Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 52: Avatar of Alexandrite (The Ice Knife Saga)

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

Duck Team is confronted by an avatar of Alexandrite! Calder meets some polar orcs, Sol becomes unpredictable, and Callie unlocks a new fear. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford."Shock at the Dock" by Emily Axford. "Corrupted" by Emily Axford."Bloody Mural" by Emily Axford. "The Frozen Fist" by Emily Axford. "Mothership Lobby" by Emily Axford. "The Widow" by Emily Axford. "Calder Kilde" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford. "A Memory" by Emily Axford."Tundra Trudge" by Emily Axford. "Crash Landing" by Emily Axford."Tarragon's Terrarium" by Emily Axford. "Into the Planar Pool" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Gum Podcast. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everybody. Bahumia! I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Feeling the need to find a steed. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr steal the pony. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, that's fun. Maybe that's how your magic works. And then of course we've got Emily Axford. Hoping to spend Samhain with Gregor and Cowan, Calliope Patrickaw.

You said right before we started recording that you were gonna stop doing rhymes and then instead got a really scared look and said that one very forcefully. You panicked. Well, because I was like, I could just finally stop doing rhymes and say, 2024, rhyme in no more, go, I think that you're gone. Whoa, that's good. It's too late though. It's too late.

I can still say that. I can still say that next episode. You can still say that next time. Okay, we write that down because I'm weird. Write it down. Yeah, that's really good. Late January, early February. Yeah, it's a good way to go out. Call it for 2024, I was just doing January.

Look, I do things late. I watched Awesome Powers 2 last night for the first time. Yeah, some people do a dry January. You're going in the Myers preferred order. We're doing a rhyme January. Yeah, rhyme January and then off once we get that February. Then we're off, we're off and Feb. That's great.

And then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner. I'll do one of my last rhymes. Feisty Frog, strong as an ape, and the only puffin' I like is from Callie's Vape. Yeah! Oh! Yay! That's actually a solid one to go out.

Really, you wanna give that up? You maybe believe in rhymes again. I know. Sword. Although it's also like a beautiful one to end on. Yeah. There's something perfect about vaping. Damn, you made me believe though. Should that be the one?

Should we hang that in the rafter? I think we should print that into a book of hymnals. I gotta be honest, if there ever was a time to stop the rhymes, it would have been in the middle of Elder Mourn when it just turned into honk and bonk and yelling and making horn sounds and everyone could argue that we did stop the ride.

Yeah, that actually was right. That was right. That was right and good. That was good and it was right. Yeah, next week I'm just going to come with a full Korg keyboard that has frog noises programmed into it. Okay, wow. And I'm just going to play beautiful little frog ditties.

And that's just all we're going to do for the rest of the show. Right on. Oh my God, little ditties. Little ditties. That's so cute. Okay, and with that, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time, you said goodbye to the Sea Elves of Sooner by helping set up an open mic at the Grand Mariner with Riaris and unfortunately,

Old Guppy. We leave everywhere better. Different. Different, but better. We leave, everywhere we go, we leave different. Leave some trace. Old Guppy gifted you a finicky fish who Callie managed to steal back after re-gifting. What are we doing? I have to say, I did that as a bit and then I crit. Yeah. And then I was like, God, Gunk is coming. Yeah, Gunk's here.

I must support G support her a bit. Ursia and the elves fixed up your submersible, the egg, and she gave you a shell phone that you could use to reach out to her if you ever need the wisdom of the Octo-Magi. Thank you. You hopped in the egg and rocketed off towards the frigid north. Along the way, Calder told you a little bit

about his hometown, the unforgiving cold, the bully older brothers, and his mother, the ranger. Saul attempted to reach out to Swag via his spores, but got nothing but bad vibes in return. Calder taught Calder the fine disteed spell, and collectively you were able to summon Licorice and Honey Suckel, who got a bit of a boost. Yes, Very cute. Eventually, reaching your destination, your sub docked at Flurry Harbor, the furthest point inland that you can get in the frigid north by water. You discovered the town abandoned,

save for three little puffinfolk Roscoe, birdie and Clyde. You had tea with Roscoe who asked for your help in tracking down his fellow villagers who were lost on a hunting trip. So dirty of you, man. Puffins are so cute. I know. I did it on purpose. I feel like I partially didn't trust them because they were... Really? I was trying to do the opposite. I was trying to get you guys not to make inside checks just by them being like, Well, hello there Little bit of tea with the puffins. I wanted to charm. I wanted to put the dice away. It took a while It took a bit you guys sat and had tea with them. They could have poisoned you They can get one poison yeah, that's allowed Anyway, you resolved to leave before the mountains in the morning, but noticed some red flags about the puffin' folk. They were giving off a strange reading on the sunglasses, their detect thoughts were

a little too on topic, and they were apparently listening in on your room via some kind of tiny portal. Creepy. Creepy. Calder went outside to investigate and he came upon a group of polar orcs who were sneaking up on the village. The orcs were caught off guard and clearly wet behind the ears but calmed down once they learned that Calder was not with the quote, dwarves that came out of the sea. Meanwhile, Saul and Calde received a knock at the door from Roscoe who warned that Calder had run into members of the frozen fist. He insisted that they need to be dealt with, but you declined.

Roscoe suddenly took on a more threatening and robotic tone before morphing into an avatar of Alexandrite and pushing his way in. And with that, everybody go ahead and roll initiatives. Including Calder, including Calder. Wow, right into it, huh? Still these birds. You don't know it yet, but you're in trouble.

14 for Calliope. 29, sir. 15. If that's all right with you, sir, it's not. Roll again. Right away, sir. That's a four. Is that better?

Okay, much better. Put you at the bottom of the order here. Thank you. No, no, you go. It's an honor to play with you, sir. Yeah. You're so subservient. I feel like I have to treat you like shit, if that makes sense.

Thank you, Daddy Murphy. I have another role. Yes, sir. May I roll with disadvantage, Daddy? I feel like you love it for some reason. Sure, it was permission, May I roll with disadvantage. It's a new year. I just want to be subservient to my friends.

That's great. OK. So Saul, you are first to act. So you guys have the whole crew minus Calder in this cabin. You've got the two serpents, Licorice and Honey Suckle, Foster and Kenna. The oven is going, filling the room with an orange light. Through the big window here, you can see flakes of snow slowly falling in the moonlight, but ahead of you, you see Roscoe in the doorway has morphed

from a puff and folk to an avatar of Alexandrite. You see the feathers begin to smooth out, some turn into light blue skin and others turn into the mechanical parts that make up her hair and clothing. Again, she looks like an artificial dryad. You do see that she still has some kind of limitations Whatever host body she's using is clearly not as large or as powerful as alexandrite herself

She's a bit shorter than the projections You've seen and looks like a mix of the alexandrite, you know and to Tanya the AI from iron deep Oh, and as she turns into her quote-unquote true form, she grabs the door with frightening strength and extends her entire arm out to rip it off the hinges and push it against the wall. Whoa. Our meetings are becoming all too frequent. You are teaching me much about organic beings. You are too insignificant to evoke strong feelings, but you are beginning to annoy me.

And you see... I'm capable of being annoyed, that's interesting. That's new. You're teaching me. And you see a frightening kind of break in her normally just stoic and kind of calm, kind expression, this like kind of robotic expression. You see a little bit of humanity kind of leaking in as her eyes sort of bulges with restrained anger. Beatrix?

Beatrix is long gone. Are you sure? Seems like there's a taste of something left in there. Oh, I have the collective knowledge and experience of many beings, and I'm beginning to understand why you all fight each other so much. Uh, Saul, you are first act. Well, if you're learning about being a human then you need need to learn some manners, because it's rude to stand in the doorway. And I'm just going to headbutter. Great. Open or shut, it's cold outside. I think back to the egg where Saul consistently forgot

to flush the toilet. Saul's learning as well. And I swallow the inconsistency. You see, as you're going for a headbutt, she wasn't expecting that. She's fought you guys a lot, so is beginning to kind of learn your movements and stuff. As you go to attacks, all you're used to kind of catching people flat-footed, you see she pivots, she looks at you, she starts to move as if to dodge a punch or something, but you're

quicker and you go in for a headbutt. Yeah, I think I inflate my head in the same way I can inflate my fist. Hell yeah. Okay, here think I inflate my head in the same way I can inflate my fist. Hell yeah. Okay, here come four attacks for your brother. 21, 14, 17, 28. 21 and 28 both hit. Okay, 21, 28 hit. You go in, you crack her in the face with this headbutt,

but then the follow up two punches miss, but then you do sort of a flipping kick that catches her off guard and kicks her in the gut. Okay, that's gonna be 34 points of damage. Nice. Your last kick hits her in the gut. She looks up at you with cold calculating eyes and goes, ah so you've learned a few new tricks, Solomon. I can assure you I've learned more. You see she's going to rush forward and you see she extends her hands and does the inflating fist thing that you do and goes to punch you in the face.

What? Oh she stole our moves. Shit. That is a 26 to hit on the first hit. Oh that fucking hits. You see you go to flicker away with your scarf of displacement but she predicts where you're gonna go and punches you into the wall for 10 damage. The next thing she does, she takes her other hand, you see like mechanical wires extend as she shoots her hand out like it's a rocket gauntlet at you as it grows and the fingers go to wrap around you to like crush and grapple you. 19 a hit on that one?

That misses. Okay, so you're able to dodge out of the way, so the first hit, you kind of re-correct yourself and this giant gauntleted hand crashes through the wall of the cabin. What? Get your own stick, what are you doing? I have a lot of people's sticks.

You see then, she bends her head unnaturally and out from her spine, you see this arcane, it looks like a leash shoots out and goes to connect with your neck. No, no. Dirty 20 to hit on that one. That does it. Okay, connects with the back of Saul's neck.

Saul, you take seven damage right off the bat and the arcane leash stays connecting you two guys. After the Avatar of Alexandrite's turn, we are going to cut over to Calder. And all of my new friends, these guys love me. And all of your new friends. Come on gang, let's go get these guys. Yeah, you see Calder, the orcs look nervous. They turn their heads at the sound of kind of every gust of wind.

You see they've got blue skin, thick leather armor covered in snow. They look young like they're new recruits, not hardened warriors by any means. But the one speaking to you is a little bit different. It looks like he's willed himself to be brave, kind of is carrying himself like the leader of this little crew. He's got a look of intensity, veins sticking out of his smooth head from the stress. Do you think these guys would understand if I spoke in giant? Yeah, yeah, you think there's a good chance you know that a lot of the polar orcs out here dealt with probably people from the ice knife. You guys are a couple

days ride, but it does stand to reason that they'd be dealing with other giants, perhaps even in their own village. Okay, so I guess like yeah, in in giant or maybe even in like some kind of like I guess like yeah, in Giant or maybe even in like some kind of like far up North dialect, maybe I put on the accent or something. Okay. I say, I'm from the North like you. I want to protect it. Who has come here? The dwarves that came out of the sea, they attacked this village. We sent warriors to investigate, but they never came back. So we're here to rescue them, right? It turns to the other guys.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah, definitely, we're're here to rescue them right? It turns turns to the other guys yeah yeah no no yeah definitely we're definitely going to rescue them. All right something something isn't right come back to our cabin we can try to figure out what's going on I'll let you meet my comrades. Suddenly you hear a crash from the cabin in the distance and from out here in the wintery night you can see the orange glow of your guest house and a whirl of activity through the window. Okay, yeah, something's definitely not right. I guess I'm just gonna take off towards there and I'm gonna say, follow me if you want to protect your land.

All right, I'm with you. My name is VTEC, by the way. VTEC? Yeah. Calder killed the- All right. ...of the ice knife. You see, he runs after you and joins you and the other guys just by pure not knowing where to go, a couple of them look out towards the tundra, like would we be safer out there?

I guess we'll just follow a couple steps behind these guys. But as you begin rushing towards the house with V-Tech with you and these other guys, you see two puffin' folk emerge from either side of you. Well gee, folks, it's not safe being out here in the cold! I'm Birdie! Thanks Birdie, yeah, we're headed home. Ah!

Catch you later. I don't know! You see Birdie blocks your path and Clyde, this other other puffin folk, gets in the way of V-Tech. I got nothing against you, Birdie. Stay out of this. Okay. All right, Birdie. Now calm down. You're all right. Sorry. Sorry, we're all in this. Yeah, yeah, you don't want to be out here. You might catch a cold. Okay. Yeah, I'm headed back I'm gonna just try to brush brush past them. Yeah, you see Clyde holds out a wing to stop you. You might catch a cold. Yeah, you already said that or a beaten

You see their feathers begin to pull back as their bodies begin to morph and these two Look like more kind of crude versions of Alexandrite. They look like whatever their host body maybe isn't as powerful as the other one. They have the mechanical dryad parts, but they're sort of like a sickly gray to them as if you're seeing kind of more of their host body.

Calder, you are first to act. You act before these two lesser avatars of Alexandrite. Clod, do you think I ever get cold? And I'm gonna summon my ice sword. The ice sword appears in the air as you see an avatar of Alexandrite just turns her head. Clive isn't real, did you not understand that? You stay out of this, Bertie. Bertie is also not real.

They speak in tandem. All right, so I'll take three swings at the Alexandra that used to be Clyde. Okay, great. 26, dirty 20, and a 19. All three hits. You run up to where Clyde was and just real quick barrage of attacks. You were already ready to fight Clyde, and she was thinking you'd have more mercy on the Puffins, but you've caught her off guard.

Take that, Clyde. That's 38 damage. Okay. You go over, you slash into her. It is creating real wounds that look like they're starting to seal up, like there are mechanical parts of her, but it cannot heal up fast enough to completely close the wound. She does seem to have some kind of limitations in this form. She sort of grimaces, but turns and smiles

and gets ready to attack you. And then I will action surge. Oh. And say, what's the matter, Birdie? You thought I didn't save any for you? Ha ha ha ha. 28, natural three, and a natural two. So I only saved a little bit for what used to be Birdie.

Great, so you, okay, so wait, you're, so you're attacking the other one with fresh HB? Yeah. Okay, great. So you go to third against Birdie. I'm emotional! I'm not fighting smart. I've been betrayed by two puffins. I didn't even know you called us!

You see the Alexandrites can't predict you. Why did it have to be you, Birdie? 18 damage to Birdie. Great, okay. Or Alexandrite Bird't predict you. Why did it have to be you, Bertie? 18 damage to Bertie. Great, okay. Or Alexandrite Bertie. I get what you mean. You said you were Bertie. You see, Alexandrite sees that you have this weird connection to Bertie.

And you see, she makes her face turn into a puffins and goes, Help, Carter, I'm still in here! I pull back at the last second, going to a knee. And that's why you missed the other two. What's happening? After Calder's turn, we're cutting back to the cabin where Callie, that is your turn, you see that she has some weird connection now to Sol. Okay, I'm going to give Honey Suckle a little pat on the butt

and point in the direction of Calder. Run! Honey Suckle is going to just burst through a wall. Yeah, something must be able to. The cabin doesn't even stop, doesn't even need to go through the window. Run, run, run, just explodes out, takes off. What is his speed?

40 feet. Okay, so with a full dash action, Calder, you see, honeysuckle appears out of the snow, was burrowing under it, and suddenly bursts out this serpent, you orc recruits just fucking freak out. Holy shit, they've got the word! It's all right, it's all right. They've got the word!

It's all right, he's with me, he's with me. What do you mean? He's all right. I taught some Iraq. Oh, rah rah. Rah alright. I taught some Iraq. Oh, wow. See, very cute. And then I'm going to get on Lycrush's back. And I'm going to try to, as we're going,

Lycrush is going to unleash for the first time his lightning breath on Alexandra. And I'm going to take out my sword, and I'm going to try to sever this tie between tie between soul. Right, very, very cool. Oh, okay. Remind me what she needs to roll to avoid getting hit with this lightning breath. DC-13 Constitution saving throw.

She just hits a 13 on the Constitution saving throw. So you see Azlikrish rears back and lets out this lightning breath. She's kind of caught flat footed, has never seen Lykrish before. Oh, this is new But looks like she kind of is able to harden herself takes on kind of like a rubbery look as the lightning hits her Okay, she still takes nine damage that rad. Okay, cool And then I'm going to bonus action give soul a bar to conspirator

He's making saves as I try to attack this. Great, go ahead and make an attack. We'll say it's going to be the same as her AC. Her AC is 18. Oh my god, that already on the dice. Great, okay, so Calli, you slash in with the Luck Blade and hit this psychic arcane leash that shatters with some kind of like magical sparkles. It goes to regrow and go back together. Saul, you are going to get to do an intelligence saving throw to break free of whatever she's trying to do here.

Cool. I remember I gave you a bardic. I got a bardic, I'm gonna need it, that is my worst stat. Okay, you're trying to hit a 15. That's a 16. Yes! I'm gonna that part.

The arcane leash breaks and Saul is freed of whatever influence or whatever she was trying to do. I'm already part of a network. I don't need you. I'm aware of your network. It is inferior. We'll see. Can your network knit sweaters like this?

Saul, the sweaters aren't the best selling point, maybe. No, but they're so cozy. True, true. I can make sweaters, too. Fuck. She's everything. And then can I use my second attack to hit her? Yes, of course.

That is an 18. That hits. OK, that hits. OK, great. OK. I'm going to do a fourth level smite and a defensive floor-ish 36 damage shit Okay, it's not bad

Explosion of starfire from the back of liquorish you see she's trying to do the calculations and stuff She's fought you guys before but they were under extremely different conditions. You're on Licorice's back licorice is using his breath weapon for the first time. You break the arcane leash, you turn around. She's trying to defend one thing and you attack her with another. And she is starting to look pretty hurt. After your turn, that is actually Kena's turn.

And Kena looks up at you guys, what do you require the squire? Why don't you take a swing? Okay. Yeah. looks up at you guys, where do you require the squire? Why don't you take a swing? Okay. Kena pulls back, instinctively goes to take the cover off of the hammer. Oh right, give that away, thank god. I mean, oh no.

Working on anyone, don't worry. You see, she does manage to miss on the first attack, but she does hit on the second attack and does 11 damage. So Kena kind of notices that the first kind of traditional head-on attack that she does is scouted pretty easily by Alexandrite who definitely dodges out of the way. So Kena kind of spins around and uses all the momentum to do a mighty second attack and manages to crack her in the back. After Kena's turn, that is the orc's turn. They see a serpent has just exploded out of the snow.

They see two puffins have just turned into mechanical dryads who then make the face of puffins and threaten people. So V-Tech is gonna stay by your side, looks like he's ready to fight. The other three are going to do courage checks, essentially, to see if they stay. Oh, I did put a Peace Frog shirt on Honey's sockle

before I sent him. Okay. So he's coming in peace. Oh, mom! Oh, mom! It's got the little white flag. Oh, mom! No one, you can't hear this,

but Murph just said nom nom and did a little Peace Sight with his hands, it was really cute. Does the Peace Frog look like Saul? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so one of the orcs goes fuck this man! Specifically looking at a hunky suckle and runs off towards the snow. I get it. I totally get it. Don't take it personally.

And you see VTEC turns around the coward and is going to charge in. The other two guys are going to join in and help to they look Scared, but they're they're trying to help as best they can and are going to attack these lesser avatars They're gonna go after Clyde you see the avatar takes the face of Clyde gee you really want to hit a puffin do ya hey Clyde you've never been cool Okay, one hit on the Avatar is gonna do 11 damage. They do a D12, cause they're using like battleaxe's big two handed weapons.

Nice. So not insignificant. And then you see Vitek is going to take an attack recklessly, kind of charges in Devil May Care and swings this big great sword. And is going to hit, because of the recklessness, does weirdly mirrors what Kena just did and swings way too hard, misses, but just spins around and keeps going with it way more heart than skill and is going to do nine damage.

So not a significant amount of damage. This one, Lesser Alexandrite is looking quite hurt. However, that is the Lesser Avatar's turns. You see the one is going to take a couple of attacks on you. First thing it tries to do is do like an uppercut strike. You see the Alexandrite deeks forward, but then suddenly shifts and hand turns massive like soles and goes to uppercut, up through you. That is 20 to hit you.

That would hit, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna cast Shield, have a big ice wall come up and explode for 2d6 on Clyde. Right on, oh yeah, one of your new abilities. So you hold your sword out, you parry it. It looks at first like your sword shatters, but what's really happening is your sword breaks apart turns into a bunch of icicles Attacks the Alexanderite and then reforms. Yeah, and that's seven damage nice. Okay, not an insignificant amount of damage

Now you're the one catching a cold Clyde Very clever, I will remember this joke and tell it to other people when you're not around Don't steal my jokes. That's my pet peeve After the first attack is going to take a regular Unarmed strike 21 to hit that misses so the icicles reform your sword But it's even more massive than before so you're able to easily parry it. It's this big great sword now After that the second one is going to start trying to take down the orc recruits. You see she takes two quick cracks and instantly

downs the other two orcs that were joined by V-Tech. V-Tech just looks like, no, no, no. I go back to back with V-Tech. Right on. He takes an uneven stance at your back, sort of reminds you of maybe like when you were younger he's got a sword that's like just a little bit too big for him. Two hands V-Tech. Right, right, right. It drops the shield, holds it properly with two hands. After the lesser avatar's turns that is back up to Saul's turn. Okay, Saul thinks back to the battle with Ultras and remembers how well his distractions worked then.

So what he's going to do is he's going to charge towards Alexandrite, trip over Foster, fall face flat, and then push himself up, do a back flip, and kick towards Alexandre. There's just no way to read these movements. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Was that on purpose? You'll never know. And I'm gonna do another flurry of blows,

but also gonna try and stunning strike this time. Right on, nice. Yeah, baby. Here we go. Short circuit hair. Okay, so that's a 15, a 12, an 18, and a nat 20. Woo! Right on! But before we even get to that 20, I'm going to inflate my fist further.

Okay. Even bigger than Alexandra, I can inflate hers. And I'm gonna try and boost that 15. Great. Fuck, that's just a one. Okay. So that just makes it a 16. So that's still two hits, one of them a nat 20.

Right on. All right, let's do the damage. Yeah, your fake out, she has to really pivot her entire body to get out of the way of this handspring. It kind of catches her flat footed, so it allows you to get a critical strike on the follower. Yeah. 26 points of damage.

Saul, you fuck her right up. You see, she is beginning to show signs of the fact that she's using some kind of human body. You see this like sickly grayness, almost kind of zombie like beyond whatever glamor she's putting on to make herself look like the Alexandre avatar. And then as I'm up on her, I'm going to flatten my hand

and try and jab right into one of these protruding tubes and stunning strike. Right on. She does pass. And in fact, go ahead and give strike. Right on. She does pass and in fact, go ahead and give me an inside check. 23? With a 23, as you hit into her, you know you hit her in the exact right spot

that any human being would get stunned by this, but she is not a human being. You see, she does not react to that and kind of just turns her head and looks at you with a little smile. Where is swag? Tell me. He's right here. Give him back. He is mine. He is us. No, that wasn't a choice he made. You don't have the right. Salt kicks back and prepares for the next round. That is the avatar of Alexandrite's turn. She's gonna go ahead and take a chance.

She's gonna try to do this mind leash thing, but this time on Kali, you see she smiles at you, Saul, but then cracks her neck, you see a arcane wire shoots out from her spine and goes to attach to Kali. That is 18 to hit you, Kali. My AC is 21 because I defensively flourish. You strike it away with your sword. See, now this gets to what I wanted to tell you,

which is that going into the Feywild is a false premise. Do you think you're gonna be able to manipulate them the way that you can, people on the material play? I mean, it's a playground of calm artists and charmers. You think you can out charm them? She leans in very close to you. My records tell me that the humanoids of the Feywild are susceptible to curses. That magic connects all of them. I heard once of a queen whose broken heart froze her entire kingdom. What if I were to become queen? What would happen then? I just don't think you have the charisma to make it in fair while.

You see, the eye bulges again. We're very shallow. You are teaching me a lot a lot About being a human You are teaching me a lot She goes forward and just takes two attacks to try to punch you in the face First one big time fucking with next one is a 23 to hit. I'm going to defensive Big time fucking with next one is a 23 to hit. I'm going to defensive Dualist and add four to my AC so now it's 25

Wow, okay, so she takes she makes her fists like metal and goes to crack you across the skull You hold up your sword and there was a loud clang as you block it between her enormous knuckles very very annoying After the avatar of alex Alexander its turn that is Calder's turn. Alright. So Calder you've got these two orcs not dead but just downed. These two lesser avatars one of them does not look very hurt at all and the other one is pretty hurt. Okay. The one that's pretty hurt is uh old Clyde right? Old Clyde, yeah. Okay. You don't wanna hit me, aye. You're the one I wanna hit the most.

Or which one down the orcs? You see, both of them take on Birdie's face. It wasn't me, help, I'm still inside here. Oh, you're dug into my heart strings, Birdie. Help, please. Gotta get your head on straight, Calder. I'm gonna go after Clyde old Clyde In 18 and 19 and the 17 to hit 17 actually hits these lesser ones. So you hit all three

38 damage rad. Okay. You fully finish off the lesser avatar that was taking over Clyde you see it goes from looking like sort of this version of Alexandrite to a zombified mothership employee, deathly pale. It looks like a dwarf of iron deep, but with a mechanical parasite, like something attached to its spine and replaced their entire nervous system with wires and nano machines. Oh man. And you see this like glazii dwarf just collapses in the snow after the last attack.

Is this you too, birdie? Ha ha, no, I'm inside, it's just a puffin' folk. Would you let me use the glory of the snow helm to burn a charge and do two D12 like a cleave? Yeah, why not? Yeah, you swing through, you charge your helm, you see frost coming off of it. And that is 18 damage to Birdie.

Okay, great. Birdie's also looking pretty hurt. Okay, sweet. If I can use my movement, I would like to just stand between, oh, well, I guess Vitek wants to get an attack. I just don't want Vitek to die, but we're back to back. Vitek wants to get an attack. I just don't want Vitek to die, but, you know, we're back to back.

Vitek looks a little hardier than I stand my ground. Right on. After Calder's turn, that is Callie's turn. OK. I think Calliope's putting on a brave face, but as Alexandra mentions Queen Cirilla and her broken heart and freezing her kingdom, she thinks of her own broken heart and freezing her kingdom, she thinks of her own broken heart

in the way that it sort of like fucked her whole life. And she's very aware of the vulnerabilities of the fey and she's going to just take three fucking attacks. Right on. Yeah. 28, 26 and 27. Yeah. Okay. 28, 26 and 27. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you're on the back of Lycoris,

so you've got advantage, so Lycoris rears up, you have the high ground on her and you stab down into her. Yeah. I'm gonna do two fourth level smites and a third level smite. Right on. All right.

42 damage for the first attack. Callie, finish this avatar of Alexandra. Kallai, if he puts on an ombre face, and she continues with a hearty arrogant so that she doesn't actually feel, and she just says, you might wanna work on your crowd work. And then she decapitates it.

You slash through Alexandrite, and you see her mechanical head rolls onto the floor and she just goes oh Kali I'm all crowd work. Yeah that's fucking true you're like fucking crowd sourced. She smiles and then you see her face warps goes from a smile to a twisted face of agony. And you see that she has left behind the zombified corpse of another one of these mothership warriors, probably like a synth knight like you would have been in Esri. The body drops and you see all of these wires poking out of them.

Ugh. Can I investigate and look at these wires? Yeah. I know I'm not a very like keen investigator, but I would try. Great. You go over to look at them and actually let's settle combat. So, honeysuckle actually gets a turn because honeysuckle is out there with V-Tech and Calder. Actually, Licorice didn't go.

He could slip out from between my legs and go take an attack. Yeah, you see, Kenna's gonna hop on to the back of Licorice and Licorice darts them out. Don't worry, backup's on the way. We brought a zoo. V-Tech just goes goes more friends of yours. Yeah, there's like a thousand these serpents on their way. Okay, cool. Good. Good. I check if that frightened birdie at all. Just knows you're lying just keeps eyes on the prize. Okay, shit, then I come clean to V-tech too. I

was just kidding. After Cali's turn that is Kenna's turn Kenna has shown up on licorice's back One potion to one of the orcs one potion to the other orc action bonus action They pop back up with sort of renewed vigor They've they've faced their fears and they've lived to fight another day are gonna jump in and try to help V tech here One hits seven damage-Tech takes a reckless strike, looks a little bit braver, is two hands on the hilt so he's actually swinging it correctly and manages to down this lesser avatar, stabs into her and once again you see DeAnimates turns into this sort of zombified corpse and drops down.

I DeAnimate my sword and I go over and I give Vitek a predator handshake. Hell yeah. Thank you. Thank you friend. Thank you. You dealt the killing blow. Vitek, this is who we're fighting. I was fighting them down south and now they're here. They're in our home. I heard a story about these creatures, but I've not fought one, I've not seen one up

close to be completely truthful. We don't have a ton of field experience. And Kanna goes, tell me about it, man. You need to get an internship, sort of a squireship. You really should be out here with sort of a night or something or maybe a head ranger maybe do you know great sword your Habers like what a what to a what thrill would maybe Kenna needs to take him on a suspire work study yeah you see um V-tech nods and turns to the two orcs that were injured and goes,

I'm sorry for taking you on this mission. It was foolish of me. It wasn't foolish. You fought bravely. You helped. We won. Come back with me and tell my friends and I the stories that you've heard about these people. Calder, as you're talking to V-Tech, go ahead and give me a perception check. Shout out to the two crew. Okay. Calder, you feel cold steel up against your neck. Unlike these new recruits, this guy was not easy to find in the snow. You feel cold breath on your neck. Sorry friend. I had to get a close look to be sure.

You're not one of those creatures you're from here, huh? I am. And who are you? I am friend of these, these fools. You see, V-Tech looks scared at the person behind you, but not like, uh-oh, we're gonna get killed, more like, uh-oh, I'm in trouble. I guess I, without turning around, say, and you fought bravely, and I spit on the ground. Oh. Okay. You're another one that was wet behind the ears.

Pushing you forward, you see a well-built, like seasoned orc warrior. You see like big beard with a blue beard, kind of similar to yours, but with like a strike of white in it. And you see along with him are like 11 warriors who snuck through the snow quietly. These guys are all in heavy leather armor

and with snow on to like camouflage them. Not only that, but you see wolves nearby pulling this sledge. And they're just, it was all completely silent. They completely snuck up on you. V-Tech holds his hands up and goes, Commander Fuldar, I'm sorry for breaking orders, I was worried for the warriors who came here and Fuldar cuts them off. So you thought you would join them in the

grave? I told you they were dead, but we are here now, so join the other set up a perimeter. I will talk to our new friend. VTEC salutes Fuldar and the other, you see the orc that ran away is being accosted by the other rangers. He's in even more trouble. You run the way twice. You run the way to come fight and then you don't fight. What's your deal, man? So you see this dude full-dar Puts his hand on your shoulder and begins leading you guys Towards the cabin And kind of looks around sees that there's not much action here But does see a light on in the guest house that you guys were in and goes friends of yours

Yeah, those are my friends in there back in the guest house that you guys were in and goes, friends of yours? Yeah, those are my friends in there. Back in the cab in Cali, you wanted to do an investigation check on the body? Yeah, it's not my- Perception check? Or perception check? But I mean, I'm just gonna look at it. So we're looking at a five.

Okay. I don't know if I would put my face that close to those tubes. I'm tangled up in the tubes. No, not again! Callie, you look at it and all you can gather with a five is just that it looks like Alexandrite has taken these people over. We already knew that through the transporter, she was able to get rid of a lot of their own sort of bio matter and replace it with her own artificial intelligence. So this is sort of the mechanical aspect of her,

the AI spreading through their body has created this like network of veins and arteries and everything to her own sort of central system. This explains the reading that we got before. They're long gone, they're all mixed in. Yeah. I don't I don't know how anyone could successfully untangle this. Yeah, this is bad. Uh, you see that Calder and a extremely jacked orc man. Whoa. Enter the house. Hello.

Jacked or command whoa enter the house hello Kelly Saul I'd like you to meet a big warrior who snuck up on me in the snow but he actually seems all right hello my name is full dark hello full dark thank you for not killing our friend yeah you got it no problem do you come as a friend or as a foe? I guess it depends on what your intentions are here. I kick Alexandro's head over to his feet. Alright, seems like we are on the same side. He tucks it like a football at his side, puts it into a bag. We will study this. I would be careful studying that though.

We've had some run-ins with kind of parasitic machines in the past. I would recommend burning it as soon as you can. Interesting. You see, he takes it out of the bag and pumps it out into the ocean. Oh, we could have played at least one game with it. All right, they could swim out there,

but the disc would go. Water polo? You kicked that so far. That was insane. Yeah. Have you or your people encountered Alexandrite? I don't know Alexandrite, but if you're asking if we've dealt with these creatures. Sort of like a Magitech presence.

You see, Foldar explains that he's familiar with the Mothership Corporation and Magitech, of course. They have some Magitech up here and where he's from, but he does not appear to be familiar with Alexandrite I do not know who Alexandrite is but I have heard the tell of this recent Scourge and he points at the body of this Mothership warrior that is now an avatar of Alexandrite How far into the north have they pushed?

I am not sure. Let's take one second. Let's share a drink. I was supposed to be off tonight, and I had to go out chasing those who were wet behind the ears. Okay, yeah. There's plenty of cabins here if you want to bring your men in, and we can, you know, try and wrestle up something.

Right on. You see, full dart goes goes over it just starts going through the cabinets goes ah this will do. It finds like a dusty old wine bottle pours himself a mug. You guys want some or? I think I'm in like diplomatic mode so I'm kind of like okay you take a sip of it first. Red Dawn takes takes a huge sip of it drinks the whole mug. I'll take this one. In fact, you should take your own, honestly. He keeps his own bottle, grabs one for you guys.

Saul brings over a bottle like one of those little frog statues that holds wine. Aw. Great. You guys all share a glass of wine and Fuldar sits here with you and kind of leans over. It had kind of like leaned back for a sack to like drink his wine, but leans forward with purpose and goes, first off, thank you for helping our recruits. They would have been killed by these creatures. Oh, I owe them my thanks as well. So after you discipline them however you're going to, let them know that I

appreciated the support. Well, if they like running off into the night to fight people, they'll like doing drills in the morning and doing watch at night, I'm sure. I raised my glass. Anyway, this village was attacked three days ago. Only a few managed to escape. They told us that dwarves of Iron Deep arrived on the shore in a strange vehicle, almost like a pod. They emerged and began attacking people using strange, unnatural movement, and many, many

died. Yeah, I think that lines up with mothership dispatching or really Alexandra at this point Alexandra and mothership. I'm not even sure like who's leading the charge here. I mean, it's just Alexandra it seems. I think so. Yeah, I don't think that mothership. This isn't really their style at all. Yes, this did not seem like the act of any kind of corporation. This was an invading army. So one day later, after the attack, we send scouts to investigate. Villages weirdly repopulated again after the battle. Scouts report back to us via magic, notices that everyone is acting strangely. Old friends suddenly feel a little bit uncanny.

After message, scouts don't come back. We send a squad of warriors. They don't come back either. And now this village is empty. How many of these monsters did you fight here? Just three. It was only these three. Oh, did you fight the other two? Me and V-Tech. Yeah, we fought Clyde and Birdie I was there for a second it felt like I think

Birdie was there she kept saying help me I'm still here but Caldera kept attacking see this is why I didn't trust Birdie all due respect you're only there at the end okay get up that's true that's true, Esquire cannot be a liar, I was only there at the very end. But from the out of context that I saw, it seemed like Birdie could have been saved. Calder sobs. Are there like villages all along the river

that are replaced by these avatars of Alexandria? There are not that many, this is sort of a, a unique geographic thing. There aren't many, this is sort of a unique geographic thing. There aren't many beaches this far inland in the frigid north. But I can tell you that there were a lot from the reports, there were a lot more than three of these things. And the vehicle they came from, it was described as a pod. So like a smaller vessel from a bigger one, there is no telling how many of these may have reached the mainland.

I think we know where that bigger one was going. Probably up to ice knife. Oh, well, there's no way to get to ice knife via the water. If. Oh, okay. Never mind then. They might just be sitting in advanced party to try and secure it. Or maybe seeking more bio matter.

What's the nearest most populous place to hear? It is our village, but this was a few days ago and our village has not been attacked. We have shored up our own walls. Beyond us, there is also a town called Cold Break and Calder, you're familiar with Cold Break. Basically, it's from here. It's about a hard day's ride to Cold Break. A day beyond Cold Break is the ice knife. Okay, okay. Hey there, NAD polls. This episode is brought to you by Bombus. Did you know

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I think I'm going to put on my sunglasses and say, can we resume this in your village? Yes. This conversation, I don't think that we should stay here tonight. I think we should go to your village. This conversation, I don't think that we should stay here tonight. I think we should go to your village. We can go to our village, we also have enough people here. I think that they have moved on from here if there's only three here. I mean it is true that they may double back and attack us here but I am confident in us that we would be able to

hold position. We are a bigger village a bigger settlement than this village here Okay, and if you think they have a final destination, I don't know that they would double back. Okay. Yeah, I think what so Given the geography up here would called or know that there's kind of like Trails or at least a path of least resistance that they might follow to cloud break and then ice knife. Go ahead and give me a history check. 17. OK, Calder, you know that there's basically mountains to the west that can get you there and that will offer, you know, there's like cave networks and things

like that, that has decent amounts of places to camp. You also kind of realize, I'll count this kind of as like an insight check too, that the puff and folk, the scouts of Alexandria, we're kind of left behind here. We're trying to get you to go that way, which would have been a longer way and maybe a good place to ambush somebody.

So it seems like they were maybe trying to lead you into danger. You know, it's a straight shot across the tundra. It's quicker, but more dangerous to just go straight through the frozen plains. Very barren, very hard to find a place to camp. But with a being like honeysuckle that doesn't really get tired, could probably get you to the ice knife in two days and could probably get you to cold break in a day. Okay. Well, I think I look to colder because he's kind of the authority of this area. So... Yeah, I'm just busy wriggling my toes to keep him from going numb.

Well, I guess. We know that Alexandrite's end goal is to break through Callie to your home to the Faye. I was thinking, oh, he can't be charmed. What was she thinking? But then she reminded me of how vulnerable Faye can be with our rollercoasters of emotions. And I have to believe they're trying to go directly there. They're not going to waste their time trying to take over the frigid north. Honestly, it's a good strategy because it's like so volatile. It's like a powder keg.

If they take over the Feywild, it's going to just erupt back into the material plane. If there's any connection, she'll exploit it. I know that for sure. I think we have to do the most direct thing. We have to go into the open tundra and... and try to beat them there, or at least arrive at the same time. Okay. You are... you are from the ice knife.

Calder tries to stand up a little taller than he actually is. You're already so much taller than him. This is the first roof that's been tall enough for Calder. I am only seven foot one. You are from the Ice Knife. Can I ask you again your name? You wouldn't give it to me. Calder.

Calder, Kill Day. Kill Day. I know this name. Family of Ranger Generals. That's right. You may have heard of my mother. Mira, Mira, Kill Day. The one and only.

And the new Ranger General, Gowen, Kill Day, right? Go, Gowen. Calder takes an audible gulp. Diff's on Gowen. You know it. Yeah, it's been a few years. Your mother was a legendary warrior, and Gowen is quite a reputable warrior in his own right.

Is he then? That's awesome. I mean, I know. Good for Gowen. Oh, it's good, you know, good to your family or close, you're good. I'm happy for Gowen. Good. I don't know why we're still talking about it.

And we don't have to, but you know, being in such a prime position in the village, he's probably like engaged or at least has like a partner, right? We don't talk about that really. We're more like hey big fucking blizzard that's going to destroy all of our crops and fucking kill all of us. You guys experiencing that too? Yeah no things are pretty tough. Hey somebody's trying to start a fight with us maybe send some people and help you know back and forth. Sure, sure. Priorities forth. We don't have much contact with the Ice Knife, but if you would ask me the name two people from there, I would say Mira

Kilday and Gowon Kilday. Well, I think we've got to go see them. Okay. All right. Well, Foldar, I don't know if you have any contacts in Brostwyn, but it might be worth alerting them to what's going on, because there's definitely a mothership outpost there and I could see Alexandra trying to take them over as well. Yes, we will, I guess, with great care try to study this body, see what's going on here. I'm also going to take my sunglasses and break them over my knee and give him one half so he can use it like a monocle. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you.

Yeah, so this is sort of like a way to see who's been corrupted by this Alexandrite. Yeah, it also comes in tongue form if you prefer that. No, I'll take the sunglasses. That's cool. Yeah, you see he puts the one on and he holds it over. You look like Vegeta. Over 9,000 the official. Impossible. You have this half sunglass on. I look like Vegeta too. You guys have scouters. I didn't know how much I needed to hear you say Vegeta in Callie's voice. So when you look at this body that's on the ground, it is fully red, fully Alexandrine. which will tell you that she is evolving and was

able to kind of suppress the things that made her look artificial. Quite frankly, she's evolving at a rate that I don't think I personally can keep up with. Okay. Well, at the very least, it will be good for us to be able to use this device to examine this body and we can sort of nip it in the bud if this gets anywhere else. Well, Callie, she's evolving on a predictable path. We just have to become more chaotic, more messy. That's our only hope. We're a lot, but we have to be even more.

You're right. I put down my Vegeta sunglasses, single sunglasses, and my Vegeta Hawaiian shirt in the tundra. The one that says bad man. So cool. Dragon ball, Kaliope. All right, well, you probably don't want to leave in the middle of the night, but you saved our pups. We will happily loan you a sledge if you need one. Yes, we do, we really do.

You got it, we're only with 10 mile hike, not easy, but we can do it tomorrow morning and we owe you. Our recruits, we are angry at them, but at the same time, they have the hearts of good boys. I was gonna say, I mean, I think you have to show them that you're angry But you're secretly a bit proud. Yeah, they're good boys and girls. You'd be tech a headbutt for me Yeah, we might have done something similar when I was a kid

But thank you for looking out for them. We owe you we will take our Wolves Ourselves and just walk back with them if you think you could use one of your worms or something. Yeah. Run run. Yeah. Run run. I think we're flush with animals.

Run run. I hold up gunk. Yeah. Gunk is completely frozen. I hold up the frozen. The other fish is frozen. He's sleeping. Yeah, he's eye-buddying.

But yeah, looks at it with a scouter, but seems to be okay. Seems to be okay. Seems to be alive. If you knew his dad, you'd know this is totally normal. Okay, yeah. He's resting. Okay, well, feel free to take this ledge in the morning, we will stay here.

I'll grab one of the other houses, I guess. And actually, you know what? Fuck it, I'm up. I'm just gonna do a night watch and make one of the recruits do my shift tomorrow Nice. I had him another bottle of wine. Yeah. All right. I'm going to go drink drunk on the job Hold are you living right my man? That's right. All right. See you in the morning. Okay All right, give my congratulations to Gowan. I've not seen them in a while. Very strong, very smart.

No doubt, no doubt. For sure. I'll tell him you said that, I totally agree. Okay, we'll do. Save the, Fuldar said hello. Yeah. All right, see you around. You see, Fuldar goes out, you see that VTEC specifically stands outside your eyes door

and is like holding a torch and looking out. I'm gonna light a fire with Licorice's lightning breath. And then I think I'm gonna needle cold a bit. Colder, did I detects with my scouter a bit of jealousy? Jealousy, no, that's my brother. That's awesome for him. I mean, I'm deeply jealous of my older sister. Okay, yeah. It's just that my god can't... Calder sits down, crisscross applesauce again.

It's just like your parents treat the oldest one like they are more responsible. And it's absolutely just a bias that they put onto them. They treat them as if they're more responsible. So they give them more responsibilities. They treat you like a fuck up. So they never even give you a chance that they put onto them. They treat them as if they're more responsible. So they give them more responsibilities. They treat you like a fuck up. So they never even give you a chance to prove you're not. Totally. Yeah, totally. Yeah, we knew that I always wanted to be at Scout.

I wanted to be at Scout my entire life. That's my dream job. This is exactly what families are like, salt nods without knowing. Yeah. Oh man, he deserves it. He's awesome. He's awesome.

I can't deny that. Yeah. Cold R has a second glass of wine Well, you know what some of us are knights and some of us are squires, you know, did I see you talking up VTech? Talking him up. I was just saying that maybe he could afford hammers 301 before he went out into the field without a night I thought it was good to see you taking on a bit of authority. Yeah. Interesting. I guess I don't have to be a squire forever necessarily.

Can I forgive me? What does it take for a squire to become a knight? Yeah. It doesn't need the knight to knight you. Oh. You just need any old knight to knight you? Yeah, I mean, there's ways to kind of like cheat and just get like any knight to do it for you. But that's not you. But that's not me. I'd like to honestly, there's ways to kind of like cheat and just get like any night.

But that's not you. That's not me. I'd like to honestly, I would like to be knighted by General Brodsbeard. It's got to be. And General Brodsbeard will night me when I'm ready. Yeah. Well, we will put in you put in a good word, multiple good words. Definitely use a letter of recommendation. Yeah. We can do that. Calder, what do you think Gregor thinks about this promotion?

I don't know. Look, if I was jealous of Gowen, I think Gregor might have even been more jealous of Gowen. So I can't imagine he's taking it well. Okay. Just want to know what we're getting ourselves into. Yeah, noticeably absent the mention of Gregor, who is also a ranger. Yeah. I don't know. absent the mention of Gregor, who is also a ranger. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know.

That caught me off-card, so I'm sure a lot has happened that I didn't know about. Alright. Okay. Sweet. Is there anything you guys would like to do before you go to bed? Should we whisper at Vitek through the door? Hey, you good? Do you need anything?

Let them tie you up, I'm okay. Vitek, what's your last name? Benacek? From the New Jersey Devils? I heard Emily's chuckle before I was like, okay very specific reference that I was going to just let float under the radar, but No, I think I'll just like solemnly make camp inside. Unnecessary. I pitch a tent inside, why not? Yeah.

And, uh, yeah, I think I'm just gonna sort of like let it sink in that I'm like, oh, fuck, the Feywild's actually ripe for manipulation and allow that to inform my nightmares. Oh, god! allow that to inform my nightmares. Oh God! Yeah, Callie, you go to bed and I'll say you're trying to kind of keep your cool, you're trying to keep your cool with Alexandrite and thus that kind of extended to trying to keep your cool with your friends and as you go to bed you have a dream of yourself watching Queen Jovere who's actually the queen of the Unsealy Court. She has the crown of thorns. She is the one who sentenced your mother to death. She looks like a greater goblin, like this big sort of half-giant evolved of these

like sunset goblins that are like orange and red has these big claws and this big fierce crown and you see yourself watching alexandrite approach her and you have this moment where you could step in and save the fey wild but there is an anger in your heart left over from seeing Queen Jovier sentence your mother and you hesitate for a moment and you see Alexandrite pierce her heart with one of these wires that she's able to shoot out Gain a connection to her Queen Jovier dies and you are blown back and over your dies and you are blown back and Alexandrite puts on the crown of thorns and that is the last sentient thought you have as you see the green earth around you changes to a barren wasteland of wires and machine. Fuck.

Wake up the next morning. Oh Wake up the next morning Morning Kelly I made breakfast. Oh, sir. I didn't mean to sit in alone. You made breakfast. I was gonna make breakfast What did you make? Yeah? Well, you know, we're in my hometown. I did a little fish fry. I'm gonna fishing this morning Wait, I thought you said you didn't eat fish. You promised You didn't eat fish. You promised the whale. I was lying to the whale. You lied to the whale.

I love fish. I didn't even know a lie could be uttered in whale song. Right on. Give me some fish. You guys eat breakfast together. You see, V-Tech is looking really sleepy outside. Gives you a nod as you go by in the morning call there. Yes.

Good breakfast. Good morning. I salute him We left the dishes for you V-tech. Yeah Good. Yes, I deserve it. Yeah, I Made you a cup of coffee with they didn't have coffee beans. So I just improvised What? He starts to sip it and then spits it out. Excuse me. I sniff If he takes starts to sip it and then spits it out, she is me Yeah, you guys are brought out a full-dar takes you and brings you guys out to this long sled with room for like half a dozen people and reins for the wolves up front.

You see that they've released the wolves who joined their companions obediently as they're fed chunks of meat. The wolves are excited. I sort of jump around and start wrestling with each other. Hr, hr, hr, hr. I send a serpents to go wrestle with them. Hr, hr, hr, hr.

Goes around and the wolves start chasing a honeysuckle. No lightning strikes. Play nice. The wolves wolves start chasing a honeysuckle. Play nice. The wolves start trying to bite honeysuckle, but his scales are too hard. You hear his like laughing as if he's being tickled. That's his laugh. And you see the orcs help you guys attach the reins to honeysuckle, who's way too excited. His tail is going crazy. Oh, cute.

And as soon as everyone is on board, Fuldar pats the back of the sledge and goes, thank you again, and give my regards to your family. We will, Fuldar, and go easy on those guys. Well, especially V-Tech, the one that ran away, you can punish him a whole lot. Yes, we were making him run back home And then he's going to run back here and then he's going to walk back with love's running. He's so good at the running

He's so good at the running. Yes. I love that Can I have fold are I'm just gonna be like oh actually will you will you help me? Just check something on this sledge with me, I want to get forward R1 on 1 and just say, um, I just had a quick question. Okay. Have you heard of Gregor Kilday? Gregor Kilday? No?

Okay, so you haven't heard anything bad happening to him either? No, I mean, I don't know too many people specifically from the Ice Knife, we would deal with the Ranger General directly and Gowen has never mentioned... He's not had like a look of intense grief from the loss of a twin brother on his face. Whenever we see each other, it is usually something kind of grim or one of us has had to ride a day through the tundra.

So we always look kind of grim. Kelly, you just can't get any gossip out of these people. Just looking out for my friends wanted to make sure I knew what we were walking into. He was not was not the mentioned. Okay, great. Yeah, Fuldar helps you guys onto the sledge, hits the back of it and the honeysuckle shoots off into the snow,

gobbling up snow and rocks as he does. He pulls the sledge with ease as if he's not tethered to anything at all. Whee! Cold wind to your face. Hang on tight, everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah! My eye-goop is freezing! Oh!

I can't blink, my eyes are frozen open! Yeah, yeah, Kenna lets out a happy squeal that instantly turns into a, ah! Stop, I need to bury myself in mud immediately. Yeah, yeah, Kenna lets out a happy squeal that instantly turns into a, ah! Stop, I need to bury myself in mud immediately. I have to go to sleep. The wind is fighting me, I think.

The cold wind bites at any exposed flesh and you have to cover up and lower your head just to stop it from freezing. So you guys are just kind of all huddled up together as honeysuckle shoots through the snow. I wear licorice like a minxed stole. Ah! Calder has his jacket open.

Not bad in the sun. Yeah, yeah, for Calder this is kind of normal. It's like a fall day. So it is going to be a couple days of hard riding for you guys to get there. I'm going to need two nature checks each day for whoever is navigating each day. It'll going to need two nature checks each day for whoever is navigating each day. It'll be nature or history checks in Calder's case since he knows

the area better. Sick. So you guys are going to need to do four checks total. Calder, you know this town, Cold Break. In order to successfully make it to Cold Break in one night, you have to complete your two nature checks for the day. The DC is 30 to get through the day unscathed. So it's a group effort, help actions, bardics, whatever you can do. Dump my bardics into Calder. In fact, I pivot from my song, hard one the giant layer,

to Calder kill day, the giant player. I will also add add if you fail, everyone's gonna make a con saving throw. DC will be based on how bad you fail. On a failure, you are exhausted. If you fail by five or more, you take two levels of exhaustion. Out here in the cold,

if you have any levels of exhaustion after a long rest, you are sick and you have one automatic desk saving throw fail until you're completely rested and have all levels of exhaustion removed It's very you could potentially get yourself in a position where you need like four or five days to sleep this off And by then you might be like deep in a dungeon and that would be very bad to have death saving fails Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, we say that I didn't use my bardic from Caliopeak And I'd use it to get a really good night's sleep before we leave sure yeah Yeah, Saul you wake up great. You have a great dream

Yeah, weirdly swags like what's up, man? I resisted the network Congratulations, do you want to play bumper pool? Of course. Yes So you guys are out on this ledge. Tell me what everyone is doing to help Calder navigate. I'll say, Kena's gonna hit you with a squire inspiration. So the D4, she'll also do a help to give you advantage on the roll. She's, I'll say she's got the map out, but also has set up a perimeter,

has set up like a tent kind of like barriers. So the wind isn't whipping through the map. So you're able to quickly refer to it and she's just sort of standing next to you at the ready with her finger on where you guys are and trying to kind of help you navigate this tundra. I am singing through a huge bullhorn to amplify it about like I said, Kolde or Kilday, the giant player.

And I also do have my Vegeta scout on, just in case there is Alexandrite on the horizon. Right on, nice. I think the only way I'm going to survive is if my back is to the wind. So I'm kind of like looking at our rear, making sure that nothing is coming for us. Okay, right on.

Nice. So Saul, you're on the lookout. You've got Advantage from Kenna, you've got Bardic from Cali, and you've got a D4 from Kenna. So go ahead and roll that Calder. You're trying to hit a 30. Can you get a D4 from me as well for guidance? He can. Yes. Okay, so that's your guidance is Calder not having to worry about his back at all. He knows that he's covered by you. Okay, Calder is humming along with Calder Kilday, the giant player. Also pretending that he doesn't need to look at the map.

It's fine, Ken. I can go by the tree. I'm just saying. I'm looking at the batwins here. It looks like we're getting a little far from the... I know where we're going smooth This ice he's really nice alter the giant player I Only have a 14 right now. Okay. I don't I can't hit a 30 you can't hit a 30 But this will determine how bad you guys fail

Okay, wait, I looked at my luck blade it says if the sword is on your person You can call on its luck to rer-roll one attack roll ability check or Saving throw you billy check. Okay. Yeah, and I dislike that Wow, okay? You want to re-roll the d20? Yeah, it was humming out of tune so I said now Kelly's singing a little bit louder. Okay. Oh, I see yeah, I got it That is a 19 on the die. Hell yes. It becomes a 27. Nice. Yes. Okay.

So then the D4s take you up to 30. Do you hit 30 with that? Yeah, with the D4s I'm at 32. Right on. I don't have to use the Bartic right now. So you guys are good, no exhaustion. You're able to, you've got a straight line, Calder, you look at where you're at. You see that there's like a frozen lake in your view

that matches up to where you're trying to go on the map. Again, not a lot of life out here. You don't see any animals or anything, mostly just frozen plain, but the geographic landmarks that are on the map, the very view that there are, you are noticing on your way. So you guys are heading in the right direction

as fast as you could be going. And, so you guys are heading in the right direction as fast as you could be going. And, Honey Suckle is not slowing down. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr After that, we're gonna need one more. You guys get about halfway through the day, even though Honey Suckle is essentially a construct. He's just an avatar of a serpent. He never gets tired, so you could keep going, but you guys can't be out here without a fire. At night, you'll die. It's fast.

Okay. So you're halfway through the day. You gotta do one more nature check. So everybody doing the same job? We doing more of Arctic? Absolutely. My throat is sore from singing. Yeah. So everybody doing the same job? We doing more of Arctic and everything? Absolutely. My throat is sore from singing.

Yeah. Kenna does the same thing. She's got the map. She's helping you, pointing out landmarks as they pass. Now I know the lyrics to Kelly's song, and I'm singing a little more confidently and loudly. Right. It's getting, it's going straight to my head.

Okay. That is a 23 on the die. Okay, so that's with the history, strong start. Yep. Only a one there, so that's a 24. Okay. We're at 28. Okay, so just not a one.

No problem. That's a two. Oh, shut out! Wow. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. You guys almost make a critically wrong turn. You see a, like, small frozen pond that you briefly, for a second, are like,

is it this lake of ice that we're looking at here on the map and realize that it's referring to a much bigger body of water in a slightly different direction, but you guys pick up on your mistake and are able to keep going and stay on pace. Saul sings the wrong lyrics a little too loudly for a second. His dick is cold, so I've been told, Calder the giant player. Was that right? Did I do that right?

No. I don't think Calder was trying to do like sort of like a dick thing. Were you Calder the giant player was that right? Did I do that right? No, I don't think Calder was trying to do like sort of like a dick thing Were you Calder? I was no, I was not okay, okay cuz I can write that in please don't I Can absolutely write that yeah, I didn't yeah originally. I heard the hard one song. I know you can do that Yeah, I tried to like a tailor it to the person I'm writing about. That song's all dead. And I knew hard one really fucking want that. Oh, wait, this is the wrong leg of ice. We've got to turn.

So, Calder, you're looking at the map, referring to what Ken is looking at here and see that the town of Coldbreak is very close by as the sun is setting. You guys are getting here just in time. We're not gonna take on any exhaustion. You're not gonna take on any sickness. Yes. This is at the outer edge of the mountain ranges near the ruins of Old Mount Forge where

the ice knife lies. It's very hilly here. And as you reach the peak of a hill, it is just turning tonight. Moon has risen into the sky, reflecting light onto the snow. And that is the only light source you see. Looking down from the hills, the town is completely dark. Everybody give me perception checks. Have I ever been to Coldbreak before? Yes. Great.

Shout out to the two crew. Okay. 14. 13. Okay. You guys look at the town here and you get the immediate sense that something is wrong. You would be able to see fires from inside people's houses. Cal, do you've been here before? You know that they have scout towers and stuff. They have like beacons that are lit up so that people can see them so that scouts can come back from ranging missions and whatnot and this is just cold dead town. Did you say there was like a tower like a scouting tower? Yeah.

Can I try and like run up it and get a better look? Sure. You guys approach the town. Saul there is no one manning the bottom of this tower. You walk inside, you see that there's like a little area, there's some like storage crates and whatnot, a little area for people to sit or people that are off duty or whatever. Everything looks undisturbed, nobody here. You go up the steps, you get to the top, go ahead and give me another perception check. You can do this one with advantage sick once again feel the cold air and it is getting

Unbearably cold we're gonna have to get inside soon Saul covers his mouth with his scarf And tries to survey that's going to be dirty 20 dirty 20 Okay, that's going to be dirty 20 dirty 20 Saul with your connection to nature Hmm, I'll say a big thing that you see and this is a bit of a nature check and a bit of an inside check You look in you see no signs of giants or any kind of humanoid life You see no footprints. You see nothing like that. It's just a complete ghost town, but what you do see are Nothing like that, it's just a complete ghost town. But what you do see are white Arctic foxes, like a couple of them,

and some other like scavenger animals are going through the town. Do the white foxes have red muzzles? Do they have blood on their face? They actually don't. Okay, okay, all right. And they look like, no one's ones like none of these scavenger animals look like they've found anything really. In fact, you see some of them are like pulling

food out from a tavern or something like that and no one's stopping them, which is another concern. Okay. Since this is a watchtower, is there any sort of like emergency beacon or flare up here? Like anything that would suggest that they tried to warn the village or? Yeah, you see that there is a essentially like a giant bonfire that would go up here and the ashes are cold. OK, I slide back down and do that video game thing where you slide down a ladder. Yeah, I get to the bottom. You join Calder and Callie.

I relay this information. I say, it seems like if somebody was here, they'd been gone for a while. All right. Well, I like our chances better in this village than outside of it. We have to get a fire going. Can I look to see if there are any doors to underground passages? Yeah, go ahead. Just in case something went down so they retreated underground. Go ahead and give me investigation or perception check as you go and look around the grounds near the tower.

Nine. You don't see any kind of trap door or anything and again it is very similar to how Flurry Harbor looked when you guys first showed up except this is a bigger town. It's smaller than the ice knife but it's the biggest town besides the ice knife. I am going to approach an Arctic fox and cast Speak with Animals. Great. Hello little predator. You are, you have to-

Aren't you so scary? You have to chudge through some like deep snow between cottages and like these modest public buildings. You see that there's an empty tavern called the Winter Bloom that has a like white flower on this tavern sign that is shaking back and forth. You see that this fox has gone in and grabbed like a slab of meat from like the back of the tavern. Is the meat rotting? The meat looks like it was preserved, like it was like salted or something. So it could stay for a

while. So you see the fox has it and And as you say, little predator drops the meat and stands over it. It's mine. It's mine. Yes, it is because you're so bad and scary. That's right. That's right. Look at those teeth.

That's right. Why you'd make a chef jealous? Because they. A chef jealous? Why? Because they have like knives. And your teeth are so much more efficient. Okay, there's a long walk to get there but we found it.

Wow, you're quite articulate. That's gonna come in handy because I want to ask you some questions. I'm articulate. And you're clever too? Yes, clever as a fox. Are you from the fair wild? No.

Oh, we have a lot of foxes there. I actually don't know what the fair wild is. Okay, well, I was wondering if you't know what the Veo Wild is. Okay, well, I was wondering if you could tell me what happened to this town. How long have you been scavenging here? And do you know where any of the people who were here went? Usually, they would kick us out of a place like this, but we've had run of this place for... two days?

Two days? Do you know what clued you off that you'd have run of this place? Some smaller folk came by, entered the city. Was there a battle? There was some kind of fight, there was some kind of commotion, and the next day there was no one. Usually after a battle there's something for us to pick from but Usually after a battle there's something for us to pick from but all we found is this. So there's no bodies buried in all this snow?

The fox sniffs the air and goes, we've already looked. Of course you have, you're so clever. The fox takes you over to an area in the snow that it's already dug in, digs through the dirt and pulls out a thick coat, like something that would maybe be worn as like armor, like leather armor and pulls it from the snow. We thought we might find bodies, but instead we just found a lot of this.

God, have they been absorbed or something? All right, well, thank you very much. I rip off a piece of animal flesh and throw it to play fetch. Yeah, yeah, jumps up, grabs it, grabs the rest of its meat. You see a couple more animals skitter away and retreat to the shadows. Just so you know, I had my scouter on

for that whole interaction. And in general, I'm just gonna be wearing my scouter now. For sure, residue on the coat that was pulled out. The fox did not have any kind of strange reading. You're getting a similar vibe that you got in Flurry Harbor where you're looking around. It's just like, there were mending spells cast here. This was covered up

everyone just disappeared there's no blood there's no anything but there was a battle here is there any way to get a good night's sleep in a fucking trap because it feels like this is just another trap it might not be a trap they might have just taken everyone in this town and marched on towards the ice knife i mean it's a trap that's already been sprung. That might be the safest place. I don't think we could survive a night out in the cold. Yeah. Okay. Then let's try to look around for the most welcoming accommodations. Right on. Yep. You go. The mayor's house. Yeah, can we find the mayor's house? You guys find the mayor's house? Oh, this is so fun.

Let's rule a bunch of decrees. Oh, look. I decreed that everyone in this town is silly. Yeah, you find this house that, it is this like modest cottage, but you do see it has like beautiful oak desk and a bunch of books and stuff, and there's a bunch of records and everything of the town it looks like this oh I throw on a record of my signature on important documents yeah I'm just stamping a prove done everybody wow I approve of you do you know much about these cold breaker people like

what do you think of this, Calder? I haven't been to this town very many times, but every time I came it was lively, it was fun. There was an inn, there was a tavern, it was... they played music here. It was a nice village. Salt drops his rubber stamp. This is just yet another thing she's taken. It was, it was a nice village. Salt drops his rubber stamp. This is just yet another thing she's taken.

We have to do something. We have to stop this. They're onto my village next. And, Callie, they're onto yours after that. I know. But there won't be enough to that. How about that, right? Yeah. We're gonna stop them at Ice Knife. We'll stop them in the Ice Knife. Why don. We're gonna stop them at Ice Knife.

We'll stop them in there. Why don't we just fucking stop them at Ice Knife? Why don't we just stop them here? There's no reason to succumb to fatalistic thinking when we haven't even had a chance. We'll cut them at the knife. Calder grabs the mayor's hat off of a coat rack. That's right.

We'll stop them right here. Indeed, your lordship, indeed. Our last stand. Man, this hat is huge. Hold on, let me put it on. The hat's running away. One last night of fun. Take it while we can get it. That was sweet.

There is a fireplace here again. This town is weirdly undisturbed. So you just use this house as it was intended. You guys take turns keeping guard. Yeah, I think I trance at the window and let my breath sort of like fog it up. Kelly, you trance near the window. Outside you see the wind rattle the open doors and windows of this ghost town, and out in the distance there are endless fields of snow, just bright white snow lit up by the moonlight,

and up in the sky amongst a sea of stars. You can just make out the little glimpse of an emerald green planar rift, the final destination of Alexandrate, her gate to the Feywild. It is closed for now, but the only thing she needs to open it lies under the village of the Ice Knife, a day's ride away where your paths are sure to converge. And that's where we'll end our session. Ooh. Ooh.

No way, no way. Cut the knife. We shall see. Yeah. Man, you guys conquered those nature checks. We'll see how the next day goes, but hitting a 30, not easy. Yeah, a lot of health, a lot of health.

Yeah, man, we love the cold. Yeah. And with that. I'll need to roll three times to get it. Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Sure, you know what? I'll plug a video game I'm playing. I'm playing Citizen Sleeper.

It's a cool game. If you like Rollin' Dice, this game fucking rocks for that. Hell yeah. Rollin' Dice every damn day. Go check it out. It's a little visual novel. You play as a sad robot on a space station,

trying to make money. Cute. Cute. Very cool. Actually, you know what? Did I plug our Patreon? I don't think I did. Patreon.com slash NatPod. You play as a sad robot on a space station trying to make money cute Actually, you know what did I plug our patreon? I don't think I did we have patreon.com slash napod I'm any dd po d don't sing yet. Don't do it You can also subscribe to our Apple plus if you'd rather listen to the short rest on Apple podcast Oh, yeah, it's all right there. It's all right there That's what you prefer and you can follow us on social media there We may or may not use at ads use smirks me.

I call these called while Addy Extras Emily and Addy Records is Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. Alas, my friends, the end of the show has come once more. But fear not, there is one last thing to do.

We must read out the Benevolent Council of Elders. Here we go. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Hugh C. Lader McSkader. Matt M. Cutter W. Feared Al. Jeff C. Daniel G. Danielle The Dastardly Dame, Beard Mann, Dan, Danny P, Brian J, Vincent W,, Trey Le, The Cray, Christopher B, Damiel R, Jordan L,

Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, Beep Boop, Stevie Wags, R.I.P, Duggan McCann, The Sintar Cowboy, gone but not forgotten, Princess Yar, Jory S, Jack L, Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohemia, now back in action after Union Victory. Samuel B, Mike H, Alka Smeltzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Adam G, Tyler F, Knee Badger, Panama James, Haradrian, Carbureau Chapel Hill FPV, Rex Daniel the White, Deanna De Los Lopez, C.C. Lulou,

Hercule Poirot, CeRabot Folk Detective, Rayco, Calder comes cold, shout out to the cold, come, companions frosty facial, wow, you really went for it. Taylor B, the Vengeful One Winged Angel Cass, Skateboard Cass Stephen is Steepin' Tee on Even Lee, Ya See, See, Mike K, Lady Taco and Team in Cridjulity, Joy Tee, Jake L, Nick W, Agnitty. William W. Big Bad Beardo the Mad.

Ananarama. Percival Fredrickstein von Muselklassowski de Rolo the Third. J. Dragonborn. Dr. Azalea P. Bubblebath. Woohoo. The Sandrayan. Ben A. Dave H. Christian S.

Asel from the Prison of of elders, Dustin S, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Book Far's assistant Izzy F, DPC is awesome! Shown the Shadetree mechanic of Zell Bulldar, Summer Rose, aka Grantair, Katzy, Misa of House in Zunza, Ariel, the occasional mermaid, Selena in Aka Valacey Raptor, B, Perky, Always, B, B, Perky, Always, Pat L, Maxwell J, Lauren H, Nalani, the coffee barista brewing fighter of Linpial and Bohemia, Serve 16, the bone duster, Annie the Feywild Therapist, Christian Inn.

Skillful ferret, insert request here. Ooh, I gotta see Duck Team on their sledge, making their way across the tundra. Thank you very much. Connor S. Salil. Weed Goku 69, aka gunk at 16 experimenting with drugs Lesson gunk as long as you do it at home with us where you're safe. We're totally okay with it. Heck. Give me some drugs Why not? I'm the bad uncle Leviathan bioquirt seven amber dextrous

Sullivan H Trub hop dropper Jack H. King of the mole People Under Iron Deep, wearing Murph's Jack Skellington hoodie. Give it back, Mole folks! Lindsay W. Vailyn, Carl and C. Emily S. Scripps Scripper. Noah the Bullywogboy. Hashtag, release the filthy guppy cut we kinda did. The guppy cut is gunk. James G. Everything Bago, the Eladrin who just wants to hang out

with his pet badger, Stripey. Daddymaster Dandy! Han, the green team. Eric B. Marcos, learned the balance druid. Dakota James P. Frida M. Pagos, self-proclaimed Faye King,

back on their regularly programmed Faye shenaniganaries. Welcome back! Tracy P. The Crick Elf Librarian. Maggie S. C. U. In Chicago. Thanks for coming! Holly H. Lee. Hunter H. Akash T. Andrew. Crick Plainswalker. Getting Cricky with it. Na na na na na hey! Dufinius! Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Yes the whole thing. Yes every time. Cody Care. Keychains Pentium II processor so much power.

Lorelai the succubus and Kyra her busty queen. Matt M. Your friendly neighborhood Yant and Yonkel, Andrew and Sid. John Adams, yes, like the president. Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bahumia. James F. Jimmy A. M4L, Austin S. Wayfarer, who now has to do something with the trolls. To get rid of them, turn to page 42. To keep them, turned to page 69. All right, Shane C.

Barpo Goodbarrel Bardbarian, Welshlander, Garrett G, aka One Big Curd, Mr. D. Dana the Daisy, Ethan B. Havy the Half Orc, Renee the Monster Captain, Box Clifton, Olivia the Enchanting Bard who is working hard on her addition for the lead singer of The Mountain Crows. Yeah!

Winter Slade. Sammy B. Bohemia's finest linguist. Riley S. Fyco. Angry Wheat. Garrett, the Artificer. Anthony, the Raddest of Dudes. Josh H. Abigail H. Caleb L, the fairies who have been partying nonstop to celebrate hashtag CCC, we are hungover and resting and wishing the best of luck to y'all.

Thank you so much, fairies, for not writing a gross message for once. I appreciate it. Ponderful, the Pink Dragon, Scourge of the Bookstore, Horder of Joke Books, Cantrip Dumbledore, the Bear Onesie-Wearing Barbarian, Lexie H., MJ, the BFG, Cam, the Frogman, Artavius Crass, Geno T., Mama Belle, the Silver Serpent Herself, Derek D., Tristanistan the Talentless Hunk Leon K. Legendary Hero Abhumia from a Future Campaign BTA Workshop Shenanigans O'Connor Mios the Great Alex K. Joshua S. Alexander

Linz W. Angel of Pamela the Forever Vindicated Emma S. Red the Reforged Warforged Goat T token fintan! Tim's 69th simulacrum, reporting from the future, ready to destroy the world of Aurelion. Oh no! Don't destroy it! Oh no!

Well, maybe do it. Whatever. It's up to you. A cat napping in a sunbeam, listening to a podcast. Nyhax, nasty nut. Wow, the surprises keep coming. Shelby, Kina's second favorite sprite girl, collabing with Squeam to ghostrite Figgs

sophomore year album. Jackson R. T3RHX official Ned Flanders. Blake H. searching for a sweet blue hoe with his bestie bigbeb. Papa Skattays, Mima Skattays, oh it's V. Tommy W, Mike and Lisa sending love to all y'all. Haley the Human, Megan N, The Big M, Balanor's best friend, Steve! Stephanie of House in Zunsa! Jake's Ramen Shop, Rip Melchior the Brave Leonin Warrior, who even cares about the rest

of the party, not me that's for sure. Karjish, Benjamin A! Sacrificial Otaku, pin name for Callie's cousin, who discovered anime and is trying to spread the word all over Bahumia! Jiggy Merlino, Mell A, Angie A, Josh Hole, two mid-sized robot yaks unrelated to the five-yak zords. Frokey, Maple, the shy bookworm. Ashley, Seth E, Billy Batson,

Tori, the blind bisexual dragoose, sock monkey Bob, lovers call me Adel, foeses call me Weiss the party calls me Adel Weiss What does that imply? Michael Lyle Sproul the second Cobbers bobbers the goblin bobbin goblin Nova cry hilda thunder heart the human barbarian parcel dex riddle well and Hanna a Dex, Riddlewell, and Hannah A. Whew, and that is all of our Elders. Thank you so so much for listening and for supporting us.

If you would like to join this illustrious council or just support us on Patreon and get access to some bonus stuff, you can do so by going to patreon.com. That's gonna be it for us, we will see you here next week. Thanks again, farewell, bye bye.