Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Enema Potions, Unfair PVP & The Item-Swiping Magpie (w/ Jasper William Cartwright)

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

Welcome to Dungeon Court! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner, Axford and Guest Justice Jasper William Cartwright (as well as the Highly, Highly, Highly, Highly, HIGHLY appreciated Bailiff Hurwitz) as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!Subscribe to 3 Black Halflings on Patreon!and get tickets to our upcoming shows at Naddpod.com/Live!CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Grace Harper ( IG: @chorlesborkley)Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We are your Supreme Crit Justices, Murphy, Axford and Tanner. Join by, of course, the lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly You told you like that. Yeah, I love that for me. Hey, I agree. I for one agree with Justice Axford. Yeah, they get some talented Baylif, Jake Harwitz, also guest judge, Jasper William Cartwright, welcome Jasper. Hello, good morning. I'm upset about the fact we're being nice to Jake. Don't worry, you guys can be mean to me

on the on the short rest. That's what you'll be mean to me. Don't worry about us. We'll go back and forth. We'll go back and forth. We'll go back and forth. Yeah, there must be a day when there is a night. As of right now, Jasper is just a guest until he reads this and is sworn in as a justice.

Oh, okay. So I, Jasper, with him caught right, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the players as well as the DMs against all enemies foreign and domestic that I will bear true faith in allegiance to the same that I Take this obligation of my own volition and that I will well and faithfully embark upon this noble pursuit of justice So help me, God. That was a man that was reading ahead to make sure we weren't making him say anything too

weird. I was like, you have to be on the record. Yeah, truly I was like, this is me balancing my dyslexia with also being like, I don't trust anything. Yeah, it is what we just drop that in like the Zoom chat at the last minute. So there's like no way you could go. Oh, that was literally like two seconds.

Like as Jake said, I mean, to read that, that's what it appeared. Yep. And with that, let's throw to our wonderful friend, honestly. Jake. Wow. And Andy, he's so great. I feel like all of our heroes, right?

Yeah, because it could sound sarcastic if you overdo it. Push them back around, that would count as being mean to me. Yeah, we should, we should temper the compliments. Yeah. Here you, here you, crit is now in session, the honorable Supreme Crit, justice's Axford Murphy, cartwright and Tanner presiding. Hello. Hi, feels good. Pleased to be here with you, Jake.

Okay. Our first case comes from Dave 3D Art and Dave writes, please the courts and the honorable and tall Bayliff Jake. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm team. How did they know?

How did they know? How did they know? Was briefly in a campaign in which potions only came in the form of Enemas. I quit. No one mentioned the Enemas before the campaign started and there was also a rather long list of questionable house rules.

Was I right to quit? Or is that the kind of house rule that is acceptable to throw on a party in the first session? There were other issues, but that was pretty wild, hey? I'm in the mercy of your verdict. Okay, yeah, you should have quit that. Would you quit if that was the only issue? I actually desperately now want to hear all the other issues.

Yeah, I feel this. Yeah, I feel this. Because this is batches. Somehow, I kind of get the feeling that that's the lowest of the issues. Like I feel like the other issues were probably worse. Mm-hmm. Okay, let us always ask we must. We must.

A generous read. Let's do our generous read. A sharp generous. End of a table. Our generous read for animal potion table. That it started as a bit. A month. It's sharded as a bit.

It sharded. It sharded as a shit. It sharded as a shit. And then the players were having fun with it. This person joins. Yeah. And then they're kind of like, yeah, LOL, the potions are enemas. And they were, it wasn't like a hard and fast.

You need to graphically describe. I understand how that situation happens. But as soon as the new person narrows their eyes and says, no, what are you going to do that? You have to instantly back down to be so ashamed. Yeah, it's so easy to back down on. Like, it's not that funny.

Well, is it, is it so easy? Wait, can I argue though? Is it so easy to back down on that? Okay, because the second you're like, this potion has been shoved up someone's ass. It's hard to back down. It's hard to back down. Yeah, I actually think it's funny if the people getting it as the suppository potion, But this potion has been shoved up someone's ass. It's hard to back down. It's hard to back down. It's hard to back down. It's hard to back down.

Yeah, I actually think it's funny if the people getting it as the suppository potion, it's more elective. That's a little sillier that the only way this potion is applied is through the ass. No, that's the funnier thing to do is to make it seem only in-a-moseer potions and then in the next town, you just find some regular potions and I'm like, just like one weird half-time.

Yeah, just a really rude shopkeep. Yeah. I'm sorry, but you have to put it in a big bath at the end. I think I could be more on board with it if this random table I joined explained it to me that there was some extra benefit for sticking to sync up my art. No, yeah, you get an extra D4. If You got an extra D4 or did like max healing. Don't you feel like if you

were getting a little extra perks that you'd be like what fetish am I playing in two four years. Yeah, I had that same thought. Why are you buttering me up? So I gave my obligatory generous reads and now I'm gonna go back to being like this is weird, you're right that I've left. Okay, so does it seem like we're ruling in favor of the player who didn't want the version of the player? Did the player bring it up with their DM? Were they like, hey, I'm uncomfortable with this or did Dave 3DGAR just bounce instantly? Because that is allowed?

I think either way. Other is valid. I mean, I have another generous read. I have another generous read. Bounce instantly because that is allow either I think either way other is valid Read I'm in other genres That might tempt someone over okay What if the reason that potions are animals is because they're huge fans of blink 180 Absolutely, yeah, you've won Jacob over. I'm in the face. That's the healing class.

And that, yeah. This is my new Artifix or something. Yeah, how fought, like genuinely, how far does it go? Like, does the cleric, is the, the cleric is a proctologist. Yeah. Yeah. The clerics are proctologists. The potions are all animals.

Yeah, I think that even if Dave 3D art showed up and just bounced as soon as it was mentioned, I also think that's fun. Yeah, I think that's whole exact... You only have so much time in your life and sometimes you walk into a situation that you just say no. You want to do potion animals.

Yeah, yeah. That's a beautiful adult. I could spend a while, we could discuss this, and then we could ultimately get to a point where we don't have post-animals anymore, but that's still the vibe this one has. You don't want to help it? Exactly. Yeah.

So when that comes up in session one, it's like, well, session, it's not going to get better. It's not going to get to the version. Yeah, it's going to be immediately, we all have to break up. You know what I mean? We just have to, this has to be over. You know what, kudos to the table

for setting down their vibes. So firmly be like, this is what we do. I don't think we're gonna fly too great. That's so one, right? Just set down your live immediately. Like, everyone sits down right away. You're just like, just so everyone knows, potions are gonna be enemas.

And then three people get up and leave the table and you keep playing. And you keep playing. And you can also remain, you are all on the same fucking page. You put a reef of your vibes on your front door. So that's a no what to explain in this house. Potions are in us. In the low sun, brain script.

Yeah. In this house we believe. Potions are in us. Healing could only happen through the bottom. May the force be with you. It's a that too for some reason. Wait for it in the in the map. The animals.

The animals have to get the sign. Yeah, the one would wear that. We could do it as that look. What about sides? No one would wear that. No. Truly. We could do it as a house sign though. In the house, I think that the punishment is clear. Everyone who's using potion animals has to put a lawn sign that says, in this house, we believe that. Potions are animals.

Well, this is it say though, because that's not gonna fill up the whole sign. In this house. All of our other weird rules. All of our other weird rules. Yeah, that's great. In this house, we believe D12s are more fun than D20s. Oh, that hurt.

Potions are animas. Whenever you roll a one, you have to shit yourself just a little bit. Just shaw. You just have to, you absolutely have to shard. Solid punishment, so ordered. Our next case comes from Tyler J and Tyler writes, man, please, the esteemed court, the rugged Baylif John and a little place called Manges, a little place called Manges.

I present the case of the anime tournament arc gone wrong. Oh, shit. My DM to have the party prove their strength and earn the respect of some powerful orcs, how does enter a classic anime-style bracketed fighting tournament? However, we had to all enter as individuals, and sure enough, the first round of the tournament pitted the party's martial-forged cleric

against the party's way more optimized Asimar celestial warlock. Ugh. Oh, wow. Ouch. As soon as the fight started, the warlocked used their Asimar flight to fly above the arena, cast darkness on the cleric and proceeded to absolutely melt them with eldritch blasts

from above, counterspelling the one AOE spell the cleric tried to cast. The move at the table quickly soured, and the cleric was almost silent the rest of the session. The players all quickly became divided over who was to blame. The player for being so merciless or the DM for putting us into PVP when some players were clearly more optimized than others. I leave it to the court to decide their fate.

I blame everyone. Here's the thing, except for the cleric. They said they wanted an anime tournament arc. This is absolutely what happens in an anime tournament arc. You are at a school. You are pitted against your fellow classmates who all have special powers. You're like, I can't go up against them. They're too powerful, they're going to kill me. But you have to dig deep, you have to find your strength, even if you lose.

You have to be racially taking off your weight. I, well, revealing your next level of strength. Well everyone, let's not forget in Naruto when they did this for the June exam. They were on the same team. It was Sass, Sass Day, Saka and Naruto did not fight each other. I think that's ultimately, I'm like, generous read on this is like, the DM just should not have like had them in the same bracket like to start with. Also to see. Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, after everyone's done like three rounds, fine. Then like the final could probably be, you know, two of the players.

Yeah. I think. It's always a better idea to just have everyone on the same team. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. I also think that like people always say they want PVP, but if you are really good at mechanics, you simply can't do PVP.

Yeah. I do. I do. PVP is too dangerous. Yeah. So we had so many questions about PPP. People's feelings get hurt during... Yes. You don't need that. Getting wamped in D&Ds, sometimes it's just fucking boring.

Just getting stunned and stuff. Or even this caster had their only spell, counter spelled. And then the person's like an aero-cock or flying up in the air, they literally can't do anything. I definitely gotta say there's some more fault with the player that I realized because like that's a dick move to like count us spell them as well.

You know what I mean? I think if you want PvP, it's gotta be, I feel like if you're gonna do a PvP campaign, obviously this is not the question. But hypothetically, if you were gonna do it, I think it shouldn't be fighting. I think it should be behind the scenes stuff. You should be working against each other

in different ways rather than just finding each other. I mean, you'll be making maneuvering pieces on a chess board independently as opposed to- Yeah, that could be more satisfying for a- Yeah, also using all of your mechanics and everything, because also, like, clerics and stuff, they're built to help the team. They're built to Bob F the team. Right, yeah.

And stuff like that. So you're not, it's different when, because like with like the band of boobs and everything, we definitely did things where it was like, hard one in moonshine wrestle, or bev and bound or wrestle or something. And we just do an athletics check, and then it's just funny, and then one person wins,

and we make a joke about it, and then it's over. What you don't want to do is sit there and be like, okay, Beverly goes first, I'm gonna use a seventh level smite. I'm just trying to take you out in one turn. And just imagine no one legions to cap it tight and hold one at the end of the campaign. You know what I think, though,

is I think the person I blame the most is the DM, though, because I'm imagining that this person who's like, absolutely destroying this cleric is being rude, but they could have been just as scared and uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah. You gotta do this Jiu-Jitsu chaisen style where like the teams are like different classes

that are up against each other. I'm like, they're competing. Like, you know, it's the two different schools going up against each other. Give everyone like a rival that they can play off against. That's so fun. Totally. I think it doesn't even further your story, really,

either to, yeah. The DM also could't even further your story, really, either to... The DM also could have, like, if they were randomly creating the bracket and saw this, they could have been like, I'm not gonna hit them against each other. That's what they're saying. They shouldn't have been in the same thing. And I also think, like, as a DM,

you have to treat your players like they are children in, like, kindergarten, right? Like, if you put them in a scenario where it's likely to draw out their worst qualities, that's what will happen. That's what's happened. Yes, I mean, like, if you put them in a scenario where it's likely to draw out their worst qualities, that's what will happen. That's what happens. Yes, I mean, like if you put kids in a sandbox and say it's okay to throw sand at each

other, that's all that's going to happen. Right, yes. They're just rubbing sand into each other's eyes and it's going to be horrific. I was at a preschool open house the other day. Kids are savage. That's so many fucking flip-safes. Right, then imagine one of those kids could fly. That kid could just be one the end of the kid.

I saw a three-year-old cast darkness. Dude, if my middle school bully had spells that he could cast on me, I would be so surprised. I mean, Heather's definitely had vicious mockery and use it. Yeah. Every bully has vicious mockery, and that's it, thankfully. So they also have those like rallying cries where they can not you know rally people to their side Yeah, all teams get the same time. So that was I love the idea of a bully bar to subclass I think I think I probably have like some in great a teacher or something though

Well, like I could defend myself Like by being so pathetic You know what I mean? That like a teacher would appear and be like, get off. That's great. When you don't have to tell on anyone, just somebody witnesses it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like, you've got to make a scene. I can't tell on you. You've got to make a scene. I think I had invisibility, but I didn't mean to cast it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, really?

We just had song of rest. We went in the corner and read books. Ha just had a song of rest. We went in the corner and read books. Okay, so yeah, I guess it's a magical time. It's a magical time. The DM must be pun. The DM is the blame me. The DM has to be. The DM has to be.

The DM has to be. The DM has to be the one that's wrong. Because first off, you have to talk to your players ahead of time before you do PPP. I don't really want to punish this person just for doing, because they probably also were like, they were trying to play players ahead of time before you do PPP. I don't really wanna punish this person just for doing, because they probably also were like, they were trying to play the C of the DMs game. But I feel like knowing that you've got future fights and burning one of your counter spells.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely, like here in the description, it's like easy. I would not have gone that hard. I would say, I would like to make a motion to the justices, that whatever punishment is delivered to the DM, we deliver like 50% of to the scale, to the player. Yeah, because I just think that I'd like to open

debate on that motion because I would like to present the line that they were trying to impress a group of powerful or they were trying to rally to this. Yeah, exactly. So I think you could imagine that a player is like, okay, I'm going to show all of my stuff so they'll like join our cause. Yeah, but that's going to be performative. Generous read, sure.

Effectively though, they were on the same team all trying to impress. Yeah. So if anything that works against them, because I'm going to talk about pro wrestling for a moment, because Jasper and I were watching pro wrestling last night. It was a good time. But this, this, uh, warlock, it was a warlock, right? Yes. This warlock went into business for themselves.

Oh, those ones, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It is also a healer, so they aren't like the most selfish person. Totally, but when you're doing, if you're trying to impress the other people, this is like wrestling, where you're putting on a show together for everybody to look strong.

Yes. In wrestling, when you go into business for yourself, it's when you make the other person look bad to the detriment of the show, essentially. Yeah. I would concede that they didn't put on a good show. I will concede that they didn't give it on the show, but I argue that their intent could be, I think their intent might have been good. I can't, I think I'm totally on board up until account

As well, I'm like I'm totally on board with doing the most optimized move But like literally like at the table your friend gets excited about a spell has like the one lichy I think it says like the one area right that they go to try and you just go no you can't do like you literally can't do anything Yeah, yeah, I was a step too far. You can maybe argue it's like, oh no, I was just like playing my character. I was just doing what they do, but like, it's not metagaming to be nice to your friends. Totally, totally. Exactly.

But again, this PC could have been like acting at the behest of the DM. I get it. Being like, here's your world. This is how, this is what you're supposed to do. I'm gonna suggest for them. The PC is trying to make the DM have. For's your world. This is how this is what you're supposed to do. I'm gonna suggest for them. He's trying to make the DM have them. For them, totally separate thing. I'll just a wrestling punishment.

So they like to fly around so much. We're gonna lock them hell in a cell. Yeah, with cane, the big machine. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, I got this false. Here it is! Iron goes off. This is when it turns out the declaric was chasing the wall look round with an enema for like half an hour before this. Well, it was like, please stop. Please stop.

These questions are all enema related, obviously. That's right, that's the theme for this week. Oh, that's good. It's an enema of the state week. I like a theme week. Yeah, we'll be a nice to Jake, and we're getting our fun holes clean. And then maybe the DM has to like fight against like a level 20 sorcerer paladin. Yeah, who's a bully?

Oh, who's a bully? Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna invent a bully for you. We're gonna create a bully character. We're gonna stat out a level 20 bully bar. Level 20 bully bar. A bully bar. That is so sick. College level 20 bully bar. A level 20 bar. That is so sick. College of bully, I guess that would be, that would actually probably be pre-canceling.

Yeah. Okay, sick, so ordered. Our next case comes from Connor OS, Connor writes, to the Reverend Judiciary Panel and the guy who reads the cases. So that's pretty good. That's my friend, Jayner. Super nice. Super nice.

Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice.

Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. Super nice. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a and set in a homebrew world. In this world are lots of cool magic items like the Ring of Teleportation, which teleports the ring and not the wearer, or the amulet of rain, which will tell you if it's raining,

by lighting up, but it only works outside. The DM has been very generous with these throwaway magic items, often giving us one or two in each session. Enter the party's Eric Cacra, Drunken Fighter Monk, who is roleplaying as a magpie. This player will at every turn pick pocket and directly wrestle these magic items off other PCs. I've already lost two

items to him. Oh my gosh. This really goes back to what Jasper was saying about D&D players being kindergartners. Yep. The DM doesn't allow us to roll slight of hand to hide the ring from him, and instead makes us roll opposed athletic checks, which he always wins due to his dad's. Yeah, sure. My character is a human fighter and has spoken to his character in-game

and asked that he perhaps lets us have some of them to know of him. Ha ha ha ha ha. I won't do anything to watch that in character conversations. I was just like, saying no is unhinged. And also the way of saying maybe we could have some.

Maybe we could stop stealing from us. Maybe you could be a couple for us to play with. You keep the ones you already stole, but just no more stealing. How about that? This is a wild suggestion, but can we go ahead and punish this person? Can we just jump right in? Because I got one ready. Right. I think that we need to find out the age of this person and then hire someone to yell at them with a megaphone and just say their age over and over again.

Be like, you're 34. Wait, I want to hear the rest of the thing though. Oh, yes, all right. Okay. It closes. And so I plead with you. Am I being a diva roach supreme by being pissed about this or should something be done about this pilfering pigeon?

I await your judgment. No, you're totally in the right. And I love that you, I love that you tried to talk them into stealing less. Okay, I've got a generous read on this one. Oh, okay. I wasn't even gonna go for it. Yeah, I'm gonna just read on this one. Okay, is it possible that because these magic items

are ostensibly useless, that the magpie is thinking that everyone's having fun with this? Bit, you know what I mean? Right. I wanna know whether the Magpies actually then like elevated this to stealing anything of import, right? Like, because if I like, like, like, the DMs like, oh, the Magpies has your plus two

shield now that they stole, I'd be like, what? But it's still, even if they think it's funny, when someone comes to you and says, hey, I'm so sorry. It's amazing, please. Maybe we could share some of them. When someone comes to you and says hey Maybe we could share I some of them. It didn't sound like it was presented in a way of levity It sounded like it was presented in a way of desperation Hopefully so I also like to shine I don't like to shine a light on another low key villain in the story

Oh, yeah, which is the DM another low key villain in the story. Oh yeah. Which is the DM. Yeah. Just how funny could it possibly be to have these kind of cheeky items one or two every session? Okay, I can't argue. Can I argue these items?

No, no, no, these items are hackable to be useful. Wow. Think about it. Like the ring of teleportation, you just get a metalsmith to add a little snuff thing or something to put a potion in there. Teleport to your friend who doesn't have a potion. Oh, it's for messaging, yeah. Yeah.

Okay, yeah. I don't know if the DM would be favorable to that. I don't think they might figure out a way to make it useless, though. Yeah, I don't know. It's just very funny to me to just every session be like, okay. Honestly, it seems like too much work for the D.F.

Yeah, it's just, to your sweating, not balancing any of your encounters. Cause it's like, how do I make this staff funny? So it's a staff that can measure something as long as it's three feet tall. That's awesome man, put it in. We need one more. We need one more for this.

I don't hate it. I guess a little fun. I like it. It's definitely, I agree that it's a little fun. Yeah, I think as long as this isn't the only magic items they're getting, as long as like they are actually getting like something they can use. They're getting so many to the point are actually getting like something to use. To the point that the magpie is stealing them

and it's a problem because they do it so much. But they're all of it enough by the characters that they're disappointed when it's getting stolen from them. Jake, I know if you mention this in the case, is this player an actual magpie? Is there like a bird that flew into the DM's house and is like playing these DM's? Are they role playing and being like, there like a bird that flew into the DM's house and is like playing these things? Are they role playing and being like,

I'm a bird that collects things? I think it's, yeah. So when the player was like, can I have my stuff back? They just caught at them. They were just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's right. That didn't really happen.

That didn't really happen. It's just what I think happened. I have to be honest, I spent all my generous read on the warlock on the counterspelling warlock and I have nothing left for the stealing magpie. I was kind of still on board with my very, very generous read, but just clawing back at them,

I feel like I'd just straight up punch the player across the table. I just feel like at that point, I'm like, drop the character and I'm like, hey, man. How do you see our relationship progressing going forward since you caught at me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you see happening at this table? Hey, look at me. What's going on? Yeah. Look at me. I'm looking away. My eyes in here. Come on.

Like, look it in. You don't actually have eyes on either side of your head. You can look at me. You're not a bird. Just pecking at cheese. It's on the table Just immediately getting aggressive. What's up with you, man? Why do you need this? Dude, I'm just playing a fucking You'd have to flip out too hard for the bird to be the good guy of this

You'd have to flip out too hard for the bird to be the good guy of this You absolutely could you could do it Okay, still punching that you're like going full ham on this play who's just still calling back I think maybe you guys should host a session at this person's house and Steel unimportant stuff just Feel some Just deal some real things Yeah, yeah, just some shiny, unimportant stuff.

Just like a picture frame with like them and like a precious relative or something. Oh. That's important, man. Like not expensive, but a monetary, monetary, it means nothing. So that's pretty good. Yeah.

So ordered? Yeah. Okay, that's the punishment. You have to steal something. Go steal pictures of them and their family. Yeah. Why not? Why not? Why not?

I didn't know I did that. They played a bird. All right, cool. So the punishment is for the bird to steal from the DM. Is that the punishment? Wait, I have another thing. I have another thing. You could just surround this person's house with breadcrumbs.

So that they are just descended upon by birds and every time they go out to get the newspaper. It's just like birds actually. Yeah, I know that. I know that. I know that. Yeah. Yeah. That's smart. You just go around just dropping bird seed. Nightly, you would take a 12 pack of croissants and sprinkle it around this person. Yeah. You need to cro- you need to cro- you need to cro- you need to cro- you need to cro- you need a croissant their house. Yeah. You need a croissant their butter. Croissant their butter. Croissant their butter. Croissant their milk.

Croissant their dough. What you really have to do is croissant their chimney. Oh, yeah. Croissant the chimneys. If you eat an eye croissants over their chimney, basically eat your nightly croissant every night over their chimney. The crumbs will go down the floor and then the birds will fly. Chris on their flower bed.

Kun, Chris on their flower boxes. Fucking pray Chris on their golfing. This is so funny. Chris on their whole damn life, dude. Yeah, that's what this can be a punishment for anything. You can get out of any punishment of D&D court if you just you can elect to be croissante. Which is people just throwing croissants at you. That's good. It's like going to it's like taking the black and game of thrones. Yeah, I don't want my punishment. I choose to be croissante. Take the croissants. I plead the cross on.

That's what yeah. Okay. I cannot live with the shame. Cool. So ordered. We've made a martyr of them. Emile M. writes, esteemed justices and fine bailiff. Pretty nice. Because a generous fine. I think it's like fine. So fine.

So fine. I appreciate that. How many eyes were in that fine? Just the one and it's fine. It's like fine. So fine. So fine. How many eyes were in that fine? Just the one and it's Jake. I present the case of the neglected mom. Oh no, you know I'm always sensitive. I'm always supportive of us. In the long running game IDM,

the party started off as pirates that got drafted mid job by a dying god to save her by finding and being blessed by all seven other gods. Since then, they have traveled the far reaches of the world to find them from bustling cities to remote wilds. One of the PC's sister has found him and told him off for neglecting their mother, who believes him to be dead since he went on a pirate job, never came back and never reached

out in the month since. My friend was pissed. He insisted that of course his bard would have kept in touch with his mom. That's what I was going to say. But it's not like the parties had prolonged moments of downtime. When they visit more developed settlements, though, I've always mentioned rookries they could use to send ravens or messages and none of them have. And I wrong to have this PC's family miss him. This is okay. So the only thing I'm hearing at first though

is that like maybe this PC didn't even know they had family. Like I'm wondering if like maybe you were like, I'm gonna introduce some drama. Hey, your mom's mad at you. Wait, what? My mom, I didn't even know to think about my mom. Yeah.

Like, that could be happening. You might think, oh, this will be some like juicy parental drama. Everyone loves that in D&D, but if this player didn't initiate it, they might be like. It needs to kind of be a core thing of their character. Yeah, like episode one is like them leaving, like waving goodbye to their family or something. Right. Because like a real stab, like you've. Right. It was like a real stab. Like you've roleplayed a bit like,

like, as you've got it. Yeah, just so they know. Yeah. This seems like the situation where the DM should have been like listening for like, breadcrumbs or croissant crumbs as it were. Right. They could like pick up and like, turn into backstory later. Yeah.

But it seems like this was like, whole cloth invented as opposed to like, taking something that they overheard this player say. Which I don't think is wrong because I think that a player could like you could throw that on a player and they could embrace that. But it sounds like this person. We kind of I mean, we kind of did it with Hank. Yeah, with like Hank having like a family. But that was kind of I mean, Jake can just agree you can say or you could say so. But my feeling of it was that that was a core part of Hank's character. Was like, yeah.

Was like, yeah. Exactly. Was him like getting like kind of like Hank's character arc was like him learning not to let the world like keep him down. But also like, you came in being like, I'm divorced and I have a kid. Totally. Yeah. And I was just like, I was beaten down where I and I had like run away from all my problems.

So like coming back and being a part of my like, character arc made sense. That's it. Yeah, I was like, my son should love me. I just came home for the first seven, nine years. You not happy? But that's also different, right? So like, it could be wrong,

but when I'm hearing this story, I'm wondering if it's more the equivalent if 10 episodes in, you'd been like, Zirk, your daughter. Your daughter. You're a kid. Well, you haven't mentioned. Salt, your kids.

So if you did that, like I said, I think that there are players that would be like, thank you for this gift, but there might be some players that are like, no, I actually don't want to roleplay that. I think when you find yourself on the defensive being like, but there were several rookies that you could have taken opportunity at. I just, I feel like maybe you can pivot and be like, all right, you know what? If you talked to your mom,

she'll see that you had important things to do. Yeah. Doesn't it sound like the DM is the mom? In that case, yeah. Yeah, you could have called. I'm gonna tell you off. I think that's the bit that's odd for me as I'm like, it seems weird to me that the player clearly really felt

like it was a part of their character that they would have done it. That's true. If we're in a place where Sam and I retconning something to introduce the character of the mum, it then feels a little weird to me that then they weren't able to have retroactively sent like two or three letters to say,

hey, I'm alive by the way. Yeah. You know what I mean? You don't narrate every single thing you do. You don't go like, I'm gonna take my long rest. First I'm gonna have. Wait, Murf, do you cut out every shit I narrate? Yeah, that's true.

And roll any of them for nothing. Wait, do people not know that Beverly washes his hands a lot? They do know I would say. Yeah. Rolls away. Yeah, it tracks. But yeah, you know, you don't say. Yeah. Everyone's a way. Yeah, it tracks. But yeah, you know, you know, document every shit. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what I mean.

And I feel like you could still have the drama without the parents thinking that they were just dead for a while. Yeah. They could still be annoyed that they haven't spoken much. But you could have at least set them one letter to say, by the way, I'm not dead. I also think like the nugget of this is like what Jasper's saying,

which is like the player was clearly excited to have a parent. Right. Like they wanted to be like, no, no, I did, I would have contacted that. Yeah. So you did introduce something that your character, that your player is into, just maybe not in a way that they want to roleplay it out.

Yeah. This seems like a situation where like the DM should have maybe texted the player and been like, hey, how do you think your relationship with your family is? Like just get a read on it so that you can have that. So there's just a home game. They can be a little sloppy. It's okay.

It's okay to like talk things out at the table as long as everyone's telling the story they want to tell. I feel like this is a little messy in the sense that like, I don't know if I feel comfortable punishing one. I feel like both probably need a little punishment. In my mind, I'm thinking like, they spread those punishments around. Yeah, I think that's my justice style.

Justice for all of you. You know what we can do is we can just go back and punish the Magpie Eric Hocker again. Yeah, great. Yeah, great. No, that Magpie Eric Hocker has to act as a delivery messenger bird for the DM and their player. And they have to make a message every week.

Like, strictly, they have to send each other a letter, every single handwritten letter, every week, even if they're meeting up, seeing each other. Like, a full like, this is what's happened in my week. Covered in bread crumbs. Yeah, so much. Quasong just incises, and you have to pay them that point, Quasong. Every time they walk out, it's just getting pecked by birds

as they are a courier for this message. Not a big deal. Every message is written on a croissant. They have to be realistic about it too. They have to tie it to their leg. They're just gonna add up a painting big goods. To stuff it into your sock. This is a crime scene.

I do think I'm maybe more with the player here. I do think that when it comes to actual challenges and stuff in the game and everything, failure has to be an option for it to be like exciting But I think if you're unless it's something completely crazy where you're like I could have never predicted that they would have reacted Negatively to this or something like that. Yeah, usually if the DM has like a story beat and the player is like I hate this. It's like you probably didn't do a great job Yeah, but I mean like you're not trying to get them. You know what I mean? Like,

yeah, that's the way. Yeah. I also wonder if it's a story, like, if it's a story, it's a little more interesting. If it's like, okay, well, we're bringing in your sister and your mom and this, like, this thing and this thing are going to happen, or if they're just kind of like, calling their player out for not writing to their mom, you know? Also it's like, it's not a particularly fun thing either. Like, you got like, bamboozled by the evil wizard and now you're like, you're all locked up or you've got to escape this tower. Yeah. It's just like, no, we're just going to roleplay your mum big pissed at you.

Yeah. This is just like, so rude of. It seems like a play games to not have that. Yeah, that's it. It's just like, you know how fantasy is escapism? Yeah. It's not anymore. Right.

Yeah. In this game, your mom is also mad at you for not contacting her enough. Oh, one way is your mom. Mom walks in, sits down. I say, you can play G&D for six hours. It's Sunday. That's when you call mom and you have the long conversation.

And you forgot to do it. Oh. It feels like a trap. I have to be honest, I was hired by your mom. She has something she wants to say to you. Yeah, this is a mom comment. Teaching you a lesson about communication. Yeah.

This would be, we were joking about, like, solving secret kids or something like that. But this is kind of like, this would be like me throwing called her under the bus or something like that. But this is kind of like, this would be like me throwing called her under the bus or something like that of being like called her. You haven't contacted your mom that much in the frigid north. Like she's really mad at you. It's just, it's like we know she exists.

So brutal. Do we have to every session have the characters talk about like how well they're keeping in contact with all of your relatives? We don't have time to do that because we well they're keeping in contact. Yeah. We don't have time to do that because we are narrating every single shit we do. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm assuming that you're not editing that out.

Uh-huh. In this house, we believe that potions are animals. We narrate our shits. Crossenting is punishment. Crossenting is every punishment. Yeah. Yeah. Chris, something is every punishment. Yeah. It really, it would be like if every time you ran into an old friend on the road to like the DM narrated them be like, why don't you ever write me?

Oh, hey, it's been a long time. Yeah, I've heard from you at a long time. Yeah. Yeah, you can't send a rave in everyone's in a while. Do you know that I got married? No, you don't. Because you didn't respond to the RSVP. You didn't know how to think.

Those narrative got you moments are always better when it's like, hey, this devil gives you a coin and you're like, oh, I guess I keep it. Maybe it'll be useful later. And then later on, it's like, you find out that the devil was screwing on you. Yeah. That's fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not fun to just arbitrarily be like, your parents who you didn't think were gonna be part of this story are so mad at you right now. We're like 20 episodes in being like, um, did you set up a security system for your house that you left?

Yeah. We had cases like that. We had cases like that of being like. Oh, the one with like the airship that was unlocked. Yeah, that's like, and it's just keep coming in and stealing. But that was like even more pressure. It's like if you start it, if it's just like, they mentioned that was unlocked. Yeah, that's like, and it's just keep coming in and stealing. But that was like even more pressure. It's like if you start it,

if it's just like, they mentioned that they left home, and then 20 episodes in, it's like, did you narrate locking the door? Yeah. Did you check that you didn't need to stove on? I just checking. Yeah.

You didn't describe that you were wearing socks. Your feet are covered in blisters. Someone did it in your kitchen sink. Uh, excuse me, hard one. Did you put on your boots today? I don't remember if all you sang, you did, man. I remember you putting the boots on, but you did not say that you laced them.

Yeah, cause you actually... You tripped on your laced them. Yeah, roll me a deck star to save it. Back here, it was just a bandage until you take an action to tie your shoes. Just the DM fucking with a little grinch smirk on his face. Do you like, did anyone he breakfast today? Yeah.

That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, if it was a legit part of their backstory or something like that, then that's interesting. But it sounds like the player didn't like that. It sounds like it's like a type of role play that they're really not feeling excited about.

And all of your players' enthusiasm. Yeah, yeah. So we're gonna send this Magpie air cockpit to your own messages between C2. Yeah, and unfortunately, again, they are covered in birdseed and croissants. Uh-huh. And should we have the Magpie spread some croissants

at this place? Yeah, and you of course can elect to take the croissant. Right, this is your point of view, but you can opt for a croissant. Yeah, you you you of course can can elect to take the croissant. This is your point of view, but you can you can opt for a croissant. Yeah, you may take the crescent watch. If you don't feel, yeah, you can take the crescent watch. The choice is yours. Yeah, so ordered. This episode of NAD pod has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are company that makes pants and shorts.

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That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Our next case comes from Alex W. to the magnificent and honorable Supreme Crit justices. Hi Alex. And also, how ya doing?

Alex, how old are you? I'm just doing my friend. I'm with Jices and also Alex Jake read A few more weeks later while I next what's up? How's your mom? We're supposed to be almost kind of like disconnected To the magnificent and honorable supreme Chris justices and also the deplorable and dishonest Baylif Jake if you really wants interesting. Oh, that sounds kind of hot though.

It's a plurable. Yeah, honest. Edgy. That was savage in a cool way. I present the case of Squid Anatomy. Great. IDM for a large group that has several rotating players. During a recent session,

six players were fighting a juvenile Kraken. The fighter played by my dad in his first camp. I'm dead. The fighter played by my dad in his first campaign since the 80s asked if the Kraken has any weak spots. Before I could say anything, the cleric played by my cousin currently getting her masters in deep sea marine biology, said that squids had circular brains that went around their heads and three hearts. She then sent a diagram into the chat

of our zoom of squid anatomy. Through. I was taken aback, but said this was a fantasy game and that the squid didn't have any weak points. Now, I feel as though I should have rewarded the flex on squid anatomy and given the crack in vulnerability to attacks made at the head. Was I wrong to say there were no weak points?

My fate rests in your hands. Okay, I think that you weren't wrong, but I like that you are doing a little inventory because though it is a wild move, it is fun for players to be like. Yeah. Oh, there is a little bit of a slippery slope, but having it work the one time is kind of fun.

I think this is exactly what inspiration was made for. Yeah. Yeah. The marine biologist, the point of inspiration, you're like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, I'll say that like your knowledge of squids allows you to have a little extra view to hit them. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I can absolutely imagine the scenario in which like the next fight they're like, okay, cool. I know everything about this. I know everything about this. I go to the wings and it's like, okay, we're going to, this is what we're going to go. That is a thing that new D&D players need to learn is that it's all just armor class and HP.

Yeah. Like sitting there being like, I attack its foot. It just does it. It sounds like the cousin though was chill, right? Yes, yes, yes. So it was clearly someone who was like, oh, actually here's a fun fact. Yeah.

And then it was like, no, that's not how it works. Okay, cool. Totally. That cousin was so excited to be able to share a squid diagram. I mean, that's why this DM sounds like the DM was sitting there being like, wow, I should have made the award.

Yeah. And so I was like, you were thinking, you did nothing wrong, but I can also see the fighter being like, I'm going to go for one of their three hearts. And then suddenly, like, you could have been like sick. Yeah. Yeah. The brain thing isn't true, but they do have three hearts. And if you, if you attack all three hearts, that, you, you know, like you could, but you did not do anything

wrong. This is, this sounds like a very nice. Uh-huh. We're going to do a good old fashioned goodwill hunting. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

It's not your fault. It's not your fault, right? Not your fault. Have I talked on here about how I watched a man watch goodwill hunting three times in a road, chugging red wine on a flight Was he paying attention each time yeah, he was going through these huge bottles of red wine and just Seen I guess just gets to the end and goes you know, I'd love to watch people hunting Guess at the end of the second time through

That man was time travel. I was like, I kind of respected it. I was like, I know what. Do you fight? How do you respect your fight? If someone explained to me that they're just like, yeah, I watch movies twice in a row because I like look at my phone a lot and stuff

and I don't want to miss anything. So I watch it twice. And I'm just like, you're crazy, but I get you. Yeah, insane, but I respect. Yeah, that's insane. I absolutely respect you. Okay, we'll move on respect. Yeah, insane, but I absolutely respect you. Okay, we'll move on because I'm scared I already talked about that already. I'll show you.

No, worth repeating, I would say. We should talk about it three times. Yeah, we need you to have to talk about it three times. Yeah, that's the live one. Everyone I think has watched someone watch an insane airplane movie choice. Yeah, I watched someone watch Avatar Twice. I actually did it with Barb and Star go to Del Mar. Because I watched it and then Murph started watching it

because I was laughing at it. And then I watched it and then I watched every show but then I started watching it again to get to the really funny parts. Oh yeah. That movie's got some incredible jokes in it. Definitely worth a rewatch. What were we talking about?

We were talking about how no one ever responds to my squid anatomy post in the group chat. Yeah. I think all we were saying go well hunting is not your fault. You do that all around. Yeah, yeah. I think everybody, everybody here seems nice. I think in the future, I think Kultel's got the right of it.

If somebody has like a cool fact like that that they seem excited, you give them inspiration or you give them advantage on like their first attack or something like that. And that way you reward that kind of enthusiasm without encouraging people to every single time a new animal pops up, they have an animal time. Yeah. You do an investigation check to see where its hearts are. Yeah.

May I suggest that they all have to go on a nice family trip to the aquarium? Oh, that's great. Oh, that's great. I love the aquarium. I should get croissants at the food court. Yeah, you guys can eat croissants at the food court. Yeah, you guys can eat croissants.

You can choose. You can just eat them rather than letting the birds come for you. That. Even the safety of your home. And then it's also like a nice time for like the marine biologist to like really get out all their facts. Yeah.

And then you can decide which ones you will want to be relevant in your campaign. I do think you all do have to touch the stingrays though. Wow. Everyone needs to get a little hurt. Yeah, a little hurt. Is that like a duck sentence? No, no, no.

There are stingrays that will hurt you real bad, but like usually aquariums have a little touch pool. Yeah, you can pass. Okay, okay. Yeah, maybe one of the mess to get stung. This is a nice family. You're out for blood. Just take the croissanting. Dude, this is a nice family. You're out for blood.

Just take the croissanting. Okay, I get it. On this point, we're just goading you into the croissanting. You can tell, we're pushing you. We're talking about such bad punishments. The court obviously has a surplus of baked goods. We just want to offer. The croissanting has morphed for me from being like,

from being like, oh, we're gonna make birds descend upon your house to a public like, a public stoning, but with Chris. That's just truly so soft. In my Lord, I am proud of you. Take the salt off. Take the salt off. And then, like, the worst part about it is that, like, afterwards you just find crumbs on

you for, like, a couple of hours and stuff. I've got rid of all these. I've been forbid you put on lip gloss before you get croissante. That would be rough. It's a shame. It's a shame scene from Game of Thrones for you to put a lot of on. You just marched through it. Everyone's throwing croissants on the side.

Just gentle airy. You are allowed to try and catch one on your mouth if you get hungry. Yeah, you're going. Just sobbing while getting croissants thrown at you, but still eating those. That's like, take a huge bite while sobbing. That's a little flage get in your tears. That's a great question though. Like, are they good croissants or are these like airport quality?

I mean, honestly, I think every croissant is a good croissant. I don't know. And they just do that. We think you damage croissants are weapons. Every croissant is a good croissant. Postings are animals. I never had a croissant. I didn't like it.

Oh, shit, these croissants have got tallyed at the night. It's in the water. Fuck. It's so dangerous. Oh, Lord. All right, why don't we do one more? Okay, so ordered another croissanting. Our last case.

If you can believe it. Very apropos, actually. This is a, both a case and a confession, kind of at the same time. So we can step into church as well. Okay, great. Wesley B writes, may it please the illustrious Supreme Crit Justices

and the late Jakey Baylif? Late Jakey? That's a reference to a nickname I have on another podcast. Don't you guys worry about it. Okay. Okay. No, explain it. Yeah, explain it.

Explain it. That's a good punishment. Someone has to listen to that actually. Yeah. Someone has to listen to that podcast. Someone has to listen to a Jakey, how it's podcast? You have to listen to every Jake her with podcasts. There's everything done a day.

Oh, wow. You have to talk to Jake about Formula One for an hour. That is the podcast it's about. You have to work out how to get through all of it in a day and listen to it that speed. Like it's like time 16 speed of every single Jake Howard podcast. Might be the only way to get through it. I present a crime and a confessional.

We were playing a pre-written campaign to sent into Avernus. Yeah. And during a dungeon exploration, we cornered a sniveling little rat of an NPC to question him. Oh my god, Mervis Miling. I can't watch to me. I love sniveling rats.

I've already heard a voice. Please, don't. Let me. I want to be a cat. I love snuggling rats. You already hear the voice. Please, don't let me go. Oh, man. I want to play. I love encountering one of Merce Cowards. I'm gonna bite you. I didn't like get like you. I'm gonna freaking bite you.

And a shifty little coward. Let me shifty little guy. And then you let them go off to like a little, and they just turn around and immediately throw shit. You know something and you're like, well obviously now we're just gonna kill you. Give me your croissants! I rolled a NAT 20 intimidation, and the DM told me the NPC refuses to tell us anything.

So we killed him. Here's the confession. The copy of Descent Into Avernus was that we're playing from is my copy, and after the session when everyone had gone home, I flipped through the book to the part we're playing and found the NPC in question was supposed to tell us everything on a DC-15 intimidation or persuasion. I know I've done wrong, but in my wrong doing,

have I uncovered a more egregious miscarriage of justice? I await your judgment. Wow. It's like going through someone's phone and finding out that they're cheating. Yeah, I think you're both a little wrong. I think that your DM was wrong, but I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're-

I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're-

I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're-

I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- I think you're- You became a dirtier, even smaller at yourself. Yeah. Yeah. It was you alone. Oh, it was you. It was you. I am for Shannelself. If the play of Flick Through to that page, and there was a note, there's some mirror. From the, yeah.

There was a note from the NPC, like, I can see you. Yeah. Congratulations on your investigation, Chef. This truly is a descent into a vernis. Wow. You have gone so far from Dice Christ. Yeah, you are in Dice Hell. Yeah.

That's like a very specific problem that I've never thought of before. Is it like players could just look through the adventure and find out what's going on? Yeah. Like it's just like cheat wiki their way through a D&D game. I would say that the DM was wrong, but it's not wrong for DMs to change things from source books. Yes, totally. But the DM was wrong to just give you

truly nothing on a Nat 20 intimidation. Yeah, that seems... I wonder if it's just a matter of being bad at like improvising, just like not thinking that your guy was gonna get captured. Yeah, I'm just not thinking your guy was gonna get captured. I'm just not thinking your guy was gonna get captured. And then I don't know, I could see a situation where they're like, tell us everything. And I'm like, you got a Nat 20, the guy,

it misses himself. It's gonna say it's like so skid, he pauses out. That's probably fine. There's a way to describe it. But give him the rat. For a Nat 20, that's your pet now. Yeah, or he just like, the rat has a heart attack. Yeah.

Right. I just find them. Ah! But it's spent so long dying from the whole attack. It goes on the way too long. Yeah. I can't reveal anything, because I got too much foam in my mouth. It's so graphic. Yeah, I do think that the DM was not doing great there.

Yeah, well, I think the DM sinned, but you like went against the church. Like, you did something more grave here. Yeah, you like, I'm definitely on the side that I don't think the DM did anything wrong here. Like, in the sense that like, I think it's- By getting absolutely nothing for a nat 20 intimidation. Annoying, but I'm also like, if that DM had like a very specific thing in mind that was ultimately gonna be more satisfying, although is it going against

ice-crimes to deny the nat 20? Yeah. But that's what I'm saying is like, the DM didn't even need to give information. There's just need to give some... Something, some rewards. I do think it's just a matter of maybe them not being a good improviser.

Yeah. Because I, I don't know, there is a world where he's not an actor. Or just a conflict in a moment. If that character doesn't know anything, then it kind of doesn't matter if you get a net 20 or not. Right, but that character knew something. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying is,

I'm not arguing that the DM should have given any information. I'm saying that they just should have done something to make that not 20 fun. That's true. Which is why I suggested a heart attack. Perfect. Perfect. I think you were wrong.

You were wrong for looking in the book. The DM was also wrong for DM in the 20th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think there needs to be a mass cleansing ritual. I think you need to put a croissant inside your descent into a vernis book and slam the book cover repeatedly.

But it's so much rolling the croissants on and you book with it. Yeah, yeah, get that book all greasy. You should not be reading it as the player. And I think that the DM's punishment should be to put a really smart rat to nose everything that's going on here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, easy going rat that just kind of knows every. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you get an actual rat and put glasses on here. Yeah, yeah. Like a Ralph Fessie mouse. Yeah, an easy going rat that just kind of knows everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you get an actual rat and put glasses on it

and it would be like the table mask. I would love the croissant. Just a white animal cruelty. Really terrifying for everyone. Yeah, give the rat a croissant. Give the rat some glasses. If you give the rat a croissant, it's gonna want some milk to go with it.

Yeah, that's the same. I'm just picturing like putting a cage of a rat on the table and being like, guys, big news taking off the cloth. The rat immediately gets out, starts running underfoot. Everyone's waking out, the rat is sitting. You guys hate it. But the rat does have vital information for the camera. Like, that's just be glaring.

It's wearing a little collar that has all of the more you never know. Has the HP of the next group you're gonna fight? And the only you can set- You're the DM, but it's at someone else's house. You just loosed a rat. Just fighting in the back of the rat. You were the rat.

You just juckled into yourself like how cool this is gonna be. Just a little rat. Just a little rat that you're handling. A loose rat as well. A little bit of tape for Paul Kool-Wayne. What's up? You're just riding in the back seat. Yeah.

It's a trick. And then sat at the table, but like wanting to wait a minute before you reveal the rat. So like, you're set at the table, but wanting to wait a minute before you reveal the rats, so like, you're trying to start and just clearly shifting, you're going to rat in your jump call something. Hey, what's going on with your hoodie pop? Nothing. Just, just, just, out, like, just, out,

I'm just excited, I'm excited, I'm excited, out. Now, where's some food? It's another thing to add to the lawn sign. In this house, we believe rats should ride a moopers. Should ride a moopers. Should ride loose in a moopers. In this house, we believe should ride a moose. Should ride a moose. Should ride a moose in a moose. If you have to believe in loose, terrified rats.

That's right, loose. That's right, loose. That's like the time. That's the time. You guys are gonna lose. They're not gonna want you to do it, but if you go into the back end of Uber, if you go to your settings, you can talk.

You can do the rats or a lot of you loose. It's like requesting a quiet car. You can do like the AC the rat is alive, you lose it out. You can do it. It's like requesting a quiet car. You can do like the AC is on, no music, and I have a rat. AC is on. Rat's can be lose. Quiet ride, lose rat. I have a rat. Do you lose it?

I don't know what you're a goddamn thing about it. Give my rat some gum, you. Oh good lord. Okay. You guys have feeding a tiny watermelon tear loose. Dispriced. Absorbs you as long as you bring a rat in the Uber. Or you can dig it or you can take a croissant. Only one thing you've toggled. But I love the idea that if you toggle it, it also means that you're no longer responsible for the Ratt. So like, if you lose the Ratt and Uber, like,

sorry. I don't know where it is, but I gotta get out. This is my own Ratt. I'll break it would be so. Getting into an Uber and then the driver being like, oh, hey, just so you know, my last ride was a loose Ratt. And there is a rat who still. I think it's in there.

I think they made me left the rat. That's why my rating is a 1.2. Yeah. It would be a great game. It would be a great game show to see who could get an Uber to actually come to them in a dance hall. Is everyone at once calls an Uber and then then you have to instantly message the Uber, and be like, hey, just a heads up.

I have a rat. It's loose and you don't elaborate. Well, like, I'm trying to send my rat to my friend's house. I'm not going to be riding in the Uber. I'll meet you up front. It's my friend, pick up the rat, the other son. I'm a rat. I'm a rat.

The rat's wearing a leash, but he chewed through some of it. So no problem, sis. Just hang on by a few threads. There's no way to handle this rat. He's loose. Is she going to be loose in the cob? But don't worry, my friend will pick him up. I won't give you a hundred and fifty percent tip.

This is really going to rat my rating, isn't it? I wanna see if I can book a rat uba to take some. Deliver a rat to Jack. We get a rat. Don't try this at home, kids. Just explaining the situation. Oh shit, and see if they still show up. Yeah.

Oh, gorgeous. There would just, you would just get like a question mark back. And then you'd further elaborate and then you'd get a canceled I guess and then the extension of this game is that the animal just gets progressively bigger and bigger until you Like we try a loose rat then we book up like a loose pulsome A raccoon is so scary There you reach a point though where I think like the driver's gonna be okay with it Like if if I'm driving in Uber and someone's like hey, can I let a capy-bar a loose in your back seat?

Uber ex-self my loose moose please They're so dangerous It's really so bad. You want to be able to get a running start to go you exactly Shit in a car. Yeah. A bruise in the back seat. I feel fucking fine. Yeah, I'm fine, dude.

Yeah, get in with those horns. You'll get stuck. You can't get any momentum. You can get any momentum with your freaking awareness. I'm hoping you'll be a best. Don't say that man. You're making it angry. It skulls too thick for me to hurt it.

But I don't think it's a stalemate. Me and a moose in a car. Me and a moose in a carola. That's a sensible sedan. I put my money on nobody. It's a WWE event. Goose losing the car with pain. All right, with that, we're gonna wrap this one up.

Thank you all so much for listening. Jasper William Carr, where can the people find you? You can find me on my social medias where I'll be wrestling mooses. In cars. In cars, so they can't get momentum. It's so to say. A moose without momentum? It was actually the moose that pitched the idea to me.

So that's not animal cool to me. This is smart moose. The moose will give you information. Super smart moose. They give me so much information about what I'm quite in life. But you can find me at JW Under School Cart, right? And you can find three black halflings at three.

That's the number three black halflings. We do lots of cool stuff. And sometimes we have these guys on our show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Give them a lissy, please. Sure.

Whatever a lissy is, I don't actually know what that is, but I'd love one. I'd have class up maybe. Sweet guys, does anybody have anything else they'd like to plug? I'd love to plug a Patisserie Claude, one of my favorite places in New York City to get a croissant, so go check those guys out. Oh shit. Okay.

I'll give a shout out. Go ahead. I'll plug Bread Black and Los Angeles because they make gluten-free croissants that are delicious. Oh yeah, the black sheep Manchester actually, yeah, I'll plug bread block and Los Angeles because they make gluten-free croissants that are delicious. Oh yeah, the black sheep Manchester actually, yeah, I'll plug that. That's pretty tight, cupid-shope. I'll round it out with Pinyov and Eagle Rock,

great croissant there. My full mouth. I don't know that I have a croissant rack. I feel terrible. Can you even just... Starbucks has pretty good ones. It's gonna say the Lasgras Lanovaet is probably like a shitty Starbucks one.

Those are great. Yeah, plug Starbucks, man. Yeah. It's gonna say the Las Graslanah that is probably like a shitty Starbucks one. Those are great. Yeah, plug Starbucks, man. Yeah. I don't want to. I beg of you, don't make me. I don't want to. Well, don't go Starbucks.

That'll be my phone. Yeah. And we got some live show still. Yeah. Nashville, Atlanta and Savannah. I believe Savannah is sold out. Atlanta. Also sold out. So it's just Nashville, Atlanta and Savannah, I believe Savannah is sold out. Atlanta is sold out. So it's just Nashville, I think.

Just Nashville. Yeah. But there's some other ones. I think there's DC, there's DC Philly and Boston too. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait for that. Just go to noudpod.com slash live. Make sure you bring your money.

So everyone. Mm-hmm. You should probably don't bring your money. If you throw a Chris on it, I will have you thrown out. You bring your cross on everyone. You should probably don't bring your cross on. If you throw a croissant at me, I will have you thrown out. But do you know you will be welcome in three by coughing one out?

If you throw a cross on a mouth. Do you only want though? Let's talk it silly. If one person does it, that's the bit over. I'm gonna add to the sign, if you throw a croissant at me, I will press charges. In this house. In this charges. In this house. In this house.

In this house. Yeah. Amen. In this house. In this house and non-pudishment, Chris on. The oceans are animals. If you throw a Chris on it, I'm gonna press charges. Insane.

So you guys, you can follow us on social media that we're interviewing out use at Siege Merfsme, at Caldice Gullible, at A Extra Demi, at called this gullible adios for Emily at your curvitzis jake and at JW on this go-kaw right is JW underscore cart right is Jasper and you can treat about the show using hashtag nad pod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d We are the nation, we are the nation! It's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent, lovely, superb counsel of elders.

Let's get right to it, folks. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Hussie, later McSkater, Matt M. Jordan D.J. Carter W. Live A. Daniel G. The J-Pod. Dylan B. who is selling a galad trading card for 100 brown leaves. Dungeon Mama.

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Oh, I would love to see that sniveling little rat that was described in the descent to a Verna's case. That would be great. Thank you. Bloops! Carlyanne! Addy-K! AP Cleric! Mori-P! Spam Gaming, who's just a raccoon that has a gun. Congratulations, spam gaming. Happy for you.

Connor S. Christopher J. Pebblepont. To the Jew Riders, my first D&D party may all our adventures be wondrous, thank you for being my friends. Celil, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber, Dextrous, Sullivan, H, Trub, Hop Dropper, Sydney, Tatum, Jack Hubert, Crabster Champion of Cros, scuttling sideways, towards tomorrow, I salute you with my big clawed hand. Fenderay, garbled the moist, Lindsay W. Juicy Kiwi, who finally converted to the camaraderie

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Mr. D. Dana Daisy. Sean J. Mr. Sillyhead. Ethan B. Monster Captain Renee S, Hop the Dancing Rabbit, Hopes Dagger, the only Dagger of Hope. Olivia the Enchanting Bard will totally be making money and a grand novel of the ducting tales with an on-mago all-the-stop show. Blue Slade, the Artificer. Michaela R. Riley S. FICO, Angry Wheat. The game itself, just trying to find himself. Good luck.

Tony G. Corbo's calamitous Comshot hashtag CCC forever. Sorry Jake. Josh Horn's B. Jack the Jack's Jinks and Rogue on the run with the Bohumiaballs. Mango and Fanatus. Rented Mewls, aka, he who made Doug Divergent, Darknut. Trotter! The Burninator.

Clementine T. Caleb L. Simone tried whiskey and liked it Morgan. This message has been brought to you by Ferries in support of hashtag CCC. Honk, the arcane trickster goose, hashtag CCC, parentheses, sorry Jake. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian with a bad back, Papa Wookie, MJ, the BFG, drinking tea by the sea, little Ferret Powell, Samantha K, Kronus Maximus, Gino T,

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We will see you here again next week. Bye-bye! you