Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 61: The Wild Ones (A Faerie Tale Ending)

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

Duck Team parties with the frost giants, then heads off to another world! Calder gets a hero's razzing, Sol goes galactic, and Callie takes a big gamble. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford."Greenshade" by Emily Axford."Escape From Smuggler's Bounty" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford."I Need to Know You're Taken Care Of" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."Home is Where the Hearth Is" by Emily Axford."Cable Car Ride" by Emily Axford."Corrupted" by Emily Axford."Mothership" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Lucanus Aer'Tea" by Emily Axford."The University" by Emily Axford."Gladeholm" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."The Feywild" by Emily Axford."Broken Heart Banshee" by Emily Axford."Akarot's Letter" by Emily Axford."Tower in the Distance" by Emily Axford."Akarot" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the Campaign After the Campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everybody! Bahumia! I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz Embracing fate, stepping through the gate Calder, kill, dead Yeah

Break down the gate And welcome back to the 2dio, Jake Hurwitz Yeah, it's good to be you We're all here in the flesh He's crazy You're so much bigger than just a tiny iPad. But not much. I thought you were iPad sized.

I'm at least as big as a laptop. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like this because normally when the iPad is here, we'll stand behind it and we'll dance as if we're like, you know, we're dancing with you. Or we're like, you know, putting stuff in your ears and stuff like that.

You know, like give like middle fingers behind it. Yeah, that's true. It's hard to fuck with me while I'm here, right? We flip you off a lot. I bet you guys will leave me alone today. Well, we're physically scared of you now that you're here. And I'm huge. Oh, fuck, Flesh Jake's here.

He's so fucking big. Dude looks like an iMac, I swear to God. I guess not everyone knows that we have Robo Jake sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, Robo Jake sometimes we got a little iPad head We really should put a t-shirt on it. Oh I'm gonna choose a t-shirt you would hate. Oh my god like an arsenal t-shirt. Yeah I think I think Jasper gave me an arsenal Jersey. I can put on it. I can't believe you still have it. gave me an arsenal jersey I can put on it. I can't believe you still have it.

Rue, oh. And then of course we've got Emily Axford. Ready to see some pixies and gnomes cause Saira, I'm coming home. Aw. Calliope Petrachor. Yes. Very cute rhyme.

Very sweet. And then of course we've got, with an equally cute and sweet and yet poignant rhyme called El Tanner. It's gonna be two of those. Tea-fueled frog whose skin is warty found my boy Albin and now we're gonna porty. Porty.

Porty. Porty. Porty. Porty. Porty. Porty. All right, let's go ahead. That's how they say it in the frozen north.

Let's get the porty started. Let's do a little recap. So last time you battled Alexandrite after she was injured by a viral smite from Gowan using the ice knife. Calder's brother was quickly disarmed and incapacitated, but Saul grabbed the relic and tossed it to Kali, who then had her mind scrambled by one of Alexandrite's eye beams, causing her to forget how to use magic items and to forget a bunch of other stuff that wasn't in the rulebook. Things got worse as the AI avatar used her telekinetic powers to summon the mothership

submersible out of the lake near the village, causing zombies to pour into the town square. As the villagers and rangers were overwhelmed, you took the fight to Alexandrite and a smite from Calder caused her to malfunction and shift forms into a giant scorpion. Meanwhile, the fight in the village took a turn for the worse after a natural one was rolled on their contested check against the zombies. That's my bad. That's Robo-Jake's bad. You're here now though. I'm cool. Flesh Jake did nothing wrong.

Yeah, let's just for some differentiation, instead of saying Robo-Jake, this is Flesh Jake would never. Flesh Jake did nothing wrong. Ever. Yeah, let's just for some differentiation, instead of saying Robo Jake, this is Flesh Jake. Yeah, so it's Jake and Flesh Jake. There's Jake and Flesh Jake. That's cool. As the village burned below, Saul shot off a flare to let the people know they were still fighting

and caught the silhouette of Garrosh in the sky. The cloud giant sent a message to Calder that he would be able to help if the gate to the Feywild were open. The next rounds would see earthquakes, avalanches, and Alexandrite expanding to an all-consuming monster. Sol and Kenna had to claw their way out of being buried in the snow, while Caldy and Calder were forced to rely on their mounts to navigate the rapidly deteriorating terrain. Just as things were looking grim for the village, Calder was able to use the ice

knife and shard to crack the rift of the Feywild, restoring Kali's magic and a bit of wild luck as she dealt massive blows to Alexandrite. On his next turn, Calder would say the magic words, break down the gate and fully open the planar rift, empowering Garrosh to summon a great wind and with it, help from Albin and the allies he'd gathered in Frostwind. The battle shifted in your favor, but tragedy struck as Licorice was taken out from under Calder. As it seemed our injured Frost giant friend would plummet to his death, Kali hit him with a well-timed featherfall.

In response, the AI attempted to wrap Calian wires and consume her, but a clutch silvery barbs from Saul caused her to miss, and Cali's next turn she torpedoed at the mechanical monster atop Honeysuckle and was able to blast through her, reducing her to a weakened form. The four of you stood over Alexandrite as she pleaded to spare her knowledge of potential, but Kali handed Saul the ice knife and allowed him the finishing blow. Saul kept us all guessing with a spinning attack that finished her off. Her head rolled from her body where she left you with the ominous words,

they may not hear me anymore, but they still know their mission. Saul and Kenna then double-bagged the head and threw it in your pack as Albin arrived via flying a broom and offered you rides to the village. Calder O'Oak Gowan ensured a guarded yet tender moment with him as Kenna dragged him onto Honeysuckle to follow you guys to the town. Together you joined the villagers and rallied to push back the remaining zombies. town. Together you joined the villagers and rallied to push back the remaining zombies. Garrosh called one more mighty wind to destroy the floating mothership submersible, clutching victory for the townsfolk. You all celebrated in the

streets as Kali sang a fey folk song and that's where we are now. PORTY! We're still partying right? PORTY! PORTY! Yeah let's party! So all this rugby drunk. Oh shit! Already?

Yeah. It was so fast. Yeah, Gregor comes over and just pours a keg into your mouth, not taking your size into consideration. Oh no. Dude, dude! Drink! Drink! Oh shit! Oh fuck! Are you okay, dude? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Are you alright?

Oop! You good? I got it! He got it! He got it! PORTY! PORTY! PORTY! PORTY! He got it! Party! Party!

Party! I swish my big belly around. Now it's full of a whole barrel of beer. You see Albin had just passed out from the haste next to you, but wakes up and goes, yes, let's all party. And then just starts slapping your belly and making a jiggle with all the beer. I burp like a baby.

Don't smell it. Albin vomits. It's just a complete mess instantly. You see shop owners and grocers open the doors of their stores and shovel kegs of ale and fresh food onto the street as an impromptu party breaks out. You see, you had seen Mira and Yurg,

they had given you like a little head nod as they saw you on the battlefield, but they walk over to you guys, Mira comes over and gives you a big hug, called her... Mom. My giant heart. That's me. You are everything that was promised and more. Love you, Mom.

Love you. She gives you a big kiss and Yurg comes over. Hey, you did alright. Yeah, alright. You brought it good? You brought it good? Yeah. They're alright. Yeah, they're all good. Almost every day. Yeah, you did alright. Yeah, alright. Yeah, yeah. You brought it good? You brought it good? Yeah.

Yeah, they're alright. Yeah, they're all good. Almost every hour. Yeah, everybody's good. Everybody's good, Dad. It reminds me always to sleepovers inside. Inside, Dad. Camping inside.

Camping inside, Dad. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, Derek. Wipes a tear away. You guys see, yeah, there were dwarves of Frostwind that came and helped. So you see there were dwarves of frostwind that came and helped so you see Giants and dwarves

Embracing some of them know each other from all being from the frigid north So you see a lot of people being welcome to this party you also see some old friends from Mob Goblin You see dark the hobgoblin Pops out sees you guys shoots you the finger gun Down his ponytail goes here. you guys are having a party I'd say beer me but around this guy points to salt or like cake Are you okay by the way I can't feel my feet so hold my goatee hold my goatee You see yeah, Darg starts chugging beers with you guys you guys also see your less enthusiastic ally

Grim with his shaved head just calmly nurses a drink. I'm glad there weren't too many casualties drink I'm glad there weren't too many casualties Have you met Calder? And I walk away And goes of course I've met Calder hey hey Calder pretty pretty nice party huh Calder starts making a comfortable small talk. Did you say party? Well we've been saying... Porty. Porty. Yeah okay it had to do with the rhyme that I guess you missed earlier yeah no it's kind of like although we got here yeah yeah we got to the virgin north couple of days ago. Did you see their grilling

dogs over there? I might grab a dog really yeah, I go get a little Is it like always cold here or uh yeah, it's always chilly what's uh yeah? How's the weather where you guys are? Esri yeah the bubble oh yeah, well the bubble was down for a while, so it's kind of Warm it's gonna be about saw It's going to be about... Saw! Saw! Sorry, man. Alvin is in trouble. I'll hold his goatee.

I'll just... You would have it right. As giants who used to bully you as a child start to make moves to come over to apologize to you, see you talking to Graham and then walk away. Wait, bullies, come back! But you see as the party is really kicking off, Kenna and Gowan arrive in the town square on Honeysuckle's back.

Again, this is all descended into madness very quickly. They're a little slower on Honeysuckle, you guys flew in. You see Gowan looks to be getting some of his strength back, but he still looks pale and fragile. You see Kenna tries to help him up, but he waves her off and then grabs a mug from one of the nearby like brewers and starts banging on a mug of ale to get people's attention. People of the Ice Knife! People have the ice knife! And you see there's sort of a respectful quiet as people kind of look surprised and look over at Galen.

I use this time to shuffle away from Grim. Grim, for as much as he doesn't like you, looks like he also doesn't have a lot of other close friends, so has weirdly glommed onto you. Good lord. Calder, I saved you two a seat. Thank you. You're really drunk, but you have the wherewithal to do that. That's awesome.

Yeah, you see people look up at a Gowan. Gowan stands up on a stoop on one of the stores here, looks out over everyone and he goes, your resilience, your bravery has triumphed this day. You have protected your home, but we could not have done it without the help of our friends and allies. And you see he gestures out towards the Goblins of Vezry, the Dwarves of Frostwind, the Orcs

of the Frozen Fist, and he looks over at you guys, Calder, Saul, and Kali. Big cheers go up. People start patting you guys on the shoulders or patting each other. Gawain continues and goes, we are in debt to our friends. I most of all am in debt to you. I have been so singularly focused on my own job and reputation that I have put others at risk, others who were there for me in my time of need." He glances over at you guys and then looks down. "'Frankly, it is clear that I am not ready to lead.

I need time to see more of the world first. I am announcing my resignation as Ranger General effective immediately.'" And you hear gasps and murmurs amongst the crowd I yeah I gasp and murmur after a bit of murmuring, Gowan continues and goes, As my replacement, I nominate my brother Gregor. And you hear confused murmurs. That's a little confusing, right? I don't know if that makes sense. He's a great guy, but I don't know if he's got leadership chops.

He's a good soldier, but he's a good leader. I look at my brother Gregor, and I say, you know, you can always trust Gowan to do the right thing. Okay. Yeah, Gregor kind of puts his finger on his chin and goes, I wouldn't trust me to be the leader, but if Gowan thinks it's a good idea. Can I do like a general, let me put on my scouter. Yeah. And kind of just do like a general like, this isn't lingering Alexander.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. Causing him to make poor decisions. Hmm. I'll give you guidance. Saul gives you a big sip from a giant boot full of beer he found. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, there's a shoelace in there.

Seventeen. You look and there's nothing on Gawain that suggests Alexandrite. In fact, you see like dead zombies and stuff nearby, like these dead Alexandrite avatars, and they don't even have Alexandrite on them. Like the network here has been like shut down. We're offline. Offline. Okay.

And you see as people kind of murmur with like a little bit of doubt. Gawain goes, when allies came to our village, gestures to you guys, who went out to meet them to embrace their help? When the machines burns down Ingrid's house, who ran in to look for her? Gregor. I start trying to lead. Yeah, you see, a few people are like,

Gregor was in there, Gregor did do that. Kaliope's kind of surrendered to the gossip though, so she's fanning the flames of bad gossip. Sorry, it's like so easy to fall back on this bad habit. And Gawain takes on a sort of proud look as he looks over at Gregor and goes, and who led you here tonight? Because it was not me.

And you see the other Rangers start banging their battle axes on the ground. You hear somebody shout out, I second the nomination. Wow. I, I fern it. Yeah. Fourth.

Albin, Albin say fifth. I think we're not technically allowed to fern. Fifth. I was gonna say fifth. Fifth. Don't make me say sixth. You still got Albin say fifth. I think we're not technically allowed to vote. Fifth. I was gonna say fifth. Don't make me say sixth. You still got a little haste, he's quick. Sixth, I was gonna. You still haven't said thank you

for me showing up with the brooms. You have so much vomit in your goatee. Yeah, I know. I'm cleaning it as fast as I can. If you're this prone to up chucks, maybe you don't grow a goatee. It'd actually be worse without it, trust me. Okay, okay.

You see Albin looks furious. Goes and sits in the corner. Dude, she didn't mean it. Yeah, everybody around begins shouting up for Gregor and Gowon goes, let's hear it for the new ranger general. Woo! Woo! Yeah, you hear cheers go up and Gregor looks

a little bit sheepish, but stands up and goes, thank you, thank you Gawain, hit you, love you, whatever. I also want to say, give a little shout out to our little, I mean, younger brother. A lot of you used to make fun of him for his size. Not me, but a lot of you. You called him Smallder Kilday. Don't remind them. Okay, this is actually worse.

You called him Calder Lilday. Okay, that's actually adorable. We called him Calder Lilday. Okay, that's actually adorable. He's building to something, clearly. Right, but it was he and his friends who saved Gawain and brought the reinforcements. So I ask you, who is Small? Not him. No. Okay.

From this day forward, that is not his nickname. You might not see him coming, but Calder Kilday is deadly. That is why he shall henceforth be known as Giant Fart. Mira just goes, oh god, Gregor. During that entire speech, Calder was striding forward confidently, ready to take the stoop. You're awkward. Caliabee was planning to do a prestidigitation to put a spotlight on you, and as soon as he said giant fart, it didn't register to put a spotlight on you.

This is the spotlight on Calder. You're just awkward clapping, and a couple people come over and go. Oh shit, I'm having a hard time turning off the prestidigitation. I stopped dead out of awkward fear, and my boot makes a fart noise on the ground. You can't fall.

That was me. Shit, I was like, I can't get the spotlight to go away. Turn it off, Kelly. As you go to get out of the spotlight, you creak your chair and it makes another loud farting noise. He's following you, I'm sorry, I'm don't know. That was my boot in the seat. Turn the spotlight off.

Do you have silence? You see Graham stands up, that was me, I farted. Now it really looks like I farted. You had to cover for me. Graham with my-as-do charisma is gonna make a performance check for everyone to cover for you. That's a 15! A few people are just like, okay, yeah. Pigs, Graham, you're a friend. And I also farted.

Yes, because there were two noises. One was the shoe, one was the chair. But they were both actually farts from Graham and Goliath Beeper. Please turn this light off. It's just a really sticky cantrip. I can't get it to go away. You see Yurg leans in, hey, kids, probably better if you stop talking about farting so much.

I'm just, at this point, better if you stop talking about farting so much. At this point we just stop talking about it. It's all actually farts. And you get away with it. He just smiles to himself. It comes out as a bubble. Yeah, so just awkward kind of celebration. And then Gregor throws up the double horns.

Let's fucking party! Aye, aye. Who wants to play flip cake against the ranger general? I do! Me, me, me! You see one of the shop owners tears the door off their own store and creates an impromptu table in the middle of the street. Gregor gets on one side. All right, all right.

I'll take mom, dad, us three versus you three. Gowan, I think you're way too sick. No, Gowan's in. Graham, you're in. Four on four. I'm gonna enlarge myself for this. Okay, sweet. Gally gets huge.

Gowan goes with it. Oh, sorry, did you not choose me for your team? Ha, ha, ha! And I get huge. So you guys get huge, and you see Kenna goes. So you guys get huge, and you see, Kenna goes next to you guys and goes, I could do like a keg of root beer or something

if you guys want. Yes. Or I could play. You see, Albin wipes a bunch of vomit off of his goatee. I think you should go to bed. Really, it's just been a while. I really respect the hustle out there, man. Really?

Yeah, you are putting in the hours, you're putting in the effort. Do you remember when we were, like, the four of us were like kind of a thing? I feel like Tomorrow You is going to be so appreciative if today you ghost to bed. I can't wait to hang out with Tomorrow You. I whisper, we relieving tonight. You see, Kenna hands Albin like some paper towels and goes for your goatee. Wait a second, wait a second, I can fix this. Oh Albin, actually I might have a way that you could still play with us. All right. I'm gonna use Lay on Hands and give him five hit points

to get rid of disease. All right. You're his haste hangover. I'm as good as new, baby. My voice back. All right, I'm back. Let's go, let's go, Chanters. Let's go, Chanters.

Chanters, Chanters. Callie, can you make him sick again? I've never tried it the other way around. You see, he kind of leans in and goes, I think he needs this much more than I do. OK, Kenno, do you want to go to bed? It's been a long day. Not at all.

I'm going to go eat candy and party. OK, OK. Yeah, you see, she runs over and just starts playing with some other people in her age. Giant lollipop. A giant lollipop. A teenager. That looks really fun. I Just a giant lollipop. A teenager. That looks really fun.

I grab a giant lollipop too. What the heck? All right, so here's how this is going to work. You guys line up. You see four kegs of ale are placed in front of you. Gregor assures you, don't worry, we got some non-alcoholic stuff. So it's 0.5%, so for you guys,

it'll just be like you drank seven or eight beers. Oh, perfect. Yeah, great, great. So here's how it works. There is an element of this that feels like actual flip cup. You roll a D20 con save to down the keg. If you fail, it doesn't matter. You just roll again. So keep rolling until you get that magic number.

Once you get the correct roll, you have downed your keg. You then have to flip it. You can do that by getting a DC 20 strength or sleight of hand check. Once you flip your keg, the next person in line goes, whichever line finishes first wins. It is you guys and Albin versus the Killday family. You see Gowan does look ill, does look like he's going to be rolling con saving throws with disadvantage. So he'll go at the end of the line. They're gonna put him at the end.

I want to try to get into Yerg's head. Okay. Yeah, you enlarge yourself and I'll say you and Yerg are kicking it off. Nice. I've been drinking to do my neighbors. Yeah, don't you think this is sort of a young man's game now? Mmm. Nah. Did he get in your head? He's impenetrable did he get in your head?

He's impenetrable. He's in my head. Albin, this is gonna be so good. It's gonna be like all those parties we watch through the window. All right, yes, right on. All right, I'm gonna be, I'll be the anchor. Okay, I'll go with you.

Really? Really, do you have enhanceability? Yes. Baby, give yourself advantage on strength or constitution. I've got advantage on strength because I've enlarged myself. Alright, I'll give myself... Yeah, you see, Albin cast a spell on himself, starts to look a little bit buffer. Looks weirdly buff.

Yeah, whoa. Did your goatee shrink? Did I do that? My head stayed the same size, but my body got way bigger. It looks a little weird on me. Yeah, the goatee and the chin are exactly the same size. It's like a jacket made of flesh. See, Gregor just muttered himself, fucking magic, fucking bullshit.

All right, Jörg, bottoms up. Okay, so what order are we going in? Callie, Saul, Calder, Albin. Yeah. Okay, everybody ready? So Yurg and Callie are the first ones to go. We are going to start rolling. Kaliope is going to take her ice dagger

and gut the keg like a fish and pour it over her head. Oh my God, hell yeah. Okay, so Callie goes to like shotgun the keg as a giant eladrin. You see Yurg scrambles to do the same. Okay, so so Callie goes to like shotgun the keg as a giant Eladrin you see Yurg scrambles to do the same. Yeah, that's right We're gonna start rolling in three two one start rolling. Yurg goes for it. Yurg does not I got it, I got it! Yurg also gets it. Yurg is trying to flip it over. Yurg flips it over that goes to Mira. Mira starts chugging

Oh I got it, I got it! Mira starts chugging. She has not gotten it yet. Okay, Mira gets it, I got it. Mira starts chugging. She has not gotten it yet. Okay, Mira gets it. Mira downs it. Mira starts trying to flip it. I got it, I got it. Mira flipped it on the first try. That goes on to Gregor.

Gregor does not slam it. Gregor manages to slam it. Okay. Albin. Okay, we are down to the anchors. I'm gonna pause this for a second because I did not realize that it's NPC versus NPC right now. So I'm gonna let one of you guys roll for Albin, okay?

So Gregor just downed his and flipped his. Mira and Yurk have also gotten theirs. It is Gawain's turn. Gawain has good stats, but he's rolling with disadvantage because he's sick. Albin is not built for this. He has a plus zero to this. He needs to get a nat 20 on both.

So you're telling me that you had Kenna opt out of this to fucking thrust Alvin on us. I've got this, I've got this, I'm due. I'm due for a win. Okay. Who wants to roll for Alvin? He rolls with advantage, you have to hit a nat 20. Emily rolls for a well-timed nat 20s, I think, than us.

I think you roll the best overall, though. Yeah, go up against your brother again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right, the anchors are going. Ready, set, go. Come on, Albie, that's a nat 20. Nat 20! Oh my God!

Albie, that's a nat 20! Oh my God, what the fuck? Albie! Chantor's rule! Chantor's rule! Chantor! You're damn right you stepped down! You're no Ranger,! Get out of here!

Get out of here! Enchanter-chanters are the best in the sky! Kelly, what did you give him? Enchanter-chanters, we are on the field! We will never yield! Alvin after shrugging the keg gets in Gowen's face You see Gowen gets pissed off

and then Gregor gets protective and punches Albin in the stomach WHAAAA Whoa I punch him back Hey that was too far! That was too far! I just splits in the air and kick him both Come get your dude! Albin!

Come get your dude! Gowan was really sick Gowan was really sick Yeah well I'm sicker, alright? Anyone fucking see that? I downed it and won. Do you see that? I downed it and won.

This wizard made that beard disappear. I'm a goddamn anchor. Okay. I'm the anchor. Sometimes we show our true character in success. Just remember that. Am I Ron Burgundy? Cause I'm the anchor, man. Wow.

Oh man. Your goatee is glowing. Gregor laughs at that. Dude actually rules. Is there anything else you guys want to do that night as yes, immediately it gets very sloppy. You see that Mira and Yurik start making out. Wow. What?

Nothing. That's us. Just over the pants please. Hey. All right. Wow. What? Nothing. That's us. Just over the pants, please. I guess I would love to try and track down Foldar if I can. Oh, yeah. Right on.

I'm going to use purity of body on myself to expel all the alcohol. Right on. You are instantly sober and you see Albin is hanging onto you, we fucking rule Frogpal. We absolutely showed him. We fucking rocked this town man. We rocked this town. We're legends.

And you're pretty much just carrying this dude along with you. I just like, I give him a piggyback. Yeah, he passes out again. But now he's super buff, so you have to carry him. He's way heavier. Great. Sol, you go through the crowd, and you see Foldar, this Frost Orc, big blue beard, is drinking and hanging out

with some of the giants here. You also see V-Tech, the rookie, the one who was helping out. Calder is there, you see Fuldar's kind of like slapping him on the back like a for like a good job and you see Fuldar clocks you and goes, oh good to see you again, my friend. Hey, yeah, bring it in. Yes, good to see you. Hug his shin. He pats you on the head. Good to see you again. We knew that this village was in danger thanks to your friend the other frog. Oh of course yeah well that's actually what I came to ask you about. I saw

a vision of him I guess. The spirit that was helping us also told me that I should talk to you. Ah you see Fuldar looks around at the raucous party and goes, best we go somewhere a little private. Pulls you over on the side of one of the taverns. Sure. I prop Albin up in a rocking chair. Albin, people instantly start drawing on his face. I'm one of them.

You see, Kenna is drawing on his face. I'm doing a beautiful water color dick. That's prestidigitation, right? It's gonna come off? We'll find out tomorrow. Saul, you go over with Foldar Wall. This is happening to Albin. Great. And Foldar goes, I do not want to ruin the celebration, but I will give it to you straight. I am sorry to say, but he did not make it. He refused our help because he did not want to hurt anybody, and he made his way to a nearby lake. If it is any comfort when we found him,

he looked peaceful. I see. But before he left, he gave me this, said you could reach out to him in times of need. You see, he reaches into his pocket and he pulls out a vial of spores and he hands it to you and as it touches your skin you instantly essentially cast like an identify spell on it because you have this connection to swag that you solidified when you guys meditated together in the iron deep mines

and you feel an understanding of this item this is a divination spell that you can use when you have time to cast it as a ritual. It absorbs the spores, but you can create more, but it requires a little bit of work for you. We'll deal with that later. But the divination spell, let me read what that is. You are put in contact with a god or a god's servants. You ask a single question concerning a specific goal, event, or activity to occur within seven days.

The DM offers a truthful reply. The reply might be a short phrase, a cryptic rhyme, or an omen. So you can get clues from Swag as he has connected to the afterlife, essentially like connected to nature and connected to the wild. Can I take just like a little whiff of it? Yeah, I know that swag was a wanderer and wanted to keep journeying. And I feel like he's still out there wandering somewhere even in even in a world beyond our own. And I just want to like take a whiff to see if I can like, just give him a nod.

Saul, as you take in some of the spores, you feel around you, obviously it was like, it's frigid out, now they've got like fires and stuff outside. So like you have to like be standing pretty close to these like fire pits and everything that they have out and when full dark kind of takes you over to the side You guys are kind of away from the fires and stuff. So it was it was getting really cold. But as you Take one of these spores or like even just like put your nose up to it. You feel

like warm dank air surrounding you and and you blink. When you open your eyes, you see that you are standing in the middle of an endless lake on a lily pad. It is night. You hear the sounds of like far off crickets and frogs. You see the sky is full of stars that begin to collect until you see an image of swag up there. You feel in this moment a rush of memories

through you of sharing this past with swag of you guys, not just being, you know, it's not exactly father and son to a certain extent, you guys are, are the same, you guys are one. So you feel this connection to him where it feels like you're sharing memories again. And you sense that he's able to take comfort in some of the things that you got when you were younger like getting to meet these guys and having close friends and you're getting to have some of the things that he had when he was younger like having a family and a home when he was younger and it's not just the past you feel a sharing in the present and you have this purpose and he feels this bigger purpose now and I think

you in this moment feel a connection to him and his connection to a greater network now this gift that you've given him and Maybe even something that he's learned by being part of Alexandrite's network. He's essentially like reverse corrupted it and become a part of Alexandrite's network. He's essentially like reverse corrupted it and become a part of nature. And you get the sense that if you were to use the full aspect of this item that you could commune with swag.

But in this moment, you see he reaches a handout, this enormous finger of star fire and space reaches out to greet you. I reach out my finger as well, but at the last minute, I awkwardly shake it. As you shake Swag's gigantic finger, you hear him go, up, up, up, up. It's sorry about that. I'll just kind of just touch. That's what the original Sistine Chapel was.

Oh, were you going for her? And as you two connect, you feel the stars flow through your body and you begin glowing and your skin almost becomes translucent as you feel more connected to the nature around you and this power and you now feel like you could create more of these spores and access a level of divination. And you appear back in front of Fuldar. You okay man? You went somewhere for a second. Yeah, just um, I had a whole keg of Molson's earlier.

Oh, right, yeah. Saul clutches the vial and just thinks, I'm glad I met you and I'm glad your adventure isn't over. Thanks, swag. You feel a comfort... ...as if somebody just said that to you? Hmm. Oh, Alvin's falling out of the chair.

Oh, gosh, he's over. Uuuh! Saul, you've abandoned me. No! You've abandoned me. You were my first friend! The fuck is your problem, man? He's...

Alvin's at the point where he's getting dramatic let's get you I gotta what is everyone's problem now let's get you home I gotta get a problem with me you know there hasn't said shit called there hasn't said shit about the brooms oh now you're here now you're here yeah yeah okay told me that you shit yourself. That's true. His brother almost died, man. Got him some slacks. All right, yeah.

I'm gonna go to bed. I'll see everyone tomorrow. Does anyone have anything else they'd like to do at the party? I think I, I think Calder knows that this is the, you know, it's the last time that he's gonna be home for a while, he's going out into the Feywild and he's been back, but has had this threat hanging over his head. So I think he's just going to get absolutely plastered with his brothers.

Hell yeah. Yeah. You see Gowan as you guys are drinking and having fun throughout the night. And there are like clerics like tending to people and all of that, and Gawain's healed up so he starts to look more like himself. And you see this burden is lifted from him. Now that he has stepped down and gotten out of this terrible situation, seems to be much more at ease and is very effusive and thankful to you. They called her again. I can't thank you enough. I'm sorry, man. I fucked up. Man, Gregor Gowd is trashed. Dude. Yeah, Gregor just has his hand around both of you guys as you guys all drink through the night.

You guys, you're such fucking idiots. You guys are idiots. You guys are so fucking stupid. Why the fuck did you make me the Ranger General? It's going to be so hard. You are going to be the worst fucking Ranger General. Yeah, fucking right, dude. I'm going to be awesome at it.

I'm going to be fucking awesome. Almost like Gowan was. Oh, he's getting it. Too far, too far, dude. Too far. Too far. You're too far, dude, come on. Well, I do far. I call her hogs, yeah.

What? Yeah, you guys all come together and have a fun night. I guess let me scan the room for someone hot. Scan the room for someone hot? Tell me what you're looking for. Boysfrog's dead, unfortunately. I don't really have a type, it's more about chemistry. So I think I'm not looking for a certain type.

Okay. So just like, like someone that I haven't even interacted with. No history. No history, no strings attached. No past, no future, one sweaty present. No strings attached. You're about to step through a portal into another world. No past, no future, one sweaty present. Okay, Callie, go ahead and give me a perception check

as you scan the party. Okay, I take a big swig of another shotgun keg. Are you wearing your scouter still? Yeah, yeah I do. 21. 21, okay. 20 fun. You look around and you see, you know, you haven't really explored

your relationship with Darg or Grimm. So you do see that you see them around. I want someone completely unattached. No baggage. No context. No context. Okay. You look over and you see a few frost giants. It seems like they're kind of on the fringes of some conversations. You see a dude with like long silver hair, like the sort of skinnier frost giants that is like plucking away at a guitar. I light up my vape, consider him, and then I'm like, no,

he's gonna make me listen to him play Wonderwall. Yeah, so he sounds kind of, in fact, he kind of is like looking over at you and like shaking his head because you just played a good song. I blow a smoke ring into the air at him, but I turn away. You turn away. You mean my brothers walk up, do you know Wonderwall? It's actually Winderwall in D&D. Yeah, I know Winderwall.

Starts playing Winderwall, everyone starts singing Winderwall, D&D. Yeah, I know Winderwall. Starts playing Winderwall. Everyone starts singing Winderwall. And suddenly that guy is very popular. You see sort of a shy frost giant like emo girl like standing on the side and kind of smoking. She's got like long blue hair that's hanging over one of her eyes. That's kind of interesting.

You see a couple members of the Frozen Fist are hanging out, these like frost orcs. You see this one woman that's like pretty buff and like kind of like tatted up and has like long blue hair that's like pulled back with like streaks of white in it that look like snow. okay Clive he takes this all in and I think she wants to be she wants to be in a place that she's like yeah one nice fuck for the road but I think she's got too much on her mind okay so I think she makes eyes at everyone and then retreats. You see, Kenna sits down with Kali at the party, and they play hearts together. And you guys all fall asleep. And the next day, you wake up in the cold.

Luckily, some of the more responsible frost giants know that you guys are visitors, so left the fire burning in the town square and stuff, because you guys wake up freezing. I'll say Albin wakes up near you guys, like on top of a roof. Oh, your vomit is frozen. It's made of vomit icicle from the roof. How did I get up here? It's pretty sick actually. Yeah, literally. Yeah.

Sort of epic behavior though. No. All right. It's the color is epic. I've never seen that color of vomit before. I'm going to go back to the airship. Say bye before you leave. You need breakfast. Yeah. You see, um, a bunch of, uh, goblins and giants are working together to kind of rebuild things here, putting back up shops, repairing stuff, clerics tending to the wounded. And as you guys start to kind of come to and are probably like getting some breakfast,

like you see somebody's out there handing out sandwiches and whatnot. You guys need like a bacon, egg and cheese or? Yeah, I'll take three. And what do you guys want? Can I get, do you guys want? Can I get... Do you guys... Okay, can I do... You can start working on my bacon. I get cheese now.

No, no, it's better if I do the whole thing. Do you guys have rock salt? Rock salt. That's all we got. That's the only kind of salt we use. Do you have any sort of streaky bacon? I'm so hungry. Streaky bacon? What do you mean by that?

Do you do halloumi? Halloumi, yes, yes. Okay, I'll take just a big vat of halloumi. Halloumi, okay, right on. Nice. And I would love a bagel that I can use as an inner tube. Okay. You see this cook goes over, starts making sandwiches for you guys, is making them with

way too much care and taking way too long really spending a long time on Callie's chopping up all of the chives to put them into her sandwich she asked for a loomie all right sorry i need to restart why are the other order i'm sorry i'll throw this out actually do you have anyone you could give this to because i already started this sandwich i'll eat it all right It gives you Callie's original order and then makes everybody else's order. Oh, that looks so good. Can I have it? Just before I bite into it. As you guys are eating, you guys do see Ma Goblin, the stocky blue goblin with tied back black and white hair. She's got a bunch of like magic readers and like tech on her person, but she looks super tired

and like she didn't sleep last night and just has a big mug of coffee with her and goes, yes, good to see you all again. Hey. Hey. Did you pour tea too hard or? Did I pour tea? Oh, like party, that's how you say it. Yeah, I know what you mean.

What we like to say is like, are you portian or are you pouring tea? Because that's what you do after the party when you wake up. I was pouring tea the whole night because I stayed up working. Okay, so you were working. That's essentially what I was trying to ask you. It was a working weekend for Omar Gowdland. What are you working on?

What are you working on? Okay, well, maybe we go have a word in my lab and I can show you? Yeah, I think they're almost done with my bit. You know what, fine, let's just go. All right. You did have Callie's order, so you're okay. Callie's original order. I fueled.

It was delicious. You see, Ma Goblin brings you to one of the airships. It's hovering over the village with a long rope ladder. As you grab on, the crew on the deck activates a lever that pulls the retractable ladder up into the sky. You feel a rush of cold mountain air and the village gets smaller as you reach the deck. You see some familiar faces of some goblins and hobgoblins from Esri. They salute you. They're hard at work sending down supplies into the village, helping

to rebuild it, tracking magic signals with powerful translocator devices. Ma takes you below deck to a control room that she has customized to look like her old underground lab. You see glowing projector screens everywhere. You hear whirring and buzzing of different equipment. Little satellite looking devices rotate in different directions, feeding data into nearby screens that give out magical readouts. Seema goes over to a spherical desk chair that rotates as she interacts with different

interfaces, and as she sits down she begins pulling up multiple projections. Good work last night, but it would seem that while Alexandrite was trying to get her army through the planar gate up here in the north, she was hedging her bets with the southern gate. She's gone to Meringate? Yes. Oh, fuck me. She pulls up a new story, and Kali, you recognise the southern planar gate at Meringate. This one, unlike the one up here, is much smaller, much smaller and more controlled, but it's always opened.

You know- And all you really need to do is palm a couple five dollar bills to a criminal and they'll get you through. Yeah, so Callie, you know, cause you worked there, there are a Aladdin and sea elves that work together and basically control the passage between the two worlds. But here you see as she pulls up these projections, you see images of an attack on Meringate, smoldering buildings, slain guards. The title reads Meringate massacre. Thousands of automatons breach the gate into the Feywild. Oh, no.

So what's left of her? If we killed her, what what got through the gate into the Feywild. Oh no. So what's left of her? If we killed her, what got through the gate? A directive, a mission. Yeah, Callie, you snap back to that last line that you heard from Alexandrite, who said, they can't hear me anymore, but they still know their mission. And you see Ma goes, last night we were attacked by Alexandrite and the mothership Submersible

from Iron Deep with the employees inside of it. But unaccounted for is the Air Yacht from Esri. That must have been what went south to Marengate. The ship itself is too big to traverse a smaller gate like that, but we know that Alexandrite at one point was able to manipulate the shape and form of her machines, so it is possible that these automatons referenced could be the yacht broken down into individual mechanical soldiers. Wow. So so it's like her offspring almost they're like her but they're not.

You hear a voice on the wind go. Yes, Alexandra is dead. Oh sorry. I had a line. Why didn't you come to the party last night? Where were you? Garaash. Were you creepily watching?

Looks hollow eyed and so sick from his huge expenditure of magic. I'm so weak right now. You crashed right after you saved everybody. I literally crashed. That's so sad because it's like a party in your honor, in a way. Because you brought everyone together.

That is so what happens when you host Yes, all the effort into bringing everyone together and then you crash as soon as the put it even hang out with anyone at my own wedding yes You know what we're gonna have just a small dinner to five of us. I would love that yeah, that would be fantastic You're not a finger like to finger, OK? We're cooking. I would definitely appreciate that. It would be great if you could host, though,

because I feel like we could come to your castle in the clouds. We'll bring all the food, though. You're probably going to want to clean a little bit, though. After I summoned the great wind, I just passed out in the mountains for 15 or so hours. Oh, wow. I'm still hurting, but I'm all right.

I'm glad the goats didn't get to you. Yes, but I'm afraid that while Alexandrite is dead, the dream of the Network lives on. Yeah, so are they going after the Crowns then? Yes, I believe so. I have seen the predictions via Ariox's Divination Room. The machines are no longer formally connected. The network is effectively offline. But they still have

numbers and they still have a directive. If they manage to get a Fae Crown, they will essentially be able to revive the network and spread it. Not to mention, once they get a fey crown, one of those automatons is going to put an arm on the head, and the feywild, every item there is bewitched and tricky and charmed, and they'll probably become sort of some despotic ruler of the network to begin with. Yeah, but they're not all connected anymore. Does that mean they're working together, but they're individuals?

Theoretically. All right. Well, maybe we could exploit that. One of them might be the leader. We could maybe, I don't know, try to sow dissent. That's interesting. Yeah, I think once we see their troops, we'll get a better idea of like if there is organization Yeah, or if they're all just pursuing the same directive in the same direction

Yeah, can we see in the photo if like one of them was wearing like a cool cape? Oh yeah, there's one person with a cape and a staff You see in the story. It's mostly of the aftermath and Mark Oblin's going through a cape and staff Zoom in, zoom in of the aftermath and Mark Oblin's going through it, cape and staff, cape and staff. There's none that's just a little bit bigger, has a crown on. A little crown made of iron bolts. Or maybe a really impressive necklace.

Yeah, oh yeah. Not seeing it, not seeing it. Maybe just one's bigger. You see, as you guys mentioned this stuff, not the ridiculous stuff that you said in the past 10 seconds, but the ridiculous stuff that you've said in the past 10 seconds, but some of the smarter things you've said

in the past minute. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Ma points to you, Saul, and goes, we don't really have any experience with this, Saul, but I think you make a good point. If there are indeed automatons that were born of this artificial intelligence but are now disconnected from the network, there is a chance that they are in some ways more human than before? Yeah, because we were sort of like

automatons created by mothership. We were soldiers, trained all the same way, but once we set out separately, we could kind of start making decisions for ourselves. We found our autonomy. Yeah. Clones can go a different way. Okay. Right, well, they're off to a bad start.

Yeah. At the very least, they are not being controlled, at least not as hands-on as before. Yeah, but they are in the Fae, so they have a head start. Yeah, so we should probably get that soon. Yeah. Garrosh nods and goes, I am, as I said, severely depleted from the act of magic yesterday. You look absolutely tuckered out.

Yeah. Well, you didn't have to say that. Uh-huh. Sorry. It's all right. An astute observation. You look absolutely tuckered out. Yeah. Well, you didn't have to say that. Uh-huh. Sorry. It's all right. An astute observation. Apologies, sir.

Quite unnecessary. Do you want a bite of my inner tube? Yes. It takes a bite of your sandwich. Salt doesn't take it off. I will follow in the coming days and reach out to the other giant lords, because there is the other matter of business which is the agreement. Oh yeah! What was the...run it by me again? To destroy the

crowns? Yes! That is our plan. Yes. Well we should be able to get the other giant lords all on board. So do you think since now it seems like this army is going after, I'm assuming, I mean, if they're showing up in the autumn. Yes. So the way so the way just so everyone has like the geography of the Feywild, because you guys know it a little bit better, maybe from campaign one. But if people forget or whatever the way the Feywild is laid out, you can think of it, north, south, east and west, each one is a different season. South, where Marengate is, is autumn.

East is summer. North, where you guys are, like the reflection of the frigid north is actually spring. And then west is winter. Okay. So do you think that they're showing up in autumn they could go for the summer court crown or they could go for the winter court crown? They would theoretically be as close to either one.

Okay, so we don't have a beat on if they're going for Queen Cerilla or Queen Jovier. Well do you know of anywhere in the Spring Court in particular where you might be able to gather some information? I mean, in my time, the Fey Regents moved around. It's not even necessarily true that they're just sitting in their courts. Calli, where is Saira? I don't know where Syrah is. I do think that when we go to the Feywild we should go with some discretion because I think if Syrah finds out about us before we find her, she might

seek us out first and I think we have the best chance of working with her if we kind of outsmart her. Are you suggesting aliases and fake disguises? Yeah, I know I do it everywhere we go, but I really mean it this time. I really do, because I think that, I think we should show up. We don't want Saira finding out about us.

So I think we want to surprise her. I think that sets us up for the best chance. I also think that the people that awakened my mother's divination powers, who work for Queen Jorvir could be looking for us considering they have the power of divination. And I also think that my reputation isn't the best in the Fairwild. When I lived there, I was very different than I am now. I was like very naive, gullible. So I was kind of seen as like an easy mark. Oh, huh.

So I feel like we don't want that energy. Right, yeah. So yeah, so I think aliases. Yeah, play the cards close to the chest. Yes, yeah. In general, the Feywild, absolutely beautiful. But I think like, you don't go there with honesty. I think I want you to start like thinking in riddles

and rhymes and speaking in half truths and quagmires and paradoxes. And if you want something, you don't go directly for it. You go for the thing to the right and then you steal it while they're distracted. So that's sort of, do you think you can occupy that space? No. Calder winks really slowly.

Yeah. Okay. How about this winks really slowly. Yeah. Fuck, okay. How about a stew of fall? I know, I know. Saul thinks about how he solves most of his problems by punching. That's actually great though. Okay, that'll work?

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and enjoy being online. Bye bye! Garrosh goes, the comforting thing about you all being Peregrin is that you are hard to predict to a certain extent. Aureox was an incredibly talented once in a millennia diviner, and even still there were thousands of branching paths that you could have taken. So, Diviners might be able to track people around you, but you are sort of a... There's more possibilities and potentialities clouding our future predictions. We're shrouded. You are shrouded to a certain extent. You are a mystery to Diviners.

Okay. Cool, well I have a long list of aliases we can brainstorm on. Do you have anywhere that you can go in the Feywild in the spring court where you can lay low? I know there's the city of Freespire, but I have to imagine there are members of the court embedded there. There is one place we could go. It's not my favorite, but it's a good place to lay low. So we lived there a couple different times. It's called Vrasel. It's basically like a moving city that criminals go to hide out sort of a-

That sounds so cool. Wait, moving how? Well, it sort of like erratically teleports to a different location every couple days. It's an encrypted city? Essentially, yeah. Oh, a city with a VPN. Yeah, and I don't even know how we ever found it. I know that my mother would do something to try to find it. Oh, divination probably. Can you find it? Is it within like a certain area that we could maybe like find it ourselves? I mean it's in the spring court. I feel like maybe if we went to a town we could try to get a beat on where it's been

recently and then sort of you know get ourselves like an area that it could be. Well speaking of divination, I have some news from last night to share. Okay. Saul pulls out this little vial, almost as if he's inviting them to do drugs. I don't know, man. Oh, Saul, I'm sorry, it's too easy. No, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. No, I will.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me explain. I fill them in on the situation with swag and what these spores are capable of. Oh. So yeah, a parting gift. So maybe we could just ask that. Yeah. Do you want to try it together? I don't know.

I imagine it'd be stronger if we all try. Okay. Yeah. I'll offer a goodbye to swag. Yeah, this can be like a proper send off if that's okay. Okay, lead the way. Cool. Ma Goblin, do you have like a mirror or like a shiny surface we could use to snort these?

Yeah. Actually, I have one. It looks like you're skeptical. I have a mirror, yes. I don't want you to use it, I guess. All right. I think we can just kind of inhale them. I have a mirror, yes. I don't want you to use it, I guess. All right. I think we can just kind of inhale them.

Yeah. You take in the spores and you feel yourselves transport to this swamp, this endless lake. You guys are on a lily pad again. It is once again night. You hear the sounds of crickets and frogs. The sky is full of stars and you see this image of Swag in the sky. Hello, Saul. Hey, bud. You brought friends. Is that okay? I didn't actually ask if that was okay if I brought other people into the vision. Hi, Sw. Hi. Hey man. I feel everything about this and nothing about this.

Wow, you do seem like you're in a really good place. Yeah. What are you doing? You're meditating, aren't you? In a way. Fuck. Yeah. It's like it's the only thing that really got me.

You just gotta put the time in. Yeah, I've done it. Yeah. What, like 10, 15 minutes? It's nothing to ask. It's nothing and yet I will not do it. Yeah and the thing is you can just lay down or you can even think of something if you want to.

It's not just about necessarily clearing your mind. Okay, I'll start tomorrow. I really will. I will start tomorrow. Okay, that's good. I'm gonna start next week because I have a lot going on this week. That's true, yeah.

We're swamped right now. Next week, cold at Goliath. Be stopped meditating on it. Shake on it. Shake on it. I shake my head. Yes. You guys are in this magical realm shaking hands on this lily pad.

You and me. We're holding each other accountable. Mental health is mental wealth. Yes. Yes. We invited you to meditate with me multiple times. We're holding each other accountable. Mental health is mental wealth. Yes. I've invited you to meditate with me multiple times. You hear swag go, and it's sort of like a booming voice that takes over this whole void.

And he goes, I have left Alexandrite's network, but I am part of a bigger one now. I am part of the wild. Wow. I thank you of the wild. Wow. I thank you, Saul, for the lessons you taught me. Without it, I would not have been able to overcome her influence. Ask me any question, and I will do my best to answer. Okay. Um,

we need... Saul, um... You can just kind of tell me what you need. It doesn't necessarily have to be in question form. You're just like so cool and imposing now. I don't know if I need to like... No, no, it's all good. No kneeling.

Alright, great. It didn't count as a question, by the way. That was just a clarification. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eee, eee, no, no. Okay, we're good? Great. So we need to get to Rossell. It's a place in the Feywild.

We want to know where it's stationed right now. You see in the sky, swag nods and then explodes into a bunch of different stars. And then you see lines begin to connect as he makes a constellation that looks like a map of the spring court. Okay, that's a spring court. Can you do one of those puncture drawings? Oh yeah yeah yeah, I'll do that.

Callie, you do one of your star charts and you see one of the stars turns red marking the location of the town. Calli, you see it's going to be a hike, but it's 70, 80, 100 miles from the rift. So it's in the woods and the sort of mountain ruins that is a reflection of where you guys are now. Okay, I can get us there. I know where this is.

I can get us there. All right. Just a quick hike. Yeah, follow you. Yeah. Sweet you blast back to my goblins chip. Whoa, we lost you there. Everybody okay? That was crazy. We're good. We're good. Drugs rule. Great. Yeah, I think we know where we need to go. Yeah, you see Albin was like kind of like working down here kind of just keeping to himself a little bit sheepish based on how much of a maniac he acted like last night. But he walks over to you guys and he goes, you can use the brooms to get up to the planar

rift if you need them when you're ready. But they will stop working once they get far away enough from the source of their power which is this ship Albin you let me use the twilster 7000 your signature broom of course so amazing you were built for the twilster it's a twill a minute Albin nods solemnly. Sorry we didn't offer you any drugs. I had enough. I definitely had enough. I insist that.

Yes, I need to. I'm going on a cleanse, actually. That's awesome, man. Huge for you. All right, well, we'll set up a base of operations here. I don't think it's super advisable for us to bring giant ships into the Feywild, but we'll be in touch once we track down the automatons. And Saul, I'll be able to reach out to you via your shell phone. I know you can only use it a few times, but I can use it as sort of a satellite to locate you.

Oh perfect, yeah we'll give you a ping if we need you. Excellent. Alright, I bring him in for like a real grasping hug. Yeah, Albin brings you in real tight, so I'm glad you are all right, Frogpal. Likewise, Alby. Albin, I know we don't always see eye to eye. Calder walks away.

What the fuck was that? Kaliope holds her hand up for a lo-fi from Calder. Calder dinks it. Calliope, are you going to say bye? You're even worse than him. Hi, who are you? Sal, I don't like your new friends. I'm just kidding.

Albie, I'm going to cast Touch Hands on him again to get rid of his hangover. Thank you Thank you so much for all the help. Thank you for all your help and everything you've done see Calder just goes both ways Next time I see you you have a big bushy beard well Unless I cast a spell on myself. I don't think that's going to happen. It's not for everyone necessarily. Sorry. That was supposed to be sweet. Oh no, it's alright.

You've made this weird. Okay. You mock up and go, don't encourage him. He keeps growing this thing out. Tell him to shave it. By telling him to shave. It's thicker and bigger than my bagel that I've been eating all morning. Alvin, thank you for everything. You're my first friend. You taught me how to love.

Of course. Of course. You're my only friend, Saul. Mark Oblin goes, yes, yes, that is true. Alright. Sweet. So you guys, they let you down from the ship and you guys are back in the village. You guys have these brooms whenever you want. Honey Salko can't fly on his own, but you can summon him later. Licorice was dispersed, so needs to be summoned.

Oh, okay. I'll summon him. Okay. Nice. Licorice appears. Licorice can fly, so you can just straight up fly on Licorice if you'd like. I do prefer to do that, yeah.

We're going on a walk, buddy Actually, you know what? I've been thinking about how I need to go into the fair wild Not broadcasting who I am so As much as it pains me to do I might give myself the most unexpected makeover and become an autumn eladrin. Whoa. Okay expected makeover and become an autumn eladrin. Whoa, okay. Yeah, I think I'm gonna look for like a piece of,

like a leaf that's faded or something like that. If there's any sort of like, or even like an acorn or something like that and sort of use that to become an autumn eladrin. Right on, what do you think that looks like? I think I wanna go for like, what's like a Halloween in Bahamia? I know in Hot Boy Summer I called it Shadowween, but that was like a shadow.

I guess it was Shadowween, yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna look like a, my Autumn Eladrin take is like I'm like a real goth Halloween girl. Okay. So I am gonna keep the broom, cause I'm gonna wear like a witch's hat and like have like a little apron dress and like that has little gourds on it and yeah. Okay, yeah, you see the emo frost giant from last night looks at you from across the town square

as she's helping clean up everything. We've got like half an hour. I think I drive by on the broom and say, I'll be back. Kiss her on the cheek and then speed towards the gate. Yeah, you guys see Mira, Yurg, and Gowan are all helping out around town. Gowan looks like he's happy to be chipping in around town and just helping with his hands instead of having

to delegate things or taking on too much stuff he definitely needs some time away from a leadership position but you see Gregor is already being bombarded by requests there's just a ton of people around him he's like everybody fucking relax okay you you put the fires out with water or something, I don't know. Wow, he tells it straight. It's important to do it. He's coming into his own. That's not wrong. You see, yeah, Mira comes over, and Jurg, they give you a big hug, Calder.

Take care of my giant heart. I suppose you're off on your next big adventure. Yeah, yeah, but it was really great to be home and to see you guys and And I know that This place is in good hands. I'll be back again. I know you will be she gives you a hug and Your brings you in Maybe do some camping outside between the camping inside, you know Maybe do some camping outside between the camp and inside. You know where we're at.

Oh yeah. You see Gregor comes by after sending some Rangers off and goes, Calder, guess you can't stay forever, huh? That's what farts do. They linger for a bit and then they go away. And then they dissipate. That's right. Not your farts.

They stay around too long. Oh my god. Damn. Where has she been? Pretend I said that. They're not your parts, they stay around too long. Oh my god. Where has she been? Pretend I said that. I tipped my witch's hat at him. Wildly out of season for here, but you look sick. It's shadowing somewhere.

Damn. That's what my shirt under my apron dress says. Gregor puts his hair behind his ear. Where were you? This is crazy. Okay. Yeah. Calder, you know, hate you, love you, go fuck yourself, whatever.

Be safe. Don't, I don't care. You know, you actually might not be the worst Ranger general ever. Cool. Like I give a shit what you think, but if I did, I would say thanks. Good luck not fucking it all up. And I won't. Cause I, you know, I I have strong family bonds and stuff to uh you know rely back on like I give a shit. Yeah because you kiss Gowan's ass all the time.

Yeah well Gowan uh you know he makes some mistakes he's a good guy we learn from each other and we learn from each other's mistakes. Fuck you. When he wakes up punch him in the nuts for me tell him I love him. He's just he's over there doing his thing but yeah he's good he's good. Gowan comes over just gives you a big hug But Gregor looks at you guys Kaliope and Saul and goes you too You helped save our village You're part of the family now, so I have to bully you

Understood I Like a knight who's about to be knighted Gregor takes his sword and puts it over a one shoulder calliope goes I W Smoliapie retro crap I tear up with honor and then puts a sword on Saul's shoulder. And you, small bouffard. Damn, that's good.

You are all welcome back at the ice knife. I'm so flattered. I have buttocks nuts. I get into chokehold. Oh, I'm the ranger general right now. You can't do that. Embarrassing. Oh, it's good. It's good for your public image. All right. No, I'm the Ranger General right now, you can't do that. Embarrassing.

That was good, it's good for your public image. All right. Yeah, you see, he starts getting razzed by his Rangers. Come on. Oh, they're having a good time. Yeah, everybody has a nice goodbye with Calder, and then they take off. As we're preparing to head out,

I have something I wanna ask Callie and Calder. Yeah. Do you still have those little black bands I gave you when we were fighting King Durotar? Yeah, yeah, somewhere here, yeah. Cool. Can I borrow them for a second? Yeah, for sure. I just, I had something I wanted to make for all of us.

Since we are kind of like destined knights of Eriox, Peregrin now. I thought it'd be cool if we all wore your symbol, Kali. If that's okay. I would be very honored, yeah, of course. All right, Saul takes the black thread and kind of weaves it into a design he had already made, which is like a snowflake with like, or like, which is like Cally's sigil,

but with like wings blooming off of it. Oh, hell yeah. Snowflake with like winged edges kind of. Yeah, super cool. Yeah, you guys make all these patches, you hand them out. You got four of those bad boys or? Oh, of course, absolutely. I appreciate it, appreciate it.

Thank you, not that a squire is required to have the patch, I earn the patch later. Actually, Mr. Buffon, I would like to earn this patch. What happened, now? You just gotta go fight a dragon real quick. Will do. Okay, almost die, reconsider your life. Happens all the time. Dedicate yourself. Will do. Okay, almost die. Reconsider your life. Happens all the time.

Dedicate yourself. Of course. Alright, you're good. Alright. Sol Hanser, a black band, and then takes it off instantly and sews it into the patch. She takes it and puts it on. Yeah, you guys are left here in the ice knife. Everybody is doing what they can to help the village.

You get this big rift up in the sky. Okay, I give my brothers the finger blow my mom a kiss. Not at my dad. And I looked to these guys. Okay, ready? Let's do it. Yeah, this is a really unromantic time to ask this. But should we buy some potions first? This is a really unromantic time to ask this, but should we buy some potions first? I just feel that we keep going to leave and then not leaving. It's like I'm both filled with excitement and nerves about doing this. And then we just keep starting to do it and stopping to do it.

Let's get going. I'm just feeling like I'm becoming my worst self. You're right, there'll be a shot there. I'm going to have to help myself again. You guys fly up towards the giant rift in the sky. Licorice is flying next to you guys I'll say licorice is flying very slowly trying to carry honeysuckle up after you guys Honeysuckles having so much fun licorice is just panting

You know what I'll cast enlarge on liquor oh there you go Licorice now yeah, hone you go. Now Licorice. Now, yeah. Honeysuckle is riding Licorice through the air. It looks fucking ridiculous. The rest of you guys are on flying brooms and you fly up and you see this shimmering reflection of the Feywild, a mirror of this world but covered in wild green nature. As you begin to get close, you feel the magical winds beyond begin pulling at

you like you're caught in a maelstrom of magic. The world around you glows green as you travel the space between planes. And as you are traveling, let's talk a little bit about the Feywild. The Feywild is a world of beautiful chaos. It is a reflection of the material plane, so it shares some similar geography. But where you might find a frozen river in the frigid north you might find a babbling brook full of merfolk in the spring court. Merfolk? Merfolk. Merfolk. There's a bunch of merfolk. I'd like to juggle in that brook! Should have mentioned myself at the party that there were Murphs there. Ryan Urfy is there.

Ryan Murphy is there. Just a bunch of Murph book wrestlers. He's editing an episode of Nod Pod. He's got a shell computer. Originally, there were four fae courts led by a Winter Queen, a Summer Queen, a Spring Prince, and an Autumn Princess. But around 200 years ago, the courts were consolidated under two rulers. Queen Cirilla rules the Seelie Courts of Spring and Summer, while her younger sister Queen Jovir rules the Unseelie Courts of Winter and Autumn.

The past two centuries have seen peace in the Feywild, though the sisters could not be more different. Cirilla is kind, but naive. Jovir is brilliant, but cold. The Seelie Queen basks in the good times while the Unseelie Queen prepares for the bad times. They say that the Winter Queen may have been born on the material plane.

Such is her disdain for chaos and frivolity. But we are not in the winter court. You are falling into spring. For a brief moment, the fabric of reality begins to unwind. The images around you warp and elongate like someone drew the world by coloring outside the lines. Your vision writes itself, but you go from flying to falling as you enter the gravity of this new world. You! Ah! Featherfall, featherfall, featherfall!

You guys all start featherfalling. Oh yeah, these brooms are just useless brooms now. No, Albin's gonna kill me, the twilster! You drop the twilster 7000 because you didn't think you had to hang on to it. You thought you could just surf it like in the commercials. Oh, I should have told you

that tech from the material plane usually breaks here. Oh, why is it exploding? No, the twister. Yeah, it weirdly fucking blows up and starts a fire. Wow, that was five seconds. That's dangerous. Man, you were on that thing. You could have died.

It smells like gasoline. Yeah, terrible vapor fumes fill the air. I thought it was magic. Oh, god, that stung. Yeah. So you guys are it had stung! Yeah. So you guys are falling away from this dangerous broom. Wait, that was a second! That was just a second boom!

It blew up the light! It still looks like the kids! It still! There's glass inside it! What the hell? The weather instantly changes. It goes from the cold gray sky of the frigid north to an orange sunrise in the spring court, and it goes from freezing temperatures to very warm and comfortable.

Beyond you see rolling hills of green, fields of colorful wildflowers, frolicking and flying beasts. Below you see a rapidly approaching canopy of trees because they're feather falling. As you near the trees you see one of them extends some magical branches with thick leaves that break your fall even more you guys hit the first canopy and slow down then hit another and slow down even more until finally you plop safely onto the ground oh you guys are here in the Feywild. You look around, you see ancient trees, moving vines,

and various wildlife. There are glowing wisps that light the way. In fact, you see as you land, a giant basilisk just creeps by and crosses a huge log. Everybody roll a luck check. Oh yeah. Okay, huh? 13.

Okay. Seven. Oh yeah! Okay. Huh? 13. Okay. 7. Natural 1. Nice. Sol, roll a constitution saving throw. Oh, you're going to turn into stone! You lock eyes with this basilisk. I should have told you, basilisk, turn you into stone.

You're going to turn into stone. Oh, fuck me. You see, this basilisk isn't even trying to do anything bad. It's just traveling across a log and just looks over and goes, whoa. To avoid eye contact with the basilisk. I like point with my fingers, like, what's that thing? You directly lock eyes with it. That's an eight.

OK. You guys see? Saul turns to stone. It's been a really great playing with you guys. It's been a real honor. Thank you so much for having me. You survived. He is a statue.

Saul turns into a statue. It's all their build day all over again. Um. Oh, no. Kelly. I think he survived the twilster just to fail to the basilisk. Call their knocks on Saul. The basilisk just keeps crawling away. Keep crawling, you know what you've done here. Hey buddy, what you.

Wait, wait, I bet your venom is like an anti-venom or something. You see? Spit in this cup. Spit in this cup. If you want to be honest about this. You have to do that on a chrojocin venom. I pour the venom on the statue of soul. It starts to like eat away at the stone.

Oh no! Don't do that, Don't do that! Ow! Ow! Okay, we can learn, we can look at, I've got like a bestiary with me of all the different monsters. We can see a bassler's down there. Mr. Mufau! Should we let the bassler, should we let it walk away? Mr. Mufau!

You see, suddenly a beautiful centaur erupts from the woods. Hi, does anyone need help? It's me. Holy shit, what an upgrade. I am Cranzler. I am here to save you all. What happened to your friend? Cranzler, don't I know you?

Did we not have an unforgettable night that both of us wished last longer? Oh shit, I'm actually, I'm late for something. Oh my god damn it. See ya. Cranzler leaves. But yeah, you see, Saul is a statue. So yeah, Calli.

Okay, okay. We can fit. I believe we can fix this if we go to a cell and find some sort of witch who's willing to cast a greater restoration. Is that true? Calli. Yeah. So yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah, to restoration. Kenna takes some time, looks through it.

She's got like a squire book. She's like sweating frantically looking at Saul and looking down at the book and just going through it and finds information on the basilisk. And he does need a greater restoration spell to be cleared of this magic. Would a dispel magic work on him? A dispel magic does not work on it.

Oh, that's what I'll say. I'll say, if you want to burn a dispel magic, I will allow it to have some effect. I won't tell you until you cast it out. Okay, okay, okay. You can just get him a bit mobile, so he's talking a bit. I go over to him, I put on gloves, smack around the basilisk venom, and I'm going to try to like, uh, dispel this.

Great. You cast Dispel Magic on Saul and you see that the stone begins to crack a little bit just so he has enough movement to speak, but he is restrained. Pour the venom in there, right? just so he has enough movement to speak, but he is restrained. Pour the venom in there, right? No, no, no, no. Callie, call the kettle. Okay, okay, okay, we're working on it.

I promise we're gonna get to a cell, we're gonna find some magical business woman who charges us way too much for a greater restoration. I was blacked out before, this is actually way worse worse because now I'm conscious and I know what's going on and I hate it. I hate it so much. Okay, do you want me to dispel my own dispel magic?

No, no, it's probably best for me to be able to weigh in. Okay, okay. Okay. All right, so who? Mr. Mufasa, rock, and we're two seconds in here. Honeysuckle, get away from Saul. Don't look at him. Honeysuckle, don't you dare.

Honey suckle, no. Sit. No, no. Sit. That's OK. It's not all bad. I can still use my tongue. Thank god.

Yeah, I'll say the tongue does come out. Wow. The only thing that didn't turn into a wall. And it's super slow. Super slow and made of stone. Here it just really slowly slides through you. So slow. OK, how are we going to transport him?

Okay. How heavy is he? Let me try to lift him. He's quite heavy, but you can lift him up. I'll say, honeysuckle you know can carry things without affecting... Incumbrance. Incumbrance. Okay. You'd probably move slower, so you guys have to strap the stone statue saw up.

Callie, I'm really trying to be positive about your home, but this is a very bad first impression. I told you he's like very beautiful, very dangerous. It's like a hot woman with fame. You did say that. Which is what I am dressed like right now. I reveal little vampire fangs with my witch hat. I wish you could say that.

I can't see them. I'll say you can see. I'll say that your eyes open up. So you have it. you essentially are able to, you are mechanically restrained when you're really just moving very slow. So I can like hop around me. Yeah, you're like a stone construct.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So let's just immediately book it to Rousseau. Okay. You look at the map. 100 miles through this wild forest.

Okay, fuck it, fuck it. I'm going to, no, no, no. We're going to, we are desperate. We're gonna find a witch in the woods. That's what we're gonna do. This is the fucking fair wild. A witch in the woods, is that gonna make things better?

It's gonna make things different. I'm gonna cast Speak with Animals and try to find some birds who will rat out where a witch lives I'm looking for I'm looking for Rob. No, I'm looking for grackles For what a bird? Grackles? Grackles?

Aren't grackles a kind of bird? People I know that are into birding talk about scoring grackles. Yeah, they look like little like Oh They look like little blackbirds Okay Okay, I didn't know what a grackle was but I'm looking it up right now. They look really cute. They're like kind of They're like little birds. They look like little black birds. Okay. Okay, I didn't know what a grackle was, but I'm looking it up right now. They look really cute. They're really cute. They're like little black birds.

They're like little black birds, but they're also like multicolored when you look up close. So they feel like they would have a connection to a witch. You see this beautiful, dire grackle. This giant purple... Holy shit, don't shit on our statue! What? I can't look up! Yeah, this bird flies by, shits on the statue of Saul. Oh no, but even their shit is iridescent. You're beautiful! I shout. Thank you. Come down and speakches on Saul the statue.

Hello, my name is Summer. I am an autumn eladrin. I was wondering if you knew where a witch was because we are in need of a witch's help. I take off my witch's hat. You see the bird. Stolen Valor. Looks nervous as you mention that and goes, I know one, but. Or an herbalist, maybe a really sweet, nice herbalist who just really loves helping people.

Don't know any of those. Yeah, like a dermatologist maybe. I don't know any of those. Okay. So which it is. Yeah, who do you know? I know Lady Elspeth Lady Elspeth and Kali you

recognize that name because sometimes she lives in Roussel and her name is Lady Elspeth, but people call her Lady Hellsbeth. And she essentially offers deals and spells based on curses, essentially. You kind of almost take a gamble when you make a deal with her. Okay, I relate this all. So like Lady Elspeth is a bit of a gambler.

Okay. And she would be a chance we could take. What sort of gambles are we talking about? Like, uh, you know, it's sort of like you bargain things that mean a lot to you and you might lose them. Oh, I've been there. Yeah. Uh huh. Uh huh. So I know that she's sometimes in Rossell, but if she's nearby, then we could try to deal with it right now. It's... Saul, I would say it's your call. Because I do think you and I, we could try our best to protect Saul, you know, in any

battles that might come up on our way to Rossell. Yeah. Listen, we don't have time to waste on this. Saul flips himself over and then looks up at the Grackle and says, roll me in the direction of the witch. Okay, okay, yeah. Can you help us find Lady Elspeth? Ah!

You see the Grackle flies off and as it flies you see smoke that was not there before begins to rise out of the forest like it's coming out of a smokestack. She has revealed herself to us. Yeah, I'm just going to chest pumped out. Let's do this. We can best a witch, okay? Heading straight towards the hut. Yeah, a fey witch.

We just got fucked by a basilisk, but this should be fine. Miss Petricor, is this going to slow down at any point or is it just like 100% all the time? This is the Feywild all the time, everywhere. The Feyway? Yeah, it's the Feywayild all the time, everywhere. The Feyway? Yeah, it's the Feyway, yeah. Okay, Feyway, let's go.

Let's roll. I've taken off my witch's hat, but I am still wearing my vampire fangs. Wearing your vampire fangs. You make your way through the woods here towards this smokestack that you see. And Kenna has hoisted Saul up onto the back of Honeysuckle and trails behind you guys. You guys quickly find your way through a clearing and eventually see

a witch's hut, a small stone house with a thatched roof and a smokestack, smoke going up into the air, and you see a small fire inside. You see there is no door, just a dark archway. I'm going to press the digitization a bit of light, and I'm going to be polite and say, Lady Elspeth, we seek your services. You see out from the light that you've just created, a Summer Eladrin woman appears.

You see she wears a long black cloak and she has long copper hair and sort of an ageless look to her. Looks younger than you know her to be, but carries herself with a confidence that lets you know that she is much older. And you see her skin looks like it essentially glows with sunfire, some type of intense energy. And she goes, yes, you spoke to one of my familiars. Ah, the grackle. Beautiful familiar. Thank you.

Very loose bowels. I can't really talk. Oh, what, you want my mouth to be frozen again too? Sorry. I tongue him. God, that's sharp. You see, she nods for you to follow her and begins walking into her hut.

I follow. I drop a bit of Sol's knitting string outside and walk in trailing string just in case she has some sort of trickery that we're gonna get lost in here. I can wait in the doorway if you want. Hold on to the string. I'll tug the string if anything weird happens outside. And you tug the string if anything weird happens inside. Well then we would just be tugging back and forth. Okay what if it's just okay regular weird no tug. No tug. Weird like you go into a different world tug. Okay,

not gonna ask what you unravel to get that string. Right on. Yeah, kind of weights on the one side, sort of guarding on the outside. You guys walk in and find this little witches hut full of books and tinctures. Familiars will come by like little animals and stuff from the forest, come by and will like nibble on some food that's out on a ledge for them. You see there's a fire here and a cauldron. She walks over to the cauldron and puts her hand over it and it begins to glow red. And she goes My magic comes at a cost

If you are willing to pay it I'm willing to cast it What are you asking I require a bit of life itself some of your life energy. How do you extract it? See, she holds her hand out. It would feel almost like you're casting a spell on me.

You're giving away a bit of yourself that I can use as energy to cast the spell. I can cast any spell that you desire, provided I have the right components. Okay. I... I will do it. Wait, no, Carly. I got into this mess. I should be the one to do it. Wait, no, Cali. I got into this mess. I should be the one to do it.

I'm afraid you won't do me any good in your current form. What do you mean? Guy made of rock. Don't you want some rocks? Cali, let me do it. You need to be fully functioning here. We need you at 100% Cali. No, Calder.

You've already tried to sacrifice yourself before. I think at least it's my turn. And I think that it occurs to Calliope to like use magic to try to kind of protect herself. But like there's a part of her who's like, do I cast modify memory on myself and implant a fake memory that will feel really potent and she'll want to steal it. But I think she's just gonna go with it.

Lady Elizabeth holds her hand out over the cauldron. You see it begins to glow orange and she gestures for you to join hands with her. So nothing, not even like a hint. What do you want from me? I need a bit of your life. Okay I think I think of all the pictures that Ariak's drew and my instinct is telling me to just go with it. So I'm just gonna kind of trust that whatever happens, I can figure it out and I'll go for it. Callie, you take Lady Elspeth's hand,

you see the ca's hand you see the Cauldron begins to bubble with magical energy She takes both of your hands and shoves them into the cauldron AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- I SAID IT'S HARDHOTER THAN A THOUGHT, IT'S HHHHHHOTER THAN A THOUGHT I thought that was a string really hard You see, uh, Kenna comes running and what's going on? It does not feel like burning, but it feels like something is magically siphoning from you. Kali, I need you to go ahead

and give me a constitution saving throw. Can anyone help? I'm gonna say she's on her own. In fact, you see Kaliope begins taking on, she had taken on like the look of like an autumn Aladdin. She begins to pale. You see Lady Elzbeth begins to glow with more fiery power as she siphons it from Calliope. How much life are you taking from her?

I'm taking as much as I need. 21. Constitution save. That's really high, Murph. That is quite high. Callie, you have this moment of doubt and confusion as she yanks your hand forward and the reality of the situation hits you. You feel Calder's hand on your shoulder trying to help you.

You look over at Saul, you know that you were doing what you had to do and you steal yourself. She is only able to siphon the smallest amount of life. She pulls back. Here's the curse that she has given you. Okay. Your DC for your first death saving throw is now an 11. You have to hit an 11 to pass it.

And that twos are that ones. Had you gotten below a 20, every number you got below a 20 would have been another DC. So you could have, it could have just been your death saving throw. Your first one is a fail automatically. Yeah.

But as it stands right now, DC is 11 on your first death saving throw for the rest of the campaign, unless you get another greater restoration essentially cast on you. We can live with that. I can live with that. You pull your hand back as Elzbeth lets go

and she looks at her hands sort of surging with life energy here. And she looks at you and goes, I may have underestimated you. Yeah, I've gone through a bit of a glow up. As have I. I thought I would have needed a bit more energy, but you've got a lot to give. Yeah. Little bit of galley goes a long way.

She walks over, holds her hand over Saul. but you've got a lot to give. Yeah. Little bit of Cali goes a long way. Yeah. She walks over, holds her hand over Saul, and you see that the stone begins to melt away as she waves her hand over him. Saul, you feel the rocks that were sort of like jammed there in your joints and stuff break away and almost like something that was like rusted that you finally like crack and you get moving again you feel yourself as if you just had the most intense workout of your life like never felt more stiff but you come out of it Saul is no longer made of stone greater restoration

oh Kelly thank you I'm so sorry you have nothing to apologize for it It was honestly, it was a good experience. Everything you've given, I'll return it to you. I'll return it to you two times over. I guess the only thing I would say is like, if I go down in battle, it's like a little more serious now. Right, that's not a big deal. We didn't want you to die before,

but now we really don't want to die. Yeah, so just like keep an eye on that, cause I won't be able to. We just won't let that happen then. Okay. It's easy as that. For sure. Okay, so do we get, is there anything else that's a part of this?

Do you have a complimentary gift badge? Do you have a t-shirt or something? Oh yeah, how do we say? I went to Lady Elspeth and all I got was a worst death safe. Like a mug or something? I would be willing to sell you a mug, but in order for me to conjure one, I would need just a little bit of their magic. Take my magic.

Well, let's see the mug first. Yeah, let's see the mug first. Well, I can't show you the mug until you subscribe to it. No, I don't know. I don't know about this. Well, I can cast a level nine mug if you want. I could make, without a doubt, the best mug you've ever seen.

Call those hands for twitching. Okay, okay, you know what? You know what? We're gonna say no to the mug. Right. Okay. For now. For now.

Is there anything else you need? Well, is there any way we could like, contact you if we need anything later? Do you have a shell phone? You see, she blankly stares at you after you ask if she has a shell phone. No, but I'll find you. We're actually going to Rossell. I live in Rossell.

Yeah, I was kind of wondering if you had passage there for a couple of clients that you just had a really satisfying deal with. I think clients high profile, low profile. Actually, we're really low profile. We want to be invisible. Yeah. I could certainly teleport you there for a price. Let's walk. Thank you so much.

We're going to ride on magic. Thank you so much, Lady Elspeth. Walk out of the witch's hut. Saul has been cured of his petrification. You see, as you cross the threshold. Can I just have saved a little bit of Saul's petrification to make a souvenir shot class that says, I got Lady Elsbeth. Wait, I'm gonna save some so that I can make something

that says I got my rocks off at Lady Elsbeth's house. Yeah, that's it. That's what we do. The rocks like chip away from him and you save some of the rocks. I give him the souvenir shot glass. Whoa, it rattles at the bottom. Yes, yes.

You guys exit Lady Elsbeth's witch's hut, and as you pass the archway, you are magically back in the middle of the woods again, and that's where we'll end our session. I can't believe the Feywild got off to such a fucking wild start. We'll talk about this more on the short rest, but the basilisk was just supposed to be there

as kind of a joke of just being like, ha ha, imagine the things that could happen in the Feywild. Cause it was, if you rolled below a five on a luck check, then the basilisk looks at you. But the basilisk is like a DC 13 con save. So even then you still have a good chance of making it. So better chance that nobody looks at the basilisk and the worst person for it to happen to was Saul

Yeah, so fucking funny. It's just like the equivalent like getting off an airplane and like getting run over by a giraffe Awesome you can listen to us talk more about this over on the short rest patreon.com slash an ad pod That's any DDP od don't sing yet Didn't mean to. Stop, dude. Stop. Jeez. And does anyone have anything else they'd like to plug? Ooh, ooh.

Yes, yes, yes. I wanna plug the Big City Greens movie. Whoa. That's right. The old show I used to work on. They made a whole movie you can go watch on Disney Plus. I did a little bit of storyboarding on it, and so did a lot of other incredibly talented people.

It's very funny. I got to watch it in theaters with some friends, and it tugged on my heartstrings a little bit. So go check it out. Right on. Please check that out. And you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use,

at CH vs. Me, at Caldys Caldwell, at AX for Demolion, at Jake Hortes as Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADDPOD. N-A-D-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation! We are, we are, the youth of the nation! Oh, that flesh, Jake. It's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders.

Let's get right to it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Let's get right to it. Liam Bryant the very worst DM Victor T aka Balnors boy Hoyt's friend Justin I Danny shares a birthday with goofy Danster T JM Trayleigh the Cray Christopher B Damiel R Jordan L cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Targot. Stevie Wags. Hellish Rebukeer PhD. Princess Yar. Jory S. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of every film ever made in Bohemia,

now starring in the Iron Deep production, A Squire Never Tires. Samuel B. Mike H. Balka Smilzer Plus. Great Value Gemma. Tyler F. Mike H. Alka Smilzer Plus. Great Value Jemma. Tyler F. Panama James. Heradrian. Carboro Chapel Hill FPV. Rex Daniel the White. Deanna rabbit folk detective. Timmy R. Rayco, Calder Comes Cold, shout out to the cold cum companions. Frosty Facial.

Taylor B, the vengeful one-winged angel. Cass, 40-year-old with a car, Cass. Steven, Samples Simmering Sulphurus, Szechuan Sea. Mike K. Lady Taco and Team Incredulity. Nick W. William W. Big Bad Beardo the Mad. Eric McD. Anonarama. Percival Fredrickstein von Muselklasowski de Rolo the Third. J. Dragonborn Guardian of the Vibe honoring the cock. Regular Chicken Sandwich, The Sandrayan, Ben A, Dave H, Christian S, showing that sweet blue hole.

Dustin S, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfars assistant Izzy F, DPC is awesome, hashtag honor the cock! Shone, the Shade Tree mechanic of Zellable Dar. Summer Rose, aka Grand Tare. Kat C. Misa of House Enzunza. Ariel, the occasional mermaid. Selena N, aka Valaesiraptor.

Bee Perky, always! Maxwell J. Lauren H. Serv 16. Annie, the always. Maxwell J. Lauren H. Serve 16. Annie the Feywild Therapist. Skillful ferret, insert fan art request here. Oh, I would love to see Duck Team partying hard at the ice knife. Whatever that means to you, I would love to see it.

Connor S. Celille. Weed Goku69 looking for my alcohol Vegeta 420, aw. Good luck. Biocort 20. Oh, good luck. Biocort 7 Amber dextrous Sullivan H Trub hop dropper. Jack Hubert, king of the mole people under iron deep dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament. Lindsay W.

Valen. Paj. A dumb bunny bard. Carlin C. Noah the Bullywug boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G, everything bago, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripy. Daddy Master Dandy, Han, Eric B, Learns the balance druid.

Frida M, Tracy P the crick elf librarian. Maggie S, see you in Chicago! Hope you had a good time! Holly The Green Laughing Hyena Finally caught up to Duck Team! Welcome to the present! Akash T. Andrew Crick Elf Monk

Way of the Honored Cock Dufinius Aaron B. Russell H. A monk named Dilgo Yes the whole thing, yes every time. Cody C. Keychains, Pentium II, Processor. Lorelai the succubi, Grinchomancer.

And Kira, her dad. Your friendly neighborhood yont and yonkle, Andrew and Sid. John Adams, the write-in candidate for 2024. Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfarer, now has to do something with the trolls. To get rid of them, turn to page 42. To keep them, turn to page 69! Shane C. Barpo Goodbarrel Bardbarian.

Welshlander Garrett G. aka One Big Curd Havy the Half-Orc Renee the Monster Captain Box Clifton Olivia the Enchanting Bard and Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing Stick It to the Man

parentheses down with the monarchy Winterslade FICO Garrett the Artificer, Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh H, Kayla Bell, The Ferry Say Om Nom Nom Nom Nom, Honor the Cock,

Cantrip Dumbledore the Bear Onesie Wearing Barbarian, Lexi H, MJ the BFG, Nodrog the Pacifist barbarian, Gino T, Tristan the talentless hunk, Leon Kumori, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S, Alexander, Linz W, Angela Pamela the forever vindicated Emma s red the reforged war

forged Pavu Eskinoor the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile hated overrated dime a dozen lush who is so last hot boy summer hashtag wrecked and jealous for this podcast a cat napping in a sunbeam, listening to a podcast. C Jam Hampton. Shell B, Kenna's second favorite sprite girl. Happy Pride to Fia, Jins, Moonshine, Beth, and all the rest. Pawpaw says, Rear here, Rear queer. Haha.

Jackson R. Snailus, who's infecting Worchester for within. Blake H., searching for a sweet blue hoe with his bestie Big Bev. Pawpaw Skatties, Mee-Maw Skatties. Taylor B., a part-time Clartist. Oh, it's V. Tommy W., Megan N. Oaklington, Savannah H. Bownor's V. Tommy W. Megan N. Oaklington. Savannah H.

Balnor's best friend, Steve. Stephanie of House Insunsa. Benjamin A. Gimli the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend. Mikkel A. Josh H. Froakie. The two crew blew through.

Lulubug, the Crix Nanterfly scientist. Maple, the shy bookworm. Ashosaurus, Seth E. Billy Batson. Tori the Draggoose and his husband, Karhu Kivatsu, werebear, barbarian, and champion of Uco. Michael L. S. the second. Jacob, the purveyor of shenanigans Nova Cry Parcell Dex Riddlewell

Hannah A Bastion Fiddlyfwoop Ace Dregs High Lord of Critsburg Darius D Troy's mom who has never played D&D Vin Diagram Nurse Betty 141 GKCTHT, CadmiliusTheConsumed, Hossinator, BardofHolding,

Clinton P, CamTheFrogman, Dean, JakeBohemiasNo.1DIT, TuesdayCrossTheChooseYourOwnAdventureWriter Tuesday Cross, the choose your own adventure writer and not the porn star. Devon G. Xavier Broadhorn and Steve Law. Whew, that is all of our elders. Thank you all so so much for listening. If you would like to join this illustrious council, you can of course do so by going to patreon.com slash nadpod. That is going to be it for us today. We will see you here next week.

Thanks again. Farewell. That was a hate gum podcast.