Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 18: Temple of the Guardians

Episode Date: April 2, 2021

The Third Mates encounter a crew of bandits, then head into the temple to search for Batilda. Zirk gets a little too excited about traps, Fia goes full stage mom, and Henry meets someone even sadder than him. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Bloody Mural" by Emily Axford."Olwen the Sullen" by Emily Axford."Haunting Visages" by Emily Axford."On the Edge" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."Winter Sprite" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Eldermore and everybody! Eldermore! I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz, middle-aged man in a rut climbing mountains with an exposed nut.

Oh, re-hog-face. Hello dear. I forgot about that. Yeah, I forgot. Oh, huts with you. It's back. And then of course we've got Emily Axford via Boginia taking it to the next level with the help of a friendly time devil. Oh, right. Just pulling it in there. It's Ken and it's a friendly time devil. Right.

Friendly. Yeah. Yeah. I love their face cackled at me and screamed and said you will die soon, but it seems friendly to you. I don't recall that dialogue, but I'll have to trust you And of course we got called all Tanner. Oh Shutdog shooting Frank Ferder fling and flitlock bringing zerg for vein No, I love ye hoppers. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So last time you guys battled a toxic spider defeating it and then continued your trek through the mountains towards the temple of the guardians After another mountain climb that saw Zerk extremely injured Yee-haw!

Hehehehe, yee-haw baby cat was erk You finished the hike and made it to the base of a cliff You camped there for the night, during which you came to some conclusions about Henry's curse. After realizing that his shadow acting up didn't happen until after the Prophet Cain attacked him, you were led to believe that his curse had more to do with reincarnation, which has nudged you towards the conclusion that it could be a spring fairy. In the morning, you began the final ascent to the temple, but not before being attacked by a giant cyclops. After being clocked several times by flying boulders,

Henry was finally able to get to the top and wrestle him off, resulting in the cyclops tumbling and pulling another toxic spider to its death. After a net nap 20 that was fairly ridiculous. I kind of missed the Cyclops I liked him. He was great. A rich character with a great backstory. I cast Healing Word on him. Come on. You see the angel that's built. One of the cuts on his splattered body begins to heal slowly. Cyclops if you you have any funny brothers, send them our way.

So you guys all reached the peak where you heard the sounds of other humans shouting through the trees, sending Bookvar ahead to Scout. Fia was able to see the gates of the temple as well as other explorers at a camp outside. You saw four bandits, brandishing guns, one of whom spotted Bookfar and took a shot. Bookfar was not hit, but the bandits gave chase through the woods, and that's where we are now. Okay, so Fiya, you have just seen the scene

through Bookfar's vision, but very quickly it becomes chaos. Just the bobbing of flapping bookfarr. And he's screaming. You guys hear him through the trees, Zirken Henry, you hear? Ah, ah, ah, ah, miss, ah, miss! He's a dragon, right? My eyelids are flickering like I'm having a crazy dream.

Yeah, you guys hear shots going off through this forest and a bookvark is flying back. It does not take him super long to get back to you. You hear the first round of gunshots go off, but pretty quickly, you know they've got these big kind of cumbersome muskets. And they have to reload. Bookvark's kind of hard to hit because he's weaving through the trees. So after a bit, you guys see BookFar emerges from the stretch of trees. It just crashes into you, Fiya,

like a scared hug, just like wrapping his cover around you. Oh, miss, don't make me scout. Let's go back to the train. I'm sorry, this is too many times I'm asking you to scout in two days. Come here a little one. I'll put on your safety jacket Book far Theo was that a spider that learned how to use guns or was it bandits? What was it? What was it? I'm sorry. I thought I was sort of saying this as it was going there's basically like bandits like blades of grass in that clearing Does that make sense? Yeah, they're really tall and thin Yes, and green. And green. Although I have to say, everything I see is through bookfars vision

and bookstacks are a different sense of color. I must be, I imagine. It's really trippy in there. So, um, try that. You guys hear this shock of gunfire right off the bat when they first see bookfarr. But you don't hear anything right now. Is there anything you guys would like to do

immediately as bookfarer arrives? Okay, I mean, what are you all thinking? I am thinking we pursue these characters and fight them. Yes, I'm all for fighting the blades of grass. Should we hike? Should we try to kill? Yes, I think we should maybe sneak up on them and because I do not want to go on to this temple

and have bandits on our heels. No, certainly not. I do have two questions for book-fired. Yes, they're following us. Where are we going? Are we hiding? What are we doing? Yes, we're fighting. What are we doing? Let's hide. I'm asking these questions as we run. Okay, let's climb a tree. Let's climb a tree and go ahead and give me stealth checks.

Oh dear, that's going to be with this advantage for Fia. Can I cast guidance on myself for this? Sure. Let's going to be a foul stinky nasty smelling 20 for Zirk. Okay, Fia actually rolled really well, so that is going to be a 30-20 as well. Okay, hmm, and it sounds like you guys might be attacking from a hidden position, whereas I, having nine, a nine, okay. Oh, good idea, Henry, be the bait.

Wait, wait. I see the strategy, I love it. I wink from like a bush where I'm like just a set of eyes. No, Henry, don't hide behind a blade of grass. That's not what Fia meant. My cut off pants are stuck in a tree root. Yeah, I think Henry starts to climb a tree and it's just super bare towards the top

so he's just like really exposed. And, uh, Fia and Zirk, you guys are able to hide a little bit better over in some like bushes. Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks. Uh, 17 for Zirk. Very nice. I got an 11. 11 for Fia.

Again, my eyes are diverted by Henry's nut. And I'm looking at Fia looking directly at my nut, and I also rolled in 11, so I'm diverted. Well, I mean, Zirk is also looking at the nuts, but Sprite is looking for Zirk. So with 211 and a 17, you guys see that these bandits appear to be sneaking as well. The two elevens, you guys see a dude with a mustache and like long kind of graying stringy hair under a flop hat with like a cloak. He's got a musket and is sneaking through the woods here looking and a zirke. You see a tall skinny woman

with kind of the same outfit on with like a flop hat and a musket, you see she's a little better hidden and you see they're kind of motioning to each other and they are doing perception checks to try to find you guys. I'm gonna say everybody go ahead and roll initiative because nobody's really gonna get a surprise round on anybody because everybody's sneaking around.

It's a 22 for Zirk. Great. Damn. 18 for B. I was so excited and I had a 16. So, just fine. Zirk is inspired by your nut just waving in the wind. It moves like a car salesman blow up.

So unpredictable. Impressive in this cold weather. You think it would be clinging to you. Sometimes it stands up tall and proud. Other times it collapses and shame. Unpredictable. OK. And just so everybody at home knows the party has leveled up to level five, but they still have all the lost HP from yesterday, all the spent spell slots from yesterday.

I know. Can't do new spells or anything, but can cast them at higher levels if the level would allow it. So Zirk, you can act first. the level would allow it. So Zirk, you can act first. It does not look like this dude or this lady have seen you, but you see the two of them and they are sneaking around looking for you guys. Yeah, I'll always put a few, are we trying to like be safe about this or we want to just fuck these people up? I mean, we want to fuck them up but since they haven't seen us I might use this round to sort of like put myself in the best chance to seize them. Gotcha, okay.

But you can do whatever you want. We want to ultimately fuck them up. We want to fuck them up. Hahaha. You say it like that just triggers some classic Dracula. Hey, no, I don't know why they didn't we want to fuck them up. I don't know. When you say it like that, just trigger something. Classic, classic. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to send Spritell to cast a spell on Henry to help him out since he failed his self-check. Sweet. I'm going to cast Jump on Henry. Sweet. So that hopefully he can jump up in a tree and then be ready to ambush.

Okay. Does it just make, does it just spell his Von Nutt to the size of a Pilates bone? He can bounce around. Or does it, does it make it jump back up into my shorts where it's really ought to be? All I'm saying is you really should have wanted Jockstrap because that nut is going to be going all over the place. I look at it, I look at Zirk and I say, you are wearing a juxtap right now. Two.

Is that an everyday wearer? So as there's this, as everybody's quietly kind of circling each other, Spritell flies up to the street, cast Jump on Henry, after Zurk, that is Fia. OK, I would like to cast stillfully, I would like to cast stealthily, I would like to cast mirror image, so that three little fias, poof, poof, poof, poof.

You see, three little fias pop up. You're all, you're all looking at my testicle. All right, I know, I know. Fiya, three hours behave. On initiative 17, after Fia, three hours behave. On initiative 17 after Fia, you guys see another bandit that none of you had seen with your perception checks. What comes up behind Henry in the tree holds the musket up and this dude, Henry, you hear the sound only of like the rifle coming up and pointing at you.

You see this dude looks a little different than the other guys, has like sort of a twirly mustache and like well-maintained hair. Kind of looks a little bit more like Victorian dressed, but like his coat is dirty and stuff like like definitely be an out camping for a little while. Holds the gun up and goes, why don't you go ahead and drop whatever you have on you before I blow your freesy balls off? So they are exposed, okay. And then it's just, Henry, you are next,

is gonna hold an action, pointing a gun at your testicles. That is your turn. So, I believe Shank is still around. Is that, I didn't unsummon Shank. Correct. Okay. So, can I have Shank move behind this guy?

Go ahead and make a stealth check for shank. Okay. That's a 16 for shank. You see the shadow appears behind the stewed. Okay. And then I'm gonna say, yeah, you're not scaring me, you're pointing your gun at the shadow of my nuts, and then switch spots with Shank.

Oh my! Oh my! He just goes, ah, what? And he is going to go ahead and take a shot. He rolls a natural two, so he doesn't even hit Shank. He just fires off as Henry, you're able to attack from behind sweet Does it 15 hit this guy 15 does 10 damage on my first attack? Yeah, you you appear behind to this dude

stab him in the back with your claws. Oh What and you guys see the other two bandits start looking around? Confused or shit what the fuck's happening to you? What's going on wait wait everyone just stop horseshit yeah, cuz he talks like fucking horseshit all right I'm gonna take my second attack cuz Henry gets to know oh That is a 20 19 so a 25 super step in the horseshit you hit horseshit again cool I'm kind of sympathetic now that I know your nickname. Oh stop that's not my name. It's Edwin Edwin all right that's 13 damage to Edwin oh actually I think I might unleash

Shank just once shanker you pissed this guy fucking fire Yeah, all right take a swipe out of me. Yeah, that's a 14 for Shank 14 misses Horse shit aka Edwin is able to get out of the way at Initiative 16 you guys see a big dude with a flop hat and like stringy hair coming out underneath Looks more like the dudes that were walking around Is that a four now? There are four now you, he pops up and he's gonna take a shot from hiding at Henry. Mooshit.

Oh, God. That's a crit. Oh, dear. Jump. Oh, yeah. Hang on, horse shit, I'm coming. Wow, really is horse shit, okay. So do you like this nickname?

No, it's not horse shit. That's not my name. It's the first name we heard, I guess So do you like this nickname? My name, no, it's not horseshit. That's not my name. It's the first name we heard, I guess. I feel like that's sticking. 14 damage to you, Henry. All right. Then in addition to 14, you see the woman goes, not shot, little ricks.

Now get ready for big ricks. She's going to take a musket shot at Henry. Fuck, they're fun. I'd really just rather fight horseshit if that's possible. Oh, no, no thank you. That is only a 10 to hit, that misses. All right. After Big Rex goes, you see the other two.

The medium Rex now? Do I get it? That's not medium Rex, that's ranch! I'm ranch! OK. Rayanches a beautiful name. Thank Rex, that's ranch! I'm ranch! Okay. Oh, ranch is a beautiful name. Thank you, I grew up on a fucking ranch. Ransings to whoever named you.

Nobody named me that. My real name is Billy. The nicknames are so literal. I don't want my nickname. So it's, your name is Ranch because you love ranch dressing and his name's Horshit because he eats Horshit. Am I getting that right?

Yeah, he eats Horshit. Um, ranch takes a shot at 10, right? If you? Ha ha, yeah, he's Horshid! Um, uh, Brandis, a shot at Henry. Um, yeah. If you think about it, plants eat shit. And we eat plants, so we eat shit. 16 to hit Henry. Uh, yes, and I am about to eat shit. Okay, mm-hmm, uh-oh.

Uh-oh, oh Jesus. Oh, you want a good company. Branch blasts you for 14 damage. I return to the earth with the plants and the shit. Closer, Meltonry. There's no need. Okay, so Henry goes down, you got four bandits with muskets here and they go,

we got one down, put your fucking weapons down! Oh, we'll fucking kill him! Zirk, that's your turn. Okay, so there's four muskets trained on dead Henry. Yes. Good nickname for me, dead re. Do they see us yet? Yeah, you guys have all been yelling and yeah, absolutely.

100%. Oh, nassing spells. Yeah, fuck it. See you. This is risky, but I'm going to try it. I'm going to cast catapult. Okay. So yeah, I think that I will like come forward as if I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna cast catapult. Okay, so yeah, I think that I will,

like, come forward as if I'm giving up, okay? And then at the last moment, I pull, like, basically a long thin test tube from my hand, from the back. And you see that it's basically like a glass potato launcher, okay? And it's got like an iron ingot in it. And I just light it with a little flick of a fire can trip and just blast it right out then. Oh, look, he's got his hands up, he's ready to, oh, he's got it too, he's got it too, he's got it too!

E-Tube! Yeah, you shoot at, who are you gonna shoot at? I guess I'll shoot at Big Rex. Okay, horse shit is the most hurt. Yeah, and I feel bad for horse shit. I'm gonna shoot at Big Rex. Okay, horse shit is the most hurt. Yeah, and I feel bad for horse shit. I'm gonna shoot at Big Rex. Okay. So Big Rex will need to make a dexterity saving throw, I believe.

Okay. Nat 20. Well, okay. This big lump of iron just lands. Kinda right in front of her. Okay. What was... Here you go, please take this iron and leave us alone.

Fuck, I guess that's my turn. I'll send Spritele to distract them so that Fia can hopefully get advantage on whatever she does. Spritele flies over to Fia. Fia, that is your turn. Okay, first off, who are you and why should we put on our weapons? What are you and why should we put down our weapons? What are you even doing out here? Stay to your case and maybe we can have a conversation, okay?

Now, why would we negotiate on your terms? Right now, you gotta do walls hanging out, knock the fuck out, shot up with three muskballs, and you're- I didn't even have a noble death to come out. And you're asking me what I'm doing here, What are you doing here? I'm asking the questions Okay, we're part of quick blast cast Caluay's posse What quick blast You can't just speed a bunch of words at me like they mean something to me without

Speed a bunch of words at me like they mean something to me without a creative context Get away! Nobody wants to get away! You can barely say it if I'm being honest! Get away! Alright! Who voted for red? What? What do you see? Maybe we can be of use to you.

Here you have three people who seem pretty powerful and you're scared enough to pull your fancy little metal magic rods at maybe you need our help. Now why the fuck would we need your help? One of you is not the fuck out right now. We got four guns on his ass. Who are you? What are you doing here? Can I see? Do any of them look hurt? like they've encountered any yeties or stuff that might need healing? I mean or should or shit is super hurts. I'm astro the rest of them look banged up like they've been Travelling but they don't look like they have any Grievous wounds. Okay quite frankly. I'm actually really annoyed and I'm going to behave Okay, quite frankly, I'm actually really annoyed and I'm going to behave really

Unstortically right now because this interaction has really Sourned me right now. So actually guys Fia and Zirk go ahead and give me insight checks. Okay 18 on the die, baby. Fia you realize as these guys have their guns pointed at Henry, this is a dangerous situation for sure and definitely bad. However, they look a little uncomfortable holding the weapons like they have not had these guns long and you realize that much like Zerks, Flintlock pistol, these things are one shot, and then you have to reload in kind of a labored way, or they're gonna have to pull out a sword or something. So right now, they are, you guys are in a bad position,

but maybe not as bad of a position as their pretending it is. So Fiya, you may act as you will. It does not look like any of these guys have any kind of magical abilities or going to be able to like magically reload a musket so fast that they can all just like pump in on just body full of lead. Okay. Okay. I really, I'm sorry, but I think for me to do healing word on Henry right now is a bad idea I need to do something offensive May I as in my bonus action touch book var cast dragons breath at a third level And then may I use my personal action to hoist mr. Henry and

Run in the opposite direction Can I use my full action so that they cannot attack him. Go ahead and give me a strength check to try to pick up Henry in a smooth motion. And that will determine how good you do on the strength check will determine how far you get. Another 18 on the day, baby!

And I have a plus 72 athletics, so that's gonna be a 25. That's so eat. This is good because this morning on the mountain, I was clumsy as a fall. I'm looking forward to redeeming myself. Yeah, so you guys see, bookfar starts to flap up and he goes, oh, you shouldn't have messed with me you should have fucking fucked with me is it what's it for?

pop up dragon comes out and I think I say to bookfarer I say bookfarer give them a satisfying ending fit for a fairy tale miss Very tell miss Everyone lived crapily ever after Well, I love when he gets a little crude But still PG-30 yeah bookfire flies up into the sky You see they look confused as fuck they're like oh shit. It's the fucking book bird again. Let's shoot it They go to like train their rifles dragon pops out because to it's a breathe fire down on them. What the fuck? Before they can even react to me once over and Perfect scoop scoop Henry over her back and I'll say with a 25 you can just move as if it's difficult terrain

So you can use your action and your movement to move your full movement with Henry on your back You go a little deeper into the woods. I'll say they'll have disadvantage if they want to like fire at him now. And then I rolled 23 fire damage. She's great. They do a deck save. OK. And it's in a 15 foot cone. OK.

Or shit fails. Sir, you're right here. You see that? Or shit is burned alive. No, no way. Yeah, maybe we can't negotiate something. Oh, I died amongst shitheads. Shitheads on both sides. This is burned away.

You see, I have a big wreck's heels. Or shit, no. I loved you. As I'm running away, I say, now you want to fucking help us? Oh! Also! Three us! Show yourself! And then...

Oh god! Three us! The three fias are just like, oh, pop, pop, pop, pop! Just pick up Henry, just like two of them, like, three us, Henry by the feet and by the arms and is like spotting him as they run away. And I think with me and the three fears,

can we completely surround Henry? I wish I were conscious to witness this. That is Henry's turn. Henry, go ahead and give me a dead saving throw. Gladly. Gee, shout out to the two crew. Yikes, that's a dead save, close. I will heal you next turn.

I just needed to do something offensive because I was angry, but also like a little bit puff of the chest, but also I was really angry. It was a significantly better turn than giving me any HP. Okay. That is Big Rex's turn on Big Rex's turn. Um, she, uh, just takes her musket and, um, starts pouring some gun powder into it.

Takes like a metal bar and starts shoving it down. You just wait. You just wait. You just look at the way. You wait. What's that? You fucking wait. You wait.

Bookbird. I'm gonna shoot you at a fucking stop. I don't want you to, bookbird, other shoot you out of the fucking sky! I want you to get a horse shit! Do you want me to stay here or should I run? Like while you're doing this, just let me know. Really, laboriously, reload your musket. Big Rex goes and does the same thing. Ranch goes and does the same thing. That's back up to you, Zirk.

They look to have it their weapon successfully. Zirk thinks about waiting so that he can watch the process of loading the musket, because he's interested in the mechanics of it, but looks back and sees Fiat and goes, oh yeah, and runs as well. Sweet. And while Zirk's running, I think he is going to do a second level cure wounds on Henry.

Sweet. You use your movement to get 30 feet away and you are able to get to Henry, you cast cure wounds, Henry, you pop back up. Oh my God. You pop back up with four fias gazing down at you. You're natural athleticism, you run like a gazelle. We all stare at you, but we are we're all blinking and at different times

Okay, okay, I'm I'm either I'm either in heaven or or very dead. That's gonna be 17 points of healing. Whoa Yeah, get a plus four to pure now. That's great. Henry you pop back up After zirke that is fia You pop back up after Zirk, that is Fia. Fia, you see these dudes are loaded, they're only 30 feet away. Okay, book var, hold off, hold off with your dragon breath before I talk to them. Are you all sure that you want to continue these? And four Fias stare at them. Fia, go ahead and give me an intimidation check with advantage.

Nice. That's a nine. Fia, go ahead and give me an intimidation check with advantage. Nice. That's a nine. You see little Rex and Ranch look kind of scared, and then look to Big Rex, the lady, and she just kind of steals her gaze and goes, they killed her shit! Okay, anyone, I'll make this more simple.

Anyone who doesn't want to get sprayed with dragon juice again put down their gun dragon juice is it juice? is it juice? yeah is it juice? I don't know I'm sorry did I say this wrong? no I think it's perfect. I henceforth it is dragon juice that I'm still really these guys look like they still have some fighting them. you see that they're still rare and to go. All right then, I have tested the waters and the waters say it's time for the dragon work. And then the car is gonna give them the juice. 26. You see fire sprays down. They instantly look so hurt. Nobody dies, but ranch and big wrecks are now on

Death's Door and Little Rex looks really fucked up and Little Rex and Ranch throw down their guns and lift their hands up and they go, I don't want any more! I don't want any more! I look at my hands but I was summoning burning hands at a third level And then I blow it out. Okay, you're ready to be reasonable. You see ranch and little Rex have their hands up But big Rex just kind of throws her gun down Looking pissed off and she goes y'all aren't gonna be so fucking tough when quick blast cast Callaway Gets out of that temple again. You you just like a really get say the last cast Callaway. Get rock. Last cast.

Callaway. Last cast. Quick. Callaway. Last cast. Callaway. Quicky. But the, the, the, the, the, the, the quick cast cast.

Callaway is in the temple. Could we maybe switch to like an acronym? QB, a QBCC? Yes, we say QB. You don't have to say QB. Okay, QB, this will be easy, I don't think. Once QB finds out that you killed Horshit who's arguably her favorite member of the posse,

now hold on. Can I do an insight check? Cause I don't believe that they would be so rude to her favorite member of the posse. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead and make an insight check. 19. You get the sense that these people are probably all working together at a necessity,

and you find it unlikely that any kind of notorious bounty hunter would give a shit about a horse shit. OK. Look, we're just here for a job. There's a bounty. There's somebody supposed to be in that temple probably dead so Quick blast took us out here

Figured she could go in there brave whatever fucked up shit is in that temple And find the body and that we all get the reward the point is You guys are Unfortunately no longer going to earn the bounty. Now that we're here, the bounty's off the table. So... Yeah! You just wait until you see Quick Plast! Quick Plast, cast Calaway!

Quick Plast, cast Calaway is gonna come out of there all by yourself and kill the four of us. Wait, she's in the temple right now? Yeah, she's in the fucking temple. That's what I'm saying. Oh, we wait. She's in the temple right now. Yeah, she's in the fucking temple That's what I'm saying. Oh, we've got to get in the temple right now We I think we understand what the job is we get we know what the bounty is for right? Yes We know what the bounty is for It was bad to meet you goodbye Well, hold on. I think we need to we're gonna have to big, big wrecks tie up little wrecks and ranch is gonna tie up big wrecks and then shank ties up. Wait, what is ranch? Get to go last. Who's tying up ranch?

You can, the new tie up ranch. Why don't, big wrecks ties up ranch goes, no, big wrecks ties up little wrecks. I tie up using points and... It's our first trust exercise Do you understand that in the bells of this temple is my mentor and I am going to unleash more dragon fire on you If you do not figure out how I can trust that I don't have to all right fucking fine ranch time you Ranch ties up Wait no I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it.

I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have okay you're coming with this ranch. Yeah, do you want me? I'll come with you that you got should we kill these guys?

We don't want them to well you turn on a time You've a turn on your people. Yeah, I'm what do I give a shit? I Look to Mr. Henry. I guess if that's the case Maybe I'm gonna untie big Rex and see how big Rex you're right. I see big Rex and ranch Little Rex is just rolling around, tie it up. Yeah, get a big Rex, get him. So do we want to bring one of these people with us?

Or I feel like we just tie them all up and leave, right? I feel like these guys, they're about to sort out what, you know, something. Yes. Yes. They're just beating the shit. OK, we tie them all up. We tie them all up at in proximity Something. Yes. Yes. There's just beating the shabby. Okay. We tie them all up.

We tie them all up in proximity so they can continue to beat the shabby. That's right. Right. Yeah. Okay. We tie their fists to each other. You tie up ranch to big wrecks and they beat the shabby out of each other while little wrecks shouts on encouragement.

I want all three of you to know if we are successful and we come back up here and we make sure that Batilda is okay we will be nice to you we don't want to hurt you. I don't know I kind of want to I feel like these guys shot they shot a gun at my dick so I feel like I have a keeper getting help personal it must have been for you. I awoke to four of you carrying me through the woods. I guess they have since to spell. I miss them. I'm sick of looking at these folks. Their floppads are dumb. Let's go inside a temple.

Yeah, and if we come out here with Patilda, the three of you guys are absolutely fucked. So let's see. Yeah, then we can split the bounty. Think of it as a fonders fee. You just go back to being the shadow. I kick a bunch of rocks at him. Ah!

So you guys, go ahead and you guys make your way through the small patch of forest with snow covered pine trees. On the other side, it opens up and you find the ruins of this temple built into the mountain. You see giant stone statues of greater fairies, all shapes and sizes with these massive wings. You see the two in the center hold out crossed javelins under which you see the dark entrance looking like a massive cave.

And you see the remnants of these bandits camp. You see a couple of tents. You see some like canned food over a smoldering campfire. Looks like they were really loading up on beans. No Frank voters. There's a couple of Frank voters. Yeah. Frank some beans. And you see two giant goats here with packs attached to them that were being used as essentially like pack mules that were more dexterous to be able to get up the mountain. Let's lighten their load. Let's at least just unspap the pack. Should we just let them run free?

Yeah, lighten their load, give him a little encourage on the buttocks. You guys take the packs off, you untie them, give him a little pat on the butt. You see they just walk over and just start eating the cans of beans. You're free, noble creatures. Go to, oh, okay.

I say, run, run, run. Be free. Slowly, slowly chewing on tin cans. Do I recognize any of these greater fairies? Could I do a little perception check? You guys would not know enough about the greater fairies to know specifically who the fairies on these statues are, but I will say that you notice specific things

about the ones that are kind of guarding over the door, that the one looks to be a winter fairy and the other one looks to be a summer fairy. Okay. The doorways of the seasons, that makes sense. Does anyone need anything or should we go in? I was gonna have a couple beans, but I feel like. Okay, I will take a quick short break.

Quick break? I'll get a two level spell back. Yeah, the goat has polished off the beans, but that's fine. Yeah. Oh, you're gassy. You are gassy already. The goat, I'll say the goats have like eaten the cans around the beans

So there are loose beans on the ground if you'd like to collect some beans. Do I see anything else with like a V marking on it in the camp? Yeah, go ahead and give me an investigation check Cool And I'll say with advantage because you guys are you've got Sprite all there and you guys are taking some time You've got Spritele there and you guys are taking some time. Ooh, at 20, but filthy covered in beans. There are lots of supplies here with V's on it. You see that there are bullets for their muskets. You see that there are little bombs, like a box of explosives,

and they all have the v markings on them. Is there like a receipt here or maybe like a pamphlet with like an inventory supply for things you can order from my mom's store apparently? Yeah, it was going to say, Zerke, your mom is like a really successful entrepreneur. Yeah, I think she's kind of a boss girl. I think she's kind of...

Are you like a rich and you never told us? Wow, if you come from money we could afford the good beans I'll say that you know we were constantly on the run moving from town to town but we always dined on pretty high-class beans I know you don't know it don't tell people but it's always really interesting to find out who's rich we've been living well in these mountains I've had a hot dog for just about every meal, you know. Oh, Henry. Oh, don't worry, we'll get the pizza. We'll get the book chef back up in the running soon.

Oh, yeah. Oh, good. Bean pizza? Why not? So yeah, Zirk, you find some ammunition, some like musket balls, and I'll say you find four of these little bombs that are like sticks of dynamite essentially. Wow.

She has been busy. Sprite, I know you didn't want to hold the gun, but maybe you should hold onto one of these just in case. Yes, Papa, give me all of the bombs. Oh, wow, just change in tune. Instantly lights one of the wicks. Ha, ha, no lights. No lights. It does look at the lights go.

It moves down the rope, pa pa. It moves down the rope, pa pa. It's a fun little race, but let me show you a trick. I douse it, and then I put them all back in my pocket. Wait till the moment's right for that one, friend. It's fun to see someone fumble through new parenting. Yeah. Zerker writes, bombs equal no, and a little parenting notebook. Remind me of my kid. Fuck,

fuck, let's go to the temple. Sweet, you guys enter the massive hall and see that it is completely dark, kind of nothing ahead of you except for a bis. The hall goes down pretty far. You do see that there are torches though on the wall next to you. Like a bunch of them hanging on the walls here that you can kind of take with you if you'd like. Can I inspect them for fingerprints? I am worried about like foul play in these torches. Yeah. Go ahead and give me my bestigation check. 15 plus 4, 19.

19. You notice that there is a spot for another torch that is missing. So it looks like quick blast cast Callaway maybe took that one. It does not look like these other torches have been fucked with. Okay. I'm worried about the torches. I could whip up some glowing vials for us if that's better. That sounds actually really sick, I'm not talking about that. I basically make old-fashioned glow sticks, so it's like a glass tube that glows green. Cool. Wow. So you guys have these artificial lanterns that you carry as you walk down the hall, and

you guys see to your left and to your right there are murals painted on the rock walls here. You see, to the left, paintings of rich foliage, red and yellow and brown leaves covering the ground, and colorful, autumnal trees. And to the right, you see planes of green with flowers blooming, and after a bit, walking down this hall, you notice that the murals begin to transition kind of with the seasons. To the left you see the trees begin to lose their leaves, and to the right you see an image of the sun begins to kind of of come into frame and the budding flowers have fully bloomed. And eventually you reach a divide in the hall. You see there is another hallway that by sex, the current path that you are on, so you guys can either go left and go right or you can

keep heading straight. It's like a big tea. Does anyone think that we should hit to the right? Because if this is a trickster temple, the right started with spring. So we're following the spring season. I can I do a detect magic as a ritual to see if I sense Petilda's magic? Oh, how far would it be? For the duration, up to 10 minutes,

you sense the presence of magic within 30 feet of you. If you sense magic this way, you can use your action to see a faint aura around any visible creature or object in the area that bears magic. And you learn its school of magic if any. So essentially, I could kind of be using this to kind of detect like a little bit traps and what kind of magic might be.

So, Fiya, you sense magic everywhere to the point where it feels like the hallways can almost change. Like there's like a lucery magic, there's all kinds of, this feels like a very tricky place. Okay, that is maybe not the right way. There is tr tricks of food. Sprite will do you sense anything?

I know that this magic is akin to your people. You see Sprite will kind of tilt to the side. It gives it a thing for a second and goes, this place is not familiar to me, Papa, when I was a Sprite, I felt very simple, very very powerful emotions and now I am developing but also slightly losing Connection with that side of myself if that makes sense I've been intellect grows sharper the emotion sometimes get blunted

Is that okay with you, Sprite? Do you Like the way you're becoming? Yeah, I, yes, I, I think it's complicated, but I think it's all part of growing up, pappa. Oh, that's actually really beautiful, I love it. I'm gonna go check on this mural here. I'm just gonna go see if there's anything

that we missed on the mural. Mm-hmm. I'm going to go listen to emo music. Okay, so that's gonna bring a bunch of the emotions back. Are we, I don't really have a lead on where to go to. We think maybe we should just roll a dice or flip a coin or something. It seems like there's no real way to know unless we unless we start strolling and Following the spring is as good an idea as any to me. Yeah, yeah Something tells me that if we give the right intention or something we can forge the right way

You know we can make whichever way we are going right yeah We could also use these bombs to blow it all up and then just go straight easy does it don't even Fizz prints to catch it like a wide receiver. Zirk is putting the dynamite in the gun. What? So you guys follow the path to the right. And you see that the scenes of spring give way to summer. You see the budding flowers have fully bloomed and the sun burns on a hot summer day,

and you come to the end of the hall and reach a room that completes the mural. You see on the mural a pit of sand in a gladiatorial arena. In a balcony overlooking it is a broad-shouldered woman with a stern face and wavy hair that stands like fire. You see she's got a big flaming bow, looks like a powerful warrior. You see she is shooting three humans in a pit below.

And you see in the center of the painting, in place of one of this greater fairies arrows, is a red key protruding from the wall. Okay, I made chants this red key. You grab the key with your made chants and are able to pull it away. You see the little stone casing that was around it, clicks and shifts back into the picture and disappears. And you have this large red key. All right. Does everyone feel good about this movement of me

because I don't want to do something that makes someone feel unsafe? It feels good to have a key. I think having a key is a nice thing. It's never bad to have a key. You're not 100% sure where it goes, but sometimes you might need the key. Yes, I just say that fairy was kind of leashing fire

on a bunch of humans. So I'm like, oh, is this okay? That we took her key. Yeah. She seems like a bad person to get on the bad side of. I was so like, I thought it was awesome right up until I saw, you know, where the arrows were going. Yeah, I know.

I was really excited. I was gonna lean over to Mr. Zer, can say, is this your cool mom? But then it got really dark. No, yeah, she's killed a bunch of people. It's interesting that we are having this conversation after we took her key. Yeah.

I know. I tried to shove the key back in the wall. Oh, don't you think? Well, take my key. I don't want this anymore. I will be honest. I was kind of sad that no darks fired or like a big trap door opened. I just, I think it's really fun when

there are like weird little mechanisms and temples like this. Like, yeah, yeah, I'm a little disappointed. I'll say that. You see a dark-sho Zirk in the head. And kill them instantly. Did anyone see where that dart came from? Quit temp, please. Was it spring loaded? Was it spring loaded or was it gunfire? Please let me know.

Can we do investigation? Maybe to see if there's any like footprints left in the dust. I imagine this temple's been unperturbed for a while. Yeah. That's for a while. Yeah. That's just a 14. A 14? Zirk, you do not see any footprints on the side of the hall. OK. If she's some kind of ranger, she may be

able to hide her footprints. It's possible. Can I cast identify on this spell, ritual cast identify, on this key? You cast identify on the key. You cast identifying the key. It is a magical key. It's a magical item. It does not have any power to it.

It doesn't seem like a cast, any powerful spell or anything. It is just a key. Okay, well, you know, just for just a humorous, why don't we put the key back in? Because that's where the key, you know, naturally went. Okay, Mr. Henry, I love to have a little direction. I put the key in the wall. You put the key in,

settles back into the painting. Okay, so that's just kind of what it does here. All right. It pops out and offers you the key again. We do this for an hour. Okay, I feel a little reckless to find betilda. Now I am only one vote in this. I say we fucking keep the key. I don't know enough to not take it. I think we just kind of go and like we poke and prod

at everything. You know, if a couple of darts fire at our brains, that's fine. That's just, you know what? That's fine. You want the darts. You know, I hope the darts for you, I guess. You take the token. You're ready to catch the darts. As the key comes out again, another dart fires and zirks head, narrowly missing him. Maybe we're just not noticing the darts. That's the problem.

I want to know, like, how are they so cleverly hidden? All right, so we got this key. Should we turn heel and see what happens at the other end of the hall? Yeah, I think so. Okay. So do you guys want to go, so you guys get back to kind of this middle area,

do you guys want to go straight in a straight line from like the entrance or do you want to go the left way now? Try the left wing? Yeah. Left wing sounds good. These two seem like departures, and then I would guess that whatever is like further down might be our destination.

Sweet. Okay. So you guys follow the murals along the wall to the left. And you see, it begins to change from an autumnal scene to a winter one. You see the red and yellow leaves give way to dead trees with twisted bear branches. But then the landscape transitions to snow. And it changes from kind of images of cold death to calm beauty. You see snowflakes dot the air as a bright moon fills the sky, snow on the

earth reflecting its light, and quickly you guys reach the end of this hall and find yourself in another room kind of same size as the other one. With a final piece of this mural, you see the figure of a large blue fairy, this silver creature with tall, elf-like ears. It looks like a lanky, sullen young man with medium-like long hair hanging over one side of his face. Very emo.

The emo vibes keep coming. I connect with this, Papa. one side of his face, very evil vibes keep coming. I connect with this papa. Azerk goes over and is like, wow, that's a pretty cool looking fellow, huh? Do you like that? Would you like me to give you a haircut like that bud? I would, I think it would really show my darker side.

Azerk cuts some of his hair and puts it on the lantern. Now we all have bangs. You see this figure stands in a graveyard with a single tear dripping down his face. You see, with one hand, he holds a javelin, and with the other, he's got a large blue key that appears to protrude from the painting. I would certainly like to take this one.

I really like the Vietnam. I think that's where establishing a pattern of taking the keys, so I feel like we have to. At this point, we simply have to take the keys. It's weird if we don't take this key. I made a chance of the key. I made a chance of the key. Another dart flies its arc's head,

and narrow it down, is it? Oh, I'm good at that. That one, I could tell, would have killed him instantly if it had hit him. I think there's like a sliding panel that retracts after the dart fires. It's just like perfectly whatever height is there. It's just like the 5 foot 10. It's very cool.

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and same thing kind of protruding Mechanism goes back into the wall. Okay, all right. We got the keys. We got the winter key in the summer key We'd seem I quite like this winter key Do the key just the key feel warm or hot? Yeah, so the Summer key. Yeah, the summer key feels hot and the winter key feels cold. I run hot, so I'm going to keep the winter key, but if someone is violent,

they can take the summer key. Oh, I've got very cold hands, so. Okay, yeah, take the seal warm, you're up. So you're instantly warmed up. Via, you've got a cold compress, should ever you need it. I'm like making a big deal, putting it on my head under my bangs, because I'm sweating.

Just a frigid cave. So happy. Okay, shall we go down the middle? Let's do it. Straight shot. I hope you find a key for Henry. So you guys had straight down the hall, Henry, Henry Keyless.

Just kicking the dirt. Everyone has a fucking key. Did you say something? Did you mutter something? No, I was just to check in the wall for a darts back here for you, but. He's coming from. He's coming from.

You guys had straight down the hall. And you guys see a massive door. Looks to be carved of stone. And there are carvings of two fairies here. They look to be the same as the two that you saw on either ends of hallways. And they have crossed javelins just as they did entering the temple.

They're a bit more intricate here. You see the one on the left is the Sullen Young Man. The one on the right is the warrior woman with like the stern look. And you see a banner carved into the stone. And in Sylvan, you see written one path to reflect, one path to revenge, but only one path. And you see, it looks like either key would fit in the keyhole.

I would, I would lean. I think winter is the time of reflection. And I, I fight, think that there's more to be gained from reflection than revenge. Yeah, I've had enough arrows and darts fired at me today. I would be okay with reflection. Mr. Henry, what do you think? Um, yeah, you know, I think it's good to reflect. I spend a lot of time on the boat thinking about my ex-wife and my family, so let's just look at me. Okay, so okay, there's like a healthier reflection and then there's like... The way Henry does it

Arguably more dangerous than the lady who was shooting the people reflection and there's dwelling I guess it's almost like your sort of like mural would be you The rest is the lady also shooting you Yeah, that's you know that's a that's that's an image for my mind and it's really It's a that's that's an image for my mind and it really It's a little illuminating Yeah, Henry, I would say let's just try looking at the mirror and not punching it. How does that sound? Yeah, I punching it I or smashing my face against it something like that But you know, let's this is all let's talk it over

Over at can of beans I tend to fog up the mirror because I don't know So I actually don't know what I look like. This cave, it's like, it's short, it's dank, but it just doesn't have the cold, frigid air of the outside. We turn every room into a sauna. Take his little jacket and it's now a... Take the dust jacket off me, then.

Okay, come here, get that. Okay, you have to be agreeable. Get out of the dust jacket. Can I put my cold hand on Fias forehead and see what happens? A dark flies out of the wall. Okay, then I think we should all, this is yet another ritual. So we have to do this special ritual. We all have to give each other a kiss on the left cheek The left cheek on the left. Okay. Yeah, Sprydle you too. All right You guys I'll give each other little kisses come here. Thank you big love

I don't know if I got to be involved in this The ritual but It's a ritual, but we're far getting here. It's a witchcraft. Okay, I'm the authority on witchcraft. You're right. That's a witch-wool. It's a witch-wool. It's a witch-wool.

It's a witch-wool. It's a witch-wool. It's a witchcraft. Okay. And then I put the key in the hole. You're using the winter key? Winter blue key. Yes.

Yeah, sweet. Mm-hmm, cool. So you guys put the winter key into the store. And the room shakes for a moment as this massive door opens outward and you look beyond it and see a big circular room of stone. As you enter you see that there are various torn and decaying banners to the trickster and different fairies of the great grove along the walls. You see in the center of the room is a huge round wooden

table. And you see like a dozen or so wooden chairs around it that have all been like kicked around. There's kind of the obvious signs of a struggle here. You see blood stains on the walls, rusty weapons on the ground. But it looks as though once it was a place for a council to meet. Exactly. The council descended into battle.

As you say that, you hear a voice go, yes, it's so sad. Uh, you suddenly see this blue emo winter fairy appears with hair over one eye. I nudge, Spritele. Wow, so deep. They were a family working towards a common goal, but it all fell apart still is it not beautiful that it happened at all if only we could freeze time yes yes yes

yes I agree with this there are some moments in my life I wish I could return to and now I practice time magic because I want to change the past. Okay! Nice to meet you! Change the past just to go back and relive it! Just to relive the good parts! Over and over! Just to view them once more!

Is there just not silently disagreeing but nodding because friends do this? Yep, stasis is good! What was the name of the family that was here? It was a family table, not a sort of like war council or something political. Oh, a family, as in any group can be a found family. A group working towards a common cause. Fiya starts like shuffling awkwardly and kind of looks at Henry and Zirk. After he says the family that

The lot of you were found family, but no, I didn't say that. I didn't say that if only I could freeze you Oh us I Freeze you and keep you here forever Please do not do that We have many things to do. Did you see Patilda pass through here? Oh, Patilda, that is a name I have not heard in a long time. Mostly because no one talks here, because no one is here. There used to be lots of talk, lots of laughter. I would stand in the back looking sullen. That my name oh when the sullen I would stand and

view from afar but now that those times have passed I can sit and reflect and think back on my friend Betilda and all the times I never really truly spoke to her but I think it back I think he reflects like you reflect Henry. Yeah, that is quite clear. And actually seeing this, I am starting to see the error of my way. Just a little bit. I was kind of wondering if you saw some of your own self-talk in this great fairy.

Yes, you don't want to get stuck on the reflection. You could stare at your reflection for ever and you go hungry and you decay and you starve. And I guess I should just move on, but sometimes... Oh, when? Yes, sometimes you just can't, right? Sometimes you just can't. Sometimes you just have to freeze time as it were.

And is there a way to do that? You can quite literally freeze things, so they stay unchanged, but unfortunately time marches on. Oh, is that a lyric? Time marches on, I'm trying it out. Spitals bob in their head, aren't you? I think this could work for me. We could start like a three piece or what?

Three pieces or so. All the pieces you need in a punk band. I kind of love that you're like some kind of immortal fairy and you're like still like trying out new hobbies and like have the confidence to be bad at something that you're starting for. Bad, that's it. What do you mean? Fia goes and inspects a chair.

Just starts like really checking to make sure the chair is good. It's really loud. Okay. Yeah, that's good. Well together it's old kids would, but there are nails. You asked about the tilde, perhaps? Yes, it's best if I showed you by sharing with you a memory forever frozen in my mind.

Yes, please. Yeah, you could just like read us a book, but if that's the way you want to do it, that's okay. Ah! You see, he'll stand out. And you feel a cold chill as he disperses and turns into like a dozen blue wisps. You see they float around the room

and take places at the table until the wisps take the forms of ghostly visages of blades and smiths. Specifically, you recognize some of the folks here. You see Dr. Nebelis here, you see Ken Lee is here, you see Batilda is here, you also see the Prophet Cain is here sitting at the table. There are a bunch of other people as well, not people that you recognize. You don't hear anything. You just see the vision of these specters talking to each other, you see a lively debate. Look at Patilda, she holds court, everyone respects her.

Yeah, you see, she and Kane are kind of getting into it. And you see, it seems like people are kind of ganging up on Ken Lee and Patilda, and, and Penley kind of looks like a very conciliatory kind of like trying to be like the intermediary and stuff. And Kane is kind of like really going on the attack here. You see, after a bit, a woman in a long robe is suddenly standing at the front of the table. It seems like we're fast forwarding a little bit. Everybody starts to move like quickly and you see she appears. You see she's wearing a long robe.

Very much has the look of a sorceress. Someone you haven't seen before. She addresses the table and you see this leads to a shouting match to the point where it eventually escalates to violence. And you see the sorceress summons a bunch of constructs like these earth elementals that come out of the wall and begin attacking people at the table.

And in addition to the constructs, you see Cain attacks Batilda and they begin fighting and going at it. And you see, this is just like a slaughter. They're kind of quickly overwhelmed, despite sort of the combative words that were being had during the debate. It looks like all of the blades are on the same side

at this point except for Kane, who looks to have like joined the Sorpsor's right away. You see, during this melee almost everyone is killed, but you see Nebel and Kenley escape through one doorway and you see a bunch of these earth elementals follow them. The other doorway, you see Batilda and Cain are having a knock down dragout fight through it. Then you see the wisps and the ferry disappear and you are left in this room. You see there are two doors leading deeper into the temple here. You see the one Batilda went in and you see the one that the constructs followed Kenley

and Penley into into Arthur Penley. Kenley. Can I go to this? I'm not going through this door, but can I go to the door that but till the headache fight in and I want to see if in this cave any of her blood was saved. Yeah. Go ahead and give me an investigation check. 30 20. You see that there is some blood near the doorway? I'll say that you saw during this struggle. You saw that she was cut on like her arm at one point. Mr. Zyrkuzka, vile me.

It's possible to do a vile. Spins it on all of his fingers. I take like one of Henry's razor blades and scrape it in. I have no magic to do anything with this, but it just seems like something I could someday use. Yeah, I mean, blood's always good to have. Especially when you are a witch. Okay.

What are you all thinking? Well, I guess first and foremost, it's good that we know what happened in the past, but I'm a little more worried about the recent past. Is Owen still here? Owen seems to have disappeared. Okay. And also, here's something that you guys would kind of know

about the Greater Fairies, just as a general rule that's just known about their lore and stuff. When the greater fairies visit the material plane, it's almost kind of like a projection of them, like they can kind of like appear to you. So just because Owen came and talked to you this one time does not mean he's necessarily like here in his full form and can lead you through or something like that. Do we see any traces of Cubert in this room? Cuber?

Cuber? Yeah, go ahead and give me an investigation check with advantage. Spritele, could you go into Blacklight mode please? We'll do. Oh, so much blood. I hope it's blood. We hope it's blood. In episode of Room Raiders.

Classic reference. It's a book I read. It's where they go. People's dorm rooms and the right about what they see. Wow, first-hand accounts. It gets salacious. 22. 22. Yeah, there are recent footprints that have disturbed

the dust of this room. Did it seem like the door to this room was mangled or altered in some way? It does not look like the doors were damaged. It looks like they are pretty like heavy oak and even being kind of like kicked in or something, it looks like they would survive most stuff. Just seems like however QB got in this room, she might have used some sort of a magical means or I don't know, maybe she has like some sort of skeleton key or something like that because both of the keys were in place so we should be prepared for anything when we

meet her. You also know that based on kind of what VIA had gathered up top with her detect magic, everything was magical. So for all you know, there could be a keys out there right now. Those walls just spitting out keys. Oh, okay, cool. And I'll say the footsteps look like they're leading down the same way that Patilda went in this vision.

Okay, I am of the mindset that we follow these footprints that mr. Zerg found because if we if we find QB at least we can make sure She is not near but till the yeah, okay. Yeah, follow that that white stain that is Hopefully blood. That's what we're having. It's sorry. It's a white blood stain. I think well under the under the lamp It's white. I don't know very stain. I think. Under the lamp, it's white. I don't really have a lamp. When I am very scared, I think my blood turns white. It's just the, I'm going to turn the lamp off now. I'm going to turn the lamp off now.

It's just confusing. So you guys open the store that it looks like QB went down. You open, you see a staircase leading downwards. And along the floor, you do see more patches of dried blood. It looks like it was really a knockdown dragout fight out here. And as you guys travel down the stairs, you get to a large room with a domed ceiling, tall pillars between which are statues of different winter fairies,

performing brave feats. You see one with a javelin is like fighting a Yeti. You see another with like a metal shield blocking an ice breath of a white dragon. You see an altar on a raised platform on which is a statue of Owen, the same winter fairy. You see in his hand is a giant blue sapphire. You see around the altar are various offerings of gold and trinkets.

And you see standing atop the platform is a short woman. About four and a half feet tall, cowboy hat and long duster, red mask over the bottom half of her face. Dark hair comes out from under her hat. You see she has a bag, looks to be some kind of magical item because she is just full on hand out, pulling in whatever drink she can get. She has this bag and she's filling it with loot. And as you guys enter the room, without even looking at you guys, you just, as you guys enter from like the other side, I'll

say you guys are about 60 feet away. You hear her go, not so fast now. I was here first. Well, I mean, you weren't really here first. The fairies were here first and you're just kind of looting and pillaging their history and heritage. So maybe think about that for a second. Hey, you know what? Hey, tell you what, QB, you loot all you want. We're just looking for a person. So, QB, I'm quick blast, cast, kill away. It's just a really...

Oh, you say that really good. Some of your hedge folk are still getting their tongue around it, but so natural to you. Everybody says it perfectly. But last, cast, kill away. You see, as she's loading up on coins and treasures and stuff, you see from under her duster two mechanical arms emerge, holding pistols.

And she goes, you all just stay where you are. I don't know how you got past my posse, but I don't like to look at you. The treasure in the bounty is mine. So run it you all start walking backwards and make camp heat yourself up some hot dogs or something. That you know everything I had a problem with everything you said right up until the very end. That sounds fine. We got hot dogs, we got beans. You help yourself to them, all right?

You actually know them. The goats went crazy on the beans. You don't have beans. No, the goats. You ate my beans and you freed my goats. No, we freed your goats. You ate my goats and you freed my beans. You don't own those goats.

You don't own those goats. The goats are doing what they want. They'll do my goats. They gods are doing what they want to do. The gods are about me. They're about me. They're about me. They're about me. They want your ghosts to stay. That is their choice.

Those ghosts are running wild and free up the mountain. I'm sure of it. You see, she kind of looks around the room and she clocks something and she goes, you know what? Why don't we continue this conversation later? You see she grabs the sapphire from the statue, and instantly you feel the room rumbling.

You see a doorway at the end of the room. It begins lowering, you see she tips her hat, and in a flash runs over and slides under it as it closes. You hear the sounds of machinery as zirirk swinging blades begin to fall from the ceiling. There you go. And the pillars begin to slide along tracks, attempting to crush you. You'll also see the eyes.

You guys, it's happening. The eyes of the statue that once held the sapphire begin to glow blue. The door behind you guys closes. Everyone roll initiative. Bye, hard boy. I just quit on my initiative. Bye, everybody. I just quit. I'm an initiative.

Don't for you. You know I hate it when I do that, but I kind of still look it. It's fun. It means you get to go first, even if you haven't thought of all the stuff you wanna do yet. I got a 25. And I got a 17.

13 for Zerk. Fiya, at initiative 25, you are first. You see these whirling blades coming down from the ceiling, you see these pillars coming in from the sides, and you see the statues eyes begin to glow blue. What would you like to do? This thing is glowing, can I do like an insight check on this statue or like what we can do to like if there's something that will stop whatever's happening? Yeah, you can go ahead and make an insight check.

17. 17. 17. I'm gonna say that you have not seen what this thing has done yet. The statue looks magical. The other things look mechanical. Like they could be like, you know, physically destroyed or interrupted.

The statue can't really get a read on yet. Okay, fuck it. I'll just cast Bless on all three of us so that we're, if we have to make that dexterous. You guys are all blessed. You guys see the statue glows blue. There is a blush as a cold freezing breeze of air shoots through the room.

Everybody go ahead and give me Constitution saving throws. Ooh, okay. And add your D4s. Matt, 20. Whoa, that was nice. I guess. It just feels refreshing. I'm 19.

I run hot. Shout out to the two crew. That is not going to do it. So you guys see, Zirk begins to freeze solid. You see his legs like up to his knees are frozen and he is a stuck there. He's like grapple essentially. That is Henry's turn. You see thick frost all around Zirk as these blades are about to come down. These pillars are about to come down. The statue looks like it's not gonna stop either.

Okay, is there I mean is there any cover that we can get from the pillars or the blades? Is there any where we can dodge? Yes, as an action, you can do an investigation check to kind of get the feel for the blades and see, you know, in what direction they're coming and that will give the blades disadvantage anytime they try to attack you Okay, so that's you like video game watching the rhythm of the blade

Just they come and like figuring out how to how to move through this room the titular character also does it in the D&D movie film Okay, well, yeah, I guess I'm gonna do that, but I also would like to just yell to To this statue and be like this your security system is bad She got away Let us out will help frosty air coming out as you breathe carbon dioxide into this room I didn't think anyone was in there. All right, Henry. Can you see if it's ball bearings or if the Gatians are greased, please,

I need to know. Go ahead and give me an intelligence check or an investigation check, Henry. Okay. It's DC 15. That is a 16. 16. Henry, you get the rhythm of them.

They're gonna have disadvantage against you now. Hi. And can I unleash Hank's incarnation to kind of maybe like spear tackles tackle Zirk out of his frozen feet? He can try to chip off the ice if you'd like it has an AC and HP to break it off. Okay, so I'll have Hank Attack Zerks Right on legs. What are you doing 15 AC threshold to to like hit and 15 HP to break it all off and get him free? Hank rolled a 15 hits.

Oh my God, you just might do it. That's 15, 15 image. Yeah. Completely shatters the ice. Save some of the ice, save some of the ice. Oh yeah. If it runs very hot, she needs that. I actually was thinking of using it to try to put it where the

sapphire was, but also I run hot. I fully shatter the ice around a Zirk. That is the whirling blades. They are no longer going to have advantage on Zirk. Zirk is now free to move normally. Rolls with disadvantage against Henry It's only 14 to hit misses. Yes, roll state fia That's gonna hits

Jesus Christ still crits on Zurk good thing. Well, actually he searches stairs right at this blade quick out of the way now roll combat roll roll now 24 damage, Zirk. Okay! Emphia, you take 13 damage. Zirk, that is your turn. Okay, so I'm not frozen anymore, which is great. You said that the end of the room where the statue is like 60 feet away? Yeah. I'm going to send Sprydl towards the end of the room. the statue is like 60 feet away. Yeah, I'm gonna send Spritell

Towards the end of the room, okay, and say Spritell I don't know if that platform over there is triggered by weight or if it needs to be a specific sapphire But see if you can go rest your little body on it, okay? I will try my best papa And I know that these blades are dazzling and wonderful, but you've got to be careful for them. They are very sharp. The spryddle slaloms through the blades, goes up to the... Wow, slalim, that's a cool word. I've yet to encounter that in my books.

I like it very much. Goes up to the statue. I'm going to say, go ahead and what would this be? Let's say give me a performance check. I'm gonna use my stats. No. Let me look at Spritell stats. If they have better charisma than me,

this is something I need to grapple with. You're in luck. Spritell's charisma is minus two. Just a little better. Good, that's how I like it. It's gotta be the new email you're cutting. Yeah. Yeah.

Zerk pulls out a camera to watch the performance. Yeah. That is going to be a eight, unfortunately. An eight. Eight is not gonna do it. You see, Spritele settles in there. It's comfortable, Papa, but it does not look like it's doing anything.

It's really cold over here. Just pretend you're a sapphire. I'm trying. You're my shining diamond. I think blue. That's the problem, Bob. But diamond. You're too dazzling.

Zerg, is there anything else you'd like to do with your turn? I will just take out my gun and try and shoot at one of these traps. Great. Yeah, go ahead and do you want to shoot at the pillars of the blades? Remind me how the pillars work. The pillars are like coming in sideways. They're on like

tracks essentially and are trying to like crush you. They have not acted yet. Um, let's do the the blades. The blades look way more menacing, yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and make a shot at them. Um, does a 16 hit. 16 does hits. Woo! Okay. First time shooting a gun. Just blasting it into whirling blades that just cut you. Oh, hell yeah That's a 10 plus 13 points of damage. You see you fuck up one of the sort of whirling Apparatuses Apparatus eye. I don't know. Apparatized. Apparatized. Yeah, that's perfect. Apparatite. I believe. And it looks like it will have a harder time hitting you. It does look like you have affected it.

I whisper a silent uelogy for this beautiful machine. At an initiative eight, that is the crushing pillars. Everybody give me deck saves. You can use your bless. Oh, great. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. It's not going to help.

This is a five. Oh, no, that's not gonna help. This is a five. Oh, no, that's not good. I ain't got an eight. Okay, Zirk got a 19. Okay, Zirk, you pass. You just take six damage, which is half. Fia and Henner, you guys both take 12 and are knocked prone. Okay, now I'm actually really bad for health.

Does anyone have some sort of shiny gemstone that they could throw to spread? And I just got that one on my concentration, so we are not blessed anymore. Wait, no, you can still have the, you can, no, you can not, you roll. I can reroll it. No, actually, it's just a charge

because you have the mind sharpener necklace. Whenever the creature fails a constitution saving throw to maintain concentration on a spell, it can use its reaction to succeed instead. It's been in a charge. Oh, sweet. Nice. Perfect.

Smell those salts. Awesome. So I like, I am so exhausted. I'm down to five hit points, but then I look at Zirk, see all he's cut overcome this battle. And then the smell of the salts wafes into my nose and I essentially do cocaine. Actually, I think I'm really strong. I could thank this. And then I'm going to send bookvart to try to do the same thing. I'm going to have

bookvart collect some of this ice, like some that looks like a little nub in, that looks like a sapphire chunk, and try to put it in. Okay, our kids are doing a play. Give me a performance check for Book Bar. Okay. It's gonna be a three with a minus two, so that's a wrap. You see, just a book flapping around this magic statue of a little UFO going around. Oh, miss, I don't think this was a fact about you. Whoa, I'll be careful with you around the heart.

That he's melting the ink on your page. Yeah, really good stuff, everybody. I like this show. Be careful we run hot The ink on your page Really good stuff everybody I like this show. Yeah, look for us doing great is this is first time acting No Emma Sapphire look at me Okay, and then I'm going to cast a third-level shatter on these Pillars cool. Oh, rad. 11 damage, but they have disadvantage on trying to save because they're organic material.

Yeah, no, they don't save. Yeah, they're not going to move. OK, so 11 damage on the pillars. OK, I just feel like it was better to go after the pillars instead of the, because I felt like if I shattered the things above us, they would just fall on us and kill us. But then we could see inside and look at all the mechanisms

and gears. And that's my turn. Sweet, that'll make the deck save easier to get around them. That is back up to the icy stair. Everybody go ahead and give me con saving throws. Just board with there. 18 passes. 14 fails.

18 for Zork. OK, you guys see, Fiya is frozen up to her knees. That is Hank's turn Can I say that can we say that while it was happening? I had a sense of humor about it and I threw up peace signs. Yeah So it's just like a really like Why are you getting it? She's chill everyone. It's really funny. Wait. Wow. Why are you pretending to hold scissors? I don't know No, it's chill, it's peace signs. It's like peace, you're in danger. Do you want me to cut you out of ice?

I'm trying to be a sapphire over here. It's also like self-debrigating, like something bad is happening to me. And I'm just like, okay, we need it. Well, you run hot, are you at least feeling equalized? Oh, that's a really good question for Merf. Merf, that's the DM, what's your... No, you feel good, that's the DM. Probably for Merf Merf as the DM what's your no you feel Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably negate. Yeah, perfect. No, you're yeah, you're free to move

You could do whatever you want I Henry that's your turn. All right. I'm gonna use both my attacks. How is the I guess I'm gonna use both my attacks to just try to Fuck up the blades great Yeah, I'll say they swing down next turn. So they're like right near you. All right. That's two 15 to hit them. That hits both. Great. Another entry into our rogue's gallery.

First boulders and now blades. Oh, there we go. That's going to be 29 damage total. Shee! Jesus Christ. Sweet. You see these blades are quite fucked up. They're not looking nearly as impressive or imposing as they were before.

Sweet, that is the Whirling Blade Stern. Nobody is prone. They have less of an attack bonus now. Go after Fia, Nath1n misses. Thirteen misses, Zerk. Correct. Twelve misses, Henry. The whole ceiling is like a mess with them and they're just swinging in all directions But you have slowed down a bunch of them up. Zerk tries to shine a flashlight on it Like when you're on space mountain and you can kind of see what's going on in the distance You do see that there are little critters up there cause and trouble

Show yourself Zerk that is your turn. I will do a second level Show yourself, this is Eric, that is your turn. I will do a second level cure wounds on FIA to get her back up. Great. And then I'll use my movement to try and get as close as I can to Sprydell and the platform. Cool. And I guess I'll see if Sprydell and BookFar

want to do another play for me. Oh, great. Let's try, sir. So now I'm in the audience for Sprydell. That was a problem before. Is that was too far away and Spryddle wasn't feeling inspired. Okay, so this is gonna be really hard. Spryddle is essentially trying to like

recreate the weight of the sapphire. So it was like wrapping things that are like on the altar and stuff and trying to stay still. Cool, let me roll the healing for Fia first. Okay. Oh, thank you, thank you. 14 plus eight, that's 22. Oh my god. Yeah, I get plus four and then extra plus four for being an alchemist

That was very impressive. You really are a doctor. Shh the play is starting. Oh, I'm so sorry our children. I am a sapphire and I am a sapphire a sapphire and I am a sapphire. Hold hands, don't be shy, Bufar! Alright. Zurk is mouthing the lines along. I am a sapphire. People just keep saying that they're sapphires. Okay, minus two, Christmas check. Here we go! Let's do it. That's a four! A terrible play. I am a sma fire Book better all the total of one and and I want to see if book fire knows that that performance was Why you guys nervous. It's just us here. I'm a really tough audience Henry. I'm really nasty, I throw. I don't believe you guys are best friends. I feel like you've been putting plays on, you know, in the dead woods.

I know, but we won't get better unless we give each other the hardest criticism. Everybody go out and give me dexterity saving throws for the pillars. Pia, Pia, you automatically fail. Yeah, okay, well, I actually rolled and I failed anyways. There you go. 15, okay, well, I actually rolled and I failed anyway. There you go.

15, that's 12 for Zirk. 12 fails. You and Fia take 8, Henry, you take 4. Okay. That looks all good. That is Fia's turn. Fia, you are frozen to the ground right now. Does that mean I cannot cast a spell?

You can cast a spell, you have complete control of your upper body, you're just stuck to the floor here. You're essentially grappled. You have control of your upper body if you wanna let go of the peace sign though. Yeah. No, this is the frozen, I can't, I can't. That's the end of it.

It's true, it's true. Get your legs up frozen. It's true, Mr. Henry. It's true, because you're fighting out the negativity. I get it, because of scissors. Bookmark, don't you have a play to be performing? I am a smafer. Oh yeah, Bookmark will do.

Bookmark will see if he can do his thing. Bookmark! There's no way you're gonna do it. I have all that for. He's absolutely dying of that. Somehow the book is sweating. I am... I'm sweating and yet it's so cold.

I'm throwing non-stop threes and forthrees. Okay. Can I swing my upper body with the sword at the ceiling? You can swing at the blades as they come down. Yeah. Oh, okay, so I will bonus action healing word mr. Zerke. I'm so sorry. It won't be anything near what you can do, but I will try my best Nine nine hit points great And then with my action, can I attack the blade? Certainly. 24 hits. Oh, you know what? I'll do fucking green flame blade because I think it doesn't

extra some extra fire damage now. That's right. Yes, it does. Oh yeah. Nine damage because I rolled Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Nine damage because I rolled two ones in a three. Three. Fiya connects with her great sword, but she does the thing that you do in baseball. We're like, you get a bad hit with the bat, and it just shakes your whole body like it hurts your hands.

Can we say that I, the reason I rolled so poorly is that I wasn't willing to get rid of one of the peace signs so I swung with her arm. Yes. At an initiative 20, that is another icy stare. Everybody give me consaving throws. rid of one of the peace signs, so I swung with him. Yes. At an initiative 20, that is another icy stare. Everybody give me cons saving throws. Boy, I fuck.

Okay, going to pass. Okay, Fiat, Fiat, you stay the same. Fiat are still frozen, but you stay otherwise okay. It's a 24. Zerk just touches Fiat's shoulder and is so warm. Warm, everything have ever been. That's a 16. 16 passes, Henry.

You're good. Hank, that's your turn. Okay, I'm gonna take two more attacks on the blades. Great. That is an 18, sorry, a 24 and a net one. And net one obviously does not hit. The other one hits. Cool.

11 damage to the blade. Sweet. This blade is just completely fucking useless essentially. It's like now there's like one thing that is just like flopping down like really lazily, twirling a blade around. Oh yeah. I'm gonna unleash Shank and have him attack the ice around for you. Right on.

All right, I'm down here. I got this. I'm just, I am away from the peacine because I just, I'm looking at the peacine way up there. This is just how you feed Shank. Don't hit the peacine. The peacine is like, she's tall as hell. She's like six feet tall.

I'm not gonna hit the fucking peacine. Try to get her feet. We're just telling you to be careful. Yeah, you don't feed the, yeah. I'm gonna fucking head off. I'm telling you, I'm not the head of peacine. The peacine is in a bar, bro. You're not the only one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Don't shoot. I'm telling you, not the other piece. You're not a Bible. You know, it's more like surgery.

Right, yeah. Right, yeah. Right, yeah. The voice of you sign because that's what my identity comes from. That's 10 damage. 10 damage. You see, chipping away at it, it is still there though. All right, damn.

Cirque, that is your turn. I'll just take my 30 feet of movement. Actually, as my action, I will free-fea. Oh, sweet. Yeah, I have a little jar. I pour some grease on the floor, and then I light it with a match to hopefully magically melt my ass around the table.

I knew they would come burn me. I'm a witch, you knew. I knew this day would come. Oh, is that a good not to you? I realized that is a traumatic thing that I've just knew this day would come. Is that a good not you? I realize that is a traumatic thing that I've just done. There's a history to that, and I apologize. So you use your fire can trip, shoot a little fireball at the ice here, hits, and that is going to be,

oh, that's just two points of fire damage. It's gone. It's successfully, even with that little amount of damage, takes it over the top free, you're able to break free. Awesome. And then I can then I'd like to use my movement to run up to the platform. Great. I'll throw to the show. You get up to the platform. All right. Front row seats. Spritele. Now's your chance. What are we doing, sir? I feel like this isn't going to do it. All right, if you need your line, it's I am a snapfire, okay?

That's what you've been saying. Snapfire, I am a sapphire. Are we sure it was a sapphire? Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe it was an amber. A blue diamond. The problem is that book bar is in harmonizing properly. Excuse you. You're going to black or my son. You're going to black or my son. Make is that book bar is in harmonizing properly. Excuse you.

You're going to go after my son. You're going to go after my son. Make this about book bar. It could possibly be Spritele. I am a smell of fire. I am a smelly. I understand. My Henry could do no wrong either.

There's nothing else I can do really. So I'm just going to use my bonus action to try and roll a Nat 20 for a Spritell's performance That is a nat 4 Again, this is not this is the equivalent of just banging her head against the wall. This does not seem like it's gonna work The pillars everybody give me deck saving throws. Albert Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over again is cool and will eventually lead results.

Shout out to the tilt crew. Nine for FIA. Sixteen for Zirk. Okay. Uh, 11 damage to Henry. 11 damage to FIA. You guys get knocked over. Uh, FIA, that's your turn.

Just these pillars. Bashing shit. Room starting to suck. Once again, I look to book. What? What? Miss, please, surely. Surely there's something else you could do. Bragg just makes perfect.

Miss. That just makes perfect. Yes, yes. But you also. I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried,

I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried, I just cried So I went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went up and went I just have to become the sapphire. You see a pop-up of a sapphire jewel comes out of the book. Both of our turn simpsilf upside down, props himself into the fairies' hand. And you see the blue eyes, shut off, turns back into a regular statue You see the pillar stop. There's just one creaky blade swinging like And this room has been conquered in the stupidest way possible I look at Zerker I say yeah Okay, hey guys, guys. Sprite'll say you're sorry.

I wasn't the one insulting you. Okay, actually, guy, just guy. And you see as this statue is deactivated, you see that this doorway opens. Is it the doorway that QB ran through? It is. Okay. Okay, I- Sh shows over. Do we hear

like because when we talk to Kenley, he said that this temple was sunken. Do we hear like the sound of water? You actually do hear water coming from the next room. Okay. Then I am ready to go. Does anyone have anything else they need? As long as there's not an encore of this show, cause it actually took a turn and it was incredible. Book of our Sprite, I'll take your bows and let's do it. All right, yes. Equal billing, both take your bows the same time,

I would say. Bravo. I am a smafer. Bravo. same time I would say. I am a sma fire. Yeah, I'll say you guys you guys go and walk through this doorway. Bookfar is now close enough to this door that I'll say that it does seem to reactivate once he lifts up but he's able to easily slide under the door. Not only can you take a full dash action, but also he's very small.

So he gets under it before it closes all the way. Before we go, can I reload my flint lock? Yes, cool. You take a moment. I just need 15 to 20 minutes. Right. You guys enter this next room. You go through the door, and you see a long stone bridge

in the middle of a huge cavern. You see it really opens up here. You see darker bists on either side of this bridge. There's no bottom in sight. And you see that there are waterfalls coming down from both sides of the cave wall. You could hear it crashing into the water deep below. And at the other end of the hallway, you see another stone statue of this winter fairy with his hands held

out. Looks like he's like blocking another door. As you guys enter, Zerk and Fia, go ahead and give me luck checks. 15. That's a net one. That one. Okay, as you guys walk in, out of the shadows, in like the corner near the door, quick blast, cast, Calaway, grabs Zirk. Zirk, go ahead and give me an athletics check.

Oh, what's the opposite of a specialty? Oh, fuck me, shout out to the three crea- this is a check. Yep, it doesn't matter, my- Yep. Bonus is zero. Okay, um, you see, as you guys are like looking around the room, she suddenly jumps out, grabs, zerk, by the collar, holds him over the edge.

Ah! Um, you see the other mechanical hands open up her huge bag of holding and she goes, all right, now give me your weapons, you step back, and then this guy won't have to go for a swim here, huh? And that's where we'll end our session. Ah! Ah!

Oh, fuck you! Wow. The return fuck you. Wow. Oh, boy. The return of Faldwell. I figured that was going to happen. I was going to go after Fia, but I was like, you know what? She's going to go for one of the two smaller ones, but of course, Codal rolled bad. Sometimes you don't need the dice to tell the story, but it helps to have them there.

Yeah. Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening. We'll talk more about this around our Patreon, patreon.com slash napa. That's NADDPOD, don't sing. Yeah. I refuse to sing. I'm dead and falling. He's gone.

Yes. Does anybody have anything they would like to plug? I'll plug the return of me and my brother's podcast, The Goat Show, The Host's Bank. Oh, the Maddags since we had so much goat content this episode. Yeah, it was actually, it was all... Jake, you were kind of, that was actually seated in there. You asked Merff to put those goats in there. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

As viral marketing. This was branded content. I'm glad that I bet no one really noticed right up until the end I thought it was weird that the goat's name was Micah and the other Jacob. Yeah, there were two there were two goats. That's right. And actually this this week's episode We're talking about the greatest beans of all time Best bean cans. Yeah Answer will surprise you

I would love to plug our PO box and the fun people that sent us stuff there. People like Eekaiser who sent us a big box of Girl Scout cookies. Thank you very much. I must confess, I kept all those for myself because they were delivered right after Sues gave birth and I needed them. I needed them. We needed them. That's a solid excuse.

They're delicious. I'm making my way through the tag alongs right now. E.Kaizer, you are a hero. Oh, Charles F. sent us a handmade leather dice roller, dice bags, and wooden tokens with our initials. The leather smells so rich. It's incredible. So, thank you, Charles.

If you're ever in Quebec, check out their store. It's called Magico in Quebec. Lots of fun in Quebec Carson L sent Jake a Bill's t-shirt to commemorate them winning their first playoff. Oh Merck was wearing that around the house yesterday. Yes. Oh, yeah, sure Let's go bills next year's their year I guess y'all will have to fight over it It's right. I guess y'all will have to fight over it next time. You're in Town jake.

I'm returning to LA for one reason and one reason. I'm gonna see that bill in certain person. Re from the three Cree gave us custom spell cards for each member of the third mates. I'm just really excited. I can't wait to actually use them in the campaign now that I'm getting more spells. Yes.

That's so cool. Very cool. Thank you so much. Rachel Inn in PA sent us a lovely letter and some custom stickers of our characters. Oh, you're so glad. We can help you enter the fantastic realm of D&D, Rachel. Thank you. Speaking of custom characters, Quill Inn sent custom character embroidery for Beverly moonshine, Balmore and Hard One.

Also, Quill is getting married. So congrats on your upcoming wedding, gosh. Yes, we'll be there. I think it's good deeds, like sending us cool embroidery that earned you the karma to get a great marriage. It's true. You got that, yes. If you want love and success and happiness,

you must give us boons, that's how it works. And then Heather T. sent Emily a set of Golden Girls tarot cards. Oh, they're so awesome. I really want to have my fate permanently foretold by them, Emily. Next time we see each other. So yeah, that's from our PO box, 1920 Hill or Savinoon.

Number two to two, Los Bliscallaborna 900027. One less blog, watch Big City Greens. My last two episodes aired, and I think they turned out really great. Please check it out, it's a cute show. Sorry for being a plug hog. Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on various social media that I don't use anymore, but other people might, and that's their right.

They can do that. At CHMURFUSME, AdCaldis to all, Ad asked for it's Emily, and at J. Croit's is Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's NADDPOD. Here we go. We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, I need to hear you come and make sure to... I am a smiley... I need to hear you come and make sure to... Is the Annel show, babies? And that means that we need to shout out our Benevolent Council of Elders and Benevolent Yee-Bee.

Starting off with Brad D, Jeffre S, Haldor Frostback, Steel Breaker, and Matt M, Orrick Ommy Wizards who helped great create all of Bookfars pop-up pages. Just wait until Ian Leesha's dollar billed jumping frog attack. Next up we got Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Golo, and Dylan B. Writers for Booby Enthusiast Monthly, a magazine about booby traps and dungeon design. Most of their job is answering emails and phone calls from very confused, very horny customers.

Shurbert the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scottie. Wild goats who welcomed the bandits goats into their herd. Now they formed their own gang of bounty hunters called the bandits, and they exclusively steal tin cans. DINNY-P, McSallogist Michael McD, Boundores Boy, Andrew B, and Kevin S. Spritell's fairy friends who are all extremely jealous of their glow-up and have started stealing scrap metal on human hair to transform themselves into emo UFOs,

conspiracy theorists and barbers across Elder Morn are thrilled by this development. Justin I, Ragnar, Ferd Wind, TJM, the gnome barbarian, Elena M and Trayle the crayfay. Members of Elder Morn's only Cyclops bowling league, they're willing to expand their operation, but are having trouble finding more than ten giant spiders willing to stand together in a triangular shape while a giant cyclops hurdles towards them at high speed. Jared E. Christopher B. Austin Bonsa. MR. Damien R.

And cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Summer fairies who are devastated that the third mates chose the reflection room. Now the hot tub and warm oil massages they had prepared are going to go to waste. Octo Lich, Gage M, Richard X Machina, Michael L, and Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya's Dece Sakwani, employees at Vervein Industries who are in charge of putting together weapon packages for henchmen and goons. Their motto is reloading? Yes.

Re-thons? No! Trash the traveler, Sir Carl. Jury S. Dana G. Kalim L. and Ryan. Scientists who want to study Fia to understand how someone could run so hot. Their current leading theories are a faulty wording tattoo, and that she accidentally

swallowed a magic cigar. Jack L. flawless whale, temporal, Sam L. and Nicholas C. The stagehands of the sapphire performance who were getting so pissed off that book fart and sprytle kept flubbing it up. Reese NS Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E, and Colton B. Bounty, herders, they're like bounty hunters, but they're much more polite when they find their fugitives. Adam G, Mateo C, Nabadger, Panama James, and... Cumans, the Bard, or Cumans, the Bard, not sure. The artists who painted the key frescoes, they worked super hard and were pretty

peved when trickster magic made them just disappear. Adrian the Halfling Bard, Dan, Nikki W. Grace G, and Drew Nasty, a group of inventors who were blessed with all wins ability to replay past moments in time. But instead of using it for much needed exposition, they mostly just use it to relive the same five stories from high school that no one cares about. All one couldn't be prouder. Cece Lulu, Jay, Lan T, Barnes & Aitor, and Michelle O, interns under Zerks' mom. They feel so fortunate to be working under such a successful entrepreneur and also to be getting paid in guns.

Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Croc, Wearing Warrior, Lucas B. Aaron S. And Kevin M. The Jewelers who outfitted all of quick blast-casts, callowways, metal arms with gorgeous diamond bracelets. What, Mervdin mentioned those? Huh, weird. Austin C. Hawkfishes above

average hog. New York, Steven C. and KJ. Goat self-defense teachers. So far the first lesson, which is just run, hasn't sunk in. Michael M. Raoul N. Mike K. Maxwell C. and Karen T. The Makers of the Magical Seasonal Keys. Sure, the magic is unnecessary, but shotgunning a beer with an ice-cold key rules. Justin Raccoon. Nick W. Michael C. Esme Am. And Spartakness. All wins, emo friends, who keep pristine, frozen vinyl records of every dashboard confessional album. They're too frosty to play, but damn do they look good. Nathan, Kazami, the all-knowing, big bad beard of the mad. Eric M. and Jack Meehaw.

The only known bandets to be able to say, quick blast cast Callaway 5 times fast without flubbing it. Burley T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius, Cesar, Augustus, Germannicus, Christian A, and J, Dragonborn, Keepers of the Winter Key. The crew run so hot they need a supernaturally frigid metal object as a cold compress at all times. Joro the inopropro, Cody B, the Sandrayan, Ben A, Feldonis, and Dave H, the locksmiths of the temple. If ever the winter or summer key are lost, just call

them up, and in about two to three weeks, they'll open the doors for you, as long as they survive the trek through the mountains. Catherine S. David Gay, Christian S. Keith Gay, Brittany B. and The Time Walker. The greatest goats of all time, aka the goat goats. These goats can eat an entire tin can without even touching the beans and 30 seconds flat. Emilio D. Frankie Cuala. Big bad John. Aston S. Blair the Bug.

Blair Barbarian. And Borkchop. The directors and producers of the movie reproduction of Bookfars, I'm a Sapphire. Timothy Shalamay is set to play bookfars and the blogs are a buzz. Chanel M. Alice, Minette F. Pat L. Attrutha A. And Lauren H. The makers of bandit beans, the only beans engineered specifically to fuel theft. These beans will make a mean." Elias Hawthorn, Janina E. Maddie Y. Alex H. The eldest Barry.

And Ryan S. The only winter fairies who aren't emo. Rather they are sad indie folk. The bone duster. Joshua H. Robert Cresp. Idrasil, Brent Lee C, and Micah B, other bandits who wish they had the nickname Horseshit, it had been an improvement from their current nicknames which include Horst diarrhea and donkey shit. Ploups, Carly Ann, Connor Savage, Russell H, Christopher J. O. and Cole, the goldfish Gremlin, purveyors of Vervein Company Fireworks. They were on a traveling operation out of necessity to avoid everyone returning and demanding their money back for the fireworks that are either dangerously faulty or complete duds.

Logan S. Leviathan, Demi A. Bioquart 7. Kenny and Remington CD. The team of vets looking at the bandits' goats who are feeling ill after eating too many beans. It's mostly just gas they must relieve so these folks are genuinely doing God's work. Amber K. Everett P. Trubhup-Dropper. K. Soce, Jesse D.L.R. and Lindsay W. BUBBEE TRAPSETTERS Who set a ton of deadly darts all over the temple.

Sadly, they counted on intruders being over six feet tall and the darts continue to waste over everyone's heads. They sound scary though. CHAMPWILD VAL SPRITE PEPSI CARLINSI ANTHONY-S AND SALI-S the Champ Wild, Val, Sprite Pepsi, Carlin Sea, Anthony S, and Sally S, All-Win, The Solens Band. They are called All-Win in the Skolkers, and Champ, Val, and Carlin All-Play Base.

Tristan C. The Goose, Jake, Emily S. The new Petty King of Alteburo Cessi. Matthew J. Scripps-Scripper and Zane C. Butitians that gave Spritele their emo makeover. It took a team effort to paint all of Spritele's nails black since they're so tiny. And Zane C. Got the Banks to swoop absolutely perfectly. Michael S. The Bone Duster.

Why it be... L'O Fyodor. Rogue Cree, Daniel N, Sam N, and Joseph H. The mechanics who made quick blast cast Caloiz machine arms, they didn't know the arms would be used for ill deeds, but even so, no one has any regrets, because they're just so damn cool. David S. Mr. Dude's Guy, that's a good one.

Conflicted DM, Justin LB, Zachary Kay, Connor P, and Dandy. Playwrights who penned the original play, I am a smaffire. It turns out those were actually the correct words. They would have been so proud to see Bookfarer deliver. Perhaps the best performance of their work to date. And that is everyone. Thank you all. We love you all so much. Bye, Sweeties.