Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 70: Deer Old Dad (A Faerie Tale Ending)

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Duck Team joins the Green Knights and recruits allies for the fight against Queen Jovyre! Callie tests a new invention on her friends, Sol recycles, and Calder tries Deer Old Dad's patience. ...Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford."Balnor the Brave" by Emily Axford."Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford."Ode to the Archipelago" by Emily Axford."Bittersweet Sixteen" by Emily Axford."Hospitably Hostile" by Emily Axford."Balnor's Bad Dream" by Emily Axford."Balnor the Brave" by Emily Axford."Winter Sprite" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Escape From Smuggler's Bounty" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."Greener Shades" by Emily Axford."Moonshine's Stump" by Emily Axford."Zelbuldar" by Emily Axford."Mothership Lobby" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."Goblin Dirigible" by Emily Axford."A Friend For Life" by Emily Axford."Tower in the Distance" by Emily Axford."Frankie" by Emily Axford."Malscurial" by Emily Axford."Mindflayer's Lair" by Emily Axford."Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford."Reynard" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to the Campaign After the Campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bohemia everybody! Bohemia! I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Ready to make the ground shake in an earthquake. Called or killed him.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Wow, three rhymes. Whoa, a new record. Three rhymes that you didn't use snake, which is really impressive. You saved that for the rest of us. It's Jake the snake. Oh, you're on a snake. Yeah, and that's copy written, us. It's Jake the Snake. Oh, wait, but you're on a snake. Yeah, and that's copywritten, dude.
Starting point is 00:00:47 That's trademarked. Really? I thought it was parallel thinking. Yeah, it's from a wrestler from the 1980s and 70s. And then, of course, we've got Emily Axford. Meteor Witch and Serpent Bitch. It's a lawyer perpendicular. I was going to say Serpent Bitch.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Say it. Say it. There's so many times, Jake. I don't see it. It was written right of petchical. I was gonna say serpent bitch. Say it, say it. There's so many times Jake. I don't see it, it was written right on his notebook there. There's so many times that Jake says something and I just also do it, because I like it. Yeah, well what is Jake the snake if not a serpent bitch? Yes. So true.
Starting point is 00:01:18 Too true. So true. And then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner. Oh, predicting the weather to make things better, and also I'm wearing pants that are pleather. That's right, it And then of course we've got called Waltanner. Oh, predicting the weather to make things better and also I'm wearing pants that are pleather. That's right, it's Saul Buffau making a fashion choice. Not gonna give him credit on the three rhymes. No.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Are you sure? That was three great rhymes. I serve at your pleather. Yeah. With that, let's go ahead and do a little recap. Yes. So last time you returned to Garrosh's castle in the sky with full-grown serpents in tow.
Starting point is 00:01:49 He offered you a quick ride on the wind to either help the Green Knights of the Summer Court or travel to the Autumn Court to deal with the automatons in Charbon. You chose the Summer Court and arrived that night to a castle besieged by thousands of Winter Court soldiers. Upon seeing the serpents, war horns went up and shouts of the beasts rang through the
Starting point is 00:02:08 air. Kali struck first, jumping off the back of Hunnysuckle and onto the siege equipment like a starfire meteor falling from the sky. Sahl sent licorice to defend the castle wall, then dove into battling legions of archers. Calder and Hunnysuckle attacked the cavalry, causing a huge earthquake that reshaped the battlefield. But despite your individual successes, the battle took an ugly turn as the Green Knights failed to rally at the end of the first round and the castle wall took serious damage. The enemy infantry continued to climb
Starting point is 00:02:41 the walls and blast at the gates with battering rams while you and the serpents whittled away at the opposing legions. Finally the Green Knights began to gain some ground and rallied around someone going by the name The Young Stag. Even as you took out Legion upon Legion, the infantry and archers managed to nearly topple the wall, doing dozens of attacks each turn. Kali was down to her last smite, Saul was being kept up purely by temp HP, stolen from downed combatants, and Calder was being pecked by wyverns.
Starting point is 00:03:12 And not pecked to death. Which I forgot about a few times. And then tragedy struck as a dentist was killed on the battlefield. Don't make me relive it. Who then gave Calder a veneer as his last act of heroic dentistry. The knights rallied, boosting just enough defense
Starting point is 00:03:31 to the wall that they weathered another round of attacks and you were able to chase off the last legion. As you and the knights celebrated, you were approached by the young stag himself who introduced himself as Robert. He said that any enemy of Juvir was a friend of his and shook your hand. His father introduced himself as a terrible pun offshoot of the young stag, dear old dad, and you met Balnor.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Yes. And that's where we are now. Without his name, I didn't catch it. I'm still laughing about the pun, by the way. Oh, thanks, yeah. That's really good. Young stag, dear old dad, what do we think? What do we think? You seem great. We think it's great. It's great, Dad Juvir. Yeah. That's really good. Youngstag, dear old dad, what do we think? What do we think?
Starting point is 00:04:05 You seem great. We think it's great. It's great dad joke. We think it's awesome. Especially after this incredible siege in which it looked like chances were lost, you still have your sense of humor intact. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Hey, you know what? I credit it to Marmaduke and Garfield, my two faves.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Holy shit. Two. You're a Marma man, like me? Of course, born and bred, pats his chest. You see Robert just rubs his eyeballs and goes, please stop, father. And you see Robert looks up at you guys and goes, take a moment, enjoy some revelry,
Starting point is 00:04:42 and when you're ready, meet me inside and we can speak about your plans. Oh Yeah, that seems good. I would like one or two revelries though. We'd like yeah sure yeah, yeah, I'll follow you I'll take this new veneer for a spin Take one to three revelries. Okay. I think I'll go with two three seems greedy. Yeah, we just got here Whatever you want. Yeah, and maybe let's start with one revelry and see where it goes I like that idea. Yeah, we would love some Goats for our snakes. Do they need to eat now that they're corporeal? I don't know
Starting point is 00:05:16 Suckle usually likes rocks. Do you really need a goat right now? Yeah, do we really want to be setting up that we're sacrificing goats to these great beasts? You do see that they are still feasting on enemy winter court knights. Oh, oh great, yeah. Oh, they're gonna be so full. Yeah, they look full, they look pretty full. We're gonna have to rub those in these later.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Yeah, that's efficient. You see Robert and a few green knights that look close to him walk into the castle and you see Balinor leans in and goes sorry he's been so serious but uh you know we spent a lot of time in the pokey so things are pretty grim around here what's the pokey what the pokey like the hokey pokey where you turn yourself around well yeah I would say my whole life got turned around. Yeah, for sure. Like the one from Matilda?
Starting point is 00:06:08 What's the pokey to you? It's like a dungeon. Oh, oh gosh. Really, they put you in the dungeon? Yeah, we were in the dungeons for a while. Okay, fill us in. What has been going on? Because actually we found one of yours.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Is that right? Yeah. One of the Green Knights? Yeah, we found the remains of True Hair. Is that right? Yeah. One of the green knights? Yeah, we found the remains of True Hair. Oh, jeez. You see, Balnor gets completely inappropriately in the background. An impromptu party breaks out.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Knights start rolling out kegs of ale. They start setting up bonfires and shooting off cantrip fireworks and you see somebody comes up and starts patting Balnor on the back and screaming in his face, he goes, give me a minute, give me a second, give me a second! Just pushes a guy off violently. Hold off on the revelry. Yeah, they can do it, we can hold the contradiction for them. Yeah, so you see Licorice and Honeysuckle are drawing a lot of attention. There's a lot of people going up to them and approaching them and touching their scales and looking up at them in wonder.
Starting point is 00:07:12 And there's all this cheering and everything going on in the background. But you see Balnor looks deeply saddened by hearing about True hair and goes, yeah that was one of the few guys that was on our side. He was really solid. He'd give you the shirt off his back, you know? You know how you wear shirts and stuff under your armor and everything? Tanks and cups. Of course, yeah. You'd give him a cup from his groin.
Starting point is 00:07:41 You'd be like your Gambison, yeah. I guess, you know, I don't know what they call it in the Feywild, but yeah like a tank and a cup tank in a cup right okay Yeah, you know it takes takes all kinds. He'd give you the cup of his nuts Balnor cracks a beer and cheerses you and goes your goddamn righty would Righty wood. To true hair. To true hair. He give you the cup off his nuts.
Starting point is 00:08:06 He give you the cup off his nuts. You see they cheers and Balnor gets kind of caught up in the revelry and goes, I'll talk to you guys inside when you talk to Bobby. Okay. Okay. I think whatever you guys are feeling called to, like if there's something, some revelry that you feel drawn to. Can I have a beer?
Starting point is 00:08:27 Yeah, absolutely. Okay, can I have a beer? I'd be fucking pissed if you didn't. She starts to drink when he goes, ugh. I'll chill her glass. I think the issue is that it's not cold enough. Yeah, I feel like it's- Also, I lean over it.
Starting point is 00:08:43 This is beer for halflings, so it's like perfect for Kenna's first beer. Oh, right, yeah. is beer for halflings so it's like perfect for Kenna's first beer oh right yeah yeah you see once it's a once it's a session she takes a drink of it this is good I feel like I could have 12 or 13 of these bad boys oh yeah why are we worried you'll be fine that's how you feel now after the second one you won't feel that way see as she like goes to drink you see bow norlings and goes like, hey, hey, all right, make sure she just has five or six of these, all right?
Starting point is 00:09:09 I will, I will. All right, goes back and joins the party. And kind of just nurses her one beer, feeling very proud and adult, like hanging out with you guys. Do you ever see those little Rolling Rock Minis? Yeah. That was my first beer. The little pony beers, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:25 You see she's got like a little foam mustache and is just kind of nodding and looking proud being here, you guys. You know, I feel like before we go inside, I would love to kind of just like walk amongst all the knights and get to know them a little bit, especially since they're like mingling with the serpent. Maybe I'll kind of like get up on Licorice
Starting point is 00:09:45 and do a bull riding thing. Hell yeah, cool. Oh, fun. You get up on Licorice and begin riding around. And I'll say give me an insight check as you go around and you talk to the green knights and stuff. Okay. I'm still covered in blood.
Starting point is 00:10:01 I'm just like, hi, Sal Bufo. Nice to meet you, great workout. Whoa! Okay, hi, nice to meet you. 21. I'm still covered in blood. I'm just like yeah, I saw before I see me to great workout Okay, hi 21 21 Wow okay, okay, so I'll say yeah, you go around you make a great impression Obviously the serpents are kind of the heroes of this in addition to you guys So having these great serpents come down out of the sky and fucking save them they're like gods like the the halflings right the
Starting point is 00:10:31 Goblins and gnomes and everybody here looks on at them in wonder. I saw before I killed 40 archers Yeah, how you doing? Oh, yeah, you did and I slap you on the shoulder I will say some insight you gain though, and I'll say all of you guys do this you guys go around and you're talking to people And stuff there is like a release of adrenaline that happens, right? That there is all this revelry, but there is an underlying guilt. And you see, in addition to just, you know, they've lost a lot of knights, they've recently lost Queen Cirilla,
Starting point is 00:10:58 you hear people talking about feeling guilt for having trusted this guy, Leonor, and having not listened to Robert and you get the sense that these guys were maybe neutral in a rivalry between Leonor and Robert and really needed it proven to them that this Leonor guy was a snake. You're not getting like all of the information because obviously they're not gonna share everything with you guys because they don't really know you, but you get the sense that there's a lot of guilt with having not gotten Robert out of the dungeon
Starting point is 00:11:32 earlier. So something went down and not a lot of people stood up for him until it was too late. I think Kaliope overhears some of this and relates to it immediately and just jumps into a conversation being like, yeah, sometimes a man comes along with pretty words and you forget yourself and you just take on whatever he says is right and you are trying your best but it doesn't matter because his words are so pretty. Holy shit. Can I chill your beer, sir? Give me a persuasion check with disadvantage. Okay, I got a nat 20 and a 15.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Oh! So with a disadvantage, it's still a 30 because I have whatever expertise. That's amazing. You go over there and you begin instantly crying around this group of strangers that are having a quiet conversation. It's okay to lose yourself. They don't have to get quiet conversations.
Starting point is 00:12:30 This is after you came into the battlefield glowing the meteor witch. I'm still glowing. I'm still glowing with moonlight. The meteor witch is fucking right. That's right. I know. We need to forgive ourselves. We were manipulated.
Starting point is 00:12:41 We were fucking manipulated. You can take responsibility. Use the guilt to teach you a lesson. They just want to teach you a lesson. We need to forgive ourselves, we were manipulated! We were fucking manipulated! You can take responsibility, use the guilt to teach you a lesson, and then leave it! They made Robert seem like the bad guy and Leonore just seemed so nice and cool! Yeah, that's what they do, fucking sociopath! That's what they do!
Starting point is 00:13:00 That's what they do! That's what they do, man! They start crying and hugging Kalibe. I dive in. We get into it. You know what? I'm gonna do something for this party. Calder's gonna make a giant Ice Luge for the revelry.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Whoa! Hell yeah. You make an Ice Luge, you see a bunch of the great nights take turns a sliding down it Or are they they drink from it? Oh yeah you drink from it I think both are happening Because technically you do have the power to make an actual luge Yeah, all right. I'll do two one for alcohol one for writing
Starting point is 00:13:40 Drink Kaliope immediately messes up which one is for whey Kaliope contaminates the one that's her drinking. No, Kali, I'm coming down the slide. Don't. Move your mouth. Move your mouth. Ow.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Kali chips a tooth, and there's no one there to fix it. What? No. Oh my god. No. Calder holds his veneer very close. I know that Kali would steal this. It's on there really tight.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah, I think after we've had our required revelries, I think we'll go back inside. Kenny, do you mind keeping an eye on the serpents? I mean, they're fine on their own, but you know, just rub their tummies. I'm out here choking beers anyway. She takes a little sip of her ale. You've drank a third of your pony. This is a real ale, by the way. I didn't think it wasn't before, but now I do.
Starting point is 00:14:30 He covers it and moves back. It's good to stay hydrated. So you guys enter the castle gates and see that- I give my number to all the people I just bonded with. Right on. We make plans for a Pilates class tomorrow. That all of us are gonna be too hungover. Yeah, way too early. You enter the castle gates,
Starting point is 00:14:50 you see that they were broken down by the battle, but Green Knights and other workers are working to repair it. The wall and the gate are supremely messed up, but once you get past them, you are in a pristine fairy tale garden. Giant flowers, abundant plant life and trees, and a gorgeous castle with beautiful stained glass murals and moss growing up the side. You enter the castle itself and see
Starting point is 00:15:10 that the floor is covered in a soft flower bed. The stained glass windows are so close together that it's almost like a greenhouse in here, allowing all these plants and flowers to flourish. But on a nearby platform, you see an empty throne with a sun backing. Robert stares at it longingly. There is an eerie peace in here. No more sounds of battle, but you can't hear the sounds of like outside revelry either. You see Robert as you walk in looks away from the throne and then looks at you guys and goes, we thank you for your help. We would have been lost without you. Of course, this is this is our fight, too. Yeah, we actually came here hoping to make an ally of you.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah. Well, who are you? What is what is your cause? Our cause is preventing Jovier and her power grab. And who I am at least is the sister of the girl who's being framed for Cirilla's murder. Yeah. We're also protecting those giant serpents out there. The serpents they are of Oberyn's prophecy. Yep. My understanding was that the serpents were here to destroy us. And don't get me wrong, I'm glad that they destroyed the right people, but my understanding
Starting point is 00:16:33 is that their coming would mean Armageddon. No, really they've only been dispatched to protect the wild from the encroaching ambitions of civilization. Yeah, and right now there's a lot of civilization encroaching. Robert looks a little suspicious but nods and goes, I suppose if that wasn't true then we'd be dead right now, so. Yeah, I think that's good reasoning. Well, what would you have us do? You said you wanted to make allies of us. Well, I can see you're a skeptical man. You're right to withhold your trust. And it sounds like it was broken by a brother of yours, Leonor.
Starting point is 00:17:19 You see Robert, who in the short time that you've met him, even after winning this huge fight and everything, has barely showed any emotion, has just been kind of all business. In that moment shows a very human look of hatred and anger, and then sort of gathers himself and goes, yes, that rat. Jovier's recent actions are the conclusion to a series of escalations that have been happening over the past year. She and the good Queen Cirilla, you see, looks over at the throne and then looks back at you
Starting point is 00:18:03 and goes, technically had a peace pact, but Jovir has been testing her boundaries, sending troops into the spring and summer courts, arresting people, attacking beasts outside of her borders. The Good Queen Cerilla minds the advice of her council, and among them were members of the Green Knights. I began to suspect that some of them were compromised when they kept advising inaction against Jovier's aggression. And I was particularly suspicious of a knight named Leonor, who was seen as sort of a knight named Leonore, who was seen as sort of a rival for my position as captain of the Green Knights. He was one of the loudest voices for peace, as he called it.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Yeah. I mean, it's hard to argue with peace, I understand. Well, he was arguing for an action. There was nothing peaceful about what Jovir was doing. Eventually, I caught him speaking to a fate- bringer mage of Jovir's court. Rather than report him, I made the mistake of confronting him. We fought one of his stooges walked in and witnessed it and they conspired together to make it seem like I attacked him. It was a believable enough story because we had been butting heads enough in public, so I was thrown into the dungeons along with my father, who was among the only ones to defend me.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Dear old dad. Stop. That's how he introduced himself. I know, his name is Balnor. I'll fuck off the worst just beginning. Stop, you're just like him, stop. Well, I'm sure you already know this, but you were right. Yes, yes. Unfortunately, other people came to that conclusion a little too late.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Tobias Truehair and a few friends began visiting me. Word got out that they were catching on to Leonor's stretchery and they themselves were labeled traitors and cast out of the court. Oh, we have grim news of that. Have you spoken to your old dad already? His name is Balnor and I've heard of Tobias' fate. He was a good man, would give you the cup off his nuts. Yes. Too true. I cry into my veneer.
Starting point is 00:20:32 But besides the few who tried to help me while I was in the dungeons, it was only when Queen Cirilla was killed that the rest of the Order learned the true nature of Leonore and his stooges, the false green knights. How did they learn it? Was it just the nature of what happened to her? Or was information disseminated? Leonore was the one pushing for Cirilla to attend the summit. Saying that cooperation between the courts was the only path to peace.
Starting point is 00:21:08 When word came down about her death, the remaining loyal Green Knights who were suspicious of Leonore but maybe hadn't acted yet, finally freed me from the dungeons and we mounted a defense here. I see. May I ask, have you had the space to imagine a more proactive plan? Or have you just had to be reacting to attacks?
Starting point is 00:21:34 You see, he sort of stares into the middle distance and goes, I cannot look too far into the future. There are too many wrongs to right in the now. And what are those wrongs that you would like to right? So that we can see if we can help you and what we can help you with. I mean to revive the good Queen Cirilla. How? I suspect that if we were to kill Queen Jovir
Starting point is 00:22:02 and retrieve the magic of the Seelie Crown, I suspect we might be able to mount a spell powerful enough that we could do a ritual with our clerics to potentially bring her back. Would that spell consume the crown? Or would she wear it once she rose? From what I hear, the magic is still there, but the original Seelie Crown was destroyed. I do think it would take a good bit of magic, but there would certainly still be enough
Starting point is 00:22:32 to create a new crown. Well, I guess, you know, since we're all just talking here, it's worth knowing that things are more complicated than you might have initially thought. There are other forces at work here. I don't know what you've heard since you've been in the dungeon, but primordial giants have returned and are also vying for some stake of control in the Feywild. So if you were to try to revive your queen, I don't know if that would be the end of
Starting point is 00:23:00 things. Regardless of what part the good Queen Cerilla has to play in the politics of the future Feywild is irrelevant to me. Is she important to you? Very, she is. Beyond her title, beyond the crown she wore? My order was taken in by her centuries ago in our time of need. We have vowed to repay that debt.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Our purpose is to defend her and to keep peace in the Seelie Kingdom. We have failed. My life is meaningless until she is back. I have failed in the only thing I have sworn to do. Yeah, I've been there. I'm from the Feywild and Cirilla always struck me as, she struck me as really sincere, maybe a little inattentive of some of her official duties because she liked to party. But she did not strike me as having the lust for power that seems to be gripping Jovier. Did you think she was a good queen?
Starting point is 00:24:18 Yes. Yeah. And he kind of, he bristles when you say that she parties. Diplomatic. Really? Socializing. she's got to go to events galas that type of thing she she has to do that type of thing i honestly it like i'm okay with her partying a little bit yes did we see pictures of her also on an ice luge and then sluge and that. Yes, definitely. Is it that you feel that you failed and you have to write a personal wrong or is there a desire to bring back a person who you think is good to this
Starting point is 00:24:54 world? Both. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's nice to hear because I really always did have kind of a good impression of her. Yeah, Callie, I'll say that the read you're getting off of Robert here is that obviously he's not looking at things objectively. He's like a Queen's Guard dedicated to defending the Queen. So he's like, yeah, it would be great if she was Queen. It'd be great if she was Queen of everything. So like his political thought on this is like quite simple and probably not great. But like literally right now you are in a like fairy tale castle.
Starting point is 00:25:30 So she is, you had described her as naive. There is a naivete to it where it is literally like the people are hungry. Well, let's turn all of the trees to gumdrops. You know what I mean? So it's like well-meaning, but also maybe she should. Fuck it, my queen. Right, but yeah, so it's like she's fun, but maybe shouldn't be queen of half the world.
Starting point is 00:25:55 So by no means like an evil, evil person or anything like that, but definitely like naive. And I don't think you would get a strong feeling of being like, oh, Robert's got the right of this. She needs to be the queen again. But it's like, she probably deserves to live. Yeah, I know. I mean, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Can I speak with my friends for a second? Of course. I see Robert just goes back to staring at the throne. Wow, okay. Wow, we can probably stay within. Your shot is pretty zoned out. He is dialed in to that fucking throne. He's just mumbling, my queen. I feel like, I mean, who knows? The future's unwritten, but I think we can promise that to him and then maybe
Starting point is 00:26:40 offer her a seat on the council or something. I mean, that's what I was thinking. That's kind of why I was sussing it out because I do think you see the way That the power of the crown Warped Jovier, but I'm thinking back to all my time in the Feywild and everything I saw about Cirilla there are people out there who can Bear a degree of power without it corrupting them It's just really rare and maybe the only way it corrupted her is that she liked to party too much.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I don't know. So I'm saying, I think she's well-meaning. I think she could be a candidate for something like that. She died at the hands of Jovier. I don't think she deserved to die. Yeah, exactly. I do think she should still be here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:24 And if we can, you know, take care of some of that Crown's magic by igniting it to bring her back in a ritual spell, then hey, that's one way to recycle it, I guess. Yeah, I have no qualms about that. And if we bring her back, she might owe us a favor. Ah, wow. Interesting. What kind of favor? I mean, everything, everything you,
Starting point is 00:27:45 you've envisioned for the, for the Feywild, keeping it wild, you can, you can tell her your vision the way you told Zunark. I think if anything, from what you told us about Cirilla, seems like a crown is only weighing her down. Yeah. She'd be more free without one. That's what I'm thinking is that,
Starting point is 00:28:06 I don't think it'd be a hard sell to say, we got you an even prettier crown. It's not magic, but it has more diamonds in it. I feel like she'd be okay. Is this a better court for Gunk to be in? Oh my God. Well, but he's a fish, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:27 It actually was so perfect to have him serve a Coraline. I just want what's best for him. I just, it's weird to be thinking about his second marriage, but after the Brine Sleech thing doesn't work out, like maybe he can come here, get a vacation house in this realm. Yeah. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Maybe he can come here, get a vacation house in this realm. Yeah. All right. Yeah, basically, I just think that, I think Cirilla is more reasonable. So I feel like, I feel like she does want the best for people and the Fairwild. Okay. Even if she's not the most organized in acting that.
Starting point is 00:28:59 It also seems like, you know, for looking for a banner to rally all of these knights around, the return of the Queen seems pretty good It's impressive to do to see how much of people are still dedicated to her. Yeah Yeah, that speaks volumes to me. She must have done something to earn their loyalty Yeah, unless one of us wants to be a queen No That's so funny. It's I wrote this up and I was like, I don't wanna tell anyone what to do ever.
Starting point is 00:29:27 That sounds like my nightmare. I'll tell you what, I do like these green nights. They have a cool vibe. I like the revelry. I could see a world where I serve in their court. Yeah. Okay, I walk one foot over back to Robert. Hey, you- Oh, sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:29:45 You didn't leave Straup on us, did you? No, not at all. Okay. I was thinking of regrets. Oh, wow. I trust him. Just bathing in your own regrets? Yes, I should have reported Leonore
Starting point is 00:29:58 instead of confronting him. Wow. I think that you're never gonna be able to remedy this situation unless you forgive that. I will never forgive myself. I trust him. You know, sometimes forgiveness is a multi-step process and the best first step is to move forward.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Which we wanted to talk to you about. Yes. Yes. Here's the deal. We want to help you bring Cirilla back. Then you have the Green Knight's support. What we've been dispatched to do though is to destroy the crowns. Not necessarily the idea of a crown, but the magic that's in them.
Starting point is 00:30:40 He nods a little suspiciously, but seems to understand the position that he's in, which is, you guys have giant serpents and more allies. I just didn't want to enter some sort of like agreement with you and have you feel slighted. She can still rule, but based on on inspiring devotion. Yeah. Yeah. From her followers. And she could have a flower crown. Not by magical means.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Yeah, we'll make her a flower crown. Some sort of like non magical tiara that yes the the crown does not matter to me as as much as the person okay So if you can help us revive our good Queen, Cirilla, then then you have the blessings of our order Yeah, you absolutely have our promise that we will try our best because Mildred's Marmos is like cricket since Cirilla's gone. No one's making any good gossip. The realm has gone juiceless.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah, it's like propaganda now. That's terrible. So miserable. It goes straight from page five to page seven. There's no page six. There's no page six. Yeah, the print- I think even the printers are fucking phoning it in. They know it's fucking nothing. Yes, that's terrible.
Starting point is 00:31:49 I mean, I read Mildred Murmur's to keep up, just to make sure to see what's being said about our good queen. And to do the crossword. All we've had down in the dungeons for the past six months have been Mahmadouk and Garfield comics, and my father has been endlessly retelling me the jokes from them.
Starting point is 00:32:06 His laughter echoing down the halls. Yes. I'm jealous. That sounds like a vacation. Does it now. A staycation. Yeah. I think my father would tell you that he enjoyed it a little bit.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Yeah, a little time with his son. He definitely enjoyed a little bit of time with his son. Bobby? I will be honest. He was a comfort to have with me. He trusted me and took my side even when no one else would. His presence really soothes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Well, don't worry, you know, if things go according to plan, your queen will be back on page six chugging box wine as soon as we can. Yeah, that's our vision for the future. You see? It's Cirilla, slap in the bag. You see? He looks at the throne and with a tear in his eye goes, I wish only to see her slap the bag one more time. The slap heard round the fairwiles.
Starting point is 00:33:01 I wish only to hold her hair back while she pukes into a toilet at an expensive hotel one more time We've been to the Grand Mariner really got to recommend it He'll in there for sure Well get some rest you of course, um, welcome to stay here. There are Many rooms open in the castle, so take your pick. You see he gestures to a staircase that leads into several adjacent hallways. Just don't sleep in like the Queen's bedroom or anything, that would be weird.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Oh, fuck, now that you said it, now that you fucking said it. Does she have a walk-in closet we can crash in? What about Lesterborn's bed? He goes, well, let's just... Yeah, where is Lesterborn? Because I know he's not Joan Jovea, but he says, is he here? He, where is Lesterborn? You see- Cause I know he's not join Jovier, but he says, is he here? He's here somewhere, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:33:49 Lesterborn, get your fucking slimy ass out here. Hello, is he a skinny little Aladdin man? Why are you in a bathrobe? There's a battle going on. Yes, well, I often find it better to relax in times of stress. Calliope's been like, read so many tabloids about them and she's been totally radicalized.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Lesterborn, I'm just gonna let you know when you cheated on Cirilla with that fucking noble from the Artem Court, we all hated you. We hated you. Call there eats popcorn. You didn't get the full court, we all hated you. We hated you! Calder eats popcorn. You didn't get the full story, okay? You did not get the full story, you didn't hear my side. Whatever, we're sleeping in your bed.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Very well. You see, the King Consort of Lesterborn just wanders down another pall of his huge mansion. I'll never forgive him. He smelled like lavender, right? Yeah, he really did. Really did together. Pungently. Yeah, Robert goes, I told him to take a bath when he said, should I be leading the troops?
Starting point is 00:34:59 And he, when I said, go take a bath, he instantly listens to me. Wow. It must have been already drawn. Yes. Has he been in the bath the whole time? That was a long battle. It was a decently long battle. Did you see his fingers were wrinkly? He was looking a little pruney. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:14 All right, well, you can go sleep in King Lesterborn's quarters. As you know, there were several cheating scandals, so they are sleeping in different bedrooms. As you know, there were several cheating scandals, so they are sleeping in different bedrooms. Uh, yeah, you guys, um, walk down the hallway, and you see that, uh, every room, including Lesterborn, uh, is essentially, like, glamping. There are, like, plants and flower beds. It feels like you're outside, because there's, like, flower beds all along the walls and floors. Uh, and you see, uh, there is a big, comfy, canopy bed comfy canopy bed next to a fireplace and then a big window where you can see like the moonlight Perfectly coming in and lighting the room. You see after a little bit, Kenna comes in and joins you guys. I had a beer Looks like there's half of it still left. Or is this a fresh beer? You have a beer. She pours it out onto the flower bed. I had a beer.
Starting point is 00:36:05 That flower's brung to life. Are you sure that wasn't water? No. Kenna. Yeah. Why don't I tuck you in? Yeah, I think it's bedtime. I think it's bedtime.
Starting point is 00:36:14 You see, Kenna gets right into the middle of the giant bed and then sleeps diagonally and instantly passes out and starts snoring. I take off her shoes and I undo her hair. Guys, check it out. There's a zipline for the mistresses to go out the window. What? Lester Bourne, you scoundrel. I'm going to try it out.
Starting point is 00:36:38 It opens to another secret bedroom down here, which is just as beautiful. Has another stained glass window, has more flower beds and stuff. So cool. What a thrill seeker. I love this. This all runs back up the wall to get back in the room. Sweet, yeah. You guys are all in this bedroom now.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Close the door. Kenna is snoring on the bed. Should we try and get in touch with Garaash, or Albin and my goblin? Yeah, I open up Lester Bourne's correspondence desk. God, look how many perfumed notes there are here! You're fucking scoundrel! So many shades of lipstick!
Starting point is 00:37:16 If anything, Mildred's mom has downplayed this! This is despicable! I thought it was actually our theater! Kelly, you look at this. This is the mother load of hot gossip. I took this all away. Dozens of love letters between Lester Bourne and various members of the court. I look for a bag of holding to keep all these mistress
Starting point is 00:37:38 letters, and I'm just like, I'm going to fucking make big when Mildred's Mermet's, I'm going to start my own. Kaliope's crows start my own Calliope's crows Okay, I feel crows It's like Raven's delivering letters I piece correspondences, that's really good. That's better. I like the crows though It's like you could deliver it by crow. Yeah, you could get lady Hell's Beth to help
Starting point is 00:38:04 Then it's like a little birdie told me who? A crow. One of Callie's crows. He's really too sweaty. I weep. I weep. I can't come up with a name for my gossip brag. You know what?
Starting point is 00:38:19 This is our nest egg if things go bad. You see, as you guys are crying about the potential of Calliope's crows or correspondences Whatever you want to call it. You see a strange mechanical cylinder suddenly bursts through the window crashes onto the floor of the room you see Ken awakes up I jealously guard my correspondences After a moment you see the cylinder begins to shake then stands up as a little kickstand shoots out of the bottom, and it projects a hologram of Ma Goblin. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:38:52 And you see her go, Ah, sorry, I wish I had the, um, more of an elegant way to get this to you, but the garage's magic is all wind-based, so I just had to kind of throw it out the castle window. Oh, this is so cute! This is really cool, yeah! It just like, rocketed through the sky. Yeah, I just threw it out the window and I see you, so presumably it worked. Very accurate, that garage.
Starting point is 00:39:17 This is live! Amazing! I am here, yes. That's great, I have so much glass in my face, but hold on to that. The most recent as Reese's Reese Very recent very right now screaming Yeah, anyway. Yeah. Yes, I have something for you You see the cylinder expands revealing more mechanical parts that then begin 3d printing a large piece of equipment
Starting point is 00:39:42 3D printing a large piece of equipment. Oh my god! This thing's nifty. This is a Magitek net gun that should be able to help you against those mages that you were talking about. Yes. The lasso. Short of a lasso, it's fine-tuned to disrupt the magical frequency of diviners, so it won't necessarily hurt every single mage or spellcaster that you come across, but these particular mages, it will work very well.
Starting point is 00:40:07 If you can hit one, it will restrain them and stop them from casting a spell. Wow. Can I shoot it at Calder? Hey, Calli, what are you doing? Why are you looking at my veneer like that? Great idea. We need to play test it!
Starting point is 00:40:21 I'm gonna shoot you and then try to do a spell. Play test it on Saul! Grab this huge arquebus that is radiating magical energy and shoot it. And it has a ton of kickback that knocks you back like three feet. Whoa! Go ahead and roll a d20. 18. 18. Okay, so that is a 24 total.
Starting point is 00:40:41 It catches Calder in a magical net. You see Calder falls over, restrained, and he cannot cast spells. Try to cast a spell, try to cast a spell. And it's making him cry too. Yeah, it's short circuiting. You can try it on me next. Yeah, I try to cast Ice Knife.
Starting point is 00:40:58 I shoot an Ice Ray at Callie. You go to cast a Freezing Ray, but struggle against the siphoning powers of the net. You feel it constrict around you. The spell is countered, and you begin breathing heavily with great effort as you take on a level of exhaustion. And you hear Magos, again, mostly for the Diviners, please don't shoot each other. Okay, I give it to Calda. Do me now, do me now. No, I'm not gonna sink to that now. And then I throw it really fast.
Starting point is 00:41:25 You shoot the net gun again. That's a nine. A nine, so that's only a 15. So you do see it's cumbersome and it is tough to hit. You tweaked my shoulder when you threw it at me. Yay. You see the net just goes and hits Lesterborn's desk. I know!
Starting point is 00:41:47 I just died in front of it to protect his salacious desk. It's dispelling the magic of the letters, no! But yeah, you see, my goblin continues and goes, yes, it takes a bit to reload and it's a little bit hard to hit, but it is a heavy hitter if you can manage to pull it off. So here's how this works. You can use an action to shoot an arcane net with it. It is bulky and awkward, so it has a flat plus six to hit. So it only has a plus six to hit.
Starting point is 00:42:19 But if it hits, you restrain your target and stop them from casting spells. They can only escape with a DC 30 athletics check. They try to cast a spell. They have to do a constitution saving throw or gain a level of exhaustion. After the net gun is used, it needs an action to reload. And you see there are big bulky cartridges
Starting point is 00:42:36 that come with it that can be loaded in. But definitely something that you probably wanna like have Kenna help you reload or something like that. It's not something that you can just go in and blast the like six fate bringers that are left. Gotcha. But you see the cylinder that Ma is speaking out of breaks down and turns into a little circular disc.
Starting point is 00:42:55 And you see her hologram goes away, but you can still hear her voice coming through it. And she goes, hang on to this and bring it with you. When you go to the, presumably you're going to the autumn courts next yeah I think that unless you've heard any news about developments I think that's probably we're gonna head we'll check in with Bobby oh he's you know the young stag he's like one of the leaders of the
Starting point is 00:43:15 the green Knights here very well yeah we'll check in with him to make sure there's nothing else he needs but then yeah that's our next destination I think yeah all right well this is a communicator so you can get in touch with us but more importantly it's also a scanner that can let me get more data on our next destination, I think. Yeah. All right. Well, this is a communicator, so you can get in touch with us. But more importantly, it's also a scanner that can let me get more data on the automatons should you be able to get close to one. So maybe I can do like a detect thoughts type deal or something like that and kind of find out what is making them tick.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Interesting. That would be great. That would be awesome. And to speak to what you just said, Sol, we have been tracking some movement in the autumn court. The automatons are heading toward Charbon's fiery keep, which has popped up in the last couple weeks. Fiery keep. It is not clear whether they're planning on talking or fighting, but things will be coming to a head soon. I think we should try to intercept before they get there yeah yeah well it's going to even with garage's help it
Starting point is 00:44:09 will take you another full day you'll probably get there tomorrow evening if you leave in the daytime okay so I think heading to Charmin's castle is maybe the move okay you can give us a call when you're ready to leave and Garrosh will give you a boost. Okay. Okay, Ma out. All right. Oh, us out as well. Yeah, we're out.
Starting point is 00:44:33 We're out first, actually. Yeah, I'm out first. This all throws the disk. Yeah. We're already out. The communicator disconnects. Okay, well, I mean, anything else to be done? Or should we just go to bed? No, I mean, anything else to be done?
Starting point is 00:44:45 Or should we just go to bed? No, I'm feeling really exhausted from that whole thing. Do you want to try to take another go at me? You see, Solace still caked in blood and all of you guys are just like completely exhausted and beaten down. Do you want to take another go at me, Calder? No, I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Starting point is 00:45:03 And I throw it again. Go ahead, you shoot with the giant arquebus. It's an eight. It's an eight. It shoots back. It does a misfire that blows back on you and the net captures you and the gun in it. Oh!
Starting point is 00:45:17 Colder! Colder! I'm just gonna go to sleep in here. It does kind of start to form a sleeping bag. It is like a hammock that's falling on the floor It looks comfy I'll lay on hands on Calda and then go to bed Yeah, my pinched nerve relaxes
Starting point is 00:45:32 This does look like something that when you do face the fatebringer mages that it will be Something that you want to pair with like having advantage Mmm Yeah, I'm trying to figure out could my mounted combatant give me advantage. Oh, yeah, okay? Oh, so yeah, there are there are definitely ways for you to use this that Will be most strategic would you let me because I still have the thing that like summons a serpent Yeah, fine steed, but it's fine serpent. I do know what I would like that for foster You know what I would let you do? You could do it for foster
Starting point is 00:46:05 or you can summon an avatar of marigold. Ooh. Oh wow. I think I'm gonna do it for foster. Okay cool. Finally. Yeah just giant duck. I feel like I don't wanna show up to marigold on marigold.
Starting point is 00:46:18 On a fake marigold, yeah that makes sense. I also feel like riding to battle on a giant duck is just gonna throw everyone off in the best way. It's very Peregrine. It's so Peregrine. So Peregrine. So Peregrine. Yeah, if it's cool with you, I'm gonna take a bath
Starting point is 00:46:31 and then just sleep in the bathtub. Yeah, I think bath water's still in there. Oh. Oh. Foul. Saul takes a bath in Leicester's bath water. He used like five bath bombs. Wow.
Starting point is 00:46:47 That's crazy. It's so bath bomb heavy, honestly. There's nothing in here that doesn't just smell like the freshest flowers. What's a seed without bombs, right? It's like a lavender swamp. I'm kind of digging it. Man, grossest thing we've ever done on the show, officially. I'll cuddle up by the foot of where Kenna's sleeping.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Cool. Yeah, you sleep like a dog at the end of the bed. So you guys all go to bed for the night and the next morning you see the sun shining in perfectly through the stained glass window of the room, a cascading light onto all of the flowers. Calder, you wake up in your net. Cali, you wake up at the end of the bed.
Starting point is 00:47:23 Saul, you wake up in a bathtub. Stop taking, you wake up at the end of the bed. Saul, you wake up in a bathtub. Stop picking me. I think I ate a bath bomb. They look so inviting. I've related to that so much. It does taste delicious. It's really good. You guys want one?
Starting point is 00:47:36 Yeah, I do. You're eating King Lesterborn's bath bombs? Can I open the window and see if any like ravens with messages for King Lesterborn's bath bombs? Can I open the window and see if any like ravens with messages for King Lesterborn come in? Yeah. Any of that correspondence coming back? We're already in his bath water. Let's go through his dirty laundry too.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Yeah, you see an entire murder of crows is outside with those letters. Oh my God. We'll take that, thank you. Yeah, a lot of people are proposing marriage and proposing that he should be the king now and stuff like that. Wait, you know what we should call it?
Starting point is 00:48:08 Sew some discord? Instead of Calliope's Crows, we can call it the Peregrine Post. Mmm. That's good. That's it, that's the one. Yes. What am I gonna do with all the stationary
Starting point is 00:48:18 that I had made last night? He called it, it was just up all night in the net. He's so exhausted. Just deep circles under his eyes. Great. I love the new title. Hucks everything in a trash can. You'll never see it coming.
Starting point is 00:48:36 That's our tagline. Oh, that's good. Today's episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Alienware. This season, Alienware has premium gear for every gamer's wish list. When you shop at Alienware.com slash deals, you'll have access to leading edge gaming PCs and accessories for powerful gamers. Enjoy fast, free shipping and long lasting battery life to get the game going and keep it going. Alienware goes beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors and sports
Starting point is 00:49:09 minimalist designs with advanced features like Alienware CryoTech. Alienware's iconic designs, breakthrough engineering and of course, Intel Core Ultra processors unleash the best in you. Upgrade to the ultimate gaming setup this season. Get the gear to go all in. Shop now at Alienware.com slash deals. All right, that's it for me. Thanks for listening and game on.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Hey there, NAD polls. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. That's right, one of my favorite advertisers. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you are just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. They've got amazing drag and drop tools, incredible customer support. You can even buy a domain name right from squarespace.com.
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Starting point is 00:50:29 Thank you everybody. I'm gonna roll my diviner dice real quick. Oh, right on, yeah. See if you can get back some spores. Now 20! Whoa! Nice! I'll say that'll give you two back.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Two, yes, thank you'll give you two back. Two! Yes, thank you. So you were not able to get it the other night, but you got two this night, so you're on track to maybe get one more Galactic Swag before the final battle. That would be great. We'll have to see how tonight works out. Guys, there's something in these bath bombs that's making me hallucinate a little bit.
Starting point is 00:51:02 And then, do I need to worry about being scryed on? To a certain extent, probably, although it does seem like they pulled the big trick on you already. Yeah, but Bobby said that there's clerics. Yeah, they're definitely, you could definitely find somebody to cast non-detection on you. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna see if any of the people I was bonding with yesterday are clerics. I'm gonna go 45 minutes late to the 50 minute Pilates class that we all agreed to go to. Yeah, you walk to the Pilates class, you see that no one is there and the instructor puts up a sign
Starting point is 00:51:36 and says that it's canceled down to like low attendance. And you see that a cleric walks out of their chambers and looks to kind of like avoid your gaze like you're gonna guilt them into Pilates and they just sort of head down walk past you. Morning. Hi, I'm so sorry to bother you. Do clerics have non detection? I know wizards do but no, it's bard ranger wizard. I'm so sorry to bother you. Do you know a ranger or a wizard? I could talk to a ranger.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Hey, can you point me in the direction of a ranger wizard? I don't remember much about last night, but I remember us hanging out. Yeah, yeah, we got into it. We talked about toxic exes. Right, okay. Yes, there were a few rangers and wizards that were hanging out with us,
Starting point is 00:52:25 I can get you someone, yes of course. Really, yes, I would love that. They bring you to, they find a ranger that's like a little bit higher level and they cast a non-detection on you. Yeah, thank you so much, it's like sometimes I just like want to go under the radar. Oh guys, there's a later Pilates class.
Starting point is 00:52:41 There's one at 9.45 too. I go back to sleep. As you guys get downstairs, kind of like to the main area You see that the main hall is a buzz with activity It looks like everybody's gearing up for a fight with Jovier at some point You see Robert talks with a few other Knights then sort of pushes past them to get to you and goes We're calling the banners. There were some who went into hiding after everything happened at the summit,
Starting point is 00:53:09 but they're now ready to declare for us. We'll gather the troops here. Where are you off to? We're going to the autumn court. Just see if we can make an ally or if we can whittle down two opposing forces and try and solve two problems at once. Yeah, there's a big fight ahead,
Starting point is 00:53:25 so we're gathering any allies we can find. In fact, if you have ideas of anyone else who could be an ally, let us know because we are open. Yeah, we're ally brainstorming. We're bringing as many of them here as we can. Okay, okay. I wasn't sure if you had like any other friends. But if you were going down to the autumn court,
Starting point is 00:53:44 we could offer you an escort. Oh? Yeah. Would it be Dear Old Dad? His name is Balnor. But yes. I met somebody yesterday, but I think he introduced himself as Dear Old Dad.
Starting point is 00:54:00 I'm trying to remember. Did somebody say Dear Old Dad? Hey! My ears are ringing, hey! Balinor, get over here. Your son's got his antlers in a twist. Ah, geez, comes over, gives him a noogie. Stop that, I'm the captain now. Robert looks up at Balinor and goes,
Starting point is 00:54:15 father, take three airships and accompany them. We don't know what kind of trouble they'll run into in the autumn court. And Balinor salutes, dear old dad to young stag, over and out. We're not on walkie talkies. You to young stag, over and out. Wannaton walkie talkies, you don't have to say over and out. Hey dear old dad, do you have a visor that I can wear as well? Of course I do, kiddo.
Starting point is 00:54:35 He reaches into his abundant bag and pulls out a visor. Been trying to, got this one for Bobby, he doesn't want to rock him. I got a fresh pair of dungarees as well, I might crack them. You guys got a uniform coat or? Whoa, look at the pleat on those things. I could take some pleated dungarees. Would you guys like some pleated dungarees? I definitely got a few pairs in here.
Starting point is 00:54:56 You see Robert takes the bag, pours out the dungarees and goes, the green knights wear green armor father You are to represent us you are representative of Queen Cirilla's court. You are a symbol I'm just saying some nice dungarees Yeah, yeah, green jeans. We're making green jeans. Yeah, green jeans. What's wrong with the fleece vest? The fleece vest is nice. Balanor whispers to you guys. I've got a bag of more dungarees. Let him do Okay, okay, yeah. Let's keep him.
Starting point is 00:55:25 All right, you got it. You got it, son. You got it, you understand. You're in charge. You're in charge. Aye, aye, sir. All right, don't patronize me. What you say goes.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Be safe. The rest of us will see you on the battlefield. As a parting gift, I produce a staghorn fern, which is just a fern that looks like antlers. Oh, cool. It's epiphytic. And I give it to the young stag. I know you're surrounded by greenery, but here's some more.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Thank you. This is quite special. Much appreciated. I shall keep it as a token. Yes. Enjoy it. We'll see you on the battlefield. I will see you then. You see Tux it behind his ear and goes back. It's a pretty big plant. Still Tux it behind his ear. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:56:16 All right. Yeah, let's go. Shall we hit the road or shall we rock and roll? Yeah. Did you print out directions? What's the map situation? Oh, I know my way there. We probably want to hit the road or shall we rock and roll? Yeah. Yeah, did you print out directions? What's the map situation? Oh, I know my way there. We probably want to hit the road.
Starting point is 00:56:29 It's going to be fucking crazy. The traffic's going to be nuts. Oh, it's going to be a mob scene out there. It's going to be a mob scene. Are you kidding me? I mean, we might even want to wait till tomorrow. No, we do have to go today. I thought we just do today.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Yeah, we do have to go today. But let's pack a snack. Okay, yeah. Because I don't want to stop on the way. Oh, I'm not stopping. There's no way I'm stopping on the way. Oh, I'm not stopping. There's no way I'm stopping. No stopping.
Starting point is 00:56:48 There's no stops. Everyone pee now. We're not stopping. Pack snacks. I don't need to pee now. I'm not going to pee. None of this new fancy Magitech stuff. I know how to get there.
Starting point is 00:56:57 So you guys just follow me, OK? OK. You follow the airship, all right? OK. Balnor. Can I modify memory on Balnor with the actual right direction? Using the fancy magitek
Starting point is 00:57:11 and stuff he uses to use. Sort of like a detect thoughts that goes into the modified memory so you kind of like know what you can affect. And you see that like he just would have went the complete wrong way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:24 But I implant the right direction in him. Wow, I've never seen an airship with a bumper sticker before. Proud father of a captain of the Green Knights. Yeah. Yeah, you see Balinor and a bunch of the Green Knights start loading up airships. There's like a nearby dock that's like kind of like on a mountain, like overlooking the water.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Cool. And you guys go outside and you see Honey Suckle and Licorice are waiting for you guys out there taking up like the whole courtyard. Hey buddy. Nom nom nom. Nom nom nom. Toss him a rock.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Nom. How did you sleep last night? Nom. Really? Nom nom. Oh, that's so good. You earned that good sleep. Nom nom. Oh, that's so good. You earned that good sleep. Nom nom.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Just knocking over like a nearby tower. His breath blowing the leaves off of trees. Just a tree gets uprooted and flies off. What do you two think about going on a trip? Nom nom. All right then. Great. Have you both used the bathroom?
Starting point is 00:58:22 Nom nom. Okay, great. Oh yeah, stand over there. Shhh. Ha ha ha. So I was going to use tongue of the sun and moon to hiss back at Licorice. Shhh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Can't tell if they're fighting or bonding,
Starting point is 00:58:36 but they both hiss at each other for an extended period of time. That's so cute. Look at Calder. He does do that. That's so funny. What? Let's go. Yeah, you see, Kenna hops onto Licorice's back.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Saul is with Licorice. Calder is with Honeysuckle. And Kelly, where do you go? I'll hop on Honeysuckle. Cool. Hop on Honeysuckle's back. You guys see in the nearby airship yard, three airships that look like giant sailing ships full
Starting point is 00:59:02 of green knights take off and begin following you on the wind. You see, Kenna picks up the communicator and goes, Grush, we are a go. Squire out. You feel the wind pick up and you begin rocketing through the air towards the autumn court. It is going to take a majority of the day for you to get there. Is there anything you guys want to do to prepare? Oh, can we stop for a piss break dear old dad? We've been on the road for 10 minutes colder 10 minutes I thought I had to go I thought I didn't have to go but I have to go now be in a bottle He into the wind Balnor Balnor has like a horn that he's communicating with you guys
Starting point is 00:59:41 You just hear it over the loud wind. Go in a bottle, bud. Is there a sna- You guys got Snapple bottles over there? We could throw some over. We've got one of Cirilla's empty wine bags. That's fine. Calder pisses into the wind. You piss directly onto Balnor, who's on the ship.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Ah, come on! Sorry, dear old dad. Right on your dockers. Would it be crazy to cast Pass Without Trace? Can I do it on, it seems insane to do it on the Serpents. I'll say you can use it on the Serpents and I would say that would allow us like cloud cover. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Basically last time you guys approached a giant army on the Serpents, Warhorn started going up and Watchtowers saw you and everything. We can say that Pass Without Trace on them makes them be able to have stealth as long as they're like a mile away. So you can like get a bearing on your surroundings and then decide if you wanna go in or go in on foot. So you guys leave the shores of the summer court,
Starting point is 01:00:41 then spend the morning and the afternoon over the beautiful Fae Ocean. Murfolk and sea creatures popping out from under the water, crystal clear seas with bright coral underneath. Eventually, the wind becomes a bit brisk, and as you reach the autumn court, you see the landscape has completely transformed seasons. There are beautiful trees with red, yellow, and brown leaves, but outside of the natural beauty, there is a strange vibe. A bad vibe. You see several abandoned hamlets and villages, as well as a few destroyed like keeps and garrison. This looks to be either the automatons or Charbon's path of destruction, perhaps both.
Starting point is 01:01:24 As you head southwest, you see that the trees begin to lose their foliage. The land loses its grass and moisture and it goes from beautiful fall weather to barrens. And from that to ash covered ground with dead trees all around. This one feels like Charbon. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:41 So Callie, this looks a bit like the Winter Court, but even there, there are like evergreen trees that keep their leaves and needles, there's snow. There's a strange beauty to it. This is Death and Scarred Land. Eventually, you can make out the cause of it in the distance, an iron fortress surrounded by walls of fire. Everybody give me perception checks.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Ooh, 23. Cool. 13.. Ooh, 23. Cool. 13. All right. 22. Cool. I'll say that with Pass Without Trace on the Serpents,
Starting point is 01:02:11 you guys are able to get pretty close, but fly high enough overhead and kind of hide amongst the clouds. So you look down and you see a lot of figures that look like as tiny as ants, but you identify them as armies. You see, outside of the castle, in some nearby hills, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of automatons. Whoa. You get a closer look with like some binoculars, Saul, and see that they are much less sleek than when Alexandrite was controlling them. These seem much more analog than the projections
Starting point is 01:02:46 and shared consciousness of the old ones. These are kind of like rusty machines, almost like transformers made of junk. They look like walking suits of armor. Some of them are roughly the size of humanoids, but some of them are big kind of titans, like iron giant style. They have crude weapons as part of their metal carapaces.
Starting point is 01:03:08 They've got like swords, axes, and sometimes crazy spinning hooks and drills. And they are standing in rows waiting. And you see facing them are a similar number of fire elementals as some of them are up on the like castle walls, and then there's fire elemental infantry and stuff out in front.
Starting point is 01:03:29 There seem to be some kind of talks going on, probably in the castle, because the troops just seem to be facing each other like they're waiting for a command. Do we see Bear Lane? You do not see Bear Lane. Oh. And you do not see Charbon. So I imagine maybe they're in size. Does it? Can we
Starting point is 01:03:48 tell who is facing like who is facing the castle and who's facing away? Like, yeah, so the fire elementals are obviously defending Charbon and the Iron Fortress and the automatons look like they're there to either invade it or are they're just protecting Bear Lane or whoever, right? While their representative to either invade it or are they're just protecting Bear Lane or whoever while their representative is in there speaking to the commander of the fortress. Bear Lane does not strike me as diplomatic.
Starting point is 01:04:15 No, no, unless there's like something small in there that she can squeeze the life out of, I think this is gonna go pretty quickly. Yeah. I'm wondering, do we want to try and interrupt these proceedings or do we wanna listen and see what's happening in there? If they're like making an alliance or if they're arguing,
Starting point is 01:04:33 I'm just wondering if like we should try and get more information before we barge in. I mean, should we just try to become invisible, drop in the chimney? Santa style. Who? Sorry. Should we go try to talk to the automatons while Bear Lane is in there? Is that stupid? I guess maybe we could ask them if like they have a leader that's in there too. I'm gonna throw an apple amongst the automatons and
Starting point is 01:05:02 see if they like fire on impact. You know, has anybody seen my snack? I packed an apple. See how much they engage with. Okay, so I'll say that. Just drop an apple. Hey, Balnor and the Green Knights in the airships, they park like kind of far away.
Starting point is 01:05:20 They let you guys do like sort of a scouting mission ahead on the serpents. Callie from the heavens drops an apple. I want to see how like head trigger reaction. Oh yeah, if they just blast it. The meteor witch reigns from above. An apple hits one of the automatons super hard. I wasn't trying to hit it. You hear a loud clank and like a thud
Starting point is 01:05:46 as it hits its metal carapace. You see it reacts and looks up. You see some of them have faces that are like screens and they begin speaking to each other in a language that almost sounds like a screeching, like 56K modem. You hear like whistles and screeches as they all look up into the sky trying to find you. Okay, so none of them, like, fired.
Starting point is 01:06:13 That's good, yeah. None of them attacked it. Well, they're nervous now. Yeah, they look like they're on high alert and they're talking to each other. Yeah, let's throw Kali's snack overboard. What'd you pack? Calder starts rummaging through her backpack. Lasagna, like Garfield.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Should we keep throwing things at the armies that are getting ready to maybe fight? Okay, what do you think? Would it be crazy to just go circle up with the automatons? I think we should land in between them on our giant serpent and divide the two armies and then we walk towards the automatons and I think that hopefully the truce will hold but I do want to talk to the automatons.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Okay. He's alerting both the armies of our presence. The best idea? I'll definitely do it if people are thinking that's good. I guess my fear is that Jarvan and Bear Lane might be in there brokering a truce and we'll just be out here throwing garbage at robots I was talking about your lasagna Is the only thing that gets me through Monday. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Calder chucks a casserole. Okay, so Calder, are you voting that we try to go in and see what's happening? My vote is that we insert ourselves in whatever discussion Charbon is having. Okay. And do you want to do that by knocking on the door in an official capacity or do you want to sneak in? I guess I like look at these giant serpents we're riding and I'm just like, I think we're in a position of strength.
Starting point is 01:07:52 We might as well go in. Okay. Yeah. Lead the way. I would, but I'm pretty, I'm feeling pretty peckish. How do you guys approach on the serpents? So I'll say I'm giving you guys have pass without trace. You're up in like the clouds, but at this point you're throwing stuff and you're making plans to fly.
Starting point is 01:08:08 We threw one apple. We threw one apple. That could have fallen from anywhere. Let me know, this robots gonna discover gravity. How are you approaching? So I think my vote is for flying in, letting them see the serpent, but landing safely outside the castle gate.
Starting point is 01:08:24 So they kind of like, they see the firepower, they have to respect our knock and they are gonna let us in there and talk. Okay. I think that's, yeah. Let's do it then. But my blood sugar is running really low, so if anybody has a better idea, let me know. You said you didn't want that apple, man.
Starting point is 01:08:41 I saw you. Yeah, you called it garbage. Your words, not mine. You went rummaging through the cupboard for some chocolate chips. It was mealy but it was mine. All right I'll say a small escort of like a few green knights in Balnor, join you guys, Kenna's with you guys. As the serpents land you see a bunch of fire elemental and like fire Janasi archers ready their bows, like knock it, getting ready to attack. Is there like a flag of diplomacy? Not one of surrender, but one of like, kind of like,
Starting point is 01:09:11 we come in peace style. Right, like a dockers tied to a long pole. Yeah. You fly a pair of white dockers. I've got some white khakis. You be careful with these though, you don't want to spill anything on them. Really classy. Those are for church.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Thanks, yeah. Wow, stonewashed. Try not to get them dirty or anything. There's a lot of ash kicking up around here. So just hold the flag high, right? Okay. You know what? Let me watch the flags, actually. Yeah, I think you should. You got it. Watch the flags.
Starting point is 01:09:39 So Valnor is waving a flag of white dockers. You see a bunch of the automatons and fire elementals turn and look at you. And again, the automatons are beep, beep, boop, boop, boop, beep, beep, boop, boop. Just making sound. It's kind of cute. Dial up. Can I go over to shake a hand of an automaton with Mar Goblin's scanner.
Starting point is 01:10:05 Oh, okay. Oh yeah. You walk over to an automaton that has another one of these faces that looks like it's like a screen slash scanner. And you see like you are bathed in red light as you get close to it. You see it has a like-
Starting point is 01:10:23 I walk so it's like when you're approaching a stray cat and you're making sure not to show your teeth and you're blinking to show that you're not a threat. I'm like doing that but for... Yeah, you see it looks at you, begins scanning you, gets red light on your sword, but then sees your empty hands and then the light turns blue and as you offer your, the automaton offers its hand. I kiss its hand. Weep, weep, weep, weep, weep. Hello, we are here in diplomatic capacity.
Starting point is 01:10:58 We are hoping to meet with your leader, Bear Lane. You see, it looks over at the other automatons and they begin speaking again in these like high pitched frequencies and stuff. Does it seem like that was long enough to scan them? Yeah. Okay. As Callie is talking, can I use tongue of the sun and moon
Starting point is 01:11:17 to try and understand what they're saying? Yes, what is- So starting at 13 level, you learn to touch the key of other minds so that you can understand all spoken languages That's amazing yeah, so I also kiss their hands and I like stick my tongue out on it just so that I can like Transfer my key sure Saul use this ability you kind of close your eyes and just listen to the frequencies and
Starting point is 01:11:44 For being you know obviously very technological they're machines there is something kind of animal to it it it sounds you know like a whale call or something like a whale song sort of like echo location type stuff and after a little bit you're able to get the meaning of it. They are identifying you guys as friendly for having approached you in the way that you did, but are questioning if you are going to complicate executing the command. The command.
Starting point is 01:12:19 Executing the command is their main concern. And they're also talking about Bear Lane in a way that's kind of sad. Like mom? Yeah, not quite like she's mom, but more like it's too bad. It's not going to work out with her, but we can execute the command better with Charbon.
Starting point is 01:12:44 Oh, they're making an alliance. Oh my God. Without Barrelay. Are they gonna betray her in that room? Are there automatons in there with her? Oh my God. Okay, okay. Um, I just do like a big smile.
Starting point is 01:12:57 Ha ha, beep beep. Beep, boop, boop, boop. Beep beep. I really hope maybe Margoblin can analyze what the command is. Yeah, that's true. I mean, anytime we've heard machines talk like that, it's never good. Yeah, I do another curtsy, but this one is shaky.
Starting point is 01:13:18 And then I tip the fire elemental guards with some empire sparks as if they're valet. Oh, you see, yeah, a couple of fire elementals come over towards you. You see that they're wearing armor on top of their fiery beings. These look like more like high ranking guards. Are you guys wearing anything under that armor? No.
Starting point is 01:13:39 It looks, oh wow. Not even a cup? Not even a cup. Badass. I made a fire. I kiss his hand. It hurts. We heard a deal was going to be executed
Starting point is 01:13:51 and so we came to help with the execution. Very well, would you like to speak to the High Ember Lord? He's been expecting you. Yes. Yes. We would. Yes. Why not? You see the fire elementals open up the gates and in the meantime, you can use this little communicator
Starting point is 01:14:06 to send something along to Ma Cobblings. Yeah, I'm like, you know, like kids texting in class. I'm trying to be like private and sneaky about it. You're transferring this data to Ma. And I'll say there's even like a little earpiece thing that you can put in as you're being walked into the castle grounds. And you hear Ma responds as she looks through it and she goes, okay, all right.
Starting point is 01:14:32 Yes. Walking into the castle, walking into the castle. Right. Okay. Really discreet. All right. We'll be discreet. Yes.
Starting point is 01:14:41 Don't have to narrate it necessarily. Okay. Everyone relax. Relax. We're all being discreet. Yeah, okay. Everyone's being discreet. Yeah, oh sorry, I'm gonna pass the earpiece around. Okay, alright. It's not what Calder drops it, kicks it forward.
Starting point is 01:14:51 Oh, Calder! Kenna takes it, Kenna takes it and just kinda translates it for you guys. But my goblin goes, okay, as we expected, the network is offline, so they are no longer a hive mind. Okay. But looking here, there's still enough data and capacity in each one that they're able to pull from some of their past experiences and learn. So there is a level of humanity there, to a certain extent or not necessarily humanity, but there's capacity to change essentially I pass the capacity to learn or grow intelligence. There's intelligence. Okay
Starting point is 01:15:32 Intelligence, but it's based around a very specific command. What's the command? Yes, so that is what I'm seeing here The major hiccup is that? They have one last command that was sent to them by the Hivemind before Alexandrite died. Their mission is to get a Fae Crown. And they're still... Wait a second! And they're still calculating that they're better off getting it without Bear Lane and making an alliance with only Charbon. But this works for us because we want a Fae Crown.
Starting point is 01:16:02 Yeah! If they don't have a command beyond get the fey crown... If we can convince them that we're the best side to choose... Best chance to get a fey crown. Yes, if you can get them a crown, executing that command means they could possibly have autonomy after that. This is the only remaining command from their hivemind. Yes. And we can convince them that their primary objective, getting this crown,
Starting point is 01:16:28 they have their best chance at a favorable outcome by aligning with us. And I think with those serpents, we're going to make a pretty good case. Yeah. Yeah. You see they're scanning the serpents. This is so crazy because we're coming from these knights who no longer have a purpose to serve and they're feeling aimless. And then we're coming to these robots who have, who are bound by this one last purpose.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Right. Yeah. Essentially in out of character terms, Alexandrite was puppeting them from the hive mind, but they, you know, each one still has enough basic intelligence to fight on their own or execute orders. So even if Alexandrite is not puppeting them at the moment, they still know enough to like, you know, how to defend themselves, how to attack, how to get from one place to another. So they have like a capacity on their own. With Alexandrite dead, they still have this basic intelligence and can grow as they're fed more
Starting point is 01:17:25 information but they are bound to the last command given to them by the Hive mind. And if we can free them of this command then they can roam around the Feywild taking in its beauty, incorporating all this information of this magical place and and maybe they'll fall in love with it. They don't have to be what they were programmed to be. Maybe. They can choose something new. So no matter what, we are still walking in to meet with Lord Charming.
Starting point is 01:17:51 But yes, you also get the sense that another huge difference between these automatons and Alexandrite is that Alexandrite spread like a virus. So it could literally like kind of raise zombies through like viral technology essentially these automatons seem to be Kind of busted like seem like they are Offline they they can speak to each other, but they when they speak to each other
Starting point is 01:18:16 They are literally speaking out loud It's no longer hive mind it no longer looks like it's something where it's like they can shoot wires and take over someone's mind It's you know they are constructs essentially. They're offline. They're clones that didn't fulfill their original purpose or desire. There's a place in the Autumn Court called Vault City. I think they'd really fit in there. Vault City? What's Vault City like? Vault City was like a place that me and my sister, my mom lived for just a short time and it's like right in between all the courts, but it was like all about thunderstorm harvesting. So I was thinking of all like the lightning rods thinking, oh, that's all metal.
Starting point is 01:18:55 They would do well there, but now I'm actually thinking they just go get... If they were like rubber boots, they'd probably... Yeah, maybe. So scratch that. They might like the current. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet. You guys go beyond the castle walls and then enter the castle itself, which is
Starting point is 01:19:13 extremely Spartan. Walls black with ash and roaring torches. You enter the Great Hall, this big circular room and see a moat of lava. And in the middle on a patch of charred earth there is a molten throne where High Emberlord Charbon sits. He wears black armor and you can see his fiery body beneath it like a giant furnace. Behind him it looks like the castle goes deeper and there are more rooms beyond it, but in here you see he has a few fire elemental attendants and guards. There's also another one of these automaton titans with like rusty mismatched parts and a drill arm, and the automaton kind of has its head down. And you see as you enter the hall, you got greenites along with you and Balnor.
Starting point is 01:20:01 Charbin laughs and goes, Ha ha ha ha! Well, well, well, if it isn't the little ants I met on the Material Plane, here to pledge your allegiance to the Empire! Wow. Uh, cool it, buddy. We've got some thoughts to discuss.
Starting point is 01:20:17 Do you now? I look at Saul, excited to see where this goes. Uh, you see, uh, looks up and goes, Why don't we make sure our mouthy friend here is reminded who holds the power here? And you see a couple of the fire elemental elite guards block the exit that you guys just came in through. You guys didn't see what we pulled up on, did you? Guys, you hear, did the rumor mill pass forward the, uh...
Starting point is 01:20:45 Oh, your snakes? You think snakes stand a chance against the might of the Empire? Yeah, yeah. Hmm. You're right, you probably don't want our snakes. Yeah, you probably don't want our snake. Here's the deal, Charmin. I think we have to fight you. He looks, wait what? I look at more than them. What the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 01:21:12 You guys were so good at diplomacy last time. I know, well it's really changed ever since we talked to Ma. So this would really get us in good with the Coral Hill. You see that- Charmin, what have you been doing? would really get us in good with a coral oil. Ah! You see that as a- Charmaine, what have you been doing? Like, you've raised half the Feywild. It's smoldering.
Starting point is 01:21:30 Places that were once, you know, representative of the beautiful seasons have all been reduced to a generic ash. A generic ash? The great ash of the Empire! No! I want to see leaves. Beautiful dead trees. No, I want to see leaves. Beautiful dead trees.
Starting point is 01:21:46 No, leaves gently falling into leaf piles. There's not a leaf pile for anyone to jump into and make mischief. Dust and smoke. No. Sometimes there are forest fires. It's a natural evolution of the woods. I don't think this is a controlled burn.
Starting point is 01:22:03 Is it a controlled burn? Is that your intention for everything to grow that strong? I love all of the control of the Feywild! That's what we're afraid of. It's a little much. It's a little much. Okay, but I was under the impression that you were having discussions with Berylain, yet you're just in here kind of like raving about how you're going to control all the Feywild? What happened? Raving, more like speaking truth. Berylain did a good job creating chaos in the Autumn Court, but she is no longer fit to lead them now that it is time to rule.
Starting point is 01:22:33 She has been dealt with. Um, dealt with permanently? Like... Glasi permanently? Uh, you see he throws a bit of dust onto a brazier, uh, and you see an image in the smoke. It is Berlain banging up against a force cage trapped somewhere in the castle. And you hear her screaming in the projection.
Starting point is 01:22:56 She goes, let me out! I still wanna fight you, Charmin! I wanna fight you! Trashcan, help me! Trashcan! I wanna fight you! Trashcan, help me! Trashcan! And you see this automaton with a drill arm looks down as she's yelling for Trashcan.
Starting point is 01:23:12 Oh, Trashcan turd on her. Trashcan, how could you? Okay, Calder, you need to try and get Honeysockle in here. This is just turning into a fight. Does anyone else feel that in the air? Oh, absolutely. We are freeing her. Is that the way? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Okay, I want to do command. I want to cast command on the automaton and say drill. Okay, Kali, as you go to cast a spell, out of the corners of the room, you see a counter spell is cast and revealing themselves. You see the six remaining fatebringer mages enter the room. What? You see things immediately get more tense as the green knights go to pull their swords.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Yeah, Balnor, lower the dockers. You see Balnor goes, fuck the dockers. He lights them on fire and gets ready to swing them. Yes. Call your fucking serpents in here right now. Calder whistles loudly. Honeysuckle can make a door anywhere. Calder gets ready to call the serpents.
Starting point is 01:24:20 You guys begin hearing shaking in the distance and fighting outside and Charbon goes You fools should kneel while you still have the chance I've been offered a marriage proposal by Queen Jovier and have gracefully accepted our alliance means destruction for all who oppose We knew we were gonna have to deal with you at some point. Might as well be now. Can I face step more than 60 feet away from the Fatebringer mages and then cast Greater Invisibility on myself? Basically face step out of the counterspell range.
Starting point is 01:24:57 Yeah, okay. Everyone begins drawing their weapons, you begin to hear the earth quaking outside as it sounds like the fire elementals and probably the automatons have engaged with the serpents and honeysuckle has begun doing his work. Green Knights draw their swords, you guys draw your weapons, you're about to have the standoff. Kali fey steps, which is a skill, not a spell. So you get away from the fate bringers. And I want to try to find a perch or face step somewhere
Starting point is 01:25:32 that I can find a perch because I've cast Greater Invisibility on myself out of the counter spell range to train this anti-magic archibus on them. Kali, like a sniper, perches up in the corner of the room, invisible, and gets ready to blast down on the fate bringers as the High Emberlord Charbon draws his giant war hammer. Bow to the mind of the Enfer, or burn! And that's where we'll end our session.
Starting point is 01:26:04 Woo! Woo! Things are getting hot. Oh man. Things are getting hot indeed. Wow. We'll have to see if you guys can convince Trashkin to join your side.
Starting point is 01:26:15 You know I'm on it. Yeah, we got it. Yeah, I mean I've got, okay, I'm trying to think of, because I have like emissary of peace, which I call emissary of beasts when I work with the serpents, but it's gonna be emissary of beep beeps, maybe. Oh, there you go. Emissary of peace, which I call emissary of beasts when I work with the serpents, but it's gonna be emissary of beep beeps, maybe. Emissary of beeps.
Starting point is 01:26:28 Emissary of beep beeps. Yeah, we need a little garbage disposal. So good. Yeah. All right, we'll talk about this more over on our short rest, patreon.com slash an ad pod that's NADDPOD, don't sing yet. Whee, don't you?
Starting point is 01:26:39 Whee, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I'd love to plug Brian Murphy's birthday. Oh, it is my birthday! It's Brian Murphy's birthday Time take a day off Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Thank you, thank you. No plugs this time. Take a day off. 68 years young.
Starting point is 01:27:14 Wow. It doesn't look a day over 65. Thank you all so much. There's no better birthday gift than getting a good episode in the can. Love it. Trash can that is. Trash can. We're throwing this one out.
Starting point is 01:27:27 We'll retcon it next week. Yes, we're going to wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on social media there at Me or May Not Use, at C's vs. Me, at ColdeysColdwell, at AXE or Zemmellyn, at Drake vs. Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADDPOD, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation.
Starting point is 01:27:42 We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. And now it is time to thank our benevolent council of elders. They are Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, later Mick Skater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the dastardly dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P, Carpe Liam, Bryant, Victor T, Balnor's boy, Hoyt's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJ M, Trelai the Cray, Christopher B, Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, Targot, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebukeur, PhD, Princess Yar, Jory S, Rachel from Animorphs, Jack L, Nicholas C, Star of Every Film, Ever Made in Bohemia, Samuel B,
Starting point is 01:28:34 Mike H, Alka Smeltzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Tyler F, Fighting Favorites, The Favorite Things Podcasts, Knee Badger, Panama James, Horadrian,uret chapel hill fpv rex daniel the white cc lulu old cobs dunkel older burn hercule poirot the rabbit folk detective timmy r raco calder comes cold shout out to the cold come companions frosty facial taylor b the vengeful one-winged angel cass strong grinch steven star spawn star spawn star spawn c mike k lady taco your girl got knocked The vengeful one-winged angel, Cass Strong Grinch, Stephen Starspawn Starspawn Starspawn C, Mike K, Lady Taco, Ya Girl Got Knocked Up, Hell Yeah Congratulations, Nick W, William W, Big Bad Beardo The Mad, Eric McD, Anorama, Percival, Frederic Stein von Muscle, Klawowski DiRolo III, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the Cock, Loquacious, Ben A, Dave H,
Starting point is 01:29:25 Dustin S, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookvar's Assistant, Izzy F, DPC is Awesome, Hashtag Honor the Cock, Sean, The Shade Tree Mechanic of Zelbaldar, Summer RG, Cat C, Misa of House Sunsunza, Ariel, The Occasional Mermaid, Selena N, AKA, Felacy Raptor, BPerkyAlways, Pat L,
Starting point is 01:29:47 Maxwell J, Lauren H, Serv16, Annie the Feywild therapist, SkillfulFerret, Connor Savage, Saleel, Bioquart7, Amber Dextrous, Beanrat was innocent, TrubhopDropper, Jack H, King of the Mole People Under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Lindsey W, Vaelyn, Paj, the bitchin' bunny bard. Carlin C, Noah the Bullywug boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G, Everything Bago, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger, Stripey. Daddy, Master Dandy.
Starting point is 01:30:20 Han, Eric B, Marcos, learns the balance druid, Frida M. Pago, self-proclaimed Faye King, asking you to watch The Disrupters starring Ally Beardsley and Grant O'Brien, Tracy P, the Crick elf librarian, Maggie S, Holly, the green laughing hyena, finally caught up to the Duck team, Akash, Thakkar, Cal, just Cal, Aaron B, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time, Cody C, Lorelai, the succub named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, every time. Cody C. Lorelei, the succubi. And Kira, the succulent snack. McKenna S. Your friendly neighborhood. Yont and Yonkel. Andrew and Sid.
Starting point is 01:30:54 John Adams, the write-in candidate for 2024. Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them. Turn to page 42. Keep them. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them. Turn to page 42. Keep them. Turn to page 69. Shane C. Barpo Goodbarrel. Bard. Barian. Welsh Lander. Garrett G. One Big Curd. Renee the Monster. Captain. Box. Clifton. Olivia the Enchanting Bard. And Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing Stick It to the Man down with the Monarchy. Winter. Slade. Fico. Garrett the Artificer, Damon J, Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh
Starting point is 01:31:30 H, the Fairies say whoop hat trick, yeet, Cantrip, Double Bear, the bear onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi H, No Drog, the pass a fist barbarian, Gino T, Gianluca, Tristan the Talentless Hunk, Leon K, Legendary Hero of Bohemia from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S, Alexander, Linz W, Angel, La Pamela, the Forever Vindicated, Pavu Escanor, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile, Tim M, a catnapping in a sunbeam listening to a podcast. MLG Cheeto, C Jam Hampton, Shell B, Kenna's now first favorite sprite girl manifesting a return to twank and hot boy summer 80s ski lodge winter jamboreen. Jackson R, snailist who's infecting Worcestershire Fortwithin,
Starting point is 01:32:20 official Ned Flanders, Memaw Skydays, Megan and Anthony B, Savannah H, Balnor's best friend, Steve, Stephanie of House Inzunza, Benjamin A, Gimli the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend, Mikkel A, Josh H, pilot of the Nightmare Verse flight, the two crew blew through, Jennery, Ethan the mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Ashesaurus, Seth E, Billy B, A.U. Caldwell, huge Caldwell stranded, Michael L.S. the second, Jacob the purveyor of shenanigans, Carl B. Plummer of the realm, Parcell, Dex, Riddlewell, Hannah A, Ra, AceDrags, Highlord of Critsburg, Darius D, Troy's mom, Vindygram, Thank you, everybody. Divi DeBakery, Nicole Catarina C, Lady Jacqueline P of Castle, Whitestone, and of course, Potato Punk.
Starting point is 01:33:28 Thank you, everybody.

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