Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: A Problem Player Named Flaming Hot Cheeto (w/ Ally Beardsley)

Episode Date: June 23, 2022

Welcome to Dungeon Court! Ally Beardsley joins Justices Murphy, Tanner, Axford, and the lowly Bailiff Hurwitz to pass judgement on your trials at the table. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.CREDITS:Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's the lolly lolly lolly lolly baylor jake and then of course don't want the theme song new Lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo- Judging to talk about tidings a lot, I'm a sentence bit. Yeah, like a Christmas girl. Good tidings to you and your kin. Good tidings to you and your nine years in Cursor. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do you like the reeds that we put up? I love them. Yeah, that's the rest of it. We keep them up year round, the laurels.

We're gonna need you to go ahead and swear in to officially make you part of the Supreme Crit. That's correct. Fail if I forget, do you need to do anything for this, going into it? Yeah, I'll be administering the oath. Okay, I'll be you. Oh, okay.

Allie. Yeah. Hi. Your name, I don't usually do anything, but he called me loley so many times, he's trying to step up. But yes, we'll need you to swear in to ascend the bench. I believe you have the oath before you.

I do, I do. And my hand is, I'm assuming being placed on a Bible. With something you believe in. What would you like to put it on? Oh wow, yeah, on a D20. Yeah, with the 20. Which number? 20 up, okay.

That should be 20 up. That's a price. No, 14. Yeah, I get this one. No, 14. It's all worth it. It's all worth it. Upper Mettling Harbor. Yeah, I get this on a score. It's all a score. It's all a score. It's an upper middleing rubber.

Yeah. It's on the six. Okay. All right. I, Ali, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the players as well as the DMs against all enemies foreign and domestic that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same that I take this obligation of my own volition and that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation of my own volition, and that I will well and faithfully embark upon this noble pursuit

of justice, so help me gods. And- Here he is! Welcome, Al-Judgesle. Judge Piercelaw. Oh, official! Oh, my God. And with that, here you hear, you crit is now in session.

The honorable Supreme Crit justices, Axford Murphy, Tanner, and Beardsley, presiding. Thank you. Now, you'll see that there is a gavvol place in front of you. Feel free to bang it. This is with without caution. There you go.

Wow, just one kind of tepid nod. I would say that was with caution. I think that, I think that- It's justice practices restraint. Yeah, and that shows that you're, I feel like a judge who like really slams on your- Yeah, I'm a power trip. Ego.

Power trip, you know how to control. You're measured. It's a firm hand, but it's fair. Yeah, yeah, firm hand. Your arm is a reindeer. The good tidings, justice. That one was good. Wow, had a little room for the last one.

The power's actually going to your head really quickly. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, it's really good. Okay, Liam writes into us, and Liam says, may it please the court and provide a sure sticker for the bailiff to fiddle around with? I present the case of the neutral paladin versus the comedy steed. I play a no-n neutral paladin vs. the comedy steed.

I play a no-nonsense paladin of neutral alignment. My problem is that whenever I cast the signature paladin spell finds steed, my DM always gives me a goofy giant animal instead of a more traditional, thematic companion. Thus far, the steeds that I've summoned have arrived as a giant snail, a St. Bernard with a New York accent, a moose with a pun name, and most recently a dwarf driving a pedal car similar to Fred Flintstone. I have to say, I'm right off the bat. I am loving your energy because so few people

are willing to occupy this space. Like you are being a straight man right now. Like you're playing the straight man to your dear. It is you really. You really are. Also, I feel like people usually, if you're gonna play a paladin or something or be like no nonsense, you're good.

But just be like, I wanna be neutral. Yeah. But also, I'm no nonsense. I just wanna steed, I want to be neutral. Yeah. But also, I know non-sus- I just want to steed. I would like a horse, please. They continue, despite only wanting a horse, I always played into it for the sake of the game. Yeah, there you go.

I've asked my DM out of character, why my steeds are always so silly, and if I could ever get a more traditional one. He responded that since my character was aligned to a deity that is neither good nor evil, the steed that showed up would be of neutral alignment since the options for steeds in the spell are either celestials, fiends or fey. I was stuck with the whimsical piece of the fey wild.

Okay, I know. Right, you have flinted red flintstones right out of players' handbook. Hey, we're too proud. Yeah. I asked the court, should I have pressed harder for a regular horse or am I resigned to a campaign where my signature spell is a punchline? Hmm.

First, right off the bat. I kind of think that I don't like the reasoning for it, but I feel like you might be very funny and your interactions and not wanting to have these steeds could be very funny and making the group laugh and it's possible that's why this is happening. Yes, right. This sounds like a classic odd couple set up. Yeah, it's making, it's giving me enjoyment.

You want a horse? You get red Flintstone. You're an ex right now. For anyone who remembers, of course the original. Right, yeah. Old are you, Brian? I think 57 years old. I watched that show when I was 21.

I watched that in previews in the 1950s. Who said Burton Ernie, man? My god. Like, you, the odd couple would have come out. I don't know. There's a 60 year old fan in their garbage punching the wheel. I came out, made me suffer. It's called that old one. We look on TikTok, and there's a lot of odd couple fan 60 year old fan in their garbage punching the wheel We look on tiktok and there's a lot of odd couple fan cams for some reason It's back in a big way. I think the odd couple was so popular that now no one remembers the original odd couple

I have no clue what they are. I thought they were just a trope. So the trope is The fairly odd parents. Yeah, I was thinking of her, and I was like, I'm not gonna say this. So, which one can you first? So, which I did, the first, the odd couple. Yeah, I think so too. Felix is of course very put together with,

the Slavon Le Oscar. You think you have Dharma and Greg? Dharma and Greg are an odd couple. Yes, it's true. So, what's the name of it? Is it the Greg, or would be the fairly odd parents? What are the fairly odd parents name? One true. Clutching the greatest. It's Greg would be the fearless. The fearless.

What are the fearless parents name? One day. One day in Cosmo. There you go. Oh yeah. Wands and wings, Foydi Crowny. Although they're not really, they're both Oscars. Yeah, no, they're both good.

I haven't completely lost on this odd couple thing. I brought it up as a trope. I don't know what Oscar or Felix are. Okay. Let's point to the real Felix. Yeah. This is comedy gold is what you've got on your hands. Yeah, it sounds fun.

Yeah, so when you're setting up the, you don't want this to happen, and it just keeps happening, it will be very funny. It's very funny, it just talk to your dam and be like, hey, could we stop having fun, please? Yeah. I also feel like though, now, like if you make sure to communicate to your DM like I want a horse someday

Like and make it clear someday you might get like you might finally summon Just the most serious horse Yeah, the most serious. I'm wondering if this campaign is goofy and this neutral question out of place Or if this DM is just targeting this one player being like you're the one weird thing Yes, well, I really hope that they're in on it a little bit It seems like maybe they're not because they keep asking for a normal horse Although asking for a normal horse is a pretty funny run and gag If you didn't get it's like if someone was like I could I just have a normal horse?

Yeah, you come out of a normal horse? Oh no, it's a SEMPANAAA! Hey, I'm wagging my tail! I know, I know he did this to Caldwell and Ken won. Although I would do it so it was sad. So anytime he summoned a steed, it'd be like, Oh, it was in a different world with my best friend, my owner. And he took me away from it. Now I can't remember his face.

Yeah, because they also always like met their own family. They always had a family. Yeah, they were constantly getting killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something to silly donkey one time and it absolutely got its head chopped off. Yeah. I loved watching all those.

Yeah. I will say the only thing that bumps me about this is that you out of character ask why this keeps happening and I feel like the honest answer is because it's funny because I am playing a funny game and you're being so serious. But then to kind of like rule check and be like no you see it's because of your alignment. It's like no like level with me. It's funny to make the whole table laugh.

The dog with an accent is because of my alive. Like I chose the mic and he says. It's my fault that I got the St. Bernard. Yeah, New Yorkers are celestial. I was just like, no matter what, I'm probably, I'm ruling with this neutral paladin because you did the work of being like, hey, I'm talking to you out of character, why is this happening?

Yes. I'm just saying that there might be a reason that is like not malice behind us. So the neutral paladin was the one that wrote into us, right? Yes. So they clearly listened to the show. They like to cut up and laugh a little bit. So clearly.

So clearly. I think you get a little silly. Oh, yeah. It all depends on the situation because I think you also have the right to be badass. Yeah, but part of D&D is doing cool shit. But as the DM you also have the right to make your PC's weight to be badass. I think maybe you make this like, if this is like important to your character,

then the DM probably can meet you halfway. And either it's like a D8 role and like two of the numbers are not silly or like you, you pray to your God and eventually like find a commune where like you are summoning a not silly creature. Maybe there is like some way to work through this. And it's like as you level up, as you like strengthen your connection or like your faith deepens,

maybe you can summon the mystical long awaited normal horse. But also there's like freaking horses from the Feywild that are just sick horses. Yeah, maybe that's what you do. Because first off, like I said, I'm rolling with the neutral palette and no matter what, I'm just saying that,

like, it might be funny. And that's why they're doing it. Yeah. Here's what you do, has to be a Fey. Great, look up a bunch of Fey creatures. Oh, that's true. Find a couple sick Fey horses. Jiggy, you're computer open right now.

Yeah. Baylor, I'm just wondering if we could rule this on a technicality, because I'm pretty sure that some instead you might get to choose it yourself, right? I don't know if the DM gets to choose it. I don't know if the DM gets to choose it, but regardless, just as beardsly is right. The DM going to the book, but making shit up

already makes them wrong. All right, here's what it is. The Valinar Steed is cool. going to the book, but making shit up already makes them wrong. Okay, here's what it is. The Valinar Steed is cool. They look like stars and it's a horse and they have cool ability. I also think it's cool. Sorry, but what's not cool about Fred Flintstone? Yeah.

His dishwasher was a mastodon. I think that's pretty damn cool. I say, yeah, that is cool. His best friend is small. Yeah think that's pretty damn cool. I see. Yeah, that is cool. Yeah, his best friend is small. Yeah, so that's already cool. Yeah, he's smart. Yeah, he's smart. He's smart.

He's smart. He's smart. He's smart. He's smart. He's smart. He's smart. We're both bigger than David and the Ernie small. David and the Ernie small.

David and the child. And there's a baby. David and the Ernie. David and the Ernie small. David and the Ernie small. David and the Ernie small. David and the Ernie small. David and the Ernie small. David and the Ernie small. Do you have to be a baby? Yeah, I don't forget baby. Baby, what are you talking about? I don't know. Dude, Barney's tiny. Barney's tiny.

Barney's way, Barney's the same. Barney's the same. I have the same. I do not remember Barney's tiny. I mean, I was wearing my minus in the movie. He's the same. I don't remember. I was like, why are you actually you being here?

We're talking about fucking regular ass Barney. I'm not using my computer to look up to the state but I am looking out Barney Flintstone high Barney weighs a book 10 Oh, and he's stout. He's a caveman. He gets he's no nutrition. He's small. He's half the size of He's half the size of friends. He is a lot smaller. I'll admit that he's smaller than Fred But he knows the size of his two feet shorter than Betty look at his family. I'm looking at the rubble Bam, bam. He is too boring. One Barney is too Betty. Did you think Barney was huge?

I thought they were the same size. What was the same size? Okay, so here's a Betty does Betty is bending down to kiss Barney. Yeah, they got bad sign. That's a bad sign for your argument, man. Yeah, okay. What is That's a bad time for your argument man. Yeah, okay. What is How tall is a small guys how tall is the Jetson compared to you guys remember the Crossover George I'm gonna say because you have to say Fred Flintstone. Yeah, six foot one That tall no way Fred Flintstone. He's caveman tall. He's like five eight He's also based on like I we could just look up on Here they are meeting each other They they look to be about the same size when they're meeting really I would say the George's taller just because of

Future is a bit each other There was a Chess that was always checked out from our block Damn we finally got it Absolutely I'm gonna call Hannah Barbarra real quick. Just get an actual answer on the non-linear. I actually do have an answer. Okay. Red Flintstone is five feet six inches tall.

Wow! How tall is Bernie? Bryce is right rules. Wait, no, that means I lose. Yeah, that means you also lose. Fuck. No height listed for George. Jetson, see, this is the future.

We don't know yet. I don't trust this. So anyway, I think that the punishment here is that Barney Rubble is driving her car. Anyway, yeah. He's doing a bad job. So I think we're all, I mean, everybody decide who you're gonna rule for.

I think I'm also for the neutral palette in here. Yeah. I think his DM had a bullshit excuse. Yeah, I think their excuse was bad, but it's possible that in disliking it, you're being funny, and then that is why everyone is enjoying it. The DM could have said that. But that's also not on your shoulders.

But that's also not on your shoulders. It's also not on your shoulders. If you're being funny by not enjoying it, but you're not having fun, then you're also, I'm like, okay, but actually I'm not having fun. So next time actually, you could reverse this by just being like, I'm gonna summon a steed. Yabba dabba do.

And then you go silly when you're summoning the seed. Then the trick it, yeah. Yeah. You know, the game to that game. I almost tried a meta game. Like, I want Barney Rubble to come in and see. Yeah, but Barney do. I'm gonna summon the stream.

And then they're like, what the fuck? And then they're like, you get a normal horse. Yeah. And then you say, thank you. fuck? And then they're like, you get a normal horse. Yeah. And then you say, thank you. I will name him Valonaur. Yeah, I'll say. He does my taxes.

All right, so we're ruling against this DM. What is that cool and unusual punishment that we're gonna defend onto the... I think... Something Flintstones related. It's gotta be Flintstones related. You're never allowed to have a Flintstones vitamin ever again.

Wow. Yeah, it's actually kinda hard to feel. Anytime you eat ice cream, You're never allowed to have a Flintstones vitamin ever again. Wow. Wow. That's actually kind of hard to see. Anytime you eat ice cream, you have to have a Flintstones vitamins as topping. Oh, that's a great place. It's a place with Flintstones vitamins. So you're just going to have like 10,000% your daily value of vitamin C.

And so let's have a nice one. And like, yeah. You're going to be neon from neon. You're gonna be neon from fortified. Simba's from fortified. And your molders are gonna be cake. You will not be able to click black, you're cake. Yeah, there's not a click black. You will curse the name.

You will curse the name of Barney Roller. And when you open up the pack, they'll all be yellow and orange. Oh no. Not a single more of a deal. All five. Yeah Yeah I'm exactly. Oh, Pamela, go ahead and look up. How tall is Jackie Gleason? There you go. What is with the references to that? Oh my god. I told you I was 58 years old. We are in a Twilight Zone. I've got the height if you care to yes. Oh This is this is what Fred Flintstones true hide it

One he's five ten fuck Wow, okay, um and art carny who I imagine is Yeah, well, but they've got completely different builds the exact same goddamn height Oh, you said I bite the bailiff. I'm freeing up the class and nothing of Barney. Justice says if we fight amongst ourselves, the bailiff wins. It's us first, first the bailiff. That's how every courtroom runs. First is the bailiff and everyone versus the stenographer.

All right. Can I do this? This is such a quick aside, but my mom was studying to be a stenographer. And yeah, yeah, there's like a whole court reporting school and you like hit four buttons at the same time. It means a word. And so she named, she got a new cat while we were away.

And we came back and she was like, this is plar. And that was like the, um, the abbreviation for something else. I don't know. Some something car. I don't know. But then we started calling the cat plurr. And then my mom absorbed that now she got his name plurr. And she doesn't know that that's like from rave culture.

Wait, I don't know. I don't know. It's a piece of unity respect. from rave culture. Yes, great. I don't know. I don't know what you're saying. Peace, love, unity, respect. Yeah. That is what cats are all about. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm all about, really.

I love really, if your mom's cat gets loose, then she's just going to be wandering the nips. Yes. I'm looking for a plur. Oh, we are obsessed with that. I'm like, come with me, lady. Yeah, yeah. She's like, plurr.

Yeah. It's like getting dark. It's dawn. Yeah, yeah, she's like, plur, plur. It's like getting dark, it's dawn. What's also known as the cat says plur instead of pur. Yeah, exactly. She's like, are you plurring? You normally cat will just very clearly say pur when it's actually right here. Yeah, I love cat.

They look at you in a human, deep human voice saying pur. Purr, purr. Purr, like purr. Yeah, it weirded me out when your cats did that the first time, but now I kind of love it. say, per. Per. Per. Per. Per. Yeah, it weirded me out when your cast did that the first time, but now I kind of love it. Yeah, yeah. It is nice. It's a nice and resonant.

Good healing vibration. Alright, Dan. Yes, of course. So ordered. Our next case comes from Abby. Abby writes, may it please the court to the most excellent and honorable justices of the Supreme Crit and also the bailiff who is fine I guess.

Can you please help solve an argument? My sister and DM and I have been having for several months. We were fighting a frost giant who had been using legendary actions throughout the fight. My sister dealt the killing blow because she got in that 20 and used her last divine smite. As the DM was narrating how the giant was dying, he had the giant take out a hunting horn and blow into it, calling the bigger daddy frost giant.

We then had to run away because we were pretty low on health and spells as a group, and it kind of changed the trajectory of the story. My sister and I argued that giant was already dead and couldn't use his legendary action to do that. So the bigger giant should never have come where we're wrong to argue so heatedly with the DM about it or was he wrong to have his very dead giant pull out a horn to call his dad to the fight. To me, I once again this is a thing that happens every once in a while where you can smell the DM sweating where they're supposed to set up the big bad Merb you are a DM what is DM sweat smell like? Oh, it smells like

Let me spray oh Fragrant ax body spray and deep deep musk even if you're not wearing ax body spray right Ax body spray comes from Axe body spray comes from the FDM. They milked DMS. Oh no! They milked DMS. Oh I love DMS! Although, the commercials make sense now.

Yeah. I know, no, this very much feels to me like this person wanted to set up the cinematic thing. Yeah. But then they fucked up and they tried to do something in the mechanics without doing it correctly. What they should have done is had on what are their turns, is like their objects interaction or whatever,

have them do it, have the big bad in the distance, have it close in as the fight finishes or whatever, and that all feels copacetic. The DM made a huge mistake, which is to try to do things, try to explain things in mechanics when what they're really doing is doing a cutscene that always doesn't work out. Yeah. I do a cutscene do a cutscene. Really unsatisfying on the heels of like a nat 20 Cricks that like they're killing blow you have one smite left, you know like the whole table is so excited So it's such a bummer to be like yeah, and then they call 911

And then the day the first time calls is dead. And then the big, the fast tire calls his dad. Yeah. And he shows it to fucking call his dad. The big dad kills you all. Yeah. Big dad's there. I feel like I am kind of bewitched by the Murphy Musk right now and I'm kind of willing to rule. That just seems pretty cut and dry to me. Yeah, me too. How about they have to eat, we'll give them the same, the same I'm ruling against the DM or ruling for it. Against the DM. Against the DM, yeah. Let me point out one little thing.

They say, were we right to argue so heatedly with the DM? Oh. So I'm picturing multiple people kind of yelling at the DM, which I think is not ever okay. Yeah, that's true. I believe that was a small transgression. Interesting.

I agree. But is this friend court? This is a lightning court here. Do you know what though? I didn't speak. You're right. Are you so heated, Leanne? It's like, yeah, the DM kind of pulled a move that made things a little less fun.

Yes. But maybe that's things a little less fun. Yes. But maybe that's not worth a heated argument. Yeah. But that's just worth you privately being like, I bet they probably fucking regret that move. I think people, I think different parties and different tables have a different Scoville index for the heat with which they are arguing. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

That is how hot pets are. On a pet's heart. On a pet's heart. Yeah. The hot sauce will give you like the scoval rate. There's also different people described heated news as different things. Like, people could say that the B&J's Barney argument was heated. Right.

It was only heated because you were like punch, you gave me a Charlie horse. Yeah. We cut it out, but yeah, we made Jay Bernie small We made Jake change into a Barney tuna I think the thing is like with this DM is if they really wanted this big bad to show up They could have done it in a way that would have been satisfying like you kill them and then like the stuff start shaking And the dad was in route anyway. Yeah, why?

I mean, like, he just connected it in an unsatisfying way. So it's not a part of no sin. Like, they still had the power to bring that in. So yeah, I guess that part is interesting. But I do, I do. We argue so heated. Yeah. I think though the players, especially with like a crit

and stuff and the fact that the, yeah, didn't tease it at all, it just came with the horn was kind of... Actually, but Justice Murphy, that is a very good point, because I feel like the killing blow on a crit actually does merit a more heated argument. Yeah, yeah. Because it was a bigger moment though, it was so. I'm going to choose to read this generously and say that they were probably joking around or like it was like heated the way friends get heated. Oh, the months is flowing.

They also said that they've been arguing about this for months. So I don't know if it's like the, oh, all right. Okay, I think that, so since Murph started talking about DM sweat, I think I'm feeling, yeah, yeah, well the Sweat turns into the mail.

The Sweat is real. We're starting calling it a mail. But I think I'm feeling, I feel like it's possible that this DM could be like, why the fuck did I do that? I don't know, but then they would have been argumented back down. I'm gonna go ahead and abstain.

Yes. Whoa, that's real. That's real. I was there you. Can I just say, I wish that I had called you guys ahead of time and said, can each of these people submit their astrological signs? I'm everyone involved?

Because I would like to know that. That's not even the guess. I would absolutely love to know what's involved. Do you want to make a guess? I would love to make a guess. I'm just wanting to know, just hearing the part where it's like for months we've been arguing about this, this sounds like a very rule abiding Capricorn person

who's playing the game and they're like, this DM cheated and this DM cheated me and I feel wrong to buy it and I'm curious about that. Oh, what about what about the DM? Like what about someone kind of being like, oh fuck, they fucked me. The DM could be anyone. I think the DM could be in it.

Cause you just like, you had the cool thing that you wanted to like, like, Murphy were like, you should have teased it earlier. Like, yeah, that's the pro move. Like, you could have just like blown on the horn and we don't know what it meant. And then it turns later, we find out, you know. Here's a question for you as a DM.

When do you admit that you made a musk fuss? When do you admit that you kind of made a little mistake? I feel like on the show we do that where we literally just pause and I'll just be like, wait, I don't want to do that. Hang on. Just take a second to think. I was fussy because I was musky. Yeah.

That's what you say. You finally say that without explanation, I think we've got our punishment if depending on how the vote goes. Wow. You finally say that without explanation, I think we've got our punishment. If depending on how the vote goes, so Emily has abstained, just as much as I've abstained. I know, until I know astrological signs, I must abstain.

And say new president. I'm gonna submit your stars. I'm gonna rule with the players here. I hope. I hope that your arguments were just fun rassy back and forth. Yes. Please don't yell at each other. Yeah. But I do think that you were wrong, here. I think that legendary action horn was bullshit. I think that DM could have

done the same thing or teased the same thing or even given you a moment to rest between the two fights because yeah, this crit and because you killed this dude before you got the horn out. So rule with you is that where everybody like you're ruling with the players yes I rule with the players as well okay so I let the Musk flow this DM is going to need to start talking about Musk at the table a lot yeah I mean I think that there should be more sent-based stuff in D&D's. Oh, wait, but yeah. I feel like as a DM. That should be the punishment. As a DM, they have to start describing the scent

of every NPC. There is an axe body spray called Peace. That's the flavor. And they have to eat it whenever they admit they're wrong. They have to coat themselves head to peace. In peace. I want the plurr. Uh, for sure.

Oh my God. Peace love, you need to be a nurse. That is an ad for different exes that you've got to get an ad for. You need to campaign. You need to start an online campaign for ex body spray to get. Can I? Yesterday. I want to pitch y'all what like the vocal tag for the plurr commercial should be.

Incredible. Axe plur commercial should be incredible acts Honestly my last name am like axler Yeah, I know the years Vogue's what it's like nine people fucking in an elevator and that's the whole commercial It's a punishment for a fucking blessing. But no one can come because there aren't too many drugs Commercial showing everything Wow, this commercial we're really by following along at all the beats They're really winding up and saying that they can't finish Oh, all of them are saying talking about the They're trying winding up and saying that they can't finish. Oh, wait, all of them are saying, talking about their names. They're trying to work together so much.

But it's the Empire State Building and they're showing every floor. Oh my god. Why? Oh, he's so ordered. So you have to invent X-plurr and then spray it all over your body. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, honestly, it doesn't even sound like a punishment anymore. Yeah. I've put a tag book. Playback tag. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I you know, honestly doesn't even sound like a punishment anymore

Yeah, cuz I'm thinking cuz I fucking thought that we came up with poor here That's a billion dollar business idea And we're outsourcing it we're left But why don't we ask for will be our thing yeah, yeah tag The axler will be our thing. Yeah, and tag. Lure. Oh, there. So they don't get peace. It's just lure.

Yeah, it's just lure. It's just love unity respect. Which is nothing without peace. Yeah. And they get no peace because no peace comes. What is love without peace? What is love without peace? It's not kind of, yeah.

Okay. You guys know the, I'll show you after this. There's a whole piece of unity respect handshake where you give someone leave. I'm so excited to learn. Can I see it? of Unity respect, handshake, or you give someone a link. I'm so excited to learn. Can I see it? No, I'm going to see it right now. Perfect.

Imagine that my arm is lined with a bracelet. Yeah, yeah. OK, we go piece and we touch. Those are two piece and you're touching it the ear. It's making a heart. And then we do the heart sign. And then we do the respect. And then by move one eye.

One of your bracelets onto your hand. So it by one. I brace let's onto your hands. So I just assumed that you had your multiple wrists. And that's what you came to the rave to give. And it's like a bartering system. Yeah, I was gonna say this is like very funny man. You're like barely standing up and you're like, no. And then just exchanging brace and you just get a bracelet

shimmyed onto your tiny little arm. Yeah. Cause you're 13. Okay, look, I'll speak for myself. Right, yeah. And this is a Christian rave. And then you little arm because you're 13. I look awesome for myself. Right, yeah. And this is a Christian wave. And then you look down and you're like, damn, this one has really cool stuff on it.

And you're like, it was great to meet you, Bob. I do not all glow in the dark bracelets. It's like other bracelets. No, no, it's like beat. They're handmade at home. Yeah, are there lettered beats? Would one say like cuties? Yeah, exactly.

Great, gotcha. Cuties or laudies, they say. Believe in Christ. They say believe in Christ. Yeah, save that one. That's that's for us. Oh The person who is that we've generated to the plurr handshake with and then see the bracelet says believe in Christ that person is a fucking NARC And then they then they pull it over to your arm, but then they take out handcuffs. Yes. That's what they call me. Right. Come with me.

You're only 13 years around. Yeah. So young to be in the elevator at the. No. You can't be in this commercial. Yeah. Okay, so order whatever wherever we landed. The next case comes from Tromore T

They write may it please the court honorable justices and the one who finds the cases that's me wow One who finds the cases wow that actually makes you sound a little epic. It doesn't actually yeah, so thank you No, none of that Just respect us here to I was just a suspect as pure disassigned. Case finder, what have you brought us? Case finder. You like those vultures from the darkness, and like an NPC you pass in the Witcher? Are you a case finder?

Are you a case finder? Case finder over here. OK, it's a case finder. Oh, stay away from him, child. Is it true? Would they say about case finders? There's drowners in the lake. I am playing in a game where another party member is a cancoo who talks exclusively in

mimicry. That's what echoes do. And takes us to the extreme of refusing to impart information to the rest of the PCs because his character quote wouldn't have heard enough of the words before. For example, there was an important encounter he had on his own with a necromancer who had skeletal cats, which I know my NPC wants to investigate. But every time I ask questions in game, the only response is that his cancou makes a cat noise. Is this deep role playing fair or has it gone too far? My character has a prophecy that I think might relate to the necromancer, but I can't come up with an in-game

reason to extrapolate a cat noise to the actual facts. I humbly await your justice. I feel like there's like you know how like you hear stories about how awful Jared Leto is on set. Yeah, or the actual succession. Yeah, I feel like there are D&D players who are method and I don't understand. I'm curious about that person's experience of it where you're like, how do you not feel how ground to a hall? Right, everything is. It's fun for you.

It's fun. Yeah, kind of Austin and. Yeah. It's weird because it's like, you're not the one giving the puzzles. That's the DM's job. It really is. It is let O S.

Yeah, I think like we've said this before, but it's just like, I mean, if for you playing, this is playing a character and it's your performance art, just make sure that you're on the same page as the rest of you. Yeah. I think unless, so Kanko's, it does say like in the book, if you're going by the book, that they do talk in mimicry. My understanding of that is that there's almost like

an interesting thing with their voice, where like they speak in like different voices almost, but they know most words, like they've heard the work. You know who else speaks in mimicry for the first three years of their life? Human beings. Like that's how you learn to talk that's true whenever that means that they would have access to full Sentences that they heard and they would just be doing it. Yeah, that's interesting Yeah, not knowing I mean first off your an adventurer and a D&D campaign

You know what a fucking skeleton is right you also have a skeleton. Yeah, like you probably have to talk about bones Yeah, it's a D&D campaign you probably have to talk about bones at some point. It's a deal you can't be and you're gonna talk about Boom, you're gonna talk about freaking bones. Yeah, baby. What do you do campaign? We don't talk about bones? Show me the campaign. Well yelling at me again. That's like seeing a tall party Hey, friend, I'm so short The loosive thing that you'll never get I'm just for my tall Barney You know what her words just think enough? He was watching that Flintstones baby show Where are all the same size?

You're watching Flintstones kids Where are you? Yeah, but you have a doing with your life You're out there chasing tall barnies! Climbing the real world! We're talking about the gang. We're talking about this Jared Little Cancou. Okay, wait, wait, okay. Beardsley, what do you think the astrological side of the person playing the cancou is?

Oh, Aquarius. I love it. No doubt about it. Do Aquarius really So you're really eating the love. I love it. No doubt about it. No doubt about it. Do Aquarius is really like chew the scenery? No, they're just absolute like ghosts on earth. They're not. They have the star justice here.

I love it. Oh, did I not mention that? Oh, this is the star. This is the star. This is the star. We should only be trying lead-ocases actually. Yeah, we should. It's really, it's unfortunate that Morbius has become such a meme

because I know Morbius jokes. I've had them on the table. Because I really want to talk about Morbius right now, but we're not. This is not a bad thing. We're talking about that. Do you think cases in Flintstones? That's it.

That's it. I mean, let-o, let-o is one of the cutting-edge baby. Yeah, but, have a dinosaur that they feel like. We actually don't want to talk about things that you know. We're not talking about the fucking odd couple? You know let us gonna do a Flintstones reboot Who's the friend in that situation though Yeah, let it come. Let it come. Let it come. And unfortunately, let it come. And it's live.

Wow. They'd have to like hobbit style. The grand. The bamboo shoot party from far away. Look, here's the thing is that like, we laugh at it, but also like, I would love to advertise X-plur in the all-in-one Flintstones.

Right, it was to be an streaming service. Yeah, yeah. Straight to a freaking paramount plot. Straight to streaming. But also, we would have to be a Flintstones. Straight to Hulu Live, little clumps, the Flintstones. Oh, my God. Let a clumps, the Flintstones.

By the way, Fierce Lake's clump means you can play the clumps from the Nadi professors. Yeah, yeah.ump means you can play it's like the clumps right from the Nadi professors. Yeah, yeah. So if you can, this is not going to, it's like if you can clump. We talk about different actors that can clump. That we can do. Oh, this is a great game.

I love this. Yeah, so leto can, leto can clump. Leto can clomp. Unfortunately, yes, yes. We have to admit that leto can clump. People who don't like League, yes. We have to. Yes, and now we would watch it.

And we would watch him. Leto clump the flint Yeah, hot off that morgue is heat. He's clump in the flint Should we do we do we need to sentence yeah, oh, yeah, oh this can't who we're against this let oh Maybe they have to they have to run sound for or the Leto Clump, the Leto Clump for Injou. Oh, my fucking god, yes. Okay, so ordered. Yeah, our next case comes from Nikki DG.

They write to the venerable crit justices and the supple bailiff Jake. Oh, okay. I mean, yeah, wearing that that Barney tunic, I can really see your nice shoulders and traps. And you just like that without knowing that that's what you're going to call. It's also crazy that you're like wearing an animal hide but also a tie. Yeah, yeah.

And I did run through a car's floor to get here. It's weird that Hertz had that at the airport. Yeah, you have to pay extra. I'm just crazy because the Flintstones kids don't drive the cars. Well, they're kids that don't have license that's what I'm saying You only watch when some people up Tanner. I'm sorry Or the dreaded stenographer Yes

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That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code pop-up for a free yeti style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. I bring you the case of the Dwarven Bard M Mendic strongwood of clan Okan Shaft Great. I DM for Mendic his role play is decent. Okay First start over please that's not even what they have a problem with his Roar justice please are ruling his roleplay is decent but the only problem it doesn't sound like it's the only problem but the only problem is he is absolutely

terrible in combat he insists on using a blunderbust to fight and after multiple sessions of him not hitting a single thing I gave him proficiency with the weapon to help this helped only slightly so I asked if you would be interested in reclassing Mendeck as a gunslinger so we could be more effective in combat that's when he told me that he reclassing Mendeck as a gunslinger so he could be more effective in combat. That's when he told me that he actually likes that Mendeck is a terrible fighter, because the character's personality is that he's craven and driven only by wanting easy treasure by riding on others' coattails. So far, he is survived by the skin of his teeth on several occasions.

In one fight, he went invisible immediately, showed himself to try to shoot a giant spider, missed, and then went into hiding again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I kind of like I mean, it's kind of tough. It's tough to play with someone who's like, I'm role-playing, I scared all the time because you're kind of like, please grow from that eventually. Yeah. So that because for the sake of the party, the challenge rating assumes that everyone's willing to be able to. But I think the DM knows Mendeck is trash. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, wait, I need to know. What do you think Star, Star Charters? Wow, I have no idea. I have no idea. Really? I have no idea.

What do you think? Any thoughts? I don't know enough about astrology to guess. I don't know. But because they just sound like they're trying to play and like make a well-rounded character. I guess I just know it's annoying to interact with though. Yeah, yeah. Because you're like, you're so bad.

I do think I kind of like it though. Yeah, I like that. This whole trade-off just makes Mendeskin OK role player. Because he's not even like Mendeskin. Mendeskin's like blowing everyone away, being like Mendeskin's commitment to character. Yeah, wow. It's leto-esque.

Right. Yeah, the fact that leto- It's part-ish. Mendeskin's role play is only OK. It's all innocent. Well, I mean that let us find out. Yeah, it's full play is only okay. It's not, it's not. Well, I mean, I don't know. I think it's like an easy place to go with role play where you're like, I'm Craven and selfish.

And it's just like, okay, so like, how are you gonna elevate that? It's like really easy to be like, I run away and I try and steal. But like, I can see that like, if they're not bringing any more dimension to that, then it gets annoying. They're like the party's heel, which, yeah.

It's fun to like, if you're're like the party's heel, which is fun to like if you're watching from the outside, but within yeah, I'm actually a couple sessions. It can be fun. I just feel like at this DM, an option would be to be like find something that Mendeke cares about. Like be on the treasure, but be on the treasure. Try and like find out what they care about.

And try and give them an opportunity to grow a little bit, like, dangle a reason for them to need to be a little braver. And it sounds like they're very interested in the sort of roleplay aspect, especially in combat. So maybe that will elevate them. That's, you have to appeal to Mendix, like, sense of character. And, you know, you know, you know, and I mean, don't, like, stay up late you know. Yeah. And I mean, don't like stay up late doing it.

Right. You know what I mean? Just like, not think about that. Give this like one quick try and give the, give the person an opportunity to play. Yeah, yeah. But don't like, you don't have to like, hold their hand, brush it if you're back.

Also, it sounds like you're trying to kill them and eventually you'll succeed. It is such good advice for so many D&D situations, which is like try to do this, but don't stay up. Think about it just for a quick cup of coffee. This is a cup of coffee and noodle. This is a cup of coffee speed right? Yeah, absolutely.

And try it out. Yeah, this is your lunch break friend. You don't have to work too hard on this. Here's what I will say. I will say that I think I would be against Mendeck if this were described differently. If it was like the party is getting annoyed, we almost die, all the,

because we've had cases like this where it's like somebody's playing a character that just wants gold and just pushes everyone and runs away and he's annoying his hell and all the time. I'm hearing anything like all the time. It's annoyed. So I think if other players think Mendek's harmless or he's just being funny or something,

I don't know. Yeah. I think you can kinda play it from all angles here. You can let Mendek be Mendek, but you can also try to end Mendek. Yeah, I think let Mendek be Mendek and kill Mendek. Yeah, if you just don't let Mendeck be Mendeck, but don't pull any punches.

Yeah, but I also think don't target Mendeck, don't try to make Mendeck be anything but Mendeck. Right, yeah, and just keep on doing you. And if Mendeck does, like Mendeck seems likely to do. Mendeck, apparently, is getting by by the skin of his teeth. You know, as a good thing is like thinking about like, all this time that you're trying to help Mendic get better, there's probably PCs that like maybe you could do more with

because they might be more receptive. Yeah, right. That's true. That's hard. Yeah. Yeah. I think like, there's a lot of items and traps in D&D that Mendic would easily fall for.

Oh yeah. Just put a mimic on it. Yeah, present a mimic, a treasure chest that's actually a monster. My DISTUCH kind of situable. It's the thing where you turn to turntable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the greed, you know, there's so much to fall from. I also think it's very possible from this description

since we didn't hear that the rest of the party is having a hard time with it It's possible that you're trying to help Mendik and Mendik doesn't want to be helped and like maybe you just keep cruising asses. Yeah, but Mendik be Mendik Yeah, I think it's fine It's fine to play like an unoptimized character and it's even fine to play a character That's like I want them to be kind of shitty at combat. The thing that makes them a little bit that guy is the like Playing the dude who just wants to go and instill the treasure Right, yeah

The going invisible the kind of like cop out before and after and you sort of like grab that cash Yeah, but I'm gonna say that I'm going to and you know this is a this is a court So this is how it works. I think I'm gonna lightly side with Mendeck But um if other people side against him Might change my mind a soft side. This is a song. I'm gonna go ahead and soft side I also have a soft side with Mendeck just because of the way that it was presented in this way of this fucking idiot is only okay at role play. Yeah, that's the most kind of harsh.

Yeah, I think I will soft side with Mendeck but more with a sympathetic gaze to the DM. Yeah, I mean, I get what this is frustrating. Yeah, I'm sorry. I feel for the DM. Yeah. I feel for the DM. Yeah, I feel for the DM. Is it okay to like punish them both a little bit like community service style, like make them like pick up cans together?

Can we side with Mendeck, but give Mendeck a little light punishment? Is that what I'm saying? I think we would have to punish the person who loses, but their punishment could affect Mendeck. This could be their meek cute by the way, is if we punish them together, and then they're like picking up cans on the side of the road or like, oh, no, but they don't really know each other.

I love a meatcute with a friend I've known for five years. Where you bump into each other, papers go everywhere. And you're like, you look like a senior from this angle. You're teaching each other how to dance. Right. We make them wear real sexy cutoffs while they're doing it. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So like, Baylif Jake, you mentioned liking Mendeck.

Yeah. I think that's an interesting character choice to start somebody as an opportunistic coward and have them grow to be, yeah. Yes, I agree with that. You can do that. You can do that. I agree with that I agree with that but just be a Hugo style situation I think that I think that I can't tell from this question how long it's been going on

right because I agree that it's a fun place to start yeah but if this is 15 sessions in and there's been no growth yeah that then like and there's and there's been opportunities for growth and they've been turned down that could start to get pretty fresh. But on some level, I almost think nothing, there hasn't been any transgression. Nothing wrong has really happened. Like, Mendeck is playing in a way

that's gonna get Mendeck killed and you kind of floated that warning and Mendeck didn't want to change. So we just carry on. Let's side with Mendeck. Is everyone agree with that? Soft side. We're all friends of Mendeck. Does everyone agree with that? Soft side. We're all friends of Mendeck.

Yeah, we're so soft. Okay, we side with Mendeck. Your punishment as a DM is to kill Mendeck. Oh. Oh, that is a good call because the thing that's probably frustrating you is that Mendeck is putting the party in harm's way, right, by not playing better. Totally. So just make it Mendeck's life, right, by not playing better.

So just make it Mendes, Mendes life is the one that's that state. Or you could also make it seem like the party is going to die unless Mendes steps up and does something. There it is. That's what I was saying. If you could put Mendes in a situation where they have to grow. Yeah. But you could. But again, only dedicated. I believe in Mendes.

Whoa. Mendes will be's all Barney Mr. Rubble rise Oh What's the opposite of a meat cute cute meat, okay, I thought it'd be like a danger meat or something like that. Be it meat ugly? Dangerous situation. Ugly avoid?

Yeah. I think you need an ugly avoid. An ugly avoid. You guys need to stop hanging out. I got to go message. Just go message. Yeah, traps. Okay.

Put a trap in the treasure. We got it. Or in danger, Mendeck, right? That might be a more better place. In danger, everyone's bloodmending. I issue the dissenting opinion of the punishment, but that's fine, we'll move on. You love Mendig.

I have a Mendig Stan. Yeah. And our next case, actually, it's kind of like the opposite of a Mendig situation. Really? Nick T. writes, may it please the court the unimpeachable Supreme Crit Justices and the dubious at best Baylif?

Wow. Wow. You know what? I've just had to flip. I'm on Jake's side here. Whoa. That was condescending. Yeah.

I actually thought it was good because dubious at best sounds like it could be like an emo album. Yeah. Definitely a fallout for a style. Absolutely. All right. I'm dubious at best. I'm dubious at best.

I'm dubious at best. I'm dubious at best. I'm dubious at best. I'm dubious at best. I'm dubious at best. I Biz, at best. You failed the test. That's to me 14 years old in an art room being like, this is all music will ever be. And you were right. We've peaked how embarrassing it must be to ever in classical music when we only like it's finally getting me Nick T continues I have been running a 5v campaign with a group of new players all of whom are close friends of 15 years

It is my first time DMing and I put in a ton of effort to create a new world and populate it with fun quests and interesting and And it with fun quests and interesting and this is how it works. It's gonna be a fucking thing. It's gonna be like, my shitty friends of 15 years disrespected. This is gonna be too heartbreaking. Yeah, it's the other end of this story.

Stop reading the Jake. This person is a cancer. I agree with that. I actually know enough to agree with that. It hopes that being less focused on the mechanical nature of the game and more on the fun roleplay aspects The players have been on board and dialed in but our rogue aptly named flaming hot Cheeto

No, has been taking it to the end of his at least his name and then yeah As I take it too far he has decided that his characters alignment is chaotic evil And as a result has been actively working against the party's best interest. That's not a good thing. No, no. That's not a good thing. No, no. You see below Mendes.

Excluding Mendes. Killing several NPCs and stealing from other party members. Several members of the party approached me outside of the game to talk about how they wanted to kill his character. And I decided to confront Flaming Hot Cheeto in an upcoming battle with a bone devil flaming hot Cheeto fell in battle the party made no effort to Get that's awesome and ultimately his character died the player was furious Climbed a gaming Oh my god, I'm claims metagaming Just rupting my immersion of the I didn't have known that I was working against you. My name is Flaming Hatchee. I'm sure it's spelled stupid, but like, God damn it,

don't do that. He claimed to mind the game and collusion. Oh, okay. Here's my read on this. Here's my read on this. They said they were friends for 15 years. I guarantee you most of those were like when they were in school and just didn't have

another choice of friends. Yeah. Where you kind of have friends. Everyone was on the same sock routine. Yeah. Exactly. Wow. We just lived next door to each other.

Yeah. Yeah. The most amazing part is this person's awareness that everyone was colluding against them. Yeah. Without the self-awareness to do an inventory and be like, did I do something wrong? Yeah.

We're landing hot Cheeto. Yes. Being naming yourself landing hot cheeto. Being a chaotic, not even chaotic neutral. Chaotic evil rogue. Then when you die, treating it like it's an actual crime and talking like a lawyer, saying birds like collusion. This is, this is an insane person.

Oh my God. Collusion. You can't blame Medicaid, man. This is the first. When your name is, I'm not. This is a kangaroo court. Yeah.

Oh, good morning. Sounds like the soul story. Is there anything more to this? It's just am I right for it? Yeah, it was actually, was I wrong to give into the desires of the party or did flaming how do you know?

You're correct. You're correct. I was saying there's so like if it's the desires of the party Plural people to get rid of one of the party. It's because one of them is making it less fun for the group. Yeah Yeah, yeah, astral justice. Mm-hmm. What is your read on flaming hot Cheeto? Oh my god Gemini What is your read on flaming hot Cheeto? Oh my god, Gemini. I know. I know. I know. But could be anything.

This reminds me a lot, and I don't know if you guys have had this experience, but when you're in an improv class with a stand-up comedian. Oh. So they're so used to like being the one and only like solo, and they just like tank scenes by like making big jokes or trying to be like, you know what I mean? And you're like, oh, you don't have the collaborative like connective tissue. So best case scenario, Flaming Hot Cheeto

just needs to know the cost of that. That the whole table won't really like them. The fact that this happened and Flaming Hot Cheeto immediately jumped to collusion. You've all worked against it. Make me think that flaming hot chido is iridima. I have to. Oh, I hesitate to say that, but in what world do you grow from that face?

I think start a different text thread. This is classic D&D court ruling, which is it got to stop being friends with this person. Oh, yeah. We haven't had to pull this out in a while. Yeah, we didn't get any of your friends. You don't necessarily, because hypothetically, couldn't someone be really, a really fun friend, but not a fun person to play D&D.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but they would be different, but it would be in a way that, like, this is unrelatable to me, to be like, flaming hot Cheeto is one person. Person who says claims meta gaming and gets super upset is different kind of person. When you bring them both together,

I don't wanna go to Buffalo Wild Wings with that guy. It's true. This has to be go- I'm gonna say five other areas. I also think that like in the same way that like when you play D&D with friends, it makes you closer because you guys work together. Like you're working, you're building,

you're really lying on each other. You're like epic things together. So this almost seems like the opposite that this would fundamentally change my idea so much to be like, this is how you, this, I went into a magical fantasy realm and you treated me like this. So imagine, so let me

give you guys an example of what Flaming Hot Cheeto did here. We had the holiday special with you go right. You go a mere Blooming Felt came on the podcast for a one shot and got everyone killed by insurance. I'm killing the ball. But it was very, very, very funny. It was very funny. We pretty much kind of thought it might have. So we knew it was going to happen going into it. However, very funny. It was very funny. We pretty much kind of thought it might happen. Yeah. So we knew it was going to happen going into it. However, imagine if, so during the fight, you go afterwards, he has me afterwards.

Does that happen a lot? It's like, no, I'm never fucking experienced. Okay, can you imagine? Imagine if we had this happen, if you go betrayed the party, and then when you guys fought back to you go killed you go if a mere was like Yeah, like a fight with us wouldn't you wouldn't you have to just cancel if I were you We take a break how are we gonna talk?

Yeah, we're actually mad at me man. Yeah, you were furious. I live in abject fear of finishing a session and someone being like, hey man, you were a little too much back then. Yeah, this person is just like, instantly just screaming collusion? No. Yes.

The collusion accusation is so funny. It's wild to me. The way the person pre-loaded this whole thing really got us though. I know. Because I was just kind of like, that's all we're all trying. I know. Especially when you were like, such a cancer,

because I love cancer. So I was just like, you're so right. Yeah, I love this. The sensitivity. Oh my god. I know. You know what? I think it's a perfect punishment here?

Oh. I say, okay, so we're all rolling against flaming hot tea. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, of course. Sure. I think this will settle both the most recent cases. I think Mendeck leaves the old campaign and replaces him.

Wow. Oh my God. This DM would appreciate Mendeck. Yes, Mendeck. Mendeck's a step off. Mendeck's a step up. Yeah. Mendeck is a deep plus. A a step up. Mendic's a step up. Yeah, Mendic is a deep plus. A step up.

Mendic's a deep plus. Definitely a couple of steps up. Yeah. I think Mendic could work someday. Mendic has some long game. Yeah, like you know. Deep plus could be a B minus and flaming out Cheetos just enough. Flaming out Cheetos just goes back to bar backing.

There is no tall Barney, but there might be a long Mendic. She does just an half. We've been having a cheeto just goes to far back. I'm flinging out. A far back. There is no tall Barney, but there might be a long mendic. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. There's a long mendic. Ken Clump. And Nick and Clump.

Nick and Clump. Wow. I'm so curious who else you guys think can clump. But I want to start it. I think you started with Brad Pitt. We're trying to clump. We're trying to figure out if Ken Clump and I think could clump with it. First Pratt could clump but I wanted to start it with Brad Pitt. We're trying to pick clump. We're trying to pick clump. And I think pick clump.

First Pratt could clump. Yeah, Pratt could not. Pratt could not. I know we said Pratt could clump. No, no, no. But pick and clump, because 12 monkeys, that's great, Pett. Oh my God, yes. So good.

The new Pit movie looks great on the Speed Tram in Tokyo. Have a scene. Oh, I saw Poster for it and I was like, that looks cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a poster. It's like cool bucket at Brad Pitt. I'm in. Oh, Brad,'s August. I saw a poster for it, and I was like, that looks cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like cool bucket hat brand, Pidum in. Oh, Brad and I, it's face. I'll watch that.

With a weird hat, that's cool. And it's from Atlanta. It's Brian Tyree Henry. There it is. Oh. All right, so ordered. And I suppose we'll close out the session with a dice-christ confessional.

Just, seriously, this is where we... Yeah, there's no separation of church and state. Yeah. So somebody gives a confession and then we absolve them of their sins through this Christy incredible. It's just cleaner that way. We don't have to go to a different building.

Yeah. These robes are reversible. There's a priest collar on the other side. Ah. And this confessional comes from C Conor H. They write, my humble opulent justices and also Tucker's girlfriend's room. That's my wife's side piece who became her main thing. And then I have a red. We have deep lower.

Yeah, deep lower. You read the novel that we sent you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I come forth with a confession for Dice Christ and Seek his forgiveness. I am DMing my friends in a sci-fi fantasy campaign and they have recently befriended a bartender and PC.

What they don't know is that this bartender, Trin, is actually part of a shadowy organization of cyborgs that have been searching for them. Okay, first off, this is the perfect name for a fuckboy. Turn your head. Turn. It's honestly kinda close to Tucker. Does everyone wanna go around and give everyone

their best trend? Hey, hey. What's up? What's up? What's up? I am fricking trend. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. I'm freaking trim. I'm dreaming I'm trying to get my tip with.

You want a gin and juice? I'll make you a trin and juice. You want a crumb, dude? I want a cronode. They ain't no to your crumb. Recently, the party was discussing a previous cyborg they dealt with in an earshot of Trent. They asked if he reacted to the mention of the cyborg.

I asked for a perception check, and one of the players got a dirty 20. I said he didn't. In my mind, he wouldn't react because their involvement with these cyborgs is exactly why he's following them, and he wouldn't blow his cover. And still, I feel like I cheapen the role in a possible interesting development, despite it throwing my planned reveal of the rails.

So please, dice-crisp, forgive me for hiding the true intentions of my cyborg NPC. I feel like I've walked the path of the railroad and need straightening. Dice-crisp, be with you. I will say dice-crisp, would have protected you. You could have done this by the book You could have had Trends deception be high Then trend could have rolled it legit and beat the dirty 20 and your conscience would be clean

I also think that it makes sense that trend wouldn't react if trend knows that they know that's up to the role That's up to who. But like if you're embedded, if you're like essentially pretend like you're a cop trying to get in with the mob, you're not gonna be like when they like mention mob business, you're not gonna be like, That's not it though, that's mentioning like cop business.

That's like, that's being in a room. Yeah. And being like, if there's any undercover cops in here, I'm gonna shoot them all in the head. And then like for the Flint. The one person might, yeah, roll them. Okay, okay. That is like, yeah.

Like your cover can be blown. That's like the point of being undercover. That's scary. That's scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can give yourself a advantage on the sexual role because you've been deep. There's all these things.

I should clarify one thing because they also wrote for clarity. I have the NPC using true polymorph scrolls Warforge to human to hide his true form from the party. I've hinted that he's remarkably dexterous, good with computers, and cold to the touch. Oh, sounds rad. Sounds rad. So I do feel like the groundwork has been laid for them to be suspicious enough that you wouldn't necessarily throw them off completely by saying she didn't. I think you have done well otherwise. Go with Dice Christ.

Yeah. Use deception roles in the future. Yeah. Let's see. One of your players hook up with Trin. Yeah. Also, Dice Christ doesn't want us to be perfect. Dice Christ just wants us to try to be good.

Mmm. Wow. That's beautiful. Put that on a fucking notebook. Spray it with plural bodies, pray. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha it smells like fucking trin. Yeah, by being honest. I love going to the Barnes and Noble that leaks. Yeah. Sweet, and yes, so go forth and spray your notebooks

with Barnes and Noble Smum. Amen. And with that, I think we will take recess. Yes. We will reconvene over on our Patreon for bonus cases. Indeed, over on patreon.com slash nat pod. That's NADD.D.P.O.D. Don't sing yet.

Don't do it. Sorry about it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Do it. Um, uh, Ali Beardzoo will be joining us over on our Patreon. Oh, yeah, wait.

But before that, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Oh, oh my gosh. I have so much I'd love to plug. Oh, great. Good all then. Yeah, so no. You don't want to put it in. It's something.

It doesn't have to be like a 30 minute turn. Currently, I'm going to Carpentry classes. And so I'm kind of trying to unplug. Oh, I'm trying to be out in the sun. Even that for a plushie class. Yeah. But you can find me on B-Real. I'm Ali Beardsley.

What is the thing you plugged? I love that you guys are. It's a new social media where once a day, everyone in the world gets a notification and you click on it and it takes a photo with your front and back camera simultaneously and post that You're the one who pushes Same time and you have to

Post it like late and it'll just say how late you were but it's supposed to be the anti like perfect salad You do the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Fuck you putting your phone away. Gets it. No. Don't do meta social media. That's actually pretty cool. So there's an app where you get an alert and you put your phone away and then you can check how fast you put it away. Oh, yeah. And you post your time.

And you post that time. Yeah. You post the time of how long you put your phone away. And then you can go on for hours at a time and just scroll through other people's time. Yeah. And then you give them a good time. Oh, you can give like claps for a good job.

That's a good time. Oh my god. I love that. I love that. OK, well, I'm going to anti-plug fucking be now. I'm going to beat your fucking plurgas. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to plug? I'd love to plug our store, which is shop.nadpa.com

because we actually have a new shirt in there. It is a D&D court shirt. Oh, we might have some more D&D court merch there too if things go correctly, but we gotta shirt with the D&D seal on it, the court seal. It's really classy. It's Chelsea or a con. So you can be your own Supreme Crit Justice.

Yeah. And if you wear it to a D&D game, actually all your rulings are law. Mm-hmm. That's true. That's absolutely true. That's actually correct. And it's here that's playing out Cheeto.

Yeah. Yeah. I do want to say it was designed by Chelsea LeComp. And it does come pre-seasoned with Eurk's birdie spray. Wow. I'm going to go ahead and plug the Honeymooners, the Flintstone. Oh my God. Flintstone kids.

Yeah, I'll plug Flintstone kids. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's also plug the Flintstone show where Pebbles and Bam Bam were grown up. And Barney was a cop for some reason. I don't know. I don't know.

I remember this. I really remember this. Yeah, he was a cop. Deep, deep I don't know. I remember this. I really remember this. Yeah, he was a cop deep deep Flintstone spin-offs Great style that that show has Can I plug again? I actually have a really good one. Yeah, okay, so I yeah, my plug is I have a discord channel called the beard sleeve flower bed And it's really cute. Oh, I'm enjoying that Can I subscribe? Yeah, please get in there. All right. It was really great mods and, and I'm showing that to the subscribers. Oh, that's awesome. Absolutely. Can I subscribe? Yeah, please get in there.

All right. We have really great mods and they're all called gardeners. Yeah. Oh, that's great. You'll talk about anime on there? Oh, so much. Let's do it. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I actually have something to plug. Emily and I are in a little video game. Whoa. It's just a little sneak peek. If peek if you make it to the ending. There might be some familiar voices in there. Yes. We are in the game. The quarry were podcast hosts that you might only hear us in that ending.

You might hear us throughout it. I'm not 100% sure we haven't got a chance to really dive into it yet. But yes, check out the quarry from Supermassive Games. It was a pleasure working with those guys. It was so fun. It was really fun to do it. Everything we read was so cool. It was, I guarantee it could go. Yeah, so check it out.

It's a cool horror game. Just game out. You just might hear me and Emily's voices. Play to the end. Only true gamers will hear them are phenomenally. That might be true. That might be true. That might be true. That might be true.

Sweet guys, you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. At CHMRIFUSME, at Caldice Coddle, at Astrots Emily, at J.C. Coates his Jake. At the Beardsley. At the Weird app that you plugged. Yeah, what's your name? It's your Hibolon B-Real. On B-Real, I think it's Ali Beardsley, but I'm not totally sure. Just Google my Ali Beardsley.

Yeah. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag, madpod, that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. We are, we are, we! You didn't know about that! It's the end of the show, Arvone, and you know what that means. It's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. I'm talking about Brad D. Jeffery S. Who's C? Later, Mick Skater, Matt M. Jordan T.J. Cutter W. Daniel G. Dylan B. Who is missing his own game

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duck team's tails with an on the go all stop show. Blue Slay the Artificer. Michaela R. Elbin's Elbestor Aftermath, hashtag come up its will rise. Salam Sticky Sauce, hashtag CCC double down. Colliope's cumulo cum blast hashtag CCC double down, Colliapies, cumulow, cum blast, hashtag, CCC forever, Riley S,

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Chaos, Kampf, aka, IMAsemathire! Jacked AR, Tony G, Logan D, Anthony Dale Murphy Jr. would like to declare his full support for hashtag CCC and its derivatives. Josh H. Jack, the Jack's jinxing rogue in search of Bohumia's biggest balls. Sammy, Vanico, Mingo, and Panadas, Corabrite and Temadar. That's it. Thank you all so much.

We love you so much and all the strange things you write into these shout outs. We love you. Wap, wap, wap, wap. Goodbye, my sweeties. That was a hitdown podcast. Goodbye, my sweeties. That was a Hitgun podcast.