Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Questionable Rests, Dubious Daggers and The Rise of Clunky

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, along with Apple Car Driver / Bailiff Jake, as they pass judgement on your trials at the table!CREDITS:Sound Mixing ...and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:12 Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon. Dungeon. Dungeon. Dungeon. Dungeon. Welcome to Dungeon courts, everybody. Dunn, Dunn. We are your Supreme Crit Justices, Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and the loly, lowly, lowly, lolly,
Starting point is 00:01:27 lowly worm bailiff Jay Kerwitz. That's right. He's regular. We were talking about Richard Scarry before we started for some reason. I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:01:35 I'm the wife worm. How dare you take the title of worm away from me? Get him, man. I just called him lowly worm. Murph is the bailiff. What? Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Do the cases, man. I don't know. I don't have them. What kind of car is Murph drive, though? Because there's a pickle car. There's a banana car. I guess there's a lot of other cars. I guess I have an apple car.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Apple car? Oh, like the, like the, okay. Like lowly worm, yeah. Not like the corporation apple made a car. Yeah. I'm confused. All right. With that, let's throw to Jake in his apple car.
Starting point is 00:02:08 There we go. The corporation. Hear ye. Crit is now in session. The honorable. It's a freaking Cortland. Look at that. The honorable Supreme Crit justice is Axford Murphy and Tanner presiding.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Hello. Hong, honk, chump. Let's get into it. Stephen F. writes, may it please the Supreme Crit Justices and displease that guy standing in the corner. I'll have you know I'm in an apple. It's like an apple box, but a full car. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Makes you talk. I need it. That was a film industry joke. For anyone who hasn't heard of an apple box. Yeah. Sorry to be so inside baseball with it. Baseball is a sport that's played with a stick where you hit a ball. That was a baseball joke.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Okay. Go on. Go on, Jake. This is a case. This is a case about an ignored disease. I just think it'd be funny if, like, instead of an apple box, you had, like, a car that you actually brought into places if it was small enough and you just, like, sat in it.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Yeah, you just kind of, like, drove around a party. I feel like you have to explain what an apple box even is to people. I feel like this bit is a six out of ten, and we have to move on, right? Read the case, Jake. Well, we either have to move on or explain what an apple box is. We have to be killing. But it was actually kind of, it was kind of evocative what we were doing because Jake said it's a case of an ignored something or other.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I didn't hear it because I accidentally ignored. Okay. And we were acting that out. Now, continue, Jake, please. Sure. This is a case of an ignored disease. I've been DMing this campaign for my friends for three years. Around session 15, my players were fighting a werewolf.
Starting point is 00:03:42 The werewolf bit one of the players, and I made him roll a constitution saving throw. He rolled a Nat one. In the moment, he remarked, I bet I just contracted lichenthropy. I neither confirmed, nor. denied this and moved on with the combat. Oh. Okay. The next session, I described that the moon was nearing full when I was setting the scene,
Starting point is 00:04:01 but I tried not to bring attention to it. The players said nothing. The moon was a shape in the sky. They then proceeded to go into the dwarven tunnels that were under the mountains and didn't emerge for about a week. Oh. I diligently was tracking the moon cycle, and about 15 sessions later and six real life months later, the full moon was coming up again in just a few days.
Starting point is 00:04:22 I once again described the almost full moon when I was setting the scene but tried not to make it obvious. The player said nothing. On the night of the full moon, the player transformed into a werewolf and killed two NPCs and almost killed a party member. Wow. He was pissed that I hadn't told him he was a werewolf. But I maintain that it was his responsibility to remember things that happened to his character. So I asked the court, was I wrong to not explicitly call out the fact that he was a werewolf. They had access to remove curse and I didn't want them to escape consequence.
Starting point is 00:04:52 so easily. You were asking them to pay attention to their like PCs body, right? But when we play PCs, we don't actually have bodies. So the sort of like, yet, we're getting there. So the sort of like information that a given person would be receiving from their body kind of does have to come from the DM. Yeah, the DM tells you if you have a fever or if you're starting to feel strange around the moon. Yeah. The idea that you would just go from zero, I guess you can say in my lore, everything is exactly the same. It is the first time ever in all of the zombie vampire werewolf movies that there are no signs whatsoever. And you just turn on a dime really quick. I think that's not the like own you think it is. Yeah. Kind of just anti-climactic.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Yeah. I think if anything, you kind of robbed yourself of a fun narrative because having it come out of nowhere. Maybe you felt like you got consequences, but you missed out on like a really fun, slow ride to get there. It's called foreshadowing. You did no shadowing. Yeah. Because you're down on all fours because you're a wolf now. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I really thought that they were going to be going into the cave and like the full moon was like just going to be coming out as they went in and they'd feel like a tingle and like a little sweat and their hair would prick up or something. It would be like that would be foreshadowing. We don't do that in this campaign. We don't do that. This is no shadowing. Yeah. The sun is directly over
Starting point is 00:06:18 head at all times. I think it's nor shadow. There's probably nothing in the rulebook that says that you have to give people hints or tell them how they're feeling. I'm sure there is nothing. But even to say like I bet I just got lichenthropy, like you should just be like, yeah, maybe you did. Or like, do you want to roll?
Starting point is 00:06:35 Yeah. Right. It's almost a little bit like just not telling someone they got hit or something like that. Yeah. You could just be like, you died actually. Yeah. In five sessions. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Yeah. No, in like, in six months, yeah. Yeah, remember six months ago when I didn't tell you how much damage you took? It was actually your maximum. That ogre actually shoved your vertebra out of place. And if you sneeze ever again, you're dead. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:03 You're trying to enmite shamal on your player. Yeah. I think so. The beach that makes you wolf. Yeah. I think the odds of there being no signs of you becoming a werewolf are, are low. I think, I think it's also just like not satisfying. like narratively.
Starting point is 00:07:19 No, not at all. of a sudden, surprise, it's like hatching from you like a, I guess, you know, sometimes people get implanted with a sack of spider's eggs and they don't know. They're so physical signs.
Starting point is 00:07:30 It happens, I think. Go on. How do you, wait, what do you do I have it? I think I'm realizing that I read that in a children's horror book.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Okay. But hypothetically, I'd buy it. If someone said, oh. If there was just a clutch of spiders right. Sometimes people, where would they be?
Starting point is 00:07:47 Have their hands. head fall off because the ribbon gets taken off. That happens all the time. But they know that they can't take the ribbon off. They're warning people. I guess what I'm saying is like you were kind of waiting for a big moment of consequences, but you could have been the slow, trickling horror. Like a lot of these, like a lot of these vampire zombie movies, the horror isn't like the first
Starting point is 00:08:11 turn. It's like the dread of, oh no, wait, I'm changing. And all of the zombie movies are you battle all the zombies. you leave and everyone, you're sitting around to fire and you're like, are you okay? And you say, yeah. And then you look and you have a bite mark on your right. Yeah. And then you're like, lose your humanity. Exactly. And that's, that's the fun of watching it all. Right. But what if you immediately lost your humanity and you just kind of forgot about it? What if you got bit on the ass by a zombie by a zombie bit? And you just think nothing of it. Oh, that's true. What if the bite is somewhere you couldn't really see? Yeah. Is there a bruise on my ass where with the zombie bit me? I don't know. It's right in the. It's right in the, it's right in the. It's right in the. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's center up your back so you're looking like I know I think I'm good. Yeah. Although it is very funny to picture somebody instantly turning into a werewolf just like just popping out of their clothes in a moment's notice.
Starting point is 00:08:58 It's definitely funny, but I think that like if your players didn't feel satisfied by it, I would could see where they're coming from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little strange to hide this. Uh-huh. You forgot to make your dread impending, unfortunately.
Starting point is 00:09:11 I feel like I could see an instinct if you're like, oh man, my players have forgotten about this. I'm going to surprise them with it. Yeah. I can see that kind of instinct, but I feel like you almost intentionally pulled the wool over their eyes. You know what I would also say is that I do think, although we get a lot of cases about this, so it is its own hotbed topic, I do think that part of the fun is also, oh no, I know I'm going to turn what the heck are we going to do to keep ourselves safe. So you kind of like also took that off the table and that's always kind of a fun problem solving. Well, it said they had to remove curse. I think this DM just wanted there to be a werewolf.
Starting point is 00:09:46 and didn't want them to cast their spell. Then I think you got to own up and just say, yeah, I didn't want you guys to cast remove curse. I wanted one night of you being a werewolf. Sorry. I wanted to kill these two NPCs. All right. So I think we're ready to move on a sentencing.
Starting point is 00:10:01 I think we're with the players here, right? Yeah. But you know what? We're going to give this DM a second chance here, I feel like. For sure. You are going to punish you, but like you can make this work. If you're willing to say, I wanted to make sure they turned into a werewolf. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:14 I'll take the L. I know that I I know I deceived them. As someone who has had werewolves in a game recently like it's all you want. At any point you're just like I want you to wolf out.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Clearly it seems like your story was headed towards this like dwarven mine tunnel. And like you knew you were going to be away from the moon but like you still in the back of your head had that werewolf moment that you wanted to play on.
Starting point is 00:10:35 So yeah, I think you got to fess up but like just I think if I'm a player, I'll understand. It's pretty egregious now that I think about it. They waited six months.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Six months. I really don't. I don't like it. Yeah, six months. Yeah. It's also, if you're afraid of the remove curse thing, you could just nerf it a little bit and be like it requires a role or it requires an arcana check. It's a more difficult curse.
Starting point is 00:10:56 You can't just like wave it away. So there's ways to do it and we're like people understand the stakes. I think you knew what you were doing too. I think you said twice that you described the moon as full and tried not to make anyone notice it. Yeah. It's really weird to be like, I'm sitting here tracking the moon cycle. Like this person's kind of playing their own.
Starting point is 00:11:14 own game where they're like not telling the characters how they feel or anything just sitting there quietly tracking the moon cycle it's like first off it's your fucking game if you want to have a fucking full moon 30 days out of the month you can do that so you're playing the gars mask over here you got the moon coming up and down yeah it's not er so i don't know i think we sentenced this dm to like randomly turn into a werewolf like maybe in six months maybe in three years maybe in 13 years and it might be a really inconvenient time it might be not going to be foreshadowed You know in like animorphs where like you see them like halfway between a person and a starfish? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:49 No havesies. You're going. You're just going to become a starfish. Your chinos are ruined. Yeah. They're done. And we're going to call it like, Stephen, you're going to be listening to this show in a year and a half and we're just going to be like. Wolf out.
Starting point is 00:12:00 Oh, Stephen, you're aware of wolf. You're going to be at a wolf accident, which is like a car accident, but a wolf's going to ram into it. You were going really fast and then became a wolf. They would crash so fast. Oh my God. My freaking apple. No. We did get it. It's bruised.
Starting point is 00:12:16 This is a pretty new BMW gala. This is a world where car brands all make Apple cars. So there would be, you know, you'd say the car name and then the Apple name is how it would work. Yeah. I'd be in a Fuji for sure. Yeah. Cosmic crisp for me, but I've already been on record with that. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Toyota Pink Lady, let's go. Nick W. writes, to the Supreme Crit Justices and the prepubescent bailiff Jay. Thanks. Wow. I play a war-forged artificer named Clifference. Clunky in a tyranny of dragons campaign. He's the first War Forge created by a new artificer and deemed too clunky to be sent out. He was relegated to the back of the shop where he would clean, read adventure stories, and tinker with old artifacts.
Starting point is 00:12:59 When it came time for his own adventure, clunky is clunky going to eat it? Clunky's going to get so. Oh, no, is that what we're setting up? Shoot. Clunky became a werewolf. Seven months after touching a werewolf. from reading a werewolf story. When it came time for his own adventure,
Starting point is 00:13:19 Clunky would at times forget he's not in one of his adventure books and say things to people he shouldn't or attempt things he has no business attempting. Okay, I've actually turned on Clunky. I don't know, I like Clunky as a plot engine. He is just driving things forward. He's making things messy. He's making fun.
Starting point is 00:13:35 I don't know. Clunky sounds a little LOL so random. We'll find out. I was fully prepared to roll for these actions and more than likely fail. But each time the DM would laugh, say, that's awesome. And let it succeed. Classic Gwling. And let it succeed?
Starting point is 00:13:52 I love your DM. Okay. Maybe. Judges, am I wrong in wanting the chance to roll and possibly slash probably fail so I can then roll play that success and failure? Or should I consider myself lucky to succeed as often as I am? I humbly accept your ruling. God bless both of you.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Are there no examples of what clunky's doing it right? No. That's clunky up to. All right, should we make up some examples? This is completely predicated, in my opinion, on, like, what's happening? If you're just like, I want to give a speech so good the king shits himself, then like, yeah, you have to roll for that. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:26 But if clunky's just like, I do a dance for everyone, and the DM's just like, that's awesome. They kind of like your dance. Moving on. You know what I mean? I have to imagine stuff like clunkies in like a bar or like see some sort of like rough looking customers and like just uppercuts them thinking like, they were barbarians. They were going to rob you. So then there's no.
Starting point is 00:14:43 role so then they just say you killed all the barbarians? I guess that would suck. It's classic clunky is what I don't know what classic clunky mean. Vintage clunky. That's vintage. Clunky reads a lot of adventure books. Yeah. Clunky is doing things that like clunky perceives heroes might do.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Clunky's doing like flips or something. I think I would say we do that. But there are consequences. No, not really. Not if it's like you're fighting a purple worm. Flavor is free. Yeah. I run up the worm.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I do a kick off the worm. I do a kick off the worm. wall and then I attack with my axe. It's just like, cool, roll with your axe. That's awesome. Like, we don't, we don't make you do an athletics check for the, like, running up the worm part. So that is a good question. Is Clunky mad because they're like, I take two swords and I decapitate them and then that's working? Or are they mad because they're like, I dip them and kiss them. And they're like, awesome. Yeah, I think it's some of that, like, because they also mentioned Clunky might say things that Clunky shouldn't. So maybe Clunky is like at a bar ordering, I don't know. Mercury soup or something. That's what a robot.
Starting point is 00:15:47 And then the DM's like awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. Here's the thing though is that like you've made a character named Clunky who's adorable and loves adventure. He's awesome. Sometimes the world does bend for people and it sounds like
Starting point is 00:16:01 Clunky might just have that kind of gift in the world. Clunky's got Riz. Clunky is just walking through the world. I think so. What is Clunky not supposed to say? is clunky an Austin comedian? Probably getting trouble for saying this.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Well, I think that this is easily solved because I think that there is like really good camaraderie already. So all you can say is like, I literally think you could text your DM and be like, you don't need to let me get away with everything. You can make me roll for stuff. Yeah. Or you could even in the moment. Yeah. Just be like, oh. Oh, can I roll?
Starting point is 00:16:42 Like, oh, you could, instead of saying the thing you do, you could say, can I do an acrobatics rule to see if I feel this? That's great. So then you're suggesting because, like, I said DM, I would never mind if someone was like, oh, can I do this type of role? Great. Yeah, do it up. Totally.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah. I think it depends. Yeah, I'm wondering if a lot of this stuff is just flavor or not. Because if it's just flavor, I don't think you got a, I don't think you got a rule for that personally. Yeah. Right. But if you want Clunky to, like, fall on Clunky's face in like a social setting, then I think, yeah,
Starting point is 00:17:10 can. Clunky do a performance check to do this, then you get to roll. I feel like this is a good solution, right? Totally. Yeah, but I don't know who to punish because we basically just helped and we need to hurt something. Clunky has a new Netflix special called Trigger coming out. I don't know if you guys have seen this. It is classic Clunky according to the New York Times.
Starting point is 00:17:30 He fucking can't keep getting away with it. Holy shit. Clunky's gone viral. Clunky is in some pictures on Instagram with people that I cannot mention. I personally don't really want to punish anyone because I feel like I'm enjoying what everyone's doing. I don't want to punish a DM who's just saying awesome to the things that players do. Yeah. And we don't want to punish clunky because clunky seems to just skate through life without dealing with any punishment.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Like nobody could punish clunky. You can try to cancel clunky, but it won't. It just makes clunky more popular. Unfortunately, it only fills up the clunky. Bunk Bunker, which is the name of his fans. The Plunk Bunker is overflowing with people who like to tell it like it is. He's unstoppable. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Yeah. So should we just cancel Clunky? We could. It's only going to make it stronger. We know. Yeah. We can't cancel clunky, unfortunately. Do you think Clunky just needs to keep pushing the envelope?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Clunky needs to push the envelope farther. That way the DM asks for roles. Okay. Cool. we're just going to let clunky keep on clunky let clunky be clunky yeah we we sentence you to follow up your next special let us know how it goes i think we can do a legit clunky follow-up because i think i need more info i think i need to know what these roles are asking for because if it's just you're doing stuff that's silly and so the dm is just like ha ha very funny we need moving
Starting point is 00:19:06 on we need the clunky compilation we need to know what clunky's best bits and moments are okay all right So we're going to reserve the ruling for clunky, but for now clunk on. And we'll clunk on as well. Our next case comes from pee-week to the judges who look like they've been hitting the gym a lot lately and the bailiff who could have at least worn a tie. Well, I cannot make that claim. Worms can't wear ties. I know it's not about me, but I cannot make that claim. I bring the case of the sleep addicted siblings.
Starting point is 00:19:34 I DM a game for my two younger siblings and their significant others. It is the first time any of them have played and it was very. very touching when they asked me to run a game for them. The game over the last two years has been a delight. Wow. We're a very close family, all with similar taste in media and sense of humor. They finished a short campaign to level 10, and we've recently started a second one. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Here's the problem. No. No. They love taking long rest. I find it very difficult to pressure their resources and spell slots because they will take incredible pains to get eight hours of sleep between every single fight. It's actually really healthy if you think about it. Yeah, this is like resonating with me so much.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Like, yeah, dude, I get it. Fight for your eight hours. Often leaving dungeons or once even the layer of a mini boss to go back to camp. Oh. I don't think they've ever done two combats in one calendar day. Wow. When I explain to them that rules as written, they can only take one long rest per in-game 24 hours. My brother said, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:20:34 We'll just wait the other 16 hours. Hell yeah. You're getting absolutely big dogs. I've tried doing things like kidnapping an NPC they made friends with and having the BB EG say they would sacrifice him that night and even sending a zombie horde at their favorite town. It has little effect. They are more afraid of running out of spells than letting me kill every named character in the game. I've ambushed them in their sleep too. They just fight the fight and go back to bed.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Should my players learn that it's not very adventurous to sleep your life away? Or should I let the siblings and significant others snooze? P.S. I haven't pushed too hard on this because of the family, I am the mirth. So I worry that if they find out it's bugging me, it will become a bit and they will sleep even more. That makes sense. You do got to push the envelope a little bit clunky style. I was thinking that, I mean, you're saying that you're killing MPCs, but like it does sound like if you let them get away with leaving a layer mid-boss fight. There's consequences to that, right?
Starting point is 00:21:37 Like there should have been crazy. They should have been chased out of there and maybe. I think don't worry. They're not attached to the NPCs. It sounds like they don't care about the world outside of their little party. Yeah. So I would just make it so like, yeah, if they leave a dungeon, then the bad guy like sets up an awful trap for them when they come back. Like your bad guy should be prepping.
Starting point is 00:21:57 What about a dream thing? Like dream demons? Oh, a dream wizard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is like a whole like this college tari, which are like the people of the dreaming world. And so I think that there is. I've looked into it before and there's not that much, like, lore about it.
Starting point is 00:22:12 So it means that it's years to go nuts. I'm pretty sure that, like, hags have the ability. Like, if you've got, like, a hag coven, they can get up in your dreams real easily. Yeah. There's, like, spells that, like, let you torment people via a dream. Yeah, I would just not, it sounds like, you said, I think, that there were zombie hordes attacking them in their sleep. You have to keep doing that.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Yeah. Which is, like, so much more than a zombie hoard. Next time they check into a really comfy looking Lakinta, uh, have to, uh, have it be that the clerk there is secretly a night hag and she like tucks them into bed but then boom they're getting nightmare haunted all night long you have to just prep that happened to me once it's literally like your characters inside or the monsters inside of a dungeon or something would prep for the people to come back if yeah just like left and are just sleeping outside have them set up like absolutely deadly traps and just like have 30 or 40 dudes in the same room and why wouldn't
Starting point is 00:23:06 regret it. Yeah, if your players are going to regroup, then so are the bad guys. Yeah, for sure. But also, like, are they attaching a rope to themselves every time they go into a dungeon? How are they getting out of the dungeon so easily? I mean, if you clear the rooms, you can go walk back certainly. I think you can
Starting point is 00:23:22 regress, but there would be a toll for them coming back. We've all watched Ronald McDonald Mysteries. You just put, what was it, your left hand on the mirror maze that they did? It's really crazy to say that. I've been staring at one of guys wrote McDonald's Toys origin of happy meal question mark on a post-it note. Pretty important.
Starting point is 00:23:44 That sounds like a cold well thing. That's for my thesis. Yeah. I've re-enrolled in school. Thank you, Dr. Tanner. I'm going to be absent from the podcast for six months as I pursue my doctorate in McDonald's toys. I do like the idea, though.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Auditing in McDonald's parking lot. I do like the idea of dream ghouls going after them so that. sleep stops being a place of refuge for them. And then they might get, because right now they're probably just scared of what would I do if I ran out of spells? And it sounds like they haven't had the opportunity to find out that, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:19 there's obviously you don't want to like live without spells, but like one or two battles. You can get, as long as you, the DM are setting up creative ways for people whose spells are gone kaput, like to be involved. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:33 I don't think this will be a popular suggestion, but I wonder if you could give them, items or like something that, that, you know, it sounds like they're relying very heavily on their stocked stuff that they'll lose after a long rest. But maybe you give them an item or something that like alleviates that fear. I think this DM probably wants to challenge them. Yeah. Yeah. If you're a wizard that's just sitting there and you just have infinite spells because you take a rest literally any time. And so you don't have to worry about, you know, saving anything. So you're just like, I just use all of my highest level spells. And then I take a rest immediately no matter where I am.
Starting point is 00:25:05 God. They must have so many hotel points. The answer should just be that like assassins come and attack them like immediately. Or set up like a huge trap. Like instead of just instead of one zombie or one zombie hoard or something like that, it's like, no, it should be assassins literally surround to their camp and have them prepped like, you know, knock out the person who is keeping watch and stuff like that. I don't know. You can you can be pretty sick and twisted with it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Yeah. You're the older sibling and you have to show your younger siblings how the world. works and sometimes it's cool and sometimes if you leave a dungeon and go to a lakinta and come back there's going to be a big spike trap and you know i can imagine you kind of being lenient on these people because it's their first time playing but it's been two years now two years yeah they're not newbies they're not going to run away from d and d they like playing yeah i think i think it's time to take the training wheels off put freddie grueger in your game that's what we're saying here cool yeah yeah stick him right up in there so i think i'm gonna go ahead and unfortunately i think we
Starting point is 00:26:02 had to rule against this DM. I think you're right. Because I think they let us get out of control. Yeah. This is crazy. So far we've ruled against two submitters and thrown out a clunky kid. Yeah. What would Clunky do in this situation?
Starting point is 00:26:16 Maybe we should just sentence them to have a nightmare about Freddie Kruger. Oh. The DM? Yeah. Or a nightmare about clunky. Yeah. Oh, Freddy clunky. Freddie clunky.
Starting point is 00:26:29 That's cool. So it's Freddie Kruger. But instead of like really sharp. Claws. He has like really clunky fingers. He has microphones and he does crowdwork. And he's one of those videos that you're pretty sure that there's no audience actually and they're just recording it in their home.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Eight hours of a crowdwork nightmare with Freddie was pretty clunky. Wow. A lot of right wing accounts like this video. Much like Freddie Krueger is using the B word a lot. Interesting choice. Okay. So ordered. Our next case comes from Josh M.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Dear Laird's on High and their champion Jacob of Jillington, I bring you the case also about sleep, everybody. I bring you the case of no long rest. Whoa, okay. Okay, swinging into the opposite direction, the pendulum. Now we're getting clunky. My GM, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that while traveling,
Starting point is 00:27:27 which we do most of the campaign, no one is able to get a full and restful sleep due to the conditions not being fully safe and comfortable. This varies. That would be true for me, a loser in real life. I'm not like a fantasy hero. This is really... The opposite end of the spectrum.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Just like an indoor kid just being like, there's no way you could sleep in a sleeping bag. So funny. You're like, Legolas being like, I slept poorly. I wasn't in my elven bag. I didn't have my sleep mask. Oh, Legolas, I totally get that. When I'm away from my mattress,
Starting point is 00:28:01 like in an Airbnb, I also can't sleep. Indeed, my friend, there was a caterpillar on my sleeping bag. It was very scary. This varies in results from taking levels of exhaustion on a con save to not regaining spells or HP for weeks at a time. This is sort of understandable
Starting point is 00:28:17 and even fun when we're on the side of an ice-torn cliff or treking through a hag-infested swamp. Yeah, so that's different. I would completely agree with that, that the idea that like when you guys go through this, a long rest is going to be more like a short rest. It is specifically for storyline reasons.
Starting point is 00:28:34 What's up? This area is uninhabitable. You guys are on an adventure. You can't just camp here in the snow and feel great about it. Yeah. That's way different than just being like, Hey, if you're hiking, you ain't going to sleep well. Might I suggest, though, that I think that you have to be cognizant of what your players are all playing
Starting point is 00:28:54 because spellcasters get punished so much more than like a fighter. I don't think that you need to play it like that. Okay. And they continue, if I tell you after a Nat 20 survival check in a bucolic, fay-touched valley that was described as the purest running water, beds of golden flowers, and clear lines of sight, while still being protected from outsiders, we still got no long rest. Why? Even though in the party, one is a druid, and the other is a fay-touched sorcerer, and I'm a fay champion. Yes, somehow the druid gets spells back in a comfy town bed, but not in a place brimming with nature's power. Also, two of us are woodland elves. This has led us to hoard our spells
Starting point is 00:29:32 And my character has yet to even cast his only second level spell Because once I do, it may be weeks in game And out of game before I get to do it again. Please do something. A Nat20 survival. Like that's you showing up to your DM being like, You want to do this by the books. I'm asking for a miracle here.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Oh, it happened. I still don't get it. I'm more at home in the woods. And it's a Nat 20. And like, okay, good. That's a spider comes up and wraps you up, but it's a nice spider and it kisses you and tucks you in and you get the best night's sleep you've ever had. And six months later, you explode with a sack of eggs.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Yeah. But they're therapeutic eggs. It's like salmon row. It's delicious. Ooh, yum. This is, yeah, highly unnecessary. How the heck would you talk someone down from this? Well, I think you're mad with this person.
Starting point is 00:30:24 You just, how do you use it with this person? I don't know. It's just the game is just not balanced for this. Like, you should be able to cast your spells and everything. Even in Pathfinder, I think Pathfinder is a little more gruesome when it comes to how you get long rest. I think like it's very hard to like regain all your HP. And like I feel like there are systems in place for this. You get exhaustion.
Starting point is 00:30:45 You like get less HP back because it's a less restful sleep. Just like cutting out spells and stuff just seems like too blue. That's where I draw the line. I would say if you wanted to create and this would be completely home brew and it would just be like if this DM specifically wanted to be like, I want travel. to be a big deal in my campaign, then I would suggest doing that, doing something with like hit dice where maybe you don't, you know. And that would kind of make sense to be like,
Starting point is 00:31:09 you have 100 HP, you get beaten down to 3 HP, maybe just go into bed doesn't solve the problems. Like maybe you actually have to re-roll your hit dice when you go to bed or something like that. That's fine. But once you get spells off the table, you guys are right.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Like that just, it makes it so you don't even want to, like why wouldn't you just all play fighters? Yeah, I think also that, I think exhaustion, the first level isn't disadvantage, right? The first level is disadvantage on like checks, not attacks. Like I would say that's even a little bit extreme of a thing to be like every other day.
Starting point is 00:31:41 I'm rolling everything with disadvantage. You don't even want that to be sitting there and just being like no one sees anything. No one sneaks up on anything. You get into every fight you see. And they're hurting their own story. If we're going into a swamp and you're telling me that I'm not going to be able to sleep, that's scary and exciting. And I'm like, I'm all in.
Starting point is 00:31:57 But if it's just like we've been. I've been playing for months and I haven't slept. No one's having a good time anymore. Yeah. When the consequences are so unfun mechanically, then you don't get to feel, like, I think that it's fun to be at low HP. Yes. So I don't hate being like, okay, like, there's going to be consequences to your HP replenishing.
Starting point is 00:32:16 But when it becomes like, you're rolling, you're constantly rolling with disadvantage, you don't have any spells. Then I think the player starts to get meta and not like, it's not like the feeling of like, oh my God, we're strapped. It becomes like, oh, this is. I'm just never going to use this stuff, yeah. I mean, it's basically how you feel when you actually don't sleep. I also think it's a bad strategy because when you're rolling with disadvantage,
Starting point is 00:32:36 sometimes you just like stop trying to look for stuff. And so I would imagine that it's not even good for the table for everyone to be like, does anyone want to give me a perception check? I mean, I have disadvantaged, so whatever, just go with whatever they get. I wonder if the solution here, or at least like a way to like prod your DM is to be like, oh, you know, the 2024 edition, 5.5, as they're calling it these days. I would have pitched so far You got it
Starting point is 00:33:01 Because the DM seems like maybe they're staunch They're a fuddy In terms of like you know The guide books I'm sure So you gotta you gotta like really soft pitch it You could be like 5.5 I know But you say to them like they change the exhaustion rules a little bit
Starting point is 00:33:17 And it seems kind of fun Because in 2024 I think it changed it So that like based on the level of exhaustion you're at Like you the penalty gets greater So it's not disadvantage It's like a numerical penalty. That's cool with me. If it's something like your speed is affected, your HP is affected, then I think that, like,
Starting point is 00:33:35 I just think that your DM really needs to, like, go through and be like, what feels like stakes but doesn't make this stop being the game? I would make the case, just try to get your spells so that at least you can play your characters. Because when you play, like, low magic campaigns and stuff, anytime we've done that, we've always just been like, everyone play a martial class. Yeah. Or play a half martial class. play a half caster or something like that.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Because when you have people that are playing characters that are built to cast these spells and then you're not letting them cast them, they're just playing worse versions of characters. What do we think about sending one of y'all, maybe Murph or Emily, undercover? We get you like a full plaster mask and you act like you are one of the other players
Starting point is 00:34:16 cousin from out of town who wants to hop in for a session. And then like halfway through you rip your mask off and be like, I'm here from D&D court and you're under arrest. do we never and they're just like I don't know what that is oh hold on let me play an episode or even like I've heard the show but I didn't know like what anybody looks like because hang on let me no let me pull it up real quick let me google myself sorry do you expect to be recognized from a podcast right it'd be really funny to be in disguise and then pull up a mask and it's like I'm just a different guy you don't know check it out all right I'm going to play adam ruins everything hold on oh fuck I'm not in this episode let me get the next one okay all right there's a lot different now
Starting point is 00:34:55 Have you heard of college? Do you have a Paramount Plus account so I can show you something I'm in? Okay. So, yeah, like an hour later after you've explained who you are, then you can pursue justice. Then you can arrest them. Undercover player, maybe is what we'll call it. We're ruling against his DM. Maybe you just have to do something that to just be like, hey, can you just give us one session?
Starting point is 00:35:20 Where we get to like play and it starts with a long rest and it ends with a long rest? I think you can just be like, please just let us have spells. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. That's the one thing that's like is kind of non-negotiable. It seems like that's a fairer ask to this DM because it seems like they're just, they're going to die on the hill of like, you guys don't rest when you're traveling. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:40 So it doesn't make sense to my brain. So I'm not going to let that happen. But it's like, okay, but we're magic. So can we have some access to our spells? Yeah. Let us keep our spells. And then also look into the new 2024 exhaustion rules. I hear they're amazing.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I hear they're so good. I know. Yeah. Let's, why don't we send, let's send this DM to a really bad hotel. Oh. They love hotels so much. They're like, the only place you can sleep well is at an inn, even if you're a wood elf that lives in the woods. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Definitely prefer sleeping on like a glade. Yeah. Should we send a hag after them? Nightmare haunt them as well. Sure. Yeah. Haunt their nightmares. Freddie Kruggy.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Freddie Kruey. Freddie Kruggy. Freddie Kruggy. Yeah. It's just, Harley Quinn? Freddy Kruggy should crowd work. He's like the Hague version. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:36:30 This is, why have they never Harley Quinn, Freddy Kruger and given him like a hot girlfriend? Because if they were waiting for us to do it, Caldwell. Yeah. So, Quetti Kugi has a hot girlfriend. And she does crowd work. Hey, Mr. Kays. Check out my stand-up special. Crowdwork in the restaurant of this day's in where the DM has to stay.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Yes. And I say it. This DM will be, yeah. Okay. You have to see the, you have to see the open mic. Yeah. You never take me out to dinner, Mr. K. Open now I'm feasting on dreams.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Thank you. Wow. You can't use this character. This is too good. You don't deserve it. She's too hot. Who does? Who does deserve Freddie Creaky?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Clunky. Clunky deserves Freddie Creek. Yeah. And he could get her. His life bends to Clunky. Do you think that's what Clunky's doing? Is it clunky like maybe, oh, because some heroes in these adventure books, they got a little braggadetia, you know?
Starting point is 00:37:31 They're going after like, you know, the damsel. Yeah. To be honest, I think Clunky is trying to fail. Yeah. Wow. And it's the one thing they can't do. Wow. Clunky, what do you struggle with?
Starting point is 00:37:44 Being too damn cool. Damn, Clunky. I never thought about it like that. Okay. You're built for success, you know, like an awesome. I don't know. She's got too much Riz. Okay, so ordered wherever we landed. This episode of NADPOT is brought to you by Raycon.
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Starting point is 00:38:30 They've got active noise cancellation, multipoint connectivity so you can pair with two devices at once and a super comfortable ergonomic design that stays put no matter what you're doing. The new colors are awesome too. Personally, I'm an electric blue guy, but the cool mint is pretty solid too. I use my recons pretty much every day while I'm doing my chores.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Emily does the same thing. we like to pass each other in loving silence, exchanging knowing nods. Celebrate the moms in your life. Go to buy raycon.com slash p-a-w-p-A-W to get 50% off the everyday earbuds classic. That's raycon.com slash paw-paw. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring. The next case comes from David Kay. Dearest bodacious justices.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Thanks, Mr. Kay. Sorry. Dearest bodacious justices and Jorm. I present the case of the darkness dagger. I was DMing for the first time with a group of friends. One player, a warlock, would cast darkness to get away from fights. As a baby DM, I thought I would help them out and give them a dagger that can cast darkness so as not to waste one of their spell slots.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Boy, did I feel like a Jake, totally idiot. Thank you. It kind of works. It sounds like jerk, right? He's starting with a J and then he was, oh, man, I feel like such a Jake. Unfortunately, that does absolutely work. They noticed that I did not put any parameters on the dagger and would cast it multiple times a day. When I pointed out that I needed to change that, they responded with, but you didn't.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Oh. Oh. Oh. I was setting up a BBEG and had the BBEG destroy the dagger. Your honors, the fury in my player's eyes could not be contained. He became quiet and now continues to bring up how I did not allow a roll or anything. Your Honors, I asked, was I right in destroying the dagger without a roll or should I have allowed a role? P.S. I have introduced another dagger that does the same thing but only has three charges.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Yeah. Three charges is generous too. The player continues to bring up the original dagger. This one really seesawed a bit for me. But I feel like the player is just being petulant here. I think so. Why do they not want to do any fights and just want to roll? run away with a broken item.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Yeah. Even with the charges, it's kind of crazy that you wanted to give them an item that would allow them to do that move more and more. Can you not see through darkness with dark vision? You can't see through the darkness. Unless it's magical darkness, I think, is the distinction. I don't know. There's different types of darkness.
Starting point is 00:41:07 It's interesting because I've had access to darkness as several characters and I've never used it because I'm always like, well, this would just fuck over the people around me. Yeah, that is true. So I've like never, I've had maybe once or twice that I've like been able to use it. But mostly I'm like, I don't know how you use this except to maybe escape. So the idea of relying so heavily on a spell that I've like really not found a good way. Casting it like five times a day just like nonstop so that it was yeah. Like even this is nerfed and they do three times a day.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I mean, it's a really cool idea for an item because I'm picturing you like jamming it into the wall like a light switch and then like flipping it down to like turn out the lights in the room. And that's a very fun visual. Yeah, but you're abusing it. You're abusing the cool thing that your DM got you. The storyboard artist came out of there. It's also really weird energy for the person to say that they want to nerf it and the player essentially saying, no, you can't. It's just like, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:42:01 I can literally. I can't. I can go into your D&D beyond. Yeah, I can delete your character. I feel like I would have been okay if they were like, I want to nerf it. And then they were like, okay, let's bargain. If they were, if they tried to run a hard bargain, I would be like, okay, they love their dagger.
Starting point is 00:42:17 It is always hard to like, yeah, it's, it's hard. You can't close Pandora's box. So, yeah. But you can. But you can nerve it. I will say the only, the only thing I would say against the DM here is, I think you should have pushed back harder when the player was just kind of being a jerk and saying like, but you didn't and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Because you should have known that when you destroyed it like in combat, that they would freak out and that they would be upset. Right, right. Did you get down into the mud and slug it out? with this player over that comment. Yeah. Yeah, I would have like, once they brought that up there, like, but you didn't, I'd be like, I am now though.
Starting point is 00:42:54 So what I am. That's have what I just did. Wait. Okay, generous read though, is there a chance that this player is on a 90s sitcom? And that is their catchphrase. They're just like so rad. And they're like, well, but you didn't.
Starting point is 00:43:06 And then they steal your peanut butter. And then they cast darkness and run away. We should give that catchphrase to Clunky, I think. Yeah, oh shit. Clunky would just make it work. Is it? Chandler Bing? But you didn't.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Chandler Bing Bong? Yeah. Because he's a robot? I don't know. I would think like, yeah, bleep bloop. Yeah. Chandler blip. I like Chandler blip.
Starting point is 00:43:30 I actually likes Chandler Bing Bong the most. Really? Yeah, I did. Sometimes you workshop just to come back to the original idea. Yeah. Now I'm just picturing a robot that just says the wrong thing. It's just like Bing, Bong. It sounds like a bell choir.
Starting point is 00:43:45 It's fun. from a robot. It's a robot in disguise. That's, that's clunky doing deception. And it's just, honestly, it works because he's awesome.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Yeah, clunky can do it. But yeah, as much as, as much as I do think you should have put your foot down a little bit earlier, this player seems like a jerk. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:03 And also, yeah, it's also weird to just bring that energy to the table to be like, what I want to do is avoid everything you throw in front of me. I would like to use darkness five times a day
Starting point is 00:44:14 to never, fight ever. The fact that the compromise was three times a day, I just, that means that they were doing it 10 times a day. She's really generous. I just have to imagine as another player. I'm like, cool, I guess one of the combatants disappeared and ran away. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like negotiating with a toddler, which I do all the time. You can have one marshmallow. No, I want every single marshmallow that there ever was. I want to do a thousand darkness. Yeah. You can do darkness fine. Let's do darkness three times. No, I hate you.
Starting point is 00:44:48 No, I hate you. And honestly, the solution with a toddler sometimes is just to turn out the light and be like, it's bedtime now. It's what you've got to do with this player. At noon. Sometimes it's his bedtime at 3 o'clock. Sometimes a big bad just eats all the marshmallows while you're sleeping. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Marshmallow moths. All right? So we're against this player, right? Yeah. All right. So we have to punish this player. When they got so, when they got so sassy with, but you didn't, that was the moment that they lost.
Starting point is 00:45:14 They lost us. I mean, they won the audience over for their sitcom, but they lost us. Yeah, they got the applause break. Yeah. So we are going to put Clunky on your show. You've been replaced by Clunky. Oh, that's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Because honestly, Clunky's having a moment. Clunky can eat more pussy than Grisbee. I'll say it. Whoa, dude. Sorry. Clunky wants to fail. So Clunky's not going to just spam darkness. It's crazy that Clunky is the new Grisbee.
Starting point is 00:45:40 It's kind of crazy. They could team up. They could do a buddy comedy or something. we're talking about it is i mean the thing is though like does clunky even need grisbee but grisby's happening murph is grisby is still happening though it's been months like grisbee's kind of falling off i think crispy's over i think like risby had his moment and now it's it's it's 2026 it's time it's time for clunky yeah wow we're bringing grisby to the scrap yard clunky's first order of business is grinding grisby in his
Starting point is 00:46:15 face. And clunky eats ass. Let's just Yeah, it's a new day. We're talking to a new day. We're talking about a grizzby eating pussy for what reason when he's ass.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Clunky does rim jobs. You've heard it here first. And the DM just says, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. I cast darkness and eat ass. So no one can see it. am doing it.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Yeah. That player has been punished. Every time they cast darkness, they have to say, I cast darkness and I eat ass. You can't prove I didn't. Yeah, because that's what that's what clunky would do. You can't see in magical darkness. Right. Classic clunky behavior.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Okay. So ordered. Her next case comes from Andrew S. Greetings, benevolent judges, and the dopolicious. Yes, I made this up just for you. bailiff. Thanks. I bring to you the case of the falling airship.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I DM a campaign for a party of five people who were attempting to flee a city where they had made many enemies by stealing an airship. None of the party members' backstories or characters in general would have had knowledge on how to operate this airship. But one of them rolled a high insight check on the levers that were in the airship. So I gave them a brief general description of what they thought the levers would do. The player who rolled the high insight check was upset that he did not know how to work the airship entirely, while the other players did say that it made sense for none of them to know how to work an airship. When they went to land, they pulled the lever, they believed made them land, and I told them they started to free fall as they pulled the wrong lever.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Judges, was I wrong for not telling my player how to control an airship after a high insight check, or was I in the right to only give him a general idea? As always, I await your gracious decision. You know, I think it's a little touchy because you told them, their instinct told them something definitive that was definitively not true. Yeah. That's the only snare. Yeah, I told them what they would think. Yeah. I think that you handled it well except for that you shouldn't have said something that they thought affirmatively that was actively the opposite.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Yeah. I mean, like, it feels bad to be punished for a high rule at any time, anytime that happens. And it feels weird that you made them use insight. but I guess like for them to like be instinctually thinking about what would work. I don't hate it because it's kind of like it's what I want from an action movie. Yeah. I want to get onto an airship and be like, well, I've driven a motorcycle before. Shouldn't be too much different.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Right. And then roll a really good insight. It's sort of like it's all red wire situation. I would imagine that the thing that turned the engine off would be like a little bit labeled or a little bit different. You know what I mean? Like it is kind of just be like I'm trying to if you said they don't know how to land. it or something or like put it into some kind of landing gear, sure, but to just be like you turn
Starting point is 00:49:16 the whole thing off. Right. Like I think I could not turn off an airplane. Yeah. If you're doing the wrong thing with the lever, like you could make the airship turn or like something could get jostled or knocked over. But being like you either land it or you plummet from the sky by this lever. It feels like kind of crazy.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Those levers and buttons usually have a glass case over them. I would also have done more like rolls. Like instead of just being like There's seven levers there Do you press lever one or lever three? Right. It's like rolling for a mishap or something like Yeah. I've like taken down this sale and now the airship is harder to steer.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Because also characters are when we're sitting here and we're being like, yes, of course, me who sits here and fucking edits on garage band every day, I don't know how to fucking fly a plane or camp. We can't say it. We don't get clearance for that. We didn't get clearance for some garage band. I'm joking. Oh.
Starting point is 00:50:08 What is that bit? Just that we can't say. Yeah, we didn't get it cleared. Got you. Tim Cook's last acting role as CEO is to say we can't say it. Okay. The fuck was I talking about. Me as a useless person, like, I can't, like,
Starting point is 00:50:25 fucking build a tent or do fucking anything. But, like, I don't know. If I'm a grizzled fighter in a, like, steampunk campaign or something, it's just like, I don't know, you might, if you have, like, high enough roles or proficiencies in. stuff you might know how to figure out some stuff. Yeah, you've got enough proficiency. And like, if you're like a thief or somebody that steals something, you've got enough like know how to figure it out on the line. I also think you could put up a tent. I think you could do that.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Yeah, I could put up a tent. You just wouldn't enjoy doing it. I wouldn't enjoy doing it. I would hate it. I'd whine it. And you wouldn't be able to sleep in it. And I wouldn't be asleep in it. And I wouldn't be restored it. I'd say I wouldn't have any of my spells. But yeah, I mean, it does make sense that you'd be like, okay, they wouldn't know how to fly this. But I think that they wouldn't actively have an incorrect insight. Yeah. I think you did everything right, except for just being like, and also you think that this one lever does something that it doesn't. If you're going to put it down to one role, I think what happens is that it reduces the overall damage that they take. Like, they're still going to crash. It's going to be bad, but like you take 2D10 off because they
Starting point is 00:51:28 manage to like save the landing at the last minute or something like that. You got to reward this role a little Whenever there's stuff like this, when like players do something cool, like they're trying to escape and they steal an airship and they fly off. I'm always confused why DMs are like, how do I kill them for doing something cool? I'm just, this instinct is just not my instinct. Yeah. And I think we actually, a lot of times, I think for a lot of people listening to this right now, they're like absolute slam dunk. The players are 100% wrong. These guys are so stupid for even talking about this.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Think about all the gameplay that it inspires. If you're like, if I press this button and the airship doesn't plummet, but just something goes awry, then somebody else casts a spell to fix that. And then the fighter, like, goes on a sail to, like, keep it flying in the air. There's a lot of, like, story that happened. Exactly. I think if it did something other than the exact opposite, I think that it would have still felt satisfying. It's like they could be wrong about something, but not dead wrong about something with a good insight. Again, I'm of two minds on this because, like, technically, I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:52:29 you can just be like, you guys don't know how to do that, so you can't do it. But they were able to, like, get it up and working. So now you're just, like, cool. And now it free falls. I guess they, like, landed anyway. Presumably, this didn't end in a total party kill. Yeah. So there is a world where it's just like...
Starting point is 00:52:45 I would have told me if it did. But I guess I would put it past them. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know. I'm kind of half and half on this one because technically this is fine. But I understand why it's kind of anticlimactic. I think if I were at the table, I would just side with the play.
Starting point is 00:52:59 even if it's not raw, right? So that's how I have to rule. But it's hard to side with the players because I don't like that the one player was like, what? I don't know how to fly this. Yeah, 100%. So, like,
Starting point is 00:53:12 I don't agree with that take. Yes. I don't know who the fuck decided. That is a really interesting thing that I've sort of lost, uh, as the more we've talked about this, that the other players were kind of like, well, it makes sense. You don't totally know how to do this. So, oh, let's just rule this one person. Yeah, there might be more of like a one person sort of,
Starting point is 00:53:29 stonewalling it and being like, I don't want any challenges. I guess we don't know what happened once the airship fell out of the sky. Yeah. Do we want to ask for more information on this one too? We've already got too much information coming our way for clunky. It's a good point. Yeah. I don't want to overload.
Starting point is 00:53:45 I think we're going to say if this ended in a total party kill, that's too much. We're going to assume that it didn't. Yeah. We're going to assume that it didn't. I am going to say, I completely agree with Jake where this is a moment that you could have had this like really cool movie thing of being like this sail starts to go down and the airship gets caught in a tailspin and things like that and you have people casting spells and trying to fix it and it could have been this really cool movie moment and instead you just kind of got to be
Starting point is 00:54:12 technically right and have an argument with someone so I lightly agreeing with you and and mostly because of the fact that the other players clearly weren't totally in on this so it sounds like maybe this one player was just like, I should be able to do this, which is ultimately the bigger sin. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think I want to sentence that person, even though I do think that one decision to make them think something was true that wasn't true kind of punishes a good role, which I don't love. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:42 And it doesn't make it so just because you get one good role that you're instantly proficient in that vehicle. It is just like, you know, keep going back to Jake's thing. It's just like, this could have been a cool moment where there was like a minor failure. Yeah. And then if you failed a role again, If you fail a couple rolls, then yeah, you fucking crash. And then that's a fun scene that feels earned.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Instead, one ends up happening is just like, I've just arbitrarily decided that you're just going to guess wrong when you try to pull this letter or whatever. I think that's what it is. Yeah. I do you feel like sometimes a player can fluster their DM like more. They don't know that they're doing it, but they just like, you know, you say something, you just throw them off their game. And it seems like what's happened here because this player was coming down a little too hard on them. Yeah. And this is why I think you need to always have a mishap table ready to go.
Starting point is 00:55:25 and sometimes when you press a button, just a hot tub appears. And that's the solution. Just have a hot tub by a built in there. Yeah. So that's, you know, because that's not going to help them, but they're not going to be upset about it. But hop in that hot tub and put your knees by your ears,
Starting point is 00:55:38 get ready, get your ass ate by clunky. Things are about to get clunky. So we're ruling mostly with the DM. Yeah, mostly with the DM, mostly against this one player. And they have to put in a hot tub by an airship. I guess that was like kind of what Caldwell was saying. I think I was right on that one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Oh, cool. It's all a hot tub on the airship. You better figure that out. You don't know how to land it, but you can get the hop tub done. Do we have airships beyond airplanes and blimps in the life that we live in? Oh, you mean like other flying vehicles? Yeah. Zepplins, helicopters.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Are zepplins different than blimps? Ooh, I think so. Hot air balloons? Hot air balloons is a good one. Okay, hot tub and a hot air balloon totally works. Yeah, just fill the basket. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:28 You can fill that basket with water. It's perfect. They should all be hot tubs, honestly. Okay. Okay. Go reinvent the hot air balloon. Good luck. The hot tub balloon.
Starting point is 00:56:36 Yeah. Oh, what a world. Go invent the hot tub balloon. We're going to church. That's where we're going. Especially super hot water from like 300 feet up landing on. Tools burn. Don't splash any of that.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Don't splash that out. There's a flush in there for some reason. Okay. Time for a confession. This one comes from Joseph Kay to the honorable, esteemed ethereal judges, Axford, Tanner, and Murphy, as well as the bailiff Jacques. Hey, Joseph Kay. Go ahead. Go ahead. I bring to you a confession asking Dice Christ for forgiveness.
Starting point is 00:57:10 I made a homebrew campaign for my friends who had never played D&D before during the campaign, which was focused on stopping a wicked witch from giving a vacation town diarrhea via mystery. Cool. I clearly allowed whimsical things to happen that would not normally fly in a proper campaign. all in the name of sparking their interest. We planned a four-hour one-shop, and it was going well, until we hit hour three. During that third hour, the steam, ooh, hot air balloon style. Wow.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Hot tub balloon style. The steam of this whodunit had cooled. In a moment of weakness, I began to fudge the success thresholds for their roles so we could bring the session to a close and grant them victory. As a result, the reveal and the BBEG fight were not as rewarding as they should have been, lacking the depth tension and earned triumph they deserved. The worst part is that we never played again. So my sin was not even rewarded. Am I doomed to an eternity of poopy campaigns?
Starting point is 00:58:06 Or can I be forgiven for this? I await the verdict. You can definitely be forgiven for this. If anything, you're like, oh, it didn't get like the moment it deserved. It probably wasn't going to get it. People were losing steam. People have limited resources. They might be showing up from her.
Starting point is 00:58:21 This might not be the crew to do a marathon session with. I would say four hours of like a home game shouldn't be that heavy of a lift like as far as like as a player. That is definitely true. Yeah. We don't know what their sleep situation is. That's what I'm saying. Or they're in a swamp. Or they're coming.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Yeah. Was it a Thursday and they're coming from work? Yeah. That's true. Like people could or like were they up all night with the kid or something? Yeah. Was there a hag involved? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:49 So I would I would say obviously this is not your fault. Like you also just like read the wrong. room and knew not to like have them sit there failing for like hours you just kind of saw honestly many people who write into the show don't have they yes yes they'd be like nine hours later and everyone went and sat in different areas of the house and i was walking up to them asking them what their rule was and one of them sat in my bedroom isn't that weird one of them held hands with my wife uh so yeah i would say you're you're not doomed by any means in fact it's very intelligent of you to like read the room and to know to kind of wrap it up. And unfortunately,
Starting point is 00:59:30 that's just the way it goes sometimes. Sometimes you want to run like a big epic thing and maybe people aren't there for it because of other things or maybe like super front load something and everybody's super engaged at first and then you lose them a little bit later on. And you're not doomed because this is all experience that if you want to do it again, great. You have experience. You've got your diarrhea of vacation with ready to go. Yeah. Maybe next time. just run like a two hour thing or something or just learn from what you did. Maybe there's like a little stretch in the middle or maybe there was like too much up top and everybody got overwhelmed and excited and then by the middle of it they kind of didn't
Starting point is 01:00:07 want to play anymore. Yeah. And you also don't know. You could have nailed this and they still might not want to play again because it's not for everybody. I've absolutely. You ran a session and that's what happened. I've run games for people and it's just like very clearly they're just kind of not on board
Starting point is 01:00:20 with D&D and just ain't going to happen. Yeah. So you just run a short. session and then you you find your people later. Yeah. So, so forgiven. So forgiven. May Dice Christ bless you with finding someone to play your diarrhea game with you.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Thank you all so much for listening. We can head on over to our Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com slash Nadpod. That's any DDP. We don't sing yet. Don't do it. Don't do it. We are to listen to some bonus cases.
Starting point is 01:00:50 Yeah. Some bonus cases over there. We're going to be clunking it up on the Patreon. Yeah. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? Yeah, we got a, we have a show. We've got a show in London. Oh, yes. We do. A show. Tickets are on sale right now, and I think there's actually not a lot left. We're going to London on September 30th at the London Palladium. Check out tickets at nadpod.com slash live. Sweet. It's going to be fun. I would love to plug my friends Raj and John, who each have new animated shorts out on Dropout right now. Rich has one called Legend of Legendarius and John has one called the Burbank Beetle Boy
Starting point is 01:01:28 They're both very different and very silly Please go check them out Sweet check those out And you can follow us on social media They may or may not use At Steve versus me at Caldee at Caldwell At Ayxford's Emily and at Jake Rogers is Jake And you can talk about the show online
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Starting point is 01:08:25 Sprite girl. Nova Viotto. Sarah, the changeling. Shy Sign 23. I'm just Sam. Anthony H. Anthony J. proprietor of the Cricks Lazy River Floating Tour, Nate P. and of course, Cage B. Thank you, everybody.

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