Not Another D&D Podcast - Donkey Kong One-Shot: A Coco-Night Holiday Special

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

The Band of Boobs return to Kongo Bongo Island for another holiday celebration and try desperately not to blow anything up! Hardwon does the worm, Moonshine does some wrasslin', and Beverly goes Super Banayan. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Gypsy Violin Variation" by Howard Geisel at Freesound.org."Snake Fight" by Emily Axford."Block Hop" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford. "Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, yeah. We got a bunch of Kongs and Zards here. I wish to be a Zard. Your Moonshine Sabin. Remember me, yes, a Zard. You are neither. I wish I had not said that. Okay.

Moonshine Sabin is going to be a lizard for the same episode. Love it. I love that. Mr. Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Zard one surefoot. No, that's right. We're bringing the bad behavior from eldermore and back to the band of boobs. Yes, we will be playing the band of boobs today. I know everybody's missed them and they're back for the holidays, baby And of course we've got Emily Axford Moonshine Zardbin Blizzard Queen with a streak of mean and also green because I guess I'm a lizard now

Okay And then of course called ball Tanner Beverly Zard goals the fifth Everyone's favorite little buddy, who's not afraid to get a little bloody. Okay. I'm not gonna say muddy, okay. Oh, I'm already muddy, because I'm a little lizard, and I'm in the mud right.

Just crawling around down there. This will be a follow up to last year's Beninx Giving Special. Which, as I really listen to it, we make jokes about how it's gonna to spawn its own multi-arc. And here we are for number two. This is the Empire Strikes Back of the saga. We are establishing a new lore for the band of boobs.

This is a separate timeline where they go to a Congo-Bongo Island. So this will not affect the main timeline But we will be catching up with the boobs when they are level 20 So does moonshine cyber have Divination roles she does yes, and does she have the thinking cap thinking cap she gave back at the end of After defeating the I'm not gonna tell you what my Feeling I know what they are. You don't have a very good poker face.

Okay, so this is, we defeated the Aula and then instantly went back to Congo Bongo Island. So, well, you're not there yet. Let's go ahead for anyone who hasn't thought every day about the Madang's giving special. Let's go ahead and do a little recap. What were you doing at that time? So last time you went to Congo, Congo Island. You had crashed landed on the island after

donkey, diddy and dixie had accidentally pierced your sales while shooting through flying barrels. Funky Kong offered to repair your ship while DK and the others took you to cranky Kong's cabin. There, he explained that the formerly warring Kongs and lizards were breaking bananas together for a bananx giving feast after years of war. Don't you think it would be splitting bananas not breaking bananas? They call it breaking bananas here, but you can bring that up with Donkey Kong if you'd like. I can respect local traditions. Kim K. Rool, the King of the Zards,

had previously stolen a magic artifact known as the Crystal Coconut and used its power to create the tropical freeze and the Ice Age that killed many of the Kongs. Finally, after DK slew him in combat, they were finally able to broke her piece and thus, the Benanks giving day feast was upon us.

You traveled to the location of the feast only for a hard one to get into a fight with DK after refusing to give the ape his initials. DK got into a fight with me, okay. It was arguable whose fault it was, but not, no. I have many different initials. I didn't know what to say. I feel like instead of nevertheless, she persisted the band of boobs,

motto is nevertheless it escalated. Nevertheless it escalated. Who among us hasn't gotten into a big fight after some monogramming? Hard one, one, the ensuing wrestling match, asserting dominance over DK and unwittingly establishing himself as the new donkey Kong regretfully

It was then on hard one to broker peace with king car rule karaoke the new head of the zards But during a ceremonial breaking of the barrel a bomb went off incinerating countless Kongs and zards. Oh, right. That was tragically real. Donkey Kong returns to find his kingdom and ashes as you noticed funky Kong flying off with your airship and the banana hoard in his possession. You confronted funky who planned to take his coconut tech company global and hoard the bananas for himself. After an intense battle that included far too much diarrhea and funky con literally incinerating Balnor,

you were able to beat him to death and throw him off the airship. As Donkey Kong Country burned below you, you were able to use the power of the crystal coconut to multiply a reincarnation spell, resurrecting the Kongs and Zards killed in the attack, including Balnor, who came back as Balnor Kong. And that is where we are now. If you needed that recap, then shame on you. Anyone listening? Yeah, if you don't have that whole recap, already tattooed on your forearm so you can look down and remember. Then you're naked. So over a year has passed since the Beninx giving incident.

This is a separate timeline from the main Bohumia timeline. The only real difference is that Boundor did not leave at the end because he felt too stupid going back to his timeline as Boundor Kong because he was reincarnated as Balnor Kong. So you're all sitting around moonshine stump at the creek. It's a cool winter night. The nanorflies are buzzing and you're all sitting around a fire and drinking hot cocoa. Can I corral the nanorflies to sort of form some crick-miss lights on my stump? Yeah, I go.

Since we are in that season. Go ahead and give me an animal handling check. Okay. First roll. 22, bitch. That's 22. Wow. Yeah, with the magical flick of your wrist,

there's a little bit of sparkle in the air of red and green. And you see the nanoflyes fly through it. They get red and green glows and hover around your stump. Wow, red for blood and green for bile. It's so impressive. I don't think it aligns with the humors. I think it's, you were correct about red for blood, but the green is just for the color of grass.

Oh, sure, yeah, they ate a lot of grass and now they're glowing. Also, but well, to nanannerfly's bile is yellow. Oh, my apologies. My apologies. You see a Nannerfly throws up a bunch of yellow gunk onto Beverly's lap. I sit corrected. Sorry, they've been passing around a stomach flu.

It's see, after a little bit, you see Bound or Kong, which basically looks like if Diddy Kong had a gray mustache, enters, you see he's holding a stack of letters and he looks concerned and he goes, hey guys, listen, so I know last time that we went to Congo, Bongo Island, it was kind of a shit show. Sort of a very literal shit show.

It was a shit show. It was a literal shit show. Sort of personally ruined my life. But it, yeah, I was incinerated. And yeah, I'm bound to work on. Do you remember what it felt like, by the way, getting incinerated? Yeah, it was just the hottest you could ever possibly be,

and then I just saw darkness. Oh, wow. Why to a god or a deity or anything? No, reach out. No, I was just gone, which is crazy. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, I know that gods exist, but you know,

just something I think about at night now anyway. You know, I've reached out to you, huh? We have pocketed that. The only people who reached out to me is the Kongs, because it turns out that as Bound or Kong, I have been invited to a lot of their family gatherings and they've been giving me a lot of shit about not coming home for the holidays.

You see, he throws down the stack of letters and he goes, I've been mostly just ignoring these. We skipped Binag's giving this year. But if we could go just for one night, they've got a thing coming up. It's not a big deal. It's called Coco Night. Apparently it's really important. There's a feast. They use the crystal coconut to make it snow for one night, and then it goes back to being a tropical island in the morning. That sounds like a shock to the system of all the local fauna and flora. Hey, look, I don't understand what's going on. I've been,

I've been a con for a year and I've mostly just been hanging out with you guys. So I don't know. You know, I'm always in. I'm always in family times family time and it's important. I will go But Boundal, I would ask that you put on something other than just a vest That's true. There's certain parts of you that are not so apely Interesting. Uh is is there anything specific that you had a problem with or I'm saying your furry Except Okay or I'm saying your furry. Oh, except. Okay. Okay.

That is too crap. I wish I was you. I told me this a year ago. Now I feel weird. We felt self conscious about after you had just become a con. Right. I think you know, and up time has passed for us to let you know that it's very uncomfortable. I just assumed that I wouldn't, I wouldn't wear pants, but, right.

It realizes whole time. Yeah. No, I think it was about time we told you that your penis and testicles didn't have any hair for and they're they're quite evident They're just halfling Testicles yeah Yeah, no, I wasn't sure because it'd been a long time since right since we were there We didn't bring it up. We didn't bring it up. We arguably showed up But we're talking about it now, which is nice, thank you, Nechon. Apes generally have kind of, for as big as they are, they actually have pretty small penises,

but mine is sort of normal size, so that must have been strange. It's not gonna do with the size, it really is, and it's just the fur, the fur that's jarred. It's just that it's there, and then it's the nude skin. Okay, well I'll keep the vest, of course, well, I'll keep it. All right, I'll keep the vest, of course. And then I'll put just a little pair of Jean shorts. Do you have like shorts? Does this work? Yeah. I think that sounds like everybody wearing shorts, Hawaiian shirts and like

Santa hats or something is kind of like the vibe. It's like a tropical Christmas vibe. Yeah, I'll take out my overall George. That'll be a fun contrast with the snow. Yeah, hard one's definitely wearing short shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. So you guys get dressed up for the tropical island and you head on to the SS stormborn. Fly off over the sunrise. See near Smuggler's Bounty. I guess we probably ought to pregame. Huh? I guess we probably ought to pre-game, huh? Oh, certainly. All right. I'll make us a picture of Peña conglottas just to get your appetite real well.

What is in that again? It is actually Perseco and a little bit of a apparel. Perfect. So, so no bananas? No. Okay. Nor coconuts, nor pineapples. Either way just fill fill this solo cup to the absolute brim You see yeah you guys drink after bound or gets a little buzz

He just keeps cornering everybody and just being like so this whole time I've just been like and they could just like a dude So like I would go to the store and people would think it was weird I mean at the creek everyone's got a real open mind so you actually haven't been bothered So like I would go to the store and people would think it was weird. I mean, that the quick everyone's got a real open mind. So you actually haven't been bothered with anyone. Yeah, no, but we went to a lot of other places though. It's the thing. Yeah, we don't know if it bothered anyone,

but it definitely registered everywhere you went. Okay. We can't say how anyone felt about it, but just that is just something I'm going to have to live with. Drink one of these. You might forget a little sooner. He drinks it back. You guys see, as you approach near where like Smuggler's Bounty is, you approach the island, Congo Bongo Island. You see all across the trees,

there are strings of lanterns that light up the island with a beautiful glow. You see big yellow bananas and juicy coconuts fill the trees. Donkey Kong Country is a city in the trees interconnected a tree houses with rope swings and rope bridges bringing together the various buildings. And you do see that over the past year it has gotten larger. It looks to have expanded more tree houses on the edge of town. You can see that Zards and Kongs

have once again come together, but instead of it being this tenuous piece, you see everybody's like celebrating together. You see a bunch of lizards and Kongs out on the rope ridges and stuff, like outside of all the houses. And as your airship approaches, you recognize Diddy and Dixie Kong waving to you from below.

You know that when Diddy Kong got the reincarnate spell, he turned into a zard, so he looks like a little like crocodile, and you see that wave as the SS stormborn comes by, and they go, I've heard of family reunions, but this is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. So, Redonculus still didn't catch on.

Okay. So, you guys are able to land your ship. Is Hard One able to land the ship? Of course. Hard One, go ahead and give me a flying check with proficiency. Okay. No problem. With advantage, I imagine, because I've been practicing.

Just flat. Okay, no problem with advantage. I imagine because I've been practicing this lap. Okay. Yeah I rolled a You once again It's hard to one just like leans over the side of the ship waving of the ship waving. Move, move, move. Oh, it's our Donkey Kongies back. Huh, watch out hardwood, you're getting too close to the trees, you're getting really long.

Start from box down, watch out! You see, out of the way. The trees are way higher than you expected them to be. You were like waving too much as you were landing. Oh, the sale is the fake one. In the sale, you crash land in the trees. The ship The ship can I gust a couple apes to safety. Yeah Yeah, you fully crash through one of the homes bust into a tree

Everybody's okay everybody just laughs Classic hard one I've heard of crash landings, but this is ridiculous, but this is ridiculous But this is ridiculous, but this is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. We're not, Killers. Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong run over to you guys as you guys exit the wreckage of the SS Stormborn that has just crashed in a tree here.

Damn it. Dixie Kong grabs you guys and goes, come on, pals, it's almost time for the feast. All right, of course. All right. Y'all cooked everything up. You didn't save a plate for me to make? No, you're a guest.

Did you bring any bananas? I turned to hardwired one in moonshine. Did we bring any bananas? No, I should. Surely you brought some bananas. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we got some. Yeah, let me look around the wreckage of the ship. There's don't look don't look in the cup. I'm just cut a year.

I'm just saying, just everyone just remember every everyone just remember last time we we came here. We like accidentally like took over. So somebody give him a fucking banana. Okay. Okay. Um, uh, can I run into the ship to see if I can find any bananas? You can't find a banana in there.

I swear to God. Let me just do this giant hole. There's a giant big hole here. You're not, for we're not open to the cupboard. All I'm asking you. If I cast a third level plant growth, can I make a banana in my hand? Yes.

Okay, I do that. I'm reaching to my pocket pretending like I remembered it and I'm just like fiddle wiggle around looking like I'm up to something making a banana in my pocket. Well, yeah, here it is. Is that a single banana? Is that a banana in your pocket? Are you just happy to see me?

Yeah, this is ridiculous. Hey guys, there were no bananas in the ship, but there was a couple of crew members down there, and they are really injured. Should we do something about that? They should stick around, they're gonna have to retouch the paintwork and behave themselves. You see, Nerman comes out, oh, we're on break.

What happened, man? Where were you on that landing? It was I, I'm not gonna post it. You're supposed to reduce sale. I'm gonna go on holiday break. I didn't know we were going anywhere, man. Just hard one, crash foot, add it again. Yeah, but this is ridiculous.

Nerman and the other club. The club gets to repairing the ship. Diddy and Dixie take the bananas from you guys and go, come on, it's almost a feast, follow us. All right. Okay, I follow. I jump in the nearest barrel. Sweet.

I roll the barrel. Wee. I help hard one roll the barrel, but make him think that he's doing it all on top. Okay, that's a little hard. That's a little fast. Careful, I'm very strong. Beverly jumps in just a regular barrel and has to be rolled. It is instantly super disorienting.

Beverly, to not vomit, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Are there any fish carcasses floating around in there? No. There's a lot of banana peels though. What's my consave? Oh, nice. That's going to be a 14. Yeah, you hold it in.

You get some dry heaves in there, but you're fine. Arguably worse. You guys enter the great hall of the coconut mother. It is a huge circular room. Torches line the wall, and there are large wooden banquet tables with lanterns and holiday decorations. You see in the center of the room, there is a pedestal with a glass case.

It is currently empty, but there is a lever next to it, and you can assume that the crystal coconut will raise into the case when the lever is pulled. You see, there's a table. Lime and Shine starting to worry that that lever is going to get pulled and either a bomb is going to go off. Now, Munchine, they've turned over a new banana peel.

This is a different era. Can I wild shape into a bomb dog and start sniffing around? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. You see when Jack turns to like a really mid-lilish. You're in a really, like a really militaristic looking dog and just starts like sniffing everyone. You see the ape starts just like, whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo.

It starts getting like defensive. I'm Moonshan, go ahead and give me a perception check. Oh, this is not my dog, can I do it with an advantage? Yes, yes. It's your bomb sniffing dog. Well, Sam, that's another 22. No. Moonshine, the bomb sniffing dog does not sniff any bombs here.

Okay, I come out of it and I say, So clear, everyone have fun. That was awesome. Let's be dogs sometime. You guys see there's a table with an enormous roasted banana and nearby it. You see Donkey Kong speaking to King Car Rule karaoke as well as several other zards and Kongs. Everyone is laughing and drinking and having a good time. You see Donkey Kong, Slaps King, Cart Rule on the back, as he swigs a banana stouts,

then eyes you and walks over and he goes, oh hey little buddies, it's been a long time. Yeah, too long, how's it going buddy? Hard one, why don't you just keep your distance of a firm, trying to make a fence. I'm just saying hey happy cocoa night and happy cocoa night all of you especially you bound or Kong and bound goes yeah no yeah of course yeah see ruined my life or anything no this great it's good tell them about being incinerated that was fun yeah you see bat you see a donkey Kong nods and he

goes I remember last but angst giving but since then we've had a year of peace and tonight on coconut I say goodbye to this year with one night of winter and ask the coconut mother that we may have another year of summer but this is ridiculous but this is ridiculous but this is ridiculous. But this is ridiculous. But this is ridiculous. It sounds like a great time. What should we look forward to in this celebration? Any customs that we might, any carols, we might want to know the lyrics too,

or any customs we don't want to be sort of caught or started by. I hate to be caught flat footed on a custom. Everyone's passing around like a coconut pinata. I don't want to try to eat it, you know, right? How do we fit in don't like start a fight with me in front of everyone and make me look weak and Okay, I feel like I'm big take over. I'm being targeted And then let it all crumble within minutes of your soul still about hard one so mostly mostly that

Okay, that could be any of us. All right. We'll all try to not do that papa are you writing this down? Get this down and writing Do we eat all the bananas on the boat Papa gets out of Moonshine's bib and you get the sense that he's just been sleeping this old time. He just looks around baffled and you get the sense that he's just been sleeping this whole time, he just looks around, baffled. Me? I'm so sorry, Papa.

I thought that you were at your friend's place, but then you were in my bed. And... Moonshine, since he is your familiar, you speak possum, you know what he's thinking. And he fully does not remember the Donkey Kong Thanksgiving Day adventure. And he's just baffled.

He has no idea where you are. All right, Papa. I'm gonna let you know I was there and I'm still baffle. Okay, so if you're confused, you're doing it right. Yeah, so Papa looks confused and Donkey Kong goes, no, we just, we do a few speeches, then we bring out the crystal coconut, and then we have the cocoa night,

which is one night of winter and then we all have all kinds of fun dances and everything but you could just come along and join with us. We have a feast and then there's dancing and it's just it's just a night of fun. If you need a cocoa night with a K to sort of inaugurate the festivities I know I know a little night that would probably do a pretty good job and I nudge Beverly forward. Oh, yeah, if you have like a festive garb I could put on and I could like do a high kick for the crowd. Maybe something like that.

Oh my. You see, don't kick off the cuckoo. Don't you need a team? Don't you need a team? Hate you or to come out and do a high kick. Do you want me to reenact the coco nut cracker for you? Yeah, is there a stage? Just let me know where the wheel does barrel onto and make it and have out of

You yeah, if you want to do a little dance right before the Crystal Coconut comes out I yeah say no. Yeah Partial do you just coming out and doing one packet? You you think that'd be great. you think that everyone would really like that Yeah, yeah, wow you're smiling so wide I can see all your Must think it's a great idea we don't go get changed. We owe you everything. I can't say no Most forced bands and why would you yeah,? Yeah, I can't. I can't. You saved us. Beverly Go gets on like a Russian imperial guard outfit

with like a spiky like furry hat and like furry boots, but all made of coconuts. Damn man, that's a lot of ruse on your cheeks. And your nose. And then does an hour long silent performance of the Coco Nutcracker. Go ahead, Beverly and give me a performance check with Disadvantage. What? He's, he's got to see Beverly.

They have to take a second. What do you do, Anderson? I'll tell you, you have a better chance just doing one. I can. Just one move. Absolutely. Absolutely. So it's so much fun, shoveling.

That's Beverly's speeds it up. So you get some more nervous. Mochan, Mochan, you got to go out there. That's Beverly speeds it up. So you get some more nervous. Mochon, you gotta go out there. He's dying out there. Is this performance chair? Yeah. Hell yeah.

I got a 14 and an 18, but performances plus six. That is a dirty 20. You see, after a while, people get into it. People are, I said, ah, ah, ah, ah. It basically just ruins the meal at first, because it's just like a comfortable, but then everyone's just like ruins the meal at first, because it's like a comfortable,

but then everyone's just like, yeah, this kid's got moves. And you see a bunch of people start dancing on tables and stuff, joining in, Beverly really brings everybody together. You see that Donkey Kong is carving the banana, then you see a bunch of zards and cons, like servants and stuff, like caterers, start bringing out dishes of different banana dishes.

You see a caterer comes by and fills your mugs with banana wine and nanor beer. Whoa, you hear, there is a string quartet of cons playing the Donkey Kong theme. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Hard one, the key is to make no noise whatsoever. That is another dirty 20. Whoa! You guys see everybody starts clapping a log with hard one on the beat of the Dauphinon Beamsong as they all play. Awesome.

Can I use Create Food and Water to make a big plate of steamed beetles for all the zards? Because I feel like they're neglected in the cuisine. Ooh yeah. You make a big steamed platter of beetles. You see it is much. Doesn't want to steam to beetle by the zards. I'll get in on that. Yeah. I'm a curious foodie. I raise a stinky beetle and I say to Zinky the hero of the Defeat of Funky Kong. Oh, I'm just a little zard. We don't need to do a we don't need to do a whole toast to me. We can and we Zinky, the hero, a bit of Fisa Funky Kong. Oh, I'm just a little shot. We don't need to do a whole toast to me. We can and we will, Zinky.

We owe you our lives. Who can forget the classic character, Zinky, from last year's Panagx, giving specials? Oh, I whispered a pop on that. That's what it was a reference to. Me? I was confused too. I was confused.

Where? I never call line. He looks at Balnor confused. You think maybe this pop-up was ripped from a different timeline and he's in the wrong. He's just fully in the wrong episode. I looked at my overall bib just to make sure there's not like a planer. There seems to be a portal. He is covered in astral goo.

Rare. When is pop-up? When is pop-up? When is pop-up? When is pop-up? When is pop-up? When is pop-up? When is pop-up? When is pop-up? I knew these overalls were expensive. I thought I was paying for the craftsmanship. So you guys see, after a little bit, a hard one sits back down, and somebody clinks their glass.

You see that Donkey Kong stands up at the table, and he goes, I am the leader of the bunch, and you know me well. Ha ha ha. I'm finally back to kick some tail. My coconut gun can fire in spurts. If I shoot ya, it's gonna hurt.

He has a gun! He has a gun! I knew it! I started to do a Bob Dog again. Machenger's or Bob Dog, you'd smell it. Oh, that's just part of the song. OK, never mind. Sorry.

Sorry. Donkey Kong continues his speech. I'm bigger, faster, and stronger, too. I'm the first member of the DK crew. You're here. But the second member, the second member, is all of you. We hear Light applause.

And he goes, and because of you, when you're light applause and he goes, and because of that, it is our tradition on coconut that the great long speech before the crystal coconut reveal is given by one of our steeped guests, and you see he gestures over to your table, everyone go ahead and give me a log check. Oh no. Oh no. The great long speech. I got a 10. I got a speech. I got a 10.

I got a five. I got a 12. And he goes, he goes, although he defeated me last year and humiliated me and brought us near ruin, they did save us. And so I feel like I owe it to my former fellow Donkey Kong, hard one sure foot, would you speak for all of us in a two minute long uninterrupted speech? Do you hear light clapping? Mojang claps really, really fucking loud.

Bev tries to do that whistle thing but it just sounds really wet. I thought that it was good that I got a five. I forgot that the luck check is the lowest one, huh? Okay, hard one sits at the table until like five seconds after the applause has died down. Other silence. Then I walk up there with my foot, my foot steps echoing throughout the hall. From one slam poet to another that was an excellent welcome speech and I thank you for that Donkey Kong. Thank you. A tradition like no other sister to sister and brother to brother.

The Coco Knight is a knight that is right and it's out of sight because you're all right. I already said that. Hold on. Fuck. Sorry. I got into a BOTAX at an earlier today. You hear an echoing cough in the back. As the SSTORM board shifts above and breaks through the ceiling.

Beverly dance. Dance over here. Can I use Gus to make some ambient white noise Beverly dance. Dance, Beverly. Can I use my gust to make some ambient white noise just so the silence isn't so suffocating? For a brief moment, there's just the tapping of Beverly's feet on the ground as hard one hymns and haws, and the creeks of the broken SS Stormborn above in the roof. And eventually because of moonshine spell, you hear a little bit of talk, and you get a little bit of applause based on Beverly. And you see Docy Kong just sort of nods for you to get off the stage.

I bow deeply. And if anybody wants my friend over there can turn into a dog. So come by our table. Let me know. I wave us a dog. You see several zards and comms look interested. Hard one sits back down and breathes really deeply.

Oh, oh my god. You did okay? No, I was right. I was right. You know what. I have a hard one. I'm going to say, I'm going to say that motherfucker put you on the spot because you know what? He had a little piece of scripture he read. But he just called you right up there.

And he asked you to just come up with rhymes. Out your crack. And that's too much to ask of a person. You know what? I beat him the first time and he beat the shit out of me just now. Tell you what. After a few minutes, everyone goes back to like kind of polite chatter and eating their dinner.

Hard one you notice a lot of looks over towards you of just pure pity. Her and the different Zards and Kongs. I raised my glass to them. They avoid high contact. Cheers. And you see, finally, Donkey, uh, Donkey Kong gets up, um, and he goes, finally, it is almost midnight. And that means it is time to reveal the Crystal Coconut and bring about the Coco Knight. You hear once again, the string quartets, um, begins playing the Donkey Kong theme again. D dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

You see Donkey Kong goes over and pulls the lever and you see a beam of white light shoots up through the pedestal and hits a crystal chandelier on the ceiling creating a cascading light effect on the whole room. You see the light settles as the object enters the glass case, but you see that it is not the crystal coconut. Huh? It is Donkey Kong severed head. You hear the string quartet begins playing the funky's

flight theme. One of the servants suddenly brandishes a dagger and savagely murders Diddy Kong right in front of you. No! No! No! I can't see. It's an arrows fly from Zard Archer's at the door as several Kong guards take swords to their former brethren. It's happening again.

You see, after the initial wave of death, there is a standoff as the few remaining Kongs, Zards, and you are surrounded in the center of the room. You see the ape you thought to be Donkey Kong puts on a pair of shades. No. It's good to see you again. Didian Dixie weren't the only ones you reincarnated last time when you did that mass resurrection on the island, and I pretty much looked just like Donkey Kong except I wear clothes sometimes.

Now, funky's back to take what's his. Okay, I whispered a pop-up, this is Funky Kong. See? We went to that guy last time. He's seeing. I knew Donkey wouldn't have held a grudge. You see, he continues, and he goes, King K. Roll had the seed of a good idea when he created the tropical freeze,

the long cocoa night, and I see where he could had the seed of a good idea when he created the tropical freeze, the long cocoa night, and Ice Age where he could control the supply of bananas. But King Rool was a fool. He stayed to rule over the frostbearance, but I will make the same mistake. No, I will freeze Congo-Bongo Island using the power of the Crystal Coconut to turn the bananas into frosty ice banana scopes that can never fall. Can you imagine the quick returns I could make on a novelty product like that.

I'll be rich, living in a mansion in Glade Home while your dead bodies freeze here in Donkey Kong Country. I just need anyone who was just, who's just listening. Anyone who can't see funky Kong right now, please know that he has been waggling a hang loose side during the time speech. I can't lose. There's nothing loose about that. Funky, the perfectly formulated plan.

The presence of staff. Funky presents a staff with a crystal coconut atop it. He is the Archmage I Funky Kong. You see, it swirls with arcane power, creating an aura around him, and he goes, Who can stop an age of Funky-ness? Funky Kong, everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Oh boy. That's a three. That is gonna be a 20 fucking two again.

I got an eight. Moonshine, you act first. After this initial wave of death, you see many of the Kongs are dead. The only, you see Cranky Kong was brutally murdered. You see Diddy Kong was brutally murdered. Donkey Kong severed head is in the glass case, presumably beaten dead a long time. You see Dixie con did survive was able to use her ponytail to grab a knife and a charm one of the bad guys and it's like you've got enough

cons and zards on your side that what you mainly have to deal with is funky con when she had that is your turn if I do a mask your wounds is that gonna bring up a bunch of cons? No. All right, then I think I'm gonna turn it to a purple worm. Yeah, I'm gonna use a nine-level shape change to turn it to purple worm. Cool. Oh my god. You guys see, just instantly feeling, instantly feeling the coconut mother grade hall.

I'm gonna try and church do a purple door purple worm you see how you know what you know it always gets the better of a rat a worm Is that a say wrong with that German ship it is that true? Uh, yeah, dad at the creek. We got real nasty worm I see moonshine turns into such a giant worm um that the the haul completely breaks half the Zards and Kongs just fall out After moonshine that is Funke Kong's turn Funke Kong is going to go ahead and cast a Funke

Dispel magic moonshine's uh shape change Um, okay moonshine it is a ninth level spell, so it's a DC 19. Funky Kong with the crystal coconut has a plus 10 to intelligence. That's 19. Funky Kong turns Moonshine back into Moonshine. Can I counter-spel?

Yeah, you can counter-spel. What level counter-spel are you gonna use? Ooh, it doesn't do me. I don't have any ninth level spells. So I would have to roll for it. But just spell magic, because only 13. Oh, oh, we actually can just use, or just spell magic, because only level three.

So counter spell would dispel it. Okay, so you cast counter spell? Yeah. Funky Kong is gonna cast counter spell under counter spell. They're both level three spells. It goes through. His magic is just too funky moonshine.

You see moonshine, like Ty into us just defended the earth, goes up and goes toe to toe, just high level wizard battle with funky Kong, funky Kong dispels her purple worm form. moonshine, you go back to being moonshine. Well, that is heart monster. You monster. Okay, a hard one is gonna say, you go back to being Moonshine. Well, that is Heart One Stern. You monster. Okay, Heart One is gonna say, you know, if you're really trying to let us hang loose

at this party, you shoulda let my friend be a worm. You tell him, Heart One. And it was not cool. If you were always planning to kill us to torture me by making me give a speech. Really, you're as eloquent as ever, hard one. Watch this. I'm gonna roll, okay.

So I'm gonna take my attacks. I'm going to minus five on my attack roll to add 10 to the damage with Great Weapons Mastered. Great, and I can do that every time, right? Yes. Oh, and I'm gonna attack recklessly. Okay. So that's a dirty 20 on the first

Dirty 20 does not hit Wow, you see coconut magic Blocks and slows the Queen Samar as it gets close to him. Sorry. I'm stronger than I'm the strongest being that's ever been You know what I fucking I I feel like we all fought a god together I really should not die facing funky Kong. I'm gonna swing again. I'm gonna take all fought a God together. I really should not die facing Funky Kong. I'm gonna swing again. I'm gonna take all three attacks at once. That isn't that 20. So that's definitely it.

There we go. Then that is a 26. That hits. And then that's another crit. So that was a 19. Great. That is 114 damage. Jesus Christ.

You go up and you hit Funky Kong. It is just two gods battling on Congo Bongo Island. You see instantly, this is Dragon Ball Z rules, just instantly destroys the hall. You see everybody scattered except for you guys and Funky Kong. You see he bangs the staff against one of the trees. You see it freezes, and you see Congo-Bongo Island freezes. Snow falling all around you, eerie quiet, as you battle Funky Kong in the air.

Let my friend be a worm. I can't anymore. I don't have any more knife levels, but... No! The worm dreamer's fucking dead. I had like a huge bomb ring that I could have done to like kill most of you So that was actually a huge waste of my turn Well, you waste mine too bitch At the end of hard ones turn Funky Kong is going to go ahead and use a funky action

to Use the Crystal Coconut staff to crack moonshine with it. What? 20 to hit moonshine? That hits. moonshine you were hit for 36 damage. That is Boundor Kong's turn. Boundor now has Bound or Kong's turn Bound or now has Bound or Kong stats no longer as a half-ling Charges forward now you got now you got me mad. I'm silver back here. I'm silver back. Here you go Focus on the heat Bound or focus on the void focus on what you saw when you died Bound or it gets frazzled and misses the first attack. Don't focus that hard. This is the second attack.

Yeah. Ooh, but crits on a bite attack. You see him just latch on the Funky Kong's neck and bite so hard. It looks so fucking savage. Bound or does 50 damage with a Biden attack. At the end of Bounder's turn. Rip off his jorts.

Funky Kong is going to go ahead and once again use the magic staff on moonshine. Funky Kong crits. You see beams of white light coming off the crystal coconut staff as the Necromancer funky Kong spins it around and blasts moonshine with an arcane blast 65 damage from the crit Okay Mike's that is Bebs turn can we say that I had jaw jaw summoned before this? I think jaw jaw would want to come to the party true Hi there. You are. Hope you didn't need too many bananas.

Nope. Nope. Okay, you're clearly lying, but we got work to do. Alright, so first I am going to enter my elder champion state as my action. I power up and you see my hair transforms into a long upright quaff of bananas as if I'm a super say and made of bananas. Look at that flow. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I will cast destructive wave on Funky Kong. Oh shit, that's a bonus action spell. Surf that. I can cast a Paladin spell as a bonus action

when I activate my Elder Champions Day. Nice. Yeah. What kind of save does he make? It's going to be a Constitution saving throw, 22 to save. Oh, okay. He's still gonna take, I believe, half of the damage.

Okay, let's see. So he just takes 15 damage. Okay, 15 the damage. Okay, see. So he just takes 15 damage. Okay. 15 banana damage. This is the power of Polar. Believe it. Cool. Jaw-Jaw is also going to take a banana breath attack.

Okay. 21 constitution save. Okay, I pass this. That's gonna be another eight damage to Funky Kong. Havd or eight total, I have to. At the end of Beverly's turn, I'm gonna take another coconut staff attack on Munchine. That is a 22 to hit.

Hey, it hits. Munchine, you take 34 damage from the magic staff. Okay. Munchine, that is your turn. I will cast heal on myself. Okay, and how much is that for? Okay, so I'll do it at a fifth level. I mean, sixth level part of me.

Okay, Moon Shine, you hold up your hands. You cast heal on yourself and regain some HP. Once again, that is Funky Kong's turn. You see Funky Kong slams the staff. You guys are all floating in the air. You're also powerful. Just slams the staff down. guys are all floating in the air, you're also powerful, just slams the staff down. You see just an echo of power through the air.

This is an arcane cataclysm. Everybody go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Shout out to the two crew. I think I'm gonna use an indomitable and re-roll that saving throw okay And I shouldn't have as a waste I got 15 everybody fails everybody takes 75 force damage including Bound or Kong just this rush of power as you guys are all Knocked back just like thrown like 50 feet back into some trees that is

Hard one stern you think you're funky, but two people can be funky thrown like 50 feet back into some trees. That is hard one's turn. You think you're funky, but two people can be funky. There's only one funky con. Only one person can have my genius. I'm taking my crystal banana idea, global. Oh God, you're some kind of weird influencer marketing guy, aren't you? See, he's wearing so many bracelets.

I also wear bracelets. Hard one's gonna unbutton one button on his Hawaiian shirt and put it on a pair of sunglasses and be like, I think I can really help you scale here. Whoa, who are you, man? You're a worse nightmare. And I'm gonna attack him. I'm gonna do the same exact thing.

Minus five to plus 10 and attack recklessly. Cool. That is a 25. Gonna go ahead and cast shield. That misses. Okay, does a 27 hit? 27 just hits, yeah. 22 does not hit.

And a 26, does that hit? No. So I hit him once, I'm gonna action search. Just so much aura of power as hard one flies forward just swaying the hammer But funky Kong is unnaturally fast. So this is the power of the crystal coconut impossible. This is the power of funkiness I'm gonna tilt my sunglasses back on my head a little bit because I think they were obscuring my vision 25 that also doesn't have this is you don't know how to scale, you don't know anything.

Let me help you bring this to market. 25. Don't be corrupted by his funk. Another 27. A hit. Cret, you son of a bitch. Yes, there's a crit. Great.

Which means I get to attack once more and a 23. Mrs. All right, that is 139 damage. Ha ha. At the end of your turn, Funky Kong is going to cast Funky Secrets as a Funky Action. No.

And is going to pull Bevin' Close and go, this dude doesn't know how to scale. Do you? Go ahead. Maybe if I was properly motivated. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw, Bev. There we go, wisdom save. Yeah.

That's 18 plus 13. So that's what, 31. Okay, yeah, you realize in this moment that Funky Kong does not know how to scale. And does he realize that I do? And, Fapper, you realize that a hard one also doesn't know how to scale. And does he realize that I do? And if ever you realize that, hard one also doesn't know how to scale. And it's just two dudes with bracelets talking to each other

and they don't know anything. Just like business in real life. As he's trying to whisper secrets into my ear, I take one of the bananas from my hair and I plug it into his mouth. Say scale this. Ah! Bound or Kong is up.

He is going to take two fist attacks with the new 27 to hit hits on one of the fists. Misses on the second one. Misses on the third one. That is 11 damage. Bev, that is your turn. Great. I'm just going to get up in there in the mix. Uh, my Holy Avenger transforms into a glistening banana blade.

Uh, and I'm going to go ahead and take some slashes at Funky Kong. Sweet. Ooh, there we go. Um, that's going to be a 22 to hit. Misses. Oh wait, actually sorry, 19 plus 13 fuck. That's 32 to hit. Yes, that hits.

Okay. Um, I'll go and take the second attack. Okay. Wait, actually sorry 19 plus 13 fuck that's 32 to hit yes that hits okay I'll go and take the second attack Okay, that is going to be 19 to hit on the second attack misses cool. I'll do my damage for the first attack 21 damage on that attack and then as my bonus action Can I revivify ditty Kong? Yeah, that's a paladin spell. Yeah, you can. Revivify Diddy Kong. I fling a banana.

I fling a holy banana enchanted with the light of Polore into Diddy Kong's mouth. And they say, arise and fight once more, brave ape. I'll say in the presence of the Crystal Coconut, you do not have to reroll your desk saving throws. You see, Didi Kong is slumped over, having just been stabbed, and then suddenly just, gg, it's terrifying!

What did you see? Oh, I saw, that was in hell! There was a guy! Why? You see the crystal coconut mother? No, he kept talking about how we should go to, we should go play Rocket League! It was terrifying!

Do you still have a connection to him? Can you bring him here? Uh, uh, Moonshine, you're here in your sword. Um, Pender Greens goes, Hey Moonshine, uh, what are your friends with us here? Uh, we're... we're... We're thinking about getting into some, uh, to play Rocket League, we're into the Nishima. Counts co-op, and I notice you guys kind of a problem back there

Don't send me back here. I'm sorry about that. You know, I'll go ahead and I'll kill him and send him back to you You mean funky Kong not did he right moonshine sure I'm enrolled for Our year old for jojo. he did not get his breath weapon back Uh, but he'll go ahead and you know it help go ahead and bite funky, huh? Cool. I'm gonna kill you forever. You stupid turtle. That's not how it works. I don't think I don't know what spells you have 18's gonna miss right? Yes. That's okay jojo Why'd you hit the buffet table? Sorry everyone's really fast here. Gosh, you're all strong

Oh sorry, everyone's really fast here. Gosh, you're all strong. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side,

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you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-up or enter promo code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code pop-up for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Um, Moushine, that is your turn. Um, okay, I'm just going to go try to, uh, I just want to go to the and enjoy the show. Beth and hard one have their like godly weapons and are striking at it You just go up and grab the staff and you go hey

Funky get it back Go ahead and give me an athletics check Against funky Kong. Okay. I got a 27 yeah moonshine you successfully Pull the crystal coconut staff away from funky Kong. Moonshine, you all at once, you're a cacophony of Kong voices whispering to you. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. You can't handle it! You're not a

powerful enough mage! 18 total. 18 does not pass. All right, then I give myself a nat 20 and I cry. Oh! I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. Moonshine, you hold the Crystal Coconut staff. Um, it power overwhelms you at first. And then through all the voices,

you suddenly hear the voice of Donkey Kong. Hey little buddy, I'm in hell. Wait, I thought you were revived. No, that was didn't come. I'm Donkey Kong. I'm dead. You found my severed head in the cave. I'm so sorry. The lore is so muddy to me because I never played these video games as a kid. Right. I metaphorically, of course. Yeah, if there were to be games about all of this, you have not played any of them. Which is why only Beverly laughed when when we were doing the gig.

I noticed Beverly seems a lot more tuned into this than the hard one. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, sorry, go on. So you're in hell. You're in hell. So, so I'm dead. Yeah While moonshine's drooling a lot what's going on over there?

So walk me through this staff. What does it do? Okay, you have to search Inside yourself moonshine and you and you need to use the power of searching inside myself. You know what I mean? I wink. I can't see anything. I'm just sort of a spirit. I whisper into my sword, hey, will you wink at Donkey Kong and convey that for me? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, everybody. Yeah, kind of on purpose. Oh, you know what? We had a decon with viral viral.

I think it's probably gonna get some like three-point burial party. We can do one computer. We can put the computer on hard. We can prepare that for another friend if you want. Yeah, we're thinking this really, wow. Yes, to use the crystal coconut, moonshine, you just have to look deep within yourself and decide, am I a donkey Kong or am I a little buddy? And if your answer is true, then the coconut mother will give you strength. All right, you know what? There's a time in my life when I would have felt bad saying this, but I don't feel like

that right now. I'm a fucking don't call it. Moonshine turns into a purple worm. You say the crystal coconut glows and you see Moonshine turns into a giant purple worm and funky concept. Can we say that? Can we say that just to keep the crystal coconut staff away? Can we say that?

It's like sticking out of the purple worms ear like a little cute tip. It is an earring. Yeah, it is. Just a second. A coconut cute tip. You see funky Kong starts backing up and he goes, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

We can make a lot of money here. What do you say we go into business together? I feel a lot of synergy with all of us. Looks like my friend here knows how to scale. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha thing is my whole turn. No, I'd say you're allowed to take a turn. All right, then I will fucking bite him and tail sting him. I just create. I swear to God, I just can't find my boss. Yes, dude, Bravo. Okay, so that is 37 damage. And it must succeed a DC 19 dexterity saving throw or be swallowed. Let me know what it rolls. Without the crystal coconut staff, that is just a 13.

You guys see Funky Kong is swallowed whole by the purple worm. Wait. Whoa. No, please. Blinded, restrained, and takes 21 acid damage at the start of each of my turns, okay? And is there any way for him to get out or is he just slowly digested? If I take 30 damage or more on a single turn from a creature inside of it, then I have to succeed a DC-21 constitution, say.

Okay, so the funky Kong is death-. So that was a moonshine stern. Bunky Kong is inside and funky Kong is going to what the hell can funky Kong do. Funky Kong is going to start doing arcane blasts from within the worms belly. Kelly gets four attacks is gonna hit all four times. Okay. That is 60 damage to the worm moonshine. You guys just see beams of light. You see the purple worm goes translucent for a little bit. Nothing can stop my vision.

I will expand. You see the purple worm is expanding actually I still get to do a constitution save though. Yes before I regurgitate Okay roll the 13 on the die. What does it have it has a plus 11? Ah! I'm pissed! I'm a moonshine. Manages to keep funky down. But you see that eye the purple worm look really queasy. A little, a little like the way this one tastes.

Did you have a bad banana earlier moonshine? I'll say that you guys can do, I'll say that you guys can do damage to funky Kong and a moonshine the purple worm. If she opens her mouth and you shoot things in there. Oh. Yeah, just so you know, I have a lot of hit points as a purple worm, so feel free to just damage me.

Well. That's well. That is hard once turned. Moonshine opens her mouth. You see Funky Kong, it's rounding an acid. Save me, please, please. Could I choose to regurgitate him just so that they can, could I choose to kill my cons?

Yeah, you can choose to fail. You guys can just fail. Okay, so I'll choose to fail and just spit him back up. You see Funky Kong emerges nude and covered in acid. It is eaten away, his sunglasses. Oh, is he skinless now? Is he furless now? Hi, he just looks like hard one.

See, Bel Noir, that's what you looked like. Whoa, before you put the pants on, hard one, that's your turn. First of all, I bow quickly to Munchain, I thank you. I'm a worm, I don't understand your human customs. Just kidding. Did that worm just wink at me? Rear, rear! Papa's just hands are up just like what's going on?

Rie! Papa's holding onto the Q-tip. Papa, we don't know what's going on. Moonchance will wear her now. She's got a magic Q-tip. Funky Kong. Last time he was covered in shit. This time with stomach acid.

I'm really mad because I spent three weeks explaining the plot of Donkey Kong to all of you around the campfire. Every night, I told you a tale about the stories of Donkey Kong and Kongo Bongo Island and I guess you weren't paying attention so I don't know I'm a little peeved. I was paying attention. It's still a lot even if you're listening. That is fair. It's surprisingly dense. All right so without sunglasses or fur this guy has no brand identity and he doesn't deserve to live. I'm gonna attack him.

Yes, his bracelets have melted away. You don't even have any hordes. Wait, where's my blazer? My blazer! Your blazer, your denim. I'm gonna shit out your blazer, like that. That isn't that 20. That isn't that 20.

I have crit on him. No! Oh yeah, I'm also, I'm doing the minus, minus five to plus 10. I miss on the second attack. Another crit. The third. A dirty 20 that's gonna miss, but I get an extra.

That's a 19 that's gonna miss. And I will action search. Oh, she's gonna get you now. That is a third crit. Good God. A fourth crit. Oh my God. 18 extra, dirty, all right. So that's four Oh my God. 18 extra 30.

Alright, so that's four. I only hit on four attacks. Okay, but they're all crits. Yeah, you see, yeah, moonshine, Bobbits, funky Kong, back onto the ground. Sizzling terribly. Covered in stomach acid. Please have mercy.

Just so everyone knows I could have held him down, but I wanted to make sure y'all had fun on him. No, no, yeah. That is why I bow to you. That is 156 damage. Hard one, finish funky con. Yes. It's not my place to kill you,

but it's not the place of this worm here either. Moonshine, I bow with their time, and I say, how'd you like to kill him as a bomb-snipping dog? Hahaha. I use my final wild shape to become a bomb-snipping dog and I sniff him, particle by particle, absorb him. This is also how I would want to go if it's any consolation. Wait! No!

It just takes a full 10 minutes as a moonshine arcane snips him and just absorbs him, dementia style. Until funky Kong is finally gone, funky Kong is finally defeated. So I guess I'll turn to the people of this great nation and say who usually wields this crystal staff. You see the few remaining survivors look around and you see Ditty, the places yearly decimated on holidays.

You see the newly resurrected Ditty con goes, well, normally it would be DK But his severed head is inside the case wait a minute Is there some way that we could use the power of the crystal coconut once more to revive DK? Yeah, I put the crystal coconut staff just up the nostril of Do anything it's not doing anything yet. Maybe we all need to champ something or sway together. Maybe hard one can give another speech.

That was not cool, but a shot. I was set up to fail. Give the speech please, only you can expire the gods. Our what I'm telling you the crystal staff is speaking to me and you hold the key to this. I can't I can't do it not without a beat. Pop out get the wood block. Get the wood block. Rear. Rear.

Or maybe you can rear box. Rear. Rear. Rear, rear, rear, rear, rear, rear, rear, rear, nice, okay. Yeah, every holiday, funky got his way, but not this day, not if we had our say. I don't think so. Now it's time to go.

We are under the worm for a second. Two can do the worm. Two can play at that game. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr staff and let's all have a laugh. You see just great silence. Hard one does the worm to stunning silence. It's just like you're my breath. I'm happy. This sounds. This sounds a hard one.

She's hitting the wood floor and just, after a little bit, you see Paw Boss, Paw Boss spits up a little bit of his earlier dinner. Yeah, it stops me boxing. And you see, Ditty Kong does. That was really great, but I thought you were going to cast a spell. The crystal coconut kid like, multiply a spell, but whatever you just did,

can I cast Ray's dead on the head? Do you need the full body for Ray's dead? Oh, you do, you do. Yeah, I can do maybe reincarnation. Great, great. Yeah, someone book me, please. Go ahead and roll the reincarnate table for Donkey Kong. It's a D100, right?

To D100, right? It's a D100. We'll say 51 through 100 is Kong and 150 is Zard. I crashed my fingers for Zard. Please. 37. 37. Zard, baby. The light of the crystal coconuts fills this broken room. You see the ceiling has been completely destroyed

You see it. Yeah, light fills this room Mostly broken down the ship is like crashed right above it. You see that from the head of Donkey Kong, you see his nose elongates until it makes like the face of a crock. And you see he turns it to a big muscular zard. And you see as the power of the countrymen magnifies. You see other victims of the attack begin to resurrect as well and once again all is well in Donkey Kong Country. Wow. Nobody ever needs to die here because of your

powerful gym. You just get to experience death how fun what a fun annual tradition you all experience the terrible void of hell and then you return to life hey hey pen degrees is putting on a good show down there okay let's not call it the terrible void of hell the man cave of hell or whatever it is yeah I don't know I've played five games a rocket league you really played them all yeah it's a little void donkey, Donkey Kong just has a thousand yards stare and he goes, he just never gets tired of playing Rocket League ever. He just says, should we play another game or should we get something to eat? And he says that after every game. Well, he's nothing if not hospitable. You see, the survivors all gather around you

guys in Donkey Kong in the ruins of this great hall. And you see Donkey Kong goes, you've saved my people and thus completely humiliated me. And once again again made yourselves the leader And people start Um, wait playing the drums and surrounding you And you see But this is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. I humiliated myself. You guys you heard the you heard me We're all humiliated. It was great. Oh great leader. No hard want. Don't be afraid of the throne Okay, you deserve it. I understand you have some sort of imposter syndrome in this great oh great leader no hard one don't be afraid of the throne okay you deserve it I understand you have some sort of imposter syndrome in this

situation but you have above all else earn this station not like this you see you see Donkey Kong approaches hard one it goes I challenge you for the rank of Donkey Kong. You will have it. I don't want it. I don't want it. Didian Dixie go up to Bev and go, and we challenge you for the rank of little buddy. You're on! And Cranky goes up to Moon Shiningos. And you for their title of the Arch Wizard of the Kongs. All right, fuck it. Yeah, let's wrestle Everybody go ahead and make athletics checks First we'll say um Bev first um did he and Dixie? Fuck that's just a nine. Oh my god. Yeah, you see um Beverly is Quickly you see Dixie is able to whip her hair around Beverly's

heel knock him down Beverly's green hat falls off and you hear a hush amongst the crowd. I'm gonna do something fucked up I'm gonna say that Dixie rolled the five. Oh my God. Don't you worry, you are the little buddy now. Oh wait, but he still just got a nine total. Yeah. Even with cheating Dixie Kong wins. What? Can I act you, sir?

No. So you see Beverly loses the hat. Sorry, hat. There's a hush amongst the crowd You see you see executioner Kong comes out with a giant sword Beverly down they go to swing the sword and bow to my god banishing smile on myself Disappears before he could go away I end up in hell with binder greens Let's play let's pray rocket league. Yep. Yeah, let's let's do it load it up It's the same game I only have a madcatch controller for player 2, I hope that's real good.

It's so sticky, Pendered. Well, you know, I spilled some cold red on it, and then it spilled some maha, but I put some maha blast on it, figuring I'd get some blue on there. That's kind of cleaning chemicals, if you will. Why is there cat food stuck to it? There's a cat food. You don't have a cat, do I have a cat? How do I get out of that? You're taking a long time to answer this. No, I've been eating garbage, Beverly.

I'm not going to lie. I've been paying too much. I'm kind of a freaking now. There's a pile of gold right over there. Why are you not paying for food? Oh, no. It's a tough economy. You know, it's a mess. All right, you keep talking. I'm kicking your ass in rocket

Let's do this Moonshine go ahead and give me an athletics check against cranky Kong actually give me an arcana check against cranky Kong Okay, 16 that's tie that's a tie. You guys see the real beams of light. That's a rola You guys see the roll up beams of light. That's a roll up. Okay, 14 plus seven. That is a 21 that defeats cranky Kong. You see executioner Kong comes out and cranky Kong goes, I'm never yield. Kill me. I'm not the archmage.

I grab his hand and I play shift to hell. I grab his hand and I play and shift to hell Moonshine and cranky Kong suddenly appear on the couch I'm sorry cranky Kong no one deserves that. Hey, Pina Greene. Do you have another controller? No You're the one I got some old on in 1064 controllers, but controller two through four mad cats I hope that's okay. I just feel like you could have bought at least one other normal controller You know Beverly the economy is the problem. It's really the problem you in charge of the economy It's a question that everybody has Pendor greens goes and he puts in Mario Party as

Pendor greens cranky Kong moonshine sit around play m64. All right. I'll call Yoshi Probably should have stuck around for hard one, but you know, hard one. Don't worry. I'll find a way to help. I just saw an executioner coming at Frankie Kong and I just had to get him out of there. You get the sense that you could yield and these people are deciding not to yield. I'm a hard one. Go ahead and give me an athletics check gladly Shout out to the two crew, but I am gonna use a lock point okay Donkey Kong got a 19 Okay, honestly this is good because there's only four in 64 controllers

So if hard one came it would really mess up the rotation. I got a 28. That's right. Yeah! Hard one. You once again, since last spinex giving, you once again throw down Don Kikong. You pin him. There's a cheer in the crowd as they rip the tie

from his neck, put it around you. This is DK, and you hear a chant go up. DK, Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong is here. They go into a chant. You see Donkey Kong does yield in shame and goes off to live. That's right.

The rest of his days in the forest. You can go to hell if you want. I got some friends playing Mario Party down there, but I'm gonna sit on this throne. I put on my sunglasses. Hard one, you put on your sunglasses. You sit on the throne of Congo, Congo Island. Once again, the Donkey Kong,

and that is where we'll end our session. Ooh. Ooh. I don't deserve it. Despite being defeated, a new funky Kong rises. It's really, really so stupid. Wow. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you.

Thank you, Murf. Thank you. Thank you, Murf. Thank you, Murf. It is a gift every year. So stupid. And every year, I still don't know the difference between Diddy Kong and Kanko.

I know less. I know less after having played twice. I know less than our donkey con than I did before. No, it makes sense. I'm gonna do a lecture for all of you. It's gonna be great. You know, a lot of people asked for a sequel. I think we have stretched this about as far as it can go. So this is a big disagree. Disagree. I, I sobbed laughing when, when a hard one was making both of his speeches. We'll be back friends. We'll be back. It's my nightmare to be that again. I think that's just a business conference with hard one trying to get resources so he

can really build Congo, Bongo Island. And that's our flywheel. Prove that he can scale. Oh my God. Sweet, thank you all so much for listening. You can listen to our short rest over on patreon.com slash nadpot. That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing.

Yeah. We all do. I'm just anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Ooh, I think we have some new merch that's dropped in the store. Oh, this is true. Yeah, it's cool hoodie from Callum, a Thorncourcuddy, along with a two crew beanie. It's coming in two color ways and with and without pom-pom options. So yeah, check it out. You could buy one with a pom-pom and then cut the pom-pom

off. And that's just a little friend. Yeah, you could buy with and have without having your way. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Head on over to shop.nadpod.com to check out our new merch. Next week, we're going to be doing something for the Patreon, but in the main feed, we're going to be doing another feed drop of the second episode of Zach's rotating heroes podcast. Cool. Featuring Emily Oxford, Shavon Thompson and Mike Trepp. I like those people. Yeah. they're great. Check them out.

It's very fun. Now you can check out Zach's Patreon as well. If you'd like access to the episodes early patreon.com slash rotating heroes pod. And in the meantime, you could follow us all on Twitter at CHMIRF is me at called. He's called well, at the extra Demi and atchikur, which is Jake and you can tweet about the show using hashtag, that pod, that's NADDPOD. We are we y'all. We are we y'all.

We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all.

We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. We are we y'all. Hey, hey, it is time to thank our benevolent council of elders, starting with Julia Walsh. Brad D. Jeffree S. Halder Frostback Steel Breaker. Matt M. Scribes Hyde by Beverly to spread the gospel of Donkey Kong Country. At first they were eager to help his cause, but after the 5th hour of bed explaining the Kong family tree, they are actually beginning to regret it. Jordan DJ Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B. Diddy Kongs even littler buddies.

Each of them is a small primate who wears a single item of clothing. For example, Jive G is a spider monkey who wears a tiny red belt. They were busy plotting revenge for Diddy but got trapped under a large banana. Oh well, Shubber at the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scott D. The Zard ensemble for Beverly's production of the Coco Nutcracker. Wow, unfortunately the production was canceled after all five Zards, attempted to do a pirouette and simultaneously whacked each other in the head with their tails. Oops, Danny P, Alainacy, Michael McDee, the head mixologist of the Blue Man in, and Victor T. Balnor's boy, programmers working on the Balnor Kong video game, it is an action adventure game

where you play as a depressed eight-man in search of a pair of pants. Naughty Dog will be publishing an HBO has already purchased a three-season live action adaptation. Wow, sounds gritty. Andrew B. Justin I. TJM. The Noembarbarian. Alina M. Traylae the Cray Thay. And Jared E. Banana. Oh, no. Oh, that's hard to say. Banana Necromancers. Banana Necromancers. Okay, hired by the band of boobs to revive funky Kong so that they can spend more time using their level 20 abilities. Alright, Banana Neckroamsers.

Christopher B. Austin Bonso, MR. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt and Octo-Lic. Kongs and Zards who have forsaken the coconut mother, even worse, to worship Blue. Oh my god, to worship Purple Worm worm moonshine instead, that's fair. They call her the great purple banana mommy, and just in case you were wondering, yes, they are 100% occult, I would actually join. Gage M. Scokilla, Destincy, Richard X Machina, Michael L. and Kelvin Nudel's flight attendance on funky flights.

Their uniform includes a sick bandana necktie, a name tag with the hang loose sign, and a sweet pair of shades. Sergio Salazar Solomon Sakurai as Desesuani, Tras the Traveler, Jorie as Dana G, Kaillum, L, and Ryan. Poppa's agents and managers who are livid, actually livid, with how little screen time he got in his holiday special. Honestly, same. Jack L. Flawless Whale, Temporal, Sam L. Nicholas C. and Reese and S, the publishing company that bought hard-won speeches, a leather-bound, guilt-edged compendium of all of hard-won speeches, no one has bought a copy at ouch, and even hard-won declined a free copy.

Okay, that hurts me to the core. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Colton B. Adam G. The Bohumian lore masters who live in a remote island and are keepers of all of the lore of Bohumia and who are also relieved that Murf went easy on their arching quills this year. Nice. Mateo C. Nebadger, Panima James, Adrian the Halfling Bard, and John H.N. a council of Elder Kong sages who blame the boobs for disseminating their sacred utterance, but this is ridiculous ever since the boobs visited. Novelty, but this

is ridiculous shirts have been popping up in souvenir shops and Munchine has already bought a few. Dan, Nikki W. Drew Nasty, C.C. Luluulu, Boundor's Kong family that asked him to come home for the holidays so much, they also zoomed Boundor once a week to ask if he is seeing anyone, and if he might like to meet one of their Kong friends, Kong kids. Oh, let's set up, man, you should give it a shot. Jay, Barnes & Nader, Douglas A, and Michelle O. The Kongs who started a half-ling step-dancing troop inspired by Beverly's graceful performance. Can't wait to see him live.

Ritterin, Timmy R, Lucas B, Aaron S, and Kevin M. The Shape Changers Collective who has argued that the Bohemian standards and protocols of fair war needs to include an article that requires anyone who has cast the shape-change spell to get at least a round of cool monster attacks before someone dispels it. Fair enough. Austin C. Hogfishes above average hog, I love when I have to say that. New York, Steven C. and K.J. Ruthless Kongs's CEOs who create ape apps that track users to sell their data to banana companies. Sadly, without Funky Kong, it looks like they might not be able to scale. You absolutely need someone that can scale. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to say it, but you do. Rahul

and Mike K, Maxwell C and Nick L, the crew of the SS Stormborn who are now stuck in a weird timeline where their captain is the new Donkey Kong. Hopefully they are cool with being paid in bananas. And at least there's a whole bunch of free porn on the ship. Quaranty, Eckett Thor, 666, Justin Raccoon, Nick W and Michael see the cabal of little buddies. These nasty little sidekicks will hunt Beverly to the end of Earth for escaping justice and vow to fill their baseball caps with his blood. Yo, as may am, Spartagnus Nathan, Kazmir, the all-knowing and big, bad, Beardow, the mad, the con council who proposed that Congo-Bongo island should stop celebrating holidays,

seeing as it always ends in everyone getting blown up. They were promptly blown up. That is fitting. Eric McTee, Jack Mihoff, Nice, Burley T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius, Cesar Augustus, Dermanicus, and Christian A, the creators and programmers of Balnorcon Country, the worst selling game in the history of video games after two days on the market with a with Neriah Sale, it was flagged for nudity and pulled from all stores. Wow, I would pay for a collector's edition of that thing. Jay, Dragonborn, Jonathan O, The Sandrayan, Ben A and Felddannis.

The previous five guests who were asked to give the two-minute long uninterrupted Coco Knight speech, each one was too humiliated to show their face on Congo, Bongo Island ever again. Dave H. Catherine as David Kay, Christian as Keith Kay, Brittany B, music execs who heard hard-won slam poetry with Paul Paws beatboxing and instantly offered them a record deal. They were immediately fired by their bosses. Yeah, that is...that is...that tracks, you know, just it just does. Kyle H. Emilio D. Frankie Koala, Big Bad John, Aston S. and Blair, the bug Blair, Bar Blairian. Hard ones, speech writers, who have actually, they wrote an incredibly eloquent and charming speech for Hard Went to deliver, but you know,

Hard Went can't read, so we decided to wing it. Oh well, worked out, didn't it? Punk Chop, Chanel, M, Argent, Alice, Minette F, and Pat L. Marketing execs who have been hired to help funky scale, unfortunately like many marketing execs, they actually have no idea what they're doing. They do have a bunch of chunky bracelets though, so, you know, they have that going for them. Lauren H. Janina E. Maddie Y. The eldest berry and Ryan S. Historians who have been tasked with helping Papa understand the lore of DK's island oddly, the more they explain the less he gets it. The bone duster, Joshua H. Robert Crisp. Yadrazel and Brent Lee C. Hard one's

new royal court of Zards and Monkeys. They are on board with a lot of hard ones changes, but can't get why he downgraded the speaker system to a speaking stone in a solo cup. Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Mike could be Carly and Clarke of the Thunderfuck's Jorge C and Connor Savage. Pendergreens Rocket League coaches. I don't know why he needs a team of people to tell him to just mash the buttons harder, but you know, that's Pendergreens money, so, uh, what am I, who am I to say anything? Alright? B. Chef Russell H. Christopher J. O. called the Goldfish Gremlin Logan S. and Benjamin S. K. Giant Worm Handlers who were absolute experts when it comes to taming the

O. Alright, they were, they were all just, wow, that happened so fast. Leviathan, DMA, Bioquart, 7 Remington, CD, Mike R, and Everett P. Bounder Kong's tailors who are making him his first pair of pants, no one wanted to help him when he walked into the store, because he wasn't wearing pants, but they all eventually realized that they were his only hope. Carson E. Sean K, Julia W. and Lindsay W. Sunglass makers who were actually the first to know of Funky's evil plan when you showed up and he ordered a specialty pair of shades.

So yeah, thanks guys, thanks for the heads up, and thank you all.