Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Falling Frogs, Secret Dolls and The DM Dice Chucker Challenge

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, as well as the Solo Jolo Bailiff Hurwitz, as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!OUR LA SHOW IS HAPPENING TONIGHT! Click for tickets!GET TICKETS TO OTHER SHOWS HERE! - Naddpod.com/LiveCREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Inflation is on the rise. Luckily, Mint Mobile is giving you a much-needed break from inflation with your wireless bill. Mint Mobile lets you order from home and save a ton with phone plans starting at just $15 a month. Order today at MintMobile.com slash pop-off. This is a headgun podcast. Welcome to Dunjin Court. Dunjin! We are your Supreme Crit, Justice's Murphy, Axford and Tanner joined by the lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly Keep coming baby! Hit me! How low can you go?

Just so far down he can't cast spells because his mouth's full of dirt. Wow! I remember the thing from before. Wow, that's... I forgot about that. I forgot about that. I forgot about it went over my head. But only because I'm so low.

Yeah, everything dies. Here ye crit is now in session, the honorable Supreme Crit, justices, Axford Murphy, and Tanner are presiding. Our first case comes from, the possum in my backyard winked at me. Oh, great name. And congratulations on that.

Wow. I don't want to look up if possums can actually wink or not. I want to live in that fantasy. I have a feeling when a Possum winks, you enter a parallel universe. Oh, it's like you can see a cat twice in the matrix. That's sort of a situation. Okay, I don't know that, but I think that.

But the Possum winks at you and you trade places with the Possum. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, he'd be come to Possum. I think the Possum got some dander in its eye. Right, that's a blur. Merrr.

Yeah, a blur. For adoption. For all great theories, all great theories. Murph's is wrong. Yeah, the only thing we know for sure is that my theory is wrong. They write, to the exceedingly knowledgeable and impartial judges and Baylif Joel,

I wanna say, I wanna say it was Joel. I have a mole. Jolo, solo. Yeah, solo, Jolo. I present the case of my friends who won't stop throwing dice at my DM screen. Oh, fun. Which one throw more dice at Merff?

We absolutely should. Well, it's going over to Merff. Yeah. I mean, clearly the problem here is that you need to get one of those hockey nets that they have at hockey games, right? I guess they, at a hockey game, they just got like a baseball field is what I think.

Yeah, hockey, they've just got the tall, sometimes they have a net that goes over the back where the goal is. Murph usually has like three to four feet tall Plexiglass in front of him on me play. Yeah, he has like a sandwich shop sneeze guard. Well that was like a COVID precaution. But now I just don't like being near you guys

so I just kept it up. Right, that's where the goggles and gloves come. Yeah. That. Whenever I hand you guys dice, you just go like, ew, don't touch me. Yeah. You sprayed me with lice all the other day. Murphy has a bruley torch that he uses to clean off his diet.

You get your gross little grub ones. A few months ago, a player at my table stood up to roll their dice and threw it a little too hard. The diet ended up traveling across the table and hit my screen before ever even touching the table. I parentheses jokingly said that my DM screen was good luck and they could now roll with advantage. They rolled a second. I wouldn't have allowed the result. It was lower than the original so I said they had wasted the advantage and we laughed it off and moved on. Now in any tense moment or difficult

saving throw, my players will throw their dice at my DM screen in the hopes of getting advantage. It was funny the first few times to us, but it has been four months and it has happened at least once a session at our weekly. I ask you justices, have I sealed my own fate or should my players let the joke die and give my poor DM screen some rest?

I'd really wait your judgment. Truly hate how much parenting knowledge overlaps with being a demon. Yes, I just wanted to ask you this call, but if this is like raising a child, where like you delight them once and it's really fun. And then they're like, no, no, no, keep going back to the next. Yes. For a good, these things do not get old to them.

Ha ha ha. Break your body, father. Break it. I wish to be a frog. I wish to fly. You cannot laugh. You cannot show a single smile. Right. But this is even beyond that, because this DM invented the problem.

Right. It's really charming. It's really charming. It's really charming. It is. Also, the players are showing some level of restraint, because when this was first written in, when I first heard the first sentence, I thought they were gonna be doing it for every single role. But the fact that it's now just, I was gonna say critical roles,

pardon the pun or reference, whatever. But since it's just for like, since it's just big roles, I'm kind of like, is this that big of a deal? Yeah, it doesn't sound, I also thought you were gonna like get hurt. Yeah, they are saying it only happens once per session. Oh, that that.

I have a solution. I have a solution that has nothing to do with like talking to your friends or solving this in a mature way. Love it. Cover your DM screen with fly paper. Oh, yes. You need to fortify your DM screen. I think you need to.

I think you need to lean into this. Can I add a suggestion onto that? It was absolutely. Can I stick a suggestion onto that? It was absolutely. Can I stick another suggestion onto that? Get a little bullseye drawn on it too. Okay, that's gonna encourage them. For sure. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Only for occasional roles can you try and like skip bounce it on there and like maybe you get I don't know some sort of boon if you get a bullseye. That's what they're doing.

Yeah, so I think that I feel like if you put fly paper on there and then they lose their dice if they try and bounce it off. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, just cover your freaking DM screening gizz. My fucking problem. I always make it too fun. Right now there's only a benefit. If they throw at your screen and it hits

without bouncing, they get advantage. But like there needs to be a cost to. Oh that's good too. So like if you don't hit the screen, it's an auto fail. Basically give them reason to pause. They're trying to get advantage. But like what's something that would go wrong if it's not done perfect. Yeah, I think this is good. In fact, you can even build it into your world, sort of a cosmic deity of consequence and balance comes in. And it's like, this is so much focus on the throwing that down. Well, but this will limit them for doing. Yeah. If I'm like, okay, I want advantage.

I'm gonna chuck it at your screen. But I know that if it goes over without bouncing, then I'm gonna have to change the band. Then you have to change your show. Huge will be hard to miss. Okay, here's what we're doing. No, I mean, I have to go on the other side of the table. huge. It would be hard to miss. Okay, here's the thing. No, I mean, I have to go the other side of the table. There's the distance you have to go.

Yeah. I'm still hit it. It's so big. It could be you would have to miss so hard to miss. Well, I think I would miss. I have a better. I will hit it. We can have the worst audio ever for the podcast.

We got it. You can work all of it is on the other side. I will hit it 10 times in a row. 10 times in a row. 10 times in a row. That's not the DM screen. You can just end up a DM, no, we have to get out of that. It's a small, though.

10 times in a row. We're doing it 10 times in a row. I have to get my DM screen. This is terrible on you. Behind you, I think, over by the computer. We're gonna DM just a know where his DM screen is. We're gonna load it up there. I don't know if it is.

Yeah, you should sleep with your DM screen under your pillow, Murr. You should sleep with it over your face. I don't know where the fuck it is. You're in absolute fraud. I got it. Okay, he's getting his DM screen. I'm gonna set it up.

I'm setting up the DM screen. See, I'm doing good audio. You can use. You give me a teeny one. I'm using a regular set. No, that's not regular set. That's a regular set. Oh my God, whatever.

You're gonna have to use a big one. Put it down, okay. I read it. I read it a lot of chords in the way, but I've read it a lot. Okay, that was a little bit. It was close. Okay, that was too big of a dice. That was but I Okay, ready now 10 Okay, that was close Okay, that was too big of a dice, that was too big of a dice That was too big of a dice, that was too big of a dice

This is too big of a dice Now it feels like it's big 5, hit it, little 6, hit it You're leaning a lot, your elbow is all the way over to your bowl 9, hit it, I think we have this 10, hit it 6, hit it, so fucking easy Wait a second, it's still spits Murf, you go to the gym, you're a natural athlete Nine I think we have this 10 hit it so You go to the gym you're a natural

Really close to missing the first we are it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter I was so it's from the opposite side of the table. It's extraordinarily easy. Okay, six back really easy okay six to do it ten times yeah what is it what do we get you ever heard of play testing that's what we're doing right now all right I will why don't we just do it I'll not be at the table I move all the way right this good beer fun we'll careful my computer this is

the worst audio of all time you guys ready I'm gonna film this hold on Second No I This one, this is for all. It does not matter. No. You blocked it, you fucking blocked it.

I threw it fucking 20 times. This experiment is funny one times, and I hit 20 and it only made it, it only made it, because it hit the pile of wires in front of it that wouldn't be there in a normal session. I could have balanced, though. You don't know that,

they might have like a TV screen. Ah! Oh, this is good. I'm trying to eat cold well. That was a really big one. You know, what did we prove? We proved that this is a... There's no reason to gamify throwing it at the DM screen.

I'm so really surprised that that was a real rush for me. That. It was kind of fun. I still think you can either talk to your friends and say, I mean, it's only happening once a session. It sounds like they're having fun. It feels kind of harmless, but if it is bothering you, you can just talk to your friends or you could cover your DM screen and fly paper. Yes, right. If you're still and jelly, so that it's really unpleasant or a treat. Right. So there's a lot of flies. Also, it detracting flies as well.

Yes. I think if you're still giving advantage after the first one, this is definitely 100% your fault. Right? If you just did it the one time and your friends are kind of beating it into the ground, it's a little bit your fault. And the way like Colbo is saying, you're like, as a parent, you can't,

like, you don't laugh with advantage every single time. When the kid says shit, you don't laugh. Okay, so I think that, you have to look away. I think what we're saying is that as much as we love you I think that it's your fault. Yeah It is your fault This is the opposite of that one hunting that will hunting. This is your fault I don't know why I'm so obsessed with fixing this though because I have one last suggestion Yeah, I feel like I'm doing'm gonna say exactly what the problem is again

No, no, maybe This is something new. Well, we need is a lot of targets on it. Okay, so the fun thing about the screen You don't know what's behind it the DM has a special cup and you have to try and get the Don't want it to focus anymore The screen is the point Game of flying goods. It's a special role that only gets to happen like- What? No!

No! Get it! Three! Did you get it? I got it wrong. Alright, fine, I'm done. I think Vom thought I think of doing beer pong behind a screen. Exactly, yeah.

I feel like that's what's frustrating. That's a solution that you played. You just played beer pong before. Just to get everyone's tossin' out of their system. I just feel like they're so close to something good and it's not there. You know what, I do sympathize just this DM of you make the joke one time and then it just really gets beaten into the ground.

But the fact that I really thought that was gonna be a beat, beat, beat, beat, people whole, truthful hole rather. I did think that there was gonna be like a rogue D20 that hit them in the eye or something. It was becoming dangerous. Are you getting pelted?

I did feel it was a little scared. I felt a little scared. Yeah, when they, when I started throwing dice at you, yeah, that makes sense. But yeah. So they may be living their punishment. I think. Yeah, they are living the ball is right Yeah, so I don't know that we need to sentence you further because I sent to just have a shorter DM screen

So yeah, yeah, and teeny just get a really small Really good. Yeah, yeah, and I go over to their house and give a lot of suggestions that they don't want and I go over to their house and give a lot of suggestions that they don't want. Get a tiny, tiny DM screen covered in jelly and fly paper and answer the door when called. Basically, we're going to set up your next video. We're going to set up your next video. It's going to be tiny and jelly, Phil. Okay, so ordered.

Our next case comes from Read Girl or Red Girl. She writes, Honorable Supreme Crit Justices, Axford Tanner and Murphy and Baby Boy Baylif Jake. I present to you the case, The Reluctant Rules Lawyer. I play a 5e campaign as a circle of the forest would elf drew it. My DM is newer to DMing. This is his second time DMing. I'm a bit more well versed in the rules.

Our group consists mainly of people new to D&D. My DM differs any questions about rules to me. Any time a player has a question about a spell, action check, etc. At first I didn't have a problem with it, but it has gotten to be a lot for me to handle. I have discord D&D beyond the wild shaped chart, Google and Google Docs up at all times. I was also appointed the note taker. It is getting too hard for me to keep up and I feel bad because players ask me questions

and not the DM. The DM keeps saying. Wait, like the question's about like lore? Like what happens? I think the rules. Yeah, the rules, but it also sounds like lore because they're also the note taker. Right, I'm constantly putting awkward situations.

Recently, another player used a potion to help the player who was downed The DM made a decision and said that potions would only restore a down player to 1 HP All the players turned to ask me to check that but the DM insisted so I stayed quiet I didn't agree with his ruling, but he seemed confident in his decision later that player message me asking what I really thought I said is mutual and possible. I don't want to overstep boundaries and I want to support my DM, but I am getting overwhelmed. I just want to focus on my druid,

but I feel as if I can't give my all to her. Am I in the wrong for wanting to shed myself of the responsibility of being a rules lawyer or should I keep giving my new DM the help? What should I do? I humbly await your judgment. This is like, you're a saint for taking this on already.

I think that I really feel like this is easily solved. It sounds like the DM is coming into their own. They're starting to make some rulings with more authority. Oh, nice read. And so if they want to say, potion only brings you back at one hit point, maybe that's what they want to do for their world.

I think you just have a conversation with the DM. You say, hey, you're finding your feet here. You're making the rulings that you want to make, I think that for the sake of, like, clarity, maybe don't defer to me anymore. Right. And you can just start making the rulings that you feel comfortable with. That's a really nice way to approach it. A slightly more chaotic version might be to just call and sick at the last minute and let them jump out of the nest.

Oh. Oh, okay. Just not playing with them. Yeah. Yeah. It is interesting that the first time this DM really laid down the law was just for a bad ruling. Yeah. Just for no reason we're actually going to make potions bad.

Yeah. Actually, if anything, it sounds like they need you more than ever. Yeah. Exactly. It sounds like, yeah. But I mean, I have to, I feel like that is a thing though that that A.D.M. would be like, I'm running a brutal campaign, and this is how potions work. Yeah, I have to respect if they want to be consistent about that.

Yeah, I guess we have to kind of ignore that one thing, because every D.M. does their own thing. So that might be fine for your campaign. Yeah. And that's fine. I feel like this is more on the other players than it is on the DM. It's like the DM doesn't know all the rules.

They just said it was their second time playing or something like that. Or so it makes sense that they would turn to the more experienced person be like, hey, what do you think about this or whatever? It's weird that you are the note taker and that the other players ask you stuff all the time. I feel like they should be asking the DM,

and if the DM doesn't know, ask for a second opinion. That's the chain of command. Yes, exactly. Also, everybody should be taking notes. What's going on here? I think the note taker, the note taker is a new thing that I've never heard of. I've never played in a campaign where we had like,

one of us was the note taker. I would think if you and your friends like having that as a role, that seems like a Google, aared Google doc that you use, that you're like, it's my week to be it. I think you've got to give up being the note taker for sure. Right, because you're already building a lot of questions. You don't want to also be the note taker.

You know what? And I think you could probably, like, when people ask you at the table, because maybe they've gotten used to it, like you can kind of look to the DM and be to it. Like you can kind of look to the DM and be like, well, it's kind of up to the DM. Yeah. Ultimately, unless it's super cut and dry and it like has to do with the mechanics

of a spell or something, it generally is a judgment call. Yeah. So there's definitely a small mutiny happening at that table. Yeah. Right. They're trying to get the sidebar being like, hey, what did you think about that role?

Yeah. Oh man, that didn't sound right to me. Yeah. What about you? They're trying to get the side bar being like hey, what did you think about that rolling? That didn't sound right to me Especially healing potions are expensive One HP and then you probably just get knocked back down It was like smelling salts. We feel we feel a lot of questions about people trying to make consequences bigger Yeah, and this feels like a pretty soft one compared to some of the wild things we've heard. Spare the dying or whatever, actually in an HP.

That's not the worst thing in the world. But you can use this as an inciting incident moving forward. This confusion, these side bars, this is where it needs to stop and you're going to get that up to the DM. Or you could side bar your DM and be like, hey, they're all laughing at you. Rome, that's cool. Just really so a the DM. Yeah, yeah. Or you could side by your DM and be like, hey, they're all laughing at you. Roam, that's cool.

Just really so a little chaos. Yeah, okay. The DM was definitely just quits. Yeah. So I had to discord, say that, then turn your camera off and listen to it. Things rarely work like a drama. Usually people are just like, okay,

I guess I can't talk to that person anymore. Right, that was really mean. That's how I got to cut that out of my life. I'm going to think about that every night as I'm trying to go to bed for a month. And then in 10 years, I'll still think about it like once a year. It's a really important.

It's like kind of like, I don't need this. And then it's with you forever. I feel like the person who is technically wrong in this situation is the DM. But I think it's like well-intentioned. But I think that it is time for them I feel like the person who is technically wrong in this situation is the DM. Right. But I think it's like well-intentioned. But I think that it is time for them to step up into that role. And you can see the other players seem like they're really heavily leaning on the

submitter here. Yeah. But I think that's the DM set that up. But it was all about the original DM permissiveness. Yeah. You got to lay down the law. That permission structure where they see the control. Yeah.

I think I- I think I- I think I- I think I- That's something that I have really struggled with with DMing is you almost have to like put on a Show of being more confident. Yeah, totally make it you are It's like doing stand up if somebody's doing stand up and they're not funny, but they're confident. It's still watchable You can still watch it. It's when you see someone know that they're bombing and they open a mic or something where it becomes, it just hurts. It hurts everyone.

Yeah. And the audience is uncomfortable. Yes, yes. So, I mean, it's a performance, you know? I think, yeah, in all of those things, everybody just wants to feel, you got me? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

We're good. I don't have to worry about you. There's some, a lot of confidence. I don't know the rules. I'm just a player here. You know the rules. You're calling the shots. Exactly. We're good. I don't have to worry about you. There's some level of confidence. I don't know the rules. I'm just a player here. You know the rules. You're calling the shots. Okay.

That means I can have fun. I know who's in charge. I know my place in the pack. Didn't show up to watch anyone sweat. I do feel like this DM, like instead of doing what you should do as a DM, which is where you like scratch your chin and think really hard while you panic.

They're just like instantly, they're just instantly deferring to the other player. Right. Yeah, I do think it's a learned skill. So I think that probably this DM is learning this skill and maybe it's just a matter of being like, hey, I think you're ready to just... Yeah, take time to let your butthole pucker.

Right. It's okay to have a butthole pucker at a moment and ask him to get tight through your ass and then get back to it. Get the whole thing again. We'll lose again. It might cramp. Yeah, that's okay.

Okay, so who are we putting out players and the DM? Everybody, everybody but the star player. Everyone but Redgar. I think that the player should be absolved. The absolved? No. We offer no absolutely. We offer no absolutely.

Sorry. You think we're punishing everyone? We're punishing everyone except for the note sticker. Except for the note sticker. Well, I definitely have an punishment for the players, which is that they all have to share the notes taking. Yeah. They have to take notes on more than just their own campaign.

They need to take notes on NAD pod. Yeah. We need to go back. Yeah. Start from the beginning. We need you on the wiki. Yeah, we need you updating the wiki. Okay. So they're updating the wiki. What about the DM? Maybe we should sentence the DM to make some incredibly bold and incorrect callings, but do it with so much. Do it so much so much right you have to put your foot down in all the wrong places yeah just one session

yeah this dragon actually has six legendary resistances you don't get a bonus action sorry I'm vetoed no bonus action sorry anyone who hasn't taken a short rest in past five minutes doesn't get a bonus action

yeah you're on a con your short broke your short broke this DM needs to confidently come down against bonus actions A no bonus action campaign. Yeah, so it's a bonus action because it's a gift and you haven't earned it Okay, so order and the next case comes from top hat P. Top Hat P writes honorable justices. And wow, I'm unaddressed. Oh, I'm gonna show you. I told you to realize that.

It's all about the absolutely forgotten. The subtlety. That's the fucking most incisive slate I've ever had. I felt that one in my gut. Just getting a text from one of my PC, saying that another PC was shit talking. Oh. Oh, it's just plating.

My party ran out of water in the wilderness, but I rolled a Nat 20 survival check to find more. The DM said I found a stream, so I drank and filled my water skin. At which point? Poison or something. I was told to roll a con-saving throw. Oh my God, a 21.

The DM then described how my character spent an hour drooling, giggling, speaking speaking nonsense and rubbing dirt in his face. Every other player who drank the drug water experience similar effects with no other water sources. My character who had sworn never to take inebriating substances was reduced to drinking his own urine. I submit to you that a net 20 shouldn't result in my character drinking piss. I wait your judgment. Okay, so was it like cactus water? Was it peyote? Is that what's going on here?

They don't mention that. They haven't. It seems like a calculated omission to be honest. This is a tangent, but my feeling is that it's not as fun, like drug effects that are like you babble incoherently aren't as fun as you picture your greatest fear. Yeah.

You think everyone is your enemy. You see the face of whatever God you believe in. It's just like such a nothing prompt. Really? You don't like piss drinking in your games? Actually, that's not about the piss drinking. It's the babbling and coherent. We all think piss drinking is pretty funny though.

I've no issue with the drinking piss. Do we? Did we drink it? Okay. Sir, we intended to drink piss. Oh,, did we drink this in one of the camp things? Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss. Oh, we have the drink piss. Oh, we have the drink piss. We have the drink piss.

Oh, we have the drink piss. Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss. Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss.

Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. Oh, yeah, we have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. We have the drink piss. Remember, but I can confidently say, Zerk drank. Yeah. Right, it happened. The fog of time, right? That settled in.

Yeah. Thank God we don't do more elder and more live. What's a good devil in D&D lore? An angel? A good devil? Oh, like, no, like a fun devil. Oh, oh, boy. I think there's one called Bale.

I think Bale. As modias, is that a guy? That's like a four-sky. Oh, what about T I think there's one called bail. I think B.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A. It trips off the top. Uh, uh, is there a version where a nat 20, like if you were in some Feywild, it's some kind of trickery or something like that. So here's where I think the player was wronged, because I was listening carefully. And at first I was like, okay, the DM could weasel out of this. Uh-huh. If their excuse was, you were looking for water and you got a nat 20 and a perception check.

Because that's just finding it and M's right. If you're in the Feywild or something and you're looking for something, if you say, I want to find flowers. I want to see that. And then the flowers turn out when you pull them something bad happens. With a nat 20 and a perception check, you would just see the flowers probably. Yeah. I see what you're saying, but this was a survival check. Oh, that's what it's like.

That's true. I was a survival check. I was a survival check. So a Nat 20 and a survival check, that is somebody who has done a good job in literally determining how to survive, and you would be able to tell a bad water source. Yeah, critting on surviving. Yeah, you shouldn be able to tell like a bad water source. Which is critting on surviving.

Yeah, you shouldn't have to drink poison. I could agree with that. I had a 21 con save this DM just wanted to do a joke from like a movie, I guess. He wanted to make you drool, just for a second. Uh-huh. If you get an X-Wayne survival, you're boiling that water.

You're putting iodine tablets in. Yeah, you know what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah, it's a survival check. If you're a perception check, even with a perception check, you probably see something wrong with it. Yeah, I think even with a not-20 perception check,

I think that's the moment where I say, yeah, you find water and you see something's wrong. Yeah, there's, you know. But I think there's like wiggle room there, like there could be an argument. But when it comes to survival, like this is survivalist fucking 101 is why I'm clean water. And literally everyone kind of started tripping out

on the water, so like if you're the DM, you couldn't get away with just making one person that one troll. Also, if you like share this with the people and you were like, oh yeah, like, Nat 20, there's this water, but something's off about it. You know someone in the party. One person in a party is going to be like, I'll drink it to find out.

There's a cold one. There's a cold one everywhere. There's a cold one everywhere. Listen, yeah, you've got fighters that rush in. You've got alchemists that need to drink everything. These are just like the tenants of D&D folks. Like, you're going to get your fun little drug experience. Yeah.

And everyone's going to have a good time laughing at the dodo who thinks they're drinking their own piss But they're I don't know sucking off a bumblebee. Yeah Oh, fun So we have to punish this DM right? He's just A bumblebee. Yeah, thank God you said that because I think you saved the DM from drinking piss It would work it would work Or at least like they have to to have a decanter of piss

aerating in their house. Full of bees. Oh, bees. Yeah. That's cool. What does have a jar of honey and a jar of piss? And both are so yellow and viscous. And you don't know which is which.

Because it's a very dehydrated piss because you can't find one. And you've got to spin them around. Somebody comes in and switches them every morning. Also, and also they're both in Pepsi cans. Yeah. OK, so every morning you're taking a swig of either a hug or a kiss. On your nose, Pepsi can.

A little bit in your tea. Babe, where's my Pepsi on it? OK, sick. That sounds really interesting punishment. That's a really interesting thing. This is because we don't bring up pets he can And we don't bring it. It's our favorite game show honey or Funny or the Pissed honey your

And we're warning we did the talking of the dice at the DM screen should we do this one too? Okay, Murphy's going. He's standing up. He's standing up. He's getting the piss. I can taste his own piss 10 times in a row. You sure? You're guaranteed.

I know the difference between piss and honey. You already had the first one wrong. Oh, okay. But the thing is you've just pulled it up. He's paid money, but it was piss. Yeah. He really likes the piss. So sweet.

Yeah. Yeah, so ordered. So ordered. All right, the next case. Sorry, I got in there with the backup payload. The bail is coming out. We're ready to guess the bail if aren't you. Actually, I'm not a big deal.

I have been a bail. It's not a big deal, but I have been a bail. It's not a big deal. It's a really big deal. It's actually really cool. It's a good job. The next case comes from, I'm your pal Singh to the honorable justices and the frosting

and jam covered bay leaf cake. Oh, interesting. We did jam on you. That's a pretty much cake if you had since the, actually I have a little bit of cake at a mere wedding. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. At a bit of a cake.

At a place where I had a little bit of cake. Yeah, a little bit of cake. I think average. I think average. And average person at a wedding would have a decent amount of cake. I have a bite of jills. Oh, just a bite.

Oh, okay. So the less cake than none, I need to know. I need to know, when you go for the cake, are you going for like the actual cake part? Are you ignoring the icing? What's your strategy here? Oh, yeah, I'm not a major icing guy. Okay, but I wanted to become a cake person.

Yeah. Yeah, no, this all adds up. And how far an animal is entering it. How far an animal is so you? Pie. Pie, but I wanted to become a cake person. Yeah. Yeah. That's all that stuff. And how far an animal are considering it? How far an animal are you? Pie. Pie I love pie. Let's step down and let's drill down on this pie. I think it's that.

My throat, I said what? What? Not me, him. To the honorable justices in the frosting and jam cover, Baylor cake. I bring you the case of the mysterious dolls. Me and my party have been playing various campaigns since 2019 we were recently playing the curse of strad and during pivotal Interactions with NPCs and completing side quests miniature rag dolls bearing the likeness of our PCs began appearing behind us So scary the players and I spent hours and multiple sessions over five months investigating their magical appearances and origins

Only when we completed the main Could I just Five months on the dollar trying to figure out what's going on with these Okay in game or in real life. I think I think I think it has to be there was a thread Yeah, so it sounds like they're completing the regular quest But also kind of side to class like you curious about these dolls. How it all ties in these are the ideal PCs though Someone who's gonna invest this deeply into one thing that you said right. We're moving everything else for but what about these Dolls a bunch of note takers

Only got the Google back only when we completed the main campaign, one of the players, Jovily admitted that he had been making the dolls and placing it behind us as there was no mystery to be solved. Oh, what? I brought it up with our DM, who said he had okayed the idea. The rest of the party were annoyed that at no point over the appearance of the five dolls did our passive perception spot that they were placing the dolls behind us,

or that in our downtime, we didn't see them making the dolls in the first place. The party felt that our time and effort had been wasted. Ah, actually, actually, I'm really angry at the second point. This is way more than the plan. When were you making the dolls? Yes, wasted on a joke between one player and the DM,

so I asked the court, am I just a grump or did one player in the DM collectively waste our time? I should add that this is not the first time this player and the DM have conspired together to run public gags in our campaigns. I humbly and hungrily lay my case forward. It is very damning that they also say that the person put dolls there

because there was no other mystery to solve. How is there no mystery at all in your campaign? Yeah. Yeah, so they just like rent like, all right, yeah, let's just see if these dolls, it's like it's like it's like it's like loss. It's like loss where they just had a polar bear in the woods that they never ever have.

Yeah. Whoa. I thought that the German police out of polar bear polar bear was really early. Yeah. I really remember the hatch. Right. You remember the hatch.

Yeah. Jacob, I think if you would watch the web episodes, they explain the polar bear really. I don't know. I don't know. I do. I want to be mad at this, but it just seems so innocuous. I know, but the fact that if you get mad at it,

you're playing into their players' intention anyways. I don't know. I think though, if to me, it is like a fun, creepy thing. Like, if it was just purely stupid, then I would be like, okay, fine. They're just making a joke in the background. Like, if it was just in the background, like, hard one kept seeing beans or something like that. Like, that's just silly. But the fact that it's like, they're doing kind of a horror campaign, it sounds like, and there's like living dolls or whatever.

That does sound like an actual interesting prompt. Yeah. There's a level of disappointment where I'm like, I think, are we gonna find like a puppeteer or something? I think I don't necessarily blame the player. I think I blame the DM because that feels like something that this player wants to do it. Okay. Now the DM needs to make it make sense Yeah, why don't the DM even make the tie-in is bit of effort to like tie it in?

It's like yeah, that'll be funny. That'll fuck with everybody It's a lot of wild goose chase in my campaign. I love that for me Also, it's just sitting there like on the group text and stuff just knowing everything and just not telling anyone Yeah, it does feel ripe for a double cross where you're like talking to this player and maybe that isn't totally the right move but it is kinda like, yeah, yeah, these don't mean anything, yeah, yeah,

whatever, we're having fun here. But then like, yeah, then it's like, oh, the dolls start moving without your command. Yeah. Be careful what you create. The demons you made it. The demons should have turned it on the player that would have actually made it fun.

Because this sounds kind of funny. Yeah, but also like, I don't know, when you reveal it, I feel like it's just disappointing, right? Yeah. It's very deflating. It's not that funny. Right. It's like, I think it's funny.

Yeah. It's funny to hear, it's funny to hear the story from the outside of it was five months and then you find out it's just two people playing a joke on you. That's pretty funny. But living it and then you find out, it's just two people playing a joke on you. That's pretty funny. But living it and it just being like, oh, that was me. It's just, there's not.

Reading it in two sentences, very funny. Five months of it. When you find out, it's just like, it's just like, I get it. Okay. Why did you do that? Yeah, I'll chuckle a little bit. I thought about these dolls sometimes

when I was like driving to work. Yeah. I wish Ile a little bit. Yeah. I thought about these dolls sometimes when I was like driving to work. Yeah. I wish I didn't do that. I was a bad husband because of these dolls. I couldn't focus. Yeah, it really is such a missed opportunity. Because I do feel like the greatest. I feel like the thing that I really enjoy that DMs do

is when they take something you did and make it mean something more. So this is like a wild swing from a player that you could turn into something really meaningful and it's such a nice stuff for you. Yeah, it's also like because unless you're meticulously keeping track of every passive perception that they failed to see all of this stuff happening, it doesn't make sense. It feels absolutely on the DM to be like either no to the player or yes and all. Yeah. Also, I just don't, I just don't trust this.

But just like, whatever. The DM was just like, whatever. I think I ultimately think that we should sentence the DM. I also really laugh at like when were they making the dolls? Like in every adventuring party I've been in, like it would be, you're not, you have to kind of say, hey, I go off and do something on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I really do have to go to bed for the night that there's anything anybody wants to do. I'm in my own room at the end. I need my own room at the end. Yeah. I mean, you could a hand wave that with like the person being like, oh yeah, I'm going to say a little later and do some crafting, have like a joke

that they're into craft. Right. You know what, I think this DM and this player, because I've got a symbol. Oh, I have an idea. Yeah. I think they have to start making secret dolls. I know. And I don't want it to be a secret.

I want them to take over the Bob Baker Marionette theater and I want to, but I think the point is, showing how hard it is to make secret dolls. Yeah. People are gonna find out that you're a doll actor. Okay, so you have to not only get into making good dolls, but you have to do it in privacy so that no one in your family knows.

Just like me hitting the DM screen, you gotta do it 10 times in a row without being discovered It's a start over making dolls again. I'm talking. I'm talking siblings. I'm talking spouses I'm talking parents if no one knows yeah of the fact that you Anyone says is that dog glue on your ass? Yeah, yeah I feel a little doll foot on your desk. What are you doing with all this yarn? Everyone should this tiny outfit for? I'm expecting.

Yeah. Okay, cool. So you're a secret- Secret Dominic now. Secret Dominic. Wow. And every time you get discovered, you have to start over.

Start over. Make $10 in a row. And they better be good. Cool. And they better be good. Make some good dolls. Don't phone it in. They better be good. Cool. Make some good dolls. Don't phone it in. They better be able to wink.

Like that, awesome. All right, so ordered. Hey, Nad Poles, Jake here and this episode is brought to you by NetSuite. Is your business getting to a certain size? It's getting larger and you're starting to see the cracks things you used to do in a day. They're taking you a week.

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Our next case comes from Catherine S. to the illustrious judges and the delectable Baylif Jero. Oh, I love it. That compliment with a misnade. Yeah, very nice. Very nice to hear you. That one's done. I bring you the case of with a misnade. Yeah, very nice. Very nice. That one's nice. I bring you the case of the unnecessarily slippery frog.

I play in a run of the Frostmaden campaign with my sister, brother-in-law, and their friends as an Elven Circle of Moons Druid named Isilne. Cool. We were recently exploring some half-blooded caves in search of a hag who had been murdering nearby villagers. I can love it. It's great. A murderous nearby villagers and I was scouting ahead

of the party wild shaped as a tiny frog so that I wouldn't be spotted by monsters. I came across an icy bridge which was 10 to 15 feet wide and declared that I was carefully moving across the middle of it using my sticky frog hands and feet to adhere to the surface and hold on tight. My DM asked for an acrobatics check which which I failed, and he narrated me falling off the bridge and dropping down to the ice below. I argued that I was a frog, and my size was literally tiny, so surely even with the failed save I couldn't possibly have the momentum or the slipperyness to slide a full 10 feet

to the left and over the edge of the bridge. The DM ignored my protestations and insisted that that was what happened end of discussion. I begrudgingly accepted taking the falling damage and immediately losing one of my only two wild shapes at the day and a chunk of my own HP, leaving me in a precarious position for facing the enemies we haven't even found yet, where only level three currently was the DM right to make my frog form so slippery or am I justified in being grumpy about the fall and loss of my tiny wild shape? I think the DMs were only make sense to me.

I'm taking it with it. I feel like they just put the bridge there and the idea was when you get on the bridge, you have to make an acrobatics check. If you've got it, you slip off the bridge and it sounds like that's what happened. I don't think you're being tiny by the mechanics affects how fast or how slow you move when you fall.

No. And I looked up frog mostly because I wanted to see the picture on D&D Beyond. It's very good. It's good picture. That looks like the frog. Yeah, it's a great looking frog. Anyone have a tree frog phase when they were younger?

For sure. I was more of a lizard kid, but like I had an affection on respect for frogs. I collected a ton of tree frogs. Not living ones, just plastic effigies. Somehow you made that seem creepy. When you said not living ones, I got scared. And I said, we're going to have to edit this out and then have a discussion.

I feel like there was a racket that they were like, Husky eraser dogs, Husky dog erasers, and plastic tree frog toys. They were just pedaling them to my childhood. If you go to like, buy an um. If you go to the dentist, you're reaching into the prize drawer. You're getting a little tree frog. Maybe it jumps when you push its back. That's a little prize to fry.

But like a bean bag tree frog that I had that I was super into. I thought it was bag tree frog that I had and I was super into. I thought it was like tree frog posters. Oh, so good. Yeah, I can think of like some zoobook covers and stuff. You know what, like the big toy was, do you guys remember those birds that would balance on their beak?

Oh yeah. Those were, I used to, I want a weird little gimmicks like that all the time. Yeah. I want, you know that like, think from the Simpsons with with the bird that would just like power the dip into the water. Yeah.

I wanted that so desperately. Yeah. Actually, Jake, I bet you could get a really mature adult one now. Yeah, you could get one of those really cool little little bros. Yeah. The balls that go back and forth and clink against each other. Can you imagine editing Jigs audio and just hearing the little gentle plank

of the bird's beak and the water? It does, he does bang the desk. Yeah, it's a Merve can imagine. And that's why he's banging the desk to get the bird. Right, it would just be like banging the desk. Like J, can you not just play with the bird while you're recording? For sure, for sure. Just think of some screams if the bird's not there.

So back to the frog game, I saw the picture and it made me think of how cute tree frogs were. Tree frogs are cute. I wanted one of those little lightning balls where you touch it and the lightning like goes to your fingertips. Oh yeah, those are solid. Moving on though, I wanted to just make sure

that the frog didn't have some sort of sticky fingers ability or a climbing speed or anything like that. No, it doesn't. So if you look at just straight up frog on D&D Beyond, unless they were like a giant frog, but they said tiny. So they just got run of the mill frog. One of the mini frogs that Emily collected

in her house in her room. Yeah, I guess the... Was the bridge frozen? Did they say that? Yeah, they said it was like an ice bridge. So it was a perilous bridge. They said it was like an ice bridge. So that it was like a challenge.

It was like an imagine a frog having sticky fingers to go across like a concrete bridge, but if it's icy, maybe you are slippery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a little pretzels fall and then slide off because the bridge is scarred. To slip, like you can keep slipping one fall can lead to multiple.

One failed acrobatics check does not mean that you go, whoop, and like fall, it's just that's the first in a series of events. Yeah, that then narrates before you fall off the bridge. If anything, it'd feel rather cheap to be like, do an acrobatics check to see if you slip on the ice and then you fail and then it's like, oh, actually there's no consequences.

Yeah, you move half a foot. If you had stuck your tongue to the icy bridge, that might be a different story, but you didn't do that. Right, you should've used your tongue. This person went into wild shape and became a frog two cross the bridge. Really? I think so.

Then the DM probably should've communicated to you. Yeah, they could've given you a wing. And been like, maybe don't do that. Yeah, do a linside check, buddy. I don't know. Oftentimes when there's something like this, like, Oh wait, no, sorry. They were scouting head to be a frog that was small enough that couldn't be spotted by monsters It was not intentionally to cross the bridge

Yeah, so I take I think if if you were like I'm gonna be really small So I can't fall fully off the bridge then the day should let you know Right should be like I don't think that you were yeah You were already kind of like beasting through the forest, not being detected by monsters. You were doing a lot and then you got to, you got to a muscle that you couldn't get over. It's a risk of playing an animal with low HP. Yeah, true.

If you fall and you take a couple damage then you lose your wild trick. But with that you get to sneak around. Yeah. I think that we have to punish you, unfortunately. I have to say, I think it's adorable that you turned into a frog, so it really pains me.

You have to keep a bunch of secret frog dolls. Or they have to stay a frog and be part of Emily's live frog collection, which we know existed. Or maybe you should just become a scientist of tree frogs and have a bunch of really cool tree frog facts. But yeah, I can't tell anyone about it. Secret scientists. Secret scientists. Secret scientists. Secret scientists.

There are a lot of them. There are a lot of endangered species of frogs. You could just have like a little frog fuckery. Yeah. Wait, what? Just like a little like greenhouse full of like endangered frogs. A little frog. Okay, so you start breeding breeding them you're breeding endangered You're gonna need to clear this with local governments. Okay, secretly secretly secretly Yeah, so carefully So carefully clear it with local governments or you could operate 12 miles off the coast That's interesting on the same international waters.

Well, if you're good enough, secret frog leader, that's not going to be any questions, are there? Oh, yeah. None of this should come up. Yeah, literally none of this should come up. Right. So, unfortunately, you've fallen off the bridge and into the arms of your new passion, which is frog breeding.

Yeah, very, very quiet about it. Yeah, and they breed loudly too, so a lot of quip hats. So you are gonna have to build a bunker to mulch your ribbing. Yeah, I think going into the mechanics of this, not to like go backwards, but I know with like grappling and stuff, I think you can only grapple somebody that's like, your size or maybe a size bigger, you can go grapple a gargantuan one, a gargantuan monster, whatever.

But when it comes to spells and everything, when people who fail, saves and stuff, get pushed 10 feet back or whatever, it doesn't get into the weeds of if you're small, you fall this far back or whatever. And it can't. There was just a catastrophic event happened on that bridge. Yeah, exactly.

Who knows what it was? Yeah, it's not necessarily one-slip. It happens with the theater of the mind, because you're like, I'm crossing the bridge like this. But the dyes actually tell you, you're crossing a different rock. Yeah, you're crossing different bridges. Yeah.

Frogs can be foolish. You might think that they're always cool and that they never go I'm here to tell you sometimes they do stupid shit Yeah, and you'll find that out as you breathe them Yeah, you're gonna see frogs trying to make so fine about it. Yeah, so quiet so quiet so ordered In our next case comes from Jeffrey P. Jeffrey writes tooth Tuthy Judges and Baylif not picking aside. Well, all right. Okay.

That should have, cause there's three of us. Yep. Yeah. My campaign has been going great. You bet you do the fraud one. We should lot your impartiality. And yet we can do it. Not in this court.

My campaign has been going great for almost a year now. I'm a first time DM and had a few minor difficulties at the beginning of the campaign, but a grown and progressed and I'm great at it. Good now. I'm a first time DM and had a few minor difficulties at the beginning of the campaign, but a grown and progressed and I'm great at it now. Good job, pick a side, go ahead. I love that self-talk. It's so, that's beautiful. Senior praises.

Yeah. However, during an early session, I led a character role at Charisma Check to decide the history between him and an NPC. To my horror, he rolled in at 20 and it was decided that the NPC and that PC had a long relationship in the past and it's been nice to add to the backstory. My problem is that now my players always want to roll to see if they previously dated any NPC they might have met previously and since they all have developed backstories, many NPCs are characters from their past.

Am I wrong for not wanting my players to have dated every single end? Yeah, it's a cool one. Yeah, and Uppsal X's campaign. I feel like this is, this is hard to actually really like this mechanic that we came up with on the fly. And it sounds really fun. I think that's cool in certain instances. I think it's fun if, you know,

moonshine's going to the crick and you meet an NPC or something like that and you're just like, oh, does moonshine know this person? Moonshine is from there, she might know that person, so it makes sense to leave that down to a role. But it's like, does one of the random other characters know that? They're being like a one in 20 chance

if you're just knowing everyone in the world. It's crazy. I think you gotta open up the charisma check to be more nuanced than did I date or not. Yeah. If you're like, hey, if they want to do that charisma check, you can be like, you're not their type romantically, but on a nat 20, you really helps them out one time and they owe you a favor.

Right. You know? And I think only specifically like from your hometown or something like that. Right. There's no, you don't have a five in 20 chance of knowing everyone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's kind of like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon type. Ooh, I like that.

Where you roll and they won't know you, but maybe you'll know the same person. Yeah. Or it could like warm someone up to you. You know, like, oh, I know this guy, you know this guy. That's interesting. Now we're kind of tied together somehow. If we do more, we have like a thing on the mixed bag

that we're doing called Twilight Sing Torum, which like takes place in a little city and you guys play private investigators. And this would be such a good mechanic for that because you guys have all been living in the city. Yeah. Three generations of private investigations. Three generations. So I just feel like I like hear this and I'm like, oh, that's such a fun way to be like, what kind of history do they have? You don't have to iron it out. You can figure it out on the fly. Yeah, I think it's, so I want to credit you. I think that's really fun.

Yeah, it sounds like you did it in a cool moment. And now your players just think that's precedent. And I think all you got to do is just set up boundaries and be like, that is not about dating. It's not about dating. It's not about dating. Yeah. And also it's not about dating.

Yeah. You didn't date everyone. You don't know everyone. Because you're not everyone's type. You can crit on someone, but if you're not their type, you probably didn't fuck. That's right, put it on a shirt.

Right. It's really true. You can crit and you still might not be their type. Yeah. Especially me wearing this shirt. You can crit it, but you can't hit it. It's that shirt. It's maybe it's like a,

on the front it says that, says hit it on the back. Right. shirt. It's maybe it's like a, on the front it says that, it says, hit it on the back. It's great. You know what's interesting is I feel like this DM, I kind of don't feel like it's as much of their fall as the throwing the dice at the DM screen. Yeah. They're similar vibes where you set up a precedent.

Right. I think your players liked too much. It is technically on your shoulders. However, I think it's such an easy fix. Yeah, but it's also like, people like kind of badgering their DMs. And like, I know that you're thinking like, oh, I'm not giving them what they want,

but if you tell them no and actually little grumpy about it, they'll like that justice right. They don't know all the things that they liked yet, because they didn't even know that they liked this mechanic as you said it. I have to make it a cool thing. of the things that they liked yet, because they didn't even know that they liked this mechanic. Yeah, yeah. You said it. You have to make it a cool thing. That only comes up every once in a while.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the further they get from home, the more you can shut it down to. Yeah, yeah. I think also that once you start shutting it down, the moments you allow it will feel extra fine. Oh my God, imagine the first time you're like, why don't you roll to see if you know this person?

Yeah. Like, you introduce a spurned lover. Oh, fuck, get the first time you're like, why don't you roll to see if you know this person. Yeah. Like, you introduce a spurn lover. Oh, fuck, get a special dice for it. Mm-hmm. You're gonna roll the relationship dice. Wow, it's just a super horny D20. Right, there's a used to sell it Spencer's gift, like where you would like massage lick or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah, get a six dice for it. Yeah, just a six dice. We're gonna make your tea. Perfect honestly. Yeah, when I was dice. Yeah, just a sex dice. That's what it was. Perfect, honestly. Yeah. When I was 13, I was like, I can't wait till I'm old enough to use one of these.

That's what I was talking about. Like all the adults doing sure. I'm sorry, honey, it says lick again. I'm going to go to college and massage everybody. Yeah, I guess what makes this a little, I'm trying to think, right, because we have precedence in support today. Yes, we do. We said that if you introduce a mechanic that then your player is falling love with, it's

up to you to lay the law down. But I will say, I think the slight difference here is that this is used in specific instances I think is a good idea. Versus when somebody hits your GM screen and you say, yes, you get advantage. You think that's very funny, but I think that's not a good idea. Unless we increase the distance to 10 feet. Unless we do 10 feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because still, maybe if I try to catch it as well, if I can catch it, then I can walk a bit like a golly yeah. Before finding is like in these two separate gardens one of them has something that needs to be literally uprooted and the other one has something that needs to be pruned. Oh that's a beautiful metaphor. Yeah, it's just a garden dice. I love it. So who's punished in this case?

I think you know what? Let's go let's uh, should we go around? I think we gotta punish the player. Yeah, let's go around leaning. I feel but it feels punish the player. Yeah, that's kind of my leaning. I feel, but it feels like it is the D. It feels like it is pretty similar. Yeah, you gotta lay down a lot. It feels like the fix is on the shoulders of the D.

Should we punish the whole table? Let's punish everybody. Let's just punish everyone. Okay, can we give them a fun punishment? No, let's make it really severe. Yeah. I mean, what if, okay, so we were talking about having to like prune, because this is a good idea.

Yeah, so secret pruners? Oh, that's good. It's a secret, a literal secret garden. A literal secret garden. So it's kind of like pool hopping in the suburbs, but you're gonna hop into someone's backyard and just like you become fucking primmed their hedges. So you're basically like, we'd water, but like you're building a garden at someone's house and they don't know. Yeah, and they're gonna think maybe like like gnomes or elves have moved in

and they're like just like growing beautiful flowers. And you need to let that rumor grow. Yeah, I think this is what secret garden is about. It is, yeah. Okay, yeah, cool. It's about hedge hoppers. Hedge hopping. This isn't a great movie idea actually.

Okay, so ordered and with that, why don't we step into church and hear a confession. Alright, okay. This one comes from G money. Good morrow, fair, justices of the supreme and the bailiff of little consequence. Whoa. I bring an account before this panel of witnesses, which I believe must be considered equally a case of justice and a holy confession. Mmm. I bought some new liquid core dice. I love my new dice. Their dope is shit. And I love that.

What is the liquid core? I have seen that. Literally a core full of liquid. Yeah. It's got like goo inside and all swirls around. You got to smash that goo and put it on your dams screen. Yeah. Easy.

Juck it in a dns screen. You need to fortify the DM screen. Therefore, I'm ashamed that I have sinned against Dice Christ himself using my beautiful new dice. No. As his conduits and as impartial judges of Bohumia and Beyond, I beg for forgiveness and acquittal. May mercy preside over us all.

So much freedom. So much freedom. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh my god. A full paragraph later. If you attack someone with this dice, we can't defend you. Right. I broke him and drank the liquefied. And then I drank my own piss.

The dice shop from whom I bought the dice replaced a number with their logo a favorite feature of mine I have other dice with the same feature and it always adds some extra sauce to a natural 20 until recently You see I've been rolling these new dice assuming the company's logo had replaced the number 20 However the other day I rolled an actual in that 20 Staring up at me. Who puts their logo on the one? Yeah. Did they put it on the one?

Exactly opposite where the number one should be was the logo. To my surprise, I've been claiming natural 20s that were in fact natural ones. I immediately came clean to my party and DM and have not made the mistake again. However, the shame of this mistake still soils my conscience. No. You're innocent. This is regular goodwill hunting.

I think you did absolutely nothing wrong. Yeah, the fact that you confessed right away, and that is crazy. Yeah, I've never seen anything like that. Your assumption was totally normal. It's got an ad pod behavior. We should actually do this with our next slide. Right, put it on the two. Classic off deprecating. Yeah, just don't, but don't describe it at all. We should actually do this with our next little dice right put it on the two Only way to know is by looking at Your dice pop out with a piece sign Oh, then we can't get still confusing still confusing. I think it should be like way too many words

It should be like nad pod dot com or something like that Jakes Instagram way too many words, you'd be like nadpod.com or something like that. Oh, it's a great one. Whoa, it's just like Jake's Instagram was, I will say not that. I get why you got to like put your own spin on the dice, but I do love seeing that 20. I do love seeing that 20. And so I do kind of like that. But putting the logo on the one is crazy. I would never think that's what I'm saying. I think there's a grammar to dice and this person was being a little e-commings

with their dice and it's not on your face. They were done dirty. They were done dirty, like a dice shop. So you punish the store? Yeah. We demand penance, penance from the store. Okay, yeah, send us your right. Although the store is kind of just

giving out people in that 20s. That's kind of nice. But I do think that I think the store has to become the domain of the church. Okay, we're gonna need that lease. We're gonna have to take over your warehouse. We are going to be bulldozing the inside of your store and replacing with a frog fuckery.

Oh, there we go. A very secret one. On the down mountain. Super double. I love those hot hatcheries, a fuckery. Oh, there we go. A very secret one. The downma. Super downma. I love how it's not a hatchery. It's a fuckery. Yeah. We did, yeah, I mean like the eggs are of no consequence. Yes, and actually last line of this confession, my only solace is that I play a half-link. So any of the natural ones I would have been real.

So I think it's not even that serious. Yeah, you know what? It's a one after rolling a one. Definitely. It's not your fault. That's crazy to put the little one. I thought it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's your fault. So forgiven.

Yeah. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back in session with more cases over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nad pod. That's any DDPOD don't sing yet. Yeah. We'll try to talk to it. Oh.

And the meantime, is anyone have anything they'd like to plug? Yeah, dude, if you're listening to this right now on a week from today, or so, we'll actually be in LA. Oh yeah. Whoa. You can come see us do this exact thing live, possibly tonight.

Yeah. And we have a bunch of other live shows as well. So check those out. So that might get jam or fly paper or some other weird substance from our case. Dotcom slash Exactly. That lost Angela show will be October 26th Denver on October 27th Sacramento on October 28th Portland is sold out. Thank you Portland. Thank you Then we're gonna be in New Orleans November 14th Orlando November 15th and for Lauderdale a.k.a.

Court Lauderdale For Waterdale, AKA, Court Laws. Court Laws, or Derell. Right, for another dungeon court on November 17th, so check those out. Mm, nice. And you can get those tickets at nadpod.com slash live. Exactly, go get them. And you can follow us on social media. They're a mirror man I use at C.H. Merch. Me, I call these called wall,

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Muah, muah, muah, muah, goodbye, sweeties. That was a HitGum podcast.