Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Dungeons, Doggos & DRAMA (w/ Aabria Iyengar)
Episode Date: October 14, 2022Welcome to Dungeon Court! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Guest Justice Aabria Iyengar (as well as the Freshly Effervescent Bailiff Axford) as they convene to pass judgement on your trials a...t the table.Get tickets to our upcoming Live Shows HERE! - https://www.naddpod.com/liveCREDITS:Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon.
Welcome to Dungeon Corks.
Dun dun!
Dun dun!
Dun dun!
We are your benevolent Supreme Crit Justices, Murphy, Axford, and I am Gar.
Woo! Ooh, I like getting extra. This is good for me. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for joining us, Ubria.
Unfortunately, Jake could not make it this month, but um...
But we have a wonderful backup bailiff in his stead.
And she will begin right now.
I actually did not introduce Coldwell.
I said, you as a Supreme Crit Justice, you're the bailiff this week.
Oh.
But we also have Justice Tanner.
Let's give it up for Justice Tanner.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I actually did not introduce cold well. I said you as a Supreme Crit Justice, you're the bailiff this week,
but we also have Justice Tanner.
Let's give it up for Justice.
Thank you, Steve.
Yeah, give it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
That's good.
Visual joke for the people at home
that they give a call to our journalist name.
Yeah, he stood up and looked at the camera.
Most people-
Most people listen at the camera. Most people-
Most people listen to the show.
You remember?
You're here in the soft rustling of cloth and be like,
that's actually pretty funny cloth.
I also feel like cloth.
Caution, it wasn't a joke.
He just stood up.
I got to stood up like a monster in a horror movie
like slowly moving towards camera.
Just slowly and awkwardly.
And this is coming out in October.
So what happens after you watch this?
I will be in your closet.
I'm gonna be in your closet.
Unless you delete this YouTube video, I will be in your closet.
Anyway, good Lord.
Send this to your friend to curse them with love. You're gonna wonder what's up.
Yes.
On the new ring girl.
Aw.
What an honor to be cast.
She's me at the bottom of well being like, hey.
All right, him.
Take it away.
Here, ye, here, ye.
Crit is now in session.
The honorable supreme, Crit justices Murphy, Iangar, and Tanner, presiding along with your backup, Bay ye, crit is now in session. The honorable supreme crit, Justice's Murphy,
Iangar, and Tanner presiding along with your backup
bail of Emily.
Our first case comes from Ben.
Thanks, Ben.
Yeah.
Ben writes, may it please inscrutable
justices and the effervescent bail of Emily?
I bring to you the case of the food order
that ended a campaign.
Whoa! Oh my god!
Back when 5E was still quite new, my friend wanted to take over my usual role as DM and move
us from 4E to 5E. I was delighted by this as I wanted to take a little break from DMing.
However, this led to a few issues. The main issue happened about three sessions in.
To the DM's credit, the session was weird.
Two new players joined just for that session.
Someone was late and someone's brother came just to watch.
That's a great, I-
A spectator.
We have to finish.
It seems like you have more, but this is a bad situation
because clearly that brother was in town for a visit.
That's my read on this.
It was just dragged to the end. And's my read on this. Oh, I always just dragged to get a dinner.
And they did not mention the fact that they were going to be at like a four hour event.
The brother needed to leave early.
So the player, Jami, offered to take the brother home and get a food order for everyone
at the table.
When they left, the DM ran an encounter while we were waiting.
I was chaos on the first round before even getting to take a move
and waited for the food to arrive.
The combat ended after a bit
and Jamie got back with the food all ends well.
Until after the session, the DM messaged the group
and told everyone how much XP they got for the encounter
and said, Jamie got zero as his character wasn't there.
Even I got XP and all I did was lie on the floor,
bleeding out.
Jerry, you're gonna be crazy!
Jerry, he was scaring foos in real life
and should still get the XP, the argument ended,
the campaign, and I've never used the XP since.
Mighty Justice is, who was the asshole?
I throw my friends at your mercy
and I'm ready to enforce any punishments you may give.
Amazing.
What on earth?
Likely.
Number one, this is like, there's precedent for this.
They've solved this in Pokemon.
You get XP all.
You equip it.
Everyone's getting XP even if they fight or not.
That's gonna fly here.
Wow, that Pokemon precedent.
The Pokemon precedent shows its ugly head yet again.
Always arguing.
It's ugly head.
Also, like, IRL acts of service get more hot even ever.
But you actually helped my human body.
You can have mom.
I'm just picturing like Gandalf showing up
at the Battle of Minnes Tirith
and he's just got like Taco Bell in his hand.
It's great.
That's so good.
I'm so excited to see him.
He got crunch reps.
I haven't seen that movie.
So with my brain, that's what happens.
Just picture a key in a challenge.
Bringing you crunch wraps.
That's a good.
I didn't need a moment.
Yeah.
Take a moment.
I brought you two tights.
I did not know what spice level you prefer.
It does make you wonder if Gandalf got XP for all the fights
that he wasn't in and
He was already too high a level. Yeah, I think he was like the the enemies were too low level
And he wasn't getting XP by being with that group. Yeah, I do some like and yeah stuff by himself
It's like when Luffy has to like eat a big meal because he's too powerful
And then he like the other guys and one piece to do some stuff. So like, Luffy like eats too much and is like, oh, ate too much food and then he fights at the end.
You're giving anime failures. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I've been reading a lot of one piece and it's just bleeding out of my mouth.
Please continue.
So, did Jamie also, was it Jamie's brother that was there?
It's unclear. I believe it possibly was Jamie's brother or Jamie could have been just
But Jamie also just Jamie's just solid all around
Jamie's taking the brother home
Getting everybody food when when I heard lunch
I heard like food order that ended the campaign. I was like
Someone really went out of their way to pitch something. Yeah, everyone
to pitch something. Yeah, I got everyone food poisoning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just everyone got horrible diarrhea and got sick and they didn't want to be friends anymore.
That's how I thought this was going to end.
If Jamie got everyone food poisoning, then I could see how this would happen.
But Jamie's just solid.
Yeah.
We love Jamie here.
Just super, super solid.
We're sticking with Jamie.
Jamie deserves it.
Okay, so are we siding with jammy and Ben?
Ben was another player who thinks that jammy was wronged.
Are we siding with jammy and Ben?
Or are we sent in serious DMs?
Obviously we tell people to like keep it brief,
but I'm kind of curious how you didn't do that.
Well, how this didn't escalate into a huge fight
where everyone's just screaming at the DM.
You know what I mean?
How there was any divide other than just doing that.
Because there was a text message after, right?
So all in a while they get their food,
they go home the DM text and say,
hey, by the way, Jimmy, what's your name?
I was sent to everyone, I was sent to everyone.
DM, are you crazy?
Yeah, I think that's what happened.
I mean, that's what happened.
Yeah, so like every time that's book,
any gift from a jam, DM when I quit. As long as everyone had jam back, I think that's what happened. I think that's what happened. Yeah, so like everything went to DM that's book while.
Yeah, and the DM when I quit.
As long as everyone had jammed back,
then I'm on everyone's side except for the DM side.
Okay, so we have a sentence.
Raise your hand.
Although do you guys fuck with XP?
I hate that shit.
Yeah, I'm not really.
No, we do it all like well.
So they still talk about that.
I'm like, I am a novel, T-Bitch.
I'm like, I kinda want my players to have new abilities
Yeah, yeah, it's tough to sit there and
New things are played
We want them new stuff to do every session
Yeah, you get to put like for a home game crazy like once or twice a month maybe some people
Some people are living that once a week life couldn't be me
Me and a home game? You can be me?
No.
God save it.
So yeah, we're team jammy of course.
Yeah, team jammy, this is it.
I tried to find a couple of bad DM cases.
And this is a very bad DM.
Yeah, no, this is bad.
This is a bad person.
Yeah, a little naughty DM.
Do we want to do a devil set said kids if we can defend the DM who
Okay, okay, yeah DMs advocate. Yeah, okay, so how do we how do we spin this? I okay
Two people at the table are brand new players. You have no guarantee they will be back or any sense that they'll be consistent players
So you have brother you have one brother,
but you have XP. So if that person takes time or those two people get time, need time to
get bought in, they don't have to show up every week. Like, here's your XP. The next time
you show up, we'll be somewhere else and that's okay. Play at your pace. You no longer
have the pressure to show up every week because you're not bought in yet. That is such a generous read. Here's my, here's my less generous read.
Jammy's brother was the one who came to spectate.
Yeah, and it was kind of ruining the vibe.
But it was like,
Jammy just go to your foot.
Go get a drink.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
So you know what?
You don't get it, you speak.
Yeah.
It's not about the food.
It's about bringing your brother.
What was Jammy's brother doing that was wrecking the vibe so bad?
Just like...
On the phone and then yelling a question.
Just like loudly playing TikToks.
This is early 5D days.
Lovely playing videos.
Just laughing really loudly and not showing up.
Just laughing with like a pooping stick really loudly.
Those housey indoors. My two dolls are great. I was just playing with a hoop and stick really loud. I mean, I'm in the same room. Those Halsey and Darius.
My table's like, right.
My table's like, right.
Somebody is spectating while you're having
like a quasi-serious scene.
And just somebody who's like kind of a jock
or something would be so intimidating.
I'm just having somebody there just be like, okay.
I'm just like, dad, I'm gonna kill the next elementary who killed you.
And then two guys just like,
all right, for a good, good, quick.
Horrified, yeah.
I would get a new high.
I would stop, yeah.
I would be fully done.
Get that brother out of here.
Get that brother out of here.
But no, we,
I think it's one person is the worst thing I can imagine.
Like, just so-
It doesn't matter.
Everyone's playing to Jamie's brother.
Yeah, like after every thing they say, they look.
So I put my fingers up his nose until he suffocates.
Until he freaking pops.
All right, don't.
Very good.
Would you, Ronald, but't worry. Very good.
Ronald, what do you think?
Ronald.
Ronald, you know.
You're not doing it seriously, Ron.
Okay, so we have to send you someone.
We are on Jammyside.
Yeah.
Because this was just, we're on Jammyside.
We're on Jammyside.
Of course, on Jammyside.
Just the DM have to just open a restaurant and then just deliver food to all DMs such as.
Oh, that makes sense.
Oh, that's a little kitchen.
They have to open a ghost kitchen, just for D&D group.
That's right.
With a little like cart, it's like a little food truck.
Oh, it's a cute drive-in restaurant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Because apparently players can't go and get you food, so they need to stay in their
games to get XP.
By your rules, my friends. No one's getting XP and get you food. Yeah. Yeah. They need to stay in their games to get XP. By your rules, my friends.
No one's getting XP and eating.
Yes.
So you have to dump your savings into getting a food truck
and not making any money off of you.
Yeah.
A pro bono food truck.
It's been so much.
Unfortunately, the end.
It's a friendly ghost kitchen, I guess.
It's like a Casper situation.
Yeah.
All right, so ordered.
Is that what you usually say?
Yes, so ordered.
Okay.
Yeah, next up we have Helen K.
Helen K. writes, may it please the two hot
to handle justices of the court
and the on par with Baylif John, Baylif Emily?
I present to you an issue with my player, Silent Wind.
Is this a... no.
No.
Okay.
I know what you're thinking.
No.
It's not.
Okay.
I am DM-ing.
And my group was sneaking through Cannibal Castle.
The Ranger used Wind Wall to prevent two guards
that noticed them from raising the alarm.
And I asked her, is she sure about this and wanted to go through with it?
I said that she managed to stop the guards, but extremely loud wind alerted everyone else in the castle to their presence.
They argued with me saying that the wind should be silent, and I told them that high winds are super loud,
especially winds that are strong enough to physically damage you. They shot back saying it is magic wind.
So just chill, bro. We eventually managed to come to a compromise on an arcana check from the
ranger which they passed. Judges was it right to acquiesce to their argument or should my players
have been the cannibal king's lunch? Should have been the lunch. Should have been the lunch.
You think you're going to magical winds making noise? Not unless you do something else to like,
yeah, all five of them.
Yeah, but bring your tie-links.
You're not tosses out trace.
If you say I cast tosses out trace on this win.
But also if you, if someone in your party has silence,
you do this win.
Thank you.
I feel like for two of you to call it a day.
I love silence as a spell.
It's so good.
It really gets underutilized
and yet it's also sometimes difficult to utilize.
So, you know, goes both ways.
Yeah, I also think that the way it ended up was good too.
Because I know like, Brennan does that too.
It'll be like, if you want to use a spell in like a slightly different way,
then is written.
You do an arcana check to like cast it especially well.
Or like the size way you want to do it, that's cool.
But it's also, any time the DM says,
are you sure you want to do that?
You say yes.
They said it didn't mean to accept the consequences.
So yeah, so they were wrong fully.
You gave them, you like,
win above and beyond to accommodate them.
But yeah, as any time somebody says something crazy
and you go, do you really want to be crazy right now?
It's also really.
And they say yes, I do. It's also really. And they say, yes I do.
It's also really funny to picture just this huge,
like, torrential win.
It's just like, yeah, it's silent.
Yeah.
Everyone's just like, right.
I don't know.
You would hear the people screaming
as their bones were crushed by wind.
Like, you know, man.
Yeah, just that.
I think you should be able to put,
you should be able to roll an insight check on the DM
when they say that to you.
Yeah.
I say, are you sure you're like, hold on,
what am I not thinking about?
Oh, that wind is loud, fuck.
I think that DMs are too nice,
and they should not say, are you sure about that?
They should say, are you sure about that?
You fucking idiot.
Yeah.
That would be a little more clear.
Do you want to die today? Yeah. Oh, I little more. Do you want to die today?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you looking to die today?
Do you wish for Death Stranger?
We're going to look together.
We're sorry about that.
How did you go get some food?
Oh, no.
My ex-peed.
My ex-peed.
My ex-peed.
It's good. Oh, showing up with a tray of hot dogs as everyone's leveling up.
Oh, did we get another level?
Not me?
Shit.
I would have spiked all the food on the ground.
Get on here.
What's the funniest food to spiked?
I think hot dogs is pretty close, but I feel like there's something better to sp, like a cake, a full cake. You're saying like throw on the ground,
not like put drugs into it.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Just specify.
Hey, bro.
We were doing a gesture.
Everyone in the podcast could hear.
I'm a hold up.
It's like this.
Yeah, cake.
Awesome.
Thank you.
So, please.
I'm so excited.
It's physical joke.
It's a bomb.
Okay, so we are sentencing the players than in this.
I feel okay.
I want to walk back now.
I feel bad because I'm also a GM that's like, okay, I'll allow it.
Yeah, yeah, cuties.
But I think overall we are, we're on the DM side no matter what because the players were
crazy for arguing, but then also the DM came up with a nice way.
Yeah, I think you handled it perfectly, 100%.
But maybe the thing we can rule on is, is this magical wind spell loud or not?
Definitely loud.
It's definitely so loud.
Because if it does say anything, because yeah, I was going to say that it's crazy to
argue like, because it's magic, it wouldn't make noise, because like, I don't know if you're gonna make an argument
that it's like harmless or something,
then what's the point of casting the spell?
If it's just like a light breeze or something,
then it's not a wall of wind anymore.
I'm real stupid, but I do know enough science to know
that like when you do that much wind,
it causes like friction against the molecules in the air,
and like the friction produces noise.
So like I think about the molecules.
You just said I'm stupid and then said more.
And it says so much science. That's right.
Yeah, it is so much. I don't know anything about science but science, science, science.
All right, here's the thing. When you prep this it by saying I'm stupid. If you're wrong, it doesn't count.
Right. You're giving me that. Yeah.
Yeah. It's an alloy.
Exactly. It's a real Three paragraphs on the page are all being like,
I can't believe you.
Molecules are frictionless because.
Shit.
Well, you fooled me.
I already did science.
I heard about friction and I was just gay.
I was on board.
It's enough for you.
So we need to sentence someone
because this court means nothing if we do. It's enough for you. Okay, so we need to sentence someone because this court means nothing.
Yeah, so okay, so on the DM side because the players were quite ridiculous here.
A bit silly. And you want to, you went above and beyond for them.
Something wind related perhaps.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, you know what would be actually, oh, we know this.
Sometimes I think of like nice things.
Well, we can do something nice to the DM.
We can do a nice thing for the DM we can't do.
Okay, like, the players have to drive into a tornado.
Yeah, players have to drive into a tornado.
Wind is just nice in here, right?
Yeah, there are a bunch of those ping pong balls
from that tornado.
From Twister, yeah, I'm just saying.
We've all been thinking about Twister the whole time.
We've been trying to drop it
and you did it, I'm so proud of you.
Thank you, thank you.
I'm pretty sure I've seen Twister wind is loud.
That's like, no, they have to watch Twister twice.
Yeah, Twister by the way.
I'm sitting.
I'm sitting.
I'm sitting.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh.
And then I think for the DM, we give them a little spot day,
that's like all wind, right?
Oh, that's kind of like a wind bath.
A hairstyle by the wind.
Sort of like, is it a wind bat?
A hairstyle?
I was like, I'm gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that.
You're not gonna do that. You're not gonna do that. You're not gonna do that. You're not gonna do that. doing it not a person blowing, but if that's what you want, then I also will do that.
Okay, I give the DM like a little Beyonce fan.
Okay.
So whenever they're doing there it is.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Okay, so that's really good.
So your players have to watch Twister twice and you get a little fan that during intense moments you can turn on.
Yeah.
Yeah, and we're gonna give you a little PA that will like wave a big piece of iron that's gonna make like a thunder noise.
Wow.
Okay, I love it.
Okay.
And you can watch Twister as many times as you want.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just a little time.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year.
Twice a year. Twice a year. Twice a year. Twice a year. Twice a year. To the effort for some reason a lot of people said effervescent and I'm feeling it's good Yeah, I'm more respectful to you than ever to James
There were some people who are mean and I have to be honest. I loved it too
So the effervescent baylor family and pretty great justices. I bring to you the case of the dog on camera
We play online and a few of our players have dogs occasionally players will turn on their camera to show what their dogs are doing.
I'm not a dog person and do not understand
the fascination myself.
So the others like it.
I, okay, a lot of other,
a lot of people are gonna turn against this person right away.
Yeah, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say it's a very
bitter cat person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because people hate cats so much and feel the need.
I do have resentment for dogs.
Interesting, okay. But you say, it's a phrase that need. I do have resentment for dogs. Interesting.
Sure.
To phrase it, I'm not a dog person.
I don't quite understand what these organisms are up to.
Yeah, even just that quote that I said,
I have resentment for dogs.
I feel uncomfortable, say.
Yeah.
Some of the things that people that they say later
will maybe tickle you guys in a way
that you understand where those person coming from.
I'm on, I'm on, I'm on you inside right now.
We have a player who isn't very invested in the role playing part of D&D.
He will often keep himself muted while the others are holding scenes,
unless his dog is in the room, in which case he will switch on the camera
to show his very vocal dog and turn on his mic so he,
so we can hear the adorable, puffer making noises, playing with us.
Yeah, there's a couple words in here.
Yeah, one that you know is coming.
Last session, we had a scene where one character was begging their brother not to throw their
life away in a doomed attempt to protect a town of Mike and his from a demon prince.
This player saw his dog turned on the camera and his mic
and let his dog cry and whine into it,
drowning out the entire scene.
While I wanted to have him harshly server-muted,
other players in the group say,
it's a cute doggo,
and but the pupper wants to play with us.
I'm not a kid,
so can't rule no dogs at the table myself.
Do I have a like this, Dan and if I insist no dogs
at the virtual table?
You are.
I'm like this is good.
This is good.
It's so polarizing.
It's so nice.
People who are dog people then hear proper and doggo
and are like, wait, but I'm not that.
You can feel the dog people on this half.
You need to embrace the feel.
These people are annoying.
I just got for you.
These people are so annoying.
My God, that's so annoying.
You're heckin' adorable, puppo.
Oh God.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. He's supposed to. No. a door of a pogo. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
He's supposed to.
No.
We know where I stand.
I just, there's a time and a place for your hecking
screw.
I'm not going to leave over the table.
You got to attack him.
I want to.
I want to.
You're doing visual joke,
you're doing it.
No, I described it.
God damn it.
Show not hell.
Look, it's airtight.
Tell me that show.
What the fuck, guys?
I've got nothing.
God, this is so funny.
Right, it's a ride.
It's funny, because you're in any possible position.
You have to ban dogs at the table.
You just have to do what?
So wild to sell.
Are born to change the world for the fact.
And they don't get to live in that good world
because he's going to die.
Yeah.
He would be martyred at that.
You unfortunately need to be like no dog.
You live in interesting times.
No dog is just to get guys just stop saying pupper and dog.
Exactly.
One, it's a dog.
This is also, I'm gonna give a good old fashioned
merfruling, you be two friends.
Yes, we got it.
We got it.
We got it.
Oh, God.
I would say, if had this not escalated to pupper and stuff,
this one, what was the person's name before before that was the next person was a jammy
jammy okay
Having a serious scene of
Bleeding with your brother about something please we cannot face the
And then somebody's just like
And then somebody's just like look at my nose. Yeah, beyond the obvious like a annoying language.
Beyond doggo and copper.
It would be a little disappointing too.
It would be a little intense to just have a dog whining in the background.
Hey guys chicken salads on camera now.
Stop the cat name and you know.
Eating your microwave.
Yeah, like.
What people just fell asleep all day.
Like, listen, it's snoring a little bit.
Okay.
So how does this person navigate the situation?
Well, we have to, I mean, this is a car.
We have to send in someone.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Of course, he sends's the dog with people.
Yeah, the dog person is bad.
The thing was, do I have a leg to stand on?
If I insist no dogs at the virtual table,
I don't know that you do.
If you're at a table, if you're at a virtual table
where everyone's excited about the dogs,
I don't think that you can insist that.
You can be like, specifically,
they mentioned that instance of somebody doing a role play
session and then like focused on the dog
I think you could say like no more stuff like that. Yeah, I think you know dogs during role
I think you are absolutely correct, and I think it would be very funny for you to just say don't show your dog sever
Dog band that's very funny villain behavior
Fortunately the world is just not made for people like us.
People have gotten mad at you.
But is there a way where you can just be like, hey, could you like, like,
get the dog or like, you cool it or just mute yourself real quick?
You know, sounds bad, it all sounds bad to say. I don't know.
I think you can say like, no dogs on the mic.
Like, you can turn on the camera to show your dog. But say like no dogs on the mic like Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna show you dog
But like no dog is like
Yeah, but even if you're just dog can you just a dog chasing its tail on video while you're like doing a scene where I would be so
Distracted by that I have to be honest. I would not be I would just be watching the dog
Yeah, like that's when you put a little post a note over the like bad frame. There you go
And you keep moving on like if you know there's a person that's gonna constantly
do that, you're like, moving on.
And now I'm gonna cry about my brother, dad, something.
I'm sorry, I was just gonna try and never regret
about just that.
Yeah, I think you have grounds to be like,
hey, can we have maybe like,
maybe like dog meeting time up top.
Like let's all talk about it.
We have, but the point is the dog is
doing something like that.
I like that.
I can cute right now.
You know what I'm about to say?
I like that.
It did like it.
We were so young.
It made me ill.
Yeah.
Okay.
So who are we sent to?
Yeah.
We're sent to the players.
Yeah.
And how are we sent to the players?
Yeah.
They have to let their dogs go.
Oh, they have to leave them in a park. Yeah, they have to let their dogs go. They have to leave them in a party. Yeah, they
have to leave their dog babysitter. Yeah, that's good. And they can watch all the screen
on their phone, what their dog is doing. But they can't force everyone to do it. Yeah,
there you go. You got to shell out for one of those fan dog hotels where they all get to go on the swimming pool.
Exactly.
And it's so fancy that they have like four golden retrievers on staff just to like pad the numbers a little bit.
It's like being a little bit sad.
Yeah, you talk about this movie so much.
I've heard about that movie in like two days.
It's heart-wrenching.
Yeah, and I was always talking about babes.
What?
Crazy. Okay. So how do we oh so easy? It's hard to judge. Yeah, and I was always talking about babes. You were talking about things.
Crazy.
Okay.
So, oh, so how do we, oh so easy?
Yeah, so they got to put their dogs up in a dog hotel
while they play.
And I'll see you at the send 35 American dollars to cat person.
Just a cat person?
Just a cat person.
I thought you were playing a charity.
You're like, no, just a person, just a cat person.
Just a few, and then I have to find me.
That is in the field of all.
And then I'm zel.
You also have to write four postcards from your dog's perspective from the hotel.
And that was I'd read it.
Burned.
And I missed it the hotel.
Okay.
So ordered.
Next up, we have, oh, this is actually, we're doing a little, I got a couple good dice
craze confessions, so we're going to do a mid-session-cris confession, so we're gonna do a mid-session confession.
Oh, wow.
It's such a confession.
Confession.
HISTY says.
This is like when you go to church on Wednesday.
Well, I feel like we're off.
We've really, really crashed.
Is your match-wimps the already?
Yes, match-wimps that.
We got it all.
The only time I ever did that, I went to a Lutheran school.
I got a really bad reaction.
I had a rash of a cross of my four-aid.
Oh, no.
And kids told me I was possessed by a demon.
Oh my god.
Which is cool for a third grader to hear you're like,
I am.
I am.
No, it's a rye.
It's a rye.
So it's actually really itchy, though, guys.
OK, so Hans, do you write?
To the clergy of dice, Christ, I come to you with a confession today.
My wife and I had a beautiful wedding back in July
and we demonstrated our unity
by rolling two dice down our dice tower.
The efficient-
She's the one roll of one during there.
You did it, you did it.
The efficient explains to the wedding attendees
that we love playing dungeons and dragons
and that the D20 was used frequently in the game.
A 20 was pretty much a guarantee for success
and a one could lead to failure
and difficult roads ahead.
We went ahead and rolled our dice
and I ended up rolling a natural one.
Yes!
The efficient announced excitedly
that I had rolled a 20,
which he said he would do regardless of the number.
My wife rolled after me and actually got a natural 20, which ended with all of us legitimately
being excited and incredibly surprised.
The attendees cheered and seemed to love this unity ceremony.
The efficient explained how amazing this was and that the statistics of actually getting
to Nat 20s was pretty rare. At the reception, our attendees kept saying how amazing this was and asking if our dice
were weighted.
So to the clergy of dice craze, we ask you if dice craze would truly be offended by the
small fibbage on the beautiful wedding day of 2D and D nerds or if dice craze would
bless the ceremony and the newlyweds regardless, we patiently await your grace or judgment.
So we all think divorce, right?
Out of doubt, yeah.
This is over in a couple of weeks.
Yeah, it's pretty out of doubt.
Yeah, I think that that's how it's handled.
And it's his fault, yeah, yeah.
So what do you mean your fault?
You began your relationship with a lot.
Yeah, I would be mad if I was the other partner
and rolled okay
Dice Christ has already had some cheeky little fun with you
Giving you the net 20 after you already lied about the
That was like that was almost like in fish like, like kind of like, I see you.
Yeah.
Here's the not 20 that you just said you got.
Ooh, like, explain this, explain this away.
I'm wondering why.
It's really funny to me to leave this on us telling you
to get divorced, so yeah, you have to get divorced.
You can get remarried after, but you have to get divorced.
Yeah, you have to do what you like. Like, you have to renew your spouse. Yeah, yeah but you have to do what those like,
like you have to renew your vows.
Yeah, yeah, you have to renew them.
Oh, that's smart, yeah.
For like four months, you have to renew them now.
Yeah, that's right.
At the time of this, renew your vows.
Yes.
And if either of you get to not one, you have to, you own it,
and you say for better or for worse, it's in the vows.
Yeah, you say you're a vows. You have to find a registered DM and role in for better or for worse. It's in the mouth. Yeah
Yeah, you have to find a registered DM and roll in front of
In front of the table to renew tables. I'm gonna go to the notary public
Yeah, if it being your wedding and part that made me want to choose this.
It's like someone just like so good.
You spend your entire, you,
honestly, you did your penance, which is you spent
your entire reception, IE, IE, IE.
Yeah, yeah, just over and over again.
Way more than you ever.
You're statistically rare, statistically so rare.
You've gone through way more than you should have had to.
You like to an amount of people who don't care about the truth.
That's the hard part.
And her aunt is there.
She doesn't care about it.
She doesn't have the loss of her.
The efficient is so slick for like keeping it going, just being like seeing that second
that 20, just keeping its stone face and just being like, that's really statistically rare.
So I was just gonna keep it a good,
that's awesome.
Yeah.
Is like quietly throwing a grenade in by digging the heels
so deep by being like, I would have done it.
Another not 20.
Statistically so rare.
Truly, this day is blessed.
Well, you sit there and know it's a fucking lie.
That's a funny lie.
And that's why you have to have a dice camera at your wedding.
Yes, a dice camera and also luck points.
Oh, luck points.
Oh, okay.
Explain to your entire family what luck points are.
That's very funny.
You're like actually I have halfling luck.
You're like, you're 5'8", Ted, where you live?
If everyone looks under your chairs and we'll see
a player's handbook, open the feed
page, just super tense.
I can't control it.
We'll just say you got a mat 20.
I can't control it.
You are absolved.
Your ceremony was already ruined.
Your reception was at least complicated.
I had my two had super time.
Okay, next up from Trevor W. This is back to D&D court cases.
It was just a mid-session.
Oh, you want another confession because I can do it.
Holy shit.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Okay.
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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show.
Dear honorable judges and hemp milk drinking bay leaf Emily I had a DM who ran
It's a oh okay, you know what it's been a while since we talked about
Let a real no I think I want to take on the hemp milk song
So a lot of time ago Emily had used to have a song about about
hemp milk. She used to make her own hemp milk and she would sing a hemp milk song to me.
The listeners know about this because it was so crazy because it was a call and response
song. Yeah. But she would so, so, so, give me the give us the song please
so What I so it's like give me a hand
You got your hand you got you milk so he's so the response is him saying milk
So what would you say you'll be like you yell milk, right?
Yeah, this is great. It's a great D-core.
We can get it.
Here we go.
Fine.
It's just a ruling.
New list.
It's also here.
It's extremely worth mentioning that to make hemp milk,
you have to repeatedly whack hemp with a bag.
You have a bag.
Yeah, you're all the hemp seeds.
I am a nut milk bag.
I get you.
Yeah, yeah.
Because with people at home, maybe you're all the milk milk. I don't even call for me. I get you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which is why I think California.
I think I'm curious, which is why you need a nice
calling response.
You need a song.
But it's not a call in response, because you're telling me.
Oh, I know.
So let's do called for a different response.
Well, I like to be defied.
OK.
Emily, I have a bag here.
It's very good.
That's OK.
What do you? OK, so you're going to make milk from here. Just if you need a milk. That's okay. What do you?
Okay, so you're gonna make milk from your...
Just if you need a milk.
It's a dismal.
So let's hear it for a beer steak.
Let's hear Merch's version.
Okay.
Give me a hand.
Hand.
Hand.
You could just break the different side.
You know what?
I'm not thirsty anymore.
Oh my god.
Honestly, that was so damning. I'm bound on your side.
And then your version of the song?
Give me a hand.
Milk.
You got your milk.
You get excited when you hear milk is the thing.
I've always wanted the ill milk as well as I can.
Okay, then let's get back to TrevorW.
I'm gonna read it from the start again so we can hear it again.
Zero Wonderful Judges and Hemmilk Drinking, Baylif Emily.
Now you have a real context for that.
It's good.
I had a DM who ran two different groups.
We always joked about who the crazier party was and who would win in a 4v4 level 10
PVP until finally it was set to happen.
We all made characters picked magic items each team was given to uncommon and talked strategy
for a whole week until the day before someone asked if two bags of holding within each other
was allowed in the context of our one shot.
The DM said yes which launched some players into fits of complaints and others started trying to figure out
how to use this loophole to astral nuke the other team away
with no way of returning ultimately.
The controversy ended up causing the cancellation
of the PVP and the disbandment of both groups.
I asked you where the player's right to be upset
would you allow the bag nuke?
How does the bag new work?
I don't know.
You put it.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Not at all.
I'm maybe a listen.
I'm an idiot.
I don't know how science works.
I'm going to be a science teacher.
I'm going to be a teacher.
Too bad again.
Having against a show.
Yeah.
So the rule for bags of holding, uh, and similarly, like, have, have
or sacks is you can't put another one inside it or it just sort of like.
They divide against themselves and explode and everything everything gets blasted to the Astral's Astral Sea
So it's one of those little like yeah everyone has that like who if I drop one in
T world so essentially yeah you throw okay. Yeah, this just seems like a bunch of the players are like
We read all the book. It's also weird though,
because it's about the players versus the other players
and not the characters.
And that's kind of freaking me out.
Yeah.
I say, a role new characters for this PV,
like the PVP.
So I feel like they were taking this very, very personal.
Yeah, I think it's also,
I think it's also like you're taking away the fun
of PVP with a nuke because it, then there's no fight. Why even build characters? Yeah, exactly think it's also, I think it's also like, you're taking away the fun of PVP with a nuke because then there's no fight.
Why even build characters?
Yeah, exactly.
If you just, and it's also like,
you're setting this up basically like a sport match.
And like sports matches have rules.
Like, you know, that would be illegal.
You can't bring like,
you can't just have like,
Ezekiel Elliott show up to the stadium with a nuke.
Yeah.
I guess the Cowboys won.
Wow.
It's the only one that detonated it so.
Yeah.
It showed up with that football.
The nuclear football.
That was good.
You brought it back to the thing in the world.
Now everyone knows.
Yeah, I feel like, I mean, I guess the DM probably should have
squashed this as soon as it started to get heated.
Yeah, this person kind of ends with, would you allow the
bag new?
And I think it would be fine to be like, I don't think that's
going to be the most interesting PPP.
Yeah, does it say how far the bag new explodes?
Like is there, is it just like?
I think there is.
I think it's very specifically like written in like
interesting.
Because if it was just like that.
It's just like in a hack.
You know, normal attack range, I might allow it
because it's just like, yeah, if it's an uncommon item
or whatever, I could see people getting a creative with it.
I think you have to, if you want this,
you have to factor it into the game. You have to have each player's team
has one bag of holding.
So then there's like the up to steal.
And to create the nuke, but like,
you have to steal their bag.
Oh, that's fun, because that was capture the bag.
Whoa!
Okay, now let's go on some mid game better.
Do you know?
I still think though that that's its own game, right?
Yeah, that's still not PVP.
I think it's a limit your item selection to like one,
uncommon level like weapon.
Yeah.
So if you're a caster, you get one thing
that can boost your casting.
Yeah.
For a male fighter, you get one thing.
Like, because then all you're doing,
if you get to pick two magic items,
is trying to pick the cheekiest combination.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, that's a good one.
You leave some items on.
I've got a little bit of an interesting thing here.
Okay, so if the bag is overloaded,
pierce your torn, it ruptures and is destroyed,
and its contents are scattered in the astral plane.
The bag is turned inside out, blah, blah, blah,
placing a bag of holding inside an extra dimensional,
extra dimensional space created by a handy,
have or sack, portable hole or similar item,
instantly destroys both items.
So in this case, two bags of holding, and opens a gate to the astral plane.
The gate originates where the one item was placed inside the other, and he creatures within
10 feet of the gate is sucked through it to a random location on the astral plane.
Then the gate closes.
The gate is one way only and can't be reopened.
So this is a really good blue web.
Yeah, this is just a. Yeah, this is just. Yeah. I feel like I mean, you could suck someone out of the game,
but you wouldn't think based on player formation. Something blows up. Ah, this is some like
baron scene bears bullshit. And then that effect because I could have sworn it blew up.
I think that I wonder if just like the visual that would be described by it sounds like it's an explosion.
No, I think it's that it gets sucked into that.
It gets sucked into that.
So it is like, to the black hole.
Yeah, so it is like a black hole.
So it is like kind of an excuse.
It's like you win by the absence of them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think it in this.
This doesn't even feel like besting someone really.
It might feel like a shallow guy.
Right, yeah, it's just like, it's like having the Super Bowl,
but there's a large Hadron Collider on the field.
And like, maybe it's gonna open a wormhole,
you don't know.
That's fun.
It's kinda fun, it's bulky, it's gonna be bulky.
Serving needs to build a football field.
Well, I think it's kind of interesting
because they're allowed to have uncommon items.
It's an uncommon item.
If people decide that they want to take that,
I think it's a fun strategy, but also the person
who is gonna put the bag inside the other bag
is gonna get sucked in.
Almost certainly.
Well, certainly, unless they are gonna throw it
or something like that, and if you do that,
that's gonna require some kind of check
or something like that.
But even with Maychant, yeah,
Maychant has like 30 feet of distance
or something like that, so you could do it with a Maychant This is going to be like a black hole. You're going to have
people who are going to get sucked in and then they're not going to be able to play at all,
which seems against the spirit of the game. Yeah. Yeah. It's you should play the spirit
of the game and kill them and reduce the HP to zero. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way to prove
which group is the best. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, um, who are we? I guess we're going to, uh, sentence, the DM for not, for allowing it, right?
I'm going to be honest.
It doesn't sound that bad.
I mean, it's, it's very clever.
I think that the mistake was once this turned into fighting, the DMs just stepped in and
been like, all right, all right.
Let's, let's cut this, cut it, you know.
You don't need a bag of holding in a PVP fight.
Yeah, what other
stuff are you holding? I only gave you one other item. It's really only fun if it's something
that's there as like a surprise because then it's kind of funny. Like if we're playing
PVP right now and opening thing, a breath throws a bag at me and throws another bag at me
and I disappear. That's really funny.'s just like one thing, two common items,
and that's what it shows.
Yeah, I think that's, I don't know.
You have two attacks, and then our bolts
just throwing a bag.
Yeah, they both just throw a bag out.
Okay, who are we sentencing, anyone?
Yeah, I guess it's.
We're because it's like we're being asked
to make a specific ruling as opposed to what you would you allow that would you allow okay?
Sentence them to having to play this out with the one bag on each team rules. Yeah, yeah
Okay, capture the bag capture the bag
Play capture the bag even though none of your friends anymore
Repair your friendship with a contentious capture the bag.
Yes.
Okay, so ordered.
Now I have one that is like actual real life drama.
Whoa.
Okay.
You're telling us about this off mic.
It's juicy.
It's a little too juicy maybe.
It might be too juicy.
Would you like to hear it and decide?
Too much juice. If it's too juicy. Give it to us. Give it to us. It might be too juicy. Would you like to hear it and decide? Never had too much juice. If it's too juicy?
Give it to us.
Give it to us.
It's like real drama.
Real drama?
I wanna know.
CW level drama.
Who is that?
You can still in network, I don't know.
Who could say?
Some guy who likes chicken, right, Tim?
Gets more serious.
To the angelic justices and the impish bailiff,
I present a case of romance and treachery.
May it please the court.
Me and my long-term girlfriend
are currently playing in a campaign
with an old friend of mine as the DM.
My girlfriend's character is involved
in a passionate relationship with an NPC
played by the DM, and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable
during their role playing scenes.
I wouldn't mind except for two things.
Firstly, I've played D&D with my friend for about five years and he's never expressed
interest in role playing romance before as a player or as a DM, and he hasn't pursued
it with other characters in the campaign.
Secondly, a few months ago, my friend told me while drunk that he has feelings for my
girlfriend.
Oh.
He would never try anything, but not I should know.
At the time I told him it was okay,
he can't control his feelings after all,
but now it kind of seems like he is trying something.
I haven't spoken to my girlfriend about it.
For fear, I'm overreacting, but justices, I have to know.
Am I being a jealous, Jay?
You need a doctor, everyone.
Ah!
Ah! You need a doctor, you need to talk to everyone. Ah! Ah!
You need to talk to your girlfriend.
You need to talk to your girlfriend.
You need to talk to your girlfriend.
You gotta talk to your girlfriend.
You need to talk to your girlfriend.
You gotta talk to your girlfriend.
You need to talk to your girlfriend.
You need to talk to your girlfriend.
You have to go to therapy, you have to go to therapy.
We all gotta talk.
Talk to your male person.
Yeah, honestly, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And you were right.
This one's...
I love it.
I know, that's what I was like. I love it. This is fascinating. I would like to bring up the off-trend those.
This is some guy who likes chicken, the subniter submitted it.
So yeah, I think that there is.
Is that the DM mentioned having feelings?
Yeah, when I got to that, I was like,
Oh, oh, yeah.'s what I wanted to say. I was like, oh, oh.
Yeah, this is a wilding hour.
When it first started off, I was kind of like,
I could see, it's just like they might be overreacting,
but at the same time, it's like you shouldn't have to play
at a table with like, even if you're not involved
with anyone at the table, if two people are just like,
we're fucking and making out and everything.
And if you're like, I don't wanna be at that table, I don't wanna do that, you have the right to like, talk to their people and just like, we're fucking and making out and everything. And if you're like, I don't wanna be at that table,
I don't wanna do that.
You have the right to like talk to their people and be like,
hey, I don't know that I wanna go this deep into it.
Let alone like, you know, you're like,
romantically involved with the people at the table.
So it's a little weird.
That's the top of it.
The guy actually has feelings.
It's so bad.
Let me ask the question.
I'm hoping he's. Squeeze my legs. question. I can't make it.
Squeeze my legs.
The first half of this.
The first half of this is a regular D&D question.
Yeah.
And it is now it's really new.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I know a guy who likes chicken.
His name is Freaking Jughead.
I know a guy who likes chicken, and it's your fucking friend.
Yeah. You like chicken, so does your friend.
So does your DM.
But the girlfriend is just loving it, I think.
It's just like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
This is great.
This is really funny.
That's the question though.
When you're watching these scenes, do they have chemistry?
Is something working?
They do, but I will say,
as we are all performers,
I've had incredible chemistry with people
that I don't have feelings for.
I'm sure.
So that is not indicative, though it can be indicative,
but it's often not, but it can be.
We're living in a post,
a court of a and flower society.
I had NPCs in the bag of, I was like,
I'm gonna flirt with everyone at the same time.
So hard.
If they give me two looks, all right.
Well, here's what I'm gonna build for you
a time to romance.
I hate that.
I have a player who learned it with you.
Yes.
I love that.
It was good.
God, I love just pressing my piggy little nose
against the window of this case.
Yeah, I know.
That's what I wanted to say.
It's so messy.
Oh, it's so messy.
It's so messy.
Holy, but like someone in a sign and being like, just so you know, I love your girlfriend,
but I never do anything.
What?
I never do anything.
Not in this one.
You, you are much too tired. I never do anything but smoothie, the barkeep,
at the Fish and Ale tavern might.
And this is crazy.
I think you were even too nice to not get mad at your friends
like right off the bat.
You know what I mean?
Because to be like, oh, like you can't control your feelings.
It's like, you got a can though.
Yeah.
Or like you can be like a mature adult.
Like you don't have to question.
Question, question.
Do we suggest that maybe this person talk to the friend
before they talk to the girlfriend?
Because it might be the more respectful thing to the friend
and even like not having to wrap the girlfriend up in this
and be her feel weird.
It might be the thing to be like,
hey, remember that conversation we had
about you having feelings for my girlfriend
and also this super romantic thing?
What's going on?
I think it's just moody, being schmoody.
I think you go straight to the girlfriend
and you say saying everything.
Look, the moment the CM made their feelings,
that other person, like not chicken lover's problem.
Like, there's this is a weird, it's like,
I have to tell you.
You have to tell you.
You have to tell you.
Yeah, you can ask the lawyer.
You can ask the lawyer.
You can ask the lawyer.
You can ask the lawyer.
Totally. It's like, yeah, if you're, you can ask the lawyer, shut the fuck up.
Totally, yeah.
If you're not gonna do anything, I don't need to know.
If call, if call, if call, if call,
if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, call, if call, if call, if call, if call, call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call, if call That's not a good, you don't have to tell the truth. You don't have anything. You don't have to. You don't have to talk about that.
This is normal as saying to me, and I'm not going to do anything about, I need you to
be positive.
I need to die as well.
Exactly.
I need you to hold her this with me.
You're emotionally worried.
I'm not worried.
You're not worried.
I'm not worried.
I'm worried.
I'm worried.
I'm worried.
Yeah.
You can just keep it to yourself.
This is here.
But also everyone moves through stuff in their own time.
You don't have to bring other people into it. I have to bring another people into you don't have to bring other people into it.
I have a bad idea to if this DM, let's say this DM wasn't a crazy person and didn't go
confess to their friend that they're in love with their girlfriend or whatever.
Even if they didn't do that, but they had a crush on them.
So they're just trying to keep it whatever. For then, that DM to go and make traps for themselves
by having like romances with the person.
It's crazy.
Yes, DM want to be caught.
So nasty.
No.
Does he want to be caught?
And then it was like, you're taking too long to realize my love.
So I'm just going to tell you.
Oh my god. Yeah, you're right, there's no one to be caught.
They want to be caught.
It's a multiple sessions, too, right?
Like this is kind of like this is.
Normally when you're DMing, you have like a little like
period after the session where you're like,
how did that go?
Let me replay everything that happened.
Let me look at my notes.
It's like, we're all notes that it took.
And you're like, come on, I have so many hearts
around this one person's name.
That's a good memory of everyone else looking a little uncomfortable.
I launched into minute 35 of my scene.
Oh my god, I had a smarelda.
Or five.
I suggest you just blow all this up.
Just go tell your girlfriend.
Go to the girl friend.
Blow it up.
Also, I just truly feel like five years is not a close enough friendship.
Oh, you're right.
You literally like had a thing that would cause concern in any D&D game anyway and then followed
it up with this information and now you expect me expect me to have all of that and sit and watch that with the extra context
that you have.
You're not that good of friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because a good friend would pine away slowly and quietly, like they did in the olden days.
Right.
Yeah.
A little blouse on.
Yeah.
One little lock it.
On a rock.
Yeah.
You can have a little lock. Yeah. I was just like normalize a rock. Yeah. There's people in the middle.
You're normalized planning.
I'm not like quiet planning on it.
I'm quiet planning.
I also just heard you fools.
I also just heard you fools.
Really, really like almost the slow,
like I can't help but see this very filmic of like a person
with them on either side and just the slow, slow zoom
into their face as we hear this incredibly sexual
Romantic scene happening and just like just sitting there just with like a really forced smile
This is great roleplay guys. This is awesome
Deans put on like a real nice in-ya track in the background. I check for traps. Okay, oh wait
I hope you all get what you need.
Because this is real people.
This is real life.
And gosh, I hope you all can figure it out.
There is no, there is no need for how this goes after.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
I take, I'm like an update.
Blow it all up.
Blow it up.
Tell you what happened to me.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I think you have to,
because I'm like, he's all the, but also like, I think you have to I'm like he's only
You're also like I think first off if someone someone someone from this side was like I've been in love with normally this old time
I'd be like I'm done
I'm so twice
I was like I'm Priya please
It's a ring in your pocket
You can't do this to me
She likes you more you can can't do that at the time, it is huge.
Nothing but the best for my last forever.
Sorry, I can't do this.
If somebody said that to me, I'd be like,
dude, what the fuck is the matter with you?
And then I'd go, I'll go home and be like,
Emily, this guy is crazy.
He did the stupidest shit.
Can you believe this?
You're the stupid guy you are. You believe this? You're for a few points.
You got it.
You're doing that.
Like the fact that he's told you, you're totally right.
This is someone kind of being like, share this burden with me.
Yeah, for no reason.
You're being, you're being much too nice.
He had to talk to some people.
This would be like a true test.
Because if your friend can recover from this,
like if you blow this up and they're like,
you know what, I was wrong, that's fucked up.
I'm gonna back off and things are gonna be like better now and if they improve then yeah maybe that
maybe a lifelong friend yeah that's crazy there's just so many other people you're
just making sentence to give us a fucking update about yeah that's the said yeah my god you
guys just have to our sentence to having to deal with this unfortunately this is I'm so sorry
yeah this is not this is not on you at all.
That's a tough situation.
And now let's end it with a little,
one more little dice, Christ.
I need to be purified.
Yeah, is that nice little cleansing one?
Rebecca J writes, a dice, Christ confession
to the dice, the Christ, and the Holy Symbol.
A few years ago, I was invited to join a friend's D&D game. When we rolled initiative for our first encounter, the DM asked us to
roll a D12 for initiative instead of a D20. I thought this was weird, but it was my first
time playing D&D, and I figured this was a strange house rule. Turns out, this group
doesn't use D20s at all, and rolled D12s for everything instead. When I asked why, they just said it's what they preferred.
Also, the DM randomly selected a familiar
for my Beast Master Ranger.
It's herst.
Well, look at this.
So, okay, I have to get to this part
when that last thing.
Yeah!
I have to get to my favorite part of it.
Also, the DM, oh no! She didn't make it.
How you doing? How you doing?
How you doing?
She was doing the thing where she laughed so hard.
She instantly starts crying.
Because she's gonna try to hold it in.
You're good.
Also the DM randomly selected a familiar.
This is why we watch it.
This is why we watch it.
Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
Oh my god.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this.
You got this. You got this. You got this. You got this. Oh, die. That's the first creature he is.
So, this is going to be underwhelming now.
So my first level character, Heddy.
Sea Hag familiar.
You have an old woman.
You have an old woman.
That's just like, just like, baby.
My friend, my friend, is Gengi.
Hi.
She's so much grandma.
I see.
Guys, we're giving this for using this D12 base system.
I'm going to give this to you. I'm going to give this to you. I'm going to give this to you. I'm going to give this to you. I see tights for goodness for using this D12 base system and for not speaking up about my two powerful familiar
Roth the D12 rolling C had
That's why
Why? This is crazy, it's tough to cleanse this thing.
I mean, you can imagine they throw a beast master
and then just showing up and they're like,
great, you summon your beast,
a woman crawls out from a puddle.
Yeah, and she's gonna roll a D12 to attack
for the plus nine.
Right away.
I'm just gonna trick this guy.
I can hold it out the book, be like,
really excited to play.
My mom just got me the book, Dungeons and Dorn Gons.
Dungeons and Dorn gons.
It's basically the same.
My mom said they didn't want to have to spend all that money
and put in a D20 in there.
Oh, is excommunication and opshed?
Like what if we just, we just have to.
We just have to.
I think that this person, they rolled with it,
and I think that like, dice crust,
like some PC to roll.
Yes, it.
Okay, I'm used to it,
but I think that this DM is,
it's coming.
Dice crust can save you,
but the rest of your party is unfortunately
not coming to the party.
That's a lot of time.
I hear D12 roll party.
Please, imagine at any point,
for any reason,
opening the monster manual randomly, and and having that anything happen with that or having it be good
Yeah, the moment you start cracking up, it's like okay, what are the three dumbest thing and the answer was mostly they're not animals
Yeah, so you're losing the
She's making a pretty quick way to close the book and open it up again or to realize as soon as you fuck up the first time
Just be like
You know what this was actually a bad idea gang. We're gonna go ahead and look at the animals in the back
Trying to try to bond with your adult old
Crone
Hi
Miriam hello
We're gonna go into now
Would you like some kelp?
Roll a D12 roll a D12 to see how good the kelp is open your mouth. I'm really hoping you were gonna be a pig
I can turn your party member into a pig. Oh, she's thirsty now
All right, this is this is truly cursed, but you can be saved.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, that's why.
Yes.
That's quirky for its own say.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
The D12s is that's just a curse.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 12 I mean, I know I've I've had weapons that are 12s before it does feel good to roll that 12
But imagine that as like doing in a bill in a check and being like yes, I go to 12
It's news in the wrong place. Yeah, just yeah, just want to be able to crit more often
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you could or often yeah
Thank you. Yeah, I don't think I want to
Yeah, it's not it's not special. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I want to talk about it. Yeah, it's not special.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Really weird stuff.
Really weird stuff.
Really weird stuff.
Don't recommend it around.
Yeah, just the bizarro world.
Sweet, everybody, we're going to wrap this one up.
Thank you all so much for listening.
You can listen to us and watch us over in our Patreon
for some bonus cases.
That's patreon.com slash nad pod.
That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d.
Don't sing yet. Don't even think about it. Don yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don't sing yet. Don It's a better word. Do you have anything you'd like to plunge? I don't know.
Yeah.
Well, you've plugged up.
You're so fast.
You're so fast.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone here goes and watch things on there.
You know, everyone.
Sweet.
Yes.
We will be joining us around the Patreon.
So check that out.
Call the whole anybody have anything?
Yeah, I'm going to be the big brother in the upcoming season of Dimension
20.
I'm just going to be standing in the background.
Oh, we're going to be so, Jamie's brother.
Jamie's brother.
Do you promise?
That's because I promise I won't forget.
You have won.
What was that?
You have won your bud in.
And you're like blasting primus.
They'll just be me going, hey, big brother did not think that was funny.
Let's take it again.
I want a better choice.
Make a better choice.
I guess it's funny.
You know, you're into that.
You guys are being too serious right now.
Could you say something funny for the big brother?
Remember he loves dick and balls.
I'm watching a grand ball.
I'm watching a grand ball.
Not much else.
Oh my god.
Sweet.
You can follow us on social media that we may or may not use at CH Murf is me,
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At Quiddy.
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And you can tweet about the show using hashtag mad pod that's NADDPOD.
We are we are her.
Youth of the nation.
We are we are her youth of the nation. We are we are her youth of the nation
It's the end of the show everybody and that means I need to shout out our benevolent counsel of elder starting with Brad D
Jeffre S.
Hugh C later mix skater Matt M Jordan DJ
Cutter W Daniel G
Dylan B who is selling a glad trading card for 100 brown leaves.
Dungeon Mama, not sexual.
Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P, Michael McD, Vincent W, Mr. Cole, Victor
T.A.K.A. Balanors Boy, Dominic P, Andrew B, Justin I, Ragnar Faredwind. TJ M. the No. Barbarian.
Traylae the Cray-Fay.
Christopher B. Damial R.
Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald.
Jerry Master of the Guy Horn.
Richardx Machina.
Michael L. Taylor S. Calamel.
Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C.
Fadiator.
Leigh Gladiator.
Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E, Way cooler than Angry Wheat, Adam G, Tyler F, Fost the Visty, Panama James, Andrew the Bard, and Opsari just Andrew the Druid here, Adrian the Halfling Bardificer, Rex Daniel the White, Captain Sijal, Diana DL, C.C. Lulu, Hercule Poro, the rabbit folk detective, Timmy R, Lucas B,
RICO, it's Kevin, Cody B, Calder's cold com, Hashtag rise my comrade spread the comrade
A, KDW, Taylor B, the vengeful one winged angel, Cascade board, casc, captain of the Stevens,
Steven C, Mike K,
Lady Taco,
Brian G,
Joy T,
Nara,
K,
Jake L,
Nick W,
Brave the Badger,
Foster the Ghostly Ducks,
as Happy Halloween!
Or in the asshole Ranger,
Big Bad Beard of the Mad,
Eric McD,
Giant Monsters on the Horizon,
Glad Rose L, The White rose of Glateron.
Christian A, J. Dragonborn, Joe Rotheon-Appropro, Liam D,
The Sandrayon, Ben A, Feldonis, John III, Dave H, Vivian,
Koala Bear, Catherine S, David K, Christian S,
Dustin S, Conor F. Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfars Assistant Izzy F who is planning a FAY Wild Style engagement
party very cool.
The Time Walker, Marky Mark, the marvelous mining engineer, Kat C. Kelsey J. Pork Chop,
Mice of House in Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid, Velae C. Raptor, B. Perky Always,
Pat L, Upchutha A, Lauren H,
Ryan S, the Bone Duster, Annie M, the Crochet, Crafty Queen, the Charming Fluff,
Robots CRSP, Telekitty Creations fan illustrator asking for request, I'll say,
Kelly riding the serpent. Ploups, Carly A. Addy-K. AP Clarek.
Laurie P.
Spam Gaming.
Also in Connecticut.
Conor S.
Christopher J. Peppopad.
To the do-riders, my first D&D party may all our adventures be wondrous.
Thank you for being my friends.
Celil.
Leviathan.
Bioquart 7.
Amber Dextrous.
Sullivan H.
Trubhop Dropper.
Sydney T. Jack H. Strong. Calubhop-Tropper Sydney T.
Jack H. Strong
Caldwell Conspiracy Theorist
Fander A. Says
At C.H. Murph
Who's Anastey Little Peepy Boy
Garble the Moist
Lindsay W.
Juicy Kiwi
Seeing NAD Pod Live
for the second time this year.
Thank you, Juicy Kiwi.
Champ Wilde
Valon
Beep
Carly C.
Emily S. Cody NTR-, Hender Green's roommates,
Harry Cox, Noah the Bagel of All Things, Justin LB, Torrey, Levi L, Mrs. Bunny, Marcos
P, Jordan P, the occasional crit reporter, learns the balance druid, Dakota JP, Freedom Hollow, Pago self-proclaimed Faye Prince, Tracy P. The Crick-Off Librarian,
Friar Fritz, Andy E, Holly Hyena, Kristen Z, the I will use what you love against UDM,
Liyase, Paige H, Helen of Brizz, May B, Pixel Stars, Akash T, Kristen with a K, Cal, just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison N, Russell H, a monk
named Dilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time.
Nios, the novice monster hunter, our strangely familiar new friend Simon, we all had a shared
dream, we sang and listened to Artemis and Pars of all by Gunship. Patrick, Lorely F, Michael the Esrary Pop Idol, Morgan M,
a peeling sticker, Steven E, to the bestest Calvin and Natalie. Thank you for introducing
me to D&D. Sydney and Andrew L, John Adams, yes like the president, Meg the male carrier
of Bohumia, James F, Captain Cappy, M4L, Wafer, currently in a trademark dispute with mothership over
the patent on the SS Stormbeorn, Andrew B, Coke Fresh, Barpo Good Barrel, Bard Barian
and Brewer Emeritus of Waterdeep, Welsh Lander, Garrett G, One Big Curd, Eric M, Mr. D,
Dana D, Mr. Silly Head, Monster Captain Renee S, Hopped the Dancing Rabbit, Hope's Dagger,
the only Dagger of Hope, Olivia the Enchanting Bard who will totally be making money and a
grand novel off of the Duck team's tails.
Blue Slade the Artificer, Mekkelo Robinette, Riley S, Sursig 93, FICO, Angry Weets, the
game itself just trying to find himself, Tony G, Corbos' calamitous com shot,
hashtag CCC forever, sorry Jake, you should be saying sorry Murph, Josh H, Jack the Jack's
jinxing rogue on the run with Bohemia Balls, a horse killed by hard one, Mango and Panadas,
Temedar yes I'm the twin brother of Demadar, no I'm not proud of it.
Rented mules.
Draugdor the Burninator.
Clementine T.
Caleb L.
Simone Birdlife M.
This message has been brought to you by Ferries in support of hashtag CCC.
Alex R.
Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing Barbarian with a bad back.
Papa Wookie.
MJ the BFG drinking tea by the sea.
Little Ferret Pal, Samantha K, A Big Squid, Krones, Maximus, Geno T, Squid Minty, Aiden
Frost, Critten MacKenn, Fae Father of the Fae, Mama Bell, Miko the Mockingbird will happily
fight Merv to disprove his point, and finally, Sheldon, the mushroom turtle.
Thank you all so much for listening.
Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our
Benevolent Council of Elders.
Get head out over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash n'ad pod, to listen to our after show.
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