Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Falling Corpses and Legal Loopholes (w/ SungWon Cho!)

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

AD-FREE EP FOR $5+ PATRONS!Dungeon Court is back in session, featuring the newly minted Justice, SungWon Cho!) Join Justices Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and Cho, along with Brandliff Jake, as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Dungeon. Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon. Dungeon. Dungeon. Dungeon, Dunn. Welcome to Dungeon Court, everybody. Dun, Dun, Dun.

We are your Supreme Crit Justices, Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and the lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, bailiff, Jay Kerwitz. Oh, that's right. Even lower than usual, I would say. Yeah, this is actually a low chair. Yeah, we do have you in a low chair, but we have in a high chair, Not a high chair for babies, but a high chair. A high chair, a little bit.

We got special guest song one show. Thank you for having me. Welcome, welcome. Do you have anything disparaging you like to say to our bailiff? Oh yeah, go for it. I've just met you. What's something I could disparage him with? What's like it's just something right off the bat?

Yeah, see if you guys can think of anything. He really loves brands. Brands? You know how society really wants you to love brands? And then you're a contrarian and you're like, I never would. Jake unabashedly loves brands. What are your top three brands? My top three brands, Delta, Starbucks, Toyota.

Toyota's pretty rad. I mean, they make a reliable car. If I had to go to war for any of the three, I feel like if you Toyota is the one. I am kind of a slut for Delta, though. I will say. I picked one and I just stuck with it. Right. They haven't done me wrong.

You have to. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So I guess that's kind of a compliment. The Starbucks one is pretty common. controversy. Really?

Yeah. I think we're ordering is just I believe we're boycotting. Are we? Yeah. Okay. A lot of union stuff.

Yeah. Great. Well, look, I had something from a cake cup today. So I am putting, pretty wasteful. Really. It's at my house.

Sorry. Growing my own beans. And then you put them in cake cups? That's right. All right. Jake, take it away. We've got to swear in our guests here. We certainly do.

Someone. Do you mind reading the oath to reset you? I sung one show do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the players as well as the DMs against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation of my own volition, and that I will well and faithfully embark upon this noble pursuit of justice. So help me gods. Okay.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Folks, that's a professional voice actor reading that oath. It is never resonated as such. Yeah. Jay, could you sit a little lower, please? That voice is as gravelly as a forerunner, dude. Hear ye, hear ye.

Crit is now in session the Honorable Supreme Crit Crit Justice's Axford Murphy, Tanner. I wish I knew a brand of Starbucks coffee so that I could say, wow, that was rich as a insert name of coffee here. Yeah, a venti machado. Jake, your phone is buzzing with all the points you're getting. Ding, ding, ding.

Don't unionize guys. He crossed the line of picketers to get his coffee this morning. Out of my way. They pay him in points. My name is Jek, but I said Josh, so I knew it would be spelled right. Okay. Our first case comes from Lord Connick. Lord Connick writes, greetings to all esteemed justices and a hearty was-up to my lowly homie jork.

Wow. Okay. This case begins with a member of our party dangling from an airship needing rescue while the rest of us were on the ground. the party quickly determined who could fly up to help. Without any way to fly, my wife and I were forced to keep our characters on the ground and too far away to assist. The other four party members, however, flew up to rescue our ally and confront the villain. One other PC was secretly a dragon, but that is a story for another time. Yeah.

Happens, you know. During this encounter, one of the characters on the airship threw a corpse overboard. With this, the DM instructed me to roll a dexterity saving throw. When I asked why, I was told I had been struck by the fall. falling corpse and due to the height would take maximum falling damage. Okay. Despite objections that the airship had been moving away from our position for a while, the ruling stood.

I failed the save and took the damage. This resulted in my level three character taking double their maximum, resulting in their death. Oh, shit. Yeah, so that's not good. Your DM hates you. The incident continues to be brought up as a joke at the table years later. I asked the court,

am I wrong for being upset by how this was hands? Or should I be more open to the humor of the situation? I think that, okay, you deserved some kind of luck check for it to fall on you to begin with. Right. Yeah. That's also, it would be so hard to hit someone with a body. Yeah, I mean, it's funny. But yeah, if we think about the logic of it.

Like, so you're saying they were down here and the body fell and it just happened to land on that. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Hundreds of feet up from a ship floating in a sky. You would also presumably be looking at, if there was a battle up there and your friends were there. You would have a lot of time to get out of the way. Me, non-adventure, me in real life, I think I could dodge a body falling out of a plane.

I think I'd be like, holy fuck, there's a guy falling out of the plane. Guys, I think we have a solution here, which is that every table needs, like, some goof damage. And goof damage should never exceed, like, too detailed. Oh, that's fair. For the bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The situation is not humorous unless it's, like, a D-6 or something. Yeah, like, you move away at the last second, and this guy, like, freaking conksy in the head of his foot.

I also think goof damage should be non-lethal. Oh, okay. Because that's not very satisfying to lose an entire character to a joke. Yeah, exactly. Like the bit is funny, but yeah, once it's permanent damage like that, that's pretty fucked. Right, because then you can't even make fun of the character. If a court falls on me and it just hurts me a lot, you guys can remind me of that for the rest of my life. But if it kills me, then I would hope you guys would be sad.

Was there like a solemn funeral for the third chair right after? It sounds like they just made fun of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, they had to bury the guy that fell from the aircraft. too. Oh, double funeral. They raised it to the good eulogy

on him too. There is like a clever irony to it too. Right. Alonis Morissette style killed by a corpse. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Isn't it ironic? Isn't it ironic? Yeah. That's a line from the song is killed by corpse, right? Yeah. I think it was edited out. Right.

It's in the first draft for sure. And she talks about airships and shit. Right. There's like a whole steam pumping. It's like rain on your wedding day, but the rain is a guy. Is that how it goes? Yep.

Okay. Pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that's a guy. The rain is the corpse raining down from the heavens to kill you on your wedding dead. I think that's the bridge. It's weird when she says don't roll a death save in the song. It would be so bad to get hit skull to skull with someone.

It's just like the impact that would happen of getting a head on it. That would kill you for sure, but the odds of that happening are crazy. I still think you would see it. I think you would hear it. I think that it would sound like a little missile. The whizzing view. Okay, let's everyone go around and give their impression of what we think a corpse falling from the sky would sound like. Here, I'll start.

Go for it. Yeah. Please. Pretty good. Okay. I don't know how to follow that. And then I step out of the way. They go.

Yeah. So when you want to go? Sure. So they're already dead, right? Yeah. Yeah. I guess people are like, oh, whoa. And then I look and go, is that a guy?

No? Yeah. Well, I guess I'll just, and then you just die, right? Yeah. I think what I do, that was good. That was great. I look at my wife, who's also another play who's right next to me. That's right.

I say, honey, is that a guy? She says, no, you're perfectly fine. Just stay right where you are. Something's going on here, guys. The wife was in on it. The wife was in on it. That's what I'm thinking. She was the beacon.

Okay, mine is. So it's exhaling just a ton of trapped gas. Yeah, it's like really. of wind. And then I'm like, I said two pumps, two pumps classic syrup. Ube home topper. You get a living wage. How'd you get that nice little collared shirt?

Wouldn't happen. Airship was Delta, I'm saying. No one falls out of the Delta. Exactly. So we need one more for Pond Five. we're licensing all of these to a sound effect website so Murphy if you could do it.

Yeah. Wait, is he alive or is that? He was alive for a second. He was alive for a second. He sounded like he was exiting an airlock. Oh, I like that. Wait, that's the guy falling out. Yeah, that's a guy.

And he died in the air. Mortally wounded and then was thrown and then died of shock. He's all like. Yeah, the adrenaline. And it triggered him to come back on for like two seconds. And then going skull to skull on this player. Yeah.

Which sounds like two coconuts hitting. Would you rather be struck by a corpse or a live person? Oh. Live person. Because they could kind of look at you apologetic. Like you would find a moment of humor right before. Would you find humor? Or humanity.

I was going to say, I think you would find like a beautiful, almost like a meat cue. Right before you ended. It's a death cute. I'd rather, I'd rather get hit by a corpse because as I'm about to hit me, there is a moment where you're like, I should try to help, right? You're right, because they would be screaming, get out of the way. Oh, and you're like, hero, I'll save it. And then we'll go sculpting. I'll get you.

I'll get you. Okay, I think I have a punishment for the DM. Oh, yeah. They have to. Yeah, we're all against this DM, right? Yeah, absolutely. Because even if you're very powerful, like, big, bad, evil guy was up there and, like, chucked someone at you. Yeah.

Right. If someone's aiming for you, you still get a thing. If someone's aiming for you, I'd still say, even with, like, telekinetic power, it still would be, like, hard. The precision required. Yeah, the precision required would be nuts. I think this gets more funnier if you add more roles, too. Yeah. You're like, give a perception check because you've failed that.

Like, okay, give a luck check. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you've rolled, like, sub five, like four or five times, then eventually, um, you're someone lands on you and kills you, that's different. And that'd be an incredible. That'd be fair play.

You're like, yeah, I fucked up. That'd be a great story. Yeah. This makes me want to make mechanics for the Austin Power steamroller scene. Just to be like, you see the steamroller coming. That's a perception check. Dex already saved to get out of the way. Constitution as it runs over you.

Fine. I'll make a Dr. Evil PC. I can't wait for your Austin Powers module. Fine. Someone, you GM, right? sometimes like you run very casually okay would you do this to one of your players

no I like for me it's about making sure that they're having a good time and that yeah I can be mean to my players for sure but it it shouldn't feel like bullshit so right yeah I'm with you guys in that if enough rules had happened then it'd be great yeah one role like that that's a really good like GM statement

I'm picturing like you on like a billboard with your arms crossed yeah it shouldn't feel like bullshit that's pretty fucking good yeah what is this billboard for does it matter oh it's for delta

Toyota and starvash what are they all doing together I'm buying the hat can you imagine that like a tricorn hat with the trifecta brands or what if instead of a tricor hat it was just three brims oh three brims

a helicopter hat that'd be very okay I was a rich I'm not going to sentence this DM to make a sound effect bank of all of our sound effects, but now I'm going to sentence them to make a three-brimmed tricorn baseball hat. Oh, that's really good. Cool. Yeah.

What would be on the hats? I mean, I guess it would be whichever your three favorite brands, whatever they are, and you can, uh, whichever one you're shopping at. Three problematic faces. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You can't just have like cool brands up there.

Little mom and pop shops. No, no, no, no, no. But it has to be like, they have to. You're wearing it. Yeah. It seems like a weird political statement. They have to have issued an apology within the last five years. But I do think they should be like a propeller aspect to it where you can like rotate the brems?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking like if you're Jake and you're going to Starbucks, you switch it to be that one. And then when you're getting it. What if it was motorized and it's spun? Oh. You press it and it like locks in. It locks in. And it's got NFTs in it.

NFTs in it. Well, NFTs too. NFTs would be great. Then you're actually accruing cash after you're wearing it. Because I haven't looked at my metal wallet. You bought it for $500,000. Your apes are a mess, dude. But it's got like a sensor in there so that when you're at Starbucks,

you just like you just boop your hat instead. And you know that you kind of like kiss to the brim to the reader. I think we're on to something here. I think we're really on, yeah, a hat wallet that has all of your profiles saved. And I think that part of the. of the punishment should be they have to try to get onto shark tink. Right? Because this would be kind of an embarrassing one to try to pitch.

The brand hat? Yeah. The brand loyalty hat. Some people just love generic brands. The tri-brim. And the sharks say, what do you mean? The tri-brim brand. So it's you on stage wearing like ill-fitting khakis and you're saying, this hat is brimming

with possibility. Your khakis are huge. Frankly, they're docking. Frankly, they're dockers. Don't call them tacky. They're huge in the wrong places, too. Really roomy at the calves. Okay, so worded.

I think we landed on something. Our next case comes from old bad eyes. Dear wonderful judges and good slash bad boy, Jake, thank you. Whoa. I bring to the court a case of character assassination through retcon. Oh. After years of listening to podcasts, I managed to join my first game of D&D with a group that was already 14 levels deep into a campaign.

Please don't tell me. I'm going to predict that. They're like, you start at level one. And they're like, that's some bullshit. Murph is our pre-cog. He likes to predict with the case.

I like to guess how often are you correct? What the maniacs did here. This jaded man has seen it all. How often is he correct? I think that I remember the times he's not correct. So I want to say he's not that often correct. Which is so memorable. Well,

I actually think for sure I'm wrong because this is about retconning. Yeah. My initial thing is just like, Uh-oh, the thing I'm sensing is that it's going to be de-leveled, but that's not what happened. The thing you can know about Murph is he has two naked-balled brothers that are just out there in the world somewhere. Okay. And like, without them. Just drinking them.

Oh, right. Yeah. I was like, how does this play into the bit? I thought you were trying to say that Murph and his brothers were like the fates. I mean, I think that's what the precogs are supposed to be, right? Cool. Whoa. I haven't seen.

We have to watch it. I do have to watch it. We really have to watch it. We'll do it for a mix back. So when you want to watch it, you want to come, we're going to stop the show now and just go watch. And so I watch what? Minority Report. Wait, I did not realize that what we're talking about.

I have seen Minority Report. I mean, it's been a long time. Because they're in like milk baths, right? Yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah. So we were doing, we've done it a bit. Yeah, Caldwell was bringing up something from a bit.

When Raco was on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've done this bit several times. I thought everyone knew about the milk bath. I'm sorry. I have to give you kudos because you knew the word precog without knowing minority report. Were you just going along with my birthday report?

shit. No, I just figured. Precognition. Yeah. Okay. See, kudos deserved. Yeah, thank you. Way to go. Anyway, this person writes, I created a chaos sorcerer Seder named Forgo, who was pretty much Toby from Naruto if he was played by Caldwell. Okay. This is an interesting choice because what I'm hearing is they're a level 14 campaign, which makes me think that they're really deeply invested in their character after 14 levels together. Let's see what happens with Forgo. Did they say Toby from Narato? That's, I know who that is.

Yeah, it's before the reveal of Obito, right? That's what I was going to say. Oh, are you like a weeb? I just, just Naruto really. Oh, okay. Real, uh, real casual. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the time he has the mask and he's actually goofy.

Yes. Yeah. Oh, that guy. Okay. All right, so he's goofy at this point. It's a goofy character doing Coldwell level shenanigans. Right, yeah. Huge red flags.

He's wearing it three-built baseball out. On the day of my first session, everyone was happy to find have me join the table. Drinks were flowing, moods were high. And when Forgo was introduced, I absolutely crushed it. I was throwing out disintegrations left and right. I broke a curse on another PC by swapping places with her sword as a bit. And I ended up one v1 with one of the bosses while the party handled the other.

At the end of the day, everyone went home giddy with how much fun the session was. Everyone except for the DM. For when we sat down the next session, he hit us with, I actually got too drunk last time. And I forgot about legendary resistances. I spent way too much time creating these monsters to have them go out like chumps. So we're going to redo last session. What? That sucks so bad.

Who could have seen this. Everyone said okay. And we began to run it back. I mean, what else do you say in that situation? I would be like, all right. I would you say please no. I might say, please no. You're brand new to the table.

You crushed it last time. and they're like, that session didn't count for forego. And that is when things spell apart for old forego. Uh-oh. This time around, instead of hitting like a dump truck, Forgo's introduction hit like a wet fart. Oh, but that's setting you up for such. Wait, so not only, you had to pretend you don't know it.

You had to reintroduce your character. You got to start it like in the middle of the battle. Yeah, at the very least, just to be like, go to any role initiative. Right. Even that sucks. Every single one of my spells was met with a legendary resistance for eight hours straight.

Oh, God. This turns total against two bosses that died the turn after I was done burning their legendary resistances. After this session, the trend of Forgo doing nothing but burning legendary resistances continue to the point that I started to target only the boss's minions. And when I did attack the bosses, it would be with a lower level spell that the DM wouldn't use a legendary resistance to block. Your Honors, I understand that legendary resistances are part of the game, but part of me still feels bad that Forgo never managed to reclaim his big dog energy. Is it really all that fair to retcon an entire session just because the DM forgot to use legendary resistance? Not at all.

It's psycho. Yeah. I don't even need to know what legendary resistances are. For me, it's like, so you guys have recorded a bunch of shit before. We ever had it where you just like, you know, you lose the session. You know, or something happened in the audio or whatever. And you have to re-record. We sure do.

It is the worst feeling in the entire world. Do you know, we actually really, the only time that we've had that happen twice. Yeah. One time we were magically able to save the audio. Okay. And then the other time, I straight up, wouldn't play the same character twice. I refused because I was like, this is going to feel inauthentic. We did change.

Yeah. So I literally had it be a... It was a session where I was introducing a character. Okay. Yeah. And then we lost the audio. Yeah. And then I was like, it's going to lose that improv spark.

It'll lose that four-go-magic. Was the new one better or equal or... I could never say they're all my babies. Okay. Sure. Sure. They were both... I mean, I remember like when we played that first session,

And this was when we were doing Eldermore. It's like our gothic horror campaign. Okay. Yeah. And I remember being very excited for the character that you had initially. But then Brimstone Billy came on the scene. She was also great. Yeah, yeah.

I think it was less like one was better than the other. And it was more just like it was a perfectly split timeline. Emily forcibly created two new timelines in that moment. Okay. But what have you done? Have you had to like redo it? I mean, there's like podcast stuff and things like that. There was one time someone didn't press record on there.

We did two ones. We have that actually. That's happened. And so it is, you feel this like, hit in your stomach. You're like, fuck, especially if it was a really good conversation. Yeah. Yeah. So just that alone, guilty or whatever you say on this. Guilty. No guilty. Execution. Yeah.

We do that. Especially eight hours? I'm not very nice friends. I'm not fucking doing eight hours again just because you forgot one thing. I think you could still say up top. Like I didn't use any legendary resistances. That will happen again. Also, you could just like, if there's mechanics that you didn't get to use in that fight, you're just like, cool. I remember that for next time. I get to use that on this next

monster that we build up as the next bad guy. Sorry, guys. I got drunk and everyone had fun and that's not supposed to happen. Hey guys, I said some stupid stuff, so we're just going to redo the hang actually. So just meet me at the Wendy's again. We're all going to just take it from the top. I thought it's real funny zingers to say during back rooms this time, so we're going to the movie again.

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like as a GM, you should, at least my mentality is like, you want everyone to have a good time. And if it's slightly at your expense or whatever, like, who cares, right guy?

As long as it doesn't feel like bullshit, right? Yeah. Yeah. When you were forced explaining forego, I was like, is this going to be some just like chaotic thing that you did or something that was like very silly?

But it just sounds like you kicked ass and then the party had a great time. I think we always, we've made a lot of decisions where it's kind of like, if the DM, up if it's in like favor of the players, that's cool. Just like go with that. You don't need to retcon stuff to just like deflate everyone. Because it won't even feel like a win.

If you're even just retconning a turn that can feel really shitty. Yeah. If you're sitting there being like, oh, actually on my turn, I should have hit you while you were down to kill your character. That doesn't feel cool. That doesn't feel like the end of someone's story. That feels like you're editing it like mid-show. Yeah.

I don't know. It's just strange. Sometimes I like realize I should have done something. And then I just sit there and I'm like, I gotta take that L. Yeah. Yeah, you just take it. Yeah,

I think recconning only works when you're doing it in service of a player. Yeah. You're like, oh shit, I killed you or something with this. It shouldn't have happened.

My bad. Yeah, yeah. You technically owe that potion that should have given you right. I gave you 10 hit points. You should have gotten 20 hit points. Yeah.

You should be up with five hit points or something like that. That I think is like fine. Yeah, that's when recconning, I think works when you're like helping your players out. But when you're recconning to like,

for yourself. And also, like, I worked too hard on these just for them to go out like chumps. It's very funny. And it's, I would want to write someone saying that to write a psycho. Yeah. This wasn't even, like, a tiny little mistake.

Like, this DM got drunk and forgot legendary resistances for eight hours. But you can just, you can just reuse mechanics. That's what I don't understand at all. It's just, if the bad guy was a druid, you're just like, cool, there's another druid. That's also a fucking bad guy. I would also, just because part of what this person

is talking about is the frustration. of legendary resistances. Yeah, which is frustrating. It is so frustrating. What is that, by the way? So instead of making like a role where you might have to do like a dexterity saving throw or something for the character to take less damage,

high level bad guys like NPCs and stuff have legendary resist so that they automatically resist a few times. It's a limited number. They'll usually have three, but it means that when there's a really powerful spell, then like let's say a spell that would like stun them, they have three chances to just be like, I failed, no, I'm going to choose to succeed.

And that way, you're big, that way when you fight Sephiroth at the end, it's not just like, uh, he got turned into a shoe. You know what I mean? So it's because he rolled bad, that's that. Well, he can get turned into a shoe if you do it four times. Yeah, right. So if you keep doing it, you have to keep burning it.

That's what they say. And then you can turn Sephora off on the shoe. Got it. Who cares? Don't make your friends replay eight hours. Yes, exactly. Yeah, certainly. They turned Seperoth into a shoe.

It was fucking hilarious. It rocked. That's certainly, I feel like the crux of this is retconning and this really insane choice. But I do want to just give a little bit of advice for legendary resistances, which is like, team up with other people who have like save spells to try to share the burden of legendary resistances. And also sometimes like sometimes there is a lower level spell. Like something like hold person is only level three, I think. But that's one that they would choose to save.

Right. So it's like you can save your six. You can start out. with like try to do a lower level one so that by the time they're burned you can do higher level oh that's cool but you kind of do need to work with your whole party to burn them otherwise it's so joyless yeah your DM's metagaming so you got to start metagaming but also that has nothing to do with what really happened which is a person retconning an entire yeah it does have a lot to do with it because like at the crux of it is this kind of like legendary like forgo will meet legendary resistances going forward at this point I don't trust this DM to have a regular number of

legendary resistance. No. I think they have it out for Forgo. I think they're literally like he's got five legendary resistances. He's got six. From the story it sounded like there were like multiple monsters with legendary resistances which I mean, that's bullshit. That's just for the boss. Come on, man. It's not for freaking mini-bosses.

That's for safer Sephiroth. That's for Sephiroth when he's already a shoe. That's the ultimate form from the new game. So it sounds like we're sentencing the DM. Yeah. Let's throw a freaking corpse on. them from an airship. Skull to skull.

Cool. Skull to skull from a corpse from an airship. Maybe not a corpse, maybe a live person, so they have to feel bad. Oh, wow. And the person looks at you in the eye and says, help. Do something. You have to sue Delta. That's who I was falling

from. It was a Delta airplane. Never. I'll never sue them. My last words, I'll never sue Delta. Tell my children not to sue Delta. I've gone skull to skull with my children multiple times because they'll, you know, like they'll be in your lap and they'll kind of like jump up a little bit and go like skull to chin.

And it's awful. Yeah. It's crazy that even with a kid, because they're supposed to be not powerful. Yeah. But just even a kid's skull is something to be afraid. Yeah. Heads are hard. I've always said that.

Skulls are hard game. Careful out there. That's why we have them. They come out. Don't knock noggins with anybody. So the punishment here is kids skull to skull. Just like to get a skull. Yeah.

Got it. Because the kid will be fine. Yeah, the kid will be fine. Yeah. The question is that Delta is going to start children skydiving. Whoa. That's cool. That's a market.

Pre-K skydiving. It hasn't been done before. Start them young. Not tandem, so you do have to catch them. They don't get parachutes. I need to change that billboard with kids skydiving. It's never been done before. It can't be bull to do it next time.

It's the perfect template for all Delta related things. They don't need, yeah, just give them a little squirrel suits. They'll be fine. Yeah, they're bouncy. Alienware's back-to-school event is the perfect time to score top gaming gear with incredible features and Intel Core processors to go beyond performance. Save big on gaming desktops, laptops, and more. Start your Alienware journey with the Alienware 15 gaming laptop featuring Intel Core processors. Smoothly game, live stream, and multitask for hours on end. Plus, play through every game exactly how you want with customizable, Alien FX lighting across your Alienware ecosystem, creating your very own gaming profile and more. Finally, pair your incredibly smooth gaming experience with immersive visuals and sound by saving on sleek Alienware monitors, headsets, and more. This limited time sale awaits you now at alienware.com slash deals. That is alienware.com slash deals.

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So if you're looking for a new bud this summer, the everyday earbuds classic are a great option for everyday listening. Go to buy raycon.com slash pop-aw to get 20% off now. That is buy raycon.com slash pop-off for 20% off. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring. Now back to the show. All right, so ordered. And our next case comes from Tiny Little Rat. Oh, hi judges.

Come on out. Come on out, little fella. That's okay, bud. Don't be so shy. Ow! Did you go skull to skull with it? Radcl, surprisingly hard. I tried to commune with it and it just balked me.

Get it in a flight suit. It's ready to sky down. Hi judges. Hi, Jork. I recently joined a campaign that has been running for two plus years. Everyone has been extremely welcoming. And they have been eager to tell me about the world they made and send me many, many, many, many lore documents so I can catch up.

Okay. Despite all of this, or maybe because of it, I have really been struggling to immerse myself in the world and match everyone else's effort and care. I like playing D&D with them, and I really appreciate how welcoming they've been to both me and my character. But I am easily fatigued by the overarching lore and tend to zone out outside of game conversations when everyone starts talking about how awesome the campaign is. I fear terribly that I'm harshing the vibe by being the only one who doesn't show interest in the family lineage of a beloved NPC or the tense relationships between the different nations and power. in the DM's world. Should I be sentenced to catch up on the lore?

Should I be disbarred from the campaign? Or is the DM in the wrong for expecting this level of commitment and world knowledge from the guy playing the six intelligence barbarian? I will accept any sentence with grace and not rage about it one little bit. I think no one's wrong. I think if what you're into is the lore, that's cool. But I also think it's totally cool to be not engaging as much with the lore and more into playing the game and more interested in the PCs than the MPCs.

Yeah. I think there's a reason why the Lord of the Rings movies were so successful. And that is because, like, the lore is in there, but it is, like, mostly ignored. Like, characters will say shit. They will just, like, invoke a king's name that you've never heard of or something like that. Like, you don't need to look that up. I certainly did. Yeah.

I certainly went on the week. You can choose to engage with it. Right. Exactly. It's as deep as you want to go. And I feel like that's the way you kind of have to treat this. If you are the intelligent six barbarian, you can just ask dumb questions. And everyone will be like, oh, Garfo.

Garfo smash. Garfo hate book. Garfo eat book. I mean, it can be in character. You don't know the fifth king of the realm or whatever? Oh, Garfo. Have there been conflicts? Did they mention that?

No, I think it's just guilt. It sounds like they just feel a little bad about it. I think that. Yeah, I think M's right. I think that if you are being quiet while they talk about the lore, they're not clocking that. You're probably sitting there being like, oh, they can tell. I don't care.

No, they're just talking to each other about the lore, and as long as you're politely quiet, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not like incumbent on YouTube be like, yes, I also have opinions about it. Garfo, the provost was secretly of the king's blood. Garfo sad? Garfo wonder, what is provo? Garfo love family trees. Are any of you, like, people who love the lore more so in a D&D or tabletop sense?

Or are you more character focused? I'm usually more interested in the other PCs to be very honest. I think that there's something about knowing that this is one person's character that I like I like learning about their characters. Yeah. And like lore stuff is cool, but I really like what Calwell said, which is like it's there if you want it. Yeah. I like feeling like there's a little bit there beyond what we're seeing. So I feel like you got to give it something.

And then if somebody asks a question about it, it's always fun to have those like little like piece. Yeah, you can give them the info if they want it. Exactly. I like the story forward stuff. So as far as like when it's going to like lineage of like beloved vaccines, I don't know. I do like lore, but I also, I feel like I know that loving your own lore is like a danger. Ah, yeah. So like you can fall in love with your own lore and like, yeah, maybe I'll, I know the fourth king of this

generation is, but you can't just talk about it and tell somebody actually cares. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like these players do care. Yeah. That's kind of where the struggle is. Yeah. Lord of the Rings is a great example because I don't really.

like high fantasy that much because a lot of it tends to be very lore driven. Yeah. But that one is so character driven that you don't, like you said, you don't need to know anything about the history of the elves and all that stuff. Exactly. You just love the characters. Right. Like whenever there's like a video game with like long pages of codexes and stuff, I don't

read any of that stuff. Unfortunately I do. No, and that's totally cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's why I started this with like, I don't think anyone's wrong. Yeah, yeah. But I think like for me, it is always like I like to experience the media as it's presented and then I just like go into my little lore hole and I cozy up with some tones.

That is true. Either I don't read it or it becomes my life for like years. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. See, for me, that is Mario. I know way too much about Mario. Oh. Do you know about my history with Mario? No. I want to hear about it. I met my wife through Mario fan fiction communities. What were you writing about? Kids, it's possible. It is quite possible. I was writing very like serious like epic works you know right with all original characters yeah with all original characters holy shit wait can you tell us were they like dark brothers or were they like from the mushroom kingdom um one of them was a like gritty mafia epic oh wow and i was like 12 years old so this is the kind of shit that like still is part of my bones to yeah yeah yeah your wife

found your fan fix yeah i mean so me and my wife and my wife and a bunch of our very close friends who have known for, God, like, over 20 years or whatever. Incredible. We met online through a Mario fan fiction community. And I'm still very good friends with them to this day. That rocks. I love that.

So if I choose to, if something can hook me, lore, yeah, I can absolutely go balls in on lore. Well, Mario's a great example as well. Because, like, there is, there's, like, not much lore to speak of. Exactly. But, like, there's, like, just enough that you can be like, what's under there? Like, why is it like this? You can obsess over it?

Especially when Nintendo doesn't give a shit about any of it. They're always constantly retconning it. Right. But for us, it's just enough Cooper children to write a family dynamic. Right. And I think they've kind of retconned them out. They used to be Bowser's kids, but now they're like his cousins.

No, they're not even that. Like his henchmen. Yeah. They're just horseshings. No. There's kids. God's damn it. You disavowed them.

Yeah. Why did they make that change? Oh, I like that theory that actually, this is in universe and he just disavowed them. Right. He's just not calling children anymore. And he's like doing it in like a succession way to be like, you all want the throne. Well, you're not my kids anymore. You're not serious coupas.

You know what it is? I mean, he has one kid now. It's Bowser Jr. But I think they just having too many kids is like, oh, they have to acknowledge that Bowser is fucked that many times. Yes. And they're like, if he's done it like eight times, like who's the wife, they've never shown who the wife is. They're like, I don't want to just, okay, he's got one. Who's the wife?

Don't worry about it. He had sex. Yeah. Oh, no, he's egg laying. Oh. In which case, you could get them in one clutch. Do you think? Oh, okay.

Okay. That's a very good point. And it could be dressed. That's the other fanfic I wrote. It's about the Bowser's birth. How is her first clutch? Anyway, not to do real. Although I could talk about Mario for the rest of the podcast.

Do you have one of these fan fiction, like, available anywhere? Why do you want to know? Oh, because. we're interested in me. Let me see. I don't think there's anything up now. Okay. I think I still have it. Have you ever thought of re-skinned it and publishing it sort of as its own property divorced from Mario, a lot 50 shades of gray? So no. I will say that we talked briefly off Mike about like, oh, I, you know, casually GM stuff. Like within the past couple years, we've done some gritty Mario tabletop home group. Oh, yeah. And it was funny. It was fun as shit, dog. That is so fun.

Can we hire you? I am like, oh, what are you doing? It's ridiculous. Do not threaten me with a good time. I'm serious. I'm vibrating right now. So like I ran one, a friend of mine ran one, and it's so fun because both of us are so, we know too much about all of it.

Yeah. So we can incorporate all of it. And we have friends who don't know that much about it. But they're just like, kind of like you said, they can engage with lore and nitty gritty as much as they want to. Yeah. but we just throw in as much shit as we want to. They don't need to know that the Hammer Brothers are from Bowser's actual brother who is killed,

and yet these are his children who have, like, decided to follow Bowser's crown, despite the fact that they harbor a grudge from killing their father. Whoa, I didn't know that. I have to hesitate and stop myself from pulling at conversation threads because they will never move on from this. But you know there's a whole thing about, no, no, fuck it. Do it. This is what the show is. This is what they show is.

Okay, all right, whatever. So there's a whole thing about Bowser's brother because in one of, I think it's Super Mario Brothers. I was bullshit in just, no, no, no, no. In Super Mario Brothers won or lost levels or something like that. There's like a Bowser who like appears, but it's not officially Bowser. So the fans are like, is it like a Bowser's brother? If I had internet, I would pull it up right now.

But Bowser's brother. It's a thing. Bossers brother. Wow. Again, this is the kind of shit that I know. And, uh, yeah. I am so sorry to keep laughing about Mario,

but I just feel like we've cracked open a door that I can't not walk through. We've cracked open a clutch of eggs. Is anyone in your campaign playing shy guy, a shy guy? Ah, um... I just think they're so damn cute. Okay, well now, okay, we're never going to move on.

Yeah, we're never going to move on. I was, for the Patreon, we were going to do an 8th book club. That was, we had a Sonic book, but we might have to, like, redo a Mario one or something. Oh, yeah. I really need to hear all your change. We could revisit one. There are Mario choosier on Adventure Book.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to own them as a kid. Oh, and we own them as adults. So, sorry. Oh, it's just one of the shy guy. Or what, like, reskinned characters are they playing?

Oh, yeah. So from what I remember, there was a Hammer Brother was one of them. Whoa. There's coupas and their toads. I mean, it runs the gambit. Like, one of the most obscure was like a Chukya. Those are the purple guys from Mario 64 who throw you. Not the Charging Chucks, but the other ones?

Not charging chugs. It's the football player guys. I'm so sorry. No, please. Caldwell, please get the fuck out. Take a seat. Well, I never thought I'd say this. I think you've been out class.

I have never seen this. I've never seen you get outlawed. No, in the Japanese spelling of the name, sometimes it's, I melt. If you all were in a Mario table top, what species would you? My first thought was Shagga. That's a great choice.

Because I just think they're so cute. Great. How about you? I think it would be a Yoshi. Ooh, okay. Oh, nice, nice. I feel like the mechanics for, like, the egg swallow. It would be like vampuric in a way, I guess, where you would, like, gulp the egg and maybe get some power from it,

but then also you could get, like, an item from it as well or something like that. I think there's a lot of fun mechanics around being a Yoshi. Okay, that's pretty good. That's solid. I love it dry bones. Great. And then, I don't know, maybe like a lost, edgy cupa kid. There is a look of terror.

Jake is so scared right now. Jake's like, oh, is Luigi one of the kids? Chris? Is Chris Hemsworth in this or? Otherwise, I don't, it's Tomper. Hey, I'm just a Nintendo fan. Hey, Caldwell, no joke. If you start doing Mario bonus content, sign me the fuck.

Oh my God. Let's go. I'm dead serious. Infinite potential from me from Mario lore. Yeah, and I'd be mooted from the show because I don't know what you guys are talking about. What would you be? Do you know anything about Mario? I don't.

You never played a Mario game? No, I've never played. You feel like Mario Carrey. I've played Mario Kart. He's done a bunch of Mario Adventure books. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's really...

But unfortunately, your lore is probably complicated by our lore, because in our lore, Wendy Cooper has big stinky feet. Everyone wants to mess up. Well, that's also like... Everything I know has been corrupted because I have more Mario knowledge based on... About when he's... Hang out with these games, which is all completely skewed. I don't know what's real. Can you name three Mario species?

I... No. Can I do Yoshis? Do you know what Yoshi is? It's the little dinosaur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. The mushrooms, shroomie, the shroom guys. Yeah. Tots. Shroomies? You guys are going really easy on him, okay? The giant bullets. Oh, what do you think they're called?

Canons. Okay. I thought they're a little bomb-a-bomb. Well, are you talking about bullet bills? Bullet bills. Those are the missiles with the angry faces on them? That's right. They look like bombs are the little walking bombs.

Yeah. They look like a Delta 747. That's right. Stop trying to get good with the guest again. All right, let's do it. Let's do another case. There's this one. Wait,

we don't. What was it about? Oh, no. Oh, this was about that. You're saying no one was at fault because we got lost in the lore. Yeah.

No fault. No fault. Yeah. Yeah. As long as it doesn't cause conflict within the party dynamic. As long as it doesn't feel like bullshit. Because we've had,

we've had cases like this where people will be so in love with their lore that they'll get mad at the person for not knowing. Right. And it sounds like it's just, It sounds like everybody's chill. Yeah, yeah. I think you are in the right frame of mind that you don't want to, what's that phrase? Yuck their yum.

I'm sorry if that's overused. Yuck and Yom are Mario species as well. Shit. Could I guess that. I think that you have the right frame, which is just like, this isn't for me. It is for them. And you can be supportive without needing to also have it be for you. Yeah.

So the corpse is going to just miss you. Yes. Yes. But the person is going to be alive. Okay. So you have to feel bad about it. A little bit. And they're going to say,

Oh, why didn't you catch me? I'm the son of the baron and I have much to say about my father's lands. And then they die. Which, Barry? The Starbucks won.

How do you pay them so little? They're unionizing. You must have them. Don't sue Delta. Our next case comes from, speaking of, our next case comes from G money to the expanded Supreme

Crit. That's right. We're expanding the It's just really tough to move on. Mario. Okay, go on. We're going to be

going to go so deep. We get over to Apipa Book Club Club. Yeah, on the short rest, it'll be all Mario all day. Can't wait.

To the expanded Supreme Crit and compressed bailiff. I ran a one shot a while back in which a family entered a contract with a devil

to give up the firstborn of each generation in order to maintain ownership of their estate. Whoa. The player's mission was to help the current

generation prevent the deal their ancestors made. One of my players asked to see the contract and became convinced that he had found a loophole that would get the family out of the deal. It was a weak loophole and would have ended the one shot on the spot. I pushed back and we had a 15-minute debate about the supposed loophole. I eventually broke narration and asked the group if this would be a satisfying way to conclude the story. I mean, I really think that's a logical response.

Or if they'd like to continue as planned. the group chose to continue. But the loophole player... Oh, my God. I'm already mad. Okay, yeah. But the loophole player razzed me. And I can tell he felt salty

about his solution that didn't work. Oh, I'm sorry. He felt salty that you plan something for him to play and he said I don't want to play it. Oh, excuse me, this contract you wrote on your lunch break? There's actually some problems with it. We shouldn't have had to play D&D at all.

Because I'm not a loophole. I figured out how to not have a party. That contract got us out of about three hours of good time. If everyone wants to call their Uber's now, I can be at home staring at my blank walls right now. Was I wrong to ask a meta question about how the group would like to play?

Should I have found a creative way to allow the loophole and continue playing somehow? P.S., there was an actual loophole baked into the contract that this player didn't find, which of course complicated my decision. Oh, that's so interesting. Can I suggest,

I don't want to suggest what you should have done differently because this is an impossible situation. to handle. But if there was an actual loophole, I wonder if there's a world where you're like, give me an insight check. When you say loophole, you actually realize this is the loophole.

Or just like there is a loophole, but that's not it. Yeah. I wonder if they would have stopped sniffing. I think they would have been like, no, but it is a loophole. It's a loophole. It is.

That's tough though. I feel like with something like this, you were trying so hard and doing so well and you got so far. But in the end, it didn't really matter. I think there's nothing wrong with breaking it. With breaking character and saying this, because it should kind of shame the loophole player. Yeah.

And I feel like it directs the other players at your table to like the kind of game you want to run. Yeah. You have to make an example of somebody. I mean, it sounded like it got to a point where it needed to happen. Right. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I wouldn't just immediately go with that right away. But it was just like, well, come on, come on about the loophole.

It's like, hey, guys, just real talk like, is this something that we want to do? No, you're stupid. Okay, great. Let's move on. You did, yeah, like you took it above the table and said, like, as human beings, are we having fun? And this person still refused to play ball. Let's try to play devil's advocate here. Okay.

All right. I am what, there is, the devil and Mario? I do think if you're given, if you're given the actual contract and you're reading through it. By the way, the devil's advocate is a movie about a deal with the devil, right? It is. Yeah. I watched too recently. There is an afterlife.

Okay. Really? Whoa. All right. Table it. Table it. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know.

Devil's advocate. Devil's advocate. Devil's advocate. If you're being given the contract, you are being kind of asked to be like find an out here. Without seeing the loophole, if it is truly like a dumb, not real loophole, if they did find something and then it like wasn't rewarded at all, that is a little, not saying you should argue about it for 15 minutes, but that is maybe a little bit disappointing. The trap here. is that it seems like you gave them, like, a full prop to mess around with. And that's so fun.

That's so fun. But that means you have to be, like, airtight with everything in there. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. And I feel like if you had just made it be like, oh, you have this contract. You look it over. Give me a roll to see what you see. And then, like, if they roll well enough, you present it with, like, a slip of paper.

You're like, you notice this one specific passage that has a loophole in it. And the player, this player asked specifically to see it. So it's not like they were doling this out. Oh, they're like, let me look at it. I see it. Yeah, yeah. Like, let me see that contract. I know that during your prep, you were like writing, writing, writing.

And then there was like a come up with contract later. Yeah. And then like 10 minutes before the session, you're like, let me quickly write out of contract. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm trying to think of like what like a bullshit loophole would be. That would still be a loophole or would be like like, for as long as we all shall live or something like that. And it's like, well, some of them died. And it's like, well, no, it means all the family line is still alive. So that doesn't count. Arguing about that for 15 minutes would be really fucking boring. This was dated incorrectly, actually. So it's invalidated.

Nolan Boy. Yeah, I guess I can meet you halfway where it's like, I guess they could be rewarded in some way. Yeah. But not in a way that would just end it. For sure. Or be like, oh, that's a great point.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. About it. But maybe we'll just rewind and, you know, because you're just doing a one show. You're just having a good time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm wondering if you could have maybe diffused it by being like,

good point, you get advantage on this next thing or something like that. Or like, I don't know. Maybe you could have given them a little something. Good point. That's a typo. We got to play D&D. I'm actually not a lawyer in real life.

I hire a lawyer for this one shot. It's tough, but it is very funny to have a double be like, oh shit, hold on. Let me get my lawyer on the phone. This is a thing that happens in these one shots, though. Like, when you do like murder mysteries and stuff like that, you will just have somebody be like, well, I'm a cleric. I just heal them.

And you're like, oh, fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. There is, I mean, like, inherently in one shots, you have to kind of be a little more on the rails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And sometimes you can communicate with like your party ahead of time by being like,

you guys are going to get a contract and that's going to start the journey. So just, you know, receive the contract, which is what you did after 15 minutes of getting berated by the player. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think you basically feel bad that you had to yell at your players, but I think you did have to at the end of the day. Or, you know, you had to at least like guide them into playing. You did the practical thing. I think once the DM says, no, you just have to move on.

Yeah. if it's kind of, you know. Yeah. Or maybe it was an actual loophole and the loophole was a hole to hell and they get sucked inside it. Whoa. You think about that.

It's pretty sick. Is that what happens in the devil's advocate? I haven't seen the film. Emily did. I have. I think so. This is great podcast. I did, but it was like 20 years ago.

Do you want to talk about what movies we might have seen? I definitely believe I've seen the devil's advocate. I think maybe I've seen, what's the one with Gavin Rosdale from Bush as the devil with counter Reeves? Oh, wow. Something blue eyes?

No. Keanu Reeves has been in two movies with the devil? Was it, devil's advocate? Is it the devil's advocate? I thought he was in the devil's advocate. I thought it was Keanu and like Andy Garcia or something. Okay, we have to clarify at this point that the internet is out. The internet has gone out.

It's Keanu and Al Pacino. And there's literally no way for us. Guys, it's like we're in the 90s again. This is great. Okay, we have no idea. Let's run to the video store. We'll rent it, we'll watch it, and we'll know. Okay, we have time to talk about this, but not the Mario Afterlife.

Okay. We actually have an hour to talk about the Mario Afterhood. I actually wanted to pivot immediately to the Mario afterlife for the record. Yeah. Okay, so I guess we're ruling against who? The player. We're willing against the player, right? Yeah. The player is being too sassy.

Because we were playing devil's advocate. Playing devil's advocate. It was really just to try to be, you know, responsible court. Ultimately, all of our gut instinct was with you the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. If I were in that position as the player, I'd be like, oh, ha, this is kind of funny. Isn't that kind of funny? anyway we can keep going.

Right. Like you pointed out and be like, ha ha. And the DM, oh, you're right, you're right. You're right. It's the 15 minutes of it. You're allowed to be salty the rest of the session. If you are due for 30 seconds. I think realistically, if I was one of the other PCs,

I would have intervened and been like, it's fine. Let's go with the country. Yeah. Right. Because you also don't, it's not a real win if the DM's just like, you know what? Fine.

It throws out their notes. Fine, you win. Yeah. Awesome. Do I get to work for the devil? now? Okay. Can I be a legal assistant

for the devil now? That's what Keanu is. Whoa. These are all movies that we've maybe seen. And I've maybe seen one with Gavin Rosdale. Awesome.

I don't know if he's the devil. I think Keanu Reeves burns his face off in like a cauldron of some sort. This is maybe cool. Does this feel, right? Constantine or something? Yes.

Yes. Oh! We got it. I've definitely seen Constantine. I don't remember Gavin Rosdale from it, though. Gavin Rosdale is in that movie. He feels.

He feels like it should be. It has the raddest aesthetic. Okay. Yeah. Anyway. All right. My letter box is full now, so that's good. All right.

So what are we punishing the players? To watch all these movies. To watch all these movies. To watch Jevles Advocate and Constantine. Uh-huh. Sweet. Heck, if we're doing Keanu Reeves and bad guys, let's throw in a Dracula. Nice.

Oh, for sure. What's the one with, what's the one that he's in? Bram Stoker's Dracula? Yeah. That Coppola flick? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Why don't we just throw a copy of Dracula at this player From an airship I think they have to half watch all of Keanu orese's filmography like on a second monitor but then they have to be quizzed on it Yeah Which is essentially what we're doing here

Yeah No internet You just have to guess I can think of nothing worse than Keanu Reeves just getting really serious and asking me what my favorite part of this movie was So what did you think about Constantine? You watched the whole thing right? That was awesome

When you advocated for the devil it's also you guys all had such rad aesthetic what was your favorite line from Gavin Rosdale who's definitely in it

probably just like take this Christianity Glitterine he also sings Bush songs that's crazy sure that's why

they got him okay you got lucky him ordered no it's because he's a fucking awesome actor okay it also was like

a little too late to be like we got the lead singer from Bush in our movie it was definitely like 2005. It was like, wow, a long time after glycerine.

I just don't remember if he was actually in there. But I trust you more than my own memory, which is deeply faulty. Kevin Ross, I don't know the name of the movie. I don't want to live in a world. Can you weigh in? Are you only the Mario expert? I'm only Mario expert, yeah. Okay. Does Mario ever meet the devil?

No. Oh, well, not yet. Not yet. Yeah. Fire up that fanfic. I have an idea. I know, yeah. Can we get a little tease for the afterlife? Is it a way to like,

universe explain why Mario dies and comes back? You want a little teaser? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, please. In Super Paper Mario, it's a game. And if you play it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, he dies. It's like a game over, and he goes to, it's like a place.

Yeah. Is that the one where you, it's on the Wii and use the little Wii mode? And you can, like, flip it to 3D? You can flip it and make it 3D? I think it was fun, yeah, all right. See? Okay, call all those balls. Yeah.

Much like devil's advocate, I've maybe played this game. All right. Okay, I think there's a punishment in there. So ordered. And with that, shall we step into church? We also do church where we absolve people of their sins. We say, we pray to dice Christ. You know, it's easy.

You don't have to sign an oath for this one. So you're good. So I just bring that on you like you're out of sleep over. By the way, we have to pray. It does get really religious. Yeah. Okay, our confession comes from YZ. It's actually kind of a juicy one.

Oh, really? Okay. Okay. Yeah. This better be so good, Jake. It is kind of good. All right. Esteemed clerics of Dice Christ, I've come to confess to a grave offense fueled by a thirst for revenge. My former roommate used to run an occasional D&D game at our place. He also kept all the physical character sheets between games. One of the players, a ranger, ended up being the person that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Despite all of the drama, my roommate, the DM, kept a...

inviting her to our place for D&D. One day, I saw that they had left all of their D&D stuff on the living room table from the previous night's game, and a dark thought took over me. Oh, no. The opportunity was just too good to pass. I found the ranger's sheet and erased some of the penciled in values. In the end, I removed one point from her wisdom score, which dropped her modifier to zero. I also shaved off two points from her max HP, from 28 to 26. That's so subtle. It's so subtle. I was expecting it to just be like, I threw out all their character. But this is like, they're actually going to believe what these numbers are.

So like, why did a Ranger have plus one to wisdom? Yeah, she'd have had better wisdom. It's like your spell casting. Right. Sounds like a little one. Yeah. I would have to wipe my ass with it. Go on.

And I reduced the hit bonus for her primary weapon by one. Oh my God. You can. I moved out soon after. And I haven't seen any of these people since. So I don't know if they're. they noticed the character sheet was tampered with, or if it had any consequences at all.

Judges, to be perfectly honest, I don't regret this one. I love the confessions where they don't regret. I love the confessions right. Yeah. But as a D&D player myself, it does feel a little sacrilegious to mess with someone else's character.

Yeah, for sure. I lay myself at your feet for judgment and I will take any punishment because, quite frankly, it was worth it. You want to know why? The punishment's not coming from us. The next time you play in D&D, Start paying attention.

I'm sure the punishment is getting meted out. Okay. The real villain here is the roommate who's inviting all of these people. Yeah. But they're inviting dramas with doing. It's the person that the submiters ex cheated with, right? Right. Yes.

Is it possible that this person didn't know that they were in a relationship? Could be. Is it possible that this was just an innocent person? We don't know a lot of these details, but I do think that even if they knew and even if they committed like a heinous act. You don't want to invite that sort of karma on yourself, right? Like you still, you still, like, are messing with your own D&D luck and karma. Yeah.

The sheet is sacred. Remember that. The sheet is sacred. There's places to take out revenge and it's not on a penciled in. You should have keyed their car. I kind of agree. I think you should have had an argument with your roommate for sure. Right.

Like, way before this. That would have been like, can we not fucking do this? Yeah. confrontation would have been better. Just be like, so who's coming to D&D tonight? Oh, okay. We cancel the campaign. Is there any way we could do that?

Can you DM in another house if you're going to do it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's so brutal. I mean, look, I understand why your head was in that place, but you just should have keyed their car. Yeah. We also, we don't have to forgive you because you're not asking. Yeah, you're not asking for.

Yeah, you're not. But honestly, the subtleness of this is so funny. The fact that you just did little, like, minus ones. Is this like the equivalent of like just taking someone's shoes and replacing them with like a size lower? Which is great, which is like a half size. Not all but just enough to be annoying. I'm going to say this is just kind of fun revenge. I'm going to say this is fun.

Yeah, you did choose subtle enough numbers that is probably not going to affect things. I mean, maybe they got charmed by a vampire. And then they like turned on their campaign. I don't know. I'm also like, whoa, now you're kind of like a god in their D&D campaign. Ooh, a trickster god. Yeah. You are a trickster.

God in their D&D campaign. All right. There can't be no other gods besides dice Christ, so you have sin. Oh, interesting. All right, we came back around. All right.

So forgiven. So forgiven. Your own car. Kee your own car. Just a little bit. Just see, I'm not asking for forgiveness into your car. Oh, actually.

You can key like a rad design. How about that? Oh, that's cool. Or if you don't have a Toyota, key, I love Toyota. On your Honda. I just want to stay for that billboard. Me?

I am not. asking for forgiveness. Again, it's a template, guys. That's good. That's awesome. LA Times is like new ad campaign. What is this about? There's a really good PS here.

P.S., my ex used to listen to the show. And if she still does, this will be how she finds out. Wow. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. If your ex made it through the Mario lore. They said this was in like college. Yeah.

Okay. It's funny if they're all like 40. now. What? What do you mean? All right, we're going to go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you someone for joining us.

This was awesome. Thank you. Do you have anything you'd like to plug? Proz-D, P-R-O-ZD, just Google that. You'll find all my stuff. Otherwise, go play Mario game. Yeah. If you haven't played a Mario game, you're listening to this, play one Mario game.

What's your favorite? What do you recommend? What's like your top Mario game? My favorite is Paper Mario. Hell yeah. N-64 RPG. right on. Okay, I'll do it.

Yeah. And we'll do some fun video game stuff over on the Patreon. Patreon. patreon.com slash an ad pod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet. We also sing P-O-D, like Youth of the Nation. It's a weird thing that we do. But at this point, when I say P-O-D, I say don't sing yet.

They pretend to sing. Yeah, we... Don't do it. Don't sing yet. It's in our blood now. Do any of us have anything we'd like to plug? I think we go plug-less. Yeah.

Plugless and on our... Mario. That's right. I can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. That's age for me at Caldice Caldwell. Addie Extrademily. At Jekkerwit's Jake. That's on one is ProZD.

And check out ProzD. And you could talk about the show using hashtag Nat Popper 10 ADD POD. We are, we are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. Do you remember POD? That was overwhelming. That's why I really. I'm in like a special chair right now, and these four are suited around me, singing that it's very warm.

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