Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 1: The Reaping Season

Episode Date: October 16, 2020

Welcome to Eldermourne! Fia Boginya (Emily Axford) investigates a strange incident in the woods, Zirk Vervain (Caldwell Tanner) has a run-in with a local gang, and Henry Hogfish (Jake Hurwitz) puts his dukes up. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Horror Tension Builder" by original_sound at Freesound.org."Fia" by Emily Axford."Zirk" by Emily Axford."Henry" by Emily Axford."Eldermourne" by Emily Axford."Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford."The Posse" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's a Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."The Whisperwood" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Greetings, my podcast. Children have a seat, and let me tell you a tale in a vaguely British narrator voice that I slowly lose as the story goes on. Once upon a time, there was a god, the creator, a builder of worlds who had three children in their image.

The first was the elder who followed in their parents footsteps and created a world, elder mourn, and all of its people. But the elder was a benevolent being, they wanted the people to know only bliss, to be on equal footing with the gods and inherit all of their knowledge, but the creator knew that this would not do. So they had a second child, the Reaper, to judge the people of Eldomorn at the end of their mortal lives and decide who was worthy to join the gods in reverie. But the ensuing world was grim and puritanical, the people feared the gods and the elder

wept for them. The creator knew that this would not do. So the creator had a third child, the trickster. One who would bring magic and whimsy to Elder Morn and live amongst its people. The trickster created the sprites, the fairies, and some would say the feeling of joy itself and this the creator thought this would do. So they left to create other worlds, left us to the children. And children...

will have their quarrels. The Reaper and the Trickster battle for influence over El Dormorn, he wishes to return it to an age without magic and ascent a plague of undead horrors to punish humanity for its arrogance will magic survive the wrath of a vengeful God will the realm itself survive? I don't know this is only the first episode so I guess you got to listen for like a while Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign this is not another D&D podcast

Welcome to elder Morn, everybody. Elder Morn. I always want to say it in a witchy voice. Gotta be witchy. I am your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, and I am joined by my beautiful players. And usually we go around and they introduce their characters and usually say a little fun rhyming poem or something, but we don't really know your characters yet. So rather than spoiling it, why don't we start by just going around, saying your character name, and then what level you are and what class you are, and kind of as we meet your character, you can talk about it a little bit. And if anybody wants any more information on the characters, they can go back and listen

to Episode Zero because we talked about the world there, and we talked about sort of our character design process. But let's get into it, starting with Jake Herwitz. Henry Hoggfish, a level two fighter and future Econite. Very good. Looking to the future. And then we've got Emily Axford. Via Borgina.

I am a witch, but mechanically that is a one level cleric, one level wizard. The classic formula. Vonderful. Multi-classing already. There is no witch in 5e. I have to make it up. That is true And then we've got called well Tanner

Zirk for vein a level two artificer and an aspiring alchemist. Well, I thought you were gonna rhyme for a second. I was gonna be pissed Explicitly banned rhymes not just for this but for the whole time. Oh my god. You can't even talk about Leanne rhymes rhymes, not just for this, but for the whole time. Oh my God. You can't even talk about Leanne Rhymes. Why did my character loves Leanne Rhymes? What are we supposed to do? He has fans rhymes. I'm gutted, Murph.

I'm gutted really nothing to talk about. Anyway. How do I live without Leanne Rhymes? Very good stuff. Stop, I would give you. Absolutely dare you. I said that wasn the last. That's a lot of fun. OK, so let's talk a little bit about where

we're going to be starting the game. So our characters do not know each other yet, but are all citizens of the Under Mountain Empire, which spans the entire southern half of a continent, under a mountain range that protects them from raiders to the north. We are going to be beginning our journey in the northernmost imperial territory called Outerboro in a town called Thorncirk.

Thorncirk sits along a popular trade route near River. It is a bit of a transient town. A lot of people stopping in for the night as they travel for trade, either by land or by sea. But there are a decent amount of folk who live their full time and apply their trade at the docks or in the market square. We are a few weeks into autumn.

This is the beginning of the reaping season. And the sun has just set on a cool fall night in Dorn Kirk, the magical sprites that inhabit all of El Dormorn fill the sky, like glowing stars, some buzz around, like fireflies, and others light the lanterns that line the streets. They look like gas lamps, these glass fixtures set atop black steel poles were hanging as like sconces on the sides of buildings. They have enchanted bulbs that attract sprites. As the sprites hover around it,

they create an effect that causes it to cast an orange glow on the cobblestone streets below. Brilliant. The town is run by the barren, Swashtian Fenrose. Swashtian. Let me write that down. Whose family sigil is the Red Rose?

The Fennrose family has lived here a long time. So in their honor, there have been many rose bushes planted and they have overgrown thick with thorns. You see moss and ivy cover up the sides of the older stone buildings in town a Fountain with a small statue of an old noble long forgotten sits in the market square and is covered with flowers and lily pads nearby the various merchants pack up their wagons and finish up for the day many of them heading into the local tavern called the Copper Dagger.

And we follow a trickling stream from the fountain south to the river where dock workers load up cargo on small barges bringing goods from the capital or sending things farther into out of burrow. Our story begins across the river over a short bridge and into the woods just outside of town. The young witch of the woods, Fia Boginia, wanders the dark forest with her faithful spellbook, Bookfar. Bookfar. Bookfar is flapping next to you and animated flying spell book. Fiya is searching for something that was stolen from her private library.

You trespass on what belongs to me. Magic attracts sprites and Fiya has a fun but sometimes playfully antagonistic relationship with the local fairy folk who love to steal enchanted books and fly off to the forest to play with them. Emily, do you want to go ahead and describe Fia as she searches the dark wood for her missing spellbook? Of course. Fia is a witch, but she wears a rusty old blade on her back. She has short black hair and baby bangs and tattoos of protective warts She also wears like the tall lace-up boots of a hunter over her shoulder. Obviously we have little book var But she also has a book belt dangling from her hand She's kind of holding it like it would look almost like a weapon because knowledge is a weapon if you think about it

Yes, okay the most powerful one of all. As a book belt a book belt usually it has two tombs today however it just has one a very disagreeable high-level spell book named philip. Fuck you you're never gonna be able to read me. Okay so one of these days you will beg for it I know this. She also has bandages on her hands because her other book she carries with her is a little bish-jerry named Volk whose pages bite so you know opening it up is yeah she more than just paper cuts and Fia you know Fia loves nothing more than a good cigar and is strong cup of tea. Very good. So maybe she is smoking a cigar.

Maybe she takes out a matchbook, like say cigar. This is a normal activity. The sprites have come, they take my book. I know that Vogue is going to eat them up. So it's a loose, loose for everyone. You see bookfar, who's this animated spell book that's flapping next to you, flying in the sky, begins flapping in such a way to put out the matches. Oh, miss, please don't do that. We shouldn't be smoking it. Well, but I lied to you on fire or wants. Okay, wants and I immediately man view.

Well, first off, that would be reason enough for me to stop this morning. Okay, it was this morning. It was this morning. I understand. Very recent, you can't just say it just happened once, when it just happened. Okay, but I promise it's not going to be a pattern. How about that?

Okay, promising it's not going to be a pattern is very good, but also we are out in the woods in the middle of reaping season. There could be a horror out here or something. If there is a horror, I will do away with it. At least I hope. I do not have a good track record with killing horrors. But Fia, you see that the glowing sprites out here are few and far between, and usually the forest is full of them. They do, you know, fly around the town and everything, but they're mostly around magic objects, or they're around, you know, people who are having fun or being whimsical, or they're around like children. But out here in

the forest, normally they can like play and kind of be themselves. But out here, you see very few of them, which is strange. And the ones you do see are glowing blue. And they change colors based on how they feel, and blue means they're sad, or they're scared, or for some reason they're fucking with you and want you to think they're sad or scared. Okay, it's gotta be the last one. Okay, we are acting blue. What joke are we playing on Fia? I don't like any of these options. I don't want them fucking with us, they steal us, Volk is gone, he's dead, let's leave him, let's leave Volk. No, we have to go get Volk, okay Volk is, you know Volk is, he said, he only bites me, he doesn't say mean things to me like Philip. You're never gonna be able to read me, you're too stupid.

Yeah, just wait, just wait, you know what, I'm going to be able to read me. You're too stupid. Yeah, just be, just be. You know what? I'm going to read you front to back. Fia, as you loudly argue with books and smokes the guards through the forest, go ahead and give me an investigation check as you try to track down where these pixies might have taken bulk.

Ooh, Fia's first role is a 17 plus four. Ooh, baby, 21. Fia, you see is a 17 plus 4. Ooh baby, 21. Fia, you see tracks in the woods here? It looks like a horse has stomped through here. And you also see near the hoof prints are a bunch of tiny dull, blue glowing figures. Doll, is this normal to me? Like, said sprites, wet sprites. They are dead sprites.

I'm sure they're not wet. I cling to the hope that they are just wet and I walk over to them. They are bone dry. Oh no. Usually, usually their auras are so bright that they just look like glowing spheres, but without them you see tiny people, the size of bugs with long pointy ears that extend over the tops of their heads and tiny wings. Can I do an arcana check to see what kind of like magic or energy might have caused this? Yeah, certainly. Ooh, 19 plus 6, 25.

Ooh, baby. Fia. You would know that sprites are weakened when they're around horrors, but you've never seen them drop dead from one. But your mentor was very knowledgeable. She was a blade witch, formerly part of a group called the blades who hunted horrors.

And you remember her telling you about very powerful horrors that could kill sprites just by being around their necrotic oras. Like a necratic poison that they just fell from the sky. Exactly. And near them, you see that the book you were searching for, Volk, has been split in half and deanimated. Volk, Volk, I know you always bike me, but this is my beast jedi. Oh, it's a murder.

It's a murder. Oh my goodness. I take it into my hands. Can I cast mending on it to heal a book or something? You can cast mending on a book to heal it. So you collect the pieces. You see green magic swirls in both your hands, making like connective tissue between the two parts of the book, and finally it whew, comes back together.

You see this leather bound book suddenly grows teeth, and at first starts freaking out. Okay, okay, you're back to yourself, you're back to yourself, you have saved you. Start spiting, but then start going. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Go ahead and give me a perception check, Fiya. It's damned horses. Would you believe I rolled another 17? Another 17. With a three becomes 20. And Fiya, what is your decks? A hundred. What is your actual decks?

That's Emily Axford. What is your decks? My decks is a plus one. A plus one, okay. Just a little something for me to have in the background here. No reason. Fiya, P just a little something for me to have in the background here. No reason. Fia P's a little bit. Fia as you try to comfort Volk who's now very scared and usually is fighting you but fights to get into its little book satchel. Okay, it is hard not to be a little bit happy that

you want to be in a book belt. You see Philip next to it goes, fuck you, you little coward. You little fucking coward, you're so easy to me. Okay, okay, the only person we call a coward is Bookbot because he is objectively a coward. That's right, everyone being nice to Volk, Volk is brave, it is I who want to go home right now. Volk just wants to be on the belt. What? Bookbot, please. Okay.

That's you, are you with Bookbot? now. Volk just wants to be on the belt. What? Book that please. Okay. As you argue with the book's part. You are a coward, but you get admitted, okay? Just the same way I am beautiful, but I know. No one's talking about it. No. Fia, as you argue with your books, you suddenly hear a ding, ding, ding, ding. Okay. Fianos, Fianos that the sound of a bell is often used to order ferries. This is something that I have heard. In the distance, you see a dark figure silhouette in the moonlight. It's atop a horse and holds a staff in one hand. In the other, it rings a small bell

like a parent calling home their children for dinner. And something does answer the call. Suddenly, a needle blight, this little horror of nature, this little gremlin with skin of bark and thorns, bursts from a nearby bush and attempts to shoot you with thorns Your initial I'm gonna make it that 17 plus one with your perception check You clocked this before I can get to you you can act first But you see this thing flies out of the bushes book far flapping around I yield we give up we give up

Take us step back. I'm going to use a sword and I don't want to actually Bookfarer's already halfway home. It's just starting to fly. Okay. I'm going to keep this very simple very instinctual I will take a sword to the blight great I swear to God I just rolled another Oh my god Oh my god I'm gonna start counting if you get 17 17's in a row then I am we called Guinness 22 to hit yes believe it or not you hit you hit this bad baby Groot

That's 11 that's exactly how much health this thing had finish it flies at you in the air Oh, bye bye baby. I am not accustomed to actually killing the horrors and not just taking scarters home from my encounters to learn from, so I am going to just really swing wildly. Slice it in half, but hopefully the stickiness of its blood will keep it onto, will make it stick to the sword so that it half of it gets sort of like almost like a baseball home run. You crack this thing in half, instantly half its body flies off in one direction, half its body flies off in the other

direction and you are covered in disgusting, dark red goop. You see book far is also covered. Oh, this is terrible. This is terrible. Book matter what? It's like ink. I'm a goddamn book. I don't like to be covered in goo.

I begrudgingly cast Mending so that he's no longer covered. But I leave it on myself. You are still covered in goo. Fia, you look up and you see that the figure is gone. And it looks to have headed in the direction of town. And you have a sudden flashback to eight years ago, when your mentor, the blade which Batilda went missing. Yeah, Batilda. The last time you saw her, she was leaving for a trip,

and you saw a strange figure waiting for her on the other side of the bridge when she left town. And he wore the regalia of a horror hunter, but he also carried a little bell. Oh, no, I thought that Batilda just didn't want to train me anymore. Book far. We need to find this fucker. And with that, we will cut to Zirk Vervein, a different fucker.

A fucker nonetheless. the left. Zirk. Hello. You are at work. Zirk at work. Zirk at work. You are at a place called Dr. Aloicious Nebels Fantabulous House of Health. You old nine to five.

The old nine to five. Well nine to whenever. Whenever Dr. Nebel needs me. Yeah, Zirk just walks in completely miserable as just like little fairies are dancing around this alchemical lab with like little machines that operate themselves and all these like fun objects. Just kidding, I love it.

The upstairs is full of potions and bobbles and fun trinkets kind of designed to make the patients feel welcome, but Zirk is downstairs right now, and the downstairs is for grim business, and also accounting. It doesn't get grimmer than that. Well, that is a grim business. You are in a cold room with blank stone walls, various instruments for poking and prodding

sit on a work bench near you, and on a table in the center of the room is a dead body covered in a black sheet. You see that your boss, Dr. Nebel, is down here. He's a spray, little old man. He's around four feet tall. He's got pointy ears, a short white beard, white hair on the side, but bald on top. He's got big dark green eyes that are very kind and he's constantly surrounded by sprites.

You see a few little green sprites are flying around him right now. And usually, Dr. Nebel is a great mentor, but lately has been a little distracted. If you days ago he received a message that a friend of his was in need of some help, and he made immediate plans for travel, he leaves today,

and as you wait to begin the autopsy, he's just kind of standing against the wall. He's flipping through a large tome, kind of completely wrapped up in it. And he just motions for you to begin. Yes, go on, Zurich. You're gonna have to do this on your own someday anyway, so why don't you go ahead and get started without me? My first solo autopsy, are you sure? It's the dream of every young surgeon to cut open a dead body by themselves. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D go ahead and get started without me. My first solo autopsy, are you sure? It's the dream of every young surgeon

to cut open a dead body by themselves. Indeed it is. Okay, do you want to put a blindfold on? So that like I'm doing this totally solo, or should I trust you? I trust you. Yes, I'm reading, so I'm probably not going to do that, but yes, go ahead, Zirk.

No peaks, no peaks. Zirk, you take the sheet off of this body and you see that the victim here has long blonde hair, tall, kind of like a dexterous build. They have a wrist guard on their left wrist and you know that they were a hunter, that they were a hunter that was found in the woods this morning.

And called well, do you wanna go ahead and describe what Zirk looks like as he performs this autopsy? Sure. So Zirk has pointy ears that kind of droop slightly. He has a premature white hair that is long and stringy and is stained with various solvents. It's clear that Zirk, normally he keeps it up in a ponytail, but when he's distracted, he lets the strands

droop down and they often kind of dip into whatever concoction he's working on. So there's various stains of different colors, kind of at the edge of his hairline, at the edge of his hair. That's a look though, that's a new trend. Yeah, you see Neville without looking up from his book, just goes to Zirk, hair.

Oh, right, yes sir. I tie it back into a ponytail right before I can touch the body. And of course, I guess the zirke's most prominent feature is to extremely tired looking eyes that he hides behind some small tinted spectacles. And he's chewing on this small glass stirring rod, something that you would normally use for chemistry to kind of mix potions or what not together. He's chewing on it, probably should not be chewing on it,

clearly has not washed it. This is Zerk's arcane focus that he uses for casting alchemical spells and whatnot. Nebel, without looking up, goes, is there a comeouth? Yes, sir. Oh, there it is. Zerk takes it out of his mouth and puts it behind his ear. Haha. Haha. Zerke thinks for a moment and then remembers to put on his gloves. Wow. The auto autopsy is going well so far.

Okay. Oh, and the last thing I'll mention about Zerke is that he kind of smells like a mixture of burning leaves and plastic. So it's kind of like, accurate, but not entirely unpleasant. Pungent, I would say. It sounds like smells. Yeah.

Burning plastic. The leafs part sounds good. Yeah, the leafs part sounds good. Leed with the leaves. It's like a weird cologne. And Zirk, as you examine the spot, you go ahead and give me a medicine check. 14, the first thing that jumps out at you,

which you would have even gotten with a one, maybe not a one, but a two would have done it. With a one, I wouldn't have lifted the sheet up. Yes, you would have just been examining the sheet. But even with a two, you would have noticed this. This person has been cut in half. Oh, you see there's straight up in twain, a wound at their midsection that goes all the way through.

And with a 14, you notice a very strange thing about this, which is that it's far too neat. The wound has been instantly cauterized. There's no guts hanging out, no anything. Far too neat for someone to have been cut in half. That means that whatever did this was either Incredibly hot or it was magical. Dr. Neville, I don't need your help.

I'm doing great. But if you wanted to come take a look at this Out of sheer medical curiosity, I would love a second opinion on what is going on here. You see Dr. Nebel closes this big tone that he was reading. Ah, yes, what's trouble from the woods? Do we have, oh no!

Oh, yeah, wow, yes. That's not normal, right? That's not normal. You see, we can agree, okay. Yeah, you see, the look on his face is troubled. And you guys see a lot of grim stuff. Like you have, there are zombies that don't like pop out of the graveyard and eat people

or like crazy, you know, monsters that are the size of bears that will claw people. But yeah, you see, you see Neville looks at it and he goes, this is strange indeed. It's too precise to be a horror, but too powerful to be a normal person. If I didn't know better, I would think this was done by one of the horror hunters, the blades, but they wouldn't do something like this

and they're not really around anymore. Do you think it could have been a bear with really hot claws? That's a great question. Right, just, you go ahead and write that down for cause of death, I think. Hot claws. Could you just call it that? Zerk claws?

Zerk, as you say that, you see the sprites that were around Nebel begin to float around you. And he goes, eh, suppose it's possible, there's new horrors every day! There's new nightmares every day! Exciting times, sir. Indeed. But unfortunately, Zerk, I will not be around

to see this mystery out, but we can get a message sent to the inspector and she can do with the information what she will, hopefully. Of course Hopefully this was just a one off thing. Hopefully it was just a bear with some really hot claws. But before I leave, I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you. Anything, sir. You've been so kind to me here.

I do whatever you ask. You see, Dr. Nebel leads you upstairs. And as you pass through the main kind of entrance in like the waiting room, you see that there's a burly coachman carrying Nebel's trunk out to a wagon waiting outside. It looks like he's leaving in just like an hour or so. And Nebel takes you into his office

and closes the door behind him. It's the time for the annual retreat already, sir. Yeah. No, this is not the convention. The coroner's convention. It is not a coroner. It is not a coroner. It's not a coroner out of there. No, this is not the convention. The coroner's convention. It is not coroner. It is not coroner. Get out of there. God, so pissed. I can't go. Yeah, you waste.

You have to be a coroner to go, but every year I fucking just like I try to get in. They don't accept amateur coroners, which is fucked up. We've seen some really fucked up stuff this year, sir. We have some great idea for costumes next year. I promise to take you to coroner con. But anyway. We haven't liked to go. You see, Nebel gets kind of quiet and he goes,

so listen, Zirk, I know I've been vague about my travel plans, but I'm afraid for your own good that I will not be able to let you in on all the details. Suffice it to say, I have a matter that requires my attention immediately and I need to be discreet. And getting out of town quietly at a trade port has proven difficult and I needed to get my hands a little dirty and work with a few

unsavory individuals. You see he pulls back the curtains on the window of his office and he justures out the window and you see just ahead of the wagon that is holding Dr. Nebel's stuff for when he travels. You see just ahead of it under the glow of the Sprite lamps to individuals. They're both on their own horses ahead of it under the glow of the sprite lamps two individuals They're both on their own horses ahead of the wagon not on the horses that are pulling the wagon that would be silly

So one is a big burly bear of a man with long stringy hair and an equally long stringy beard With a huge war hammer at a side and you see the other is a person that radiates calm confidence. They've got slicked back black hair with a single strand falling forward, pointy ears and a stick and poke tattoo of a rook like the bird on their neck. And you see they absentmindedly spin a dagger in one hand and you see another on their belt. And you instantly recognize by the way they're dressed, they're wearing like black cloaks. These are members of a local gang called the Rooks.

And many of them are ex-pirates or sailors. We got their start by smuggling goods in town. So they are quite powerful. They have survived when a lot of other gangs have been stamped out Because they're careful. They have a lot of blood on their hands, but they always wash their hands Dr. Nebel goes now I was under the impression that I would just pay them for a little Off the book's boat trip that they would bribe somebody or something. But it turns out my compatriots plan on knocking out the clerk and the guard at the docks

while I get on the barge with the sailor. I don't entirely trust them to not make those people disappear because they are bad. So I was wondering if you wouldn't follow. I can see them just sharpening their blades right now. They're stabbing the air. I can see them doing it. You look outside and you see the smaller rook

has just too many things going on, has just a dagger in one hand and furiously stabbing at the air while just also tossing an apple with the other hand and swinging a short sword through it just looks incredibly dangerous and menacing. I catching I'll say that. Yeah, and Neville goes, so we're about to be leaving. But would you be okay with just following at a safe distance and just making sure that that whoever gets knocked out gets the medical attention that they need that they don't do anything bad.

You can go get the town watch if something goes wrong. So you just want me to make sure that they're safe. That's what I've been trying to learn from you, sir. It'll be a perfect opportunity to test my healing capabilities. Thank you, sir. You see, Neville puts his hand on your shoulder. Now, let's go commit a minor crime, but just a minor one. Let's not do any big ones.

I see nothing wrong with a quick night boat trip. You see some of the sprites circle around you. When the sprites circle around me, I get really excited and I kind of wiggle my ears a little bit to see if they'll perch. They're like cats, and as soon as they see that you want it too bad, they fly back to Neville. Damn it.

After a bit, you see that the wagon is full. Dr. Neville gets on and takes off at the coachman and you follow quietly at a safe distance. And with that, we will cut over to our friend Henry Hogfish. Henry, you are on your way out to work. You're on your way to the loading dock. It's early night, and just as many of the other townsfolk are finishing their days, Henry is just starting his, still has a long night ahead of him. Henry, you travel through the market square. During the day, it's filled with carriages and tents with vendors, but the tents are down, and

the carriages are all locked up. People fill the cobblestone streets here. Some of them are already drunk. You see a rowdy crowd pouring out of a tavern called the Copper Dagger. They are dressed a little too fancy for the local dive though. Henry, go ahead and give me an insight check. Okay. Shout out to the two crew. Shout out to the two crew. What? though Henry go ahead and give me an insight check. Okay.

Shout out to the two crew. Shout out to the two crew. Wow. There it is. That's Henry. Henry, you're looking around and you're confused. There's a bunch of people in like tail coats, a lot of people in dresses with like flowers all over them or something. It looks like there's some kind of event at the copper dagger And it's very strange because normally this is just sort of a normal tavern. I'm curious can I peek in the window? Do a little like investigate. You're wondering if it's coroner con It's this corner con there are a lot of copies

You know, there's gonna be some drunken horny coroner I know a more dish and I think they have a plus one. And he's trying to get embalmed. Henry, you look in the window and you see that it looks like a wedding party. They sing songs together while a bar plays the fiddle. You can see in through the glass that they've cleared some tables so there's more room for dancing.

You see a young man in a tail coat with dark brown hair just like you used to have. Spinning a young woman in a dress covered in flowers, they pull each other in close and kiss as everyone around them cheers. Getting married at CornerCon. What an honor. Henry, what do you see in your reflection?

Yeah, as as my eyes adjust and I catch just Henry in the in the reflection I see You know hunch shoulders hands in the pocket Henry is a medium height medium build medium man as I've said he's five foot nine Nine and a half size foot He's got kind of build, medium man, as I've said. He's five foot nine, nine and a half size foot. He's got kind of like a salt and pepper, five o'clock shadow. It's hiding what might have been a boyishly handsome face back when he had some happiness, some youth to him. It's got like a shock of black hair.

He's graying on the sides. Maybe he's not very distinguishable, but maybe one thing that that you might notice is that he has large expressive eyebrows. But he doesn't often meet your eye. Henry, as you're looking in the glass and seeing this happy scene, catching your own reflection, you suddenly feel like someone is behind you, hovering right over your neck. You can feel cold breath there, and when you look in your reflection, you see an old man with sunken in eyes right behind you.

Oh, Jesus. You turn around and see that it is just your shadow. Okay. You're losing it, Henry. You're fucking losing it now. Henry, you continue on towards the docks under the glow of the Sprite Lamps. The lamps become few and far between as you near the river at the east loading dock. This is beyond the main shipyard on the edge of the town. This is a smaller dock for smaller vessels to pull in and load up or unload while the main docks are reserved

for bigger deals. Because it's so remote, you are usually assigned a guard when you work the night shift and you see as you approach lit by a torch on the side of a small boat house is a single scrawny guard in crisp brand new leather armor with the rose sigilonet. Hello sir, my name's Willie and I'll be keeping you safe tonight. Oh fucking course. You see Willie looks like Willie Ways 95 pounds. Thanks for the protection, Willie. I give him a half-hearted salute and I pass him a flask.

Oh, we really shouldn't be drinking on the job, sir. More for me. Henry, take a swig. You go over to your desk here. You see that there's a lantern next to it that is already lit with the little sprites going around and you check the logs for the night. There is a brewer that is transporting a few casks of ale, some specialty clothing items coming in for some rich person off some small merchant ship, but those aren't supposed to come for a few hours. But suddenly you hear the sounds of oars in the water and you see a boat approaching, kind of off schedule.

Sir, what are we expecting here? There's nothing here on the schedule, but it's probably nothing. Let's just wait and see. You see a single burly sailor covering tattoos. It gives a keel boat, one last row, and guides it into the boat house as he pulls in the ores and hops out to tie it up. Hey, hey buddy, you, uh, you picking up or dropping off, coming to going. Yeah, we're just, uh just dropping off a quick nap. Drop, sorry, you said that thing real fast.

Drop out a quick nap. You're having a quick nap? No, no, no, no, no, no. You're having a quick nap. Suddenly, you see a huge figure in a black cloak holds a rag over Willie's face. You see Willie goes out instantly, never had a chance.

And at the exact same time, you see a black cloak wrap around you as someone smaller jumps up on your back, gets you in like a rear naked choke and throws a rag over your face, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Oh fuck. Shout out to the three crew. over your face, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Oh fuck.

Shout out to the three crew. There we go. Henry, you start to get tunnel vision. Up, up, up. And you go out as you collapse here on the dock. Quick nap, just a quick nap. Zirk, you have just witnessed this. You are hiding around a corner in view of the East Doc. Yep.

You watch the wagon with the doctor in it pulls up with the coachman. You saw that the two rooks had ridden the head and you see as this burly coachman begins helping Dr. Neville quickly take all of his stuff and start loading it onto this boat. You see the two rooks dragging to unconscious people out of the boat house and into bushes nearby. And you see Dr. Neville lifts up the hood of his traveling cloak, gives you a little nod and like waves you could buy. I give him a fluttering bird gesture from where I'm hiding. Great. He looks confused, but then laughs,

and gives you a thumbs up. You see he gets on the boats, takes off, and begins very quietly going down the river. And, Zirk, you have seen these two rooks go behind some bushes with the clerk and the guard and you have not seen anybody come out yet what do you do? I think I will take a casual stroll like a normal citizen of Thorn Kirk. Okay. Towards the bushes. I'll go on my nightly bush look. Great. I'm a bit of a bush looker. It's a hobby of Thorn Kirkians, and I find I can't resist. A stroll by.

Lovely roses on these here. Bushes. You see, as you see that, there's just so much startled movement instantly in the bushes. You see the big dude comes out burying his hammer and you see the smaller person rolls out and super dexterously pulls out a short sword and holds it to your neck and goes,

now what are you doing so far out here at night? Oh, hey, hey, it's cool, it's cool. I'm with the doctor. I'm taking care of the guys in the bushes You're gonna kill the guys in the bushes. What? No, were you gonna kill them? You see the the answer at the same time the big guy goes yeah, and the other one goes no Alright, so clearly you two need to get on the same page about what's happening tonight. I was just going to heal him up and make sure they're fine and then take him out of here. You don't have to worry about it.

Like, what were you paid to do? Geez. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Zerke has zero charisma. Okay, that's a 14. 14. 14. You see the big one starts to walk towards you, um, and kind of puts his face into your face, and then looks back at the smaller one and goes, he saw us. We got to take care of him.

I see people all the time. You see people committing crimes? I mean, honestly, yeah, I saw like three robberies the other day. It's a bad town, dude. The smaller, cooler one just goes, that's a really good point. There is a lot of crime. Yeah, and like there's a lot of systematic roots to the crimes, but I don't think we're gonna get into that tonight. You see the smaller one gets in between you and the bigger one and goes, all right, all right, look. There's no reason for us to get our hands dirty here. My name's Sib.

There's no reason for us to get our hands dirty here. My name's Sib. Big guy here is Fergus Why don't you go ahead and give me your name and that way we can check up on you and just make sure you're keeping this between us friends, huh? My name is Zonk Zonk for Beena Glad to give you a deception check fuck Shit, that's a seven Go ahead and give me a deception check. Fuck! Shit. That's a seven. You see, they just turned back to Fergus to go,

Fergus, knock about. Go ahead and give me a call initiative. Oh no. 20, not that. A 20. Zirk, you see that Fergus charges forward at you. You also see that as soon as combat starts, Sib gets that of the way.

Let me go ahead and make a stealth check. Whew, hides as a bonus action. Just disappears on the wind. That is your turn. I am going to, as a bonus action, cast expeditiousreat on myself. Just to prepare myself. Yeah, I'll pull out my pipe mace, which is this like very ornate brass pipe.

Looks like Gandalf's pipe except steampunk. Great. And I twirl it in my hands and I just kind of swing right at a furg. Great. twirl it in my hands and I just kind of swing right at Ferg. Great, as you go to swing at Fergis, you see Sib comes out of hiding and pushes you so you trip forward a little bit. Oops, sorry about that. So roll that attack with disadvantage. Did they actually roll before?

Yeah, they're fast as hell. They had like highest initial. They went at initiative 23. Shout out to the two crew. I mean, you swing this little mace as this giant hammer comes down on you. Ferg is gonna take a couple cracks. I start to say put this in your pipe and smoke. Oh! Oops.

You did that on purpose. Don't say oops. This is such a bad situation 11 damage on the first hit swings back around to swing your jaw and this dude looks like he wants to kill you Sip is like whoa whoa chill out. It's a knock about it's a knock about second one 14 to hit that best is miss is okay third one Third is a 24 to hit. Then absolutely it's okay. It's almost like the mafia of this town hires really strong henchmen. Oh, that is weird. That is 10 damage. Weird.

Zerks down. I feel I'd be doubted. So you get cracked in the back of the head. C.C.V.I.B.B.D. is just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh So you get cracked in the back of the head see Sid the beat is like And then the last thing you see is the hammer coming back up and cracking you on the chin And Zirk You get smashed you are knocked out Good night everybody. And... What a night! You and Bookvar follow the tracks and they stop as they get into town.

It looks like this being God off their horse or did a better job covering it up at this point. But go ahead and give me a perception check as you cross the bridge on the east side of town. I'm going to ask you this all the time. Can it be investigated? Yes, it can be investigated and bookmark can give you advantage. Ah, bookmark will help me. 13.

13. Okay, you hear a boat going away, but you see half in the darkness, half under the light of the Sprite lamp. You see a hog tied man thrown into a bush. And then these two people kind of dust their hands off. You see these two figures, this is a smaller one, the bigger one, you see the smaller one,

it's kind of berating the bigger one and they're getting into a little bit of a fight and you see they walk off. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

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Okay, but I love it. I love in kick Yeah, you open the bushes and you find three hog tied people Um see to that are I am starting to feel under rest But should I be hog tied? Oh, this seems bad. There's a kidnapping plot. This is terrible. Bookfars are freaking out. Bookfars, don't jump. Don't jump to conclusions. We do not, people like to get tied up for many different things.

That's true. I didn't mean to kink shame. I'm sorry, miss. It's always a problem with you. You see two of them. The man in his mid-30s with kind of dishevels hair, looks to be sleeping. The young boy, Knight, also seems to be sleeping and the like studious looking dude with the pointy ears, absolutely got his ass kicked. Like broken nose, bruises under his eyes like pockets turned inside out and you see on a hastily Scrawled notes on his back

You pick it up and you read it. It says we know where you work. Dr. Boy you owe me dash Sib SYB Dr. Boy have I ever met Sib? I don't go into town much, but have I ever met Sib? Go ahead and give me a history check. 14. You can, you might not know Sib personally, but you know that they're probably from the Rooks. You are familiar with this kind of crime family. Okay, and I have good or bad associations with the crime family. You'd probably, it probably probably be neither here nor there. Sort of the situation between the rooks and the city watch,

is that they're about equal power. They have about the same amount of fighting power. The rooks, for the most part, just want to make money. So they don't want to have the, you know, nights of the town break into their gambling hall and start huge fights. The city watch doesn't want to lose all their men in a fucking civil war in the streets. So it's like this tolerated thing as long as it's not out in the open. Okay, but this is the work of human foes and therefore not horrors. So I think that I mostly have done my healing on wear folk. So I say a

small prayer to myself. So I rub my hands together and then give him a brightly slap across the face for my healing. How much are you healing him for? Seven Seven a zirke you pop back up you see this person in Hunter regalia standing over you is just slapped you with a healing touch You're a little better, but you're still you're still very fucked up and all of your money has been taken just take I don't have anything left. What? No, this note was left for you on your body What happens is this a good thing that you are all tied up and sleeping together or should I be concerned? Well, I mean I can't speak for those two, but I was not into it. Oh, so this was not coordinated. It's coincidence that you are all Hunk tied. Yeah, fully coincidence. I mean, there are some overlaps. I guess I was supposed to be

healing them, but I ended up in need of healing. So that's a bit of a quinky thing. Quinky, dink, and dink. That is fun. I mean, you know what, that's the way of the Reaper, right? You know, you think you're gonna heal, but it turns out you're the one that needs healing. Well, you know, maybe it's not the way of the Reaper. But anyway, thank you so, so much for getting me back on my feet. I'd offer you something to drink, but again, I was severely robbed. No, no, he's okay. Hello, my name is Fia. Oh, this is my book, name book for. Hi, hi.

Hi there. Wake up the other guys. They seem like they're just sleeping here. Absolutely. I do one slap, one cold-handed slap across both of them and one stroke. Wake up, up time! Willie wakes up. Ah! Did we fail? Hey, Willie, thanks for the protection there, but...

We're gonna get in trouble. Would you like to be on tide or would you prefer to do it yourself? Yes, we don't want to kink shame. I did that before, I'm sorry. Yes, that's true. Bookmark, even good apology. Appreciate that everybody, but this is not my thing. I very much like to be untied. Really? You look so at home.

That is one of the first compliments I've ever received. Nonetheless, I would still like to be free from that. You're not exactly smiling, but you do look intense. Henry, you have no, you, all you saw was you saw you and will you get knocked out You have no idea the fuck sir is just this bruised better dude also tied up next to you and a flying book Next to this and we're sort of debating if I like being tied up or not Come here, I am tired. Yeah, thank you You all are untied I untie you. Thank you.

You all are untied. You come up. I have to ask you, this is the work of horrors or you are the work of humans, because both have their evil I found. Yeah, no, this was the rucks. This was humans all the way. You see where it goes.

And we've got to report them. Hey, you know, let's, we're not supposed to ask questions. I feel like you know what maybe oopsy daisy on all sides We just forget this everyone's healed up. See you go also fun. Coinky dink. Oopsy daisy. Um sir. Yes, sir Henry Did you forget that there's a Scout tower not far from here. They probably would have seen a boat coming in or out. Okay, well, you know, we did what we're supposed to do. We asked questions. We got our ass kicked.

Let's, but if we don't report it, then they're gonna know that we didn't do it. And then we're gonna get through it in the jail. Willie, let me show you how we do it. We report it, but we don't know nothing. All we know is we got our ass kicked. Okay, we got knocked out. Okay, we didn't see nobody. We didn't know nothing. All we know is we got our asses kicked. Okay. We got knocked out. Okay.

We didn't see nobody. We didn't hear anyone. You are going to formally report that you got your ass kicked. Hey, I can't say any lower. You see, you see Bookfarer is flapping book? You're really coming with the heavy comments. I overshare, I guess.

Bookfarer faces Henry. I really relate to you. I don't know you very well, but I'm book bar. Hey, I'm Henry Henry hogfish You don't I lean into Henry you don't want to relate to book for his account One time I was kidnapped by a bunch of sprites and they threw me down a well. Oh, yeah, you're pages look pretty soggy there I was thrown down a well figuratively, so yeah, if you can hear it, you wanna swig of this? I passed on my flask. Oh, yes, good.

Oh, oh. Oh, Henry, your booze has been stolen from you. Oh, I pat my pockets all over the place. Well, isn't that just perfect? I am not a detective, but I can probably put together that you have your drink taken, you have your drink taken. These are booze thieves, huh? Amongst other things, but yeah, primarily booze thieves, you would see.

Oh my, you see, Willie sits up. Oh my goodness, sir, Claire Canary, booed leggers, we need to get to the tower now. Okay, let's go to the DC. see runs off and starts running towards the tower No, let's will I just want you to know I'm not your superior no need to call me sir Okay, all right. We got it either we we got to stop him or we got to beat him there You guys want to come you want to help me just just put a pause in this kid sure? You sound like a very sad man. I came here to find a horror and everything you said has been horrifying.

Honestly, yeah. Perhaps you are it. Tell you what, if you can make one thing go my way tonight, I will be your friend forever. Stop that guy. Okay, wow, a friend. And Mr. Hotfish, if I could get in writing that I healed you and took care of you

and that no ill be fell you That would be super fantastic. I just need that for my supervisor sure I just I do think we woke up at the same time. So are you sure that you I mean you're already doing one lie tonight I figured the two would be fine for you. Give me the paper. I'll sign it. I don't I will go ahead cast guidance on myself and book it towards this little Von who he's run. Okay. I used to see his- He's kind of clumping along. He's in like heavy chain mail. You guys are older and a little bit faster.

You guys quickly catch up to him and he goes, oh good, we'll all go together. We need to get to the tower. Okay. You want- we will go report it, but just remember, we'll all go together, we need to get to the tower. Okay, you want it, we will go report it, but just remember, we don't remember nothing, okay? Okay, you guys all make your way to the watch tower, the stone tower that looks out over the river and has a pretty clear view of the East Docks, and you see out in front of it, in front of the doorway, under a sprite lamp is a

single city watch guard standing up against the stone. Sir, I give a salute. As you approach and say, sir, the person does not react. Okay, just came to report suspicious. Boat came in and we asked him some questions. They turned around. Just, can you hear me?

Go ahead and give me a perception check, Henry. How do they did? Excuse me, that is an 18. Henry, as you approach, you see that there is a little bit of blood on the side of this person's lips and you see that they are propped up against the stones stabbed through with their own sword. Alright look alive Willie. Oh don't jump! You see Willie sprints away leaves. It's for the best. He was a rat. Absolutely. Willie on the way out. Be safe. Okay. This is serious. Can I look at him in Duna

Arcanachek to see if this is the same arcane energy I saw on the sprites? Yeah. 16. As you look up at the sprite lamp, it was maybe a little more dull than it would normally be. And you see it is because the sprites in there are dead and are glowing a darker red as they fade. It looks like a light bulb going out. My sprite graveyard grows more crowded by the day. I scoop up the sprites because I must give them a proper burial. Okay, this is the work of a horror. This I know to be sure. Yeah, bookfar goes, yes, we saw a strange person on a horse. They had some kind of stick and they make sprites die and it's bad.

Did they have a magical blade of any sort with them? We did not see that, did we? We didn't see a blade but we didn't get a great look. We just saw a silhouette. Okay. Scary one, a very scary silhouette. Oh sure, yeah. Got a mean figure. Okay, first things yeah. Gotta mean figure. I'm okay. Okay, first things first.

This is going to sound dark. I know we just met. Please don't judge me for this. I think we should leave this body pro. Otherwise, someone will know that we were here. Is the body dead? Oh yeah. Okay, cool.

Yes, it has the coldness of death. Okay, can I do a perception check and see if I can, if whatever did this is like nearby, how long, maybe I can try to deduce how long ago this happened? Yeah. And I will do a check to try to find more tracks. Great, that's only an, that's an eight for perception. Ooh, that is an 18.

Fiya, you do see tracks of boots? They look like, like hunters boots. Can I measure the size of my foot against it? A heavy size 10 foot. You have a size 10 foot. They're a little bit bigger than yours. And a two size bigger than Henry's. And Henry, you with that perception check,

you don't hear anything, and that's very strange in like a watch tower You know a that there are Ravens there are birds in there being kept that you do not hear anything You know that there's like a bird keeper up there that like gets the messages You know that there's usually like a guard or two down here there should be like four or five people around here and silent There should be like four or five people around here and silent Can I run up to the top of the watch tower and see if I can get a better view of where these footprints went? Yeah, as you go in You immediately see another body

half ripped like a chunk was cut out of them Half ripped, like a chunk was cut out of them. As they're like reaching forward, they're like diving forward, trying to run down the stairs. It's another member of the town watch. And go ahead and give me an insight check. 14, 14.

You see that this wound is also caught orized. Oh gosh, I was hoping it was bears, but it's not bears gang. Zirk is climbing the tower. What do the rest of you guys want to do? I feel follow, yes, I was hoping it was bears, but it's not bears gang. Zirk is climbing the tower. What do the rest of you guys want to do? I will follow, yes, I will follow. Yeah, I'll follow too. You guys go up this tower, you reach the top,

and you find yourself in a small circular room with a ceiling and some cover, but big open windows where you can look out onto the river. A nice view in another situation. cover, but big open windows where you can look out onto the river. A nice view in another situation. You also see cages or presumably messenger ravens or pigeons would be kept. Instead, you see a bunch of dead ravens and a dead birdkeeper. This is real. This is real. This is real bad. That's all I'm going to say.

I don't come into town very much, is this normal? This is quite abnormal. I've been, yeah. Okay. I can't keep checking. I've been hog tied before. Again, not my thing, not my choice. I've woken up.

Okay, but yeah. Mostly robbery, arson, you know, like minor harassment are pretty common, but like this is a lot of death. You don't wake up to everyone dead. Everybody go ahead and give me a perception or investigate checks. It's another 14. 18.

12. Again. Everybody sees this body. You see that there's somebody looks like they're a messenger or maybe like the birdkeeper or something. Does not have armor on, kind of rolled up in the corner. Looks like they were trying to hide from something

Oh, if you hide you should not get hurt and they have a Note near them With a broken seal. Okay. I take the note. I read it. I'm an other reader. Okay, so Fiya, I am sending you what the note says Your new friends look at you as you pull out this new note and read aloud. I look very smug like I am showing off by reading this. Ah, it's a note but don't worry, I will read it. Yes, you read all the time, why would that be weird?

I mean, book for I'm making new friends, but the friendship is showing off to earn the friendship. I'm a book. I'm like reading as a thing, huh? I know. When you read, it's weird. Okay. The note says, Nebel, do not get on the boat. We have been compromised. There's suddenly an explosion of fire below in the river as you see the barge, a light,

and screams fill the air. God damn it. There are several monoculars and telescopes up here. I rush over. Doctor, doctor! I'm gonna get blamed for that. I'll look at one too. Ah well all the telescopes are taken so you know I'll just read a book and a corner. We can split, it's a monocular but I'll just read a book in the corner. We can split. It's a monocular, but I think that if you squeeze your pupil next to mine, I think we can share. Not fine. I've been working through this self-help book from a really self-indulgent wizard, so I'll do that. You guys look down, and you see in the light of the fire, a figure swinging a sithe, cutting a sailor then cutting through another one and you see swarmed by scared blue sprites is Dr. Nebel who rushes to the end of the boat

quickly up goes through his pack and tosses something from it into the water. You see the sprites drop dead as the figure comes up from behind him and slashes through him in one quick deadly swing. And as Nebel falls over, the figure looks up and you see in the light of the fire, the rotting face of a man. He's clad in all black with a slouch hat, white hair and stubble. He wears a blindfold over his eyes, but seems to be able to sense his enemy's presence. You see he deactivates the sickle, the arcane blade fades, and it just turns into a staff.

Fia, you see he once again pulls out a bell and begins ringing it, and even though he is far away, it reverberates through the night. Ding, ding, ding. Suddenly, the birds on the floor of the tower begin to flop to life, and the bird keeper rises with a frightening moan as a zombie, everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Okay. 12 forfea. And I just rolled a natural one. Congratulations.

That you do not get to rerollate. What is your deck, sirk? My deck is plus three, so it's still, it's a four. So we're doing great. I rolled a 19, and that's a 21 for Henry. Henry, you are first. You see in this room a shambling zombie coming towards you. You also see the swarm of undead ravens getting ready to peck. What would you like to do?

You know Henry doesn't have anything against birds, so I think I'm gonna I'm gonna attack the zombie sweet and Henry weird wheels a hellbird correct. That's right I have so I have kind of like a cloak on and underneath that I have what I'm imagining is like, almost like a retractable halberd. Okay. So, because they're really long. Yeah, it's like one of those things

he used to clean gutters. And I'm gonna try to smash this zombie. Sweet. Ooh, thank God I didn't roll a one after I described Henry's weapon for so long That is a 30 20 to hit that hits you guys see this dude who has so far only said Extremely negative things about himself does appear to know how to use this spear Pulse out this weapon

Extends it fully. It's got like a little handle in the middle and then extends fully out spins it around and expertly swings at the zombie. It's 15 damage. 15 damage. Day more than 11 on the D12. I think you're on better sold yourself, Mr. I trust me. I really suck that was the one the one cool thing I did today. Yeah, I barely noticed the two when you swung Henry, you thrust your spear forward. It goes through the birdkeeper's head, and the head explodes off, but you see the body stays up, and it's still going. The swarm of ravens are going to go ahead and go after,

let's say, Fiya. She was back a little bit. Gah! Fia, you are surrounded by these Ravens who attempt to peck at you. You see, Bookfar starts kind of swinging at them, flapping at them with his books. Get away!

Get away, nasty little birds! Get away! Get away! Very brave. I told you I make a warrior. And they miss. Ah! That is the zombies turn

This first zombie is going to go ahead and take a punch at Henry Okay, okay, we're going fist the cups then that's a six hit. Yeah, I've put up like old old timey Irish boxer underhanded Old timey Irish boxer underhanded. Shies to swing at you, misses. Another one that was already halfway up the stairs is going to shamble in and take a crack at Zirk. Oh, this is gonna make a lot of work for us in the coroner's office. That's a 22 to hit Zirk.

That hit. Oh God. Also doing the old timey boxing pose. Oh my god. I just rolled a six out of D6 seven damage Down again perfectly on the button Zerco is already been beaten up the glass is broken bruises on her thighs broken No, it's just gets popped and goes down. I'm used to corpses being dead. This is very new. The last zombie was at the bottom of the stairs. It's gonna need to use a full-dash action to

get all the way up. Fiya, that is up to you. Okay, so there are three zombies and some very rude ravens. They're very rude, miss. They're very rude. They're packing up but far. They're wasting their space. I am going to use our tools as zombies next to each other. Yeah, I'll say you guys were all at like up by like the telescopes and stuff. So yeah, everybody's kind of packed in pretty close to each other. Okay. So I will make an attack on the zombie that Henry already attacked. I'm going to do a green flame blade on the zombie so that it attacks the zombie and then does some fighter damage to the Ravens. Okay, extremely frowned upon in a boxing match for a third person to come in with a sword. I didn't know the rules. I didn't know the rules. Very rusty. That makes you feel better. There's normally tons of birds around though, so that's fine. Okay, it does a 14 hit. Yeah. 11 damage to the zombie. 11 damage. You see,

you cut into the zombie. It falls down, but it is going to use its undead fortitude to try to survive. So it's a DC-16 con saving girlfriend. I give you the very mean stare. With a matte one, but you see it goes down, starts to get back up, you give it a mean stare, and then it flops over. Big, scary, unblinking eyes. Withering. And then with green flame blade,

the Ravens will take four fire damage. Okay, nice. And then as a bonus action, I will healing ward once again my new friend Zerk. Great. I think that I cut into the air like a healing ward glist. Great. This time only six hit points. Zerk, keep up back up.

You've been knocked out twice today Not normal for your life at all. You're like a doctor's apprentice This is Beverly got knocked out a lot but Beverly was like a little paladin you are I work indoors keep your keep your fists in front of your face alright, buddy. I will not do that Henry has been knocked out so many times You just go up into a little ball Unfortunately, unfortunately you always wake up What do that? Henry has been knocked out so many times. You just go up into a little ball. And then they can't have you. Unfortunately, unfortunately you always wake up.

Thank you so much for healing me. I was worried I was gonna miss Coroner Khan. I would love an invite. I guess I would have still been able to go, but I would have been on display. And then you see on initiative nine, a dark spirit, a shadow, comes out of the wall and is going to make an attack on Henry. And he can't, okay.

It is going to try to drain your strength. Give me what little strength you have left. I, you know, I really don't have any despair, unfortunately. And then you are really wording me. That is only at 11 to hits. That misses. The shadow is going to use a bonus action to hide Hugo's style. So goes ahead and hides back in the wall.

You're right, there's really not much to pull from here. That almost hurt worse than you draining my strength. back in the wall. You're right, there's really not much to pull from here. That almost hurt worse than you draining my strength. Zirk, that is your turn. So I think I'm going to cast Fairy Fire. No. I think I pull out my little glass stirring rod and I tamp some magical herbs down into my pipe mace and I breathe in and then I just blow out down into my pipe mace.

And I breath in and then I just like blow out the smoke that covers the room. It is a 20 foot tube. So everyone within it has to make a dexterity save or they are covered in white. And then I believe they, everyone has advantage on attacks against them. Sweets.

Fia looks at her cigarar and Von Duters if she did this by accident. These zombies are knocked extras. First one gets a four. Ooh, yeah. Second one, shadow to the two crew. That's a big zero for that one. And then the shadow, the shadow got an 18.

Okay. But the two zombies you see are lit up. Normally, sprites are like afraid of these horrors, but you see now, they are glowing orange, and a bunch of them fly from Zurk and Fiya and begin swirling around the zombies and giving them like an orange glow. I look around panic and say, is that better?

I think so. They're glowing now. I don't know if that helps. So that's good. That's like pointing at them. It's good. My blade feels hungry when you do that. Okay.

I think it is good. Henry, that's back around to you. These ones on me that you were fighting is gone. There's two in here, then Ravens, and then the shadow that came out of nowhere. All right, so put your dukes up. Let's do this the old fashioned way. And then I'm gonna hit him with my halberd.

I'm gonna hit him with my halberd. I'm gonna hit him with my halberd. 16 super hits is on me. Yes. Oh, hell yeah, another 11. That's a 15 damage. Ooh, this one looks super hurt. Completely take off its shoulder.

You are doing so well, Henry. Yeah, wow. Thank you. This is one of two things I know how to do. Well you should be in bold in the Bible successes I feel good for you. You hear the shadow from the darkness I've seen what's inside and he really has nothing to pull from. Okay that's enough I can make fun of me you can't make fun of me come out you fucking coward. The Ravens are gonna go ahead and take a crack at Fia. By a crack, I mean, a little beak.

Beak me, I dare you. They try to beak you for 14 to hit. That misses! That misses! That misses, the Ravens miss. That misses, the misses. Misses, the misses. Two zombies left.

One will go for Fia. 16 to hits. That is my AC. Punches you with an old timey punch. Ugh. Just three damage. The super proper. Yeah, just three damage.

Yeah, just like really fancy footwork and it gets up under you and punches you in the gut. In the gut? Yeah. I spit up a little bit of cigar ash Please stop smoking this you shouldn't be swallowing the ash at all nasty habit And then the other zombie is going to go for Henry That's only a nine to hit Mrs. Bigtime just does too much footwork and Slips I'm saddened. Can ask, where are all you zombies training?

Because you've all seen to come from the same gym. We just watched Rocky 3 a lot! Okay, I am also imitating what I have seen. No formal training either. Um, that is via stern. The raven that close, I mean, the zombie that close with me, can I do a green flame blade and then the fire, we pour fire to the raven.

Yeah, you can set those birds on fire. That is a 19, thanks to my advantage. Super hits. Nine damage to the zombie that hit me. This zombie would go down. You see it falls over. You pull the expert boxer move, which is to pull out a sword and swing it at them

It's not even good. It's rusty the song because down, but the zombie is going to use it on dead fortitude It's got to be the nine. It's five plus a damaged taken. So it's a DC 14 check stare at it again lady Just like in Rocky 3 shout out to the two crew stays down I look at my blade and I say you feed and feed, when will you be sated? And then fire also jumps for more fire damage to the Ravens. The birds are concerned. And then I think I'm going to look at Zerke and say, are you feeling insecure? Do you want like a little more AC or should I just fucking go mad on these zombies?

Oh go nuts on those zombies for sure. Okay, then I'm going to attack the other zombie. So I do feel insecure though, if that ghost taunted me at all, I would crumple. 16 plus 5 is going to be a 21 to hit that. Yeah, nice. Oh, I should say that this is because I have my first level of cleric is war priest so I can three times do a bonus action second attack. Great. So I will heat him for 10 damage. You mess him right up.

Still trying to dodge, but you catch him with the sword. When do they have time to tape their arms? Yeah, their hands are taped. They're all in singlets, right? Yeah, they're wrestler boxers, I guess? Yeah, this one's a wrestler, so it's in a wrestling stance, getting ready to take you down. After Fiya, you see the shadow comes back out and goes,

all right, I believe in you this time. Let's see if you've got any strength in there. I'm telling you, I do not. He's going to try to train strength from Henry. Oh boy, that's a 10. Once again, does not get any strength from Henry. Wow, this is, I am starting to feel bad for you and I'm being a pure evil. Mm-hmm, yep. Welcome to the club, everyone feels bad for me,

including me. I know, yes. And for me, mostly. The self-talk needs to really move in a different direction. We'll be able to talk about this. Can I ask, you are summoned by the bell? I'm not telling you shit hides in the shadows

I try the nice way. Oh roll the mat one on just those are really bad job yells I'm not telling you shit You see just pretend to be the shadow of a chair nearby the shadow is fucking visible That is zirks turn cool. I think this time I'm going to cast That is Zerks turn. Cool. I think this time I am going to cast Expeditious Retreat on myself as a bonus action. Okay. And I think I'm going to dash to the foot of the stairs and kind of hide a little bit.

Okay. So once I am kind of firmly tucked away, I want to pull out my crossbow. I have a little light crossbow. I use my storing rod to douse one of the bolts with this like magic essence. And then I'm going to use my Firebolt Cantrip on the nearest zombie. Whoa, sweet. Nice. I stick my cigar out because it actually went out, but I stick my cigar out to hopefully get really lit.

My aim is not that great. Are you sure about this? Yes. OK. That's good to be. Ooh, that's a 21. Super hits. You guys see, Zirk, extremely quickly is able to get behind some barrels.

Whips out the light crossbow does a little bit of alchemical magic. Shoots the arrow. It becomes this ball of fire, lights, fiassegar, nearly hits bookvar who flops out of the way, and then nails this zombie. So where is Mr. Bookvar? It's okay, I like your style hiding behind things. He's good for him, he's good for him to get a little danger.

It's seven damage. Seven damage. This thing looks pretty messed up, but still up. Henry, that is your turn. All right, I've had enough of shadows giving me grief. Henry's gonna take off his jacket. He's surprisingly vascular. What?

Just vani arms. They're not very strong, but he's wearing like an old-timey white tank top, like an old boxer. And I'm gonna swing my halberd at the shadow. Great. She's never seen a gym in this town. That's a 30-20, I think. That is gonna hit eight damage. Eight damage, okay.

This thing is actually resistant to non-magical attacks. So you see, as you jam your halberd down, you see the blade hits where the shadow is, and you see it separates the shadow and kind of weakens it, but this is not a corporeal being. So you see it stays. You're gonna have to swing harder than that.

I don't have a lot of strength. I know, stop, stop doing this to yourself. I just wanna echo Fia's question, like, are you a part of strength. I know, stop, stop doing this to yourself. I just want to echo Fiya's question, like, are you a part of the bell thing or do you just live here? Yeah, I'm just kind of curious, we're just talking. Both the bell calls me. I like beaks. 14 misses. 14 misses. 14 misses. 14 misses.

14 misses. Last zombie, who we have decided is a wrestler. It's going to go for a single leg take down. And they get fine. It's going to actually, no, not the single leg take down. It's going to fank a single leg take down. And then try to get behind you for body to back, suplex.

Whoa. That is only a 10 to hit. You do the misses. Fia, you do the proper defense. You get like a wide stance to put your hands down over your waist to stop it. You get caught in the lace of one of my hunter's boots. Fia, that's your turn.

Now Fia would like to once again activate her blade into a green flame blade. And this time she will train it on the nasty little beaks of the Raven. Are the Ravens also wearing singlets? Yes, they are little wrestler Ravens. They are Raven the wrestler. There is a wrestler named Raven.

Wow, so much face paint on those beads. Does a 21 hit. Yes, yes, 21 hits birds. That is going to be 13 damage to the birds. Oh, the bird. The bird. You see, you take out a bunch of the birds. It is not a swarm anymore.

It's just a few now. A single, fat one. There's three fat ones. Ooh, okay. And then four fire damage goes to the zombie that was looking hurt. The zombie is on Deaths door. Oh, I was.

Double Deaths door. That's what I call it. Actually, you know what, fuck it. I guess I'll just fucking war priest and bonus action attack again. Yeah. War Priest is a really cool phrase that would really freak me out if I met one in real life. It sounds militant to be sure.

Okay, so that's going to hit. You doing this at the zombie? Yes, at the zombie. Okay. How much? So, six damage. Six damage. Zombie goes down, is going to try to stay up DC 11

Stair Stap pops back up one health oh Go to pin pin this wrestling zombie pops back up today. You heard your last bell Henry hits the floor twice and it kicks up That is the shadows zombies got a good coach. That is the shadows turn. The shadows are just going to go for a broken go for Henry again. Bring it on, come on. God, you are kicking the shadows ass. That's a fucking eight to hit. Misses, that's the Earth's turn.

So I'm out of spells. I'm hiding in the stairwell. I can't heal anybody. So I think I'm probably just going to try and fire another crossbow. Zombies. Sweet. Yeah. Net 20. Oh my god. probably just gonna try and fire another crossbowl. Zombie, yeah.

Net 20. Oh my god. Oh my god. Here's a fun thing. On a critical hit, the Zombie cannot revive. So you shoot it directly in its heart where it was reanimated and you see the thing just, ooh, and flops over. I say I whisper, see you at corner con.

And then I pull the trigger. And you have a great idea for a costume or wrestling zombie. That is back up to Henry. And I can still see the shadow, right? You can, oh fuck, the shadow forgot to hide, yeah, yeah. That's on me. I'll show you strength strength you freaky little shadow

Oh 19 hit hits only six damage, but then it's gonna be three you see Howard comes down splits the shadow a little bit looks a little weaker, but it's still hanging in there That is the Raven's turn they are weakened, but they's still hanging in there. That is the Raven's turn. They are weakened, but they can still attack. Okay, that time they're gonna hit you, Fiya. That's a 21 to hit. And they picket you for a big four damage. Oh my God, are you okay?

I mean, it definitely hurts emotionally to get picked by birds. Fiya, that's your turn. I just hope they're keeping up good coffee. I am going to, I am going to go for this shadow with a guiding bolt. Ooh, slinging all sorts of bolts today. 22.

To hit. Nice. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. That hits. What type of damage is this? Radiant. Ooh, it has vulnerability to it. It's an auto-credit.

Yes! Wow! That's what I thought and I rolled my dice already. Yeah 21. Jeez, I will. I will 6, 6, 4, 5. Shine a little light on that thing. Fiya, you've been so used to being like this hedge witch that is just off on her own, that you've kind of forgotten what it was like to have a mentor and have help and to like learn about these horrors and everything. But as you see all these, you've just been kind of using brute force, fighting these zombies and things. But as you see the shadow fighting Henry, you suddenly have this memory of reading Betilda the Blade Witch's book and your own bestiary, Volk, you actually made yourself and you would copy down

things from the Blade Witch's book about horrors to learn their weaknesses and everything. And you specifically remembered that this type of shadow, that this type of horror is weak to this type of shadow, that this type of horror is weak to this type of magic, you throw this radiant bolt using your knowledge as an apprentice blade witch and you dust this thing, it's gone. Yeah. I'm sorry, Henry.

Did you want to do this? No, by all means, you taking care of that shadow was very helpful. And now if you can do this for the birds for me. Oh yeah, you got it. Those birds can't lay a glove on me. Watch this. And it was bobbing and waving. Ah, Zirk, there's like two birds left. It's your turn. Okay, luckily I've got one stone. Ah, ah, ah.

Book far left, super loud. Ah, this guy's hilarious. I like him one stone. Ah ha ha. Book far laughs super loud. This guy's hilarious. I like him. Yes. Thank you Mr. Book far. Cool. I will go ahead and do another fire bolt at the crows. Great.

With Ravens. Ooh, that's a net one and an 18. So that's going to be 23. 23, go ahead and do your damage, but the swarm is very hurt. Dammit. That's just one point at damage. Oh my god You absolutely pierce one of these ravens I think I accidentally instead of picking a bolt From my quiver I accidentally take fiasa gar

You just shoot a cigar and you absolutely obliterate one of the ravens. I would love to hear you if you asked nicely. Oh, I'm sorry. A panic. It's okay, I have a humidor at home. Henry, that's you. Oh. Henry throws down his halberd and takes off his leather gloves.

And he fights these birds. You bet, you're getting really untressed. Like, fights these birds like a man. I'm going to swing. I'm going to do an unarmed strike fights these birds. You can get it really on the grass. Like, I fight these birds like a man, I'm gonna swing, I'm gonna do an unarmed strike at the birds. Okay, I do not proficiency just to your strength as a bonus. That's an 18. Yes! Wow!

You see Henry fucking clots of bird. Holy shit. It's like I'm training. How much, what is your strength bonus it is plus four okay you do exactly for damage Henry finish these birds What is the day about Yeah, Henry usually has his hands in his pockets, but when he does it they're pretty fast Yeah, surprisingly, like, Henry runs up, sort of kicks off the wall and just one, two punches

a couple of birds on his way down. Ha, ha, ha. Fiend shadow boxes to imitate this. That was incredible, but I did not like seeing it happen. Yeah, no, they probably had eggs back home. But I'm into the old-timey box, I think for Henry, this is really fun development for me. You guys are out of initiative.

You guys have just defeated all of these horrors. You are in this disgusting room full of dead horrors leaking this disgusting dark red goo. Well, I would like to pull out a homemade vial and collect some of this icer for study, great. Can I have a needle from the blight earlier? Could I perhaps use this this goo as a tattoo ink. Sure. A goo stick and folk inject yourself with some zombie goo. Do you want to test that first? It could be.

Yeah, I'm taking the future. Obviously, we are doing much more important stuff. Anyways, this was all very fucked up, right? Extremely. Never not feeling like this is fucked up. Who was the man on the boat? Oh my gosh, I almost forgot. That was Dr. Nebel, my master, my teacher.

We gotta go check on him. I mean, we can check on him, but he was cut in half, so. We gotta do what we can. We gotta get over there right now. Come on. I reassure Zirk by saying, Zirkuska, my book was cut in half earlier today. All I had to do is cast

mending on it I'm sure we can fix him I know that can trip but I don't know if it's gonna be strong enough but gosh we gotta try maybe my master was secretly made of books I don't know you guys run down the stairs of the tower rush towards the docks and run down river. You see that the barge is still burning, but the mysterious figure is gone. He's fucking. And so is the body of Dr. Aloysius Nebel. The body is gone.

Okay, but he, that guy, he taught something, he taught something in the water before Right I am trying to find yeah, you saw him toss something in the water go ahead and everybody give me I'll say flat investigation checks. Okay, I'm gonna tell you I got another fucking 17 Which investigation plus four so very good? 21 I got an 18, but I don't have a plus four so I think you beat it. That's a seven for me. I think Zirk is going to forego investigating and use his

alchemy jug to try and put out the flaming boat. Okay great. Yeah, you see. The fire is still going a bit but it looks to be like brought about by some kind of magic So it is like diminishing the wreckage has also like come up on Sure a little bit. It is not flowing down the river anymore Zirk as you go and

You use your magic to kind of put out the remaining flames you see that There are two sailors who were killed here. One of them was the one who had pulled up and talked to Henry. The other one is the one who was driving the coach. But you see Neville's body is not here and you see Neville's like pack. Some of his stuff is not here. You see that like his trunk is opened and like he was whoever this person was was looking for something Neville's body is not here, but Fia and Henry You both go in the water. It's very dark. It's impossible to see under the water you dive under and

Are trying to see things but when you open your eyes, it's just darkness But then when you poke your head up, you do see a single dull, glowing blue sprite. As it's last kind of act of helping Dr. Nebel is lying on this floating book. Nice. I scoop this sprite up into a little cup and I take the book to look at it. Do you read Sylvan? Yes, I do.

Fiya, you read on the cover words in Sylvan that say guardians of the grove and as you open it, you see that the book is soggy, but appears to be a very magical tome, and does not look to have been ruined, and as you look through it, this looks to be very similar to the book that your mentor had, that the Blade Witch had. It would appear that Dr. Nebel was either some type of blade himself or was involved in their order in some way and has been destroyed in much the same way that the witch disappeared. I am starting to get very worried for my witch. And that's where we'll end our session. Okay.

Okay. Next session, all reading. Let's do it. So much reading, except so. Get it round. I will read you more than just a note next time. Thank you everyone for listening. You can check out our short rest, our after show, over on patreon.com slash nadpod.

That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't say. We. We. We't say. Yeah. Oh, please. Please don't say. Yes. Does anybody have anything they would like to plug? Oh, I have some more PO box stuff.

I can plug. Let's do it. If you would like to send us stuff, you can do it at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Loose Philes, California at 90027. Thank you all so much to people of the Senate's things. People like Adam R. who sent us the rule book for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tabletop RPG from the 80s.

All right. Let's get a truly lady. Where are we talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at one point? Yeah, we were. Well, now that can be a reality because this is a very thorough rule book with lots of rules for how to play the turtles

or your own mutated animal creature. It also has an entire section detailing how much electronics cost in this world, case you wanted to buy a VHS. But is it, is the game from like 80s? It's the game from the 80s. It's like Eastman and Laird, original, Torhel, yeah. Yeah, it's the illustrations are crunchy. the game from the 80s. It's like Eastman and Laird are originally from Torhelia. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the illustrations are crunchy. Elizabeth K. and Andrew T. from Buffalo, New York sent us homemade candles. Yes. The flavors. Thank you so much. The flavors include, would you like a berry? Marthitogl sticky buns. Oh my gosh.

And home sweet stump. And also a walking day roasted oatmeal stout cannot wait to burn these bad boys. They smell delicious. Also Buffalo is far from from Albany, but it is upstate New York. So I, you know, upstate New York. Yeah, much a lot from the upstate. Sorry about, sorry about the bills. They came so close so many times.

This is their year. Don't worry. This is their year. Henry's definitely a bills fan. I love the bills. The tracks. You should have been there for floating. I food ball. I don't understand. Five Super Bowl. Katie and Ryan sent us a save the date for their wedding in Collegeville PA as well as some chicken wine themed face masks. They're very cute. It's one of the only masks that's big enough to fit my stupid long face. So I truly appreciate you sending those. Rebecca and Tyler sent us an announcement about their wedding on September

4th. Congrats you too. That has, hopefully. And then Scott wide sent us a nice note about the rules for a homebrew drinking game. They've implemented in their campaign. I feel like hungry Dave would absolutely dominated that. I hope that your players enjoy it. Oh, and David D, I mentioned this on our mixed bag sent us a gaville and a hammer which we used on our using and it's so cute watching called will miss you wheeled his little gaville. It's very fun. It's nice to finally have some power on responsibility around Yeah, you say that every time I respect you more when you hold the small gaville you say that at the dinner table with shoes right I mean I do hold the gaville Instead of using a knife and fork. I just smash my chicken with the gavoll. You say that at the dinner table with Seuss, right? I mean, I do hold the gavoll. Instead of using a knife and fork, I just smash my chicken with the gavoll. Yeah. Demanding what you watch on Netflix that night. So that's that's all we have from the PO box.

Thank you so much for sending stuff. I've got a lot more entries. We're loving it. It's so great. And I can't wait to shout them out next week. Sweet. Everybody, um, Jake, you got anything? Yeah, check out check out the shop. There's a bunch of new stuff in there. It's shop.nadpod.com and if you feel like spending money on stuff, you could also go to the Nadpod print shop where you can support artists who are uploading their awesome art. Yeah, and check it out. And also, we plugged it last week, but check out the Nadpod scene. You can also just Google that, find the NAD pod scene, made by a bunch of great talented people,

and donations go to a great cause. Final thing to plug is voting. Yes. For the love of God. Just get your voting plan on now, just like make your schedule when you can, and like, if you need, obviously polling lines get long, bring NAD pod with you, right?

You know, listen to it. Bring us to voting to vote. And if you do,? You know, listen to it. Bring us to your way to vote. And if you do, let us know if you do, because that's fucking awesome. Good Lord, we could vote with everybody. That'd be so fun. No. Very cool.

Thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on Twitter at CHMRI. I call these call dwell, at CHMRI. I call these call dwell, at CHMRI. And at EXFORD is Emily, I did it in a different order. And it feels weird and you can tweet about this show doing hashtags. I'm back on Twitter. I'm back on feels weird and you can tweet about the show doing hashtags. I'm back on Twitter. I'm back on Twitter. I had to see all the via art. I couldn't, I couldn't hold back.

It's a good reason. You can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD. We are We Are The Youth Elination. We Are We Are The Youth Elination. Hello friends, Caldwell here. It is the end of the first episode of Elder Morn, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Howdor Frostback, Steelbreaker, Matt M. and Jordan D.J. Zerks colleagues at Dr. Nebel's office. They all wear gloves and hair nets to work every day and were outraged that Zerk got to do a solo autopsy with the dock. That's honestly fair.

Cutter W. Give G. Zolo Dolo, Dylan B, and Shubert the Mushroom. Sprite Sprites These mischievous, lemon and lime fairies gather whenever a cold, crisp, refreshing glass of Sprite is poured. They also gather for 7 up, but they do it begrudgingly. Danielle the Dastridly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scott D. Needle Blights who use their needles to sew beautiful quilts and tapestries. Unfortunately, the tapestries have incredibly ornate death threats written on them in Cross Stitch. So, by-r-beware. Danny P. Alain-a-C, Mixologist Michael McDee, and Boundor's Boy.

Other members of the rooks. Much like Sib, these ruffians spend most of their day practicing knife tricks and eating freshly carved apples off the tips of their daggers. None of them have ever actually robbed anyone. Andrew B, Justin I, TJ M, the gnome barbarian, Elena M and Traylae the cray-fay. A sleuth of bears with extremely hot claws. They can slice through a tree-like butter and leave a trail of freshly baked salmon everywhere they go. Chili

Jared E. Christopher B. Austin Bonesaw M.R. Damiel R. Jordan L. Wedding guests at the Copper Dagger Tavern, they were taking a selfie when Henry peered through the window, and honestly his presence made everyone in the photo look way hotter. Hogfish strikes again. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Gage M, Skokilla, Destin C, and Richard X Machina. Magic crafters who specialize in creating tiny little bells for summoning horrors. They were attempting to create bells for fancy little princess to summon the royal crumpet

chef with, but something went horribly, horribly wrong. Michael L. Kelvin Noodles, Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakaraiya Sdezekwani, Trast the Traveler, and Jori S. The hottest coroners at Coronercon. And let us tell you, Coronercon is their reaping season. Yow! Dana G, Calum L, Ryan, Jack L, and flawless whale. A set of no-doll encyclopedias on Fia's bookshelf. Here's the thing.

They're pretty outdated, so all their knowledge is mostly wrong. They're pretty outdated, so all their knowledge is mostly wrong. Temporal, Sam L, Nicholas C, Reese NS, Samuel B, and Mike H. The founders of Sprite Couples Therapy, a revolutionary approach to couples therapy where each partner is surrounded by Sprites that glow their true feelings. Maybe Henry and Izzy should have tried that. Huh. Matthew E, Colton B, Adam G. Mateo C. and Eric B. The Thorncirk Bell Choir who is bending over backwards to dissociate themselves with the blindfolded bell ringing murderer.

Yikes. Bad Optics. Panama James. Adrian the Halfling Bard. John H. N. Anime Intellect and Dan. The neighborhood association of Thorncirk that is trying to band smoking indoors and outdoors, solely because of Fia and her cigars. Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty, C.C. Lulu, and J.

Just a couple of Henry's exes, who all pretty regularly get a drunken, hey, I'm really sorry about the way things ended messenger raven from Henry. Yikes. Barnes & Aitor, Douglas A, Michelle O, Luke H, Aiden RH, and Ritterin. The librarians at Thorn Kirk Library, who have fiest picture on the wall with the words, do not loan because of her mountain of unpaid late fees. Timmy R. Lucas B. Aaron S. Kevin M. and Austin C. Patrons of Thornton Kirk's only boxing

gym. They don't like showing the gym with so many undead horrors, but the zombies all pay their dues and wipe down the equipment so there's not really anything they can do about it. Hog fishes above average hog. Ha! New York, Steven C, KJ and Michael Meyer. Members of the Thorncurt Garden Club. Their motto is, if you don't like roses, then absolutely get fucked. Gotta say, I agree. Rahul in, Mike K, Maxwell C, Nick L and Karen T.

The magic tobacco farmers that grow and roll Fia's cigars. They're the only Torsadors, I mean cigar roller, who specifically makes cigars to be paired with teas. They also sell cigars made from tea leaves, but they're much less popular. Acathor 666 Justin Raccoon. Nick W. Michael C. and Robert F. Henry's old landlords. They were very happy that he mostly paid rent on time, but also very sad for him based on how much hungry man TV dinners they saw in his trash. Asmi Im, Nathan, Kazimir, the all-knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, and Eric McD. Har is that the Reaper accidentally made way too attractive.

They're supposed to instill fear and wreak havoc, but honestly everyone loves looking at them. Yow. Burle T. Axel A. The Red Rain. Christian A. And J. Dragonborn. Sprite colored sprites. These sprites are always in the mood for sprite, and you can tell because of their translucent and bubble looking glow.

We got sprite on the mind. Can't get enough of those sprite jokes. Jonathan O. The San Drain. Grant. Bin A. Feldonis. And Dave H. Zombie Ravens who used to love breadcrumbs, but now like brains, but like really crumbly little pieces of brain.

That's their favorite. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Keith K. and Brittany B. A collection of animated beast jayres, but they mostly cover baby beast, so they're super cute and cuddly. Hannah W. Kyle H. Emilio D. Frankie Koala and Big Bad John. A group of young coroners headed to coroner con in an epic costume of one giant dead body. Big Bad John is going as the feet. You're going to win the contest for sure. Aston S. Blair the bug Blair barbarian.

Pork chop, Janille M. depressed demon hunter and Alice. The zombie bird keepers other flock of birds, who were thankfully all out of the tower delivering messages when it was attacked. They did return to find their caretaker fully dead though, so that kind of sucks. Minette F, Pat L, Lauren H, Janina E, and Maddie Y. A bunch of bodies zirke autopseed that are all now covered in Zerke's loose hair. Not cool, Zerke. Sorry, okay, geez. The eldest Barry, Ryan S. The bone duster, Nathan J. And Joshua H.

Bookfarr's book club. They love to read about heroic acts and try to work up the courage to partake in some of their own. It's been working out, but not on BookFar. Robert Crisps, Idrisil, Matthew K, Brent Lee C, and Demar B, a bunch of shadows who actually did steal Henry's string. This is the main reason there was none left for the other shadow thing. Makes sense.

Mike Abbey, Carly Ann, Klaarg of the Thunder Fox, or Hasey, Pupi, Pupi, Ply Ann, Clark of the Thunder Fox, or HAC, Puppy Peppy Puppy, great, and Connor Savage McEl, a zombie wrestling team. They're pretty badass because if you try to take them down, they can just kinda shed limbs to get out of holes. Also their singlets are super sweet and ultra shiny. And that is all of our shoutouts.

Thank you all so so much. You put the elder in elder mourn and we couldn't do this without you. Love you so much. We'll see you next week. Bye bye.