Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 15: Portrait of a Blade

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

The Third Mates travel down the river to Innerborough, where they happen upon a spooky scene. Henry gives himself an unfortunate haircut, Zirk shows his fangs, and Fia finally gets some answers. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Passage Way Ambience" by Dpoggioli at Freesound.org."Kenley" by Emily Axford."The Blade and the Smith" by Emily Axford."The Scales Reprise" by Emily Axford."Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford."Hospitable" by Emily Axford."Henry" by Emily Axford."Spare the Spritely" by Emily Axford."The Witch's Hut" by Emily Axford."A Friend For Life" by Emily Axford."Young Love" by Emily Axford."Montgomery Manor" by Emily Axford."The Pact" by Emily Axford."Two for Tea" by Emily Axford."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."A Memory" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm your dungeon master, Brimer, if you joined by Jake Herwits. Third mate with the hot plate, Hong Kong fish Hong Kong. Okay. Emily Axford. Via Bougignia, Leggy Sprig of a Witch and Bookfars favorite. Bitch Hong Kong bitches, Hong Kong, bitches. Hong Kong indeed. I did not understand what you're going for,

so I just thought I'd add some honks at the end to try to honor. Exactly what I was going for. OK, good, good, good. I played the game correctly. You can't go wrong. Just go home. I do something sustainable.

I can't come up with something each week A little bit of the old little bit of the new we've got you know various versions of honk But also adding in a rhyme and then we've got our returning Champion called all Tanner. Oh Hello. Hello Brian. It is an honor and a privilege. I'm of course, a Zirk Vervein, Artificer Alchemist. I'm so ready to play. Just one thing I do have an alias,

and that is of course, Zunk for Valk, Friend of Hunk, and Falk the Walkiest Bunk in Elder Monk. Oh my god, he has a whole lot of... Yeah, we've gone prop comedy. He has a rubber chicken. Only prop comedy podcast that you all listen to ever Holy shit. He's hitting a he's hitting a watermelon with the hammer. You have a guy leaping child and he has a fucking horn

That's that's so much. I love you guys. I'm willing to risk it good God wow back with a prank back with a prank classic it. Good God. Wow. Back with a prank. Back with a prank classic. So guys, we're going to go ahead and we'll do a little recap, but as part of this recap, we'll kind of also talk about kind of overview and important things to know about the third mates as it pertains to their adventure, not necessarily the hex buds, because they're off doing their other thing. And exactly the the hell are the little people? The hell are the little people? You guys don't know the people. That sounds cool.

So we will be catching up with our three heroes, the Chuchu crew, aka the third mates, as they head south down the Queen's River out of Thorn Kirk, which is a small town in Outerboro. They're heading towards the scale tip valley of Innerboro. Amongst them is Fia Boginia, a gangly girl child, and the one time apprentice of Batilda the Blade Witch, a hunter of horrors. Fia was saved by Batilda when she was set to be executed in her hometown after switching places with her friend Irina. And an ately magical person who first brought

Fias familiar bookvar to life. Fias spent the next several years living with Batilda until she left on mysterious business eight years ago never to return. Henry Hogfish is a down on his luck divorcee who's been picked out of the capital for snitching. He more say sounds expensive. I wish.

He doesn't have a lot of money left. I could have taken all, I could have taken half what she had. I mean, yes, getting divorced is expensive. It's true. There's a lot of legal. Sounds like you can speak many languages and have lots of opinion about why. I tell you what, it takes an emotional toll and that's about it. He's paid the price on that He was separated from his son after his ex-wife remarried and he's been attacked by deranged

Reaper zealots his shadow shank seems to have a mind of his own Usually following Henry's orders, but occasionally turning into an old man trying to help him break a curse that is apparently Followed Hank through several lifetimes. Then of course, we've got Zirk Vervein, a novice alchemist, once the assistant of his swindling snake oil salesman mother, after being chased out of town during a particularly unpopular pitch of the Vervein-all-cure elAlexer, Zirk headed off on his own and became a coroner under the tutelage of Dr. Aloysius Nebel in Thorncirk, and it was through Nebel that our third mate's Aka-Archoo Chukru was able to meet. Our heroes met on the night that this Dr. Nebel was killed by a mysterious horror later

discovered to be a man named the prophet Cain. They found a book of Nebels in the aftermath of the attack called the Guardian. It really sounds like what the plural of Nebels would be. If you have one Nebel, it's a Nebel. If you have six Nebels, it's a book of Nebels. Oh, they're all over the floor. There's a whole book of them.

There's a whole book of Nebels got into the kitchen, huh? They're all over the floor. There's a whole book of them. There's a whole book of Neville's got into the kitchen, huh? They're chewing on the cords. So this is actually just one Neville and just one book, not a book of Neville's, but Neville's book. Thank you. Okay, for Clevver's book that you found was called the Guardians of the Grove, through which the third mates were able to learn that Neville had been a smith,

also known as like an arcane scholar of the trickster, who teaches a blade like Batilda, how to haunt horrors and protect magic. Through a series of investigations, gathering information from the Sib, the Rogue, crime boss, Madame Whitlock, and Petty Jack of the Bedfellow's Gang, you learned that the guardians of the Grove were being hunted. The Petty King of Outerboro, Thurston Brightleop, had recently come under the influence of Reaper Sorceress, who used the Crown's resources to enlist

former influential gang members like Petty Jack to use their contacts to help with the hunt. Dr. Nebel, who you found out is real name, is Arthur Penley, was killed by the prophet Cain through this system after Madame Whitlock recognized his information through the bed fellow's criminal network and sold him out to the crown. So it seemed like the guardians were all but finished

with Penley dead, with Batilda missing, but there is still a flicker of hope. Penley was going to meet someone. If you'll remember from the first episode, Zirk, he was leaving in very mysterious circumstances, very much like the way Batilda left, just had urgent business and left town at the drop of a hat. Yeah, he only took three pieces of rolling luggage with him,

which is pretty slim for him. Yeah, wow. And a notorious overpacker, Penley went with just a few bags, like he's packing for a book. So he was going to meet someone in Innerboro before he was killed. You don't know who that is, but you can assume they'd be pretty important. And you did obtain their meeting point from Madam Whitlock. That was after you did the favor for her, getting rid of the Broken Heart Banching. Oh, I have her a pedestal. And you do have her pedestal.

So using Sib's Riverboat, well, really, I guess, Soastians Riverboat. But it was given to us by Sib, and that's who we appreciate. Soastians Riverboat giving to you by Sib, and that's who we appreciate. So, Ashton's Riverboat giving to you by Sib, you guys have made your way out of Thorn Kirk through a network of rivers heading west before finally heading south and into the scale tip valley.

So we are going to do a slight time jump. It is going to take you guys about five days on the river to reach where you want to be in Innerboro. Thorn Kirk is out kind of in the boonies of outer borough and there's no kind of direct path to get you from Thorn Kirk to the scale tip valley. You have to follow a route that goes along and it has like different stops through this man-made river network up here. What do you guys do over your five days on the river? Why don't we start with the simplest because he probably has the least that he

would be able to prep. Why don't we start with Henry? Hank, what are you doing over this five days? Yeah, I don't have any spells or elixirs to prep, but I guess the the first thing I notice is that you, the give of the deck, the absence of the unforgiving terrain of solid ground, Henry's low back starts to feel a little bit better. So he kind of believes, you know, maybe I'm meant to be out here on the water. And the other thing, I think he's just gonna kind of practice shooting out and bringing back in his Henry's bone claws. And with these claws, he's gonna attempt to give himself a new haircut. Oh god.

If you, okay, Hank, if you give yourself bangs, then you are officially bottoming out. Okay, Henry, I could have done this for you in your sleep like I did for you. I've always cut my own hair. It's fun. I know I have built-in scissors, so. Hank, go ahead and give me a slate of hand check with disadvantage. Disadvantage, because you're cutting your own hair.

Because the boat's rocking. And the boat's rocking and you're using a horse. Can we say that I'm nervously holding a mirror in front of him? Hold it steady. I was clinging to the floor being like you can't trust the floor on his boat First clapping in the wind. Um, please sir. Let's someone else do it anyone don't flap so close by the hair has to lay flat Okay, oh fuck hands are shaking so much that is I rolled a five. Let's see if I had anything to slide a hand

Oh, I do I too, so that's a seven. That's a seven. That's a seven. Hank has given himself bangs. No. No. He kind of has, I think like before his hair was like growing out a little long, probably had,

started to look cool. Yeah, he was starting to look kind of cool. And then he went and kind of gave himself bangs. So he has like a little bit of like a bowl cut now. It's a little bit longer on the side. Can we fan them out to the side a bit, make them sort of like 70s curtain bangs maybe? Yeah, that's kind of the cool.

I think Sir Middle Park is so bad and doesn't want to be the only one on the boat without bangs. So he lets his hair down and also gives himself bangs. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. These are the stamen. We're the bangers. The bang bar is coming. I do tensors floating disc and we'll all round

and ask the bang barge. Bang, bang, baby. Book barge just goes, I don't like that name, miss. I trim his little bookmark so it looks like little bangs. No! I don't want bangs,. Yeah, I think mine are too long I think I have adult bangs. They're covering my eyes. Sweet so the whole crew cuts bangs for themselves as they go down this river They look like they're all escaping a terrible breakup on the river Breaking up with Thorncurt and one of us is Sirk, what are you preparing over the five days?

I think first and foremost, Zirk is really worried about Spritel. He saw what happened to the other Sprites that encountered the Prophet Cain. So he wants to try and beef up protection around Spritel. So what I'm going to do is, I imagine there's like a hanging lantern sort of thing or some sort of like light device on this boat.

Yeah, certainly. Cool. I grab that and I fashion it into kind of a carapace for sprydals to live in. And then I also like curve some rot iron at the bottom. So essentially, I build a mechanical little house for Spritele that looks like a steel octopus for him to live in. And this will function essentially as Zerks' homonkillus, which is one of my alchemist abilities. Sweet. Zerks, I'll say. So this is one of your abilities. I will say go

ahead and do like a tinkerers tools. Check just to see how kind of janky this armor looks whether or not this looks Good or bad. We'll kind of depend on how you do here or if it looks like my bangs, but you can always fix it up Yeah, the bangs don't look great great That's a 16 a 16 okay. Yeah, it looks pretty good I'll say even as you guys are traveling down the river there are different Riverside towns and villages where you guys are able to stop and load up on supplies and food and occasionally rest for the night

in these little port towns. So you're able to get scrap metal there, you're able to get little parts that you need. And you see very quickly, you're able to put together this little suit of armor for Spritele that you wanted to kind of look like octopus like with like little, you know how like a lantern has those kind of like

rot iron curling bits at the bottom of it? I kind of wanted to look like a floating lantern but with like rot iron legs. Rad, sweet. So yeah, almost looks like a teeny little like steampunk UFO. Yeah. So Zirk, as you start to work on this,

this is more than just mechanical ability. There is an element of magic to it. You're kind of almost like a wizard who needs a lot of components. And you've seen your mom do stuff like this, like build small automaton, so this is not completely out of left field for you. So you make your humunculus and you're able to even create like a little speaker and normally

sprites can kind of only express themselves with very simple emotions but Sprydall has been developing since they bonded with you and you see that once they've combined with your humunculus and you've got this little floating carapace with Spritell glowing inside they begin to talk. Papa! It is good to be able to talk to you. Spritell, is that you? Oh, my little friend, get over here. I hug it and then the sharp edges of the carapace just cut right into my skin.

Oh yeah! I will cut your bangs next time. Pop up. I'd really like that. You made a head dresser and a kid. You turned a bridle into a hair dresser and a kid. Why didn't you say anything before? It's just really good work, sir. I'm impressed. I didn't know that bridle had this capability. We've only just scratched the surface of what they're capable of. Isn't that right? Here, catch this frisbee! Psh! It is too far away! My carapace is heavy!

We'll work on it! One day, papa! See, but for some said they didn't play catch I know but Sprite all clearly is game for it. I just say Yes, Bridal was like someday, you know, he didn't write it off somehow you see book far looks jealous of Sprite all All right, we don't need any of that all right you two make a process pages hold me back I have a little present for you book far, but I can't give it to you yet, okay? Zirk, is there anything else you would like to have done over these five days?

If Henry's okay with it, I would love to maybe take some samples from him and kind of try to work out what's going on with this curse. Sweet. Henry, as you know, I poured my heart out to you guys within like 15 minutes of being on this boat So I'm an open book cool. I'm so I have only like 10 to 15 vials If you could just fill those with any fluids that you are capable of relieving from your body Just fill those right up and I'll get to it. So any fluid any fluid Just any fluid will do even to the common a vial

I'm sorry. I just feel like there's a subtext. No, I'm saying it come in the vile If you want to come in the vile you can come in the vile I'm not gonna make it goes. I don't maybe some of the shadow stuff pop up. Maybe not necessarily come Gosh, it's just I'm so proud of you. It's just here and you speak really warm for my heart But yes do come in the vile. I owe, all right. If you feel inspired, of course. Yeah, Henry goes to the head on the ship

and comes back 15 minutes later, carrying a bunch of viles of what is clearly his tears. LAUGHTER He's got these good because we were passing a town anyways and there was a children's day celebration So I'm glad that you can tell Well I come up and I say here you go plenty of come There's mates were back Well a week a week sauce from this one

a week's hours from this one. Thank you. You're welcome. With lots of battles. Cheers. Go ahead, Zurich, and give me, give me an Arcona check. Another 16. A 16. I'm going to say it's going to be at least a DC-20 to start making headway on what's going

on. You can't really make heads or tails with what's going on. You can't really make heads or tails with what's going on with Hank right now. I'll say with a 16, you know for sure that cum would not help. You never need to ask him for that again. Zirk, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If you really need cum, I can,

we don't need it. Papa, we don't need it. No, Sprite was right. The otheros is stick, I'm trying to, it's friedled, need it. No, Sprite is right. Fia throws a stick to try it. Sprite will chase it. I will say that you should work. I don't know what your diet is, but there's a lot of sailing in your come. So just maybe be concerned about that.

But Sprite is right. We do not need that. But we're going to keep working on it. Thank you so much, Henry. We're going to figure this out. And then F much, Henry. We're gonna figure this out. And then, Fia, what would you like to do with your five days? I think Fia is definitely, she doesn't necessarily grasp

the transient nature of this boat. So she's decorating it a little bit already, like the train. She's got maybe made like a little beaded curtain of like sea slugs from the riverbed. Awesome. You know, hung some river kelp around. I think she's also during the day, she's like going swimming a bit because she's not much of an ocean person, but here in Henry talk about it, she really wants to become an ocean

person and also she's like heard about dragons that live at the bottom of the sea or the lake and she's like if I ever want to meet one I have to learn how to swim. So maybe she takes like a swimming lesson with Henry if he's feeling. Oh yeah you've got you've got a really powerful stroke you're you're a natural and my god you can hold your breath for like it seems like a really long time. She's trying to be like, yes, the same way. She's trying to be like, she's a really weak swimmer. She's just being brave, sir. Henry dives in. Yeah.

It's bridal, throw him a lifesaver. The water, it reclaims me, the dragon at the bottom. She wants me. She just sunk to the bottom like a stone. Wow, you really want to explore the depth Very nice water search. Just jump sin and sticks to the bottom. It walks around. It's not I thought swimming was like walking but under You want to be your stage yourself at the top you want to tread and that's where you're staged

The ceiling when you swim yes, you walk on the ceiling and you dive to the bottom every once in a while and Yeah, it's okay to come back when you need a breath You know you don't have to see like walk on the ceiling Repeats this to yourself as she goes as she dives in and sinks again I go ahead of you at lettics check for you I and you can do it with advantage because Henry's helping you goes as she dives in and sinks again. Go ahead and give it. Athletics check, Fiya. And you can do it with advantage, because Henry's helping you. Does she have, like, led in her pocket?

What's going on? I've never seen such a gift before. Of course I know, that witch that would be very bad for my magic. OK, 16. 16, my life's never got to see. Yeah, so you guys are all making good headway on your various little hobbies here

and trying to improve yourselves. And then of course the most important thing that I'm doing at night is it is time to start learning some new spells. I have already flipped through, of course I also, when I'm decorating, I think I've accumulated up to six books at this point. So I make a small library in the boat. I have learned a couple of spells. I picked up a new spell from the autobiography of Miroslav and Mesmer.

And I would like to approach Philip to try to learn a couple more spells. That's great. You're going to open Philip and you immediately feel him fighting you and going like, I don't want a freaking study. I want to look at the river. Okay what have you look at the river and I study get over there I need to spell from you. You start wrestling fill up to try to get in

I'm going ahead and give you to intelligence saving throw as you try to read fill up while he yells and I can do this five times right for five for five days yes the way we're handling, feel learning new spells. So she's got this powerful spell book, fill up that she needs to essentially wrangle and do intelligence checks. It is 10 plus the spells level to learn a new spell. That's gonna be a four, which is gonna only be an eight.

However, can I chronal shift to this? You can, oh my God. Yes, you can chronal shift each day. Ooh, fucking smart. I still didn't fucking get it. Okay, you try to, what is the first spell that you're trying to learn? Misty step. You're trying to learn Misty step. Okay, so that's the second level spell. So you get a smote.

Smitten for two T8s of arcane damage. Nine damage, you see as Fiya is trying to like, you see all this magic swirling around Fiya as she's trying to read this thing, while also hearing her book just yell about wanting to look at the bubbles. I wanna see it, I wanna see the white water. Okay, what the hell up, what the fuck?

And you see just an explosion of arcane energy around Fiya as she takes nine damage Fiya you have not learned the spell yet go ahead and roll go ahead and roll for your second day Dude Fiya, I feel like we could go to like a public library and find some books that don't do this I have all the best spells though. You can't read another book. Okay this time I got a 15 You successfully learn the first spell. You wrangle, fella. It helps to approach him after lunch. We...

I'm not going to go to Miroslav the Mesmer and try and learn a spell. Go ahead and give me another intelligence check. Third one. This is such a fun system. 17, baby. 17. You learn your next spell.

What is your next spell? Fortune's favor. Okay, sweet. That is three. three on the fourth night go ahead and give me another role Is are you doing from your slav the mesmer or from Philip? Yeah, I'm doing that one Fortunes favors from philip okay good. Okay, okay I'll have all of my sort of like enchanting vans are from him okay, and mirrors mirrors love does essentially what like the What recipe blogs do but about teaching spells so Mirzlov just super self-indulgent Talking about his adventures Talking about how he acquired a certain book for his library. Wow. He's got three hungry sons. That's strange

I'd almost rather get wrestled by the other book Okay, I will take a I got got a 14, does that do anything? A 14 does do it, it's 10 plus a spell level, so you learn another one. When my three hungry sons, hungry for magic that is, wanted to learn how to cast, what spell are you learning? Suggestion. Okay, great, nice. Okay, one more, one more.

One last one. You know what, I really want to take this stupid one. one. You know what, I really wanna take this stupid one. Come on. Oh, I really wanna take this stupid one. Please give this to me. Give this to me. Yes, baby. It's gonna be 17.

I'm taking wrist pocket bitch. What is that? I don't know what that is. You know what, you'll find out when I do it. I'll tell you off text called well, but I'm, it's stupid. Yeah, text the private thread. So, Fiya, you have a bunch of productive days of studying as you guys head down the river.

As you guys are traveling also, spending a few days going down the river and stopping places along the way, you hear kind of the big points of gossip is that the petty king Thurston Brightleap has been killed. There was a massive undead attack perpetrated by him in a town called Pearl Hill, and the empire responded by blowing up his castle. There's a lot of unrest brewing in Outer Bro, and a lot of people are trying to kind of theorize

as to who the next petty king is going to be. But an heir has not been named. And right now the empire is attempting to kind of stabilize Heronford. Is that an inner burrow or outer burrow? That's outer burrow. So we see it as we go by. No, you guys do not go near Heronford.

Heronford's outer burrows the size of Texas. It's just in a different area. It's not here. We just pick up a copy of the Outer Brogazette and we use that article about this unrest. Yeah, thank God we're not there. I wouldn't want to touch that. Yeah, it sounds really sweaty.

So as you guys leave Outer Bro and cross the border from Outer Bro into inner burrow, you notice the slow transition into natural death, gray mountains, dead trees, and wind howling through the mountains. There is a main route through the scale tip valley here that's kind of a very wide river. That's probably how you got up here, just taking like a fairy boat through this main river, Henry,

and probably also Fiya, because Fiya, you are from the scale tip valley. You are from Innerbaro. So this, like all these like dead trees and stuff, this is like my childhood. Very reminiscent of like the mountain village that you came from. Wow, nostalgia. These dead trees are making me feel nostalgia.

Yeah, they're beautiful. Ah, the absence of leaves. Yeah, nothing says home like the absence of leaves. Say it again, Bupa. No, the trees have faces. It's weird. They're scrawling at us. Yes, if you decal them under the branch, they laugh though. Good to know. I will not try that. That was just a game we played Miss the sad sad game.

See, you guys do at some point have to diverge from the kind of main route and go through like a different mountain pass To get to the place where Nebel was heading. Henry, you are kind of main route and go through like a different mountain pass to get to the place where Nebel was heading. Henry, you are kind of even though you're all third mates, you are kind of captaining the ship here. I'm like the navigation mate, but everybody is a different mate of a different thing. I do have an atlas that can help us if you need. I think assuming it did not wander off. It has tried to leave a couple times, but you've always been able to wrangle it back. You guys start traveling through this mountain pass

towards the coordinates that you found where Nebo was heading, and you no longer see other boats, the wind howls through the valley. It is night, and the sky is devoid of sprites here. And you remember this from your childhood, there were never very many sprites around Fiam. This area is not pretty or fun and the people don't want them here so the sprites kind of don't exist here. I put a little cloak on spritle. Yeah. I think it's good to be a mysterious figure I think. Papa, where are all my friends? Papa, oh, they've went to visit their families for the holidays.

You know how it is, reaping season and all. Right, so no. Just put on this big cowboy hat, huh? How about you, buddy? That sounds fun. Papa, start shouting down. Henry, how is a boat in different in a river than the ocean? You know, in the ocean, you kind of rely on the stars and the sun for navigation and in the river you just

rely on not hitting the sides The current yeah Yeah, yeah, the trick is to not run the boat onto the sides. That's so far so good Yeah book our book for our pipes up. I was wondering why we weren't hitting the sides, sir. Yeah, now we know. Every once in a while I give the wheel just a nudge this way and if it gets too close to that side, I nudge it the other way. It's complicated. It's complicated. That's why I haven't been sleeping a lot because someone's got a nudge. You need us to nudge. Just let us know. We'll nudge for you. I don't know

if anyone else could do it. But I'll keep do it. I'm sorry, these sounds like a burden. So eventually you guys come out of a set of mountains and find a rare plot of flat land that matches up to the coordinates where Dr. Nebel was set to be dropped off. This looks like a strategic meeting place, specifically for whoever he was meeting It's very vulnerable for whoever showing up here. There are mountains all around so it would be easy for people to spot you from the high ground here And kind of make sure they're not being ambushed or something like that like make sure You know nibbles not secretly a profit and showing up with a bunch of people to like kill this person Okay, so this is an area that is like checking out any boats coming through.

Yes, so guys, go ahead and give me perception checks as you approach your location, your desired location, and park your boat. I believe I can use bookfar for a perception check, right, because he can fly up around. Yeah, oh nice, I did bad, I got an eight. That's an 18 for Zirt. Sweet. They said 21 for Fiya and bookfar. Great oh nice. I did bad. I got an eight. That's an 18 for Zerk. Sweet.

They said 21 for Fiehnburg. Great. Nice. Henry, you are concentrating really hard on parking the boat, going against everything about river boating, which is, you know, to not hit the sides, but in order to park, you kind of have to hit the sides. You got it. Yeah. Just the greatest aside. Easily not hard to do. Everything you got it. Yeah, the braze aside Easily you thought everything you said Everything you thought you knew about river boats Rule

The exception that proves the rule we must touch the side No, I want to be here. I want to smash into the rocks. It will be interesting. Papa. You so brave my friend So you guys, yeah, park the boat. Zirk and Fiya, you guys notice the remains of a campfire near here, and some slightly disturbed land in the dirt. No supplies left behind or anything. There's just some rocks and some kindling, as well as ash.

And when you go to touch it it's cold and it seems like this hasn't been used for a few days and with a perception check above a 20 book far and fia you guys see a single sprite in the distance that it on first look looks like a star but you quickly realize this is some sort of fade being. It's in the distance hanging over the peak of a nearby cliff. Question.

Yeah. How far behind schedule are we for Nebels meeting? Are we like arriving at the point where Nebels should have been arriving or is this after us? You guys are way after. Okay, cool. All right, Shelby, go hiking. What do you think? It feels like a trap. I will put this out there But I feel like if there is a trap, I kind of want to know more about it anyway, so yeah

Yeah, I want to see like what sort of you know spring loading mechanism they're using for the trap We'll have to trigger the trap. Okay, let's trigger the trap Here's a question. Since we are representing the Guardians of the Grove, should we keep that under wraps, or should we maybe try and put up some sort of like sigil or rune to let them know that we're friendlies? I don't know, what do you all think? I think because when I lived with Batilda, I didn't even know she was a guardian of the Grove.

So it seemed like something she did not wear on her sleeve. Okay, so we'll put a jacket over it. Smart. I think we put a jacket over it. Especially the last guy got killed, I think, for being it. Just in case the wrong guys are keeping a lookout. Ah, yes, my old papa. Now I know sadness. Welcome welcome to the club buddy. Before we go though I

will cast gift of a lacquer tea on each of my friends. What does that do again? It gives you a D8 to initiative roles. So, Fiya you you cast this blessing on your fellow party members. And you guys climb up through the rocky hills. It is a dangerous hike. You hear the sounds of boots hitting the dirt, pebbles falling, wind howling, and distant rumbling as rocks crash far away. And finally, when you guys reach the top of the hill,

where you could see the sprite before, you see the sprite, you don't see it fly away, you just see it kind of disappears as you get closer, but you finally get to where the sprite was, and you see from this vantage point, you are now able to spot a manor in the near distance. There's no sign of it at all from the river. It is tucked away back here, but it is unmistakably a humanoid dwelling built into

the face of a mountain. It looks like the rock under it was shaped to hold it. It's this two-story manner that sits on a ledge. You see the manner is built of dark brick. There is a balcony at the front face of the house in front of a large window where the railing is bent and broken. That's kind of the only signs it has of being like destroyed at all. The windows are all dark, but it's otherwise in decent shape. It just looks kind of weathered an old one, very spooky thing about it though, is you hear the sound of the door, which seems to have been knocked off its hinges.

It's banging in and out with the wind and reverberating through the mountains, letting out kind of like a knocking echo. Again, this is making me feel nostalgic for my childhood. This feels you with like a happy feeling, not a sense of dread. Yes, yes. This is a door of its hinges, yes, of course. This is warm to you. This is inviting, yes?

Absolutely, yes. What is a home if it doesn't have a door off its hinges that's lumely shakes in the wind? Get trees in the front yard and a door that is clinging to its hinges. I did see that cross stitch in your train, yeah. Which was really cozy and had a nice door. I don't know.

Yeah, you know. So maybe. You know, it's a magical train. So I keep trying to break the door and it keeps me busy. Really. I have no idea. Oh my God.

Very advanced. It changes so much. Man, I've been fixing the door. I've been fixing the door, miss. What? BookVar betrayal. And do, okay. Can I cast, can I ritual cast detect magic as we like walk towards it?

Yes, there's like a little valley, and then there's like a little natural walkway that takes you up to the ledge where the manor sits. Fiya, as you ritual cast detect magic, you do detect magic in this place, but you detect more of it coming from beneath the house. Hmm. There is a basement. Does it? Do I get a sense of the type of magic? Let me see if I think detect magic just says like is there magic. I think it tells you this school, right? You get the hints of all different kinds of magic, abduration, transmutation, divination, enchantment, illusion, all coming from beneath the manner, and you get a hint of necromancy coming from the manner itself.

Okay. There is a magical medley in the basement, but there is a deadly appetizer in the house and you got all that just by licking the door mat You know a magic spell needs a ritual and leaking it. Dormat is a ritual I'm not gonna question very methodical So it sounds like it's a basement party. That's kind of the place where we want to be. Yes I think that maybe we should try to sneak to the windows. What do you think? Oh, yeah, let's definitely peek in before we enter in any way. Sometimes there are basement windows, so we can see if there's any of those.

So there is no... So the area that you're sensing all of this mixed magic from is coming from like in the rock. So it looks like there needs to be some like secret way to get in there or something. There's no basement, there are no windows. The first floor has one window on like the left side, but then it has the balcony and a big window

on the second floor. Tell me how you guys handle our approach. Fia, would it be disrespectful for us to try to mend the door? I don't know if this house is sentient, that seems like a crazy thing to say, but I don't know, we've seen some wild stuff. Like would it help us if we tried to mend the door? Absolutely, absolutely, Zerk.

Okay. Zerk pulls out a magical screwdriver and goes to town on the door, trying to fix it. Sweet. Zerk, you cast Mending and the haunting sounds of the howling wind, hitting the knocking door, just turns into the haunting sounds of the howling wind. All right, so we've eliminated one of the creepiest things about the house. It's honestly like the wind alone is kind of scarier, right?

If you really listen it sounds like it's saying thank you. I don't know I missed the drumming of the door. Maybe it feels right. There's something called for me. Can I catch the manning to man it back to where it should be? You break the door. There it is. I make a big deal like I'm casting Mending and then I just take it in. Okay, reach craft. Everybody's that back. He just opened it out the wrong way. Philip, absolutely nothing. You have metal on your boots. That's why you sink. Okay, then. Can we go peek into the windows? Yeah, go ahead and give me a perception check

if you're just doing the window on the left side here. Oh, I just cracked, baby. You caught it. Hey, left it is. I'm not 20. Fiya, you peek in the window here. I think I go from bottom up. So it's just my eyes.

As you look into this room, you see, it looks to be a dining room with a chandelier at the center hanging over this long wooden table with padded seats lining both sides and at the heads. You see that there are paintings in here. You can't quite make out what the paintings are of, but you do see a body on the floor, not moving. With my crit, can I tell tell it is not dead though.

Like is that better than the Chrotic Energy was coming from? I will say with your crit that is not where the Necrotic Energy is coming from but the Necrotic Energy is coming from that room. And I will say with your crit you see that this person has a grievous neck wound. They also have a shattered class vile near them. Um, do I just one more question? Do I see any sort of like markings of like gardens of the grove symbol or any other symbol that would be associated with something? So I could say, oh, is this person on my side or they hate me? I will say

with a nat 20, you see that the paintings on the wall, you can see one of them from where you are. You see like a lush green landscape with images of like fairies and satyrs and centaurs. Okay, I turn back to Zerkin Henry and say, I'm really sorry, but there's someone hurt in there and so we're just gonna have to go in through the window and I kicked the window.

The door was open, the door was flattened. The door was broken. I couldn't use it. It was, you could use it and not use it all at the same time. Yeah, you kick in the window. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Yeah, your DA. 12 is my total. 18. 14. Okay. 12 is my total. 18. 14. Okay.

Fiya, you see with your nat 20, as you kick in this window, you see a vampire spawn with red glowing eyes, blue hair and like pale blue gray skin, was hiding under that table. You see, reacts with a start, like almost like a scared bug, like drops down and begins scrambling to move.

You see she's in ragged clothes. You see she has the looks of like abandoned, like kind of like patchwork clothes and things like that of like somebody who's like stolen armor and things like that. But she is a vampire and not an advanced one, just like red glowing eyes, just, tssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I didn't mean to startle you, but what is your name? My name is Fia Bogginia. I'm a witch Witch blood I desire which Okay, this is gonna be like that. I actually really like you because you seem sweet because you made your own clothing So I am going to just like really don't want to hurt her. She doesn't seem good I really don't want to hurt her. She doesn't seem good. Really?

But she makes her own clothing. She has cool clothes, but that's about it, I think. I think she stole those clothes from someone else who's talented. You are sure of this? I sure did. I sure did. This fashion designer. She could have got to these on the grievous-

She could have got to these on the grievous- I'm the- Whoever she gave this grievous neck won't do. She very clearly killed this other person that was in there. Okay, I am so sorry you're clothing but I'll never see the wrong way, but I must prevent this. And then I will green flame blade. I'm not going to use any fancy spells,

just going to try to go at you. Does a 16 hit? A 16 does hit. I will say, fun peek behind the screen. I expected this to be like a fun thing where this spawn like pursued you through the manner. And instead of just like taking the window when it's back. So funny.

Yeah, 16 hits. Yeah, Fiya, you kick in the window. You hesitate for a second. But as this vampire lunges towards you, you pull out the crescent blade of Batilda, light screen with green flame blade. Go ahead and do your damage. That's seven fire damage and then I will use a bonus action to warp, warp-reast. Does a 14 heat? 14 does not hit. Okay, this was because I got distracted by your seamstress.

Swing back around, um grabs your wrist and just goes, which blood? Which blood? Trying to just squeeze you. She's trying to pop you miss. Okay, now I feel like you are trying to take my moisture. Sirk, that is your turn. Can I do a perception check to see if the person on the ground is alive, now that I'm in the room?

He's so dead. So dead. So lovely, dead. Yeah, he's like, is he wearing a patchwork, like patchwork clothes? Like do we feel like she stole the design from me? It was like a gap gift card or like maybe it has been to like J. Crew recently,

like a receipt maybe to wear like a gift dress been to like j crew recently like a receipt maybe Oh, no, is this a rival fashion designers? Um, it they both look really good But you can assume that they they kind of have kind of like petty jacks crew that all had kind of like mismatched armor like it almost looks like they've collected it along the way, like they're not actual soldiers or something. These guys look like that, but with like leather armor and cloaks and stuff. Oh, this is cool too, sheet. I'm going to, without my pipe, get some of Fias tobacco,

infuse it with a little magic, and then create like a big cloud of fairy fire in here. Actually, you know what? I'll get, I'll get Sprdle to be my ultra boy, and I'll have him carry the incense around and spread the fairy fire. We shall spread the fairy fire pop up. Plants around makes a, I'll say there's like a mist coming out from Sprydle as he floats around the room.

And you see this vampire spawn lights up and you guys now have advantage on attacks. Zurk, is there anything else you want to do with your turn? Yeah, actually, you know what, I'll use my bonus action to tell Spritele to also go ahead and take a swipe at this vampire spawn. That's a nat 20 for Spritele. Oh, yeah. This is what happens, book fodder, when you play F play fed a massive 2d4 for my metal child yet sounds chunky It sounds pointy. Oh, it sounds good and pointy That is five damage to the vampire's

Child my metal child I will ram myself into a vampire paparra my sweet iron spawn do me proud Hank that is your turn. Oh, first of all, Zirk, I'm really proud of you for embracing this dead thing. I can tell you it's a joy to be a father. It just feels natural, I don't know what you're saying. Yeah, but you're good at this. I feel like you have such a good touch with the child. Starting to feel like I could learn from you.

All right, so to prove a point to Fiya, I'm going to, I'm going to bonus action, summon Shank, point to the door. Hey, it's been, so to prove a point to Fia, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bonus action summon shank, uh, point to the door. Hey, it's been, it's been a while after you could see a shank. Yeah, all right. Yeah, you don't know time. You're on the river. You don't call me one time. I was gonna, that town, that river town, when we got the fish and chips, I was thinking about summoning you, but that was, I was watching, yeah, I saw it.

Yeah, this is too good, you know. Yeah, this is good good, you know, yeah I like this drama all right now. I'm here now you got me find some fucking weird ass vampire all right Yeah, shank we're gonna go give her some bangs check this out And I'll release my claws and I'll take my attack shout out to the two crew, but we had advantage, so that is 21. Super hits. That's 12 damage. 12 damage, nice.

And then I will move out of the way and let Shank have a swipe. Shank rolled two-three, so God, I should've been feeding you. Fuck, man. I need fat, I need carbohydrates. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to be a better dad I want to be like sir Is it okay if we kind of enjoy this interpersonal drama a little bit? Oh, yeah, eat it up sure two on it I did you dirty buddy, and I'm sorry

Well, this is happening. I'm feeding sprytle little I don't know fairy bits Sprytle goes papa being around uncle Henry makes me sad Zark give me a fairy bit. I got a feed shank a little fairy bit. I don't think shanks gonna like it It's it's fey in nature. It's just like it's cornflakes that I enchanted as you guys are talking about cornflakes his vampire tries to bite via Oh, no, what First is going to make a claw tack are talking about Corn Flakes his vampire tries to bite Fia. Oh no! What? First is going to make a claw attack. That is going to be a 22 to hit.

What? Instead of doing damage, is going to grapple you. You see, she manages to grab Fia, and then is going to go for a bite. You need me to be a model on your runway. I'm not a faster designer! You sizing me to be a model on your runway. Whoa. I'm not a fashion designer. You sizing me up for one of your original dresses. Okay, fine, I'll do it.

I am a tall, leggy sprick of a woman. Gotta go ahead and make a bite attack. She's sample size. Another, wow. Today's all about 16s rolled in natural 16s, so that's a 22 to head. You know what, I'm going to have to do this. Chrono shift the bite.

Yes. Whoa. Okay. I'm what, I'm going to have to do this. Chrono shift the bite. Yes. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I always try to save it, but I can't do this. That is only a 12 on that one. So you see, for a brief moment, you guys on the outside, it looks like she connects with Fia's neck

and is like about to bite down on her. And you see Fia naturally shifts, like almost like she saw the move coming and is able to get out of the way. Uh-oh. That is Becca. What if these didn't happen? Yeah.

Fia, that's your turn. Okay. I will attack her. If I'm grappled by her, do I have disadvantage? Grapple doesn't do anything that restrained his bad. So I still get to roll with advantage. Yeah. I rolled two threes also.

Rude, holy shit. Yeah, you are just wrestling. She's got hands on your wrist as you try to swing back around. Hey, Shank, we have more than come in than I thought. I will bonus action war priest though. Great. That is going to hit. Great. Hands off her sensible top. Which top? Which top? Thank you. I like to be a bitch. So this is good for me. That is 11 damage. Sweet. Cirque, that is your turn. I pull out a fishing pole. I took from the boat, and you see at the tip of it

is a little glass lure with a spark of electricity in it. And I fling the fishing pole over at the spawn, and I'm going to try and use lightning lure to pull it away from Fia. You should really leave those on the road, buddy. I thought maybe we'd find a pawn. What is lightning, Lord? It is a new cantrip from Tasha.

You strike a creature you can see within 15 feet. Target must succeed on a strength saving throw or be pulled up to 10 feet in a straight line and take one to eight lightning damage if within five feet of me. Okay. That is only an eight. So you're able to get your hook in, lightning hook. You see, pulls her back. I'm gonna say, Fiya, go ahead and make a strength saving

throw as well. Okay. Fuck, fuck, sorry, Fiya. Okay, that's an eight. Okay, I rolled another three, three, three. She successfully hangs onto you, but she is pulled back by the force of Zerks lightning spell. Zerks go ahead and do your damage. You're able to pull her close to you. Woo, that's eight damage. Eight damage. And now she is within five feet of me. Great, and I guess so is Fia. Yeah, he is there too.

Hi! Hi! Okay, can Sprite Attack as well? Yes. That is nine, I think it's a mess. Nine misses. Cool. Perfectly timed attack, pappa!

You attack, and I attack at the same time, and then just punches the air as the vampire spawn is pulled back. Oh no! Oh no! Just right through that painting, Sprydl, you gotta be careful. I am just like Uncle Shank and Uncle Henry. And Uncle Fia! Uncle Fia also missed.

That is... Mrs. who just crits, that didn't happen yet. Henry's trying. I've got to internalize that thought, sir. Okay, from this vantage point, the stitch work on these garments is actually immaculate. I don't know how you did it. Why do you think I made them? If you did this by hand, all I'm saying is it's very impressive. Anyway, you need a haircut.

I'm gonna swing. And whoa, now I rolled 219s. How many of us? That's a 20, 25 to hit. Right on that hits. And that is 13 damage. Cool. And I'll unleash Shank's fury,

and hope that he had even just a single a little bit of fairy food. 16 hits. 16 hits. Shank, not bad. He rolled insanely low on damage. That's a one and a two. Okay.

Seven. She's looking pretty messed up at this point, and I would say, Fiya, you would probably know the difference between a spawn and a real vampire. Spawns are weaker and we're turned by a more powerful vampire who they are bound to. Who turned you? Who turned you? Who is your maker? Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Okay we have a minus one going into this. Nice. And I just grew it again! Good, wow.

Yes, yes, yes! Yes! Oh, you hear her yell the name. Kentley! Kentley told Ray. Thank you so much. Is that the name of your fashion brand? And you recognize the name Kenley

as being one of the names that Petty Jack gave you for the people that they were hunting? Wait. Ooh. Brayden, Kenley? being one of the names that Petty Jack gave you for the people that they were hunting. Wait. Oh. What? What? What was it in the context of was Kenley a guardian and they were hunting them?

You have literally no idea. All you know is that Petty Jack had somebody named Kenley on his list of people he was hunting. Interesting. Okay. This is very sick. And that is, once again, the vampire spawns turn. This vampire spawn still has fear, grappled, is going to do a claw attack with the other hands. That is 20 to hit, is gonna hit.

I guess I have to shield. Okay, sweet, you are able to dodge it. Arcane shield comes up to protect your neck as she goes to swing at it with the other hands. Why do you hide your delicious witch blood? Because it's delicious and I want it all for myself. That one is gonna be a natural 18 plus six is 24 to hit, so that's gonna hit with the bite. But from what I know about Vampire Spawn,

if this bite isn't gonna turn you into an hour. She's not gonna turn you. She cannot like pass on the curse. She does 13 damage to you and is healed for seven. You see she latches onto Fia's neck, and you see Fia begins to look a little pale, and she looks, you see like her veins protruding out of her neck and just looking like she's getting power from this. Fiya, that is your turn.

Okay, I will put on to undo this. I just crit again, I swear to God, I just come in and look at it. I believe you. Yeah, just happening, it's happening. I believe you, but I wanted to show it anyway. I like to see it. I like to see it. 18 damage.

Holy shit. Hook away, one fucking thing. Yeah, you fuck her right up. So yeah, I'll say you guys. I like to see it 18 damage holy shit Yeah, you fucker right up so yeah, I'll say you guys are bustling you've been able to avoid it so far She finally overpowers you bites into you see she starts to draw some power from this You just this like burst of arcane energy kind of like harms her as she's trying to bite into you You see there's like this small arcane energy, kind of like harms her as she's trying to bite into you. You see there's like this small arcane explosion as she blows back. You swing on her with the great sword and do quite a bit of damage. Zirk that is your turn.

Oh no, then the bonus action I will attack her once more. Sweet, go ahead. Yeah, nice. Okay, that's going to heat. So in other, seven damage. Fia finish her. Yeah. You know, I'm just going to throw her into the window that I kicked so that she gets all turned up in glass.

Jesus Christ. You guys have been wrestling back and forth. You're able to slash at her as she goes to lunch towards you to bite you again. You grab her and throw her down into like the wreckage of the window and she is pierced on the jagged glass and you see she turns to ash. You know, I guess I am glad you broke the window. That turned out to be a really heads up. Good move.

Smart thinking, yeah. Sorry for giving you a hard time about that. Yeah. It's okay. I'm sorry for enjoying your drama with Shank. Welcome by the way, Shank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm here when we're breaking windows and fighting crazy people. Yeah, you know what? Give this guy some fairy bits. Come here. Come here, buddy. I think he's good. It looks like he's

good. Shank. All right, we're for Spritele. So I guess we should look at all these paintings, right? Because there might be a clue as to how to get in. Like I'm wondering if we have to go in through a painting or something. Ooh. I'll go around touching paintings. Sweet, you go around touching paintings. Well, they look pretty old. Okay.

Something they tell you not to do at the museum. I see, Fia has blood all over her hands, begin smoking, they might be antiques. Did you just sign that one, Fia? That's not allowed. You see, there smoking, descendant. They might be antiques. Did you just sign that one for you? That's not allowed. You see there are paintings in here. These are works of art featuring like lush green landscapes and images of Sylvan people,

like fairy satyrs and centaurs. There's also this dead man here. He's got a long coton over leather armor. He's got a sword on the ground next to him. And he is wearing similar clothes to what the vampire was wearing. They both look like... High fashion.

Bandits or bounty hunters or something. And you see a died of a grievous neck wound looks like was attacked by the vampire. He's also got like a shattered glass vile near him that probably had a potion or something in it. You also see that. Can I sniff at the potion to see, or actually, Zirko would be better. Zirko, do you want to sniff this vile to see?

Yeah, you sniff the paintings. I'll sniff the potion. Henry, dealer's choice. Whatever you want to sniff, but I'll take a, I'll take a yander at that very food actually. Sweet, Sir, go ahead and give me a perception check. Cool. Earn Invest, investigate or insight. 13, 13, Sir, you pick up the shattered glass and a travesty.

An acidic liquid comes out. You notice that the floor around this bottle has like destroyed the rug here, like nearby. It looks like some kind of weapon. It looks like this was some sort of acid that potentially could have been used as a component and like an explosive or something like that. You see nearby like a little cork and just from being able to kind of piece together the different pieces of glass and stuff, it looks a little bit like the types of potions that your mom would make.

It looks a little bit like her like presentation. What? I'd recognize these patterns anywhere. This looks like some of the glass that my mom would make up. But that doesn't make any sense. Her stuff was all bunk. It was just, I mean, as I've mentioned, mostly cocaine and then like a little like fizzy water. This is serious stuff. Hold on, I want to roll the guy over and see if he's carrying anything else.

You go through his pockets and you find a wanted poster for Lord Braden Kenley. Oh Kenley. Kenley. And you find evidence through that that this is most likely a bounty hunter or like a member of the bedfellows. This like criminal network of different gangs that is working together. Now that people are paying them to look out for these blades and stuff. Do I find any more glass vials? You do not find any more glass vials on him.

Okay. What about this rug? Can we whip this rug out to try to see if there's a trap door? You do not see a trap door. So you guys went in through like the side. You guys did not go in through the main hall. You guys are just in to kind of the left of the main hall. There is another door that presumably goes elsewhere. Okay. Okay, and the paintings don't transport me anywhere. You go around and you touch the paintings. You do very little except for kind of ruin the paintings.

Oh, miss, if you could just be emotionally transported by looking at that painting. I can't sanit a little man thing every time I ice me it up. Maybe if you go, whoa, before you jump into the painting something might happen. I don't know. You know, that sounds like a you thing. I'm gonna let you try that one. Yeah, try it with your fishing rods, sir. We might have another body in this other room, so I guess we may be going. Okay, you guys open the store, and you see the main hall of the manor.

Surprisingly well-maintained, this other room, this dining room, was pretty well kept together, except for where this attack happened. You see, in here, there has been no signs of any kind of attack or anything. You see beautiful wood floors with a red carpet that extends from the entrance to a stairway.

At the other end of the entry hall, you see its spirals and turns up to the second floor. There's a staircase. But it only goes up. You do not see anything heading down. Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks. Real quick, can we say that I saved that little bit of acid that was left in that vial? Sure. Cool. Just for later studying. That is a nine. Twelve. Eleven. Okay. You guys notice along the walls are

sconces with unlit candles next to paintings with gold frames. The interesting thing about the paintings is that none of the people seem to be related. There are no shared features. They all appear to be adults in their 20s or 30s or 40s, kind of these people that are kind of in their prime. They look to be from different time periods. You see, you do not see Batilda. You see some of the people are wearing like military uniforms that predate the empire, which would be like over 1,000 years ago. The first picture near the entrance, in fact,

is a picture of a man with like light hair and a mustache. He's got a breastplate. Kind of It's got one knee out doing kind of like a warrior's pose with like a rapier out He wears a breastplate under a cloak and you see he has a scarf that is aquamarine and white Which you would know Henry over the capitals colors Before it was called the capital before the Empire back when the capital was just like a southern territory. You also see a painting of a frost giant woman in front of like a large stack of tomes. You see kind of just an interesting eclectic crew of people.

Do we see Henry? You look around, you do not see Henry in a painting. Mr. Henry, I'm looking for you. I, yeah, I don't, I, here's a little cocktail napkin, somebody threw a penis on, that's kind of has a small resemblance I see. Mr. Henry, wow, that means again, we really have to work on yourself, doc. If I could get you into Miro's Love The Mesmer's autobiography, as a whole section about how to talk to yourself. Okay. He calls it the secret. Oh, okay.

I'm interested in learning the secret. Wow, hypnotize your brain for the better. Yeah. And you guys also see, you guys had come in from this room to the left of the main entrance. There's another room to the right, and there are stairs leading up. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age

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Okay, that's it for me, Go team pants and enjoy the show. I think we case the joy. Let's check out that room to the right. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Cool. You guys enter a wood paneled room that looks like a hunter's den. And we'll use your guys' same perception checks. As you guys walk around, you see a stone fireplace over which hangs the head of some kind of horned horror. It looks like some kind of mutated bull with huge horns. Cool. And all along the walls are trophies of various horrors, as well as mounted weapons, swords, axes, javelins,

and fia, you see in here as a painting of a young Batilda. Unmistakably, her silver hair is instead in black curls, but she still wears all her bobbles and trinkets, and at her hip is the crescent blade that you now wield at your side. What the hell? I go and I scooch the painting to the side to see if there's a little hidden compartment behind it. You go and you scooch nothing? Okay, I just, I just hang out with Petild. We can all sit here for a second. It's a cozy room. You want to just spend some time with your painting? I guess this is our first time seeing her. Oh, you've never seen her before. Now you see this is the beauty that the moon envies. Wow, she's... looks pretty badass.

Yeah. I wonder how many of these horrors she herself killed. Um, yeah, you guys see, this is very much so not just like a regular hunter's den, but like a horror hunter's den. All of these are trophies from monsters, not animals. Do I see Nebel or Pinley? I was wondering if he might be in a different room, right? These are the blades and maybe if we bend upstairs,

it's where the smiths are. Oh sure, yeah, it's kind of like, you know, you gotta keep it. It's like the drawing room versus like the trophies room. I got you. I will actually say, as you guys walk back out and Zirk, you are now looking for Nebel, you find a young, Arthur Penley as one of the paintings

on the wall out in the hall. Oh, I just didn't recognize him because he's just even more gorgeous than he was before. Like, wow, look at this guy. I don't know who did these portraits, but everybody's looking fucking right in these days. Yeah. We have to find his artist, right?

In the commission sum. We gotta find this painter, yeah. What do we got to do to get our portraits of her? I've been decorating the boat. I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I've been decorating the boat. And I think we could really use some paintings of her. I'm Henry's dead serious. I have noticed and I couldn't appreciate it more.

A boat should be a home. I give Mr. Henry a stern masculine handshake. Put her in the air pal. Like a son-in-law meeting a father's law. Oh wow, that really resonates with him too. The firm handshake of an accepted son-in-law. I guess should we go up the stairs to see what's up here? It's time. I think so. Yeah.

Sweet. Guys, go ahead and give me perception or investigation checks as you guys head up the stairs to see what's up here. It's time. I think so, yeah. Sweet. Guys, go ahead and give me perception or investigation checks as you guys head up the stairs here. There's a 14. 19. With Spritals help, I get a 15. Sweet. So you guys go up the stairs and you find like a small washroom

and another nondescript, just kind of fancy room that looks like some sort of guest room. But you also find a master bedroom in which you find a floor-to-ceiling window leading out to the balcony that's outside. You see the moon hangs in the sky and cascades a white light onto the room. You see there's a king-size bed with a canopy over which hangs a painting of two men. You see one is tall with long hair pulled back into a bun with violet eyes and a goatee. And you see the other has medium hair

with a bit of it hanging in his face, kind of boyishly handsome with a mustache. And you recognize the guy with the mustache, you saw a man with with a turquoise scarf in a painting downstairs. This is him. Wait, but the other person is this canvally from the wanted poster?

Oh, yeah, you look at the poster and the doodle that they've done to try to capture canvley's features looks like the taller man in this painting. You see the shorter guy that is with Kenley has an aquamarine scarf, the same one as the knight had downstairs, but you see tucked under this one is an emerald necklace that unlike the rest of the painting, glitters in the moonlight, and Henry, you specifically notice that it seems to be protruding a little bit out of the painting. You see, Kenley has one arm around him, and they're holding hands with the other one.

It's clear that they are married or the very least romantic partners. Hmm. Hmm. Fia, before we investigate further, I'm wondering, your crescent blade. Does it have any properties in the moonlight at all? I'm just wondering if it could be used to detect anything in this room. I don't know. I hold it out and let some moonlight. I try to cast the moonlight with the reflection of my crescent blade onto this emerald necklace. Sweet, I'll say yeah, when Henry starts to point it out, via you hold your blade up, the moonlight reflects off of it, and you see that yes, this emerald is very much

so protruding out of the painting and looks like it could be removed. Okay, I also spin around the beads so it's like a little bit of a disco ball. That's cool. I could get into this. We should do this moment of vote. Just like we could dance, praying. Just a quick one. So yes, it turns into a disco ball in the moonlight. Thank you for asking, sir. I was curious. It looked like it had disco adjacent properties. Okay. I guess I will go touch another painting. Yeah, this one, this one I

think begs to be touch. Okay. Do you just want to wipe real quick for your hands though? No, I handed afterwards. It's a whole operation. Okay, I jump onto the bed, do a little bit of jumping, and then I touch the emerald to see what happens. You feel that there's like a socket in here. It feels like it could not only be yanked out, but be like easily pulled out. I pull it loose. You pull it out, there's a little click, and you now have the emerald in your hand.

Okay, so I think this might be a key somewhere, perhaps. Cool, right. Zerk was hiding under the table while this happened. Are we playing hide and go seek Papa? You basically yes, let's think of it that way. Can I do an in can I do can I cast identify on this? Yeah, Fiya, this is a regular emerald, but I'll say as part of the identify spell, it would be a little bit of an insight check There was a picture of this person downstairs that had the same emerald necklace on Okay, so I take it down to the picture downstairs and I put the emerald on that picture sweet as you Run down the right way for us. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Oh god. She's quick. I take three stairs at a time. Oh my God.

You see, Fia, rushes downstairs. As you inspect the painting of this night, you do see that on closer inspection, there is a little socket there, like under his neck. You see that there's a necklace poking out from under his scarf, and when you place the time... But I don't place it yet. I see this, and I turn to Hank and Zerke, and I say, as we each I know, this is the kind

of ritual that only works if we all hold hands. Really? Yes. Is that true? Is that true, miss? Bookmark. I just don't... Oh, right. Yes. Is that true? Is that true, miss? Bookmark. I just don't... Oh, right.

Yes. Fear, why are you going... Why are you going wall-eyed when you say that? We'll die. We're going to die if we don't hold hands. Okay, we're going to hold hands, but let's do it under the light of the disco ball. Bookmark, quick!

Be in the crescent blade in the moonlight. Yeah! Just a whirling blade of terror. Funky. Okay, and then I play it in the moon like. Oh, just a whirling blade of terror. Funky. OK, and then I put it in. You guys placed the emerald in the socket of the painting, and you hear the sound of muffled machinery in the walls as the painting suddenly slides to the side,

revealing a small study. And inside, you see a painting easel, as well as dozens of paintings and progress. They look similar to the ones you saw in the dining room and images of life in the tricksters grove. Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks as you look around. Wow, I've got to sit down for this artist. I also have to say I have to come clean. I lied about needing to hold hands. I just saw a bit till that I was feeling a little tender. I just wanted to hold some hands.

Which is word is her magic and so I have to be honest. I'm sorry for the lie. You can always lie to me for a noble purpose like that. Just maybe again wash the blood off your hands first, but anytime. Unfortunately, I'm just not willing to do this. I got a dirty 20 on my perception. It's 18. 14. Henry, with a dirty 20, as you are looking around the room, your eyes are drawn to a painting

of the prophet Cain. But he doing here. Before he was a horror back when he was a blade. Looks younger, his white hair is dark, and you see the painting looks to have been damaged. It looks like it was maybe taken out of one of the other halls or something like tossed in here. And you noticed some other paintings that are like destroyed in such a way.

Oh, so these are desecrated. Like the person has fallen. Does it look like somebody was trying to mend these paintings or they've been like put in here because they are desecrated. It looks like they were thrown away. Okay. So there's kind of like half finished paintings of the grove and things like that. But then there are a few of these blade portraits that look to have been taken down, or perhaps even like cast aside anglerly or just like tossed. But we get the sense that death is not enough

to take a picture from the wall because there are very old pictures out there. There are not nearly enough that are cast aside in here. And has anyone in these pictures had bangs? You see, yeah, that a young prophet Cain did indeed have bangs in his front. Fashion is cyclical, that vampire will tell you that. I hate to admit how good he looks.

You guys also see, besides the paintings, you see a bookshelf lined with books on horror hunting and the grove. Fingers are feeling very sticky. And they are sticking with blood. I beg you. Sprydle, wipe her down. I was thinking with blood. I beg you. Sprydell, wipe her down. I was spray here with a hose.

Papa. Yeah, you see, you see, I mean, Sprydell's a spray. Sprydell's already playing with books, just like a little kid, just like pulling books off the shelf. You see the books all appear to be organized alphabetically by title. And you notice a conspicuous space between two books. You see see one is

titled Grove Poems, a collection of Sylvan poetry, then there's a space and then it says Halls of Cerenesis is the other book. Okay. Guardians. He's not our book called Guardians of the Grove. It is indeed. Let's put it back in. Let's put it back in let's put it in spot looks hungry I promised we have to fear that we didn't have to hold hands then that's okay This one we all have to give each other a little kiss on the cheek for it is a ritual You we got a trust on this quick back on the cheek I can't read the book yet I don't know if she's telling the truth. Quick, pack. I smooth-shank.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Fia puts the book in and you guys, once again, hear the sounds of machinery working behind the walls. It's almost like you've got a ID or something that's like letting you enter somewhere. Like you're able to pull your book back out so you can keep it.

But as soon as you prove essentially that you got it. Because all the blades they travel around with these guardians of the Grove book and then they all have access. Yeah, wow. Is this a hidden room within a hidden room? Wow, wow. So it does appear to be a double hidden room.

It clicks open. Only those grace by the trickster cookbook was really so good. And you've got to love it. You see the bookcase slides out and reveals a doorway through which you see a spiral walkway leading down into, it looks like down into like a cave. Like it looks much more natural here. The look of the staircase is far more natural

than anything you've seen thus far. It is a path of smooth rock that spirals down, and you see about 50 feet down at the bottom, there is a dim light. And you guys hear a very faraway sound of a piano playing. Okay, let's go. As we go, I just whispered once more. Again, I'm so sorry, I like again.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Absolutely. We need to pinky through belt loops on this time. No, I'll stop lying. kiss was a lie. Do we need to pinky through belt loops on this time? No, I'll stop lying. It's fine. It's fine. It's always for fun.

But lying is so fun. Be good on people. It just makes me want things, but not want to directly ask for them. Does that make sense? I mean, you always come clean, like, less than 30 seconds later. So I have no issue with your lying.

I really don't. I can hardly be considered a lie, Miss. I know, I'm trying to find a loophole so that my witch's word stays cute. Have you thought about just asking us what you want, directly? I know, this is what I'm realizing, you know, books, you don't feel like you need to put up all these defense mechanisms, you just look for what you want and you open a page to it, but it feels scary to do that with a human. Anyway, let's walk down this school, boy.

Let's do it. So you guys begin making your way down this natural staircase. And you hear the piano playing getting louder as you get lower. This person playing a slow, kind of modland tune, but it's also sweet and beautiful. The weird thing about the trickster and the Reaper, right, is the Reaper is always associated with all of these grim things. But the truth of the matter is that like people who are super into the Reaper probably don't listen to music

period and people who are into the trickster are also into drama and like feeling all these big feelings and everything. So the fact that this person is playing like a modland tune does not mean they are like against the trickster or something. And you guys reach the bottom and you see a close to door under which there is a light. Can I before we go through this threshold? And I, before we go through this threshold, I have a suspicion that whoever is there might be a vampire or a vampire in some way. I rolled my elixir for the day and it is an alter self elixir. Can I drink it and give myself things? Sure.

Cool. See, now Fiya, that's a lie. Wow, you have little upper tasks. Yeah. If we were to kiss, it would be very confusing. Zerk. Fiya, watch this. No, I meant, well, um, I turned to Shank.

You see, this is the drama. This is what we want. We have a dance to read a book. She takes out Miras from a logical perspective. We have a chance to read a book. She takes out mirrors. The conflict mess. From a logical perspective, if we kiss, we would get stuck. We would be in a perfect embrace because of our teeth. I'm gonna, you know what?

I'm gonna go up the stairs and now, I'm gonna go look at the paints. I'm gonna go look at the paints. Start trying to go away. Wait, Papa. I think I'm feeling like maybe this might not be a fight. So I'm not going to cast an e-spell. Yeah, this feels almost like a like a knock situation. Like not

even just opening the door, you know, like a really gentle. Yeah. Do you want to show us what kind of knock you have in mind? You're doing such a poetic job describing. Right, so I was you know know, normal knock is like, hand forward. I'm sort of imagining like you twist the hand, you just a single wrinkle, just, yeah, but a really like wrap. I might ask Shank to do it, because it's almost the shadow of a knock.

It's just a very... What? So you want me to knock on a vampire's fucking door, man? You don't invite me to dinner, and now you want me to go knock on the door. All right. Oh yeah, Shank, if you're gonna complain, I'll do it myself. You hear a, uh, uh, uh, spread, it goes, this is all very dramatic. I love it. I'm loving it. I'm living for this drama.

Shank, uh, knock on the door and you hear the piano music stops and you hear a voice from inside go What are you waiting for come in? Oh, okay, yes, I tried to kick the door open, but it just hurts my foot Thank God you guys Zirk goes from yeah, why does sneak into just like fucking kicking in the door? Zerk goes from, yeah, wanting to sneak in to just like fucking kicking in the door. There's it in between. There is an in between, sir.

I wait for Zerk to kick again, and then kick at the same time. You gotta kick at the same time, you gotta just store ways you hard. Turns the handle and there's, yeah, you open the door, and you guys see a large cozy cave, reminiscent of Fiya's train car. You see that the entire place has been rigged with these arcane grow lights that facilitate abundant plant

life in this subterranean place. This looks to be kind of a bigger version of the study you saw upstairs. Cluttered bookshelves covered in moss, plants everywhere, small tables and chairs, paintings, lining the walls. And you see, it has just turned to greet you and stopped playing the piano, standing atop a bed of flowers. There's a pristine grand piano that was being played by Kenley, this tall gentleman in the long tail cloak, with an emerald brooch and a scarf. You see, he is wearing the same emerald brooch that the shorter man was wearing in the painting, but you recognize him as being the taller man. You see, he has long white hair now, pulled back into a bun in a white goatee. Despite his otherwise formal appearance, he is barefoot in the grass

while he plays. And you see, as he turns to great, he's got sort of blue-gray skin. He kind of looks halfway between a regular humanoid and what kind of the vampire spawn looked like. And you see, he flashes you a smile with the unmistakable fangs of a vampire. Hey, gesture to kiss his hand. You see he holds his hand out and like brings his foot back and does a polite bow. I see now. The vampire spawn upstairs was to kill the person trying to kill you.

Oh no. You see he nods and he goes, I hope the spawn didn't give you too much trouble but if you made it this far you must be seasoned horror hunters. Uh-huh. Zerg talks with his mouth closed. I'm glad you didn't come in with some ridiculous plan to pretend to be vampires or something. Could you imagine? Right? We're laughing. He goes, my name is Lord Braden Kenley, but you can call me Kenley. And you must be, you see, Fiya, he looks at you, looks down at your blade, and looks back at you, and goes, Fiya Boginia.

Yes. I look around at his, all of his little grown lamps and say, I am a Batilda's little seedling. And she is my little seedling. What? You see, he turns to a zirc. He goes, and you must be zirc. I nod.

Dr. Neville told me all about you. That could be some day be a powerful smith in your own right. Doesn't that bring a smile to your face? Just imagining a mentor like that, seeing so much potential in you, he wrote to me about you, Zirk. Zirk covers his mouth and goes, oh, that's so amazing, I'm shocked. Yes, I can see you're overwhelmed. And it turns to Henry.

And of course, you. I'm most... Henry kisses his hand. Yes. Nice to meet you. I'm Henry Hockfish, this is my shadow, Shank. Hey, how you doing? He hasn't been fed in days He is my swim instructor Very nice to meet you. Yes, you must always travel with your swim instructor

You never know when you're gonna come upon some you know, honestly, I don't even think she needs me. She's a goddamn natural I spit up some river water She got that from the bottom. Easy, I'm not good around, I'm not good around running water. Oh, I'm so sorry, how disrespectful. Quite alright, quite alright. So yes, I was wondering when I might meet you ever since Patilda's disappearance, I thought it wouldn't be long before you showed up on my doorstep.

Which is disappeared to US well? Well, that's... a bit of a story. Her painting is on the wall, and it's not stored like the other ones. Mm-hmm. Yes, listen, um, if you grew up with Patilda, and you got this far, then surely you know about the guardians of the Grove. The blades who kill the horrors and the smiths who craft the blades. Mm-hmm. You've only just started to learn. Well, I, myself and Miss Smith, one of the few surviving,

and I count to be till to the blade, which is one of my pupils. Okay, good. The paintings that were thrown out are for people who no longer fight for our cause. I see. I was introduced to the guardians by my beloved Walder, who has since, who has long since passed,

who has once one of the first of the trickster's blades. A romance between a Smith and a blade? This is sexy stuff. No, that's the drama. That's the drama that we wanted. I am a young girl, but I am feeling like a woman when I hear this story. If you would like to read my manuscript, I've been working on an autobiography for a long time.

I would, I'm a very avid reader. Okay, yes, I've been down here for quite a while now, so it's a little bit, so it's in multiple volumes. A little overwritten. I haven't found it. If you would like to give me notes, perhaps? Absolutely, I would love to. Okay, great. He can't do a book set. Oh, wow.

I look at Zurich and I whisper, I have my word cut out for you. Yeah, Zurich says, oh yeah. And then covers his mouth again. You see, he goes, but yes, I am a Smith. I wanted to be able to pass on the knowledge of our order through more than just one lifetime, so I became a vampire voluntarily. It has had some unfortunate side effects, like out living many dear friends and not being able to go out in the sun, but it has allowed me to keep the Guardians going

when membership has otherwise dried up. Beyond that, if you would like to help me and help us, I'm going to need some insurance, a fairy promise. Oh, we are well-versed in those. Sorry about the thanks, by the way. That was, don't worry about it. People tried all the time. Honestly, I was just-versed in those. Sorry about the thanks, by the way. That was... Don't worry about it. People tried all the time. Honestly, I was just kind of messing with you.

Okay. Who? Normally, I would have divulged any of this to anyone really, besides a few select blades, but times are dire and... Membership is dry. Membership is indeed dry. So if I get your word, then I believe we can be of help to each other. What promise do you need of us before we let the fairies fly around, you know? Yeah, we're already mired in these promises, so we just want to get a little more.

So many promises, the drama of it all, broken promises, kept promises. Sprite all. I live for the drama. I do do, Sprite, but I really do. I just see Ken Lee pours himself a glass of wine into a silver goblet, and you see he goes, should you try to tell anyone of the Guardians Great Secret, may your throat go dry, and the words stay hidden behind your teeth?

What is a great secret? So I know not to say it. He says, he takes a sip, and he goes, if I were to tell you that, there'd be no reason to make a promise. I'm so sorry. He passes you the goblet. OK. Oh, thank you.

Silver is my favorite color. Yes, let's do this. Sweet. Fiya takes a sip. Zerk takes the goblet. Before I take a sip, I was just wondering, why was Pinley coming here? He seemed like he had something super urgent to do.

Could you tell us that before we engage in this promise? Because that's the entire reason that we came to this, to this manner in the first place. And I feel like before we engage in this exchange of knowledge, I need to know that. That's a good cause, I speed up the wine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, your breath for a long time. To put it simply, Arthur was going to help me get Patilda back. That's all I need to hear. Zerke takes a big gulp.

Sweet. Drink up, buddy. Henry. Right, looks like a solid amount of backwash at this point. But you know what, Froghead? It's gonna say, make sure you take a big sip because it's been diluted with it. And also, I bit my tongue really bad on my fangs,

so there is some blood in there. I'm sorry. You do get used to those, yes. A lot of it. Henry drains the cup. Not for amateurs, wow. It's a lot of backwash. So you guys all drink this wine.

And the way this ferry promise is going to work, you guys feel, once again, you see like, Spritele glow. And you see, you do see that there are sprites in this room. I neglected to mention, you see that there are sprites in here kind of floating around and playing these little gold lights everywhere. And you do see they circle you guys as you make this drink

and this bond. And the way this promise is going to work based on what he said is essentially if you try to tell somebody this secret, you literally won't be able to. What if we are put under magical influence like, is on a through type spell? Then you quite literally wouldn't be able to talk. Then we will die.

What if we try to, you, no, you won't die. You just won't be able to speak. Oh, this is very good magic. This is just insurance because I don't know How much you know about what's going on with Patilda, but there have been people in our order who have betrayed us and so I Need my insurance unfortunately. Yes, take it. Yeah, we saw the prophet Cain Yes, we know how dire things have gotten well saw the prophet Cain. We know how dire things have gotten. Well, perhaps I can enlighten you on how much more dire

they could be. Oh boy. Yes. The drama. I am living for this. Yeah, Paul's up there seat. Yeah, you have me more of this secret wine. I could really get lost in this story.

Oh, and feel free to help yourself to some of our fairy bits. I never seen these and all of my time traveling the groves fairy bits. Did you just get this at a random gas station? What is this? I think it's enchanted cornflakes. It's cornflakes, right?

It's edible glitter on cornflakes. Yeah. You see, he goes, the great secret of the guardians is that the trickster once had a child named Sarenesis who left the comfort of the great grove to live amongst the humanoids of Eldomorn. When Sarenesis grew old and died, the trickster was able to mass curtrue nature to the reaper who then sent the soul back to be reincarnated as if it were any other person. Now in most cases,

a reincarnated person has few if any similarities to their past self. But in the case of Sarenesis, she proved to be a powerful enough magic entity that her magical powers continued to manifest even as she went on to live other lives. Luckily, it wasn't as pronounced in previous generations, but this most recent one has proven quite noticeable. Now, even amongst the Guardians, this is somewhat of a secret. There is always one Smith and one blade who know about Cerenesis and seek to protect her and keep her secret. For the past several, I have been the Smith and for this lifetime, Batilda was the blade. When we heard rumblings of a young woman with a raw magic power and a small village in Innerboro, we knew we'd likely had our next serenesis. The townspeople had turned against her, and Batilda set out to save her from execution on the Reaper's scales. But when she got there,

someone else had already done it. And you see, he gives like a slice smile and gives a look to Fia. He re-nice the child. You see, he nods. Batilda took a liking to you and took you under her wing. Wow. Butildo took a liking to you and took you under her wing. The lucky side effect of your bravery is that the blade witch who interrupted a Reaper ceremony fueled the gossip mill far greater than the young girl with raw magic power. So Saronesus was once again safe to live in obscurity. However, the problem repeated itself within a couple of years, and the girl's raw magic power once again was discovered, but this time she was able to defend herself.

After half destroying another village in a rain of arcane missiles, this time she did draw the attention of the Reaper's followers followers and eventually the Reaper himself, who was easily able to deduce that there was something special about this untrained girl with so much magical power. The good and the bad news is that Sarenesis has gone on the run, has been able to mask her location somehow from both us and the enemy. When this happened, the blades and the smiths gathered at our temple to discuss our next move, and it was there that we were attacked by a reaper sorceress. I was one of the few survivors, along with Arthur Penley, and of the blades that were

killed in the temple, many of them were convinced to switch sides and join the Reaper once they had to face him. Those blades would later return as the prophets and now serve this very same sorceress and seek to find Cernesis and remove her soul from the cycle. Have they found her? Is she safe? She will not be safe until we find her. Do you have a lead?

Do you know? I know her magic. This book, Guigvar, she was the first one to make him. I bet a trace of it lingers on him. Yes, that's right. I was made by a god, NBD, no big deal. And you still won't play fetch. As if I need to do that, I was made by a god, okay? I threw a Frisbee at the bookmark. Say you're a real good at it. Ah, he instinctively snaps the Frisbee. Damn, it's fine.

Oh my god. Like that, Sprite. I'll see like that. He's better than me at catching Frisbees. This is so juicy. Not everything is drama. We need to learn to distinguish what's drama and what's just a normal thing that happens. I don't know. I find drama and everything, Papa.

Then will she last seen? She's not there. She has not been seen by us or by any of the Reaper folk in years. The only one with a clue to find her would be Batilda. When the attack on the temple happened, I presumed she was dead. I attempted to locate her through traditional magical means, but with no luck. And yet, when I used divination to speak to the fairies of the great grove, I was always told that she was alive. After years of study, I was able to create a sort of

scrying spell that focuses on a person's essence, their soul instead of their body. And I was finally able to locate her. But Hilda is at the bottom of the temple, which was flooded during the attacks. She must be trapped there in some way, perhaps behind some kind of magical barrier.

For years trapped? For years. I assume, unless she moved at some point, I'm not sure. I only located her very recently, which is why I reached out to Arthur Penley. Arthur Penley is one of the few people we have left. All of the blades are gone except for Batilda. there is one other Smith who is hidden away in a grove. I contacted Penley to find Batilda in the temple because I, as a vampire, can't go through water, but he was killed before you could do anything. Well, this is very happy circumstance because I have recently started to learn to spin. Yeah, I don't think there's somebody better equipped to get to the bottom of a flooded temple than Fio began yet.

The whole, the problem though is with traditional swimming, I don't know if it would work. What we kind of need is for someone to just go on the bottom and kind of walk around down there until they find... Who could it be? I spit up more river water. I'm just like one men. Oh. It's time for the learner to become the teacher. That's the bottom. That is the bottom. It lives inside her. Where is this temple? We can do this for you. And for us, if I'm being honest, I have to be more honest. You're doing good. The temple is about 50 miles deeper into these mountains. We wanted to make it difficult for anyone to be able to get there and for a long time, we were safe there. Can you lead us there? I can't be out during the day at all and I don't think it's wise for me to leave this place

while I'm being hunted. Yes, you are very well hidden here. If you can just make us a little map. You make us a little map and just point out where the sides. If you just point out where the sides are, I should be good. No, let me, you know what, I'm actually not a great painter. You see, he puts a fresh canvas on the easel and begins immediately just doing like a beautiful, intricate painting.

I'll just whip something up really quickly for you. Wow. You get all strokes. Can you maybe draw us in there? I'm too. Right, yes. That'll just be our happy little secret. Henry is sitting with perfect posture sort of trying to comb his bangs with his fingers.

Okay. He has one knee on the ground and like a hand on the hip. Zirk puts a hand on Fiya's shoulder. Yeah, Henry keeps on sitting down and standing up. Oh, I see you all have bangs. Any time I go through a breakup or any time I, you know, outlive someone because I'm a vampire, I always go through a bangs phase.

Sure. A loolies on life. Yeah. Yeah. These are our dedication bangs. You see, he draws you like an overhead look of like where you guys are and just kind of a map through this valley and how to get to the ruins

of this temple. Okay, I shove it into Atlas and I say, this is good for everyone, Mr. Henry, Mr. Zerk. This is what we came for. It's time for you to go dive. Okay then, can we stay the night maybe? Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less I'm assuming you probably got attacked by my vampire spawn

How would you feel what's the relationship between a spawn and a maker they're kind of annoying right you're happy When they're gone. It's sort of my security system that I use where a bounty hunter comes and tries to kill me I bite them and turn them into a vampire. They kill the next bounty hunter that tries to come and kill me. So just that you basically destroyed my security system, which is fine. I'll get a new one. Okay. Okay. We'll be on the lookout for a new guy. I guess. Well, people have been coming here trying to stoop around for quite some time. There have been a number of bounty hunters that have come by. Luckily,

they've all been eager to collect the reward for themselves, so they haven't come in any kind of big fighting force. It's always been one or two at a time. I see. Selfish. Have a lot of the bounty hunters that have come used an acid like this or is that just this one person? You see, he looks at it and he goes, some of the bounty hunters have various potions and whatnot. Most of them aren't magically inclined,

so they will use various gadgets and whatnot. I've seen some with small pistols and firearms and whatnot. Serk Mudder's cool under his breath. That sounds really sick. That's where he don't. Before we were tired, can I ask a question? Yes, of course, Fiya. Do you have any books on reincarnation? I wanted to know because I you know some people have like memories of their past life or no not really. Excuse me?

Hmm. Oh yeah, finish your question. You have memories of your past life? Not I, a friend of mine and if you look at me you know I just collect friends like I collect books so like it could be someone not here But what if someone did remember their past life and maybe their past life showed up as a little shadow You see books about shadow lives. You see he eyes Henry and the moving shadow next to him.

We both wave. You remember your past lives? Yeah, you know, I haven't always been a swimming instructor. You had me full, though. You were very good. But the life that I'm living now has been hard to forget because a lot of it's gone wrong, but sometimes I get these flashbacks of, you know, other shit that went super wrong, but that didn't happen to me in this lifetime.

I suppose rarely there have been seers and whatnot in, and you are you in the memories. You look like you. Yeah, yeah. I haven't always had banks, but yeah, pretty much always me. These are no. Maybe that's what you do drawing and everything. That's all downhill from here.

Or maybe this is the first thing I did right. You see, he goes, oh, oh, this is not good. I have a suspicion Would you permit me to cast a spell on you as long as I don't need to give you like 15 vials of my come then yeah You could what? It's been a while since you've been out there in the world. There's some new techniques. There's some new knowledge. Yeah, I wasn't. Why?

I wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't going to say anything. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone.

We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone.

We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. We've been to say to someone. by Spell on you to see if you have any curses or what the nature of those might be. Okay, well, I definitely have a curse, so yeah, feel free. You see, he holds his hand out onto your forehead and you see the glowing sprites in the room begin to circle around you and him. You see there is a green glow in his eyes as he reads you and after a moment they flash back to their natural Violet and he goes, you my friend, have broken a fairy promise. God damn it. And that's where we'll end our set I Am

Incredible, oh what a banger to come back on yeah, she's banger indeed back into it. Oh my goodness. That was amazing Yeah, great to have you back. Well It's welcome to be back. Y'all this has been such a blast. Oh, I missed it. I love you Guys you can hear us a chat about This new a return to the third mates over on our Patreon Patreon The Roses. The Flash NAD pod. It's an ATPOD.

Don't sing yet. We, we, don't. Do you guys, do we have anything to plug? Well, not that I'm back. I would be happy to take over plugging the PO box from Jake if that's okay. By all means. All right. here we go. Libby sent us a hand drawn, a Christmas card

and some were there's originals. All of a sweet. Very, very late on thanking you for that, but they are lovely. Can't wait to suck on them while I'm recording. Sorry, Murph. Murph has a filter. We're all sucking candies.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. So, but Murph filters it out. We chill in the J Yeah, that's terrible. But Merv filters it out. We chilling with Jolly Ranchers guys. Sorry, we bought the Dill. She's always sucking on the green apple. We bought you that filter for Christmas and you're gonna use it. Chandler P sent us a copy of Grim Hollow,

which is a campaign guide. Oh, it's really cool. Yeah, it's like some like real like gothic horror stuff. It works perfect for elder mourn. And Chandler also sent us some bone skull dyes from Q workshops. So really just. Yes, and I have to tell you, I painted shading onto them. You know, like I did the thing that you do with a mini and you like paint, you do like

a coat to like bring out the texture and they look really good. The dry brushing. Oh, people were going off on me in the, in my painting stream about dry brushing. You got a dry brush. Oh, Roy the Flame Alchemist, Sinesa lovely note. Thanks for listening, Colonel Mustang, Kate and Mark, Sinesa nice note and a picture of a possum named Chandler from Kate's job at the science museum's animal care department.

Oh, that is so cute. According to Kate, Chandler likes scrambled eggs and sleep so up. I'm gonna say, toss salad and scrambled eggs. I mean, probably. Just scrambled eggs. I mean, probably. That's great. Possums love two things, Frazier and Sleeping, and just making an absolute mess of eggs. Lastly, John S. Cennis a very nice note.

We're so glad that we could keep you company on those drives, John, and deeply appreciate you being a part of our community. Thank you very, very much to everyone that's sent us stuff. I'll have more shout outs in the future. And one less plug for me. Check out Wolf Walkers. It's a movie I watched over hiatus.

It's really awesome. It's an animated film about a girl who can warg into a wolf body. It rules check out Wolf Walkers. Oh, fuck you like basically juice. Like, that's me in a tagline. In terms terms of like watching this movie my essence. It's so good It's so fucking good Jake you got anything to plug oh

Yeah, I started a little shop with my brother. We're selling key rings So check out brother's housey on we've got a Instagram. Yeah, like for putting your keys on Yeah, like little key clips. Oh, that's really cute. They're really convenient. Check it out. Brothers Halcyon, guys. Brothers Halcyon, powerful name.

Oh, that's very poetic, very Shakespearean. Check it out, everybody. You can follow us on various social media that we don't use. EtsyHMurf is me, Atty Axford is Emily, Atjikr, which is Jake, and at called He is Emily, Ed Jager which is Jake and at Call D is called on, you can tweet about the show using hashtagent Council of Elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Halder Frostbeck, Steelbreaker, Matt M. Vampire Spawn, who put together a huge

snack spread for the third Mates, but after seeing what they did to their Conrad decided to flee and leave it in the fridge. They've only wued Roll would roll higher investigation checks. Damnth. Jordan DJ Cutter W. Jive G. Zolo Dolo and Dylan B. Shopkeepers who sold Zirk the scrap metal they used to build Spritell's homunculus frame. They also sold him a pile of steel. Peter Bread they insisted were miniature Frisbee's.

Tasty. Shubbert the Mushroom. Danielle the Dastardly Dame. Andrew M. and Beard Mandan. And Scott D. Guardians whose paintings hang proudly in Lord Kenley's manner, each one has a secret room inside it, but they're all just full of old tax documents and teachers they keep meaning to donate to Goodwill.

Danny P. Alainacy, Mixologist Michael McDee, and Victor T. Balnor's boy, therapists who have attempted to help Philip work through some of his anger issues, unfortunately despite being an open book, he's incredibly difficult to read. Very nice. Andrew B. Justin I. Ragnar. Fared Wind. TJM. The No. Marbarian.

Elena M. Trailey the cray-fay and Jared E. The makers of Fairy Bits. The only snack with real glitter in every bite. It is so good you'll make a fairy promise just to get your hands on some. Christopher B. Austin Bonso M.R. Damial R. R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt and Octo Lick, a team of barbers who Henry enlisted to help with his bang fiasco. However, they, after taking one look, they all agreed that it looked radis is and refused to help. Fair enough. Gage M. Richard X Machina, Michael L, Kelvin Noodles, and Sergio Salazar Salomon Sakurai as they say you want to.

A team of healers taking the scientific community by storm after publishing their research paper entitled, Put Away Those Fluid Collection Viles. We just remembered the detect magic spell exists, long label, but effective. Trash the Traveler, Sir Carl, Jorias, Dana G, Calum, L, and Ryan, Bookvars, Binders, they keep his pages in place and ready for any adventure. They also use a highly water resistant book glue since Vietens do jump in any of body water. She sees.

Jack L. Flallis Whale, Tem, temporal, Sam L. and Nicholas C. Hair dressers of elder mourn who are going on strike between via the swordcut bangs and hanks sissor hands, they are going out of business. Reese and S. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. and Colton B. The owners of Vampires,

a funeral home that specializes in fire funerals for vampires, unfortunately their target demo keeps turning into ashes. Adam G. Mateo C. Nebadger. Panama James. And Cummins the Bard. Shanks. Shadow Buddies who were sick appearing him, complained about Henry not calling enough.

They're also sick of shank hogging the potato sliders, but they are giving him space to work through his problems with Henry before they confront him about it. That's nice. Thanks for being patient. Adrianke, the honkblunk, bunk, Dan, Nikki W, Andrew Nasty. The fashionistas who stole the vampire response patchwork dressed look that third mates are going to be shocked when they see their first patchwork frock Petty Queen. Cannot wait. CC Lulu, Jay, Lan T, Barnsinator, and

Michelle O, the authors of rights, the right way, who actually argue that holding hands and giving small pecs in fact do enhance ritual workings. Very good. Timmy R, Jonathan W, the crock-wearing warrior, Lucas B, Aaron S, and Kevin M, the family that is Airbnb and being the riverboat while the third mates try to find a BITIL day. Fiya didn't do all that decorating for nothing. Austin C, Hogmish is above average hog, New York, and Steven C, the door doctors of Inner Burrow, they'll get your door creaking in the haunted wind just the way you like it.

KJ, Rahul and Mike K, Maxwell C, the crew of the Bang Barge, each one is filling a breakup down the river and ready to reinvent themselves by making their hair shorter in the front. Karranty, Justin Raccoon, Nick W and Michael C, the river side, Gossipers who told the third maze about all the drama with the petty king, they also gushed about the hex buds and rated their fashion do's and don'ts, the crocs were actually a don't. I don't believe it. Asmase, asmasem, spartagnes, nathan, chasmere, the all-knowing, and big bad bido, the mad, bookvars, bookworms, no they aren't book-inclusius, they are actual book-eating magical worms who will someday destroy our precious boy. Eric M. Jack Meehaw, Burley T. Axel A. Neurochloria, Cesar Augustus, Germanicus, and Christian

A. A crew of friends who Airbnb and Kenley's haunted men are they unfortunately had to give four stars because of the dead body and the dining room. You know, that's tough. That's tough on an Airbnb. J. Dragonborn, J. Rowe the Inna Propos, the San Drian, Ben A and Fel Donnis, students at Kenley's art school they are currently mastering the art of adding bangs to all of the blades who left the Guardians. What?

That's an honor. Dave H. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Keith K. and Brittany B. A crew of Henry's old friends who were part of his broken fairy promise. In the summer of 92 they promised to have the best summer ever, but then Dave H forgot to book The Beach Outstam, and it ended up just being a pretty good summer, which wasn't quite good enough. The Time Walker Emilio D, Frankie Koala Big Bad John, Aaron S, and Blair, the Bug Blair Bar, Blair Ian. The cast of the real House Knights of Jackalok keep now that the keep has been blown up,

the drama is juicier than ever, and Spritell is just loving it. Pork Chop, Sheniel and Alice, Grant K, Minette, F and Pat L, Ken Lee's Bianne piano tuners, they need at least two people to solve the puzzles to unlock the secret room, three to fight the vampire spawn and one to tune the piano. Way to go, keep that thing in step. At Yuta A, Lauren H, Elias Hawthorne, Janina E, Maddie Y, and Alex H, towns people who lived by the river and they heard what they thought was heavy rain, started prepping for a flood but it actually was just Henry crying.

Damn. The eldest Barry Ryan S, the bone duster Joshua H, Robert Chris and Yidraizl, barbers who were worried about, who were briefly worried about their livelihood, given the new trend in elder mourn of cutting your own bangs. But now they're hopeful, because they're seeing an influx of customers asking them to fix this error in judgment. Brent Lee C. Micah B. Carly and Conner Savage Russell H. Phillips, friends who are all angsty YA novels, and they are quick to make fun

of Philip if Fia actually reads him, so that's probably why he's so sensitive about it. Christopher J. O. Cole, the goldfish, Gremlin Logan S. Leviathan, DMAA, and Bioquart. Also a bunch of Steam punk UFOs, they own those, and they're not afraid to play epic games of Frisbee with them. So hell yeah. Kenny, Remington CD, Amber K, Everett P, and Trub, Hop Drop,

Bounty Hunters who all tried to get Kenley and who each had a fun turn being his security system. Trab actually told Kenley about Alique as well, which was super thoughtful. Case so say, Lindsay W. Val, Carlin, C, and Anthony S. Friends of Zirk who convinced him how good a look it would be to mimic a vampire's appearance if he ever encountered one, and it's looking more and more like that was just a prank they pulled on him. Sally S. Tristancy, the goose, Jake Emily S. and the new petty king of Outerbro, C.C. Divers who look for sunken treasure in the waters of Eldomorn, and they are a little miffed that the best diver in all the land, Fia, is mostly interested in just collecting

dirt and minos from the bottom. But what are you going to do? Matthew J. Zain C. Michael S.D. Gendronan conforming, loyal lethioge Jir and Andy and Whitney as well as Rogue Creep. Also broke promises with a bunch of fairies and thankfully it was just for a bunch of really inconsequential stuff like remembering to DBR Jeopardy. So the fairies all said it was cool. Thank you all! Thank you all!

That was a hitgun podcast.