Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Gramma is a PROBLEM PLAYER

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner, Axford and the Downright Durstly Bailiff Hurwitz as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!Subscribe to our Patreon! - Patreon.com/NaddpodCREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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time? Has it been no time at all? Now, well, sometimes we bulk our court and sometimes we just do it right before it comes out. And this is one of those times where we do it right before it comes out. My dude is then winkling all the damn time. I'll hold up a freaking newspaper. You guys can see what day it is on audio. I'm just Supreme Crit Justice Murphy joined by Tanner and Axford. And then of course the lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly,, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly,rete is now in session. The honorable Supreme Crete Justices, Axford Murphy and Tanner are presiding. Hi.

Hello. Our first case comes from Peace K, Peace K rights, illustrious judges, and I think it was Jason. Oh, it's fun. Jake Ders. It's Fred Ders. Yes, it's Fred. Whoa.

It's Fred's brother Jake. Can you imagine? He wears a blue hat. He wears a blue hat. Yeah, I didn't tell anybody, but I am Fred Durs' little brother. Wow. I bring the case of the unsatisfying Deus Ex Machina. I played a full campaign with my family during lockdown, and it was our final battle with

the BBEG. Whoa. It was my first time DMing and their first time playing. Needless to say, I want my whole family and accidentally killed every day. Okay. So little fun, that's a memory. I tried to narrate a scene where the Paladin could attempt something akin to a cleric's divine intervention,

but after so many fails, I was at a loss at what to do. Everyone was very tired and starting to get uninterested in the battle, and I got the sense they were upset they all died. I eventually fumbled and narrated a sloppy Deus Ex Machina where the dead cleric saved their lives from the lands beyond, but I never forgave myself for the terribly executed ending. I come to you now with my query. Should I have just let the TPK stand and added a couple more sessions to loop it around

to a more satisfying conclusion? Or should I have found a better way to deal with it? I humbly fling myself at the mercy of the court. Okay, I gotta start off immediately and say you do need to forgive yourself. Yeah, this is just a little confessional. For kind of dice-crime confessional adjacent for sure. You deserve forgiveness.

Yeah, you deserve to be able to live your life. Not necessarily from your family, but from yourself for sure. Yeah, yeah. TTRPG's tour family is a part during the pandemic. We've been getting a lot of these, just like I was running a game for my mom. She freaked out. If I get you planning anything for your parents, it's very impressive. I feel like my family's been trying to plan a family trip

for like going on 10 years now. And it's not coming together. And you guys haven't seen each other since. Yeah, exactly. My mom is so happy when I call her on the phone. We'll talk for five minutes and as we're getting off, she'll be like, thanks for calling.

Really, thank you for calling. Yeah. So the idea that like you could run, I don't know if your mom is necessarily in this, but like running something for your family is so much So much harder than just calling. Yeah, you're very good relative. I can't picture a world where your mom texts you afterwards to say I was really disappointed in how the narrative turned out That being said does sound like a bullshit DSX mockinac. Can we all be honest? Yeah

Mom texted you being like da Deus Ex Machina earned question mark. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She posted the Kermit Sipping Team. What? What's going on? Yeah, it's going off. I think I get the sense from,

I mean, I think you could have just gone with the TPK and then had them, I don't know, you almost do like a Dragon Ball Z, you have like an adventure in the afterlife and you have to come back, you do that, and then you have them fight the BBEG again. Because there are people that are like very rules purist and they're just like, just go for the TPK

and let them all be dead and stuff. It's just like you're playing with your grandma and you're playing with your family. It's fine, you're figuring it out. I definitely would recommend in the future just kind of going with the story thing. I was like, okay, accidentally womped them too hard. Now the adventure becomes, that was my plan all along.

Now they're on some other plane. And then you need to get back. Yeah, would you say like give yourself a session, you know, like don't try to write it as it's all happening, because then it can look a little sloppy. Yeah. Just call a timeout.

The next session can pick up. Yeah. Call the timeout. Here's my question though. Were there cues before you found yourself at the TPK that you could have maybe paid attention to it a little earlier? I've had it happen before though,

when you're starting DMing and you realize that you fucked up when you're like Okay, and the monster hits you forget this 40 damage and they're like that's all of my HP Plus 20 and I'm dead you're like oh no, I was just trying to scare you I was just trying to scare you because you want like the tension to build a little bit like you We want to want her to people to go down. But when that tied shift, sometimes everything is already in place and it's hard to shift gears. I'm going to say for the first time for my family, I don't want no one to go down. I want that first section to be them winning, experiencing, winning, experiencing.

Well, it sounds like it's played a while. Because there was a BBEG. You don't have a BBEG and a one-shot. I got this just one session. I don't think so, right? It sounds like there played a while. It's embarrassing. Because there was a BBEG. You don't have a BBEG in like a one session. I don't think so, right? It sounds like they were running stuff to the pandemic. Oh, yeah, they say I played a full camp. Yeah. I take it back.

So they were playing a while. I thought this was a one shot. You know what? Let this be a lesson to us all. You can't kill your family doing a one shot. Yeah. You can kill them at the end of a campaign. Here's what I'll say.

Let this be a lesson to us all. Never decide what the actual final session is. You know kill them at the end of a campaign. Here's what I'll say. Let this be a lesson to us all. Never decide what the actual final session is. You know what I mean? Because then you put too much pressure on yourself. Always leave it open that it's like, you're gonna wind down and maybe it'll take two sessions. Maybe it'll take three and that allows you, that you don't feel this pressure

where you're sitting there being like, oh, the cleric saves you, brings you all back to life. You wouldn't have had that pressure. You would have just been like, cool. I'll plan something for next session. I think relish it a little more. Be like, yeah, and that's 40 hit points. And if I'm not mistaken, Ellen, you're fucking dead.

Okay, grandma, you're a wizard. So I know you don't have a lot of HP, and I know you forgot to cast Me, Jarmer. We're not gonna that you did it before battle. You got to use an action to do that. So your AC's what 10 huh? Yeah, now that this isn't one session one shot Which is what I originally thought it was. I'm like yeah Go ahead. You can kill your grandma's girl. Yeah, I'd be like I did want to play hockey as a kid mom and you wouldn't let me Maybe if you chilled out for the past in this case, it still be standing.

Yeah. Okay, so I think we're all, I mean, even though the DM wrote in and was essentially confessing to a crowd. I like this style of court case though, where the person is like, I'm guilty, but like, is it okay if I did it? Yeah. Okay, what if, okay, so what if this person didn't want to reveal that they needed a time out, right? Okay. Who do they have in that moment?

They're looking, they're thinking, fuck, I'm going to need to do a Deus Ex Machina. Could you just really confidently to the family with like an absolute shit eating grin on your face? Be like like you know what everyone grab a little something to eat because some shit's gonna go down yeah well they grab food you panic and come up with how you're gonna be yeah basically lie to your family so then if you just like make it seem like it was planned then you buy yourself time that you don't do

a panic Deus Ex Machina, right? Because that is of course, in the moment, if you don't give yourself like a minute to take a deep breath, you will do precisely what you did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we do unfortunately have to punish you

because we do agree with you that you were wrong. Yeah. It feels hard to punish someone who came to us asking for a pardon. Well, I think you text your family and it's super D&D speak that your family's not gonna understand and you really over the top apologize for the D&S X mock it up.

So it'll look like I'm really sorry for that absolute terrible narrative bailout. That was a cop out. It's okay, but you should feel bad, honey. It was metagaming at its finest. Okay, so, uh, so ordered, your sentence to send a giant block of text to your parents and your grandma. Yeah, just gorgeous.

Yeah, kind of a send a giant block of banana bread to their way too. Kind of a dramatic one. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think just like for fun, just like a dramatic banana bread. No, I meant dramatic text, but we could say dramatic banana bread to their way too. Kind of a dramatic one. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think just like for fun, just like a dramatic banana bread. No, I meant dramatic text, but we could say dramatic banana bread, yeah.

Okay, yeah, I'm actually gonna fully. How do you make a banana bread dramatic? That's it, what do you think? Maybe with like coconut milk instead of regular milk. Wow. Wow. Okay. That sounds great.

Oh, you know, you do. It sounds like assertive. You send a note with it? Great. That says, I tried my best, but I know that wasn't good enough, dot,, you do. It sounds like assertive. You send a note with it that says, I tried my best, but I know that wasn't good enough, dot, dot, dot. Oh, you could be like, whoa. I've been a blockhead, so here's a banana block.

I've been an absolute low lately. I tried my best, but I know it wasn't good enough. Like, it sounds like it could be about the banana bread. Yeah. That's great. That's great. So they might not even know it,'t good enough, like it sounds like it could be about the banana bread. More of that. Just add the dot dot dot. So they might not even know what you're apologizing. Yeah. You unfortunately have to start a family feud is the thing.

So just really dramatic. I'm sick of clothing around. It's time to admit I've been bananas. That's great. Cryptic, dramatic banana bread. You don't know your apologies. A pun about how you've been off a little bit with your DMing. That has to do with bananas, something about rafing.

Okay, so a cryptic, a cryptic banana bread themed apology. Slash pun. Banana bread pun. A punnigy. A punnigy with a... A pun in a pan. Home made dramatic banana bread pun. A punnigy. Yeah, a punnigy with a ony. A punnig in a pan. Oh, made dramatic banana.

Yeah, and the bread, it's dramatic because you can also make it dramatic. Yeah. Is a little chocolate drizzle. Oh my God. Oh, dramatic. Oh, that's a purging. I'm not sad.

It's sexy though. I'm not saying. Dramatic can be sexy. Mm-hmm. That's true purging. It's sexy though. It's a thing. Dramatic can be sexy. That's true. Tension. Half drizzled. The other half undrizzled. Why did he stop?

Okay, so the DM's got to send banana bread to the family. To the family. Yeah. A pun laid in a polygy. We figured it out. And I think we've got our theme for the episode. I'm really into this because I do love banana bread, especially the episode. I'm really into this, because I do love banana bread, especially with chocolate.

The only problem with banana bread is you can't croissant someone with banana bread, because it's too heavy. I love some banana bread from, you know what? Actually, it's been kind of ruined by the calorie counter thing, because then you look at the banana bread, and it's like 500 calories, you're like a little slice, and you're like, you know, as much as I enjoy banana bread, I think I'd rather have four donuts.

That makes sense. That makes sense. It's very dense. Where are you getting donuts that are 125? I was exaggerating for comedic effects. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand. No, but they are also, they're like, I don't know, like a regular donut's

probably like 250 calories or something. I think Starbucks donuts are less calories than like the banana bread. Sure. But like the thing with banana bread is you can like sneak a bunch of stuff in there and it still tastes pretty good. Like you can put a little zucchini in your bread.

Yeah, a little zucchini. Yeah, I do like a zucchini bread. Why bother? That's another thing. That's like throwing vegetables on your pizza. It's like you're already eating a bad thing. It doesn't help. The thing is though, like what if you buy too many bananas

and your bananas are going bad and then you just bake those into banana bread, you feel like you are some sort of ecological hero. Right. I have wasted nothing. Everything has come in. And you are. Everything has gone.

You are a hero. Especially if you are chocolate to it, but not too keen. I got nothing against, I got nothing against banana bread. I think it's awesome. If you see someone, if someone bakes you a loaf of banana bread,

you know, you know they had bad bananas and they fell out of you. That's a really good card. I had bad bananas and I thought of you. And I made me think of you. I had some shit bananas on my counter and I thought, I know who wants these, but it's slightly better for them. I'm gonna go on the record and say, I don't eat bananas.

Okay, next question. You can't. You're not elaborate. Don, right? Keep moving. That's awesome. Can we end every single case with like a really weird Emily fact that we can't express the Emily take that we just say power through? I have 12 follow-ups. What's can you do? Just being like I don't like water or something I would just have to keep going. No follow-ups. Doesn't like question. It's just one comes from Jeremy U. Jeremy writes. Actually, I had a really bad experience

with water recently. I don't want to do this. No more questions. I'm the intern apart. What is a bad experience with water? Did you almost drown? She doesn't need to answer that. We need to keep the show.

Yeah, we need to keep going. Objection, dating. But you're distracting with an objection bad team. Not even bad, weird. Yeah, weird take. Save for the end. Okay, Jeremy U writes, to the most honorable justices

and the host exalted bail if I should say. Whoa, okay. That's a pan of a pun. That's a banana bread pun pan right there. Well, we are a host and we could exalt Jake at any point. Yeah. Chowie? You guys could actually reinstate me and Boston.

Oh, I'm a little late for it. Just because I live so close. For 10 minutes, you're reinstateing Boston to be there. I think the fact that you live so close is what makes it do, like, do we trust you? Yeah, you're gonna go out and pass a bunch of weird D&D laws. You can't hop on an Amtrak. The city of Boston is gonna be practicing a D&D

unrecognizable to anyone else. J-E, Jake Edition. There's a loophole right now. I'm texting my barrister in Boston to push a lot of things through. Okay, I present the case of the accidentally bloodthirsty DM. Currently, I am running a campaign with some friends from work. Before the first session, I made sure my players knew that while I wouldn't actively try to kill their characters,

their characters could die. They told me they understood. In the first session, one of the rogues failed their death saves after some really unfortunate rolls. A fail and a crit fail. He was a new player, so I feel bad he died in the first fight, but he said he understood the rules and was cool about it. The next session comes around and another player gets separated from the party and counters some muggers. I tried to keep him an out saying they just wanted his money, but he chose to fight. He rolled poorly on his initiative. Then he goes down after the first two guys missed him. I tried to be merciful and said they just knocked

him out, but he insisted he do death saves. He succeeded on the first two, then got a fail. His final role was a critical fail. He died right there. Now my players think I'm out to get them. Should I be more insistent with the non-lethal damage or was I right to kill my players? I wait your sound rulings and whatever punishment you feel like you're here. I have a thought. I have a thought, which is that you have players

who wanna separate from the group. I think that you need to brainstorm consequences that aren't death. Yeah. It sounds like they already did it. I think you could have, I think this DM knows, they've said as much they've been like, should I have been more insisted on the non-lethal damage. I think so. Like if, you know, a lot of bandits are just probably going to murder people, but there probably are other ones that you could just be like, no, these

guys specifically don't want to kill you. They don't want to get in that much trouble if they thought they don't want huge bounties on their head. They're just going to knock you out and take your money. This person, yeah, this person wanted on their head. They're just gonna knock you out and take your money. This person wanted to roll those deaths thing. Yeah. So I think you did the right thing. Yeah, they wanted their character to maybe die and then their character died.

You did the standard DM, are you sure? And you just like paused and stared directly in the eye. Anytime you do the verbal wink, the are you sure? Yeah, you should know by that. Murph, if I begged to roll death saves like out of combat. Uh-huh. Would you like? I would say please, please, for the sake of the show. What if Saul said a joke that was so funny that I was like,

I was like, it's a helicopter. We would die. We would die. Yeah, we would die. And I rolled death saves because I might surely. Kelly died, but on my last stop. You're pissing your pants so much the traffic I'm getting hydrated Murphy I need a roll death say no, I would say no, I'm sorry for loathing around. I was being bananas Fuck I need to roll a disadvantage now. That was good Kelly is dead

It also sounds like they might just be brazen. Yeah, you what I mean? Like just kind of like, oh, you're the hard-ass DM. Yeah. And I think the fact that there is after one character died, the other character went off was attacked by bandits and they're like, just give me your money and they're just like, I try to kill them. They have a wish. Yeah.

Maybe they thought it was kind of exciting having a character die and they're chasing that. Maybe they're not very precious about the characters and they're more interested in cycling through characters that die. Do you think, are they a flat liner? They're just like chasing that rush. Like hitting that net failure.

I think you got a bunch of fucking flat liners at your party and I'm gonna sentence you guys to watch flat liners together. Is that a movie? Is that a movie? I don't know what that is I think it's a movie don't quote me on this because I haven't seen it I've just seen the box art but I think it's a movie where people like purposefully put themselves on the edge of death And then they like see a ghost or like start to be able to see ghost or something because they like flatline so many times

Sounds sick. Yeah, yeah, can they still enjoy banana bread? I think it turns to ash in their mouth actually. Okay, well, you know, some of us don't like bananas for our reason. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved.

They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved.

They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They've been saved. They of them had a critical death safe fail. So you didn't actually kill them. This is a lesson all DMs myself included. I've done this before in home games and DMs always think it's logical of like having bad guys that are just be like, just give me your stuff and you can go. Yeah.

No one ever says yes. It can literally be like, there are four terasks. Yeah. They'd somehow know the common tongue. They're speaking to you. They say hello to, little level one. Please give me your rusty, stupid sword that sucks. And the level one will fight the four terasks.

That is totally true because in real life, a lot of times, most times, you would just be like, okay, dig me a stuff, I'm sorry. Right, but this fantasy, for you. But this is fantasy, you get to stand up for yourself in a way that you would never would on the streets. Yeah, so I would say you did a picture in the terrass growing a little mask over its face. Yeah, it's you. You'd be right phone. The eye phones, terrass, the eye phones. You do our

stay everywhere I go destroy buildings. I'm doing some home rentals. I need to call people. I break so many phones. I break shit when I try to visit. We just try to knock on my friends' doors. Every time I answer my phone, I break it. I stand on my freaking Android. Yeah.

So yeah, so I would say you didn't do anything wrong there, but I would just say for any DMs at home, no one ever stops. Yeah, that is true, but also if anyone tries some mug people with drasks, please let us know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. Let's test this theory out. Yeah, no one has ever, no one has ever backed down from bandits before, but maybe they'll back down from a terrace.

With a terrace. The terrace doesn't need to have a tiny dagger taped to its foot Just like phone bullying I'm not for you give me your give me your four-star gold No, no quick moves. Staff are. I was in session two, so what did this character have on them? That was that great. Well, they did.

Just go kill a single dude and you'll get the staff back or whatever you had. Yeah, maybe they had a commemorative cop from the tavern they started in. Yeah, you get that like cast. Yeah, but think about how sentimental you feel about the stuff that you acquire early in the campaign. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, but they might have gotten something in session one that they

once tried about. Well, what happens in session one, you just build your inventory. You like just went through all of the stuff you just picked out. Yeah, oh, it's my first time. That's when you know the most about what's on you. Like if somebody tried to take Beverly's Signet Ring that he had from his noble family. And it was so fucking quick, essential for the campaign. I mean, I feel like I'm always like, hey, Zia, can I take a vial of mud? And they're always like, sure, I guess, Emily.

And then next time I sit down and I see vial of mud on my thing. And I'm like, this is awesome. This is new to me. This is new to me. Everything to me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No! No! I look grappling hook. I have bugbear hair in the chest set! I have a big idea that I can use it as a spell component someday! Yeah, I haven't figured out T&D yet.

I think everything's a spell component. I'm gonna use this toilet paper I stole from the tavern to tee pee someone later. You guys are getting away with our rope! You have 8 HP, the bandits roll, one crits and you're dead. You're just dead. Can we punish this person to just commit to the bit and try and kill this player another time? I think that, I think the DM is doing good. I think we're on the DM side.

I don't even know who to punish in this situation. Cause it's like the players are doing what they're excited about. The DM is is or do we punish the DM because they weren't confident enough in their non-loss damage thing right they didn't razz back I think that's the big. They're good razz then they have to razz back. Oh that's true. Yeah be means your friends. We got we get them a loaf of raspberry banana bread. Oh okay. There's a flat liner's DVD baked in the middle. Oh, that's perfect.

Yeah, you just do, okay, regular banana bread. See, currently there's so many where I have this pretty inside. Okay, you show up to your friends house and you're like, guys, we're not playing D&D tonight. Ah, instead we're doing this. You put a loaf of banana bread on the table. Yeah.

They're disappointed until they cut in, starting at the center, because that's how you cut it. That's how you cut it. You got the banana bread, of course. Yeah, you have they cut in starting at the center because that's how you cut it out. You have to cut it like a duck a card. Right, yeah. And right before you shuffled a bread. I wish I was a bread. Crack it open. Crack open the bread. Reveal the flat liners. Reveal the brad. What? Wait, I thought we were with the raspberry. They're both in there. The DVD, how to do with this. The Rasmurys are a smoke screen. Hey, okay.

It's a part of what they're doing for the night. What is it? Okay, right, because they're flat-line. Okay, yeah. Okay. You can do it with bad bananas and you can do it with bad movies. It's the same concept.

And so there's Rasmurys and you say, hey gang, you've been rassing me, I just wanted to ask you back, you flat-liners. You've already cut through the tip of the knife. We're setting them up for something entirely new to be razzed about. And you should be sure to have like a big seed in your teeth as you're delivering it to the statement. It's probably your high effort bit that destroyed a DVD.

A really high effort bit that is clearly scripted, like stumble through the line as it rehearses. Yeah. Oh, we just, we just like it's exactly what we just said there. Yeah. I think that raspberry zucchini bread would be good, personally. Okay.

Hmm. Yeah. So ordered and move on. No follow-up questions. Yeah, Let's move on. Yeah. I Don't even know who said we were fully on there. I think it's okay. I think the players were wrong to ask to Roll a debt saves, but you are correct. They're having fun. Yeah, you are correct in That you could have got them out. Yeah, you could have had a heavier hands if you wanted to, but I think that's no harm.

No foul. I've been on the front. We're on your side and ultimately, we're ruling against the players because they're the ones on the end of this hilarious practical joke featuring a DVD and a Raspberry Soss, Raspberry Jam inside of Banana Bread. Yeah.

Ooh, swirling around the DVD. Yeah. It's so much fun. It's so hard to do. It's so hard to do. Showing this raspberry soaked DVD into your PS4. Yeah. I'm just bakesering someone out of baking show cutting your bread.

Just starting to DVD. We're feeling it perfectly suspended DVD. Just no fielding with him so far. Do that. Yes. I don't even know how to make a joke about it. There's a shards of DVD as I cut through it. Do not eat that.

Do not eat that. Oh, I'm like, what? Choking. He ate a DVD. Paul! Paul knows it, Jake! He's bleeding! No!

It's the proof. Okay, so I think this was all really clear. You got to tie, Eric tight. It's so ordered. Yeah, it's all above board. It's all above board. It's all above board for sure. Just a reminder for everyone,

we are going to ask Emily about the banana thing, but not till the short rest. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm also going to go there. I'm also going to not answer. She's not going to answer. Yeah.

We're going to ask though. Tune into the short rest for an Emily interview where she is allowed to plead the fist on every show. She's going to show all us. I will be nothing but fast. Nothing but fast, baby. The next case comes from Maria N. Maria writes, to the venerated justices

and also Baylif Jake, that cuts me a little bit. Because we're not even an adjective. It's just like, I'm fighting into a DVD. Yeah, that hurts all the way down and coming out. My first game with this group at level 14, I introduced my circle of stars Druid and hit a clump of baddies with reverse gravity. When I dropped the spell, I expected the floating dudes to plummet and take falling damage as the spell explicitly states. The DM ruled that they just safely fell to the ground over a couple

of rounds. Not because of featherfall or anything like that, but because that's legit how they thought the spell worked. I tried to argue how the spell actually works, and we go back and forth a couple of times, but I ended up conceding because he's the DM at the end of the day. I ended up just not using that spell after that, but this isn't even what I'm actually salty about. Fast forward like two years. We are all clumped up like Goofs, and one of our enemies uses reverse gravity. I'm thinking the DM is going to rule it the same way, but

low and behold, he uses the spell as written. That part was in all caps. In the moment, I did ask him about it in a very what the fuck way, but dropped it once he answered that that's how the spell works. Love to know, I could actually use this dope-ass spell when he made up his mind about ruling it as written, and I'm still salty that I only found out when it was used on my character. Highest court in the land, am I justified in letting this salt linger? I don't bring it up, and it doesn't really impact anything, but sometimes it just comes to mind, and I sit there at a big old tub of salt. No, you know what that's all. I'm reading a book about salt and salt is the

shit, you know. I'm salty all the time. I just sit there and get mad about. You can drizzle salt on banana bread and that's it. It's all on there. Some almond flakes. Yeah. Okay. That's what yeah's all on there. Some Alden Flakes, yeah. Oh, that's what, yeah. I think we're already against this DM. And just fill a freaking DVD case with salt. Say, I got you. I got you flatliners, and then they open in there's no DVD inside. It's just, oh, that's awesome.

And then you'll ruin their DVD player because they'll try to put it in. They'll sold it in. I just thought it in. I just thought it in. Oh yeah sold it in. Yeah, I guess they'll try to put it in. Okay, you like freeze the cells. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Right, you heard me know what I mean. What do we do? We like glue the cells together. Yeah, in the form of a DVD. Well, you could. You're gonna want to use some kind of adhesive. Yeah, so you can put water in the cell.

Oh, wait, no, you can't. Okay, you take, okay, we find like an absolutely slam and DVD. Super glue. We get a fight club DVD. We say, hey, I know you haven't seen fight club. Don't leave in like 25 years or whatever. It's pretty good though.

You coat, you do like, you're making a margarita, like the edge of a margarita. Yeah, you dip the DVD in salt. In super glue, super glue and then salt. salt and then salt so you do have to wait Yeah, we're gonna rim the DVD. Yeah, you know rim the DVD like it's a margarita I'm having a DVD salted DVD goes into the DVD player and most people's DVD player is an Xbox or a PlayStation Right, yeah, you're gonna be ruining something about yeah, yeah, and I know what you're thinking should they be using the DVD salt starring Angelina Jolie No, they shouldn't it's way funnier if it's flat

It's pretty good if it's salt oh if you just keep saying you might you put salt in your DVD player What did you expect and you just don't laugh you just keep looking at them. And just like everyone's so else kind of nod your head. Yeah, and you could just be like, oh, that's crazy, because it would ruin my DVD. But what you've taught me is that rules work different for different people. Yeah.

Oh. And you normally repeat this every two years. Right. That's how long it lasted. Say, yeah, I wouldn't normally put salt in my DVD player, but I know that you do things differently. So maybe you do. I thought that was fine.

Yeah. So I think the rules are different in your house. We're saying that like, yeah, you got salted. And it's like, it's okay. And so they can stay salty. Yeah. They can watch you be salty by watching salt on their DVD player, but not actually being able

to watch the movie salt because the movie salt is covered in salt and has room with the DVD player. There you go. Perfect. Yeah, I think going back to like a non-crazy answer, but that sucks. There are always misreads in the moment and stuff,

but then you have to play it both ways. Like that, you absolutely have to throw that spell out. They have to, once they, if you fuck up that way, the DM needs to be willing to be like, okay, I was wrong, I'd let the player keep using it, and definitely not use it themselves if they're gonna have a more generous read on their own. Just seemed like there was no remorse

on the DM's part. It's also weird because by the time you can use reverse gravity, falling damage isn't that big of a deal. Like falling damage is like, Em, do you know how far up reverse gravity can send you? No, I don't remember. I didn't really use it that much. But either way, it's just a D6 per 10 feet.

So if you're in a room and let's say like the, you know, ceilings are like a 20 or 30 feet high or something like that, like that's 3D6 of damage when you're casting reverse gravity, which is a higher level spell. It's 100 foot high cylinder. Okay, I can do 10 to 6. That ain't nothing.

That's not nothing, but that's not much more than like a fireball or something. No, it's also a really high level spell. Is it eighth level? Yeah, it's a seventh level spell. Seven level spell, yeah. Yeah, and he's six with a seventh level spell. Seven level spell, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven. Come on. Seven levels, come on. Seven levels, come on. Yeah.

Soldiers justified. Yeah, salt and fruit. This person's freaking DVD player. Yeah, we're on your side. We are making you commit like light damaging somebody else's body. So, right. Can I have one salt fact, please, Emily?

When people started domesticating animals, that's when salt, like the need for salt became more extreme because animals need salt in their diet. If you're just like farming and you don't need to give obviously salt to vegetables but once you're taking care of cattle they need salt in their diet so suddenly you need salt for your livestock. Yeah you need a salt lick. Yeah I'm only I've only read like the first like 20 pages. That's a pretty good gym. That's our 20.

That's a lot to read about salt. Yeah. All right. So, so ordered. Yeah, so ordered I think. Yeah. So salt is going to ruin a DVD play. Yeah.

And they deserve it. Okay. Cool. The next episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts. So no matter where you fall and the age old battle Cool, uh, the next- This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants AND shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's

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Go team pants and enjoy the show. Case comes from Finn H. Who does not introduce themselves. They write intro free 2023. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Finn. Which is something we say on the short rest. But wow. Yeah. You say that and we say why Emily hates bananas.

No, we ask her about it and she pleads the fifth. Little place called bongers. That's a reference to the short rest. One time I really brought up a restaurant and then it was just local to her area and didn't explain what it was or anything about it. I think you're only allowed to plead to fit if you eat five bananas afterwards. No. Or you hold up five bananas and then throw it in the garbage.

You suck it to tell us. Yeah. Fair enough. She doesn't, she says she doesn't eat bananas but didn't say she doesn't like bananas. Just said I don't And we just have a look at that looking into actually loves them She'd stop eating them because she loves them too much Want to give other fruit? I watched a movie that really humanized bananas to me minions Okay, this is another familial issue actually Minions? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. weather. Letter. Who had a prophecy destiny, etc. etc. I warned her that a level one character couldn't live up to this backstory, but she insisted. During the first session, I tried to ground the character in line with the rest to avoid a main character vibe around grandma by making the sword non-magical, giving it a goofy voice, and having NPCs act confused when she brought up the prophecy.

Whenever I did this, grandma acted as if she couldn't hear me and continued the conversation as if I hadn't said anything. That is a person who is done fucking pretending. Yeah. This gets so weird. Was I wrong to cancel the campaign after two sessions? And then a secret revival with only four of the six original players and not grandma?

You secretly kicked out your grandmother? You. Boo. Yes, she also said, my giant toads, quote, weren't possible as I describe them as hopping along the beach, which only frogs do apparently. OK, that's a little bit much drama. Okay, yeah, I'm a little bit dancing on drama.

Yeah, yeah. What was the prophecy again? Just walk me, what was the... I don't think, just had a prophecy in her backseat. And had a prophecy. Had a prophecy. Assorting a prophecy, some kind of destiny that they didn't go into.

It is true, like, you know what? But grandma apparently did. I might rule against this grandma. We're usually pretty pro grandma on the pod. Uh huh. But I do think that like, maybe there are some like details we're missing out on here. Maybe the grandma was like really like leaning into

the main character thing and it was kind of wrecking the session. I don't really know the main character thing. I think that that's like, that's not really something I would be concerned about. Uh huh. But like, it does sound like, doesn't matter. The grandma problem player. Doesn't know.

Yeah, I gotta say this grandma, hearing that she was like, these giant toads aren't possible. I think that that's really disruptive. So I actually think you were. That wasn't a poor PS. That was a good PS to include actually. Dropping animal facts to undo your monster manual stats

is an annoying thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we've rolled against those people before. Yeah, and I gotta say, usually I roll with grandma's, but I think this grandma was a problem player. And if four of the name of this episode grandma is a problem. I'm a problem. I'm a problem. If four of your players are like really having a good time, then yeah, I'm not worried about main character stuff, but I am worried about like kind of like disruptive to the suspension of disbelief

that is playing a fantasy game. Here's what I will say. I'm gonna defend grandma here for a sec. Whoa, risky. Once you're playing in a game with your grandma, assume egg based on this, it doesn't sound like she has a ton of TTR, PG, experience, or whatever.

Yeah, sounds like she's ready to novel. Or she has too much. If she has too much, edit all the sec, don't listen to what we're not. She knew about the office season paladins. So like she must know something. I think she just knows about being like a special person in a story.

I don't know that. She's like a seasoned gamer. But I would say when you're playing with your grandma, maybe you play a little different, and maybe you specifically go into it with a game that you're not crazy attached to, and you kind of accept the grandma shenanigans. You kind of have to take grandma with the good and the bad.

I gotta say, I actually didn't like, I didn't like the move of she can control the weather. It was interesting. I didn't like that. I don't know about that grandma. Grandma's rubbing you the wrong way. This grandma isn't working for me. But that's what they say in the text thread.

I think we're comparing grandma to other problem players who would other problem players do this, but when you look at this from a grandmother at least stand. Yeah, with the grandmother lens. And you know what it also might be, I'm a little bit older, so I'm thinking about like if I had played with my grandma, it would just been like, grandma, you do whatever you want. He's true. I would just been like, Grandma, you do whatever the hell you want. I'm sure in your grandma pouring a stiff belly isn't tucking in for six hours of Dean's room. Yeah, Grandma, you think you're not zoomed? I want to control the weather, it's just sure.

Yeah, we can make that work. I think you were wrong. You were not wrong to start another campaign without grandma, but you were wrong to cancel the existing one with grandma. Yeah, you should not. I think this campaign needs to just be grandma's campaign and it has to be ongoing. Yeah, just grandma, it's just grandma time.

Grandma and friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's grandma and friends campaign. I'll talk to you said six players, which is like a lot to juggle as well. So like I understand like going to like cut some players

from that so you can focus on everyone else having a good time. I think you did nothing wrong. I think. Yeah, it's also, it's tough to, because you need to know about the relationships, right? If this is like prime grandma time, if you're like, you don't see your grandma very often, but you're playing D&D with her and that's how you spend grandma time. And then you're just like, she's being a little too much and then cut it off.

Would you say about my toes grandma? Yeah. If it's a situation where like Grandma lives on your street and you guys have dinner together like a couple times a week and stuff and then it's just like yeah you don't have to play D&D with grandma that's fine. It is true that it's 2023 now and like younger people have grandmothers and those grandmothers might know about games. 2023 grandma is gonna be gamers. That's your right. Coltles right 2023 grandma's can definitely be gamers. And they can min-max their paladins

and really fucking wreck your world. You gotta watch out. They will try to do that. Grandma's are min-maxing out there. That's true. Your Mima's min-max is here. Yeah. This grandma's a problem player.

We're just acting on that happy player. 2023 grandma's can be problem player. Grandma's can be gamers. Yeah. Yeah. You know what else is a problem player? Her DVD player. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you know what else is a problem player? Her DVD player. Oh, wow.

Oh yeah, because she's going to want to throw on some blue bloods. Yeah. Some of her favorite DVDs. Yeah. And they're just going to be salted all the hell with him like salted. We're going to salt the rim of grandma's DVD player.

We want to go on the record doing this. I don't know. I'm afraid. Yeah. I think you just, I'm afraid. Yeah. I think you just make banana bread for grandma. You make banana bread for grandma? Yeah, maybe like... But you put zucchini in there.

Oh. That's how you, that, this grandma's getting punished, but you are dullin' out the punishment, and you're gonna make her a bad loaf of banana. I just make your grandma some bad banana bread. Hmm. Do you still think you got it? If I took a bite of zucchini banana bread,

I would just be like, what did I do to you? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, there's gonna be, there's gonna be zucchini in the banana bread defenders. I like zucchini bread. I like zucchini and bread. Because it makes it an everyday loaf.

It's like a nice, I think it adds moisture, but I can't say that for sure. I'm not a big one. Oh, what do you mean by everyday loaf? Well, like if you make a loaf of banana bread and you got like zucchini and banana in there Like it's certainly not like it's not good for you. It's not good for you It's not good for you, but you can eat it and you can feel a little better. No, yeah No, it's zucchini and just taste you can actually feel worse because it's bad for you and it tastes

Yeah, breakfast lunch and dinner slice it like Dr. O'Reilly on your pizza and shit is not fucking good for you I think that you gotta Not of a stuff. You gotta be like a shallow brain to me, dude. You gotta exist purely in a psychosomatic headspace where things work because you think they work. Ha ha ha. I think that that works for me.

Yeah. Just light your brain. I think I used to make it. I wanna say I used to make a zucchini bread that had tahini and chocolate in it. It's a tahini. I might just be, they bread that had tahini and chocolate in it. It's a zucchini. I might just be, they might rhyme, and so I'm making that up, but who knows?

And we will never know. There's another cryptic ending. Because we're moving on. We're just gonna keep going. No follow up questions. Just a statement of fact. The difference does have a question about that recipe. Can we maybe get it?

Jake? Jake? Moving on? Moving on. This is an outrage. We demand the recipe, your honor. So our next case comes from comb s, comb rights, to the honorable Supreme Crit and the bailiff

that's in the room. Thank you, I present to you the case of the helpful hippo and the elderly Elf. Okay, okay. Okay, I run a spell jammer campaign where one of my players is a gift, hippo person. For those who don't know. Okay. A gift gunslayer, where he and the party recently defeated an Elvish spy who had an Elven change shirt. The gift looted the shirt and between sessions decided to give it to an elderly alcoholic elf NPC who is a member of the crew. This NPC's role on the ship is to make alcohol and potions.

The problem is the NPC has commoner stats and is no use to the party once a fight breaks out. There are also multiple other members of the party without magical armor or any armor at all who often get knocked unconscious in combat because of it. This wouldn't be a problem except the gift doesn't really care about any of the players except for the elf NPC. My question is this, should I have the elf give the armor to another party member even though I know the gift would be mad that he was going unprotected or should I let the situation stay as it is even though the armor won't see any use.

So this is the DM asking. The DM wants to re-gift this one. Yeah, I think that's great. I think it's great. I don't think it's great. I don't even need to re-gift it, though. First off, good old-fashioned. You need a different friend.

Just the idea of them not caring about the other players is like, right the middle. I'll say I don't love that. I don't love that right off the bat. No matter what this this hip-hoes getting punished. I don't like this gift for sure. But the other thing I will say is that definitely don't rely on this player to determine like if your other players are having fun. Yeah, and don't like punish your other players for the fact because this one player is unreasonable. Right. The problem is not that this player gave armor to this one NPC. The problem is that they're not working with the rest of the party. So you need to A, I don't know, maybe it's not a big deal,

maybe they're just doing stuff as a joke and it's funny at the table, but other people do need armor. So maybe it's not that much of a red flag, maybe it's fine. But there's no reason why other bad guys can't drop armor that your players can like just- Yeah, you could just give them other armor. Yeah, just make it an option here. Yeah, your drunk elf can just wear a barrel armor. Yeah, just make an option here. Yeah, your drunk elf can just like wear a barrel and get plus one

a. But also the drunk they can just have the armor. It's fine. Just yeah. Yeah, I think I think Merf is right. Like it's I mean, the only thing I would say is in the future, don't avoid situations because you're worried about upsetting this player because it sounds like that's really unfair

to the players who are nicer. Yeah. But Murrb has like an easy avoid any sort of conflict solution which just give the other players a honor. So I'm gonna gift GIF in the mouth. Yeah, nice. I was waiting for someone to say it. Finally.

You know what, we took a big break. We all came up with our best GIF jokes and we won. Yeah. You know what I'm honored a big break. We all came up with our best gift jokes. And we won. Yeah. You know what I'm honored. We voted on it. We paid a Swedish think tank $60,000 to come up with a... ...could well won the lottery on who got to say it. Yeah. Thanks everyone. Yeah, like I was saying, it might not be something that you need to talk to them about if it's just like a couple little like joky things

or something like that, or if this is kind of like a, you know, a little flippant thing, but if they don't care about the party at all, definitely A, consider if you really wanna be playing with them and B, if you are gonna play with them, maybe have a chat with them and C, definitely don't rely on them as like a arbiter of who gets stuff. And D fuck up their DVD player. Yeah yeah I was gonna say like you you don't even have to if you want to keep them around they're not like just don't prioritize their feelings.

What do we think about switching it up this time and putting a little sugar on the DVD so that they get ants. Oh wow that. And it's the DVD ant. That is so mean to give someone ants. Yeah. Just give them an ant DVD. We're at ants DVD filled with sugar. They'll take it and be like, thanks man, scoff. Throw it in the corner, little do they.

It doesn't even need to go in the DVDs. Like anywhere's behind their home. Yeah, we're just getting ants in their home. You give them the DVD and you say, I gave you ants. And then like several weeks later, they'll be ants all around their ass. And every month, think back on that. And they'll call the exterminator and be like,

help my apartment is full of ants. And the exterminator will be like, do you mean ants? You mean ants? The DVD? Okay, the actual ants. And then you could also, you could just throw sugar everywhere all around their house.

That's true. You just have to make sure you gift the de-dust. All you need. You're not lying to them when you say you gave them ants. Also you could just put sugar in your pockets and put a little hole in your pockets and walk around their house. Sugar trail. Sugar trail around their house.

Make sure you don't wear these pants into your own home. Yes, right. Throw the pants out. Throw the pants away before you get home. Yeah, so you're- They're laundry. Yeah, that's good. Okay, that's how you do it.

That's how you do it. That's how you do it. You can't use your pants. Right, hey, bud. I've got to ask to do laundry, ask to borrow a pair of pants so you can wear their pants home. Yeah, this is airtight. This is airtight. This is great.

You show up, you show up, you say, hey, ready to play D&D, hand over the ants DVDs. Yeah. By the way, I gave you ants. There it is. Okay. Okay. Then you've got the sugar trail going, as you say,

hang on, I think I pissed myself off. I have to go to the bathroom and change my underwear and stuff. But before then, you're pacing a bunch, right? Like you're pacing a lot. Like you're pacing a lot. And your back is already over. Right. You were like, I was really nervous about giving you that aunt's DVD on the show.

If you had a DVD or a Blu-ray player, I know that you love physical media. You're chugging a two-liter bottle of gatorade. Yeah. Just to keep it airtight. Right. Oh yeah, and then when you have to piss, run around the house looking for the bathroom.

Yeah, I really have to piss. I got to keep it. I forgot where it is. I forgot where it is. I forgot where it is. Is it here? Is it here? Is it here? And open every sugar all over the place.

Then you take your sugar-covered pants, you bury it in their closet. Yes, so deep that maybe they won't find it until later, and they'll be like, did I wear sugar pants at the point? Yeah, anybody's will piss in them too, just to piss them out. Yeah. Because you're gonna have drink all that gated.

Yeah, and your piss is gonna be pretty sugary after that anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure, true, true. So this is good. Yeah. All right, so the gift is getting punished. So the gift is getting a gift.

The gift is getting a gift. Yeah. Yeah. On DVD, but also. Him-gipped ants. You got ants. The clumsiness of saying I gave you ants as you actively hands. I want something like that. Just tense. Like imagine being like I gave you banana bread as you're physically handing it.

Just like an absolute dead-eyed, star-spinal. Are you from the future? Just narrating your life a little bit. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer.

I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer.

I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an answer. I gave you an yeah. I'm feeling called. Okay, another rough one this week, sorry to say. Uh-oh. Riley C. Riley writes, dear judges, lords and lady, to the high-king bailiff or something.

Okay. I have a confession for dice, Christ. When it was COVID, I was in a campaign that lasted the whole time on Zoom. And I have to say that I fudged several Nat 20s. As penits, I have stopped playing D&D altogether to learn from my past crimes. Does the church feel I may be punished more?

Or is my time in solitude still ongoing? I leave my sinful soul in the Lord's hands. I think you stopped playing for selfish reasons, because you didn't want to face the guilt, right? So that wasn't in service of dice-crisse, that wasn't in penance, selfish reasons because you didn't want to face the guilt. Oh, yeah. Right? So that wasn't in service of dice-cris. That wasn't in penance. That was because you didn't want to face your shadow side. It's time to come back and play honestly. Yeah.

Dice-cris wants us all to play honestly. But Dice-cris does want us to play. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, when you don't play, dice-cris, she had salty, salty tears. Yeah. Playing is how we play. You mean dice salty salty tears. Yeah, playing is how you make dice Christ cry

Yeah, do you eat to play in the worst of ways is still joyful to dice Christ We would like to give you the gift of play and by that is there a Movie called play that you could buy yourself on DVD. Wait, no, there is click. By Adam Sandler. Okay. What does that mean? What?

You must play on the remote. That's a little convoluted. Okay, you know what, I'm going to follow it. I'm going to call it one size. You're on that. Yeah, I'm going to click. That's how sporty with kid in play. Yeah, that's what I could only think of.

There's a 2019 movie called Play. Oh, great. All right. So we get a synopsis. Yeah, let us know what's up. Max was 13 when he was offered his first camera. For 25 years, he never stopped filming friends, loves, successes and failures from the 90s to the 2000s.

This is the portrait of a whole generation that is emerging through its objective. Wow. It's like a documentary. So a link later, shit. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Yeah, so you're going to throw that on. This is fine. You need to watch play. You're going to watch play. And while you sit there and you're like, I don't know if this is a documentary. Yeah. I don't know if this is derivative. I don't know if this wishes to be Richard link later and isn't.

Maybe I'd be having more fun if I was playing D&D. I think what you gotta do is I'm gonna put a little twist on that. Okay. Is two DVDs will be presented. You're gonna be in like a penitence booth. There's going to be the click DVD and the play DVD. And like you're not allowed to watch click. Oh my god.

A fake worse than death. To not be allowed to watch clips. I for sure Anything about either of these movies. I don't even know anything about flatliners Name and movies. I've seen post-mortem. Yeah, you know what? Let's go back to the yeah Let's go back to the classics. Uh-huh We're gonna say you know you've been punishing yourself by not playing D&D But you need to go back to the classics. Uh-huh. We're gonna say, you know, you've been punishing yourself by not playing D&D, but you need to go back and play honestly. Yeah. Go back and play honestly, and maybe...

You need to be reading yourself. Maybe the true service you can do is DM one session. Oh, that's good. Oh. You can DM and then also make yourself some banana bread full of raspberries. Absolutely, yeah, raspberries. Yeah, yeah. And a little DVD.

And you can't tell you to put a DVD in your own brain. Put some zucchinis in there, but punch a hole in the middle face. It looks like DVDs. Just put an SD card in there. It was. Do not do that. But one thing to do is, literally, I am saying, don't do this. And this is not for saying. Don't do it I'm saying don't do this

Just put some food in there We're just going to be done Legal team I just want to say no one should put DVDs in bed of red No one should eat as D cards We're not indoors eating as D cards without a door C DVDs We do indoors putting salted DVDs and people's CV players. Yeah.

Right, that one we were serious about. That's a whole thing to eat for that one. That's a prank, there's a legal line. Yeah, it's true. As long as it's just a prank bro, it's fine. Okay. All right, all right. With that, I think we've solved it.

Yeah. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our patreon patreon.com slash napod. That's any DDPOD don't sing yet. Wee-ee! Wee-ee! We'll be over there. We'll be asking M about her banana stuff.

She's got my answer. So just so she knows, five just please the best. Five. Even a weird way to sing. I plead the five. Yeah, I plead the five. I need to hit you with the five. Yeah, in the meantime, does anyone have anything they'd like to plug?

Actually, I will kick it off. I know I don't, I'm not sure exactly when it's coming out, but Caldwell and I are gonna be able to have three black halflings very soon playing Paradox Perfect again. So, be on the lookout for that. It's such a fun game. Follow those guys. I'm sure it will be very, very funny.

We are recording it very soon. I would love to plug a book from Mary Costa, who did a live show poster for us. She has a book out now called Bell of the Ball. I'm going to read a little description for folks. A graphic novel about high school wall flower bell Hawkins, who ends up in a love triangle after tutoring the girlfriend offer crush, the art looks gorgeous gorgeous if you're looking for a new graphic novel or you've got you know like

kids in your life the light graphic novels absolutely picked this up amazing beautiful sweets and in the meantime you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use we are we are the youth of the nation has done this a lot we have done this a lot We've done a slot at C's first meet at Colescoldo At A Extra, Emily Nachy, Gertz and J.J. You've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of A's, you've done a lot of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D. Jeffre S. Hucy, later McSkater, Matt M. Cutter W. Feared to Al. Daniel G. Caulder's twin brother, Baldur, who is half an inch taller. Dungeon Mama, not sexual. Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P. Vincent W, Victor TAK, Balaners Boy,

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Tulkis, Bowchick a Wow-Wow, Derek D, Tristan G, Dungeon Balif Tucker, that's right Jake, first your wife, now your job, Jasmine and Fam, the surgeons behind Pendergreens, Juicy New Ass Alex Kay Joshua P Joshua Paul S Martin T Alex and A Lins W Mandy K M.S. Red the reforged war forged James Mr. Crafty Hammy Beverly's distant cousin Blue Drew the godly king and finally Hunter W. Thank you all so much for listening you can head on over to our patreon and listen to our after show over on patreon.com slash natbot. That's any DDPOD. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all our listeners and all of our benevolent counsel of elders. We'll catch you all next time.