Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Hot Farts, Boston Bards, and Drowning Barbarians (w/ Danielle Radford!)

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

Dungeon Court is back in session, featuring our newest Justice, Danielle Radford! Join Justices Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and Radford, along with Paralegal/Bailiff Jake, as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to adamandeve.com slash p-a-w-p-a-w. It's the only way to get this offer. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon. Welcome to Dungeon Court, everybody. Dun, dun! We are your supreme crit justices,

Murphy, Axford, and Tanner, joined by the lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, low lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly lowly low Hello, thanks for having me. I'm really excited. Thank you for being here. Oh, that was nice. I am. I'm so excited. It went from us insulting Jake to you just being so sincere and sunshine. Well, now that you all have told me that, like, you know. Yeah, you're excited to insult Jake. I'm excited to insult Jake.

Now I can pin on it. But you can't do that yet, not until you swear you in. OK. As a justice. There is decorum. I got it. Would you kindly read the oath? I, Danielle Radford, do solemnly swear

that I will support and defend the players, as well as the DMs against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation of my own volition, and that I will well and faithfully embark upon this noble pursuit of justice, so help me God. So welcome.

Clean, real justice, Rad. And with that, you can be really mean to me now. Yeah. Whoa, woof, I was just waiting. Yeah, this is great. I was mentioning, I think, I love how I'm about to say, like, some people might know this.

No, they don't, no one knows who I am. But I, so I, there was a time when I was a paralegal, and there was also a time when I worked for ALJs, which is administrative law judges, when I was living up in Seattle. So that I would be like their assistant, I would help them with like cases and like writing out orders and stuff.

And so it feels really good to like be on this side of it. Although I do, and I do think that that means, so are you, are you a bailiff or paralegal in this, or assistant? I'm so much. This is, I am just a bailiff. We don't know anything. He's been about like a four time,

but disgraced and disbarred judge. Yeah. He's risen and fallen from judge. I ascended in Boston and then I was disbarred. Yeah, we keep giving him second chance. I think that same thing happened in Portland. Oh, I want that Hulu documentary. Give it to me.

The rise and fall of Bailey. The rise and fall and rise and fall and fall again. And fall again. He keeps Catch Me If You Can-ing in different states. And let's see which way I go this week. Hear ye, hear ye. Crit is now in session. The honorable Supreme Crit justices Axford Murphy, Tanner, and Radford presiding. And I'm so excited to see what kind of legal expertise you can

bring to our first case. From Gabba Gublin to the venerable justices and their trusty sidekick Bailiff Boy, I present to you the case of the noxious fart. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. We're starting strong. Yeah, let's go. If you hogged a day seasons ago,

I DM'd a low level New Jersey themed one shot for some friends. Where the party had to journey through treacherous barren pines to rest a powerful gubernatorial artifact from the hands of the evil ogre, Christophis Christian. Okay. Oh. The party took a long rest and I asked them

to describe their morning routine to encourage some role play. My older sister playing a DeVito-esque gnome named Nart. Nart is- What do we think DeVito-esque refers to? Is it stature? Is it attitude? I think it's everything.

Is it with? I think it's both. I think it's all. Hair, hair, okay, okay. Yeah, everything we picture when we picture Devito S is correct. Right. So this Devito S gnome named Nart

described how a friend's character, a sexy tiefling named Chad, ripped ass so loudly that it startled everyone awake. Okay. Our friend immediately argued that she couldn't just narrate that, indignantly insisting that it was completely out of character and Hot Chad would never do

such a thing. As a compromise I ruled that I would allow the fart if everyone within five feet, most of the party, made a con save against 1D4 poison damage. Eventually- What are we doing here? Eventually everyone agreed to take the damage and the session moved on. But it gets brought up every time someone mentions D&D and our friend is still a little salty about it.

Anytime someone mentions D&D. Like ever? I'm talking about this fart. I bring up how I railroaded someone into farting. Anytime someone brings up the letter D, they immediately just start farting. Talk about my DeVito-esque gnome. I ask the court,

was I correct to honor my sororal bonds or should I have protected Chad's sexy dignity? Okay, so this is the DM being like, another player says, it would essentially be like if Moonshine was like, what do I do this morning? Yeah, Beverly rips ass. Yeah, I smell another person farting.

It'd be one thing if the DM was like roll a constitution saving throw to not fart in your sleep. I guess that's, you could consider that a joke, a crass one that kinda sucks, but you could do that, which is narrating that someone else farts is weird. I mean, it's not. This is fart railroading, let's face it. Right, right, right.

This is fart railroading. And it's PC railroading, which we rarely, rarely. Which is even worse, mean, it's not. This is fart railroading, let's face it. This is fart railroading. And it's PC railroading, which we rarely, rarely. Which is even worse, arguably, yeah. I think you can do reverse DM railroading, where you just say that something exists, and then the DM will say yes or no, usually no. The concession of I'll allow this fart if you take damage. That doesn't make any sense.

It really doesn't make any sense. Maybe then that PC also gets one. It's like, okay, if you could make me fart, then I also get that you just burped disgustingness into my mouth. Yeah. But it sounds like Sexy Chad still was unhappy and they're still salty to this day.

I think that the DM said, okay, I'll let you say that happened if you all take damage, almost assuming everyone was gonna be like, I don't wanna take damage, but then everyone saw Sexy Chad trying to not fart and was like, yeah dude, I'll take damage. Is this like, are they-

It's only 1D4. Yeah, are they trying to teach Sexy Chad a lesson? Like, do we need to get Sexy Chad a book like everybody poops from it? Yeah, hot people do fart, hot people do fart. Hot people do fart. But not so loudly. I don't agree with players.

Like, yeah. Sexy Chad wouldn't have, like, to fart loud, I think you have to push it though. He's sleeping though. He's sleeping though. Is there a sexy way to fart, is the question. The idea that- For sure.

It's on the toilet and you giggle. Yeah. Jake figured it out, yeah. There is the trick. If you want to be that person, you go into the bathroom, you take the towels and then you use it to like, trow them in. To muffle? To trowuffle it? To truffle it?

Just slowly out, so it's like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I gotta say, that's way ruder. Fart in my toilet, not in my towels, friend. You can fart in our towels. Not in the hand towels, not in the hand towels. What are we, barbarians? As long as there's a hamper there,

you can fart in the hamper, that's fine. Everyone's got like one backup hand towel. Yeah. You go's a hamper there, you can fart in the hamper, that's fine. Everyone's got like one like backup hand towel. Yeah. Backup hand towel. You go to the hamper. For the guests that have to fart. Straight in the hamper. Can I suggest the most polite way to fart

would be to take your pants down and do it into a wind going away from you. Oh, that's smart, yeah. That's a smart fart. That's like majestic too. Yeah, or maybe fart. It's like a ritual to fart. Bare ass fart out the window into the yeah. That's a smart fart. That's like majestic too. Or maybe a ritual. Bare ass fart out the window, into the wind. That's really good.

That's number one. On the highway. Yeah, on the highway. That's just getting whipped, that's just all getting confused with a bunch of. And then there's all the gasoline and everything. Yeah, right. Because I do, I mean, look,

obviously you can't railroad someone else into farting, but also I do feel like there is a lesson that has to be learned here. I'm also wondering what else Sexy Chad has done where everyone at the table is like, I 100% will take damage for you to not do whatever the fuck it is that you're doing right now for like two seconds.

Well, they're playing the hot character, his name's Chad. Interesting, because everyone does fart. So you can't be like, my character doesn't fart. Yeah, that's weird. You have to be like, well, no, he can. I was fully like, this PC is so wrong to make the other PC fart, and then as soon as Danielle was like,

well, sexy Chad needs to realize that hot people fart. I'm like, damn, yeah. You might be right. Normalize farting, get hot. But this is not the way to do it, right? Yes, you can't, again, you can't railroad a fart. And I think we gotta put that in the press. And I think adding the poison to the fart

is like makes it even less hot. Could Sexy Chad now weaponize their own farts in the future based on the- He seems absolutely not into it. I'm sure they've done like a D4 of like temp HP. Like this fart actually smells so amazing that it gives you an aura. Because that's at least hot.

We need to move on. We need to move on here. Hot people, their farts don't smell. Okay, but what if there's an inverse, I don't actually have like firsthand experience with this. What if it's kind of like a picture of Dorian Gray, but with hot people's farts. What if all the nastiness that's not happening

in their face is going into their farts. Oh yeah. And they actually have the most rank once all. Or there's just a painting of them farting that smells really bad. Just constantly like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It's my painting in the attic.

I'm sorry. Your house just smells so bad. It's not a meth lab. It's my painting in the attic. I painted this with rotten egg tempura. OK, so we do agree that Chad does need to learn that, how people fart. However, this was not the way to do it. This is not the way to do it. PC railroading. So we are against this PC

and this DM. Yeah, we're against the Danny DeVito-esque PC. Unfortunately we have to rule against NART. I feel like the DM, my assumption is they were trying to give the players an out So I think I'm only ruling against the Devito-esque no. No, the DM allowed the players to run wild. Yeah. You gotta at some point be like, you can't narrate what someone else did. Is there some things kind of endearingly pure though

about someone who really wants to play a D&D character that's so hot and doesn't fart. It's very naive. Yeah. It's very like. It's Arthurian in a way. It's just like, yes, I have never farted. I am so pure.

I'm pure of ass. Virgin cheeks. It's like Princess and the Pea. Like, instead of not being able to feel the pee, like, you can't feel when he has to fart. Well, and that would also, that is a reason why he would fart while he's sleeping. You're holding it in all day long.

That's really cool. You finally unclench when you hit REM. Sleep is like the true final frontier. Like if you can hold in the farts while you sleep and like, and remain pure. If you're asking to remain pure in the eyes of God, then I think that that is truly the test. Yeah, I do. I mean, Chad obviously- What's hotter than being pure in the eyes of God, then I think that that is truly the test. Yeah, I do, I mean, Chad obviously.

What's hotter than being pure in the eyes of God? Yeah. Yeah. Chad needs to learn how to be that vulnerable, but this probably isn't the way. This is not the set. This is not the way. Okay.

And that's why I think you have to have our fart-trait of Dorian Gray in your... Fart-trait. Yeah. Yes. In your attic. Oh, most of the fun. You have to put a fart painting in your attic. In your attic sounds fun. You have to put a fart painting in your attic.

In your attic? You don't want it in the living room? I think it should be in the living room, but it could be covered, you know? And everyone's like, what's behind that? You're gonna need a mechanism behind the painting. There's gonna be a small slit where the ass is, and you're gonna have a balloon that inflates and uninflates

so that it is constantly moving on. Caldwell's an artist. You can handle that. Caldwell, you just invented farting pages. So ordered. So ordered, so farted. I was born too late. I was born too late. Our next case comes from Amanda Kay. Sorry, I'm on the phone with the Met and they said they wanted to.

So ordered. We have to move on. But you have to take this phone to. So ordered. We have to move on. But you have to take this phone call. Yeah, so ordered. May I please the court? My name is Amanda. I'm a college student in upstate New York and I've been playing in a campaign

with three other girls from school since September. My case is about some drama that took place in real life and is leading into our game. Yes, please. Our party is pretty standard. I play a barbarian and two of my friends, let's call them Apple and Banana. Okay, let's.

So pretty distracting. Apple, Banana, and Banana. We're not gonna be able to handle this, unfortunately. Yeah, sorry. We may have to do some of this. Rather call it all Jake and Emily are not gonna be able to handle this. Let's just do Partridge and Banana's Attic.

I don't even know if they're to blame. But we'll have to do that and move on. Apple and Banana play a cleric and wizard respectively. To keep things brief slash anonymous, Banana got broken up with recently. And Apple said she saw our DM, who we'll call Blueberry, making out with him at a party. Oh, what's the boyfriend's name?

Let's call him Pear. Okay, I like that, yeah. Making out with Pear at a party. Hosted by a mutual friend, we all share who we can call Pineapple. Sorry, is this an episode of Veggie Tales? I would watch Veggie Tales if this is what happened. The Veggie Tales are very religious.

They don't make out at parties. It really, no. This is why this is Fruit Tales. Where we do make out. It's all blended into a smoothie for parties. It really, no. This is why this is fruit tea. They never fart. Where we do make out. Yeah. It's all blended into a smoothie for me. I can't guarantee it. It's like killer parables.

Larry the Cucumber has never farted. I feel like there's so much association with all blueberries and bananas and stuff that it would arguably be less distracting if it was just like Rebecca and Sarah. Those names are much different to me than blueberry and banana. I'm instantly just like, oh great. I like to cheat with Rebecca and Sarah. Those names are much different to me than like Blueberry and Banana. I'm instantly just like, okay. All right, well, Apples and Clare, Banana is the wizard. I like to cheat with Apples and Bananas.

Okay, so Blueberry. Ultimately, the names don't matter. It's just that the DM is making out with one of the player's exes. Named Pear. Pear is, stop. Pineapple is making out with Pear. It doesn't matter.

Even though they broke up with Blueberry. Well, the players. The party was. Pineapple is making out with pear. It doesn't matter. Even though they broke up with Blueberry. OK. Well, they're players? The party was at Pineapple's house. Pineapple really is made out of pears. It doesn't matter whose house it is. DMs are making out with players' exes. You do want to remember that name Pineapple,

because it comes back. OK. Fuck. Wait, is Pineapple the original? No, no. Pineapple is just where the party took place. Oh my god. Pineapple hosted a party.

Okay, got it. Where blueberry. Pineapples are actually a similar. Where blueberry. Hospitality. Made out with pear. What the fuck does banana have to do with this? And apple is.

It's banana's ex. It's an apple. Who the fuck is apple? Apple is just the cleric. Why is apple involved? Why the fuck is apple in this party? Because they're at the table, Murph. There's no proof that this kiss took place.

But both me and Banana trust that Apple isn't lying. Oh, Apple actually saw the kiss. Oh, Apple saw it. Apple saw it. Goody Apple saw it. Goody Apple saw it. Goody Apple saw it all. Okay.

Oh my God. Our most recent session. That is actually beautiful. The cleric witnessing an injustice and having to be like, you know what? I am a cleric, I must speak the truth. Wow. The wizard has to have this knowledge.

Yeah. Our most recent session was tense. Blueberry, that's the DM for you. Yeah, we know, we know. Didn't know what we knew about the party. Oh. Nobody felt like role playing and things almost came to a head

when she was describing a busy tavern and banana mumbled, sounds like Pineapple's house, a little too loud. Justices I'm not asking you to solve college hookup drama though we can try. Yeah. No, we're gonna parse this out. I think that is what I'm gonna focus on. How do you deal with interpersonal conflict at the table? D&D is a social game and I just don't know

if I can handle another passive aggressive session. I feel like we gotta solve this before we come to the table. Like you can't show up super mad at each other. I think the second you knew, you guys had to reach out to Pineapple Pear. No, Pineapple's house. It's just Pineapple's house. It's just Pineapple's house.

Pineapple's not even playing. I think that you guys needed to reach out to Blueberry and be like, hey, this is what's being said. Is it true? If it's true, you probably wanna come clean. Either you can tell Banana or we will. Yes, yeah, yeah. That is how you order about Blueberry.

Have a chat, hey, Blueberry, we wanna let you know that we, that Apple saw this. We saw you kissing her chat. Hey, blueberry. We want to let you know that we that apple saw this. Yeah, we saw you. We saw you kissing. We saw you kissing. We're at Pineapple's house. We are from Veggie Tales. We're very religious. So I don't even know why we're there. I don't even know what a kiss is, but you got to tell banana about this or I'm going to tell banana about this. Yeah, I think that when situations like this arise, you just have to have one bad day of texting.

You've just gotta be hunkered down by your phone, figuring this shit out. Cause this session was doomed. You even said so yourself, no one felt like role playing. Well, why did no one feel like role playing? Because everyone was staring at everyone being like, there's a huge secret in the middle of the room. Yeah, the conversation that needs to happen.

This banana needs to be peeled. Also, let's face it, Pineapple's Party sounds a lot more interesting than most D&D dramas, right? Because this is real drama. Yeah. This is a real story. Everyone wants to get to the bottom of this. Do you think, is there any way to do like,

offer catharsis via D&D for this situation? No. No. For sure. This is actually a conversation that needs to happen in real human life. No, for forgiveness. Insight if Blueberry is a big bitch. I am very curious about Blueberry

and maybe Blueberry's name will be absolved. There's a sincere apology that could patch this over. Yeah. And also like maybe you mistook and there's somebody who looks like maybe they were just both wearing blue. Like who knows? But yeah, I agree.

You've got to deal with it. And I think doubly, cause normally this kind of thing, I do feel like often falls on the DM because you're kind of like the rules person at the table. So unfortunately the DM can't like mediate, they have to kind of like- They're absolutely part of it.

Yeah, they have to like, but that means they have to like, you have to have this conversation. Yeah. I still think that the people to be sentenced is maybe the people who didn't tell the DM, hey, this is all out in the open. Right. Cause you're the one,

cause the DM doesn't know it's out in the open. So the DM is just running a session not knowing. Yeah. Yeah. Not knowing. I mean, I don't want to sentence you with the worst thing in the world. Maybe you just invent farting paintings.

Well, no, I invented that. We sentence you to have a conversation before your next day. Although I will say, it couldn't have been that dramatic for everyone to be able to, because it sounds awkward, but it doesn't sound like, it's not like people were jumping over the table like fighting each other.

You know what I mean? That's my thing, cause it's, this doesn't sound like it's a case of like, they had been together for years upon years and they had just broken up like Friday and then Saturday, they all went to the pineapple under the sea party or whatever and like make out. It doesn't sound like that's what it was.

Is that a SpongeBob and Back to the Future reference? I did. Yeah. Beautiful. I wanna go to that problem. I only speak in references, by the way. Just a warning. Yeah, I think part of this is I can't figure out

if I'm ruling too harshly or too kindly by being just like, I have no idea to get how to get into a college mindset. I'm just much too old. I have no idea. I think the drama is eternal though. My only thing is just that the DM didn't know so they couldn't have prevented this.

There's only like, there's only a couple people that could have prevented the awkward session. Do DMs have a responsibility not to hook up with their players? Yes, for sure. Yes, for sure, but we don't know for sure that it happened yet. Right, Apple witnessed it.

No one knows. Oh, everyone should have had a chat. No one has talked to the DMs. Right, yeah, again. The DMs gotta talk to Blueberry. Apple's gotta confirm or deny, and then if they confirm, confirm and apologize, and see if that can allow the sessions to move forward.

Is there a world where the college isn't Skidmore? Doesn't it just feel like this is a Skidmore thing? Also, I feel like it has to be a small college to be like already someone from my D&D group is hooking up with my ex. That's a, we're talking like a thousand people per year. Actually, if it's a D&D group, it could be a Bard. Yeah, yeah. No, like I Actually, if it's a D&D group, it could be a bard. Oh.

Yeah, yeah. No, like I immediately, I went to a arts conservatory which was quite small and I was like, oh yeah, this sounds like my drama department. Or a vassar, this could be a vassar problem. Ooh, major vassar problem. Okay, you know what? Oh yeah, somebody like being in their house,

like owning a house, one of these things. I'd like them to transfer to vassar. What about- If they're not at vassar, they should be at Vassar. What about this, since we had so much fun with all the fruit names, how about you have to have a serious conversation with the rest of the table,

but you have to call everyone by the names that you said here, so you have to be like, so to make this a little simpler, we're gonna call you Blueberry. In an effort to sort of depersonalize this charged situation. And you need to bring sort of like depersonalize this charged situation. And you need to bring sort of like a fruit platter and be like, we're gonna do some light role play

to kind of figure out, we're gonna talk about your feelings here. Instead of an olive branch. Blueberry, take these blueberries here. Apple, why don't you tell us what you saw Banana X doing with blueberry. And then you all make a smoothie afterwards. You know what though, I, if in this situation,

just to get into the nitty gritty of college drama, I would not rat out Apple for seeing the kiss. I would say, we heard, I don't wanna blow up anyone's spot. I just wanna tell you that this is the rumor. Confirm or deny. Or Apple has to be like, I saw you. If Apple's comfortable, that's great. The fact that it's Apple the cleric,

I'm picturing just the sweetest, nicest person being like, oh, what if I see you? Yeah. I would love to not throw a grenade into our friend group. That'd be great. Yeah, okay, so we sentence you to a fruitful conversation. Oh! There it is.

Wow. So orgy. There we is. Wow. So ordered. There we go. Our next case comes from Jonathan T. Jonathan writes, "'To the distinguished judges, "'Axford, Murphy, Tanner, Radford, "'and the side hustling Bailiff, Jake, thank you.

"'I present to you the case of the Hogliday ambush. "'It was a cold Christmas and peak COVID lockdown 2020 "'when our regular D&D group, along with some additional players, met for a festive caper one-shot over Zoom. Cool. Our DM told us to make new characters, the only guideline being they all were supposed

to be thieves or bad guys. The session proceeded in high spirits. Everyone was enjoying the festive shenanigans in what was an especially difficult time. Quickly into the adventure, we realized we were in fact storming the home alone house. What is the good ending here for these characters?

I also wanna know the moment they realized, was it that sound bite from the TV? Or was it like when they knocked over the little statue out front? Oh, wow. I was thinking that what's the sound bite that Kevin... Oh, keep the chain. Keep the chain, yeah.

Like was that the sound bite? Yeah, pump your guts full of lead. Yeah. During the game, we found the encounters dull. So myself and two other players hatched a plan over chat to betray the party at the end. After all, we were evil thieves. So upon completion of the adventure, treasure found, we drew swords and spells and attacked. This quickly went disastrously in our favor after the DM's wife raised her magically embalmed

firearm and proceeded to shoot another PC directly in the face. We downed two of the six other party members on our surprise round. Immediately, the rest of the table looked shocked and slightly confused. Whilst a few saw the funny side, one player in particular took great offense stating, quote, this is the only thing I've been looking for with you all Christmas. Oh, my God. And you've ruined it.

Look what you did you little jerk. Look what you did you little jerk. He then proceeded to storm out of frame and started packing up in an outrage. What? Packing up? Packing up? Where are you?

He's just like, that's it. I'm gonna violate lockdown. They probably mean packing up their dice, but I really did picture them like packing up their room. Did you get like a D&D hotel room? Like, I'm gonna treat myself. I'm not quarantining anymore. Yeah.

I'm going straight to a basketball game. Please tell me honorable judges, did this individual overreact or are we truly the gringes that stole his Christmas? Wow. I, look, lockdown, no one was normal. I think you just have to start by saying no one was normal. And also, so add on top of that,

that like no one expects a PVP on like a really chill Christmas. I think it's hilarious. I think you have to know your table. And I also think that during lockdown, there's like so much other stuff happening that people might not be talking about. It was really bad.

So like, you don't know what else Mr. Pacamuff had going on. Like, dirt. It wasn't the only thing that bothered me. We don't know what was going on with him. Now his name is Mr. Pacamuff. Raspberry Pacamuff. He was getting chased by ghosts, so. Yeah, this is, I'm of two minds of it.

Cause on the one hand I'm like, it what the fuck? And kind of think it was funny. But like Danielle was saying, you do kind of need to know who you're at the table with. And PVP, I do think you kind of need to make it clear that that's what it is up top. Because some people get, like, tables get really tense when there's PVP. For like good reasons. And you know, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, make it clear that that's what it is up top. Cause some people get like tables get really tense when there's PVP for like good reasons. It's like, and like you, I think the sin to me is like sidebarring with certain people and being like, let's betray everyone. It's like, why did you choose certain people to betray everyone with?

Probably felt worse to have multiple people attack them rather than one person. Yeah, cause that's also like, oh, am I the person no one likes? It's like, you know, and there are games that are specifically meant to like have that element that were very big during that time.

There was like Among Us, there's like, you know, there are other games that you could have been playing at a time where you could have gotten that if you just wanted to like attack your friends. I think that doing PvP secretly as a group just brings up a very strong feeling of, is there a group text I'm not on? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. It's like the most devastating feeling. During lockdown, everyone's feeling left out. It's just a feeling you really don't want. Do you guys have another thread? This is blueberry, pineapple, apple level stuff is what's happening here. There's also the element of I think it's frustrating

with surprise rounds and stuff like that because this happens and so it'd be one thing, it's like somebody hits you and then you're like, okay cool, I use my character and I hit you back or whatever and then even if your character dies it's fine. But this calculated like, cool, we attack them. I get an attack, they get an attack. And then they don't do anything on their turn

because they're flat-footed. They fly five feet back and they trigger the paint can which hits them in the face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're kind of like, they are left with no way for it to be kind of like, we attack you and then now you get to be in on the fun.

There's kind of no way for the other people to be on the fun. You're just ambushed in a way that's not, I don't know. I just think there's other ways to make fun for yourself while playing D&D without betraying everything that the DM has set up and the party integrity. Yeah. Yeah.

The DM, they went through all the trouble of translating all the traps from Home Alone into D&D encounters and hazards. I bet there was a giant tarantula up in there somewhere I just pizza buffs. Yeah, oh god cheese pizza buffs There's just so much. Yeah, like that scary furnace is probably like a fire method or something like that. Oh, that's cool Yeah, I just yeah, I gotta give it up for this DM. Yeah I think the surprise rounds are the real killer here

cause that just makes it not fun. Yeah, I think it's the surprise rounds, the group coordination and the time in which it happens. Yeah, someone like attacking you once just being like, ha ha, sneak attack and shooting me in the back for like 35 damage. That makes me laugh. Yeah.

Four like unanswered turns before me just makes me go, I'm bored. Right, why do I play this entire time? I don't know why you like me less than the other people. Yeah. Cool, I'm good. Yeah, it's funny when Harry slaps Marv, but if he like just stows him 10 times. Yeah, let's-

While Kevin watches. Yeah, let's leave the whole alone for this. Yeah. If the two burglars get frustrated at each other and bop each other on the head, that's fun. That's hilarious. I take out a gun, which is apparently someone's this. Yeah. If the two burglars get frustrated at each other and bop each other on the head, that's fun. That's hilarious. I take out a gun, which apparently someone did. Yeah.

Marv just shoots him in the face, and it's like, now the movie's over. The movie becomes much less fun. Although it hypothetically could have turned in if this one person who was like, this is hurtful for me, had retreated deeper into the house. Perhaps they could have used some of Kevin's traps against them and done their own one V party.

But I mean, that's asking too much of them. Yeah, you can't ask everyone to go into diehard all of a sudden, without knowing that was what was happening. Especially when this person clearly needed to move. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So are we all unanimous?

I think we're sentencing the group. We're against the- That did Are we against the PVPers? No, I do think it's funny. I do think it's funny and I get why you guys thought it'd be fun. I think that it just wasn't the moment for it. I think Mr. Pack'em up is an overreaction, but I do think it's not entirely fun. If anyone does like five attacks on me as like a bit,

I'm like, it was funny the first one. Right, yeah. I guess the overreaction is kind of what makes this like interesting, but for any time that you do this, you're actually probably hurting people quietly too. Yeah. So it's good to get out of this like,

this level of thinking. Right, I think. There's plenty of people that wouldn't pack up and yell, but they would just be like, nice. They just carry that resentment silently into the next thing. I'm excited for the rest of the day. When they first said, I shoot Murph,

I would laugh and be like, what? And then they'd do their damage. And then once the DM says, it's Murph's turn, he's surprised, he does nothing, I would just go, huh, okay, huh, cool. I like everyone at this table a little less, I guess. Yeah, I guess I'm just gonna sit here for the next 20 minutes while whatever this is resolves.

I look at Buzz's porn, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK, so we've got to sentence these TV peers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

How about sticky bandit style, have to get hit in the head with a shovel? Whoa! Your neighbor has to hit you with a shovel. Yeah. It's like the kind where you don't die. Like there's the kind where you don't die. Yeah, I am.

This is a fun bop to the head. You have a loud noise. Worse things happen to them in that house. The shoulder and head is pretty good. That's true. Although they, yeah, the iron to the face. It was a metal shovel for sure. They could have to walk up to make a D&D theme.

They could have to walk up a stairs that have D4s on it. Oh! Oh, yeah. Would you rather they hit by a shovel or that? Yeah, it would be a good, like, Kevin, Kevin McAllister. Let's do the, we'll do the Legos, but, and the broken glass and instead it's, um. Yeah, but it's D4.

That's good. And they do have to buy that guy a bunch of cheese pizzas now. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. And they do have to buy that guy a bunch of cheese pizzas now. Yeah. And don't pay for them. Or rather just like, he did pay for them. No, I think he pays for them. Does he? Yeah, he has Buzz's money.

Oh, right. Sticks to the corn box. Right, yeah, yeah. But then he still plays the recording. Because he says keep the change you filthy animal because he doesn't have enough money. Enough Home Alone lore. Moving on.

Mike C writes, to the illustrious judges, but especially Justice Murphy. Whoa. Oh, this is actually an update. Who I am afraid will once again turn against me when he hears my update to a previous candidate. I bring an update to the permissive Anchorman DM. What happened in this case?

You downed one of the players, if I remember correctly, and then the player just decided that their character actually wasn't dead. Yeah, because they didn't want to roll a new character for a one shot. And you just allowed it. For an Anchorman-themed one shot. Oh, for an Anchorman-themed one shot.

Right. Which I was already. So the reason they're saying, I have a feeling Justice Murph is going to be mad at me, I was already, so the reason they're saying, I have a feeling Justice Murph is gonna be mad at me, I was already mad at them for making Anchorman. Yeah. So Murph is on record saying Anchorman is fine. Which I guess makes Tony look sad.

I don't dislike Anchorman. Yeah. Because he doesn't like it enough. Okay. Yeah, this is highly controversial for some reason. I bring an update to the permissive Anchorman DM case from a while back. To answer a question, we played this game in college

when we were freshmen in 2009. I think I get that. That makes sense. That's Anchorman on DVD years for sure. But that is not the only update I bring. We got together this Christmas for a reunion and we played another Anchorman one shot. Beautiful, that's beautiful.

There's no excuse for it. Same characters, same DM. The only difference, I walked to the DM before the one shot and gave him Justice Murphy's advice. Kill a PC early and keep them dead. Don't just let them kip up because they don't feel like rolling a new character. This happened almost exactly like it did in college.

Our rogue Brian Fantana was killed by an owl bear. God damn it. And the DM narrated how we, his friends and fellow news anchors watched his soul leave his body forever. At first this was met with silence from the table and then uproarious laughter. As all of our characters had to immediately begin

to grieve and process Brian Fantana's death. That player rolled a new news anchor, champion fighter Veronica Corningstone. And we finished the rest of the one shot and had a great time reconnecting. I thank the court for the recommendations and once again beg Justice Murphy's forgiveness for making him hear about Anchorman.

I'm glad that they enjoyed their 15 year reunion. Yes. Wow. Yes. Wild. That's really impressive. Honestly, it is truly, I mean, I laugh out loud. It's very funny to do a light-hearted anchorman one shot and go out and kill people.

That's funny. Yeah, you doubled down on a bit. I can't fault you for that. That's a gorgeous update. So this court helps you. Technically, this is my fault. And all right, Godspeed to you. Hey there, NAD Polls.

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That is MintMobile.com slash Paw Paw. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to 15 bucks a month. New customers on a first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on a limited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Our next case comes from Sophia. Sophia writes to the honorable, succulent and juicy justices. Yeah. And the dry, unseasoned bailiff. They didn't even know I was here.

I have been engaged in a year-long debate with my other D&D friends on a specific question. What type of damage does drowning deal? This arose from a theoretical conversation, but since has become a fixture in our average session, this is especially relevant as one of our party members is a barbarian and argues that it's bludgeoning from hitting the water and water pressure. Oh, because they don't want to take bludgeoning.

They want to have that. And thus, yes, and thus she should take half damage while drowning. Please Supreme Crit, set official precedent for this issue so my table and undoubtedly countless others can end this debate with word from an official authority. I don't think it's bludgeoning. It's certainly not. Because I think that what it is is losing oxygen, right? Yeah. Oxygen decreasing from your blood vessels. Yeah. It's like suffocation. It's asphyxiation. Yeah. Asphyxiation. So what type of damage would that be? Would it be like acid damage? I think it's force damage because it's squeezing your lungs. And the pressure too when you start to sink. Isn't there water damage? Is there water damage?

I don't know. I think that's in Final Fantasy. No, no, no. There's not. Yeah. Water damage? Yeah, water damage. Hey.

It's psychic damage. Oh, is this really? Oh, no. I'm dying. Water damage. Oh, no. My basement took water damage. A Reddit thread from four years ago say water elementals deal bludgeoning damage. Oh no! My basement took water damage. A Reddit thread from four years ago say water elementals deal

bludgeoning damage. That's interesting! But that's like getting smacked by a wave. Getting smacked by a wave is totally different than drowning. Totally different than drowning. I think force damage is interesting. Force damage feels good. The only reason I would say

acid is just because it's like, I would imagine as you're, you're losing oxygen, that it's something about your blood is becoming not. Oh, yeah. Like almost not. It's a chemical. It's almost a chemical, right? I do think when you, so this is again,

is another thing that happens, I feel like a lot in cases and like arguments at the table is like, we try to take real world things and try to figure them out like D&D wise where it's like in the book, it just tells you how to handle it, which is like, it's not damage, right? It's like, however many minutes you can last

is based on your con modifier, I think is it? So I think you don't even take. You don't even take it, but they might've had a homebrew thing of like, when you're drowning, you're taking damage. You're taking a certain amount of damage. I think at don't even take. You don't even take it. But they might have had a homebrew thing of like, when you're drowning, you're taking damage. You're taking a certain amount of damage. I think at the very least, you have to look at the spirit of this

and you can't say that it's bludgeoning damage. I don't think bludgeoning makes sense. Yeah, you can't be taking half drowning damage. Yeah. Caldo has his finger up. Could I also posit necrotic damage? Okay. Because oxygen is how you live

and if you're sapping away oxygen via suffocation, that's basically you're dying. So it's necrotic. I like that too. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I also think that force damage would be appropriate

for if you're drowning and you're taking pressure. Like if you're getting deep in sea. Yeah, that was kind of what I was thinking with force damage because once you start doing that, because it does start being pressure. Also, I really like your chemical argument. I wish I was a person that studied the smart subjects. Yeah, some scientists out there being like,

Emily, oxygen and blood have nothing to do with each other. And then I'm like, cool, I didn't know that. I thought the magic school bus taught me that. But Emily, not the less. What did Stanislavski say? There's no oxygen and blood, it's just little guys in there. There's little guys in submarines, I'm like, gosh. Little guys.

Science has come so far. It's not just little guys. The magic school bus is real, we found out. Everyone's got at least one school bus floating around in their body. We all have a nano-missed wrinkle. Everyone farts, and everyone has. The average human swallows 8 to 10 school buses per year. Right, and they are full of children.

While you're sleeping. Hot teachers. But I think when we look at barbarian rage, that's just kind of the, you have resistance to these type of damage. That's like an in-world justification for essentially why you can fight with a shirt off. You know what I mean?

Like how you can be like a cool barbarian. It doesn't mean that you wouldn't drown or that you don't have to breathe or anything like that. And it is like reflected on your character sheet as a barbarian that you probably would last longer in the water, because you probably have high con. Because you would want to have high con. So I think this is more about constitution

than it is about being a barbarian. So I would say sort of the damage doesn't really matter, but if you really want an answer to this, I like necrotic, I like force. What are the other types of damage? Acid, bludgeoning, cold, fire, force, lightning, necrotic, piercing, poison, psychic, radiant, slashing, and thunder.

Okay. Okay, so maybe poison could also be if you're like, Oh yeah, because your blood is getting, like would blood without oxygen be poisonous? All right, okay. We're getting into the weeds. We're getting into the weeds. Listen up, scientists.

We don't know, we just know that it's not bludgeoning. We know it's not bludgeoning. We know it's not bludgeoning. We just know that. The barbarians trying to back into that to take out. Yeah, yeah, you've got high con. It's a straw man argument. Yeah, you're cool out.

We can't allow it. How do we punish this barbarian? I'm down to drown them, but we can think about. Yeah, we can try. We can try, is it really bludgeoning damage? Yeah. Let's see if you take half damage. Let's do some Salem court shit up in this one.

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. We'll hit the barbarian with a shovel near a lake. And if you're immune to bludgeoning damage, you'll be okay. There you go. Because of the shovel. That's real immune to bludgeoning damage.

We don't often kill people on this court, and maybe if we're innocent, we still won't. You'll be enraged, just bludgeoning damage the shovel. You'll just be near a lake. Yeah, this really is witch trials. Yeah. Prove it. Yeah, I approve.

Okay. One of you have resistance to drowning. Right. So ordered, our next case comes from Alien Buttpuppet. What? Whoa. Is there something we said on the show at some point? I certainly doubt it.

Something you said maybe. Dear sweet judges and whittle Baywith, I present the case of the Irish Catholic bard. My wife is a player in my campaign and plays a bard who willingly got turned into a vampire. Her very religious parents disowned her for it. The problem is my wife insists that her parents are Irish Catholic and worship Jesus. I have suggested they could be Pelor or Lathander worshipers, but no, she absolutely will not back down

even after I allowed her hometown to be called Boston. This is so, okay. Too slow. I think you opened the door. This is your fault. You opened the door, naming that Boston. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is your fault. Yeah.

It is your fault. It is your fault. Not you, Sean. Judges, do I relent to my sweet wife and her insane demand or do I stand my ground? You've already not stood your ground. You're on very shaky ground. Your tender judgment.

You're next to a lake and your wife's got a shovel. I left the door unlocked, cracked it open a bit, and she weaseled my way in. How do I evict her? This is a constant thing in D.D. McCourt where people are like, I would like to worship Catholic God. You're like, what, why? Yeah.

I mean, this is everyone's fault. There are no heroes in this story. I will say, we all just read The Bright Sword, that love grossman book, and they do talk about God existing alongside like fairies and like old gods of Britannia and that. So like maybe there's like a way with this world though. You can't just be like.

It would only be if you were comfortable, if you were comfortable like being like, yeah, let's stat out Jesus. It's a slippery slope. I personally could see that being fun, but also you'd have to be like, hey, is everyone at the table? I don't know where you stand.

Right, right. Are you cool with that? Do you make you comfortable? Uncomfortable? What is Jesus' challenge rating? We gotta figure it out. As soon as you're like, okay, fine, they worship Jesus, but they're not a big part of the story, then your wife is just gonna be like,

oh, no, it really is. I wanna go visit my parents. And then her actual parents just come into the room and they're playing at the table. Okay, now I wanna renounce vampirism and accept Jesus. Yeah. And then your wife is playing a born again. And then your wife breaks out a Bible

and the next thing you know, it's Bible's done. Yeah, and then you're getting baptized somehow and there's that bludgeoning damage or what. We do need to go back to what we said originally when we first heard it, which is that by allowing Boston, you have sort of set all of this into motion. You kind of can't have Boston without Irish church. Yeah.

I'm sorry. There's just a lot of churches in Boston. They've been built bird. I don't know. I would say. You did invite the vampire into your house, and now you're going to fly. Yeah, that's interesting.

Very ironic. This vampire is in your home. Yeah, I am kind of like, what was the exact wording of the question? Because I'm like, you shouldn't allow this, but also this is your fault. Yeah. If that makes sense.

Do I relent to my sweet wife and her insane demand or do I stand on ground? No, and also you didn't stand on your ground. You know what you also could do? You could just reach out to other players and be like, would this make you uncomfortable? Cause someone might be like, that actually would make me uncomfortable.

In which case you say to your wife, actually another player is kind of uncomfortable with it. I bet she backs out immediately. Right. The DM also might just be like, I don't want to like run like a campaign where the Pantheon is like, Palore and Jesus.

Like it just might be weird. Although you did make a town called Boston, which is. Do you guys wanna know about the world you've created for Boston? Yeah, I'm a little curious. Is there a baseball team? Is there a couple academic institutions there? Because if so, you're feeding this.

Do they hate those who yank? Wow. How much HP do you get from Dunkin' Donuts? How would you say wizard in a Boston accent? Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Are you a wizard?

Are you a wizard? See, he's fucking wizard. You're a fucking wizard or something. He's fucking wizards. He's fucking wizards. He's fucking wizards. He's actually just a gay. So we agree the Boston part of it rocks.

Wizard and boss. That's not real. Wizards and boss. Wizards. Wiz of it rocks. Wizards and bods. Wizards and bods. Wizards and bods combined. Yeah, it's actually great. It actually rocks, unfortunately. Okay, so we agree you can have Boston and not have Jesus in your games. Right, right.

I'm a fighter. Yeah. I'm a fighter. I mean, it's really good. Because also think about, like, pelor is fun to say in a Boston accent, like, ah, Pelor. Yeah. So maybe you bring that to your wife. You say like, think about how fun it would be to say Pelor constantly.

Yeah. It makes me think of the guy, like that viral video from wherever ago when the guy was, he like was catching a fish and he was like, oh my God, Palau! Yeah, it's Palau! Did you see him? He's beautiful! I don't know that video. I think maybe you can go and you can be like, look, I allowed Boston,

but it's like part of the world building and I changed the spelling a little bit. I made it Boston and it's T-I-N or whatever. And so you're like, so I allowed that, but I can't allow this. I can't allow Jesus. Ultimately you're doing way more work than she is. Say no to whatever the heck you don't want to plan.

Yeah. And I was, you know, I think once we did Boston accent saying wizards, I do think that Boston could fit in a fantasy world. Oh yeah. So I am going back on that a little bit. So I guess we're sort of on the DM side. Yeah. Even though we do agree you let this go a little too far. Yeah. Tell your wife to go to MIT and become an artificial. We're having too much fun. We're doing a Boston one shot.

Okay so what's the what's the punishment for this Bostonian wife? She has to do the accent the whole time? Yeah. Yeah, you say if you really, you wanted Boston so bad, you gotta do the accent. Yeah. Missed. Perfect, so order.

Order. Our next case comes from Phillip E. Phillip writes, to the venerated judges and the dishonored bailiff, thank you, I present the case of the devil versus smoke bombs. I was DMing a game for my brothers and their girlfriends in which they all chose the rogue class. Shortly in the campaign went out-

For some reason I just imagined this dude having seven brothers and seven girlfriends just 14 people at the table. 14 rogues? Yeah. Oh God. Anyway. Imagine the sneak attack damage. 14 girlfriends, 14 players at the table. 14 rogues? Oh God. Can you imagine the sneak attack damage? Devout Catholics in Boston.

Seven rogues for seven brothers. All right, shortly in the campaign, when asked how many smoke bombs a merchant had in his inventory, I made the mistake of saying, I don't know, like 50. Yeah. You made a mistake. My older brother immediately said,

great, I'll buy them all. On their next level up. Smart. Wicked smart. Wicked smart. Wicked smart. He's a wizard. On their next level up,

they all took the blind fighting feat. They proceeded to use them at the start of every combat. Which while annoying was great fun as they sneak attacked their way through the Feywild. Yeah. However, we had a large argument. One in count out.

Holy pololi. That we still disagree on. While trying to close a corrupted portal in the Feywild, they were briefly transported to the Nine Hells and immediately attacked by devils. Cool. They did their usual and immediately filled the area with smoke bombs.

However, all of the devils had magical true sight. I stated that would let the devil see through the smoke and negate any advantage or disadvantage. They disagreed as the smoke was not magical and would affect their eyes like any other being. After some back and forth, I relented and granted them the advantage. Was I right in my initial ruling that devils living in hell would be able to see through smoke considering, you know, hell and all? I await your ruling. Wow, Jesus in hell would be able to see through smoke considering, you know, hell and all. I weight your ruling. Wow, Jesus in hell coming up a lot.

We are having a biblical. I mean, my first thought is like, duh, devils can see through smoke. Yeah. Like fire and brimstone. That's like their backyard. That's their thing. Yeah.

You basically gave them a technicality when you're like, they have true sight, they can see through smoke. Yeah, I didn't even think they were going to say. They didn't even need it. Right. You could have just said your fallback argument and that would have been enough. Do you want to look up True Sight? Is that what you're looking up, Colton?

I was looking up to see if devils had resistance to fire, which I feel like would translate to smoke. Oh, that's interesting. Oh, okay. Cold, bludgeoning, piercing, slashing from non-magical attacks that aren't silver. This is the horned devil I'm looking at specifically. It's the ready other kind. Oh, damage immunities, fire, poison.

See, to me, I feel like I would rule that if they're immune to fire, then they can see through smoke. There's fucking smoke everywhere in the night. Yeah, I would absolutely agree with that. Also, you're the DM. You're allowed to just be like, hey everybody, in this one specific instance, you don't have your advantage.

It might be, this might be a little bit of a tough fight. That's okay, everybody. We're all gonna be okay. The definition of true sight is, they can see in normal and magical darkness. Yeah. Okay. So that's, yeah.

So you're kinda probably. You were correct twice. Yeah, you were correct twice. But you didn't allow yourself to get bullied by your brothers. But you did back down. Yeah. So I guess the question is, was I right in my initial ruling? Yes, you were, so you were wrong to back down.

So we're ruling against you. Wow. I think the devils should be able to see through the smoke, especially if they have true sight. And also it's fine, like you can just be as the DM and just be like, they can see you. Yeah. Like put on sunglasses. And hey, like just as a person,

you can stand up to your brothers sometimes. Yeah. Just like as a person. But there's seven of them Danielle. I know, I understand. And they all have girlfriends. They all have girlfriends. They're all sick Chas, they don't fart.

Yeah. They have paintings that smell like ass. My brother's girlfriends don't fart. Never seen a fart. Literally never seen a fart. Immaculate. Never seen a fart. Yeah, you've never seen a fart.

I've been looking. I've been looking. No green cloud. He's got an immaculate ass. All right, yeah, so we are sort of for this DM and that we think that your original ruling was correct, but we also are against you backing down. Yeah.

We're against you backing down, but they're kind of saying, like, was I right to say that? And we're like, yeah. So we're going to sentence your seven brothers and their seven girlfriends. Dude, they had to break up, right? Oh, yeah. Or switch.

They all switch. They all just like do like a round robin. Do they have to break up, right? Oh, or switch. They all switch. They all just like- Do like a round robin. Do a round, so it's like they all just move one to the left. Okay, sweet. So now apples with blueberry, blueberry, and that guy with pineapple. Oh boy, yeah.

We can actually do, we can have like the ultimate irony, they love the fog so much. We sort of set up a, we throw like a smoke bomb in their home and they all stand across from each other and you just pick a random partner from across the room. Yeah.

That's fun. That's fun. I mean the nieces and nephews and niblings might get confused, but it'll be fun for the adults. Yeah, you'll figure it out. Just accept Jesus and everything will be fine. Okay, so ordered and now actually with that, we are gonna step, we're gonna step into church.

It feels like we've been there for a long time, I think. I will hear a confession from Samuel W. Samuel writes, I come before the wise dice priests and the high pitched altar boy. I don't know how I've fallen to the status of church. To bring a confession from a campaign from two years ago, I was DMing a party who made it to the final battle against the Big Bad whose main ability

was to temporarily steal spells and class abilities to use himself. A fighter's action surge, wizard disintegration spell, et cetera. During this final battle, Louis, who is playing a warforged cattle rancher named Ranch, was- Ranch?

Have a ranch. Oh yeah, yeah. Have a ranch, yeah. Was about to attack the Big Bad and would certainly kill him if he hit. Unfortunately, Lewis cannot roll for shit. He has rolled back to back to back not once on at least six occasions. He would be jealous of Caldwell's rolls. He of course failed to even hit the big bad. What's worse is that his adoptive father had just died before the battle and encouraged him to keep fighting and do the right thing. Oh wait, the character. Not his dad.

Oh my god. No, same. Hard same. He still kept his D&D game together. I'm still down to meet at seven, guys. I might actually be early. Hey wait, is everyone turning against me? I'm moving. In an act of attempted kindness, I bumped up the villain's HP so that he would have another chance

when his turn came around. Unfortunately, during the extra turn of life, the BBEG used a stolen disintegrate spell to kill the party wizard, even going as far as to counterspell the wizard's counterspell. Ranch did deal the finishing blow and the wizard got a touching welcome into the afterlife

with a former academic rival, but my actions still weigh heavy on me. PS, we all still play together, but I've never told them about my HP meddling. Yeah, take it to your grave. Take it to your grave. The HP meddling, yeah, take it to your grave, but this isn't really the HP meddling.

It's going so hard. Now that we did you cast one of the scariest spells, you also counter spells. You're out of your control. It's funny too to say really hard. It's funny too to just be like, the BBEG did this. I had no control of this game. It's like, you've already cheated.

You're like, all right, the BBEG is dead. We just want this narrative moment to happen. It's just like, you gotta do a better job with the smoke and mirrors. Yeah. I feel like when you're like doing that, when you're like beefing the HP a little bit for like one last round, that's when your big bad acts like really desperately and doesn't look stupid. Yeah. Yeah. It really is so funny. We've seen so many cases of meddling the other way. Like I weakened my bad guy. Yeah. And there's one it was like, oh, I beefed up their HP for the right reason.

And then I counter-swelled and counter-swelled. He casts power kill on everyone. I mean, yeah. Except for my favorite person. Who I was beefing the HP for. Yeah. Well, this is a confession. So this person is saying,

so you are forgiven. You are forgiven. Just take this to your grave. Absolutely take this to your grave. You're forgiven, just don't tell anybody. Yeah. But it does sound cool. The wizard got like a cool after life thing.

Especially like at the end of the campaign. Sometimes it's fun to have your character die. Yeah. And then you get like sort of an epic conclusion to their story. So this sounds all good, I would say for the future. If you're going to show favoritism towards one person, maybe don't kill someone else.

Yeah. Turn. Just lock that secret in a cold iron cage in your heart. Yeah, there you go. But so forgiven. Thank you all so much for everyone for listening. We're gonna have something fun over on our Patreon. Danielle's a wrestling fan like me.

We're gonna be running a little battle royal one shot. Oh my god. A rumble if you will. Excited about. I'm calling it the Toyle Tumble. The Toyle Tumble. So head on over to Patreon.com slash Nadpod, that's N-E-D-D-P-U-D, don't sing yet to listen to the Toyle Tumble.

Danielle, thank you so much for joining us. Do you have anything you'd like to plug? Thank you. Do I have anything? Oh, you can find me at all the places. I'm finally watching Severance. I'm very new in watching Severance. And I, I mean, kind of a spoiler,

but not really, cause I'm very new in it. I just want those old men to be in love forever. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, I've only watched first season, but that is the heart of the story. Yeah. I just like, I didn't, I didn't know

I needed Christopher Wagon and John DeTuro to just make out hardstyle. Just like gently touch him. They're like borderline regency in it. Yeah. It's truly one of the most beautiful love stories I've ever seen. Yeah, just like eyes like fleeting, like a touch of the pinky. Yeah, they do it perfect.

It's incredible. Oh my God, heart melting. Hell yeah. And you can follow us on social media, there may or may not use, at C-H-N-R-S-E-E, at Coldest Cold Doll, at AX-T-R-E-D-E-M-E-L-E, at Jake Hurwitz's Jake and Danielle, what are your socials?

Oh, on Instagram, the Pretty People website, as just Danielle underscore Radford. I'm not really on Twitter much, but it is probably just my name. Me neither. It's like the one that looks like me. If she's talking about wrestling a bunch, it's me. If she's like offering to like give you or sell you like a laptop, it's probably me.

Then it's me. But if it's a laptop full of wrestling, of wrestling paper, then it could be Danielle. Okay, okay go either way. And I think I'm just Danielle Radford. BlueSky.Soche. Yeah, just find all the ones that look and sound like me. Yeah.

Just use context words. Not hard. Yeah. I can't wait to buy crypto from you. Yeah. Oh, you can't wait to buy the rad coin? The rad coin. Shit, shit, that could work.

Damn, actually I really like rad coins. Okay. Oh my god, it's down. It's down hard. No way! We sank, we sank. It's all down. But I'm draining the ocean for it.

And you could talk about the show online by using hashtag NADPOD, that's N- are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, we are, the youth of the nation. Dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun-jin, dun- dungeon, dun-ginn, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, Dun, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon,

Dun, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon, C. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, later Mick Skater, Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T. aka Balnor's Boy, Hoyd's Friend, Justin I., Danny Danster, TJ M., Trelai the Cray, Christopher B, Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobold, Targot, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebukeer PhD, Princess Yar, Jory S, Rachel from Animorphs, Jack L, Nicholas C. star of every film ever made in Bohemia Mike H Alka Smeltzer Plus Great Value Gemma Tyler F Heradrian

Carboro Chapel Hill FPV Rex Daniel the White Cici Lulu Old Cobb's Dunkle, Older Burn Hécure Prahle, Zer rabbit-foot detective. Timmy R. Rayco. Calder Comes Cold. Shout out to the Cold Cum Companions. Frosty Facial. Taylor B.

Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way. And also that 12th platinum bar we found in Dracula's grave. Cass Strong Grinch. Steven. J'aime les bières brunes. C. Grinch. Steven Jemlebyr Brun C. Mike K Nick W. William W. Big Bad Beardo the Mad.

Eric McD. Ananarama. Percival Fredrickstein von Muselklazowski de Rolo III. J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock. Jocelyn M. Bin A, Dave H, Dustin S, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfart's assistant Izzyelbal Dar Summer Rose, aka Grand Tare Mark, the Dark Lord's Taint

Kat C Misa, of House Inzunza Ariel, the Occasional Mermaid Selina N, aka Valaesiraptor RAAAAAAA Be Perky Always Pat L Maxwell J

Lauren H Serv 16 Annie, the Feywild Therapist Connor S He always Pat L Maxwell J Lauren H serve 16 any the Feywild therapist Connor S Salil Bioquart 7 Amber dextrous Bean rat was innocent drop hop dropper Jack Hubert King of the Mall people under iron deep dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Valen.

Paj, the bitch in Bunny Bard. Carlin C. Noah, the Bullywag Boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G. Everything Bago, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey. Reverend Chatterbones. Han. Eric B, Marcos, learns the balance druid, Frieda M, Maggie, Holly the green laughing hyena, Akash T, cow knows you're listening to Ricarda, comma, wink, Aaron B, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, every time.

Cody C. Cody Care. Lorelei the succubi and Kira the succulent snack. McKinnis Stout. Your friendly neighborhood yawn and yunkle Andrew and Sid. John Adams. Didn't win the vote, but won your heart. Meg the mail carrier of Bohemia, James F. Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them. Turn to page 42.

Keep them turned to page 69. Shane C. Barpo Goodbarrel, Bard Barian. Welsh Lander. Garrett G. AKA one big curd. Renee, the monster captain. Barpo Goodbarrel, Bard, Barian, Welshlander, Garrett G aka One Big Curd, Rene the Monster Captain, Olivia the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing stick it to the man, parentheses, down with the monarchy, Winterslade, Fico, Garrett the

Artificer, Damon, son of that one merchant, you know, named John. Anthony, the raddest of dudes. Jay! The fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo, that's so sweet. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi loves the two crew. Love ye, Lexi? Roger L. Nodrog, the pacifist barbarian

Gene OT Gianluca Tristan the talentless hunk Shenanigans O'Connor Mios the Great Joshua S. Alexander Linz W.

Johnny Dude K. Pavu Eskenor the Goliath Paladin, providing service with a smile. Tiam Am. MLG Cheeto. Shelby, Kenna's first favorite sprite girl, celebrating turning 32 by seeing D20 at MSG dressing up as Sofia Lee. Snailus, who's infecting Worcester for within. Captain Morgan, pirate wizard. Mima Skadez.

Megan In. Anthony B. Savannah H. Balnor's best friend, Steve. Stephanie of House Inzunza. Benjamin A. Gimli the Corgi, Pop-On Foster's canine friend. Mikel A.

Josh Hole, pilot of the Night. Carl B. Plummer of the realm. Dex Riddlewell, the first of the two. And the second is the first of the two. And the third is the first of the two. And the fourth is the first of the two. And the fourth is the first of the two. And the fourth is the first of the two. And the fourth is the first of the two. L.S. the Second, Carl B. Plummer of

the Realm, Dex Riddlewell, Hannah A. Ra, Ace Dregs, High Lord of Kritzberg, Darius Davis, the Guy from That One Thing, Troy's Mom, Vin Diagram, GKC teehee teehee Katmilius the consumed Bard of holding Clinton P Grinchful Cam the Grinch frogman Dean Jake W Hi mom Tuesday Cross the choose your own adventure writer not the porn star Steve L Tyler Tyler M. Alex G. Zibbidi-bacary! Nicole Catarina C. Lady Jacqueline P. of Castle Whitestone. Greg W. wants the D20 truck nuts Jake thought

up. Too bad Greg, they're all mine. Baruk Thunderhelm. 5th generation Minotaur, working as an abandoned Labyrinth tour guide. That is a noble profession, Baruk. Continue your work. And finally, Chupacabri! Ah, that is all of our elders. Thank you so, so much for all of your wonderful support. We appreciate you more than you'll ever know. That's going to do it for us this week.

Thanks again for listening and we'll see you back here a real soon. Bye bye.