Not Another D&D Podcast - Can They Kill It? (The Band of Boobs vs. The Astral DADnought)

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

The Band of Boobs take on a challenge rating 21 monster, the Astral Dreadnought, in a knuckle-biter combat challenge! Hardwon steals from Balnor's man cave, Moonshine falls in love with a poster, and Beverly is banished to the Teen Zone. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Big Crowd Chatter" by Kyster at Freesound.org."Crowd in a Bar" by Leandros Ntounis at Freesound.org."Skeeball" by RTB45 at Freesound.org."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is not another D&D podcast. ["Painter's Game of Thrones"] Welcome to Can They Kill It, Everyone. Can they kill it? Can they kill it? Can They Kill It? I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz, hard one, sure foot. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Post is a question, I love it. Emily acts for it. Boone chance, Abyn, raging symbiot. Ready for this one shot. Nice. And of course, called Waltanner. Beverly for this one shot. Nice. And of course, called Waltaner. Beverly Togo, the fifth, the non-canonical slayer

of demonicals. Ooh, that's right. Demonical, that sounds like something I'd like to wear. Oh yeah, it's like a monical, but it is inferno in it. Yeah, exactly. It's a monical wreath to inflame. Ooh, that'd be a good catch weapon. Yes, guys, this week we're gonna be doing a little non-canonical challenge called,

can they kill it where the band of boobs are going to enter directly in a combat against a challenging foe to see if they can indeed kill it? So, Marf, when we win, we're not gonna get the challenge, we're not gonna get the experience points. No, and when you die, you won't be permited either, cause I'm gonna fucking kill you. So it's more like Ken Murf killed now.

Yeah, Ken Murf killed them. But you would get DM levels. Yeah. Oh, what level DM are you? I'm a level. Whoa. Do you want the highest? Eat my ass, actually. Yeah, I what level DM are you? You I'm a level highest We're all good now we're feeling it anyway. I

Fielded requests out on Twitter. I asked people what they wanted to see the band of boobs fight No Twitter dot com. It's a terrible website check it out Twitter.com. Twitter.com. It's a terrible website. Check it out. I'd be glad to get an account. People sent in their suggestions. There were some great ones like doing like 500 to 1000 cobalts, which is a great idea, but

maybe not a good episode. See, I'd be ready to get you for the freaking live stream. Yeah. Just us slogging through a thousand cobbles. Yeah. Joylessly. Who dies for the band of boobs or us in real life? Yeah, from starvation.

I feel like that. I just purposely choked myself with a G-twine. I think that would have been really funny for the first five minutes. And then everyone would have hated themselves. Another funny idea was to have you guys fight yourselves. Like, I have your character sheets in front of you. I'd have her.

I'd lay down. Yeah. I'd appeal to my own empathy. I, A, didn't want to have to stock all of your guys' spells. That was the thing I didn't want to have to do. And then also, I thought it might get too competitive and we would all just be really quiet. Because it would make you guys look really bad if I want.

You would beat me. I would be upset when you beat hard ones. But when you played my character better than me, God damn, Wim, I wouldn't be up yet. If you beat me, I would just blame the roles. I'd be like, oh, the roles just weren't on my side. I blame the meta. I think it's the fucking meta. They got to push a patch. I think it would have got a bit nasty. So instead, I had a couple people suggest this monster. It's called the Astral Dreadnoughts. And I was wondering why people were bringing it up,

because it just sounded like a random monster. It sounds like a spaceship in my room. Yeah, it is an astral beast. It is challenge rating 21, which is a tough fight. You guys are not gonna have balknour on your side and you're not gonna have. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

we're not gonna have him on our side. Does that mean that he's fucking against us? You little weasel, go choke on ice. I'm gonna say you guys, you guys might be fighting an astral dadknot, and not a nice astral dreadknot. This will be one of the hardest challenges you guys have had on paper,

because the tarask, you guys essentially got layer actions where you got to use the dwarves. You had Apple and Mavers there. This is more similar to, basically, this is pretty close challenge rating to Fraz or Blue, which was the final form of Akkarat. But it'll just be you three guys, no pal nor hell, no scrumper.

Where do we stand on the best then? This creature will have a vest because it is an astral dad knot, and it is pal nor, but this has got to be like a zip up. Yeah, oh, father please be sure. It's a fleece. That performance. Sweet guys. So let's get into it.

Again, this is a non-acononical adventure. If I kill you when unless unless they win. Right. We're going to milk you for XP cow stories and real. I'm an experienced cow. I am my wife's XP cow and she's going to milk me. Okay, guys. I am my wife's ex-peakow and she's going to milk me Okay guys, so let me set the she's doing it Stop dodgy when it pulls

Something's coming out I'll be in there. There's there's milk in there weird Oh, this is so gross. Okay Okay, so um you guys are in Smuggler's Bounty. Smuggler's Bounty, the arcade is still there. This is in happier times. This is between the adventures, anime rules style, where this is an anime movie kind of doesn't follow the actual canon of our show. Right.

So you guys are in the arcade. You guys have heard about this great new game that's right next to Giant Shredder. Everybody's talking about all the forums. It's called Wrestle Your Dad. I mean, I've done that many times at this point. Lucana's loses every time. This is really where we see I and I move shine. I love to meet you guys. I love to squat in the corner. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys.

I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys.

I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys.

I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I love to meet you guys. I side of it, Balnor is going to play the dad. Wow. Yeah, you guys are going down. You guys didn't let me play last time. Do you know how the buttons work, Balnor? Oh, I know how the buttons work. Are you sure? I can write you a little note, give you a little cheat sheet.

I heard this side of it was easier, okay? So just back off, right? I like this Bev getting his head. I write him a cheat sheet. He starts sweating. I heard this side of it was easier, okay? So just back off, right? I like this Bev getting his head. I write him a cheat sheet. He starts sweating. I also go get an apple box to stand on. Nice, yeah.

Balnor out of pride does not use an apple box, but he is having to reach up to hit the buttons. I have to look into my hands so that my hands stick to the joysticks. And it ended as to not to do that. Deep squat. I put on a bright pink visor. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

And I wanted the gift shop. Nice. So you guys all gather around this machine. You see it starts up with the logo, which is an extremely buff dad with a gut and like a polo tucked into some khakis and he is just form tackling double leg takedown a really skinny teen. I salute him.

Wrestle your dad. And you guys see you three appear as fighters. You guys all appear on like one side of it. It's like very Marvel vs. Capcomby. You guys are all doing your like intro little moves. You know I'm calling lightning like Raiden. Just watch a crit call lightning. Moonshine calls lightning. I like spin my sword around but then I drop it and then I like pick it up again and pose. Guys, I do a hard duke. A du in. A duke in Street Fighter? Oh, okay.

And you guys see Boundor appears on the other side of you guys. You guys see that the stage that you guys are in, Astral Plane. You guys see the purple, silvery sky. You guys are on a large stage that looks like a big asteroid that's flying through the air. You see Balnor comes out and for his little like opening dance thing, he puts the bag down and you see he reaches out and a nearby star suddenly materializes, changes into an astral bud heavy, flies into his hand.

He chugs it. Here we go. You see, Balnor's halfling form explodes as he rapidly expands and turns into this giant colossus, this astral dreadnought that still has some of Balnor's features. You see, these are not a Balnor's features, but he's got like giant lobster claws, this is a gargantuan monster. He's got a giant maw. Looks like halfway between a huge crocodile

and like a huge wolf, got like big pointy fangs but then dozens and dozens and dozens of teeth and then you still see Balnor's eyes, the shark eyes looking at you guys. Oh, it's upgraded to a million yard stare and you guys see as he stares at you guys there's like a yellow light of spectral energy that comes out and encases you guys. And you guys see your magical weapons and stuff seem to disenchants, like things seem less magical. Hey, personal. Everybody roll initiative.

Oh! You motherfucker, I knew you'd do something like that. All I am is my magic hammer. What about just my hands in general though? Does it seem as though I've been robbed of my magic in general? It does. You see, he's doing like a flashlight essentially.

So there's a cone coming out from him that is hitting all three of you guys right now. So it looks like you can move and get around it. I see. So it is the actual skill he can do is 150 foot cone. So as you get closer to him, you guys will need to make the decision to like go around other sides of him and stuff. That will mean that you'll lose Bevzora and things like that.

How far away from him are we right now? You guys are 30 feet away. All right. So we're just deep in. I got a 20, not net. I got 23. I got a big beautiful beautiful, natural eight. All right, moonshine, you are first.

Round one, wrestle your dad. I did not, look, I looked through spells. I pretend to strain my ankle. Oh, time out, time out, time out. All right, I'm just gonna go ahead and I'm gonna hop out this cone. Okay, hmm sweet, so you run to the side you get out from Balnor Shark stair get over here. Get over here. You'll a rat. And then oh my god, he called to a rat. Well, he ain't wrong

And do I get the sense pop-up looks offended? Rear. No, no, no no no no you are not a rodent Um, do I get the sense that now that I'm out of it that my magic could work? I'll go ahead and give me an arcana check. Okay, gladly Three three Jesus um you have no idea Okay, all right then we're just gonna fuck a Lightning Bolt. Let's keep a classy with a level four Lightning Bolt. Okay, what kind of saved does he do?

Decks. That is a six for Balnor. This thing, Balnor in this form, the dad knot has even less decks than usual. So you see, streak of Lightning comes down and strikes him. Ow! My bad back.

Max is coming from me. And that's gonna be, let me roll this. Oh, Malora so many ones! Oh no! Oh! 27! 27. Lightning bursts from your hand and you shock giant boundoir.

Does it look like it hurts? Ow. Yeah, that's what I like to hear when I lose lightning. I love it when balknor gets hurt, I guess. Alright, at the end of your turn, balknor points at you as a legendary action with a big meaty lobster claw and he goes, Mujain, you're grounded. Go ahead and get charisma saving throw.

We don't do corporal punishment or act for time. And you moved out of my aura, didn't you? 12. You guys see Munchine disappears. You have no idea where she is. Munchine, you appear inside Boundor's Astral Man Cave. You see, he's got a super legit pool table.

He's got a super Nintendo and a Sega Genesis. What? Oh, that's a cool one. I want to be grounded. A big screen TV and a poster of Cindy Crawford in a one piece. However, you are stuck in the teen zone, which is a little circular. I can't get to Cindy.

You can't get to Cindy. You can't even fully see if it's her. You can't tell if it's Cindy or Kathy Ireland. It's so blurry. But you are in this fear, in the sphere that is a prison, the teen zone within the man cave. and you just hear an echoing voice Throughout Balanore's man cave. You're not allowed to touch this stuff. This is dad's

Cindy save me That is my cast charm person on Cindy That's right there hard ones turn That's right there hard ones turn Right, I'm gonna button mash against my old dad here right now. I'm gonna roll all three of my attack Oh, wait, I'm gonna roll out of the cone so I can hit him with my magic hammer sweet As as I'm rolling can I call my dwarf daddy's to yes, that'll be an action so you'll need to do action search I sure will sweet dad's on dad's on dad's Dad show up.

We're the real dad nods. That's right. Yeah. We got a ground this guy. So now, I'm going to action search and take all three of my cracks at Balnor. Sweet. That is a 20, not net, and a 28.

Sweet. And the other one was a net one. So, okay, yeah, I imagine that isn't good. No, you do that thing where when you're button-matching, you accidentally block instead of punching. So you do a real stutter step as you block and try to run forward, but you strike twice on Balnor. I paused the game twice, so it wasn't button-match. Yeah.

35 damage from me nice You know out your spectral hammer you do a weird block run you get forward and you swing into Balnor Shion Mawn you knock what is teeth out? That's gonna cost a fortune I heard our dad Bok, I think I heard our dad. Hahaha. Now my dwarf daddy's- Yes, I don't know what to say for that. He'll do a wisdom saving throw.

He passes the wisdom saving throw, but go ahead and roll your dice and he'll take half. That was the saddest fucking roll ever of four. Yeah, it's total. So he took two. Great. Thanks. Thanks, Dads. Yeah, I guess it was awesome. this is not good we did a bad job and we apologize

I didn't know you were a gamer at the end of your turn hard one but no it's gonna attack you with one of his claws why don't I get grounded I'm gonna claw yeah hard one trust me you don't want to go here. You're so close to Cindy Crawford, but you can't get to her actually Is it Cindy Crawford does she have She's holding a Pepsi That's a 23 to hit hard one That oh, I'm gonna cast Shield, my magic initiate. Okay, and you got out of the way of the anti-magic field, so you're good.

You cast Shield, you block. Dorf Daddy's getting the way. See, they'll do a little useful, maybe. You're right. We tried. Okay, then that is Balnor's turn. Those were legendary actions. So Balnor is now going to,

he's gonna take some attacks on hard one here. Deadies. First two, claw attacks. First one is a 33 to hit. Okay. Yeah, okay. 18 damage to hard one. Okay.

Next one is in that three that's gonna miss, and the last attack is a bite. Ooh, no, that's a 35 to hit, I rolled a net 19. It also hits. You take 27 damage, hard one as giant bound or bites you. Good swallow, yeah. That was a card. Ground to me.

I was a damn coward. Honestly, I really feel like you need this win, but I don't want you to. I know. That's your turn. Okay. Yeah, he is coming in with divorce dad energy. Sure.

All right, so I'm going to first of all, cast a ball of in-midi on ball nor. Nice. And I think this translates as me covering his eye so we can't see the controller. I'm sure that. And get off me. Get off.

It's not against the rules. It's not against the rules. And I'm gonna go ahead and attack. Sweet. Are you trying to get around the anti-magic field? Yes. Can I try and like, actually here's a question. Is the bag still here? Balmora's bag, is it still like on this rock that we're on?

Yeah, cool. I'm in ahead towards the bag. Is that in the field or is that out of the field? I imagine it's like, it's like behind him. Cool, I'm in ahead towards that. Great. And then I'm gonna slash as I go. Sweet, so I do, I try and do a triple jump, okay?

Nice. Woo, woo, woo, woo! Woo! Hey, you do the weird block thing, the hard one just to. Ha, ha, ha. Does a 20 hit, it does. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and do a third level divine smite.

Sweet. That's gonna be 32 damage on the first attack. Nice. Yeah. Swing into him burst of radiant energy. Get rex. Oh, that was cheap, man. That was cheap.

You're cheating. I'm not. I clearly have combos written on my palm. It's not cheating, that's studying. That's 21 to hit. That hits. That hits. Great. All right.

I'll just do a normal attack on this one. Right on. That's 16 more damage. And as a free action, can I see if I can see any bud heavies in the bag? Sure. I mean, there's definitely bud heavies in the bag. All right, can I try and mage hand one out? Yeah, cool.

Sure, go ahead and I guess give me a slide of hand. Cool. Oof, that's only an eight. You go to reach the Bud Heavys. No, no, he grabs your wrist. He turns from hard one and gives the shark eyes to you, Bev. Oh, now you go to the teen zone. Just a sip.

I just wanted a sip. You're too young. Can you even drink those with your claw hands? guys to you, Bev. Oh, now you're going to the team zone. Just a sip. I'm taking it to the team zone. I just wanted a sip. You're too young. Can you even drink those with your claw hands at the end? Oh, are you kidding me? He takes the cap off so cool. Oh, no. It looks like a pot of open air.

He made him even cooler. You know what? He looks at you, Bev. And he goes, it'll just be me and you in a second. You're not allowed in the teen zone. You're not even allowed in the teen zone. I should be the only one in the teen zone. You're not even allowed in the teen zone.

Let's say you, hard one, hard one. Go ahead and give. Cindy's in a one piece. Hard one, go ahead and give me a charisma saving throw. Finally. You say we're finally going on a father-son trip? That's a 12, baby. That's a 12 baby. That's a 12 baby.

Good side, you see hard one appears in the team zone next to you inside the main gate. Saving through a failed twins. Hard one. You've got to make me look cool. It's so good to see you, but look at Cindy Clawford is here and we can't see you. Cindy Clawford can't even be there.

We're in terrible place if you banish them too. I attack the chain link fence that I imagine separates us. Fuck! Screaming. Sweet. That takes us to... Moon Shine's turn. Moon Shine. Yeah, what's my situation in the sphere? You are stuck. That takes us to moonshine's turn. moonshine.

Yeah, what's my situation in the sphere? You are stuck. Am I able to take any actions? You reappear at the end of your turn. At the end of my turn. Yeah, so you can. I'm stuck in here. Whatever you do now.

You know what? It takes a full action for me to send my attic entity, so I might as well do that. Nice. Sweet. So I might as well do reappear and hawkspores at him. You look so sweet. Oh, sweet. You look so do that. Nice sweet. So I might as well do three of peer and hawks boars at him. You look so sweet. Oh, sweet. And just get real horned up.

I look at Cindy Crawford and just like shiver and mushrooms come out of me. And then I re-appear and smear them up, balanore. You hear balanore echoing through with the man cave. Stop, stop looking at Cindy Crawford. That's my poster. I don't know if I should be alone in here. I'm here, I can see everything. You will have a full turn to do what I can see.

I can see everything. I'm gonna symbiotic entity too. That's gonna be what's left over in here. No hard one. Since I symbiotic, it's 18. Sweet, Mocha, you appear. You spit spores at the end of your turn. At the end of your turn, he's going to do a claw attack on Bev.

27 to hit. Oh, that does. That's a claw. That's a big 16 damage. OK. Then that is hard one turn, hard one, you have an action and you can do whatever you'd like within reason.

And then at the end of your turn, you reappear. How is this a punishment? Why don't you qualify it within reason? What are you saying? I'm afraid what you're gonna say. I resent that, but I appreciate it. Thanks for saving me for myself. That said, I am gonna take my javelin, stick it through the chain link fence,

and see if I can spear a corner of the Cindy Crawford poster. I'm gonna let up and put it in my pocket. Jesus Christ. He's like a grappling hook to try it on. He's like a grappling hook to try it like? He's like a grappling hook to grab some poster and bring it back. Yeah, that's what I want to do. Okay.

Savor from this prison heart. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say DC25 athletics check. And then after that we'll do a luck check to see how much of the poster gets ripped off. Oh no! What? Yeah. This is cool. That's a 25 I rolled

Okay, 25 all right now go ahead and roll me a nat go ahead and roll actually roll a D100 and that's what percentage of the poster you get Wow This is he's throwing a grappling hook. I love it. I'll just go here. Trainily's get thigh, dude. Oh yeah. Aim for the hot parts, which is everywhere. 66.

66, right? Oh my 66% of 66%. That's true. Yeah, of course, dude. You get one claw and most of the one piece. Do you get a bit of eye though, because I am sort of a bit of a romantic? Yeah, can I, and I want the beauty mark? You can't get eyes to the beauty mark.

You can't get eyes to the beauty mark. She also has like a sun hat on. Dude. Get some sun hats too. Yeah, you got, you got some sun hat. None of the eyes, but for a sapio sexual like hard one, that's not gonna do anything. This was the best turn I've ever had in my entire family.

I did do. So hard one. You appear back entire plane. So, hard one. You appear back on the astral plane, hard one. And founder goes, hey, give me that. You ruined it. No neither of us have it. Where were you? Hard one, that was so brave.

He has no legendary actions, otherwise he'd kill you. A nod solemnly at Moonshine. I look at him with just absolute gravity. That is bound to our story. We're going to try to end Beverly's life. Why did you banish them to your private room? I wanted to torture them. I didn't know they were going to stick stuff through the fence

and try to grab my poster. That's like a cosmoting someone in the kitchen with their own house. There's a sign that says you can't use the pool table unless you're a New York Giants fan. And I know hard one loves the chargers. And I know hard one loves the chargers. That's a 20-watt. A 21 to hit bat. A 21 just hits. Okay, so first claw attack hits, second claw attack hits,

and the bite attack hits. So you are going to take. Great stuff. 38 damage from the two claws. Okay, and then an additional 38 damage from the fight since he- It's in me to the team, so to heal. Should've tried to have my beers.

This game has changed you. Then that is. I don't remember you being so petty and so pretty, but Cindy. That's here to her, Bev. You guys are little thieves. You go with the med cave. You try to keep Cindy for yourself, don't you know?

Give me that, Claude. Where are hardwawn in Moonshine now? Are they in the spell zone? Yeah, I don't know. How do I lower the tattered remains of Cindy? I'm gonna, yeah, their tears staining it. I'm gonna say he's looking at you right now, Beth. Okay, cool.

So he's got the cone on me. On you. Great. Shoot, that means I can't cast a spell, which is what I wanted to do. Okay, cool. So there so he's got the cone on me on you great Shoot that means I can't cast a spell which is what I wanted to do correct Then I'm going to you know, I'm gonna do I'm a misty step nice over to where God damn you're right I got stared down I can stare down on you. Huh all right. Yeah Yeah, it was a card, but look what I own now. You're a card, but you might not be a card anymore, but you're still pretty flimsy.

Oh, all right. And I try and ram into him. Drag him, Beverly. Drag him to death. I'm going to take another attack. Sweet. That's going to be a 24 to hit. That hits.

Let's go ahead and do. You know what? Yeah's do let's do a staggering smite sweets. Oh Bev as you go to do the staggering smite go ahead and cross off that spell slot what it dies in your head That's soon as you start to cast the counter spelled me. No dude anti magic. Oh my god. Why do I keep forgetting what the ultra-merged fuel Get your head in the game to go But I can do like can I do like divine smites you can try Okay, I do 16 damage on my first attack. Oh, it feels like it's not as much as you wanted it to be Young puns who told you how to play this game? I shouldn't have given you that cheat card. I'm just smashing the buttons. 22 to hit hits. Oh, bear on rules.

That's going to be 11 damage. Sweet. At the end of your turn, Balnor is going to, let's see, is going to look at hard one, and he goes, I told you, put that back. Go ahead. I didn't take anything, dude. Go ahead and give me a charisma saving throw. I see everything in the game. Oh god, dammit, that's another, that's,

oh, that's another 12, but I'm gonna use my, endominable red on thing. See if I can reroll this. Get a look, there we go, 21. 21, you pass, you do not get sent to the teen zone. I don't need to go back there, I've got everything I want. Yeah, honestly, the pool table, I must look at. Much at the church, okay. I'm not allowed to use it

So I'm in symbiotic entity pop-offs here. Yes or no? Yeah, pop-offs here. Okay pop-off go after him This is a 23 hit 23 does it okay pop-offs gonna do Pop-offs gonna do 11 damage nice and then Beth how fucked are you? How about I was gonna do 11 damage? Nice. And then Bev, how fucked are you? A little fucked. Can I pull Bev out of this magical area?

I don't think you're gonna be able to move him enough in that turn to get it out of his gaze. Okay, Bev, get out of this gaze. And next turn, you gotta heal on me, okay? Okay, I'm tired of him looking at me. Yeah, and then I guess I- It's dead shark, I guess. I will guardian of nature

and attack. That's not gonna hit. I do not hit. Okay, you go up behind him, but while he's looking off towards in Bev's direction. And I support him for 18. And he's supporting for 18. He's actually looking a little messed up. At the end of your turn, he is going to claw attack Bev. Uh-oh. That is a... What, look in at me! That's a 28-to-hit. And that's 20 damage. Just send me to my room. I don't want to be here! Right.

Um, that is... Hard one, sir. Quit picking on my little brother. That is a 25. That hits. A 20, not net. That hits. And another net one. Yeah, he's...

Go me. Thanks for sticking up for me. That is 36 damage. 36 damage. Damn. Yeah, you run up to Boundor, as he's got this beam coming out of his eyes, giving the shark eyes to Bev,

and you just crack him right across the face. Ow. That's where accusing me of stealing a potion, that I didn't freaking steal. She'll be your pockets. That's being a bummer right now. I tear an eye and I hand it to Moonchen. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. I'm making such an intimate connection. Sweet. Foundlors looking pretty messed up. He's getting pretty tired. He's like somebody that's thrown his kids at the pool for too long. All right, everybody back off. Leave me alone.

I need to relax. She tired from hitting all those buttons? No, I'm not tired. Everyone relax. You seem tired. Everyone relax. I'm breathing real heavy. I'm not tired. Take a day off. No, not tired, everyone relax. You seem tired. Everyone relax, it's not tired. It's really really heavy. I'm not tired.

I can do this. Do you need to sit down, man? He's gonna go ahead and do a claw attack on Bev. Oh no. That's a day. A-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h- hits you for 13. Okay. Get out of that gaze, I can heal you, youngin'. Seconds, Klaut attack is only a 20 to hit. Mrs. Mrs. He's going for the bite.

Nice, A, see my friend. I suck in my butt. Ha ha ha ha. Perfectly flat. And that is a 28 to hit on the last one. Uh oh, uh oh. That is 36 damage on the bite. I'm down.

Um, you guys see Beverly is swallowed? What? And disappears. Excuse me? Beverly, Beverly, you wake up super, super injured in the team zone. No! Do I see any magazines with like football players on them or like maybe like a bodybuilding magazine? There's some muscle and fitness.

I may chandit. Yeah. He's going to give you a slide of hand. 17. 17. You're able to grab it. Yeah, go ahead and give you a slide of M. 17, 17, you're able to grab it. Go ahead and give me a pure luck, Jack. So, wait, so Bev went down and was automatically swallowed? Yes. Okay.

He's inside the man cave. I'm using my last ounce of strength to do this. Yeah. Just, it's a six. You go to grab the magazine and you rip it, and unfortunately Hugh Jackman is on the cover and he has his shirt on. No!

And you know, you see it. I'm tied to the shirt. I'm tied to the shirt. It's pretty tight. It's pretty tight. But you see it has fallen over. And you see that there is a full spread of him dead lifting with a shirt off But you can't get to it.

Vanger's so ropey! He's like 55 out of his E-Maintain! That is back up to Moonshive. Okay. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall in the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

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wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slashcom slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti style Tumblr. You won't want to take your burdogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Do I got any good berries on me for this one shot?

Do you have any good berries on you? No, you guys are like fresh on all your spell stuff. Oh, fucker. So Bev's just in there, fuck. Fins it down. All right, stabilized room. I just kind of in like a, in a, you're just knocked out.

Okay, I think you, I think this doesn't even auto kill you. Once it gets you down to zero, it takes you to, this is, I'm doing a very silly version of it, but essentially what happens is inside this thing's stomach, it basically sends you to another plane. Like a demi-dynamic from the prison. I thought that was from life. Well, here it says, yeah, here it says,

the teens zone with the Z, and I've taken out the Z. Okay. Nice. I don't know how, we're gonna get back from this, but I think I'm gonna plane shift into the team zone I'll be around To bring them back to life you are down, right? Like Bev is down. Yeah, um, you'll arrive in the team zone

And you find barely laying unconscious covered in a cover of Hugh Jackman for Muscle and Fitness. I look around for Kathy Ireland. Going to give you a pure luck, Jack. 14. There is a, it looks like this was not a poster.

This was a picture from a magazine. Looks like there is one near the pool table. I don't know that I missed that. I almost got it all. Um, is Bev's Maychan still out? Can I whip it towards it? How much you do? I like that the word whip has a reaction.

Go ahead and do a slight event or a con. Uh, 20. 20. Uh, yeah, you, you got it. Yes! We'll walk to see how much of it rips off or a hundred D 100 43 43% Yeah, you get some of Kathy Ireland's leg and arm. I want the eyes and you can make that connection if I'm gonna be able to make this word

It's gotta mean something. You just see the gaze. Okay, and then that's all I can do because it took a full action to play and shift here. So I'll just heal Beverly next turn. I'm sorry, but I'm here. I'm here. I don't know how we can get out. I'm so soothing.

I don't know how we're gonna get out. I have no fucking girl. It's my only seventh almost spell. I'm holding the magazine. I'm like on page 73, he reveals all. I don't know if that means like about his life or his end. Can I tenderly cradle Beverly's head in my lap and soothingly read the reveal all of he jacked in?

Yeah. So he said that when he, I'm crying because I'm worried about Beverly. The first step, he's not a musical. He knew. He loved the theater. He's such a multi-talented man. He acknowledges in this.

He's talented enough. He doesn't need to be this ripped, but he is. He's a true polymath. At the end of Moonshine's turn, he's gonna be able to take a claw attack on hard one. It's just hard one. Come on. Fighting this giant monster.

Give it back. I didn't take anything. That's 21. After your box gets then. 21 hits, I assume. Oh yeah, that hits 20. 20 damage. Oh, Papa was still out there though.

So Papa does get to do an attack Okay, even though I playing shifted in Does a 17 hit it does not okay, he misses That is hard one stern And the hard one he is now he's now looking at you Of course All right, I'll take all three of my roles at Bok Yeah. That is I crit twice.

That's two. Wow. Woo. And then the other one is a 25. So that's going to be a bunch of holy shit. If hard one hits him hard enough, is that going to make his stomach spasm in which case he'll like plain vomit us up? He's astral stomach, yeah.

If you guys, how much damage does hard one have to do in order to make him plain vomit? No amount of damage. You guys are stuck in his man cave until he's defeated. Cool. What if he hit him in the astral nads? True. Oh, hard one.

You actually, so while he's looking at you, your hammer ceases to be magical So you lose that D6 on every rule god damn it. Well, it would have been 79 damage and that that would have been really good Jeez so how many so just a detent just a detenty chat Do you have any way to get us out of here? I just didn't want you to be dead in here and not be able to play along. I have Dimension Door.

I don't think that would work. Could try it. We'll get creative. I think I have had an idea. Okay, cool. Maybe. I need to be awake first. I know, no, I'm gonna heal you.

Okay, and I've got the amulet too. 53 damage. Dang. Mighty combo, a hard one you go forward. You are smashing the buttons. It's one of those things where you smash the buttons, but then it goes to like a little cut scene and you do like a million little hits. Oh, my rumble pack is going off. It's going ham. You brought your own rumble pack. going off it's going ham. You brought your own rumble pack. Hard one, you hurt him quite bad. He's looking quite hurt, but at the end of your turn, he's going to take another claw attack on you.

That's 21 to hit. That's 13 damage on that one. Okay. And then that is BALNORS turn. He's going to take three attacks on you. First claw attack is a 32 to hit that is 27 damage good second claw attack is a 21 to hit That's 23 damage Whatever tries to fight you

That's a 32 to hit that is 36 damage on the bite who cares? And then we are going to go up to Bev. Bev, go ahead and give me a death saving throughout. Gladly. Come on, please. Now, 20. Okay, 15. It's one in the positive. Okay, it's one in the positive. At the end of Bev's turn, you see Bev starts to come up as you talk more about you, Jackman. And at the end of Bev's turn. You see Bev starts to come up as you talk more about you, Jackaman. And at the end of Bev's turn, takes a claw attack on hard one. Ooh, shout out to the two crew.

I remember that. Do I go back out of this, no, you were consumed? You were stunned. That's why I felt like I needed a plane to have been there. So that is moonshine's turn. All right, I'm casting a six level heel. That's 70 hit points for Beverly, bringing him back to life.

It's gonna be beautiful. And then, well, Poppa was out there, so he's gonna attack. Yeah. Does a 20 hit. A 20 does hit. Ha, ha, ha. It's gonna, ooh, that's gonna be 14 for Papa.

Ooh, okay, Papa gets them down real low. This is getting close. I'm in here, I'm in here. I'm looking around, I haven't, oh yeah, I have used that, but I'm looking around, like, is there any, is there a picture of Balnor in his own man cave? Yeah, there's a picture of him fishing. There's actually quite a few pictures of him with you guys.

I look at the one who got fishing and I hawks boars at it. Spores for 18. You completely destroy one of its stages. Oh, that was one of the biggest dude I ever got. That was a great day. Well, now it'll just be another story you told. We had a solid day. We rented that dinghy.

But it didn't do anything. It didn't like give him a solid day. We were rid of that dinghy. But it didn't do anything. It didn't give him a gag reflex. No, it's made a plainer gag reflex. Can you only plane shift ones? It's a seventh level spell, and it's my only seventh level. Yeah, I want to turn like some player. Mine, I didn't have an exit plan. But if Bev just died in there, it's honestly so close.

Dying in the teen zone. Ah, sweet. OK, so then at the end of Mojang's turn another claw attack on hard one 32 to hits that's 27 damage. Oh, yeah, I had one hit point. Oh Always bluffing before I was down Hard one that's your turn Shit shit shit. Hard one that's your turn. So I'm not dying in a team zone.

I guess that's a death set. Wait, I'm down in the team zone with these guys. No, you're in, you just got caught. He didn't get swallowed. He doesn't even go into the, I thought if he died in the gaze, you go to the side. No, only if you get swallowed. Yeah.

This was the worst way to die. So give me a dead saving throw God damn it. At least you get sent out to the three creed. Oh, but I have I get to use abdominal a bowl twice Sweet. Oh, that's a saving throw. Not a death. You realize this is a terrible message to send to people out there that if you try to save your friends You'll actually all die. Yeah, yeah You try to save your friends. This is really the moral you want you want to send some sort of Individualist message a video game is this the message you want to send to fathers? They should swallow their sons are they yeah, is that we're just fucked up? I'm trying to save the message you guys are talking so much shit before and now you're all stuck in the team zone

Wait, Merp and domatable works as a saving throw. Yeah, you reroll saving throw. Great. What'd you get on the reroll? A two. Oh, god. Shout out to the two crew. OK. So our hard one starts to choke.

At the end of Hard One's turn, it is pretty much up to Pappappan to do this. And Pappan can do it because I will let you guys all know right now. Boundore is at seven HP. Oh, okay. But at the end of Hard One's turn, he's going to take a claw attack against Papa. First attack, or it's just a one claw attack it hits.

Okay. That is 17 damage to Papa. Papa stands. Yes. Oh my God. Wow. That is Bound to Papa. Papa stands. Yes. Oh my god. Wow. That is Boundor's turn. Boundor is going to bite a tech on Papa.

That's 21 hit Papa. Yeah, hit. Papa takes 34 damage. Papa's down. You see Papa snoring appears in the teens don't stop there. Papa! How can we get us back? Do you know playing chips?

Papa do you want this sexy possum calendar I found? Papa nods slowly. I don't know what Belnor have this Then that is Bev's turn. Okay Can I use magic in here? I've used my mage hand so I sue my can yeah, you can great I'm going to misty step out of the cage and onto the pool table And then I hold up my sword and I shout, unless you want this pool table to be a bunch of kindling, you let us out of here right now.

And don't hey, get easy, easy. I'll do it. Relax. I'll freaking do it. I'll trash this place, old man. I'll trash your old man. I'll trash this, this is why you're not allowed to eat. I don't freak in here.

I don't freaking care. Who do your friends are in here? You're all good games. You know he's touching the sides of me. You're all good games. You're the games. You're all over the side. You're all good. You. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Wait, hold on, okay, I'm gonna say this is going to be a DC let's say 18 intimidation check. Oh

Just one good roll. That's all I want I Guess I thought when we ha ha. This is 30 20 baby nice 30 you You you hear his voice echoing throughout the cave he goes you get you get out of there, you get back at the teen zone, get out of there, you little rat at the end of your turn. You reappear back on the astro plane. Awesome. Can he use my amulet as well?

As a bonus, actually, you can use your amulet. Great, cool. Sorry, Moonshine, I was trying to get all of us, but. Yeah, it's nice try. But hopefully you could just threaten something else in the room? Yeah, I already tried that kind of. Moonshine, that is your turn. My turn?

Okay, put Pond Pond into my bib and I'm going to try to also threaten the pool table. So, I go to attack the pool table. I'm going to say at this point, he has confirmed really afraid of you to attack the pool table. I'm gonna say at this point, he has is confirmed of really afraid of you guys touching the pool table. What do you specifically say that you're gonna do to it? I say I'm gonna peel all the filth off. Don't you? You would it.

You would it dead. I'm gonna peel all the filth off. No, I got a red one. I got a red one because they're cooler than the green one. I'm gonna feel that pretty yellow three ball. At the end of your turn, Moonshine, you whew, a beer back on the astro plane. Sweet! I fucking lighten and bolt him!

No, at the end of your turn. He's not, he's not gonna trick me. I had reaction 18, 18 damage. Smores, bitch! I'm gonna say that Balnor knows your skills, knows your moves, and I'm gonna say that the spores are a little bit of an a magical ability. So here's what I'm gonna ask for you to do. He basically had it set up so that when you show up he's looking at you. So I want you to go ahead and give me an arcana check. But this is not candid, right?

My spores won't be considered a magical ability in future months. No, no, no, no. This is just We're having a little fun here. We're trying to keep it even. So you appear he's looking in your direction as he summons you back. He sees that you have Kathy Ireland. He's furious. Go ahead and give me an Arconis check. I'll say DC 15.

If you can do that, you can do your spores. Okay. I'm going to lock eyes with Kathy. Lock eye with Kathy. Yeah, you just got one eye. And then can I get the help action from Kathy? You have a plus zero right now, because we said you don't have the thinking cap, right? Yeah. So you have to get a 15 or higher, right? Yeah. I will allow Kathy to give you the help action. That's what the eye is about. It's the connection. I hold up Hugh as well. It feels so fucking real happy I guess it wasn't real

All right, Kathy I throw capy away. Give me Cindy Bucha tries doesn't get it End of moonshine's turn he's going to claw attack Bev. That's a 22 to hit. Bring it. That is, you love that pool table more than you love me. 20 damage, Bev. Okay.

Then that is hard one's turn, hard one go ahead and give me a death saving throw. Gladly. Hard one just quietly dies in the main game. That's a five. Wait, you're in the main game. No, he's not in the main game. He's just suffering on the grass. He's just suffering on the grass.

He's just suffering on the grass. He's slowly dying on the grass. He's slowly dying on the grass. He's slowly dying on the grass. At the end of, at the end of hard one's turn, he's going to take another claw attack on Bev. He gets a 31 to hit. That does it. 16 damage Bev. 16, okay. Yeah. Then that is Boundorse Turn. First claw attack against

Bev is only a 20. That misses. Second claw attack against Bev is a NAP one. He does not get to reroll it because he's not in hapling for him, but then he takes a bite That's it 28 to hit and hits and he does 45 damage on the bite. Oh, oh, I'm still up. Oh, you stay up He's trying to swallow you you can see the team zone deep deep in his throat as he tries to swallow you I I toss some pepper into his nostrils. Ah! Sweet. So I'm gonna say he's like positioning himself so he can like kind of look at both of you guys, but on your turns if you want to move around, you can move around. Okay.

Bev, that is your turn. My turn? All right. I'm just gonna book it to hard one and touch hands him for 65. You would need to take an opportunity attack. I'm with Cindy, let me die. No! No!

Ah! Oh, opportunity. Um, uh, uh, uh, and I'm in the gaze so I can't do anything magic, can I? Right, shoot. You do know he's, I showed my hand before because I thought it was just gonna be him versus Papa. You do know he has very little HP.

All right, hard one, be him vs. Papa. You do know he has very little HP. All right. Hard one hang in there No, I I'm going to a better place Cindy don't let him die I pray to Cindy Cindy bring our boy home Cindy I am going home. I'm going home with Cindy Hard one you feel yourself drifting towards the Pepsi commercial. Don't go towards the claws, hard one. Don't go towards the fence. Look what you've done here. Hard one.

You haven't even met Kami. You haven't even met Kami. It's the joy of Kola, hard one. Hard one, you. He wants to work out with you. He wants to show you his technique. All right. Yeah, I'm going to attack Bell.

Sweet. Does my Bell Vennuity drop when I die? It does. Yes. OK, cool. So that is a 16 to hit. Does that hit? Goddamn.

Oh, my goodness. I can make this work. I can make this work if you can't. I can make this work God I can make this work I can make this work if you can I can make this work I can make this work I'm gonna well I can I'll just cast development midi again as a bonus action. So sweet. I got it back up Let's see Okay, does a 23 hit it does oh, yeah, okay All right, I take I take the picture of you Jack men and I like I eat it what did you what is wrong you that's why you're done to let the bag is I very well I very quietly stroke Kathy Aril and I say I'll

never do that You always just eat and chips and touch in the magazine to get them all greasy They're just magazines you can't do all greasy collectors additions. I did that one. It's from 2012 I was thinking about trying to work out plan All right, that's 13 damage, Beverly Finisher. Yes! I use minor illusion to make myself look like Cindy Crawford. You're face but also your hand. Exactly, you have claws.

What a woman. your face but also your hand. Yeah, you're exactly like your cloth. Mm-hmm. And I look back. What a woman. What a woman. Beautiful. Wink it moonshine. You look back at hard women. I wink back but cover Kaviarla's eyes. So she does a seamy flirt with Cindy Cawper.

I love it. It's just regular Kaviarla but then Cibi Cawper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And take a Pepsi and I snip the top off.

Oh, that's really just sharp. Be careful with that. And then I toss it to hard one. And then I just, just, 1000 snips. Sweet. You do an amazing Marvel vs. Capcom style combo.

You destroy Balnor. As he starts to come apart, you see the man cave begins to materialize. Moonshine, that is your turn. Can you save hard one so that he can use the pool table before the game ends? I cast a mask here, woo. Yes.

So pop-hop and hard one come up. Right here. And Kathy Ireland comes to life. Can I awaken Kathy Ireland? Hi. Yes, she is a picture that could speak now. Amazing. Kathy Ireland does not show up.

Her picture does. You're great, Mochai. Classic Kathy Ireland impression. That's a throwback. You're great, Mochai. Classic candy, I'll end up fresh. That was a throwback. So you guys all pop back up and you guys hear the voice from within the game go, you win! And you guys are now inside Balnor's Man Cave and Balnor's trapped in the teen zone. Hey!

Oh my god. Slap. Papa, I'm solid I'm solids your stripes No, don't let them don't let them scramble up on there. I was gonna ruin the felt Bound are I spilled Pepsi on the super Nintendo. Oh, no, no, no, no, no Clean it though. You're always a sticky get away from everything Beverly any paper towel. I filled on the pool table What if you spill you've been here for two seconds I'd have Pepsi Creek water

And still a quick stole Pepsi as the band of boobs. I would say the band of boobs are so disgusting and Clumsy that they're not even vindictively Distring Balnor's man cave. They just accidentally destroy it as they enjoy it. I'm necking with The picture of Kathy Hale God damn why does Moochon get all the tail? Insane The gay men you guys are back in smugglers bounty good game guys. Hey, yeah, it really was Wait, where did Kathy go? And that's where we'll end up There's bounty good game guys. Hey, yeah, it really was

Where did Kathy go and that's where we'll end up That was extremely silly guys. That was very fun Thank you for that Low stress, but high stress scenario. Yeah, yeah, Jesus. How did I care about death saves in a video game? Yeah, yeah, Jesus. How did I care about Deathsaves in a video game? I don't know what you did. It was, yeah, that was a pretty close fight. That was a good challenge rating. Challenge rating 20 is 20.

I think if I had it. So my thought behind Plainshift was, it kept spitting us out at the end of the turns. Yes. So I thought, oh, I'll get in there. Because I was like, since I'm, but I thought maybe it wouldn't for Beverly because he was swallowed. So I was like, if Beverly'm, but I thought maybe it wouldn't for Beverly because he was swallowed.

So I was like, if Beverly stays down, I need to plane shift in, then he'll be able to come out, but that really would, that really just, one of his legendary actions is that he sends you temporarily. Yeah. But if you go there,

like I'm not fully understand why it didn't work. Luckily the pool table gambit. I just wanted to defend my reasoning. I say save it for the short rest, but I'm gonna be talking entirely about Cindy Clawford in the entire rest. So it's good to get this stuff out. I'm truly sorry.

Sweet guys, thank you so much for listening. You can head on over to the short rest, our patreon.patron.com slash natpa, this n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing it. He's the most singing guy. I almost do. I just want into so bad. I forgot.

Does anybody have anything they want to plug this week? I'll plug our PO box. It's been a little while. It is. Overflowing our PoBoiBox. I'm sorry. 1920. It is overflowing our PoBoiBox Number 222 Los Feliz California 9.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0. you're dead. If you don't mind. But here's a couple non-poe boy-related gifts

that we've received recently. There's a big slew of them. We've got a bit of a backlog because of sweet, little Christmas gifts. But here's some fun stuff that folks have sent us. Want to give them shout outs. We got some nice letters from 16-bit boy, leader of a dimension traveling group of bounty hunters

called the Knights of Rights, notes and a glow in the dark postcard from Brian C.H. Hell yeah, I love postcards, I collect them. Then your stack grows ever higher. Thanks to our from Brian. Letter and a save the date from Paulian Nicholas, congratulations. We should just do it a little bit there.

We should do a wedding tour. Desperately, we're gonna go to a wedding tour. We can really plot it out, yeah. I'm We should go winning tour. Desperately. Absolutely. We could really plot it out. Yeah. I'm going to need a plus eight. I'm coming. I'm rolling deep.

If you guys could coordinate and have them all around each other, like within a couple days. Yeah. So yeah, it's a couple days to explore the town. Yeah. Obviously, the shows would be tasteful. I mean, we would have to perform them during the rehearsal dinner, but like they'd be tasteful. They'd be, they'd be working with you.

I really think your friends and family would enjoy it. Yeah, just get your parents' brought into the world. Yeah, well we're gonna bump your parents' feet. It'd be that part of this night when, like they're passing the mic around to anyone that wanna says anything, and you would just stand up and you take it.

And you take it. And you do a full three hour behumus. We would exactly. Our council of elders. We also got some enamel pins. Oh, these are fun. There's a plus one flail and a BDSM possum from Arlin aka LunglessArt.com. LunglessArt, LunglessArt.com. Very sexy.

Oh, and last but not least, a Goats in Sweaters calendar from Lauren. Sweater Goats on Insta. There is a different sweater goat for every month of the year. There was also a note for Emily, which I did not open because I'm an honorable gentleman. Yeah. But, yes, that's all we have.

Thank you so much. Sweet, Jake, what do you got? Sweet. You know, head gum just launched five new shows. Oh yeah. So check out headgum.com. There's a bunch of new podcasts out there. One of them is hosted by me. So if you like that, you can subscribe. Just me. Just you.

Well, actually I hosted with my brother, but it's kind of the same thing. Sweet guys, follow us on Twitter at CHMurf is me. Add called the is called well, adiacs for Nuzemily and add Jake Herwitz's Jake, and Tweet about the show using hashtag n and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Starting with Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Jack L. The programmers who made the Wrestle Your Dad game at Smuggler's Bounty, countless birthdays and anniversaries were missed as this team worked nonstop to make sure the Cindy Crawford poster was as accurate as possible. Thank you for that.

And next up we got beer mandin, Anamar, Danielle, the dastardly dame, Alucard, and Alexander T, a team of celestial brewers who created an all-new, smooth sipping beer exclusively for astral dadnots called, but, heav in Lee. Howdor Frostback, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S, Cutter W and Andrew M5, Smuggler's Bounty Patrons, who are waiting in line behind the boobs while they played the video game unfortunately, as soon as they finished,

Beverly spilled an extra large sprite all over the console, and it had to be shut down for maintenance. Shoebbert, the mushroom, Elena C, Mixologist Michael McD, and Balnor's boy, followers of theola who didn't bend the knee because they were super sore from doomed squats the day before. Now, their eyes have been opened and they've joined up with hardwant to spread the word of QUOTE.

Just in eye, Jacob C, Elena M and Dana G, the four generals of a massive army of over a thousand cobalts, they win most of their battles by convincing various heroes that fighting them isn't worth it because it would take way too long and involve far too much math. Daniel R, Destin C, Gybe G, and Irland, Kathleen L, the rulers of the Jellimental Chaos. Daniel R presides over the Jelly Pl planes, Destincy over Jam Valley, Jive G over the desert of preserves, and together, Erlin Kathleen gracefully roll the kingdom of courtials.

Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakurai S. Di Sequani, Michael L. Traile the Kray-Fey and Jor-E-S for Krik Youngins who went into a timeout sack of Holden and never came back. Legend has it there's now an entire village of sack elves living and breeding deep within the sweaty folds of this canvas paradise. Adam H. Ryan, Aaron G. Jake L. and Michael K.M. the astral mom-nots who were shouting, no rough housing from the top of the stairs during the entire fight. Big Buck, Richard X. Mockena, Sam L. and and Troy McC, the pilot and crew of Plainshift, the

only commercial airliner with round trip, travel to and from the Feywild, the Astrokeep, and Hell. They can't seem to open a portal to Shadowfell, though, because all the shells keep using it as a portapoddy. Dumb R, Josh S, Nicholas C. Austin C. and Kristen P. The Teen Zone, a traveling theater group that speaks to groups of green teens about arcane use and the dangers of getting too into beheading your enemies. Mike H. Matthew E. Samuel B. and O'Cotta, four of the thousand cobalts that was already

to fight the band of boobs before freaking Murf pulled the freaking plug. None of dude. Arenc, TJM, the gnome barbarian, trust the traveler, Robert F and Paul and Megan the twins, Hugh Jackman's legal representatives who are considering minor legal action after Hugh got totally upstaged by Cindy and Kathy in this episode. Anime intellect, Zolo Dolo, Nick B and Burley T. The team of stylists that put 81 pieces on Cindy Crawford for her sensual beach photo shoots. She can't do it herself or her claws would rip

the delicate swimsuit material. Colton B, Jay, C.C. Lulu, and Aiden R.H. A group of adventurers stuck in a battle to the death with a parallel universe villain, Murf created called the Astral Dread Paw, which is just a gargantuan paw paw with lobster claws that sends you to a demi time-out sack. Wow.

Timmy R. Aaron Sully, Blitzbreeg Demetri, J. Dragonborn, a crew of teens who waited for a solid hour behind the band of boobs so they could play wrestling your dad. Unfortunately, their parents picked them up long before the boobs finished hogging the machine. Lame. Luke is B, Jordan L, Talith X, Mateo C, and Pupthoth.

The various boss dads that you face in the Wrestle Your Dad challenge mode. They all wear wraparound sunglasses in most of their combo finishers and with running you over with their SUV. Kaylee Elise, Barnesinator, McPucks and Christian A, Balanore's Buds, who had to spend a Friday night cleaning up the man cave after the band of boobs ruined it. They missed the big game and barely got to down any heavies.

Dev and W, Shenoo and B, Jared E, Persephone and Eric McD, competitive wrestler your dad players who have unlocked all of the hidden characters, including the legendary soccer mom who is maxed out in all stats and powered by Shardin A. Reese NS, Eric and Andrea B. J. Parker and Jonathan O, a group of documentarians making Bohumi's version of King of Kong called Latt of Dad, starring Beverly as an up-and-coming wrestler your dad player, trying to wrestle the high score away from famous pro gamer, Jonathan Tinkle. Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Omri M. and Callum L. Acroof friends who were at the arcade with the band of boobs and managed to run a perfect game on giant shredder, losing no lives and doing it all on skis. Wow, Scott D. No Thar, the prodigy ranger,

Mikhanji, Dan, and the Red Rain, a family who spent the afternoon wrestling with their actual dad in the ocean off of Smuggler's Bounty Beach. Their dad tired out after about three minutes, though, and now they're wishing they'd just stayed inside and played video games. Richard C. Karen T. Curtis S. Michael C. N. Nathaniel P. A group of gnome dentists. These Nairdewel doctors often prank their patients by giving them floss that's flavored like duty and toothbrushes that taste like fart.

Disgusting. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Nicholas P. Kevin M. And Angel B. Hard one's gerbils. These scruffy little sweeties died of neglect when hard one left iron deep without asking anyone to look after them? JK, JK, JK, they all nod through their cage and are living happy fulfilling lives in the woods. I mean, nothing more true to one soul than a gerbil in the woods.

That's just nature at its most natural. Raul and I am the atlas. Meribel, the Kitty Morphing gnome. Joe, Mick G and Meta Amps. Rennes, Destitute, Cousins, the family has fully excommunicated these relatives because they only own two private islands. For shame! At a kissy, Amy W. Luke Gage, Kelvin Noodles, and Grace G.

Jaina's crew on the SS Stormborn, incredibly meticulous, hardworking dwarves who sanded, swobbed, and polished the airship, prompting hard one to say you ruined it. Lance, Esmi, M, Gary, Jay, Kazamir, they all know. Spencer, Casquebrue, and Zach C. All cops, younger siblings, a bunch of middle-aged cops, with equally vicious v's. Lance and Gary even started an improv team to follow in Cobb's comedy footsteps. Keep it like, guys. Eric G. Michelle O. Gage M.

And number one, Beverly and Fan. Jen R. Zabi Giants, who got through the Frostwin wall and are now just hanging in the castle hot tubs. The Frostorbs went to finish them off, but they saw how chill the Giants were and said, no, fuck at the man. Oh, so cute. I love that voice.

Thank you guys so much for listening. That's all for this week. We'll be back next week with another episode. And you can head on over to our Patreon.com slash natpot to listen to our short rest. Catch you guys next time. Goodbye, sweethearts. That was a hit down podcast.