Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 10: The Would Be King (w/ Lou Wilson)

Episode Date: January 15, 2021

The Hexbuds prepare to do battle with the King's half-brother, but face a string of moral quandaries along the way. Jabari goes for the kill, Tarragon attempts diplomacy with a giant monster man, and Corbeau the Crow dons his mask once more. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Medieval Marching" by Yap Audio Production at Freesound.org."Medieval Marching and Chanting" by Yap Audio Production at Freesound.org."Court of the Boy King" by Emily Axford. "Sea Beast" by Emily Axford. "The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Soul Coins" by Emily Axford."The Hexblood Centurions" by Emily Axford."Harrenford" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford."Tundra Trudge" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Angels & Devils" by Emily Axford."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. It doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item.

It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. ["Military Music"] Welcome to the campaign after the campaign, after the campaign,

this is not another D&D podcast. ["Military Music"] Welcome back to Eldermore and everybody! Eldermore! I'm your Dutch Ambassador Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz, Corbo the Crow, Babinow, Emily Axford, Terrigan's, oh now I want to do a Terrigan the Dragon Snake Root. Oh nice. And of course, guest star, Lew Wilson.

Uh, Jabari, uh, Safari, high tower. It's a party, the Safari. I don't know. He's an adventure. Just classic pro wrestler announcer, losing confidence, as he says, the wrestler's nickname. It sounds so good, actually. The idea that we called you in Jabari this far. It's really good. He'll take you on a ride. There he is.

I'm jealous. Jabari wants to take you on a ride. Excuse me. What are you trying to say to me? Jabari? Sweet guys. Yeah, we're hopping right back in with the Hex Buds, dubbed by the fans, dubbed by you. A Hex Bud dub.

The Hex Bud dub. Let's go ahead and do a little recap for our Hex Buds here. So last week, we began with Jabari, who stopped Serenard Wendell from fleeing the castle. Serenard, the captain of Thurston Brightleap's Kingsguard, stated his distrust of the sorceress and her methods for keeping the king alive, so decided to back his half-brother, Wimers claimed to the throne.

After letting Raynard go, Jabari was approached by the sorceress, Moxora, who claimed she could heal the king with the help of the hexbloods. Jabari rushed off to find his former comrads in Heronford, collecting Corbo, in the town square and Tarragon in her plant shop. Together, you join Moxora and her bodyguard, the Prophet Gideon, in a blood ritual to

revive the king. Things quickly escalated, as the room lit on fire, bubbles out of control. Who's that, Murph? Who's fault is that? Hey, was your blood? I'm just saying, is your blood. Bubbles filled with blood and another one of Moxor's goons, the prophet Cain came out of nowhere to offer up a man's ashes for sacrifice. Still chill, come on dude, a guy's ashes.

I mean at least he's already dead, you know. Yeah, it's true. As someone who's like part dragon, I can't really hate on ashes. I mean, at least he's already dead, you know? Yeah, it's true. As someone who's like part dragon, I can't really hate on ashes. In fact, I kinda like them. They make good fertilizer.

I think that, I think this would have ended differently if he just brought a dude that was like tied to a board. You see how he walks in with a gurney. And there's a living breathing really nice guy on the board. Jabari would have taken him on a ride for sure at that time. Oh for sure. The safari would have been back in pools. Oh no. The nickname cannot stick. It's too late. Tarrigan heard.

So Corbo avoided taking part in the ritual at first, but joined after Tarragon was weakened after casting a powerful beacon of hope spell. Together, the three of you were able to pull it off and the king was cured of his deathly illness. Not only that, but his strength and vigor returned to him so thoroughly that he now appears several decades younger, a pumped up King Brightleap immediately commanded Jabari to gather his troops and march on the nearby town of Pearl Hill where his half-brother Weimer is gathering an army against him, and that is where we are now. So you guys have just undergone this insane ritual.

You're in the King's chambers with Moxora, as well as the Prophet's Gideon and Cain. The former is this massive man with a spectral head who you saw, he'd hold Jackalope. Right. And- Can I do an inside check on if he needs to shut out the horns yet? Oh yeah, go ahead and give me an inside check

That's an aid on the dice. So that's gonna end up being a 12 Okay, um, you can't tell if he's just Excited to go to war or if he needs to take a shit He's kind of just like hopping on the balls if it's feeding back and forth. It couldn't be both. Yeah Classic shit hop. Yeah, that's a shit pivot. You see a shit pivot. You see Prophet Gideon doing a little bit of a shit pivot or a war pivot. You don't know with an eight. You don't know. And you see the other guy the Prophet Kane, this dude who had triggered your plant starting to die, Tarragon, is also there. He's a man in

hunting gear, all black, with a blindfold in the style of the Reaper himself. And after giving you the commands to attack Pearl Hill, you see the King. It's just one of these things where when you're talking to him, like as he was giving you the command, he was just looking in all directions, just this really, really intense, manic energy, like he's looking through you. And you see, as soon as he gives you guys the command, he doesn't even like stay and talk strategy, he just like throws the doors open to his chambers and starts just being like ushered around by a bunch of handlers. He begins shouting commands and speeches to different servants.

You see he's like, he's doing like an arrogant speech, but he'll just grab like a waiter who is just, you know, bringing some food to people who are, you know, working within the castle. Doesn't necessarily need to be inspired. Yes. I want to detect evil and good on the king. Okay, I will read to you for the duration. You know if there is an aberration celestial elemental, fey, fiend or undead within 30 feet of you. So if I need to run up to get closer to him, I will.

Is it just within 30 feet of you or is it one target? It's within 30 feet of you. Okay. And it says the spell can penetrate most barriers, but is blocked by one foot of stone, one inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or three feet of water dirt. Oh man. I must say that. I'm wondering if those dirt, any of those in the mix,

so let it dry. I can see that you have this castle specked out materials wise. You see the king is caked in dirt, wet dirt. Three inches of wet dirt. So I guess I kinda wanna know, is he like, at aberration on dead, feene. And maybe, you know, if Maksora's there,

it'd be nice to know. Yeah, no, yeah, believe it or not, this dude with a ghost head is fucked up. Yeah, and it's like I wasn't inquiring about him. I'm trying to ignore the beacon of obvious undead coming from it. Yeah, it's just like cat using a metal detector on a robot. It's like, yeah, he's evil. He's evil. He's he's bad. Yeah, um, Terragon, you kind of sent to yourself and cast a detect evil and good,

and you were trying and I want to do it somewhat surreptitiously. Okay, um, go ahead and give me a deception check. Six. You guys see you guys see Terrigan closes her eyes quietly whispers Super subtle at first, but then starts just speaking in tongues in a loud voice and the whole room Are you talking to us lights up light for a sec reveal yourself shadow and hood. Show me who is evil and good. I just shout. Huh?

You, I mean, you get pings everywhere. I will say that the nature of this world is not quite as cut and dry as being like, oh, this being is evil or this being is good. But there is necrotic energy coming off the king. Is he undead? Cause I know where the creature is located as well. I would say he kind of defies undead.

As do the prophet's Gideon and Cain. Weirdly enough, Moxora is giving off the least weird energy. But you get if all that happened to the king was just, you know, somebody cast a revive on him and he popped back up and he was a regular humanoid, you would not get this energy. There is some kind of, something was done to him.

He's acting like his younger self like he would get very excitable. Yeah, I forgot, I forgot what a hot shot he was in his 20s. Yeah, I mean, everybody's insufferable in their 20s, but especially the king. I know, right? You've known him for 50 years since then. You forget.

Yeah, you're body for kids. You're body for kids. How crazy the king could be. He could get wild. Yeah, you see him just grab a servant who has a full tray of food and just starts shaking him by the shoulders Why, my gathers is troops to an sepian broad daylight when we tolerate this insult saver He's been in our beards. Are you craving are you craving sir? No, you guys no you guys

Yes King yes King Yes, take a mom, King. Take a bomb. Yes. Take a bomb. It's a no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Good! Japan has done COOL! I really think we need to have a little bit of a chat about what exactly went down and how we're going to proceed forward because I personally, as someone who gave my blood to the existence of whatever's happening, I'm not going to go start a war. Yeah, I wouldn't mind a little recap on everything that just went down. I don't feel good about what happened. So you guys are kind of talking amongst yourselves.

I will say there is all of this crazy stuff going on. The king is running around. You see, there are, you know, the guards in here are like inspired. They just witnessed a fucking miracle. So instantly you are hearing just shouts throughout the castle. Just the king lives. It's a miracle. We've been chosen by the gods If you begin hearing like bells tolling through the yards and things

Instant chaos Corbo does like a polite golf club Yeah, and you are kind of just left in the dust here in the King's quarters, but you do see You guys are kind of just left in the dust here in the King's quarters, but you do see Moxora and her two goons kind of walk off to go like follow the King and you see as the prophet Kane passes you Terragon kind of sniffs the air, emotions towards your dragon rose and goes That's a fine plan you got there Are you a plan enthusiast? Innocence

Okay, you're gonna have to elaborate what innocence means because that's incredibly vague and said in an incredibly creepy tone. Is there something creepy about the way I'm speaking right now? What do you mean? What's your interest in my dragon rose? You must know that it's an incredibly rare flower. You see, he tilts his head and smiles and he goes, things that are rare like that, that really want to survive. Those things have the most life in them.

And he joins the prophet Gideon and walks off. Fucked up things, I can't have a agree with him. I look at my dragon rose. I think actually I am going to, because after another encounter, I am gonna do a little tending of my dragon rose. I think actually I am going to, because after another encounter, I am gonna do a little tending of the dragon rose just to like, spruce it up. You see, again, I described it last time

as being kind of like when a certain plant that kind of opens up during the daytime when it's around the sun and closes up at night. You see as profits cane leaves the room, opens up a little again and still looks, not healthy is like a droopy red rose, a massive by the way. This big like fucking like 10 inches in diameter rose.

I take a little condensation that has gathered in my dimple and sort of drip it in. Aw, cute. Oh, wow, that was a lot of water in your dimple. I have very deep dimples. So it's just ringing out her sweaty hair and watering the plant. Well, if there's things that you want to discuss,

do you body suggest that we go perhaps to our old stomping grounds? Perhaps, do you body can offer you a refreshing beverage in the hall of the hex plights? Yes? I confess, it'd be really fun to see that place. Yeah, let's do it. All right, all right, yes, yes, yes. They still have my Steine on the wall, right? Of course. Jibadi would not move a thing.

You exit the castle and you see that troops are being, you know, are starting to line up or starting to like drill and everything already. And you see the king is already on a horse Just going back and forth like giving inspiring speeches to the knights and the foot soldiers around the castle yard Just going And we are treated like intruders to be ousted

Are you cravings? It's just constantly screaming. Are you cravings and grabbing rinses people? Okay, sometimes attacking is actually the most cowardly thing to do. Just feel like they need to attack us. And he attacks us. Narineth. With his words.

And with his actions. Okay, well. See, see, Jibbari wonders, Gordbo, why can't you give a speech like this? This is a good speech, Gordel. I don't love to yell is the thing. But that's half of speaking, yes? Half of speaking is devolute.

I like to light the fire inside the heart that then ends with the yell, but I don't like to do the yelling, if that makes sense. Oh, you see, I'm a whisperer. I see, this is the intelligent job. Body is not on that level. That's beyond me. You guys get the sense that people are gearing up to go.

It is early in the morning now. You know that Pearl Hill is about a days right away, like 10 hours or something like that. So it looks like they're fixing to go soon. Actually, everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Damn it. 16 for Jabari. 26 for Terrigan. Wow, wow.

I got a 21. Okay. I thought a 21. Okay. Okay. I said the dream. You know I thought my 16 was messing. So as you guys are walking off to kind of have a quick chat at the barracks as all these troops are gathering around you, everybody hears the king speaking because he's so fucking loud.

But Terrigan, you specifically hear the people that he's so fucking loud. But, um, Tarragon, you specifically hear the people that he's talking to. Um, you see that there is one of the, uh, higher ranking officers, uh, of like the foot soldiers here, and you see Moxora is there as well, um, and they're kind of talking, um, strategy, like when they're going to leave and everything and Terragon you hear this officer kind of concerned go sir We were prepared to defend the castle, but for us to march. We need time We can we can be ready by by daybreak and we can leave and we can catch them tomorrow night and Everybody here is him loudly just be like tomorrow night

We shall ride in the bebeadeantly are you crazy? Just like grab some Tomorrow night, we shall ride in the Mabidianly! Are you Craven? Just like Grabsum. And as he's shouting, you hear Moxora, Leensin, and she goes, my king, I agree that we should attack immediately, but perhaps it would be best if you were here. Don't let Wimer get the upper hand on you by going to him.

You are the king and you belong on the throne. If Jabari is to lead your foot soldiers, why not send Sergidian to lead the cavalry? And you see the king kind of like bristles at this for a second and he goes Suppose that's right. I'm the king. I shouldn't have to go chasing anyone and he Takes off with like a couple other handlers. You see Moxora starts chatting with the prophet Gideon and Kane interesting Okay, so I I don't know if we have time to go to the hex blood hall because this is all happening

really quickly and I think that we should get on the same page. Jabari, I know you're very excited for this conquest. For everybody, it's very excited. And we're excited for you. Like I know you need to W. You have the Jabari, get the thing that he has wanted most for years. I'm conflicted as well, but it's it's nice to see you smile. It really is. I mean, Jibadi I have

not smile. I mean, Jibadi does not smile often. He's huge. Actually remember you being a pretty smiley guy. Well yes, when you and Jabadi were together, we were fighting, we were in it, we were, you know, we were doing things. Jabadi now just exercises and trains and weights, but all of the weight that Jabadi has been doing has been for right now for today and the three of us have come back together And we are going to Pearl Hill. We are going to defeat Weimer together and then Jibadi and Terragon and Corpo we will Resume at the hex blood perhaps even grow Get bigger find new hex blood. This is going to be huge. This is going to be amazing

Somebody you have a new mage in mines, too. I don't know. I mean maybe I don't recommend moxora I don't know. I mean yes, that was today what your body saw was strange Okay, I wanted to kind of give it to take your temperature on what happened. It was, it was not what you buddy expected and it's not what you buddy asked his friends to do. He was not 100% what you buddy's head was at. But look at the king. He's so happy. Everything is so good. Yeah, look at the king at the king you see as a bunch of people gathered around him If I will not ride then I shall drink tonight Bring me the banquet tables bring me a dark ale bring me a light ale. Are you craving?

Just crabs a random brewer. You not do you not miss this? I mean come on He's a man. The guy that usually just carves the turkey. I feel like he's given these inspirational speeches to people that don't necessarily need them at the moment. If there's one thing I know from my experience with fire, it's that the bigger it burns, the brighter it burns, the quicker it consumes everything that is there to be consumed, and then it goes out

So I think that this enthusiasm we are seeing from him is a Potentially unstable. I will also say Terragon as all this excitement happens around you one of your mutations was that you were given Dragon blood and you do feel all this excitement and of battle and everything and Jabari confessed it is infectious. It's his his enthusiasm is a little bit infectious. You have this like inner being that is like growling and kind of wanting to like conquer Okay, I am I am committed to doing some very deep breaths and cycling through plants alphabetically

to center myself. Allo. Oh, good. Bay leaf. Okay. Jabari, have you considered that maybe the thing that brings a smile to your face is the company and not the activity? What if the three of us brought it all back together and did sort of a Peaceful envoy and went and sort of set up some kind of uh, you know talk back

We with the King's brother We'd get to ride steeds riding into discourse talk back with the King's brother. We'd get to ride steeds riding into discourse. Diplomacy, eh? You see as as as Jabari just kind of like tries to back out of this, you see he's given an immediate out, you see the officer from before comes over and salutes you to Jabari and goes, Captain Jabari, Lieutenant Brython adds your command

as are the worthless toads you see before you. And you see behind him are a few lines of foot soldiers. And you know Lieutenant Brython as being intense, sort of a like a middle management officer, good at inspiring discipline, but just to also to high energy, it's just a bunch of matches that are getting ready to go on fire, not somebody who's like cool under pressure.

Like you see him already like freaking out at people a little bit just being like, Jerry, the bike goes the other way. It goes the other way. I think Jubari is, as much as Jubari is excited, these are his best friends. Jubari is conflicted, I think. And in this moment, like that he's seeing this person

that he recognizes to be like hotheaded with like what Terraghan just said. And it's particularly the metaphor of the fire kind of in the back of his head. He looks over at Lieutenant Brighton. It goes, Lieutenant Brighton. Jabari is eager and excited to command you and the Toads that you run with.

Workless Toads, sir. Workless Toads, you know what I mean? Yes, in Jabadi. Yes, in Jabadi. Dry little shit Toads, sir. Yes, wow. Yes, dry little shit. A little, a little, a little, a little.

Krusty little Toads, they haven't been in the water a long time, sir. Yes, aha, aha. Yeah, okay. Anyway, Jebadi is Consulting with the other hexplot centurions and as soon as we are on the same page We will ride for Pearl Hill and bring glory to the king. Yes, as you command, sir TOOTS You hear everyone at once go. Yeah, yeah, shut up, man. How dare you! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha argument as as if like arguing with a significant other just like how would you do

that to me how would you do that to me that's his nephew we know that I know that you know me and your mom you know we don't hang out as much as you son oh damn child from a divorce yes complicated I'm that. They're kind of having a complicated conversation. You find out that he and his mom used to date. They don't date anymore. Sort of an awkward thing. Dailing. This is like a soap opera.

An extra step. That's uncomfortable. But you guys do see kind of the foot soldiers you have here and by foot soldiers I mean literal like like they walk they like march. They do not have horses They're not like full kind of knights So you guys have kind of a mix here of new recruits and Competent soldiers some of them look like they were kind of inspired by the return of the king and look determined Others look nervous, but some kind of look like annoyed.

Like they're annoyed that they're actually being called upon to do something. But you guys do see, as you guys are kind of talking amongst yourself, you see Gideon is gathering up the cavalry, just like barking orders. Everybody's like fucking terrified of this dude with Sir Raynard gone. Gideon's like taking control of these nights. You see these are actual nights on horseback where a far better trained. Many of them learn to ride at a young age. Some look resplendent in their full plate, red capes and sharp lances.

And you see others are intimidating, like seasoned warriors. You see the prophet Gideon has them all gathered up and ready to march. You see a bunch of laborers with wagons and stuff bringing war tents if necessary. And you see, they start to head out. Jabari, Jabari, you gotta do something, man. You know this ain't right.

I need to understand this situation better because I'll confess my dragon blood is boiling and it's taking everything in me. I'm already to G in my political. Hey, look, I need to understand the situation better. Is there a good reason to attack the King's brother other than pride? Because I could maybe breathe a little fire. It wouldn't be

the worst thing in the world for real. Hold on hold on. Hold on. Please. I hey look I'm stirred up right here too. I'm I've been bored as hell in town. It's just me and my friend and dog and she doesn't do anything. You got a close flat. Yeah Lake is also here. You're finally barking now, Lake. Naps through the whole window. Just looks around confused. Doesn't know where she is. But we've known this king a long time. Would... Jabari, would you ride into battle with this fucking ghost head by your side? Do you trust him to lead our brothers and sisters on horseback?

Tell me that doesn't give you pause. Is it smart to leave the defense of the castle and charge out there into the open against a fucking army? This is bad strategy. It feels like you are using the fact that you know that your body is not the smartest, that your body likes to fight,

and you are saying smart things to slow down your body. So, your body is a part of that. I actually think you're really smart. Okay. You're really smart. I do this, you guys. So, your body misses you so're really smart. Okay. You're really, Jabari. I miss you guys. So, Jabari misses you so much. Just have to say.

You have the coolest nickname of all of us. It was fucking smart to come up with Jabari. That's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far. Jabari has a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far,

that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, that's a far, far, that's a. And you have to understand, Jibadi has not been called that name in many summers. So it's so good to be back with you and to be feeling this way.

But I'm not asking us not to go into back. I'm not asking us not to do nothing. I'm not telling us to do nothing. I'm just telling us to let it simmer, take stock and look at this guy that is gonna lead the battle with us, is this the side? I will say to kind of answer Terragons' earlier question, and so you guys all kind of know the scope

of what's going on here. You do know that this is not just you guys going to attack Wimer. He was off in a different city controlling that area of outer burrow as like minor nobility. He has moved to a town just outside of Heronford waiting for the king to die and if anybody stopped his claim to the throne was going to attack. So he has an army with war tents in a nearby town. This is not just you guys going to like his house and pulling him out. Is he well liked amongst his constituency? No. Okay. Um, Jabari. What if we just got rid of the one guy?

What if we just got rid of the one guy The prophet Oh, you mean whimer okay, I mean I can't get rid of you guys two guys all in I don't know what the fuck is going on that's air We didn't have a moment to say it, but yourani eating a whole jackalot is like that was fucked up How do you body gets it all about showing strength, you know, I mean jibbadi's tattoos are about the same thing But you know it is one thing for jibbadi to get a tattoo is a whole another thing to eat horns But yeah, not that is that is fuck that all destroying his gut health. I guarantee that. That's a wild suggestion that we would go after him.

Jibadi is listening to his friends and dishearing their words. And they are very smart and very well thought out. More thought out than Jibadi. And here comes the butt. No, no, hold on. And here comes the butt. No, no, hold on. Jibadi wants to beat the Hexplates in Torians again and murder

and fight hundreds of people like we used to, you know, in the good old days, but I guess that's not what is against Jibadi. That's not what the other Hexplates want to do. So Jibadi, I'm trying to come around on if there's a way to use our talents and skills in a way that prunes to encourage proper growth instead of just, you know, you know what it is, I think we need to,

we don't need to murder, we just need to cause. And right now, I don't understand what the fuck is going on. Cause like, is that the king? Is that him? I don't know. So as you guys are having these like philosophical debates out in the battle yard,

you see Lieutenant Brythin is like, Captain Jabari, the cavalry is taking off and we are slow within them. Yes, I understand. Captain Jabari, yes. You see and we are slower than them Yes, I understand Okay, yes, you see prophet Gideon takes off goes beyond the castle walls. You see the horses are going okay We need horses. We need to follow him no matter what I say we go right now. We are faster And I say we beat everyone there and we do the thing the terror guns head we have a Discourse and as soon as that does not work,

which it will not, Jabani thinks it will not. Okay, but let's be open. We try to have a private discharge with Weimar and if he is unreasonable, then we have Jabari. Of course, if he's good words and does the whole talking thing that he likes to do for pennies in the square and then when it all falls apart, we do what we do best.

Yes? Everyone in there? We're getting ourselves into another goddamn blood ritual. I say yes to one innocuous thing like yeah, this sounds fine. And then all of a sudden I'm charging into battle on horseback and we're all gonna die. That's where this ends up. I do think though that if we didn't do this blood ritual those that profit gittian that profit cane even moxora they're gonna find a way to do fucked up stuff no matter what yes yeah let's we get it back in for a little bit to try to actually do come on come on Corboe. I'm in, but not in the traditional sense. I need to...

Yes! Let's go! Come on, Horses, Lieutenant Brighton, Horses. Sweet, yeah, you guys, you see Lieutenant Brighton hops up on a horse, has a couple of, like, handlers bring you guys horses because you guys are, like commanders, but you guys are with the foot soldiers So are you are you guys gonna like speed off the army is staying together? Prophet Gideon is not like going off without you to start shit by himself

He just like saw you guys talking and was like I'm going like I think I'm going like I think Jabari looks over at his friends goes okay Jabari thinks that for the most part we all stay together then when we get close we say to the prophet Gideon that we are going to go ahead to scout or something you know a classic what what people do when they go ahead and then Jabari and his friends we we go and we try discourse, yes? And then, I like the plan up until that point, and I'm not sure I like it beyond it,

but I'm in for that part of it. The only tweak I'd make, if I can, if this is an open space that we can kind of give suggestions, is that maybe we don't even rendezvous with prophet Kiddian, because something tells me he's not gonna let us go up ahead. Okay, well, who knows? Maybe us exploits, you know, we think of something that kind of messes with him, you know. We always used to get up the tricks and things back in, you know, we love friends. Yeah, I love friends and people. Yeah. Yeah, I talk circles around that guy. So maybe we poison a jackalope so that he has diarrhea.

This is great planning. All right, that's right. Okay, let's ride. I turned a corbone, just say it's going to be real tempting, getting back on a horse haven't been on one in a while. Yeah, I've intentionally avoided them for just because of the way they make me feel, but. They make me feel good. Yeah, you guys are on these like cool war horses

that have their own armor on. It really feels like you're back in war. You hear, damn. Fuck this is too sick. You hear the stomps of the foot soldiers behind you as they march in line ahead of you guys or a few dozen nights on horseback led by the Prophet Gideon.

And you guys have a long time before you guys reach Pearl Hill because again, like Serenaard said last time, it's about a days ride. You travel along the road west out of Heronford, passing other small hamlets and villages along the way. As you pass, you see various children and villagers are running out and cheering and waving brightly banners. Hello, children.

Jabari says hello. Oh. They give the thumbs up. Do they yell out Jabari the safari? Is that Jabari the safari? Is that Jabari the safari? Jabari is going to take them on it right? Because it's a safari ride I get it After a bit

Sun goes down. Yes travel through the bleak landscape Outside of her infer. And several hours later, after like a 10 hour ride, you begin to recognize this area of outer burrows being like near Pearl Hill. So if there's something you wanted to kind of like pull, nouse time. Jibadi thinks maybe, maybe we suggest to the Prophet getting in that we all bed down for the night.

Yes, because they have been walking all day. We do not want to meet and attack in the middle of the night. That is foolish. Lieutenant Brighton and his toads are dumb. Right? And then we, while everyone is sleeping, yes? We do our thing. Whatever we decide that to be.

What do you think, Carball? Yeah, I think, I mean, look, my goal, I think, is if we can talk to Weimer, we tell him, wars off your brother's alive, you're not the king, nobody dies, and this is all avoided, and we can sort out whatever weird shit's going on back at the castle ourselves. And in the event that the prophet Gideon does not take her advice which feels possible. I'm 100% down to kill that guy. Like that. We start killing. Yes. Whoever

we decided to be it could be the enemy it could be Gideon but murder. Yes. I just want to point out real quick. Look at profit, Gideon's cavalry versus our toads. Come on, dry toads! Get on the water, you dry toads! We're dehydrated, sir. Lieutenant, it's one thing to call them toads, but it's another thing to treat them like their actual toads.

Do you give them food? Yes. Yeah, give them flies. They're not toast. Sir. Lieutenant Bryson, you have to give, to body insist you give them troops water. I give them, I give them a little bit of water,

a little bit of water for the dry toads. Sir, it's hazing, sir. If your troops are saying they're dry, you're not giving them enough water I know that some plans On the field on the field the battle is a really bad time to haze the troops Nobody knows that the fundamentals of battle are The fundamentals of battle are electro-alights. You see, Lieutenant Brighton does bust open a cooler of frostigators. Oh nice.

Okay. Do we feel good about suggesting to the Prophet Gideon that your body's troops need to rest because they are dry and they will live in a good fighting. On a Jabbar, that ain't even a lie. That is 100% the truth. bodies troops need to rest because they are dry and they will live in a good fighting in the... On a Jabbarad, they didn't even allow that. That is 100% the truth. Not even the lie. We just got down in the through.

You found a way to ditch the deceit. I'm really impressed. There we go. Okay. Shelby, Lieutenant Brighton, the hexbloods are going to ride ahead to confer with the prophet Gideon about how to proceed in the near pro here. Yes captain, us dirty little toads will just be back here hopping along. Or you should continue to walk. Don't make them. All right, we'll stop

popping. So you guys ride up and you see the profit giddy and kind of bristles as you ride up. lot inside of it. As Paul as I can on my horse. And again, I'm 4'11 with deep dimples. So deep. Waterful dimples. You see him gawking at how deep your dimples are for a moment? Yeah, it works.

I know what you're thinking in. Yeah. I named my dog after a moment. Yeah, it works. I know you're thinking in. Yeah. I named my dog after him, lakes. Yeah, as you guys approach, you see Gideon goes, shouldn't you be back there with the Toads? You also, you also called them Toads? The body was not aware. We were calling foot soldiers Toads now. I call lots of people toads. Yeah, that tracks for somebody who is. I think the toads thing is taking hold in a weird way. And I think we should try to distance ourselves from it.

I'm fine with dropping the toad thing. I think that's fine. Is that is that what you came to talk about dropping the toad thing? If you want to drop the toad thing, I don't give a shit. That's fine. That was one of the things we came to talk about. Yeah, drop it. Drop the toads. Yeah, drop the totem.

Drop the totem. Can we get that in writing so we can hand it off? Absolutely not. No. Okay. Anyway, yes. Okay, I put my parchment away. What Jabari and the other heck of plots have come to discuss is that the soldiers, seeing as we are no longer calling them toads,

have are very dry for the reasons with the speed with which we left the castle, we were not able to collect enough water and now our soldiers are poorly led. Poorly led by you. Yeah, you're so under the law. I'm just retired, I thought the hexbloods were legendary. Oh, you think they are poorly led, poorly led by you. Yeah, uh, uh, uh, uh, you're so, I'm just tired. I thought the hexbloods were legendary. Oh, you think they are poorly head?

I'm tired. I'm tired. Oh, you're not tired. You're not tired. I'm actually pretty fucking fired up. All right. So what do you want to, I mean, you try, you feel, you feel, uh, you, you want us to prove it? Because I tell you, we go assault Pearl here tonight. I would

like for you to prove it on the battlefield tonight. Yes. Okay, okay everybody. Let's order to it. The fact is yes, we are hexbloods, but the people that we command are not and I don't want to go into battle with a bunch of dehydrated toads who are making bad decisions and I don't think you want to either. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check, but I am going to say you are trying to convince somebody to go against the King's direct orders. So go ahead and make it with disadvantage. Make it with disadvantage, okay. Oh boy. A 19 and a crit.

Come in here and look at it, bitch. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Amazing. So I take the 19 with my persuasion, that's 26. Good God. Okay. Yeah, I said the DC 19 with my persuasion. That's 26 good God Okay, yeah, I said that I said the DC at 25 in my head you see Gideon looks back and sees the foot soldiers who at this point have have walked you know miles and miles and miles

In sometimes they were hop in heavy heavy heavy Yeah, I think their hammies are a sore from hopping you see Sometimes they were hoppin. Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, We make camp here tonight Starts giving the orders you see the orders go out to like the lower officers and stuff You see that there were like laborers here setting up to like rest for the night Okay, I think we need to make a big show of setting up camp Yeah, hey, let's set up our old tent. I think this is gonna be awesome. Oh, yes Lieutenant Bryton Get the hex bloods tent. Yes. Oh, do we have a cool dragon scale tent? You guys definitely don't have a cool tent. You definitely have a shitty tent.

But you see, Lieutenant Brighton has some of the other soldiers start helping them put together a tent for the hexbloods and the other foot soldiers. And you see this little makeshift camp starts to pop up. Okay, so this will just pretend to go to sleep and then... Yes, I go talk to the planet Brighton, I say Lieutenant Brighton. Jebadi and the other Hexbloods will be doing a battle ritual

in the Hexblood 10 tonight that is very violent. And if anyone should attempt to enter But also very quiet and very quiet silent Silent Yes Silent and violent The blood their knives are flying if anyone even attempts to enter they likely will have their throat slit and not be able to Serve their king tomorrow. So no one is to disturb the hex blood during their ritual

Jabari go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage. That's gonna be an eight. Oh, flat eight. Um, you see, looks like doesn't totally buy it, but, uh, you know, salutes you and, uh, this person seems like they don't mind taking orders, so salutes you and goes very well, sir. Jibaddy thinks they bought it. We will not be disturbed. Yeah, you see, within half an hour, they already have your tent set up with some cots laid out and things like that.

There's a dog bed for Lake. A dog bed for Lake. like that. There's like a dog bed for Lake. A dog bed for Lake. There's a bonfire going in the camp. There's like guards posted around the camp. All right, so it's time to do a pre-parlay. It's due to pre-parlay. Have we decided when we get to Wartmer? Yes. We're going to say that the king is alive and this is a bad idea. And then if he says, I don't care, I'm doing my thing, Jibadi and his friends words mean nothing to me. We murder him then or tomorrow on the battlefield.

Terraghan is incredibly conflicted and looks at a Corbo. I mean, let's just see how he behaves generally. Let's see how he behaves, but a beast without a head is easier to fell. Okay, that sounds like we kill him, the three of us together again, doing our thing. Yeah, he does it. Yeah, if he, he's gonna die no matter what,

if he's going up against us, so it's either tonight or tomorrow. And if he's going up against us. So it's either tonight or tomorrow If he goes up against us tonight, then it's only him Okay, okay cool. That's the jibbadi just wants to be sure then I guess let's get our sneak on Yes, sweet um all right. Oh before we sneak I'm going to uh do a closed loop hug So I think I'm gonna be like hey before we go out there here's a new battle tradition and it's just a closed loop hug. So I think I'm gonna be like, hey, before we go out there, here's a new battle tradition, and it's just a good therapy hug.

Yeah, my fucking elbow, Jesus. What the hell is about to bend like that? It is, it is here. It is here. Okay. You guys go in for a hug. Doesn't make any sense. Are you using your ability, Tearagon?

Yeah. Great, okay, so that'll add a deforet of roles Just once a turn once a turn got it. Okay, so here's what I'm gonna say This is a work in there soldiers everywhere. There are guards on patrol. There are guards on lookout You guys have also left yourselves open to be attacked by Wimers forces because he definitely heard about the fucking Army coming down the coming down the fucking road So like there are there are people on horseback out making sure that they're not like, you know, coming out of the woods to flank you guys or anything like that.

So what I'm gonna do here is I'm gonna go ahead and roll a D4 and see how many corners of the camp are like well-guarded by competent knights who are going to to be using their active perception to find you. I rolled a number. You're going to give me perception checks to see if you find a less guarded area. 18 perception for Tarragon. It's a 16 for Corbo. 15 for Gibbond.

With that, you are able to find that there is one area that looks a little bit less well-maned. You guys are off the road. There is a forest, and the terrain gets a little bit more wild up there. And you can assume that a large fighting force could not get through there. So they are more watching the roads and things like that.

There are certainly soldiers out here and people that you will need to be on the lookout for. But it will be a lower number of patrolling soldiers as you guys sneak over to this one corner to try to escape the camp, I'm going to roll another D4 to see how many guards are stationed out here. At the more stationed ones it would have been more D4's, but this one's less. So you see that there are two guards out here. They are going to be using their active perceptions.

There are a couple of other guys, but they look like they're just kind of talking to each other and not fully not paying attention, but they're just like, I'm here if shit goes wrong. So everybody go ahead and give me stealth checks and then these guys are going to go ahead and make perception checks. So yeah.

Oh yeah, it's 28. 23. 25. Yeah. Yeah. That's good to see. Okay, here's what I'm going to say. We said two guards with their perception, they cannot get to your stealth numbers.

So they cannot see you. However, I'm going to roll for both of them If they crit that will be a stroke of bad luck for you guys like the guy just happens to wander towards where you guys are sneaking And you will have to reroll your stealth rolls. So this is not an auto fail if they crit you will just need to reroll So you guys sneak past the first dude That is a natural six completely misses you you guys sneak past the first dude. That is a natural six. Completely misses you. You guys are silent. I'm not in the word natural like that.

Don't throw natural around so casually. And then the natural about six. Attempts to slip into the woods past this last dude. That is a 15. That's a 17. Oh! That misses. You guys successfully sneak into the woods.

Jepar, as soon as we get into the woods and feel safe, Jepar are immediately like pushes you guys in like the like kind of football player way. And it's like, yes, yes. That's just not feel good. Oh, we are doing what we do best. Yes, come behind me. Really good. And I'm just reminding myself how many peaceful spells I have to de-escalate. And I'm just trying to run those through my head. And I'm trying to not,

to not fucking scream because it feels really fucking good Lake starts sliding out like little excited barks We're still thin. We're still thin like like we're still thin like This episode of nad pod has brought to you five bird dogs There a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look.

And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dog's invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo

code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off code Papa for a free Yeti style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Uh, yeah, I think, uh, Jibari is, uh, we head to the, to their camp, yes? I think I'm full sprinting. I'd like to be good my full Sweet, let's I do it too monk running. Oh my god. Yeah, you guys take off running. Um, it has been So long probably since tarragon and Corbo have fully used their hex blood powers

You guys are just shooting through the forest, just like kicking off trees, feet barely hitting the ground. Yeah, I'm right in the back. It comes right back. First, that can I get so am to that my dragon wings come out? Oh, yes. Oh! They are still there. Go back in.

Jabadi wondered, Jabadi wondered because he had not seen them, but they are still there. They are still there. Yeah, this burst of like Arcane magic comes out as these like spectral wings come out from Taregon's shoulders But she retracts them as you guys continue to run along And you guys see after a while you come out from this patch of woods after full sprinting for like fucking half an hour Just insane behavior. Wow. You see not even out of breath. Yes. Anything my lungs feel healthier than they normally do.

And I work in a plant shop. You guys reach Pearl Hill as it's getting late into the night here. You see that this town, it's located at the top of this massive hill of Greengrass, there is a shallow valley before you. That dips down before you can climb up the green plains to Pearl Hill. The elevation is so steep that you actually can't see the town right now. All you see is this white scout tower that pokes out over the crest of the hill. And you see out here, there is a massive war camp. And you see clearly they got word along the way.

And they are more prepared to defend themselves than your guys' camp is. You see they were kind of expecting you guys today. And so you see lines of you know, lines of knights out ready to fight. You see archers kind of, nobody's at the ready, completely ready to go, but this is a war camp on high alert. You see brazier's burning brightly. You see all these tents set up at the top of the hill. And you see, you know, dozens of patroling guards on horseback. The Kings or the the would be Kings, the wannabe Kings,

10 is usually more obvious than other ones. Can we spot that? Go ahead and give me a perception check with disadvantage. And I'll say this will be DC 22. I did not make it. Okay. Yeah. Impossible to see from this far away. Okay. This might be a full zarend. I was thinking I could try and fly us in. Yes. We did that many times, you know, in the in the days of old. Yes. You would fly with Jabari and then drop and then you're

body with a swing and she'll little Jabari bomb Yes, the Jabari bomb. That's what we called it Gosh I will say Teragot Jabari is very glad you suggested this course because the tones in this situation Would die just in this course because the tones in this situation would die. We had, there's no question. They would all die. Yeah, it does, I do wonder if seeing this,

if Gideon is leading everyone into a slaughter anyways. Mm, see, these are the things. Jepadi does not ask these questions. Jepadi friends ask these questions. That's why Jepadi's friends need to get back on the horse. I mean, doesn't that feel good? Runny, saving people. I just, I don't, I, Jibadi is just pointing out what he feels like is very obvious. So what do we do here? I mean, the, the only other recourse I could consider is us knocking out some guards taking their uniforms and then in walking

into the camp, but that seems insane. We are the hexbloods. I would assume that our appearance would give us away. Your appearance wouldn't give if you were wearing like a helm or something like, yeah, you have, I mean, Terragone, you straight up have dragon eyes. So if you sat and had a conversation with somebody you would be you know Hard to talk to them, but you don't look that different than a normal humanoid All right, so we so we fuck up some guards then we find whimers tent and we walk in and we and we pre-partly

That's the plan. Yeah, this is how the great Yes, I want to use crime emotions or fast friendship and have them give us their outfits. I know that that's not going to go well. I think we need to straight up. I haven't punched anyone in the face in like 70 years. I think I'm kind of ready to do it. Yeah!

Jibani would like to look around for, I mean, if for this plan that we're thinking about, is who, what are the potential, can I make a perception check for potential groups of guards on patrol? Go ahead and make a perception check. I will say, I will say the better the perception check, the more you're able to find kind of the weak links

who are off by themselves. And I'm gonna do an insight check if this is a lost cause. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You're not going in here. Good. So we are going in here for an assassination. Okay, interesting. I mean, and our army this organized without its leader will definitely slaughter less of our toads. Hey, the odds are stacked against us, but what else is new? That's why we were fucking invented. Yes. But he has always known that the pre-parley would likely be a failure. he has always known that the pre-parley would likely be a failure. And he has said that, Jibadi has not once suggested, he has he has always clarified what would happen after we tried, but you know, Jibadi. Okay, he's not about failing, it's about trying.

And you know, you know, we give it a all, that's all we can do. Do we want, I rolled a 14. I'm 14, a 14 other perception check. Okay, so this will determine, I will say, with a 14 perception check, the way we'll handle this, is go ahead and as you guys approach the first guard that you want to knock out, go ahead and roll a D20, a one through six, because 20 minus 14 is six,

a one through six means you missed missed somebody and there's another guard nearby So go ahead and roll me a luck check just D20. I'm rolling a D20 and if I don't roll a 6 it's bad A 1 through a 6 it means there's another guard. It doesn't mean that they saw you It just means you didn't see him until you got close. Maybe he wasn't holding a torch 8 8 maybe he wasn't holding a torch. Eight. Eight. Okay. Ooh.

The baits are great. Looking are me. The baits are great. Okay. The baits are great with an eight. You see that there is one guard here by himself. Out, not on a horse, just has a torch, walking around, patrolling.

Everybody give me a stealth check. He will make a perception. 21 for Karrigan. 22 for Karrigan. Okay. That's a 16 for Corbo. This guard rolled a natural 18 with his perception. That is a dirty 20.

You see, as you guys are sneaking along, Lake is kind of stealthing next to Corbo. Trips him up a little bit. Damn it, Lake. Corp where you make a quick sound. You see this young guard holding a torch in his hand, raises it up, sees you guys, go ahead and roll initiative. He'll get to scream on his turn.

Shit. Jesus, what an idiot. 17. 17. That's going to be an 18. Okay. All of you guys go before this fucking dude. Go fuck. Obviously you go first. Go. All right. I lower my plague doctor mask and I say you didn't see nothing and I headbutton. Go ahead and make it a sacral. That is a one. Oh my God, you miss big time. The next one is 23. You successful, you do one headbutt with,

you go what? And then you headbutt them again and successfully it. Ah, it's hard to see out of these eyes. And then I'll- I'm getting used to the aesthetic. Can I just like try to grapple them as a bonus action? No, I'm gonna say as a bonus action, you have to use your abilities as written.

Okay, I'll just punch them in the stomach and try to knock the wind out of them. Great. That is a 16 to punch them in the stomach. Great, how much damage did you do with a headbutt? 10 damage with the headbutt, and then the unarmed strike was another step. Insta- knocked out so fast. Headbuttum, fuck up his nose, punch him in the stomach, dude goes down right away.

I hate to do this, but I think we gotta tie him up. Sweet, yeah, you guys. Yeah. We gotta gag him too. We gotta gag him too. Well, hey, does anybody have any like jerky or an apple? Let's gag him with something that's kind of... Oh, something like's kind of tasty. Oh, something that tastes good. Yeah. I like how his herbs. That'll work.

Okay. I feel his mouth with a bunch of mint. Yes. His breath is gonna smell fucking amazing. It'll be like he's gross to see. Cause you do, you know, it's interesting. When you take a nap or like you go to sleep and then your mouth tastes like shit,

when you wake up, same thing happens when you're knocked out. So he's really gonna appreciate it It's gonna bomb a lot of goodwill when he wakes up and tells everybody that he got his ass kicked in his uniform stolen So you guys steal the studes chain mail Just luck check them. Let's see who who fits at the best everybody go ahead and give me a roll Seven five Seventeen Jabari, and this guy was six but seven. Yeah, the student tallest fuck and Super super skinny not as not as sin you e as Jabari, but similar similar body type in clothes

Jabari only puts on as much as he like has to to feel like he looks like Jabari doesn't want to put on armor. So it like if anything, I would love to just drape whatever King's colors, like whatever like vestments over the top and y'all put the helmet on. Cool. Yeah, you put on like this skull cap and you see that this guards tabored Wimers colors.

His flag is the jackalope, a yellow jackalope on a blue flag. He's made like his own thing. Jibari spits on himself real quick. Jibari spits on himself. Yeah, I'm whimer. You can tell he might have an undying, no sinus infection. It's gnarly. There's a lot of that.

Damn. So you guys have knocked out this one, dude. How would you like to proceed? Arlead. There's a lot of that. That's a little bit. Damn. So you guys have knocked out this one, dude. How would you like to proceed? Find another. Go ahead and give me a perception check. One person is the lead. I got a 27 on your perception check.

Good God. Okay. Wow. Plus seven plus, oh no, part of me, 25. Sorry. Okay. With a 25, I'll say, do you want to find a group of two or do you want to just do one person? I think I want to find just one person one person because it was really efficient and we were able to take our time and give them a good

Great minty hog time nice hog time great with that perception check You're able to find another dude out here with a torch. I'll say that right now Jabari is just kind of holding the torch, patrolling the same area that this dude was, so it's not obvious. Like the torch doesn't even hit the ground, you guys are so fast. You guys like knock this dude out, Jabari grabs it, and is able to change. And you guys are hiding in the darkness near the torch. Jabari goes to approach. This other guy is you guys are in the shadows. Corbo and Tarragon go ahead and give me stealth checks. Can I give them advantage by yelling something or like saying something to the guy? I could use that because I rolled a three.

Yes, I also want to go friend eat Can I can I ask you a question? Give me a deception check It's a three on the deception I'm gonna say you do not get to give advantage Okay, then I go with my original 14. I got 14 total. Okay, and I got a 16 if I have to go with the original.

You do have to go with the original. This guy did not see anything until Jabari started yelling and then just the flicker of flame lights up you guys in the nearby grass Go ahead roll initiative Okay, oh no 19. Thank God. I rolled a nine I rolled a six. It's got beach of barry and Corbo I'm also going to go ahead. We are off the rails today, baby. We are fucking pre styling.

So you're starting to say I'm gonna say some dudes are gonna be a little harder than others. I'm gonna ask you guys to roll a D20 6 through 20. It's just another guard one through five. One is really bad. This will probably be a tough dude and Two through like five. This will be like, you know, a pretty tough night. I got a 19 on the deck. 19. Okay, just another guard.

You go, you go before this dude. You see this dude looks up at Jabari and kind of just makes like a, you go, ah, as you fly out from the torch lights. Okay. I am just going to attack him great. I Rolled twice so I have two attacks. I got a one-on-one, but since I have half-ling stats I get to be really 18 and Then I used my d4 for one of them to be a 22

Super heads. Yeah. Yes, yes. The dragon is back. 17 damage. You knock this dude out. OK, I think I do all elbows because I feel bad about it, so I'm using my elbows, not my hands. You said you never get one on your hands again. And punch trouble head.

Even my hands clean. I'm keeping my hands clean. Oh, please, bunch me. You just, what a loophole you've got. Like an MMA fighter, you just do falls down. I'm not knocked out yet. She gets down, mounts him and just starts throwing hard elbows. And you successfully knock this guy out.

I'll say for simplicity's sake, this dude's a little shorter, it looks to be around your size, terror gone, with your perception check, you were able to scope this dude out. You guys see a flicker of flame in my eyes as I do that? Jibunny, he literally, Jibunny hasn't attacked at all, but he's watched his two friends attack

and is just electric right now. It's probably part of the reason he couldn't deceive anyone is because he's just too excited to be a hex blood right now with his other Hex blood centaurians. I look around for the most fashionable way to wear the To wear the tabored and then I emulate that. Okay, great. Yeah Obviously still in the vogue in the style of this Yeah, you see that some people, you know, wear the tabored sort of the classic way and other people kind of throw it over one shoulder

As sort of, you know, like you would do with a swing will strap backpack style. Yeah, my single straps no tabored. You single strap the tabored Sweet, I'll say you also have a torch. You have this this um this guard's torch. Corbo. We got to get you suited up I'll say Corbo this time go go ahead and make the perception check. Or whoever wants to take the lead can make the next perception check. Uh, 16. 16. Okay. Um, go ahead, uh, and roll a luck check.

Um, one through four means you missed a dude. Uh, you guys find somebody who you think is alone. It's a nine. Nine. You pass. Um, it's just this one person go ahead and make Stealth checks just Corboh. Just Corboh. Yeah Like like stay with Jabari stay with Jabari Seventeen you hear the guard goes you guys buddies or something

I can roll d20 for perception Good god 21 Seize I I'm rolling very well for these cards. They only have a plus to your perception once again guys go ahead and roll initiative Great another nat one, but I get to reroll it. Okay. Oh, only a four though. Nine. Let's do it as 16. 20. Oh, okay, lord.

I have a nine. Okay. Nine. You see this one, this is the closest you guys have gotten to like truly getting caught. This guy breathes in to let out a yell. Jabari, you've got the opening move. Jabari is not going to attempt non-lethal damage.

Jabari, Jabari full on, drops the torch, pulls out his longbow, quietly whispers feed, and is going to, I'm gonna cast Sharp in the blade. Oh my god. Plus three to attack and damage, then I'll take two attacks, both of them are gonna be with the sharp pewter feet, that's a minus five, but I have a plus nine, and I have a plus three from the sharpening the blade, so this would be a plus seven to both attack.

Is sharpening the blade a bonus action spell? Yes it is, it's like a monk ability. Amazing. First one's a 22. Yes. Second one is a 18. Yes. Second one is a 18. Yes. It's a minimum of 20. It's a minimum of 32 damage before I roll the D8. Gone. He's absolutely gone. You got to two two air.

You're just face. Be careful. I am going to cast next time you try to do that. I'm going to cast warning bond on the person and then I'll take the damage you do to them. No, you. Okay. Okay. Jibbari does not want to hurt you. All right. Jibbari. He jumped the gun on that one. Jibbari.

Damn. What are you? What are you talking? He's okay. He can fix this. Maybe he's okay. And uh, Taregan still hogtize him and puts him in his mouth. Delusionally.

He barely has a mouth. He doesn't have a face. Jibbari shot his face. His head, his head falls off. mouth, delusionally. He barely has a mouth. He doesn't have a face. Jabari shot his face, though. His head falls off. The arrow shot so clean through his throat. His head falls off as he opens his mouth, but minting it. Stuff the mint in the neck hole where his head was.

I actually feel pretty conflicted wearing this guy's armor if I'm being honest. Yes, I wish he wasn't exactly my size. If it's like a glove Karate I will leave it at this the training is going well Yes, okay, can I do it through his pockets to see if I can find anything that makes me feel like this was a bad guy like Wrong luck check one through 20. Oh Fuck me. I rolled an eight he was fine.

Eight. He wrote a letter to his fiance. He was really excited to you know join the war effort and protect outer borough. He was excited to reach full knighthood and get some land so they could settle down and have a family. I fold up the letter. I fold up the letter and I put it in my pocket. Oh, so you can deliver it? I'm gonna deliver the letter. Okay, well, let's never speak of this again.

Why? Your body is very proud. It's nice for the job. It's friends to see that your body is still God it. You know what, Jabari, you're right, he was gonna die in battle anyways. You know, in the ideal outcome, we wanted him dead anyways. So I guess whether or not we kill him now

in this moment or later in battle, it's all the same. And if anything, he got a cooler death than most people because that was a really some beautiful violence that you wielded. Kill by a hexblood. Don't get better than that. The body is proud. Some hint falls out of his head.

Okay, yes, now. Reparlay, then failure, then murder. Come on! No! It's not fair, good ballers. No, three, two, one. The air-gun ball looks. Sweet guys, go ahead and give me one last perception check as you enter the camp.

15. 21. 24. 24, okay. Terragon, you're kind of leading the way here. You see kind of where there aren't as many people around where you're less likely to get, you know, called on by like an officer or something like that.

Like you kind of use your, like you guys have night vision as hexbloods. You're looking around, you're reading body language, you're seeing like, okay, that lady over there is a commander, she's yelling at somebody, I don't want them to see me. This dude's kind of dawdling around. He looks like a new recruit. He probably doesn't know everybody and you kind of go more over. So it's socially navigate. Socially navigate. So socially navigate.

Find the guy with the cleanest boots. Yes. I will say as you guys approach, this will be a lower DC because you're going towards like the easier area. One of you guys who ever wants to take the lead, go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage. Okay, who has the best deception I have? I have minus one. I know it's not Jabari.

I have, I mean, I have zero. Or do we, geez, nevermind, I have plus five. Hell yeah. All right. Horrible. You know what? I think it's time for, it's time to see you in action. Cornboy, you're so squirt.

Yes. I'm a sneaky little fuck. Dirty 20. Add your D4 just in case. Yeah, we huged Ruffa. That's a 21. You guys do a little hug, classic guards in Wymer's army behavior. As you enter.

Dislocated. Corbo, with his weirdly nihilistic life view, is able to just be a little bit more chill and who cares and kind of is able to just saunter into camp like he belongs. When you belong, no where, you belong everywhere. You know? Yet again, I like, I don't know what it means,

but also the sounds really good. It sounds so good. As soon as you don't understand, that's when you finally start to get it. As you guys walk around, we will still count the perception check that you guys got before, that 24. You will kind of again socially navigate,

staying away from officers, Corbos leading the way, Corbos looking confident. You guys are all looking like guards and soldiers in Wimers Army as you go through this camp. So I'm like the caboose almost steering us and Corbos like the face. You see that there is a larger war tent, two brazers outside of it.

You see two guards stationed there, like with pikes at the ready, outside of this is either where the king gives commands and there's like a map and a table and things like that, or this is the king's own personal tent. You do not see the would be king Weimar right away, but you guys would probably recognize him, but Jabari would definitely recognize him. You see Serranard Wendell walks out of the tent. It's got like his helm at his side. He's in full armor. Yeah, you see him walk out of this tent. It looks like he was just conferring with the king about something. And you see, he goes to approach another tent.

I do a cool hair thing so that I turn my back so that he can't see my face. I pretend I'm picking something up off the ground. So I fully, fully looking to write the ground. You can't help but look dead at him the whole time he walks by. Jabari, did you drop something too? No, Jabari did enough to help him. I. Jabari didn't you drop something to? No, Jabari didn't have to open. I kicked Jabari's knees. The back of them.

You see Jabari, Jabari bows and He had a concert reinar. It goes, Sorry Jabari. It's not customary. You could just salute soldier. Keeps walking. I promise it was for the best jibari. I promise.

But no, jibari was expecting support. Like when you made the blood come out of a jibari's mouth. That's what you know. I know. You want to know what? You go toe to toe with him. You've got my support. But right now we can't, we can't deplete our resources

on some little idiot. Well, he is a little idiot. He's definitely not some little idiot. He will use a little idiot. He's definitely not a little idiot. On some ferocious fall. Yeah. The little idiot already got shot through the face by a Javari's arrow. Yes.

It was too late. Yes. Um, all right. Shall we go in? Shall we? Is there a way to try to go under the tent behind? Can we sneak under a flap? Oh, interesting.

So you guys are going trying to sneak into the king's tent. Yes. OK, you're going to do it going under one of the tent flaps. Yeah. OK, yeah, but not just any tent flap, the one on the side. Got it. Yeah, we thought this out, Murph. We're going side flap, not back flap. We are elite warriors, Murph. Everyone expects back flap. We are elite. We do side flap. I'm going to go ahead and do a real quick like hand squeeze of anticipation and do just in case the emboldening bond is up.

You guys go over to the side flap, somebody go ahead and give me whoever is the one lifting the tent up, go ahead and give me a slight of hand. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's gonna, this determines what he has to be. Yes. Okay. You should have me do it because I reroll ones. What were we thinking? Well, it was a, I guess I get to say this for the first time on the show. No! You're the two crew.

Oh my God! You guys got so far! So that's gonna be a plus. It's a D7. So Jabari, put your hand under the tent flap. You start to lift it up, and this is sturdy tent. This is not just something that you can just like really easily lift the flap up. So I'll even say that one of the spikes that goes into the ground like starts to come up and the whole war tent

shakes and you instantly Hear guards going up. You hear like the clanging of Metal and like chainmail as like guards are getting worked up and you hear somebody be like someone's trying to get in the cage step The side flap the side flap Shit we invented that move. Go ahead and roll initiative That's another net one that I'm gonna fucking reroll what the heck I've rolled so many damn threes It's crazy. That's an eight also eight 13 good God guys Which if which of you has I'll say I'll say Jabari will go before Corbo because he was like

He used the hand that was I'm propping the tent. Yeah the shouts of the side flap the side flap Shit they're wise to the side flap trick the classic side we've been doing it for a hundred years the sideflap trick. The classic side, we've been doing it for a hundred years. The sideflap changed. What used to be the sideflap play that used to, nobody knew it. I guess it's made in shape. It's a real popular.

We made it legendary. Yeah, we did it. We did it. It is on our shoulders. Yeah. So, minted it in history. First things first, there must have been a couple of dudes right by the side flap.

You see Jabari as you reach in to lift up and sneak in. You see instantly a trio of knights grab the side flap with you and just hoist it up, three dudes pop out. They are all gonna take cracks at you. Pull out great swords and swing on you shit Okay, tend to hit probably misses misses. Okay, 18 19 second attack 20 to hit it cool I pre-rolled damage for these guys was thinking they were gonna be on the battlefield not in a tent But I still have the damage 15 damage on the first hit great second night goes

That's a 23 to hit. That's 14 damage to Barry. It takes a second attack. Misses. Next guy takes his first attack. Misses. It takes a second attack. Misses. After the nights, the guards are gonna go. Four guards run out. Two of them run out of the side flap. They just fucking cut through it. I'll say instead of, you know, it of them run out of the side flap, they just fucking cut through it. I'll say instead of, you know, it's not the type of tent that you can exactly grab and completely throw over.

So I'll say these first nights just like slashed through it. So you've got three like burly nights in full armor. And then you've got four like smaller guards in chain mail with like long swords, come running out, they are going to take cracks at, let's say, Tarragon. Okay. 15 to hit, Mrs, I would assume?

Mrs. 20 to hit. That hit. Six damage. And these are guards, not, oh, okay. Guards, not knights. Third guard goes, Mrs. Fourth guard goes, Crits.

Damn. 13 damage, Tarragon. Okay. On initiative 18, you see the would be king Weimer in full plate mail, but you see his armor is like painted gold. It's not made of gold, that'd be way too soft. It's just like painted gold. And you see he's got a blue cape on, and a gold crown.

You see he's a stern looking man in his mid 40s. He's a lot younger than Thurston Brightleap because he's his half brother. So it was his father's second marriage. Got it. You see, he pushes past the knights and goes, who are these spies? I fight my own battles out of the way.

And we'll take a crack at Corbo Hey What is your AC Corbo my AC is 19 Wimer whiffs on both attacks and it makes like a wienery sound as he's a pretty like He's a pretty like buff guy. He's got like a dad bot like he's not quite a warrior anymore And he swings on you just like Nice try that was really good. I was scared for a second Why am I do you remember us it's us and so the hexbloods? Hey

He Looks at you and Terragons sees your unmistakable dragon eyes out from under your metal helm. He spits on the ground and he goes, this is the best my brother can do to send his sick little guinea pigs. He seemed to have a pretty bad sinus infection also. What? Yes, spit that on the floor. It shouldn't be super viscous. Shut up.

We're here because we're trying to prevent a bunch of unnecessary death from the troops. Ars and yours. You don't have to worry about preventing my death. And you see three archers round the corner on initiative 16. Three archers are going to take shots at Corbo. All right. Three hits and a crit. Okay, we can figure this out.

We can figure this out. We've got, we can figure this out. We're Hacks, Blood, Centauriants. Sure, there's a ton of enemies around us with super low initiative order. We can figure this out. Like we fight together and we die together. Tonight we might die together.

26 damage, as you see, four arrows stick into a Corbo. That is Terragans turn. I think I'm just gonna say, Wimer, actually I'm gonna turn to the rest of them and say, we don't wanna kill the rest of you. We just wanna kill this fucker and then I'm gonna attack to the rest of them and say, we don't wanna kill the rest of you. We just wanna kill this fucker, and then I'm gonna attack. Oh my God.

I'm talking. The fucking would be king. Okay. Wow. Ask my bonus action though. I'm gonna cast Spirit Trow. I call for spirits of the dead, which flit about me, so that my damage is an extra D8.

Okay, nice. Hell yeah. Does a 25 hit? 25 hits, yeah. And then I'm gonna roll to see if I hit the second time. It is literally the same exact roll. Great. So I hit twice.

You say this insane thing, Tarragon. You just rush forward. You are gonna take shots from the four guards around you are gonna get opportunity attacks. All right, what option do I really have? I just did all this damage and I already did it. 12 damage. And then I hit him for 34.

He looks worse for where? You see Tarragon goes and fucks this dude right off. That is... This is the king. This is the king. Jabari's turn. Would be king. Not the rule.

Jabari, not the king. It's Wimer. It It's the one. How many feet away from me is he? He's close. I all cast all right. It's not casting, but I'll use sharpen the blade again. Okay, we even Around me dodging with these blades like pass me Seeing that Terragot is not interested in fleeing only makes my blood boil hotter not interested in fleeing, only makes my blood boil hotter because if you already was ready to flee if his friends wanted to, but clearly the blood of the hex blood still runs in them. And their desire for battle has not yet been quenched. And I will between these. It's going to be an option. I just feel like we came here to either reason with

this guy or assassinate him. So it's like B is gonna full on rip off this fucking piece of shit. What is this thing called? The thing with the tabern. Yeah. Rips it off. Along with it, undoes the rope around his best full on tattoo is out. Whispers feed and then it's gonna take two attacks

on the king as well. First one, first one's 11 to hit. That is not gonna hit. You see it pinks off his armor. Yeah, that is definitely not pink then. They're not experiment with your eyes, Jabroni. Oh, no. Oh, no you really respect the ask the really the Xbox. Yeah, no fucking done that. Gibroni doesn't rhyme with Safari

That's gonna be a 21 to hit 21 to hit does it. Yeah, I'll use a key point for death strike Which allows me to add a D8 okay, okay 2d8 9 plus 8 17 plus 10 27 points of damage. S. I throw up a shoot an arrow surrounded by dudes. Yeah, you see that one strikes him right in the ribs, like under his breastplate and his breath becomes raspy. You see a little blood comes out of his lips. I mean, you're all shout-strut the camp.

The king has been shot. The king has been shot. Assassins, assassins. Oh, fuck. He's looking at her, but he's a big sturdy dude in a lot of armor. Corbo, that is your turn. OK, hey, whimer, we actually should have led with this,

but we got good news. Your brother is fine. He is. What do you mean he's fine? You don't have to. Corboh, I think you heard already. You don't have to go to war if you don't want. Your brother is alive.

Of course I want. He's been tainted by some blood magic. Not necessarily. Actually, no one knows who's blood it came from. Yeah, no one knows. It's the jury is out on. Yes, we do. it came from? Yeah, no one knows. It's the jury is out on blue blood. Yes, we do. It came from us.

The king is filled with the hex blood. We participated in the ritual. It was gnarly. His eyes just widened. I'm so fucking conflicted. I guess I'm going to try to... I'll hit him with my studded bat. Okay?

Yes. Hey, all right, conflicting is, my dice is conflicted too, shout out to the two crew. Mrs, he's able to block it with his sword. You see, surprisingly still has some fight left in him. I think, yeah, you're conflicted, you're not swinging as fast as you could. He gets the great sword back up and, and it's able to block it.

Okay, I'm gonna take my second attack. I'm trying to, I don't know if it's gonna come to it on my turn, but I'm gonna try to do non-lethal damage. Okay. It's not gonna be an issue, that's a four. Corbo really doesn't want to be doing this. A four. Corbo. You miss big time.

All right, I'm gonna use a key point for my bonus action and stunning, can I stunning strike him? Yeah. That's a five. A five. You actually don't have to use a key point because what you can do, Jake, is you can flurry a blows and get another chance

to hit him and then use your key point to stun him. I see. So I'll bonus action, flurry a blows. I'll, we'll say the first one was that five. Got it. Okay, so he's doing his second attack now, so he's missed one second bonus attack. Okay Okay, that's a 25 okay, you're gonna hit okay. I'll use a key point to try to stun him Okay, just relax and we just want this was supposed to be a diplomatic mission That's arrows everywhere

Just want to talk to everybody what kind kind of parlay comes into the side flap? It was the preparlay. It was the parlay. Before the parlay comes preparlay. You put it to the front flap with the back flap. The back flap and the post-alparlay. The back flap for the preparlay. Side flap is for no parlay.

We saw it's flaps to side bar. We just wanted to chat. You can't side bar before you side flap. You want to side bar. We just wanted to chat you want to get a side bar if you want a side bar It's side bar before you side flat. So does the stunning track do damage also? I think the He just oh he has to do a save to okay. What is this a con save a DC con save 16 Matt 20 You see yeah, he's able to block a bunch of your blows. You punch him in the face.

You see he just spits blood and keeps fighting an initiative six. Fuck you guys see everybody know the Kings of love. There's a war priest who is going to go ahead and cast a fourth-level cure wounds on the king. Jibbari is looking at his friends. Okay, you see this war priest in plate mail has like a sigil of like the elder with him is gonna touch the would be king and heal him. You see Jabari's arrow falls out of him, his wound begins healing a bit, he looks better, starts breathing a little easier. Definitely is still very hurt. So there's three knights that were after Jabari. So first one is gonna try to get away. Jabari, you may do an opportunity attack if you'd like.

That's gonna be a 13 to hit. 13 hit misses. Okay, this one night is going to go over and grab the king and pull him back into the tent. Wouldn't I get an opportunity attack if he were? Yes, you would get an opportunity attack. You and Corbo both get opportunity attacks. Okay, I think that what I'm gonna do,

would be king. Yeah. I think I'm gonna cast Inflict Wounds because I'm a Warcaster. You can't cast Inflict Wounds, so. And then, as a Warcaster lets you cast a spell as an opportunity attack. Wow.

So I'm gonna do, I don't have any third level spell as left, but I'm gonna do a second level in Flickdewoon's. Okay. Hell yes. Does a 24 hit. Yeah, let's go. 20 damage.

Wow, looks fucked up, but you undid essentially the good that this war priest was able to do. Still alive. We're in an L, okay. Corbo, now the dragon's hungry. You've got to, you've got to shot. Don't walk away from this. We're trying to talk to you.

I'm gonna put my plague doctor, mask on and head butt the back of the shed. Oh my God! Yeah, go ahead and make it a sacral. He's pecking him. That is a 26. That is. I'm gonna use a key point and I'm gonna enact hand of harm,

which does a one T-8 plus four, necrotic damage. Okay. It is 21 damage total. Oh my God. You strike him. There's this burst of necrotic energy. He coughs up a bunch of blood in a burst There's this burst of necrotic energy. He coughs up a bunch of blood in a burst

as your hand strikes his chest. You see his eyes close as he falls back into this night's arms. The night continues using the rest of his turn to drag him back. And you see Wimer opens his eyes Blood trickling out of a slice smile and as he's dragged away he goes another failed experiment

You hear war horns blaring alerting the entire camp to your presence. And that's where we'll end our session. What? No, you can't. No, perfect. Oh my God. So, guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash nad pod.

That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing yet. Wee! Don't sing. You can listen to our after show there. That's NADD, P-O-D, don't sing yet. Wee! Don't sing. You can listen to our after show there. In the meantime, Lou, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Yeah, I, um, why is this, it shouldn't be hard.

I don't know, I've been listening to the new Avalanche's album, A TUN. It's fantastic. You can also check out my single Coda available on Spotify and Apple Music. And follow me on Instagram if you want to do that at Sweet Luzin, yo, Sweet Luzin, I&HL. Sweet. Jake, do you have anything you'd like for us to plug? I just want everybody to tune into the Buffalo Bills game on Saturday. Yeah. We did watch the Buffalo Phil last week. We did watch it last week. It was a thrill. And it was a thrill to be a bill. You know, that's it.

We're pulling for him. That was the first NFL game I've watched in a long time. And I had fun. Lou, I think we made like a promise on our short rest or maybe the main feed that we were going to go to Buffalo and Buffalo won the Super Ball. So we're pretty invested. Yeah you guys get to go to the home of the original Buffalo. Wait, I mean that's a big trip. It's gonna be a big trip. Let's go build. Maybe we'll catch a Saipers game while we're there, huh? Good why not yeah, great

Sweet guys, buddy and Buffalo. Thank you all so much for listening. I think no none of us use Twitter anymore So follow us on Instagram at I also don't really use Instagram, but why not follow I got a e-acstrad on Instagram. Follow e-axford on Instagram. Now I'll start a newsletter. Jake Kerwitz is Jake Kerwitz on Instagram. Sweet Luzzy. The end of the about my newsletter. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we social media platforms for information on NAD pod by looking up hashtag NAD pod that's NADDDPOD.

It's the end of the show everyone and you know what that means. It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with David R.C. Julia W. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Halder, a frostbacked steel breaker and Matt M. Castle workers who are absolutely amped on king bright leaps inspiring speeches. Usually, their jobs are things like keeping the stables full of hay were a little mundane, but now they're pumped up and keep yelling, why no cravings as they work. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jaigi, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B,

Rogues who actually invented the side flap emitterons. For years, it was easy to sneak into camps all over Eldemore, but after their 20-a successful heist, people finally wised up and started putting guards on both side flaps. Shoeburt the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beard Mandan, and Scott D, owners of a gym in Outerboro, which promptly went out of business when Jabari showcased his Svelte-B bod, which was achieved entirely by doing bodyweight exercises at home. Danny P, Alaina C, Mixologist Michael McD, and Balnor's Boy.

Lakes Trainers who taught her that if she gets just the right amount of doing her eyes and looks just the right way at Corbo, he will fetch her a stick every single time. Andrew B. Justin I. T.J. M. the gnome barbarian, Elena M. Trayla the Greyfay and Jared E. Senior officers whose cadets reported getting jumped and having their uniform stolen. They were kind of at first, but then the young soldiers breathed was just so fresh that they had to let it slide. Christopher B. Austin Bonesaw, MR, Damien R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, and Octolitch. Wimers, Rhymers. They perform a nightly rap battle for Wimers,

who, unfortunately, for them, despises Rhymes in music. Weird that it continues, but what are you gonna do? Gage M. Richardx, Machina, Michael L, and Kelvin Noodles. Inventors of the post-Parley, a group of peacekeepers who attempt one extra parlay after all the pre- and standard parlay have failed. So far they are zero out of 100 with preventing battles, but you gotta keep trying. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya Stasekwani, trust to the Traveler, Jury S. Dana G. Calum L. and Ryan. The Dragon Rose

bros a rowdy group of dudes and dudes that's who go nuts for the Dragon Rose. If they're not starting to fight in the parking lot, they're not doing it right. Jack L. Flawless Whale, Temporal, Sam L. Nicholas C. and Reese and S. Terragons' Dimple Contours. It takes a team, but it's worth it. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Colton B. Adam G. The Entrepreneurs who opened Jabari Safari, a thrilling theme park ride in which only a few people have died. Mateo, see, Nibagger, Panama James, Adrian, the Halfling Bard, disgraced Toads who defected as soon as the previously 70-year-old king showed up 25 years young and ready to go to war. Probably the right move. Dan, Nikki, W, Grace G, Drew, Nasty, and C.C. Lulu. The heroes who run Lake's doggy daycare, they keep offering to take Lake off Corbos' hands

when he goes to battle, but he keeps declining. Jay, Barnes & Ador, Douglas A, and Michelle O, the architects behind the sideless Flak-10. It's just sort of a circle, so there's hypothetically no side flap in which to infiltrate, but now, sneaky assassins just sort of jump from a tree onto the top, collapsing the whole tent, and trapping their victims in a bunch of tent fabric. Timmy R, Lucas B, Aaron S, and Kevin M, Wimers, Briners, an elite culinary squad that pickles a perfect cucumber of beet, absolutely essential for troop morale. Austin C. Hogfishes above average hog, New York, Steven C. KJ, and Michael M. The Mint

Assassins, known for killing their enemies and then stuffing their mouths with mint. Little do they know they've been framed for several crimes by Terragon. Raoul and Mike K, Maxwell C, and Nick L, the driest of dry toads. Not only were these foot soldiers dehydrated, but they haven't been properly moisturizing a nightmare. Here. Quarantine, Justin Raccoon, Nick W. and Michael C. The Wet Frogs. Unlike the Toads, these foot soldiers keep a steady stream of frost-gatorade flowing. Stay hydrated, everybody! Esmi M. Spartagnus, Nathan, Kazimir, the all-knowing and big, bad, bearded are the mad. The Prophet Gideon's ghost barbers, the only barbers with enough skill to cut spectral hair and tolerate his extreme micro-management over how to style his ghost undercut.

Jack, Meehaw, Eric M. Burley D. Axel A. Nero,ius Caesar Augustus Germannicus and Christian A. The guards who missed the hexbloods escaping the camp. They have a performance review with the provocation tomorrow, so they're looking at at least a pay cut if not a full beheading. J. Dragonborn, Cody B. The Sandrion, Ben A. Feldonis. The super powerful but shy dryads of the forest outside of Pearl Hill. They totally could have helped the hexbloods infiltrate the war camp if only they'd gotten the courage to introduce themselves. Dave H. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Keith K. and Brittany B. The first of Wimer's soldiers to start wearing their tabards one strapped style. Little did they know. They set a trend, currently synonymous with the people who are trying to murder their king.

The Timewalker. Emilio D. Frankie Koala. Big bad John. Aston S. and Blair, the bug-blair-barberian. Actual toads who feel like soldiers are not being treated fair. They eat well and are perfectly hydrated. Truly, Brythin is treating his soldiers more like lizards. Punk Chop, Channel M, Argent, Alice, Minette F, Pat L, Acuthe A, the Prophet Gideon's cavalry.

Feeling more than a little conflicted about following a guy with an evil ghost head into battle. And this is before they even seen what he eats for breakfast, which is three raw jackal oaps. Lauren H, Josh D, Janina E, Maddie Y, Alex H, the eldest Barry and Ryan S, Jabari's tattoo artists who are planning on extending his chest piece to the back. They've been working on a hellscape. So scary that Alx H actually screamed while they drew it.

The bone duster, Joshua H. Robert Cursp. Idrasil, Brent Lee C. Wimers guards who are obviously very on top of their shit. Idrasil actually decided to put extra guards on both side flaps. See, Wimers guards who are obviously very on top of their shit, address will actually decided to put extra guards on both side flaps. Good looking out everyone! Micah be, Carly Ann, Collard of the Thunder Fucks, Jorge C, and Connor Savage.

Soldiers who went in for a pre-parallel, it worked so well, they were taken aback to Wimers keep and given a feast, but they forgot to tell everyone else so the battle is still moving forward for all intention purposes. Russell H. Christopher J.O. Cole, the goldfish Gremlin, Logan S. and Dred pirate Jacobi's Roberts captain of the Adjantris. Lake Puppy family, lake has lived in unnaturally long dog life, so they've all passed on, but are having a blast, playing fetch with their deceased owners in a reverie. Leviathan, Demi A, Bioquart, Seven, Remington CD, Mike R, and Everett P P patrons of Terragons plant shop who all bought very very

fickle and rare plants and who constantly need to bring them back to the shop on the brink of death so that Terragon can perform emergency plant care on them. It's nice though. Terragon kind of loves it. K So Say, Lindsay W, Adam C, the ASMR, AsMR, and Carolyn C. A bunch of people that tried dog LSD from Tehrigon Shop and wouldn't you know it, it works a lot like regular LSD. Might even be one in the same. That's a good note to end it on. Thank you all so much for supporting us. We love you. Bye, sweeties. That was a HitGum Podcast.

us. We love you. Bye, Sweeties. That was a Hitgun podcast.