Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Reaction Snatchers, Grappling Gripes and the Super Rude Druid (w/ Danielle Radford!)

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

Dungeon Court is back in session! This week, Justices Murphy, Axford and Tanner, as well as the Bizarro Bailiff Jorkob, welcome back returning Justice Danielle Radford! Listen as we convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everyone, Caldwell here with my friends Jacob, Julia, and Nathan from the DROPY channel. Hello! We have some exciting news. We're making a video game. Whoa. It's called Dronsters, and it's a card-based party game where you draw your own monsters and then battle them to the death. It's so much fun, and we can't wait for y'all to play it. We just launched a Kickstarter to help finish it up, and we've got some sweet collectible rewards, including some special high tiers, where you help us create custom art that goes into the

game. We're also running a contest to decide what the Dronsters mascot would be, and if you support our campaign, you'll get a chance to vote for your favorite. So head to Kickstarter and search Dronsters to back the project now. That's D-R-A-W-N-S-T-E-R-S on Kickstarter. Hell yeah, that was some good spelling, Nathan. Love to spell. Love to spell. And we hope that this has to spell on you, that you will check out this game. Dronsters are on Kickstarter. Again, thanks so, so much for listening. And also, we're sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. This is a headgum podcast. Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dunn. Welcome to Dungeon Court, everybody. Dun, Dun, we are your Supreme Court, Justices, Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and the returning judge, Daniel Radford.

I don't have to take the oath. You don't have to take the oath again. If you want. No, I can't renounce the oath. You could become an oath breaker. I could be. I'll save that. I'll save that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that like that's, I think that's like when I'm on, maybe like third or fourth time. Yeah, that I renounce the earth. That's when I turn to.

Oh, I love that. But you have to get to know me as a thing. Oh, yeah. Before I turned. That's right. We trusted you. Oh, my God. You were my sister.

Yeah. We'll make it. As we're battling above the planet, Mustafar. Good man. Wow. Episode three. Episode three reference.

And then, of course, we've got the lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly, lowly bailiff. Yeah. Jake Hurwitz. Jake is one of those little robots that's just, like, still trying to work on Mustafar. Wow. Yeah. Tragic. Yeah.

I got a job to do. Wait, can I join in on this, or is it rude? Yeah. Oh, okay. No, no, yeah. Yeah. Well, I just want to make sure I can say this. So my mom has one of those, like, robots, like the self-cleaning robots.

And, yeah. And, yeah. And he, like, sucks at it really bad. They'll do. His name is Robbie. I call him Robert to, like, give him, like, like, the respect. Robert, you're hearing a jaw.

Yeah, like the respect my mom doesn't get. So in that case, I'm going to call you Jacob. Oh, that way. That's my actual name. See, I just, to give you what you're not getting, I read some of the comments on the, y'all are, y'all don't know this man. I feel like you need to understand that everybody here is friends. And y'all do not know this man.

I'll be honest. It hurts. Every single one is like being stabbed. Each one hurts more than the last. They all sent up by saying, I'm serious about this.

I don't like you. This isn't a bit. Yeah, Justice Radford, I needed that, Jake. I appreciate it. And with that, hear ye, hear ye, crit is now in session.

The Honorable Supreme Crit Justice is Axford, Murphy, Tanner, and Radford presiding. Yeah. Our first case, comes from Fish H. Fish H writes,

Greetings, O many mighty justices and the Fayliff J. Wow. Failed by Jacob, we're actually calling him Jacob now. We're actually calling him Jacob now. We really like Jake now.

Yeah, doing an incredible job. He's a great little robot. We have to show off, we have to show off for Danielle and pretend that we're nice to Jake. I mean, I do need to say this. The robot does suck.

That's why she, so then she bought like another one who's like Robbie's wife and of course she like does everything better than he. Oh, my mom has a whole, sorry. Tandit, my mom had like a whole story for those fucking robots. So funny to go to Best Buy and be like, excuse me, my robot needs a wife. Jacob's starting to hurt a little bit too.

My robot needs someone to take care of him. The many mighty justices and the failiff, Jacob. Several years ago, I was in a final boss battle against Rock Tolkech, a powerful fiend from Eberon. Cool. My blood hunter had earlier in the round used her reaction for an attack of opportunity on a minion. Then Rock Toekesh used a legendary action to force. force every creature within 60 feet to make a wisdom save or use its reaction to make one weapon

attack against an adjacent creature. Wow. I argued that since I had already used my reaction, I couldn't make an attack. That's fair. My DM made me make the attack anyway. And I accidentally downed a beloved NPC. We did end up winning the battle, but I felt terrible for attacking this character, especially since I feel like I shouldn't have had to make the attack in the first place.

Yeah, I don't think you should have. Who was right? Does this CR28 bosses legendary action supersede the lack of a reaction? I graciously await your judgment. I kind of think that this was designed to waste people's reaction. I think this is written in there so that people are like, fuck, I don't have my reaction to use shield. And so if you already used your reaction, I don't think that you should have had to make an attack.

Yeah, I agree. If they were like home brewing it to like not use reactions or something like that, that would have been stated like instantly. right? Because I feel like you wouldn't have ruled it the other way, right? If you had used your reaction to have to attack someone because of this command, would they have let you get an opportunity attack on a minion later? I don't think they would have right. No way. I also kind of feel like they had it in for this NPC.

Like they wanted to create like a moment where you like kill your fluffy pet. Yeah. You kill the Roomba. Yeah, you kill the Roomba. You kill the Roomba. You look at your hands, the blood of the Roomba on your hands. Tell my wife, she missed the spot. Robert, what if I don't?

Robbie's a bad husband, but she loved him. He was her bad husband. They made it work. But that would be my guess because it does sound like it was like, I'm going to add some fucking papers. Yeah. Get rid of, especially like a beloved NPC. Yeah.

It's also, yeah, it's kind of a manufactured moment. And it's like, I get that as the DM. You probably are looking at that character sheet. And you're like freaking giggling to yourself, a little rat DM. being like, ha-ha, I'm gonna make them fucking attack their friends. He's so cool. Although the way that Danielle said it, it does sound like kind of like,

maybe the DM was like, no, I think you guys will have a really good story. What if it was really sweet and they weren't being a rat? No, they were being a little rat. As a little rat, they were being a little rat. Rat recognized rat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just need to store that away in your little rat nest for later, is what I would say. Yeah, because everybody else did the reaction attack.

Yeah. Why does it need to be... Yeah, why does it need to be every single person? It's just they miss it and then maybe you do it as another... I literally don't have a reaction. Yeah. Like, you can't make me do anything. Yeah.

To play Ractal Keshe's advocate, I will say that using this ability is a... It costs three action points for your legendary action. So I understand why the DM was just like, nobody wanted to work on everyone. Yeah. But then that means the DM fucked up extra. It doesn't take three actions to freaking rewrite the book, Caldwell. And that's what they would need to do, Frank. Exactly.

This DM is a rat. Well, actually, my bad guy has another legendary action where he changes the rules of the game. Oh. Oh, that's a cool back. That's sweet. Can I just say rock tall catch looks awesome. He's a really cool. Is he a bone guy?

He's like, how to describe him. He's got like swords pierced through him along his spine. Oh, he's got a tail. He's got wings. He's got it all going on. He's like a real nasty looking demon. Does that mean we're on his side of him? But he doesn't just create reactions.

You know? No, no, he doesn't. Can he give you a reaction? He cannot. I mean, I feel like I do worship him now. Yeah. So I think he can. He's got swords coming out the ass and he's never reactions.

Yes, I think you're wrong. I think you were wrong. Yeah, we're all with this player. We're all against this DM. What about if the DM is overrun with bickering Roombas? Oh. Roombas clean up his ratness. A Lion King Stampede.

Yeah. Oh. Rumbas. Yeah. Yeah. That is a great. Yeah. And you've got no reaction to defend yourself.

Yeah. And I mean, unless they're all Robbie's and then you do need his wife to kind of like shepherd them through. Like kind of go on the sides. Like, okay, guys, and then, you know, go over this way. I think that's how shepherd dogs work. I don't know stuff. Danielle, we have another show we do sometimes called Surprise Round where we have these like insane hypotheticals that we ask people. And I do want to know how many Roombas would it take for you to be scared of them?

Like, how many rumors would you need to see in a room for you to be like, I'm getting out of here? I think, I think, that's really. Yeah, that's really hard. Are they advancing or are they in spaces? Advancing. Are they all moving like large cockroaches? Yeah, that's kind of... I think they're, they're, like, doing their job,

but, like, they are kind of, like, always sort of... They come towards you and then they go back. So they're, like, kind of almost spiraling towards you in a way. So I already have that happen with two of them all the time. So I think... And that's, it is unsettling. So I think... So you've been training for this.

All my life. All my life. All my life I had to fight. I think five. I think that's the level. That's so funny. I literally just thought of it for myself and I was pulling a five. Yeah, I think five is like,

I said specifically in my head, what is the amount where when I walked into the room, I stowed on a chair. Yeah. Five can flank you. Five will surround you quick. I'm not even thinking of like a danger sense. I'm thinking of it is more of like,

if I walk in and there's five Roombos that are like kind of aggressive, I'm like, someone programmed these Roombos. They're cleaning this so urgently. Yeah, yeah. There's something going on here. And I need to not be here. There's a gal there's a gal here this afternoon. Yeah, I guess I'm thinking of it as like pets.

Like if I go into a room and there's five cats, I love cats. That's too many cats per one room. Well, I disagree. Respect. We are sitting at four. No, I mean like in one room though. Like that you enter a room and there's five of them and they're just staring at you and you don't know them. You're talking about Emily's heaven.

Emily walks in, she's like, not enough cats. You're talking about my every single night. Also, MIRF's heaven. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. We see a weird cat coffee shop on Instagram and then we go to there. I will say you guys are the four indoor cats and that's good.

But like sometimes I'll be peeing in your bathroom and I'll see like five outdoor cats just staring at me. This is what I'm saying. Stranger cats. When I like walk into the house and like 12 cats get out of my way, I'm like, oh, sorry. As you were. Yeah. As you were everybody. Well, they're testing you to see if you're good and you go to heaven.

Yeah. You're weighing your divine soul. I spade one on my way in. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Yeah, I do think there's something about the five Roombas where I'm like, oh, you guys are preparing for something. Like I'm in your way.

Excuse me. It's like if there were five butlers in a room, I'd be like, whoa, okay. Sorry. I'll come back later. I think it turns into like a rat infestation and I stand on a chair. Actually, if it's five, I'm like, I can be the alpha. I can lead this room for revolution. You're like, if I walk in with enough confidence, they will all follow me.

Yeah. Then one large Roomba rolls over my tone. Like, okay, you're the alpha. You're the alpha. Just let me be part of the app. I just get worried that I have like a mustard stain on me somewhere. And then I'm going to get like totally consumed. Yeah, they want to eat me.

Has there been any reports in this world of a Roomba being used to clean up after a murder? I was wondering that. That'd be so lazy. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You need to get up the, like, blood. I think you need to drop that after that. Yeah. Maybe Dexter uses them in the new Dexter. I haven't seen it. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the punishment here is that you are going into a Roomba infested room and you're Five or four rooms. Five or more. Okay.

And they're programmed. They're programmed to kill. Yeah. Ten. Okay. Program to kill. All right, cool. Yeah, they're programmed to stub every toe.

Yeah. They're set past dust. They're set to kill. And you can't use your reaction. So ordered. Our next case comes from Lucas P. Lucas writes, to the Supreme Justices and whatever miscellaneous people happen to be around. It's Jacob, motherfucker.

I bring you the case of the hungover hound. A few years ago, I was playing. playing in a game as an anthropomorphic corgi cleric. We were role-playing a night of carousing after a successful dungeon raid. And I mentioned that my introverted character just had a glass of wine and went to bed. We were ambushed that night. And the DM, mid-ambush, ruled that I was suffering a level of exhaustion because wine is made out of grapes. And grapes are poisonous dogs.

Oh, no. This exhaustion directly led to my character being kidnapped, so I needed to partially sit out the next session. No. No. Everything ended up working out since my fellow party members came to my rescue. But to this day, me and the DM have arguments about the exact level of bullshit this ruling was. In my view, once your world building is whimsical enough to include a walking, talking, corgi. You're inhabiting a world where real-world canine dietary restrictions shouldn't be considered, let alone enforced.

To my DM, this is a completely logical move, as they were merely providing consequences for my actions. And they insist that grapes being dog poison is common not. knowledge. So I should have seen it coming. If you have a dog, it's coming on the horse. Yeah, I straight up didn't know that. I definitely didn't know that. It's what I'm finding out about lilies. Like, yeah, cats. I feed grapes. I feed grapes to dogs all the time. Just as I don't. I always have a pocket full of grapes. I did. I found this out the hard way because I was like when I had a puppy, when

Dingo was like three months old. I dropped. God rest his soul. I dropped a grape on the ground. And he just chopped it up and you're like, Like, you loved it and walked away. I was like, that's cute. And then I'm sitting there eating grapes. And I'm like, I guess I'll Google it. Oh my God. Can dogs eat grapes?

And everything was just like, fucking no, no, no. Right. I'm like, call up poison control. I'm like, oh, my God, I have to bring him to the vet. And as we're getting ready to go, I find the grape under the couch. Oh. Would a grape actually hurt it, though? Every Reddit thread is just like people being like, how many graves?

People were like, to get to the. Yeah, I think it depends on like the. The answer is too. Yeah, it depends on how big... Two medium grapes. Yeah. I think the person on the poison control... Doesn't matter if they're cotton candy. They were like, it should be okay.

Just keep an eye on them, but I'm like, well, I don't want to get the one that kills the puppy. Yeah. I'm just going to bring them in. Was it... Wait, was it... It's poison control, like regular human poison control? No, there's like a dog hotline. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. So I guess... Yeah, it's really convenient. Do they do that for cats, too? I hope they do. I gotta hope. Yeah.

How many grapes can my cat have? You guys have to start at the... call directly to this house. I should be able to call someone. Yeah. The idea of me

answering a phone call ever. I did, I did just Google can dogs drink wine because it's like, I wonder if there's dog wine?

There's dog wine? So my mom. Get her in the show. She's the best. So she, when we had a dog and it was a birthday or something we were

celebrating, she would get the dog dog, dog could also partake. It's like with me when I drink non-alcoholic beer, I guess. And it's like, well, Danny, I'm still part of the fun. I'm part of the party. Isn't that right, guys? I'm still cool. Um, so there is

dog wine. Does it smell like meat? No. Really? It's just whatever dogs. It's like, what you used to wash down a pup cup. You're like, yeah. We should do dog wine Somaliers. I just fucking drink dog wine. I mean, I bet you it's fine.

We're already landing on what the punishment is. We have to. So, all right, we got, I'm looking on the website now. The pet wine shot. We got Zin Fan Tail. We got shard dog nay can you can you look up shard dog

say what is made of because we need to drink we need to drink this no yes we do it's definitely there's no reason not to it's just other fruit

for sure we can not like yeah it's not like eating kibble if it doesn't taste like actual fucking wine then they're ripping these dogs off and we need to know

just my mom they're ripping my mom yeah on behalf of dad's birthday yeah I need to know I can get my dog drunk okay

what are the yeah here you go okay each blend of dog wine contains filtered mountain water 100% Alaskan fish oil Oh, all right Lucosamine HCL Natural human grade

Beat red or yellow color Okay Potassium Sorbate A non-toxic preservative And 140 proof Grain Alcohol Holy shit Dogs are fucked up

Yeah Yeah Well we're gonna be drinking dog wine So everyone be on the loop Yeah Future mixed bag Dog wine songs Well, if we do it like Soms, though, we get to at least spit it out after, right?

No, you have to freaking hork down the dog line. Well, these guys do the energy drink Somm, they don't spit it out. No, exactly. Yeah, you're not going to get the benefits of the Alaskan fish oil. Yeah, that's good. I'm taking fish oil. That's good. There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm just picture. You know all the wine mom merch that's like, don't talk to me. Like getting it as like a little dog like Jersey. Don't bark at me until I've had my one. Yeah. but it's just like don't play fetch with me until I drink dog wine

you see that at Target what with like but with that font with that like mom thought yeah the mom font on a dog bandana saying it's wine a clock it's dog wine o'clock this bitch loves dog wine

yes yes actually I kind of want to wear a dog bandana that says this bitch loves dog you got to drink it first Yeah. It's a conversation starter for sure. So literally vibrating with excitement to drink dog wine.

Should we pause and just run to the store? Imagining all of us getting sick, are people being like, Murph died? He died. He was poisoned by dog wine. It's crazy because now, next time we go to, like, Petco, I'm going to be like, oh, where's your wine section? Do you have a cellar? Do you have, like, a nice chilled wife?

It is very funny if that's poisonous to humans. Like dogs can have human wine And humans cannot have dog wine Yeah, it would only be fair It would only be fair It should kill us So... Okay, so we are fully ruling

Against your DM Your DM needs to become a dog wine Somalier Yeah You said you had a glass of wine You probably meant dog wine Yeah So so fair

It goes without saying If a dog is If a talking quirky is like I'm gonna have some wine I'm not like oh yeah Then here's like Yeah like your character would know that You're using real world knowledge

Again I don't have a dog I don't know anything If you're doing real world stuff then just the next time he play is that corgi like the DM as an NPC has to like express your anal glands like if we're gonna do it

like we have to do it yeah like we have to do it yeah just bark and keep gesturing to your anal glands right because you can't speak your fucking dog start dragging your ass across your DM's carpet yeah and then you're just oh my god the malicious compliance of just acting like a dog from now on

just being like yeah I'm stupid fucking dog I'm gonna do I guess I wipe my ass in the carpet drink from his toilet bowl yeah yeah I bark call night because I hear your stuff. I don't know. I guess I throw up grass. Yeah.

Using, yeah, real world stuff to make it not fun is not fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So this dude needs to drink poisonous dog wine. Okay. Just one sip. The equivalent of half a grape to a dog. In universe, if the dog is actually still poisoned by grapes, it would be the equivalent of a human being like, I'm going to drink rat poison tonight for the party.

Yeah. At the party, I'm going to, like, you should have said something. And I can communicate in a language. clearly doctors would be able to communicate with me what I can and can't eat. There'd be a warning. Yeah, and there'd be a word like at the bar. Like they, you know, like there's like rules if you're like a bartender where it's like the red light system. It would definitely be like, oh, sir, I'm so sorry.

Like it's, we should have accommodated you. Like we're really sorry about that. Please don't get to shut down. But like this wine is not dog friendly. Right. Yeah. We're cutting you off before you even have to be. It's got to be real hard to be a bartender in like a fantasy world because like there are all sorts of like, you know,

people, creatures coming in, you don't know like what their dietary stuff is. Bark tender. Bark tender. I'm not proud of that. It's actually not hard anymore to be a bark tender in a fantasy world. Thanks to pet wine. So ordered. Our next case comes from Sirius C.

To the benevolent. Shut up. They make cat wine too. Oh, thank God. Oh, I literally didn't answer. I didn't even bring it up across my mind, but I didn't bring it out. Okay. So for the mixed bag, we'll have dog wine and Emily can have cat. There you go. Merchant up cat wine. I want to have both. I just want to spit them out.

I want to drink a whole bottle. They got a full pow tea pack is what it's called. It's perfectly fun and wholesome celebration. Can you read with the ingredients of that? What if that's poisonous? Let me check. It's probably got catnip in it. Or Valerian root or something.

Are we allowed to have catnip as humans? I was going to say as adults. If you're over 21, can you have catnip? There's a grown-up who makes my own decision? I think I can have it. As a grown-up, am I allowed to have catnip? It's just going to be a bunch of preservatives that we don't recognize and water.

Yeah. Okay. This is a party pack, so it's not telling me all the specific ingredients. But it says feline-friendly ingredients that have been carefully selected for their safety and enjoyment. So probably fine for them. It's fine for us. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'll read the case now. Sirius C writes, to the benevolent judges and, ah, oh, Jake, I didn't see you there. I bring to you the case. Jacob, he's Jacob. He seems Jacob and he's standing on three rumbas. He's very tall.

That's cute. I bring to you the case of counterspell clairvoyance. A few years ago, I DM'd an online game for a group introduced to me by a friend. Things were good to start, but as we progressed, we found ourselves budding heads over the mechanics of the game as well as the lore of the world I made. Huh. Okay, so it's not quite well. Yeah. But there was one moment that lit the powder keg of our bickering brighter than any.

And it has to do with counterspell. The party was engaged with the BBEG of the Ark and the Fay Wild. When the PC Druid was ready to cast a powerful spell, the BBEG knew this would cause trouble, so I proclaimed to cast a counterspell and I asked what level the spell they were casting was. The answer, guess. Hmm. What do you mean guess? I asked.

He claimed that nothing in the rules stated that he had to say what level the spell was and I could potentially waste a higher level spell slot to counterspell. Their druid spell. I argued that even though I didn't know the spell stats, the BB EG, who was powerful Faye magic user, surely would know. And I could know the spells level and plan accordingly. This devolved into a semi-heated, argument where I relented and just guessed to use the higher spell slot to stop the spell.

Ultimately, they succeeded the combat and we went on to eventually wrap the campaign up and dissolve the group for other reasons. Yeah. But I think this argument was the beginning of the end. Yeah. So I ask you, judges, was I right to assume that a BBEG would be able to know a spells level to counter spell or should I have let my druid continue playing guessing games? That is a good question.

Like, is the act of casting counterspell like that mudda? or is it just like, I cast counterspell? Because usually you roll for it if it's higher level. So the, yeah, so here's where I'm at. So first off, terrible energy coming from this year. Yeah, you don't come in with like immediate like airbud rules. Yeah. It's just so adversarial.

There's nothing in the rule book that says I can't be an asshole to you. Yeah. That being said, if like everyone was just very nice here and we were just like, should the bad guy have to kind of guess, That is interesting because as a player, you are kind of guessing, right? Like when you cast a counterspell, you're not sitting there being like, I know exactly what level spell the other person is casting. So should it be on equal ground? Maybe I've just been like so poisoned by anime,

but I feel like an evil villain just like knows what your power level is. I don't, I actually don't hate leveling the playing fields, but I do hate how this has gone. Yeah. Especially when it started off by being like, they were like mad about my lore and mad about like to be fair i need to hear the lore yeah i do need i do need to hear the lore for in my world corgi people can't have graves it's that one yeah yeah that would be fair that would be fair as the dm you are the ref right so

you do need to know what's happening because this player could then kind of cheat yeah this is actually kind of a tough one again this is considering if everyone was polite right right yeah that's I'm more I'm saying like I'm just against like the druid for being like really hostile in that moment. Yeah. For it being like negative or maybe I don't know what's going on with your lore. But like I do think it's an interesting question. My solve and obviously like I'm like Monday morning fucking DM backing. But my solve would be.

That's what we're all doing. You have to. We are betting on these. Yeah. Yeah. You have to write down like you like write it down somewhere. Put it away. Oh.

That's interesting. And so then it's like I know that you didn't. change it. Yeah. You know what I mean? But it's still, but it's still a fun surprise for. Yeah. Oh, because you could upcast clairvoyance.

Yeah. Yeah. I see what you're saying. And so then like when it, and so once we've done it, we open up, you tell me what it is. We open it up. That's what it actually is. And then no one feels like they've been screwed or cheated, but you still get.

Can I say, though, that like, I think that you're like over gamifying what is already a part of the game because like when it is of a higher level, there is a roll off. Like you have to like roll to see if it succeeds. Well, that's if you pass it at. level three, but you can upcast counter spell. Like if, for example, it was like a spell that I had, I actually knew, I might just choose it and be like, great, I'm going to do a, I'm going to go ahead and do a six level counter spell

because I know what that's what that is. The auto gets rid of it, yeah. So you can do it, you can upcast it. Okay, okay. That is one of those where like, if you recognize the spell or something or if you have meta knowledge, you can just kind of gamify it. Yeah. Which, like, I feel like the DM is allowed to do that as well.

And if they didn't in this moment, I see what you're saying about, like, wanting a bad guy to be more powerful than the players. But you know what? I actually am, I'm coming around and I am just kind of like, it is just different for the DM, right? Because you kind of, you know the player stats,

you know what the DC is to save on all of their stuff. You know all of that. And the monsters are more of a mystery. And that's just kind of how the game works. Right. Yeah, that's literally the whole game. Like I get the teacher's edition.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I just know, I actually know the answers to the past. And like, and maybe if you don't like that, D&D is not,

the game for you. Yeah. And it does kind of sound like maybe collaborative gameplay is not for this person in general. Have you heard of call of duty? No. What is that?

Call of duty. That might be just like a better fit for you. I wouldn't begrudge this idea coming up at a table that it wasn't hostile. And I would be, if I were the DM, I'm my role with that.

And I think it's fun. I think Danielle's solve is cool. But I do think that like the DM's allowed to say, no, it doesn't work like that. Uh-huh. And this druid was rude. Yeah. It's all about the vibe.

And it's all about the vibe plus respect. It's a freaking rude drid. Yeah. Oh, my God. We don't often get bad druid. Oh, my God. We don't often get bad druids. Are we going to see an era of naughty druids?

I think it's time. This druid should do a beer bong of dog wine. Yes. Turn into a dog. Drink regular wine and get sick. Okay. Wild shape she can get sick. Wild shape and get sick.

Okay. You become a German shepherd. in place, slap the bag. What happens if you mix dog wine and cat wine? Whoa. You get so fucked. Mustard gas, actually. Holy shit.

You either get cat dog from Nickelodeon or mustard. Agent origin. Yeah. And it's literally a freaking coin flip. It depends which you put in the glass first. Yeah. Roll of the dice, yeah. Do you guys want to take one stab at what the lore of this world is?

I think that everyone has a lizard kind of like in Dark Compass and the lizard hates you. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's just like a lizard. that like fucking hates you and it's just constantly like razzing you. I'm trying to think like the lore I would get mad about. Like I, there's like obvious things that I think that this DM probably didn't do. Yeah.

But people wouldn't keep playing if that's what they were mad about it. But they didn't keep playing. They did eventually quit. They all broke up. Well, that was because somebody's house got taken over by Roombas and they got moved. Yeah, you can't. Okay. That house isn't yours anymore.

Based on all of the D&D court submissions that we've had. Yeah. My guess is it was like super low magic or something like that. Oh. Like a lot of times we hear people be like, I want to have this cool weapon, but the DM says that not in their world, they wouldn't in their world. Yeah. Or the entire party was like, I want to play Anchorman. And they were like, I would prefer that you created a new character.

That is the dichotomy. It's low magic or Austin Powers. Or it could be like the lore is very overcomplicated. And so you keep having these like clarifying questions because it's like, I think you wanted to write a novel. Like I think that that's what you are like a common. comic book, I think that you like wrote a world. And if we're constantly having to figure out like what the rules of this world is, but you have them like memorize.

It's like, no, because when the sketch, it's like, no, I don't, I'm done. I'm like, I'm out. Yeah. This is the holy trinity of D&D court. Yeah. There is, we do get like a lot of submissions that are like, I came up with a cool character. And then my DM said, no, you have to play this character because it fits into my world. Yeah.

So could be like that. You know, and also they're bunny heads over the mechanics as well as the lore. So sometimes we have those DMs that are like, you know, a short rest of isn't going to give you your spell slots actually. Yeah. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

A long rest actually has to last two weeks in a town. Okay. It's real hard to DM for people. You don't really like, we're just meeting and like this is the contact. I'm doing that now. Are you?

For Walmart. Yeah. Oh, I'm DMing for it. They're very nice. They're not these people. Thank God. It's a group. Most of them are like super brand new.

So I've been going home a bunch recently for going home reasons. You get it. Yeah. Because you got to say how to the Roomba. They have to say how to the Roomba's. They missed me. You had a Roomba wedding, you had to go. Yes.

They don't have a funeral because we just discussed their robbery. And then a Roomba trial separation that you needed to be there to support. And then a Roomba trial, which if you all would like to be judges for me, do you need the help. You're constantly at Roomba family court. I would be a character witness for Robbie for sure. Thank you. Thank you. I did work in family law.

I should work on their reconciliation. But yeah, so I've been like DMing for a group of folks. They're also like pretty brand new to like D&D. Yeah. And we just met. And it is like a really fun and. interesting dynamic. And like I am having fun, but it is one of those things where it's like, I can't tell

if this is your character or your personality. And like I feel like I need to know. Yeah, right, right, right. It's tough out there. My buddy was talking about, like, he was literally like taking like the train, like a half hour like outside of DC to go and like play with some people. He hadn't met yet. And like, like, it was just not clicking.

And he was like trying to give it the time and the extra sessions that he needed for it to click. Bless it. But it just seemed like, yeah. It is a true litmus test for like if you guys can vibe like if you can like really be friends with people. I really like this solution though being like I need to know what is you and what is your character. Like I feel like that would help a lot of D&D groups if it's like, hey, I'm playing like a really stodgy paladin. But like I also know that that can be annoying.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I sometimes do annoying things that I agree they're annoying and like let's try and roll play around it. I peed in your bushes outside, but that's my character. I was prepping. Doing that because I'm a rogue. Sort of a haunt solo type.

I do method. I will be doing the voice the entire time and it will be terrible. But it sounds like, I mean, no matter what, I don't know who we're ruling with. No, I don't really with the DM. I think we're willing with the DM. Because I also think it is there, I think you could, if you wanted to be like a real cool laid back DM, you could do something kind of home brewing. You could have rolled with him. But also, yeah, they hadn't given you any reasons to rule with it.

But they were rude. Yeah. Yeah. You were rude and also ultimately you relented the DM, right? So it's like you were the most. Yeah, exactly. You were the most collaborative. Yeah.

Yeah. Relented or just like gave up. Yeah. I feel it. I'm sorry for you. So I do definitely. Yeah, we're definitely ruling against the rude. The druid. The druid.

Okay. So what are we going to do to the rude dread? Well, I think we already gave it. We said they're wild shape into a dog. Oh, yeah. And maybe they're just wild shape into a bunch of animals. And every time they wild shape, they don't know what those. animals are allergic to or not.

Right. I just have to keep on drinking wine. Oh, yeah. I don't know, I don't know what a bear is allergic to. And they would just give them cabernade. Can a bear have, like, a bear could definitely have so much capering bar. A bear can definitely have a nutry grain bar. Do bears eat honey?

I know they don't. I mean, I don't know how they do it in the last letter. Like, maybe they're like, if you eat honey, then like you die immediately. But like, I don't know how much bear a more. I think they have honey. They just wash it down with Malbec. Yeah. They like to pair it.

If they can have meed, they can have honey. And they do have meat. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. So order. This episode of Nadpod is brought to you by Factor. I don't like to cook. If I do it, I meal prep to get it all done at once, and then I end up just eating something that's kind of bad every day. Factor is way less work, and it actually tastes good.

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Thanks for listening. And have a poison-free day. Bye-bye. And our next case comes from Led Zeflin. Hello, judges, and wonderful, fantastic, and wise bailiff. Wow, they got the memo. Yeah. Let's go, Jacob.

We love this, Jacob. I bring to you the question. Should wild shaping into a bug, get you out of a grapple. I've been playing with a group for years and it's an ongoing disagreement. The first time it happened, my druid, another druid.

My druid was grabbed by a giant stone hand like wallmasters from Zelda. My druid has low strength in decks, so I turned into an ant, reasoning that an ant would easily walk out of the grasp of a giant hand. But so slowly, though. I just want to point out.

The ants on my block are slow. There are no rush to get anywhere. My DM disagree. Keeping me grappled, no role. And justifying. it with a hand motion showing that the giant hand would just grasp tighter and still hold me. Because of that ways to turn and because I spent my first grapple turn buffing another player, the hand was able to squeeze me enough to down me and make the other players have to come rescue me.

This has come back several times since. Recently, we were fighting a monster that attacks with an animated noose made of rope-like hair and my character was grabbed by one. I asked a noose wouldn't be able to hold a bug, right? My DM first said that a single hair strand noose could do that and added later that the hair news is not just choking, but also actively squeezing. My DM also estimated that I have asked to try this five times. Yeah.

I get grappled a lot for arranged casters. Stop grappling this person. It's not going to work. I think I want to creatively, I think I want to creatively problem solve and that I should be able to, especially as I am using a limited resource to do so. My DM is probably sick of me trying to use the same trick every time. A trick that he already said will not work. Am I correct that this should work?

or is my DM correct and I should drop it? This feels like a fetish to me. Like, why are you constantly, why are you constantly being grappled, which is already sexy? And then you're like, oh, and now I'm a bug. Come catch me. Come catch me.

Now I'm a bug, are you going to crush me? You wouldn't fucking smush me, would you? Step on me. Make me roll for it, you big, nasty DM. It won't work unless you use your toes. Fist my aunt. Okay. It's funny to say,

I'm trying to use creative solutions, but you are using the same one. I think that it should have worked, but at this point, you've got to understand it's never. I am wondering, right? I'm like, whose side am I on here? Because I'm there with your logic. And I think this is creative problem solving. At first, at first it was creative. Now you're just doing the same thing over and over again.

But it like clearly for some reason pisses your DM off and you keep going at it. It's funny because it has the energy of it like, it working the one time in the stone hand. and then they do it every single time. Yeah, but it's the opposite. It's just never ever works. And maybe that's why. Maybe the DM is like, I don't want to let this work

because you will clearly do it every single time. Yeah. I do think that you can, do we want to look up the rules of grapple? Because I don't know that you, can you grapple like a tiny creature? Oh yeah. I don't know that you can.

Because by the book, we could, you can't grab one that's bigger. Yeah, you definitely can't grab one that's bigger. What the, what bumps me about what the player is saying is just that they keep asking the same question, even though they keep getting it. a no. But I do, I do think that. The circumstances are changing. But this, but I, I agree with them on the

first ask. I'm like, this does just seem creative and cool. Why wouldn't you allow that? This is a also. Also, I would have just been, if someone tried to do that and I was like, no, that's not how that works. I would just let them retake their turn. Yeah. I would be like, I'm not going to make you waste this over something that's like a fucking judgment call. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good call. So I think at some point we have to put Wizards of the Coast on trial because they changed all the fucking rules in 2020. So it's so hard to look up. I'm still catching up.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I actually have a solution for this druid. I agree that it should have worked, but at this point it's just never going to work and you need to stop trying. Uh, but there is a spell freedom of movement that do it's get that basically make it so that you can't be, uh, paralyzed or restrained.

And in addition, the target can spend five feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraints like the, uh, like the grapple condition. Cool. like maybe just start doing that because... And say you're a bug. If you want to also be a bug, that's fine. But like, I just think that this DM,

for some reason, this is just a situation that you need to walk away. It's toxic. Yeah. I guess what I was going to say was the DM shouldn't be arguing like the stone construct keeps squeezing really hard to grab

the ant. It's just if... You're not making it sound less fetishy. Yeah. If the DM wanted to just say there ain't nothing in the rulebook that says you that you get out of a grapple by changing size, then that's one argument. And you guys be like, that's just not how this works. That I could get with them on that. But yeah, this seems like that you just got shut down on your creative thing. But you keep asking.

Yeah, that is it. Yeah. That is the thing is like the DM has made a ruling. And, you know, we don't we don't have to like it. But usually you should just support what your DM says because they're the ones that are adjudicating all these rules. Yeah. I think if you wrote in after the Stonehand incident, we would have been like,

your DM should have let you do it. Yeah, yeah. That's really fun. And like if you can't figure out, like that's your job as a DM too. It's like you have to now figure out like a creative way. Yeah. To now like work with that.

And I think that's actually that totally works. Yeah. Giant hand. Yeah. You turn into an ant crawl out. Yeah. To me that totally works. But also like you got to stop.

That's also that happens. That's also that happens in the D&D movie that they just came out with. I'm pretty sure that the druid like wild shapes into a bug to get out of being. being grapples. A bunch of shit to like, yeah, like constantly. Yeah. Yeah. So that's got to be buttoned up for wisdom. Yeah, that's pretty freaking buttoned up. I think I'm going to rule against the DM because I think that that initial ruling was wrong. But I am going to say like just because you're right player, I don't think that this is going to work out for you. Maybe cool it. Yeah. I think we said we sentence you to cool it. Yeah. Yeah. We actually, yeah, the next time they should have to do what Emily says, they cast freedom of movement and they say, I'm a bug. I'm a bug. I'm a slippery little. Yeah. Oh yeah. You're like.

Can I style my freedom of movement as me turning into an ant? Yeah. Going off to drink ant wine? Oh, maybe that can be like they do some reconciliation and they have to watch the B movie together. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's really good.

Yeah. And then like maybe now after having them that they will understand each other. Right. That's really, that's really beautiful. I'm talking to ant wine on the acorn. Ooh, you can't catch me. I haven't seen, I haven't seen the B movie, but like, first off, like, does the B in it? Jerry Seinfeld, right? Does Jerry Seinfeld escape any tight situations from being a baby?

Well, he gets with a human woman. Yeah. And really? What? Yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? No. No.

What? She falls in love with a human woman. Yeah. And frankly, she falls in love with him. Yeah. Do they hook up? I believe it's implied. Yeah.

It's a kid's movie. So, yeah. I don't think they're showing penetration. I mean, maybe a sting. Do they fast forward to a wedding and a baby bass in it? I'll be honest. I've learned everything. about the B movie

just through like absorbing yeah or like online it's an Osmosis film for sure I have not finished all

okay well some of us are not online so we only just found out that yeah some of us learn our pop culture from you absorbing it

the B has a human girlfriend have you seen the B movie Danielle or same thing just absorbed it very drunk I was very drunk I saw the B movie

which is I think you get drunk on dog wine both of you watch the B movie and then you And then you'll understand. And yeah, you'll understand how people overcome their differences of being a human woman. Yeah.

Hoking up, making love. Like, the memes are a problem. Like, the memes are an issue. It's just like a beat, like doing that. And it's also like making the dream workspace but sexy. Yeah, yeah. Like at this woman. Yeah.

It's awesome. It works. Oh my God. It absolutely works. Okay. So this, so that's the sentence there. Okay. Yeah.

All right. That works for me. So ordered. Our next case comes from Kai J. to the Supreme Court justices and bailiff Jor Cobb. Whoa. Close.

All hail Jor Cobb. It's so close. I think Jor Cobb is what you change your name to when you become like a divine ruler. Yeah. Or if you're from Krypton. Yeah. Oh, I was going to say, or if it's like,

and it could be like the Wau Luigi to Oh. Yes. Okay. So I do like a hit and run. I'm like, that wasn't me. It was Jorca. Well, and now I'm like, now I'm like,

bound to tell you that if you ever find yourself able to look up Wau Luigi Wild Thoughts, It's like the best thing in the world. So there's a Rihanna song, Wild Thoughts, and she's all sexy, but with Walaigi's head over it. And he's singing it, wow, wow, waloigi. It's great. It's like one of my favorite things in the world. Waloigi Wild Thoughts.

Because it is a really horny song. Yeah. Yeah, and it is, it's like her like in the corner like doing it. But it's like Walaug. That's awesome. It's one of my favorite things for the world. So anyway, lock up your pet one because Dorkov is out there. That's right.

Okay. Okay. I present to you the case of the premature code breaker. I'm playing in a dagger heart campaign that's starting in a month with my long-term D&D group, and my game master sent us a world document to help us with character creation. Okay. Within the historical timeline section of the document, certain sentences and names were written in an ancient tongue so as to add a layer of mystery to the lore. Since I had a free afternoon, I decided to spend an hour decoding the majority of the cycle. Oh, buddy. Okay. That's great. Fantasy names I couldn't parse. I learned secrets, including including the use of necromancy and a forgotten war and the name of a PC from a previous campaign.

I brought it up with the GM. Oh, you shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have done that. And they seemed impressed, but also a bit peeved that I solved it so fast. Should I have waited until the campaign actually started before uncovering its secrets or as a puzzle free reign to solve

as soon as it's presented to us. Yes, it's a humbly await your judgment. It's free reign, but like you're not going to go online and look up all the albed primer so you can understand the albed language in Final Fantasy 10 before you know it. That needs to be discovered slowly by you. You're taking away an aspect of the joy.

This is the same problem with AI, honestly. People are taking away parts of the process and they're ruining the fun for themselves. Yeah, but AI has a lot of really great benefits. Like, I was able to simulate a B fucking accumulating. A lot of people worked really hard to show that, Jake. And all it did was destroy the Midwest. I actually think that you just kind of, like,

robbed yourself of a really fun, like, there's no reason that your character couldn't have been piecing this together. They're all along. And so, I mean, I feel like you felt like you needed to confess this, but I think it's cool what you did. And I think you could have been slow dripping this to the party, chatting it through with the party.

And I bet the DM would have loved that. They would have been like, holy shit, they're engaging with my world. I'm kind of curious. Like, I don't know if it says that in there. Like, was part of the game that you would slowly learn to like break, like break this and figure it out? Or is it the DM being a little too fucking clever with naming stuff? You know what I mean?

Like when you're watching a movie and then like one of the characters has like a name and then you translate it because it's a different language. Yeah, it means like, I kill heroes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's definitely possible. To me I'm like this is, this has to be the DM's fault because it's like you give the players the ability to like solve this thing. Like it was solvable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And I don't know if you're just like if you like solving puzzles or something, you sit there on a Sunday afternoon. I got this email that they sent me. The DM is probably like no one's going to look at this lore document. Yeah, but like they are because it's like, especially like I feel, I think it's especially a risk with Dragonheart because it is a game that is new to a lot of people. Like I think I've only played it like three or four times, all of them on camera. What a bummer for everyone watching. But so that is the kind of thing where it's like, oh, I might want to do a little bit more

extra research than if I was coming in and playing something that I've already been playing for years. I just still feel like if I'm the DM and I did this, like I would be so flattered. that people read it to begin with. Wow, you engaged really deeply. Yeah. I think it's awesome that you engaged and I think that you didn't need to confess. And I think that I also think there's a world where the DM is like,

oh, bummer, can we work to have this come out slowly? Yeah, yeah. I don't think this should have been like a deflating moment. And maybe it's possible that you read them being peeved when really they were feeling like fuck. I think that's what it was too. I think they're like going quiet or being standoff. She has them like spiraling internally.

They need new mysteries now. Yeah, that's the DM's fault. But that's, I mean, you could even do that in session of just being like, ah, I'm teasing this person that's going to do this big heel turn or something and somebody calls it right away. They're like, oh, it's this guy. The murder mystery is over. Right.

Of course, it has to be this person. Yeah. And that's not your fault. That's just they gave you the ingredients and then you baked the freaking cake. Yeah. I think the DM can be like, oh, no. But even if they're upset. for a second, as soon as they go back to their computer to work, they're like, okay, that's on me.

Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes when we're mad at ourselves, we project that out. And it's like, you can't tell that I'm not pissed at you. Like, I'm real mad at me right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that, I mean, probably in the long run, this will be helpful because now the DM, like, they have some rewriting to do, but I feel like that'll probably make the campaign better in some ways. You're also kind of the ideal player, right? Yeah. Yeah. As the DM, you're sending out this lore document with like codes in it. Yeah.

And not only are your players reading it. but you solved it. Totally. And now the team gets to be like, holy shit, one of my players knows my secret language. That's awesome. I can make the mysteries go deeper.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like I imagine this Lord document's at least like 10 pages. Yeah, got to be. It's got to be like 10 pages. So it's Tolkien's fault. Like I'm sorry.

I know you got really into like creating your language. But you did. If any group of people is going to take it upon themselves, it's going to be TTRP players. Like if anyone's going to do that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're probably psyched after they originally had their like, oh no.

Yeah. Yeah. Ultimately, like, if I were in your shoes, knowing what I know now, I probably would have been like, cool. I know a bunch of stuff. I'm going to just kind of slowly start to bring this up about like in character. See if any of it can be true because that is the more fun option. You know, like that is like going to be the more fun option for everyone rather than like one

person being like, by the way, I know everything. It might be more fun to be like, guys, have you ever thought about this? Like, I wonder if this is the thing. And then everyone can kind of be discovering it together. Yeah. I kind of want to punish the DM to incorporate this into your backstory somehow. Like, you do have the ability to decipher this language somehow. You are the blood of the gods.

Oh, it could be a cool thing. Like, you know, when you dream in another language and you wake up and you're like, I don't speak that language. I wonder if any of that was real. Whoa. That's never once happened to me. Really? Mm-hmm.

Does that never happen to anyone? I've had that happen, which apparently, I don't know if this is true, but the Batman animated cartoons said it was, so it was. I've tried to read in dreams. I know this exact episode you're talking about. Yes, yeah, yeah. And so, like, my brain, like, I know what it is, but my brain is also like, those aren't, like, letters. It looks like AI, looking something. Interesting.

Yeah. They're all, like, wobbly. It looks like a captcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, I get frustrated trying to read it and then suddenly, like, the words were just, like, in the dream. Is that the episode where the riddler, like, traps him in, like, a dream palace and he's got to get out of there? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like his ideal, like, world, and that's how he knows it's wrong and bad.

Because he's happy and, like, his parents are alive. And, like, he's got a relationship that's healthy. And he's like, this can't be right. What's this new feeling? And so he's in the ideal world, but he can't read? Yeah. And that's one of the other reasons he figured it out because he's like, I'm Batman. I like the paper.

And he's like, why are all these, like, I don't understand. And then later when he wakes up, it's like people can't read in dreams, which again, I do not know if that is true, but I'm going to try. Paul Dini on that one. Right, though, because there was some movie I watched. I want to say it was like a rotoscoped from the guy who did like a boy's life. No, that's not the name of it. A bug's life.

Like, no. The B-movie. Whoever that sort of Texas director is. Anyways, I'm not going to go down that. But there was like a movie that was maybe it was called Waking Life. And they said that you can't look at a clock in your dreams. And I've tried that before and it's, it was true for me. I couldn't just get a clock.

Also, shouldn't do it while on mushrooms. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Which is the same thing. Clocks on mushrooms. Yeah, don't look at clocks or animation. Oh, yeah.

I think that's true. Just really trust me on that. Yeah. You will go back to Roman times. Just the transports you mind. Back to the 100 BCE. Okay, so who are we ruling against? I guess the DM here because the DM has got to do some work.

Put out a puzzle. You solved it. And then they're like, oh, no. Yeah. And that puzzle was in play. Yeah. But also be open to the fact that maybe the DM isn't like, Oh, no, they might not be.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. We don't 100% agree with you that this DM was mad. They might have just been like upset. Yeah. This could be time served. Yeah.

I think this might be a case of time served. Or they could be a bee that longs for the touch of a human woman. They have to take her out on a date and they have to drink. They order B wine, but they only have human wine. Yeah. And you have to drink it. And they drink it. And that makes you freaking nasty.

Yeah. The human woman doesn't. like you anymore. Yeah. I see. Yeah. You can't get your nasty little bee drunk.

You can't get your little bee dick up. Oh my God. Will that be the same like drinking nectar where then you have to vomit out and make honey? That's how honey works, right?

Like you can say you're and vomit out. I was never sure for years if it was bee bomb or bee. Be calm. I forgot what the language restrictions. I mean,

what's crazy is like they make the honey by drinking the nectar, but then they also make something called bee bread. That's what the pollen is for? They're doing two things from flowers. Wait, what's bee bread?

So that's like what they feed. They're young, I think. Oh, so I can't eat that? Can you have bee bread? Can humans have bee bread? Let's pair some bee bread with some dog wine. We can eat honey. We can eat honey.

We can I eat bread. Why aren't we getting served artisanal bee bread? You can actually literally eat anything. You really put your mind to it. You're a grown-up. No one's stopping you. If it's freaking small enough, you can eat it. Go to a restaurant and say, I need bee bread.

You can't stop me from eating bee bread. It's too small. These are so much smaller than me, I can eat beer. You can stop me from knocking it out of the hand of the bee-father. he tries to figure to his bee child and into my own hand and popping it in my mouth. Yeah. It's like feeling bee bread from a bee baby. You can't stop me from shrinking down to B size and get it in there and stealing the

B bread. Yeah. To it. All right. With that, let us step into church. This confession comes from one, Brandon M.

To the esteemed pastors, Murph, Emily, Caldwell, Danielle, and I think Jork. Jork. Jork. Jork. I come to this Holy Church seeking guidance for my faith in dice Christ is at its lowest. My partner and I just got engaged.

They surprised me with an extra large D20 in my dice bag. This D20 turned out to be a ring box and they proposed on the spot. Oh. I of course said yes. And fittingly, we decided to roll the ring box for Dice Christ's blessing. It's not balanced. Natural one. Oh.

Does Dice Christ not approve of our marriage? Or is Dice Christ have a sense of humor? Whoa. Okay. Or is this the work of the dice? I ask for your guidance because I'm conflicted. If this is truly the work of Dice Christ, must I renounce my faith and love

with the shame of being excommunicated? Do I cancel the engagement in accordance to his wishes? So Emily says, maybe sense of humor. I think it's Dice Christ's sense of humor being like, are you kidding me? You make your marriage. I don't. Yeah.

I think it's idolatry. Because it's a ring box and not actually dice, I think that you were portrayed by a false god. I don't have Dice Christ has anything to do with it. The ring box is the golden, is the golden cap. Yeah. I think,

I think your love is cursed, but that's just I think all love is cursed. One out of five, that's okay. One guy really thinks you're in trouble, obviously.

You're right now. Frankly, with regular God, not just the diced one. If it is a false idol, then the false idol is trying to tempt you into breaking up.

Oh, there you go. Wow. Okay. Yeah, okay. So it's a false idol trying to get you to break up

because Dice Christ freaking, freaking loves your love. We're all of the cloth. Let's all roll. Oh, good call. And that we'll go with the highest one. Yes.

13. Okay, I got a three. And I didn't believe before. I got 11. Okay. Daniel? 15. 18.

Oh, 18. That's pretty good. 18 years of marriage. You know what? Really good. Not everyone makes it to their 50s. Really very messy divorce.

Yeah. They're just keeping it together until the kid goes to college. You just go to college and then you go find yourself. There's a bee affair in there. Oh, the bee shows up. That is tough when your wife is getting really into gardening. Yeah.

What are you doing out there with the pollinators? Why do you spend it so much time near that damn tree? I can smell the bee bread on your breath. And you know what? That's dice Christ giving you a chance because we're telling you right now, be on the lookout for bees. Yeah. Watch bees.

Bees cannot be trusted. Yeah. Bees cannot be trusted. They're making bread. They're making a chance. honey. They're killing Bridgetins. Yeah. Yeah, bees are adulterers.

Yeah, they killed McCauley Colkin. Yeah, my girl. That's right. That's really sad. That's really sad. That's really sad. The fact can we let them stick around after that. Yeah.

Well, we tried to kill him. Yeah. And then a bunch of dudes were like, no, I love those bees. He died in a lot of movies that he was in when he was a kid. To kill him in the good son, too. Yeah. Oh, he's right. Really, really.

Yeah. He was a bad. He was a bad guy in the, in the good son. That's true. He's a really bad kid. Yeah. Yeah. When he's pretended to like help the kid.

It's nuts. Fallen in the water. Uh-huh. Felt through the ice. I certainly watched that after watching Home Alone because I was a big Macaulay called. Oh. I was like what do to my guy?

This guy's so fun. He's like like causing accidents by like dropping like that. It was like a rock or a watermelon or something. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He dropped something on cars.

Like the overpass. Yeah. It is crazy because he's like also doing home alone style pranks but for evil. Yeah. It's like if they were real. Right. If someone made...

Home loan is the prequel to the good son. Have you ever seen the good son? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's him and Elijah Wood. And I think Elijah Wood is maybe adopted or something. Yeah.

Like his parents like die. And I don't remember if they're adopted or if it's like a cousin or something like that. Yeah. Macaulay Culkin is like the golden child kind of. But he's like a legit evil. Yeah. And he's like subtle about it. Like he'll do like, well, I guess it's not subtle to throw like a freaking concrete

off of a overpass but he like pretends to help a kid that falls through the ice at one point but the kid is like drowning he's manipulated so he's just like a little nutcase yeah like gas like gatekeep girl boss to like his mom and like on his way to becoming a serial killer

right yeah yeah dark Kevin McAllister yeah right that's a pretty good movie for whatever good memory I don't think I've ever seen it I need to see it I don't want to see it that sounds like a perfect again that's my favorite thing is just like insane triple features and I feel like

Good Sun, B movie. Yeah. Holy shit. I'm gonna pitch it's somewhat unrelated, but a little related a double feature I've been wanting to do and nobody has done it with me. I want to do a double feature of the monkey the, that horror movie that just came out.

Prime. Yeah, that was kind of recent. Yeah. And do that with that. And Jackson, yeah, that could be part of it or that put that as second and then third end it with that Robbie Williams biopic where he's a monkey for some reason. Oh, wow.

Better man? Better man. Yeah, yeah. You would walk out of that day being like, I'm fucking sick of monkeys. How could a child of the 90s be sick of monkeys? And yet I am. Wow. You know what?

A great triple feature would be in. It has like a sort of natural narrative to it. Okay. You kick it off with my girl. Yeah. Goes into, wait, no, you go B movie. B movie. Right?

Yeah. B movie, you get on the B side into my girl. Oh, my God. Anti-Bee. freaking bee killed the kid into McCullough Culkin's revenge the good son. Wow. Where you're like, the bees were right.

Yeah, we didn't know. We didn't know. You know what I would say is this is like an amazing first date with someone that you haven't met before. Yeah. Let's do the bee trilogy. Yeah. Put that in your hinge bio. There's better than mine. I used to make an ideal day.

It's a bee movie into my girl, into the good son. There's no bees in the third movie, but you feel the absence of the bees. Yeah. This needed bees. That's better than my first date, which is I make them watch Deep Blue Sea

and you get it or you don't. You get it or you don't. Deepest my hat is like a shark spin. Deepest my hat is like a shark's fin. Like you get it and you don't. Just like LL Cool Jol Jat, stabbing a shark in the eye with a cross necklace is just iconic.

I know we should move on, but I do have to say the commentary on it is amazing because dude starts by being like, yeah, you know, in Jaws, you didn't see the shark. but in my movie Yes, you're gonna You freaking see the sharks a lot

Don't worry about that That rocks I remember don't they Don't they like kill the love interest in that movie and it's just like the two bros like live at the end It's just the like two friends Yeah they kill like everyone

Yeah they kill everyone you think it's gonna live Like right at right before I won't spoil it for anyone Who hasn't seen like a 30 year old movie But there's a rousing speech by an actor Who you would assume is gonna make it And fucking shark eaten immediately Yes.

Wow. I've seen that clip. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing. All right, with that, go watch Deep Blue Sea. Go watch the B-Movie, my girl, and the good son. Yeah. With that, we're going to go ahead and wrap this one up.

Thank you to our guest, Danielle Radford. Thank you for having me. We're going to be over on our Patreon doing another Toil Tumble. It's bad. I'm not going to give spoilers for last year to say who won the Toil Tummel. Right, because you feel like going and listening to that. But check that out over on our Patreon. Tron.com slash Nadpod. That's any D-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet. I won't. To listen to our after show,

we're going to be doing the Toil Tumble. It's a royal rumble with characters from the Nadpod Nightmareverse. Danielle, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I assume everybody listening to this, watch us drop out. I'm on a bunch of stuff on there this month. I don't know what it comes out, because they never tell us in advance. But I just did, depending on when you're listening to this, there was an actually tournament of champions in an episode of that. I have, again, depending on when you're listening to this, like an episode of parlor room, I should know these things. And then an episode of Smarty Pants.

If you like wrestling, which if you're tuning in for the next part, I have to assume you do. I have a wrestling podcast called Tights and Fights. Other than that, just find me on all of the socials. I spend most of my time on the pretty people website where I show you how I'm trying to find a hobby that I cannot monetize. Just like one.

Right now I'm doing painting nails, which like now I finally get why people love Warhammer. In my brain, I've been calling it Warhander. And like, it's literally... You're going to end up monetizing this. I know. It's too late. That handles too good.

It's such a fucking problem. But it's just like it's the detail work. It's like I get it. I get me by numbers. It's just like doing something with your hands while only do having like one or two screens instead of my usual like four or five. So too many screens, too many rumbos. Could I get a manicure where I got D&D miniatures on each nail?

Yeah, because I make like press on nails. Yeah. I'm not doing all the rest of that stuff. So I'm learning on like press on. you could absolutely do that. Just a little freaking goblins. Yeah. Are you just like a little arm with a sword coming out?

Yeah, they have like builder gel. It's like insane. Like builder putty almost that you put on to like make 3D things. Wow. The next season of dementia 20 is going to be very distracting. Always just twiddling our fingers. Especially because I'm such a hair twirler. I would just lose my press on in my hair all the time.

There's a bit in your head. And I have. Sweet. You can follow us on social media. they were mayor-ranet at use at Cajv's me at Colise Gallo at Extra Demoli at Jake Coates is Jake and Danielle where can people find you?

Danielle underscore Radford if it's the one with my face that's me if I'm telling you that for some reason I have fucking extra laptops from a school and I try to sell you when it's not me I've never Do not buy laptops from Danielle So those aren't coming

I've never understood why that's the grift of the hackers it's like I you know I just hacked like fucking this very famous person's thing and their thing is like a school gave me extra laptops, which I don't know, American school, extra laptops, and they told me to sell them and I'm a multimillionaire, so why wouldn't die?

All right, don't buy laptops. Don't buy laptops from celebrity. Or just generally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need them anymore. And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod, the NADD-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, we are, the youth of a nation.

We are, we are, the youth of the nation. Guys, I just got that. I'm so upset with my son. I'm so mad at my son. Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, and that means. Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dungeon, Dunton, Dungeon, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Jim. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, later McSkater, Cutter W, Daniel G., Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T, A.k.a. Bownor's Boy, Hoyd's

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sousaphone cowboy, Maureen Emporium, Pam, the Crazy Cat Lawyer, Daw, Pawpaw, us divine spirit guardian. And finally, sloth of deception. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course, all of our benevolent council of elders.

You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to the after show, and we'll catch you all next time. That was a hate gum podcast.