Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 68: Dearly Departed (A Faerie Tale Ending)

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

Duck Team scrambles to escape Shadowfell and rescue their captured allies! Calder defends his strange undergarments, Sol plays peacekeeper, and Callie resolves to save the last serpent. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."Montgomery Manor" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell" by Emily Axford."Two for Tea" by Emily Axford."Shock at the Dock" by Emily Axford."Mothership Lobby" by Emily Axford."Frankie" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford."Soul Coins" by Emily Axford."In the Dark of Dusk" by Emily Axford."The Fabric of Fate" by Emily Axford."The Feywild" by Emily Axford."Titan of Air" by Emily Axford."Sea Beast" by Emily Axford."Alanis" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."Into the Planar Pool" by Emily Axford."Spearmint & Tea Leaves" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."A Fairy Remembers" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahoomyah everybody. Bahoomyah. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz.

The water is dark and full of vampire sharks. Call or kill them. Ooh! Wow. Is that a real kind of shark? Shit, I didn't prepare a vampire rhyme. You didn't prepare a vampire rhyme after everything that happened last time?

Really? Sorry, I was thinking about my fucking sister. Oh, really? You can believe it. It's more on the forefront of my mind. Forgive me. Forgive me for thinking vampires might be on the forefront of your mind. We were thinking about the story, man, I'm sorry.

Oh, okay. Oh, I get it. We actually, we love what you're doing as DM. Oh, shit, all right, you respect me this week, that sucks, that's tough. I don't know how to fit into this dynamic. All right, and then of course we've got Emily Axford. Daydreamin' cryer who hopes to meet a vampire.

Luckily you guys bantered for me to come up with that. Yeah, I saw you just freeze. Head was spinning as you tried to think of vampire rides. But she stuck it, tell you what. She absolutely stuck it, and then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner. Oh, giving dingers to fate bringers and escaping Batbeast's fingers, it's all bufo. Oh yeah.

That's right. There's a vampire just standing right behind me. I didn't mention it in the rhyme, but he is there in the room. Oh, okay. Caldwell stuck it too. Caldwell stuck it too. Yeah.

Stuck it. Parentheses vampire here. Oh, okay. We'll stalk it too. Called we'll stalk it too. Go, go. Stalk it. Parentheses vampire here. Perfect, perfect. Perfect vampire themed rhyme. Yes. Absolutely. All right, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time you approached the shores

of the Shadowfell Archipelago, expecting to run into vampires for some reason. Instead, you found Syra sitting alone on the rocky plains. Syrah seemed relieved when Kali approached her, then switched back to anger about the stolen serpent egg. The sisters had it out. Kali said that she was jealous of Syrah because of her relationship with her mother, but Syrah revealed that she was jealous of Kali because their mother knew she was special.

Syrah also revealed that she refused Oberon's help, hence Marigold still being full-sized and a bit wild. Eventually, Callie broke down her walls and you reminisced about some good times together, allowing Saul and Calder to make their introductions. Seamlessly. Seamlessly. From there, the vibe got a bit awkward.

And you tried- I. I remember that. And you tried- Trending up, trending up. Said that he heard mixed things about her. Yeah, I remember that. You tried to talk Sire down from her plan of attacking Jovier, but she persisted. You went to Galactic Swag for advice, and he gave you a map of the Seelie Unseelie Summit. With that in hand, you knew that you could at least target Jovier carefully and spare innocent lives,

so you agreed to help Syrah. You had breakfast for dinner, which Syrah prepared, since the rest of you just wanted to have cold eggs for some reason. Vampire eggs? Sure, vampire eggs. No, it was because we were being supportive of Calder. Right, right.

I made a really weird impression and I needed to claw back social cache. And you did. And you did. Oh yeah. Saira told of her various quests and you invited her into the crew with her own duck team track jacket. She eventually brought down Marigold for you to meet, who warmed up to you when she met

the projections of honeysuckle and licorice. You flew around the island and saw a vampire party, then landed and prepared for the Plane Shift. But just as Syrah cast the spell, seven Fatebringer mages emerged from invisibility and cast Force Cage on you, leaving Syrah to Plane Shift alone. One of the mages showed you a projection of the summit where Syrah was tricked into killing Queen Cirilla

when Jovir moved out of the way and one of the compromised Green Knights pushed her. As Saira collected the power of the Melted Crown, Marigold was wrestled down by Fomorians and Saira was shot with an arrow by Glen and apprehended, allowing Jovir to grab the relic with the power of the Seelie Crown. The Fatebringers announced that you were under arrest and would be executed for conspiring to murder Queen Cirilla. After Calder's attempt at a Misty Stepped was counterspelled, it seemed you'd have no choice but to be captured. Then Saul used his Hour of Reaping, causing six of the seven mages to recoil in a moment of absolutely legendary terrible rolling by me. Kali used

Phase Step to jump on the remaining one and the fight was on. Calder successfully Misty stepped out, then Sol and Kena were able to escape via the teleport ability of Calder's helm. The vibe quickly worsened though, when the remaining six mages shot six fireballs at you. Knocking out Kali and bringing Calder

within an inch of death, Kena brought Kali back up with a potion who immediately got to work magically manipulating mages into fleeing the battle. Saul was able to stun enough that you were able to spread out and start running in different directions. Unfortunately, the remaining mages were able to pull off a chain lightning, taking down Kali and Calder. Kali was brought up again quickly, but Calder rolled a nat 1 on a death saving throw and

was close to passing on. Saul continued to stun the mages, then made a mad dash to him and was able to feed him a potion just in time. As you rushed off, the mages tried sending Bigby's hands after you, but Cali dispelled one and Saul squeaked out of the other. Running in separate directions, you all jumped off a cliff into the dark Shadowfell Sea, and that's where we are now. I didn't squeak, dude. You didn't squeak out? I didn't squeak.

How did you get out? It was very forceful. It was very impressive. Okay, so it was like a, ha! Oh, I wasn't thinking your voice squeaked. I was thinking you made like a wet plopping sound. Oh, that did happen. Okay, I'm sorry, I apologize.

Yeah, I freaking thought so. I know how to DM dude. And we love what you're doing. All right. So you all plummet from the top of this cliff into the water below. You break the surface and sink down. You open your eyes, but it is pitch black. There is no green or algae only only darkness. Kali jumped in

with Kena and Calder jumped in with Saul, but you all find yourselves very much alone in this moment. Those with heavy armor, all of you except for Saul, find yourselves quickly sinking. That is the only way you know which way is down, otherwise you can't make heads or tails of anything. On top the only way you know which way is down. Otherwise, you can't make heads or tails of anything. On top of that, you've just had a near deadly encounter. You feel that as soon as you hit the water, even you Saul, the adrenaline leaves your body and you feel consciousness slipping away from you. You feel a weird calm as you float down. Your mind and muscles relax.

Your vision is dark. Your senses are dulled. And before you can tell the difference between consciousness and unconsciousness, life and death, you pass out. Everybody do me a favor and roll initiative. Whoa. Oh, okay.

All right. 18 for Calliope. Oh, 18 as well. I also got an 18. Are you serious? Whoa. Really? Yeah.

Let's legally vote. Absolutely insane. Okay. Yeah. That's legally vote. Absolutely insane. Okay. Yeah. Let's go ahead. If all of you have the exact same initiative, everybody give me constitution saving throws. Okay.

Okay, are we being punished for this? Are you being punished for it? No. Nat 20. Okay. Okay. 18. Okay.

A simple a dullards nine. All right. Calder, you wake up and find yourself in a strange room. Some kind of hunter's den or entertaining room. Based on the size of it and the style, you get the sense that you are inside a great, very old mansion. There are burgundy carpets and curtains with gold trim. The room is lit by a candelabra chandelier and hundreds of tiny candles on oak desks and tables, bookshelves of old tomes. You see that as you look down at your body,

you have been disarmed and relieved of your outer armor. Am I naked? You are not naked. You're in, you wear stuff under your armor. Okay. No he doesn't. No one stripped him down. He is wearing clothes.

He has clothes on under his armor. It would hurt him to have plate on naked skin. He has clothes on. I'm wearing a cup and a tank. You just have a jockstrap on in a tank. Me too. Yeah. Everyone is in whatever they wear under their armor.

Cup and a tank. A cup and a tank. All right. So the three of you are in a cup and a tank. Yeah. Yeah. Calder, you see that your belongings are stacked neatly in a tank. All right. So the three of you are in a cup and a tank. Yeah. Yeah.

Calder, you see that your belongings are stacked neatly in the corner of the room. And there's also a strange plant that has a green stem and is drooping over with the weight of a big circular green bulb. And there are no windows in this room and a heavy wooden door with iron banding. Okay. And as your senses start to come back to you, you go to move and realize that you are bound to this table. Your wrists and ankles are attached to magically enchanted cuffs and you look over and see Calliope and Saul and Kenna tied to separate tables in the same position as you. Are they awake?

They are not awake yet. You rolled the highest on the Constitution check. Okay. Can I just do like a light low whistle? Yeah. To try to get them to stir? You let out a low whistle. You see Kena,, Saul and Kali begin to stir. Sira. Whip her well. Oh, we can I'm in my cups.

I'm down to my tank in my cup. Everyone wearing a tank in a cup. I was wearing like the regular stuff you wear under armor. I can't remember the name for it, but you know I basically have like a tunic on and my pants. When you're a knight, you'll adopt that. You really need a cup. Really, because I've dressed knights before as a squire.

This is like day one stuff. Then you haven't dressed a knight before. There were budget cuts at Mothership. General Bronzebeard is kind of like the night of nights. Maybe for a tourney or something, but it's different when you're adventuring. You guys have this argument as you're all strapped down on separate boards.

I go to gesture to be more emphatic about the point, and I see this stuff on our wrists. You said it's magical? You feel like a magical surge going through it. Can I try to cast Unseen Serpent to see if I can cast a spell? Callie, as you go to cast a spell, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.

You feel a magical charge go through you that causes your body to break before you can do the verbal or Any kind of components to cast the spell 19 on the die becomes a 23 you do not gain a level of exhaustion Okay, but you feel you immediately go to like heavy breathing. You break out into a sweat. Okay, don't, no one try to cast spells. Okay.

It was a mistake. Let me see if a good little good old fashioned frog grease does the trick. Can I try and use my slimy skin to try and wriggle my way out? You see that this is bound tightly around your wrists and you are, you're looking like kinda dried out a little bit. Oh no!

Yeah, you were saying that you were squeaky. In fact, Saul, I'll say, you look at yourself, and you're kinda like, shit, have I not been in the water in like a couple days? What? What? This feels wrong. Wait, it can't be a couple days!

What, there can be days? I'm flaky over here, We're just in the water! Can I just try to like, is there a window somewhere? There is no window in this room. Okay, fine, fuck it, I'm gonna scream. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Somebody spit on me! Somebody spit on me, I need water! I'm so mad! Ansters!

I'll try to haka-lugy on Saul. Yeah, I definitely haka-lugy on Saul. As you guys turn- I'm screaming so loud that there's so much spittle just arcing over to Saul. You're supposed to wear pants. You're not everyone's supposed to wear pants. What we are wearing is normal.

You're supposed to wear pants. You're supposed to wear so much tunic. Metal on skin is not good, everyone. All you need is a cup. All you need is the cup. That's not real. That's not real. Come over and kick me, and I'll show you how effective it is.

I'll come over and kick you. If you're all so right, if you're all so right, if you're one of two, you're great. Keep spinning. All the spittle is good. As you guys are screaming at each other, all tied to these separate boards, you see that that plant that was sitting there, that was this big circular green bulb you hear a disgusting like as

an eyeball Opens up in the bulb and looks at you guys open it is that you it? Absolutely does not look like Oberon Open please I assume it's Oberyn. Oberyn, it's you. Oberyn, please. Oberyn, please. Stick that wet moist eyeball on me.

You see this. This is the first time I'm glad you spy on us. Oberyn, tell Kenna about the cup. Tell her about the cup. This extremely red, injured eye looks at you guys. And then a moment later, you begin to hear the sounds of people walking down a nearby hallway.

It almost sounds like a party, like a bunch of excited people. You hear somebody fumbles with a key on the outside, and then the large wooden door finally opens up, and you see a couple dozen well-dressed aristocrats in fine clothing and birdmances. You have a fucking look on your face! You've got a lot of nerves, sir. dressed aristocrats in fine clothing and bird masks. You have a fucking look on your face. You've got a lot of nerves, sir.

I have a lot of nerves. This is your fault. You all made this happen. Yes, yes, he got what he asked for. You see, there is one man with no mask. He has long white hair and piercing red eyes. He wears a long black coat and a white shirt with a ruffled collar that he leaves open,

revealing his taut frame. You see he's got a goblet of a thick red liquid. Oh my God. And he kind of swirls it around as- Quick, spill it on him! I try to as- Quick! Spill it on him! I tried to gesture to Saul. Spill your drink on him! I don't know if I need that sort of liquid, but yeah, sure, why not? You see, this guy looks taken aback.

I thought the effects of the Shadowville Sea might dull your senses a bit, but it seems you're as lively as ever. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha. Why are we in chains? I'm curious.

Yeah, what is going on? And has it been several days because we lost someone very important and very worried about her? Oh. What's your name, by the way? My name is the Baron Archibald Stunch. Archibald Stunch.

Archibald Stunch, I'm very important around here. Geographically, politically, story-wise. Geographically, yeah. What? What was that? Sorry, that third one sounded kind of meta. Politically. Story-wise. Politically. No. Oh, yeah. What? What was that? Sorry, that third one sounded kind of meta. Politically. Story-wise. Politically.

No. OK. I think that was the first or second one. Yes, yes. That's what I heard. We saw you. Why are we here? How do you know us?

How did you find us? Well, we saw you flying around on that golden snake of yours. Oh, right. The party. Yeah, so we did a little reconnaissance and lucky for you, we fished you out of the water. Yeah, that was actually really kind of you. We were in a bad place in a bad way.

What can we do to repay you? Oh, you see the Baron Archibald Stunch looks at the other party goers, again, dozens of them. And they all look. Wow, you've got quite a lively party. Yes, well. That seems strong. Now, are those all Aarakocra,

they're just wearing masks because it's ironic? You see they take off their burnt masks and they are vampires. Wow. No. Is anyone hot? Yeah, most of them are hot, yeah. You see they take off their burp masks and they are vampires Is anyone hot yeah most of them are hot yeah Most of them are hot. I just tried to make my Tank and cup look as flattering as possible. They I mean they already look amazing They all look everyone looks enticed looks enticed. We don't know whether it's the blood or the cups and tanks We look like the crew the Nostromo, but we're in cups. Just waking up out of that hibernation pod,

just cupped up and ready to go. Yeah, you see. I'm cupped up. The Baron, before we were talking about cupped up, responds to what Callie was saying before and goes, oh, thank you for complimenting our soiree. But they've become a bit pedestrian as of late all of the same people all of the same families oh sure sure they want fresh

blood toasts to you laughter or was that a bit of life and dust leaving your body? Little bit of Gollum-ay. Little bit of Gollum-bee. Okay, okay, okay. Do you want to put that goblet down? Because you keep gesturing with it and I'm worried it's going to spill. Oh, I've been doing this for, I've been gesturing with this for a long time, my friend. No, I get it. You have a stink of legacy about you. Oh, thank you. Ah, yes. You're certainly nursing that goblet. You're not drinking it at all. Good. Well, the question is, how do we celebrate our new guests?

Well, we could dance if you untie us. Yeah. Yeah. I do a really good bloody cabaret. You see, a few of them do look enticed. Tempting, but we were thinking more along the lines of keeping you alive and feasting on your flesh for weeks. All right, that's perfect.

We're spitballing. Maybe store your sweet blood into bottles and keep it like a fine wine. No bad ideas. Okay, yeah, it's flattering to know it's sweet. We could turn you into spawn to do our bidding. Okay, here's the deal. We really have incredibly important business elsewhere.

Oh. They all laugh together. Yeah. Ha ha ha, I laugh like I'm part of the joke. So I'm willing to make a deal with you to get me out of here. The Baron walks over to Calliope and goes, oh, this one speaks to us like an equal, like a peer. Really?

Yes, perhaps we could turn you. If you turn me, would you let me loose afterwards? Never see the sun again. To spend all of your days in tastefully decorated Victorian mansions, hosting tastefully erotic parties. Gotcha, as an alternate idea, you mentioned that you were a little bored, and that your parties are all feeling the same. How about instead of just draining our blood, you hunt us for sport? You give us a little head start and we run through the gardens. Maybe you've got like a labyrinth out there or something. And you try and just like take us down one by one. That could be

fun. That could liven things up. I'll stay in my cup. It's such a good idea because I've got some cats that if you get them playing before they eat, they are so much hungrier. They love the food more. You hear various, oh, ooze from the crowd. Cause you want to get, I need to get a little sweat going first, cause otherwise it's just gonna be, I'm gonna be real gamey.

Oh yeah, you'll get our blood pumping just right. Biting in will be like a geyser meets a gusher. See, the Baron goes over to you, Saul, and goes, your idea is quite sporting. Yes, indeed. So perhaps a compromise is in order. I would shake your hand, but it's currently chained. Perhaps we leave it for fate to decide.

If my hunger should take me and I should rip out your throat, then we'll have a feast. If you survive, we might invite you to dine on the others. You see he leans in to bite you, Saul, when suddenly, BLEEEEAAAAM!

An enormous fireball blows a hole in the wall knocking back half of the crowd of vampires. A fire starts instantly and the aristocrats begin screaming and ripping their masks off or the ones that didn't have their masks off start ripping them off. The other ones take on these like feral, very un-hot vampire faces. You see spotlights shining in through the holes in the walls, before goblins on repelling ropes swing in and begin shooting at the vampires with gatling guns. They shriek as silver bullets tear through them, and amidst the chaos, you see the adult boy wizard Albin

flies in on a broom and throws a vial of holy water at Baron Archibald, who shrieks and grabs his face as Steam comes off of him. Albin yells get to the fucking airship! You see Albin casts dispel magic on a nearby device that seems to be Enchanting the cuffs and you feel their magical grip on you weaken and we are going to go into initiative Fuck yeah. Everyone has 18 for some goddamn reason. It's all your first act with the highest dex. That's my guy.

First of all, I do a fit check on Albin. I wanna see what he's wearing. Is he wearing like a sick ass duster? You see Albin looks like absolute shit. Like he's been up for like two days trying to figure out where you were. You see that he is drooling. He has bloodshot eyes and just like four cans of Monster Energy drink

falls out from his pack as he rides in. Borderline irresponsible for him to be on a broom right now. Get in the fucking airships, Al. You don't gotta ask me twice. I kiss both his cheeks, I grab one of his Monster Energies, I pour it all over my flesh. You instantly kind of start to turn green, but you do begin to moisten up.

So here's what I will say. Here's what, there is still a little bit of a challenge for you to get out of here, right? So you see Saul, you've got at your table, this one vampire archibald who's grabbed his face. So he's in opportunity attack range of view. You see one vampire at each of the tables. They were all starting to like go in towards you. And you see there's one that's

like blocking the exit. The other ones are all being fought by various members of Mob Goblin. Gotcha. Who look like they came ready for a vampire fight. So they're, those guys look like they came ready for a vampire fight. So those guys look like they're able to handle themselves. There's basically three lesser vampires that are at your guys' tables, this one greater vampire, and then one that is kind of blocking the window. Okay, well clearly this one's the leader. You said Archibald was clutching his face?

Yeah, he was clutching his face because Albin just did some damage to him by throwing a potion, by throwing a holy water thing. And you do see that most of this room looks like if you can get past these guys you can get to the airship but you do hear Archibald screaming for help and you hear skittering like the sounds of more like vampire spawn okay into coming to help all right i gotta shut this guy's yapper up um i'm gonna try and stunning strike Archibald. Hell yeah, go ahead and give me your attack.

15 and a 28. 15 does not hit, 28 hits so hard. So you see, he gets his wits back about him after he has this holy water steaming on his face and he goes like, oh, good show, but I'm afraid I parried that one, ah! And then you break his nose on the next one. He'll make a constitution saving throw.

Correct, it's a DC 18 now, because we leveled up. Oh yes, I had you guys level up between sessions after that big escape. That is a four, he fails. So he is stunned, and this dude would have had legendary action. So you see this dude right now is just grabbing his face and is not able to act

Saw you got there rest of your turn here. Okay, great I'm gonna take just a bundle of yarn and shove it in his mouth. So he can't And then I'm gonna head towards the vampire that's guarding the door And just trying to head but the shit out of it. Sweet Oh, yeah You you make a mad dash through through this room that is now completely on fire. And I'll say that you do see those, like you need your equipment a little bit less than everybody else does, but you do see that there's this big bag of equipment that is stacked neatly in the corner here near a chest.

Ooh, can I throw people their weapons? Totally. You just start tossing swords and stuff. Kenna grabs her hammer. Callie grabs her lance. Calder grabs his sword. You guys aren't gonna have time to put your armor on, but you can grab it in the bag here.

There's an extra cup in here if anyone needs one. I'll take two. I'll take the blue cup. Kenna obviously doesn't want one. All right. Hey, I want it, Calder. The armor is what protects you. You don't need a cup.

Okay, Callie, me and you for this cup right now. I take off my gloves I'm ready to fight for it. Okay, so as you guys are still arguing about the cup Saul you still have you can do your bonus action Yeah, you know I gotta on this on this lesser vampire. That's blocking the exit. Okay. Yeah, flurry blows two more attacks Yeah, hisses at you and tries to spring at you to stop you from escaping. Sorry, but too much is at stake I paused to see if he laughs before punching him. Ah! Giggles, oh! And then goes to bite you.

Got him. Nat 20, sick. Yeah! Okay. Okay. Nat 20 and a 28. Both definitely hit. Great.

Natural eight on the roll, so is stunned. Okay. So punch him right in the face, and I'll say this guy's right near the window. With your second attack, you can do a five foot shove, and'll say this guy's right near the window with your second attack You can do a five-foot shove and you shove this dude into the Shadowfell night and he's just fucking gone Nice does that mean I can get the temp HP? You definitely can get So this guy flies out of the castle and saw as you look out

You see that you are in this cliffside mansion the one that you saw while you were flying around this vampire party huh above you is the balcony where you had seen them all outside and you see dozens more vampire spawn spider crawling down at you we actually have to leave got another party to get to but below you see mob goblins airship hovering with Darg at the helm. Come on jump down! Darg you son of a bitch, here we go. Alright, hey! I finger gun Darg as I like-

Hey, we'll trade pleasantries later! As I leap into the night. Hell yeah. Saul leaps out having cleared the way. Oh, can we say, this is maybe this is too much too many actions Could I tie a rope and like leap like basically bungee leap towards the airship so that there's like a zipline for everyone Yeah, sure. I cool. I do that Tie rope to yourself and jump off. I'll say even throw it back to these guys Yeah light enough for Calder and Callie to hang on to you

Saul has gotten down onto the airship Saul you Splat down there on your frog feet and join the rest of the goblins down here. Callie, you are next to act. Okay, um, these magic cuffs, these magic preventing cuffs, I want them. You want them? I want to steal them all because we're up against mages. Okay, hell yes. All right. So here's how this is going to

work. I'll say if you can break them off, you think Mob Goblin, you probably would only need one, and Mob Goblin could probably reverse engineer it, or Alvin. Great. I'm going to straight up cast Shatter on the podium I was on to try to get rid of the shackles. Hell yes. Okay, now that they're not magically enchanted, they no longer stop you from casting spells. You cast Shatter, they break off cleanly, and now you have these like, rune covered shackles that look like they could be enchanted again

to do what they just did to you. Okay. And you've got a Blood Drinker vampire, one of these lesser vampires right on top of you here, who hisses and goes to bite you. Okay, I'm going to reach out to the Serpent Queen and I'm gonna say, Serpent Queen, we need your starlight in these darkened times

and I'm gonna cast a Storm of Radiance. Oh! And I wanna basically try to get as many vampires as I can without hitting Kenna or Calder. Okay, rad. Is this a new spell? Yeah, so I unleash a storm of flashing light. I'm imagining it as starlight and raging thunder. 10 foot radius, 40 foot high cylinder centered on a point

you can see within range while an area creatures have the blinded and deafened conditions and they can't cast spells with a verbal component. Sick, okay, what kind of save do they make, Khan? Khan save, yeah. Great, I will go ahead and roll for them. God, what a perfect Kali spell, I love it. Yeah.

Now it's a party. Okay, you see Archibald is weirdly the only one that saves of the vampires that are like kind of in your way. The other ones that we're going to get opportunity attacks on Kanna and Calder are affected by the Radiance. So there is this explosion of Starfire that comes out of Kali's Lance. You see these bright lights all of the vampires in the room shriek and turn feral and try to turn away from it. Looks like it definitely affected the blood drinker vampires that are near your allies. So anyone who to anyone who failed took 37 damage.

Whoever saved takes half of that sick. But I think from what I can tell everyone's blinded and deafened. Yes. So it looks like they're going to have a very hard time getting off their opportunity attacks. You do still have movement if you'd like to use it. I feel as though the way is paved, I'm jumping out. Hell yeah. Going to that shit. Calli, I will say as you cast that spell, yeah, normally when you use Starfire and stuff you feel this very like natural like kind of bond with the wild and stuff when you call upon Starfire. This time you find a deep anger and hatred behind the magic as you cast it. Oh my god, that means that Marigold is being tortured or something.

Okay all the more reason, let's move people! Callie you run and jump out the window and join Saul aboard the more reason. Let's move people. Cali, you run and jump out the window and join Saul aboard the airship. One dude, one of the guys that you just hit is gonna take an opportunity attack with disadvantage, tries to swipe at you as you get by, but you're golden. Calder, that is your turn. All right, I'm gonna move through this storm

and try to slice a bunch of vampires on my way out. Cool. Yeah. 17, 26, and a 19. this storm and try to slice a bunch of vampires on my way out. Cool. Yeah. 17, 26, and a 19 to hit. All three hit. 46 damage. Okay, you stab into this vampire, it shrieks, a beam of necrotic energy

comes out of its mouth, and it bursts into bats, and then turns to dust and flies away. And one of those bats almost hit me in the nuts and that's why you were a cup, Kenna. And I jackknife into the open air towards the airship. Hell yeah, you run out, you jump out into the open air,

you see rain coming down, Dark's trying to keep the airship steady, but there's a bit of a storm, and Kenna follows suit, follows after you, Calder. You guys all jump down onto the ship. You see Albin and a bunch of the goblins on their next turn jump down after you. Dark looks at you guys, gives a nod,

hits the igniter, and you fly off into the night. Yeah dude. Sorry, that's not the sort of sucking we like to do. Yeah, we're the ones who suck, not you. I scream into the night. You see, Albin runs over to you guys. Are you all right? Are any of you hurt?

I mean, we're great now. How did you find us? You've been missing for two days. Two days? What the fuck is happening? Well, we don't know everything that's been going on. What's happening with Syrah? We can talk about everything else in a second. Is she fucking alive?

She's definitely alive. There's like a full on propaganda thing happening right now with Queen Jovier. She's trying to pin it all on Saira. It's working to a large extent, but her life is safe until Jovier decides to do a grand display. And we've heard that she plans to do a coronation along with the execution to make herself High Queen.

A core execution. Huh, okay, well, we gotta break her out. Yes. Yes. I'm sorry, we heard about the insanity at the summit. Wait a second! Albin, before we go any further, cast non-detection on me, please.

Oh, good call. You see, yeah, Albin takes a moment, casts a non-detection on you. They can scry on me, so, okay? Alright. Yes, um, we'll try to keep you not detected, but luckily I was able to detect you. I've been tracking you, Sal, as I had told you before, through your magical items and stuff that I've been familiar with.

I saw that you were in Shadowfell around the time that everything went down at the summit, and you weren't moving. We learned that your location, at a certain point, was a known vampire lair, so we gathered the troops and got here as fast as we could. I'm sorry it took so long, we had to do a ritual to change the rift of the material plane to Shadowfell, and then Garrosh got us a favorable wind, and we moved as fast as we could.

Wow. You got here just in time. God, you can't ask for better friends, I'll tell you that much. Yes. Well, in the interest of finding Saira, I'm wondering if maybe you could use this. Uh, Saul's gonna pull out the orb he took from the Fatebringers? Yeah. Would you be able to engineer this?

Because this was showing us everything that was happening at the summit. I don't know if it's still functioning, if you can hack into it, but it might be able to give us a lead as to where Syrah is. You see, he looks into it and he goes, this is not in and of itself a magical device that acts on its own. This is a spell casting focused for a diviner, essentially, but we might be able to get something out of it. I can get it down to Ma Goblin and we can look at it But in the meantime, I think we should get to the Feywild and get to Garrosh. We're trying to gather the troops here Okay. Yeah, I want to speak to Ma Goblin too I have these cuffs that they use so that we couldn't cast spells and we were really

The fatebringer mages are very powerful and we need to figure out a way to neutralize them And I'm wondering if she can turn these cuffs into something we can use. Interesting. Yes, let's take these down to Ma. The portal to the Feywild is open so Garrosh can pull us on the wind, but he doesn't want to overexert himself like he did last time. We have a few hours on the ship. Yeah, I feel like-

Yeah, we don't want him pulling anything. Yeah, I feel like if we could turn these into like a lasso or something. Wow. That would be, I will feel better about using that. Yeehaw. This is like a cowboy thing that's happening now. As they say in the Feywild, yeehaw. Can you picture us with like cowboy chaps?

Okay, so you guys can't keep just- Can you picture the little vests? If you guys keep talking about this, we're gonna end up getting kidnapped by cowboys. You realize that, right? So let's just not manifest it. We are so good at manifesting. We manifested the vampires.

Okay, so let's stop, let's stop, let's stop. Okay, everyone think about money. Yeah. So you guys all think about money. Uh-huh. And Albin leads you down into the hull of the ship and you see Ma Goblin, the stocky frost goblin, sitting in front of her display of magical projections and screens and she looks up at you guys as you approach.

Oh good, you are not vampires. No, sadly. Howdy. Sorry, we suck in the other way. Yeah. Right, yes, yes. You see Albin- The punk rock, we suck in the other way. Yeah. Right, yes, yes. You see, Albin. The punk rock way.

That's the other way. Not like in the being bad way. I know what you mean. There's three ways to suck, right? Punk rock, being actually bad, or being a vampire. Or physically, like, through a straw. Right, OK. Yeah, language is tricky.

And that's the only three or four. Yeah, yeah, true. All through a straw. So there's the only three or four that's it. Oh, yeah, yeah, true. There are straps and there's four. Very good, very good. You see Albin walks over, hands her the cuffs, and goes, Ma, Kali wanted to see if you could recreate this. There are cuffs that stop you from casting spells.

Yeah, we faced off with some mages who were also quite sturdy, so I'm really worried about a rematch. Ah, yes. And I feel like if there's something that could sort of take them out, like a lasso or something, get a couple of them together. Is there like a cowboy thing going on now? Now that you mention it, wow, that's interesting. It's on the vision board. We're not talking about cowboys because we're not going to get kidnapped by cowboys. We're thinking about cowboys, not talking about it. If you talk about it, it doesn't come true. It's birthday rules. You see, Ma Goblin looks at the cuffs and goes, oh, okay, interesting design.

This is basically a spell conduit that works in tandem with like a machine or a spell casting focus that casts a spell in this case pretty much like a powered up counter spell or a ray of sickness or even like a vampire's bite like essentially siphoning life away from somebody. Oh that did make sense because I was really dry when I woke up too I think it was partially because I hadn't been in water for a while but maybe there's some sort of like Desiccation element built into there, too soul

Do I want to touch? Some of the dry skin, okay Dry yet just like for I see for research no offense. I see very you're very flaky skin Honestly, I can work. I don't need to look I've got like the Hugh Jackman veins right now I hadn't thought of that yeah cuz like when he's like on set he like doesn't drink water so these muscles look extra big right but that doesn't make your skin dry it'd be like really makes you look fast very famously people get wet and oil themselves up you wet good. Yeah, you wet the exterior, but you stay dry on the inside.

That's how you look fucked. But you're talking about Saul here, who's saying that he has dry skin. It's just... Dry on the inside, wet on the outside. Ma, I don't understand what you don't understand. Okay, alright. Let me tell you what I do understand these shackles not too complicated They will take not much time to recreate at all

But the machine that cast the spell that can kind of use these as a conduit give me a day or two and I think I can Fashion something for you. Do you know much about Shadowfell? Is this kind of magic weird? You see she looks at it. she goes, definitely a little weird. Definitely vampire cuffs. Strange. Is it weird for Shadowfell? I haven't honestly spent much time in Shadowfell, but there is certainly, you know, different magic. You even see your friend Garrosh is able to use

more powerful magic when the gate to the Feywild is open. So there are definitely certain types of magic that are Josh is able to use more powerful magic when the gate to the Feywild is open. So there are definitely certain types of magic that are native to certain types of planes. This for me is actually very exciting because I do not get to study much magic from Shadowfell. So this, now that I have this, you've done a very good job bringing this to me. I think I can make something of this. And when's the last time you were here? The last time I was in Shadowfell?

Never. Oh, so this is your first time yes definitely Very quick to all well. I say we should do some sightseeing, but that's how we end up in the vampire tower to begin with Yeah, but we got you a souvenir from Shadowfell so that works. Yes Yes, yes, and I look at the hole I look at called you a panic in my eyes not realizing that he's referring to the lasso Yeah, colder give Ma the souvenir. I gave her an orb, Callie gave her cuffs. What did you get her?

I felt like I had something to do with the cuffs, but we are gonna get them back at the end of the day. So I guess not a souvenir or a show and tell element. I start reaching for them. Right, right, you see he pulls them back. Oh no. Right, so I will look into these. I think I should be able to have something for you. You see she also takes the crystal ball from Albin and goes, and if this is from the mages that you would like to incapacitate, perhaps it might be even quicker to turn around

now that I have their spell casting focus. Oh, great. Easier to make something to work against a specific opponent than to make something that is just for general use. So something like this might normally take me a few days to reverse engineer, but I think I could do it a little faster now.

Yeah, keep your enemies close and their stuff closer. Indeed. You see, as she's looking at all this stuff, you do see it looks like she's been tracking a lot of the stuff that's been going on in the Feywild and everything. She has all these screens, very like kind of Ozymandias from Watchmen type thing, and you see like various news articles and intelligence coming in from sources on the material plane and the Feywild and you can clock even just from some of the headlines and pictures and stuff that

you see that there are a lot of stories about Queen Cirilla and Saira. Oh my god okay can I are there like any pictures of her because I'm really worried because the last thing that Happened is I'm like reached for her hand and we said we're in this together And I don't know if she knows if she thinks that we like sold her out to Jovier Or if I abandoned her or if I got scared at the last minute like oh Calliope and just peace or something stupid like that Go ahead and give me I guess you guys can do either like history or insight

checks just to kind of digest the information and I'll give you background information based on how well you guys roll, but you'll definitely get some stuff no matter what. I'm looking just at Saira's eyes and see if she thinks, if it looks like she thinks she's alone in this. 19. 17 for Saul. 22 for history. Okay great. Okay so Kali you see that most of the

pictures of Saira are from her like wanted poster so she does look alone in that she was alone at the time. So she's got this... She thinks I've betrayed her. Correct you don't get any kind of personal information like that because if if anything, they're trying to put out there, like, she's this big threat. So there's this picture of her as this very fierce summer eladrin, all fiery with this fierce look of determination. And you see on the screens, a lot of the main headlines are, and I'll say Calder is digesting all of this super fast, you see a lot of, like, ob, and I'll say Calder is digesting all of this super fast.

You see a lot of like obituaries for Queen Cirilla about the like hundreds of years of peace that she reigned over the Seelie Kingdom. There's also a lot of favorable coverage of Queen Jovir who is apparently quote, deeply saddened by her sister's passing. A super nightmare. Yeah.

Yeah. She's promising to bring justice to her killers. And in the news about Saira, you see that she is being presented not only as Cirilla's assassin, but as a sort of harbinger of the apocalypse. You guys have sort of privately forged an alliance with Oberon, where he has become willing to help humanoids if it means saving the Feywild, but no one else knows about that. So to the scholars and sages who just know of Oberon's prophecy, it was originally meant for the Serpents to destroy humanity if they reap too much from nature

So that's the only publicly known information about the serpents. Oh because she's got a serpent. Yes And Dave got a serpent. Exactly. So Jovir and her court are using that to propagate The idea that Saira is an agent of Oberon trying to destroy the faae. She's a snakesman of the apocalypse. And what about, like what are the pictures looking like about sweet little marigolds? She does not look sweet. There are pictures and recreations and stuff of her breathing fire down onto Cirilla.

They're not showing any information or anything on her in captivity or something, just that she's been apprehended. They're using the least flattering photos of her. That's not fair. Well, I mean, they're beautiful if that fire had been trained on the right person, maybe. Yeah. Right, yeah, there's a passion to them for sure. They're really amping up the fear-mongering to try to unite people under Jovir and they mention you guys and By name and that you are still on the loose with two of the serpents By the actual name by Kaliope Petricor not Maeve. Hey Penny or anything like that really? Yeah

Yeah, you guys knew this you guys have had wanted posters about you feels less flattering than it should be yeah Jovier is reported to be quote hesitant to consolidate the crowns and take on her sister's mantle But high-ranking advisors from both Exactly, I know it's a computer screen, but I rip up the computer screen I rip up the computer screen. Hey, hey, easy, easy. Oh, fuck, Joe Veer's going on hot ones. How are you so strong that you just rip up a screen? That was nuts.

You see that high ranking advisors from both courts believe that only a high queen or empress can protect them against the rebels, automatons, and all of the chaos that threatens the realms. That is the main narrative, but you do see Ma Goblin pushes through and shows you guys some pushback. Not everyone in the Seelie Court.

Yeah, show us the independent zines. Yes, there are some independent zines. Okay. You see that not everyone in the Seelie Court is buying it. The fact that Cirilla was killed at a summit between the two courts is sort of a double-edged sword for Joveir. It makes her look good for capturing her sister's killer and stopping the serpent, but it also makes her look like she may have had something to

do with it, because we do know that she did have something to do with it. So because of that, there is some Sealy opposition to consolidate in the crowns, but you see that the Sealy are fighting amongst themselves. Some people are suggesting that Cirilla's husband, King Lesterborn, who's pretty much just a king consort, should be made full Seelie king, but he's not as popular or as magically powerful as his late wife. What do I remember about Lesterborn? I mean, I know he's not like, I know he's not the one who did this, but now I'm like, is he like, is there any chance he's conspiring? There's not much to be known about him other than he's Cirilla's husband.

His claim to fame is being on her arm. It's just being a beautiful, eladrin man who's like impeccable style and- I love him. He starts all the most fun fashion trends. He could never have had anything to do with this. You think he probably didn't have anything to do with it. There's really nothing.

I mean, he is in danger now and he does not. You see like articles about like him saying he doesn't want to be the king. You see there are other names being thrown out and various other nobles vying for power. And so even the dissenting voices that are against Jovir are not united. There is just chaos and this sort of power vacuum on the Seelie side. And many of the noble houses of the Summer Court are declaring for Joveir. So some of them are just fully on board with this idea of Joveir needing to protect them and whatnot.

And who are the loudest voices, the loudest dissenting voices? Because they could be potential allies. Yeah, right. A lot of the loudest voices dissenting are of green knights, of ones that you did not see as being compromised when you were looking at that Mildred's murmur.

So there does seem like there is a military force that has essentially declared themselves independent and enemies of the Unseelie Court. They are staying true. They're still fighting for Cirilla, even though Cirilla no longer exists. I wish there was a way to expose Leonore, because he's like working with, he was working with Jovier, right? Correct. So the captain of the Green Knights, there are a bunch of false Green Knights, one of them being Glenn, one of them being this other guy

who was the one who pushed Cirilla. Not much is being made about that because in the sort of chaos of the event no one saw that except for you guys who were watching like through magical means so there is this compromised element of green knights. I wonder if anyone saw though there must be some green knight that clocked it right? There may have been because there are some that are opposing jovier despite it would be much easier to go along with it right and um much like albin had said up on the deck it is rumored that sira will be killed when jovier is coronated uh this would obviously distract when is it when's the coronation they not saying it. It seems like she will do it when it is politically convenient.

It seems like right now she's sort of circling the wagons, getting as many allies as she can to make it seem like it was their idea to make her the High Queen of the Fae. Then once that is like an acceptable narrative, she will then use the theater of justice to distract from her own power grab and unite the people against the common enemy. In this case, Syrah. Okay. Oh my fucking god.

What's the material plane saying, if anything, or is this all kind of localized to Feywild? A lot of it is in the Feywild, but when something happens on like a sister plane like Shadowfell or the Feywild or the Material plane there are people that are concerned about it. It is less of a deal on the Material plane but people are aware of it. Okay and check on the Esri Gazezri which is the Esri local newspaper. You see they're like rumblings of trouble in the Feywild. It's just worse information. I can't believe this isn't word popular. I love the gazezry. Can we flip to the cartoons? Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing. It's like four pages of comics.

It's great. Can you use your massive fingers to flip to the cartoons up on the screen? I called their swipes to the back of the gazezry. You all really have to stop treating screens like they are paper. No, they're getting there. They really are. You do see it as a touchscreen. It does swipe. Really? You got lucky.

You got lucky on that one. Yeah, you see there are really good Marmaduke comics. Whoa! Called her cracks up. He's so big! Yep. You've done it again, Marmaduke. The joke is that Marmaduke is big. You see, uh, Garfield, uh, hates Mondays.

Oh my god, so do I! Cliope cracks a smile, and then she realizes that these comics, which usually make her laugh so hard, aren't even affecting her right now, because she's so despondent. Yeah, Calder remembers that his best friend's sister is about to be executed and laughs a little less hard at Heathcliff. What's wrong? I don't know. So, Sir Petricor, are you more of like a Heathcliff person or? No, usually I love these. Usually I love Marmaduke and Garfield. You haven't even giggled at peanuts your favorite comic strip No

Actually, you're confusing me with someone else I don't fuck with the little folks My goblin is there any chance that You could dispatch someone to at least get in range of wherever Cyra is? I don't even know if that's possible, but I'm really worried about her. Because it feels like if they suddenly get desperate, they might just make a big show of offing her to distract from some other piece of news. You see, Ma Goblin puts a handout on your shoulder, sort of a comforting touch, and goes,

we don't want to compromise ourselves. There's a good chance some of this news is coming out to frustrate you and to draw you out of hiding. If she catches you all, then all is lost. You're right. Oh, I see. So actually, they probably won't hurt Saira because they want us and the other Serpents. Yeah, they're using her to lure us in. Even if they were to just kill Saira, I do think they are trying to get their ducks in a row politically before they do something like that. They need someone to take the fall because right now, if they didn't have Syrah, more fingers would point at Jovir.

Is there any way to get a message to Syrah? You can say no. I know it's like probably not possible. You see she just sort of nods and lets you answer your own question. Yeah anyways I'm gonna take another stab at Mama Duke. He's big now. He's really big. He sort of- He thinks he's small. Yeah he runs in, he jumps. And he thinks he's small. Yeah, he runs in, he jumps on. He thinks he's small. The dad's lap. He doesn't realize how big he is.

But the dog is just really big, not really a lap dog. If anything, it seems kind of tragic that he doesn't realize how big he is. God damn it, Calder's crying. Think of how dangerous it must be to think you're small when actually you're huge. Imagine being a cat that just hates the beginning of every week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do you really hate Monday's Garfield or do you hate your life?

Yeah, yeah, where do you draw the line? Garfield or do you hate your life? Because days are just kind of arbitrary Charlie Browns is trying to kick the football He just wants to kick it he wants to say go sailing through the air. Why do they take it from him? brother As you guys all cry together You feel the airship begins to shake a bit and it feels like you guys are picking up speed and you see Albin grabs you guys and goes, we must be getting closer to the rift. Okay yeah yeah um what we're going to meet G'Rosh? Yes he has somewhere that should be safe for us even in a time like this. So we're getting back into the Feywild?

Yes, so the Material Plane, Shadowfell, and the Feywild are all reflections of each other. So the rift in the sky here, we were able to make it the Feywild. So we're gonna be able to travel right there. Alright, closer to Saira. Yeah. One step closer. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about ExpressVPN. Have you ever browsed in incognito mode? Well, it's probably not as incognito as you think.

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rocketmoney.com slash p-a-w-p-a-w. Thanks everybody. I think I look out over Shadowfell and I kind of say like, I'm sorry I met you this way, but I hope to meet you again someday. Yeah. You head out on the deck and you look out over it as you are speeding by you see that many of the goblins up here are having to like hang on as you guys travel fast on this like magical wind that Garrosh has conjured to kind of pull you guys

towards the rift. Below Callie you can see all these dark craggy cliffs and gray plains of rocks they sort of blur as you pass and then you look up and you see in the starless sky a green rift at the same place it'd be on the material plane atop the ruins of Mount Forge. You guys travel towards it and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until the darkness is replaced by bright green lights and you see the matter around you warps and twists and then you feel a rush of spring air as you find yourselves back in the Feywild. You feel the sun shines in the distance

as it breaks over the horizon, just the morning of a new day and a dark. Wow, we're like flying through the sky in the morning? Yeah. Wow, we are like the chariot of dawn. Whoa, racing the sun. That's fucking so rad. Darg spins the wheel and the great wind begins to carry you

guys up and up and up until you can no longer see the greenery of the spring court below. There is nothing but blue sky and fluffy white clouds. And then you see it, a great castle appear in the heavens. Wow, he wasn't kidding. Yes, he had told you about his little place in the clouds that he was hoping to get back to. You see these great mystical birds circle it like it's calling to them. The walls of the castle look to be made of magically shaped cumulus clouds, white fluffy towers and bridges and doors.

There are huge windows that look into the Great Hall and as you get closer, you see that they are wind walls. Oh! And Darg lands the ship in the castle gardens full of topiaries made of clouds. As you land, you see Garrosh, this enormous cloud giant in purple and silver robes, exits the main archway and comes out to greet you. Welcome back Peregrin. Come in. We have much to discuss.

Of course. Okay. Can I see if Garrosh has acquired any new modern stuff from his time in the Material Plane. Uh, yes, you see that he is wearing a very funky little watch doohickey. That looks like it was some tech from like, Ma Goblin. Is that a step counter? Are you tracking your sleep or something? It's a communicator that also tracks my sleep and my steps. But you fly. Do you get any steps when you fly? No, unfortunately. We need to fix that.

Because I've been going around all day and I've barely gotten any credit for it. Look at this. You know what? Albie can tweak that. I've been up since 3am and I have 500 steps. That's off. Can you believe that? That's off, right? I think that's off. It feels low.

That's off. Yeah. You have Flappy Bird on that thing? It just came back. No, really? It just came back. That's incredible. Yeah, you see, Garaaj sort of floats around,

so he really is not getting his steps in. Damn. But he brings you guys in. You guys enter the castle and walk into a great hall. There's an opening in the giant domed ceiling that lets the Sun cascade in. The centerpiece is a hovering storm cloud that constantly rains into a fountain below it. There are perches around for beasts of the sky. You see phoenixes and griffins and Pegasi. You also see the goblins of Mob Goblin, ones that weren't on the ship with you guys.

Other allies from Esri are forging weapons of war, kinda getting ready for any battles that might be coming. You see there are constant gusts of wind that pull things around the room as if Garrosh constantly is using telekinesis. Insane that this doesn't count towards my steps, right? Yeah, I mean, does it build muscle, telekinesis? Yes, look at this, I'm sweating.

You see, he just has a giant vein in his head as he concentrates on all these spells. Okay, so it's just your forehead muscles. Yes, you see them very, it looks at first like he's got a very creased forehead, but you realize it's just jacked. Wow, holy shit, That's so crazy. Well, thank you for lending your estate.

It looks like you've let sort of like people making weapons take over. Yes, well, of course. Well, I wouldn't be here without you all. And we are aligned on the same cause. So you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Aw. Do you literally wanna actually scratch your back? Yeah, I do.

It's more of a figure of speech, but if you'd like to scratch my back, do it. Well, we should all do it. I do a massage train. All right, yeah, I walk up on Calder's back and I stand on his back. Yeah, and then I stand for Calder to give me a massage, and then I go to give him a massage,

Garrosh a massage, and Garrosh, you your massaging soul. All right. Yes, okay Please reach back there. Yeah, just uses one giant pinky to massage a size back I want one of those. All right touches your back Wow Okay, I got a hot steamy very well And gives you a little massage. Ow, that was chiropractic! Well? What have you done?

What is this? You're supposed to warn her if you're going to give her a readjustment. I wasn't, look, I'm a giant, I'm sorry. I didn't, I'm sorry, okay? Okay, okay, okay. What is this? What is this? I don't know, maybe I'm incredibly stressed and we're delaying the inevitable difficult conversation. Yes, I understand.

Obviously we've caught up on the madness that happened at the summit. I'm sorry for what happened to your sister. Thank you. That's... that's meaningful. Right now... right now I just really wish I could get a message to her and tell her that we didn't mean for it to happen like this and that we're coming for her. If you have any way that you could send a bird to whisper in the window of her jail cell or... might be able to do something like that. But also I think a more effective message might be burning down Jovier's kingdom. Yeah. I love that idea. Okay.

If we do do option A in tandem with option B, her favorite bird is a Phoenix. Noted. All right, with that, why don't we get down to business? See, Garaash brings you over to a Giant globe made of spinning winds it looks like a a storm here sort of in the middle of the Great Hall See he puts his hand on it and reveals a map of the Feywild You see markers begin glowing to mark the different areas controlled by the different factions. In the west you

see a huge red dot, and Garrosh goes, this is where Syrah and Marigold are, and the Winter Court is controlled by Jovir, as it has been. But she's been able to bring most of the Summer Court to her side as well. When we eventually take the fight to her, we'll be facing the might of the Unseelie and Seelie armies combined. And have your birds seen anything, I gesture to all the birds here, have your birds seen anything about what's going on with Marigold? What are they doing? Are they torturing her? Are they conducting experiments on her? Syrah is being kept in the dungeons below the Winter Court castle. As for Marigold, it is very difficult to get information on the inside. But if I had to guess, I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to

charm her or somehow use her as a weapon on their side. We know Jovee'er is super interested in utilizing the mythical beasts. Yeah. So that's one prize she's not going to give up on. Okay, because I sort of like prayed to the Serpent Queen in a way and I felt her anger and wrath. But maybe it's just that they're trying to radicalize our poor Merigold.

But if you felt that anger and wrath, that's good. That means she hasn't submitted yet. She's still fighting. No, the Serpent Queen, her mother. Oh, perhaps you felt a mother's fury. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think so. But I didn't know if it was because they were hurting her or not.

But if they're charming her, then that is its own hurdle. But yeah, just fury at their being taken. Yeah, I believe it would be in their best interest to keep Marigold physically at 100%. That is quite a weapon. Ugh, yeah. But not all hope is lost. To the east, you see he points over at the Summer Court where like the castle was where Queen Cirilla once reigned. You see a little blue dot surrounded by red dots. You see a little blue dot surrounded by red dots. There are loyalists to Cirilla who correctly believe Jovier had something to do with her murder.

They're not buying the story that's being told. They've locked themselves up in her old castle, in the summer court, and are being besieged by Jovier's forces. Is this the Green Knights? Some of them. Okay. Okay. So we can go and collect some allies. What about the autumn court? Yes, yes. To the south. Here you see

a bunch of purple dots. High Ember Lord Charbin, along with his Yes, yes, yes. Along with his......Empire. His ears must be burning more than usual. Yes, are gaining ground in the Autumn Court, same with Bear Lane and the Automatons. It is unclear whether they will combine forces, fight amongst themselves, or, in worst case scenario, join Jovir. Right. So that begs the question, how do we get them to fight against each other? Yeah.

Now that is interesting thinking. Here I was thinking that maybe we try to win one on the Mower, but it might be easier just to light that powder keg. Can we just send a bunch of ravens with conflicting messages, insulting each other? You see, Garrosh begins twiddling his fingers and goes, oh yes, I've been waiting to do something like this

for the greater good. Are you saying that we might need to do machinations? We just might, we just might. Yeah. Machinations might be in order. The North is likewise contested. You see blue and red dots. The glorious wave mother, Okorilil, and stone commander Besalt Von Shale are doing battle with a large force of tritons who have declared for Jovir. Excellent job securing that alliance. The North would be lost without

it. I, uh, I look at Sol. Yeah we locked it down. Karosh arches an eyebrow. Gee, you aren't dry anymore. You are looking quite moist, my froggy friend. Let's just say I caught the wave. You old frog. But yes, I think that they'll be loyal to our cause, thanks to everyone's efforts.

Excellent. Well, we do still need to secure more. We should send representatives or create chaos among some of the neutral parties and try to win them over and possibly gather any help that we can for the material plane if they'd be willing. I'd say with Bear Lane and Charbon, we should send someone to see if we can get Bear Lane on our side, but if not, then just try to stoke the flames. I love that as a backup plan. Stoke the flames of the Empire, as it were. The High Ember Lord's job in his many things and smart is not one of them.

Wait a second, Bear Lane is working with the automatons. What, we're gonna go fight alongside the automatons now? I mean, it's the last thing I wanna do, but... Is that what it means to be Peregrine? To utilize our enemies like that? I don't know. You see, Albin shrugs and goes, from all of our data, Alexandrites, the sort of core virus, the core intelligence is is gone. They they sort of are aimless at the moment. Is this how we win? Is this how we totally erase her? We show them a better way or at least...

I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of letting destiny be decided for us. If we have an opportunity to use this force to finally change things, to make the Feywild you want, then why don't we do it? Yeah. I say we look ahead. Jovira's our enemy now. Cool. Okay. Yeah. And I mean, I trust all of you. I just felt like I had to acknowledge. Oh no, yeah, it's-

Yeah, it feels super weird. It felt weird to not call it out. Yeah. Also, I mean, Bear Lane seems cool, but also just seems down to kill or fight anyone, which seems like not the greatest leader for them. But maybe they're just kind of looking for anybody. I don't know. But anyway, speaking of leaders, I could try to get the word out to General Bronzebeard, or maybe even if it looks up at Garage.

If you could get me so I can get to Iron Deep, maybe I could talk to General Bronzebeard or maybe even if it looks up at garage if you could get me so I can get to Iron Deep maybe I could talk to General Brodsbeard I know she's got Molscurial right there so it might not be super easy but maybe we could work something out with with Borigin in Molscurial as well I don't know yeah that sounds great we've we've made connections everywhere we've been we've got to reach out to Igneous and Elzor. Even Princess Shiverblight could help. My brothers, my brothers and the Iceknife, they'd wanna know too.

Garrosh nods and goes, all promising leads, but then of course, we will need the full might of the Serpents if we want to stand a chance. We can talk about how best to dispatch our friends and allies after, but I believe a meeting between you all and Oberon might be in order. Yeah, I think if we can get Licorice and Honeysuckle at like full power, we have our best chance to break out Marigold.

Right. Sol, do you think that your connection with Swag could get us to the Beastlands? I think between him and Elder Frogs and maybe we can try and hitch a ride. Sweet. Find a back door. Cool. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, let's all gather around.

Hey Albin, you want to get on in this? Um, uh, yes. Is it okay if we make some mushrooms on the floor here? You see, uh, Karrosh not. Of course. Before we go, is there anything else you wanted to discuss, Karrosh? Oh, I thi- well, you'll probably come back here, I would think. Okay, okay, okay.

Totally. We'll be right back. Okay, yes, I'll wait. You see, he just stands completely still. You can cook. Yeah, you're right. I'll be right back. No, that's alright. I'll just wait here. If you want food or use the restroom. Do you like form clouds into the shape of food? Yes.

And like pretend like you're eating it? I sure do. Oh, is that ultimately hollow? Hmm. No, I think it's fun. Oh, great, great. Can I have a giant sub? Yes, you can. Makes you a giant cloud sub. Oh my god, I devour it. Yeah, it tastes like water. It's awesome. Can I have a giant? Can I have a giant sub? Yes, you can. Makes you a giant cloud sub. Oh my god, I devour it.

Yeah, it tastes like water. It's awesome. Can I have a milkshake? Yes, hands you a milkshake. Well, I've always wanted to do this. Saul takes a bunch of clouds and shapes them into a big donut and then like dips them into more clouds and it takes a big chomp. All tastes like nothing.

It feels amazing. Huh, okay. Yes, it's alright. It's not the most fun, but you know, it's something I just sort of do idly. It's like kind of flipping a coin for you or something. It's just like kind of something I do in the background. You know what? We'll just vape instead. Yeah, it's not like the first thing that I would do. It's like a third activity. Anyway, I'll see you later. Alright, bye. Saul, go ahead and give me a... say like a wisdom saving throw or something as you go into like a deep meditation.

Okay. Seventeen? Saul... You sit, you gather everyone around, you gather Albin too for some reason. I just want to show my new trick. Just nice to be a part of something honestly, yes. Have you ever been to Beastlands?

No, I haven't. I think you won't like it very much but I'm excited for you to see it. Well I'm an adventurer you know again I was kind of the fourth member of the party before points out. That's true. Do you have a problem with me dude? I think you do should I. He has a problem with everyone. You have a problem with everyone you're very snippy. Yes. I just saved your ass. I saved your ass from a vampire. I said thank you. I said thank you. Everyone, I'm just trying to focus on divining into another plane. Yeah, so all your concentration almost breaks several times trying to keep your old friends and your new friends both happy. Saul get like- Calder thinks about how Cyra really didn't like him either.

And he's like, oh, am I the problem? Yeah, Saul tries to conceal a big smile as he see all his friends squabbling. Yeah, Saul, you go into a deep meditation and pull these other guys with you. And you see a bunch of mushrooms and stuff as you make a fairy circle around you. And you see grass begins to grow in the circle and then a little sunflower pops up

hmm hi hi we saw you down in Shadowfell in the in the vampires Me? So one of you? That wasn't me! What? No! Oh maybe it was Oberyn then. I think that was like a security system for the vampires. No I'm pretty sure it was Oberyn. No! Okay, okay.

You're the expert. Yeah I could have sworn it was Oberyn. It wasn't, no! It really had an Oberyn air in it. Well we'll ask Oberyn, we'll ask Rob. It's good to see you littleyn. It wasn't, no. It really had an Oberyn air in it. Well, we'll ask Oberyn, we'll ask. It's good to see you, little one. We found the third serpent. Yeah, I know.

Oh, right, it's a sad story. Very sad, people are mad. People are mad, yeah, the serpent queen. She's really mad. Oh, no. Yeah, she's mad at you. What? She's mad at me? She's mad at you.

She's mad at you, points at Calder. She's mad at you. What points at Saul? She looks at Albin. I don't know who you are. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. Really, Albin?

Okay, you don't love Calder. He's the problem. He's the problem. You just said fuck you to a flower. You just said fuck you to a flower. Fuck you. You see those little flowers hold up two little middle fingers. It's an entire flower.

It's a flower. It's a flower. It's a flower. It's a flower. It's a flower. It's a said fuck you to a flower. You just said fuck you to a flower. Fuck you! You see, the little flower holds up two little middle fingers. It's antagonizing me. This flower's antagonizing me.

It's not fun. Well, you know what? She's a mirror to your actions. Yeah, fuck you. Carly, this is like from one childhood friend to another. Can you tell the flower to fool us? By the way, Darg saved us. You said it.

You know, Albin started this. I'm fucking out out I am out you know you're sticking around you're fine all right you're bringing me to somewhere that someone named the serpent queen is pissed at you yeah yeah god damn it this is gonna be good for us man all right yeah you're coming with give us your shoe give us one of your shoes Why would I give you a shoe you're you're coming with us But you're not allowed to have any fun and I think you won't have any fun if you're if you don't have a shoe I'm already not having fun

Takes a shoe and just throws it at Calder said He's out onto something though. I think that this could help you get in touch with your wild side. This could unleash some serious potential for you. Who throws a shoe? Yes. You're really, you're tense right now, man.

You're goddamn right I'm tense. I'm thinking you can say. Finding out that my best friend is captured by goddamn vampires out of nowhere. Where did the vampires come from, right? Did you just call me your best friend? Yes, Calder. I called you my best friend. Wow.

I mean, I'm a little hurt, but I understand. He's got a magnetism. Yes. No, of all of you. Wow. I'm shaking. I have the most history with Calder. I was worried about Calder.

He is the one I was worried about. It really makes me see things differently, Albin. Albin, it would just really honor me if you and your best friend Calder would accompany us to the beast land. So damn it. All right. It's kind of a part of me and who I am now and I want you to see it. Yes, of course. Sol, of course I'll come. You see whispers in Sol's ear hole. You know, you're my best friend, right? Yeah, no, I just, Calder needs a win. Yes, I know, okay. Calder gives Albin a solemn thumbs up. He is. He's like going after this girl named Tristune,

it's just, it's not going well. Yeah, okay, good, good, all right. Two thumbs up. Albin goes back and you see the flower shrugs and goes, are you guys ready to go? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, we are, yeah. You see, reaches out a little leaf.

I reach out for the leaf. You see, Callie gets tugged into the earth and disappears. No! Well, I dive after her. You see, you hit your face into the cold dirt. Albin, do something. Just ask the fucking flower, man. I have nothing to do with this. Sunflower, are you coming have nothing to do with this.

Sunflower, are you coming back for us too? Yeah. You see Flower takes you, Calder, and shoves you under the dirt. No! Then takes Albin and takes Saul and pulls you guys all under. You guys all go through the clouds

and begin free falling from the sky into the beast lands. Ah! You are plummeting towards a floating island in the air. Around it there is nothing but abyss. As your body shifts and you fall, you feel the temperature and see the light around you is abruptly changing. There are multiple suns and moons that seem to evolve around this strange place, changing the climate and time based on where you are

at any given moment. You see the centerpiece of this floating island is an ancient, enormous tree with gnarled branches and roots. And as you fall towards it, you narrowly avoid being eaten by enormous birds the size of dragons who let out terrible shrieks as they snap at you.

Back off! Whoa, what the fuck? Where the fuck have you taken me? This didn't happen last time, I don't think. You see Albin goes to throw his shoe at one but can't find his shoe. Albin, throw me, throw me! Throw Saul, Saul knocks it out.

As you guys continue falling, you close in on the island and you see Oberon reaches his branches out and breaks your fall. You get the first layer of leaves and then another, then another, and then another until you harmlessly plop onto the ground in front of this great tree that shades everything in its wake. You see a face grows in the bark. You have failed.

Marigold is lost. She's lost? They've charmed her? I mean... You lost her. She was captured. Okay, yeah. She's being sort of poetic. It would be weird for a giant tree man to say Marigold has been captured. I guess, I can't read your face because of how wooden it is.

You're being cryptic. No, I got it But we can still get her back we need More power more allies though If we're to have a chance our deal was for you to return the serpents and in exchange I

Would reconstitute your mother's soul looks at you Cali the business with the avatars is something else you may plead your case to the serpent Queen Oberon's leaves begin to wither away until he turns into a smaller dead tree. The sun's around the island, all set at once, and one great moon rises. The edges of the island extend to create an endless grassy plain, and you see a sky of endless stars. You see a large cluster of them come together to form the constellation of the Serpent Queen who rages through the sky like a supernova.

Death! Death to the mortals! They have taken my daughter! Yes they took her but we are going to make sure that they pay for it! You see this giant constellation begins to take on more of a corporeal form, shining scales of starfire, lowers out of the sky, and with great fury, so big, she can go face to face with all of you guys, and you feel the heat coming out of her nostrils, just steam, pure starfire anger. She's right. Let us be your fangs. Let us

sink your justice into the mortals that have done this. She snorts and you see her eyes turn fiery red and she goes, you, I have already given you my blessing, and this is what happens. You take my power and you waste it. I think I'm going to produce a Hyacinth flower, which is a flower of regret. It's like an apology. And I think I'll just step forward and I'll say, we are very, very sorry. We were outsmarted, but the cause is not lost, okay? We have a chance to get her back. And I've met her. Do you want to hear about her? She's absolutely wonderful. She's everything that you dreamed she'd be. She's gorgeous and large and playful and spirited. And she has a deep connection to my sister, Syrah.

And both of them are captive right now. And we're gonna get her and we're gonna get Syrah and you're gonna meet her and you're just going to love her. Please just give us another chance. It isn't over. I know it feels over, but it's just because she's been bewitched. Uh, Callie, go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Okay, I will use my Emissary of Beasts.

Okay, 15 on the dice, plus 15 from my persuasion, because I just took expertise in it, plus 5 becomes 35. That's not bad. 5 from Emissary of Beasts. You see this enormous beast of pure starfire takes on a very human expression. Like this great godly anger suddenly turns into a mother's concern and you see her brow kind of furrows and she turns away from you guys a little bit not wanting to kind of show

her vulnerability still wanting to maintain this visage of anger and righteous fury. I think I'm gonna to reach out to the vulnerable side though, and just dig in, dig my heels in even more. You should see too the way she was with Licorice and Honeysuckle. Licorice, Honeysuckle, tell her! You see up in the constellations, the giant forms of Licorice and honeysuckle

flying through the air like shooting stars. You're gonna have quite a handful when the three of them are all back. Oh yeah, you're gonna need bunk beds. Yeah, and we want to do that for you, but we're up against people who are just so much stronger than us. Yeah, ever since you gave us these abilities, these silvery barbs, I've been able to save my friends, the people that I care about, multiple times. And it would be an honor to get to repay that favor. You see, she is looking up at the sky at honeysuckle and licorice,

and then she breathes out this deep sigh, and then looks back down at you and goes, your sister is in jeopardy as well. She is. Yes. To be honest though, Marigold being in jeopardy is enough for me to feel personally invested. You see, she takes comfort in that.

You see once again, a very sort of human reaction to that. But we do need more power. And we've proven to be good stewards of them. And I point to Licorice and honeysuckle. Galactic honeysuckle shouts from the sky. It echoes. Oh, meteorites, watch out! Fall out of his mouth.

If we may, I would love to ask you, if we may ask them to join us in Their full capacity they can save their sister Because I'm in that position and I want to save my sister and I want to give them the chance to do that, too as you say that you guys feel an Overwhelming amount of starfire around you guys begins like sparkling off of you like you guys are shining constellations and you see the giant constellations of licorice and honeysuckle begin to take on corporeal forms and begin to fly towards you with enthusiasm

But the serpent queen jumps up and blocks the way with like her big like galaxy sized body, blocks it and goes, Wait! My children will be hunted when it is discovered that they have returned to their true forms. If I am to send them into danger, my favor does not come lightly. We don't ask lightly. What would you require? That I bind your souls to them. If they die, then you will die. I accept. Kali's soul was already bound to these serpents. I accept as well.

These bonds are the only thing that saved us thus far. I accept. Um, you see, Albin steps forward. I'm probably not gonna do it, I don't know why I'm here. Albin, really? I don't think she was talking to him. Right in this moment. You choose this moment. You see, Kenna pushes Albin over. You realize silence was talking to him. Right in this moment. You choose this moment. Kenna pushes Albert over.

You realize silence was an option there. Did you honestly not wear a shoe? What's wrong with you? So disrespectful. So bizarre. Crass, really. You see, the serpent queen comes down out of the sky and devours Albert.

Wait, no. What? What? Wait. I'm taking the possibility. No, no, you don't understand. We're allowed to make fun of our friend, but you're not. I've sent him back to the Feywild where you entered. Wow. That's fair. That was yeah I thought that was I didn't want to like judge or anything but I thought that was an overcorrection. Yeah. That's nice of you though, he was clearly not vibing. Yeah, you see, I honestly, I personally don't know why Albin was here, I think. I thought maybe we'd go on a hike afterwards, it could be fun, you know? Yeah.

Guy needs some fresh air. He was covered in mosquito bites, did anyone notice that? They all went for him, he was like mosquito repellent. I barely even, there was like one giant mosquito, but it just like- Yeah, and it sucked on him the whole time. It drained him. Do you think it was like a vampire mosquito? Do you think he's gonna turn into a vampire? I thought we got rid of the vampires, but yeah, they followed us. Oh my god, if he's a mosquito spawn. Arw, what are we thinking about vampires now that we've actually interacted with them?

Okay, I was underwhelmed. Yeah, same, same. I thought they'd be hotter, I thought they'd be hornier. Yeah, they were thirsty, but in like a bad way. Yeah, in a desperate way. The party didn't seem that fun. We didn't, right? All right, all right, I'm sorry for derailing this

by eating your friend. It's totally cool. All right, who will claim the great silver serpent? The one you call Licorice? Okay, do I want to like circle up on this? I feel like... Yeah, we could circle up. Kali, are you gonna want marigold?

I feel like I owe it. Yeah. Licorice is not in the same place that marigold is and I feel like I owe it to Saira. If you'd allow it I would I would steward. Absolutely. For licorice. Yes. I feel like you know they kind of look like a long silver tongue. They really do. That's so fucking crazy I've never thought that and now I can't on the seat.

And I'm sorry for putting that image in your mind, but it's what came to me and it's what I said out loud and I side-eye licorice. My opinion forever changed. I step forward. I will speak for licorice. I will guard them. I will guide them. You see the great silver serpent snakes through the sky.

The starfire of his scales burn so bright that they eventually explode. And in the wake, you see a gargantuan licorice flies through the sky, then slithers under Saul. Saul, you pop up and there's room for you and a small army on top of licorice now. Takes you up into the night sky and begins flying you around

i remember all the dragons i've written and i know exactly where to scratch you hear licorice lets out a nice little as you scratch under his scales look at that sol's riding a huge tongue And as Saul rides around on Licorice taking like a lap around the night sky, I can't believe Alvin is missing this! Missed the most magical part, got bitten by a giant mosquito and laughed. That guy's got bad vibes. You know, some people are- It's the goatee.

Yeah, yeah. It's not great. You need acquired taste. Yeah. Licorice returns to the earth with Saul atop him. And Saul, you see a glowing orb emerges from your chest like a tiny star and then combines with Licorice into Licorice's scales. And you feel bound to this creature.

You feel like you will live and die by each other. Um, yeah, I- I nuzzle with Licorice's head. Welcome to the network. Uh, you see little mushrooms begin popping up from under licorice's scales. Let's do this. Then the serpent queen continues and goes, who will claim the great bronze serpent, the one you call honeysuckle? Um, I look at Callie and I mouth me and Shruk.

Yeah, I feel like, I mean, that's who you summon when you remember to cast your spell. I mean, I already know his favorite food. I step forward and say, I pledge my life to honeysuckle I'll protect him at all costs. You see the great bronze serpent flies through the night sky this enormous starfire worm with rows of spiraling teeth the stars burn brighter and brighter and brighter until they once again explode. And in the explosion, you feel a tremendous earthquake as everything around you begins to shift.

There are mountains that pop up in the middle of these grassy plains, just begins destroying everything around it. And then the true honeysuckle bursts from the ground under you Calder you're like right above his the rows of his terrifying teeth of his giant maw goes out from under you pulls you up into the air and honeysuckle does not seem like he flies exactly but he moves through the earth like it's nothing. Like this dude could plow through a castle wall, could plow through a mountain, and even looks like he could levitate,

like sort of is able to like jump up and down the landscape, which like rides and moves with his every movement. Let's drill, baby. Ha ha ha. Nom nom nom. I rev the engine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha honeysuckle. And much like Sol and Licorice, you feel bound to this creature like you will live and die with it. And you even see the sort of dust and dirt covered scales begin to take on a more frosty look on the outside. Another brother. Frostquake. And then you hear the serpent queen

another brother. Oh, Frostquake. And then you hear the Serpent Queen again. And who will be responsible for the gold serpent, the one you call Marigold, whose life hangs in the balance? I step forward, sadly knowing that there's probably not going to be an actual manifestation. I will do it, my queen. You'll either see both of us again or neither. You see a constellation in the sky of the great gold serpent, but unlike the others that flew freely,

this one stays still. And after a moment, the stars turn red. And Kali, you see a glowing orb floats out of your chest, and this one is red. And you feel like your life is hanging in the balance much like Marigold's a sort of magical manifestation of what you're feeling about Saira and about the Golden Serpent. You see the Serpent Queen slithers out of the sky.

She looks from serpent to serpent and person to person. And now that you are soul-bound, you feel a warmth that was not there before. Now, instead of speaking to you like a queen, she speaks to you like a mother. Go, my children. Bring your sister home. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh, I did not see that coming.

Oh, wow. Happy ending. How fun is that? Yeah. Wow. Happens ever is that? Yeah. Oh, wow. Happens ever so rarely. Yeah. Does the Mother Serpent have a little baby snake for Kenna?

Yeah, yeah, Kenna can have a little baby snake. Baby snake. Snake. Just a little pocket snake, you know. You can have the copper snake. Oh, that's dangerous, be careful. Whoa, really? Oh, is that, yeah, that's an actual snake, huh?

Copper mouth, yeah. There you go. Wow. Watch out. Oh, she's instantly bit, okay. Woo, man, oh gosh. Murph, thank you, thank you for a vampire gift. Yeah. Oh my God.

You had such a look in your eye while it was happening. Yeah, now we know never to ask for anything. Yeah, it's true. I wanted to incorporate in a way. It was happening. Now we know never to ask for anything. Yeah, it's true. I wanted to incorporate in a way. It was like a classic, like, be careful what you wish for, comma, at what cost. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I was gonna- It was a monkey paw. Yeah, the monkey paw curled and then punched us in the face. I feel like there, we'll talk about this more on the show at rest, patreon.com slash natpod, that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D, don't sing yet.

That's right. But I'll tease it by saying, I did think there needed to be some levity after the end of last episode, because to directly just go into like, we're abandoned in the middle of Shadowfell, what do we do? Something kind of stupid needed to happen

for the show to be able to show up. It was the perfect level of stupid. Yeah. And that was Archibald Stunch. And hey, we did establish that there was a vampire party nearby. Yeah, and that was Archibald Stunch. And hey, we did establish that there was a vampire party nearby. Yeah, yeah. This is all unfortunately buttoned up. It's quite buttoned up.

Unfortunately, everyone is buttoned up. The pants are really tight. A ruffled shirt buttoned to the top. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I would like to plug, someone sent us to our PO box, Grinch dice box and I am in love I just so cursed so awesome thank you but it is so cursed I love it it's so hairy it's just a box of green it's a box covered in green hair no oh yeah it's just covered in Grinch care Grinch hair

Or purchase So yeah, maybe if I can buy them in bulk that's all I wanted I would say rather than made it was dreamed up I would say birthed materialized birth. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much to Alex E for birthing Yeah, thank you so much to Alex E for birthing that. Oh my God, it's so funny and I love it. Yeah, it's the most cursed item I've ever seen because it's just neon green and it just stands out in any room it's in. It's a conversation piece. Good Lord.

Yeah, it is a conversation piece, that's really nice. Yeah, that's definitely true. You have to have a statement. Yeah. I'll toss a couple other P. other PO Box shout outs in there. Celia from France sent us a beautiful watercolor painting of Duck Team riding licorice in his astral serpent form. So very cool.

Premonition. Wow, true faith bringer. That's awesome. Mercy Boucou. Raheel C sent us a Blu-ray of the East Blue Ark of One Piece, so thank you. We'ree Buku. Raheel C. sent us a Blu-ray of the East Blue Ark of One Piece. So thank you, we're all going to equally enjoy that. And then, oh gosh, this is very funny.

Abby S. sent us a Star Wars Episode III commemorative coin. Oh no. And it's like minted too, it's in one of those little like sealed houses. Is that the one I like? No. That's Revenge of the Sith? You've never seen Revenge of the Sith.

Oh yeah, you haven't seen that one yet. Episode III, oh, I thought that was the one that I- You've only seen episode one. You've only seen episode one. You're waiting for it to come back into theaters. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. Yes.

We can't do a mix-back about Attack of the Clones because you need it to be in theaters. Yeah, I do, I do. I said absolutely we will. One day we will, for sure, for sure. Anyway, I use this coin now. I flip it whenever I am deciding whether or not I want to watch episode three.

It's amazing. Which is only half the nights. I watch it every other night. It's like a gift for all of us and none of us at the same time. Could you imagine if that's really how it worked? That every night you had to flip a coin to see if you had to watch episode three.

How stressful life would be. That's a good surprise round. A great surprise round. This is a surprise round. Yeah, this is such a good scenario. Yeah, there's gotta be a trade-off. What's the power that would make it worth it? I really don't know.

Put that in the back of your Grinch costume. Yeah. Flight, definitely. Okay, yeah. If you could just jump 10 feet in the air, but you had to flip a coin every night. Every single night you flipped a coin. I think, no, I think I don't take it.

I don't know, 10 feet in the air is pretty cool. Yeah, it's definitely cool. Yeah, but not for that long. Yeah. I'd be so good at rock climbing. Would I be good at landing, though? Yeah, I's definitely cool. Yeah, but not for that long. Yeah. I'd be so good at rock climbing. Would I be good at landing, though? Ooh. Yeah, I think so.

I think with the jumping powers, it gives you landing powers. OK, cool, cool. The thing is, they'd still be like. You'd just roll your ankle every time. Yeah, I feel like that's what I would do. The only life you could make, I guess you could be an Olympic athlete or something.

You're right. I would be, oh my god, I would be in the NBA. You'd just be a basketball star. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you would be, though. But it would be tough if any of the competitions were at night, I would be, oh my God, I would be in like the NBA. You'd just be a basketball star. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you would be though. But it would be tough if any of the competitions were at night, you might be busy watching episode three. We still wouldn't be good.

What if it's in slow motion though? We still wouldn't be good. That you jump in slow motion. It wouldn't matter. That would be even worse. Jumping in the air, but it's slow motion. I think the NBA would still hire you. Yeah.

But it would just be the weirdest dogs. I don't know that they'd hire a 40 year old that had a 10 foot vertical, but dribbled like shit. I'm 39, I'm 30. It's the flubber rule though. It's flubber rules, where if I'm jumping eight feet in the air and they toss me the ball, and then they just gently float down to the basket,

I think this could really work. That is true, there's the flubber. I'm slowly hovering towards them. Yeah, flubber did have precedence. The NBA is full of people that can jump really high. Yeah, 10 feet though is ridiculous. This is a true surprise round. We'll save it for a surprise round I guess.

Alright, that's all from me. Thanks so much for submitting stuff to PO Box. Thank you all so much. You can follow us on social media there at mayorandayuse, at chmercme, at callediskaldwell, at aextradeanmily, and at chercourtesyjake. And you can tune in to the show using hashtag NAPOD, the N-A-D-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. It's the end of the show, and you know what that means? It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders,

starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord Happy 10 years, Axe Murph Later McSkater Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C.

Daniel G. Danielle the Dastardly Dane Beardman Dan Danny P. Carpe Liam Bryant, a mediocre DM Victor T. Bownor's Boy, Hoid's Friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJM, Trela the Crefe, Christopher B, Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Targot. Stevie Wags.

Hellish Rebuke-er, PhD. Princess Yar. Jory S. Rachel from Animorphs. She's back. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of every film ever made in Bohemia.

Samuel B. Mike H. Alka Smeltzer Plus. Great Value Jemma, Tyler F, Fightin' Favorites the Favorite Things Podcast, Nebadger, Panama James, Harajurian, Carboro Chapel Hill FPV, Rex Faniel the White, Cici Lulu, Old Cobbs dunkle, older burn. RQ Poirot, the rabbit folk detective. Timmy R, Braco, Calder comes cold.

Shout out to the cold companions. Frosty Facial, Taylor be the vengeful one-winged angel. Cass, strong, cringe. Steven, scientifically sees with ease. See? Mike K, Lady Taco and teaming credulity. Nick Wolf, William W, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, Eric McBee, Ananarama, Percival Frederick Stein von Musel Klozowski de Bolo III Jay Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock Reckless Starling Ben A. Dave H.

Dustin S. Danny F. Hucki Pierce Bookfire's assistant Izzy F. DPC is awesome! Hashtag honor the cock Shown, the shade tree mechanic of Zobeldar DCF, DPC is awesome, hashtag honor the cock. Shone, the shade tree mechanic of Zobeldar. Summer Rose, Grand Tare. Cat C, Mesa, of House and Zunza. Ariel, the occasional mermaid.

Selena and Valacyraptor. Bee, Perky, always. Pat L, Maxwell J, Lauren H, Serv 16, Annie the Feywild's Therapist, Skillful Ferret, Connor S, Saleel, Weed Goku 69 currently in orbit around Moon Number 16, Bio Quirt 7, Amber Dextrous, Bean Rat was innocent, Trub Hop Chopper, Jack Itch, King of the Mole, People Under, Iron Deep, Dressed in Blue, and finding his way through a bracket, style, tournament. Lindsey W, Vailin',

Posh the Bitchin' Bunny Bard, Carlin C, Noah the Bullywulk Boy, hashtag Honor the Cock, James G Boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G. Everything Bego the Eladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey. Daddy Master Dandy. Han. Eric B. Marcos learns the balance druid. Frieda M. Tracy P. the Cricket Hub Librarian.

Maggie S. Holly the Green Laughing Hyena, finally caught up to the Duck Team! Akash the Car, Doofinus, Cal just Cal, Erin B. Russell H. a Monk named Dilgo, Cody Care, Lorelai the Succubi, and Kira the succulent snuck. Your friendly neighborhood yawn and yonkle androids said John Adams the writing candidate for 2024. Meg the mail carrier manager of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them, turn to page 42. Keep them, turn to page 69. Shane C. Burpo, Good Barrel, Bird Berrien.

Welsh Linder, Garrett G., One Big Curd. Havy the Half Orc, Renee the Monster Captain. Box Clifton, Olivia the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the So opera cleric who are playing stick it to the man down with the monarchy. Winterslade, Fyko, Garrett the Artificer, Damon J, Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh H. The fairies say it's just me, oose. One day-ish. Yeet! Wow, that one felt like a really good code.

Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi H. No-Drog, the pass-of-fist barbarian. Geno T. John Luca. Tristan, the tal-less honk. Leon Comorey, legendary hero of a behemoth from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S., Alexander, Linz W., Angel La Pamela the forever vindicated, Pavu Eskinar, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile.

Tim M, a cat napping in a sunbeam listening to a podcast. MLG Cheeto, C Jam Hampton, Shelby Kenna's now first favorite sprite girl spending September in Malta celebrating cancer free by going to see the sweet blue ho! Jackson R. Snailus who's infecting Worcestershire for within. Official Ned Flanders. Memaw Sky Days. Oh it's me! This isn't the last you've seen of me! Megan N. Anthony B. Savannah H. Balnor's friend Steve, sorry, Balnor's best friend Steve. Stephanie of House Inzunza. Benjamin A. Gimli the Corgi, Papa and Foster's canine

friend. Mickle A. Josh Hull, pilot of the Nightmare Verse flight. The two crew blew through. Jennery, Ethan B, Maple the Shy Bookworm, Ashesaurus, Seth E, Billy Batson, Brian Murphy's evil twin, Byron Marpy, Michael Lyle S II, Jacob the Preveyor of Shenanigans, Nova Cry, Carl B, Parcel, Dex Rittlewell, Hannah A, Raw, Ace Dregs, High Lord of Kritzberg, Darius D, Troy's mom, Vin Diagram, GKC-T-T-T,

Catamelius, the Consumed, Bard of Holding, Clinton P., Cam the Frogman, Dean, Jake W., hi mom, Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure writer, not the porn star, Steve L., Alex G., Zibba the Bakery, Nicole, and finally, Katerina C. Thank you all so much for supporting us. We love you so much. And happy fall to all those who celebrate. Goodbye, sweeties.