Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Psychic Kittens and Abyssal Chickens

Episode Date: January 28, 2022

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and the newly appointed Justice Hurwitz, as well as the Generous and Benevolent Bailiff Axford as they pass judgement on your trials at the table. CREDITS:Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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First up, campaign three will begin on Thursday, February 10th. Oh yeah, get excited. We have already recorded a few apps for it and it is sounding great. We're still going to be doing three episodes in February, but we'll be taking the first week off instead of the last week. The first Thursday of February will be a dark week for the main feed, but the Patreon will be getting a live show. For a full look at our early campaign three schedule, visit our Patreon, which is patreon.com

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nadpod.com slash bookfar. Okay. Announcements over. It is time for dungeon court to begin Don't don't We are doing something a little different this week we've done this before but we're gonna go ahead and ask Baylor Jake to come up here and join. Wow. I see all of us sending the steps.

Yeah, I can see why you guys think my chair is small. From up here, it looks really tiny. We did, yeah, we sort of shaved down the legs a little bit. I see. We're also employing like a false perspective thing. Like a Lord of the Rings, so your chair just looks really tiny. Super making it, you're using perspective and also making it smaller. Yeah, like Lord of the Rings. So your chair just looks really high. It's super make it, you're using perspective

and also making it smaller. Yeah, it's double-swoop. And I'm also gonna just trigger a trap door in the floor of my huge justice see and just take a secret tunnel to the Baylift chair. Whoa. Oh, that's right. Emily is collected to the cases this way.

This is also an episode of the hit reality show bail of swap You like fall through the trap door leaving your robe and I jump into it. Yeah, yeah, and then I'm naked. Oh my god Oh That's my that's my costume as well as well. Baker is a botanist, Speedo. I ascended the bench, Nude. I think it's time to say, here you are. You are now in session.

Justice is Tanner Murphy and her which presiding and I am of course your uncomfortably naked bailout. Oh my God. It feels nice to hear my name so I'm like that. And I am of course you're uncomfortably naked bailout Pack up my god Feels nice to hear my name so They called those brought a gavill I did bring a gavill How from home? I asked the bailiff to get me one but apparently he's up here now. Yeah, man. That's not my job

I can't even get clothes What do you want me to do? I can't even get clothes. So I wouldn't be able to carry it. Everybody wanted to do. I can't go into a store. They'll tackle me. Okay, our first case comes from Alissa G. May I please the court and the all-in-all unassuming bail-up

I present to you the case of the Abyssal Chicken. Recently, I DM'd descent into a vernis for a group of friends. Our wizard was very interested in the world building and did a lot of spoiler-free research before the campaign began. He became especially interested in Abyssal chickens. Am I saying that correctly? Yeah, I was like, of the Abys.

I informed him that he could actually summon one as a familiar using a spell and he became obsessed with the idea. He changed some of his character's personality to fit with his plans and changed out his spells to stock find familiar. However, the rest of the party absolutely hates abyssal chickens.

They were sick of our wizard constantly talking about them and many of their characters' backstories included the hatred of demons. As soon as our wizard summoned the abyssal chicken, the party began demanding to attack it, and I allowed it, over wow. Eventually, they killed it and celebrated the victory while our wizard sat to check it.

Oh. So I asked you merciful count. Was I in the wrong? Should I have stood up for our wizard or even not told him about abyssal chickens in the first place? Should the players have been not so cruel to our wizard? I await your all-powerful judgment. Murph, you've descended into a furnace before. That's true. Yeah. So, yeah. Did a Bissell chicken stand out to you in your personal? I'm really confused as to if this is actually

a part of the lore of Bissell chickens. I assume it's just a demonic chicken. And you've got the laptop hold up. We're all in person. This is rare. Yeah. Usually we're all on our computer, so we can just like look at these things.

Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a Bissell Chicken stats and they are fleshy. Oh really? A Bissell chickens were small creatures. They had leather wings, but we're not capable of sustained flight. Their wings were folded above them, giving them a tear-shaped appearance.

A Bissell chicken's primary form of locomotion were their two large legs which ended in feet resembling those of a regular chicken. I'm going to say two things. They sound cute and fun and also I do want to eat one. Yeah. Wait, is this on official D&D stuff? Or is this forgotten or old?

Yeah, I think so. Okay, so if the Abistle Chicken is a real thing and also it's like... Then there's also on D&D beyond there is a Discussion is the abyssal chicken the best familiar whoa Okay, so this is a party with the board Yeah, first I was like okay, this is so it ends with a Viva lot of bistle chicken This was made by that player picture just so you all know This was made by that player. It is a picture just so you all know.

Oh, I've seen those. Oh my god. Those are cool. Do you still want to eat one? I think I could do it in a Bissell chicken salad, but I wouldn't want a patty. If you tried to cook it, it would not cook. It looks like it's always raw.

Not cooked, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't take a sear. It looks so raw. I'm with raw chicken. I would say at first I was like, you know what? We tend to have cute familiarists a lot of times. The familiar stuff is kind of where you can get silly because it's like, you got a little animal buddy

coming along. So even though I tend to not be the silliest of players, I like a silly player. For me, I was like, let's lose. I'm a loser. I think a familiar is a great way to add a little fun to your campaign. It is true that I'm looking at that picture and that thing definitely makes a noise like yeah, for sure. But it sounds like maybe this wizard was like talking a

lot about the abyssal chicken it definitely seems like there was it was incessant yeah okay but but is could that hypothetically again a lot of dnd core we just are exploring ideas yeah right exploring the idea is that that perhaps acute character trait? Yeah, like there's anybody. There you are, you're an in a furnace, and you're like, I've always wanted to see one. And we also must remember, this was co-signed by the DM. Yeah.

This is like, oh, try this familiar, and it could feel a little bit like a trap. I was like, oh yeah, this is your familiar, cool. Oh, everybody wants to kill it. Yeah, you guys could do that, go ahead. Yeah, that's fine. It's a little, it's all like, it seems like this it. Yeah, you guys could do that. Yeah, that's fine. It's a little it's it's all like It seems like this wizard was excited did a bunch of research found this abyssal chicken. Yeah, it's all above board

They're excited. They were excited. It sounds like they're excited about everything now Right about it like they looked into the stuff that's how they found it and also it's like kind of like bullshit meta gaming That's the other characters added into their back. So is that they hate demons now? Because a burnus- Well, that would make sense though, right? If you're doing an a burnus campaign- No, but the devils. So the whole thing about a burnus is like there's references to devils versus demons.

So like if anything bringing a demon familiar with you into hell is kind of fun, because even if your little guy is like kind of evil, he's still on your side. Yeah. Can I read the language from the D&D Beyond, the description from the D&D Beyond? Please, yeah. Abissel chickens are carnivorous, temperamental, tasty bottom feeders, native to the abyss. They beat their leathery wings to scare predators and to help them run faster. And they taste like fatty chicken.

I just think it's so good. Oh, okay, they do taste good. We hear permission a character who cast fine familiar spell Ken henceforth choose to conjure an abyssal chicken instead of her raven. I just think it's so funny for this like wizard. I'm picturing like a really like cute kind of like oblivious simple wizard

just being like, aw, he likes me. And the thing is really trying to eat him. It's, I think that this is, to me, the language that this player felt dejected, sat there dejected, someone's not having fun at your table. And I do think that the players were wrong to attack this person's familiar. But there's someone who allows that to happen.

You're going after the DM. It deals half a player. Yeah. The players could have been told no. Justice Hurwis fucking came in with some confidence. That speedo is just snug enough that you are sit and tall. Yeah. I'm still wearing it under the robe.

Yeah. For sure. Yeah, I think as the DM you need to step in there and be like, all right, everybody relax. You can, I will legally allow you to attack the chicken, but here's why I think you shouldn't. Right. And why I think that maybe this is like not being nice to our drink here.

Okay, but Alaska G did say, was I wrong? Should I have steps in? And so they knew, they knew. Yeah, I think you know what you've done. And you're whatever you have not done. You're never allowed to eat a bistle chicken again. Oh my god True Getting a bistle chick fly you are not allowed to order. Oh my alright. Yeah, you can only ever eat stringy

Non-abistle chick would yeah, you have to get grilled chicken a chick fly for the rest of your life Would a bistle chickake only be open on Sundays Only open on Sundays and it's weirdly not problem Not over for big at all it's great This story though really made me laugh though because I just pictured I just pictured myself in a campaign Yeah, summoning my familiar for the first time and the party to killing The Dan, can we kill pop on pop up like a possible dumb Circle's out is fucking gone. Oh, what's with this book?

Yo, I hate this dude. Circle's out as fucking gone. Oh, what's with this book? Fuck days. As the DM, what I would have done if one of my players was like, uh, yeah, I want to kill this thing or whatever. I think I would have made them feel really bad about it. I'd be like, you look at this little thing and you see that it, it kind of seems like it likes you.

Like it looks like it's like savage little chicken, but it kind of like rubs up against your leg That's really cute. Yeah, this fucking I am like fully after seeing these pictures after the description I'm like grow a bistle chicken big time Yeah, you too. I'm sorry You can only eat stringy chicken, right? So that's what we're we are ruling in favor of the player, I believe. Yeah, every time you get chicken, you got to cook it a little too long and it's just

really dry. You just try that shit right out. There's no salmonella, but it is very dry. Yeah, sentence to a life of dry chicken. Oh, sal would be a cute name for the abyssal chicken. Oh, salmonella. Salmonella. Oh, really does look so.

It looks so raw, but apparently it's really good. Fancy. Oh great. Okay great. Then- So ordered. Hold on, hold on. Where's the gavle?

Wow. It's lighter than I thought it was going to be. I think guys, when we play our resume, Zoom like levels that out for me. And I did just smack the Zoom recorder. This is the only Zoom I want to deal with. Okay, next up, Mora O. May it please, and amuse the court. I present the case of the secret fard. Oh, I'm amused for it.

Prepping to DM my second ever game, set in an ever-on-inspired steampunk world. Cool. I asked all the players to tell me about their characters ahead of time. All but one gave me detailed information and even some clever back stories, which was awesome. However, one player refused to tell me what her character was. After a lot of couture, I got her to tell me it was a human bard, but would tell me nothing more. Come the first day of the campaign, she revealed she was actually going to be playing Tom Cruise. From the first day of the campaign, she revealed she was actually going to be playing Tom Cruise. My character named Tom Cruise, but actual Tom Cruise from our world who had, and this

is in quotation, been magically sent to this world by his god Z-New to spread Scientology to a new plane, thereby forcing me to in real time modify the world I had created to include multiple planes, one of which was actual Earth, as well as a new deity and religion. She also claimed that she should be able to role persuasion on every person she met. She poured everything into persuasion and that a medium success should convert them to Scientology. Being a new DM, I was flustered and allowed the character in a backstory, but made the persuasion checks more difficult. However, she still passed many of the checks, and I had no idea what to do because I don't know much about Scientology. Was she being a dick? She needs to go to an open mic. She just has some creative energy that she needs to get out. Right now, she's at the stage where she's doing one-for-one Tom Cruise jokes

from two miles in five. She needs to go to an open mic get boot off stage. Yeah, she's has comedy as not for her. Yeah, she needs to go up, start doing Tom Cruise material. Yeah, have her be like, oh, okay. I was like fully on board when she said her character name was Tom Cruise. Yeah, I think it's funny. I played in home games where someone's almost rich or dry face. It's great. It's always fun. It's like a funny little goo.

Yeah, we just did a one shot where it was very cost-n-resk. Yeah, yeah. So we're not above it. Where we named Kevin Costner? Yes, I was Calvin Costner, and you were Kevin Costner. Calvin. You were Kevin Costner. Yeah, stupid.

We're not above it. We're not above it. That was all improvised. Jeremy was literally making up the world as we were going. That was meant to be, that was like as much comedy bang bang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. But you built a world.

But it was built a world. What I'm picturing about, I am feeling heartbroken for this poor DM. This new DM who is now trying to work Scientology into their world. That is the sweetest, most sincere thing. And I think you're a beautiful DM. is now trying to work Scientology into their world. That is the sweetest, most sincere thing, and I think you're a beautiful DM. The Gorge's commentation.

And zoom out even further, because this DM made this entire world. And they said they got all of their other players' backstories. So this player is ruining the DM's world and also the game for other players. It's more egregious than you would even look at. I, man, I fucking know that experience of being like, just send me a little backstory

and then you see a pop up in your inbox and you're like, ooh, ooh, yeah, and you're like, a little summary for me. Wow, this is getting the juices going in. Yeah, and then Tom Cruise rolls in. If I were a player at that table and I came up with the backstory and I sat down, I was like, all right, let's play.

And then it was just suddenly a Scientology campaign and I was converting people to fucking Scientology and the earth was around. I was like, all right, let's play. And then it was just suddenly a Scientology campaign and I was converting people to fucking Scientology. And the earth was around. I was like, I don't, I want to fucking get away from that. Yeah. Do you think that there's like a situation where, I mean, I guess probably you kind of have to like be like, hey, I get that you're excited about the Scientology thing.

The rest of us are like really not feeling it. But like, is there a way to just like, how do you even get that for yourself? You don't even have to be rude, because you be like, you know what, it's very fun, but I don't know if that totally vibes with the world I'm trying to be. You're allowed to say, because you're the one

who made the world, so you're allowed to say, what's there and what's not. So they're like, my name's Tom Cruise and you go, okay, no, I'm the actual Tom Cruise. No, you're not. Right. That doesn't exist. Because this whole DM was like, and I had to make multiple points of existence.

Yeah, it already exists. You were too nice. Yeah, bless you for doing that. Yeah, that's very nice. You were a bummer, yeah. You shouldn't do that, because friend isn't very nice. Right, yeah. When you bend over backwards to help one person,

it's always the expense of the other players, too. Yeah. I think we should emblaze in their name in the Hall of DMs, Tom Cruise. Well, that is a good question. name in the Hall of DMs Tom Cruise Well, that is a good question. Now it's time to sentence Tom Cruise the character. Yeah, where we're with the Tom Cruise the guy We can also send some crews cool Tom Cruise has to hang out with Tom Cruise. Whoa For both of them. Yeah, oh

That you know what they also have to show for Scientology in real life. What is the misery that would be? Yeah, that's, and because if this person is like trying to make fun of Scientology, they're really not gonna be into it. And they are gonna meet Tom Cruise and he's actually gonna be able to start that, right? That's true.

Yeah. He's charming. He's very charming. Oh yeah. You see one fucking afternoon with Tom Cruise and I would be going clear. Yeah, as soon as you see that center tooth. It's hard to say Center tooth all the time Jake was the one who pointed that out to me and wow

I think that's the source of his power. I think that's kind of I do think a center tooth is like really cool Yeah, yeah, it's like a hypnotic sort of thing. Yeah, and does love interesting teeth I do as well, but they have to be interesting in my specific way. I'm just, I'm picturing coming over and Emily's just reading a book called Interesting Teeth. No, it's like a coffee table book, it's a self-picture. Oh my god. Oh, hi, I just see there. Stop the recording.

I can't even read that. We should mid that book. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Interesting teeth. Yeah, that sounds like a horror movie. Well, they, they're interesting, not scary. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Interesting teeth. Yeah, it sounds like a horror movie. Well, they'd be interesting, not scary. Okay, good, good. Does anyone have anything else that they want to do

to this Tom Cruise character? No, Tom Cruise got to hang out with Tom Cruise. Yeah. Tom Cruise got to hang out with Tom Cruise. We spent as much time on their cases they spent thinking about their characters. Wow, perfect. Okay, great.

Boom, roasted. Okay, so ordered. Like in a bistle chicken. Yeah. Okay, next up Roasted. So ordered. Like in a bissol chicken. Yeah. Okay. Next up. Wait, hold on.

Okay. Continues. Wow. That was a little lighter. I'm trying to get the rhythm of it. Miller W says, may it please the court, the esteemed justices and the charming bailiff? I present to you the case of more tint rolls. My partner and I have a new kitten named Moore.

He loves playing with D20s. For one session, we decided to give him a D20 to roll twice and use them like Portland rolls, available to the whole party for the session. His first official roll was at that 20. I just feel like stop reading this one. I like where we're at and I don't want it to go bad. If you see the only way you can get me on board with this bullshit, is by incorporating a cat. I just feel like stop reading this one. I like where we're at and I don't want it to go bad.

If there's the only way you can get me on board with this bullshit is by incorporating a cat. I just know we're gonna end up having to punish Mort in a fucking way. What is Mort done? The big word. The big word. What did Mort do?

Mort also rolled in that one. Is that fair? That session went wonderfully, but now the party wants more in roles every week. We tried again last week and lo and behold, more in roles another natural transiting. Oh yeah, holy shit. I told the group that while I am emotionally in support of the kitten-portant roles, I need the advice of legal counsel before adding it to the laws of the table.

Justice is, is my kitten going to break the game or shall I draft an amendment to my table's bill of dice? No. You have opened Pandora's box and it is too late. Yeah, Kat is sitting in Pandora's box. But you know what, I will justify the box. This is basically like a real life familiar. And like, I don't know what level they're playing at, but like having a familiar that can do one important role a day doesn't seem that broken at all.

It's true. It's true, It's two. So they get real two port and rolls. I'm saying we're picture this for our campaign. We just, none of us are port and wizards, or divination wizards, but we just have essentially two port and roll. But here's every single day.

I will still defend this, because it's a cat that is really cute. But. I was playing the devil's advocate because someone had to. Right. Oh my God, who are you? No, I think that you can almost treat this

like their balnor is a, what is the important wizard? Is that a divination? They do, so you can. You can almost pretend like they've got a divination and an indivisible divination wizard in their party. Oh my God, that's so cool. And that's why they had the roles.

That's so good if they also, if they like go this, like go for a little bit and it's just a silly bit. And then at some point this like divination wizard, they start to realize they're being followed with the fuck is going on. And then there's a reveal later that it's like, surprise, there's actually like a little divination wizard for a mission that aligns with your-

Yeah, a little magic hat. Yeah yeah more it was secretly an old man Where you could be a cat that Moritz ability is to do these poor ten rolls. Yeah, yeah, okay, so our solution is work more into the actual Campaign and then if you start to feel like it's overpowered you can just kill And then if you start to feel like it's overpowered, you can just kill me. Oh no, you can never kill more. More of this pop-up art has. No, more to the only one that wants you to come in.

I think it's not that broken. I think the problem with like luck points and portent roles is that, and like, coronal shifts, is that- I was also just playing double tap. No, no, I know. If you have a pistol chicken's effort, if you have too many of them,

it can undercut stakes, but that's not quite as important in a home game, because like if the characters in a home game, like figure out that they can skate out of consequences or something, that's just gonna make the whole table happy and wrapped in fun. I get within like, what we're doing here

is like if bad things don't happen sometimes, then it's not a good story But if your players are just doing maybe a little bit better than average. I don't think that's the worst thing Yeah, I have a good solution Fucking bait them into so many little bait them into so many little like ability checks here and there and they're gonna burn They're gonna burn their morten rolls on meaningless shit And then they won't have them for battles Yeah, I think he just adjust based on the Morton rolls

It's like if they're really kicking everybody's ass as you just make everybody a little harder right is I why does Mort roll twice? Like Like are always Remember like we all took a class ability and moonshine took Portant rolls. Yeah. And then I got those two. It's two. Yeah.

So I think that the, it's also clear that the cat was blessed by Dice Christ. Yeah. So like this is, this is actually a blast from the end. See the religious angles really getting. Like you cannot, like you would be going against Dice Christ at this point to take the. Yeah. Baylor Fax Oxford, open the windows.

Let the stained glass shine. It says the stained glass of mort the cat with a fucking D20. Oh, they're holy emissary. Oh my god, my next tattoo. Yeah, this is absolutely so cute. Okay, we're all in favor of mort. Yeah, but we need to put it on it.

We need to put it on it. We need to put it on it. We need to put it on it. We need to put it on it. We need to put it on it. We we need to punish the DM. Right. The DM doubting Mort. Right. Mort gets three rolls now. Actually Mort gets, Mort should DM and you, the DM rolls the port and rolls. Yeah.

That's good. Yeah. But it's cute when Mort rolls it so you could just step out. Yeah. I think it's just going to be Mort's second over this campaign. I feel like, yeah, like if you guys, you know, order pizza, someone has to kind of like watch the driveway. Right.

Yeah, yeah. You have to watch Uber. Right. You don't want like people, you know, like with their phones out, but you can get it in the water. Yeah. Right. Looking at a guy's day focus day in the game,

I'm gonna be in the living room looking out for it. Right. For the pizza. Mort will take it over from here. Come in. Everyone's fucking laugh crying. Mort's hilarious. Yeah. Mort, we're the pizza. Mort will take it over from here. Come in, everyone's fucking laugh crying. Mort's hilarious. Mort's so funny on the DM.

Mort's so funny on the DM. So you have to hand over your game to Mort, and Mort now has a DMPC that is a portent, that is a divination wizard. Yeah, and you have to coordinate the Uber. The pizza. Yeah, I can't wait for a trial like five months from now where I was like, Mort is crazy with power. And we were all real for more than as well.

Multiple people being like my DM more, threw up in the middle of the session. After eating a bunch of pizza, and also a plan. So ordered. Now, now. Okay, now we are taking a little detour. Whoa. What?

Why? Why? The hoglet is or bad. We have multiple hog today questions. Why? Well, they are specifically hoglet, but we have two holiday-vimmed ones. I'm interested. We're taking a detour. I'm gonna ask you a question. Why? Well, they are specifically a holiday, but we have two holiday-vimmed ones. So we're taking a detour. I'm interested in it.

Everyone, you know, get into the slide. Hoglet is here. Yeah, get into the Hoglet is slay. Well, I unsit my robe just a little bit. I'm showing my top piece of chest hair. I pour just some really old real nasty nog into my cup. Just nog from the back of the fridge. I pour just some really old real nasty nog into my cup. Just a dog from the back of the fridge.

I pull out some soft candy canes that have gone bad. I'll just eat a little candy. Yeah, you're really gonna be soft, bro. Okay, Stella Luna says, may it please the court accept Jake. May he have terrible nightmares? Whoa! Oh, what a relief. All right.

It's a funny way to insult me, even when I'm on the bench. I did it in the solicitation, say, please still insult Jake. Ha, ha, ha. They were just following orders. I understand. Then I actually appreciate it. I know you're going to come into your own so strong.

Well, but yeah, right. So you should probably start like eating a big steak understand. Then I actually appreciate it. I know you're going to come into your own so strong. Well, but you're probably start eating a big steak or whatever is going to give you nightmares every night. I can do that. I can do that. The abyssal chicken will probably. Salad and rice. I have been subjected to criticism and regret over this decision and a holiday special

even two years later. On the holidays? Yeah. a holiday special, even two years later. On the holidays? Yeah, I was DMing a holiday-themed one shot for my party who had just figured out Santa had been kidnapped by an avatar of Valentine's Day. After information from Miss Claus, the party was prepared to leave until the wizard asked Miss Claus to join them.

I, foolishly not expecting this, said Miss Claus needed to watch the North Pole. The party quickly countered saying that the the one remaining reindeer Blitzen could watch the North Pole. Blitzen? Yeah. You trust Blitzen with this? I said, I said reindeer could not open doors as they lack hands to prove me wrong. A player proceeded to open a door knob with their mouth in real life. All right convincing. Respect and fear.

I permitted misclos to go with them. Just, did I make the right choice or should I have stood my ground? Wow. So a human mouth opening a door like reindeer have antlers. You can't, how would you, you couldn't even get close to the door

with their mouth with the fucking antlers. Well, the antlers, I mean, I guess it depends because if it's like a front door, then like their antlers go like pretty side to side. They don't both side decide enough. Now, if you need to get under, their mouth is angled just as standard. Okay.

I encourage you to blow up on a raised mat. I don't need to. I have a perfect mental image. You're brandishing your hammer, Justice Tanner. Careful what you say, Justice Tanner. Need I remind you, you were here by invitation. I have a colleague, Justice Tanner. I'm sure you all appear for the day.

Why is the main concern that whether or not he can open doors? Right. Like, is that all it takes to watch the North Pole? Because theoretically, the problem with leaving the North Pole unattended is that Santa's being kidnapped. Right. There's criminals now.

Actually, I would. I would trust a reindeer. I mean, like Miss Klaus probably has some residual magical properties, but a reindeer can gory it pretty good if you try to break it. But they can't like hold for help. This also isn't taking him account what Mrs. Claus wanted. Mrs. Claus did want to stay.

She needs to do it. She wanted to stay. It doesn't even matter. She might have been like, hey, I'm actually emotional. I can't be pursuing my kidnap husband. I think so many questions. I was just kidding. Why was Blitz in left behind?

No, I think the other ones were kidnapped or dead. Okay. So all of the vampires accept Blitz and mislead him. When we seek solicitations, we ask people to be concise and keep it to a paragraph. And so unfortunately, we lose a lot of details. We have to cut reindeer lore being like, you know what,

Rudolph's not left. Blitz and is. Yeah. Wasn't there, there was a movie about one of the reindeer. I thought it was Rudolph. All of the other reindeer? No, no, besides Rudolph. There's a movie, a live action movie, where a girl finds a reindeer in a barn.

And it's like, it might be Blitzin. Really? I think it's gotta be. Blitzin origins, yeah. It's absolutely not Rudolph. Right, right. Look, maybe it's Comet. It might be., yeah. It's absolutely not root off. Right, right. Look, maybe it's comment. It might be. This is gonna require a Google economy.

Yeah, I'm gonna use Google this for the next 10 minutes. We must introduce into evidence the 1998 Disney film. So I can see it. I can see where the argument is coming from on both sides, but I have to introduce the mad lad principle, which is the fact that the player was willing to go to a doorknob and bite it and try and turn it. And I have to imagine that all the other players

were just cheering loudly while this happened. Yeah, that is like why I chose this question. It's like, it's like, you at the US and D&M, the US and D&M need to stop this. Like as soon as, as soon as somebody says, I'm gonna go open the doorknob with my mouth, you have to say, no, I'm never gonna let you do this. Like as soon as, as soon as somebody says, I'm gonna go open the door knob with my mouth, you have to say,

No, I'm never gonna let you do that. If Jake was like, I can prove it by opening the door of my mouth, I'm out of my seat, I'm standing, I'm hooting, I'm all over. Right, yeah. I wear the DM, I would be like, yes, a human opening a door with their mouth, that's exactly why Mrs. Claus needs to stay here.

I mean, this is the thing though, is like you usually break it down to a dice roll. That's exactly why Mrs. Claus needs to stay here. I mean, this is the thing though, is like you usually break it down to a dice roll. That's what a normal game of D&D would be. But if you don't want to do a dice roll, just make them bite a doorknob. And if they accomplish it, then you got to go with the ruling. Can you imagine if this had ended in a chip two? It really should have. If it ended in a chip two, then you have to let them have Miss Cloth. Yeah, I guess this is why I'm also- They put in the work, yeah.

They put in the work here. This DM said that they had regret and were made fun of? They were made fun of for sending Miss Cloth along, even though they paid for it. No, they were making fun of it. They were made fun of for saying that a reindeer couldn't open doors. What? That is your friend, your friend, your friend, your friend, and a door, and your, your friend, the weird, the freaking dog, right?

This is your, the movie is prancer, by the way. Okay, prancer, prancer. Can we think though? Okay, can we think? This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler go to birddogs.com slash pop-up or enter promo code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop- promo code Papa for a free yeti style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Think about this though, like to think about the question, like, if the opening of

doors is providing a hurdle, right? In the world where Blitzin stays by and watches the North Pole, but just has to ram his way through every single door? Blitzin, that's wrong. What is with the doors? That cannot be the reason. The problem is that there's a bunch of expensive shit there.

Yeah. And they need someone magic to protect it. And this is Glaas' magic. The problem is always, is that. You didn't think the door What is the door you shouldn't have given any reason why Mrs. Claus needed to be there right? This is her house. She's not leaving. She doesn't want to go. Yeah, like yeah, her There's been your fucking kid now. You don't need to know why she doesn't want to go. She has her reasons

Right, so you're like she needs to be there a reindeer can open a door then everyone was like yes again Do we think do we think that Miss Claude wanted to stay because she had some kind of thing on the side. I was like, oh, Miss Claude was getting it on with an elf. Right, uh huh, or Miss Claude was behind it all. Right. But then as the GM, you would be like, yeah, of course I'll send Miss

Claus along. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. So here's the thing. I guess I'm theoretically against the players. But I do think the specificity of you being hung up on whether or not reindeer's going to open doors. Again, I think this is getting condensed right. It was probably because we seek condensed things so that we can make them palatable. I have a feeling that there was a conversation that climaxed in, okay, yeah, but a fucking reindeer can't open a door. Right, yeah.

And then a human teeth on a door knob. I have to hope that the critiques and ridicule you're getting are like in good fun. I hope that these are just razors. I'm sure, so. Right, I don't think anybody opens a door with their teeth you're getting are like in good fun. I hope that these are just razzings. I'm sure so. Right. I don't think anybody opens a door with their teeth and then it's like you're a loser.

And can mean it. You know what though? Actually I need to bring up is that there are a lot of different types of door knobs though. Oh, that's what it is. Oh, dude. If it was one of those like stick ones. Yeah.

One of those ones that's just like a little button push. A little button push that you also have to grab a gas thing knob though because a knob is a specific type of door uh-huh door door not that's what I'm saying but you that's what you should have been you should have been like unfortunately there's more than just door knobs there's so many types of handles in the

the clauses love a barn door and that's kind of a that's a latch and a pole I would say that's easier for a reindeer to grab. Oh, yeah, they could use an antler. Yeah. I'm gonna, you know what? I think I actually am gonna side with the DM because I'm just so confused as to why the players insisted that a reindeer could watch the North Pole because a reindeer cannot watch the North Pole.

Yeah, this case is about if you think a reindeer can watch the North Pole. I think the case, to me the case is about like, should I be made fun of? Like, right, right. And it's like, that was the question. This is all insane. And I think you're, I think you're a little crazy. I think the players are a little crazy.

I think everyone lost their cool, but you should not be made fun of. And if your players are making you feel bad for losing this argument that was asinine to be getting there, getting there in the wrong. Okay, so who's getting sentenced? Players. That's the place. We're on the DM side, me and Jake at least. Okay, okay, call what, where do you land?

I gotta go with those mad lad players. Yeah, they like to knob and where you at. Okay, I have to weigh in. I share Caldwell's enjoyment of the fact that someone bit a doorknob. Yeah, oh my God. The sheer absurdity of it. I'm sitting in a cross.

I know, I keep looking at an ob, everybody ob too. I also think that it's not, I also think that reindeer, since now we're debating whether or not a reindeer could watch the North Pole. Yeah. I also think that a reindeer, like in the story of Santa Claus,

they talk. Oh, yeah. Yeah, are you talking about like claymation? Yeah, I don't know. You know, dancer. You know, don't. That's true. That's true.

This is not like, could my dog watch my house one? Right. This is like, could my magical talking dog if you has his own house? Yeah. House sit for. Your, bailiff expert is correct. talking my magical talking dog if you has your house yeah house it for bailiff actually is correct and actually to be to be candid I do believe that blitz and could watch

the north pole oh my god oh my god I don't know what the blitz and watch the north pole and what are we talking about here's the that's that's blitz and that's blitz and ridiculous that's, that's, that's,

that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's his family. Right, and that's why he, and that's why he would watch the, so that it's absurd that this DM would think that this is cause,

you need to watch the, well, because Blitzin is there. So I have, I have switched. There we go. Welcome. I did not realize the Claymation

defense. We must accept rain deers are like talk and even in the song they make fun of rain. They make fun of real magic. They can complicated social like a beer. They have like yeah. They're like I think that is mean as fuck. Yeah. They can fly. They can fly. They can't, like that's, I think the flying deer can't like watch your house. Like I would not leave. I think that's what you would leave. You would leave cold-wells daughter with a flying deer.

Well, I would leave you her with a talking deer. Right, so I would, I think I would trust the flying deer outside in the yard to keep away people from the house more so than I would an old Lady in she's magic though. She's a wizard Never said in this Her one claim to fame is that she can open a door Not with me Jan The world Not with May Jam. That's how she was evaluated. Yeah, she was evaluated by being able to fulfill this. She'd be here in the world.

The North Pole needs me. I can open short. She's also a little lady. She's a salt one night at a library. She's not ready for it, like, quite literally. She might be arthritic. We don't know. I think, though, if you're fucking Santa,

then surely you have to have some kind of magical power. In this, it's miss clause. Miss clause. Miss clause. So we actually don't even know what their sexual relationship is. This could be, she's fucking an elf. And I know in the world that we've constructed. She actually has a side piece.

Let's break it down though. This is where going by Rankin Bass rules. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and play reindeer games. So smart. You're so smart. If you can fucking throw a football, you can open a door.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, games have rules. Rainiers have rules. Rainiers have society. Yeah, they've won me over. I'm really sorry. I do think that Blitzett could watch the North Pole, but I don't think that they were right to make fun of you.

I forgot my reindeer learned to be honest, because I was specifically thinking about the 1989 classic prancer where prancer does not talk. No, we got to go by Rudolph rules No, we gotta go by Rudolph rules. We gotta go by Rudolph rules. And so I'm gonna join Emily and call to L to turn the boards. What a rare privilege. Yeah, I'm the lone dissenting judge.

Okay, so now we have dissentance that's the idea. Maybe they just have to bite it, do we? You gotta bite it. Don't bite it. That's true, that's true. Yeah, just to bite it. You gotta bite it. Don't bite it. That's true. Yeah, just gum it. You have to hold it, hold it, hold it, loosen it to the end.

Right. Yeah, we're gonna take your key, and this is how you get in your house from now on. Yeah, the way you get in your house from now on is finding a talking flying deer. Nice. Yeah, those are your talk. They can watch the North Pole.

If I lost my keys, I would call Prancer. Prancer has my spare key. Right. OK, so is it. So ordered. Yeah. Ho, ho, ho. Oh, ho, ho.

Yeah, yeah, ho, OK. So we're keeping it in the North Pole. Oh my god, what? Why would we ever leave it this way? I guess there's a theme I I'm gonna fucking go for it. This is great, a North Pole double dip. Okay, yeah, a North Pole double dip. Alster asks, if it pleases the court,

honorable judges and middleing bailiff, was I wrong? And what is my punish? Somewhere in the middle. For a Christmas session, I had planned a fun game where my party had to plan a Christmas party, like presents from evil elves, fight off a waken, snowmen and collect a Christmas session, I had planned a fun game where my party had to plan a Christmas party, collect presents from evil elves, fight off a waken, snowmen, and collect a Christmas tree.

Things were going great until the end boss. They were level 5 at the time, and I had come up with the idea that in hindsight was a bit cruel. Santa turned up and scolded the party for stealing presents, trees, and a Christmas goose. They were not even in the mood to fight. What the party didn't know was that Santa had lich stats. My concept was that Santa would kill the party quickly except one.

They would be given a Christmas wish, which I assumed they would use to revive their friends. However, when the fight started, it was much harder to kill them, and they got very frustrated when they realized this fight was unwinable By the time I actually killed my first player they were already frustrated and mad one of my players Characters killed themselves because they knew it was a Eventually got down to the last player

Everyone was pissed even after being revived and gifted in-game and in real life presents from me, the mood had started. Oh my god. Was that a gift for playing the long con? Or were my players too quick to assume I had turned into a murder hobo DM at Christmas? Oh, I think you're not an asshole. You planted these seeds. Yeah.

And now you have to deal with the shit flowers. It's like, when you're like, am I right or is this person right? Then it feels like, you know, what's the today? But if it's am I right or the five people that were mad at me, right? It's like I really tend to think that they were. But should I love about something like this is just the self-awareness. Yeah, right. If you're going to just have an unwinnable thing,

just have it be a cutscene and just be like you're all knocked out Right, yeah, like just like having lich stats for like low-level characters. Oh, and also yeah, I think it's a kill So they just like slogged out about it A Christmas One shot yeah, we're supposed to just be planning a Christmas. I can't imagine taking like four turns And you have to do this stuff fast if you want to do be planning a Christmas. I can't imagine taking like four turns and doing like your- You have to do this stuff fast if you want to do it as a joke. Like, literally Santa should have just-

It should have just been like, Santa's gonna go ahead and cast a mass power word kill. And you just get like a chuckle out of everyone. Right, and that's it. It's no fun to like sit there and be like, this Lich is gonna methodically kill everyone. I'm just making sure I was sweating, being like power through, power through,

they're gonna love it when they get to revive their friends and their friends. It's worth it. It's worth it. You got them all a coupons to dunk it. Just chiseling down Santa's 990 points. It's insane. What I love about this, and I do wanna come in the DM,

because like Santa Claus is a liches a very fun concept The each of the children of the world has a little bit of his soul inside of them unkillable incredible Yeah, yeah, that's that's all great But yeah, if you if you want to just do it as a goof do not set it up as a whole battle Yeah, that is like theoretically almost win a bull or something You know what I mean? If it's like if they can't win why are you sitting there and counting every single point from a fireball?

Yeah, why is it fun for you? It's nothing. Yeah. I think one of the things that like, again, because this is condensed, we don't know, but we really give a lot of context is like, what were the in real life presence that they got for everyone? Yeah.

Because if they got them all expensive watches. Right. I bet they were gag gifts. It's like, oh, I got them all expensive watches, I bet they were I bet they were gag gifts It's like oh, I got you stopwatch cuz you're always late You asshole Stopwatch super meeting late though Nothing but I realize that other watches would be too expensive Just fight the knob man

Fight the knob for that one Just fight the knob man fight the knob for that one. Oh man the stopwatch industry must be fucked right? Oh, yeah, do they sell stopwatch? I guess like a soccer like no it would be like it's way easier to like press that little button If you're doing like a track. It's kind of fun. We should get a stopwatch for tour We get a stopwatch yeah, they're boys a little bit of like PE cosplay. Yeah, yeah, you're a light you know coach bounding Yeah, exactly bit of like PE cosplay. Yeah. You're a light, you know, coach bounding. Yeah, exactly. Coach bounding. I, yeah, I'm gonna start wearing, um,

tucking in my shirt, wearing a whistle, having a stopwatch. Yeah, like wearing a whistle is such a good look. Yeah, it's really good. I don't hate wearing a whistle. I've been wearing a whistle. Oh my god, it's been really long time. Did you, oh, were you like a counselor at one point? No, I, in 2018 I was hiking in Alaska with,

and I think I had a whistle. Oh, like a whistle. I think he was there in trouble. Yeah, I was there. I was there to scare a bear. Yeah, yeah. It is true, it's unfortunate that so few professions get whistle access.

Yeah. There should be more whistles in the world. And I think it shouldn't be limited to like, just a coach's whistle. You should be able to have like a train whistle or like, you know, like a whistle that can summon dogs or something like that. I actually have a punishment for this DM. I think all of their players should have whistle. Oh, and get to whistle whenever you make it on. Yeah, whenever we make a player call a foul.

Yeah, whenever the player stops having fun, they just blow the whistle. And then the player that got the stopwatch would stop the stop. I also, I love the dedication to not reading the room of just like sitting there with the monster manual being just like, oh, I gotta do this. I everyone's mad at me, but yeah, I have to use a fifth level spell slot and they pass their deck save. So I have to kill them in an hour. But I feel like I have a lot of sympathy for that, right?

Because I think that a lot of times when people DM, they can kind of enter a, I'm juggling so much that I'm not necessarily making quality choices. I'm just doing what I planned. Yeah. Because I'm juggling so much. I don't have time to make that. But you can't just, like, make stuff funny. You can't make stuff happen unless it's also like wave funnier

Just be like Santa uses his own special Happy ability mass power word kill Like it's just so much and it that's just a joke and that's it. Yeah, there you go. No, no, no Wow, so I think I'm on I'm on the lawyers Yeah, I was just saying you're what you fucked up. Yeah, I'm on the first you ruined Christmas But I love that you know it though. Yeah, you leave them table on Mary. Yeah, you know you're wrong And you gave a presence after words and they're still mad at you and that's so fun Yeah, I think your players should give you a second chance though

Oh, it's like there's this is a fun idea. Oh my god. I let them get revenge. Yeah, you need to do it Maybe that's what maybe they need to do another Christmas special and give them a chance to just be honest. Beat the shit out of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you can still make this right. You know what'd be really fun is if you're playing this and like once per like top of the initiative,

somebody gets a gift and the gift is like a super bad ass sword or something. Oh, you give them in-game gifts. Yeah, they're wrapped up. You like everyone rules a D4 and that's how many rounds when their gift is kind of long. Yeah, it give them in-game gifts. Yeah, they're wrapped up. You like everyone rolls a D4 and max how many rounds when their gifts is kind of long. Yeah, it like drops in. Yeah.

Fortnite style. Wow. It's always all roads that back to Fortnite. It's a really good game. So, so ordered, right? So ordered. No, no, no. We're siding with the players a lot today.

Really? Yeah. I think it's the in-room energy. Yeah, that, no. We're siding with the players a lot today. Really? Yeah, I think it's the in-room energy. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Why don't we do one last one? If that's the case then, let's end with a Dice Christ confession.

Oh. Especially since Dice Christ has so powerful in the room because we're all picturing our art. We can feel them, yeah. Do we think that more is an incarnation of Dice Christ? Right, dice, Christ? Right, yeah.

Dice, Christ does appear in mysterious ways. I would say that similar to the Trinity, there are 20 iterations of dice, Christ. Wow. Oh my God, he's right. Yeah, I love that. Okay, cool, so what's an iteration? So the next next one.

Okay. Right, right, right. Rory says, please be the dice crash. Please hold on. Please. That's a six. Nice. I'll leave the room.

I understand. You said just a sex difference. Slide please. I had a confession to make and I pray that it will be received with forgiveness such that I may live once more and his holy life. More to maybe have already. such that I may live once more and his holy life. I love the way people read this. Some friends and I got together to play a one-shot recently. We are all relatively new players with varying degrees of experience. For my part, I played a few sessions about five years ago

and I'm an avid nat pod listener. We were on a time crunch, so we used a somewhat janky website to build our characters. I played as a half-orc barbarian named Grug Grug. We were on a time crunch, so we used a somewhat janky website to build our characters. I played as a half-orc barbarian named Grug Grug. And when it came to weapon selection, even though I was only building a level 2 character, the website gave me a drop-down menu to select basically any weapons. Oh, no, no, no.

Although I felt it was wrong, I selected the absolute dopest hammer I could find a plus four magic Every challenge easily Well, I do you think my freedom of choice kind of broke the game dice guys, please forgive me for wanting to absolutely Everybody wants to have a fucking grug grug moment. I mean, my God. The fact that they like, through shade at the website. Yeah. Yeah.

That is. Let's not properly. I think there was a lot of relief. You've not really blamed yourself. Yeah, that's really nice. Here's the thing, Dice Christ works in mysterious ways. Dice Christ has already punished you and you just did not see it. You broke the game.

You did not have the satisfying challenging session. The dice Christ has laid out for you. You are right because you're running to us because you feel a twin-jewel regret and that's because though you were doing nasty damage with your plus for hammer, you weren't getting the joy of actually earning it. Yeah, your brow was dry. There was no sweat from the anxiety and anticipation. That's correct. Oh, level two character with a plus four hand. Wow, just like plus nine to hit or not ten to ten. It's insane. You might have like plus, it's very funny. I'm trying to think, if you have like level eight.

If you have like plus four plus five, your proficiency is plus two, right? So that'd be like plus I'm trying to think if you have like level if you have like plus four plus five Your proficiency's plus two right? Yeah, that'd be like plus seven plus four you'd have like plus 11 to hit level two And level two that's frankly blasphemy This is the most egregious I think dice christ confession we've ever got you maybe you I think dice christ confession we've ever got. Yeah, you maybe my need although like dice christ is all benevolent I really think you might need to volunteer at a dice christ monaster Yeah, you're gonna need to till the fields yeah intense intense study I think yeah You're gonna have to help the abbots prepare the dice wine. Yeah

All right sweet sweet dice wine Yeah, all right sweet sweet dice wine We cast you out from dice Christ heaven because you frankly you betrayed him But you can be welcome back with time and time you can come back But you have to give yourself a minus four hammer in the next time you play. Oh, I love that You just get a normal hammer. You just get a normal ass hammer. It's not even a word hammer Just get a normal hammer. You just get a normal ass hammer. It's not even a word hammer. It's like you, a hammer.

You miss nails often. Yeah, and it doesn't have the back bits that you can remove the nails. It's just a ball-peen, I think it does. That's just a Home Depot hammer. Just you get a Home Depot ass hammer. All right, everybody, thank you all so much for listening. So ordained, so ordained.

Let's go ahead and hit the gavel, because, oh ordained. Let's go ahead and hit the gavel, because... Oh! Beautiful. Thank you all so much for listening. As we wrap this one up, this is going the main feed. Anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Just giving yourself a plus for him or for no reason. Yeah, I'm gonna not plug that.

I'm gonna plug not doing that. Plug not doing that. I'm gonna plug not doing that. I'm gonna plug Miss C that. Plug not doing that. I'm gonna plug not doing that. Also, I'm gonna plug Miss Clause and her little side piece. Oh, we just came out about a week ago, but part two of our paradox, perfect session. Yeah, that's very, very cool.

Yeah, that's very cool. Yeah, that's right. This is out truly, truly so funny. Yeah, I think it came up briefly today when we talked about the cost and the rest of the story. Yeah, that is the real story. If you look at their social media, There's a very, very, very funny Photoshop of us. Yeah. Is it the, is it the water world

comfort that? I don't think it's water world. No, I think it's, I think it's something different. Kevin Costner thing. Yeah. Wild water. I mean, Kevin Costner, I'll say it. I don't know if he was saying a lot of movies. Yeah. Yeah. We, he's done. Sure, he's been in something else. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's done. Sure, he's been in something else for a while. Yeah, my face was photoshopped onto his on that. Yeah, I was thinking about it like that. I did it because the hairline was very,

it was very, it was back. It was, yeah. It was cost-nerant. It was pretty far out. It was too cost-nerant. I told you, ask, but there was too cost-nerant. Anyway, fans of Yellowstone will love part two of our paradox perfect playthrough. I would love to plug some last minute late hoglet a cards we received.

Yeah, because we had such a strong. Yes, holiday theme for our January. You know what? Forget Christmas in July. It's Christmas in January. We went back for more we don't really miss it. I'm gonna read through these quick because I got a lot Andy, Peter and a whole mess of dogs and cats and horses in a nice card Clim Jim Sydney and Eli to those names are cats. I'm not sure which two Megan F. Senna's Polaroids of their cat Mavis wearing a star-shaped Christmas frill collar

It's very silly and I love it Also, Megan F. is a USPS worker, so thank you so much for carrying the letters rain and shine John S. We're so glad we could be there for you during your tough year. Thank you so much for the card We also got one from the Chowa family Ellen sent us a lovely Christmas newsletter and an Edward Gory card We are so glad to hear. Life is improving for you. I love it. Very best of luck to you at college this year. Going back to, I believe, get their degree.

You're a far braver than me. I can never go back to college at this point in my life. Hell yeah, let's go Huskies. I assume they're going to be come. Well, Jake, you're also attending. Ah, yeah. I'll be there with you. Let's go Huskies.

Seriousy and Miami, Santa Cune Holiday card. They also suggested a Miami live show. Oh my God, I'll be there with you. Let's go. Seracy and Miami Santa C cute holiday card. They also suggested a Miami live show Christmas and Miami let's do it. Let's all dress so 80s Yeah, we can all wear white blazers all fuck sleeves rolled sleeves off oh Actually sleeves off, but I'm gonna roll mine up just so high it looks like they're all Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, use is just slightly too big and that is very funny to me. So thank you for that image. Eli, Kelly sent us a nice note and a holiday card. Congrats on the one-year anniversary of your D&D campaign. Oh, very impressive. I love that. And Dusty P sent us a cute kitty, Huggler Day card. Thank you so much for listening Dusty. And happy Huggler Days. Happy second Christmas to everyone.

Very, very. Do you guys feel like we have milked the hogleties in the middle of the day? I mean, the hogleties are just all year round. Right, yeah. At this point, so yeah, listen. You can milk a hedgehog. You can milk the hogleties. Oh my God.

Can you milk a hedgehog? I don't know that you can. Anyway, let's go ahead and, is that it, Kogel? That's it. Thank you all so much for sending us stuff. And we should plug some live shows, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've got some live shows.

Seattle and oh fuck me. It's San Francisco so down. We've got Austin and Dallas. That's right. Oh shit, and we plugged it at the top, but one more time, you can get the Bookvar plush pre-ordered in New York. Oh, you know what, almost,

I like really want to keep the Bookvar plush pre-ordered. That's a great one. Do you know what, almost, if we, I like really want to keep the bookvar plush in the studio. In the studio. So that like future crit justices can swear. In the whole bookbar. I love that. So yeah, get your pre-orders in because it will not be for sale afterwards. It is all just one, it's one big, yeah, you know. We collect orders over a certain period and then they make them and then that's it.

So we get order now. NADPOD.com slash bookvar is where you can go to preorder or you can go to make ship and it will be up on their site as well. That's correct. And it is cat approved. Yeah, the cats loved it. Babies love it. I'll say that.

Great. And Jill and Tucker actually adore the thing too. Wow That's a short rest. They put that outside the door when they don't want you to come in. That's I know It's been out there for a week now Awesome guys. Thank you all so much for listening. I could follow us on social media There we may or may not use at sea to Memphis me at called these calls Well, I actually am Lee and at Jake Orts is Jake and you can tweet about the show using hashtag nat pa that's n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d. We are we are youth of an nation.

We are we are youth of an nation. It is the end of our episode, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders, you honor us, and now we sing your praises, let's do it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Haldoor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. Players in an all-time cruise party. Brad D. is Mission Impossible Cruise. Jeff S. is Top Gun Cruise. Haldoor is Risky Business Cruise. Steelbreaker is Cocktail Cruise, and Matt M M is interview with a vampire crew.

It's honestly a really well balanced party. Go figure, the man's got range. Darby M. Jordan DJ. Cutter W. Dillon B. and Dungeon Mama. Abyssal cows who have started a campaign to get more people to eat Abyssal chicken by putting up billboards around the 9 hells. Luckily, their milk is pitch black and doubles as paint. Gross! Danielle the Dastorly Dame, Beardman Dan, Scott D, Danny P, and Mixologist Michael McDee. Divination Kittens! Much like more, these kiddies can see the future. Recently, they had a vision of a great flood and tried to alert their owners by knocking full water glasses off the table. I'm sure they got the message.

Vincent W. Mr. Cole, Bounor's boy forever, Andrew B. and Justin I. North Pole Raindeer who just completed law school and are now suing the DM who said they couldn't open doors for liable and defamation of character. Papa would be so proud. Ragnar Faredwin, TJ M, the gnome barbarian, Kaley E, Elena M and Traylay, the cray-fay. A D&D party who loved the Christmas one shot their DM made so much, they decided to just keep playing

in that world. Now, there are 15 sessions in and all openly weeping at the death of Frosty the Snowman. D&D, it's a hell of a drug. Woo! Jarradee! Daniel R, cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Filbert the Fabulous, and Richard X Machina. Naughty children who received with a thought was coal for Christmas.

However, in truth, the coal pieces are falacteries for Lich Santa. This is actually the plot hook for the Christmas campaigns next session. Sounds good, can't wait. Michael L. trash the traveler, Sir Carl, Jory S. and Calum L. D&D players who received a vision from Mort the psychic kitten. The vision said that the next elders named to be red would start with a J. Let's see if he was right. Jack L. Sam L. Nicholas C. Sam B. and Mike H.

Whoa, the first name I read did start with J. Holy shit, Mort was right. Truly, he is one of the 20 avatars of Dice Christ. I've been the knee so that I might better scratch his tiny, all-knowing chin. Oh, who's a good boy? Oh, yes. Uduishmuluk, the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E. Colton B, Adam G, Megan S, and knee-badger. Abyssal chicken farmers. They raise their chickens cage-free, which is a kind gesture, but honestly a huge mistake.

At the time of this writing, they have escaped, slain all of the demon lords, and captured nearly half of a furnace. It's a horrific scene, but, in all honesty, it makes the meat taste just a little better. Yum. Panama James, Andrew the Bard, Captain sigil, Nathan C, and Diana. Future historians who will remember the powerful, divinatory powers of Martha Kitten, and how Mort correctly predicted every single Super Bowl winner for three straight decades.

Impressive. Ceci Lulu, Barnesinator, Michelle O, Here Cuele Poirot, the Rabbit Folk Detective, Timmy R, and Jonathan W. the Crock-Waring Warrior. Abyssal Chicken Eggs. These eggs might just make a delicious Abyssal omelette. Hmm, sounds like breakfast to me. Lucas B.

Ray Takuchi of the Broken Shoulder Clan. It's Kevin, callers cold, come, okay. New York and Cass skateboard casts. The makers of Sincidine Dornobs, which now help protect sensitive teeth against ice cream and cold hard brass dornobbs. Gotta pick some up before my next D&D session.

Steven C. Mike K. Lady Taco. Joy T. Nara and K. Level 2 characters with 20s across the board. The website let him do it, so why not? Jake L. Nick W. Brave the Badger, Esmi M. Justin P. and Smug in the Tartus. Miss Clauses various side pieces. There's a reason she keeps it Miss MISS, and it's because too many people would miss her if she let Santa put a ring on it. Yow! Kazimir, the all-knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, Eric McDee, giant monsters on the horizon, GOOOLIAJOOOLIA,

and THRAATH. The various children recipients of toys with bits of Lich Santa's essence in them. They're all polypockets, and if you look closely, all the polis look like evil Lich Santa's, so you better believe they're not sharing that rad toy. Make sense. Early tea. Percival Fredricstein von Musul Klasowski Derrollo III. Christian A. J. Dragonborn. Jouro the Anapropro and Cody B.

Claymation reindeer that can not only open doors, they can lock them too. They can't unlock them though, so it leads to a lot of trapped deer. Oh no, Rudolph, help! Liam D, the San Drain, Bin A, Fel Donnis, Dave H, and Vivian, the Bakers of Portant Roles. They're like fortune cookies, but they're cinnamon rolls with a whole D20 baked in them. Watch out folks, but you didn't see that coming.

Qual a bear, Catherine S, David K. Christian S. Dustin S. And Connor F. The architects of the Diced Christ confessional. It's one of the only confessions that comes with a microphone and broadcast your misdeeds to a large audience. Arguably a better way to shame people and to good behavior. Such as the way of Diced Christ.

Hawkeye Pierce, bookffars assistant, is he F? The Timewalker, two left eyes. DPC is awesome, and Blair, the bug-blair, blar-blairian. Kitsonation Wizards. These Wizards do not get port and rolls, but do get Morton rolls as long as they've got a cat name mort nearby who can roll for them. Seems fair, seems balanced. Cat-C, pork chop, valetier raptor, minnet-f, pat-l, and a chuta-a.

The possum lawyers who created the reindeer can talk and play games defense that led to the acquittal of the players in the blitz and case. Great work team. Lauren H. Amber W. aka Hazelbat LaTay O'Iose Hawthorne Ryan S. The Charming Fluff and Brintley C. Dice Christ Arch Angels, who carry plus four hammers

and smite any low-level adventurer who dares wield the same weapon. Thank you, Dice Christ, praise you. Mike Abbey, Mr. Satan, the world martial arts champion and earth's protectorector, Ploups, Carly Ann, Addy, Birdie Save Kay, and Laurie P. Demonic chefs who won top chef demons in a 5-way tie after they all made absolutely delectable abyssal chicken dishes.

Aw, I can smell it now. Seth AJ, spam gaming, the not-so-skilled gamer, Connor Savage, Christopher J. Pebblepot, Logan S. and Leviathan. The Crews Crew. These adventurers have elected to all become Tom Cruise, driving the DM to an early retirement. Bioquart 7, Remington CD, Amber Dextrous, Filler the fight, Sullivan H and Troob, Hobb dropper, Lich Stannis loyal elf guards. Each one is a challenge rating 20 and has the power to ruin Christmas for your party.

Watch out. Sydney T, Jack H, Matt Y, Alex C, Garbo the Moist, and Juicy Kiwi. Cranpuses elves who raided and destroyed Santa's workshop as soon as Miss Clause wasn't around to watch it. Ugh, if only Blitzon could have opened a door to stop them. If only! Champ Wild, Vailin, Sprite Pepsi, Carlin' Sea, Luria's Your Dad, and Jake. Raindeers who can open doors, not just regular knobs either.

They have the hoof dexterity to use a key or input a code. Wow, nowhere is safe. CCA, Raiden Readin, TREP, NOAA, the bagel of all things. A still and loyal Theogier, a bistle chicken of vingers. These demonic warriors will avenge the wizards familiar and set things right. Go forth, brave chickens. Go forth. Conflict to DM. Justin LB. Dandy. Bunny. Embarber. Marcos P. Founders of Abyssal Chick-fil-A.

The most delicious raw chicken sandwich you ever got food poisoning from. Still sounds delicious. I don't know what to say. Pub-Kaylish, Gabriel M, learns the balanced druid. Dakota JP, Pegos, self-proclaimed, Faye Prince, and Catrin. Mort's players who are actually starting to feel like the cat is a bit railroad-y. They miss their old DM, but Mort is not going

to leave his seat of power. Wow. Tracy P, the Crick-Elf Librarian, Andy E, President of Potatoes, Holly Hyena, Anthony A, and Leia C. Rain-Dear, who pulled Santa's sleigh and are pretty miffed they couldn't be trusted to watch the North Pole. Blitzen gets all the glory work. Psh, unfair. Abigail, maybe! Blitzen gets all the glory work. Psh, unfair. Abigail!

Maybe! Kristen I, Egg in Finitum, Sloth King, 777 and Cal, just Cal. Cal's enough. Abyssal Chicken Familiers seeking revenge for our wizard friend. Look out familiar killers, these chickens will not rest until justice is seen through. Commodore Galaxy, Edison Inn, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, Nios, the novice monster hunter, and Lorelei and Kay Frost. Owners of negative forehammers that someone is going to have to use for the rest of their

D&D career. I'm sorry if that's just how dice-christ operates, nothing we can do about it. Morgan M. Sticker, Zachary A, Stephen E, Mr. Adams, and Meg, the male carrier of Bahumia. Tom Cruise impersonators who had never considered playing D&D before, but now that they know they can play as Tom Cruise, they are fucking IN. Ah, let me join that party. James F, Jimmy A. Captain Kappy. M4L. The Dragon. Ambassador.

And Wayfarer. All of the elves' misclos is having an extra marital affair with. That's a lot of side pieces. No wonder she didn't want to leave the North Pole. Andrew B. Dalton B. Cope Fresh. Best DM James. Barpo Good Barrel. Bard Barian, and Brewer Emeritus of Waterdeep, Jet Black is back, and Tari rhymes with Jabari.

Lich sent his minions that he actually dismissed during the fight because Santa was so overpowered that he needed no support. The only person who stood a chance against him was Ryan Nerfy. It's a Christmas miracle! Oh oh and that is all of our shoutouts. Thank you all so so much for listening. If you would like to join the Council of Elders you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nad pod. That is going to be all from us this week. We are off with a dark week next week but on the patreon we're going to have a live show up for you, so get excited about that, and we hope we'll see you there.

Until then, farewell, and have a great week. Bye-bye!