Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court - Death Save Coin, Chill Ragers, & Heating Warforged

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Supreme Crit Justices Murphy, Axford, and Tanner along with Dungeon Bailiff Jake as we review your cases. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We should really get a theme song. That's right. Yeah, we should do a little theme song. No, I just want to use the law and order theme music. Yeah, we're allowed to do that, right? A theme, dun, dun. Maybe it's, maybe we do done, gin, and then we like it could just beat done gin. Yeah, or we just hire someone to sing the entire

song and I'd done you to the end. Yeah, maybe we just hire an college aquapele group to sing the law and order theme music but replacing all the words with Don and Jen. I think we do a bad enough job singing the Lawn Order theme that we couldn't get to for it, because it's not anywhere near what it is. The teams from pitch perfect are real, right? We can hire one of them, they're real.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'll look into the teams from pitch perfect and hire one of those to do. Please do, yeah, that was nonfiction. We are your Supreme Crit justices, Murphy, Axford and Tanner. And then of course, the Lolli, Dungeon, Bailey, Jay. I don't know when we started to say it.

I don't know why. At least in a little time, I forget. And then I'm reminded. Yeah. And it makes me laugh. Yeah. I actually the Lolli thing seems to be sticking in the comments. Some people are coming to be sticking in the comments.

Some people are coming to my defense, but yeah, I see loley a lot. The more we insist on being treated with respect, the more people decide to treat Jake with disrespect. Right. The police is the court and also Jake, if he's available. Yeah. Sweet, and with that, we'll throw to Dungeon Baylor of Jake.

Actually, and this is very apropos. Nico M. writes, well, it's courted session. Sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was ready to jump in. Okay. We got one.

What? Are we court? I'm so sorry. The justice is demand to the, for their steam. I got it. I got it. I get it. No, you're right, the bailiff. Yeah.

Let me break court into session. Excuse me. Here you, here you. Hey, you're really now in session. The honorable Supreme Court justices, Axford Murphy and Tanner presiding. And you're righteous, bailiff. Jake Lee, do you believe me?

It's not an internalized too much. You may proceed. Nico M. writes, may have pleased the court, but mostly bailiff Jake, I'm too much. Okay, you may proceed. Nico M writes, may it please the court, but mostly Baylif Chay, because I feel like. Wow! They're right, because I feel like you need a win buddy. So they lose any tie breakers. It's a personal.

Interesting. Okay, Nico, interesting gambit here. In one of my home games, in one of my home games, my DM makes it an action to change weapons. We have characters with multiple weapons and in nearly every other campaign I've been in where people have multiple weapons, it's sort of understood that we use video game rules

and so far as it isn't too terribly realistic to be carrying three magical weapons, a great axe, javelins, et cetera, et cetera. Am I right for saying that this rule should be ignored for the sake of the rule of cool? I think in general, I would agree, but I guess it depends on the weapons, right? Like if you are like a two-handed wielder, if you've got a freaking swi-hander, and then you want to switch to like a bow and arrow, that might require an action? I don't know, it still seems harsh. I think rules is written. I do think you do need to take a moment to

switch stuff. We can look this up, but. It might be a rules as written thing. My first thought is like, okay, if these are the rules of your world, sometimes rather than being like, ah, like I wish you might actually get cool moments out of this rule, like if you grapple the weapons

out of your opponent's hands, then presumably they need to take an action to get their next weapon out. It is very funny to picture somebody in the middle of a battle that's going on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I need to sheath this and then pull this one out. Just like going through a big purse, being like, cut, how do I have so many chaps? Yeah, pulling out the bag of holding and be like, it's in here somewhere. It's it's a really cool two-handed blade. You're gonna love it So I'm reading here actually

I've gone to the forums everybody. Oh, no forums have cited the books We can trust that so In the player's handbook when it talks about free object interactions, one of the things it says is that you can draw or sheath a sword is an example of one of the things that you can do for free. But can you do both? Can you do both?

So I guess like if you just used your weapon, can you sheath it, then draw another one? That's really interesting. So you might have to be like, cool, I attack with my, a, Zwaihander, and sheath it this turn, and then next turn, I draw my javelin, you know. Interesting, okay. And you don't have to sheath the javelin

because you just throw it. Yeah, that's right. Just to clarify, is the person asking the question for someone who has two attacks, so they would be trying to attack with one weapon on one turn and then attack with another weapon on their second weapon attack? They don't mention, they just say we have characters with multiple weapons.

It's probably a situation, all it's probably like, oh, let's say that the arena that you're fighting in is your fighting close combat, but you take someone down, and then the next person is like far enough away, they are like, okay, maybe I'll try and hit them with my javelin. Yeah.

You know, I think it takes all kinds, you know, all kinds of games, and in our game personally, a chiller judge this time. Guys, you guys know me. You guys know I'm fucking relaxed. I'm chill, I'm fucking normal. I'm just a normal ass dude. I'm a normal ass guy.

No one is normal in the person saying I'm normal. I'm fucking normal. You're normal. I'm normal. I'm normal. Okay. What's the one thing everyone says about me? That I'm normal.

That's why we call it NAD pod. Normal ass dude. I'm mad. It's the NAD pod. It's my pod That I'm normal. That's why we call it mad pod. Normal ass dude. I'm mad. It's the mad pod. It's my pod. I'm mad. Normal ass dude. Normal ass dude pod. Mer-merf the mad.

The mad lad. So normal. I have to be honest, when I think of mad, I definitely think of different. Right, yeah. Yeah, there are games where, you know, when you hear this specific thing, you're like, oh, this is way too crunchy.

This isn't any fun, but if you play in a game like this, there can be really tense situations from, you know, some games are a little bit more strict than us, for instance, like critical role. If somebody wants to make a perception check or an investigation check or something during a fight, that is their action. It will be like, I'm looking around.

And there's something very cinematic about that, where it's like, you know, like a scary situation. If there's an invisible creature in a cave fighting you, and you have to use your whole turn to try to pull out a different weapon or to try to just do an investigation check to try to track it down. I get how you can feel kind of bogged down by some of that stuff, but it also can lead to some pretty great moments.

So there's a trade off. But I see why this DM would want to do this, even though it seems too much. I think I kind of agree with Merf that I'm like, that I totally understand where you're coming from, but I can also see some fun moments coming out of it. So like, I don't know that I'm like fundamentally opposed to it. Yeah, if a DM told me that this was gonna be like

the house rule for the session, I would prickle a little bit at first, but like I think this is a sort of thing where like, once you take your medicine, you kind of see like how it can be cool. Also, I think Emily brought up a great point when I was reading the rule of the idea of you can draw or sheath a sword as a free action.

Then that leads into fun stuff where like, you're in a battle, a dude's running at you, you have on this turn, you do, I shoot him twice with my bow, and then I pull out my sword, and then you're ready for next turn. So I would bring this to your DM and be like, hey, this free object interaction. Can I use this to like essentially prep my next turn

and not necessarily do it mid turn? I think that's a good solution. Yeah, I think that's what you do is you're like, okay, I used my sword, took down the person in front of me, and then I sheathed my sword. And then it's kind of fun because then next turn you start out with, I draw my fucking bow, and then I was like, what are they gonna do? Just sheath your weapon at the end of every single day. Because when I'm trying to say, fucking get your DM, fucking own their ass she did every time like so that you're allowed to do this Or your DM's allowed to do this, but you can absolutely fuck with it still

Although technically technically their DM is saying that it takes an action So I guess we are kind of saying rules as written you can you do have a free sheathing or Drawing on on each turn so you could maybe propose to your DM Hey, what if we like met in the middle and instead of it taking a full action We got to either draw or sheath like so like we were kind of like Living in any more like high stakes object interaction world, but maybe not as high stakes as it takes an action Yeah, I will say it will definitely make your players think a little more Cinematically, which I think will definitely lead to cooler moments as Murph said.

Right, yeah. I think video game logic is we mostly use video game logic, which works really well for us, but some other people might thrive in more of like a okay, we're sitting here, this is gritty, we're gonna make it seem kind of real. And then the moments feel smaller but bigger in certain circumstances. I still say if you're living in a world where it's an action to get a new weapon, then you guys just gang up on the on your fighting one big person with some crazy necrotic magical sword. All right, do everything you can to get that sword out of their hand. All right, do everything you can to get that sword out of their hand. And then they just want punch you.

I love the idea of like optimizing a character who's just good at stealing other people's weapon. Yeah, just take battle, battle master and disarm people that through. It's a stupid thing, but I always just want to just like, I'm always like, well, why can't you just take their weapon away? It's good to me. It's very funny to picture just like running up and just like punching someone in the gut and like try to steal their swathe.

Even though they're like, you know, a nine foot tall like Lich Monster. Yeah. Nothing about that sword though. So I think I'm ready to wrap this one up. I'm ruling in favor of the DM, although I think Nico could take this to their DM and... I think I'm gonna, I don't know where I rule. I think that, I think that like, there could be cool things that come from that restriction.

So the DM isn't fundamentally wrong, but I do think that Nico could be like, hey, what if we kind of met in the middle? So there's like an option where it's like, we have one, one one weapon interaction either she think are drawing per turn. Would you argue that this was a tie breaker situation? Mmm.

It might be a tie breaker situation for me. Wow. What did Nico say about Justice Axebird? This is a kangaroo court. I call for a mistrial. Nico, if you could get back to us with one point of praise for each of us, that'd be great. Nico did say, may it please the court? Just a lot of people on this court is on-sane.

They specifically want to be to be pleased, right? I'll tell them what's really. Well, I'm a, I will say that I am also a nad pod, a never-anger daddy. So I think that I am going to rule in favor of the DM. OK. So ordered. What is, you know, was it was a close one, but Nico actually has to be punished, unfortunately.

Yeah. It doesn't. Please me at all. It has to happen. Does Nico have to come up with something nasty about Jake? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to shrink me.

Nico has to sit across from Jake at coffee and decide to prepare a least favorite thing of that. Yeah. Why am I being punished? They're least favorite thing of your least favorite thing of that. It would be so fucking horrible. After a 10 minute interaction. A coffee?

Oh, great. I've like divulged myself. We have to get to know each other. I'm also a little bit like hyped up. Like I'm a little bit like wired from the coffee. Oh yeah. You're not in a place to hear to know each other. I'm also a little bit hyped up. Like I'm a little bit wired from the coffee. Oh yeah, you're not in a place to hear something about it. No, no, no, no. You're more apt to be crushed.

It's gonna be, you guys are gonna be in this press-o. Not just coffee. You're dehydrated, you're gonna be able to have a weapon, but it is gonna be sheath. Well yeah, it's at a coffee shop. It better be sheath. Right. It's gonna take you a full action

to draw your blade to defeat Niko. Yeah. And yeah, I'm gonna say Niko also feel free to write in next time. Maybe have us choose between what was the worst of your two least favorite J. Kerr with moments. That's just crazy. A little homework. Horrible assignment. So you don't have to do that homework. All right, so ordered, we're moving on to the next case. Patrick O.B writes, dear honored judges and whoever else is there, I guess. Oh, cool.

I was on a tiebreaker box. Oh, that's good. That's good. That's, don't know. Okay, one of the other, I don't want other people to, you know, to game the system with the tie break. When you said that, you did this little smile that was like so tight, it was like just little teeth.

A tiny tooth smile. Yeah. How do you make them so small? One of the other players in a campaign was playing a war forged named auto who was wearing heavy armor Cool and enemy spellcaster used heat metal on auto's armor, but auto's player argued that it's war forged Integrate their armor into their bodies. It was part of his body and no longer an object and could not be targeted It eventually devolved into the only shouting match between the DM and the player we ever saw and serves as a dark stain. I mean already I'm signing with you for the

phrase dark stain. In your ineffable wisdom my god how what a writer how would you rule the case of auto's I mean every mean, every question should include inevitable wisdom and dark stain. This is tough one. Just the highs and the lows, there they are. Gosh, I feel like I'm so biased because they named their Warforged Auto, which is the same name that's what Keychains name used to be.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I think the weird thing the player has done here is almost told on themselves. They've almost like gotten themselves into a worse situation because the DM could argue, okay, then I'll just fucking heat you. Then there is no, you have no defense. I thought that was wondering.

That's what I'm wondering, yeah, so they're like, the armor becomes part of your body, so then what is your defense just that your body gets hot as fuck? Cause that's not funny. Yeah, and you like literally keep taking that damage. What's the rule of heat metal? Is it, it's,

Is you take the damage until you drop the object? Um, so I'm reading the, like the page on Warforged. And I think they're actually less directly metal. They're living steel and stone. Warforged are form from a blend of organic and inorganic materials. Root-like cords infused with alchemical fluids, service their muscles,

wrapped around a framework of steel, dark wood or stone. I would say that if you've incorporated metal armor into yourself, you're probably fucked on that front, but if you went out of your way to say that it was not metal or something like that, or you you had like some sort of like specific leather armor that you would incorporate it, then like yeah, you're probably fine there, but it seems like they specifically like melded metal armor

to themselves. So this is what it says right here, right? So it says integrated protection. Your body has built-in defense layers, which can be enhanced with armor, so you can still wear armor. But one of the racial traits of Warforged is that they get plus one bonus to armor class. But it also gives instructions on how you can don or doff armor.

So a Warforged can be, can take damage, can be affected by things that affect your armor or whatever, just as anybody else can. And if the Warforged wants to argue that the armor is in their body, I would argue that the DM could then say, okay, that's how you want to play it, then you heat up and you take damage. Because it says right here that you feel pain.

Like you're like circuits heat up as well as you've integrated this. I think I have like really no opinion on what the right answer is. My only thought is that hearing this a little bit sounds like the DM was setting up kind of a cool moment to show a vulnerability of this one super powerful character and that everyone would have to work together to fix it, which could be wrong. Maybe absolutely not the situation. But if it was the situation, that does sound kind of cool.

So I like that setup. Yeah, I definitely am mad at the DM for hurting poor sweet auto, but I think that the rules might be in their favor. I think the DM should melt auto. Because it's low. No. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people play characters that... It says on your sheet what your character can do.

It says all of the things, all of the special things about that particular character. If you start just arguing for rules because of like the cartoon version of your character that you have in your head, that doesn't exist in any basis in reality. You're turning this court into a circus. Order!

We will have order! Wow. There's our chill guy. There's our normal guy. This is your normal ass dude right here. No, I think it's, you know, it's that thing of somebody arguing, oh, this halfling knocked down this door, but me, a big goliath wasn't able to do it.

That's not fair. And it's just like, well, does the halfling of a 20 strength score? Because if so, the fucking math adds up that they should be able to do better than you. This is like when Wolverine met Magneto for the first time and Magneto was like, oh shit, you got metal in your bones. Yeah, I got your number. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's why I think that's why I like the move from the DMS because it just seems like a cool moment to happen.

So I'm just surprised that it turned into a hostile thing. Now that being said, if they were pulling this moment, every fucking fight, and just like using heat metal on them all the time, obviously that would get old. But I feel like it just kind of reminds me of the kid that's like, you actually can't tag me because I have an invisible armor on. I actually have. You actually can't tag me because I actually said

timeout, soon as you're gonna tag me. Timeout, timeout, timeout, time out. Timeout. Timeout. Timeout. Timeout. Timeout. Timeout. Timeout. I'm out. I'm out.

I'm back in now that I'm not in it. You're in it. Yeah, I feel like you gotta own it. You gotta like number one. I don't think this deserves to be a dark stain. This is a blemish at best. This is a miscolored blemish. There's a dark stain where auto was melted.

Right, just leave. I hate that I agree with birth. I fucking hate it. I'm a normalist, dude. I hate that I might stand with this normalist, dude. I think that there should be a dark stain, but from something fun, like spilling a drink out of referee. Oh, that's nice.

Oh yeah. Cause like, it'd be hard to get of referee. Oh, that's nice. Oh yeah, because like it'd be hard to get the wine stains off of your metal frame. Exactly. Yeah. Baylor of Jake, where do you weigh in on this? I'm against wherever you guys are. Wow. So you stand with Otto.

I stand with Otto. You catch more flies with honey, Jake. All right. You turn this cord into a dark stain. Yeah, I'm gonna rule for that DM, which is, this is funny because it sounds like the player who submitted this is not auto. It just, we have no, it's just a,

it's just the, it's someone who flies the yelling match. And innocent bystander trying to make sense of like you're not that they have typing this email as everyone shouts. As they hear pizza boxes launching and slapping against windows. There's really no excuse for a shouting match during D&D ever. Because even though I think the DM's right here, if I were the DM in the situation, and the other person was yelling at me,

I'd be like, you need to leave my house. I think that's part of what maybe what makes me root in favor of the DM is because I feel like I can conceive of the war forage being like, oh, like fighting for it and being like actually this, but after like three times, you just gotta be like, yes, DM. I think.

Yeah, you can push back like twice. And you have to do it sweetly in a cute way and maybe slightly cheeky. If the DM was fucking you over by using heat, if they were using heat metal in some kind of funky way where it was like, oh, since you're a warforge They're gonna use it to Melt your hand in a way that you drop this

Jewel that you needed that's the McGuffin of the campaign and then they catch it and teleport away That would be fucked up. Yeah, that would be so. This player has just decided that they can't be targeted by this spell Where's I do think it's cool like it's like that Wolverine Magnetal moment, like, oh, you're so fucking strong, and here's this one situation. And then the rest of the team has to be like, what are big strong warfords? Don't worry, we're gonna save you.

But that also gives you a personal vendetta against this villain. Like, auto now has a reason to end this villain, because they have their number. They got this weakness against them. Yeah, right. Yeah, your DM just gave you a cool story art. I think that's what I think. But you never know, if this was like the third time

and they just were always invalidating your ability by throwing a heat metal on you, that would be a different story. All right, I rule in favor of the DM here. Okay. So wait, so this wasn't the, this wasn't auto writing in. So did we punish this person to throw it in?

No, no, no, you, you still punish. I have to be a mediator. This is the mediator. Yeah, someone must be punished. We are not punishing the mediator. I think we need to sentence auto. Yeah, auto, I think auto is being punished. Do you think we sentence auto to be dipped in lava like Terminator 2? Wow, that's an actual, okay, yeah, that's great. Yeah, auto, I think auto is being punty. Do you think we said it's auto to be dipped in lava

like Terminator 2? Wow, that's an actual surgery. Okay, yeah, that's great, yeah, I like that. Oh, auto the character gets dipped in lava. I would also say I like the cleaning up the stain caused by revelry. I think we have to spill red wine on the DM's carpet. Yeah.

Yes. And then this is really just a punishment for the DM. I don't know why I'm saying this and then auto just to really apologetically clean the DM. I don't know why I'm saying this and then auto Just to really apologetically clean it up. You got to get the car I feel like I don't want that's a pun it that's I would hate that if I were this player who submitted it works through like Icebreakers and sort of like games so they can like all get back into being friends again. That's staying is not coming out It's gonna be like kind of a white wash

Yeah, you're gonna have to hire a rough, to the DM. I think we need to sentence the player who plays auto to get a dark stain on their own carpet. Okay, wow. Yeah, just grab a freaking bag. I think that's what we need to leave the DM and the mediator out of this and put the dark stains where they belong.

Yeah, we're gonna show up at your door with a zesty red blend. But the carpet of the culprit, that's what it needs to go. When we spill it you're gonna taste the pepperingus in the air That's how much we're gonna spill. It's a pass a robes blend You're gonna love it the player who submitted this needs to go to auto's house Walk in the door of the apartment or wherever and just silent and pull Magnum Bob Eye contact.

And then just a barefoot fucking red blend all over the carpet. Just like go through your ants, wine closet. Yeah. The biggest magnet bottle you can find. Bottoms up. And the entire thing has to empty. So if auto comes and tries to upright the bottle, you need to fight.

Yeah, you need to go this. You might need your wrestle. You might need to wrestle. It needs you might need to wrestle like that. It needs to be emptied. Because you can't explain yourself until after it. You're not absolved. You need to then share with us the audio of the Magman bottle glugging onto someone's carpet.

You might have to leave a wine trail through the house as you're being chased. That's allowed. It doesn't all have to be in one place. It just has to be a carpet. Oh, there's not really a fun thing for someone who's got kidnapped onto a car and then they find a wine bottle in the back and then they smash it and it leaks wine. That's cool.

Awesome kidnapping, M. So if you're gonna kidnap someone, make sure there's no loose wine bottles in your trunk, okay? Yeah, really what we're here for is giving advice to kidnap. No, it's if you're a kidnap to use the wine bottle, call those of the ones who made it about tightening up your kidnap your plan. I just want to make sure everyone's informed. Yeah, I don't. I've only had the kidnappers side. I've only had a

plan for out of escape. And call the told kidnappers had a tighten up their security. I just think it's important for everyone to know all of their options. Yeah, I'm just glad they're all that both sides are listening to the podcast. Yeah, we appeal to both kidnappers and kidnappies Right down the middle So so ordered so our next case comes from Daniel C They write may it please the court in my campaign. I currently run my party is investigating a smuggling ring run by a you want you want tea half snake half human monster people

Well, their leader is a you on tea abomination called the great mamba and as a Joe She has henchmen known by numbers instead of names Villain wood on the party kidnapped a henchman to squeeze for Intel They found the fifth henchmen known appropriately as mamba number five for Intel, they found the fifth henchman known appropriately as Mamba number five. What immediately followed was a violent rage I had never seen before from my players in our entire campaign. One player fully logged off Discord, another called me a dumbass for 30 seconds, and my roommate threatened to move out and left our apartment without shoes on. What? Wrong cases.

Was my joke really so bad? I knew it would be a little corny, but did it deserve such dramatics? Should I have chosen another name like Monica or Erica or Daniel? Oh, I was still on. She that makes me want to log off, right? Like at first you're a little bit on their side. Like this is an overreaction,

but they're still doing it. It's not good. And actually it's really nice because sneaking in that Mamba number five thing for us at the end feels almost like I felt in that feeling right, the play. I wanna leave the Zoom right now, right? You feel it?

I'm sad I read it. I think it's so wild to me. Imagine going for a shoes off walk because you heard a joke that was so bad. I, I do not believe the story. I think I don't believe it either. I need verification. I need the Discord logs.

There's not enough data here. Yeah, show us the Discord logs. Show us the, um, show us the shoelace picture of your roommate. Show us the blood from your roommate's feet as they ran outside. I will, I will, I will say in defense of the people who all left the game, it is very funny to do that. More funny than a Mamba number five joke. That's what I was thinking too.

It's almost like they started going bigger than the joke because like they stole the joke from you. Right. I think that they were actually playing into your bit in how they reacted. Yeah. That being said, I'm not opposed to how enjoyable it would be to have someone named Mombo number five

be a very serious character. Yeah, I feel like that's such a fun little gift from this DM that I feel like it would get a chuckle and everyone would kind of razz them, but like I don't think we'd sign off. Yeah. But maybe, yeah, I don't know. If I wasn't doing it as a job and I just thought it was funny, I might just sign off.

That's true. If we didn't all have to text to reschedule. Yeah. Here's the question. It's like, did they just fully ghost or was like there a like text thread that followed where the deal was like guys It was almost like the like the reaction the rousing to of the joke got really big and out of hand and that's I Feel like I think I feel like it's all fun good and fun Yeah, that was the question is was this fun?

It essentially was that's kind of fun The question is, was this fun? It essentially was. That's kind of fun. Leaving the apartment without shoes on just feels like a joke. Yeah, the barefoot line. This is classic goof-hum behavior of like being like, that's it, I'm done, and then actually leaving.

That's a good bit. Yeah, it's committing. You know what I mean? That's committing a really good thing. Yeah. That is what my favorite Disney character, goof-hum, would do. Yeah.

Goofum is always shoelace in leaving. I love it when Goofum leaves McCale's house. But again, did anyone else feel this that you were on this person's side a little bit until the end of the joke? Right up until the end. And then you could just hear that, eh, eh. And that made me want to leave the house with my shoes off.

I think I just think that it was a fun little thing to throw in that could have also been fun. And I think that your players are clearly your friends and they were also playing a joke too. Yeah, I think that leaving the house without your shoes on is the counter spell to this joke. Yeah. It is a perfectly orchestrated rebuttal. Right. I think your joke was dumb.

Nothing's wrong with it. Dumb joke. Dumb jokes are fun. Dumb a fun. And what your friends did was all so funny. Yeah. So I think you've got a house full of goof homes is what I'm saying.

It's kind of like there's a lot of jokes that I think a lot of people say. I know I can say this about myself. There are a lot of jokes I say to Murf that I, and I know there's a lot of jokes that I think a lot of people say I know I can say this about myself There are a lot of jokes I say to Murph that I and I know there's a lot of jokes He says to me that I don't want him to sincerely laugh at sometimes I really want him to roll his eyes Yeah, yeah, you got the ultimate rolling eyes you got you ruined the night You got it you got what you want it? That was the reaction you did it want

I was a reaction to this to me funny you time. I did it one last time. I did it one last time. You did it one last time. No, it did to this tree. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time.

You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time.

You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time.

You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one last time. You did it one built a whole world game of ping pong and you guys are just hitting it back and forth to trick your friends into investing themselves in your goddamn world. I stand by I stand by you can name it mombo number five as a throwaway joke and then have them meet a really gruff world weary mombo number five. Yeah, I think that's what they were doing. I think the only way this would have been funnier is if they all just laughed and continued laughing and just laughed and laughed and guffered for a while and just kept being like, that was a really good joke, dude.

Well, we saw Mamba number three and four. I had no idea what was coming. Hey, before I take my turn, just wanna say, I'm still fucking chocolate at that mom number five joke, just like A plus stuff. She was her aunt, I'm staying here, I'm not running. So I think we all really favor of your friends who ran away. I think that I will favor them

because I think that they gave you, they gave you the honorable answer, the one that validated, I think you wanted that response. You wanted an eye roll and they eye rolled themselves right out of your perfect. They gave you the ultimate groan. Yeah. Yeah. They really acted out of groan. So and they must be punished for for this really. Okay. Are you? Yeah. Maybe you're not the DM anymore and Lou

Bega is. There you go. Yeah. Very very busy. I'm sure. Yeah. So it's going gonna be hard. And if not that we could always just have them get blasted by a blast and grandma That's a grand old raf. Maybe maybe the DM is now a blast and grandma. Well, yeah, the grandma's name is gramba number five So it all works. All right, excellent. So ordered This episode of NAD podOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

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And now we have another case from Grace M. They write, may it please the court. My DM has it put into effect a house rule for his campaign that I don't agree with. My DM is very new to D&D and this is his first time DMing. So we wanted to make this campaign very much his own. He thought for death saving throws, instead of rolling a D20, we would flip a coin. Now, I know technically the odds are slightly better than 50% when you roll the death saving throw. But he bought a cool coin, so we all agreed, just to have fun.

Except now, he's telling us that he's flipping the coin for us, and if we go down, he won't tell us the results of each flip. So we have to sit in suspense to see if we die or not. I guess I'm asking is, should the DM have this sort of holdover our character's fate? Thank you for your consideration. That's really weird. Yeah, they almost had me. We're on board with the cool voice. They're so close to having me. I was really on board with it until the fact that you actually don't see the result. This is new, this is very new DM stuff where you think that you need to have control

over everything. So he sounds like he wants to be able to hide it so that he can save a character if he needs to. But I feel like there are better ways to do that. Like you can have people give help actions, or you can, there are ways that you don't completely deflate the stakes. You know what I mean? I guess I wondered, I wondered if they were doing this rule

to build the suspense, but I think that knowing the death saves the suspense still builds up. Totally, it builds it more because you can trust that they're not lying or something or fudging their walls. Yeah, because then when someone dies, then you're just like, I didn't even see the flips, the feels.

I tend not have like, I like rolling for deaths. Like there's more suspense in that. Like with a coin, you could also call, you know, they flip a coin and you make the call. So like that. I feel a little more invested. That's cool. That's cool, Jake. That's very cool.

All right, yeah, create a Vailiff Jake, right? That's pretty cool. Wait a minute. Like I said, do you have Vailiff? Okay, I'm giving up my seat. What? Oh my god. Oh my god. No, you can't have your seat. This is what he wanted.

The Vailiff is a little short, but okay. He played you like a fiddle. What's the mid-sci on you? Trip on the robe, hit my head on the couch. He's out. He's out. But I have a cool coin that has like a one on one side and a 20 on the other and it's got a skull on it.

I'm holding it up on the camera now. It's like a hog slammer. Yeah, if you flip this thing to see whether you live or die, that's fucking cool. It's cool. I like that aspect of it a lot. It does suck that you don't get the nat 20 chance of popping back up to one.

Yeah, but you also don't get the two deaths save fails at at a one. Right. I'm gonna get it a little bit. Yeah, but I will say cool coin kind of makes up for it. I'm not against that house rule. If you wanna do a cool coin, I'm pro cool coin. I'm not against the house rule.

I do agree though, you should be, if they wanna flip it, you should still be able to call heads or tails. And I think that maybe they should know the outcome because like, whether they're doing it to save a character or if they're doing it to build suspense, like I just feel like no matter what,

it's always suspenseful. It's as suspenseful as it needs to be. If actors into how you use your action economy, because if somebody has three death passes and they're just stabilized, you don't necessarily have to heal them as much as you need to, somebody who has two death fails, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna flip this coin to see if Jake will remain a judge or return to being a loley bailiff. Jake, do you wanna call it? Yeah. Yeah. One or 20.

Yeah, you're doing this behind, wink wink, you're doing this behind the screen. Of course, we're going behind this DM's rules. So, called well, I want you to think carefully about what you see as this coin lands, wink wink. Yeah, Jake, I want you to think carefully about what you see as this coin lands. Winkly. Yeah, Jake, I want you to think honestly. Right, yeah. And of course, and we're all being honest here, because why would we need to hide it if we were?

Jake, I want you to call whether it's a 1 or 20 and then also which judge you want to replace. Yeah. Oh, well. Here we go. I'm flipping it. I gave up my seat and wandered into the audience. But that's why I want to serve on the bench with you. 20, called well.

What? That's right. I gave you a chance. I need to sit on the bench with my nemesis. I'm holding it up to the camera. It's a 20. Oh my God. Wow, unseated.

I gave you a chance. I mean, Jesus, I jake her with do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the players. No, I couldn't. I couldn't. We could have done great things, Jake. The court would go to shit without me. All right, so what is our ruling?

We're against this DM. I guess they're going to hide it. I guess they're going to I think I guess they're damn going I'm I'm ruling in favor of the I'm ruling in favor of the player I think that their instincts are right that they're like I also thought it was really nice that they were like they are a new DM like really trying to give an an earnest context for the situation. So I'm ruling in flavor of the In flavor of the flavor. Mm, flavor of the flavor. In favor of the player. In flavor of this sweet little damn.

In order to remedy this, I think really talk up the coin. Like just go in there and be like, guy, love in the coin. Love in the cool coin. Have a note, a note. First note actually, sorry, I have two notes. Yeah, the compliment sandwich. Two notes, yeah. No yeah, sorry three notes one note coin is an awesome idea the trick stuff to worry what if we did it in front of the board and we did it so that we could actually play the game correctly number three coin what an idea

what an idea did we give it up for the coin we actually yeah sorry yeah and I need to flip a coin to let you know that I love the coin. Yeah Sorry, am I the only one? Point coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin coin on the court. The coin replaces Caldwell. What? Yeah. I replace Caldwell, the coin replaces me. Yeah.

So Caldwell has the coin. I am the coin. Caldwell, you are the coin up. You're the coin up, Bailey. You're the coin up. To blatantly lie about what the coin said and you told the truth, which with your stark behavior you deserve to be beheaded and replaced. Whoa.

Fair enough. So wait, I'm being punished this time. Yeah. I think that this DM's punishment is that. you deserve to be beheaded and replaced. Whoa! Fair enough. So wait, I'm being punished this time? Yes, we're going to have to punish them. This DM's punishment is that, um, call Wilkins back. Oh my god. Call Wilkins beheaded to punish this DM for trying to insert a coin into his cat.

It's a harsh judgment, but I must stand by my words. I thought it was too much when I was going to get insulted by a player. It's punishment for the table too because no one wants to have to kill someone at their D&D game. You're going to have to do it. You're going to have to get that big quarter from Batman. The one that Batman has in the back cave and you're going to have to roll it right over my head. You by the quarter you die by the quarter And of course instead of instead of being the one who makes the ruling us to swing the sword It's this random as DM has to the one who flips the coin has to swing the sword Just weeping I didn't want any of this. I just wanted a little problem

I can't pay and right as it happens, I look towards this DM and I say, don't give me any quarter. Uh, uh, uh. And then everyone leaves and it saves your life. No, yes, there we go. Don't give me any quarter. Wait, will you explain the joke to me? Give me no quarter.

That's like, you know, don't hold back. Oh, okay, got you. It was very fun. Should I explain it again? If you can, please. A very much times. We've taken it back. You just have to listen to Caldwell explain that joke.

Every time you flip a coin. Ha ha ha. It's way worse than that. I know. You can't answer to me else. If you get heads, you have to be head Caldwell. If you get tails, you have to listen to him say that. It's totally honorable.

Hold on, here we go. All right. We'll say heads is one, 20 is tails. Okay. That's totally honorable. Hold on, here we go. All right. We'll say heads is one, 20 is tails. Okay. That's a 20, it's tails. Okay. You look at the list. So that's joke.

Congratulations, Galbaugh. All right. You should be expecting a knock on your door in five, four, three, two, one. I'm outside. Let's get to it. That's a gavle. Sweet. Guys, why don't we go ahead and do one more?

Yes, that's great. This final case comes from Joseph, DA. They write, may it please the court and the lowly bailiff? I can help. I like them, I like their vibe. I humbly request your ruling on DM versus Barbarian. My party recently fought a group of the Lajren. The Barbarian in my party was raging and I, the DM, had the

Audemaladrin cast calm emotions on the barbarian to break her rage. Our barbarian said she could be raging in a calm way. I countered that the spell specifically says you become indifferent to a creature of the Caster's choice and you cannot be raging against someone indifferently. She protested saying, Rage isn't really about emotion, which just seems absurd to me. And I argued that it is the same as being counterspelled just for a different ability. Was I on the right or do I have a horrible punishment awaiting me? Thanks, Sweeties.

You are right to be concerned. But I think we might be on your side here. Let's go ahead and look up common motions and let's all look up rage. Because I actually, I don't hate the player's argument here because I get you use the word rage and you're like, yes, of course, that's emotional. But the way Barbarians use it,

it is sort of like a battle trance. Right? It's like an ability that they have. Right. I'm super mad. Although it is a really fun. It's a fun, it's another thing like, almost like with the heat metal on the war forge.

It's like, I kinda, I like, I like the idea. Obviously if they did it frequently, that would be annoying, but doing it once is kinda like this fun thing. Okay, rage, in battle you fight with primal ferocity. Oh, primals to me says not emotional, right? Primals like this is instinctual deep inside. Lizard brain.

Your rage lasts for one minute. It ends if you are knocked unconscious or if your turn ends and you haven't attacked a hostile creature since your last turn or taken damage since then. Okay. So that does sound a thought. Yeah.

I think that rules us written it would not have It would not have ended the rage however perhaps Based on what common motion said if you could have gotten them to not Attack a hostile creature that would have ended the rage. Oh, yeah I just think that the phrase primal ferocity doesn't sound like emotions to me. Yeah, it's like something deeper than that. It's a federal. But I guess like the alternate is that you make a target indifferent about a creature

of your choice that it is hostile to you. Yeah. That seems closer to me, right? Where it's like hostility is definitely tied to rage. Yeah. Yeah, I think that I think that I actually think it was like a really cool move from the DM. I think that maybe the player might have been right

because primal ferocity doesn't read like emotions to me. However, I think that you could have, if they failed the save, made them not hostile to a target, and in which case they wouldn't have attacked, and then they would have lost their age. I think rule of cool has to go both ways. Yeah. It has to be a two- way street. Yeah, totally.

I think the DM kinda gotcha. You can maybe argue your way out of it, but it just on paper it makes sense. And maybe this character plays their barbarian as a super cool passive rager, but I don't know. It seems like they were scrambling a little bit when they said that rage doesn't have to be emotional.

It also says you attempt to suppress strong emotions in a group of people. It doesn't say you suppress like anger or something like that. So I would still argue that you are putting yourself into some kind of emotional state to rage, whether that be anger, whether that be some kind of focus, although I guess you could argue

that being super focused would make you unemotional. I think- I just think primal, I think that rule, like reading the descriptions, primal ferocity doesn't feel like emotions to me, so I do actually side with the player, but I do think that the DM had a really cool move though, so I do want to acknowledge that,

despite side-ing with the player. Yeah, I would take my lick, where I had this barbarian. Yeah, I think if I were the barbarian, I would have just been like, okay, I'm not raging anymore. The fact that you have to keep fighting though, or take damage,

and the fact that it's called rage, does, you know, it does hint at a bloodlust. It more than hints it, it heavily implies. But you could though, with if common motions were able to make it not hostile to a creature and then they didn't attack anyone, that turn, they would have lost their rage. Right. You got to use it or lose it. So that's what I'm saying.

There is a, there is a by the books version of where common motions does lose rage. I think it also depends on, if this is the player kind of trying to argue argue their way out of this one thing. I think that's not super fair. The player could have a good argument if that was their thing the whole time. If they had essentially reflavored rage to be like, I'm from a place where we like get super focused, we're unemotional, it is like very clinical the way we do battle. Then I think you have an argument there where it's like,

oh, I'm not emotional, but my guess is, most barbarians play it like, yeah, I'm going through, I'm fucking cutting dudes. So I'm gonna agree that the role play would have an effect. I do side with the player, however, I would need to know the situation of the role play because if this character's, everyone kind of comes up with a reason why they rage and how they rage and what makes them rage.

If this person's story is, I'm like really angry about this thing and like I pump my chest and get to an emotional space, then I think that maybe like the player should definitely have suspended that. But if they're like, no, I come from like a family and we get into this battle frenzy, like I think that it would be fine for you to be like, okay, maybe that's not emotions, maybe that is more of like a primal ritual. Yeah, right.

Like if you're a barbarian, like listens to a bunch of evanescence and like paces around, and then like, and then goes to attack, then I think that that's, you know, there's a wiggle room there. Yeah. I think I'm going to rule with the DM, because I do think that, I think the that's, you know, there's a wiggle room there. Yeah. I think I'm going to rule with the DM

because I do think that, I think the comm emotions, the fact that it gets a saving throw and stuff, I think it allows for a chance of success, I think there is some wiggle room here because there is no exact ruling for it and it does depend barbarian to barbarian. If your barbarian is going in there, getting super angry and using their anger

to be a fierce fighter, which is what the class implies, then I think that would work. If you have a re-skinned barbarian that is different than that doesn't work, on the information provided, I side with the DM, but I could see cases where the player would be right. It's cool either way. I'd also like to imagine if someone's barbarian different than that doesn't work. On the information provided, I said with the DM, but I could see cases where the player would be right. It's cool either way.

I was only gonna imagine if someone's barbarian, like instead of going into a rage, like they were just like, I chug an energy drink and go into battle. Conno motions wouldn't stop that. Yeah, you need to stop their heart, which would probably not be too hard. Yeah.

Red Bull gives you wings. So it's true. Actually, which transitions greater to our Red Bull add? Yeah. Yeah, it's very cool to picture it either way. Like if the Barbarian just keeps running after this spell is cast on them, because they are just a Barbarian who like has has a calm focus that like is a very cool moment but also if the like the wizard cast calm emotions and stops them dead in their tracks. It's cool either way. What I'm saying is that you did a cool thing, but I think I have to roll with the DM's version. The DM is the person who submitted. Okay, great. Yeah, that I roll with him. Yeah. I think that I think I'm side with the player just because I think the phrase primal ferocity isn't enough.

I don't know enough about the role play of your character. And I would say in addition to the role play aspect, the type of barbarian that you were would affect whether or not I thought it worked. Because there's some types of barbarian, like I know that there's like one based off of like storms I wanna say. Yes's like one based off of like storms I want to say yes Like one based off of animals in which case it seems like their rage comes from a more like

Primal almost ecstatic shamanic kind of place right rather than their own emotions So I would think that would also have a factor, but I would still say that like a bear is mad if you like You know grabbed one of its coves. Like that bear is pissed. I see what you're saying. Certainly if like your ancestral guardian show up then like that's certainly different than being like, up a bear. Yeah.

Yeah. But also, I mean, yes, a bear is angry, but like, I don't know, Maybe it's still just like not as much your emotions. I do think I think that's yeah I think that's the real way to test If the if the players is being honest here. Let's look at their subclass What type of barbeque subclass because I don't think you can be angry and also are hurricane I think that's just I don don't think they have emotions. The way you said that Mervet sounded like you were hitting on someone,

being like, what's your subclass? Hey. You come here off what's your subclass? Hi, I'm so sorry, this is so forward, but I'm- This is nuts. You have a lot of outsiders that come in here. Sorry, I'm meeting someone here. Yeah.

Well, I guess we're gonna need for our lowly bailiff to weigh in. Jake, if you could stop chucking that red bull and climb on up there. Go, go, go, go. In a race car going off a rampant to a group of people. He's fluke talking. Oh, do I have to actually rule? I really, I really just facilitate the cases.

You know, I think, I guess from playing Jivelin, I used to never really think of him as like, actually being super mad, but I did say that I was getting upset. So there's an emotion right there. I don't know, I guess I'm closer to Emily though, where like I kind of think the player's right, but also I wouldn't have fought it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is, see, I were, okay, let's say hypothetical situation. I'm playing Jivelin and this DM does this. It's kind of a funny moment to lose your rage because you got really calm. So it's like the instinct to lean in, because I think that's a good idea and it's a fun moment to lean into,

but I understand where the player's coming from. Yeah, I just want, the player really needs to look into their heart and be like, do I actually believe this? Or am I trying to get out of like, yeah. That's like a lot of these questions are like, okay. Are you actually getting fucked over by your DM? Or are you just like, but I don't feel like taking the opportunity now. Yeah, and I think that's also where it comes.

Like the roleplay, like how that player is role played, how that player usually is, that's like the call that you're making as a team. It's totally about role play, right? Because if there's something like, I don't know, if something would influence you one way or the other, if something would just like ever so slightly

tip you towards like one decision over another one, there are like spells that like affect your personality in that way. And certain characters are more or less violent. Certain characters are more or less, you know, lawful or chaotic or whatever. So like roleplay does affect this. So we can't properly, all we can do is kind of work

with what we have here, which is like, if you were to take your average barbarian, would you say Rage is an anger thing. I think in a lot of cases it is a lot of players who want to play like unique characters That maybe go against the grain Could make the argument that that their characters does not do that But just based on based on what we got here, I'm real with the DM. So I guess the DM, the ruling was for the DM,

but we was split because we allowed Baylor to shake to weigh in. So honorable, virtuous Baylor. We had a nice clear, concise case, and now we have a hung jury because we let fucking chase decide. And I think it's my fault that the jury is hung So I think that I maybe should be punished again. Yeah, I agree. Okay, let's all funny skulls

Well, I'm it's only fair. It's only fair If you asked to be punished, are you really being punished? He likes to do punish me Okay, we all wanted we all wanted too bad Okay, wait, we all want it. We all want it too bad. I'll just meet. I have it. I have it. Yeah, okay. They both get calm emotions cast on them and spend a really nice afternoon together.

Wow. That's perfect. I really have to meet you. I'm watching the Flute Tug. I think they're in the Flute Tug. I think they got a Flute Tug together. Wow. It takes two Tug to Flute Tog, y'all I'll say.

And then Caldwell will have to pour out a Magdum bottle of wine on his own carpet. Is another thing that we get to do. Can I do it on the kitchen tile? Sorry, he's gotta be car-bought. All right, everybody. Thank you all so much for listening. That's gonna be it for this week.

Or you know what, I was gonna say, cord is out of session, or cord is adjourned, but cord is in recess because we're gonna be doing more over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash. NAD pod, that's NADD, D-D-P-O-D, don't sing yet. If you wanna hear me bang this gavel, you're gonna have to wait. Yeah, does anybody have anything they would like to plug here?

Oh, you know the three black half-length podcast in an episode with Mary and Pippin. So wild. Whoa! That's so cool. That's so cool. It's, I am in Sam Lee jealous and I told Gaster I would give it a shout out because he wants people to listen to it.

But it's all listening because I'm so fucking jealous. I'm so fucking rad. I'm so jealous. So yeah, it's, so check it out. I'll keep on with the trend of just plugging stuff we like. Go watch Infinity Train. It's a really cool sci-fi anthology animated series from Cartoon Network. It rules and it might make another season, but they might not.

So yeah, go support it. I'll just keep plugging the expanse. Really love that world. Check out the expanse everybody. Let me some Chris. Get in there. Let me some Amos. Let me some Gunny.

Let me some Camina. Check it. It's a good place to be. Go live on an ask. Not actually a good place to be go live on an ask not actually a good place to be they go through a lot of hard Yeah, it's kind of tough All right everybody you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use at chmer for me at called these called well Addy extra assembly and at jk versus Jake and you can tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's any ddp O.D

We are the youth of an nation! We are the youth of an nation! It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffreus, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. The Supreme Crit Court sketch artists. They provide beautiful drawings of the judges and bailiff. To go along with each case, it's also worth mentioning that cameras are allowed in the court

and that these drawings are purely to massage the crew's massive egos. Jordan DJ, CutterW, Jive G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B. Another D&D party who left the house after their DM made a bad pun. Unfortunately, they committed to the bit too hard and ended up moving to Antarctica. Sounds like their game's been put on ice. Hey, come back. Shoebert the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scott D. A group of warriors who trained their bodies to be able to achieve and unsheath a sword in a single action that can also eat a banana without unpeeling it, which is honestly

more impressive. Danny P, Mixologist Michael McD, Boundors Boy, Andrew B, and Kevin S, DMs that have eliminated death saves in favor of push-up contests, it might sound cruel, but everyone at their tables is swole as hell, so the results speak for themselves. Just an eye, Ragnar Fadewind. TJM, the Noembarbarian, Alaina M, and Traylee the Kray-Fay, Carpendures who make furniture for the Supreme Crit justices, much like the bench they sit in while presiding over cases, each chair they make is roughly 10 feet tall, called all has already broken both wrists attempting to sit in one.

Jared E, Austin Bohnsai MR. Daniel R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt and Octo Litch. Tricks are gods who offer deals to near dead adventurers, but instead of chopping horses in half, these gods just make you piss your pants while you're passed out. Trajic but fair. Gay Jam. Richard X Machina. Michael L. Sergio Cellsar, Solomon, Sakuraiyaized Ace of Quanny, and Trast the Traveler, a law firm that specializes in D&D players

wronged at the table, their motto is, if it's not rules as written, then it can't be for bitten. Sir Carl, Jorias, Dena G, Azoth, Shadows, Kalamel, and Ryan, another law firm that specializes in defending the rights of people punished by the Supreme Crit. Their motto is, what they're doing is illegal and we will absolutely sue them over at fuck. Jack L. flawless whale, temporal, Sam L. Nicholas C. and recent S. dungeon bailiffs of the lower courts. Somehow they get more respect than our bailiff. Maybe the crit justice are just power hungry? No, impossible. Samuel B, Mike H, Byron Murphy likes to drink curfee, Matthew E, Colton B, and Adam G,

a D&D crew with the most severe death-saving rules of all. If you die in the game, you die in real life. The game is super tense and no one fights anything unless it's one-tenth challenge rating. Megan S, Mateo C, Nabadger, Panama James, Cummins the Bard, and Adrian the Halfling Bard, Evil Hinchman, Mamba's numbers six through 11, the joke is getting old, but by God, we've got to stick to it. Dan, Nikki W, Grace G, Drew Nasty, Ceci Lulu, and Jay, Acrua friends

who run out into the streets, shoelace, every time someone makes a joke they don't like, it's insanely dangerous. Barnes & Aitor, Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Crock-Waring Warrior and Lucas B. A party of mature barbarians who do not rage but get their powers by being a bit miffed. Aroness, it's Kevin. Hockfish is above average hog, New York, and Steven C. Warforged who are made of wood. Heat Metal doesn't work on them, but Boy-O-Boy regular ol' fire does.

KJ, Michael M, Raoul N, Mike K, Maxwell C, and Karen J. Warforged with a water cooling system to protect them from heat metal, everything will be perfect as long as, oh god, a melee attack shattered the system, their circuits are covered in water. Eccathor 666, Nick W, Taylor A, Matthew R, and as may M, the core forged. They aren't constructs made of metal, they're just humans with totally sick shredded abs. Nathan, Kazumir the all knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, Eric MkD, Jack Meehawth, and Thrath.

The co-owners of a real kick-ass coin. The tail side is a rattlesnake and the head side is a skull smoking a cigarette. So sick. Burley T. J. Dragonborn, Joe Rowe the inappropriate, Cody B. Liam D. and the Sandrane, the producers of real Warforged of Ebron, a reality show that highlights all the steamy drama when Warforged are hit with a heat metal spell. Ben A. Feldonis, Dave H. Qualebear, Catherine S. and David K. The polite ragers, these barbarians enter their battle frenzy by quietly saying excuse me to each enemy they behead.

Christian S. Dustin S. Keith K. Con Connor F, the Time Walker and Emilio D, Lou Beggas PCs in his weekly D&D game. Unlike the DM in this episode, Lou has the good sense not to bring up Mombo No. 5 when naming his villains. Frankie Koala, Big Bad John, Astoness, Blair the Bug Blair Barbar Blarion, Pork Chop, and Chanel M, the Ministry of Merlot, dispensed by the Crit Justices, this crew of hooded vigilantes will pour wine all over the carpet of anyone who just pleases the court.

Alice, Valacy Raptor, Menette F, Pat L, A Chuta A, and Lauren H, a crew of friends who overheard Jake being told off at the coffee shop and were so sick and that they couldn't even finish their scones. Elias Hawthorn, Maddy Y, Alex H, the eldest Barry, Ryan S, and the Bone Duster, Wizards who cast Comma Motions at Frat Party Ragers to turn them into quiet board game nights with friends. Joshua H, Robert, CRSP, Idris Hill, Brent Lee C, Micah B, and Ploups, marriage counselors who specialize in casting understand emotion so that married adventurers can better understand each other.

Carly Ann, Laurie P, spam gaming, the not-so-skilled gamer, Connor Savage, Russell H, and Christopher J.O., the only adventurers fast enough to swap weapons without using an action, their weapons of choice, lead pipes. Logan S. Leviathan. Dimea. Bioquart 7. Kenny.

And Remington CD. Baylor of Jakes. Baylor Buds. After court, they head to the Baylor of Bar and talk trash about how they're way more honorable than those justices. Of course, they would never say this publicly, they have too much honor for that. Amber K. Everett P.

Trubb. Hopdropper Sidney T, The Element God, and Lindsay W. Fighters who have mastered the art of nine weapon fighting, it's like two weapon fighting, but you know, nine. Niko's DM hates it, but all these fighters can swap weapons with a bonus action. Champ Wilde, Valin, Sprite Pepsi, Carlin C, Inthony S, and Sally S. Windmakers whose wine is the stainiest vintage around, it doesn't taste great, but that's okay because the purpose of their grape is for it to stain the carpets of your enemy super deep, they're absolutely rich off it. Tristan C. The Goose, Jake, Emily S, the new petty king of Outerboro CC and Matthew J,

Evil Lou Beggah's backup band, they know a ton of songs, but the villainous Begga won't allow them to play anything, but Mamba No. 5. Tristan C would absolutely kill to play Mamba No. 6 or 7 just once, but no. Scriptsrippers, A&C, Michael S. the Bone Duster, Noah and Wyatt B. Owners of a Harvey Dent style, two-sided, headscoyne that they use for desk saving throws, their DM has no idea and just feels like the party is invincible, so shhh. A still, Rogue Cree.

Daniel N. Baroness, Swaystens, Romance, Partner from the Baronies. Mr. Dude Sky. Owners of 5 Horses. After hearing about Stephen H's case, they immediately went to a notary with an owner's agreement that each horse is owned in full by one member of the party, insanely you have to specify but good on you. Conflicted DM, Justin LB, Conor P, Dandy, Jennifer R, and Clifton A, Supreme Crit, Robemakers who thought they had made a perfect one-size-fits-all robe until they saw

bail of Jake. Briefly, Don, Justice Axford's and immediately had to return to the textile shop to outfit a new robe with five-way stretch performance fabric. Reverend Chatterbones, Richard G, M. Barber, Marcus P, Pupp Kalish, and learns the balanced druid. The team of lawyers who submit written arguments before each case is tried. They don't get enough credit, but they've actually been on the right side of every argument. Dakota JP, Pago Sv, Tracy P, Alzeon, a very big bed 91 and Tyler B, the makers of

an absolutely massive gavill that it takes each and every one of them to bang. It's a tough task, but when the court gets truly out of order, this big ass hammer is the only thing that can restore it. Sorry, Justice Tanner, but you are out of a job. That was a Hitgun podcast.