Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: The Angeled Egg (w/ Aabria Iyengar)

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Welcome to Dungeon Court! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner, Axford and Guest Justice Aabria Iyengar (as well as the Unmentionable Bailiff Hurwitz) as they convent to pass judgement on your trials at the table.CREDITS:Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm Supreme Crit Justice Murphy, joined by Supreme Crit Justice Axford. He's Supreme Crit Justice Tanner. Thank you. And new Supreme Crit Justice. Please welcome our guest, Abrea Ayangar. Oh! You actually, Justice Murphy, you jumped the gun a little bit.

Oh, yeah. It's not technically a Justice. Please! Do you have, have you been introduced? I need no introduction. I just have your stalwart, Baylif. Here to keep the decorum of this court.

Oh my god. Yeah, but Bri is not taking the oath yet. Okay, it was another like a senate hearing. There is just four and a half messy weeks. Yeah. So we have sent you the oath. If you could please read it. I, Abria, I and and Guard, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the players, as well as the DMs against all enemies foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and

allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation of my own volition, and that I will well and faithfully embark upon this noble pursuit of justice. So help me, Gods. Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here me, God's. Here he here, here he here, here he here. We're doing it. And we're black living on the Supreme crypt. Now. Oh, maybe. Now, crit is in session. The honorable Supreme crypt. Bealot, please wait one moment. Excuse's just like, this is my courtroom until I introduce you. I have a new tradition I would like to enter in to our floor, into our record. Since we have a guest here, I would like to give them the gavel.

Oh my God. Normally I'm the gavel master, but I think that, you know what, we should spread the love of the gavel, we should allow you to step into the light and just bang the shite of the thing. You're going to take this away from me. Very quickly. I'm so ordered.

I can't. I'm so ordered. Could you please signal for the bailiff to continue? Oh. Yeah. So good. Now finally, with everyone's permission, Cret is in session.

The honorable supreme, Cret justices, Axford Murphy, Tanner, and Iangar. Oh, feels good. It feels great. Everything you've worked for, right? I came up as a lowly public defender, and it's just so great to be here. Oh, finally.

Eclirks, Eclirks, Eclirks. I did. Here you are. That's true. We should shout out our dungeon clerks. We'll get there a moment. Yeah. Okay, our first case comes from Stephanie K.

Stephanie writes, may it please the court and the most excellent Baylift Jake? Wow, there's a reason I chose this one first. Oh, I went through them and I really wanted to pick all the ones that were mean to you. Yeah. I usually zero in for those. This person already loses a tiebreaker, go on. A few sessions ago, we planted a magic bean that grew into a nest of seven magic eggs.

Basically someone who eats an egg. I'm eating them to an egg, I love it. A bean and a twig. A primordial. A nest of seven eggs, yeah. So basically someone who eats an egg has to make a DC 20 con save. If they make it, they get a bump to their lowest stat.

If they don't, they take 10, d6, forced damage from an internal magical explosion. Wow. Okay. Some mayonnaise from the alchemy jug and some spices from Haywords handy spice pouch. My PC naturally turned these magic eggs into magic deviled eggs.

Oh, okay, I thought eggs salad, but maybe that's... The eggs salad agenda from you, Jessica. That's right. The problem is our DM has so far not allowed me to try and force an enemy to eat an egg in combat, saying basically that I couldn't force someone to swallow an egg in a single round. Honorable justices, do the five-year combat mechanics

permit my PC to force feed magical deviled eggs to my enemies on my turn, I wait your ruling. Yeah, I would say it's gotta be a grapple. It's almost kinda like, I don't know, I feel like it's like pinning an opponent or something like you have to grapple. Would you win multiple? You would have to shove it in their mouth but then also massage it down. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Massaging the throat. Yeah, but that's a good move. That's a good move to swallow. Yeah, like when a dog hits a pill. That's where your movement is the stroke of the neck. And your reaction is, oh my god, what am I doing? What if you held your action and waited until they like opened their mouth real big? Like they were shouting at somebody or like, I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing.

I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing.

I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing.

I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. on what your potion rules are. Like drink the potion if you count it as a bonus action. Then I think you can get the grapple off as the action bonus action to massage the neck and get them to get them to the back. Okay, a bonus action massage.

It's another thing. We're gonna tire turn if all you're trying to do is make someone eat a double bag. Because I have to let them trust you. I think if you literally on your turn cast command and said eat because command is a really simple first level spell And if they fail that wisdom save they're just gonna take that double-deg and eat it in one turn But I think they're not they want to let just like toss it down their mouth. They're just like put it up

Have you considered like hucking it up their bottle? What so hard that it goes into their stomach? As long as it's inside their body I think it's right? Yeah, you want to choke okay? body, I think it gets... Right, yeah. You want an egg choke, okay? Yes, I'm entering the body. I hear that a devil egg doesn't have the structural integrity right? You don't have to get through it, but... The flimsy egg defends.

Yeah, it would crack in the cheeks. It would crack in the cheeks. But you have to keep in mind that a devil egg is only half an egg. That's true. Oh, that's true, so it's easier to go down. I think this one's great because you can fully test it in real life. Like you could get in a scuffle with your friend, Shove and Egg in your mouth. Yeah. I would I think it would be easier for if any of you guys had a sword right now and tried to hit me with the sword that'd be a lot easier than

getting me to swallow an egg. But you would need to, you need to, DM not action, like a DC, not action economy. But I'm just saying, because obviously there's no mechanics for shoving an egg down someone's mouth. So we have to think about it and like, if you would normally use your action to like attack, right?

So it'd be like, to kill someone a deity, it's like you keep hitting them with their sword until they're dead. To feed an egg to them, you you have to like essentially defeat them already. Yeah. Because no one's gonna easily eat an egg. You don't have to force me to eat a double egg.

The perfect thing is properly fried rice. You're in a fight. I'm saying, you're in a fight. Yeah. Someone has gone after Jill's honor at a bar. Talk. And then you. And then you do.

If it's Tucker, I stand down. Yeah, you've got to. Of course. You yielded. You've yielded instantly. I yielded. You yield, but he's attacked you. He attacks you even after you yield. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist.

Don't you babe. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. Don't you babe. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. Don't you babe. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist.

Don't you babe. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. Don't you babe. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. Don't you babe. I yield because Jill loves a pacifist. Don't you babe.? It's just like a false true sort of thing. It's like, you know what, we've been getting really heated. I think we got off on the wrong foot here. An egg of French egg. Yeah, but you have to like, you have to like,

circle your arms together. Yeah, it's got to be romantic. So you need one egg, that's, you need a clean devil egg. An angel egg and a devil egg. Yeah. Well, this is perfect because a devililed egg is half of an egg. So the assumption is that there's always an angel egg to go with the egg.

Oh, yeah. Of course. Oh, yeah. The other half of the egg is for God, of course. I think so. You leave it at the pedestal. It's like Santa, but with God. Right.

You're leaving a half an egg for Jesus. That one I understand Easter way better. Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. After all this, I think that if I just think logically, could you shove an egg down someone's throat in one turn of battle? Think about what an average person could do in one turn of battle. You could attack twice. You could also have a bonus action, also action, sir.

Like, there are, I mean, there's so many ways, there's so much that people are doing. But if you're attacked, if we're doing with swords, you're still like three feet away, stabbing into me. For me to shove an egg in your mouth and make you eat it. I think that has to be. I have to be already beat you in a wrestling match and then also massage you.

You have to swallow the entire egg. Cause usually magical effects are like, if you just get a little bit in your body, it hits. So I think if I just sort of wanged an egg for you in your mouth, I think you're swallowing 2% of it no matter what. Yeah, I agree. I agree.

I really feel like surprise plays a big element here because like, if I don't know what's happening and all of a sudden the eggs on my mouth. Especially because if you're going to say what that might be a swallowing. Is that an egg? I have a suggestion. A compromise could be that you can shove it in their mouth, but they won't swallow until their turn. Right.

And you have to have properly spiced this egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This doesn't be some parsley, some chives. You got a role for paprika. This one does have a benefit potentially. If they pass that 20 times, they'll have to. Yeah, you're right. The DM should be allowing this just because it's such a wild card.

So yeah, we've talked about the religious logistics of eggs for so long. I've forgotten, what was the result of this? Like did they say what the DM will? They just said the problem is that the DM will not allow for any of the eggs. I'm of two minds here. I think this player, two sides of an egg. Two sides of an egg. Yeah, Angel egg and the devil egg. Yes.

The most fun, the old, the devil egg is telling me that this player is trying to do some cartoon stuff and throw an egg into somebody's mouth from across the battlefield. But he don't know what to think. The real question is, but now the angel egg, the other mind, I think that it should be possible via like two grapple checks, like one to be like, okay, you grab the person, you've got them, you're throwing them on the ground, It could be possible via like two grapple checks. Like one to be like, okay.

You grab the person, you've got them, you're throwing them on the ground, second athletics check to like, you've beaten them at wrestling. Now you can shove them in. You can shove the egg in their mouth. This is the best offer you're ever gonna get from Brian Murphy. Yeah.

Yeah. I do agree. I think that you can like wrestle in the mud with somebody and like make them eat dirt or something. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I'm going the stakes of this. I do like it being harder than just one ability check. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm officially going on the record to say that I'm on this player's side, but I don't trust him. I like- I like also if this person doesn't have two actions, I like Ubria's idea of like, okay, it's an action to grapple and then a bonus action to massage. So you're still kind of making two checks, you know? I think as long as there's a grapple involved then a bonus action to massage. So you're still kinda making two checks, you know? I think as long as there's a grapple involved cause the person, cause again, it's not just hitting them.

It's, you've defeated them in some kind of hand to hand. May I play devil advocate? I'm devil, devil advocate. Okay, I'm your advocate, absolutely. You said you didn't want it from across the room, but what if the player has the sharps you your feet? Fuck. Oh, bring your 10.

Okay. I hope so. I think you're using a feet to make them eat that. I think you can use a feet to make them eat. You can use a feet to make them eat. Take the feet and then they must eat. If you take the feet, they must eat. She's fucking...

But Gambit style, looking that egg into the mouth. I kind of love it when people though, like, it's like sometimes there's players who like focus on one thing, but then they like really commit to it and get really good at it. So this person just like taking all the feats to buff themselves. You just sling poison eggs every single battle. No, the egg slinger. They're here. If you maximize your player just to do this. Yeah.

Yeah, if you build your player, it's a sling. Although it is a lot of damage. But it's not guaranteed damage. No, they can always pass. Infinite eggs. It seems like the seed slings. Seven eggs. Some eggs. Okay, seven. Yeah. Seven pass. Infinite eggs. It seems like the seed eggs. Seven eggs. Okay, seven. Yeah. Seven eggs. And you might lose it. You might lose an egg even if you

have a feet. And you're even trying to make any of your enemies might get a boost. Yeah. That's true. So, so with that we must punish. I think we're on the player. Is anyone on the DM side? I think we're on the player side with conditions fully. Yeah. Yeah. We're conditional on the player side. I think we're on the player side with conditions. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. We're conditional on the player side. We think that the DM is probably thinking like, what are you talking about? I don't have time to deal with it. Yeah. Not every bad guy in my campaign is a cartoon alligator. Please stop.

Stop whatever you're doing. Attack with your sword. I can actually, I can picture myself being like, please just attack. Wait a second, though. That is really true. If there is a bad guy that has like, please just attack. Wait a second, though, that is really true. If there is a bad guy that has like, that is bigger, it's easier.

Yeah, like purple worm, purple worm, you chop that, hey, down there. Yeah. It depends on the gullet size. Absolutely depends on the gullet size, depends on if you have a feed. Is someone who pitched for travel softball one year? When I was kids?

Wow. I bet, I dropped that on you guys. You actually have not. Oh, travel? Where'd you go have not travel would you go travel team? I don't know it was just called travel travel You just put around your you sure you played in Taiwan for a year and a half Yeah, they made a baseball card I believe

Emma you're rookie of the year. Yeah, you, that's based on you. Oh, my entire point was to say, I think I could have pitched an egg down. And pitched an egg into somebody else's throat. Oh, it's pretty warm, yeah. That's true. I really, I want this to be the new thing at halftime.

It's like, as opposed to like trying to make a basket from half-court, you just try like slinging egg into someone else. No, can a can a can a softball player get an egg in a world's mouth? Mr. Mets there. So we have to punish the DM. Yeah, that is what we have to punish. Maybe they have to pitch the first. Oh, you have to jump onto the field at a baseball game and throw an egg at the biggest angry baseball player you could find. And then just hold your hands up and say, if you have a feet, you can eat. Or they can eat whatever the rhyme was. Yeah, and just like you take the chart.

Oh, and you can't explain yourself and you just have to take. Folks, it looks like the egg slinger is on the fuel again Our next case comes from Kyle M who writes may it please the honorable justices Axford Tanner and Murphy and just no mention of me Justices, Axford Tanner and Murphy and just no mention of me. Oh, that one hurts. That's good. That's good. But they didn't say anything about it, Briya, either.

I didn't take it personally. It's about how you choose to perceive things. Yeah, I'm going to rise above. She's confident and strong. Where you are. I know how to. I know how to. My friends and I were playing a campaign

which we traveled through a magical door to a different dimension each session in search of treasure kind of like Roulette Narnia. I'm playing it. Yeah, I'm playing an art fissure and another player is a paladin. We wound up in a field with a large glowing green rock and a ton of large B creatures around it. My character wants the rock and needs the rock. Was that ever getting explained? wants the rock and needs the rock. That's not ever good explain. No, it's not. Well, it's a rock and needs the rock. So I pass a few stealth checks and am able to grab the rock.

Yeah. But on my way back to the group, I roll poorly and end up being seen. This encounter lasts about two minutes of these bee creatures chasing us to the forest and surrounding us as we're surrounded by a bolt of lightning comes from the sky, where it strikes, stands the God which the paladin worships. Oh. The paladin pleads for his God to save us. The God then tells us he wants the rock.

But you want the rock and you need the rock. You want the rock? I want the rock and I need the rock. So I tell this to the God. The DM then tells me the God stomps on me and I am dead No role to favor anything just instant death The Paladin thanks his God for ridding the world of a non-believer And everyone goes on their merry way

This was my favorite character I've ever made I think there's no heroes in this story my favorite character I've ever made. I think there's no heroes in this story. Look, come on. There's two more great. These are, this is the reason. I love this person whether or not I agree with them. Yeah, that's how I feel, too. Yeah, it's four.

These next three phrases are just so funny. So excited. This was my favorite character I've ever made. And it was also the first session. Whoa, okay. Keep in mind this whole thing was in front of my girlfriend. Oh, okay. Was I wrong to refuse the God?

Was I wrongly killed with no way of getting out? The DM told me afterwards there was no way of us winning the B encounter, and that was the only way to let some of the characters live. Wow. Okay, so you have to run away encounter. Okay. Okay. Okay, so I'm that you have to run away encounter. Okay, okay, so I'm assuming it sounds kind of like the rock was a trap.

Can I say how? I love this person. I love their energy. There might be a little clue in here in the fact that the Paladin thinks they're God. I was on the Paladin side until they said non-believers. I was like, whoa. I think they said that again. Thank you for putting the world of non-believers. Okay, okay, never mind. Who among us hasn't coveted a rock? Yes.

I also love, I love that whoever wrote in that you did not tell us why you wanted or needed the rock. I really enjoyed the repetition of, keep in mind or needed the rock. Yeah. I really enjoyed going rock. Repetition of keep in mind. I want the rock. Yeah. You want to get got it? I mean, yeah.

Yeah, I played an Artificer. Your guys want rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I'm playing a mechanized like I'm a hoarder. That's what an Artificer is.

Yeah. You presented me with a thing. Yeah. I can turn this into other things. Thank you. Yeah, okay, okay. Fuck, this is all right. It does kind of seem to me though. It's like, I don't know, something that would be in like a

fable or something, it'd be like, there's a magic rock on top of the mountain. And the gods tell you not to touch it. And the dude touches it anyway. And then he like has to roll a boulder forever or something like that. In front of the mountain, and the gods tell you not to touch it, and the dude touches it anyway, and then he like has to roll a boulder forever, or something like that. I think even gods should probably have to roll, though, to stop on someone.

100%. You know, this exact thing happened in campaign one with Beverly. This is true. And what I would say is just do like 70 damage to them instead of flat out killing them. Right, I mean. This is what was the first session. Yeah, they might have had like,

yeah, InstaDeath doesn't teach a lesson. I think it creates a grudge. Yes, I think so, yeah. Yeah, I think you give them the opportunity to become a fable for the world. Yeah. This guy's like, if you don't give back the rock, children will learn via the story of me killing you.

Yeah. That you don't touch the rock. Right. Do you proceed with this? Okay, yeah, it would have just been. And then you give him a deck save to get out of the way of the God stomping. Right, just like putting a curse on them or something. I get where there's stories sometimes

that get submitted where I'm like, I feel the DM sweating. And this is where they're like, cool, it's the first setting. I've thrown a God out there. And this is where they're like, cool, it's the first setting, I've thrown a god out there, and this person is just standing there flipping off the god and they're like, shit, there need to be consequences right now. Can I say one thing?

This is a wild move on the DM of for the very first session, setting up an encounter they can't win. Yeah, and when a god has to swoop in and save them, that is crazy. That's right. Everything went wrong at this table. Everything went wrong at this table. Everything went wrong at this table. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would say they kind of buried the lead with that. You're right. That does affect things. Because, yes, starting doing your first session, being like, this god comes in and saves you, that's weird. You should just fight some rats or something. Yeah, fight some rats. Everyone gets used to their mechanics. Yeah, it's a big win. Feel like the gods show up and tell the paladin, like make him give it back.

Yeah, start off with PVP and make him weird. Whoa, yeah. Yeah, that's real. Yeah, PVP, then the gods choose a side. Yeah. Oh, honestly, let's go. OK, so does this mean that after all this, we are going to punish the dam, because we're kind of like thinking, oh, maybe this is tough. I think that the point that I come to is

that the player should have been able to roll a deck save to get out of the screen. I think there should have been an attack roll. Literally, I don't know, I feel like there should have been more of the DM kind of foreshadowing what was going to happen. It does sound like they were maybe arguing about the rock for a while. So it's like, the DM is like, you know, we're not playing anymore. You're kidding. You've been stopped on.

You should at least do a role. It should be like, the God said, I want this, the God standing in front of you. You say no, you see they rear back. They're mighty fist full of lightning. Still don't do the thing. Cool. They roll a five.

That's a 32. They hit you for 95 damage in your dead. Like that's different than just being like, they stomp you and you're dead. And then the Paladin thinks, and then the Paladin thinks in the past. That's horrifying. Yeah.

I think that your actions definitely deserved to be punished, but not instead. You should have been killed with dice rolls, right? I think you should still have been killed in a way that you wanted to. You're a character that should be dead. I feel like if you die in that way where it does come down to the dice, that's a funny way for the first time to go. Yeah, sure.

And then you live on, like Briilla said, you are the fable. Yeah, if I lost the character round one first day, but then came back as a new character, that like, I was like, yeah, I grew up here, he's story. Just like the 80th and grab the rock. Your new character comes out from under the God rock. That just from it, in fact. Whoa, what happened to that guy?

Yeah, that's great. But I think we are siding with the player, sort of based here on the fact that this DM on the first session, started an encounter by having an unwinnable encounter, and then had a god come out to save everyone. I'll admit to having bias because I want the rock. I need the rock. Yes, I like your writing rock, I need the rock.

I like your writing style. I like your, I like your presentation. No, that's the rock. I'm a yarn. Yeah. So we've all walked into a cage whooler and said exactly this phrase. Yeah.

That's the right choice. That's the right choice. That's what I proposed to her. For three times what you said, no. But she was looking over your shoulder at Tucker. Yeah. Well, the rock. I need the rock. I thought was looking over your shoulder at Tucker. Yeah. Hold the rock. I need to rock.

I thought we need to go up there. We need to sentence this DM, right? OK. I feel bad. I feel bad. I want it to be a light sentence. OK. Yeah. Let's do a light sentence.

Maybe we slap on the wrist with a slap bracelet. Oh. Oh. Yeah. That's the new slap on the wrist with a slap bracelet. But then the slap bracelet says, hey, think it through. It said you only did OK. Hey, and that's good. On the wrist with a slap bracelet. But then the slap bracelet says like, hey, think it through. It said you only did okay.

Hey, think it's like, man, you only did okay. Make sure to give him a role. Give him a role. Use your dice, dumb dumb. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, that's a long slug. Yeah, that's a long slug. Let's try to remember.

It's actually like one thing. Think about it next time. You only did okay. He needed the rock. He needed the rock. I love the rock. He needed the rock. I want the rock. And then the last thing says, Murphy's Barrow Climbing Gym.

That's where it's from. Oh yeah, and then maybe also like, P.S. Keep that palette in and talk about non-believers and check, maybe. Yeah, that's going to be a thing later. That was clearly supposed to be like a moment for the palette and to be like, is this what my god is all about? I'm questioning everything, but no Just to further do it side

Well, it's kind of fair though for the god to be like oh you that rock doesn't belong to you. Yeah, well It's also session. It's also session one so presumably the players aren't even friends Yeah And also it was all in front of their girlfriend. Yeah Is she playing by the way? She was the DM. Oh. Really?

Oh, that would be amazing. She was just sitting in the table. I did this in front of my girlfriend, the DM who stomped on me. Okay, so our next case comes from someone named Jake MDM. They write, man, please the court. My DM is running our party through a volcanic high mountain plateau inhabited by dinosaurs. Sick. Cool. They're right, man, please the court. My DM is running our party through a volcanic high mountain plateau

inhabited by dinosaurs. Sick. Cool. I can't wait to have a dinosaur in D&D. I can't realize. To meet one, meet one. I don't need to have it. Meet it.

I need it. I need it. I don't want to let you. I want to let you. We don't mean dragons, Murr. You mean an assortment? We need it to platycus. Is that how you say that? I'm the duck run. How do you say that? I don't know., Murr. You mean an actual thing? We need a deploticus. Ooh, is that how you say that?

I'm saying it wrong. Oh, yeah. How do you say that? I don't know. I want to hear. I was like, Diplo Duck, and then I just trail off. No, you're thinking of the duck that plays Diplo, Murr. I am thinking of that, actually.

That's a great Vegas show. It is great. He's playing Coach Eleonix here. Wow. Where was I? Oh yeah. Our party is one human and two half-links. Our ranger. Coachella, sorry.

Yes. Where was I? Coachella. Let him read. Let him read. Our ranger, not a beast master ranger mind you, made a deal with the DM a few sessions ago that with sufficient deer meat in her inventory,

she could make animal handling checks to tame a dinosaur as a temporary companion. I love this! We thought it would be fun to bend the rules a bit to enjoy the prehistoric setting. That's great! So far so good. This deal quickly became a wamping of me, the human fighter, which used her deer meat to befriend a taradactyl, a creature large enough to carry the two half-ling PCs into the air during combat, leaving me alone on the ground. friend, a taradactyl, a creature large enough to carry the two half-ling PCs into the air

during combat, leaving me alone on the ground. The other half-ling is a paladin with higher AC than me. The half-lings claim they're giving me air support, but I'm still taking all the hits from the various grapures we fight. My DM has been all too happy to say that he has been- I'm sorry, genius bar in the sky. My DM has been all too happy to say that the enemies would target the only person on the ground.

Me and yeah, it's on your party, not on the DM. Yeah, it's absolute. Thomas has been absolutely brutal for my PC. Am I getting screwed over here? Oh, yes. Yeah, for this world thing. Wait, this is so fun. I don't know if we've had just sentenced

an entire party before. Yes, we've been, we've had a little of an ad in Hell. I also don't have a very good memory. You've been screwed over by your party. 100%. I think so, although, you know, okay, let's expand our creativity or expand our imagination

to think that maybe it is because they respect you so much and they know you can take it. They can't take it though. They can't take it though. They can't take it though. Yeah, Jake is sent us an email. Yeah. What, yeah. Don't worry, Jake, you're the man.

You can handle it. I really want to hear more about this air support that the tear-and-acto from a paladin. What is a paladin doing? Is it a paladin? You can't even smite. We're not offering air support if you're getting wafted every time.

Yeah, that's my question. Yeah. What the shit is the paladin doing? Yeah. also. What can you do range that's a paladin? Javlins yeah Spite with a job. No, you can't no we did at home brew Yeah, I can't be once on that but not really yeah, be up in that stuff Yeah Paladin's got to be up there also if it if, if the Teradats can hold the two halflings, it can hold the one human, so why don't they trade off everyone once in a while?

Yeah. Oh, that's a really good point. Well, you should just be getting deer meat, because that's all that took the Ranger. They don't even have the beast meat. Oh, that's a good meal. Yeah. But you don't want to cheese this right, and then have the DM regret giving you this fun loophole Although the loophole is working against you

Yeah Is that a loop? I just don't know how many deer are around but like you could probably get some meat and then it kind of becomes like And I hate to do it but it becomes an airboat situation where everyone's trying to get the tarot acto to come to them Yeah, yeah, try to yeah, try to be friend the tarot acto. Yeah Yeah, oh my god take the tarot actal out for a night. We're murdering. Take it out. Oh my God.

Just like you. Just like you're the head of the tarot actal in the Rangers. Yeah. I meant to like cold stone. No. What are you talking about now? Then you have tarot actal meet to, to make her back on board. To get a bigger back on board.

To get a bigger back on board. Oh. Yeah. I'm back on board. I also think though yeah. Yeah. I'm back on board. I also think though it's like, okay, another argument that they could be doing, let's imagine the air support is happening. Paladins do have buffs, I mean, one of their buff is

you should be encouraged, be nearer. But I mean, if they're flying in the sky, well, they buff the fuck out of you and their concentration isn't getting broken and you're so strong. They shouldn't be appallant. Yeah, they shouldn't be appallant. Also, they're not doing that because they're not. No, I know, I know.

They said the combat's been brutal. Yeah, unless they're casting haste and then just flying around in the sky to keep concentration. That even that is tenuous. Yeah, we're describing hypotheticals that would make it vaguely okay and none of them are actually okay. Yeah, I'm guessing this other halfling that's in the party is probably like a wizard or something. So that kind of makes sense to keep the amount of harms away.

Yeah, I like that strategy. So that's fine. Yeah. That paladin needs to be up. I'm mostly against the paladin here. Not just the other part. Whoa, dude, Jerry. I'm not gonna tie paladin in court session.

Whoa, that's true. Oh, that's true. People, they are lawful good and they need to act like. Yeah, yeah, that's true. This is some lawful bullshit is what this is right here. Murphy said to deal with some little stinker paladins before. So, I said, we're disposed. This is a little stinker and a half. Yeah.

Flying around and poor. So, should we just sentence the halfling Paladin? I think the DM must be punished as well. Oh, yeah, the DM said what's the DM doing? All our punishes. JPM has said the DM has been all too happy to say that the enemies would target the only person on the ground. But why would you?

But that's a lot of it. But you said, if you're looking at this, and you're playing like a bunch of dinosaurs who don't necessarily have intelligence, are you gonna be like, the dinosaurs look up in the sky and see you guys who are just zooting around? Or are you just gonna be like, well, my dinosaurs are just gonna attack

what's right in front of them. I feel like before I got my dog, I would be like, yeah, focus fire on the guy on the ground. However, I have a coyote that looks like a husky in my house And she will fully ignore my cat and try to bite a crow out of the sky like 40 feet over her head So I think it's whatever's moving around the most yeah Like yeah, I think the dinosaur is going to look up and go like a dangling meat Yeah, I think I'm also going to look up and go like a dangling meat Yeah, I think the dinosaur could be flashy too. Yeah, I'm also tall as shit and I only look up

So yeah, the dinosaurs should be looking at well I need to step in though here. Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna be so they need to I mean the answer to every D&D court thing is that every which is just talk Yeah, but then we would never show right right don't talk Right, right. Don't talk. But here's the reason. What's happening right now though? What's happening right now would be like,

if in campaign one, it was like, if Bevin Munchine thought it was really funny to always send hard one in by himself. Yeah, if I keep killing hard one, that's not on me. You guys need to go get a beer and hash it out. Like, what hell are they bullying you? You would think, I know you, and I think you would be like, you would probably find some in-game solution

to be like, what's happening. Right. You would probably set up encounters that we would then send, like, what the DM should do is set up like an air-born encounter. Yeah, I think this DM is looking the other way, and it's been like, yeah, this is what would happen. Huh, this is fun.

Yeah, I just want the guy that's on your fighter. Yeah. But it's negligence at every direction. Yeah, the DM want to be like, well, on your fighter. Yeah. But it's negligence to every direction. Yeah, the DM is wrong, but also the rest of the party is not trying to prioritize everyone's fight. Like that's cute and cheeky once, maybe twice. Right.

Two and a half times, if you're stretchy, you get to be like, maybe you die. All right. I'll be up healthy. It takes a lot of trust for it to work two and a half times. A lot of limited-to-adaptal. You know, you know what's a sick move that I might do to punish the players? Oh, wow. Is I might very tragically kill the fighter?

Oh, I just let him go out like Boramir's, like just describe the coolest death and just be like, as you fly in the sky, neglecting your friend, and watching as he bravely fights 10 dinosaurs on the ground by himself. One bite against his shoulder, brushes it off, pushes it back, swings his sword, takes one down, as one slices at the back of his calf. He falls to one knee, but continues to fight. Rassles was one as it goes after his neck. You could tell, he could overpower three or four of these things,

but there's six or seven, and no friends nearby. Just cowards in the sky. He purses your name as his throat is ripped out, but he dies a hero. That's fucking metal. That's right. That's right. The Territory Actual Squacks.

It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. The terrible squawks. We're in the sky. Yeah. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky.

We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky.

We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the sky. We're in the book. Just like, do you like check real quick? Are both of you? But do you think that the PC can do that, that I think only the DM can do that? Yeah, I agree, I'm saying.

So then, do we just, I'm saying to be a jerk? Yeah. I think it's, I, everyone except for the player needs to be punished. Okay, okay. Including the tear down. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. What if they went to like a really bad dinner? Oh. They have to eat the deer meat. They've been feeding the tear down. Yeah. Oh my God. And it can't be nice. Yeah, it's fantastic.

And for the one player, dinosaurs are real, you get one. Wow, you get a little dinosaur, yeah. Yeah, it's a little like a treat for us, man. Yeah. Just like a tiny little dinosaur, you can keep in your hand. Yeah, like all men are sorry. Like a stress dinosaur. Yeah, stress.

Like a excuse me, it goes. Air, face, face.. I'm stressed. Like, he's going to go, you're a bit... Okay. All right, so what did I show you? So the cowards have to have a crappy little dinner. Yeah. A little coward dinner. Have a dear meat.

Uncooked. Oh, okay. Maybe they should get a little... Maybe like... To your tartar. Oh yeah. To your tartar, I was gonna say, maybe it gets like not long enough on a George Foreman grill

Light food poisoning light food poison definitely both ends but like still pretty Like you asked the waiter for medium rare and they say yeah medium there Rare medium on the outside nothing Medium rare and they say yeah medium there Our next case comes from Kirin C and they write to the great and wise Murphy expert in Tanner and the deplorable Baylor Wow It's better to be not mentioned It's better to be not mentioned. Well, Iria, we didn't announce our guess because we didn't want to, you know. But you need a camp.

Yeah, and one of you needs to pass. Jake is tactful. He would slip your name in there, but. To the great and the one who's supposed to be. By we I mean Jake did it. I actually, I'll tactfully eliminate Merv. Oh, I got transferred in Tanner. Thank you.

And the great and wise, for Jake. Wow. Wow. That's the Mediterranean. I was gonna throw this out while you did for a Bria. Right? Oh, wow it. So great. I'm so great and wise it occurred to me after the fact. This several episodes in actually a few years and this happened a few months ago and still haunts me to this day. I've been running a homebrew game for a while now and thought it would be time to add an interesting encounter. Instead of this encounter being about battle, I thought this encounter could be about a sales

pitch to be a part of some sort of pyramid scheme. I had the party throw wisdom saving throws, role play some questions, and even had the non-chromancer, basically a necromancer who uses essential oils, use legendary actions. Yes. However, in this encounter, instead of the party losing HP, they would lose gold. Five of my six players had a blast trying to navigate around while minimizing their losses. But one of my players would constantly say, this is not what my character would do when it came to their turn and potentially handing over their gold.

This player decided to roll the saving throws anyway and still failed, draining their gold gradually away. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you 5 Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that bird dogs as you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

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are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show From them this encounter led to a fight and the aforementioned player left the group and took their partner with them Losing two players over what I thought was a funny counter was I wrong to introduce the dynamic where the players would hand over their gold for failing

Saving throws I await your judgment. I mean it was uh... Well okay okay I first I was told on board because it sounds really fun to me and I think that your the player should have been able to suspend their uh sort of character commitment to just roll with it and have some fun. But it is true that like gold can get you cool shit and like losing gold for failing saving. Maybe there there should have been an option to opt out, right? So it is essentially being like, hey, we're gambling.

Do you want to gamble? Oh, I like that. Some people just love loot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That part of D&D is like what they're all about. They want that. I love that. I think at a certain point, yeah.

The D&D money does not mean anything to me, but I've been at tables before where someone is like, oh yeah, I'll like rob their bag of gold and someone's like, I'll murder you. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It gets heated. It gets very heated. Yeah, we would have, I mean, at a certain point, people figured out that that's not the kind of players

that we are, but we would always get comments when we first started that pod of being like, why didn't they loot the corpse of that dude? Why didn't they loot the corpse of this dude? Why didn't they loot the corpse of this dude? I like an occasional loot. Yeah, sure. If I'm in a situation where I'm like,

this is a fancy world. Yeah. What? Just going on here, then maybe. A strategic loot. A strategic loot. But if you loot everything, that just gets cumbersome. Quite literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, It was a gnome cromancer, was the name of the... Non cromancer. They wrote non-cromancer. Yeah, and I wanted you to do uncromancer like unctuous oil.

Yeah, I'm not entirely sure. I'm not, yeah, I'm trying to figure out what that means. But if this was a magic thing, if this was like, they're essentially charming you into giving over their gold, then it doesn't have anything to do with what your character would do. Yeah.

As long as it's magical, if you didn't specify magic, the person kind of has a point. Yeah. I mean, not to leave. But it also happens in pyramid skins, you know? Like, you don't normally get swept up and then get swept up and then. And then. Yeah, but I do think that that's something that like having like getting swept up in a pyramid scheme being one failed save feels sweaty.

It is. I mean, that's more of a. pyramid scheme being one failed save feels sweaty. It is, I mean, yeah. That's more of a... Imagine any like trio of your characters or something if I was just like, and this next dude, this dude comes up and he says, do you want to hear about my business? Go ahead and roll a saving throw.

Hard one, you give 100 gold over to him because you failed. It's kind of weird, right? You know what, maybe you could have done differently is like if someone's clearly not into it, right? You could have found a way for them to participate on the sidelines without putting themselves in the way, because it is fair, some people don't want to gamble,

and this is essentially gambling, and forcing someone to gamble might suck the fun out for them. That's true. Whereas gambling for some is just awesome. Yeah, I ran a game where it was like a pageant. And I was like, okay, I know some of the people in the party, like in the party will absolutely not do this. Yeah, so I was like, okay, go send your player character away.

And here's an NPC that's super botted. Do you want to come be in the pageant? Like be someone completely different. Like, I know that you are like an edgelord and you would never decide like you're a little halfling to go and do this magic. But now you're like Norma Ray with big hair come get into it with no stakes. So if they don't have a problem with that like

mechanized gambling, they're like it's just, I wanna do this but it's not what my character would do. Like okay, just be someone else in the room that's super into this like singing. Let them go wild coming up with the person that would fall for this, the hardest. And then let them play in it in a way where they don't have to be sweaty about their stuff.

Yeah, and it's a pure sense. Everyone, or not everyone is sensitive about money, but I think everyone is sensitive about their character. Yeah. So if you combine those two things, like you're going against someone's character and also stealing their cash. Yes, yeah.

I think also the idea that it's just one role and if you fail it, you lose money and you also don't wanna do that to begin with, that could feel like a pretty tough session. I also wanna encourage this person because I think they were close. But I've got to say it's cool. That's what I'm saying.

It's creative in college. You're description also sent the cool stuff. Well, that's their whole party now because the other person they're not friends with So actually your whole entire party loved it You solved your own problem Yeah, I would I honestly would be on this player side except them leaving is crazy Yeah, yeah, it seems And taking their partner with them. Yeah. Who had a great time?

Yeah. I do feel like we're missing something here. They must have tried to like draw a sword or like dismantle the encounter in some way. And like that's what led to like the actual fight, right? It could have just been a really bummer session where they were like, I really don't want to do this. The fight was just a you rolling you loose money.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not, yeah, I think there was a fight between the people after. Right, what I'm saying is I feel like that person wanted to fight this non-cromancer or whatever and like weren't allowed to. And that's probably what made them first. Yeah, or they didn't, I mean, again, I do think it's not great encounter designed to be like,

a dude walks up to you, tries to pitch you on a thing and then you have to roll a save. Like you should have more agency than that. And maybe it was magical and they just didn't tell us and I tell people to be brief. So maybe we love your brevity. Thank you for your brevity. But I think you're fine to have done this

if it was a charm spell. And then they're stealing money and like running away. But if it's just like you're rolling to see if you would invest in something, that's just your accidentally in a sales pitch. Yeah. Yeah, I think I feel like it's fun to do really unconventional gameplay like this,

but maybe in the future when you do stuff, like have alternative situations if someone's not into something less conventional. I'm going to do a weird ruling, which is I'm on your side in real life and their side in D&D. Whoa. You seem more fun than the person who grabbed their significant other in the last. Because they lost gold.

Angel and devil again. There we go. I do like, I've never gotten to do this and it seems fun to like get up and leave with your spouse. Oh my God. Come on, babe, go in. Yeah. This is an art paper.

Grab the two stitos. Tucker did that with me, but it was myself. I was so pumped up. Okay, so who are we rolling in? Does anybody have, we're allowed to all vote our own way? Hmm, no, I feel like it's cut and dry here. You know what I'm not gonna say who for, but it's cut and dry. I was gonna say I don't think it's good.

I'm not worried about the DM that they weren't able to like ameliorate the problem afterwards. Like how do you have a conversation and they still walk away? Right, one encounter. Yeah, yeah. Seems like a big problem. I think that goes so badly that They're like, I'm fully fucking done. I think I'm going to gently discipline this DM also because I think that it was really

fun game play. But if someone's clearly it's clearly not working for someone at the table, like just know that you got to be a little flexible and on the fly. Yeah. Should we do another snap bracelet maybe? Yeah. Okay but we can do a snap ankle. A snap ankle. Ooh, okay. And the ankle, of course, says next time, make it so it's a charm spell. So the person in character can lose their gold

in a way that is still in character. Yeah. Is anyone have anything to add? And then like the off of that, yeah, off of that there's like a secondary strap bracelet that kind of like breaks off in a parenthetical. A parenthetical, a separate slit. Trails behind the right.

Yeah, there's an asterisk at the end of this and asterisk says. And it says like, you know, also maybe consider the stakes. Make sure that those are firmly in place as well. Yeah. And then there's like a, like an ellipses and it says, though maybe this was for the best, it sounds like that was kind of like that. Yeah, it sounds like the rest of your players are all on board and this person is not. Yeah, and then there's a couple more ellipses and then what's for dinner?

Wait, whoops, wrong text. Okay. Do not try to walk while wearing this person. You are wearing a ribbon dance. You are fully in the cast now. Don't you dare go near an escalator, you will get sucked into it. Why don't we do one more case?

Do we want to do a confession? And then a confession. Okay, cool. Cool, okay, Alex W. Wrights. May it please the court and also, Baylif Jake, I guess. I bring to you the case of Shrek the Rogue. Oh, no. Shrek the Rogue. Oh, no. Shrek is on the DM side.

Yeah. Don't get so mad. Oh, no. We've done many a case like this one. Yeah. I'm starting a campaign with my friends, all of us new D&D players. My twin sister is playing in the campaign,

and I was helping her design her Rogue. So we all see what she's going. We rolled the stats and she decided she's playing a half-orc. When I talked to her about her background, she decided on Hermit. We continued to design the character not thinking much of the Hermit background. So he's a slow reveal. Half-orc is a way hotter than Shrek, just by the way. Yeah, but half forks don't have little tubers Those tubers are like I All right, imagine that sure you can have that opinion but like imagine that your partner is a Shrek And you're like oh so dark in here babe with the electricity's out and then your Shrek lover pulls two perfect candles out of Their ear tubes and lights them.

Did I? That's one of the tricks. That's one of the tricks. I do remember that. I hate that I remember. 1210 Shrek Trips. Shrek Trips. Shrek Trips.

Shrek Trips. You just tripped over Shrek Trips. No, you tripped over Shrek Trips. I actually think I did it. I think I said tripped over Shrek Trips. Nobody replied. Now I'm in the swamp. Right before we finished, she said, you realize I'm playing Shrek, right? I asked her, please not to. But she insisted the only way that she would play would be as Shrek. She's so funny, so many pieces just insisting.

It's so bizarre. You can create anybody you want. And you want to be sure. The perfect character already has been created, right? You know that they've spent hours, days on the thread being like, I can play on Tuesday. I'm not actually free Tuesday. Like, it's just so much coordination. You forgot when they're actually going to play.

And now this person is holding everyone hostage with Shrek. Another Shrek trick. So later, I said she could play Shrek, but a barbarian might be a better fit to the Shrek archetype. Mm. Okay, first off you are already being too compromising by saying the front-hunter best architect.

She was insisted that she play a rogue. Was I wrong to insist that she shouldn't play Shrek or ask her to change to a barbarian to better fit the Shrek I would argue you leave Shrek the rogue's face. You know what, you're so right. Okay, I've only seen Shrek as well as Shrek his life, but who does not give me rogue vibes?

But you know who does? Fiona. I've never met her. Shrek's wife. Fiona is obviously a bar. She sings and birds come and then explode. That's when she's pretending to be a princess and then it's revealed that she's actually a cool kung-fu over lady. Okay.

I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. You're like, did I win? I'm made it. The bar's too that too though. That's true. Guys, isn't what not? Alright, yeah. Okay, don't let them win.

There's a lot of stretch stands out there applauding Coldwell right now. They shouldn't, it was flimsy. No, they shouldn't. They shouldn't, because you weren't getting what you needed at the table, you know. You're dumping Shrek knowledge on us and it wasn't like that. This person has gone above and beyond

to accommodate Shrek. Yeah, yeah. If they're gonna bring Shrek to the table, they should do Shrek on your term. Right. Yeah. I'm just gonna go, the DM is actually suggesting that they play something truer to Shrek

when actually, yeah. You almost should be like, oh yeah, play Shrek the Rogue. Because then that's different. Oh. I don't think Shrek is a barbarian. You know, Shrek is an inquisitor rogue. Whoa. Because he walked into Do Lock and had to solve a mystery.

She's right. I've only seen the first truck. I've only seen the first truck. I've only seen the first truck. I haven't seen someone. I think I saw a truck. I don't think the barbarian could handle or a truck is a truck.

Yeah, thank you. The truck is a weird YouTube video. I only saw a truck on ice. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think Shrek is absolutely right like every movie and skating adventure. He's solving some kind of mystery. That's true. That's an inquisitor. Whoa I have I don't know enough about Shrek why is Shrek solving mysteries. Well, okay I was tired. Do we have a How much time do we have? A bunch of people show up in his swamp and he has to figure out why they're in his swamp. So he goes to Lord Farquad to be like get all these fairy tale creatures out of my goddamn house. And he has like solve this mist. Like he keeps that game sent on other adventures.

So I feel like he's like, oh that's a good archetype. He's like a curmudgeon who doesn't want to go on an adventure and then goes on an adventure. That's a good archetype. That's a ditch lord to me. That's a good, shrek archetype. Yeah. A Shrek class. Han Solo-esque. Another road.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't make this about Star Wars, man. We're talking about Shrek. He's saying Han Solo is like Shrek, okay? It's by the way the coolest thing Murf could say to you about that. Okay, fundamentally I think we do need to punish the player. The player who needs to have more flexibility.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think as a PC, I like to know what my DM wants and do what they want. And I've never once insisted. To the point where this DM went back, I was like, all right, I have an idea for your figure it out. And the twin is like, no, no, I know it's right. I think the twin was press ganged in service. And it's like, I'm only going to do this thing. If you let me, like, to me this feels like a little kid,

like you have to give them their little thing, to get them bought in enough to like play in your world. And if they're already experiencing that pushback, I think they think you're not going to let them be free during the game. So you can see it on this and spend that good will getting them to be fucking normal in the game. Yeah, and then I can do that like Murphy,

where he's like narrate the scene. Everyone has a cool character, they're in a cool place. Oh, and Shrek is there, and Shrek is there, and he looks like Shrek, you. And Shrek is there. And he looks like Shrek. You know, Shrek, the movie? Yeah. It's really funny, right?

Say something funny. Oh, don't get. I know. Just to absolute silence. Well, that's all, let's all let Jake do a Shrek impressive. Well, we're all, let's all be deadly serious. I'm not fucking know what he's at. All right, Shrek, let's all be deadly serious. Okay. Okay.

Okay. All right, Shrek, it's your turn. What should we do then, donkey? Okay. You didn't take the train, no. Okay. I'm playable. Hey, your donkey doesn't talk to you

because he's just a regular ass fucking donkey. What do you do, what do you do, Shrek, do you Do cast speak to animals? No, you're a rogue. Go on. I Kindle wax from the ear. You know Go ahead and roll a Dexterity saving throw. That's a four. Okay, you're sadly burned by the candle or maybe Pirate It's a pirate. I'm saying it's a pirate. Okay, I'm saying it's a pirate.

The character growth is selling me on this character. Yeah, maybe that's the move. It's a dryly married trick. Make the place. Make the place. It's just like a bully. You're talking to a donkey and you look like a moron. You look like an a moron.

You look like an absolute moron. If that villagers put you in jail. You have disadvantage on all diplomacy jokes with everyone here. This could work. I think if you've given that tough love, they will make the Shrek their own eventually. I also think, hey man, maybe down the line, there's a beautiful scene of Shrek their own eventually. Yeah, I also think, hey man, maybe down the line, there's a beautiful scene of Shrek coming to terms

with like their childhood or something. And you know what, you can get there. A lot of people start silly characters and then accidentally invest. Accidentally invest. I know that that's in one. Win or win or win. That was a good rep.

Right. I would love to hear the pivotal moment from Shrek. I know that that's in there. That's a good rep for us. I would love to hear the pivotal moment from Shrek. I finally know who I am last. Why are you laughing? What do you think, then, Donkey? The Donkey makes a little sound. I'm going to go ahead and roll my second death save. I'm gonna do it.

You know you can do a good strike. I know. And I'm not gonna do it. Because if he does it, you'll stop doing it. And you need to be our resident. I mean, just rankin' out. I feel like be able to parent something. Yeah, but I don't think this person has... The twin has a...

A shrek. I don't think they have an actual Shrek impression. Oh, yeah, they're gonna end up having a walk. I think, let him, yeah. So do we punish anyone in this situation? Because I say I'm on the DM side, but I also think if you want your twin to play, then I think that- The punishment is pulled out by the DM themselves

by making the twin play Shrek. Yeah, and then they're the thing that's punishing them. Yeah, just treat they're the things that are punishing them. Yeah, just treat Shrek like he's don't laugh. Yeah, yep. Any time they do something, be like, okay, that's a little bit of a silly thing to do. You see the bartender looks mad and offended.

And you said that to them. What do you mean a gingerbread man? There's no gingerbread people here. Ha, ha, ha. Just hoist them by their own Shrek. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't want to make a shrek bill now. The wheels are per day. You think you take any feats for shrek? Oh man. I think you got to make it now. I don't want it to be in and quit. No. We got a multi-class. Oh, it's a creation bard in there. So we can start animating items constantly.

So you have that as well. We've got a bunch of red man. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's Pinocchio's up in there. It's supper, but there is a gingerbread man here. He's hearing he's dancing and you can attack from him.

Incredible. So Merge is coming up with the dry DM, and it brings like, no, no, no, I can make. Yeah, I can do this. I can't do the voice. I never have it. Never will. But I will play the crazy. I will play the crazy. No, it doesn no, I can make I can do the voice I never have I will play the crazy Dead to right strike that absolutely whoops ass

Yeah, thank you, you saved us all yeah, I'm so sorry about your donkey and I'm fucking Lord fuck talking lore fuck why. Yes. I would say challenger to play a good track. Yeah. Wow. If it's not a Bri, I bet you won't be able to do it. Yeah. Chokes on you.

It is me. I sent that in. I know you're a chokes on me. I ate mine in the womb. Classic Shrek. So let's end on a dice-cris-confession. Oh, let's get the angel egg singing. That's a callback familiar today, right?

Yeah, okay. All the strength. We talked about that three weeks ago. All the strength talk. All the strength talk. Okay, from B, we've got a modified dice dilemma. Forgive me, justices, for I may have sinned. I know there is no separation of church and state in this court,

so I lay before you a potential transgression. I am conflicted regarding a BBEG. I've designed for a homebrew campaign that takes place in a magical New York City in the 1920s. The ultimate villain is a mastermind, halfling gangster by the name of Lucky Laflora, who has trapped the God of luck in a gem, and constantly siphons their power.

In addition to several other feats and abilities, I had originally decided to represent this aspect of God-like luck by making all of his roles with a modified D20. It is not weighted, but it does not contain a one or two, and instead has two 19s and two 20s on it. However, my conscious is beginning to eat at me, ask my players draw closer to the final battle. So this is someone maybe almost going to going into the confessional being like I'm thinking of doing this. I go with my blessing.

Sounds rad, right? I love. I kind of want, I want to take world. Yeah, I just don't. This is just sick. Oh, the crossroads of like the meta and the fiction all come in together and then you get to like pull the dice out from the screen. And it's not even that broken. It's a little, I mean, it's better than rolling with advantage, but it's like, this is your

BBHG Yeah, yeah, yeah, I also love the idea that like if you defeat them I think you give the players that like That's how you get that's how nobody will be mad exactly One roll a session where you're like the God of luck thinks you for saving them. Yeah. Roll with the good guy.

Oh my God, that's such a good. Okay, so I think we're saying to you, not only are you like you don't have anything to confess, also because you haven't done anything, but if you do it, you have nothing to confess, and also that's a great suggestion. Dice Christ has cast down judgment and it's sick. Yeah. So sick. But we can judgment and it's sick. Yeah.

So sick. But we can say if that's raddest day. Yeah. So sick. And with that, we will wrap up this episode of Dungeon Court. You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to some bonus cases. We'll try to bring over there as well.

Oh, yeah. You can check that out over on patreon.com slash nadpa. That's any DDPOD don't sing. Wee! Don't do it. Please don't do it. Oh, fine. Don't do it, God willing.

Bri, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Oh, God. Yeah, you can catch me on social media at Quittie, QIDDIE. And you can catch me on clock over on HyperRPG on Monday nights at 6 p.m. Pacific and on Wednesdays for Legends of the Multiverse on D&D's Twitch channel. At a time I don't remember. Google it. It's on your socials.

It's on your socials. I won't. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to plug? Love shows. Oh yeah. Love shows. We got a bunch. Got a bunch.

We have live shows in Dublin, Ireland, on May 11th, London, on May 12th, Manchester, May 13th, and Edinburgh, on May 14th. Tickets still available at natpot.com slash. Take to your promise to do your, actually, I don't know where Shrek is from. It's Shrek from Ireland or... He's from God, right? He's from God, right? Do you promise to do your actually I don't know where she's from it's Shrek from Ireland or he's Promise to do your Shrek Everybody will be claiming clamoring for a You're gonna need a glass of water, no. Can I ask for fans, please, like, get a clip of it and tweet me.

I want to watch the live Shrek accent. Yeah, please give it to me, please. You want to show us the Shrek pelted with tomatoes in Scotland. Oh, sweet. You can follow us on social media. There are a man I use at THRF is me, at the Extra Demoly, at Coldhe's Caldwell, at your Curwitz-Jake, and a Brea. Remind me of your socials.

At Quiddy. And at Quiddy is Abrea, and you can tweet about the show, using hashtag nadpa that's any DDPOD. We are, we are, the youth of a nation. We are, we are, youth of a nation It's the end of the show and you know what that means? We simply must shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. I'm talking about Brad D. Jeffery S. Hugh C.

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