Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Overpopulated Academies, Unsent Texts and Pop-Punk Homework

Episode Date: March 6, 2026

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, along with the Frigid Bailiff Jake, as they pass judgement on your trials at the table!Come see us LIVE in Australia and New York City!CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon. Welcome to Dungeon Court, everybody. Dun, Dun, Dunn. We are your Supreme Crit Justices Murphy, Axford, Tanner. And the lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, cold bailiff, Jake Hurwis. Low temperature. Yeah, low temperature.

Coldly, coldly, coldly, coldly. My heat is broken. I'm recording this. in a nanopunk. So you cheer? You guys getting that swish? That's a good folly. That's Jake jerking off in a snowsy.

We're getting the swish. Jake does look like he's on the thing. Like there's some sort of infection going on in the city that he's trying to hide out from. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool. I wish. The infection is these rotten fucking slum lords.

Yes, but Jake is on an expedition. We're all on an expedition to find the truth. A legal expedition. And with that, hear ye, hear ye, Crit is now in session, the Honorable Supreme Crit Justices, Axford, Murphy, and Tanner residing. Our first case comes from MC,

to the magnanimous and fair justices and the bailiff whose name escapes me fair, and ultimately doesn't matter, even more fair. I present to you the case of the silly Christmas one shot. I love how much drama there is over like these seasonal, one shots that are meant to bring everyone together. It's because it's one shot, so they're just like, well, I'll kill Santa Claus, right? And they just like ruin Christmas for everyone.

Okay, go on and delight me. Yeah, how many divorces? Whatever MC got up to. I am the DM of a years-long campaign with friends that's going really well. Cool. We've never really had any major disagreements, and they all seem engaged with the story. The only time we got actually heated was this past Christmas when I designed a very silly non-canonical adventure for them to play through.

Basically, they had to fight a bunch of mind-controlled characters from those kids' Christmas movies, like the Heat Miser, the Snowmiser, Santa Claus himself, and eventually the Grinch, who is behind it all, obviously. Yeah, yeah. Seems great. It checks out. So far so good. One of my players immediately was hesitant to participate, saying, quote, my character's

mother just betrayed her and banished her wife to the nine hells. why would I go on some dumb adventure to fight the Grinch? That's rough. That's a really rough energy to start with it. Bad start to the holiday season. I tried to laugh it off and say it was just for fun, but she dragged her feet the whole adventure, playing her character as despondent and brooding.

While the others had a great time, opening silly Christmas-themed D&D gear and fighting Claymation Reindeer. Fair justices, I ask, was I in the wrong for having such a silly one-shot for the holidays? Was my player right? And I should have planned something different. I think that television has ruined all of us because we're so used to just like narratives and like season long arcs now that like the binge model has ruined the idea of like a silly one-off Christmas

episode. Yeah, again, we brought this up every time we do a live show. It's Dragon Ball Z movies. Yeah. You just you pluck them right out wherever they're at and you give them a different problem. Yes. And it's completely like separate from the main plot of the show. You don't, need to be brooding about whatever just happened. You just take your character, you keep some of the fun jokes, and you just go on the new adventure. Yeah, that's why all those movies start with them, like, at the Kame house,

just like hanging out. Yeah. Krillin's doing something stupid. Like, Krillin's got a new haircut. Everyone's like, what's going on? Krill doesn't have any fucking hair, dude. Sometimes he gets hair. Sometimes he does get hair. You're absolutely right. I'll take the tiny L. I'll take the tiny L. I'll take it back. That was a regular size L.

That was a regular size L. I admitted it's so fast. Dude, you're lowly. I admitted it's so fast. The lower case isn't about how fast you admit it. Otherwise, every single all of yours would be at. I think the speed with which he admitted does kind of shave off the capital.

All right. I take it back. I'll take a tiny hell now. Murph was like so. See? And I think you deserve one for backtracking that quick. Murph was so reflexively mad at me. He didn't even stop to think about how I could possibly be right.

Yeah. Well, no, he actually quite literally did stop to think about it. Yeah, I would stop. Yeah. Well, it's because it's just like such a bad example of being like, you know, we're talking about all the silly things that could happen. Krillen getting a haircut. Famously when you think of Krillen, you think of the bald head. Think of bald head.

Yeah. If I'd say like Krillen gets a cool hat, maybe we're on. Yeah. Oh, and he does have a lot of cool hats. He does have a lot of cool hats. A bowler guy, a derby guy. All right. You know what?

I'll take the tiny L. Yeah, I was going to say tiny L's all right. What? Except for Jake. Except for Jake. No, I think you're... Well, Jake, do you know who Krillen is? Yeah, he's the bald guy.

Which one? What do you mean? Which one? Wait, wait, wait. Okay. How many bald guys are there? There's a bunch of bald guys. There's like 11, but he's, okay.

There's a bunch of bald guys. Let's ask, okay, Jake, is Krillin, tall or short? The answer to that is that he's short. Wow. That is correct. Okay. All right. Okay.

Tiny W for Jake. Jake, show us your phone. Jake, what's on your phone? What's on your phone? What's on your phone? Is pick. hair. I don't know and I'll take the tiny elf for that. Okay. He's also bald. He's also bald. Really? Okay. Okay. Okay. Moving on. Moving on. What the fuck were we talking? Okay. We were talking about

someone who was still deeply engaged with their character's narrative. I think, I feel like there has to be a way. A lot of the submissions we get are someone who's maybe taking their character too seriously. Yeah. Maybe that's like a controversial thing to say, but I think there's a way to take your character seriously in the moment and then also be able to step away from it. Sure. Be like, oh man, I need a break from the game because my character's going through so much. Yeah. They need something to lighten the mood.

Their wife was just banished by their mother. Some people just play D&D too brood, I think. Yeah, I think you're right. They really want to do a, we've talked about it before where it's like a lot of people just want to do a scene in an acting class. Yeah. Yeah. be like, oh, how could I ever move again?

Just like, you know, brooding in a room or something or like being very saske about it and be like, yeah, I need my revenge. But like anime is the perfect template here because like usually when that person is brooding, like everyone else is doing something extremely silly. Like there's like one character at the hot springs who's like off to the side, like staring at their palm and being like, I could have been stronger. But like everyone else is having a silly adventure. And like maybe you just need to take a back seat for a second. Or give yourself one brooding line. One brooding line could be good enough to kind of like tone set. But you don't have to drag your feet the entire time.

But if someone's like this is non-canonical, then I would be like, great. Stuff that doesn't serve this, I'm going to forget until next time we play and it's canonical. It'd be like if moonshine during the Donkey Kong one shot was like, my people, they're being destroyed by Crickroth. Donkey Kong, help us. But it's also like, I think part of the fun of D&D is those like mental gymnastics to like try and get yourself back to being motivated. Yeah. Like so much is going on in the world. But like Christmas must be saved.

Yeah. If we let Christmas fall, then what is left? Yeah, that's true. If you really were like, I refuse to play my character without this plot development. Like there's ways to just like look around the room and be like, it's the fucking holiday. Right. Yeah. It's Christmas after all.

I too have lost someone Grinch. Yeah, I would say if everything's like joky and the mood is light and no one's getting like bullied or anything, generally if everyone else at the table is having a fun wholesome time and you're not, it's probably your fault. Like maybe do some self-examination in that case. There are absolutely times where people submit stuff and I'm like, wow, table full of fucking maniacs. You absolutely have the right to be mad about this. Get new friends situation. Absolutely. Get new friends.

Since we do generous reads, could it be that this one shot was not introduced until they sat down to play? And so this player was like psyching themselves up and really tapping into the character right before. And then huge pivot, silly one shot. And they're like, fuck, I like was totally excited to take this on. Yes. I mean, we did have a secret Santa episode during our curse of strad campaign.

recently. So like it makes sense. I mean, but I, but you also, never going to not. I was going to say like you, you know your players. None of us are going to be like, wait, really? Yeah. But Onyx had character development. She was looking to work up.

Yeah. I think with that though, we have to give a generous read to the DM who's so thoughtfully put together. Yeah, I think so too. A holiday one shot. Right. I doubt that this, any DM that would put in that much work and be so thematic and everything and catering to their table.

But maybe it's general advice to be like if your character is just experienced a big loss and the next session you want it to be sort of a gimmick one, maybe you text ahead of time so that no one's spending the car ride there being like, oh my God. If someone loses their spouse,

you cannot next session fight the Grinch. I mean, counterpoint, counterpoint. If something bad happened to me in real life and then somebody burst in the room and said, we're going to go hunt the Grinch. You'd be like, that's going to help me get through this. That would be so helpful.

Did he do it? Doesn't matter. He's involved. Hand me of crossbow. Let's go. Yeah. I mean, ultimately it sounds like the rest of your players had a good time, which means

you barreled on, which means like I certainly would sentence this player. Right. But it sounds like you handled it well enough. And sometimes people are just going to be in a funk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what?

I guess we can give them the tiniest W for committing to their character. It messed up the whole. session, but you know what, they, they stayed true to that. And maybe that's worth the tiniest little double-y. I would say people need to come into their care. Just less. I would say absolutely huge L. The true Grinch. I think, yeah, okay, so we're going to punish this player, obviously. Yeah. Let's reveal that this player is actually the Grinch because now it's so good. So now, make it canonical, be like, you wanted it to be canonical so fucking bad. Fine. The Grinch gave you Grinch disease. You are the Grinch now.

It spreads like a zombie. You are the Grinch, clearly. You are the true Grinch all along. There's a Grinch stat block out there that you can play. So many. Yeah. Yeah. You look down at your hands. You see furry little green hairs starting to poke out. So hot.

You feel a taste for onions. Rich on your tongue. You need to eat glass. All of this was just to prove who the true Grinch was. There it is. And it's this player. Amazing. All right.

So Grinched. Our next case comes from Ryan M. Ryan writes, may it please the court. I had a situation from a game I played in law school that I thought might be appropriate for the show. Oh, this is going to be tough because they're a lawyer's way. They know the actual rules. Absolutely out of our debt. You know, we've got a lot of authority here, but let's puff our chests out and like really be insecure. Okay.

I'm showing them my bright right ass. We have our own code of conduct, our own set of laws. Yeah, way to know the laws. Yeah. We've forgotten more rules than you'll ever know. Yeah. We should big dog this person. We didn't give you permission to approach the bench.

Okay, now you can. I'd been playing alongside three other players and a DM, all law students, for about one semester. We had made it from level five to level 10, and a boss battle was brewing against a long-term bad guy, a demon prince. Night before the session, the following message hits our main group chat from the DM.

Quote, he won't even be that hard for you with your smites, but can I knock you out? to make it more interesting? The message was quickly unsent, but not before I saw it and took a screenshot. Our DM had clearly intended to send that message directly to another player by buddy Marcus, who was playing a paladin and had accidentally revealed collusion to fake a, quote, dramatic moment.

Oh. I was pissed. And so was the other player. I think it's bullshit to fake these moments. And if I knew the DM was going to use kid gloves, I wouldn't have wasted months playing in the campaign. There was no apology. So the group disbanded.

We never had the final fight. And frankly, friendships fizzled after. Whoa. Justices, should they be punished? I think they were wrong, but you seemed like you had a really big reaction. Like demanding an apology rather than just being like, can we not play like that? Yeah. But I mean, I don't know.

Well, I mean, I could see the DM like trying to make it special and just like thinking that that was the way to do it. And yeah, I would say that you want the DM to admit like, okay, maybe that's not the way we want to play, but like doubling down on the apology, which is also very funny to picture somebody doing that in a court of law. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that you super need an apology, but weirdly I do understand why you're not friends with these people anymore.

I understand. Does that make sense? It got over-dramatized, but I do think it's hard to come back from once the DM kind of like tips their hand. Yeah, shit, you're right. This battle has no stakes. Maybe they do deserve an apology because it is like, I don't know, it's weird.

You're like all sitting together, and then it's just like, actually this was all in, organic. Me and one of the other people were having a secret game where like I gave them cool moments and just left you in the lurch. It was almost like secretly DM by the other player because the real DM asks, can I knock you out? Right. Yeah. But is it possible that they were basically reaching out to the person they were closest with being like, I want to knock someone down? I'm looking at the stat block. You guys will probably win, but I want to knock someone down. And maybe they were trying not to hurt anyone's feelings rather than give someone a moment. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe it doesn't need an apology, but it needed an explanation. Yeah, I do want the context. Yeah. Probably like a Mia culpa. Because if there wasn't honest conversation after this, because my response to this as like, as one of the players that wasn't involved in the collusion would be like, hey, I would like a chance of like failure or something like that. Like playing the game.

And so I don't want to just know that my roles are meaningless. So can we just like kind of play it by the book or like you go in with? certain stats or whatever and you kind of stick to them like would that be okay yeah yeah just play the game yeah because it's like i guess the dm's plan was to like knock this paladin down but like that's even that it's just like up to the rolls unless you're like fudging everything right like i hate when you're sitting at a table and you can tell that like a dm is just targeting one person and you're like hi i'm here too hit me please also i want to be part of the fight i'm wondering if this paladin is like a real like alpha friend and so the DM friend is like uh-oh alpha friend's gonna get

so mad at me if I knock it out and so I have to check with alpha friend to make sure it's okay is it possible too that they're like okay your guy smites and I'm the most scared of your smites so I want to try and take the paladin out so that the battle will feel harder this is the most generous I'm giving a lot of generous reads I think this is just like my instinct would be like, why the fuck are we doing this? But so I'm like trying to give my generous reads. No, it's good. It's good to explore every possible looking cranny of what could have happened in this terrible friend group.

One thing I really love is this like scratched an itch I didn't know that I had of like hearing somebody's text message from a group chat read to me. Like I want more of those. It is. I mean like we've all been in that situation where we like almost accidentally texted a group that we didn't mean. to text or something like that. And it's, it's a harsh. I've done that before. I've done it so many times, but it's always like banal and boring.

It's always like, oh, sorry, I meant to send that to Merv. It's like, oh, Bruce is in the garage. I meant to send that to Merv. I'm always texting Bruce is in the garage. Mine are such small scale. It'll be like texting the wrong hockey team about like a game that's coming up. It's just like, whoops, this is for the other league. Yeah.

It's also an iteration of Be There in Five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoops, not at your house. Bruce is in the garage. Bruce is the, oh, he's going the garage. He doesn't go in the garage anymore. That's good.

He has learned to stop going the garage. That is not that interesting, that he would just be stuck in there for hours. Bruce is in the garage. The most common text. You're right. I like, there is something really salacious about text drama. I think it's because it inflates so quickly and people read words and don't know intentions and invent intentions.

and then we are doing the same exact thing. It's so fun. It's glorious. More of it, please. It's also so, it's so brazen to, like, talk shit over texts because, like, it's just so easy to send the wrong one. Yeah.

Like, it would be so easy. It's basically, like, a matter of public record at this point. Yeah. You say over time. Like, it will just be, it will be on earth. Yeah. A lawyer should know that. That's true.

What was this person thinking? I pretty sure collusion is, like, a real term that can be used in a lot. Oh, yeah. I think so it's wild for this person to like not know that. This is collusion for sure. Oh, we should disbar them. Yeah. That's good, right?

Yeah. You can't bet this DM can't be a lawyer in real life. Yeah. Sorry. You know, I'll say, I'll say, to the submitter, and you probably did this, in which case you can ignore this, but if you demanded an apology before you got the context of whether they were of the collusion, if the collusion was like to have a cool moment with the paladin, or if it was, let's try and make the fight a little harder, or if it was, I want to

want to knock someone out and I feel the most comfortable knocking you out. You got to find the context then demand the apology. An explanation is certainly over here. I think an explanation because it yeah. Yeah, maybe don't demand an apology. Demand an explanation and then you can go from there. But I do under, I totally agree. It's like just that as like a general life rule. Yeah. Explanation versus apology. Because like the apology can follow once the explanation has been solidified. It's also just saying I demand an explanation versus I demand an apology. You're like such a fucking wimp when you say, I demand an apology. And you say, I demand

an explanation. You sound like a badass. Yeah, it's almost like there was something in your, you did something with your voice to kind of make that point. Yeah, no, I sound the both the same way. An opinion apology. I demand an explanation. It's the same. Apologize. Yeah. So you guys

think that there are tables out there playing like this though, where it's like a DM and PCs are almost scripting what they want to happen. I think there are. and I think that that's not fun. That's not fun to me, but like should we have an open mind to that? No.

I mean, I think it sucks. I think it absolutely fucking sucks. The acceptable version of that is like if like your DM's like, hey, I'm going to have like a backstory moment with your character. Like is there something you would like, something you remember or like a detail or an object that you recall that you want me to include in that? Yeah, you're right. There are so many chances for that collaboration that you don't need to preempt the rules to create. A story. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, cool. All right, then we're gonna lean in hard against it. Yeah, I think the thing is, is that, like, once it gets into, like, real life drama and stuff, it's, like, how mad in real life can you get at someone who's, like, lying about dice rolls behind the screen or, like, basically doing, like, cut scenes? It's, like, annoying, and it makes me, like, think less of them as a DM, but ultimately, like, person to person, it doesn't really matter that much in, like, a real life context.

Sure. Well, none of this matters in real. None of this matters at all. Nothing really matters. Right. Yeah, nothing, literally, we're all going to die. Everyone's going to forget who we are eventually. Everyone needs to remember Bruce is in the garage.

So ultimately, that takes priority. That takes priority because if you open up the garage door, Bruce is going to get out. And Bruce can't survive in the wild. He's very pampered. And I've seen the outdoor cats. Some of them kind of look like Bruce. They'll pay the shit out. I certainly mix them off.

Yeah. Don't you guys feel like, though, unsending a message? I guess it's. technically not. I've never unsent a message unless I was like, oh, that's incorrect information. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. Because the idea of sending something embarrassing and then unsending it is like, well, now you're all just going to imagine something even more embarrassed. Sure. Oh, yeah. It looks worse. It looks worse than the real message. Streisand effect.

Yeah. Via text. All right. So obviously we're going to punish this DM. It's not allowed to be a lawyer anymore. I think that they should get a tattoo of their name unsent a message. Wow. I like that.

to. Wow. I would hate that tattoo. It really is so unsettling. It's a brand. It's such a mark of shame. It'd be so upsetting to see every day. Oh my God. Like a scarlet letter. Jesus Christ. I would take the black. Yeah. Send me to the wall. So and so unsent a message. And like, wow, you're that type. All right. That's good to know. I do, again, I do understand why the friendships fizzled out. Because again, this isn't something that if, this happened to me, I wouldn't be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But I would be like, you think this is fun? That makes me judge you so hard and think less of you. Yeah. You're not the person I thought. Yeah. Like, how am I ever going to like trust anything you say ever again? Yeah. Five levels of D&D down the drain. Yeah. It's unfortunate. Our next case comes from Captain General. Judges, I implore. I have a case in dire need of a wise and great ruling. We're busy. We're busy, sorry.

Do the next one. Sorry, we're tanning. We're tanning? I don't know. We're tantering. We're tanning. Yeah. That's when you lay in a tanning boat with Caldwell on top of me.

We're preparing letters. We're preparing leathers in a tanning booth. I heat you up. With Caldwell. Yeah, I'm there. I have an online group I have played with consistently for almost four years. I love them dearly and we play once a week. This sounds great.

So far so great. Let's leave it there. Skip it. Who fucked up and lied and unsent a message. Everyone loves to DM, so we currently rotate between three campaigns. Unfortunately, one campaign started almost three years ago and has been kind of rocky. It is centered around an adventuring college, and for almost the entirety of the three years, we did not go on a single adventure and had mostly slow role-playing sessions that included

an incredible amount of NPCs with almost 16 other students in our class, each of whom participated in every activity alongside the PCs. Whoa. Yeah. I want to quit, but I fear this will hurt my friend's feelings and irrevocably change the group's dynamics. As you guys may remember, there are two other campaigns going in the midst of the They continue.

Would I be wrong to quit or is my DM wrong for holding me hostage while roleplaying playing through actual literal school? Some additional campaign highlights, if you're so inclined, and we are. Multiple sessions of a homebook. sporting event in which we did not play. What? No. What?

Come on. What is this? No, no, no. At this point, you need to be paid for your labor. You need to be paid for your labor. This DM rocks. They are working on a book right now and they are playtesting everything by you. Could you fucking imagine being this confident?

Could you imagine having your friends come hang out your house and just listen to you, talk and play with yourself? I think. So masturbatory. just could you imagine going through life like that? Yeah, I think it's like a pathological level of confidence. Yeah, do you wake up every day and you're just like, I fucking rule? Like, this is awesome.

I got to get my friends here today. They got to hear, they got to hear episode. It's the second quarter of my own version of footage. I got a really good idea of the character development of my NPC. It's called Witchball. They put the ball inside of hats and they toss it around and the owls come out of the hats. And they carry the ball between the hoops. And here's a 14-page PDF of the rulebook.

Keep in mind, you won't get to play. You guys can take a dash action to buy popcorn to spectrum. Could be like cheer and like give advantage to one of the teams maybe? No, no. No, the different houses. Okay, so this is Snuggledorf. The crowd house to be neutral. This is Snuggledorf first squirm snake and you're not in either of those houses, okay?

All right. There's a storied history between Snuggledorf and a squirmie snake, okay? Can I investigate? play their game. So I know that there's like a litch like trying to invade the campus. Could I like look for clues while the game? Quiet. I'm going to roll to see if they can find the snotch. Yeah, okay. That's a three. They don't.

They don't find it. We need to go through all 16 students again. Only the snatcher can get the snots. This is a unique thing about snuggledorf is they have five snotchers. So that's going to take a long time but they already have increased their chances. The second Snuggledorf snotcher goes.

He rolls with a minus four because he has morning sickness. If you remember, his mother was sentenced to hell the other day in our last session with the Grinch. And so he's really sad. I know you guys didn't fight the Grinch because that was squirmy

snakes. How squirly snakes, water? But I'm pretty sure that he told you all about it and you should have been listening and did. Did you guys take notes? Because if you did, you know. Okay, 14 demerits to Gloof and Florep? Are we on Gloopin floor? No. No. No. You're on Gloof

Flimph. Okay? And you're suspended from school. So you're not actually not even in the scene if you could leave the room. This is all taking place in the past. You're watching it via a portal. Dude, you are watching your adopted dad play this game. I don't know what you're not understanding.

Okay, but he's a child, okay? But it's a different future than the one you're in. So you shouldn't know any of this information. All right. Let's see if your dad can find the snorch. That's an eight. He misses. Okay.

Your dad doesn't find the snorch. Okay. We had to go through your mom and all of your aunts now. Okay, I'm going to roll a random character death. Yeah. Then there are three other examples, one being a multiple hour session of an adventuring fair in which every single NPC presented. Jesus.

They leveled up once in a three-year period and role-playing through full class lectures during the class. When I used to do a thing called UCB, if someone wanted to do a one-person show, you would set it up and you would. you would just sell tickets to it and you could like just go do it by yourself. You could just do it and then you could invite your friends and they wouldn't know what they were getting into. Yeah, that's how Fleabag happened. It wasn't UCV but like Fleaback started as a one person show and then they made a cool TV series about it. So maybe they should just do Fleabag again. Yeah.

You deserve it. I think that. A hugely successful. Wait. What year did this question come in, Jake? Is this? Holy shit. Holy shit.

I just realized. I just read the Patreon username. It's Bebe Waller's Bridge. Actually, it worked out for you. Holy shit. Wow. Holy shit. Why are we giving you notes?

This is crazy. There's so much more successful than I was. I guess you just needed to work some things out before they made the hugely successful flea back. You know, yeah, you're right. Before you do the, here I was, because I didn't play D&D at the time. So I didn't realize that doing a one person show, you actually have to start by making

your friends sit through. Right. of campaign. Very bad Strick-Saving campaign. Because you can just play Strixhaven. It's there. There's a book that shows you how to do this. Well, to be fair, the book says,

the NPCs were playing Strix-Savon. The book says that there's 32 students in every class and you need to play each one. Oh, it does. I'm seeing the table right now. Can I suggest that I don't think you need to quit or stay. I think you could just say, I'm really busy and I'm going to stay in the two that I started first.

I think you could just, I guess it's a lot. You could lie. Could you maybe send a text to the group text and then and then on send it? Be like, hey, hey, does anyone think there's too many NPCs and, you know, we haven't gotten enough time to play and then you unsend it? Yeah.

But they can still read it because you edited it. You might just need to like tip that bullet. Whoops, meant to send that to someone else. Right. So they get the hint. Right. But they can't, yeah, they can't be that mad at you. It's actually brutal though,

because even if you are like, you don't officially quit, you just say, shit, work's gotten really busy. And then you're going to leave. And that means that the NPC to PC ratio is going to be even more. I wonder if I understand where you're at, where you're like, this will affect the friendship dynamic. Because I actually think it kind of might. I do think so. Yeah. So I think what you might want to do is just talk to them, but do like a compliment sandwich and do sort of like a, hey, love your world. I'm having so much fun. I would like to be a little bit more involved in it. Like a lot of times we're just watching stuff and I want to be participated in it. Yeah.

Because your world is so cool and your world is so awesome and everything. And I think I'd just like to be a little bit more involved. I think that you could try that. My fear is that we were joking about like, how do you have such an inflated sense of self that you can take up that much space? I think that those kind of people I've interacted with don't hear the constructive criticism. They only hear the compliment. They just eat the bread parts of the sandwich.

Yeah. Yeah, I was like, thanks. Yeah, no, the world's awesome. The world is awesome. Thank you. Yeah, but you can't really participate anymore because there's 16 students that also Thank you. I'm going to introduce.

I'm going to introduce the dark houses, which is each house has a mirror house, so that's going to be 16 more students. Whoa, I actually like that idea, though. It's kind of fun. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Can you guys play overnight, by the way? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so, yeah, I don't know. Try maybe broaching it a little bit. I wouldn't try because I also think it's a friendship ruining conversation. Sure. I don't even think that there's a way. The fact that you are like years deep into this too, you should have spoken up so much earlier. And the big risk is that there are other, there are two other games that you enjoy playing. So it's not like you're ruining a friendship and a game.

You might be ruining two good games and a friendship at the risk of one bad one. That's why I say you make up an excuse why you got to trim it down to two games instead of three. Yeah. Because we've had this in like real life like off. mic games and stuff where like you'll talk to like the other players and stuff being like hey can we stop like splitting up so much and everything because then it's just leading to like us watching each other play let's try to like be together a little bit more and stuff like that so like you can't have constructive conversations oh that's a good way to frame it that like maybe the

DM would hear if the players criticized each like a group critical I am telling you someone who's willing to play this many NPCs at the obvious discontent of their players is not going to hear any criticism. Watching a sporting event is so fucking funny. Does not believe it. It is so bad that it goes back around to me admiring the person. Okay.

So you don't want to punish them? No, I think they rule. Right. No, of course we have to punish them. I mean, you can say, like, I know them. We just wish we had that confidence. I wish I had that, yeah, I wish I could go about every day being like, holy shit. I do wish I could taste that confidence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess you only want a little bit of it because then. secretly your friends are writing in a D&D court. Yeah, because I clock this kind of confidence on other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like to say that you knew Phoebe Waller Bridge. She was running a very bad D&D camp. There's some like street cred to that.

Yeah, okay. All right. So obviously, obviously we're punishing this DM. Yes. This is. I think so. This is absurd. Yeah.

This is a lot. I really, honestly, I think that you just quietly deprioritizing this game is going to be punishment enough because that's just one less audience for whatever the fuck they're working out. I think, yeah, it's really funny that we're giving this person the advice to lie, but I do think that's probably the best way to deal with this is to just tell a white lie and be like, ah, Tuesdays are bad for me and that's magic school night. I've got to miss it. Sorry, gang. You know, it's almost technically not even a lie if you say, I'm too busy for this campaign. You don't have to say why you're too busy. Yeah, take up

Take up volleyball or something. Or like take up a fake sport that you don't actually do. Just be like, I play an immoral volleyball. Well, see, now that's adding a lie. The lie has become more difficult. Now next time people see you. No, no, no, no. Let's lean in.

Let's lean in. Yeah. I think you should have to pick up volleyball. You start tracking like AAA baseball scores. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm involved with AAA baseball. Oh, yeah. So then I think you joined a team, but you did it.

Or what if you just started a quiz night at like your local bar? Same night. on the same night. And then you're like, shit, but then you actually can meet a bunch of new people. Yeah, that's really good. Oh, yeah,

and then you get started a new D&D group with people with Gnart Maniacs. And you can take the other two players that seem to be normal too. So we have unfortunately tasked you with punishing the DM here. Okay, but then the DM, okay, DM, I'm with Caldwell, just run Strixhaven,

take the book and just take it. You just have to you. No, I think they should run exactly word for word what you guys said. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. The Snonch. The Snonch.

The snorch? Yeah. Okay. We sentenced the DM to find the snorch. I think the word for it has changed three times. Oh, that's part of the rule. Yeah, yeah. That's part of the rules, yeah.

Because if you say the previous name, then it speeds away from it. Sure, sure, sure. There's a memory component to it. Because you're watching this all through a memory in the past. Yeah. Yeah. Godspeed. Pass get back.

So ordered. Hey, everybody. Emily here to talk to you about Raycon. This message is sponsored by Raycon. Spring is on the way and it's time to refresh your routine. Whether you're going on daily walks, running errands, or just getting some fresh air, isn't it nice to bring your favorite podcasts and music along with you? Well, that's where Raycon comes in. With Raycon's essential open earbuds, you can listen to music or podcasts while still hearing what's happening around you. Regular earbuds block out every. You can't hear someone calling your name, a car honking, anything.

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website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you were just starting out or maybe scaling your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place, baby. You know they have cutting edge design with Squarespace's collection of gorgeous design tools. Anyone can build a beautiful, professional, online presence that perfectly fits your brand or your business. Plus, don't forget about their SEO tools. Get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto-generated site map, and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more

of your ideal customers. Beautiful. So head on over to Squarespace.com slash pawpaw for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code, Paupaw to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain that is Squarespace.com slash paupaw. Squarespace. Thanks, everybody. Our next case comes from extremely high elf to the court whoever presides. Sick. I'm running a campaign based largely on the works of Green,

day specifically using part of the narrative of American idiot as a base for the lore in the world. Interesting. I've asked my players to listen to the album at least once for preparation and get the general vibe of the story. That's cool. Most players have done this, but one hasn't, saying, quote, it's a lot to ask. Am I crazy? Okay.

I'm going to say this is, my instinct is like, no, you're not crazy. is it's deeply unfair because when other DMs have given lore documents and ask people to read them, I'm like, that can be too much. We can't expect every player to want to do that. But here I'm like, yeah, you could listen to American Idiot. What's a big deal? Yeah. I only think it's a little crazy because I think this person has probably listened to like at least three or four songs from American Idiot already. So like you've heard American Idiot. Yeah. No, I mean, my gut is like just listen to the fucking album. Yeah. Yeah. 57 minutes, 14 seconds. long like you can just get through that in a day but if you don't it's a rock

yeah if you don't like that music though sure I like Green Day yeah especially dukey yeah but like if someone was said go listen to this cold play album I'd be like I would rather be cold and dead in the ground thank you very much really I'd rather be cold and not play that album yeah I mean it's on your iPod already it's already on there. So if you can just listen to it. Does it come preloaded? Comes preloaded.

You're thinking of you. You're thinking of you two. Oh, you're right. Wait. Yeah, you're right. I am. I feel like. Take the tiny out.

It's the same guy. No, no. Cut this. You have a chance. Same vibe. I think begging for it to be cut makes it a big out. Imagine though, no, but that's a good example. Imagine if your DM was like, listen to the iPod U2 album.

I'd be like. Yeah. It becomes a bigger deal as soon as I don't like the band. Sure. When I'm thinking about American Idiot, I'm like, yeah, I could listen to that album again. I'm like, I like American Idiot, yeah. Right. Do you know, sometimes I think this is a terrible thing to admit, sometimes when a friend is like,

oh my God, you've got to read this or you've got to listen to this. Sometimes it feels almost like, okay, I got to do this before the next time I see them. And then it's like, it becomes a little bit of a chore. Yeah. Even if I am genuinely curious. And then you don't see that friend for a decade. You lose touch. You never talk about because I haven't listened to it yet because every time I sit down to listen,

I'm like, I don't feel like doing a chore. I still have my friend's copy of The Jerk on DVD that I've been meaning to watch. I know it's a good movie. I just have never seen it. Heard in 1999. I can't see him again until I watch the jerk. It's a weird. It's a little bit of a catch-22, right?

Because it's definitely not a huge lift. It's definitely not a big ask. But I think it's maybe wrong to be mad about it. Like I think you almost, you've opened Pandora's box a little bit because I think you should have never asked if like to follow up. You know what I mean? Right. That's a weird thing.

Like, because I think it's not a lot to ask. This person's saying it's a lot to ask. I don't think it's a lot to ask. Yeah. But I also don't think it's unreasonable for them to not do it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like if I, I mean, if I sent out a lure email for a casual campaign where all of us are just like hanging. Like, if it's in, if it's for this show and I send out a little email and people are like, I didn't read it.

I'd be like, dude, it is your fucking job. It's your actual job. have to know, like, where your character is from, wherever it's your actual job. But if I'm playing, it's a lot to ask. Too long didn't read. Yeah, you just just want to be TLTNR. Can you give me the cliff notes, man? That email was a page and a half.

No, but like that, that is actually rude. But like, in real life, if I write, like, here's the background of this, like, city that you guys are in. Yeah. And someone's like, look, man, I've got three kids. I just want to play a guy who swings a sword. I'm like, all right, man, welcome. We'll talk about it as we go.

I think it's like you're creating a fun world and a couple people listened. If a couple people are reflecting that world, then everyone else is going to fall into line. So I think it is a fun prompt for the people who want to engage with it. And maybe it's fine if one person doesn't. I think so I understand this. And this is like a problem with just like having interest in putting yourself out there. Sometimes you're like, I really like this. I want to share with my friends.

But then like the sting of them not like. Likeing something is so, can be so painful and harsh that like, it just makes you never want to do that again. But I think like the solution here might be like, if this is not their type of music, that's fair. But like, call them up on the phone and just like info dump to them. Give it to them in like 20 minutes beyond like, here's everything you need to know. This is why I'm excited about it. Give them the pitch. Don't make them listen to it.

Just give them the pitch so they've got the cliff notes that they need to like play in the campaign. Because friends don't have to like the same things all the time. They can be different. That's what makes people, people. And I think it's totally fine just to like get them through it so that they can be caught up in time to play. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

But I also think that like I think that, you know, if it's a casual thing that I think you're worried this person isn't going to play in the campaign, but they're going to show up. You're going to do a little intro. A couple people at the table are kind of in the world already. They're going to pick it up in the moment. And maybe that's what they have time to engage with. You just tell them about the central character Jesus of Suburbia, an acting hero created by Billy Joe Armstrong. It's written from his perspective. he's an American teen raised on a diet of soda pop and riddlin.

Jesus of Suburbia hates his hometown and those close to him so he leaves for the city. There you go. There you go. Wow. All right. Caldwell just did it. Yeah. That's good.

And we all get the vibe. Yeah. You could just clip. You could just clip that. Just clip Caldwell saying that with like some guitar underneath. And again, like this is not a huge ask. So for you to be like, hey, it's based on this album. So like you put that out there.

But it's kind of weird to follow up on it. And then this person is a jerk for because it's not a big. ask. So to just respond to be like, it's a big ask. You know what? You're right. That response is rude. But if the person was like, yo, I hate this type of music. I'm so busy. Please don't make me listen to this. Because it is really hard to, I love pop punk. Some people are fucking haters. Like I've been, I recently was in like a long car ride with a jam band guy. And it was like non-negotiable some bands that like were not allowed to be played. That like, it was like, It was like, okay, we got to find some mid.

Well, let's just do some like Springsteen or something. Like, let's do classic rock. From someone who knew jam band people in high school, that is not par for the chorus. Jam band people were very open by the way. Yeah. And I'm not saying, I'm not saying all jam band people. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying it's a very different vibe from pop punk though.

So if you're a pop punk person, you very well might not be like a jam band person. Okay. So what do we even sentence in this, though? Actually, I think I would feel comfortable sentencing the person. because their response was this is too big of an ask, which is like a bit extreme. But I do think that like, I do think it's fine if if they decide to just show up and earnestly engage with the vibe as it is unfolds to that. You know what?

The question that extremely high elf asked at the end is, am I crazy? I think the answer is no. The answer is no. You're not crazy. That is a really rude response. I think that person has no obligation to listen to American idiot as good as it is. But I think the response is not. Nice.

Yeah. I think there were ways that they could have responded that would have been like, oh yeah, that's fair. You don't have to listen to it. You just lie. You say like, okay, cool, I'll check it out. And then you read the Wikipedia. Yeah, exactly. It's so easy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I won't say it is. The real response is to be like, yeah, I'll check it out. And then you don't or you like play three songs, skip, skip, skip, skip, wake me up when September ends. Right.

Right. You're set. Yeah. All right. We're fine. And that's, and that's, like, you just make a cleric who is waiting for September to end. and that's like your religion. She's like,

September shall end and we shall be free. So I think we've talked through this and this was weirdly more complicated than I thought it was going to be. But ultimately this person being rude, I think, seals it. Because there is a world where this person just says

I really don't like this type of music. Or they say like, I just don't really have time but I'm excited to show up when we play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't be rude. Listening to, I mean, it's tough. Like, in today's attention economy, I've been trying consciously

to be like, I'm going to listen to full albums and not just like bounce around. And even with artists that I like sitting there and I'm like, oh, what is it going to be over? And I'm like on song thought. Yeah, all the time. Just like, my brain is fucking toast. Dude, I get you. There's a new guerrillas album and there's a lot of like ambient stuff on there. And I love it.

But it's just like, it's tough sometimes. Yeah. Like when you're like, because I was playing it in the car with someone, I'm like, oh, new guerrillas album. Let's check it out. And then there's just kind of like a low hum of ambience for like a minute. And it's just like, all right. Okay.

In the car with someone is not the moment to listen to any. Give me my Brian Eno in headphones by myself. Right. You need the egg chair. Yeah. God, I wish I had an egg chair. Damn, that's a good call. Even for just like looking at text, I wish I had an egg chair to get in.

Do you guys know what I'm talking about when I say? I know what I'm saying. Like Dr. Evil? Kind of a Dr. Evil chair. It's kind of like that 50s futurism. Yeah. All right. So we're punishing the player.

Okay. Let's just punish them to listen to three songs and get a general idea. I want to punish them to like show up in a in like a black shirt and a red tie with eye makeup like Yeah Yeah, Real early 2000's green day You need to bring back the wearing a tie with a short With a short shirt

That was the best era of punk Oh my God Long shorts and a tie Dude if you think I wasn't wearing converses with jeans and wearing a tie Then you're fucking crazy Wow This person needs to bring that back.

Yeah. Because honestly, it needs to be that. Yeah, maybe it just ties in general. Maybe it was it were the odds just good for ties?

I guess so. The Avrilavine effect. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good tie. It was sort of like, you know, counterculture while still

like, you know, getting the fun of the fashion. Okay. So let's just sentence them to a year earnestly trying to bring back ties in a casual Yeah.

And they can listen to sugar cult start static. They can listen to Avrilavine, whatever the album with complicated. on it is and skater boy and who else wore ties.

Didn't the Derek from Sum 41 wear a time? Well, when they became the sums, I feel like they wore ties a lot. Oh, that's true. Oh, that was for that one song. Is this infected, I believe is what that album was. So you can listen to Is This Infected. Okay. There's a lot of good tie cases out there.

Right, yeah. So take your pick. All right, enjoy. Let us know how it goes. Our next case. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.

I know I will. Our next case comes from James to the delightfully chaotic justice and the bailiff James, who has the same name as me. Wow. I don't. No, really? Yeah, my name is Jake. I bring to you, yeah, Jake.

Just take the L, dude. It's James. Take the Big J. I bring to you the case of the BVEG romance. I was playing in a campaign where our characters were fighting a shapeshifting evil wizard. Our DM would use his abilities to pop up every now and then as we had ventured. In one case, our bard expressed interest in our BBEG's disguised persona,

an interest that only increased when they revealed themselves as the BBEG. Us players then began to joke that they should seduce the BVEG, much to our DM's annoyance. This led to our final confrontation with them, where us players decided to send the Bard in first and the rest of us would attack while they are distracted. Our DM told us only a Nat 20 on disadvantage would work, But we stuck to the plan. Lo and behold, Dice Christ smiled on us and gave us two Nat 20s.

Fucking rocks. Us players were so excited while the DM begrudgingly narrated how the Bard led the BBEG to another room. However, because we took so long celebrating, the DM argued that the BBEG saw through the ruse and we did not get our surprise round. We honestly were so happy that it succeeded that we didn't care. But almighty judges, should we have been given our agreed surprise round for the successful seduction. It'd be one thing if the players were like, they want to like bypass the whole fight,

but just to be like, we just want to set him up and distract him. Yeah. Like even just getting a Nat 20 on like a previously established character that has a relationship. Do you know, I think the DM just shouldn't have offered it as an option. Yeah, we've said this before. Sure. Like, don't offer a role if you don't want it to happen. Yeah. But also like I can see the reasoning of being like this just like this guy's about to. fight. He's not going to be. It's like impossible to seduce right now. If you made that argument, I would be like, fair. But they thought that they were making it impossible. But once it's possible, you got to go with it. Every once in a while, a DM just needs to be like, do you want me to

graphically describe you fucking this dragon? Is that what we want? Is that what we want today to be? Don't ask that question. That is one of that question. I guess that's how our podcast started. These people are trying to get a surprise round. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, to me, that's what makes this okay. It's like they just want like one surprise round. And like they, it wasn't like it came out of nowhere. Like there was like a pre-established connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like just for like one surprise round, like rolling two net 20s on disadvantage. I feel like that's fair. I feel like that's certainly within the realm of possibility. If I'm the DM, I'm like that role just changed what's going on with a BBEG. Like they have, you remind them of a lover. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The person who broke their heart that

led them down this dark path. You couldn't even be like that. You couldn't even be like that. Yeah, they're shape-shifting bad guy. Like, clearly they've got, they're running from something. Like, they don't have a true face. They don't have a true personality. And this bard is bringing that out for them. Yeah, you didn't even need to, like, bring them to another room or anything like that. You could have just been like, they look at you.

And, like, there's a moment of hesitation as the rest of the party springs out and attacks them. You know, it can be like the slightest little thing. He pulls out his giant Sephiroth sword, but stops. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You remind him of Genova. Wow.

Yeah, I think, you're right. Like, it could be, like, it doesn't even need to be a successful seduction. It could just be that, like, they were distracting enough to get a surprise. Yeah, you don't need to narrate him getting his dick stuck in his zipper. But you can. What you can. Oh. Oh, my nuts.

They're caught in the teeth. They're caught in the zipper teeth. That's what you call in his teeth. The teeth. I can't ship, chip, chip down away. Oh, my God. No matter how many. Giving forms and shape

When the balls are still sticking the fucking That's how shaped it works. I can turn it to whatever I want with my balls It'll still feel. The genes keep changing size With some of my balls It comes from my nuts And that's where the cup comes from

It makes sense if you think about it Because my sperm is in there And that creates life Stim cells and see my balls How did you know my power was in my nuts? You knew Was that? that unlistenable

I'm just dead Honestly that's your DM should just start doing this and just ruin their own campaigns to punish their players and just be like Fine you want us to do some He rips his nuts off

As he tries So it was so good He tries to take his dick out And he rips his balls Oh Hey two balls What was a backup Between fucking balls

Shit I moved so fast I twisted them Have you ever heard of Nutless? I'm not list I'm not list. I'm booking to single a

$200, help, help. I need a specialist. You castrated me. Urgent care isn't enough. Go to my fridge. The doctor's numbers on me. This has happened before. I have the guy for this.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, again. I think we got to punish the DM because they set up. set up something. They said something. There's a million ways out of this. Like, of course there's the old your nuts get chopped off by your zipper.

Right. It's right there. It's in the DM's guide. It's right there. That one's in Xanatharas. Yeah. That one's on our DM screen. Right.

And that's in our shop now. Oh, fuck. Yeah, just anyone wants to use that. Yeah. If, like, your player tries to seduce one of your characters and you Don't know what to do because you still want to have a fight. Right.

You just have like their pubs or their junk get caught in the zipper. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You want my pubs? No. Yeah. They're braided.

Oh, they're ripping out one by one. Yeah. You say, okay, I'll have sex with you. And then you unzip too fast and it catches their pubs. You unzip yourself. Yeah. Fallen onto the floor. Okay, okay.

So we're sentencing the DM. We're sentencing the DM to create a, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, describe this. Yeah. Like, yeah. In the future. They have to make a

genital-based mishap table. Yeah. Oh, mishap. Yeah. All right. You successfully seduce them.

Roll in the zipper mishap. It's a D-100. Yeah. There's so many options. I just prep anything else. There's no, there's no like 10 through 20 or anything like that. It's literally one is something,

two is something, three, something, four, something. 17 to something. It's all your genitals getting hurt with your zippers

getting taken off. Or like a fleece and it like rips your nipple. Yeah. Like yeah. Wow. Yeah. So any kind of zipper can like fuck up your ariolas. Yeah.

Your butthole or your genitals. Or your peeps. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Take your pick. Listen to your pick and make a zipper at a misapp table. Good luck.

Yeah. And enjoy. Our next case comes from Gary J. to the most high rolling, hey Gary. Hi Gary. Gary. Hello. Sorry. I'm just trying to make him feel welcome.

And he does. To the most high rolling justices and the bailiff who is medium at mid. I play with the group and we are now at the point the DM has told us that we are going to be doing a level reset from 12 to level one. This is because his game, and I quote him, has no plot and is never going to end. and the average scenario is too easy for a level 13 player. Huh. I understand some people truly enjoy these types of games, but I let him know on level reset,

I would step away from the table, as I don't want to be in a game where we never have an ability to advance a story or play along to. I think that reasoning is a little deflating. This was in the same sitting where he told us the plan. So three other players also decided to leave. And the DM blames me for this. suggesting that I shouldn't have told him this in front of them.

I ask the justices, should I have stuck around and been level squished? Or was I right to reply in the same sitting, I had no interest in a game with no overall plot and no ability to get past level 12 without some kind of logical reason for the level squish? I think this person, like, they really didn't try to sell it. Like, I think there's a lot of fun reasons to get de-leveled. But this, but a meta reason of I don't have any plot is not, the most thrilling.

But are they saying, is this a reboot? Are they saying I did a bad job DMing this campaign and I just need a restart like this has no plot now? That was, that's my reading on it. My reading was like, hey, this story has no plot. So there's no reason to go to 13 because it'll be too easy. We're just going to restart and do the same thing. Which, I mean, that was the read I got.

I can certainly commiserate with a DM that's given their players too much stuff and it does feel too easy, but I feel like that's, that's on the DM shoulders to just like find new stuff to throw at them. But getting, but also getting de-leveled for a reason or getting de-leveled just to have new challenge. Like, getting de-leveled isn't like bad. It's getting de-leveled by someone who's like, I'm just going to de-level you guys because like I don't really want to come up with something else. That's not good. You don't want to hear that. Yeah. Yeah. It's something that needs to be discussed ahead of time. It's kind of interesting that the DM is like, you shouldn't have told me anything during the session where I told you, like, that's exactly the point when you should.

Yeah. You wouldn't have had this conversation in front of everyone had you floated it beforehand. Like with Trinnyvale specifically, we talked about like, okay, we're going to be doing Straud. Obviously, you guys all starting as level 15 or something isn't going to work, so we're going to de-level. Yeah. And when we do live shows, we had the band of boobs not at level 20, but we discussed ahead

of time, you guys will be like level 12, so we'll have a bunch of abilities and everything, but like you're not going to be gods. because it's like Dragon Ball Z Tree of Might where it's just like we're all randomly hanging out. Everything goes back to Dragon Ball Z movies. Exactly. And that's why we've sent out a PDF which has links to all of the Dragon Ball Z movies.

Before you listen to the next Dunge Court, you are going to need to watch all five of them. We'll be checking up. And listen to Nimrod. Specifically the Green Day album Nimrod. That's a good one. I think that they're mad that the players left, the other players left,

but I think that you guys all left at the same moment, Whereas if you had left, then the next session, they would have showed up and been like, oh, where's the other person? Oh, they're not here. Oh, that's an option. I'm maybe just going to leave too. Yeah. It's going to fall apart either way. This is tough, though, because is it kind of, I mean, there's no good way to go about that because you either have to sit and play a bad session or you have to like go sit at the table and be like, oh, I don't like what you're doing and then stand up and leave, which seems like a little bit harsh.

You got a dead poet society yet. But I think, yeah, you could be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's talk about this. I think that would have been better. It seems like this whole thing like came to a head and maybe it didn't need to. Like maybe you didn't have to say, if you do that, then I'm leaving, like toss out an ultimatum. Maybe you could have been like, well, let's figure out how we can make there be story and plot. Yeah, you're right. Maybe you could have just said like, hey, I'm cool with going down to level one.

But I do want like a continuous plot that we're kind of building together. Yeah. Yeah. For some reason, I don't know. I guess I was trying to get a generous read because I do understand. I remember the first game that I ever DMed is a home game. Like, it does get kind of like convoluted at a certain point because you're literally learning as you're going along. And so there were definitely times where I was like, man, it would be easier if we all just started over. And I could just take back with what I knew. But I think in that case, you probably want to just be like, let's just start a new campaign. And so. But by the way, if If your generous read is correct, then I would agree with you that like... To start a new one. Yeah. Yeah. Or that it's at least normal to be like, let's go back to level one so we can start fresh. Yeah.

Yeah. Because my next campaign is going to have stakes. But if they're saying like, this thing's never going to have any stakes, then I think that's kind of... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. The read I got was just like, I'm not interested in taking it past level 13.

Yeah. And I think there's ways you could say that that feel less like, okay, I, like deflating, like I said. Yeah. You could just be like, I'm not built for this of... making fights with like level 15 characters. Like it is pretty goddamn involved. So you could just at the DM I think could have done this better and just been like, look, I got to run low level adventures.

This is just kind of how it has to be. I can't deal with like. Or just say that this one's going to end at level 13. Yeah, they go. And then you guys are leveling up for the last like we're near an end game. And there hasn't been a ton of plot, but it's going to end soon. And then we're going to start a new campaign. I think in that case, I think it's like totally fair.

If everyone's on board with that to be like, right, we're going to, like, do, like, a quick narration of, like, some of the stuff that happens, and then we're going to, like, set up the end game. Like, if everyone's, like, cool with that, but it is tricky because, like, if everyone is enjoying kind of, like, fucking around and being level 12, then, like, I don't know, maybe you've just got, like, two different points of view here. I think also, like, if it's that easy to shed players, then, like, it just, maybe it just wasn't a game that was super working for everyone.

Like, because, like, you know, I don't think that you saying I'm not going to do it caused them. They probably already had some maybe reservations. Yeah, this DM had some major fuck-ups. People are just going to be bummed if you don't bring up the de-leveling. And if you want to do a new campaign, just do a fucking new campaign. Yeah. And then the biggest one is just not having talked to people beforehand.

So that part is like, we really got to come down on them. So you're going to need to listen to Nimrod and warning. And whatever comes after American Idiot. Probably, and you're going to want to watch that new Dragon Ball Z movie with Broly. There you go. You got to check out the Broly. movie. Okay. So that's three albums in one movie.

Yeah. Yeah. Is that too much to ask? That's a huge ask. That's like a full Sunday. That's like you're, it's fucking awesome. It actually does sound pretty safe. Yeah.

Let's do that for Mix Bag. I'm sorry that you are going to need to drink two and a half beers as well. Is that too much to ask? I know. Now that's just the right amount to ask. Okay. So ordered. And with that, let's step in.

into church for a confession. Please. Okay. Bogbody writes. Hi, Bobbody. Yes, sir. Dearest deacons of the dodecahedron, I come seeking absolution for my wizard who is alive when she should be dead.

I was unconscious with a failed death save when a boss we were fighting was killed. It was a full round before I could be stabilized. And on my turn, that round, I rolled in that one for my death save, killing me instantly. In sadness, I said to my partner, who played a man. a fighter with a magic item granting him one portent roll per day that it was too bad he hadn't used his port and roll. On hearing this, the DM said that he would allow it, despite me having already rolled. Deacons, the port and roll was a four, and I see no universe in which the fighter would have used a portent role to make me fail a death safe. However, I did not bring this up at

the table and have felt wretched ever since. Is my wizard cursed forever to live a half-life? Okay, so I will say you're good. The DM said that they would allow this. And also like your wizard still needed to be saved, right? Because the four slides in and then you just get one failed death save instead of two. Yeah. So you're still knocked out and someone has to come help you. Right.

That as far as like moving the rules around and everything, I think you could have maybe had them have to do a roll forward or something for like that to be like a very minor. divine intervention or something like that. But in the world of like, I don't know, like sort of bending the rules or having like cool narrative moments, I think like having someone sitting there choking on blood instead of being dead is like not the hugest. Yeah. Like putting your finger on the scale.

Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. It's not like a full intervention. It's just like a half chance that you still have to make good on. I think it's kind of normal to be like, oh shit, actually could I have used this? Yeah.

You know, like I think that that's kind of normal for this little game. Do you have to do it ahead of? Do you have to do it before? I'm guessing. Maybe is that the new rules? Because in the past it said you have to do it before. I don't know if they changed it for 2024, but like the ones I'm looking at now, so you must choose to do so before the role.

Got you. Replace a role in one way, only once per turn. I remember in the past not needing to do that, but I don't know. Yeah. We also might have just been playing fast and loose because that's how I would rule it. No, but that's when we played with a divination. wizard or whatever and it was always like in dementia 20 yeah and it was always like after the role yeah yeah so it must have just been that at some point yeah but i think if you were look i think that you can sleep easy because

this was like a table decision the dm was on board and the ultimately like it was still a good story if you really felt bad though i think that you could be like um go to the dm and say like i feel bad about that you could find out that like you had to like tap into like a cursed god to like twist time a little bit and then maybe you just for the rest of the campaign only have two death saves. Or become a necromancer or something like that. Like when you class yourself, like you touch death or something like that. There's like cool story stuff to do here. And as far as we know, and there's literally no way of knowing, we think this is probably

fine in 2014 rules. So like, I think this is just cool. Yeah. And ultimately we get way more egregious sins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we really do. usually from people who are deeply unrepentant.

We usually get someone who's like, what's up, fuck, faces. I lied about it. It was awesome. Fuck, Jake. It was awesome. I hate you all. Never watch the show.

Yeah. Yeah, I got to say Bruce is fully out of the garage. Yeah, you're good. Bruce isn't in the garage right now. And I mean that in the good way. He's in the house. Not the bad way. He's outside.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're good. You know what? Have a croissant on us. Hey, wow. Yeah. Look at that's right.

Yeah. Enjoy it. I mean, we're not actually going to give you the croissant, but like just have it knowing that we want you to have it. That we want you to have it. Yeah. Right. Just picture us like winking across the counter when the server hands you your croissant. As we hand you a croissant.

As long as the DM. All four of us winking in unison. If the DM. With little halos around our head. We're very small. So it looks like we've died. Yeah. Unless the DM is colluding and sending text messages, making the campaign horrible

generally if the DM makes a ruling at the table, you're not the one that has to feel bad about it. Like you're allowed to just be like, cool. And hey, it was just a Portsnet roll. It sounds, oh, it was a four. Got it. Oh, right, right, right. Because it wasn't a re-roll.

Yeah. But 2014 rules as far as we know, and there's no way of knowing. There's no way of knowing. There's no way of knowing. There's no way of knowing. It's two books. It's two different books.

Yeah. Who knows. We threw away our 2014 books. Yeah. And we don't have the internet. Yeah. So how can we find out? I only have Broly on my computer.

It's just a Broly machine now. He just has Broly downloaded on iTunes, which he did years ago when he still had the internet. Thank you. It doesn't happen anymore. All right. With that, we're going to wrap it up. Thank you all so much for listening. We are going to be over on our Patreon.

Patreon. Patreon.com slash Navpod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. Don't see yet. Don't do it. Don't do it. Doing some bonus cases, maybe some more act-outs about getting our nuts stuck in zippers. We'll find out.

We've got to run on the mishap again. Yeah, 45 minutes of that, actually. We've got some shows coming up. We are going to be at Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Australia on March 16th. And then, of course, we're going to be at Radio City Music Hall in New York on April 10th. Be on the lookout for that. Those tickets are available at nadpod.com slash live. My friend who is in New York pointed at the sign.

He sent me a text. Our name is on the sign at Radio City. Whoa. What? That's really fucking cool. and cool. Yeah. It says it's not another D&D Pong cast though.

Oh, okay. So somebody else, like a Pong. I think it is actually a simple. They didn't know the word podcast, but they need it. It's someone who recreates,

it's a really talented YouTuber who recreates all of our episodes but with Pong sound effects and like your original Pong. So it's just like, sort of a Marty Supreme thing. Yeah. It's so,

it's so Marty Supreme. You can follow us on social media that we're not use. as you're first me at Colty Skaldol Is Marty a girl to dream really about Pong? It's about ping pong

Oh, okay, okay But it's not about the Atari game I don't think so But based on the time period I don't think Pong has come out yet But maybe, I haven't seen the movie And Daddy Xeroid is Emily And you can talk about the show online

Using hashtag Nat Poppontad Pong might exist It might be like in development During the movie But I don't think it comes up as a plot point NADDD POD We are We are

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Until then, this is Caldwell, saying be well and farewell. Bye-bye. That was a hate gum podcast.