Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Flying Eagles, Shrunken Towers and Bird-lesque

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Supreme Crit Justices Murphy, Axford, and Tanner, as well the Chill Bailiff Hurwitz, as we try your cases. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! CREDITS: Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Justice's Tanner and Axford, and then of course, the holy. Loli, Baylor, Jake. Loli, I don't know, Honorable. Honored to see you, honored to see you, Justice Murphy, honored to see you, Justice Axford. We have to be Loli. Honored to see two of you.

Baylor Perwitz, it is a pleasure. A disgusting thing that I have to bear. A disgusting part of my day that I must gaze down upon you, but it must be done. Even if it's not honorable, that's fine. Just, you know, good not to be disgusting. I gaze down upon you from my lofty bench, and I actually twitch with compassion

because I've been where you are. Yeah, and I look at you knowingly because I want you to set it up that bench. Okay, we just share a really knowing nod. No, I mean, my head's in the clouds. I look at you and I say, you, beautiful mortal. As you unwrap a really slimy, turkey sandwich.

Classic patronizing, eternal's behavior. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm eating a baloney sandwich and a full piece of baloney falls off on the top and slapshake in the face. Oh my God. Yeah, we really should have put you outside of the splash zone, again, at least 10 feet away from a MERS podium.

Yeah, the decorum is broken. And with that, we will throw to Baylor's Jake bailiff Jake here you here you crit is now in session the honorable Supreme crit justices expert Murphy and Tanner presiding. That's right. It's good to be here. Well spoken mortal It hurts to say that after the intro I was Give you a knowing nod You did and I appreciate it. You do the best with what little you have I was given that to the intro. I was given that to the first friend. And I give you a knowing nod. You did, and I appreciate it. You do the best with what little you have.

I threw you down a poncho for all the food that falls off of a MERSPENCH. And it is a lot. He keeps a very dressed baloney sandwich. All right, the first case comes from Arwin R. Arwin writes, may it please the court and the average bay lift. Okay, I don't like it when other people do it. The Tsar bay lift to throw Bolognian.

This is our beautiful mortal. Yeah. Protect me. The fiery passion of a human burns within him. How dare you insult me? Yeah, we are detached and godlike and look at him with all of his beautiful feelings. Thank you.

Thank you for ogling me like a zebra in the zoo. And his sun damage skin. Oh, how delicate. It was a long summer. May it please the court and the average bailiff. I was in a campaign where I was co-DM because the group was so large. I was in a campaign where I was co-DM. Oh! Because the group was so large, I was the original DM.

I ran story, he ran combat. We were in a fight on an island surrounded by lava. One druid went to cast reverse gravity and the other druid prepared gust of wind to blow all the bad guys into the lava. The co-DM used counterspell, which made my group very despondent. I looked over at the monster stat block and I saw that they didn't have a high enough level counterspell to instantly counter.

It should have been a roll off. I whispered to him that the druid should get to roll for it. He was firm that there would be no roll off. To this day, my group is still very upset about the situation and it kills me to know that they were not given the chance to roll. Should I have stood up for my players and made the other DM be true to the stat block and made it a roll off? Was I in the wrong for staying quiet? This is how Rome fell. This is how Rome fell. They once had a beautiful system.

Two ruling consoles and yet they moved to the Empire system because one would not stand. This is how it happens. You have to stand firm. Okay, so that's what I was gonna ask. Is this like, I was gonna actually throw it to call well, is this, because this almost feels like a parenting thing, right? It's like, you have to, don't you? I feel like this should have been a private conversation. Yeah. Don't you kind of have to,

like, you're supposed to present a united front and then privately you can have, like, you can be like, actually, I think that Beth should be taking violence. Yeah, well It is all about Beth's violent Beth's shit Beth really should be learning the violin Yeah, Beth whatever you want I just talked to mom for a second. I talk about this We're gonna buy a violin for best a fucking quit another activity Sure how to fun time at horse camp

Why don't we buy Beth a recorder team? We haven't reached that stage of parenting yet because we can just say whatever we want in front of the child We're still at you know that's pretty. I thought she was pretty advanced though. She is, and she knows when we say fuck. And she laughs because it is hilarious. It's very funny to her. Okay, so you don't have a parenting take on this. You know what, honestly, I think it would be a power move though

to be like, can I speak to you outside of the room? Yeah, you can't do that, you can't do that because that's weirder. Oh, you think so. Yeah. Can I speak to you? Just a firm, can I speak to you? Can I speak to you outside of the room?

It is like haunting. I think you have to be really casual. I think you have to be really casual. I think you have to be really casual. I think you did the right thing by bringing it up. But I also, look, I understand, you know, I think you don't want the DM fudging roles or anything like that,

but you do have to make rulings. And there is a reason for the DM screen is that they're juggling a lot of balls. So to kind of sit there and second guess that and to be like, oh, actually, I can see back here and the accident that's not here. But you know what, you wouldn't need to, you wouldn't need to actually see though,

to be like, oh, counter-spell, what level are you casting it at because reverse gravity is like seventh level. Like you wouldn't, you could have, like almost as a player, set it, you know, like and been like, oh, what level are you casting it because it reverse gravity seventh. So if it's like less than that,

like then you would have to roll. Yeah, that's also really creative spell casting too. And that's kind of ashamed to just take it away from your players for no reason. And it's not even a roll off. It's just a roll to stop one of the spells. So it's like, do you guys know what level reverse gravity or the gust of wind is? It's seven for reverse gravity. So the DC 17, and if it's a high level creature,

they would have been able to pretty easily beat that I would bet. Yeah, yeah. So they probably would, they definitely could have been able to pull off the counter spell, but it does make it feel more fun. It makes it feel, if you're gonna take away a cool move, like it's more fun to lose that cool move by the DM being like, I'm gonna roll this one in front of the board.

Yeah. This seems like the benefit of having 2 DMs, which is like, I don't know, you have someone to like help you out and check your work because it merfs right, like being a DM, you're juggling so much and things do fall through the cracks like that. And it feels weird that the combat DM would like double down on something like that. When, you know, I can see why the story DM would like want that to be more open because it's more fun if they get to overcome that counter spell. Yeah, I think it's tough though because I kind of don't know where I land on this right now because I do think there is something kind of the worst idea about having two DMs is one sitting over the other one shoulder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it's the back seat driving. Yeah, because there is an aspect to it. about having two DMs is one sitting over the other one shoulder, directing them on individual abilities.

It's the back seat driving over. Yeah, because there is an aspect to it. I was going to say the same thing. There is a flow to a session, and there are times when rules just get a little iffy, and it's just like, hey, sorry, guys, just going to overrule this. And then the second you call out the other DM

in front of the other players, then they won't trust that DM in the future. And then suddenly, and then suddenly, you go from this cool thing of like, oh, we're co-demming to maybe you're just are the full time DM now. Yeah, imagine every time this person's telling story that DM is like, what's this guy's motivation though?

Yeah, actually. Why would that happen? That's actually a plot hole, I think, because this person. Can I talk to you outside the room real quick? Yeah, this is actually a huge plot hole because of this. So I think ultimately, you did the right thing.

It sounds like maybe you brought it up at the table. So I think it's okay to casually bring it up, but more so as a player. But I think that actually ultimately, even though that move was a bummer, I think it's possible that that person was just overwhelmed by details and wasn't really thinking. And I think it's like for the sake of it, it's okay that like a bummer happened, that's fine.

Yeah, but you respected the domain of rule that the combat DM has. And that's important. You maintain the balance. There are two different lanes. You are doing your job, they're doing their job. So I think that's pointing something out and being like, you have now, I've given this other DM, the information, and what do they wanna do with it?

It's ultimately their call, their combat DM. Can I just say I love the idea of having a combat DM to just throw to be like, I don't really wanna like balance the challenge ratings here. Like you just handle this, just like cut it over to DJ combat, I don't really want to like balance the challenge ratings here. Like you just handle this. Just like cut it over to DJ combat. Let's do this. Yeah.

DJ combat. It makes me think that like there's just like a combat specialist who you can just like hire and he just like when and you're like, okay, combat specialist is coming at five. We're going to do a little RPF war. Yeah. And then it basically like busts in like a stripper sets up like I hear you've been a very bad adventure This is swaying me a little bit because I feel like I would be a good combat DM And I think if someone was over my shoulder telling me the character stats

I'd be like get get the fuck out of you. I'm your two good of a story DM. You know, thank you I Either one you didn't do I'd be a loss. I'm saying. I'm saying, either one you didn't do, I'd be missing you. But I'm saying if I was Compat DM and Story DM was over in my shoulder being like, actually, these are all of five or six to get the breath weapon back. And you're sitting there being like,

huh, they're already gonna win this fight. We're just trying to make it a little tense. I'm not gonna kill anyone with the fudging. We're just gonna bring them to the edge so that we can have a good fight. Is that okay with you? It really does feel like mom and dad driving on a road trip. What this person is learning though is that maybe they're ready to be a solo DM. I love that though. I think that's cool. You're ready for combat. And your players are gonna love that, because that just means twice as many sessions.

Yeah. Your DMs are getting divorced, but that's okay. Oh my God. You're gonna get two sessions a week now. And then you guys can play. Yeah. And there's a Nintendo at Combat DMs house in Asaga at Story DMs house.

Whoa. No. All right, so do we want to rule on this one? Yes. Yeah, here's the deal. I think that what the other DM did was wrong. I think that this sounds like a really cool player move. Why not do something fun, like roll in front of the table?

But I also think that as a code DM, you're kind of part of the mafia and you're kind of a rat. So you can't go against the family. You're kind of going against the family here. So I'm gonna rule, I'm gonna rule in favor of the combat DM. Oh wow. Okay, I think this person, this person was kind of just saying, do I need to do that? Should I have done more?

So I think they already weren't they did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think you might be ruling in favor with them. Yeah. Yeah. So then who do we punish? Yeah. We punish. Should we just punish this group of players? They already got punished once. Yeah. Well, the DMs have to get divorced, I think. I think that both. I think yeah, the DMs absolutely have to get divorced. divorced. Yeah, divorced. Oh, this is divorce court now This is Who gets bet who drives bet to violin camp? Yes, right bet has violin camp a questrian training So here's just get she's thinking of getting into ice hockey all the most expensive hobbies damn bad

She's the almost expensive hobby. Damn bad. She also wants to be playing the standup bass instead of violin. Oh, she's the guy that's so expensive. We're gonna have to haul that around. Actually, no, she said also the harp. She's interested in the harp. First of all, you have to buy a suburban. You have to buy a Chevy suburban for all of that.

Horse riding, Isocki and harp, a nightmare child. So expensive. Isocki is truly so expensive. I remember I used to take skating lessons when I was a kid. And once I got to the hockey level or whatever where you need to try out for the team, my dad just sat me down and he was like, how bad do you want to play hockey? Because it's really expensive. And I was like, not that bad.

He's like, okay, good. And we just, this is just not one of the sports you play. I think a big part of parenting is like finding a way to make it seem like hockey doesn't exist. Yeah. Because that was a big practice. Or hockey team practice in the room. They practice a little more than five.

Yeah, it's nice because you have to. Yeah, so Beth needs to get driven with all of her patch. She's the Goli too. So she's, oh my God. She's got Goli pads. Yeah, and you're bringing snacks this week. You also have to bring your own horse to a questery and training.

So you have to get a trailer of it. And the horse also is gonna wanna learn how to ice skate. It is ice polo, so like you're gonna have to be doing that. Yeah, so combat DM is gonna need to be like the hockey dad. Yeah, and you're the you're the horse parent. Yeah, and have to do all the equestrian activities. Yeah, you're gonna have to divvy up upright base on your own though. That's just a linguala.

Yeah, okay. Perfect. All right, so ordered our next case comes from Kevin W. Kevin writes, may it please the court, the magniliquant justices and the rad skateboard Baylif? Oh, look at that spark you have in your heart, you rad skateboarding Baylif you. I would appreciate to be treated like an adult,

but that's true. Can you actually skateboard? No, but I- You have to be really honest. If I'm being really honest in sixth grade, I had a skateboard and I would go up and down my driveway and I just kind of tried to Ollie just so I could destroy my shoes enough

so it looks like I skied. Oh my god. Ah. Ah. Ah. Oh, I had a skateboard. Did I just... Did I just skateboard?

No. The idea that that would work. The idea of like your peers, like looking you up and down and their eyes finding you and destroyed shoes. And being like, oh, cool. So you like those air walks look a little too nice. Your whole combs were so tattered by man. Oh my God, those America shoes you skate. This guy definitely doesn't try hard.

This rad skateboard,'t try hard. This rad skateboard bay lift. Alright so Kevin writes, I feel I was robbed. For context our characters are fighting in a theater but combat started with all of us scattered. I played a half-yuan tea, half-tiefling circle of stars druid and I was in the catwalk. I cast conjure animals to make four giant eagles appear. My plan was to have my eagles grab my arms and fly me down the catwalk. I cast conjure animals to make four giant eagles appear. My plan was to have my eagles grab my arms and fly me down to the stage. My DM said no because I don't have mounted combat. I said I just wanted to use them to safely get down and they would just be holding me. He said no. I think those eagles could have grabbed my arms and their talons and flew me down. Absolutely. Absolutely they could have. Mountain combatant doesn't mean you can ride it.

Mountain combatant gives you advantage on attacks against creatures that are smaller than your, it's like Mountain combatant is a feat that basically amplifies riding. He could have done an animal, he could have called for an animal handling. Yeah, they have plus three to strength too. They're no joke. Yeah. And this would have been their turn. This would have been their action would be like delivering you down.

So it works within the economy as well, I think. And it looks super cool. You're basically like an angel with like 12 wings. That's red. So would you guys agree that Kevin was robbed? I think you were robbed. You were robbed. Wow, okay, so this is basically an open and shut case,

it would seem. Yeah. I think so. I mean, perhaps I'm missing something, but the phrase mountain combatant is a feat that, yes, so weird. Because you are the other thing. Other people can ride animals.

Other people can, it's like you could say like an animal handling check, but like, yeah, mountain combat, like you can like redirect attacks to your mountain stuff like that, it's like a totally different thing. Yeah, it's a like an animal handling check, but like, yeah, mountain coupat, and like you can like redirect attacks to your mountain stuff like that, it's like a totally different thing. Yeah, it's a totally different thing. This is, it seems like overkill on the, this is a huge, it was robbed!

Also, it's not like they said, I could understand if it's like, oh, this is their big bad evil guy at the end of the campaign, and I wanted to use the eagles to drop them off a cliff or something, and it's like, yeah, resist resisted it. It's like that's one thing. This person was trying to get down off a catwalk. That's insane. That's so easy. That's a feather fall. Improvised feather fall. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, much higher level. Yeah. Yeah. What do we think about making this DM go to an opera only written and acted by birds. Oh, bird opera.

Oh my god. We call. Well, I really think you're on to something. Okay. Okay. Bird calls. As a punishment or as an actual opera. No, there's a separate business idea. This is every business idea. It's like a forever. Birds can really have such beautiful calls. And like if you were to show them like hot birds or something, they might be inspired to do. We have to get a bunch of birds horny. I'm just saying like how do you get a bird to do it song? If you showed it a hot bird, they would be like, I wanna meet you.

It's a meeting call. Emily's right, what you're gonna have to do is before the curtains open, you're gonna have to get all the birds hot and bothered. Right, so we do like, essentially chippendails, but for birds because the males are usually more colorful and like doing like, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're doing like peacock stuff.

They're like flashing their colorful wings. So we get some one hot ass dude bird on stage and then we get a bunch of horny lady birds in the audience. And they're just going ape shit. And then there's just one random SDM in the crowd. That has to be around this. The birds are in the audience.

What kind of operas is this? Yeah, it's not for birds. It's not for birds. Birds, Jake. The birds are, it's chippendales. It's chippendales. It's chirping dales, Jake. What don are, it's chippendales. It's chippendales. It's chippendales, Jake. What don't you get?

It's chippendales. Jake, have you ever heard of a Magpie? It's a bird that collects shiny objects. They have the money for admissions. Yeah, they bring the shiny objects. Take the theater. Take the theater. Know how to barter it, my man.

Don't you, what don't you get? Yes. This is so quick. This is so quick. We pick up all the shiny objects when the show is over. I was on board for this insane idea. You lost me when birds come to the opera. This is a way to get a revenue stream

from the previously closed off economy of birds. A bird? No, there's so much money we can tap into from humans. This is frankly untapped. Do you know how many straw sleeves we're gonna get? Straw sleeves. They're always back in building nests with them. We are going to be right.

I feel like we're leaving a lot of cash on the table from humans. We're gonna start a straw sleeve business. For humans, we're gonna get so much twine, dude. We're gonna be as a punishment. As a ball of twine. This DM is going to need to start this business with Jake. So we need this person to invest in the Bernabra. Yeah, a business that I only have believe in. Yeah, it's destined to fail. Yeah, so that's part of their punishment is having a co-owner who fundamentally doesn't believe in the business.

It's gonna be a rocky road. Owning a business was someone who's one foot out the door. I'm a Louvre, to be sure. Every single day you have to wake up and sell me on this idea. Otherwise, I'm trying to check out. Check is the opposite of an angel investor. You have a investor, I guess. Okay, so ordered. I have a investor, I guess.

Okay, sorry. So ordered, I don't know why I just got fucking punished. Oh, yeah. That was great. Our next case comes from Miles L. Miles writes, may it please the court and the most honorable bailiff there it is. I'm running a relatively, no, no, you guys don't, you have a problem with them.

Point against them when I'm okay. I should just be regular. you guys don't, you have a problem with them. When I'm, okay. I should just be regular. No one would say anything for or against me. I'm running a relatively new campaign in which my party was defending a magical temple from Marauders. When the enemy leader entered the central chamber, my player, a gnome arcane, trickster rogue,

crit on a opposed athletics check to grapple one of his lackeys and put her sword to his throat. At this point, I told everyone to roll initiative, as this was clearly an act of aggression, but she claims that she just wanted to talk and that this should have been given her advantage on some kind of intimidation, right? What did he do? Was I in the wrong?

Can one have meaningful conversation while threatening someone? I throw myself to your mercy. Advantage on it? I could understand, like being like, I actually was using mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I's no self-respecting bad guy that's gonna be like, please don't kill one of my henchmen, stop! I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. It's true. You know what? I think it's also okay though, like I guess like in that moment, you could have been like,

you can use this turn to attack them or you can use it for an intimidation role. Yeah. If the intimidation role fails. Grappling. Grappling people and holding a sword to their throat, that is your surprise route. So you've done that.

Now if the player wants to say, I do an intimidation check, great. That person is scared and shits their pants. You got a roll initiative anyway. I would argue that you need to determine how popular this minion is. Like, if they're the coolest minion and all the other minions respect them,

then maybe the minions would mutiny to save this minion and rebel against the big bad is what I'm getting to know. No, no, you say no to this. Yeah, maybe a trin of Elbrough. I think that, like, it's how it is, huh? I think I suppose I'm like now thinking of like the nature of an intimidation check. And if putting someone in a grapple would even necessarily go under that. Because I think of how a lot of times DMs will use it is like,

oh, if you like destroy like that henchman's partner in front of them, there might be an intimidation check, but it's like more like them witnessing something or hearing something rather than, I don't know if I've ever had a DM be like, because otherwise, anytime that you did an attack, you could be like, can I do an intimidation or check? Cause I just hurt them. Yeah, right?

What if we just strip away everything here? Yeah, the big bad, all of that. Like in bird opera, you strip everything away to get the birds all rolled up. And get the bird, bird's party. Yeah, just hot nude birds. Pucked and ready. Pucked and ready to fuck.

Pucked to the flesh. Pucked and ready plucked and ready to fuck to the flesh plucked and ready to fuck a Little to do with this opera That's the name of the opera Tagline for sure. Why are we calling this an opera? This is a strip club That is a black time I to wear black top. It's a Venn diagram. All right, I'm out now. Now I'm out. I'm down for a first trip club. I wish it were you.

I'm out. It's only me and Kevin's DM. There should be no one involved. I'm pulling my money and I'm starting a first trip club. I don't understand why strip club and opera need to be separate. There is a Venn diagram and that's where this exists. Right in that sexy hole in between those two. Are you guys talking about bird less?

Nice. What do we think about that? That was because I'm back in. I'm back in. I'm doubling. I'm doubling back in. What are we talking about? Jake, you were about to make a point before we start.

Oh yeah, horny birds again. Strip this completely away from the bad guy and everything. The core of the question is, as soon as you grapple someone and hold a knife to your throat, are you rolling initiative? Yes. Or can you say, I'm trying to do an intimidation check. But that's fine, it's initiative.

Initiative is not combat. It's what everybody does on their turns. That's true, that's true. You don't magically just get to do whatever you want to do. That is one tip plus falls over the court. I would give this tip to every DM. That's grapples. Yeah, roll initiative all the time.

Yeah, I was going to say the same thing that like sometimes the initiative comes. Initiative does not mean we're battling. It means like this is a moment when everyone's making really quick decisions at the same time. If all of us were sitting around, if we were all mobsters and we're all from like opposing families, and we've all got like guns under the table, and it's like the table gets, you can't just say like, I flip the table and shoot everybody.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no, we're all super suspicious of each other. We roll initiative, and maybe on my turn, I just look over at Jake and see if it looks like he's up to anything, and I prep a reaction to do something. You don't necessarily need to beat the shit out of somebody on your turn, but you do get a turn if you go first. And I think that this person, like, they got the grapple. I agree, they got the, they're a rogue, so it's not like they have like two attacks.

So, like, I think if they almost got this grapple in a surprise round, then I think it's kind of like they don't have to attack. So it would make sense that they kind of use their surprise round. And it's kind, it is really up to the DM to decide if like, if like, hey, in this world grappling someone, like means that you get to intimidate them or does it mean that it just, yeah. I think, and I agree with what Murf said of that.

Like, initiative isn't about being in battle. It's more like, okay, how do we quantify how everyone is making a decision at the same time? Yeah, yes. So Murf, if you were running this and they grappled them and that's their surprise round, would you allow them to also make the intimidation or would they have to wait until their turn?

I think I would allow them to make an intimidation, but also I don't think it's out of realm of, as soon as people start grabbing each other, roll initiative, and now let's figure this out. I think it's also a little bit on the player's shoulder to if you're like, hey, can I try to intimidate them by grappling them? Rather than being like, I did this.

Can I do this check? It's kind of like better to be a little more like, hey, can I do this so that I can make that check? Yeah, really? And drilling down even further on this question, the player says she claims that she just wanted to talk and this should have given her advantage on some kind of intimidation role.

So it sounds like what this player is asking for is, I grapple this person. I want to roll an intimidation check with advantage. But I also, yeah, I think that person maybe, like, that's kind of like that person, that someone making an assumption that isn't actually really based off of the roles in the game. Yeah, it's asking for advantage. Let's say this happens, right? Let's just say Star Wars because this is easiest, big bad. This is Darth Vader.

Darth Vader walks in a room with a bunch of stormtroopers. You jump out of nowhere, grab a stormtrooper, put a knife to their throat. Roll initiative. That's Dan. Yeah. Don't do anything to him. Now, what happens? That stormtrooper, you can say, on their turn, that stormtrooper may not act, that stormtrooper,

maybe you get an intimidation check against them. Oh, yeah. But you can even say that I think it's a little bit hard-assed, but I think it's reasonable to be like, they hear you fucking tackle this dude. There's a wrestling match. Like that is your surprise round. You don't get to get out your threat before now everyone rolls initiative.

Yeah. You still might win. And they're rogue. They might go first. Let's also think of what's actually more fun. If I'm an party and we're like, okay, let's fucking get this henchman. We go out, we grapple them.

Everyone roll initiative. And then everyone's trying to convince everyone's got a specific turn to try to scare this henchman into. And that feels like more of a fun gameplay anyways than just being like, can I just like get a can I just have a vanish? Can I just have advantage please? And you said that you're asking your DM like, can I do a blank check when it's not really obviously called for you have to do it with a shitting grin and know that they're probably going to say no.

Yeah, it's true that like, and I'm guilty of this as well, but like the better way to do it is just like to describe what you want to do. And then like the DM will call for the check if they think it's worthwhile. Like, yeah, it's not out of the question to like ask for a check sometimes, but I do think it's like, it's more fun and like more flavorful to like just say you're doing something to try and intimidate someone and then like the DM will like give you the check if they like what you've done. Yeah, exactly. I think I think it's like being like, oh, can I try and grapple them? Like can I try and intimidate them by grappling them? Like your DM would understand that you were again though

I don't know that grapple I put like someone would necessarily. It seems like in both of these instances, the player is pretty firmly in the wrong according to this court because they're asking, they're saying, one, we shouldn't be an initiative because I was just trying to do intimidation and I was just trying to get advantage. And I think an initiative is fun.

I think it's fun. People should be rolling initiative fucking all the time. It prevents things like what happened. You'll hear me throughout NAD pod. I made this mistake early on where I would have people giving like speeches and then it would just be like, I shoot him and then it would just be like, oh, they killed him while he was talking.

That was stupid. Why the fuck was he talking? I do love a bad guy's speech though, as an opportunity to be like, I quickly do my action thing that both. Yeah, but I think that that's it. But then as soon as somebody says that, you say roll initiative.

I know. And then the bad guy gives their speech on their turn as they do their action. And that keeps everybody honest. And that's like, look, a bad guy might be giving a speech, but as soon as they see you go for your gun, they do their fucking sped up. Everyone's just trying to get a sneaky little turn in

before initiative starts, because on initiative I have something else I wanted. Yeah, exactly, I don't want to spend my initiative here. Get out of here, get out of here, I miss. Get out of here, I miss. I want to while they give you a little speech, be like, cool, I cast my room. Yeah, no, initiative, initiative, initiative,

all the time, initiative. Doesn't have to just be combat. The court moves ever south. Ha ha ha ha. I do just want to say that I love the idea time initially doesn't have to just be combat the court moves ever south I Do you just want to say that I love the idea that Darth Vader has a favorite henchman and they're like sweating under Their mask when Dan gets pulled aside I want to do an inside check on Darth Vader to see if they're lying. Oh my goodness. See, that's definitely a shock.

That's definitely a shock. Quite frankly. Yeah. It makes sense to call for an insight check. It feels a little audacious to be like, can I just like have a performance check with advantage? To me, like any time, any time DM calls for initiative, that's just like, hey, this is getting messy.

People are wrestling. Let's slow down and figure this out. It's also fun. It's also fun. It's also fun. You've already gotten the surprise grapple in. You're good. That's your surprise round.

Everything else is up to DM discretion. And yeah, I just think that let it play out after an initiative happened if the player was like, and then they just had the stormtrooper just like break away and run away and no one gave a shit, nothing happened and I wasted my whole turn. Then yeah, that's bullshit, but like let it play out.

Let an initiative play out. Yeah, it'll be more fun that way. So how do we punish this player? Okay, well, I think. They have to go to Berthiode. Yeah, definitely Berd Lesk. Berd Lesk? Berd Lesk?

Or Berd Lesk? It's a punishment to have to go. How was that? A viable business. How about we bring the shiny objects. Jake, it would be a punishment for a few things to go for content created for birds. Yeah, I feel like we want humans that own birds going at the very least. Yeah, we have a bar attached.

We have a bar for you. We go near, expect the birds to arrive on their own. We go near vending machines, okay? Yeah. Okay, this is what we do. We go near, we build the theater near a vending machine. We hire vans, we just add a vending machine after the fact to break the vending machine.

So that change is all over the place. I love it. But so that the change cannot be. And maybe we're near the. and not be traced back to us. And why not steal it? We're near the first grab. We're near the coast too, so we can get some sea glass. Yes. From the. Sorry. We like own the lease on a fucking on a ball. Like a huge theater. Right. And we're trying to pay for it with sea glass and change from a vending machine. Correct. Do you know what the overhead is at Burv? Fucking, that's for you.

Well, okay, but wait, wait, Jake, I'm actually going to change your mind because think of how many birds can sit in one human seat. That's actually not what happened. We can pack this thing. That's a magic pass fire. So you essentially have homemade balconies, kind of. Yeah, I can get around the fire code with this.

Yes, I like that. If the show is sexy enough that a lot of Ravens and other like homemade balconies, kind of. Yeah, I can get around the fire code with this. Yes. And I'll take that. If the show is sexy enough, that a lot of like Ravens and other Corvids, we can train them to bring $100 bills that they've stolen from people. Whoa, I did not even know they did that. I can do that.

I don't know if I really want to deal with like bills. Yeah, this is really what we need cash. Jake, again, this is for you and the DM to figure out. Yeah, this is not really my problem right now. Yeah, this is really my problem right now. Yeah, this is big picture stuff. I'm just a bird less fan. I'm not an investor. How many comps do we want to set aside

for humans at bird less? Let's not give us too many comps because we do want to earn on every ticket. Well, my family, I would like my family to see what I'm working on. Yeah, yeah. I just feel like the family should support us and pay for seats because otherwise like I said the rent is high Maybe we should open it up to some human purfs that want to see sexy birds

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have like on Opracites for the bird purfs bird purfs welcome because I need more cash flow in this business It can't all come from a broken vending machine. They also need to pay and see glass Can they use cards can I please have a square if it's shiny? It needs to be a really shiny car. Yeah, it's like a like a mastercard black. That's kind of got that shiny Yeah, yeah, the MX Platinum should definitely, definitely pull that over. That'll do.

They do need to deposit it from their mouth into my hand. Yes, yeah, we won the card, not the money on the card. That's not great. So ordered. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts,

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Kevin writes, please the court and the animal loving bailiff. Actually, I've been lobbying against bird You just doesn't get it you're a beard birded in pure sin. Okay, I forget me. Wow. I forget myself You do sit on the court so you can forgive yourself. I do I present the case of the attempted shrunk mage tower I was DMing a session when my PCs came to a wizard's tower. The sorcerer said they wanted to cast Reduce on the tower. I told them to do an Archonic check and they rolled well enough for me to tell them that the tower was very magical and this would most likely not affect it.

She still cast it anyway and I said that I would roll a save and if it was a one I would allow it. I rolled a 15 so it did not take effect. There you go. The conversation started about how, like, if this could work since this bell doesn't roll a save and if it was a one, I would allow it. I would have 15, so it did not take effect. There you go. With the conversation started about how, like, if this could work, since this spell doesn't specify object size for reduce. So I ask you, should I have even had to roll for this?

Can you reduce a building with this spell? I mean, come on. So I think it says like a creature or an object you can see within range. Yeah, I mean, I think it's like- A building's not an object. If that's the language of the spell. Can you imagine just being like, okay, bad guys castle. I'd like to cast a second level spell, make it tiny, and then I would like to step on the building.

It's like, come on. Or the building itself will crush the bad guy. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I think a building is not an object. Building is not an object. It does kind of bring up the, what is the definition of an object? And perhaps Andy has a very specific what a definition of an object is.

Because you could say, well, an object can't be a composite of many parts, in which case you could say, well, but then couldn't anything be an object? Is it a chair, like a seat with legs and stuff like that? A stick of gum is an object, isn't that? Yeah. So I think that, but I think that, like,

fucking building isn't an object. Yeah, you were plenty kind to be like, hey, first off, to give the warning to be like, hey guys, just so you know, this isn't gonna work. And then they do it anyway, red flag. You could have had it fizzled and just be like, cool, go ahead and mark that off your character sheet. Yeah.

That did do anything. But if they do do it and you're like, cool, I'll roll in front of the table, tell you what, if it's a not one, you skip the whole thing, great. We don't get to have an adventure today, isn't that fun? No, I think there's a fun way to do that too, which is that you reduce the tower,

but since it shrinks so much, it doesn't actually hurt the wizard as it shrinks. It just like the top of the tower crumbles around a very angry wizard whose tower you've ruined and now they're gonna kick your ass. There's ways to do that too. Yeah, sure. You can still have that fight.

I think you're opening a bag of worms by being like, you can level cities with this level two spell. It's like a second level spell. So it is like. Does it say how much objects reduce when you cast that spell? It says that it reduces them by half. One eighth? Oh, is it just half?

Oh, it says the target size is halved in all dimensions. And it's way is reduced to one eighth of the normal. This reduction decreases its size by one category from medium to small, for example. Okay, so it would be the change of that much. I just think a building isn't an eye-catching, I think that's the, yeah. It's also kind of just a turn of house into a tiny house.

You're like, that's still kind of fun. You know what I realize is you do have to be kind of particular with the definition of object, right? Because everyone has an object interaction on their turn so suddenly. Yeah, it's like an object interaction on their turns and suddenly... Yeah, it's like an object is like one of the stones that the tower is made of, the object. Yeah, an object is, yeah, a door is an object.

You can't be like the whole tower. Like that's a collection of objects. There's so many things that... I think if your player is mad at you, like they were being like a little, if I had an idea, even half that overpowered, I would be preparing myself that my DM would say no and I would say, you have to try. Yeah, by, yeah, by that one, if I get a not one, the second level spell becomes the most

powerful ninth level spell that's ever existed. Yeah, I think that was, that was like crazy. It's anything, if anything, it's good you didn't because then they're gonna nonstop try to reduce everything all the time and then that's the entire campaign. You know, that's the problem with players. Players are always just wanting to, they always just want to skip challenges

instead of like exploring them. It's just like, I would like to, I would like to get out of playing today, please. Although for my experience with a wizard's tower that Murph made for us, I would have liked to reduce that. Yeah. I think about all the fun memories we have of you guys shooting out the windows.

We would have just skipped all of that. Yeah, it was really funny. I love going to Six Flags and just reducing it all so that I can look at the Six Flags. Six Flags and object. Six Flags and object. That's a great comparison, although it's like, actually, can we not ride any of the roller coasters? I don't want to put this in a snow globe, so I can enjoy it.

I want to own the roller coasters. That does make me want to think though, like, what is the upper limit? And in my personal perspective, right now, this is not actually diagnostic, but I'm like, what is the upper limit? Like, the biggest object that I would be? I would say something like a ballista or something.

Yeah, I was almost thinking of catapult, right? It's like a catapult almost feels like, that's a huge object, but you feel like you're like, okay, that could be a reduce. Yeah, I feel like even once you get to like a ship or something, you're like, no, no, no, this is full of objects. Like a vehicle, I think it's not an object. Oh, a vehicle?

A vehicle, a vehicle. A vehicle. Transport objects. Yeah, what's that A vehicle. A vehicle. A vehicle. Transport objects. Yeah. What's that? A single bugle you could reduce, but a bag of bugles, no. Right.

A bike you would all, you would say, would be an object, right? I think it's a size thing. I think I don't know if it says it on. Or like a wheelbarrow, I would say it was like, you could. Does it say it on a larger wheelbarrow? Reduce. It doesn't have a size thing. How would it work like around a hen house?

A hen house, I think you can really do. That's another good name for the opera, actually. But that is a building, right? Especially to a hen, it's totally a building. That's that, to a hen, that building is everything. Speaking of hens, they should come to the bird less. Yes. Oh, hens are definitely invited.

The player for their hubris, I think, has to invest in Jake and this DM the bird less. Yes. Oh, hints are definitely invited. The player for their hubris, I think, has to invest in Jake and this DM's bird less venture. Yeah, I think so. I think that the real catch. I think that what they need to do is they need to come along every single day, spend all their spell slots enlarging the hot birds of our bird less.

Oh, yeah. So that's like, they're even bigger, like, bodyer, more bird to love. They need to enlarge the seats around the theater because I need more asses of seats. You have to have that cash flow. Maybe they should be reducing the seats around the theater so that they're bird sized. Oh so we can add more. Yeah, we can really think about. We can think about giant sea glass. Whoa! Okay, yeah, they're also enlarging the magpie trinkets that we use as currency.

See, right there when we call them trinkets, I feel like that really signals how we, we have been blood-dried for a while. They also might need to enlarge the vault in which we keep all of our fucking Yeah, we're gonna be raking it in yeah earnings. There we go tools. We need like high value items Okay, well, I'm all in on this so glad that no choice. Yeah, great. Yeah, you sign the contract I love out we started with this bit about Beth and all of her things and we just fully hard pivoted to bird-lask. Hard pivot to bird-lask.

Beth is like, you know what, she's old enough now, I think she's ready for bird-lask. Yeah, bird-lask would be one of her after-school activities. But I don't know if we want, Beth hasn't been able to stick to anything. She gave up horseback riding. Yeah Violin will be inspired by the birds you know flopping around up there. Yeah, I really need team players on this And the sea level suite that I have here So ordered all right next case comes from K. P. K. writes may it please the court plus the respected and beloved Baylor. Wow. I'm playing it on a little bit. A little bit.

Yeah, I thought so too. Yeah, we've heard neutrality. My DM is drinking hard from the MIRF soda and wants a PC with the party. Okay, wait, can I just pause for a second? Yeah, we have a moment. I thought, I thought you were just gonna say that the DM was too drunk.

Yeah. Yeah. My DM is drinking really trash. I'm just like, hey, my DM is actually really trash. I'm just like, hey, my DM is really trash. I'm just like, hey, my DM is really trash. I'm just like, hey, my DM is really trash. I'm just like, hey, my DM is really trash. sip of bourbon he does go mmmm, merfsoda. Which I wish there was a case like that. That was just like, hey my DM is actually really trash.

I guess. Yeah, I guess, I mean, it definitely happens. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. That was so funny. I would honestly, if we weren't recording, I would get trashed while we played. Yeah. That was true. Like at some of those late nights,

when we're all together, like if we weren't recording, I would just be mainlining whiskey and other things. Yeah. Travis made us martinis one time while we played. Yeah. Oh, dangerous. Hell yeah. That's the easiest glass to spill.

Let's play a couple sessions that aren't recorded just so I can get turned. Yeah. All right. Anyway, K's DM is drinking from the Mervsoda classic, not alcoholic. God, and wants a PC with the party, her very own boundore. Unfortunately, her PC is a broken home brew,

pixie named Miss Rainbow Butter. A name we must repeat fully or she will not respond as her PC. Dumb name aside, our issue as a party is her PC is designed essentially to bypass overcome or trivialize any event she throws at the party. The party as a whole is losing enthusiasm. She claims she does not want to stop being DM but refuses to let Miss Rainbow but her die for the sake of the party. This is wild! I have to be really honest, this is wild.

The wild part? You're about to hear the wild part. No. Oh no! How did you break? How did you break? I did break. I did break. How did you break? I did break. How did you break? I did break. How did you break? I did break.

How did you break? I did break. How did you break? I did break. How did you break? I did break. I did break. How did you break? I did break. I did break. I did break. How did you break? I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did break. I did. I did break. I did break. I did drove to the grocery store. I've drove to the store. Yeah, I drove to the store. Okay, okay, okay, okay, get to the worst part because I've been enjoying how uncomfortable this is making me. Lastly, she feels as DM, all snacks and treats brought to the campaign, her house, are

hers by right and will take all the brownies or cupcakes, allowing everyone to have one. But she will slash take the rest rest even hiding them from me. No, people that made sense for you. We are you. Should we mute me against her PC and desert tyranny? Okay, I really think this person is maybe something's not working in their life and they are on a weird power trip.

You need to desert it for desert. The main thing I'm gonna say that's really different about why this is not Murf soda is that like, Murf does what good DMs do. It's like, you wait to find out who the DMPC is. They attach to someone and then you retroactively give them stats and you make them a little bit weaker than the party.

Did you imagine if Murf was like, Bounder is awesome. Hey guys, Bounder rules actually. Hey, oh, Bounder actually has more tax than you guys. Yeah. That's not someone who wants to be a PC. Yeah, but he has the snacks. Murphy has all of the snacks. Yeah. Take your desserts and dessert this place. I think this sounds like a really weird energy. This sounds like a bad time. I will say to defend myself because I hate that I got grouped into this. I first off Boundore. But I think I will say to defend myself because I hate that I got grouped into this I first off Bound or I but I think I don't I don't know I do need to defend myself. I choose to I was called out. I was called not going to go on the attack. Yeah

Bound the attack It was drawn from the deck of many things you get a fighter that follows you around So that was my plan on him dying quickly. Yes, and he almost died. I almost threw him out. He's weaker than the party. And if you notice, I use him to be like, you know, if it would normally be something where it's like,

hey, roll an insight check or something. Instead, maybe I'll have Balnor be like, maybe this is the direction, like kind of gently nudging people in one way or something. Instead, maybe I'll have Balnor be like, maybe this is the direction, like kind of gently nudging people in one way or the other, Balnor never figured out the puzzles. Balnor, I think the only time he got the last blow was on the dude that killed his family. And that was like, we were all rooting for that.

And that's also like, I mean, that's just so earned. I really think that no DM should ever introduce an NPC that they're like, this is my DMPC. Let it happen. If your players decide to adopt one of your NPCs, and you, it's also different, I think like, people tend to swing one way or the other, but I think there's a nice way to do it,

which is like, if your NPCs don't do anything when bad things are happening, then it'll make your players be like, why the fuck do we do everything in this town? It's definitely okay if something bad happens in the city to have the city watch help out or to have random people helping in battle, that's fine, but they should be weaker than the party, they shouldn't outshine the party. And if you do end up having a surrogate, a guide or somebody join the party, it should be because the party is asking for that.

It should be like an old Cobb situation where it's like, you guys literally were like, you gotta come with us. And so it's like, okay, sure. It's on, yeah. That's how I really feel. But this is, on to this person, this is an insane situation. This is beyond though, this is how I really feel. But onto this person, this is an insane situation.

This is beyond though, this is really beyond. And the snack thing, that's like, really fucking kills me. Really confusing, because usually, sometimes I'm like, kind of like, oh, we should be great, but this person is maybe on a weird power trip. I don't know what's going on there. Yeah.

This is, and also in NPC that will only respond to you if you call them by a certain name. It's just really wild to have around for more than like one session. That overstates its welcome very quickly. This seems to me like just from obviously a very distant observer. All we know is this crazy case that we got. It sounds a little bit though like that this DM might not know the scope of like how maybe

discouraging this is to players because it does. Yeah, because it sounds like a lot of the stuff is maybe done as a joke, but it's going to, but it they enforce it though. it is real you know what I mean? I seriously doubt when people are showing up with snacks that they're like being really serious about it. But I thought it was a joke but I was like but then they'll only let them have one. I know that's I wonder though if it's a situation of like they're doing it as a half joke half serious and just no one's pressing them on it. I don't know.

I'm trying to like read how this could... I think we're saying like we don't totally know what's going on with this person, but this is not a normal situation. Yeah, this is a normal. What's happening is not good. Yeah, Murph always lets us have two of our desserts. Yeah, you guys are allowed to have each one too.

Yeah, and he only throws out a quarter of it in front of us to show us that we're bad, baby. I feel like the host is allowed to have first dibs on the left of us. If you bring a plate of brownies and there's half of them left, it's like, oh, does the host want them? Or do you not want the responsibility of like keeping the dish? I really think that's your call.

Yeah, it's really like manners, right? It's like, you should offer to leave the food. Like if you brought over like a pie and people eat half of it, like the person who hosted you're like, oh, do you wanna keep this? Yeah, I think that would be normal. But it would be weirder for the host to be like,

oh, make sure you leave that. Yeah, leave it. Make sure you leave your left hand. It's like, you brought it for me, right? Yeah. To boost you. And I'll also keep the dish. If you tug on the label of this drink,

you will see that Murf Juice peels off very easily. And underneath is Bad DM Juice, you know what I'm gonna say. This might be a little bit of a self-fulfilling thing, where I think like DMs put a lot of work into stuff and we get a lot of cases where a DM will be like, hey, it was, there was that one case where it was like it was my birthday and everyone freaked out at me because I Interpreter the rule this way they interpreted it that way we got into a big fight and he left and didn't pay for the pizza There's a lot of DMs. I think that our

People don't acknowledge the fact that they're putting in way more work. So this might be a situation where the DM is kind of looking for a little bit of that special treatment, but instead of allowing their players to just be like good friends and acknowledge that, they're trying to force it,

and thus now the players don't want to show that they're thankful, because frankly, they're not thankful, they're having a bad time. So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of players are mad. So they don't want to like do nice things for the DM. DM forces nice things. Now they don't want to do nice things. DM forces nice and it just keeps going in a circle. And it's got to be organic. It's a bad loop to be caught up in. Yeah. You have to break the cycle. How do you break the cycle? Maybe with a punishment.

I think you break the cycle by having this DM bring brownies for all the birds at Bird Less. Oh, the birds are gonna love that. They will get sick. They will have to get sick. We do need a concession. We need a concession stamp because they're gonna work up appetites

with how horny they get. Oh, and that'll be actual. That'll be cash. That'll be where we make our cash. That's cash. That's cash on pocket. Yeah. I'm just like, make sure you know all these bird wings, just like rifling through their feathers

for their wallets. Yeah. I'm so horny, I need popcorn. But yeah, I would definitely, I would encourage this player to, it sounds like. Yeah, I don't even know how to have this conversation though to be like. Yeah, I wonder, because maybe this person who is DMing,

whenever we get a story about like a DM with like a DM PC, that's like super powerful, I'm always like, maybe they just wanna be a PC. Because like if they're just really into making a broken character, then like that's actually not with DMing. Right. And it could still be at this person.

This person has too much power. They're DMing and it's at their house. They're keeping the snacks. They're inserting their own characters. If you make them a PC, someone else DMs, this person still gets to eat the snacks. And they can make their broken character and have fun with that. And maybe that's missing for them. And so they're putting too much effort in that.

And so they can itch that scratch. And until then, they'll be operating the concession stands at Burdless. That is, your broken character has to now just be reduced to just operating the concession stand at Burdless. This rainbow butter is gonna be slinging seed at Burdless. And I gotta say, when you run the concession stand at Berthlask the end. This rainbow butter is going to be slinging seed at Berthlask. And I got to say, when you run the concession, when you're in the concession stand at Berthlask,

no one's calling you by your name, okay? They're calling you sweetie. Oh my God. Oh no. We're going to get shut down. No, these birds need to be respectful. I'm going to have to help with this business for two hours and I'm already getting canceled. I'm pulling respectful. I'm gonna have to help with this business for two hours and I'm already getting canceled.

I'm pulling out. I'm out. Great, you leave him behind. You're hanging me out to dry, man. I'm pulling my money out. You need to get your audience under control. More sick this way, hun. We've stopped being the judges of this Supreme Crit and now we're just the judges on Shark Tank.

Investing or not not investing in bird less Let's do one more case. Okay. One final case comes from Mateo C. Mateo writes May it please the court and her royal Christmas Emily expert whoa Already I'm really in favoro's team next question. What are you doing, Bail of Bouch? Bouch! What? My players were looking for sponsors to enter an amazing race style race around the world

and after many fails, eventually scored a sponsorship with Victoria's Secret. And you were given branded yoga pants to wear. This sounds really fun already this set up It sounds like you guys are having a really fun campaign AKA skinned light armor. I decided I decided that these pants would give the party advantage on ass-based charisma checks But our true would have at least said they should just have advantage on all charisma checks because knowing your butt looks good Is a confidence boost that the rest of your butt looks good is a confidence boost that creates the rest

of your personality. That's a good set of good stuff. That is a really good sell. Your honors, was I wrong to limit the advantage to merely asked based charisma checks or should the Victoria Secret Yoga Pants allow the advantage on? I'm gonna tell you right now.

I'm gonna tell you right now that this is actually the hardest one we've had today because I actually see both sides like so well of the cheeks. I see both cheeks right now, so well, because on one cheek it's like, okay, well, having that limitation means that you really have to get creative with how you use your,

how you make sure that your charisma checks are as based. But then the other cheek is like, that actually is a really good point. It's just like having that beautiful but boost your confidence overall. You know what you could have done? You could have been like, okay, that's a really good point. It's just like having that beautiful butt boost your confidence overall. You know what you could have done? You could have been like, okay, that's a really good point.

You get a D4 to all charisma checks. Oh, you know. You know, like essentially like a bless on all your charisma checks, but just advantage on ass based ones. On ass based ones. What's the rules is written on Aspaced? Yeah, I think that's what is an Aspaced?

I'm going to surprisingly think. I think it's like bending over. It's like think of like an 80s movie like bending over and being like, excuse me, let me pick this up. Yeah, oops. I dropped this piece of C glass. So, cook it up. Oops, I dropped my sword.

Maybe you don't want to be attacking us. Yeah, I see. Here's the thing. In which case, we would probably have this advantage on that because you would be in a fight, but in this case, yeah. It'd be a great thing to do during a fight. I'm actually basically making yourself prone.

I think you can rule with the player because I think that if you're going to go this far, you have to just keep going. You know what I mean? If you're like, hey, you're in Victoria's Secret Yoga Pants and you have advantage on ass-based charisma checks. If your player says, but now I feel really great about my ass, like, wouldn't that shine through all of me? I think you have to be far-assly. I think it was shine through as of me? I think you have to be very honest with it. I think it was shine through S&D4 and not advantage.

Maybe. I think I'm with Murph though, because there's president for this in Bohumia, I guess, because like at one point, hard one got a cool hat and it boosted his charisma checks, I think. So yeah, it wasn't just hat-based checks. It wasn't just when you tip your hat, total. No, it was all over the place. That's all just flavor, right? You could also call this ass vantage,

which I feel like. Yeah, that's very good. That's very good. I think I'm down with either, but I think that you could have easily been like, I like that, but having a confidence boost is different than rolling with advantage. Yeah, but I think that's like,

like their argument is good, but it's a confidence boost. I think the reasons that you're doing it. I think the reasons that you're doing it. Aren't going to get you that far a lot of the times, especially when you're talking about just doing like an amazing race type run. And I think also to use you know a term from our bird last. You don't want to you don't want to pigeonhole your players. Having to use their pigeonhole is a is a number for sure. Pigeon hole in the context of bird less because incredibly

Vocatives if you want to say pigeonhole go to this go to the bird's trip Love doesn't happen to be less, but you want to I think you want to give your players and ask out You know what I mean like so that they don't have to like maybe your players are like If someone was funny, but I don't I don't want to I don't want to be Someone were shy for sure absolutely read the room and if someone were shy, but I don't want to be a big alert for everybody. If someone were shy, for sure, absolutely read the room. And if someone were feeling shy about that, but if they felt, if it seemed like your players were down to really try to figure out how,

then I think that's okay. Yeah, I also think, I think that's a fair argument to be like, if we're gonna say that my butt looks amazing in these, then that makes me feel good. And thought, I am confident. It's all about confidence. it's all about confidence. It's all about confidence. Essentially, what you've just done is you've been like,

Ruby Tuesdays exists in this world, but you actually can't order bottomless fries here. Like, I'm sorry. You know what I mean? You're already so silly. I do not understand. You're already so silly. Yeah, oh.

I'm saying you can't, I'm saying you're making rules on top of a house of cards right now, like you're building on top of like this party so silly. I honestly don't really feel strongly. I just, like I said, I just think it's funny either way. And I think you could have done D4 just as a confidence boost. You could do a D4 or if I can provide one other option,

you could ask for Tase on persuasion. Nice. Oh, that's fun too, I like that. Yeah, that's true, you could just pick a skill instead of being like all charisma checks, it's like performance or like whatever, whatever. And then people can choose how it works for them so they could be like, it helps me with performance

because I do a dance or it's with performance because I feel good. Now I have a more convincing thing. All of this is ruling in the players favor because it all extends past the ass. The confidence goes beyond. Yeah, so we do actually, unfortunately, have to condemn the DM. I condemn the DM. I'm so sorry, Mateo.

Especially because you said we're gonna rule with him when he first started this. Yeah, that's true. You know, things change. We weren't on board with Bert Lesk, and now we're a full investor. But we also do love the sound of your world. It sounds great.

Yeah. Having your players need to get sponsors and then it ends up being victorious, secret, and it's like light armor. It's really, really fun. Maybe Mateo has to provide spandex for all the birds. Oh, it's custom birds, spandex. That's getting a lot of work.

Yeah, you need to be the bird costume. They have tiny little legs too. Yeah. Yeah, I dare you to make a fucking bird's ass look good. Yeah, that is your goal now. Oh my god, Mateo loves the challenge. Your goal is to make bird asses beautiful. Well, my college boyfriend draws birds with really,

really good asses. I think his name is Tommy Siegel on Instagram. So go check those out, because they're actually really, really funny. I think he just did a calendar of all these birds with asses. That's very funny. Wait, is it like a fleshy human ass or is it just a cliff? Yeah, yeah. Okay. He just like has a whole bit where he pretends to be really into bird watching and then is like trying to get better at drawing anatomical birds but they always just have like human asses. So everyone just go check it out and laugh at it.

Oh, good plug. Oh, sweet guys, let's go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash and ad pod. That's any DDPOD don't sing yet. Yay! You should listen to our bonus cases.

We're going to be doing more over there. So check that out. Does anybody else have anything to like to plug? I'd love to plug our live shows. Oh, yeah. I believe we have very very few tickets left in Seattle and Minneapolis. Chicago, Boston, sold out. San Francisco sold out. So sorry, come through in Minneapolis and Seattle. I'm so excited. A lot of birds are trying to claim those seats. Oh, yeah Yeah, our live shows are going to be bird less now So we're committing good so bring your sea glass And we should also plug that next week we have Trinivail.

Correct. Oh, yes. Sorry for the stuff ahead of time. But yes, next week is Trinivail two-parter, so two weeks in a row. Very exciting. So we'll be back with them. Yeah, these episodes are certainly for the birds. Yeah, they're really fun.

And also check it out, I'm going to be on, I'm not sure when their episode is coming out, but I'm gonna be on three black halflings having a chat with them pretty soon, but check out three black halflings anyway, because it's a great show. Check them out. So I'm gonna plug them regardless of if I'm on there or not, but I will eventually be on there.

Wow. Wow. Sweet guys, you can follow us all on social media that we may or may not use at CHMurf is me, at ColdestColdWall, at the Extra Demole and at your girl, it's Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag, nadpod, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are our, the youth representation, we are our, the Earth of the Nation, Dun-jin, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders, let's get right to it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, Matt M. and Darby M. A D&D group made entirely

of DMs. Brad D. is the combat DM, Jeff S. is the story DM, Haldor is the wacky tangent DM, Steelbreaker is the emotional cathy tangent DM, Steel Breaker is the emotional catharsis DM, Matt M is the shop and tavern DM, and last but not least, Darby M is the snack DM. Now all they need is some players. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Dylan B, and Dungeon Mama. Beth's bunk mates at Equestrian Model UN Astrophysics Chess Camp. The daily schedule is totally overwhelming, but the zip line totally kicks ass so they're

all making do. Danielle the Dastroly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, Scott D and Danny P. Bird Opera season ticket holders. At first they didn't love the theater's pivot to Bird Lesk, but after watching an all-newed version of Vi-by-Burdy, they were renewing their tickets for the next decade. Oh, mama, that's a lot of sea glass. Mixologist Michael McD, Vincent W, Balmore's boy,

Andrew B, and Justin I. Darth Vader's five favorite stormtroopers. In fact, the main reason he wears that mask is to hide the fact that he's constantly making kissy faces at them. Nice! Regnar Faredwin, TGM the gnome barbarian, Klee E, Elena M, Traleigh the cray-fay, and Jared E. Wizards whose job is to cast the reduced spell on fancy cars and limousines so that ultra-rich birds can attend bird-less in style. Sure, it's a bad use of their wizarding degrees, but as all bird-billionaires say, money squawks.

Demiil R, cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Gage M, Philbert the Fabulous, and Richard X Machina. The bird-less costume department. and Richard X Machina. The Bird Lesk Costume Department. These talented tailors made history and proved the world wrong by creating a pair of tights that can make a goose's ass look fierce. Love it. Michael L. Trash the Traveler, Sir Carl, Jory S. and Calum L. People who tried to get tickets to Bird Lesk but had to settle for the Lion King on Broadway instead. Luckily the Zazu puppet in that is pretty hot, so it all worked out. Jack L.

Flawless Whale Sam L. Nicholas C. Sam B. And Mike H. The Inventors of Murph Soda These talented colabruors have found a way to condense Murph's essence into a drink. Sure, it involves trimming his hair while he sleeps, but hey, you can't mess with success. These talented colabruors have found a way to condense Merv's essence into a drink.

Sure it involves trimming his hair while he sleeps, but hey, you can't mess with success. Udujmuluk, the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E, Colton B, Adam G, Megan S, and NEED BADGER. The only human performers at Bird Lask. They may not have feathers or beaks, but when you watch them flap, chirp, and squawk on that stage, you will swear they hatched for megs. Impressive. Panama James comes into the bard. Captain Cigil. Nathan C. Grace G. and Diana. Victorious secret supermodels who can't confirm that their butts give them advantage on all charisma checks. Woo! Shake it! C.C. Lulu, Barnes & Aitor, Michelle O. Alex W. and Timmy are. Bird Lusk performers who strip by molting their feathers.

Their strip teas is taken anywhere from two years to several years, but someone argue that only increases the teas. Ooh, I would agree. Jonathan W. The Crock-Waring Warrior. Lucas B. Aaron S. Eats Kevin. And Bionic Pookie. Beth's overworked team of tutors

that is making sure she knows chemistry, calculus, and speaks fluent French by the time she reaches pre-K. Get ahead of the curve. New York. KDW. Cass. Steven C, Michael M, and Mike K, Rogues who have expertise in stealing the DM's treats. It's not honorable work, but it keeps their bellies filled with brownies and cupcakes.

Mmm, deliciously dishonest. Taco, the Queen of Curling, Joy T, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, and Esmi M, the Queen of Curling, Joy-T, Jake L, Nick W, Brave the Badger, and Esmi M, the friends of divorcing Cody M's who have been forced to choose sides. Nick W, Brave the Badger, and Esmi M all elected to go with a fight DM, and Jake L, Joy-T, and Taco, the Queen of Curling, are doing nonstop all the time role play with no physical contact. You're making the most of it, good job gang. Kelsey C. Nathan Kazimir the all-knowing.

Big bad beard of the mad. Giant monsters on the horizon and Goliath Julia. Vocal coaches for the bird opera. It must be heavily stressed that these are not the same vocal coaches employed by Obsidian or Lake. There is more than one vocal coach in this world. Thraft! Burle T. Percival Fredricstein von Mussel Klasowski Derrolo III. Christian A. J. Dragonborn. And Joro Theonapropro. Ooh, Beth's stable of horses.

See she's been taking equestrian lessons since she was four, so she keeps outgrowing them and needs to get new ones. It's a financial nightmare and it's tearing this family apart. What are we going to do with all these horses? Jeez! Cody B, Liam D, the Sandrian, Bin A, Fel Donas, and Dave H. The various venture capitalists that Jake keeps trying to pawn his shares of the bird opera onto.

The problem? He actually already owned a controlling share of this amazing idea. Sorry Jake, money squawks. Vivian, Koala Bear, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, and Dustin S. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Keep K, Connor F, Hawkeye Pierce, Isabelle F, The Time Walker, and two Left Eyes. Members of the DM Mafia, if you rat on any of their behind the screen secrets, they'll break your rolling fingers. Kapish, DPC is awesome, Blair, the bug Blair Marmarion, Kat C, Pork Chop, Chanel M, and Valacy Raptor.

The birds who created Bird Lask, they were just pecking away at some seeds when their clothes started to fall off and bam! A new art form was born. Minette F, Pat L, Achoo the A, Lauren H, Amber W, and Elias Hawthorne. The judgemental parents of Beth's classmates. If Beth can't get it together for her Harper's Cytle, these absolute goss-a-pounds are going to make her the talk of the next PTA meeting. Good luck, Beth!

Alex H. Ryan S. The Bone Duster Robert Crisps, Brent Ly See, and Micah B. The most dedicated parents in Beth's neighborhood. Their kids all participate in Horse Hockey, which requires 5am practice and transporting a horse in Goalie Pads. That's dedication. Ploups, Carlyanne, Laurie P, Seth AJ, Spam Gaming, the not-so-skilled gamer, and Connor Savage.

The wealthiest birds at Bird Lesk, the grand total of their shiny object cash is worth at least $2. Wow, unattainable. The 1% of birds. Christopher J. Pebblepot, Logan S. LaFyathan, Bioquart 7, Running to NCD and Umbar Dixstruss DMs who run the game as an elaborate ruse to horde snacks. None of their players are allowed to have a bite, and in fact, they're required to feed them grapes during any scene description.

Honestly sounds fair. Throw the fright, Sull of an H. Drob Hopdropper Sydney T. Matt Y. and Alex, Sys-Sys-Sys-C. Creators of Victoria's Beacrit, the only lingerie for birds, genius, so simple, yet so brilliant. Sydney, Jake, CZA, Matthew J, T-R-E-P, and Noah. Beth's hockey coaches, she'll stop at nothing to reach her goal of becoming a New York Islander. Godspeed, Beth, Godspeed. Estelle, Baroness, Soashton's romance partner from the Barathees, conflicted DM, Justin

LB, Dandy, and Jennifer R! Other Baxy DMs in Arwen's game. Only rather than second-guessing spell saves, these players are constantly asking to change the radio station and begging to pull over for fast food. Wow. Richard G. M. Barber, Marcos P. Pop-Kaelish, Gabriel M. and Learns the Boundons Druid. Horse Trainers at Beth's Equestrian School. All agree that Beth isn't cut out for horseback riding, but have decided against telling Beth's parents since they like the cash. Can't hate it. Dakota JP, Pegos, self-proclaimed fake prince, Tracy P, the Crick-O-F librarian, and E. Scrump

E. Bogpipe, and Lisa M. Bird-loving humans who are pretty pissed that they will not be allowed to go into the bird opera. Jake Wood, however, encourage you to visit the concession stand and tip well. Thank you. Holly Hyena, Anthony A. Abigail, maybe. Erg, Infinitum, and Sloth King, 777. Giant Eagles who have decided to make Kevin's point over and over and over again by carrying Kevin everywhere they go from now on. Take that, Kevin's DM.

Kaka! Cal can't commit. Commodore Galaxy. Edison in, Russell H. A monk named Dilco, and Nios, the novice monster hunter. Venture Capitalists listening to Jake's half-hearted pitch for Bird Opera. They can tell his art isn't in it, but it's the aloofness that drives them to invest and ultimately seals Jake's fate as the CEO of this doomed business idea. You got this, Jake.

Lorelei and Kyra Frost. Morgan M. Sticker. Zachary A. Stephen E. And Mr. Adams. Birds who paid the big sea glass for their own seat at Bird Opera and are not visiting the concession stands and that is not okay. The business falls apart if you

don't go to the concession stand. Come on, we got three types of seeds, please! Megan F. James F. Jimmy A. Penguin Crusader. Cody McCay. And Richard C. Theodore Reviewers, who went to the opening night of Bird Opera, only to be confronted with the fact that this is actually Bird Lesk. Needless to say, they loved it. Cap and Capy, Imforell, Rig V I'm, the Dragon Ambassador, Wayfarer, Andru B, and Dalton B. Spandex makers at Victoria's Secret who are confused about a giant influx of custom tiny spandex with Asimplants. Something that a pigeon could pull off was in the order notes. Weird, but money is money and money squawks.

And with that, all of our shout outs are finished. Thank you all so so much for listening. If you would like your name shout it out, you can join the Council of Elders by going to patreon.com slash nad pod. We hope you enjoyed the show and we will see you soon. Bye bye!