Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Sibling Rivalry Edition (w/ Ify Nwadiwe)

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Guest Justice Nwadiwe (as well as the Filthy, Wriggling Bailiff Axford) as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at ...the table!WARNING: Spoilers for Animorphs (again lol)Check out Ify's Post-Apocalyptic Western TTRPG Kickstarter, Get On the Horse! Get Tickets to upcoming live shows here! - Naddpod.com/LiveCREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor LyonDungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:37 Yes, that's right. We are your Supreme Crit Justices, Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and new guest judge if you are anyway. Have a good one, yes, it's a no. Welcome, welcome. If you are, you're ready to get into some messy drama. Oh, I love mess. I was gonna, there's a thing, a Twitter called Six Brown Chicks Chat.
Starting point is 00:02:00 And it's like every Wednesday, it's like an advice panel with the most wild, like you're constantly being like, this cannot be real, but at one time they're like, this was so crazy, we had to confirm, I was like, you're confirming this! It's a fact checker! Yeah, yeah, so I like mess. I like mess, and you like it fact check.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I want you to just picture all of us wearing black robes, just in a big pile of mud. Oh All right with that let's kick it up here. Yeah, here. Yeah, Chris is now in session the honorable supreme grit Justices Murphy and Tanner presiding joined by nude Justice waterway we have provided you with the oath to read. Are you ready, willing, able? Yes, I, if you should coup d'etge, I'm a money way. Do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the players, as well as the DMs, I guess, all enemies, foreign and domestic,
Starting point is 00:02:58 that I will bear truth, faith, and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation of my own volition and that I well and faithfully embark upon this noble pursuit of the justice so help me gods. Specifically Bahamut. You're here! That was a really good one. Everyone always brings their own twist to it. And then without Jay Kerwitz here, we've got a new lowly lowly bailiff.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Yeah, that's right, that's right. That's right, that's right, Mark've got a new lowly lowly bail. Yeah, that's right Call your wife lowly I This is what the meme is, man. What would you do if your wife was a word? It my gosh. I think God it's only two and a half minutes and don't you go without drinking a fuck. That's right it is the lonely baby lips slash wife words. No!
Starting point is 00:03:55 No! Have a wife word! Have a wife word! I can't wait for that wife word! Is that the bell? Wait for the wife, where? What? What? What? Is that the bell? Is that the bell? She and I set off the bell.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Everyone shows up with little piles of dirt for her to eat. Please, because I'm even rich and squarely round and poor. I am a worthy... I am an unwirly wife, where... I'm a new wife. Right before we got on, I I was like we always make fun of An M would want to be treated the same way Like sounds worse
Starting point is 00:04:36 Isn't okay like the wife we got it man I got to be honest my new identity as wife I got to be honest my new identity as wife It's killing me and places so deep I didn't even know they exist. Please enrich our soil life Please give me just a pile of mulch and dog And I'll be a happy wife Remember to eat your veggies so the wife won't convince you tonight The wife Okay, okay, who I got to get started because I will never stop
Starting point is 00:05:13 I'm applying my wife's trying to talk Happy wife worm happy life Happy wifeworm, happy lifeworm. We almost honor the lifeworm. That's one of the gods that you swore to. That is the from which all the wifeworms are spying. This is what happens in bloodworms, right? This is bloodborne stuff. This is bloodborne stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Straight out of the book. I guess there's a comic book? Yes, probably a lore bible. Yeah. Alright, with that, let's kick it off with Heather Holrich, to the night, holy justices, and their animal companion, Emily, from the point of even you and the wife were, you are truly a pressure. I present the case of the PCs turned NPCs.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Our party was running a high level one shot, turned mini campaign set in our DMs, old campaign world. We were on a quest in search of a gem within a dungeon. And after we beat the whole dungeon and retrieved the gem, we encountered a near omnipotent genie. We ended the session there on a cliffhanger with the DM saying next week, we had a guest coming to help us with the fight. The next week, the guest comes in, but he and the DM spend half an hour outside discussing
Starting point is 00:06:35 something. Turns out, the guest is playing a homebrewed level 25 plus character who came in looking to acquire the gem no matter what. You see our DM and this character were in another campaign together and this was a side quest for the player. We were basically turning to NPCs in their campaign as the DM and he were discussing their campaign during all the role play. When our party turned on the player, he and the Genie teamed up to kill us all. We have not played with the DM since. Just as is, do we have the right to be angry and hold a graduate? Do we simply need to get over it? No, of course, yes, of course you can be mad.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Let's just get that out of the way right now. Being a party that your DM clearly doesn't like as much. It's friendship ruining, right? But it's funny because I've always been a fan of the DM creating a Tarantino-esque universe, less feed, but Tarantino-esque universe, somewhere where like, I like being in my art piece. Yeah, yeah. I'm also a worm.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Yeah, but you got the one. You know, weave in the worlds and I've had a worm. Yeah. But you got the one. You know, we even the world and I have had like a dream of like having this like multiple campaigns running that converge into one. But in that idea, they are equal to everyone. Everyone. Everyone to come together. But to have like to me it's almost, like, was it a PVP thing? Was it because of his PVP?
Starting point is 00:08:07 He's like, come on. What if I think this was just like an XP grind for this other character? Something like that. And also coming in aggressive, just wanted the end goal by any means necessary. Yeah. This level 20 is coming in here,
Starting point is 00:08:20 and he's gonna fuck you up. Yeah. It's also such a funny beginning to the session of you guys being like, oh, there's gonna be a guest here to help us in the fight in looking out the window and just the DM fuck you up. It's also such a funny beginning to the session of you guys being like, oh, there's gonna be a guest here to help us in the fight in looking out the window and just the DM and the guests to get your hair straight together. Just high fiving, is that his friend Bill?
Starting point is 00:08:34 Yeah, what a deal here. Bill is so tall. He left his car running. I guess he thinks it's gonna be a short session. He's looking too sick at all. That is so wild because it is the idea of, you know, that meme of like realizing you're not the main character. But you're not that too a whole part.
Starting point is 00:08:52 I'm realizing you're not the real friend crew. Yeah. Yeah. I love the idea that they're just like, okay, you know what, us and our little PCs, we're gonna band together and kick out this big 25 plus bad guy and then the DM was just like Oh, no the junior tax you know the genius here to win You know the junior is an NPC from the other game. Yeah, the genius was actually at his wedding
Starting point is 00:09:19 So the genius gonna walk you up That's another buddy part that they're referencing their other campaign in wall role playing in this. It's just who people having fun while like four other people sit there being like, what the fuck is happening? There's no idea what's going on. I can't imagine being like, that's right.
Starting point is 00:09:36 It would suck so bad. I would say the person who submitted this, not only do you have a right to be mad, D&D-wise, you should stop being friends with the person who you're laughing at. this is a bad friend. Yeah, as a matter of fact send me the genie's name and eventually guests on a campaign on this pod I will die as that GD. I will put my life on the line.
Starting point is 00:10:00 It's like the opposite of a shout out. Yeah, I knew those four players were better than me. I should have never attacked them. I know. Why did I exist? No. It's, oh man. There's, this has like so many problems with this,
Starting point is 00:10:18 but another one that we've maybe overlooked a little bit is the like the DM, when they think that bringing a badass to help the party is going to get the party psyched. Yeah, that's a common DM mistake. It's never cool. Everyone wants to do it themselves. They don't want an NPC or a guest player to come in and be 10 levels higher than them.
Starting point is 00:10:38 My rule for badass NPCs are anime rules. They are only there to die. Yeah, yeah. In my case, you're in my current home campaign listening. Don't worry about it. No, he's gonna live. He's gonna die. You're there to die.
Starting point is 00:10:50 He's gonna say no. Yeah. It's all anime rules. It's either that or they're gonna like, when the charged beam goes off at the beginning of the battle, they're gonna like be holding it off. Yeah. You fight the bags.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Oh. I'll maintain the shield. Yeah, that shit. Because that happens occasionally when you're like DMing a game where you'll be like, oh, there's a harass coming. It's gonna be summoned or something like that. And you're trying to as a DM seed that
Starting point is 00:11:16 is something that's gonna come later. And then your level eight players are like, well, no, we gotta go deal with this now. We gotta go fight it. And that's when you bring in the badass NPC to be like, he blocks the horn So the terrasks gets two less attacks That's the way you do it. You don't have it just be like he comes in 100 damage with one attack
Starting point is 00:11:35 Damage with the third attack and then he looks at you and he says follow that This is Brian Murphy, Dave. We're level four, by the air. Well, that's the lower, by the air. Then the wizard's about to go, oh, actually he's going to take his layer action real quick. But, yeah. Yeah, oh man. How was this layer?
Starting point is 00:11:56 This is actually, uh, Oh, actually, everywhere he goes, this is layer, because he's just that cool. Yeah. In our home game with Bren in the first game we ever played, Bren and does have like a world that he had a bunch of different groups in. And we definitely never did this. We like popped into each other's games like, we're five levels higher than you guys.
Starting point is 00:12:14 So we think we'll just steal whatever your objective is. Yeah. No. It almost feels like a magic item farming too. Just like you're heading up these side things. Yeah, my head cannon was at the other table. That player was like, yo, I want this crystal. I was like, ah, it is in this world,
Starting point is 00:12:32 but it's being currently occupied. Yeah. I got an idea. Yeah. And it hits up all their third to fourth level tier, tier friends. Yeah, this seems like maybe they work together. And like the DM's trying to butter this guy up
Starting point is 00:12:45 or something like that. Is he trying to get this guy to buy him a boat or something? I have some best read I could have on this situation is that the DM thought that having a bad ass coming in help was going to be a thing that made the party sucked. I think one criminal offense we haven't talked about yet
Starting point is 00:13:02 is the fact that this was like a one shot that got spun off into a mini campaign, which is so cute and the absolute ideal that you want for any one shot. You're like, I'm really doing it, I'm DMing. My little one shot, it's growing in leaps and bounds. And then your DM just came in and shot it with a gun and an alleyway.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Yeah, oh yeah, it's definitely the equivalent of like, you know, you have this like side relationship, you're dating two people. Right. And it's like, oh, she want to go on some more dates, huh? Okay, guys. But, uh, and then like the, the, the, the, the, the, the one you're excited about is like, well, I want to go out and then you do the double date thing where something maybe y'all can hang out and be friends. It could be a polycule? Yeah, you either polycule or you doubt fire. There's no in between. Yeah. Well, there's a mega polycule where you make it quite obvious to everyone involved.
Starting point is 00:13:52 You have a strong preference for one person. Yeah, oh yeah. That's good. That's a good foundation. That's really cool. So, yeah. I think we're all on the player side here. Yeah, this is pretty open in for us. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Okay, so we need to punish both the DM and fuck, I'm throwing that, I throw in that random 25 plus home brew PC as well. Yeah, yeah. Maybe punish that Jeannie too. Yeah, and then you know, I get a nice sentence them to sitting at a table with that one guy who, uh, the wizard who takes 20 minutes to pick a spell. Yeah. Yes. We should also shove him in a lamp.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The genie goes in the lamp. Yeah, we'll build like a decent sized lamp. So it's only a little bit cramped. It's uncomfortable. You're in the freezer. You're not laying for a while, yeah. Yeah, you start to do it.
Starting point is 00:14:41 You're about to start. You're just far, dude, you're done. Yeah. Great. Okay, so ordered. You start to do it. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to do it. You're about to start. You're about to do it. You're about to start. You're about to do it. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start. You're about to start And how's that kind of good? Like the Delta one. Yeah, like the Delta one. Yeah, yeah. No, we got it. We got to crunch it down.
Starting point is 00:15:09 If it feels like Delta one, you got to lose one foot. Yeah, yeah. Three foot lamps. Three foot lamps. Three foot lamps. You know, we got to take this person to our lamp tailor. Yeah. You have to measure it.
Starting point is 00:15:19 So we can like make sure that the lamp is just uncomfortable. Yeah, that's right. Just squeeze it just a little too tight. Right, right. Just a tight lamp it just a little too tight. Right, right. Just a tight lamp. And a slightly too tight lamp. It's a tight little lamp. It's a tight lamp.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah. You're gonna get in the lamp room and be like, damn, I look good in this lamp. A tight little. And then, and then 30 minutes later, ooh, I can't blow my toes. Yeah, ooh, it's starting to get tingling. Oh, that's like, that's like we're all
Starting point is 00:15:42 all kind of enjoying the lamp. Yeah, yeah. And then the lamp is slowly getting tingling. Oh's like we're all kind of enjoying the way. Yeah, yeah. And the ledons slowly getting tingling. Okay. I sense it's all to go in the way. I think kinky-dly. So ordered. You're sentenced to subspace through use.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Filled with wife words. Okay. If he took a sip, that exact one. Which, just a tip for any of your listeners. Yeah. If you do, do Delta One, do it with a friend, because it is awkward sitting next to a stranger and being like, I'm gonna lay down. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:25 You know, this woman got real intimate. She had to see me when I came in right next to her. I think they would speak of that. Is it divine? But they know? Because there's kind of a wall, but like, when you're laying down in a twin band together, you raise from your slumber, you're staying right at it.
Starting point is 00:16:41 And you're just like, oh, here you are. Did you like at least say, like, good night? Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I will be snoring in fart. I'm gonna take a nap.
Starting point is 00:16:54 I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap.
Starting point is 00:17:02 I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna take a nap. punishment you have to take down to one with if you yeah yeah in sponston a pot of first okay next up we've got out to the honorable justices and improved bailiff I presented the piece of the broken home
Starting point is 00:17:20 okay yeah this isn't family court home. Okay. I've been DMing a campaign for my friend since 2021. There are seven of us all together and we have always played at the house that four of them live in because it has always made sense that three of us would travel to the place that four of the party live. However, their household has become what some may call tense. Recently, two of them started dating each other, which is obviously no big deal, but they moved into a room together almost immediately and subletted their extra room to a friend. Their new housemate does not vibe with the other two original housemates and it's made their household much more tense. And now all five seem to be on tense bad terms.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Okay, I don't know why I'm too... You're doing the title one for this. I know, I blame the title lips. The tension is... Explaining in decisions and absolutely harping the vibe of what has been a pretty silly and goofy campaign. To make matters worse, their new housemate is also an avid D&D player,
Starting point is 00:18:28 and sometimes stands in on our games as we play in the living room. And I say stand, because they literally stand in the corner by the door of the living room and watch us play. No. I've talked about this with one of the other players who doesn't live there and we've agreed,
Starting point is 00:18:42 we both find it pretty off-putting, but don't know how to mention it since he lives there so it would feel rude to ask him to leave his own living room. My question is am I wrong for considering changing the location of our game to my flat? I live alone so there will be no roommate issues and my hope is the change of location would reduce some of the tension but it feels rude to change a situation where less than half of our group needs to travel to the game ever but me Oh, let me myself humbly before the court Yeah, this seems normal to do
Starting point is 00:19:11 Yeah, it's like a clear cut. It's so it's so funny though to imagine playing and getting in because dnd It would be if someone was watching you that didn't know your game specifically It would be embarrassing to go all out in front of somebody. And this is the person who's DMing to. Right, to be like, I'm a paladin and I'm losing my faith. And I'm just like, I don't know. There's just a dude 10 feet behind you with his armor on. I was just watching you.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Is it a big out of a Garfield mug? Yeah. And she's shaking his head. Yeah, yeah, how I would have played it. So that's you that they describe the roommate as standing in the corner by the door. Which is how my dad watches TV show. He doesn't want to act like he's watching.
Starting point is 00:19:54 That's how your dad watches. What was that movie with Cana Reeves? There are placements. I love the replacement. Oh my god. What's worse, the dude out in the open just watching it like a dad watching TV from the corner or just like spying on them,
Starting point is 00:20:07 like only being able to see like one out of eight. Look over in the corner and catch a glimpse of them. And they just, kidders of that. So no, this is definitely just a step one. You have to switch it because I'm going to tell you the game plan, that the the voyier player is going through. He's he's
Starting point is 00:20:25 going to stand in that corner watching you. The moment one of y'all calls in sick one of y'all. He's already he knows what level you're. I was like he's got a character loaded up on D and D. He is an insider member. He has all the all the extra is in the fixing. He's going to sit in. He has all the exfras in the fixin. He's gonna sit in and he's gonna go in and he's gonna try and take one of your spots. And the worst part, he might be good. You're like, damn, we didn't need a healer. He might bring everybody together. He does make me be like, it makes me so curious to be like, just do one more session and be like, oh hey, did you want to play?
Starting point is 00:21:05 Just see how completely you're bound to. Oh, sorry, do you have it over my iPad? Oh, that's so good. I just tripped and fell and my iPad opened to a perfect character of the exact level that harmonizes with your party synchronicity. It's also a cleric, but it's a different subclass and I think might mesh a little better.
Starting point is 00:21:21 It just does some playtesting. Undercuts one of the other players, does it more optimize subclass? Yeah. I think like mesh a little better. Just did some playtests. Undercuts one of the other players. Does it more optimize? Some class. It's like, I'm actually also a ranger, but I'm good stalker. Yeah, so you're the DM.
Starting point is 00:21:32 You're the Smashter, right? You're the DM, but they've been watching to figure out which of the players they can. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's smart. Yeah, you got extract. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:42 It's kind of, it's serendipitous that M's dad always watches the replacements from the corner, and this dude would be a extract. Yeah, it is kind of it's serendipitous that M's dad always watches the replacements from the corner and this dude would be a replacement Because the only reason I can imagine that any person would sit and watch another campaign is if they're Fitting when I was like when I was younger and I be on the PlayStation my little brother would just be watching You'd be like so how do you play this game? And then after you've given the full tutorial he's like, so when do I get a turn? And I'm actually an hour into the twisted metal campaign that we need to go back and start co-op. And honestly, I don't think you can handle it.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Just give him a we-mo in telling me he's helping. I've been in this situation. Have you? I have been in a campaign where somebody else who I've played D&D with is chilling there. My friend, Kiana, is the roommate of my friend, Bree, who is a DM for a home game I play in. She's doing the right version of this where she just chills, hangs out on the couch,
Starting point is 00:22:50 will be on her phone, just laughing occasionally when somebody says something funny. Totally doing this the right way. She's hanging. You're right because having her on the phone makes it less like I'm spectating your couch. She's actually too cool to be playing with us, but she's like tolerating it. Yeah, that's cool, I think. Yeah, she's loudly playing fruit and so loud. Yeah, you know what, I would say just on a technicality, I might have ruled against this person, but they asked the right question, because there was specifically, should I invite everyone to my house?
Starting point is 00:23:26 And the answer is yes. Yes. But if they'd said, should we ask this dude, to leave or something, you can't. Like, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Right, to be like, I'm in a tough spot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:37 I have a question. How do they float the idea of the location chain? I think you pretend, I guess lie to your friends. And you're always like, I just happen to get like 10 pizzas at my spot. I think, you just make it super. Yeah, you know what I mean? That's a really good deceitful way.
Starting point is 00:23:55 You're like, hey, I've got dinner tonight. And then like half an hour before, pervade amount of time, shit, I got it delivered all of my food. Yeah, I just started to compound. Shit, I got it delivered all of my life. The lives are starting to compound. Yeah, the lives are compounding. Laura, you send out like a really fancy e-vite and make it like a big event, like a treasure hunt
Starting point is 00:24:14 to get to the next session. I like that. To get to the next session and it just happens to end in your house. Okay. I think what you gotta do, that's great. That's a lot of work. I'm gonna put you an alternative, which is great. That's a lot of work. I'm going to pitch an alternative,
Starting point is 00:24:25 which is that you buy like a $4,000 table. And then you make a product. And you're like, damn, I just got this great new table that you love to break it in. I think you need to invest in this line to make it not a lot. Oh yeah. Because once you have a cool table, they will come.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Wait, but what if you, if you don't want to buy the expensive table, you just take a picture of it. Right. I just ordered this. Yeah. And then when the day comes, like, fuck it hasn't arrived yet. Yeah. I guess we just got to play it on my regular app. Let's do it. There's also a world in which I imagine where like the time it might take you to hear this episode might be and listen to it. I'm imagining this might be another NAD pot fan and all of a sudden So did you listen to the recent We're gonna be in a live show Wait, I gotta check the corners of this room. Oh shit. Oh
Starting point is 00:25:28 Yeah, that's our neighbor Really wants in on the podcast It's got five character sheets in his hands But really the true the true villains here, right are the the couple that got together I'm sorry I cannot find love yeah you did not find love it the day your love is really inconvenience everyone else yeah it never took a pivot though so it's like oh they like got together yeah but it was the fact
Starting point is 00:25:59 that they brought in a friend then then didn't vibe that I'm gonna buy with the house it's a fresh take on fucking up a living situation by dating a roommate. Kudos. I love it. We applaud your fresh take. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:14 However we do have to punish someone here. Yeah. So yeah, are we punishing purely? I don't know, like, because the roommate, they just wanted on the game. They're being awkward, but are they like, they're also ruining their house apparently. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:27 They're throwing the vibes off completely. Uh-huh. Yeah, I don't know who to punish in that situation. I think we should just punish the lovers. Yeah. The lovers? Yeah. They have to break up.
Starting point is 00:26:38 You gotta break up. I gotta break up. They gotta break up. They gotta go back to your old room. Yeah. Or you can all join if he and his Delta one for. Yeah, the car box is getting full, but there is room. There is room. Just takes the picture. Yeah, it takes the picture of your table that you just bought. And when everyone
Starting point is 00:26:59 shows up, somehow they're at the airport. In the Delta one box. Yeah, we all have to go in the Delta 1 box. Gary, we love it. So ordered. Next up we got Gregory Nelson. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's
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Starting point is 00:27:56 and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. I submit the case of the Motherfucker's reaction. My sister has been DMing for a group with me as a player for over a year.
Starting point is 00:28:48 I also started DMing a group using Curse of Stroud where she's a player a few months ago. We had a pretty epic battle in her campaign where she started saying, with Gusto, yeah, Motherfucker's that hits and laughing wholeheartedly when her baddies would do damage. This has been in her voice not the baddie characters. I felt weird and kind of sad after the first session of this, but didn't say anything. Come to my session next week, Combat Starts, and any hit on a baddie, she's screaming, ha ha, fuck you DM or yeah, motherfucker. These are things her character clearly wouldn't say, so it's hard not to take it as a personal
Starting point is 00:29:23 attack. I brought it up and she said she'd try to tone it back in my campaign, but could you anything she pleased during her career? She has since slipped multiple times in my campaign, literally saying, fuck you DMs. Just say, sorry, sorry. Yeah. It's just a crescent favor acceptable or is my sister a motherfucking psycho?
Starting point is 00:29:46 I wait for judgment and apparent motherfucker. This is, see, I kind of love it when my players tell, tell me to fuck myself. Yeah. I do kind of love that, but I do respect the fact that this DM was like, hey, can you chill out? Yeah. It's maybe not cool that the sister was like, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:30:04 I have to come at you. Yeah. Well, but she's also saying sorry, sorry, after what I said. So she's trying. I want to know what happened between the last session and the session where she started doing that because it seems like this is new. Like this is a good thing. I guess a new vibe.
Starting point is 00:30:20 She's trying to grow, I appreciate that. It seems like she just had a really good time beating this shit out of people as a DM and then has been riding that high even as a player. Which is interesting because I think if the DM is doing that, maybe it's easier to deal with. Verse, if you're the DM and a player is doing that to you because you already feel like you're on your own team
Starting point is 00:30:44 so someone who's more sensitive or something, it might be easier if on the DM and a player is doing that to you because you already feel like you're on your own team so someone who's more sensitive or something. It might be easier if on the DM just being like, hey, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I think that it would be weirder maybe if the DM is saying, ha ha, like I feel like when I have DM'd, I don't like hurting my player. So the DM being like, yes, they fucking killed you. Fucking bend over, I'm gonna spank you to death.
Starting point is 00:31:09 That feels wild to me. True, although Murph is a heel-style DM. And like, you like you knit up, you like slurping up those tears. So yeah, that's why I understand that being a PC and then saying that to you would only encourage you. Right, yeah. Yeah, I know it definitely seems like a taste maker situation.
Starting point is 00:31:31 I think, honestly, what has been said is fair. I think you have everybody to be like, at my table, cutting out sits. Yeah, got that. And then at her table, do it. I mean, y'all are siblings. Do that shit right back. Do that shit right back table do it and look I mean y'all are siblings do that shit right back That shit right back and do it better do it for all the brothers out here
Starting point is 00:31:50 Like you know Like like it's like it's like you come on He's like if she's gonna try and get under your skin go to her game take it there Also ruin her I love this I love this. I love this, it's fun. I love the sibling rivalry at the table. Yeah. Let's know.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Drag everyone else into your sibling rivalry. Yeah. I think I wouldn't mind if I was one of the other. I was watching you just all at it. I would be like, there's a whole metal level of game going on. We're going to get a new, we're encouraging this. We're going to get a D&D core submission that's like, hey, I'm at this game and these two siblings are just fighting a whole time
Starting point is 00:32:28 We didn't get they're just calling each other mother fuckers and fuck you every time they were all what do we think about getting Emily's dad to stand over a At this match loudly watching the replacements in the background You're like hey, hey girls Clearly watching the game while the replacements plays in the background. You're like, hey, hey girls. Clearly watching the game while the replacement's plays in the back. Yeah. What is our decision here?
Starting point is 00:32:50 I like, I like if he's a judge. Distance. I think you just, no, you just, you, you mess around with a little bit, right? Because you're like, give her a little taste to her medicine. And if you give it, and she can take it, then maybe you do a little soul-sacred. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the death. The maybe you do a little soul-sac today. Yeah, that's the death to taste.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Just kind of like Godzilla style, let them fight. You know, I'm kind of ready between the lights here. And I wonder if this is kind of board game competitiveness leaking into the building. I mean, so for sure. And I think it's okay for people. I think the fact that she's saying, fuck you DM, just to say sorry, sorry, does mean that she's trying to respect you.
Starting point is 00:33:25 You articulated, hey, can you not do that at my game? She said, okay, cool, and is trying. Yeah, there's more evidence needed. I'm curious if she's at other tables in that kind of pond. She's like, this is fun. This is fun being fun for me. Yeah, but you know, you could do some fun stuff, you know, I feel like I wouldn't recommend this for all to you
Starting point is 00:33:46 You're like okay every time you say that roll with disadvantage That if you gamify it she's she's clearly just getting swept up in the game. Yeah, so get swept up in these disadvantage rules Instead of a swear jar, it's the anti-intention. That's true too. Honestly, those are both really good recommendations. So I feel like either of those works. Yeah. Who's side are we on here though, because we do need to come down. Well, I think we have to defend the life form given right of this DM to Hoot and Holler
Starting point is 00:34:21 when they are DMing. Yes, I think you're allowed to hoot and holler when you're DMing and then everyone can decide whether or not they wanna be at your table. Yeah, yeah, I think this submitter, I think I'm more on the side of the submitter, I do have to step outside myself because my preference is for people to be mad at each other in a jiu-jitsu, I think that's fun.
Starting point is 00:34:40 But if you don't like it, then you shouldn't have to put up with it, so it's okay for you to ask to, not have to deal with that, if you don't like it, then you shouldn't have to put up with it. So it's okay for you to ask too. I mean, not have to deal with that. You don't like it. Yeah. And I think also not to drag everyone into it, but there's more people at that table. What is the general consensus? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Because if you cut the table and you like, I don't like this and all the other players like we kind of think it really is. I think to decide, I guess, even though you're siblings, you don't have to play D&D together. You always decide you're not right for each other D&D was. I think when I read this, it feels a little playful. So I think they just have a playful sibling thing going on. So yeah, I feel like I'm on the side of the cursing sister. Only because when you brought it up to her,
Starting point is 00:35:25 she said, she's trying to respect your needs for your campaign. But I mean, there's not really, like, I think it just sounds kind of fun. I enjoy our sibling. All right, so I think you'll be honest. It's gonna come down to a vote, because I, okay.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Reluctantly on the side of the submitter. I'm a submitter side too. Called well? All right, yeah. I feel like I have to be on the side of the submitter as well. I have it. That's fair. That's fair. Okay. So not about stirring the pot. We have to be in a little shit. Gremlin, but like no. So we have to punish the sister.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Okay. I like the disadvantage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm full of dice. Yeah. It's like two dice. Yeah. This weird jar with two dice in it. And you pour it out. Yeah. And that's the role. If she is aggressive in that way multiple times, then she could be rolling with more than one disadvantage. That's opening up such an insane can of worms because it would be like, okay, I get not being allowed
Starting point is 00:36:17 to scream yeah, motherfucker. I'm pointing at someone is one thing, but then it does get into the weeds of like, is no one allowed to curse at your time? No, no, no, no, it's not that. It's specifically a yeah, mother fucker and fuck you DM. Right, yeah, it's just those two things. I think I think met a cursing.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess calling someone a mother fucker who you're related to is especially weird. Yeah, that's the only thing. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, that's our mother. That's Janet. Oh, that's good. You got to to get you got a someone up one tier and the next time she's
Starting point is 00:36:51 Squeeze out that teeny tier No, no mother you're talking you know to claim this game up real quick invite your parents to the game Yep, I bring my family and yeah go the opposite way With her placements on, so your dad's comfortable. So ordered, I actually have two more sibling related ones. I kind of didn't do it on purpose. I guess I did a little bit, so we've got rogue siblings. We
Starting point is 00:37:21 call this sibling rivalry episode. Yeah, I love it. Okay, Tabasaurus says to the most honorable justices of the crit court, I come to you as a humble beginner DM who started a campaign with my siblings who are all new to playing D&D. The campaign I created is based off of my hero academia as adventure. Fuck yeah. They are all supposed to be heroes, vigilantes, but here lies the problem. My sister is a human-wunk monk who worships the monastery of Beyoncé. She uses a melee weapon called Queen's Lemonade, and to my dismay is a brutal vigilante who takes out justice on whom she sees fit.
Starting point is 00:37:59 The first session she went and brutally killed an intoxicated male NPC who simply greeted her. I mentioned that monks don't typically kill innocents. She commented that Agnes, I guess the character's name, was enacting Queen Bee's judgment. She has continuously enacted Queen Bee's punishment randomly throughout the campaign. The other siblings think her character is hysterical and are fine with the repercussions I have thrown their parties away. I don't want to scare my sister off by being too harsh with a punishment or take away their fun. It is nice to have the family playing every week. How do I stop her wild behavior without ruining their fun?
Starting point is 00:38:37 So this is gonna be surprising to y'all but I know a little more about my hero academia than I do Beyonce. Honestly, I saw that reference and I was like, I'm gonna throw this in here because of you. You let out a guttural fuck yeah. And you look serious. The new season was hype a shit. It was really good. You're a villain. This character is a villain.
Starting point is 00:38:56 It's just like, if you're following the rules of the show in this universe, this character is straight up being a villain. Oh, I see. Here's the problem though. Because as the DM, you do have to know your audience. You do have to know who you're bringing it to. So if you bring it to people who maybe aren't, who don't really want to play D&D
Starting point is 00:39:14 or are playing it for the first time, and they know that they can build their character out of anything or whatever. And you show up and you're like, I have a very specific plan. It's not gonna work 99 times out of a hundred, you know what I mean? It doesn't mention whether or not the siblings
Starting point is 00:39:30 watch this show or not, but I would assume they don't. It specifically references the other siblings think her character is hysterical under a fine with the repercussions I don't know, they're part of the way. I think the thing is, it's time for you to kind of let go and yes and the table And it's like the you are it is a game about villains
Starting point is 00:39:51 And now they are fighting your heroes And I think you can just have fun turning the game on its head and all the Ally NPCs are now their new enemies and all the enemies and their new allies and just go that way because it seems like You which I really was the heartwarming into this, you're just having fun doing it. You're just kind of have a story in your head that's being trampled on. And I think one of the most important parts of the DM is remembering that everyone at the table is telling a story. No, no, based on everything you loaded in with, you had a story. Yeah. You know, like the whole my hero academia theme
Starting point is 00:40:28 is the campaign without a story that you had in mind. So I think it's time to live and let go and modify that story and tell it. And I think that in a weird way as a fellow weeb with Demon Hunter painted nails right now is more interested than like, you interested than having them follow Madoria in your version, what would it look like of my hero academia that followed the villains?
Starting point is 00:40:52 Yeah. I had the same thought, reading this, I'm like, that whole family's having fun. You seem to be having fun as well. Just start making their quests be against good guys. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the villain campaign their quests be against good guys. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the villain campaign.
Starting point is 00:41:07 That's like a silly game, I think. Yeah. Yeah, you can't force it. And here's the thing. Eventually, you'll start a new campaign with heroes and then you'll get one of your high-level heroes to come. Yeah, that's perfect. Oh, it's the rest of everyone.
Starting point is 00:41:23 The police, you police, the poor party of all their magic items and bring it back to your hero campaign who you like a bit more. I do also feel like I genuinely think that the fun thing is to lean into the villainy thing. And if they ever, if it ever goes too far, then they could have a reconciliation and decide to be better.
Starting point is 00:41:43 You always have the option of a Beyonce divine intervention or a communion with Beyonce, in which she sort of suggests, perhaps, it up from path, but I kind of think the villainy thing is really fun. Yeah, I don't know if Beyonce's on Camille. I don't think she is. I don't know how she's going to be.
Starting point is 00:42:01 She's at the end of the first year of the year. No, she's not. If she were, I would be devastated. If I were not to be honest with you, I would be like, there's no meaning for anything. Oh my God, I was bad at that thing. Literally anything that she's not on to. Nobody's buying her candy. I was just so sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:23 She's on, but it's just so dead. And here's the thing, if you're determining, you want to try one last time to beer them to the side of good. Here's a free layup for you. They find out that they haven't been communing with Beyoncé, but they have been communing with Becky, with the good hair.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Oh, no! Because they've been saying Queen Bee! Queen Bee! The Beast stands for Becky. Yeah. So now turn the road back. Turn the road back. Oh, the praise and blessings of Queen Bee Beyonce.
Starting point is 00:42:52 That's the twist of a century right there. They have to do what's good. That's also so good. Love that. God, that's so good. I do, you can't go wrong, honestly. I will say as a DM who does, I do have the same kind of instincts
Starting point is 00:43:07 where I'll like watch something and I'll be like, awesome, I'm gonna have this kind of storyline that feels like the flavor of, yeah, mature or something like that. And then I show up and everyone laughs at my ghost or something like that. Like, oh, okay. I guess I'll fucking pivot.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Wait, what'd you say as that was called? Please, like, my own. No, it's a flop hat. It's not funny, it's just a hat. It's just historical. It's not that floppy. Why is it so floppy? It's not that.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Is it made of cheese? Can I slide a hand this hat? Oh, he's a ghost. Your hand. I got a neck 20. Okay, you still the ghost hat. That's a big cheesy pizza. Why?
Starting point is 00:43:46 It's just, yeah, you just, it's a green-bake packer's hat. It's a cheese hat now. Oh, fine. Okay, you made him dumb. You made him dumb and he sucks. You're doing a cool witcher ghost slowly morphing into a green-bake packer's hat.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Oh. Cool, which your ghost slowly morph into a green-bed backer spell. Oh, that happens. But you do need to like, yeah, you need to know your audience and if everyone, if this was, if it was like my sister insists on worshipping Beyonce and everyone else at the table just sitting their stone face, that sucks, that sucks. But it just like, it sounds like everyone's having fun except for you, which means that. the table is just sitting there stone-faced. That sucks. Yeah. That sucks. But it just like, it sounds like everyone's having fun,
Starting point is 00:44:27 except for you, which means that. It sounds like you're also having fun. You're probably just feeling external pressure to make this be a story about good guys doing the right thing. And this is the end. You can tell any fucking story. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Yeah, I think since it sounds like your family's is going around starting fights everywhere, you don't really have to prep sessions because they're just gonna go get a bar fight. You know what I mean? So I wanna say, turn this maybe into your improvised thing, test stuff out here. Just let it be fun and goofy. And then maybe use that to start a game with people that are maybe wanting to tell a more serious story if that's what you want to do.
Starting point is 00:45:05 But it is fun to think of coming up with like what would the quest be for a group of villains? You can essentially come up with such literally leading back to like a quorum of angels that they eventually someday in a whole day. Right, but I feel like I think just getting into barfights and just killing random people is it is more where they're going? They're not being like I would would like to get to the one ring so I can have all the power. It is true, yeah. Which you can build an epic story towards. You can be like lawful evil here's your thing, but they're just like, this guy's rude. I'm murder him.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And it's like, okay, that's. You get out a lot of fun with the repercussions of that kind of stuff. It's not like they're, that's what they're doing. They're just like, yeah, yeah. If you want to dunk all my 10 to toilet, just do it. I think based on especially what Caldwell said about how my hero academia is actually about villains, I'm gonna say that I'm gonna rule against the submitter.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Yeah, I was gonna say, I was gonna do a soft ruling against the submitter for forgetting that you're building a story at the table as a group, which is, I think it's natural for every DM, especially if you, and they said they're a beginner DM too. Yeah, you know, it's, you're very excited about the story of the town. Yeah. And sometimes you get so excited, because you know, once you start building a campaign,
Starting point is 00:46:16 if you're anything like me, you're building, I'm building like six months ahead. Yeah. And but the way I build is is it's all a playground, and I build on three different levels. I build on a local, a national, a global, and universal realm scale. And so no matter which route the player kind of goes, I have some sauce for them,
Starting point is 00:46:38 because I know essentially what's supposed to be happening, and then let them run into that. But I try to leave it as open-ended and as possible. Yeah, it really only come in in railroad if it feels like the players Like I don't know though. Yeah, my if the academia right there I was sitting here being like we need to have you on for like a DM advice That was just like so scholarly like bullet points beautiful. I have a punishment here by the way Yeah, I know that this is a family so this might be a little weird But I want to stand in the corner of the room and when they're sick of this player
Starting point is 00:47:15 I'm just gonna like jump in with my my hero I think that's that's kind of a gift though. I think you because you know my here I'm gonna I'm gonna ruin the game. Anytime, yeah, yeah. You need to just basically speak up and blow an air horn every time the DM tries to pivot away from Beyoncé and Mark to my hero academia. Oh, no, you have to blow an air horn.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Anytime they're my hero academia knowledge culture. They're more as well, yeah. Oh, okay. But actually, it's been four generations since Quirks developed. Yeah, but yeah, no, okay. Actually, it's been four generations since Quirks developed. Yeah, but yeah, no, definitely. I, that, that's a fun gift for you. It's like, do some Beyonce deep dives and hit them with a brand of Beyonce deep cut, you know?
Starting point is 00:47:55 Because she has so many lyrics that you could work into like, that you could use as mythological lore. Yeah. You could be trying to steal that crystal horse from one of our album covers. Yes. Oh, okay, great. I love it. So, order, next up we've got John Paul Vetter.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Greetings esteemed justices and their friend Jack. I, DM, I'm here. You're not here. Point against you. I, DM, I'm Maritime swashbuckling pirate campaign. And early in the campaign, my party had been shipwrecked on an island that was surrounded by an unmoving magical storm. They had come to the island to find a dangerous cursed
Starting point is 00:48:36 sword they were told to retrieve by mind-flair pirate captain. The party found the sword and set up a meeting with the pirate captain to make a deal. Nervous that the pirate might try to take the sword by force, the party decided to leave the sword with their druid who would hide a little way away and wait for the signal to bring the sword while the rest of the party negotiated. The captain agreed to get the party off the island and give them a brand new ship in exchange for the sword.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Finding the deal to be fair, the party gave the signal to which the Druid replied, oh, I'm not there. The Druid then narrated that. How, as soon as the party left for negotiations, he sprinted to the shoreline, while shaped into an octopus and attempted to escape the storm all on his own. Confused to ask him why he was doing this. He explained that his character believed that the sword would be powerful enough to slay the evil sea monster that had killed his family and his backstory, and he was ready to abandon the party with the sword.
Starting point is 00:49:38 I then explained that trying to travel through the magical start, this is a wild one, just so just so you know, stay to the room. I'll be back in the room. I then explain that trying to travel through the magical store, but an octopus would require him to beat a nearly impossible skill challenge, and it would almost certainly end in his death. He said he understood, and he was going to try anyways. Predictably, the skill challenge ended with the sword wielding octopus being smashed
Starting point is 00:50:03 against the rocks that he attempted to abandon his crew. Panicking, I then begin to describe the rest of the party, how they noticed their unconscious druid floating just offshore. They dove in after him and brought him back to consciousness. When the party questioned him about what happened, he said he had gone out into the water to flank the pirate captain from behind, when he was pulled out to see by the storm. Our cleric then asked to roll an insight check to see if he was lying. The druid then accused the cleric of metagaming.
Starting point is 00:50:36 I have no idea. He wouldn't have no reason to believe him. And the cleric was only asking for the role because he had known what really happened outside of the game. This was the character, Clarex III, a reception and he immediately backed down and said he didn't have to make the role. I disagreed and made the druid role a deception check, but grudgingly, the druid rolled a not one.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Ha, ha, ha! Was I wrong for making the druid role after the cleric said he didn't have to? Did I go too far to kill the vibe or was I in the right to stick up for my friend who is new to dnd I throw myself at the mercy of the car. No. Oh boy, what age is this is the juicide one?
Starting point is 00:51:14 This is the juicide one because this is a lot going on. You have only supported that dumb action. Yeah. You did it. That druid's life. Yeah, you're truly a hero because I straight up would have clapped that dru action. You did it. You did it. That drew its life. Yeah, you truly hero. Because I straight up would have clapped that through. Yes, I would have.
Starting point is 00:51:29 As soon as you were like, the storm will probably kill you and they're like, I understand the risk. I'm like, sweet. They're dead. That was me telling you. Great, you keep, you have the waves keep tossing you back and forth and derogged. They're taking death saves, death saves, death saves,
Starting point is 00:51:43 perma-dead. You killing yourself on the sword. Your body floats back to the shore with a sword of gifts on top of it. You are skewered in perma dead. Even revivify would not save you. Here's the thing, you're not wrong for that. As a matter of fact, I think that was in a weird way. The drool was right.
Starting point is 00:52:02 I do think that the priest had no, he's right. The priest had no reason to doubt him, which is why I think the DM did the smart move of what should have happened, where it's like, you're right, do a deception check because it's, I feel like it played out like it should because for better or worse, that Druid is right. They were, that was the plan.
Starting point is 00:52:24 They had no reason to do it. But you did the right thing as a DM by being like, you're right, roll deception. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, everything, you did everything right. Everything happened as it should as far as I'm concerned. And the guys were sitting there being like,
Starting point is 00:52:40 I don't wanna tell this story. I don't wanna tell this story of you just lying and everyone knows you're lying, but we all have to pretend like you're not lying. I'm just gonna to tell this story. I don't want to tell this story of you just lying and everyone knows you're lying, but we all have to pretend like you're not lying. I'm just gonna give you a nap. You have passive insight. So you would probably know, honestly, if a German is lying.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Like, they're not gonna be terrible. But I'm like, oh, charismatic. Also, he, like, here's the thing, because it's like, okay, cool, speaking of a meta game, why did you tell your party you were like? Like, if you're gonna, if you're doing that type of, if you're in the character, you send a note to your DM,
Starting point is 00:53:11 you let them know what's good, let them know what's happening. And then, if you, and then the DM will have been, said you'll know back this as you will probably die. And you will, for some reason go, I'm still gonna do it. It's so, it's so not fun to be at the table and you have to play dumb. If for no reason too.
Starting point is 00:53:32 It's one thing if it's like, I don't know, a character's doing a backstory thing or something and you should get to roll for it or they should have to roll a deception check or something like that. A challenge is that. Pretend that things don't happen. But let's find out if it works or not.
Starting point is 00:53:47 I feel like I'm not even opposed to the druid trying to escape with a sword. That feels motivated by their backstory. It's maybe a bad move, but I can get behind it a little bit. But doubling down on the lie afterwards after you got caught, essentially, after you made everybody watch your little trick, and then it failed. He just instantly grabbed the sword again and run away. Yeah, definitely.
Starting point is 00:54:09 You should always have to roll the deception check if you're lying to the parties. It's Tim Robinson behavior. It's hot again. It truly does feel like a... Oh my God, it's so intense. Because it's like, did you leave any breadclarbs for your party? That's this that you weren't even thinking about this, that your backstory, or were you like,
Starting point is 00:54:30 this would be kind of funny. I think they left the sword with this main hack. It is so, it is so insane. It's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, so, it's so, it's so, it's so, all came up with this thing. And then when they've executed their part of the plan, cut to the druid, oh, I'm not there. He's also, yeah. This is the worst curse sword narrative in history, right? Because we're talking about anime and stuff.
Starting point is 00:54:54 The cursed sword, the way cursed sword stories work. We're always awesome because it's always like, you take the sword, it does give you the power to kill the bad guy, but then you yourself become the bad guy. But this is just, I have the curse sword. I probably can't use it because I'm a druid. I jump in the water. I get knocked out. My friends find me. I lie to them. You're like half octopus morph while you're saying this. Imagineing arthus for more crap three.
Starting point is 00:55:21 He's like, I have frostmourn and just like a single grunt kick his ass. Just like, oh, who's there taking that piece? Just not even to get a sword to cut. Just not even she think it just holding it, like you're holding a pot, Chris. I'm just imagining it. Oh, I gotta bring this to someone who knows how to use it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Just laying on the bridge, breathing heavily, bruised up. I was trying to flake the bar. And you got that tired from swimming? Yeah, you're not octopus. You just got knocked unconscious by C-rox, and you're just gonna pull off a perfect lie. Oh my god, how much ink do you think this dude was spilling? Oh, so beat up. Oh my gosh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Yeah, that was perfect. Everything that should have happened happened now. Yeah, the person's source is like, I don't even want this guy. Yeah, it's like, what is, and what was the plan like, how far is this nemesis? So you're just gonna take like three sessions to swim?
Starting point is 00:56:28 Yeah. Okay, so you're like, demon two different papers. Yeah. That like, I'm the special player syndrome being like, I'm gonna have my own scene here, and no one else knows about it. Is it so, no one else at the table likes it? No one else at the table likes it. No one else at the table likes it.
Starting point is 00:56:45 I promise you. So we're all on the player side here. We're against the druid of the game. Yeah, so we have the punters, the druids. Although I do agree with iffy, it is kind of meta gaming to ask for the insight check because there is no reason. But again, it all worked out because
Starting point is 00:57:01 it has to roll deception check. So here's the one thing about the indeed you can just find literally anything. Yeah. You could have been like, something about the way you're saying this makes the priest not want to trust it. Totally. Can I roll inside?
Starting point is 00:57:17 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because it is very suspect. Like, why did you go out in the your drool? Why did you change the plan? You went out to the magic storm as like a character that can summon storms. Yeah, yeah, why did you do that?
Starting point is 00:57:30 You wanted to flink the this guy as an octopus? Nah. Yeah, that's true. That's really the technical question. Like were they still an octopus form when this was all happening? It's very funny to me. I think they were, but I would prefer to picture that way.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Yeah. Just like a cleric cradling, a nearly dead octopus. That was just so funny, just the bamboozlement of the whole table to like hand this off to the drood, not knowing that this was about to happen. Like, yeah, oh, this is gonna be a great plan. There's just like, I run away. I'm sorry, what's happening?
Starting point is 00:58:07 And it also like that it relates to something that no one else has prior knowledge to, that they're all learning in the moment. You what? Because why? Do I see mustard? Just like octopus with a sword going into the water. So dumb.
Starting point is 00:58:22 No, I said the DM a lot of emails about my backstory. They didn't respond, but I see him. This is okay. Because for what is worse, not the most like the best seafaring monster, like why aren't you a whale that you swallow the sword and just go. Ooh, yeah. Wow, that'd be a sick attack. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Just vomiting swords. Woh, vomiting swords. Woh, that's a blowhole. Yeah. That's a good spell. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wet soaking wet being like guys I was trying to fly it really does feel like I was trying to fly you're so beat up and wet I was trying to fly I'm better captain
Starting point is 00:59:14 I wasn't a plan why is your dv8 from the plan we had it was going to play I'm always flanking people you made me in I'm a druid we Flanked You gotta believe me roll a deception check Yeah, why would you you're why would the derby mad you're lying to the party an insane story and the meeting roll a deception check That's what happens you're also bad at lying. You probably don't have good charisma. Yeah. Yeah. She we replaced this druid with an actual octopus
Starting point is 00:59:51 They're pretty smart Yeah, you teach an octopus to roll don't octopus is mechanically have to get wet a lot though So you need someone in your party. Yeah, you're gonna be a little tough That's okay like you know the octopus who decides the... If you can be the person who holds the bucket. That's great. They can be the spritzer. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:11 All of your spell slots are going to create water. They're the spritzer. The spritzer. The spritzer. The spritzer. That your party's going to love. Octopus is going to form little cities. Did you know that?
Starting point is 01:00:21 Yeah, it's great. Yeah, you truly let this person off easy, because I know so many DMs who's like, all right, you went into the magical water, you and Kirsta, you cannot get out of octopus form. Yeah. Oh! Stick them in a morphe.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Oh, that's fine. Oh, yeah, what was the dude from? Tobias. Tobias, that got stuck to the hawk. Yeah. You shoulda Tobias to the spirit. Oilers for animals three. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:48 How do you really? It's going to the description. It's really. All off-dies since... Okay. Okay. Then shall we over to church? Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Shall we to church? Shall we to church? Shall we to church? If you, since you are a judge, you are also clergyman. Okay. Are you comfortable with that politically? Yes, okay, great. It's a full pack, I can't.
Starting point is 01:01:11 I'm the, the, the sandwiching of, of church instinct. Okay, yeah. I don't want to keep it separate. I want it up against each other. He and the church instinct. And the meat is justice. Yes. Separate, but eaten together and one delicious bite.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Yeah, yeah. Which is also the body and blood of bones. Okay, Jacobi says, Dude, this is, I think, a really, a really naughty one. I mean, it's just like a bad, okay. Okay, okay. Listen, if you're freaking nanny, if you're a nanny and you're listening to this, get out of the room. If you're freaking nanny, if you're a nanny and you're listening
Starting point is 01:01:45 to this, get out of the room. If you're a nanny, it's gonna rile you up. Yeah. Get a right. I don't need a riled up nanny on my head. Get those tut-tut fingers out of here. Yeah. Okay. Take a beer, rights, to the magnanimous, humble judges. I present the, with a confession of a flubbed spell slot. I've been playing with my group for years now, and as such, we have rotated through DMs quite a bit to keep things fresh because our styles vary greatly. One night our game was DM'd by one of my more ruthless friends. Our party had just stolen the deck of many things from a baron, but we got caught on our way out, with our party warlock held by the throat. Over a banisterister our party could only watch in horror
Starting point is 01:02:27 as we exhausted all of our abilities and spell slots entering the manner. I wanted to cast Mistystep to teleport behind the Baron and wrestle my friend from his grasp, but after realizing I didn't have the spell slot to make the maneuver I decided, ah fuck it, it'll look cool as hell if it works. And even though it did, look cool as hell because my little cold-bulb sorcerer somehow succeeded the strength check to wrestle my boyfriend and escape, I was left at the end of the session watching the barren's manor burn to rubble in the distance as we rode away, feeling like I had dragged a knife through the canvas of our world.
Starting point is 01:03:03 I await your judgment. So this person lied about having a spell snack. through the canvas of our world. I await your judgment. You know, so this person lied about having a spouse lie. You've already punished yourself because that rat is hell moment was stolen from you. You just feel guilty. Yeah. And let that be a lesson to all of us.
Starting point is 01:03:16 That if you mean, manufacture rat is hell moments, it will cease to be rat is hell. Yeah. I'm on the other side of that. No, every D&D show you've watched online has done that in some way. I'm gonna break the seal, I'm not gonna lie to you,
Starting point is 01:03:30 I'm gonna keep it funky. Because we're all telling a story at the table. And if it's best for the story and it's not cheesing in a way that is breaking the game just cause you want it too, but if you want to tell the best story sometimes, we do a little flub and I look at it as an anime moment. Okay. Can I twist that further?
Starting point is 01:03:49 Yeah, I feel like that anime moment works, but like I think you got a bargain for it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I agree. That's what I feel. I feel, because I think just making up spell slots.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Just for that, that's not so good for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you could ask the moment you're sitting there, I don't know what you were, maybe a sorcerer. Yeah, maybe you are, you're in a desperate moment, the DMs probably in the mood to bargain. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:12 And they're probably like, all right, I'll, if you do this crazy thing, take this crazy bad thing. Right, yeah. Ultimately, at the end of the day, what happened was they grabbed the Baron or whatever the bad got. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:24 So it's like, did you have to misty step to do that? I wonder if there's some other athletics checker or something like that. You can throw a goblet. Because the big thing was your little cold ball succeeding on this athletics check. So I think this was all within, you could have had your anime moment.
Starting point is 01:04:41 It just had to have been agreed upon. And I think everybody would have been pumped. Yeah. And a DM loves nothing more than a bargain. Just like watch their lips lick. I just want to just point that, Caldwell was staring dead in the eyes of murder. Yeah, sure. Eamy just looks as watch. I love his lips. As serious as you might join each other. Tongue work with St. Louis middle lips. I might hear that again gonna go fuck you.
Starting point is 01:05:05 I'll buy her a lot. I can get you a bunch of. I'm sorry. These are my multitudes. So you are forgiven, big. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I think that's pretty naughty. And sometimes I think that not having enough spell slots means you need to get creative with your cantrip.
Starting point is 01:05:20 That's true. Was there a cantrip in there with which you could have created a cool anime moment? It's also, again, it's just a bonus action spell. I wouldn't have been surprised if you couldn't have done some run there, you'd have fun. Something like that.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Yeah, you could have walked out. And there are just kind of, like, add various from tables, they have DM-DM. And sometimes, you know, yeah, I think the bargaining and the trying works, that's what I did when I was doing blood, keeping I was a rogue, and I usually play fighters and barbarians,
Starting point is 01:05:48 and I learned very quickly, rogues don't take punches. And in front of this eagle, and just, remember that? So yeah, and just do a charisma check because I had no other options. You know, it came out good.
Starting point is 01:06:04 Yeah. So you got- That eagle became like your best friend. Yeah, because I had no other options, you know, it came out good. Yeah, so you got- That angle became like your best friend. Yeah, yeah, so yeah. So sometimes it helps to try and be creative other than the fluff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, the definite takeaway here, find your anime moment. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:20 You don't need a misty step to have an anime moment. Yeah, I don't think so. That's true. Let it be known. All right, and with that, we're step to have an anime movie. I don't think so. That's true. Let it be known. All right, and with that, we're gonna wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. We're gonna have iffy over on our Patreon with us do some bonus cases.
Starting point is 01:06:35 Thank you iffy for joining us. Thank you. Thank you. Do you have anything you would like to pluv? Oh, yeah! As I guess, I'll pluv some stuff. If you wadi way on Twitter and Instagram, I'll always see what I'm doing. Shows in your area. There are hot comics in your area and they want to jump
Starting point is 01:06:50 It is me they want to get in a tiny lot with you If you like if you like movies maximum film on the maximum fun network and if you like this tabletop stuff Which I'm assuming you do would be weird if you didn't. I just started to get on the horse new thing with my friend Anika Sealy where we're gonna be playing Duster. That's gonna be our first campaign. Whoa a post-apocalyptic Western Which yeah, yeah, so it's very good. Where can you find that again? It's called get on the horse Yeah, or goth for sure, but get on the
Starting point is 01:07:21 That's good right now What when does this drop on this week? Oh, yeah, so yeah right now what when does this drop on the Thursday. Oh okay so yeah right now we have the Kickstarter for the first campaign going lots of lots of fun stretch goals you get a goth horse if we get
Starting point is 01:07:34 painted by Anika so yeah so paying to good stuff so we're gonna keep it going and we got some cool stuff in the future. I need a horse. Yeah sweet. Does anybody else have and we got some cool stuff in the future. I need yours. Not good. Yeah, sweet. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to plug? I do.
Starting point is 01:07:49 I have a couple more episodes on Critic Girl. Ooh, so check them out. Yeah. Because it gets crazy. Oh, no. Oh, spoiler alert. Yeah. Hold on.
Starting point is 01:08:00 Okay, and we have some live shows for you to check out. You can get those tickets over at nadpop.com slash live called Well, where are we gonna be? Oh on September 13th, we're gonna be at the Pantages Theater in Minneapolis, then we're going to Madison, Wisconsin on the 14th, then Milwaukee on the 15th, Chicago on the 16th, then in October on the 26th, we're going to Los Angeles, followed by that We're going to Denver on the 27th, Sacramento on the 28th, Portland, Oregon on the 26th you're going to Los Angeles. Follow by that we're going to Denver on the 27th. Sacramento on the 28th. Portland Oregon on the 29th. Los Vegas, Nevada. What?
Starting point is 01:08:31 On November 10th. November 14th. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans.
Starting point is 01:08:42 New Orleans. More like Nared Orleans, right? Because we're going to be there rolling some dice. It's going to be November 14th. New Orleans. New Orleans. More like nerd Orleans, right? Because we're going to be there rolling some dice. It's going to be November 14th. November 15th, Orlando, Florida, and finally, November 17th, Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Madpod.com slash live. NERLEONS.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Check that out. And in the meantime, you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. If you want to weigh on socials at CH Murf is me at Called this call the on adiacs for dimly and you can do that. I'm gonna change it to wife We don't know who runs the wife or account Look so we're not going to be responsible for whatever wife or boss. Oh shit. Yeah, we don't know Yeah Oh shit, they're blue check, they're blue check. We don't know, we don't know. He's the only lefties. Yeah, little lefties. Okay, I would like to form my distance myself
Starting point is 01:09:29 from life. No, no, no, it's not slender, waifurm, we don't know anything. We gotta cover our bases. Okay, you can do it about the show using hashtag, mad pod, that's NADDPOD. We are, youth of a nation, we are, we are, youth of a nation. We are we are youth of a nation. I'm gonna have to tell you that we do that. Yeah, yeah, no.
Starting point is 01:09:50 It took me back. Dunjin, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, Matt M. Cutter W. Feared Al, Daniel G. Dungeon Mama, okay, maybe a little bit sexual. Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Beard Mandan, Danny P. Vincent W. Victor T. A. K. A. Balnor's Boy, Hoyd's Friend, Justin I, Ragnar Fearedwend, TJM, Trailey the Cray, Discellaneous, Christopher B, Demul R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, another Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Princess YR, Michael L, Jack L, Sam L, Nicholas C, Star of every film ever made of Bohemia, now starring as a tin of beans and hard ones reality show, airship interiors, Samuel B, Mike H, Alka Smeltzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Adam G, Tyler F, Panama James, Andrew the Druid, Haradrian, Rex Daniel
Starting point is 01:11:21 the White, Diana DL, Cicelylulu, Timmy R, Lucas B, RICO, it's Kevin. Colder will come cold again, Winter is coming, Hashtag CCC forever, shout out to my fairy followers. Taylor be the vengeful one winged angel, Cascade board cast, Captain of the Stevens, Steven C, Mike K, Lady Taco, Joy T, Jake L, Nick W, Swash, Buckling, Swag, Snagger, Foster the Queerest Duck, wishing everyone a happy Pride month, William W, Big Bad Beard on the Mad, Eric McD, Riot, Ryan, Hungry Dave's Frisbee golf bud, Anana Ramma, Percival Fredric Stein of Omuso, K Klozowski De Rollo III, Adom the Simple
Starting point is 01:12:07 Dimples, Jay Dragonborn, Vincent Thrumas URD, The Sandrane, Ben A, Dave H, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, Dustin S, Conor F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfars assistant Izzy F, DPC is awesome, Sean, the shade tree mechanic of Zellboldar, Summer Rose, aka Grand Terre, Markey Mark the Marvelous Mining Engineer, Kat C, Kelslay, Misa of House andPerky Always, Pat L. Syvaxel, Lauren H.Talia, Ryan S. The Bone Duster, Robit CRSP, Ball Business Illustrator, asking for a request. How about somebody crammed into a tight little lamp? lamp. Ploups, Carly A, Addy K, Conor S, Celial, Jack M, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dextrous, Sullivan H, Trub Hopdropper, Sydney T, Jack H, Crabster Champion of Crosse, Scuttling Sideways, Towards Tomorrow, Aferix, Lindsay W, Juicy Kiwi, Valon, Carlin C, Emily S, Noah the Bagel of all things, James G,
Starting point is 01:13:27 everything Bego, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet Badger Stripey, Dandy, Eric B, Marcos P, learns the balance druid, Dakota JP, Frieda M, Poggos, Betroth, DeSelf, Proclaimed, Faye Prince, Tracy P, The Crick-O-Flibraryon, and D.E. Holly Hyena, Kristen Z, Leah C, Hunter H, who's super excited for the Midwest live shows this year, and we'll be at all four shows! Excited to see you, Hunter. Maybe, Pixel Stars, Akash T, Cal, Just Cal, Commodore Galaxy, Edison N, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time. Our dear friend Simon is singing game over, he says eternal sleep is better than facing Morpheus alone again.
Starting point is 01:14:15 Keychains Pentium 2 processor, Laura Lai the Succubus, and Kyra Herbusti Queen. Tert Cobain, the total bard Bar barian, your friendly neighborhood yaunt and young call Andrew and Sid, John Adams, yes like the president, make the mail carrier, manager of Bohemia who has gotten promoted due to her superb service to Simon, James F, M4L, Austin S, Wayfarer, has now settled into their new life in the favorile as a florist, what could go wrong? Barpo Good Barrel, Bard Barian, Embroer, Emeritus of Waterdeep, Mary Beth C. Melora DeVote, Welsh Lander, Garrett G, aka one big curd, Mr. D, Dana the Daisy, Sean Jay, Ethan B, Renee the Monster Captain, Gabrielle W, Rinkerbell, Hopes Dagger, the only Dagger
Starting point is 01:15:03 of Hope, Olivia the enchanting Bard who is working hard on her audition for the lead singer of the mountain crows. Winter Slade. Forest H. Aka Life is like a box of Martha Togold sticky buns. Riley S. FICO. Angry Wheat. Your boy Anthony, who moved positions and can't listen to podcasts at work anymore.
Starting point is 01:15:23 Josh H. Mancoe Empanadas. Trogdor the Burninator. at work anymore. Josh H. Mancoe Impanadas, Trog Door the Burninator, Clementine T. Caleb L. This message has been brought to you by Ferries in support of hashtag CCC. Alex R. Bunkermaster and Player Disaster.
Starting point is 01:15:36 Cantrip Dumbledore, the bearer onesie wearing Barbarian. MJ, the BFG, drinking T by the sea. Dogs of Babel, Calvia, Silver Fang, Geno T, Mama Bell, the Silver Serpent herself, Funer, Dr. Toulcus, Bouchick, a-w-w-w-w-w-w-w.
Starting point is 01:15:55 Derek D, Tristan G, Leon K, legendary hero of Bohumia from a future campaign. Jasmine and Fam, Papa's elite team of lawyers, currently representing Emily in the case of Yabba Dabba-Doo, no sir, Yabba Dabba-Doo don't. Alex K, Joshua P, Joshua S, Martin T, Alexander, Lins W, MS, Red the Reforged, Warforged, Mr. Kraft, Dragon Knight 86, The Godly King, hard ones hot hump gunk. Shelby who now made it 2019 following the two crew back to the present attempted to pit Ryan the ram who then headbutted her.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Evan S. Jake S. Pratines, Jackson R. T3R HX, snailess, the subtle, sneaky snail, Michelle, Andrew S, Caitlyn D, Colby S, Blake H, Big Bev's Bestie, Lloyd, the rat that controls my cerebellum, Opa, Remi from Ratatouille style, and of course, Shelby C. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon Patreon.com slash NAD pod to listen to our after show and more cases. Thank you to all of our listeners, our benevolent council of elders, and of course all of our Patreon subscribers will catch you all next time.

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