Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 17: Monsters of the Mountain

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

The Third Mates continue their trek to the Temple of the Guardians while being tracked by natural predators! Henry rocks short shorts, Zirk drools over some venom, and Fia embodies spider climb. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Tundra Trudge" by Emily Axford."Zirk Vervain" by Emily Axford."The Valley of the Frigid Death" by Emily Axford."Angels & Devils" by Emily Axford."Block Hop" by Emily Axford."Snake Fight" by Emily Axford. "The Pact" by Emily Axford."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."Into the Fire" by Emily Axford."Somethin's Amess Out West" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. ["Fast and Furious"] Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. ["Fast and Furious"] Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody! Elder Morn!

Elder Morn! Oh, that's my spider noise. Okay, I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz, emotionally drained, physically sprained, honk-hankfish. Okay. Emily Axford. Blade Venge with the deepest trench, Feeable Guinea. All right.

Woo! And of course, called Othaner. A twiggy little bench who loves to sleep in one big trench. It's Zirk for Vane, Hong, Hong. Nice, two trench runs. Oh yeah, I saw someone saying on Patreon, one big trench, and I can't believe we didn't say that. What the fool.

There's time, there's time. We're gonna sleep in a lot of trenches in this adventure. Yeah, we haven't fully gone to bed yet. So we do stuff. That's the rule we have badly slept. So no spell slots back. No spell slots at all. Okay.

Yes, and your ankle is still sprained. Sprained. You did not get that magical sleep that heals bru you know, bruised tendons. That's right. Overnights. Alright, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last week, we began with Kenley teaching you how to narrow down the source of Henry's curse using the big book of fairies and some divination chemistry.

Fiya and Zirk were able to determine on your first night that Henry's fairy was not a winter fairy but could still be spring, summer, or autumn. Kenley gave you some climbing equipment for your trek to save Batilda as well as a warhorn given to him by the deep folk of the mountains used to acquire their aid in a dire time. You began your hike to the old temple of the Guardians traversing rocky hills and climbing mountains. After a treacherous climb that saw Zerk smash several times into the rocks, you battled a Yeti and found the remains

of a bounty hunter that may or may not have been Luke Skywalker as well as a pistol with a familiar V initial on it. Did my mom make a lightsaber that we love? Yes, you left behind the life. Why did we not see that? Wow. This could have gone a real different direction.

I could be a saber bitch. Yeah. We're going back. We're going back. You guys eaked out the final five miles of a 25 mile hike via gaining a level of exhaustion and Henry gaining two along the way. You set up camp and went to bed with Henry taking first watch.

He aww. For some reason. For some reason. You know, we tried to embody our characters, but we just don't feel their sprained ankles and how tired they are. we just don't feel their sprained ankles and how tired they are. We just don't feel that. He awoke the others when he noticed a disturbance in the rocks nearby, and Bookfar went off to investigate. Bookfar was lucky enough to avoid being caught in the web of a giant spider,

but noticed the monster lying in weight ready to pounce, and that's where we are now. Bookfar is screeching. Oh, miss, miss. What is it? Okay, so much for the click. So much for the click. I don't see. I relay what I've seen through Bookfar's pages to that.

So this is instant chaos. The spider launches for Bookfar through Bookfar's vision, Fiya. You see, this is one of those situations where you see an animal and you instantly know it's so venomous. It's got kind of like gray hair to blend into the rock and the stone of the mountains, but you see just like neon green ooze coming out

of its fangs and just like kind of bright green markings around it. Like something in the rainforest where you're like, oh, an orange frog. If I touch that, I'm dead. Just like Zerg sees that and starts licking his lips. Oh, I'm gonna make so many tinctures out of that. So luckily, Bookfar with his perception check beats this thing's stealth,

so everything acts on initiative. So there is no surprise round, even though we are surprised, but book far screaming and giving up, I give up, I'll join your side spider. Wait, whoa, whoa, everybody. Bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, bid, That's right. That's right. Bad baby, that's all. Then the spider give up something first. Maybe just some of that venom, maybe just a little bit of that venom if you want to put

it in the fire. Bad book. Go ahead and everybody roll initiative. Right. Do I do that with disadvantage? You don't. It's just checks. Fuck yeah, baby.

Okay. Well, you know, still got a seven. I will say that, oh, brilliant. I will say that the spider is about 30 feet away. So Henry, you cannot get there unless you use a dash action. I believe I can also summon Shank, 30 feet away. Oh, that's a good call. Cool. Yeah. So Henry hops into action, but walking really gingerly on his sprained ankle. Hey, ah, fuck, wait for me. Wait for me. So sorry, we made you stay up. I got a dirty funny.

I got a slightly stinky nine. A stinky nine, you hate to see it. Ooh, what is that? I got a fresh seven. Alrighty. Okay, Fiya, you are first. Bookfar also acts on your turn. So 30 feet away, I want to move my action 30 feet, there and then I want to say bookmark get out of the way

And then I want to cast burning hands on the spider, but also the web right on because I know that like the web spell It like burns totally. Yes, it is vulnerable to fire certainly. So yeah, you shout for BookFar to leave, BookFar goes, you don't have to tell me twice, miss. And just flaps behind you. I remember the traitorous words you said. This is not forgotten to me. I was going to betray the spider after miss. As soon as it let his guard down, I would have stabbed at the back. A turn, turn code. He's still a turn code. Um, Fiya, what kind of check to make decks? Dexterity saving throw. That is only a nine. Okay, so it's, that's a fail.

It only does seven fire damage, but it does it in a 15 foot cone around the web. Okay. And then when it starts its turn, it will take another 2D4 damage if it's the same as the web spell. Fia, you use this fire spell. You see the web lights. The spider makes like a weird, shrieking sound that also is deep and gurgly. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, has minion devil. That is the spider's turn. Spider's going to take some damage from the web being on fire. You see fire all around it, it making all these crazy noises.

People take 2D4 of damage. It takes forward damage. And then it is going to launch out from its web. Kind of fire all around you. It's going to hawk a venomous, lugi, spit venom, at fia. Zerrk, hand me a vial. I can't shoot. Yes, see if you can save that venom.

There's a lot of peptides in there, some real good peptides. We're gonna save those if we can. We're on a tincture tour. Peptides, don't they have that in shampoo? In some, yeah, if you maybe have like a dandruff problem, that is only 12 to hit. You see this big venomous mucus shoots out

and just burns away a bunch of the web. Spider is then going to make a bite attack. Just like scrambles up to you and bites at you with its pincers. Oh yeah. So full of venom. God damn, I need a new dice. I show him my tusks to say I'm not afraid of a pointy tooth. You see the spider looks intimidated by your teeth and the rolls in natural four and misses. Zirk, that is your turn. Okay, I want to see if I can find like a pebble

or you know what, actually I'll take like a button off of my coat. Okay. And I will use tinkering to infuse it with bright light. I'm going to give that to Spritele so that Spritele can fly over to the spider and try and distract the spider. Okay. And basically try and give whoever is fighting the spider a health action. I guess that would be Fia, perhaps?

Right on. So I give this button to Spritele, and I tell them, I heard that that spider has all the hot goss about what is going on in these woods. Witch yetis are hooking up with Witch yetis. Go get that drama, my friend. Tell me who's getting those chill gazes. You see, Spritele flies over, begins flashing lights.

You see the spider begins to like skitter back a little bit as the light is right in its line of sight Fia will get advantage on her next attack Wow lovely Spritele can also get an attack. Yeah, let's bridle take an attack as well. Sweet That's gonna be a dirty 20 a dirty 20 is going to hit. Um, go ahead and do your damage Oh, yeah, that's five damage from Spritele sweet Spritele gets in there looking like a little steampunk UFO, this floating lantern, swings with like a hooked corner of their metal carapace and cuts into the spider. You see poison

ooze bursts out from the spider. Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw for Spritele. Spritele, just be careful with the glans, Spritele. Oh no, too dramatic, too dramatic. We just want to keep those glans intact if possible. That is a 15. 15 is going to pass. So Spritele does not take any damage. All right. You see, yeah, Spriteitell this venomous goo sprays everywhere, but Spritell is able to dodge

That is Henry's turn Henry still got your rolled ankle you haven't slept These guys are far away. They've like all run towards it Spritell flew off book far flew off They've all run towards it, Spritell, flew off, book far flew off, Fia went and did her run, you're way slower. Sort of wondering if I can just get a quick five minutes of shut eye, but I'm gonna, the ankle can't really bear weight, I'm just gonna hop along on this trail here.

And so I can summon Shank 15 feet away from me. Okay, so if I summon shank and then he has 30 feet of movement So if you just get if you use your full movement which is halved then you can essentially pass the torch to shank 15 feet down so shank also has a roll bankle, but it's the other ankle So you create shank and shank gets the rest of the way there. Ah, ah, ah, ah, I gotta be ginger. Right behind you, buddy. I gotta be ginger. Yeah, don't step up.

Don't pull your full body weight on it. It makes me wonder what other physical sensations transfer. You're thinking of the violin. All right, and I will roll for Shang. 10, does it? Oh, no, sorry, no, a 16. A 16 actually does not hit. Wow, yes. Brutal.

Very brutal. You know what, I am going to, I'm gonna action search. Okay, I'm gonna try to get a tell you how to get him again. Woo! Oh, shank, a fellow spider respecter I see. Zark, you said pepsis, pepsis, that's what what does that's what does wonders for the dandruff peptides. Yeah Some of those I think they'd be great. They you know they provide like a numbing sensation We could maybe put those on your back. We could basically make a icy hot patch

That's that would be fucking incredible. That's only a 15 the pet He does not hit Shank swings Twice at the spider. Spider keeps like getting its mandibles up and dodging out of the way. Do I have to do everything myself, Shank? Shank once again rolls his ankle as he tries to pivot to get into it. DAAAAMMIT!

Does he have bones? Or what? I just don't understand how this works. I have pendants! It just sprains! It's. I am pendants It's a sprain It's worse than a break. It's worse. It takes longer to recover from you think a break would be worse But it's not I hate it when they agree with each other I love it when they fight I love it when they agree. I just love the dynamic

We love the drama. Ah, Fiya that's your turn. Okay, I'm going to call Bookfar back. Bookfar come here, come here. All right, miss. I'm right behind you safely. Cast Dragon's Breath on Bookfar, send Bookfar into the sky to breathe fire on this again. But before this, I'm going to try to attack with the help action from the circle.

And Spritell is, so this is gobal. Spritell is flashing bright lights in the spider's face. Cool, we're at the spider now. It does look like one of those flashing orbs from Spencer's gears at this moment. Does a 17 hit? 17 does not hit.

Oh, see, it's got like this. What the fuck is going on with this? Harding to care, piss. not hit. Oh, it's got like what the fuck is going on with this hard-earned carapace. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, up into the air and he goes I was actually lying when I said I would join your side. I would never join your side You see once again the pop-up dragon I think even we are one we are not fighting. I'm going to cast dragons breath on you just to hear that pro wrestler voice a pop-up dragon breathes fire down onto Pop-up dragon breeds fire down onto the spider. Spider makes some scared, crazy skittering sounds. They get a dexterity save, though, to get out of the way.

I can't roll for shit today. That's a natural seven. Mrs. Bates, I'm just going to use the fire. 16 damage, 16 fire damage. Jesus. Yeah, Bookfarer just kicks this thing's ass. That is spider's turn. The spider is going to continue taking some attacks on Fia. First things first, going to spit venom at Fia. Bleh!

God damn it, natural three misses. Just spittles up, like just throws up a little bit. Just on the ground, it's wrong. You know, at least he's honest Then it's going to make a bite attack goes at you with the mandibles Good God I can't roll above a six today that's a natural four. Yes. The second dice of fucking throwing guys keep the dice Bites twice and misses. I've been sitting here with shield and but you are not even asking me to use it I think you're with shield, but you're not even asking me to use it. No, no, no, situation where I could like, take another button off my coat and load it into the gun and fire it? No, absolutely it does not.

I told you. If you want to have an Alchemist so you can like make things, you don't have to be God damn Bugs Bunny. Sir, I think so. I mean if you keep him with a button, it probably just be silly anyways. I don't even think it does Von Danage. I think it's T-Cole, set them all. Henry sees you doing that and yells, Zerk, don't, it's too powerful!

Dirk, please take pity on the spider! It would be the equivalent of one of those Nerf disc guns. If you would like to, on your first turn, try to hurt the spider with a disco light and then on your second turn shoot a McButton at them you're more than welcome. Oh Henry, that's a good point. I should use one of the frozen hot dogs in the gun Those are pretty later. You six on a bit Probably toast it up quite nice. Okay, actually. Yes, take a moment. I'll fire a hot Sit up quite nice. Okay, actually yes take a long your mouth All right, we'll try that experiment later for now. I'm just gonna use my crossbow And I'm gonna from range fire my crossbow great later. We do all want to be shot in the face with a hotdog I absolutely do take a

One shot dog and turn it into a hot dog. Please. Thank you. Yes The only way I will eat going See mom this is what this gun should be used for not violence All right, I'm gonna make an attack right Hell yeah, that is going to be a 22 superheads. That is not great. That's just five damage. Okay the same damage that Sprydall did we're on the same page today I Think Sprydall will need to just use their action. I'll use my bonus action to tell Spritele to keep assisting Fia. Okay, right on. Oh, thank you. So Spritele keeps flashing the lights in the

view. If you could do your best to avoid hitting the silk glands, the silk glands are super important. Okay. Just hands off the spinneret as they say. Great, yeah, so considering I missed last time, I think I'm just gonna try to hit. You do you, Henry, that's your turn. Cool, I hop over into the mix and this is cool, huh? Strobe light, feels like I start doing a dad dance.

Nice. We're partin, huh? Fear has never seen dancing really before in like, to like, her and arena dance together but like children. So this is what a adult dance like to her. So she's very impressed. Yeah, it's important to keep your fist clenched very tight. They're tensed in the shoulder.

Shelders creeping up towards your ears. It looks like you're gonna pull every muscle, sir. Like you're holding in and then you bob side-faceted. A look of insecurity across your face. Yes, that's right. That's right. Let's again, considering joining the spider side. Wait, wait, wait till I punch it in the silk gland.

This is for Zerk. No. It's a dirty 20. It's, yeah. That is 13 damage. Damn, this thing's starting to look pretty messed up. What Henry, as you swing into it with the claws, just explosion of toxic goo comes from it.

Blah! Oh! Smells foul. Go ahead and give me a deck save. Is this shampoo? It's most definitely not shampoo. Shampoo? Yes, but I get a peptide.

I think it's shampoo. You got to add some other stuff in there before it's ready to be used as shampoo. Do not put in that in your hair, Henry. It's only a 13. That is a failure. You take seven damage and you are poisoned Henry. You have disadvantaged.

Wait, but isn't he already though? Like, poison just means like disadvantage on everything. Disadvantaged on attacks. But he already has. He does not have disadvantage on attacks. Now he does. Oh, okay. Now he does.

Okay, well let's see how I'm going to use the total package. I'm going to unleash my incarnation again and see if Shankin him from the other side with Disadvantaged is shank also dad dancing There he goes. He's still got it when I'm doing the lawn mower. I'm not I just feel like I feel like the normal amount of shit like how I wake up and I'm tired no matter how no matter how much I sleep You got to teach me that move your knees are like the rusty springs of a trampoline that's been left out in the rain.

Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, that about explained it. Oh, wow, even with this advantage, Shank rolled an 18. 18 hips, because we're dancing, and that's 14 damage. Right on, that is back up to Fia. OK, Sprydle, take me home. I absolutely miss a game. Oh my god!

Devastating, but I can use my bonus action, because I don't have to use a bonus action for Dragon's Breath, so I will use my bonus action to attack again this time without disadvantage, and I fucking crit! Whoa! Yay! Wow, wow, wow, that's what we're talking about. 18 damage from Fia! Fia? Finish this spider.

Okay, I'm going to call in book for my little prerestler. I need your fire. Yes, of course, ma'am. I suppose I could provide the flames. Oh my god. Just breathes down into the spider. I realized Shank never rolled a dexterity saving throw for the poison. So real quick, I want to see if Shank survives this. Go ahead and roll Dex save for Shank. Shank rolled a 21 on the deck.

That's 21. Okay, so I will say, yeah, this spider, we'll count this towards like the kind of finishing maneuver so you see as bookvar breathes fire down onto the spider you see it begins to expand you guys are able to dodge out of the way even shank with the with the sprained ankle is able to roll out of the way. He's just electric slide out of the way. Oh my God.

This thing explodes in a spray of venomous sludge. Oh. Gather it up, gather it up. Please don't touch that papa. You do not have in the files for all this good. Well, just don't just stand there, Sprite will help me. Help, help you, help you what.

Give me a vile, I will mage hands. I will collect it with mage hands. Oh my god. Oh my god. Actually, can I put some on my blade for the next time I heat? Oh shit. I'll say if you guys wanna save some,

you can absolutely like collect it in some vials. Okay, I use my mage hand like it's buttering bread, but it's smearin' poison on my chest and play it. The rub your, whoa, soared around in this goo. I'm gonna put some on my claws. Yeah, I get my arrows in it. Sweet.

So, dust has settled here, you guys. We're right next to your camp. It's just this stinking, festering pile of poison poison. Oh no! There is poison in the sleeping trenches. Book for Rima's dig anew. Why do you look so happy about that? Dig it wide and dig it deep so that we can go to sleep. More body is going to sleep miss. More body is going to sleep. It's time for another funeral. A funeral in the morning, a funeral at night. Tonight we die tomorrow, we are reborn. I'm starting to get into it.

The, um, Fiya does her haunted child game and digs new ditches. Incredibly fast. I mean, my God. So you guys, um, go to bed again. Who is, is somebody else going to take a watch? I'll take this watch. I should have taken it before but Henry, thank you so much for staying up and keeping us safe. Henry's passed that with a hot dog in his mouth. He's going to a joke on that to the sleep. We know this. We need to lay him on his side if he's going to eat hot dogs in his sleep.

I tried it. I tried to grab at it and it's like frozen to his mouth. All right, I'm on watch. Sprite all your hot dog watch. We'll do. He's not breathing. That's normal. Sweet, I'm going to go ahead and roll a little encounter check during the first watch for Zerk here. Zerk you stay up while the other two go to sleep. It is uneventful. You give enough time that Fia is able to get a bunch of sleep.

You go to sleep, Fia wakes up, Fia, your watch is also uneventful. You're able to get a full night of sleep, Henry's able to get a full night of sleep. Zirk only needs to get a few hours, and you guys all wake with the sun rising. Who wants shot dogs? I do.

Morning shot dogs, let's do it. Yeah, opens wide. Okay, here we go. Dude, use my little tusks like goal posts. Oh wow. I'll shoot it in an arc so it doesn't kill you. And for my uvula, it wings if you hit it. This is the perfect way to test the efficiency of my mom's fur.

Go ahead and give me a Slight of hand check with disadvantage, sir. There you got it boss. Damn with disadvantage, I still get a 19. Cool. You roll good when it matters. That's what we care about. You, you aim the hot dog.

Uh, you put, you put gunpowder into the gun. You put a hot dog into the gun. Um, you shoot it like a shot gun. Uh, it explodes into a bunch of hot dog pellets and just absolutely covers Fia and Henry and everybody inshredded greasy hot dog juice. Damn, I feel bad I forgot the sum in shank for that. We are going to hear about it and I'm going to enjoy it.

It's gonna be juicy. Much like this hot dog. Okay, I guess so bullets maybe for the gun next time, huh? Thea touches the Frank Futter cast Mending and then eats it. Oh, good idea. You found the infinite hot dog hack and you meant a little piece of hot dog and turned it into a full hot dog. Oh, it's like worms. If they divide, you can make little smokies out of one big hot dog hack and you meant a little piece of hot dog and turn it into a full hot dog. Oh, it's like worms.

If they divide, you can make little smokies out of one big hot dog. We can save the world. Okay, well, beginning of the day. All right. Is it just more mountains to climb? I'm looking ahead. Yeah, so you guys have 25 more miles.

You guys have made it halfway. You still got to do checks for mountain climbing and whatnot. Is there anything you guys want to do before you leave for the day? You guys have gotten a full night of sleep. You guys have all your spell slots back, all your health back. The levels of exhaustion are gone. Very important that I immediately use my claws to make cutoff shorts. Right.

He's in prime for hiking. Around yetis and in the snow capped mountains. You instantly, as soon as you cut your pants, you feel the cold, the chill against your legs. You instantly feel your skin blister. Okay. I can bite through this. Vietaic's Henry aside, Mr. Henry. Did you make a mistake?

I can cast Mending to make them full again. It looks like perhaps you are a Regretted this decision. I won't make a big deal about it just me and you. You know I think I could hack it but at the same time I think it's good to set a good example for everybody and we shouldn't have shorts on in the snow caps. So let's go ahead and quickly do the men thing. And if you could mend my socks as well and make them bigger and thicker, that would be good. Real quickly I mend the pants, I go to the socks, I cannot do it, I don't know.

The arcane. Your socks are too holly. Could this be the source of the curse? I've changed my socks in a very long time. Yeah, you smell a disgusting waft coming from Henry's unchanged socks, but you're able to successfully fix the paint. They're part of my feet. While we're having our little morning campfire, could I try and make some ammunition? Yeah, definitely I would say this is not a very difficult thing for you to make sir

So go ahead and just make like a tinkering check Shout out to the two crew can I guess guidance on him for this? Yeah, I can look over a shoulder I have really beat the bad guys Okay, I mean I get to roll again. You roll another D4 so you get Yeah, you can add a D4 to it. Okay, so that's a two proficiency plus intelligence is gonna be six so that's eight and then let me roll D4 Okay, so if you get two or higher, I'll let you make some bullets. I'll say it was DC 10. That's a three Wait, you are able to make a couple little balls of ammunition.

I'll say a D4, you make three little bullets. And the way your pistol's gonna work, I think alchemists technically do not have proficiency with martial weapons, but I'll say you can't wield like a big like musket or something, but like a little pistol, like a little sidearm you can do. It's gonna take you a full action,

every time you reload it, it's like a single shot thing. Okay. But it's a good way to kick off the battle. So it's a D10 plus your Dex modifier. That's great. So it's good. So you'll need an action to reload it, but if you load it now, it will be ready

for your first round of combat. So, score things off with a bang. Right on. Maybe I'll give it a sprytle. I'll give the child a gun. Please, please don't give me a gun, Papa. That was a test, did you pass? Right on. Cool.

Oh, and I'll roll my elixir real quick. Right on. Nice. That's going to be a healing potion. Perfect. Oh, that's pretty nice to have. I think I got most of the toxin out of this one. It should be perfectly balanced. It might just be shampoo.

We'll find out. Yeah, you were out of vials after all the goo you scooped last night. So you just had to watch this one real good before you put the healing potion in. All right, yeah, ready to go? Fia has been pacing, ready to go for a vial. All right, and go. Break off into a sprint. Like a horse out of the gate.

Let's go ahead and get back into rolling for our amountins. I believe we were on Caldwell. Caldwell, go ahead and roll me a D2. One T for the five mile stretch from 25 to 30. All right, I'm going to roll green one, green, for nature. Okay, nice. One through seven is a mountain. Shout out to the two crew.

Good Lord! Up and up and up, and up, boy, my glad I'm wearing pants. Valdory, Valdora. Immediately, I have to go to a higher altitude, even more snow. The thick snow is like up to your knees, Henry. You would have absolutely not made it.

You would have died. I look at Fian and I nod. I put my fingers to my lips to say, this is just between us, my love on those. Sweet. So yeah, you guys come upon another rock wall. Looks about as difficult as the first one that you flew over yesterday.

That's perpendicular. Definitely a tough mountain. Not exactly as bad as the one that Zerk almost got eaten by a vulture on, but still a pretty tough one. So let me know how you guys proceed and who is climbing first or if you guys are doing

anything to get over it. I'm casting bless. Well, I think we might reach our destination if we do well today. So I might want to conserve some of my magic. So I don't know if we're going to be able to use the potion hack again to fly up there. Okay. Can I can I do something like some in shank and just have shank like climb below zerk. And that way, if anything happens to Zirk, where Zirk is falling, I can swap places with Shank. Oh, wow. Interesting, yes, I will allow that. I'll say you're essentially going to have to have your shadow

be able to use strength, to be able to help in any way. I'll say you're gonna need to embody him, but yeah, you can switch places with him. So I'll say, if you guys wanna climb the same way as last time, it'll be Henry first, and Fiya then Zirk, and then Shank. I should be in the middle, because if someone starts to fall,

I can always cast floating disc under them to catch them. And so I should be equidistant from you. Nice. Great, can you just put Shank on my back like when people go parachuting, but they're not confident enough to parachute on their own? Yes, you guys can go tandem. I think he will require one shot bug.

This is gonna be so awful for my back to just be climbing with somebody in a baby Björn. He's a really good climber. You didn't see it yesterday. My fingers are very spindly. I can get him in the cracks. It's just, I'm incredibly weak as the problem, Shane. Yeah, hear that.

Okay, Henry, go ahead and make your athletics check. 10. 10. Henry, you do not do it on the first one. I'll say there's really no purpose in making you guys keep rerolling the first one. So I'll say if you failed the first climb, you're just gonna take some damage as you struggle.

I'll say you kind of pull like a muscle in your arm as you go up. Oh, that was a pulley. That is three damage to you, Henry. But you're able to get up to the first marker. Fiya, that's your turn. You've got hot dog grease all over your hands, Henry. Okay, nine plus five, 14.

Fiya, you successfully get up there without getting any kind of injury. Henry is making his way up. Fiya is right behind. Zirk, go ahead and give me a athletics or acrobatics check. That is a nine. A nine, okay. You are also going to take damage

as you and Shank struggle. You see, basically what's happening is Shank is climbing, but your face is just grinding against the rocks as he climbs the rocks. What do you want me to do, buddy? You just gotta climb yourself. Back up, just back up. I push it.

You guys should switch. Shank is camping chooses, all right? You got got a pick one put zork in the be order the other he isn't The other way you'll go the be your maybe you're in the I should be you gotta get in the be on all right all right. Hey God let me put my pick in this is gonna be a tough Fire up your switch. We're doing a mid-mount beyond switch I don't know about this Just banging Zurke into the rocks Zurke take seven damage sure But you guys all make it up to the The first little marker it'll be a little harder to get up from here. You'll actually

need to succeed Two out of three failures on that. Yeah, Henry, that's your turn. Try and get up. Love the mountain there. That's 14. 14, you successfully make it up to the next little checkpoint. Fiya, that's you.

You hear a shank and zirke loudly arguing, yelling up to Henry, are you with him? The straps are too tight. I don't hear anything. I'm totally tunnel vision. I'm in climbing mode. I got a 21. Oh my God, Feece. Nice.

You spin the little limbs, creeping up the mouth with face. I turn back to say, you're doing okay, Fee, and then I, oh, I oh wow your next to me Your your Supposed to be ahead of me. Yeah You looking it almost looks like there is a spider following you you see like on Naturally like basically like legs up above her head as she like moves her hips inside and really back swinging motions Equally unblinking, guys.

Yeah. Also pointy teeth. Zerk, that is your turn. OK, here we go. OK, Murf, you got a rule on this. I was trying to roll the dice, and it slipped out of my hands, and then it bounced off of my zoom recorder, and it landed on the ground, and it landed on the table.

And I got a one. OK. Yep, no, you're going to fall. I'm going to say it. Yep. No, you're gonna fall As I'm zirke and Shank try to switch where they're standing you see zirke fully falls off Fia go ahead and give me a strength saving throw I'll try to hold zirke and play so this I will apply my guidance. I mean, my bless to. Correct. 17 plus 3, dirty 20.

Oh yeah. You hold Zirk up. You're able to dig your pick into it. And yeah, you stop him short. Zirk, you are going to take. This is why you don't do the mid-mountain Bjorn switch. Right? You don't skewer the Bjorn it was your Ideas it was my idea to do it the best and it was our idea we

Push them into it you wanted me to help him If we just stuck with the plan from the beginning he wouldn't have fell with the plan from the beginning he wouldn't have fell. Zerke, you take five damage. Henry, what is your shadow smell so bad? I can unsome in him, but I actually think you could die. You sprayed me with goddamn hot dog juice. I thought you'd like that. Why?

You like hot dogs? Zerke, go ahead and make another attempt. There we go. That's a 16. 16. Zerke, you successfully make 16. 16, Zerke. You successfully make it, all right. So yeah, Shank, if you just, we move our hands in tandem,

we just act like we've got eight arms, okay? You see what I'm saying? Why is everybody being a spider right now? I'm just gonna, I'm gonna climb up my own pace. You guys figured out, all right? You got the spider, Shank. You see Fia looking at the rope on her waist, wondering if it's her web.

Okay, if become what I killed last night. Henry that's your turn. That's really supposed to be tied into something. Oh my god. I just ran around one thigh. That is a 15. 15 Henry you successfully make it all the way up to the top. I will say with Henry at the top you guys can roll your athletics checks with advantage from here. Once again able to find like a tree up here, tie it around the base and help kind of pull them. Fia, that's you. We did vantage. Thank you because the other one was a three. I got, oh actually maybe, 15. 15, Fia, you make it up. Zirk, that you Henry Shane keeps licking my face tell him to stop. I absolutely

I'm not doing that Then what is that wet sensation? There's a fucking goat To see yeah, there's just a goat out on a branch Looking like it's all you say the goat doing an exploratory Scraples back down scoops the baby go Exploratory Oh my god, what a sweet little baby goat. It's so tiny. Oh You don't need to save the goat miss it lives on the mountain. It's fine No, the god was teetering over it's not death. I will save you

You're going to kill it, miss. Shank, thank you for saving me from that hungry goat. Like, he looks fine. Okay. Well, I rolled a natural one, but I did roll again with advantage. That's going to be a 17. Nice. I managed to make it all the way to the top. I'm inspired by the goat.

Yeah, I did roll two ones on your way. He starts me. Scramble up. I'll say you fully need to be like pulled up a little bit by those guys like you do one slip. You're about to go. These guys are able to catch you and look at the hang of it.

You're able to climb back up. You see the goat gallops off. I'm sorry. Where are you going? I will save you. I will give you a life, I hope. This is where the goats live. It's fine.

I would bridle you and the ride you. Fia, I noticed that you scramble down and say that goat while I was suffering along the way. Well, you know, one of you makes milk the other dozens. I understand. You know what? Maybe one day I can find a potion or a magical way to make milk, but until then you made the right decision. Sweet guys, you guys are 30 miles in. Bad luck on your first roll. Jake, let's do another roll. All right.

That is a nine. Nine. You guys are good. Uneventful Next five miles. Thank you Henry. Just a great Saturday hike. I could almost go back to the shorts. The sun's shining. Wait, thanks, er, wait a minute, Henry, I've got a great idea. I want to use tinkering to create zippers for Henry shorts. Perfect. Wow, I retract my claws and I unzip. I quit the podcast. Because we've peaked. Yeah. And no surprise that we peaked on the mountain.

Yes. Holy shit. Back up to Fia, Emily, go ahead and roll next five miles. 15. 15. Love it. You guys are doing good. You guys have gone 15 miles.

Feels like you've gone 20. You guys are getting quite tired. Having to walk a little gingerly again on that ankle. You're starting to feel it again, Henry. Back down to Caldwell, go ahead and give me a roll for. Do I have to? Actually, you don't, I guess. If you would like to be skipped, I pass.

No, it's good. Jake, go ahead. No, no, no, no.. If you would like to be skipped, you guys, I pass. No, it's good. Jake, go ahead. No, it feels like the pressure is really on. Yeah, the pressure is on. That's another nine. Nine, perfect. There we go. Right decision.

So you guys easily, well, not easily, easy for adventurers, I would die in real life. You guys do another tough five miles, and you guys make it 45. But yes, legs are burning now. You guys are getting very tired. Go ahead and let's start doing constitution saving throws. It's going to be eight plus one for each mile

you try to do beyond 25 today. Okay. Can I cast a bless on us for this? Yes, I will say it's gonna need to be you're gonna need to do bless It only lasts a minute, so it's gonna be each time you go a mile you have to do it One time okay the first one I will do this okay cool all right all right here we go Con saves give them to me shout out to the two crew good. God. It's only it's only a DC nine though. Oh, all right So actually so that's an eight and then with bless you literally can't fail so you're good so Henry makes it Henry's making it way harder than it needs to be

I'm doing that hiking thing that I do where he holds his knees with his hands as he goes uphill 15 for fear fear makes it without injuring yourself. Greasy 20 for Zirk. Greasy 20. Oh, thank you. Even better than a stinky seven. Guys, give me another con saving throw as you guys travel up through the mountains.

Oh, do I do the blast again? Not gonna need it for me, that's a nat 20. Nat 20, you make it. I'll say, anytime you guys get a nat 20, I'll say you can give the help action to somebody who looks like they're struggling. So if one of these guys fails, they can roll again. I'm pleased here.

I actually am good. Okay, Fiya, I'm good as well. Great. I'll turn around again. Fiya, you need that, oh, you're ahead of me. There we go. Mr. Henry, why ever look behind for me? Always look forward for me.

That makes sense. She's up the tree. Oh my God. Yes, I had to do something while I was waiting for you to catch up. Climate tree. Something to do with all this energy. Did you build a little birdhouse in there?

Well, it actually was going to be a house for book for now. You ruined the surprise. Oh, this. I love it. Are you abandoning him? Please don't leave me in it. Please don't make me live in. Oh, this. I love it. Are you a bad-tuning him? Please don't leave me in it. Please don't make me live in the tree, man.

No, no. It was just a very little play in between... ...thrudgery. I ruined so many moments. Why, that negative self-talk, Henry. Sorry, sir. Turn it around. DC11 can't save everybody.

Oh, baby, I got a 19. That works. That'll do it. Okay, I got an 11. Sweet, 16 for Zirk. You guys passed the 47 mile mark. I bon truckin. Mile 48.

You guys saw all of us. Go ahead and give me another Con saving throw. This one is DC 12. Fuck. 18. Oh, it's just an eight for Zirk. Okay. Do we have, do we have Bless on this one?

Or is this, you guys do not have Bless? I will do Bless for the next bundle. Okay, cool. All right. That's only a 10 for me. Okay, so Henry and Zirk start to feel it. It has passed the 48 mile marker. You're on to 49.

Now we have Bless. Now you guys have Bless, you guys have disadvantage on checks, but not saving throws. You can still perturb. I just crit, baby. Oh, hell yeah, that's very cool. Yeah, somebody can reroll if they fail. Okay. Should be okay, that's a 16.

16 is gonna pass. 18 for Zirk. 18 passes, you guys are on to the 50 mile marks. Yes, we'll get you guys to the cliff. One more, bless. Okay, yes. Nice, 17. 17, you pass, 12 Okay. Yes. Nice. 17 17 you pass 12 for Zirk 18 18 12 is going to fail so Zirk is you didn't did you do your bless your D4 when you got the 12?

I didn't oh I didn't as we were blessed that round. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a four so 16th then you pass Sirc so you guys all make it it's important to remember have blessed we are Truly appreciate your blessings Jerk shows his gratitude by ripping the last third off of his pants to make capris Let's do this We feel a chill down to your bones I'm not going to play in these pants games is snore on the ground Also, I look fucking fantastic the way I am bones. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you guys are at the base of a massive cliff shooting straight up into the clouds.

It's got no angle to it, very few handholds, and it stands like a barrier, a wall between you and the temple. I will say that, so Zirk has a level of exhaustion. Yes. Henry does as well. So you guys are going to do your climb checks, your athletics checks with disadvantage. Should we consider to take a rest? Yeah, we almost fall off the cliff when we climb it, you know, stand there. Yeah, my track record is not great. I think there's no way we get up otherwise. I will say as far as difficulty level, this looks about as tough as that first cliff that you guys actually had to climb that Zirk fell a bunch from. It looks as tough a climb as that, but also higher. So it will be more checks. The other option is we could do just two fly potions and then I constantly guidance myself

and chronal shift if I fuck up. I just worry that if I use that many potions, I won't be any use to us once we're actually inside the temple. So maybe we should save them up and just try and... Okay. ...hit it fresh tomorrow? Is that okay? I will say that if we spend the night here, it'll give us another chance to try and ascertain what's wrong with Henry.

What do you mean what's wrong? Oh, oh yeah, yeah. The fairy thing. Sorry. I'm fucking tired, man. That's all. It's okay. I phrased that poorly. What do you mean what's wrong? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah the very thing sorry I'm fucking tired man, that's okay. I phrase that poorly You guys start making camp at the base of this cliff down here is that okay? By the way, are y'all cool with making camp now? I didn't want to like wish us into a decision Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, okay. Are we aware of any kind of like Concern because I thought it was like we just need to make these 50 miles on in two days, but are we concerned about anything else?

You do know that the abominable Yeti will find you eventually, but I will tell you mechanically that it is essentially going to be doing checks and it gets easier with each day. Okay. Okay. That's fine with me. Yeah, I'm good with whatever. I feel like if we see the Yeti, we just run for the temple. I hope that it doesn't follow us inside. Can I open up Valk and try to see anything about Valk? Come here, come here, you little beast.

I need to get, I need some information from you. And can I try to look in Vk to see if there is anything, like, you know, if you were, if you hang like CDs around tomatoes, it keeps deer away. If we like, if there is something that like would be of putting to like a abominable Yeti. Go ahead and give me a nature check.

And I'll say you could do it with advantage with Volk. Volk helping you. Okay. Or BookFar helping you open Vulk. I'm not using the help action from VulkFar very much so I like to. Yeah he gets a team choice. He's good at like research stuff. 18 plus 422. You know that an abominable Yeti is going to be afraid of fire, just like the other Yetis. Okay, I go around and I make some fires to make a little circle around us.

Sweet, you guys make like a circle of torches around your little camp. Oh, that's home. Wow, this is atmosphere, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's warming on on the bottom part of my legs Ain't that the life, sir? Henry shorts. I've gotten shorter Oh fine. Okay, Fia cut booty shorts Does anyone else see the snow everywhere? And now that we have these tiki torches, it's like, okay, I guess I'm actually pretty warm So I'll get the water. Yeah, I could make a margarita, you know?

Yeah, I love it that when it comes to fashion, you sprint there too. Exactly. I can also maybe try and cast some snares around, so that we'll be safe. Yes, that's the big one. I can just magically secure some ropes in the tree, so that hopefully anything that tries to approach us

will get swooped up by that. Sweet. Cool. Yeah, you spend some time. I guess, is that an ability or do you want to make some like nature checks? It's a spell sweet. So I'll just I'll put three snares out right actually I'll do two snares So yeah, I'll say you guys are up against the cliff on the one side So you don't have to worry about that and then you do a snares at like two ways with which enemies could approach your little camp I think I'm going to try to learn a spell while we are here and you do snares that like two ways with which enemies could approach your little camp. I think I'm going to try to learn a spell.

While we are here, I have a second level spells a lot to do it. And I'm going to try to learn Shatter because I'm not sure if there's going to be any excavation or required in this endeavor. Well, she does that. I will treat Henry's knees for Windburn. I definitely get it. 17 on the dice, so that's probably going to be it. Yeah, intelligence-safe. So you're good. You're able to successfully wrangle fill up after wrangling vulk. Just a bunch of poorly behaved books.

I'll yell at each other. Book of our trying to mediate. Library is a loud thing. Everyone knows this. This is why she wanted a pet goat. If you guys want to research the fairy book at all, or use any of your divination stuff to try to narrow it down, you may do that now as well. Yes, should we try automagian, Fiya? Yes, try autom, yeah.

So we're okay. Shall I summon Shanks so someone can sniff him or put him in a vial or anything, and send for food. I actually already kind of did my no stuff to him. All right, cool. And I'm just gonna summon him for the camp food. Yeah.

If the hot dog grease really did a number on him, I don't know if you're gonna be able to get a clean read. Just the hot dog diet that you guys are all on now, shanks just weeks of hot dogs. Is it crazy? I just like, while Zerg is doing this, I go to Henry. Is it crazy that I kind of like them frozen?

He's like a meat popsicle? You know, it's in line with a lot of other stuff that I've learned about you. And it's not crazy. It makes me unique. Yeah. I crunched down on a frozen fray fray. Oh, I can't watch you bite it.

I can't watch, but I like that that's your vibe. A freeze meat shirt. I skew it on one of my tusks and smile. Hank shudders deeply. A frozen treat for all the good children. A frozen treat for all the good children. A frozen treat made of meat. A frozen treat made of meat.

A frozen treat made of meat. tree to meet a frozen tree. We start dancing like girls doing ring around the pose. Yeah, they start going around in circles. It's haunting. And we have to give her a better life. Sterec, go ahead and roll in our cotton check. Okay, you take some of the shadow essence, and you put some of the fairy dust into it.

That is another natural one. We are, we are reaches into the fabric of time and you sort of yank son of Fred. Oh, that's a chrono shit. Zerk sees his own death for a second. Give that a reboot. Yes, Zerk, you see a monster, a devil, a inside the smoke that begins to try to take over your body

Now you see something different go ahead and roll me another stable what I do. It's probably bad Natural deeply on the time devil You're so I have made a deal with the time devil and this is how I change time I saw the time devil it's a little less creepy than the dance you were doing with the book. You know the truth. It's true. You know what? I saw the time devil and that's bad. But it real, I realize if I had gone with the experiment this way, we might have exploded.

So, thank you to the time devil. All right. God, thank you for that chronal shift. That is a 17 plus six. Whoa, sweet. Zirk, you successfully performed this ritual and you see the vial of this smoke turns blue, which means no. So it is not an autumn candy.

If it's blue, you issue. If it's red, that's what I said. Of course. That's what Kenley told me. Wow, Kenley is a poet. He said he wrote it himself. This is so interesting to me. Yeah, I was almost certain it was going to be autumn. Yeah, the whole shadow thing.

I am glad that my instinct did not lie to me before. But no, it makes me wonder. Henry, Henry, go ahead and give me an insight check. Okay. I think it must be summer then. 16? 16? 16.

Henry, it occurs to you that as you guys are talking about this last time when you were researching the Autumn Fairies, you saw that there was a shadow section but didn't see anything about it that was similar to what Henry was going through. So it was a bit of a red herring. Henry, you think about it that was similar to what Henry was going through. So it was a bit of a red herring. Henry, you think about it and you realize that this stuff with your shadow acting up did not start happening until the prophet Kane tried to rip it away and it kind of occurs to you that that might not be part of the curse. The curse is

the reincarnation of reliving the same life over and over again. Shank is helpful. Shank, even when Shank turns into the creepy old version of you and tries to like warn you, Shank is trying to help you. Yeah. Shank's not the curse. Yeah. Mr. Henry, have you been leaving the same life when you remember other lives? Is it the same story and narrative?

Or are you just the same person? It's... Is it groundhog day? Is what I'm asking. No, it's... Each life is different, but I behave the same cowardly way. So you know, it's crazy as it sounds. Hi. That's the curse and...

So it's kind of like a shank- Cloud Atlas thing. I'm thinking that then summer seems right, because what's happening to you does not feel like chaos or mischief, it feels like anger and wrath, doesn't it? because what's happening to you does not feel like chaos or mischief, it feels like anger and wrath, doesn't it? And what's spring? A spring, the band would be mischief and chaos and drama, but I do not really sense, we keep making jokes about drama between you and Shank, but this is more, maybe, for fun.

Fia, go ahead and give me a history check. I'll say you look through the book as you guys are talking about this stuff. 17 plus 6 23. 23. Fia, you realize that while the bones and the veins kind of give like an overview of some of the things you could expect, there are also other ways in which the fairies can curse you and stuff. So you do realize that spring does have a birth element to it. Oh, rebirth. You could have been cursed from when you were born. This could be something that

you're whoever gave birth to you, wrong wronged someone and then you as a child were cursed for it. Yeah, or the rebirth and the reincarnation and living the same goddamn pitiful existence again and again and again. Okay, then maybe it is spring. So you guys consider this. Yeah, and it is spring you guys research through the book You guys cannot test this hypothesis tonight But you know for sure we can just we can just sit with certainty you Simmer with anticipation. Oh no shank was one of my This episode of nad pod is brought to you by bird dogs

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That's birddogs.com slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't wanna take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. As you guys go to bed for the night, what order are you guys staying up in? I'll take the first watch again. I'm okay with that.

Okay, Zirk likes to stand up late. Uh, so we'll do Zirk, then Henry, then Fiya. Perfect. Yes, this looks for me. I will say, Zirk, go ahead and give me a role. Um, I'm not going to tell you what it's for. It is not a perception check. That is a nine?

Nine. Okay. Zirk, your, um your watch is uneventful. Henry, that is your turn. Henry, go ahead and give me a roll. It'll watch. Not telling you what it's for, just a little bit of a luck check. I'll say with perception checks, you guys are mostly right now.

The fire around you guys is protecting you from yetis and things like that, but it's also making it harder to see into the darkness so you're kind of just listening. You don't really hear anything with your passive perception, but give me a luck check essentially. A luck check is an eight. An eight, okay, Henry goes to sleep, Fio wakes up, Fia, go ahead and give me a rope.

10. 10, okay, oh. sleep, feel wakes up, via go head and give me a rope. 10. 10. Okay. Ooh. I will tell you guys what that was now. It was good that you guys all rolled low. Those were perception checks for the abominable Yeti. Oh.

Oh. It was trying to find you. Wow. That was fucking sad about that, eh? So it's DC goes down by the third day, but it did not hit its perception checks on any of those things. So I'll even say you guys here in the deep distance,

the sound of this crazy, abominable Yeti, The sound of this crazy, abominable Yeti sounds stronger, bigger than the other Yeti that you fought, but it sounds pretty far away. The deep distance, that's where you want those sounds coming. Exactly, just like quietly, quiet little hot dogs, quiet little hot dogs. So it seems to be trying to trail you, but seems to be pretty far away. And if anything, that yell, that roar might have been, it getting frustrated.

Finally, rolling bad helps us. Yeah. That's why I've been dropping hot dogs left and right all over the place, chucking them into the woods. Huh? Henry, that's our food, that's all our food. That's my sweet frozen treat. Henry, Henry unknowingly, Hansel and Gretel, this Yeti. Off in the mountains eating hot dogs.

Gretel, the Yeti. Sweet guys, so you guys are at the base of this cliff. This looks like the biggest one that you guys have done. Yes. Get those pitons out. It looks like a long pants day, family. Oh, these two legs, I gave myself booty shorts. And you know what?

All for one one for all. Now you take it back, you make it a trend, and then the trend changes. That's not how trends work. Henry cuts his shorts shorter. We're in this changes. That's not how trends work. Henry cuts his shorts shorter. We're in this together. Let's give our pants bangs. You see, yeah, a single testicle pops out.

Oh, sure. Sure. Sweet. So I'm assuming you guys are gonna go up in the same order. Yes. I'm going to also use bless. Thank you. Henry, go ahead and make the first climb check you guys wake up in

the morning refreshed yes 14 you are able to make progress we'll say you kind of always pass the first one but how difficult it is is gonna do some damage to you because it's no fun to just have you guys all have the bottom failing and falling down and doing it again. 14 failed. 14 fails. This is a tough one. Oh damn. Henry, you take nine damage. Oh boy. Oh.

As you climb up, I'll say yeah, you use the pick. You get into some loose rocks and you see a bunch of rocks fall back into you. Oh. Okay. So Henry hits the first peak. Henry actually give me a perception check 15 15 Henry you see

Not directly in the line that you're climbing but a little bit off to your left about 25 30 feet away. You see a little cave like a hole, and outside of it, you see the thick webs of another one of these giant spiders. You do not see the spider, but it looks like a nest of some sorts. All right, not a good look.

I communicate that with like pointing at my eyes and clicking and pointing. with pointing at my eyes and clicking and pointing. You see him just up the 100 feet clicking. Can I send? Before Fia goes, can I send Bookfar up to Rican on the mountain like in Assassin's Creed? Oh my God. Yeah, I mean, he can fly. on the mountain like in Assassin's Creed Odyssey. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean, he can fly.

So he flies up. Fiya, go ahead and give me a perception check for BookFar. 15. 15. Fiya BookFar flies up. BookFar has to fly up several hundred feet. As he passes the one cave he also clicks He makes a little spider pop up out of the picture book

I keep flying up a book fart you you're looking through bookfars vision. You do not see the spider The spider looks to be in the cave. You just see webs. But as Bookfarr flies up and gets to the top of the mountains, Bookfarr flies past a giant, a giant humanoid, a cyclops,, large eye. You see, it is pale skinned and dirty. Where's a pair of these raw hide boots and what is essentially a kil't made of animal hides? Like massively built with a ponytail

poking out of its otherwise bald head. Huge eye in the center of its face. It looks like might have seen you guys like last night or something, and it's like creeping up there, like looking down, but does not see book far as book far flaps up. Okay, book far flies back down. I relay this information that we have a welcoming committee. Mm-hmm. Okay. Wow. Okay. Now did it look like he had made the kill to himself?

It absolutely did. Okay. Well patchwork quilt. Oh, we've got another fashion designer. This one we will say. Very cool. Now do you want me to do my athletic shirt? Yeah, go ahead and make your athletic shirt climb. 15. 15 makes it up successfully. Oh, okay. Yep, 15. That's what we should for. 15 is the one to make it up without getting damaged. Sirk, that is your turn. Okay, I get shanked to stretch out my calves. All right, no Bjorns is time at all. We're going Bjornless.

We're just going up, we're going up loose, but also tight to the mountain, not so loose that we fall off, but loose that we don't pull muscles. All right, Sirk, go to style, baby.o-sto that we don't pull muscles. All right, jerk. Goat style, baby Save the gods That is an 18. Oh, that's 21. There you go. Keep it loose boys. You are Are able to get up to this first point. That is back up to Henry. Zirk licks a little salt off the side of the mountain.

That's a little tulus. Tulus down there. That's a Nat 20. Whoa. Yes. Yes, baby. Henry, I will say hiking dead. Henry, you get up to the second checkpoint here.

And with a Nat 20, I'll say if somebody fails, they can reroll, you can catch them. You're climbing with such gusto that it's kind of giving the help action to the people below you. What's the freeing air flowing through my groin? Yeah, that is your turn. Feel you have a terrible view. I can see every Mr. Henry. Okay, this is going to be a nine.

A nine is not going to do it, but you can really roll because of Henry's, yeah, don't, hey, don't fall too far behind there. I look up into these testicles, inspired. Inspired with the climb by a spade. I don't know if I can. A 13. Okay, a 13. He's my only fire to not find God 13 okay 13 I will say only failing by a few is gonna allow you guys to Progress, but you're going to take damage as you do it. So this is you like straining your muscles having a hard time You take nine damage Fia

As you make it up to the next level, Zirk, that is your turn. What do you see, Fiya? The face of God. Where? And where your balls are hanging out. Oh, come on. You could have said something earlier.

Where? Who bulging eyes? The bulging eyes of God. Is this the true face of the time, Devil? That is it. Well for Zirk? Okay, Zirk, that is not enough for you to fall or anything, but I will say the same thing I said for Fia, which is that you can progress, but are going to take some damage. Okay. That is only three damage for you, Zerk.

But Zerk, go ahead and give me a perception check as you climb to the second checkpoint. That's going to be a 19. 19. Zerk, you see the little glowing eyes of this giant spider coming out of this hole as you pass by. I got more vials ready for you, Big fella. You make it up to the second checkpoint. Henry, that is your turn. I do relate to them that the spider is eyeing us. Okay, so let's, let's sum it.

Let's get up there. That's a 15. 15, Henry. You make it up, but Henry, as you are like facing the mountain and making sure you've got like your holds in as you climb up, you make it to this next checkpoint. You look down below, you see Fia and Zirk down there, but then you see the cyclops poke its head over the cliff at the top

and you hear its voice booming through the mountain No more people No more no more. Hey Couldn't agree more, buddy. I'm a introverted, isn't it? No more! Yeah! No more!

We're gonna come up there and help you keep all the people away. No problem. No! Henry, I think you need to tip him. He's the as he's like setting the ropes. He grabs a giant boulder At hang no no no no it does make this attack roll It is quite far away, so it makes it with disadvantage

Boulder fucker Is going to only hot dogs a giant rock Literally hot dogs a giant rock at you. You're the one who's been littering hot dogs everywhere Planting them Ruts what Johnny hot dog seat That's a on the lower one. It's a 16 to hit. Does that hit you? Oh Yes, oh my god Yeah, you know, don't worry if this kills me,

I only get to come out and do it all over again. Just that perfect brand of Henry optimism, I've come to law. We will find you as a baby, Mr. Henry. We will find you. Just looking for the ugliest get at the nursing home. We've got the Bjorn already for you. That's 27 damage, Henry. Oh fuck this huge fucking rock Just flies down and fucking clocks you

Go ahead and give me a strength saving throw Henry to try to stay strength or deck saving throw Just try to stay on the mountain here. I'll use strength That is a 11. 11 is not going to do it. You guys see Henry above you begins to fall back. Chrono shift, but we need a better strength save. I think I would have Chrono shifted if I knew how much this boulder was going to be, but I did not know at this time.

I also saw the time devil. It looked like my nut. Time devil! Save my friend! You know I owe you my life. Why are you so wrinkly time devil? That's a 16. 16 passes. So I was being a little dramatic when I said that it was a boulder that it was throwing down. It was just a big old rock. So just pegs you with a fucking rock Yeah, congrats buddy

Okay, so we will just say cyclops essentially goes at the end of the order when you guys are done climbing Okay, so we will just say Cyclops essentially goes at the end of the order when you guys are done climbing I'm so and retakes this huge fucking hit at the third checkpoint. I'm I'm not dead He's that hurt Every soul is so hurt good God are you down? No, no, not down. Okay. Fia that is your turn. Okay I'm going to make my client check. Yep That's a 10 a 10 is not you have to fill by six or more to fall off. So now that we're like kind of in an initiative, we're not, we're gonna have you fail your check

so you don't get up to Henry. So you are stuck down at the second checkpoint on this initiative. Okay, but am I close enough to him to use Healing Word? Yes. Okay, I will use a second level Healing Word on Mr. Henry. Great. Whoa. eight. That's great Okay, that puts to be back at double digits. Okay, good. Um that is a zirke stern cool. I'll make my check. Yep

Nice that is a 21 sweet So with a 21 you and Fia I guess are gonna kind of shift spaces cool, so I'll take the middle spot. And Ken, I, as a bonus action, cast Sanctuary on Henry. Yeah. Cool. So you see. Lessing's on blessings on blessings.

Yeah. Spritele flies up and starts disco balling around Henry to kind of distract any attackers. Great. Okay, and absolutely having a concussion. Yeah, just bright lights near you. You've just been hit in the head with this rock. Sprite will drop a beat.

I will fix you, pop a Henry. So that is you, Henry, yeah. All right. Oh, good God. I rolled in that one. Whoa, what is wrong with us? You guys see Henry falls off. Henry, you're just like feeling...

Chrono ship, Chrono ship. Okay, Chrono ship. I think I have to use time soul. I know I'm going on you a lot today, but I need it. Selfless time devil. I don't know which fear you are in the pantheon time devil, but we need you. There we go.

That is, at least I wanna honor the Chrono ship by not feeling. That's at least I can possibly do. That's a 22. 22 super goodness. You make it up to the, not all the way to the top. Oh. But you are at the fourth checkpoint. You are now nearing the cyclops. Don't get any closer. I just want to bring you back your rock that you threw at me You don't have the rock it would be ridiculous for you to climb all the heavy rock Can you imagine though? Can you imagine? Why don't you let me up there? And I'll show you if I have the rock

That's funny man Cyclops humor I really love this guy can we please become friends with him? You've got a disco ball. You've got a sense of humor. We've got a disco ball I have a sprite in a little steampunk you I love making little guys go splat So we don't have the same sensibilities Comedically it's going to take a rock throw at I guess Henry's got sanctuary so wisdom saving throw okay on a field say the creature must choose a new target or lose the attacker spell right on

Okay, so we'll try it will be like You know I'm really starting to like you. Let's see if I run attack you will not That's a two on my Wisdom save which is a zero That's a two on my wisdom save, which is a zero. Um, I like you just fine. Is going to throw a rock and surf? Oh, you mean? Wait, no, I'm with him, I'm with him.

That hurts me by extension. You gotta go up to the one who controls the disco ball. Not the one who's with the disco ball. That sounds like the wisdom of someone with minus two Okay, um lower one Jesus is still gonna hit 18 to hit user unless you have a way ahead of it. Okay, oh my god It's a rock Or I

Devastating No motor chrono shifts, okay It's just so it's just so in elegant. It's just so, it's just so, and elegant. It's just like looking sidearm, looking rocks. Her. Wait, no, let me in the club. I can mix drinks for people.

Good God. 30 damage, Zirk. Oh no. Oh no. Zirk is down. Oh my God. Zirk goes down. See, he's tied in, right?

Zirk is in the middle now. Henry, go ahead and give me a strength saving throw to keep yourself holding on. Remember your blast, that a D4. Yeah, you see Zirk gets fucking clocked by this rock. It goes limp, falls off the fucking mountain, and now you guys have to hold him up. 17. 17 is going to pass. So you hold him.

Fia does not have disadvantage or anything. That is Zerks turn. Zerks go ahead and give me a death saving throw. Holy shit. Oh, well, I've been rolling pretty good thus far, so this should be fine. Oh my god, I got your friend. All right, this is actually not funny anymore. That's a nine. one fail it's one fail for sir. If you have a church

Okay, I will bonus action healing word mr. Zerke For what Cody's got rocks Heath points and I will try to make my essence Okay 11 plus 5. That'll do it. Really? Yeah, nice.

She does it. Fiya. I'm so sorry. I just like, I'm not a morning person. I'm like, so tired right now. What's more deadly? Viola or a mountain we have to climb? A mountain with a dude hucking rocks.

Oh, a big rock. Fiya and Zirk with a dude hucking rocks. A big rock. Fiya and Zirk, you guys make it up to the third checkpoint. Henry is up at the fourth checkpoint. That is Henry's turn. All right, I'm gonna keep on climbing. Great. Nice, that's a 19, that's a 25. Henry, you get all the way at the top

and you see this, this sideclops is here. I'll say you've had to use your action to do your full climb, but you get up next to the cyclops. Oh, hey buddy. Hey buddy, game's over, right? Right now, you see me nail that one guy? Can I use a bonus action to summon Shank up here with me?

Yeah, oh God, oh this dude's huge. Yeah. Look at him. This is the guy that threw a rocket me, man. Did you see that? Oh, you can't, nobody you nobody throws rocks at Henry except for me when he's sleeping That's and it's hilarious when he yeah If such a fun relationship, I'm loving the drama. Please live papa Keep dancing spryddle shank shank pops up. I'm cannot make it attack this round, right? That's right. Okay, sweet

So Henry's up there with the cyclops That is the cyclops is turned Is the cyclops gonna keep throwing rocks. I think he just thinks it's kind of funny to throw rocks at people Let's go for the freaking hat trick I just I kind of agree with him. Yeah, Coldwell has to agree. Sure, it doesn't think it's very funny I'm afraid to get up there and have a look Comedy happens in threes, so you make sense. He's gonna roll with disadvantage against Fia. Okay Lower one is a 17

Shield Oh nice nice you pass God arcane shield comes up blocks the rock it bounces off How many rocks does he have left? I see an arsenal. Mr. Henry, kick his rocks. It's a mountain, man. I think he has a lot. I was going to drop the rocks on you,

but I decided it would be funnier to make a phone. Where'd you buy these rocks, Jesus? Buy rocks? Mr. Deserck, you spend money on your rocks? Yeah, for science purposes. Dr. Ne a rock, you spend money on your rocks? Yeah, for science purposes, Dr. Neville is always getting in shipments of rocks. Okay, I got a business site yet.

Okay, so I'll leave it up to Fia or Zirk, who wants to go next, because you guys are both at this like midpoint now. I'll keep pushing forward, sweet, you know what, I'm mad at this cyclops. And I've got a fire arm in my pocket, I'm excited to try it out. Sweet, not yet though, that is a nine.

Six or more, you fall off. So DC 15, you start to fall back. Fia, go ahead and give me a strength save to hang on to Zirk. Okay. Crit again, babe. Crit, yeah. Nice.

You successfully hang on to Zirk. I crit and then I also got a four on my guidance role. Awesome. Zirk, you got it. I mean, on my bless role. Stay on the third checkpoint. You don't make any progress. I'm gonna kill him.

I'm gonna kill him. Off. Buh. I might try and heal myself with a bonus action. Yeah, I'm gonna bonus action healing word myself. Right on. So go ahead and roll those dice. Fia, the tier turn. Okay, come on myself right on. So go ahead and roll those dice. Fia the cheer turn. Okay come on come on. I got a net one. Oh my god.

Me. Zirk go ahead and get nothing I can do about this. A strength save to hang on to Fia. That's a 19. 19. You hang on to Fia. So Fia you stay on this third checkpoint you don't progress Oh, you guys are both gonna take damage actually though for failing. Oh, so Zurc you actually only take one You take five okay That is back up to Henry you're at the top here with the Cyclops Grubber rock man. Yeah, you think it's you think it's funny to throw shit off the of the mountain, huh? Yeah Okay, uh, can I try to tabletop him using shake? You can try to you can try to wrestle him

I want to try to rest Okay, cool to men grappling a fucking giant and a kill ball swinging everywhere Be gentle. I actually have grown a lot of affection for him. I go ahead and give me a um an opposed athletics 24 he got a 23 oh my god So I'll say uh, I'll say to completely throw him off. You'll have to win twice

So I'll say um, he is like turned around He sees you go for him. He tries to like brace himself in block. You like grab his leg and go for a take down as you begin to push him towards the edge. His back foot, he like plants it, but he is sliding backwards. Go ahead and give me another opposed strength check. Whoa, what are you doing? What are you doing, man? This is funny. It's funny. 21 over here. Damn it. I only got a 14. Okay. Um, he is able to stop you.

Um, but you guys are all tangled up. So is it at least, uh, he stopped from throwing rocks if we're, uh... He has stopped from throwing rocks. And he goes, Oh, okay. I got this game. Oh, no.'m gonna first game. Oh, no Go ahead and give me an opposed athletics check You see he tries to shift to throw you right of course

Roll bad 12 over here. Yes 17 17. Okay First one is going to be a fail 17 17 okay First one is going to be a fail You see goes fuck this and as his second attack is just going to swing at you With a great club That is 19 to hit you Henry that does and that is 19 damage. Oh My god, I'm down. Okay. Oh fuck. Oh, you guys see Henry drops. Not funny, not funny.

But how funny is it if you have no one to laugh with? If you just hear it echoing through the valley. These are probably so stupid. He thinks that the echo is another person laughing VD What are you got shrieking out one boys? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Gosh, I thought I was out because my best friends are books and your best friends are echoes Ha ha ha ha ha Hey mine too Like a robot it just never stops? True true

That is, let's say Fiesta I'm going to, I'm going to cast Dragon's Breath on Book Fire and send him up there to breathe fire on the sky. Okay. Oh, now you've done it. Now you fucking, darn it. So it's a deck save. 12 fails.

Seven damage, but it's mostly to try to distract him. And then I will try to do my climb. Great. Great. 16. 16 passes. Oh, you get up to the fourth checkpoints. One. Oh, dragon's breath is concentration,

so no more blast, just so everyone knows. Red on, cool, cool. Cirque, that is your turn. Okay. How far are we from the Cyclops? Your third checkpoint, so you're like 200 feet away. Gotcha. Okay, I'm just gonna keep climbing.

But I'm fourth checkpoint, right? I'm getting closer. Oh, great, 19, 19 passes, you get up with fire. So it coated his hands with the leftover spider silk. Can I tell Spritele to just kind of mess with this cyclops to give Henry advantage? Sure. Henry's down.

Henry's not down. Oh God, but you have that healing potion, maybe. Yeah, can I get Spritele to come down and get that healing potion and then take that up to Henry and administer it? Yeah. Great. So, yeah, Spritele is going to fly up with the healing potion, delivers it to Henry. Oh. Hello. Welcome back. Did not realize it was such a big needle for the potion my god Directly into neck I know it shaped like a soft drink bottle, but it is a needle Sweet Henry pops back up go ahead and roll the health for that

That is 10 healing points great. Thank you Henry that is your turn your back up all right cool Once again, I'll say the rules are if you want to try to throw this dude off yet to win two athletics checks Essentially one to like gain control of him and one to like toss him. Hmm. I I think it's stupid, but I can't help myself and I want to do it You just kick back up and you just go to tackle this dude. You shouldn't have killed me. You shouldn't have killed me. That is 23. Good God, it's gonna be really tough for him to beat this. 16 for him, he fails.

You see, yeah, he had turned around, be like, one down, two to go. Turns around, goes to grab another rock. You tackle him from behind, you guys start sliding ever closer to the edge, he's got his feet up against the edge. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, relax, relax! Um, go ahead and roll one last, contested, grapple check.

All right, 19. Henry, finish him. Yes! Wow. Jot's on you. I grab one of his legs. I summon Shank, Shank grabs the other and I ask Spritell if they will swing their UFO

directly into the... this guy's eye. You see Spritell flies forward, bashes into this thing's face, the momentum takes it back, you guys are holding onto its legs. No! I laugh into the echo. Don't laugh at me boys! Huh!

Huh! Aim at it at the spider. Yeah, can I roll a luck check to see if he hits the spider? Yeah, roll. Cyclops bowling. Roll, if you get an A to one, he see if he hits the spider? Yeah, Roll. Cyclops bowling. Roll. If you get an A20, we'll say it hits the spider. You do see that the spider is like strategically? I got an A20.

No, I got an A20. Yes! Yes! Oh! Yeah, you see it. It's, oh my god. You see the sign pops is falling back, just goes, no! And then reaches out, grabs the spider and pulls it

Last joke Grabbs the spider as it falls back Yeah, the spider looked like it was essentially setting up a web down there to like catch and eat anyone who fell back um, wow, but this um can eat anyone who fell back. Oh wow. But this, uh, Cyclops fucking rips it off the mountain. As it falls, you see its splatters on the rocks at the bottom. Oh, and then-

My devil's got our back. You guys still need to finish your climb, but I'll say Henry has just thrown the Cyclops off the mountain, is able to like secure the ropes. You guys can make your last two checks with advantage. Fia, go ahead and give me an athletics check. We have advantage of 14. Oh boy.

14, you stay put and are going to take some damage. A little bit. I don't know. You take. I just like dangling. You're so tired. Just blowing in the wind like a kite. Six damage, Fia.

Zirk, go ahead. This fucking mountain has been giving me a harder time. Oh, that's 22 for Zirk. Zirk, you get to the top. Fiya, go ahead and give me one more athletics check. A net one, but also a 10, which becomes a 15, which doesn't pass, right? No, 15 does pass. Okay, it does. 15, 20.

Ball some dogs. Okay, okay. 15 really is awesome dogs. So, Fiya, you make it to the top with Henry and Zirk. You guys have just killed the Cyclops. You guys have taken a bunch of damage. Yeah, I made eight horns. You guys are quite hurt. Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks

as you get to the top of this mountain. Can I use a Can I get help from I rolled another net 20? Whoa holy shit. We don't even need it We'll use it in 20 sweet Henry hears this super hard Because also hear this you guys hear the sounds of people like loudly talking. You guys get to the top of this cliff here and you know that the map, following the map,

you guys have to go into, there's some like evergreen trees here at the top that are covered in snow and you guys hear into the forest towards the temple. You hear the sounds of several people loudly like like, kind of shouting at each other. They don't sound like they're in trouble or anything, but they sound like they're kind of like shouting orders or something like that. But you can't quite make out what they're saying, but you hear, like, people. May I send a book for a head to spy?

Sure. Go ahead and make a stealth check for BookFar. Stealth check. Seeks. Seeks. Oh, there. Fia, you look through Bookfar's eyes as he flaps through this little stretch of forest before getting to the temple. And Fia, you see massive statues of great fairies carved into the cliff face here, into the wall, separated by large stone pillars.

You see the fairies look sort of elven, very much like humanoid looking, with long pointy ears that extend well past their head. They are different body types, some tall and lanky, other short and stout, or big and stocky, somewhere crowns of flowers or leaves around their heads, others have symbols with sunbursts or fire or snowflakes, but they all have wings. The stones are all gray, you can imagine, they'd be colorful in person because each one has kind of these distinct elaborate patterns that set them apart from the rest. And between two of the greater fairy statues is the tall entryway over which the statues cross

javelins. Inside it looks dark like a cave no light inside, but outside of it, through this kind of bird's eye view of Bookvar, just in front of it you see a small camp. You see there are mules with packs and a few bandits or bounty hunters with like around a campfire and a couple tents. You see four people total. Two are kind of sitting around the camp eating something. And you see, two of them are brandishing rifles in patrolling the area. You see, one is kind of poking her head into the temple, and the one is looking into the forest, making sure there are no predators.

You see spots book far in the air. Ames is musket. I whisperer, I whisperer in my telepathic speech. Two bookfarer. Be brave my son. I will bring you back. Ah, miss! It's going to take a shot at bookfar.

Shit. If he's ahead, it's time to go left for my sweet son. Um, loud sound of the rifle going off. What is bookmarked? A armor class at 11. This dude only got a seven. Loud bang.

And you hear the other people around the camp go like, what the hell man, what the hell are you doing? There's some up in the air there. And bookmarked. I'm going to the trees. Fly into the trees. Fly into the trees. Nice we found. There's some up in the air there! And bookfarm. Files! Files! Files! Files! Into the trees, nice we found. Bookfarm flaps back, down, flies amongst the trees, loses the bird's eye view.

As the bandits take off into the forest after him, you hear the loud bangs of guns as bookfarm attempts to fly back to you, and that's where we'll end our session. Fuck, I'm dang session. Oh, fuck him, damn it. Oh, boy. Well, at least they're not more cyclops as I guess. Yeah, that's true. That's not because it was fucking devastating.

He's only a challenge for eating six, but he hits for a fucking lot. Yeah, but he's for a lot. Six or three, I guess maybe I don't know. Yeah, no, it's that. Well, the added mountain makes it like super, super difficult, but hey, you guys survived, it's fine. The thing with the added mountain is that like,

yes, it's harder, but also it's easier to do what Henry did, which is not have to deal with his HP, just throw them off the fucking mountain. There you go. Yeah, it's gonna be level 20 and hit a rock the bad way, and you're just done. That's true, that's so the true. Sweet guys, yeah, thank you all so much for listening.

We'll be talking more about this episode over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod. That's NADD, D-P-O-D. Don't sing. Yeah. What? What? What about you? Does anybody have anything they would like to plug? You know what, I want to plug my mother's blog if I can do it.

Okay. Yeah. That's so sweet. I just think everyone should go to Laura Herwoods.com and read her post called My West Coast Dad because I read it this morning in my car and it destroyed me. It made me cry. Wow. Check it out. Fuck yeah. Blogs are back. Go read blogs are back. Blogs are back, baby. Each shit Twitter blogs are back. I would love to blog some of the fine folks that have sent us stuff to our PO box, 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Feliz, California, 9-0-027, Lance and Regan send us some of their favorite Terry Pratchett novels. We have been craving the Pratchett.

We've been Pratchety for Pratchett over here, so I can't get enough of this. I've been on a Samantha Shannon detour and then I got it hit up some dune again and then I'll be back to Pratchett. Always come back to Pratchett to Pratchett. Kyle J sent us a big care patch. I always come back to Pratchett. You're right. Some kind of earlier that I expected. Take my own advice. Send us a big care package of Scottish candies and treats as well as a nice note. They specifically sent us some Scottish shortbread cookies that I've been enjoying.

I do tea time now. I'm that kind of fucking guy. I do tea time every day and they've been a delight. So thank you very much Kyle Jay. Respect. Let's see. Oh Madison B sent us a jackal oak postcard. Good luck becoming a vet.

We have so many fans that are becoming vets, I feel like that's great. I love all the druids out there. It's so freaking cool. Yeah. Jose D sent Emily Bluray's of the rescuers. The rescuers down under five of those west and the land before time.

Whoa, a fellow person with impeccable tastes. I saw. Are you trying to give me interact content? On Emily to look at those crisp, high-deaf rats. Dude, same here. I fucking love those movies. Speaking of Chris Blu-rays, Keith Kay from Viz Media sent us a massive collection of anime DVDs, including

Joe Joe's Bizarre Adventure, and me and my wife Susanna's absolute favorite Hunter X Hunter. That's right, this pandemic has gone on long enough that I got my wife to watch anime with me. Good Lord. And now it can finally be over. Mission accomplished. And finally, Kelly G from Lovely Solving sent me

and Susanna a big cozy baby blanket with dragons and nights on it I'm sure Sid is gonna love it. It's so soft and nice. Thank you all so much for the sweet treats We really appreciate you. Yes. Thank you everybody I'm right. Thank you. Next week just a reminder. It's the last Thursday of the month. So we're gonna be Posting a rotating heroes. That're gonna be posting a rotating heroes. That's gonna be the last feed drop. We do have rotating heroes for a little bit. This will be the end of arc one,

featuring Emily and Mike Trap and Shivan and DM'd by Zach. And then next month, we will start doing at the end of the month's weekly. DM court. DM court, or DM court. Teton. DM court. DM court. DM court. Dundee court. Dundee court. Dundee court.

Dundee court. And next week we will be doing a D&D court for the Patreon. So check that out in the show. Oh, I can't wear love those. It is very fun to do them. Come listen to us punish people. That's right.

Sweet guys. And then you can follow us on various social media that we either don't use or barely use. Atsy, which for me, at called these called, well at J.C.C.R. was his Jake, and at E.A.X.Ford is Emily, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag, nat pod. It's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are the nation, we are the nation, we are the nation, we are the nation.

I think that way. Ah, it is time to thank our benevolent Council of Elders. Brad D. Jeffree S. Halder Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. Pine Tree-Ens who watched the Third Mates Battle of the Giant Spider they were planning on helping, but then Bookvar caught them on fire with his dragon breath. So, sorry about that. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B. The elemental chefs behind Fia's favorite frozen treat, Frost Dogs. Do you ever eat a corn dog and go, why is this so soft and chewable? Well then, Frost Dogs are for you.

Frost Dogs, your stomach will thank you, your teeth will not. Shoeburt the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, and Beard Man Dan. A team of fashion wizards attempting to create a pair of pants even shorter than booty shorts. So far the closest they've come is a thong made of denim. Keep trying gang, why do you not have to keep trying? It sounds like you nailed it. Scott D. Danny P. Mixologist Michael McDee and Victor T. Balmore's Boy. Minions of the time devil.

Whenever you're taking a shower and can't remember if you just shampooed your hair or not, these mischievous, Chrono creatures are to blame. And worry not, you did. Andrew B. Kevin S. Justin I. Ragnar, the, sorry, Ragnar, Faredwind, of course, TJM, the Nome Barbarian, Elena M, and Trayle, the Kray Faye, the Bedhead Fellows, a group of rogues and rap scallions who can all be identified by their signature, Calic. They split from the Bed Fellows and formed their own gang after Petty Jack repeatedly asked them to just wear a baseball cap or something.

Well, no, the Calik cannot be tamed. Trust me, I know. Jared E. Christopher B. Austin-Bonesaw, MR, Damial R, and Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, plus, of course, Octo-Lick. Deep Folk who have been keeping Betilda's company while she's trapped at the bottom of the temple. Things were pretty boring until OctoLook found a copy of Uno and an ancient crypt. Now it's a party. Wow. Wish I was there. Dage and Richard X Machina, Michael L. And Sergio Salazar Solomon Sakurai as Desistuani, the authors of the 2-2-2 Best Hikes 222,

of course. Best Hikes in Elder Morn are they were going to include the third Mates temple on the list but then their notes got dissolved by a corrosive spider yeah tracks Trash the traveler sir carl jory as dainagy calum l and rion the Adromable yetis wow unlike their ferocious cousin these Yetis only desire is to hunt down and devour all the mountains. Hot, it's gossip. Wow.

It got to meet, Spritele. Jack L. Flulliswale, Temporal, Sam L. and Nicholas C. The organizers of the Shankarang, the annual Shank Con in which Shank fans geek out over elder mourns favorite shadow. Unfortunately, just like Henry, they keep forgetting to invite shank damn what kind of con is that Along con as it were Reese and S Samuel B Mike H. Matthew E and Colton B a magazine rack that feel left back in the train car Most of them are gossip rag so the conversation has been spicy.

Man, another thing spread on my love. Adam G. Mateo C. Nebadger, Panema James, and Cummins the Bard, a bunch of adventurers, who also bargained with the time devil to tweak the fabric of time. Most of them have glowing red eyes and weapons that whisper to them, seems like Fia is in for a ride. Adrian the Halfling Bard, Dan Nikki W. Grace G, and Drew Nasty. Tusk Dentists, these niche dentists cost a fortune and only work on your tusks, but they will make your tusks sing.

Cece Lulou, Jay, Lan T, Barnes & Nader, and Michelle O, the makers of Sleep, Trench, Dressing, Fitted Sheets, Comfortors, Duvet, Co dressing, fitted sheets, comforters, duvet covers, and sham specially designed to withstand the dirt and worms of a well-duck sleep trench. Ya gotta get them now. Timmy R. Jonathan W. the Crockwearing Warrior, Lucas B. Aaron S. and Kevin M. Bookvars stylus who outfit him with a new custom made bookmark each episode, we tried to tell them this is a podcast, no one can see, but that's just showbiz for ya. Austin C. Hogfishes, above average hog, New York and Steven C. A group of autumn fairies

that actually really fucking wanted to curse Henry but didn't get to him in time. Now they just got a cursim under the breath like everyone else. Ouch. KJ, Michael M Rahul N, Mike K and Maxwell see the makers of tensors floating triskits. They are like regular triskits, but they float just a tiny little bit, which is really all you need. Quaranty, Justin Raccoon, Nick W and Michael C, the Cyclops, Giggly Buddies who are totally real cyclopses and not just echoes, they are going to be devastated when they find him. As May M. Spartan Agnes, Nathan, Kazmir, the all-knowing, and Big Bad, Buredo the Mad, adventurers who were caught in the spider webs before it was tossed off the cliff.

Unfortunately, the third mates did not hear their cries, so they're still totally doomed. Sorry about that. Eric M. Jack Meehaw, Burley T. Axel A. and Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, and did I forget to mention Christian A. No, I didn't. The short, short mountain climbers they've been banned from every rock climbing gym and most national parks in eldermore. Don't worry, you still got statelys. J. Dragonborn, J. Row, the in-appropos, the San Rayan, Ben A and Fel, Donnis, tailors

atop the mountain who get most of their business from adventurers who cut their pants into jords while climbing them start to freeze at night. It is surprisingly lucrative. Dave H. Catherine S. David Kay, Christian S. Keith Kay and Brittany B. Book Hunters who get their kicks shooting at awakened books in the woods, they hunt the most dangerous game of all. Learning. The Time Walker, of course, the Time Walker Emilio D. Frankicouala Big Bad John, Aston S.

and Blair, the bug Blair Bar Blarean. Snowboarders who did a sick helicopter jump and then shredded the Cyclops mountain, it was sweet as hell until they were crushed by giant rocks at the bottom. But a way to go though. Pork Chop, Chanel M, Alice, Minette F and Pat L, Deep Folk, Paparazzi who snapped a picture of the Cyclops ripping the spider off the mountain as it fell, that shit is gonna make one hell of a graphic tee. A Chuta, A Lauren H. Elias, Hawthorne, Janina, E. Maddie, Y, and Alex H. Hotdog gun slingers like Zirk, they can't really shoot hotdogs, but they sure do draw their guns fast. The eldest Barry Ryan, as the bone duster Joshua H, Robert Crisp and Yead Razel tied for her

first place actually in the annual Elder Morn Hot Dog Eating Contest because they were allowed to compete with the Shot Dog and they shattered last year's record by about a thousand. Brently C, Micah B, Carly and Connor Savage, Russell H, Alpine is who popularized wearing shorts on these snow cap peaks they must all have dragons blood though because Hank tried their style. Actually has frostbite right now, so damn. Christopher J.O. cold the goldfish Gremlin Logan S. Leviathan Demi A. and Bioquart 7. Creators of the creepy childhood game, let's, let's Hama-Toon in the Root Seller, which Fias spent many evenings playing around 2 a.m. haunting

indeed. Kenny Remington CD Amber K Everett P. Trub Hop Drapper and K So Say Scuba divers in Eldermore who are surveying the deep using Vervein oxygen to oh oh oh wow they're oh dear they are drowning. Jesse DLR LindsayR, Lindsay W. Val, Carlin, C, Anthony S. Sally, and Sally S. Papa books who don't breathe fire, but they do spray water, which isn't as great for murdering people, but it's really hilarious for pranking. So, it's a little bit better for that reason.

Tristan, C, the goose, Jake, Emily S, the new petty king of Outerboro, C.C. Matthew J. Zane C. and Michael S. The gender nonconforming. Climbers who got caught in the spider's web, but the spider actually deemed them too chill to eat. So they camped out in the web overnight like a portalege and it was kind of epic. Why it be loyal theogier? Okay.

Andy and Whitney Rogue Cree, Daniel Daniel and Joseph H and David S. Shap owners in elder mourn who are trying to sell custom shorts like the kind the third mates wore, but they're just, they're a little too short and everyone finds them too risky. They're not selling well. Mr. Dude Sky conflicted DM David S. Justin LB and Zachary K. The Mountain Cyclopsis friends turns out it wasn't an echo after all. These folks just truly thought that Cyclops was hilarious. He will be missed. Well, that

is a similar joke to one earlier. Can you tell we write these separately? Thank you all.