Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 69: Siege at Summer Court Castle (A Faerie Tale Ending)

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Duck Team engages Jovyre's army and attempts to rescue the trapped Green Knights! Callie fights like a shooting star, Sol channels a froggy rage, and Calder avenges a fallen ally. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford."Sea Beast" by Emily Axford."The Feywild" by Emily Axford."Ode to the Archipelago" by Emily Axford."Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Trust the Gust" by Emily Axford."Apotheosis" by Emily Axford."Escape the Boy King's Brunch" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Today's episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Alienware. This season, Alienware has premium gear for every gamer's wish list. When you shop at Alienware.com slash deals, you'll have access to leading edge gaming PCs and accessories for powerful gamers. Enjoy fast, free shipping and long-lasting battery life to get the game going and keep it going. Alienware goes beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors and sports

minimalist designs with advanced features like Alienware CryoTech. Alienware's iconic designs, breakthrough engineering, and of course Intel Core Ultra processors unleash the best in you. Upgrade to the ultimate gaming setup this season. Get the gear to go all in. Shop now at Alienware.com slash deals. Alright, that's it for me. Thanks for listening and game on. Thank you for listening and game on. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahoomi everybody.

Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who, who, who, who? Yeah, I really wanna roll. The off mic fits on. Who, who, who, who? Murph loved it off mic, so he needed to bring it on mic. It absolutely crushed in the studio.

He just had like the cutest, most joyful response when we needed to make sure the audience got to see this soft, gentle side of Merv. It tickled Merv so much. I've never heard you giggle like that. When we're doing... He T.P.'d a genuine T.P. Nothing annoys me more.

The jokes during the audio tests. Because in five seconds we will be on mic trying to entertain people. And in that moment we need to make sure the audio levels are right There's no better way to make sure the levels are good with them by getting you pissed off That is true, it gets a really good diverse range of audio Well you know what, we can hang a little bit loose today because guess what, it's episode sixty now! Really? Yeah, good old fashioned suck and suck.

I'm gonna try to get laid. Are you really? This is the one. Is that a nowhere? I mean, my whole character thing is like, oh, I'm addicted to love and now I'm discovering I don't even need it, but. All right, but maybe you'll, yeah,

just decide you need a 69 to 70. It would be so good if you dropped the non-detection just so that the link could watch you have sex. Wow. Right, just to get in like a Tinder radius or something. Huge. All right, we actually probably should have gotten this out

during the audio test. I am your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Cup'd up and I suck. Gone through jail day. Oh my god. God's fucking flawless. What the hell was that? Good God, so good.

Oh my God. I had no idea. Yeah, if you're intimidated by that, I hate to find out what your rhyme is. Emily Axford. Don't you dare say cupped up. You can. Don't you dare say it.

She cannot. Go for it, it's fine. She's cupped up. You can. Don't you dare say it. She cannot. Go for it. It's fine. Cuffed up and I suck. No! Oh my god! You guys do suck. Cup-liopy, cup-liopy, petrical.

Oh, cup-liopy? You guys do suck. Yeah, petrical. Yeah, petrical. I was gonna say binded her soul to the fiery miracles. Yeah, the more times we can say cup in the name, the funnier it is. And then we've got cup-well tanner. Oh, you cut me off at the pass with that one. God damn it.

Cupped up, ready to fuck. Getting little kisses from a fish. Remember you started this. I did? You said it was episode 69. You invited this energy. You seconded it. You're not allowed to have any fun. You'll take was episode 69. You invited this energy. You seconded it. You're not allowed to have any fun.

Don't take it too far. Don't give us an inch. Should have yelled at you all. Alright, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time you passed out in the Shadowfell Sea, only to be awoken in a vampire's lair.

The barren archibald Stunch revealed that he had fished you out of the water as he prepared to make a meal of you. But just as he went to bite Saul, Albin and Mob Goblin burst through a wall and made the save, allowing you enough time to beat up a few vampires and escape onto the airship. Albin caught you up on everything that had happened, and you were horrified to learn that you had been in captivity for two days. You then went down to Ma Goblin to ask her if she could alter some cuffs you stole from the vampires into something you could use against the Fatebringers.

As she studied the item, you caught up on headlines from around the Feywild and learned that Joveir was spreading propaganda about Syrah. Callie's sister was being portrayed as a harbinger of the apocalypse sent by Oberon to destroy the Fae. Kind of actually cool though. Kind of actually rad. Eventually the airship reached the rift to the Fae Wild and Mob Goblin took you to Garrosh's castle in the sky.

There, Garrosh reassured you that Syrah wouldn't be killed until Jovir was crowned High Queen. He also theorized that Marigold was more likely to be charmed than killed outright. In order to rescue them, you'll need allies, so Garrosh gave you a rundown of possibilities. They include Bear Lane and the Automatons, Charbon and the Empire, and a force of Seelie Knights who had holed themselves up in the Summercourt Castle currently being besieged by Jovir's forces. They, unlike a majority of the Seelie court, had not declared for Jovir when Cirilla died. But before anything else, Grosh urged you to visit the Beastlands to request the full might of the Serpents.

You traveled there via Flower, where you found the Serpent Queen raging through the sky. After reassuring her that you'd get her daughter back, she came back with a proposition. If you were to unleash the full power of Honeysuckle and Licorice, you would need to bind your lives to them. Saul bonded to Licorice, Calder bonded to Honeysuckle, and Callie bonded to the missing Marigold.

Once bonded, the Serpent Queen looked on you as her children and told you to go get your sister back. And that's where we are now. Alright. Okay. So, you are on this endless plane of stars speaking to the Serpent Queen and then the night turns to day and you are back in the Feywild, flying through the clouds atop your serpents.

Saul, you are on Licorice, this enormous silver serpent, slaloming quickly through the clouds atop your serpents. Saul, you are on licorice, this enormous silver serpent, slaloming quickly through the sky like a snake through water. Calder, you are atop honeysuckle, who doesn't fly in the traditional sense, but seems to warp gravity to jump through the skies, essentially doing like a video game seismic double jump every time he moves. Whoa!

So just jumping up and you feel like pockets of air kind of exploding out as he rides. That's so cool. The forbidden frog technique, the double jump. This is awesome. Yeah, yeah, so Calder, you're kind of like you're on a mechanical bull or something getting bucked around as Honeysuckle

like jumps up through the sky, much less graceful than licorice to say the least. And in fact, Kali, as you are like falling, cause the sky suddenly released. Oh wait, Kali! You feel Honeysuckle takes you in with a gravitational pull and you are flung onto the back of his enormous bronze scales.

So he's got like a gravitational pull around him, seems like he has some skill that allows him to do that. Whoa. And licorice swoops down out of the clouds, seems to have something similar to Saul's step of the wind and flies down, you feel him go even faster than he was going, darts down and catches Kenna as you all make your way to Garrosh's castle.

Can I hold Foster up in the air and be like, have you ever been this high in the sky before? No you haven't have you? He's shaking his head, feeling the wind in his feathers. Yeah you see making himself really big, holding his wings out and his eyes are glowing red. Oh no. You feel power radiating from Foster. We've got a roller coaster kid on our hands. I think you'll feel better if you keep your eyes open. Yeah, they're tearing up. They're tearing up.

I think I'll just, I prefer being on the ground to be perfectly frank. You've got to have some goggles in that backpack. Oh, true, too true. Been too long since I was down at the mines. So he starts fishing through them, puts on these giant goggles that make her eyes enormous why she looks around in wonder do I look cool yeah you do you look adorable she definitely doesn't look cool but she does look adorable as you

guys pull up to the cloudy gates of garage's castle you see Alvin lying just in the courtyard. His clothing is just burnt by starfire and he looks all fucked up. And he just looks up. I was dead. What? I was dead. I felt like starfire just pulled me apart. Really? She disintegrated you. Yes, I think so. I think I died. Are you, are you all right? I don't know. Was it like, you've been going to town on that bug bite buddy. Yeah, you see a giant mosquito bite Yeah, it's neck. It's pulsating. Maybe it was just like a star fire Disinfectant, maybe yes, I don't know the bug bite still there though. Does it look bad you see it

It looks like an alien style like chest burster just moving God implanted eggs in you for sure Do you see it? It looks like an alien style like chest burster just moving in his neck. Oh God, it's implanted eggs in you for sure. I'm going to put my hand on this clearly like a mosquito egg sack and cast lay on hands. This is absolutely disgusting. But you see through his like translucent flared skin there, a mosquito the size of like a small dog is about to burst out you see

it shrivels up and goes down and the giant bite on his neck flattens and he looks normal and you see his skin kind of turns to its normal color and he stops sweating and he goes oh thank you thank you, thank you. I think we just potentially nipped a invasive species in the butt. Yeah, you see Albin kind of gets a grip on his surroundings and then looks up, holy shit, those things are incredible. Yeah, I feel like they've been powered up

by the bond we have with them. They look incredible, don't they? Yes, as you say that, you see magical magical birds the ones that were like kind of flocking to garage's castle up here Begin flying around the serpents and flying around you guys as you kind of like land in this Courtyard and Cal you see a fiery Phoenix kind of flies by gives you a long look and then fiery phoenix kind of flies by gives you a long look and then turns to steam as if to kind of give you a sign. Oh I thought that bird was trying to hit on you for a second but I think they're gonna go send a message to Siren. Yeah I

think so too. Oh that's a huge relief. How do you two feel like riding these beasts that you're connected with? You both look so natural do you feel like, do you feel different inside? It feels great I mean I've seen you two ride on the Serpents and I was you know always a little jealous and it's it's everything I hoped it would be. That's great. It feels incredible. I feel powerful and and more than that I feel ready to go and get Saira to get Marigold back. Yeah. Can you do what they can do? Is it that kind of bond?

Calder, can you jump fly? Calder jumps off of honeysuckle. Let's see. Calder quickly disappears through the clouds. No, no I can't. Hey. Feather fall, I said. Feather fall, I said.

You still cast Feather Fall. He knows how to Misty Step, he needs to learn. He's still gonna fall tens of thousands of feet. The spell will probably wear off before he hits the ground. Guaranteed death. However, Honeysuckle uses one of his new skills, which is a reaction, which is gravitational pull. Honeysuckle can pull or fling an ally 80 feet towards

or away from him as a reaction. This movement does not provoke opportunity attacks. So you see he pulls back Calder with his gravitational pull onto honeysuckle's back. The answer to your question is no. Let me pass out. I've got papers if you want to pass licorice down to Saul. You can look at honeysuckle here and Jake, I will share honeysuckle in the chat. Oh my gosh Oh my god, I can infuse key into licorice to let him do stuff

Oh, yeah, yeah, so let me go ahead. I'll give you guys a rundown So licorice has a little bit more power does bigger attacks, but a little bit less AC has 21 AC 397 hit points, has a bite, a slam attack, and a tail attack, and can do Starfire Breath, which potentially does 16 D10 fire damage. Has two bonus actions, Step of the Wind. Saul can spend two key points to give Licorice Step of the Wind

to do the disengage or dash as a bonus action. So Licorice is fast as fuck. You can also do a rapid recharge. Saul can spend three key points to attempt to re-roll Licorice's breath weapon die. After this ability, recharges it, can't be used again until after a long rest. So usually recharges on a five or six.

Saul can potentially re-roll that and get like two breath weapons in a row. after a long rest so usually recharges on a five or six, Sokka potentially reroll that and get like two breath weapons in a row. Honeysuckle on the other hand has a lot more armor class in HP, AC 24, HP 444. Yeah! As like licorice, a bite, slam, and tail attack and does an earthquake attack can potentially do 15 d8s of bludgeoning damage. Basically burrows into the earth and causes a terrible earthquake and then has a reaction gravitational pull. Honeysuckle can pull or fling an ally 80

feet towards or away from him as a reaction. We already talked about that. And then twin action surge when Calder uses action surge, Honeysuckle also gets an action. Whoa. These are incredible. Should the two of you fight right now to sort of like play test this? Right, yeah, we should probably just like spar a little bit. Please don't, no more serpent violence for now, please.

Wait, yeah, Albin, when you died, did you see anything? Yes, fire. Just fire, okay. Fire and then darkness. The Empire. I fire, okay. Fire and then darkness. The Empire. It's a sign. I don't know. Do you feel like you've been blessed by the serpent queen as well?

No, no, I feel like I got my ass kicked. Yeah. I feel like I absolutely got my ass kicked. It felt like a mosquito was going to be born out of my neck. Yeah, yeah, sort of like getting hit on two different fronts. There was nothing good about that. I know you all had a majestic time. I was just bad Yeah, that was zero out of ten. What do you need to get back to a place that you're happy with?

I this will take me weeks to overcome long after this adventure finishes I will be thinking of the egg sack that was in my back. You won't be thinking of how Kelly saved you I mean ultimately you've had a good day. You see, he drops to his knees and begins throwing up mosquito eggs the size of chicken eggs. Oh, no, they're still there. Oh my god, I lay on hands,

give it a poison. Other more, other more, you have to kill me. You have to kill me. Alvin, I'm sorry for how gross this is. Saul starts eating the eggs. Wow. No. Why?

Alvin starts throwing up more, just more mosquito eggs. Wait, this is so symbiotic for your friendship. It's the only way. You guys see as you try to help Alvin out, Garaash comes out of the castle and addresses you. Our first looks up at the serpents and goes well done And you were only gone three days. What three days?

Like an hour, I didn't even know that you wanted to have a sense of humor of humor let alone had fun. Me? I'm a little fun? Come on. I guess yeah. Uh huh. He's like a cloud. I guess we just haven't been like on that level yet. Really? So I just didn't even know to expect it from you. Oh okay. It was funny though. I liked it. Yeah thanks. I just thought I would do a little time travel planes hopping. It was fun yeah you got a little fluff. I enjoyed it. Yeah that was nice. Well yes that being said I have wasted some of your time here and we don't have a lot of it. Right, yes. We should have a chat.

Okay. Okay, yeah. He ushers you guys into the hall, begins walking and talking with you. And you see Ma Goblin has some of her tech set up. Looks like she's had people help her move her lab into parts of it, into the castle here. And Garrosh goes, I suspect we only have a couple days.

Jovier's trying to shore up allies and squash rebellion before she makes her move to consolidate the crowns. Who has she been successful in shoring up? What's the word on the street? Who's been shored? You guys know from what Garrosh had said last time that she basically has all of the Unseelie Court as she had before and 80% of the Seelie Court.

Right, okay, okay. A ton of them just as soon as there was chaos, just wanted structure and someone to take care of them and fled to the Unseelie Court. I wasn't sure if there was a new development. Not a new development, just the Seelie and Unseelie courts are essentially united under Jovir besides some pockets of rebellion.

And Garrosh goes, Ma Goblin can get out messages to any of your old friends on the Material Plane if you have anybody that you could think of that would be willing to lend a hand. But the factions here will need your direct attention. I can get you about halfway across the world in a day. That means I can get you to the summer court with the trapped green knights or to the autumn court with the automatons and Charbon. Can you conceal honeysuckle and the grish? Charbon can you conceal honeysuckle and licorice Looks out the window at these absolutely enormous serpents

No Okay, how do we bring them as a show of power or do we leave them here? We can park them nearby and bring them almost all the way and and valet them somewhere well, it depends on where you go. If you go to the Green Knights, there is a war about to happen there, a large scale battle with thousands of troops. Okay, so they would actually really benefit from you. So you would need them. With Charbon and Bear Lane,

you might wanna do the leave them in the parking lot deal. Go in and then call them if something goes wrong. Put some leaves over them. There's definitely no just walking into the castle besiegement situation. There are too many people to sword and shield your way through. Gotcha. OK. I'm definitely curious about what's going on in the Autumn Court,

but I think we have to focus on the Green Knights holding out in the castle. They need our help. Yeah. what's going on in the autumn court, but I think we have to focus on the Green Knights holding out in the castle. They need our help. Yeah. Yes, I would say that situation is a bit more dire. There are definitely lives at risk there. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anyone that either of you want to contact?

On the material plane? Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of people. We should write a bunch of letters, right? Uh-huh. Do you want to be in charge of writing? And we'll just like stand over your shoulders and we can dictate? Uh, sure. Yeah. You go right ahead. Um, I'll be the secretary.

Great. Okay, so we've got, uh, General Brod's beard. Slow down. Hold on. Okay. That wasn't G? No, sorry. You are being so precious about your... What? N-A. I was writing general. Okay. Jesus.

No, I was writing general. G-E-N-G-N-D-O-N-G-A. general. Okay. I was writing general. G-E-N-G-N-G-A. Calder crosses it out. Messed me up. Kenna takes the paper and begins writing to General Bronzebeard. All right. Well, we should probably contact Agnius and Elzar as well as all the Void Elves if we can get to them. Yes.

So you can just send out a call for help to essentially like Princess Shiverblight of the Living Wood, as well as the Void Elves, AKA the Crick Elves, Mimaw, Elzor, and the Deep Elves. What about Ursiah? Ursiah and the Elves of Sunere. You see Ma Goblin begin sending out distress signals and a message from you guys.

Can I ask you something, G'rash? Yes. It's kind of naive and sentimental, but I feel like if a lot of the Seelie Corps knew what Jovia did, they wouldn't be on board with her. Yes, and that's why I think it's important. If you were to save Summer Court Castle, you might win over even more people.

It's about more than just the folks that are holed up in there, it's a symbol. Okay, is there anything else we need to do here or should we just go to the- I mean if there's an active siege going then I feel a bit of a fire under my ass. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna fire off a letter to my brothers in the ice knife and then I'm ready to go. Right on. Okay. Yeah. So you guys have Mob Goblin, you have the sea elves of Sunere, you have the dwarves of Irondeep, you have the giants of the ice knife and you have the dragons and the elves and the denizens of the living wood and Mob Goblin sends out distress signals to all of them great

I send a thank you note to wave mother a corral L. Okay What do you what do you say Saul thank you so much for all of your tremendous efforts Your loyal companion Tremendous efforts. Your loyal companion. Sol Vufo. Wow. Wow. Sealed with a kiss.

Sealed with a kiss. I try to seal it with a kiss, but I just get the paper really wet because my mouth is so big. Mark Allen just goes, ill? Wow. If you've got some wax or something. Yeah, I was probably just going to like scan this. So you're just going to jam up my scan there.

Yeah, make a PDF. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less sexy, but OK. You licked the hell out of that envelope. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, so you guys send out your messages. And Gaurosh goes up to you guys and goes,

whenever you're ready to make your move, I will see that your trip is swift. OK. All swift. Okay. All right. Yeah. Um, mom, before we go, will you? We look in on Albin, I think you might be turning into a mosquito. Oh, you see, Albin is over in the corner, you see, he's a little beat up, you see his fingers like bleeding a little bit through some cut that he got while being eaten by the serpent queen.

And you see he's just like sucking it absentmindedly, but starts to seem like he's really getting into it. Oh my god. I think he's becoming a swarm keeper ranger. Okay, I don't fully want to know what happened there, but I don't know why. You all should not take him places. He belongs inside. He's an indoor kid.

I know, but he's so funny when he gets taken outdoors. Camping's not his thing. I understand that now. Oh, and I'll say that Grosh and Ma Goblin resupply you guys. We'll give Kenna 10 potions. Oh, nice. Ooh, thank you. That's nice. We'll use those I'm sure.

Ma, how's the lasso coming along? Well it's only been a few hours but I believe by tomorrow if you're going down to the autumn court as your sort of second mission I think I'll have something for you. Alright. That's really fast. I'm really impressed with your productivity. I don't try to enshrine productivity too much, but you are doing it right. Yeah, you see she's watching some kind of sporting event while she also is sending out all these distress signals,

while with the other hand she's trying to manipulate some kind of arcane device to replicate the shackles. Wow, she's watching a bloodborne speedrun. Unreal. Yeah, the one where he she's watching a bloodborne speedrun. Unreal. Yeah, the one where he's just wearing a pot on his head. Is there anything else that either of you need to do? I don't think so. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Let's keep moving. Yeah.

You guys go back out into the castle courtyard, mount your serpents, and you see Garrosh raises his hands above his head good luck we'll see you tomorrow hopefully definitely yes what am I saying sorry another joke cloud giant hey you know what you've got your head in the clouds bud I can't hear you over all this wind you see you guys hear that making the way yeah what no I don't think so you all this wind. You see- Did you guys hear that? You're making the wind. Yeah, what? No, I don't think so. You see, as you guys mount your serpents,

Garrosh raises his hands above his head. As he does, you feel the wind begin to pick up. His eyes turn white as the air seems to tornado around him like he's the eye of the storm. With a great burst of magic, he throws his hands towards you and you feel a godly gust of wind propel the serpents into the air as you fly with high speed through the face sky.

Ooh. And you guys are traveling, you know, halfway across the world here, but it's only gonna take you about a day, but you do have time. So you are aboard these serpents. How do you guys wanna split yourselves up? Obviously, Calder's on honeysuckle and Saul is on licorice,

but is there anything you guys wanna do to prepare as you fly towards Summercourt Castle? Ooh, I'm just getting ready. I'm just, I'm gonna cast a spell, but I just don't wanna say what it is till we like just start. Okay. Okay.

All right, so you prepare a trap for my bad guys. I just don't want to say what it is till we just start. Okay. Okay. Surprise spell. Prepare a trap for my bad guys. Well, it's not a trap, it's just something fun. Great, okay. Okay, so we know the castle is being besieged. Are we just showing up guns blazing? You see, Kenna looks down at the serpents. I don't know any other way to show up with these guys.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess if there's a little time, maybe I'll try to get in a quick swag sesh, do some meditating. OK. Yeah, you can try to regain your sports because you don't you don't have them right now. Yeah. I'll do wisdom save. Sure. You guys have time for essentially a long rest to top these serpents. The serpents will guide you.

If anything bad happens, you assume that they would alert you. Oh, that's not gonna do it. That's just a 12. You do not feel like you've overextended yourself. You opened up like a portal to the beast lands and then bonded with a godly serpent. I think you're a little tapped out. I'm out of spores. Kina, you're grabbing me really tight, by the way.

You're falling off the serpent. You are asleep, my friend. That's how you, I'll tell you when we'll tell me what to do. Kenner keeps you alive and lays you down to rest. Can I gather up a foster in my arms and say like, foster, can you feel Ollie? You see foster looks up like he's almost sniffing the wind or trying to sense him and then puts his head down sad. You don't get the sense that Ollie has died or anything, but you get the sense that Ollie is with Sire and they are trapped right now, far away. I'm going to try to make myself like cozy and cuddly to give him the

comfort that he's been giving me. Oh yeah you cuddle into Foster and he cuddles back to you and you guys comfort each other. I make myself as small as I can so that he can hold me. Kelly, Kelly, where'd you go? Yeah I cast reduce on myself so that he can hold me. Did she fall? Kelly! Pet me! It feels really good! I think she blew away! You see, yeah, Foster gets bigger, especially with the the power of the serpents here that he's kind of connected to, extends his wings out and hugs them around tiny Callie. As you guys think she's dying, Honeysuckle uses his ability, and this giant bird and Callie are pulled over to Honeysuckle on the other side. From this aerial view, I also am gonna like try to

just survey if we see in the distance, Marigold. Oh, Marigold? Yeah. Oh, like if she's in the battle? If she's out prowling or anything. Yeah, okay, okay. Yeah, go ahead and we'll say that you guys are starting to get close.

We'll say that you spend the whole day flying, licking your wounds from the vampire fights and the little encounter that you had today. But you are covering thousands of miles in that time. And you begin to get close to where the water meets the land where it becomes the summer court. The sun has set and it is turning to night. But everybody go ahead and give me perception checks.

That's a three on the dice. Okay. It becomes an eight. Fifteen. Okay. I'm too tiny. Twenty two. Okay. Yeah, I'll say you guys have stuff in your

adventuring pack. So you don't get close enough to see anything with the naked eye, but you're able to use your binoculars. You don't see any dragons in the sky. But as you get near Summer Court, near Summer Court, you begin to see hundreds of torches and bonfires outside of the Sealy Castle gates. And I'll say you pass around like the binoculars that you have, Kenna has some, starts passing them around and you guys are looking. You see the Summer Keep is an enormous, beautiful fairy tale castle. Tall marble spires that seem to glitter in the torchlight, giant stained glass windows with the symbol of the Seelicourt, an enormous orange sun

with flames that look to actually move. There are green banners and flags, but they are far outnumbered by the black and blue banners of the invading army. In front of the castle gates there are thousands of Wintercourt troops. They have war tents set up. It looks like they've probably been here since the summit, so a couple days. There are legions of infantry, artillery, siege equipment, knights on horseback, and griffins. They have not attacked yet, but the forces in the castle are trapped. The keep itself is being based on Garrosh's intel, is being defended by true green knights, ones that did not betray Cirilla. They're in the castle proper.

There are disconnected watch towers near the shore that have the banners up of the Winter Court. And as you guys approach, there's really no way for you guys to do this stealthily. You begin to hear screams from the Army as as you guys approach with these like giant beasts you see signal fires go up you hear war horns Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Okay. Oh boy. Okay, everybody go after the siege equipment Damn it. That's a net one Wow 19 for Calliope 18 18. It becomes a three, so pretty good. Okay, so as you guys approach here, you're flying in on two gigantic serpents. These warhorns are going up. There are legions of enemies. They are going to, basically as soon as they see attackers coming in from the air, they're going to

make a play to try to take the castle to defend themselves. Here's how this is going to work. I'm going to be using a combination of 5e combat and something inspired by Matt Colville's rules for warfare. So check out Kingdoms and Warfare by Matt Colville. I can assure you his system is much more fleshed out than what I'm doing here. Since there are so many enemies, we're going to be referring to them

by Legion. Each Legion gets a number of attacks equal to their power. They also get two reactions per turn. Engaging them in melee range provokes opportunity attacks as does fleeing without disengaging just like regular. There are four legions of infantry up front storming the castle. These are the guys on foot using battering rams and using ladders to climb the castle walls. They have a power of eight and do ten damage every time they hit. So four legions each one gets eight attacks. They have a plus to hit and then they do ten damage every time they hit. Behind them are two legions of cavalry. Typically cavalry would just be people on horseback, but I'm also counting like essentially elites. These are like the knights with magic

items and who might have crossbows or things to shoot up at the serpents, which the infantry do not have. They have a power of six because there are less of them, but they hit harder and do 15 damage on every hit. Then behind them are four legions of archers. They can attack anyone on the battlefield but have less AC than everybody else. They have a power level of 8, just like the infantry, and there are again four legions of them. Behind them are two legions of combined infantry and siege equipment, so catapults, ballistas, and soldiers to defend them. They have the worst attack bonus but do the most damage, so it's harder for them to hit, easier for them to miss. They have a power level of 6.

And there's two of them, so two legions of 6. Every time you do 20 damage to a legion, they lose a power rating, which means less attacks and one point closer to them dying. Once they get lower than half their original power, they will do courage checks each hit that are basically concentration checks. So they're converse half the damage of an attack. If they fail, the Legion breaks and is effectively out of the battle. They fled or are too wounded or they surrender. Then for the Green Knights who are defending the castle, you see that as your serpents begin approaching the shore and the war horns start going up,

the commanders from the different legions start sending their knights at the castle walls, but you do see green knights come up to defend it. The castle wall has an AC of 20 and HP of 800. At the end of every round they will try to rally to boost the walls HP. They will do a flat roll. The DC is the amount of legions that is coming after them. So if you can absorb some attacks for them or if you can kill some legions that will make the DC easier for them if they pass the wall gains back half Its life if they pass by greater than four they take out a unit of infantry from the enemy and gain back half their life if they fail by more than four they get a quarter of their life back and If they fail by more than that, they get a quarter of their life back, and if they fail by more than that, they do not rally. If you guys use any kind of ability, like a bardic inspiration

or something that would normally aid somebody, like a help action, that will add one to their role. So like if if Kenna were down there just spamming help actions, that would effectively, roleplay wise, be her up on the walls kicking dudes off of ladders and stuff and adding to that. Wow. Okay, acting first at initiative 20 are the legions of archers for the Winter Court. So you see as you guys approach, these war horns go off, these signal fires go up.

You see infantry men begin charging towards the castle gates. Two of the four legions are going to shoot up at the castle wall, just try to take out green knights on the wall up there, and then one is going to go after each serpent as they approach. Quick, saw, put your cloak of displacement on licorice. It's too small, I don't have time to alter it.

It barely fits over one scale and starts to break. It's like putting a vest on a dog, it hates it. Okay, so we'll do the eight attacks on Licorice first. No. I hate that. Four hits. Four hit. That is 40 damage to Licorice.

You see, start peppering into licorice's scales, but licorice is no little avatar anymore. Hisses throughout the air, just this roar that begins to bring starfire to his mouth as he begins to charge up. And Saul, you feel this inner fury. That's right, use it. Can I use my reaction to reduce that damage?

Basically, I grab one of those arrows. I will say you are linked to Licorice. I will allow you to do that. You almost sense it as it's getting near one of Licorice's exposed scales. They would do 10 damage, and I believe you could just take that out completely, right? Let me roll it.

I have to roll 1d10 plus 18. Oh, well then you got it. Okay, cool. Yeah, that math works out. I'll say you see this one little area that it looks like the archers were all targeting. They're all basically shooting from the same area. So you see this volley of arrows come up. Three of them hit this one area between his scales and you reach out and grab the fourth one, preventing ten damage there.

So just thirty damage total. Can I toss it back? No way. I toss it back? No way. Okay. Come on now. I tossed it anyway. Come on now. You toss it down.

There is a minimum, you have to do 20 damage or it does nothing. So you toss it down, you see it like meekly falls into the ocean. Oh, there it goes. Nice saw. That's one less arrow to worry about. Then volley of arrows towards honeysuckle. Honeysuckle's harder to hit.

A honeysuckle is AC 24. That's right. I see a one and a three already. That is just three hits for 30 damage. Okay, honeysuckle's down. Just kidding everybody. You see the way, yeah, honeysuckle, the way he jumps through the air

with his reverse gravity, it does seem like he begins to fall as he gets hit by a couple of arrows and it is concerning for a moment. But as you begin to drop, you feel his skills harden and you see the other five arrows just break off, like successfully hit,

but explode as soon as they hit him. And the fiery arrows just turn to smoke and go away Wow, good joke calder. I didn't know garage came along Okay So then the other two legions are going to keep their eyes on the prize and the archers shoot at the castle walls castle Walls are ac 20 so they just have to get an eight to do damage to the green knights on top of it 10 hits So 100 damage to the Green Knights on top of it. Ten hits, so 100 damage to the castle. Yeah, that's why they have so much HP and why they could rally. So this is, it's already looking

intense. You see, um, yeah, volleys of arrows and you see Green Knights falling off the edge of the walls here as the archers back up the infantry that are trying to ram down the castle gates. Kaliope, that is your turn at initiative 19. Okay, so what I want to do is like as we're getting close, I actually want to jump off of honeysuckle and onto a catapult or a ballista. And I want to attack that. Okay, hell yeah. All right. You dive off. You hear as Honeysuckle rides over these people and his gravitational pull is like

kind of wrecking the land under him. You feel like a shake and like minor tremors wherever he goes. You hear people screaming and infantrymen and soldiers yelling, the beast, the beast! As I'm falling, the spell I cast takes effect. It's one of my new magical secrets that I get as a bard. It's called Fount of Moonlight. What?

Cool light wreaths your body for the duration, emitting bright light in a 20 foot radius and dim light for an additional 20 feet until the spell ends. You have resistance to radiant damage and your melee attacks deal an extra 2d6 radiant damage on a hit. So I want the image of this to be like,

I erupt into light and then plummet like a comet onto their catapults. Oh my God. Yeah. I take my binoculars back out and watch. That's why I didn't want to cast it before cause I wanted to erupt into flames and land. Yeah, Callie, you are like a shooting star

with your lance just lit up as you jump down and you hear screams. The gods, the gods hate us! As this giant honeysuckle flies by with you jumping down, they are gonna get attacks on you. They're not gonna do their siege equipment damage. These are just the soldiers that are surrounding it. So they get a reaction as soon as you approach as a Legion.

So they're gonna try to hit you. Two hits for 20 damage. Okay, I make my concentration checks. Right on, okay. So you land down and as you do, all of these dudes are screaming, but there are so many of them that some of them have like literally Take like rocks from the catapult and start chucking them at you

This is like an ugly fight guys start grabbing at you trying to punch you or tackle you you get tackled by a dude And other guys start wrestling you down trying to punch you in the head I'm just gonna say to all of them I'm not here for you, and I'm just gonna start attacking the catapults and ballistas. Hell yeah, go ahead and make your attacks. This Legion has an AC of 18. That is a 22, a 32, and a 31. Yeah. Not bad.

You hit all three times. So yeah, I'll say you land down like a fucking comet on top of this catapult. You bust a boulder that was in there getting ready to shoot. It flings off harmlessly as you jump off and start fighting all these guys. Go ahead and do your damage. I'm doing two divine smites

and I've got all my extra radiant damage and I'm doing one bardic. Jesus Christ. Yeah, baby. You see, as you guys are riding on these serpents, there is just this explosion of radiant energy down where the catapults are. Callie, as you guys are riding on these serpents, there is just this explosion of radiant energy down where the catapults are. Callie, are you a god?

If you are, you have to tell us. 104 damage, and because I rolled a nine on my bardic, my AC becomes 28. Oh my god. So they had six power, and you did a hundred something damage. A hundred four. So you take five points away from them.

They're down to one. I'm going to say there's no way they can pass this courage check. They're going to roll it. The skies have spoken. They are punishing you for your audacity. Yeah. Okay. So you see this one siege Legion,

their catapults explode as Callaliope erupts with radiant energy Begins killing a bunch of dudes you see a bunch of them that are near the water here begin running away and jumping into the water This Legion is toast. Yeah rethink your life. Tell your friends Okay, and that will bring down the DC for the green knights at the end of the round. Now there are only 11 legions going after them. After Calliope's absolutely insane turn, you do see that there is another legion of- The heavens have spoken.

Of siege equipment next to you, and you see a bunch of those soldiers start running over towards you. I wanna, like, almost taking the barrel of a gun and putting it to my face. I wanna take the catapult and angle it at me and say, just fucking try. Uh, Saul, that is your turn. You are a top licorice here.

Okay, I see this go down. I'm like, holy shit, okay. Tough to follow, but let's do this, buddy. So I'm gonna turn to Kena and say, Kena, where do you need to go? Where do you think you can help? I could go down to the castle walls and just start freaking kicking ladders

and paving a dude's head with my hammer. Okay, great. I'm gonna drop you off after we do this. So first I want to do a fly by on the legions of archers and just blast him with starfire. Sick, okay so, Licorice is going to unleash his breath weapon, yeah.

You see fresh arrows in between Licorice's scales. You ride him down, you guys dip down and the archers begin to scream as you get closer and they get ready to knock another row of arrows. I will roll, save for them, you can go after one Legion with this. Okay. And go ahead and roll 16 D10.

Ooh! Fail. So yeah, you guys see Starfire explodes from Licorice as he rains fire down onto this Legion of Archers that just shot at him. That is going to be 92 damage. Fuck yes. Nice, dude.

You more than half this Legion of archers. They are down to three power. There are more archers in their Legion than there are in the siege. So now on future attacks, they will have to do courage checks to see if they disband or not. Awesome.

For now, that Legion still has three attacks. Okay, so once I do that, can I take an attack? You can then take an attack. If you're going to jump down though, they get opportunity attacks on you. Can I just like stick out my leg as we go by and just try and kick them? No.

Okay. Stunning kick. A drive-by kicking. You did, they only get three attacks now cause they're down to three power. I think yes. I'm going to, I'm gonna take my scarf off. I'm gonna tie it around Kenna.

I'm gonna say, Akrion is waiting. I gotta keep you safe. And then I'm going to do a little giddy up slap on Licorice and send him on towards the castle wall. Hell yes. Gonna use the key points to do Step of the Wind on that. Whoa. Disengage it. Okay, so yeah, so Licorice is able to disengage

and Saul, you stay with these archers who are trying to shoot out at Licorice and you just start fucking wailing on them as Kenna rides off. Before she can protest, you've already jumped off. Let's rethink this, guys, right? This is a bad idea. We can all agree this is a bad idea. We can all

They pull out swords some of them do others are scared we're talking about like dozens of dudes here So they're gonna be three opportunity attacks just as you get within range 21 to hit on one that is the highest 21 does hit now because, because I gave off my scarf. That is 10 damage to you, Saul. Okay. So I'll say again, this is like a really dirty fight. So you jump down, you kick over a bunch of archers, but another guy like tackles you and tries to like cave your head in with a rock. I like grab the rock and like kick it at another person.

So I'm just being like, this is clearly not working for you. You see they look around at their thousands of allies. We'll see, we'll for sure we'll see. Somebody punches me in the head. The heavens have spoken. Yeah, you see Licorice flies away. You are straight up in the middle of the battle.

At least Kali's on the outside. You are completely surrounded by thousands of enemies. Here we go. I'm going to do two attacks and then a Fluria blows. Great, so just roll them all at once. 14, 18, 31, and 26. 14 does not hit, but the other ones do. Okay, I'll use a key point to add a D4.

Okay. 17. That hits on the archers. Nice. All four hit. Okay, actually give me these. Normally. On the archers, yeah. All four hit. Okay, actually give me these. Normally I have you guys like add up your damage for your total damage.

Give me individual ones, cause these guys might flee. Okay. Ooh. Yeah, they have to do courage checks, which are like concentration checks. Okay. So yeah, Saul, you get up,

you're having this like fight in the mud, and you just kick this guy, basically kill one dude instantly, and then run over and just start fighting with a bunch of other units here. Yeah, I just like inflate my throat sack huge and start screaming as I'm just wailing on guys. Beast Rider, Beast Rider!

I like the sound of that. 19 damage. Okay, they'll roll a courage check. That's a natural seven, they fail. So this Legion breaks. You can do this damage to the next Legion. There are three more Legions of Archers. But the first Legion of Archers breaks.

So one Legion of Archers down, one Legion of Siege down. So you see the Archers see you like just kick the shit out of a few dudes just to go and just like twist someone's head off with a roundhouse kick And a bunch of guys just drop their bows and just run Just doing the black widow like leg strangled everybody Frog is so good against archers Arrows never get to him. I'm gonna do all the rest of the damage.

Yep, at 28 damage. Okay, so you do another unit of power damage to one of the archer legions. So that one is now at seven and then you got two more at full at eight. Gotcha. After Saul's turn, that is the infantry legions. They are at the front lines,

are trying to get in through the castle They don't have any way of attacking you guys. So that is going to be four legions of eight that is going to be Straight up 32 attacks on the castle wall. Oh Is it cool if I take some temp HP from messing up those legions? Yes Once you take out a legion, you could do temp HP beautiful Okay. Now I'm gonna roll my attacks for the infantry legions on the castle wall. Yeah, you see them throwing up ladders, you see using battering ramps to try to get through the archway, green knights are fighting them, trying to keep them off. 19 hits, 190 damage to the castle wall. Okay, that's a lot of hits. It's

gonna be an infrastructure project. Yes, so this represents not only the actual structure, but this is for them to essentially break the lines here and get in and infiltrate. They can breach the doors. They can breach the doors. Okay, so the infantry legions go after that. Calder, you are up with honeysuckle.

Right. You suddenly hear screeching in the air and see two wyverns fly out, air support for the winter court here, and begin trying to- Are you guys on our side? Ah! Ah!

Just letting out terrible shrieks, they have like man faces on, but are otherwise wyverns. Oh, they seem undecided. Oh. So that's a maybe. Listen to my pitch. They're both just gonna go at honeysuckle here. They begin stabbing down into honeysuckle

with poison stingers. 21 to hit misses. These things are like literally flies to honeysuckle who brushes them off, claws into honeysuckle scales, but they are just hard as a rock. Second one, the stingers, you see the stinger sparks against the bronze scales does not manage to hurt him. Om nom nom.

Yeah, these are like the mosquitoes we saw in the beastlands. Yeah. And then you see as that Wyvern fails to get in on honeysuckle, this other one is going to screech and go at you Calder. Whoa, what did I do? Just screaming face in eternal agony.

Takes one attack with his claws, Nat one misses big time. But then takes a stinger attack. You see this- The stinger is what I don't want. Yes But then takes a stinger attack. You see this. Yes, this venomous stinger like leaking this horrible ooze. That is only a nat six misses big time. So these guys are just fucking clowns. Okay. Can I spray it with DEET as a reaction?

Starts grabbing its eyes. After the Wyverns, that is Kenna's turn. You guys can see from afar, especially you Caldor, pull up your binoculars to kind of look at the battlefield You see that Kenna and licorice have joined the front lines of the green Knights you hear Cheers go up as the serpent joins them at first. They're like As soon as the green Knights realize that you guys have come to support them Oh no, the beast! The beast! The beast, the beast, the beast, the beast! As soon as the Green Knights realize that you guys have come to support them,

they start rallying and look excited. Kenna jumps down and is gonna join them. She will give them a plus one to their roles at the end of the round, as she starts fighting dudes up on the castle walls and pushing ladders off. Go get them, sis! After that, that is the Cavalry Legions. There are two,

both have six power so they get six attacks. So one will go after, let's say the castle wall, and the other one will go after Licorice, who is like hovering over the castle wall right now. So we'll handle the castle wall first. Okay, of attacks that is two hits, 30 more damage to the castle wall. They shoot crossbows up and more of the elites start climbing the ladders and getting in there on the front lines. Kenna is trying to fight them off and help rally the Green Knights. Then the other six are going to take shots up at Licorice. Licorice is harder to hit than the Castle Wall by 1 AC. Good. Three hits, 45 damage to Licorice.

Licorice shrieks in fury as crossbow bolts pierce his scales. After the Cavalry Legions, that is the Siege Legions. One of them is gone. And the other one is very scared of Callie right now. I'll say that there's still a commander there like yelling out for them to shoot the catapults. So they'll go half send infantrymen at Callie and half shoot catapults at the walls here.

Okay, so they're gonna shoot three catapults at the walls. One hit of the three, another 25 damage to the castle wall. Can I use my reaction? Cause I'm right there and rebuke the violent. You absolutely can. So they make a save, right? Yeah, they make a wisdom saving throw or they take radiant damage equal to what they just dealt.

Okay, fail. And with that amount of damage takes a PowerPoint away. So you see after the catapult flings a flaming boulder towards the castle wall, a radiant explosion comes from it. You see a bunch of the soldiers around it blow back from the radiant damage and the catapult is no more. I don't know if you're religious, but it seems like the gods are angry with you.

Ah! I would totally flee if I were you guys. I would totally flee. Meteor woman, meteor woman! It's meteor witch to you. Ah, meteor witch, it's even worse! Yeah, they are so scared. The gods hate them apparently.

Okay, they are, okay, so they're down to five. So they only have two more attacks, but some soldiers are going to run up and take cracks at you with their swords. My AC is 28. Yeah, no, they don't do it. Hey Murph, just a reminder, her AC is 28. Yeah, you easily parry the few soldiers

that managed to make it over to you. I think I'm going so fast, I do have a little like a comet tail. Hell yes. The Beauty of Witch! After the Siege Legion's Calder, that is your turn. You're a top honeysuckle, and you've got two wyverns snapping at you,

and then obviously you've got this whole nuts battle down below. I thought briefly about seeing if Calli needed to be pulled back onto honeysuckle, but I think she's good. I've got a new nickname, it's Meteor Witch. I salute Meteor Witch and I keep on riding. Then I'm gonna ride honeysuckle right into this calvary and check out the earthquake ability.

Oh yes, okay. So Calder, you ride past the siege equipment, you ride past the archers, and you see these like elite knights, some of them are glowing with like, you know, swords with runes on them and stuff, they've got crossbows out, they're commanding the other infantry units of where to go and everything, and Honeysuckle just dives down into the earth as he spikes down, he just swallows like 30 dudes who

are in the way. There is an erupting like seismic earthquake around him as he shifts the earth beneath everyone go ahead and roll 15 d8 bludgeoning damage and i will roll a save for this cavalry legion as everyone on the battlefield screams uh that is a fail amazing then they take 73 damage okay wow okay so you half a cavalry unit. Now they will have to. It's a half calf now. The half calves. Just like I ordered. Will need to roll courage checks now to see if they break on the next hit.

You guys do have to take attacks though as they approach. There is an opportunity attack that triggers as soon as you get close to them because there's so many of them. So they're going to attack Honeysuckle. Two hits, 30 damage to Honeysuckle. Honeysuckle just trugs it off. These guys look horrified. A bunch of their swords break on his scales. So now the cavalry is at half-calf. There is still another full legion of six. But Calder, you may take the rest of your turn. There is still another full Legion of six, but Calder, you may take the rest of your turn. That is just Honeysuckle who used up his action.

Sweet. So as Honeysuckle like burrows into the ground and comes out, I want him to like buck me off. And I want to flip through the air and call my bonded weapon right as I land. You know what? I'll say it now. I'm going to action surge. So I'll just take six attacks at these guys. And take it. You know what? I'll say it now. I'm going to action surge.

So I'll just take six attacks at these guys. Oh my God. And honeysuckle gets to take an attack. And honeysuckle will get to take his three attacks. This is insane. So yeah, honeysuckle dives down, burrows under the ground, causes a terrible earthquake, destroys a bunch of this cavalry, hops back out.

Calder jumps into the night sky. You see he holds his hand up, snow begins falling out of the sky almost in slow motion, flakes around you as a sword of ice appears in your hand and you launch down and just start Omni slashing motherfuckers. Yeah! I like to imagine this sword is glowing just a little bit

from Callie's light across the battlefield. The meteor witch. Yeah, you got some moonlight. Okay, that is a 30, a 29, a 14. Okay, 14 does not hit, others do. Another 29, a 25, and a 27. Give me the first round of damage because this cavalry unit might break before you do the other damage.

Gotcha. That's 18 damage. 18 damage from one attack. Okay, so they will roll a courage check. Have to get a 10, they get an 11. So they do pass. So they stick around. Go ahead and give me your second attack.

15 damage. 15 damage. Roll another courage check. They pass, but you take out another unit of power. They are down to two. Give me the damage for the next two attacks. 14 damage. Matt, three, this line breaks.

Woo! This half calf is a no calf. Caffeine free, baby. This cavalry unit runs away. What's the point of you? And you still have two more attacks of damage. You can do those to the fresh Legion if you want. So you and Honeysuckle turn and just attack the other Knights. Great. That is 31 damage

with my last two attacks. Okay sick. Okay so you take out another unit so the cavalry here only has five attacks. Now honeysuckle gets to go. So honeysuckle bursts out of the earth and go ahead and you can reroll to see if you recharge your earthquake. Five or six on the D6. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, baby. Omnom indeed.

That's a five. Yeah! You don't have to use it now, but you can. You see star fire emerges around honeysuckle and he looks like he has the power to do it again if you would like. I mean, why not? We came in guns blazing.

Yeah. Hell yes. I want these wyverns to fly away in fear. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead and roll me that 15 D8 again as soon as he dives up for air for a second. Oh no! Dives back down and there is a enormous earthquake.

They will do a save. This Legion legitimately rolls a nat one. Yes. Fuck yeah, that's 70. 70 damage. 70 damage. Okay. They are down to two. The next time they get hit,

high chance that they end up fleeing. Okay, so barely any cavalry left. Seismic earthquake starts to break the line. You see a bunch of the knights are separated from the other ones. The landscape is shifting, so there are natural walls that are coming up that are sort of blocking you guys

and just making it tougher for the enemies out here. Hell yeah. And one last thing I'll do is use the Helm of Ultras with my reaction, command an ally to melee attack. Okay. Yeah! And I think I'll command the Meteor Witch. Oh, really? Kelly, fuck him up.

You fuck yes. Yeah, I'll say you have, since you're attached to Honeysuckle, and he's this great monster now, he is able to like echo out a great ah, nom, that channels the power of the helm to Calliope across the battlefield. Woo!

It's a 19 on the die. Definitely hit to attack more of the soldiers that are near these catapults. I'm gonna do another fourth level smite. Sounds like a shower to me. My God. Put your eclipse glasses on, everybody. 58 damage.

Whoa! Okay! Okay, you take out another two power from this Legion. So Kali, you cut down a bunch of dudes that are trying to load up another catapult and you see the commander is just pointing at you for them to go after you next

time and to stop going after the wall. The meteor witch! stop the meteor witch! Why don't you read The Futures and the Stars and I think it's over for you. Yeah, they look up and they just see honeysuckle and licorice overhead. Just screams of terror everywhere. There's a chance for you to make a new alliance.

If anybody was coming into this context list, you guys would look like the bad guy. You just rode in on giant monsters and just started killing everyone. You can't reach your fate in the stars for they have fallen Okay after Calder's turn that is the green Knights turn yes ride to rally there we go the Wall is at four hundred and fifty five HP. They could potentially get some back. They're almost at half HP. So, you know, another round of the damage they've been taking and it might go down. So hopefully they can rally. You guys get a plus one to this because Kenna is helping them out. It's only a DC9, so an 8 or higher, and they can rally and get some HP back for the wall. And if this goes badly, they could potentially not get any HP and the wall could come down next round.

So let's go ahead and roll this. We want an eight or higher. It's Murph rolling too. Yeah, we certainly want Murph to roll it. Oh, shout out. Shout out to the two crew. The green knights do not rally. The wall stays at the same HP.

Why not? We gave them a reason to rally. You definitely did. This is not enough for you. They're definitely fighting thousands and thousands of dudes. That's fair. Kenna, what did you tell them? I'm definitely fighting people.

You see, yeah, a bunch of Green Knights are rushing to the top of the castle wall, firing like volleys of arrows down. There's like halflings and a ladren, gnomes and goblins in their green plate swinging these like magically enchanted swords and stuff. A lot of them are paladins and fighters trying to fight off these guys that are trying to climb up onto the walls, but the enemy is gaining ground. At the top of the round, that is the Legions of Archers. So there is one that is just up there with Saul.

They're definitely just going to train swords on Saul. So seven attacks onto Saul. Eesh! Five hits, 50 damage. Okay! All right. Doesn't feel very good. Then the other 16 are gonna shoot volleys of arrows at the castle wall. 12 hits, 120 damage to the castle wall.

Oof. Yeah, you see a bunch of the green knights that were up there fighting get shot with arrows and fall back as more of the infantrymen get up on ladders. You see the battering ram begins to take out the castle door. Castle door like breaks down, but there are a bunch of knights waiting and they start just fighting with swords and fists and shields right there in the middle of the battlefield. Howdy, NAD polls. Colble here to talk to you about Rocket Money. and shields right there in the middle of the battlefield. have. I know I can't and I'm not alone. I just learned that over 74 percent of people

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just go to squarespace.com slash pawpaw to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That is squarespace.com slash pawpaw to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Thank you everybody. After the Archer legions, Kaliope, that is your turn. Okay, can I take it hit by hit because I want to get to Sol? Yes, definitely.

Another fucking 19 on the die! That definitely hits. These dudes are screaming, they're so terrified of you. 49 damage. Alright, so the check is half of that so 24 they need it I'll say only in that 20 and they don't they get a 17 which is pretty good so they try to rally but you see a bunch of them just like erupt into fire as they get near your starfire lance and they start running off another Legion down. The siege equipment has been abandoned.

So you do see that there are some catapults here and stuff that you could feasibly use, but honestly, the meteor, which might be stronger than the catapults. I want to now run and get back to back with Sol. Hell yes. Okay. Here is what, oh wait, yes, archers are next. Yeah, archers are the next thing.

So you run into the mix as you get near though? They are going to get opportunity attacks my AC is 27 because my defense is okay, so they have to get 15 so seven attacks as you run into this legion of archers trying to get to Saul yeah You see they've pulled out short swords And they're fighting Saul next to lines of other archers. And we'll take attacks as you get close. Those swords are too short. Still two hits.

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna let them go through. Just 20 damage. I'm gonna use my reaction as part of my fount of moonlight. And they have to make a constitution save or be blinded. All right, so they've got a plus zero to constitution. These are just archers here. So what are they trying to hit? 18.

That is a 10. That's right. So now can I use my other two attacks? Yes, so now you have your other two attacks. Because they have the blinded condition, you get advantage. Fuck yeah. Yeah, so these guys grab their faces as there's this flash of starfire in them. Okay 23 for the first but I miss with the second one I think because it is 18. 18 hits. Yes! They have 18 of 16 so two hits.

Alright. I'm doing two third levels Mike. Hell yes. This is a really special moment. I do 69 damage. Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! On our 69th episode, the heavens have spoken! You break down.

Happy anniversary, everybody. You get this Legion down to four of its original eight. They will start doing courage checks now when they get hit. Yeah, you've done this burst of star fire that makes them grab at their face and you start cutting through a bunch of them and as you do 69 damage, you see the little flower pops up on the battlefield, on one of the dead bodies

and goes, nice! I give a thumbs up. Gives you the middle finger. Oh yeah, dude. All right, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I give a thumbs up. It gives you the middle finger Pops back into the ground after Klaipi's turn Saul that's your turn all right Yeah, you are around these four power archers in this one legion. It's also gonna little hurt, but I think that all of the blood that he has shed and all the blood that he has caused people to shed has just caked him.

So he looks like just a red frog with bright shining white teeth. What the fuck? What is this guy? He's like out of a horror movie. Oh my God. Behold, the meteor witch, the seismic sorcerer. How do I know?

Because I'm the weatherman, and I predict your doom! Oh fuck, it's a meteorologist! The weatherman comes. And I am going to throw caution to the wind and do four more attacks. Hell yes. Yeah, you just get in there bloody and beaten up and just start pounding on dudes.

Yeah. I think that all of the blood that my spores are drinking is like causing me to like glow red almost Yeah, it's all turning like bio luminescence. Yeah, and you see licorice is like getting the blood lust up in the air We need it right now. I finally know how to hiss 22 hits 24 hits 20 hits and then just the 13 misses. Thirty seven damage. OK, you take out another one and we'll say they'll do. So you did 20 damage.

That's sort of the threshold that takes out another power. And then against the remaining 17 damage, they'll do a courage check to see if this Legion breaks. Nice. Alright, the archers get plus zero to this. So they need to get a 10 or higher. Ooh. Because it's concentration rules. 13.

So they pass. Silvery barbs. Silvery barbs, alright. They both go in a roll. 16. Ah! Damn, would've felt nice. Damn.

Yeah, would've. Yeah. The dice tell their story and the dice also sometimes just say, go fuck your story. Sometimes the dice say nah. Yeah. Yeah, you have this super brave moment, you kick a bunch of people's asses, and for no reason these minions keep trying to kill you.

What you fear? I can still drink a little bit of their blood and get some temp HP there. Definitely, yeah. Yeah, you took out some of the units within the Legion here. Cool. Okay. After Saul's turn, that is the infantry Legions. They're just up on the wall.

They're just trying to get in 32 goddamn attacks on the wall. Does Licorice go when Saul goes? Oh, Licorice goes! Yeah, what are we forgetting? What do we do? What do we do? Oh my god! Yeah, what would you like to do with Licorice goes! What are we forgetting about Licorice for? Oh my god! Yeah, what would you like to do with Licorice? So, Licorice flies, and Licorice flies fast as fuck.

So, um, Licorice can get anywhere on the battlefield you would like. Okay, I'm just gonna have him bear down on the legions trying to climb the wall and siege it. Sweet. So I feel like Licorice, like, swoops down, like, parts all of the green knights on either side, sticks his massive head, like, straight down, and just blasts Starfire. Okay, so if you want to do the Starfire, you did it last turn, so you gotta see if it recharges. So roll me a 5 or a 6 on a d6. Okay, come on!

Five! Oh, wow! You guys are getting lucky! Good for you! Yes! Starfire emerges as, like, a ball in Licorice's mouth. You hear a bunch of the enemy knights scream as he fires down like in front of the archway

that the enemy combatants have just broken down. Wow. Back off. 95 damage. Wow, dude. Oh my God. Okay, that is going to take out half of a Legion. So the next time they get hit,

they will start doing courage checks. You've just taken out four attacks. So yeah, I'll say you kind of clear the path in front of the archway that's just been broken down where guys were about to rush into the castle. And now you see green knights begin to run out of the castle and begin starting to take like an offensive position fighting some of the infantry men up here as they rally.

I'm back to back with Saul, and I'm just like, you are so fucking go with the grip. Really? Yes. I mean, I think I'm just doing what you're doing, right? No, you guys have such a good connection. I just, I don't know. I'm thrilled.

Again, I just think of him as my tongue, as an extension of me. That ruins it, doesn't it? I just I don't know I am thrilled again. I just think of him as my tongue as an extension of me that that's that ruins It doesn't it I'm gonna Rewind pretend I never heard that As Saul keeps talking foster just starts flapping so loud next to him that you can't hear After Saul's turn that is the infantry legions turn After Saul's turn, that is the infantry legions turn.

Infantry doesn't have ranged attacks and Licorice is able to do it range. So they can't go after Licorice. They're just gonna keep rushing out the castle walls. Honestly, kudos. That's kind of brave. Kudos, yeah. They're definitely kind of brave in their own way. 28 attacks on the castle wall coming.

15 more hits, 150 damage to the castle wall. So you do see more run in past Licorice who is just like down perched over the gate and they are engaging with the green knights that are out on the front lines now. Castle is now at one hundred and eighty five HP. Basically, once the castle goes down, then the number of knights lost on the green knight side, it's got a skylock.

It goes up in multiples of 10. It's like it'll become a massacre at that point. Oh, OK. After the infantry legions, that's Kenna's turn, Kenna's up on the wall helping the knights. Cavalry legions are next. There are only two units left in this legion. So they're going to make two attacks, and they're right there with Calder. So they will make two attacks on Calder.

Oh, God. You should run away at this point We're kind of winning points up at the half destroyed wall, but not here not true true true But we're more about you know the war than the battle all right the fight You know the war to the battle the battle of the fight Like we're saying the same thing yeah one of them stabs you in the ribs. 15 damage, it misses with the other attack. We were talking. Fuck you, fuck you and your snake.

After the cavalry legions, that is the siege legions who are dead. Good boy. Then that is Calder's turn. Calder, you've got one kind of scared cavalry legion, a half calf, if you will. All right, cool. Then that guy that just stabbed me in the ribs,

I'm just gonna turn step off honeysuckle and land on the ground with a hard thud right in front of him. Break the spirit. And I'll take three attacks. Hell yeah. I hope that does it. That's a nat 20, I'm gonna burst attack.

Just give me that damage, cause you very well might kill this guy and scare the other one. 22 damage. That for sure takes them down to one and they will do a courage check to see if the remaining knights stay. Need a six or higher.

That is a nat one. They fail. So the one who just stabbed you with a sword in the ribs, you straight up cut his head off and then the other knights just like pull up their horses and just begin trotting in the other direction. I give them like a toot-a-loo wave

and I misty step back onto Honeysuckle. Oh hell yes, and you still have two more attacks and Honeysuckle has all of his attacks. So who would you like to go after now? I'm gonna go after that infantry that's doing all the damage to the wall. Okay, so you do see the infantry were starting to get cocky.

They were like war horns going up and they were cheering as they were starting to take the castle wall. They treated me like a fucking tailgate. Taste them some respect, Calder. I put my finger in one of the war horns and I say, come on. Come on.

What? Come on, do you want a beer? What? Have a little class. I thought we were partying, are we not? People are dying. Find out what kind of beer it is. We're taking this castle.

Just say, I mean, just see if there are hot dogs. I do see one guy who's grilling hot dogs. Oh, garlic grilled cheese. Would it kill you to give me a hot dog? Yeah. Give me a hot dog. Calder takes a hot dog. But really what actually happens is, yeah, you see these green knights have engaged the infantry on

the front line because the castle doors have been like broken through like these great gates. But Licorice has backed up the green Knights and breathed a bunch down onto them. But then the bad guys have rallied and sent lines of infantrymen at the Green Knights, sort of pushing them back. But then Honeysuckle bursts out of the ground on the other side of these infantrymen who all start to scream about the beast

as him and Calder emerge. Right on. Should I roll and see if I get the earthquake back? Yeah, go ahead and five or six, you get an earthquake. That's a five, baby. Yes! The heavens have spoken, Kalaifi says, and this time she kind of believes it.

Do you want to go after a fresh Legion or the one that's at four? Ooh, let's go after the one that's at four. She's trying to decimate somebody. All right, great. They will go ahead and roll a check. And I'll say, if they fail this, once you hit a certain threshold,

they're just gonna break. They're just gonna leave. Okay, they fail. It is pretty much impossible for these individual legions to save against the serpents. And that is 75 damage. Okay, you fully destroy three more points of power and there's only one left in this infantry.

Literally no way for them to succeed on a courage check. So this one is going to break. You fully come out of the ground, huge seismic shift just straight up shifts the battlefield so that one of the legions of soldiers just falls off a fucking cliff into the ocean. Oh my God. Whoa.

Tailgate's over. Can I grab a horn before they leave? Hell yeah. No, no, no. You do the great honeysuckle call. You hear cheers from the green knights up on the wall. More of helm honeysuckle. Oh, and I have two more attacks,

but is anybody there anymore? Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's three more legions still. All right, cool. That is, oh wow, what a way to end it. That's a two and a one on my diet. Okay. Yeah, you spend too much time blowing the horn,

get a little too cocky. That's fair. The horn makes you cocky. Yeah. It makes you do stupid things. It certainly does. Okay. Drink a beer through the war horn. I shout from afar. I solemnly do that. After Calder's turn, that is the end of the round and that means the Green Knights are going to try to rally. The

DC is going to be a little bit easier this time. The amount of legions they have going after them. Only six legions left. You guys have halved this army. You are crazy. Okay, they can still roll bad though, because Kenna gets them plus one. They need to get a five or higher. They can still roll catastrophically bad. And here's the deal.

They're at 185. So even if they succeed, they'll get back half their life, which is only like 90 HP, okay? It doesn't give them full of their total. They just rally with what they have left, okay? I mean, we can always roll bad. Yeah, you can always roll so bad and just nothing happens. That is a nine, which is good in this case.

Okay, okay, okay. So they do manage to pass and they get back half their life, which in this case is 93 life. I'll take it. I'll take it. Okay, so they're up to 278, which is a lot better than 185. Yeah. And now that you guys are all getting closer to the wall,

as the Green Knights rally, you see that up on the front lines here, now that the gate has broken down and the two serpents are on either side of the enemy line, you see that there is one halfling knight in a full green plate. He has not unlike Calder's old helm, he has like a helm with like staghorns on it.

And he is fighting like a whirlwind, like throwing invaders off of this cliff that Honeysuckle has just created and just rallying his troops. Looks like he was the one that led the charge once the gates went down and you hear a bunch of knights behind him yelling, the young stag, the young stag!

Wow. I love this guy already. I tried to catch his eye. See if he's seen all the cool shit we're doing. The lady that's glowing. Yeah, I think he can see her. I wonder if he's still going, stag. He looks up and he gives you guys a like cool guy nod.

Fuck. Oh shit, I tried to do a cool guy nod back go ahead and give me a a performance check with advantage that's a 29 whoa okay I out cool guy I'm you give it even cooler cool guy nod back and you see he shifts to do like an oh Nod. We're in, Saul. We're in. Nice. What are we in? Like, in the good graces, socially. Okay. After the Green Knights rally, that is back to the archers. Okay, so there is one legion of archers with just three power left.

You guys are all up in the mix there, so they're gonna attack you guys with disadvantage. They still have the condition from being hit by Kali's flash of light here. And I'll say there's just one attack on Saul and two attacks on Kali. So with disadvantage, with on Saul big time, with disadvantage, with on Kali big time. Nothing from that Legion of Archers.

The other 16 attacks are gonna keep volleying arrows at the castle walls trying to break through. 11 hits, 110 damage. The wall is now at 168. You see a bunch of flaming arrows go up, another volley. Even though you guys are doing a ton of damage to them, they are doing a ton of damage to this castle. And again, even if you win this battle, if the castle falls, that is a symbol of the Seelie courts that will be lost and they might not be able to rally more allies to their cause. After the archers, Kaleiope, that is your turn. Okay, I'm going to take my first attack trying to get rid of this these archers great. Yes There's just three power left in this one Legion, so they will do courage checks for every bit of damage

25 hits go ahead and do your damage nice. I'm gonna do a third level smite 41 damage Wow Okay, so DC 20 courage check fail one. They literally piss and shit themselves and run and jump into the ocean. Now can I run to do my next two attacks on the people attacking the wall? Yes, so there are archers that are attacking the wall and there are three infantry legions that are.

The archers just went though, right? The archers just went, yes. So I want to go for the infantry. That is smart. Yeah, so you run up into the mix next to the young stag and all of these green knights that are shouting and rallying A 27 to hit and a 17 to hit. 17 does not hit. I will use my luck blade. Okay nice Yeah, so you're using luck blade as off hands. 18 to hit. 18 hits. Yes. Okay. Okay. There we go I have a six level spell and I'm gonna use it

to do a max smite, which is still technically only the fourth level. Sweet. Oh, and I have a fifth level spell. Okay, so two four level smites using a fifth and a sixth level. Sweet. 79 damage.

Huh! Okay, you take out three power and this infantry unit is down to five. So only five attacks from them next round. Oh wait, I think I have been forgetting to do some opportunity attacks as you guys approach. Callie, as you run up to this infantry unit and engage them, they are going to get opportunity attacks.

What was your AC at the start of the turn? At the start of the turn, it was was 27 and then now it's 24. Okay, so 27 is what they're trying to hit, which is gonna be really hard for them to hit. One hit on the eight attacks that they took, because it would have been all of them at the beginning of the round, for just 10 damage. Okay, I will use my reaction again

to give them the blinded condition. Shit! Okay, another burst of starfire. Do they do a roll? Concei. Good God. You have to learn your lesson. How dare you touch her!

They fail. Yeah. The meteor witch! Look not into the eyes of the meteor witch. Would you stare at the sun? After Kaliope's turn, that is Saul's turn. Okay, so there's two legions of archers left? Yep, and three legions of infantry.

Okay, I'm just gonna polish off these archers best I can and then move towards the infantry. So as you get near the archers, they get opportunity attacks on you. Of the eight, five hits, 50 damage. I'm all right. Okay, hell yeah. Oh, wow hits, 50 damage. I'm all right. Okay. Hell yeah.

Oh wow. So yeah, just this bloody mess, but just gets more and more angry and turns more bioluminescent in animal life. You can't even tell where he's bleeding from anymore. It's just all blood. Ah, the weather man. That's right.

Fear the weather man. There's gonna be horror stories, like folklore based on you guys after this fight. Can you hear it? Can you hear the storm coming? Daddy told me. He's predicting a bloodbath. Go ahead and make your attacks. All right, cool.

17, 20, 27, 26. All four hit. Hell yeah. Forty-four damage. Okay, you take another two units of power away from this Legion, they are down to six. Okay. And now Licorice may act. You can actually roll, guys, you have not gone a turn without using their breath weapons, which is fucking crazy.

Yeah, dude. I know. And Saul even has a mechanic where he could potentially recharge it. He gets a reroll once a day if if he succeeds. All right, let's keep the streak alive. Do it Fuck for okay. Do you want to do the key recharge or do you want it? Okay? I'll do the key charge Okay, so Saul is going to spend what is it three key points to attempt to reroll Ligurh's roll So you see Saul you begin to meditate and try to connect. You see as Saul is bloodied on the battlefield

and is reaching almost this like barbarian trance where he's able to fight better as he reaches this primal self. You see Licorice begins to look like this great hunter, just like eyes begin to like narrow and it's not even anger, it's just this like primordial rage. Yeah. I feel our hearts beating as one

and I pour some blood into my mouth. Oh dude, now you're freaking me out too. That's a three. Okay, so the key points unfortunately are wasted but Licorice can still do a ton of damage. Yeah. Yeah. I do want to point out that these sheets Murph printed these on are stained red. Yeah. Yeah. Our magenta cartridge is fucked. It's thematic. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I think licorice is just gonna like slither down the wall and start chomping all of these infantry down here. Right on. Okay.

Make rolls for the attacks. I've got the damage for you. So there's a bite, a slam and a tail as Licorice just jumps down and just starts attacking the front line of the enemies. All right. Oh, I was like, oh, seven plus 17 to hit 24 for the bite. OK, so super hits. He does 26 damage for the bite. Okay, so super hits. Uh, he does 26 damage on the bite. So you see, uh, just swallows a bunch of the infantry, takes out another unit of power. 31 for the slam. Okay, 31 for the slam is no fucking joke.

Takes out another unit, and then is going to need to do a DC 15 Courage check. They get a plus two to this, so they need a 13 or higher. And they do pass, so they stick around. And then still has a tail swipe. Okay, let's swipe it. 22. 22 for sure hits. You see, tail goes up and hits like a row of dudes

that were climbing up ladders to get under the wall, just knocks them off. That does just 12 damage, but they do have to just roll a flat 10 courage check to try to save, and they pass, so they stick around. After Licorice does this, I look up at the heavens towards the celestial snake mother and say, are you proud of me, mother?

The scariest thing for a guy covered in blood to yell. You see the stars in the sky turn red. Blood red sky tonight. Okay, I was like, I can't be scary before, but wow. What the actual fuck? I do think that the heavens have an opinion about this battle. Red start morning, soldiers take warning. Alright, so that is the infantry legion's turn.

The one legion with three has no choice but to go after Licorice now, because Licorice is up in the mix here. Oh, actually, Licorice would have taken some opportunity attacks as well, as he engaged with melee. Two hits on Licorice for 20 damage. Okay. So a couple of them stab in before getting struck down. And then these infantry legions are going to go. This one, Legion only has three attacks. They are going after Licorice. Three hits, unfortunately. Just 30 damage. They do 10 damage on each hit. Okay. But he is tanking for the castle. So that's three less attacks on the castle.

Now they get 16 attacks on the castle. But previously they were doing like 32. So you've got to hope if all of them hit, they can almost take down the castle wall. So just got to hope for a couple misses here. Yeah, real bad. Okay, 90 damage. Oh my god. Off of nine hits. So the wall is now at 78. So you see they are very low rushing up there, but you see that more Green Knights are pouring out

of the gates, sort of flanking them on the other side. After the Infantry Legions, Kenna's up, but she's just helping the green knights. Cavary's dead, siege is dead. Calder, that's your turn. Come on, five or six. Ooh, that's a four. That's okay. Okay. Okay.

That's fine, we can still do this. We're doing this the old fashioned way. All right, so I'm up here with the infantry, right? Okay, do you wanna go after a fresh one or the one with three power left? Let's go after the one with three power. Great, okay. So three attacks on you as they approach,

or three attacks on Honeysuckle. They need to get a 14 or higher to hit him because he's got 24 AC. One hit, 10 damage. Okay. A bunch of them scream. Some of them drop their weapons and stuff as Honeysuckle bounces overhead,

but a few of them start to look brave and jump on, like literally like jump on Honeysuckle's back and start trying to stab between the scales. That was a huge mistake. We serve the meteor witch and the weatherman. So I'll let Honeysuckle take all of his attacks. That's the bite, the slam and the tail on these guys. Honestly, licorice even without the breath weapon, was still really powerful.

Oh yeah. For the bite, that is a 32. Okay, 32 hits. I've pre-rolled their damage. 20 damage on the bite. They're at less than half, so you have to do a courage check. Natural seven, they fail. So this infantry unit is broken.

Honeysuckle can take attacks now on a fresh one. So as he bites down, you literally just see him burrow down into the ground on top of a squadron of guys. And those guys are just gone and there's just a hole where they were. I mean, I'd go home. Did the weatherman predict this as well? All right, so then he's got two more attacks

on a fresh Legion. We'll roll for the Slam. That is a 30 for the Slam. That hits. That's 18 damage. So doesn't quite do the 20, but a little bit more damage will take out another point from this guy. Okay. Then how about we swing that big tail? 27. Okay. And the tail does 18 damage. So that's 36. So you guys successfully take out another unit of power from this infantry line as Huddysockle sweeps his tail

around and takes out like a dozen dudes with one tail swipe. I keep on trying to blow the horn, but he's vibrating so much and fucking around that I can't bring it to my lips. You're gonna chip a tooth. Shit! Calder bites the horn really hard. No! Calder! We horn really hard. No. Calder.

No, no. We don't have time for a dental appointment. God, I hope there's a dentist in this castle. You do see one guy fighting with dental tools. Throwing like little hooks at people and stuff. Wait, actually this might work. You stay alive! He smiles a big bright white smile and gives you a thumbs up.

Holy shit. I'm going to jump off and fight. I'm going to go shoulder to shoulder with him and take my three attacks. Do you have any availability later on today? That's an 18, a 20, and a 17. 17 doesn't, other two hit. That is 29 damage. Okay. You take out another unit of power.

They are down to six. And can I use one more charge from this helm? Would you consider Honeysuckle an ally that I could command to use him? I would. Yes, definitely. I would, yeah. Okay, cool. Then I just whisper to Honeysuckle, if you don't mind, what you did was awesome.

Do you wanna fuck him up again? Yeah, I'll say he can take a bite attack with this, which is the most powerful one. Nice, yes. That is a 28 to hit with his bite. Yes, super hits, once again, just burrows where like 10 dudes were, and they are just gone when Honeysuckle comes back up.

So takes out another unit of power, they are down to five. I ask the dentist, can you do that to my teeth? I just smiles again and gives you a thumbs up. God, he's so friendly. You don't speak. His teeth are glued together. I have, so straight up, I have been forgetting to attack with the two wyverns.

So I'll say two wyverns shriek and just appear and start stabbing at Calder and the dentist. Oh my god, I spilt my body in front of the dentist. Okay, so they get two attacks, I'm gonna give them four, because they missed last round. So they just start stabbing into, they screech at Calder with their human face,

and Calder jumps in front of the dentist to take a bunch of hits. Stand back. So each one's gonna get two bites and two stinger attacks to make up for missing last time. One hits with both bites, so 18 damage total. Okay. They're not as strong as a dragon or something like that.

It takes two attacks with a stinger, and hits once for 10 damage, and then I need a DC 15 constitution saving throw, Calder, as it attempts to poison you. Eww. I rolled a nat one, but I'll use Indomitable, and roll. Standing next to the dentist gives me strength and courage.

That's a 22. That passes, you just take half. So you'd already taken 10 from the stinger. You take seven poison damage. And then the other one is gonna take two bite attacks with its weird human face and misses twice. And then it's gonna take two attacks with its stinger and hits once.

That is 11 damage. You give me another constitution saving throw. Oh my god. Another one, but I have one more indomitable. Oh, god. And that's 25. That passes. The aura on this dentist.

You know they say dental health is mental health. It's so true. They do say that. They do? The guy just goes, I do say that. You do say that. You do talk. So, it's just, I don't talk on the battlefield. You do? You do talk. Sorry.

It's just, I don't talk on the battlefield. That makes sense. Yeah. Not as much. I respect it. Usually I just do dentist stuff, but I'm having to shove my dental tools in people's eyes and stuff just because it's got to come down to that. It's been a rough few weeks for us.

It's an ugly battle for sure. Yeah, it's been an ugly battle. It's been a tough few days. It's been a few days for sure. Do you do veneers? I do. Yeah. You see, he smiles been an ugly battle. It's been a tough few days. Tough few days for sure. Do you do veneers? I do. Yeah, you see he smiles.

These are actually veneers believe it or not. No. You can do them tastefully actually. They're so natural. Yeah, they're so natural. You don't have to go big. Yeah. You don't have to do the big chicklings.

Yeah. Incredible. You don't have to make them so squared. Never mind. You do them real naturally. Colton has a huge chip in his tooth. You don't say. I'll get you in.

Yeah. Yeah. We can get a couple veneers in there. I'll get you in, yeah. Yeah, we can get a couple of veneers in there. I'd love one too. Great. You do radio damage for those? So you do take, still take half the poison damage, Calder you take 13. Okay. Did a little bit more damage that time.

Okay. I'm gonna bonus action second wind. Nice. Okay. Okay. At the end of the round, the Green Knights are going to rally. Pretty hard for them to fail this at this point.

There are only four guys coming at them. There are, not four guys, four legions, still hundreds of enemies. Uh, so they can still roll a, they get a plus one of this, so they can still roll a one or two and it'd be bad. Other, other than that, they'll get half their life back, which is only 78, so they'll only get like 40 life. All right No joke God why is he allowed to roll these yeah, you see that take of the dice stop telling their story for second

Yeah, Calder as you are stabbed by the Stinger... Don't. This isn't fucking fair, dude. You see that an enemy Fomorian with his club swings down and hits the dentist, breaking his ribs and throwing him up against the castle walls, and you see he slumps onto the ground dead. What? No. No he slumps onto the ground dead. What? No.

No, I go to his side. I, ugh, what was your name again with the chip tooth? No, I'll tell you my name over breakfast as I'm biting into a burrito with my beautiful new finnears. Please. I need, I need any what's your name what's your name son I'm sir Calder I'm sir Calder Gilday Calder

Gilday can I give you something called her Gilday doubt it just before I go you're not one last job. You're not going anywhere. He's gonna give you your seat. Damn it, I don't have much time. Tell me then, tell me then, you bastard. He pulls you in close. He reaches in.

He yanks out one of his beautiful veneers. He reaches up. He uses his dental tools. This is just gonna hurt for a moment. It's gonna hurt for a moment. It's gonna hurt for a lifetime. He pulls out your chipped tooth and then inserts painlessly a beautiful veneer where your chipped tooth once was.

And then he goes, another job, well done. And he, you see the light leaves his eyes and he passes. I'm drenched in tears. No! And he, you see the light leaves his eyes and he passes. I'm drenched in tears. No! No! I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave you a posthumous five star review. And I turn to the Fomorian and I say with a perfect smile, you're gonna regret that.

You hear cheers and rallying going up amongst the green knights. But at the top of the round, that is the archer legions. Oh, I thought they were done for. They are not done for, there's two of them left. So Saul, you are tanking for the wall here. Bring it. The archers are gonna take six attacks on Saul. Oh boy. Four hits, 40 damage.

Saul? Saul falls for a second, uses a key point, kips back up and says, there's still an hour left till the weather report. Ah! These guys scream as they stab Saul in ways that should be fatal wounds.

And Saul, you fall back, you feel yourself losing consciousness for a moment. And then you feel this like fungal, not parasite, but like symbiote inside of you kicks you back up. Feel like a starfire pulse in my heart. And you pop back up. The other eight are going to continue firing

onto the green knights and the wall. Why do my teeth ache? I don't understand. Five hits. Oh, that's a lot. 50 damage. The wall is at 28. Oh no.

That is Callie's turn. Okay, I'm just gonna go after the infantry. Yeah, you got it. Another 19 on the dice. Hits. 22 and 22 again. All three hits. Nice.

Give me the damage for the first one. See if you take out a unit of power. And if you do, they'll have to start doing saves or this Legion will be broken. Okay. 37 damage. You fully take out another point of power. They're down to four.

Next hit, they'll have to do like a concentration check but a courage check to see if they run away at this point. A second level smite. Great. Burst of starfire comes from Callie's Lance. As you're throwing like six dudes at a time with every swing. That is 31 damage. Okay, so they get plus two to this roll. They have to get 13 or higher or else they flee. Ten, they fail. Okay. This Legion is broken. The last half of that Legion breaks off and begins retreating. One more Legion of Infantry left. They still got eight power left. I have one attack left. Great. All I have left is a

second level Smite, but I will use my bardic on this one. Hell yeah. Okay, so Kali is going all out, just pouring sweat. You are exhausted from overuse of magic. You see coming off of her almost like, you know, smoke from a flame. You see smoke from starfire emitting from her. Forty-five damage, I rolled well. That takes out another tonight's power from this infantry. And I got another nine, so my AC is up to 28. Hell yes. The star is burning bright.

Okay, after Callie's turn, that's Saul and Licorice's turn. All right, okay. You've got two legions of archers, one with six power, one with eight, one infantry legion with six power. Okay. And two whippers. All right. They're fine. Ah!

But they attack individuals, they don't attack, they're not gonna be able to do damage to the wall in a proper way. Yeah. All right. Yeah, Saul's teeth feel sad for some reason, he doesn't know why. And you see his eyes kind of gleam with the starlight. They're kind of like turning into snake eyes a little bit.

Oh my god. Yeah. And he's just going to launch into these archers to try to take them out. Sick. Go ahead and give me your attacks. You can give them to me all at once, because these guys still have more than half their legion.

OK. 20, 15, 25, 17. All of them hit except for the 15, which if you just, if you want to embiggen your fist, it auto hits, because they just have 16 AC. So even a one on the D4 doesn't. Running low on Ki, but I gotta do it. You wanna do it?

Okay, sweet. You embiggen your fist, you're running low on your magical power. Same thing as Kali, you are like a fucking meteor of magical energy that's like smoke is coming out from you as there's this hole of carnage around you. Yeah, I think that I'm like creating my own mist around me. Yeah. Try to shoot arrows through these clouds.

55 damage. Sick. All right, take down another two units of power. They are down to four. They will need to start doing courage checks now. I'll say you did some overkill, so there was 12 damage extra beyond it. They'll do a flat roll. They got to get a ten or higher, or else this Legion breaks. 14, they pass. Legion sticks together. That was the same dice that got a not one. No, they pass. Legion sticks together. Ooh, I'll do it.

That was the same dice that got a not one. No, I can't do my, I've already used my silver rebar. Okay, great. After Solstern, that's Licorice's turn. Okay, yeah, Licorice is gonna see if he gets his Starfire Breath back. Great. Fuck, that's a one.

That's okay. Fine, he's still so strong. I don't have enough key left to recharge it. Yeah, Licorice at this point is just in the mix, just a writhing enormous snake that is just like biting at people and snapping at them and throwing people off the wall. Okay, Licorice, just keep freaking out.

Okay, so I'll give you the attacks. Nat 20. Yes, on the bite too, on the bite. Nat 20 bite. Let's go. Ooh, that's big. Chomp, chomp. Come on. I have pre-rolled damage. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, that's big. Chomp, chomp. Come on. I have pre-rolled damage.

The bite is going to be with a crit is 46 damage. So takes out another two of the infantry. That brings them down to half of their power. Each hit now will be potential to break them. Yeah. Okay. I think when Licorice opens his mouth inside, you just see like an abyss with like a single point of light deep, deep within.

Oh my good God. Dudes are just screaming all over the battlefield. Oh boy. That's gonna be a 22 to hit. Okay, 22 hits with the slam. That is 18 damage from Licorice. They will try to do, they need a eight or higher on this to succeed.

They pass. So they stick around. All right. You shouldn't use this dice anymore. Oh, you like that? Oh, that one's doing too good. This was the one that gave us a one and it keeps giving you 14.

Got it, okay. Steal it. All right, so one more attack, tail attack. Yeah. I want you to picture Saul like superimposed over licorice, like just kind of like clenching his fist and he says, all right, Licorice, now finish with a Peregrine Pounce. And Licorice just freaks out and starts wiggling.

Ha ha ha. That's the tail attack. What have you done to him? Ha ha ha. Another Napswine in! Whoa! Whoa. Now that's a Peregrine Pounce.

Okay, Peregrine Pounce, wiggling. Okay, on the tail attack, wow, that is, okay, 41 damage. So you take out another two points of power and they will have to roll on 41. Wow, they have to get a 20. They have to get an 18 or higher for this Legion not to break. Oh yeah, come on. 16, they fail. 16, they fail.

Nice. So, you see a bunch of the Green Knights rally around the dentist As he dies as he passes they begin shouting You see this dude the young stag people are like waving banners and stuff around him like the flag this like symbol of the green Knights the Sun on this green banner and the young stag is sending back a bunch of the enemy troops, and then Licorice snaps down and takes out like four lines of guys.

And the green knights at this point are straight up like pursuing enemies on the battlefield. They are now in like an offensive position. After that, it is whippers. Oh, okay. Sure. So yeah. Sure.

Ah! They just like, do not get the hint. I just swoop in on Calder again. Why are you still here? Swoop in on Calder again. He shows up so late. Buzz off, I'm grieving. Hits Calder with a bite for nine damage.

Oh, that's just rude. And it takes a tail attack, misses. The other one takes a bite attack and misses, and then a tail attack and hits. 11 damage, give me a con saving throw, Calder. Well, you just get lost. That's another 25. Okay, 25 passes, you just take half of the poison damage,

so you take 15 damage, another 15. Shoo. Wyvern, more like Wyvern are you here? Yeah, good point. Okay, so that's Kenna's turn. Then the cavalry legions are gone. Siege legions are gone. Calder, that is your turn.

All that's left is a legion and a half of archers and a honeysuckle axe on your turn. Okay. You've got to finish them off, Calder. Calder stares at the lifeless body of the dentist. He says, what's the point of this perfect new veneer if I'll never smile again? He stands up, and I coldly, joylessly

go to avenge my dentist. A 19, a 20, and a 21. OK, all three are going to hit the archers. This is a legion that is, and a 21. Okay, all three are gonna hit the archers. This is a Legion that is down to four attacks, but as you engage them, they pull out short swords and are gonna get four attacks of opportunity as you approach. Three hits, actually, 30 damage.

I'm actually, the Wyverns, even though I was making light of it, did fuck me up a lot. I'm pretty hurt. Yeah. So a bunch of these archers are just a lot. I'm pretty hurt. Yeah. So a bunch of these archers are just trying to take you out with them. There's still a force trying to rally.

And there are commanders that are so afraid of Jovir that they're commanding their troops to continue the fight. Okay, well I've got vengeance on my mind. I'm not going anywhere. That is 47 damage. Okay. You take out another two points of power. So they will just do a flat.

They got to get a 10 or higher to pass a courage check. 15 they pass. So they stick around. Okay. There's just two of them though. Let's see if honeysuckle gets that breath weapon. Yeah. Four.

Doesn't help. So close. But ituckle gets that breath weapon. Yeah. Four. Doesn't help. So close. But it's still pretty damn strong. Yeah. On the bite, that is a 20. 20 hits. Again, I pre-rolled this damage. 23 damage from Honeysuckle takes out another point of power.

They have to roll and they fail their courage check. So this Legion breaks, there is one Legion left of eight power. Honeysuckle yells a galactic, oh no no. Oh no, it's time to get gone. As he tears through the landscape here, Calder make your attacks on the remaining archers.

All right, I bring the horn to my lips one more time, but very, very carefully not to chip my brand new veneer. That is a 32 on the slam. Yep, that hits. That is 17 damage, begins to take away another unit of power. And for the tail, that is 28. 23 damage, so between the two attacks,

they take out two more points of power. That is down to six. And I'll use my final charge to blow that horn very carefully and ask the Meteor Witch to make an attack. Whoa! Okay. 26 to hit.

Okay, Callie, you hit. Nice. If you can get this infantry down, you'd have to do 40 damage. They could flee. Okay. Come on. I've got a second level smite. I only did 28. Okay, you take down another unit of power then.

That is time for the Green Knights to rally. Now here's the thing. They've been rolling so bad that this mechanic has not come into play They start taking out legions once they win by four or more so they could actually Damage and say they could actually save the wall here themselves by taking out these remaining legions I'm taking the shit dice away from you Okay, somebody else can roll for me if they would like, but at this point there are only two legions left. They get a plus one to this roll. So they literally cannot fail it. Even with a nat one they get a two, but if they get a six or higher, they can take out a legion.

Ooh, okay. Okay. Who's gonna do it? Does anyone want to roll it? And if they get a ten or higher, they'll take out two legions and the battle will be over Eight Eight okay that succeeds by more than four. Yes, so they take out okay, so this is gonna get really close They get back half their life, which is 14 life. Oh, which brings them to

42 life. They succeed enough that the young stag and his squadron get up next to the archers and fully take them out, overwhelm them. So that unit of archers is gone. All that is left is the five power infantry. And the green knights are all shouting and rallying. Top of the order, archers are gone. Calliope, that is you.

Yeah, I'm gonna attack the imp. Right on. 31, 29, and 20. All three hit. Okay. Yeah. I'm down to first level Smite. Okay, yeah, Calliope is just a smoking ball

of nearly extinguished star fire. I still do get to add two d6 of radiant to each of those. Yeah. 89 damage. 89? Well, because it was a two D6 per hit plus the- Oh my God. Four extra D8.

They are down to- And then another D10 for my bardic, which I rolled a 10 on. You got it, yeah. Callie, you just tap into something. down to... Listen, and then another D10 for my bardic, which I rolled a 10 on. You got it. Yeah, Calli, you just tap into something. You go into essentially a Paladin trance. And when you come out of it, there is this explosion of energy that throws back nearly

this whole Legion. And they need to get a nat 20 to succeed on this courage check. And they do not, but they get an 18, but that's not good enough. So you break this final infantry legion and you see the armies of the Winter Court begin to fully retreat. Oh, yes.

Including the Wyverns who at this point just screech and begin flying off. I hug the wolves, you're standing. Cheers go up around the castle. You see the Green Knights are embracing each other and a few of them all run up and just give you guys hugs. They don't know who you are particularly or who the serpents are, but they're just in this euphoria

of they've just won this battle that seemed completely unwinnable. I accept a hug from a stranger and then pass out in their arms. I'm down to one first level spell stack. Wow! Oh my good God. Yeah, you see,

Kenna jumps down, she jumps off one of the ladders. You see a bunch of the green knights have like lifted her over their shoulder and are cheering with her. We did it! We did it, guys! her cheering with her we did it we did it guys we did it how was green beast to prevail how was it up there kind of fun I'm not gonna lie yeah it's pretty sweet cool someone catch me oh yeah you guys I feed Kelly a hot dog. Thank you, the only thing that can rejuvenate my spirit.

You see the serpents settle on nearby spires. And you guys come together and you see a bunch of post-fight camaraderie. Some of the knights are chasing off fleeing knights and laughing and literally tooting horns at them and stuff like that and you see they unfurl more banners of the summer court onto their castle right on and there's all this revelry and everything and then you see they all start getting like a little serious and start like getting in line as you see that this one green knight with the staghorns on the side of his helm walks through a crowd and you hear a bunch of people just whispering the young stag the young stag the young stag if you see the knight walks over

walks up to you guys and removes his helm you see a fierce halfling warrior with a square jaw, black hair and a black mustache. And he drops to a knee before you guys and he goes, I do not know who you are, but if you are enemies of Jovia, then we are allies. We are definitely enemies of Jovia. Fierce enemies. You see he stands- Big time enemies. St stands up, offers you a hand and goes,

I am Robert, the young stag. Kalei P. Petrichor, Knight of the Serpent. Calder Kiel'de, also Knight of the Serpent. That was perfect. Sol Bufo, likewise similarly, Knight of the Serpent. Knight of the Serpent and the young stag. Not bad, not bad not bad Got a ring as he says that you see

Another halfling man that looks similar to Robert but older gray mustache and gray hair His green armor is looking a little tight Bobby there you are Oh Bobby there you are. What? Looks up at you guys. If he's the young stag then I guess I'm dear old dad. How you guys doing?

The name's Balnor. You see this timeline's Balnor. This timeline's Balnor who got to grow up in the Feywild and lived this whole different life than the timeline he was pulled from in campaign one,

reaches out to greet you, and that's where we'll end our session. Whoa! I climb over everyone to take his hand. Yeah. All right, on everybody. I take a knee. Wow.

Yeah, I literally went back, listened to episodes, was going around the NADD pod, Wiki, and everything. I was like, does the timeline work? Does the timeline work? Yes, Balnor could be the age he was in campaign one, in campaign three as a different version of him. Whoa. That's incredible.

Even more of a dad than he was before. It absolutely is buttoned up. Sweet, we'll talk more about this on the short rest. Yes, we have to. Patreon.com slash NADD pod. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet talk more about this on the short rest. Yes, we have to. Patreon.com slash nadpod. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet. Does anyone? Don't do it.

Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I mean, it feels great to plug something right now. So I'll just do this quick, because again, I'm reading a really good book called Master of Djinn. All right, check it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Kogui, you got anything?

Yeah, I have one more thing. Yeah, our friend Zach Broussard wrote a book, a comedy horror book called Scary Stories to Make You Scared of Stories. That's really funny. They wrote it under the pen name The Boo Boys. And the illustration on the front is a vampire pointing a gun at you. That is very Zach Broussard.

He's very funny. That's awesome. So yeah, you can check it out. He's very funny. That's awesome. So yeah, you can check it out. It's on Amazon. I think you can get like a digital version or like a physical copy. Perfect for Halloween. Super funny stuff.

So please check that out. Yes. Check out Friend of the Show, Zach Broussard's book. Very funny, very funny guy. Yeah. In the meantime, you can follow us on social media. There may or may not use at stageversesme at Caldys Caldwell, Addy X for Demily, and at Jake Ortes Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod. That's any DDP od

It's the end of our episode which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders! Let's get right to it! Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord! Happy Birthday Murph! Later McSkater!

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who are playing Stick It to the Man down with the monarchy. Winterslade, FICO, Garret the Artificer, Damon J, Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh H. The Fairies, Whoop That Trick, Yeet! Haha! Cantrip Dumbledore, the Bear Onesie Wearing Barbarian, Lexi H, Nodrog, the Pacifist Barbarian, Geno T, Gianluca, Tristan, the Talentless Honk, Leon Kumari, legendary hero of Bohemia

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return to Twank and Hot Boys in Summer 3. 80s Winter Ski Lodge Edition. Oof, I'm manifesting that too. Jackson R. Snailus, who's infecting Worcester for within. Official Ned Flanders. Pawpaw Skatties. Mee ma Skatties. Oh, it's V. This isn't the last you've seen of me. Tee hee.

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We'll see you back here next week. Bye bye.