Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 19: Blade Witch

Episode Date: April 9, 2021

The Third Mates enter a tense stand-off with Quick Blast Cass Calloway! Zirk teeters on the edge, Henry roasts Shank, and Fia learns the fate of her mentor. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford. "The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."The Posse" by Emily Axford."Buzzer's Cutters" by Emily Axford."The Bronze Bastard" by Emily Axford."A Memory" by Emily Axford."The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."The Ruins of Cragwater" by Emily Axford."Faceless" by Emily Axford."Eldermourne" by Emily Axford."The Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford."Escape From Smuggler's Bounty" by Emily Axford."Into the Planar Pool" by Emily Axford."The Pact" by Emily Axford."Cetacean Farewell" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody. Elder Morn! Yes, I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. He's got bangs. His friend has bangs. Henry Hogfish. Then of course we've got Emily Axfer. Can I actually tusks, but okay.

Another day, little week. Let's talk about another friend. Paige Mom Beach, Fia Bogania. Whoa, okay. I am a smathfire. And then of course we've got Carl Doltaner. Oh, healing his peers with venom from spiders and shedding a tear at Spritals, recital. It's Zirk Vervane.

Yee-hunk. Oh, why always with the e-haw now. I think I saw the cowboy hat, the cast cowboy was wearing, I was like, maybe that's for me, maybe I want that. That actually makes a lot of sense. For some reason, I thought you were gonna say, because of the rhyme setup, I thought you were gonna say from Sears, like Sears department store,

I don't know why I wear Zerk shops, excuse me. If I thought Zerk might shop at Sears, like Sears department store. I don't know why I wear Zerk shops. If I thought Zerk might shop at Sears, it gets all his components from Sears. So I am on the lookout for another Sears on I have equipped the fine Sears spell. Just a handsome, roomy suit. Sweet guys, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time you guys encountered a crew of bandits

who identified themselves as members of quick blast cast Calloway's, Posse, absolutely nailed it. That was weird. You had a week. Things looked grim for a moment there. I fucking nailed it last time too. You guys just didn't hear me.

I, yeah, I listened back on the episode and I don't know if you did pickups. No, I didn't do anything else. No, I did back on the episode and I don't know if you did tick-ups. No, I didn't do anything. No, I said as much as you did. The drama, the drama, the different tick-ups. Leave me alone. Your drama is dripping on this weekend. Stop making fun of me, you're wrong.

You're incorrect. I did, I had to do pickups to fix me calling little wrecks, big wrecks, me calling Little Rex, Big Rex, and me calling Big Rex, Little Rex, there was a lot of Rex confusion on my part. That is the thing that you're allowed to make fun of me about, but quick blast cast Callaway, I say it right most of the time. All of that ending in most of the time is really funny.

I didn't get it wrong except a few times. Yeah, moving on. No, I didn't get it wrong except a few times. Yeah, moving on. I didn't get it wrong a few times. I think just that I might have said cast Callaway, which is not its cast. Rob, either you sound in beautiful. Every time you say it, it's like a bird song. Quick blast cast Callaway. It does sound like I'm being shot four times with a gun.

I thought it was really nice too. Don't drop fucking jerk. Yeah. Ah. Ah. He falls fucking 10 feet faster every time you guys freaking make fun of me. All right.

Whatever you speak stupid, drop me, you fuck. Yes. So these bandits revealed themselves as members of quick blast casts Calloway's posse. Things looked grim from moment there as Henry was downed by Ranch. Oh, Ranch! But Fia was able to capitalize

on the bandit's reloading time while Zirk brought Henry back up. After killing Horset with Dragon Fire. He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he- What did encounter? The stench of burning horseshit feels my nostril. Yeah, it's just asheshit to shit. He's gone, and then you were able to get ranch and the rexes to surrender, learning in the process that quick blast was already in the temple. You freed some goats, then entered the temple, and discovered a summer and winter key amongst matching murals with fairies of the same seasons.

You decided to follow the winter path where upon you met the greater ferry, Olwyn the Sullen, Olwyn replied the slaughtering of the blades for you, after which you were able to follow Batilda's footsteps deeper into the temple. Here, you met quick blast cast Callaway, nailed it again, stealing from the offerings. She stole a sapphire that triggered a trap, forcing you to deal with whirling blades and forcing me to deal with you guys, putting on a play with Bookfire and Sprite,

oh, pretend he to be a sapphire. Perfect run. Finally, mercifully, bookmarked. Ready for Broadway And his picture book was able to present is a future Broadway baby Really is He was able to present a pop-up sapphire allowing you guys to enter the next room Which was a bridge over a dark abyss. Before you could cross it,

a quick blast jumped from the shadows and grabbed a jerk dangling him over the edge. She has threatened to drop him if you do not drop your weapons, and that's where we are now. Mine are attached to my hands. Yeah, you display that your claws are part of your hands. Mine are my hands too.

That's right, these are magic fingers, baby. If you want me, you gotta take me and the rest of my body, it's a total package. She just starts to let you go and then grab me. Oh my, there it goes. Very, very bad. Okay, wait, I have a question. Your name is Quick, Blessed, Cass, Callaway, right?

So guns are part of your like sort of aesthetic, right? Yes, you absolutely nailed it. Yeah. Okay, so I have a question for you because I'm wondering how you're going to get these nice pretty guns that you love so much if you drop the lady for vain son. Do you think that your arms dealer is going to give you guns if you kill her boy? That's right. Or hurt him? Or even find out that maybe you are affecting him? Holy shit. You...

Attention, Sprydell. Attention, Sprydell. Thunin, this is good shit. Fia, give me a persuasion check with advantage. Okay. You are telling the truth here. You're not lying about him being related to her. So let's see if she believes you.

Okay, I did roll in 19 minus one is an 18. Okay, amazing. Oh, she looks stunned. Ah, she is baffled. You see she does a double take, looks at you, looks at Zirk kind of eyes him up to see if she recognizes him at all. Picture me wearing a top hat, and that's it, that's it right there. You see she's essentially cowboy doc octopus, except with like four limbs instead of eight. So she's got her prime hands holding Zirk over.

She's got two mechanical hands that are holding this bag of holding. You see she pulls the bag back and with a spin of two pistols, holds them up at you with the two mechanical hands. And she goes, I'm guessing you know I work for Stella Vervein because you saw the Vs on these here weapons. Isn't that the point of corporate branding? Well, it's more than corporate branding. Stella Vervein is sponsoring this here trip. What?

We got to have money to make money and we're gonna make a lot of money you understand. Hold on, wait. She's not just your sponsor. She's not just the the weapon here behind this. She's your employer. I am what you might call a freelancer. I work for a number of people stealing everything that's not nailed down. Now, we get it. Right. Now, Stella Vervein, as anybody in my field of work knows, might be willing to front a little bit of money if she can get a little bit on the back end.

Now, what the hell is Stella Verveaine's boy doing out here. You see she roughly turns her around, like she's got him hanging over the edge, keeps the guns pointed at you guys with the mechanical arms. Spin's zirks, so he's facing her, and grabs you by the collar, you're still tilted over. She starts to lean forward and gives you a good look, looks him up and down, looks at kind of like the little

bobbles at his side like all the potions that are on him, sees the pistols, sees sprytle floating around this like little automaton and she goes you certainly got her look. Now she's never mentioned anything about having a boy. Listen, when you're in this business you you gotta keep things close to your chest. Surely, you know that. You see she nods and she goes, and you're here on a county or mom too? He is here for me, I have hired him.

With my humble means, I have baited him to come help me. Find something that is not treasured and that you cannot sell or make money on yeah call it a franchise of the family business It's just a freelancer you can't hurt our freelancer. I know all about the plot of the freelancer all right 1099s out the wazoo. Yeah, yes, I actually don't even pay him I was lying about that, but that's kind of the freelance thing, you know. You're doing a book credit experience. And what are you, what are you here for? And why are you entitled to this information from me?

I am entitled to this information because I'll let go. You are still feeling okay, I take book far and I write a quick blast cast Callaway killed Zirk and I send him off And say do you want my Vichy's familiar to find Stella Verbein? You see she real quick Is going to take a shot at book far with her mechanical hand a shot at bookfar with her mechanical hand. Can he not dash 120 feet away? She is going to do a pistol shot with disadvantage to try to shoot bookfar out of the sky. Oh no!

She has not let Zirk go yet. You see, she's a little taken aback by the fucking coincidence of it all. But as soon as you do that big thing, she just pulls out her gun and tries to blast him pistol Has only a 90 foot range so it's gonna be with disadvantage Not 15 and not 16 Big explosion as book for our de-animates and plops down on the bridge Is that your first Vitch's familiar that you have killed? Because Vichy's have long memories. I really admire your balls girl, but I got your friend dangling over the side here.

Now I'm looking at him and he's certainly got the look of his mama and she's a friend of mine but apparently they ain't close because I've never heard her say a word about him so if I kill him and then I kill you and then I kill whoever the hell this guy is she gestures to talk to me or shank a Hey! Another freelancer. Two, alright. Two other freelancers. If I get rid of all of you, I seriously doubt she's gonna lose any sleep. But may I just point out to you that the other option is you just walk away. The only thing you are trying to get right now is what? This little blade in my hand?

I promise you, I have been wielding this blade. It has no magical properties that have shown themselves to me Is it really worth compromising your workspace? Your livelihood just for this little blade is this all from an abandoned train car. It's I I see it myself First off, that is a fine-looking sword. Oh, it is most sentimental to me But I have I have no magical property to report. The reason I asked for the sword was just so you wouldn't try anything funny. What I really want is to find this witch, Betilda, or her

remains, and bring her out of here. Do you understand? So everything I did I did because I thought you were just money motivated. I am money motivated. There's 75,000 gold on the line here. Fia, you tried your best. Zerks gonna pull a gun. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Damn it.

I will say she cannot release Zerks right away, because she had essentially a held reaction. She was distracted by having to shoot Bookfar that counted as her surprise round. A sacrificial move. You're gonna have to bring him back as a new addition. Okay, I got 19. I got a six. I got a stinky mildew covered 20.

Okay, at initiative 20, that is Zirk. Zirk, I will say that, yeah, she used her surprise around to shoot Bookfar instead of letting you go. So she is temporarily distracted during all this talk. You are able to grab your hands around her wrists, essentially tethering yourself to her. So she will need to like, it will need to get to her initiative and she will need to like shove you right now,

you are on here, you can pull out your gun, you can do whatever you'd like, it will need to get to her initiative and she will need to like shove you right now, you are on here, you can pull out your gun, you can do whatever you'd like, you're first. Okay, I am going to try and get back on solid ground. I'll try and like just use footwork or grappling if I need to. Go ahead and do a, and oppose that Lettics check because right now your grappled, so your speed is zero,

you can still attack. I'll say, you can use like your movement to try to wrestle to get back onto the platform. Ooh, he, she did really well. Ha, ha. Zirk did pretty okay, I got a 20, she got a 22. All right, no sorry, I got a 19, fuck. Okay, so she, you guys start to struggle,

she keeps you hanging over the edge, but during the struggle you're able to get your pistol out and take a shot. I pull out like a stone in my my pocket and I'm like, I'm gonna call my mom, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna call my mom. You probably don't even have her new number. What? She got a new phone plan? If you haven't been talking to her in the past couple of years, she's had a few numbers. She said she'd always keep me on the family plan.

Fuck you! I shoot her. 16 to hit? 16 hits. Alrighty. She said she'd always keep me on the family plan. Fuck you. I shoot her 16 to hit 16 hits all righty. Yeah, you guys see two wrestling with each other just Explosion as this pistol goes off. Oh, wow a gun show fun Just the worst the worst gun show about I've just two people wrestling to each other at the point of like range. Watch this, this is how Cowboys fight. He's like watching a roulette.

You'll never gun wrestled before. Okay, that's gonna be a 13. Oh, 13 damage. Yeah, blast right into her and for my bonus action, can I summon Spritele and give them a piece of dynamite to hold on to? Right on. Yeah, I'll say you can do an object interaction you hand a piece of dynamite to Sprite all Sprite all goes now is it time now is it time papa? Sprite all the time is come light light body weight light the wig light the wig make the fire go and then yeah

I just shout to everyone oh Make way oh there the way dynamite works is it does a five foot radius, so you would be damaging yourself as well, Zirk. Mm. Yeah, because I used up on my movement. Because you are grappled with her right now. Okay, can I tell, can I just tell Spritele to like hold onto it and then like,

you know what, here's what I do. I give Spritele a lighter and a stick of Dynamite. I will wait for an opportunity to do cool lighter tricks in the meantime, papa. Absolutely. Bia, that is your turn. Okay, so God will remember the text that we have, the horn of the deep.

So I'm going to hand it off to Henry. And then I guess I will try to, how can I get Zerke out of her grip? If you beat her in an athletics contest, I'll say you can essentially wrestle Zerk away from her. And this is an action to do? This would be an action, yeah. Okay, I think there is no option

but to take this chance. Sweet, Fiya, you go up, you grab Zerk's collar on the one side, she's got it on the other side. They're wrestling back and forth. Kugo Zerk, go ahead, Tugo Zerk, go ahead got it on the other side. They're wrestling back and forth. How does that work? Okay. Go ahead, Tugaserk, go ahead and make an athletics check. Oh, you're not even gonna believe me. She quit.

You did not just rock a crit. I wanna see it though. Yeah. There it is. Congratulations, you fucked. He just was too perfect. That was like no one's going to believe this. No, I'm going to the room.

Go in the room and give her a kiss. All right, I rolled the six anyway so even if you didn't create you probably would have still a wrestler but yeah Jesus Christ with a 27 to athletics from this school yeah collarbone is fully dislocated yeah you're sneaky athletic the horn was also a tight spiral when you passed that over here. Yeah, you tight, Josh Allen spiral over to Henry.

It's crazy how athletic I've gotten from just reading books. And yeah, you see books are heavy. You see book far deanimated on the bridge smoking with a musket ball in him, and are temporarily enraged, and you're able to like get under her grip, grab Zirk, pull him back, and you wrestle him right away from her.

She is not able to hang onto him. Zirk is safe, Zirk is no longer dangling over the edge. Thank you. No problem. Also, I'm sorry that my mom is inadvertently trying to kill us. Honestly, everything about your mom seems pretty awesome. I want to just get on the same page without her kind of whore, so that's really great. I think I kind of know her.

If anything, I'm kind of more of a child to her than this guy. Are you trying to get us an introduction to my mom? Fuck off. Do you want me to... I can introduce you to Stella Vervein. You probably don't even know where she is. My gangly limbs just wrenched a boy from them. Or a mad, I'm sorry.

He is older than me. I don't know why I call him a boy. It's almost like habit from a previous life where I was his mother figure. Oh, here. Time devil, is this your word? That is a quick last cast, Caliway's turn. You see she grabs from under her cloak a rifle

that she wields with two hands, with her two prime hands. And she's gonna take a rifle shot at Fia. Okay. That's a 26 to hit, that's, oh, gonna hit. My mom's come a long way from Fizzy Cocaine. I'm not even going to shield because that won't even do anything. Uh, 16 damage to you, Fia.

Ooh. I look to Henry. I smile like it didn't hurt. And then I look to Henry and Zerk with so much weakness in my unblinking eyes and go unconscious. Oh my god, you're out of roll. Yes, I had age 8 hit points, which is why I tried so hard to get out of this. Oh my god, athletic potential. You see Fia drops, you see the smoke coming off the rifle, you see she spins the two pistols and she goes two more bullets, two more standin'.

She's gonna take one shot at Zerk. That's a fucking 27 to hit, That's a natural 19. That's gonna hit your boy. 10 damage to Zerk. Okay, Zerk is still standing but just barely. Zerk stays standing. Takes a second shot, goes, damn, I wanted this to be cool, but I'll take what I can get. Takes the second shot at Zerk or the last shot rather. God, I'm rolling good. I need different dice to have mercy on you guys. No it's good it's good I'm okay I would rather lose this blade unconscious or dead then give it over willingly. That's nine damage to you on that one Zirk. Yeah you

see that this musket ball embeds itself in Zerk's shoulder that was previously wrenched free by Pia. And he also collapses to the ground. Okay. Zerk drops. Henry, that is your turn. You see she's got three smoking guns and you see unlike ranch and the rex's. You see she's like very quickly reloading everything looks to have some kind of like magical ability or expertise She looks about ready to shoot. That's your turn Henry. Of course. Okay. Well, you know

My good friend Was gonna defend this blade with their life and I'm gonna do the same fucking thing I'm gonna attack with my claws. Sweet. Take both of my attacks. Damn. Alright, that's a 16 and a 17 to hit. Both hit?

Okay. 15 damage total. Okay. And then I'm going to use my action surge. Okay. And I'm going to say, hey, Shank,ank did you did you eat some of those beans? Feel it sounds like you're tooting are you doing? What are you accusing me of your man?

And I'm gonna blow into the horn really like yes You're feeling gasp but somewhere canley is just don't fucking raise me with angel artifacts man You Lo this horn and she looks confused as fuck you see she's taking like a moment to reload and not nearly as long as those other guys But she looks like concentrated you see the two mechanical arms are going Loading muskip balls in with like our fucking thumbs And then you see with her hands she's like really quickly like lightning reloading this rifle getting

ready. You take a swing at her with your claws then grab this silver horn and blow it and Henry you see like chameleons on the cliff, four of these short, stocky humanoids suddenly appear. Gray skin like stone with yellow cat eyes that glow in the darkness. They have pointy ears and some have tusks that protrude from their lips. She doesn't even know what the fuck's going on. She's just got her guns pointed at you and goes, the fuck you doing making art jokes. Do what your friends did. Is that what you're gonna do?

You're gonna rag on your shadow? Yeah, she's got a fucking point here, man. I feel like there's a small audience in this cavern that might appreciate the fart jokes. And maybe they will show themselves. And then you see four of these deep folk appear and kind of silently land on the bridge behind her at the top of the order. That is back up to Zirk.

Zirk, go ahead and give me a death saving throw. Gladly. Oh, good. Wow. A nine. Nine. That is a failure. Um, Sprydell still has the Dynamite, and they act after my turn.

But since I'm down there, I'm free to act of their own volition. Okay. So they can do whatever they think is best. Right on. If you would like for Sprydell to throw this fucking Dynamite, they could definitely do that on your turn. Are we still in range? I think we would probably take an extra death save, wouldn't we?

I would say you could throw it like a little bit behind her so the she was on the edge of the five feet. Awesome. Yeah, Spritele does that. I will avenge you, Papa! Spritele throws the dynamite. She is going to go ahead and do a deck saving throw. I'm a good dad! That is a fail. Go ahead and roll me 3D 6s. Nice. Just seven. Seven damage. Sweet.

Viltra, I can't get anything we can get. That's the nice one. Yeah, she's no like God or anything. She's just like a tough bounty hunter. She looks hurt. She doesn't look, you know, on Deaths Door, but she's like very hurt. Okay.

That is Fiya's turn. Fiya, go ahead and give me a Death Saving Throw. You see this explosion from behind her, blows her forward a little bit. Shout out to the two crew. Nice. That's a fail for Fiya. On initiative 17, one of these deep folk

pulls out this short sword that looks like a giant serrated knife and just silently sneaks up and is going to make an attack with the damage, it looks fucking brutal. There's a fucking crude humor fans, okay. Super hits. They're working blue. I'm so fucking stressed, this is not good.

That is 16 damage. You see, just like pops up behind her and just like stabs her deeply in the thighs. She goes like, Oh, what the fuck where the fuck did you come from? Do their tusks look a little bit like Fiya? I they do. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Are they smiling? Does it seem like they enjoyed the fart joke? No, they are absolutely here for business. Okay, that's disappointing, but I understand. I'll try my set elsewhere. They're honoring some ancient pact sealed in a fucking relic. She is now looking quite hurt.

She's still got her guns pointed at you, Henry. She's still got a rifle pointed at you, but she's kind of looking over her shoulder and she sees these three other deep folk kind of appearing through the shadows and starting to surround her. They all pull out these long knives and begin to walk kind of threateningly towards her and you see she goes, all right, tell him to back the fuck off and I'll back off. Yeah, you know, I can give it a shot But you can see these these guys clearly have no sense of humor

I don't know if they're gonna listen to me. I'll shoot you off of this fucking bridge And that'll be the last thing both of us see before I die is you falling up this fucking bridge I can see if shank has another two to them, but I'm gonna I'm gonna need you to I don't know drop those She takes three shots at you. No fuck wait I don't know, drop those. She takes three shots at you. No, fuck, wait. She's hit the hit on the first one. That miss, wait, let me see.

No, that hits. We need to get better armor. Yeah, 16 just sounds like it should miss. 10 damage on the rifle shot. Okay. She takes two pistol shots. 12 to hit, misses on the first one. There we go, there we go.

One leg that she got stabbed in, she kind of like leans in. Another fucking that for. You see, she's fully frazzled, shoots again, Mrs. that is one more of the deep folks turn. You see another one, like hops up on grabs her and stabs her in the shoulder brutally. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good bud. That one is actually a miss though. So it does not stab her in the shoulder brutally, attempts to stab her in the shoulder brutally. It's directly in the mechanical arm. Yeah, you see she's able to get her hand up and kind of start wrestling this one away. Another one is going to come out and take a swing.

That one also misses. But there's still one more that will go after you, but Henry, that is your turn. OK, look, I can try to call him off. I just want you to give me some healing potions for my friends, and I want you to tell me what Stella's big plan is. Oh, fuck you, dude, whatever you want,

these dudes are gonna fucking kill me. We shall do it. The dead is repaid. You know what, the dead is fully repaid, I think. Yeah, but please stick around just for a second. My friends would absolutely love to meet you. I feel like this is all, it's wasted on me a little bit. You see, they throw their hands up and one goes, it appears to be the leader has like a

septum piercing and like a badass white beard and goes Right then do justice your way Wow, I'm gonna I'm gonna do my best to be more fucking epic in my speech from now on Yeah, you're making fort jokes and stuff. We heard yeah, that wasn't when you called us. I'm sorry shank I'm sorry. That was immature. That was low shank. Yeah, I was the I'm the only guy here. Stay and stand it with you We got our friends here choking on their blood. They're about to die. I take you back Stand on the other side of the bridge wielding their weapon kind of making sure she doesn't run away quick blast Has some pretty bad wounds has some claw wounds has some pretty bad wounds, has some claw wounds, has some

sword wounds, has some musket ball wounds, just got stabbed in the leg. You should see she pulls herself over to Zirk and Fiya. You see she feeds a health potion to Fiya and then feed Fiya to Zirk, how you doing kids? You all right? I'm not bad at all. But my eyes are on these women. Fia does not communicate this out loud, but perhaps her travelers who know some of her whims and moods know that there is murder in her eyes.

Oh yeah, I can taste the bad blood. You see, as she holds her hands up and she goes, farts over all right, you won, you won. Yeah, that's right. And if anybody asks, nobody fell and you just surrendered instantly. Right, yeah, seven, seven on one. Congratulations, everybody. Okay, here's the deal. I'm just going to, as I say, this blood is spitting up out of my mouth. Here's the deal. I'm just going to as I say this blood is spitting up out of my mouth. Here's the deal I'm just going to keep fighting you unless you make a promise in the witnessing of this fairy that you will never go after Batilda ever again. But that the thing about that is though is that it's just so much gold. I bring the horn to my lips. All right, all right. I promise I will not go after Fatilda specifically.

I maybe we should make us say inadvertently either, or peripherally, tangentially. I will give you, yeah, say, it's really simple. You're adding words to save your ass and I'm going to shave them away. Just say, I will never go after Batilda. Am I? Yeah, I might sneeze into the horn and that would count as blood. All right, all right. I will not. I will not go after Batilda.

Okay, Spritell, can you please make this pact? Do it's proud. You see Spritell whizzes around Fia and quick blast and you see little like strings of green magic. You see she holds her hand out. There's some like fairy magic in it, some green pixie dust. I will add to this also one more and I am willing to just keep fighting. You will not tell Zerks mother that you saw him. No, Fiya. You want her to know?

It is your choice. It's okay. Thanks for trying to protect me. You're always really good at that. But she needs to know it's been long enough. Zerke takes the little glowing vial that he was using as a torch. And on the glass, he etches, I'm alive.

We need to talk. Zee. And tosses it over to Cass. You see, with one of her mechanic alarms, pops out from under her cloak, catches it, puts it in her pack. She goes, consider the message delivered.

What is Stella want with Batilda? Stella doesn't give two shits about whoever the fuck Batilda is. She cares about money. These people are offering 75,000 gold for some of these blades. Who are these people? Whoever the hell is in contact with the bedfellows, this moxora lady. Let's commit that name to memory. This you guys you guys realize that she's got the same motivations as Petty Jack has. She does not, like, quick casts does not seem like she's, you know, super reaper focused or something, nor does Zerke's mom's motivations. This seems pretty cut and dry. It's like they got a bunch of people who only cared about money to do their dirty work and quick casts appears to be doing this for the bounty.

Have you met this Maxora if we were to say in least ourselves as bounty hunters, could we get a meeting with this Maxora? I mean, look, I'm not the type that you bring to sit down meeting and Stella is Trying to go legit so I don't know that she herself is necessarily going to be seen at these meetings anyway But you probably want to talk to somebody higher up like her seeing as I'm the type of person who goes Into places and nearly gets murdered, I'm not too high up on the food chain, is it worth?

Yeah, so from what I see right now, you're just a messenger. Are we gonna shake on this? Or what? I'm really mad at you, because you came after Patilda, so and you killed my witches familiar, and we are not so cool about that.

I think we're gonna, I'm letting you know, I'm not gonna kill you, I don't think Zerg's gonna do it. I'm not gonna blow the horn. These noble people are not so cool about that. I think we're gonna, I'm letting you know, I'm not gonna kill you. I don't think Zerke's gonna do it. I'm not gonna blow the horn. These noble people are not gonna do anything, but I can make no promises for Fiya at a later date. And I think that's as good as you're gonna yet. I smile making no comment, they're showing much task.

All right, well, if you don't wanna shake hands on it, then we don't make, kind of, make any deal about Patilda, and I'll just be on my way. Fiya, don't get your hands dirty. I'll take this one. Zerkel stride forward and shake her hand. And as he's doing it, he takes her hat and puts it on his head.

I gave you something to give to my mom, and I'll keep something so she knows we had a meeting. Yeehaw. All right, she gave me that hat. She's gonna be pissed that I lost it. Well, I think she'll like where it ended up. Well, I don't know that she even really knows you that much anymore, so who the fuck knows, right?

Are you guys like besties? What's going on? Are you trying to get in good with her? I get so pleased. It seems like you need to try to get in good with her. I am in good with her. You are whatever you are Maybe you should be called petty casts and then

Eddie Jack, alright. I am quick blast cast can't wait alright. I'm starting quick blast to Jack Look quick blast Jack. He was fast. He was fast now that I remember quit trying to date my mom all right I'm trying to date your mom all right look I'm going out of here empty handed. Hey, guys. Thank you all so much for everything. Empty handed, you didn't take that gem from the other room?

You're right. The gem, I just took the gem. Wow, you wanted to, if I like this, pet this on you, handry, I was gonna let her get away with it. You see, she reaches into the bag and pulls out the gem and hands it to you. Oh, I was gonna let her get away with it. You see, she reaches into the bag and pulls out the gem and hands it to you. Oh, I'm not interested. Do you guys want it?

Well, we'll put it back on the pedestal, I think. Yes. I mean, I think it's probably about time for another showing of our favorite play. So we'll see how it goes with the actual sapphire at this time. Right, all right. We'll, you take the sapphire, other than that,

I'm going out of here empty handed, so I'm just gonna turn around and head out nice to meet you. I tip my hat to you But I don't have a fucking hat anymore Every bit there. That's right. You don't keep your hands off my mom. I'm gonna kill you the next time I see you I'd like to see you try She gives you a little nod. She starts walking off as As she starts to go, one of the deep folk, the like leader, leans forward and kind of grabs her cloak without turning around, just like as she starts to pass him and goes, empty the bag, the rest of the things you took from the temple. And she goes very perceptive. Y'all just come

out from the mountain and apparently you see everything you see she takes the bag She turns it over you just see like a ton of gold. Oh my gosh is offerings and everything and she goes and now Can I finally fucking go? Is there anything in a pockets? I just hate that I? I don't know I got some beans, but I need if you're fucking gave away the West rest of my beans. I just hate that I, I don't want to be with that. I got some beans, but I need, if you're fucking gave away the rest of my beans, I need something for fucking dinner.

She does have no beans outside. She has no beans outside. You may keep the beans. You may keep the beans. People say you can keep the beans. You see, she leaves and the deep folk walk over to you guys

and the one in charge. She's been talking, he's got this like white beard on the septum piercing. My name is Lusgrar and I Henry Hogfish. Henry Hogfish. And I, via Bohemia. And I, Sirc for Vane. Sirc tries to tip his hat and it falls off.

Shit. Hank pops his chest. There's really no need. We're all on the same side here. You're friends of Kenley. Indeed. We're all on the same side here. You're friends of Kenley indeed. Yes, we are. We were sent here to retrieve one of his good friends who was lost. Maybe you have seen her? I wish she came in here and she was apparently trapped in some sort of flood. There's a flood deeper in the temple. You see he gestures

across the bridge where you see another statue of this winter fairy, Owen, and he goes beyond there, it is flooded. We have known many of the blades. There were some of us who were present when we were attacked by elementals and constructs when the great betrayal happened. Van Voss there. That was when the rest of the blades were killed eight years ago. Eight years ago.

Many of us were able to survive because Kenley helped us escape. We owed him a debt and that debt has been paid. The debt has been paid. Now we owe you a separate debt. If you want, I could try and fashion like a trombone or some sort of kazoo that you could blow if you need a Darham. They're not they're not into that kind of shit. They also think I have to warn you that it's going to have a limited range We kind of have to be near you in order to be summoned because I don't have magical hearing like you

But if we hear it if we hear you blowing the trumpet will come are you SpongeBob squarePants? Who the fuck are you? Try, do something, Hank's slices his hand. Blood, whoa. Blood for my brother. Blood with the axe. Oh, I love a blood bag.

See, gives you a predator handshake. No, that's, I could get on fucking board with. I could call my bangs really, really, really perfect. Fine, we'll do the blood pact. You see, they go, you think there is a chance that someone else has survived here. I think so. I think the lady Betilda, I think,

is trapped in their somewhere. I'm so weak, I'm so scared to go. I mean, I don't even know what kind of situation she's in. We've wasted enough time already. We have to get to her. Yes. If you need time to rest, we can take watch for the night, make sure nothing ill befalls you.

I just worry if there's a flood, if the water is rising or something like this, I'm worried. There has been a flood there for water is rising or something like this I'm there for many many years if she survived this long she will survive yeah our best our best shop for Batilda is going in there full strength I know it's hard for you I don't know if I can sleep knowing I'm so close to helping her or so close to finding something I don't want to find. Well, we'll stay up with you and then, you know,

we'll at least rest our bodies if not our minds. Okay. I will defer to the wisdom of the group. Let's have some hot dogs, huh? Yeah. You guys make a little campfire in the middle of the bridge. I keep the hat dogs away from the fire because I like them frozen. Like a popsicle.

It's a little scary. Terrific. It just like sits in the corner, sucking on a frozen hat dog. You feel like it's gross, but then you see the athleticism. The raw power and potential. Oh, also bookfars, dead bookfars. Yes, I do. I do have to go. I go over to the little tattered book far book.

I cast Mending on him and slowly solemnly resum in bookfarr. Sweet. So you're ritual cast. Eritual cast, some unfamiliar're rich or cast. A polygetically. You're rich or cast. Some are familiar. Or find familiar. You see, after you mend the book, the muskipal falls out. It stops smoking.

And you see slowly, bookfars, eyes open on the cover. And he goes, miss. I'm so sorry. Miss, I tried. Bookfarno, you did splendidly. You've had such a big day and you've done so many beautiful, wonderful things.

It was a really big day, miss. It was a really big day and now it is time to rest. I am sorry that I put you in harm's way, but you always rise to the occasion. Thank you, miss. I will put on my dust jacket for now. Yes, let's get you in your thickest warmest, furiest dust jacket. You cut off the book far. Can I give him an electric dust jacket, like an electric blanket? Yeah, you get a real warm book cover. Book far the brave.

Yes, as he's falling asleep in his little electric dust jacket, I tell him a little story of book far the brave. Oh, thank you. Um, you see, as Fiya is a nursing bookfarer back to health, you guys have this fire, you're having your meal for the night. You see, Lo Skrar speaks up, looks out to you guys as Erken Henry and goes, you think there's a chance that Batilda is still alive. From the way that Fiya talks about her, she can do miraculous things, so I think there's better than a chance. I think it's almost certain.

Batilda was a friend, and if you are friends of Batilda, then we will help you any way we can. The temple is flooded beyond this door, but there are ways to drain the water. A lot of the traps and tricks that would normally open the doors aren't functioning and so these doors are stopping the water from flowing. If you could somehow destroy them, you could essentially release a valve and drain the floor. That would allow you to explore deeper. Unless you've got amazing lung capacity, I don't I don't know you personally. Henry Puffs is chest again. Wow. We have a couple of sticks of

dynamite which I hate to destroy this beautiful temple but if that's the only way then I think that that might be our best shot. The temple is already destroyed. This is a matter of survival for you and potentially for Batilda. Yeah. That's what we're learning these days is you gotta do what you can to survive. Very well. Pretty epic, right? Who is this guy?

It was good. You just don't have to say afterwards, pretty epic, right? You just sit and then you act like you didn't even say anything, you know? That's okay. It's the vibe. He is in the corner singing an airy lullaby. A whispering airy lullaby.

She's singing to her book. That's fine. That's cartoony, but that's in the way that a weird ass old cartoon is. You know what I mean? You'd see skeleton dancing to this or something. Yeah, okay. That we can sort of get on board with, you know what I'm saying? I gotcha.

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Just write down some bullet points for me and I'll do my best, okay. We can sort of get on board with you know what I'm saying. I got you sure sure sure Yeah, just write down some bullet points for me and I'll do my best sir. I'm not going to do that. I will leave the rest of you to it We will help you throughout the night and we'll be gone in the morning. Thank you. Thank you. While we're chilling By the fire. I imagine Fiya and bookfar every joined us. I kind of look to them and I say I Feel like I can ask you all this now. What do I do? Do I? Do I forgive her? Is what she's done wrong? It seems like she's trying to like Find her way back to some sort of redemption, but What's it gonna come to?

Mr. Zerk one thing I've always noticed is that forgiveness is not for them, it's for you. It's for the peace of your soul, not theirs. Gosh, you're like... You're like an entire library in there, Fia, that's... That one is actually not from a book, it's from personal experience. Oh, wow, gosh, even better. Uh, thank you. So it's a decision for you to make what is right for you. I hope I'll know when we get there. You know, for what it's worth, there's a million things that I wish I could tell my kid and

your mom might have the same, the same wish. So I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I think you should talk to her. She seems like she's fine without me. Maybe it's for the best. You never know. I think that, I think I have to believe that parents can make mistakes, and that they can wish they hadn't. Sometimes it feels like the only thing we can make is mistakes. Yes, so I think it is okay to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks. You see, Bookvar pipes up quietly. I will just say though that her friends did shoot me with a gun. Yes, no, I'm going to kill that woman. Yes, yes. I'm like feeling, I think I channeled all of my anxiety about Batilda into being angry at her. No, she was. It's lingers. I want to kill her. We hated it.

That was bad. That was unequivocally condemned by the third mate. I really was ready to just let her go away, but she really had to press it. Yeah, and see, that's why I'm conflicted, because she's straight up on my mom's payroll, and my mom seems fine with it. So, I don't know, it's gonna be a long weird talk,

but I shouldn't monopolize the evening fear. We gotta get ready. We gotta say Patilda. Oh, yes, this is fine. Yes, of course, of course. I heard you all say that you think that Patilda can do anything, and so she's alive, Yes, of course, of course. I heard you all say that you think that but Tilda can do anything and so she's alive and it made me feel very happy.

Anything we can do to lift that haunted veil of childhood horror from you will do our best. I have a haunted veil. I mean not like literally, but just sometimes it seems like just that your past really affected you and we want you to know that things can be better. Mr. Henry, you agree? I have a haunted veil. I thought we were talking literally. I feel like I've seen you wear a haunted veil like walking the prowl of the ship. Yes, that's what I'm confused. I'm pawing at my hair looking for the veil. We do a little funeral for ourselves when we go to sleep because we're projecting that the veil is haunted. Yes, because sleep

is the end of the day and the end is death. But that's not scary because it is the pre-cutter sense of the beginning. We will wake up zombies in the morning. Dead now, zombies in the morning. Dead now, zombies in the morning. Zombies in the morning. Yes, and we say it backwards and then we go to sleep. Henry laughs in a really shaky, scared way.

Ha, ha, ha. Yep, I do see you are wearing a very thin translucent spider web veil now. I guess I'll make one for me in Henry too. Yes, feel free. It's good for mosquitoes. Okay. We wrap ourselves in translucent veils and I guess it goes to bed. Oh, hey, Zirk, before you go to bed, can you, uh, you guys test my, test my essence. Sweet. Oh, yes. Do you guys want to do

a deeper research or do you want to confirm the spring theory? I would like to confirm the spring theory. Yeah, we should confirm it. Great. Go ahead and give me an arcana check, sir. You put some of this pixie dust into this file with some of Henry's shadow essence. It's been an honor with drawing your essence. Nat 20. Whoa! Baby! Cute. He's really trying to make it happen, isn't he? Cirque throws his cowboy hat into the air and it just falls into the water.

Oh, look at it! this is Galboy Hatten to the air, and it just falls into the water. Oh, look at it! With a nat 20, you ask if the fairy that has to do with Henry's promise is a spring fairy. And you get back red, which means yes. Yes! There we go.

And with a nat 20, you see Lusgrar with like cat eyes, looking at you with dark vision from across the cave. Goes, are you doing a ritual with pixie dust? Oh yeah, I'm sorry, did you want to be involved in this? It's not very epic. You want a bump? You see, he goes forward and he goes, I don't need a bump right now, thank you. Okay, I hope you don't mind if I do. Oh, yeah.

What is the nature of the ritual? We're trying to determine what is cursed our friend. Hey, that's me, cursed. Yep, or sorry, I mean, I, I, for I am the one who has been... Epic way of speaking. Oh, really? has been epic with epic with speaking You see he asks you what like the nature of your curses do you guys want to like fail them in or Or do you want to pull some punches? I look to Henry whatever he feels comfortable with this I spoke to I spoke to him earlier. He's gonna help us find the till that I think

You know he's on the level. I'm gonna tell him sweet. I'm gonna tell him what's up. You tell him what's up. Give him the info that you guys kind of already have. And he goes, The deep vogue sometimes speak to some of the greater fairies of the great growth through rituals. Based on the nature of your curse, I would ask you, is there anywhere you feel drawn to? Is there anything that you can do to make a living? I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. rituals. Based on the nature of your curse, I would ask you, is there anywhere you feel drawn to? Is there anything that pops up in every life that you live? The sea. Spring fairy of the sea. That narrow is a down quite a bit, doesn't it? I guess it does. Lusgar looks over your book with Euphia and is able to narrow it down to like eight different spring fairies. There's like a fairy of storms, one of like the deep. There's one that's for like creatures of the sea,

one for like teeny creatures of the sea one for like teeny creatures of the sea one for the strength of the sea I hope it's not teeny creatures The fairy of little beauty who lives in a pineapple under the sea It's worth it. You knew whose SpongeBob was last car Is it great? He's a great enemy to the fairies of the great Always pulling high jinks in the sea. Carcid and Paurus and yellow is he. Yeah.

There's also a patron fairy of navigators and storytellers. And then there's fairies of sea battle and fairies of ships. And you guys can kind of continue your research another night. But Lusgrar helps you guys narrow it down. Thank you, Mr. Henry. If you need to go to the ocean, I would love to come with you. Yeah, I would. I'd love to have both of you there by my side or, you know, all what is it?

Five of us, six of you guys. Nobody else I'd rather be on the sea with, but first we're gonna find Batilda. So let's hit the head. Back to our fails. Something good to dream about on a restless night. Fia goes to bed in dreams of the sea. And re-tries a frozen hotdog right before bed. So you guys all go to bed for the night. About four hours later, zirc, you kind of groggly wake up.

You see in the shadows. Start putting coffee grinds in spritle. You see Lusgrar in the shadows with glowing eyes. Good, good, good. I'm right. Sorry, we tend to sneak up on people. It's okay, it's pretty cool. One more warning before I go on my way.

Of course. You see, he gestures to the book that you guys were looking at, the one about the greater fairies, and he goes, the great fairies are all to be respected, but some are to be feared. They work for no singular cause. The trickster is their mother, but children can be different than their mothers.

Well said. He gives you like a little salute. May I ask you one question before you go? Are there? Good morning. Oh, hey, sorry. I was lying completely prostrate and then I sat up abruptly like a vampire from a coffin.

Undertaker style. Undertaker style, yes. I'm sorry. You tend to sneak up on people. I tend to, I tend to, I tend to startle people. We both have tasks. I just, there is a kinship here that I'm vibing off of. Right, yes. Anyways, I was wondering, are there any kind of creatures? We both have tasks. I just, there is a kinship here that I'm vibing off of.

Right, yes. Anyways, I was wondering, are there any kind of creatures, once we start to go down there that we should be aware of? Are there undead or fey or something like this? It is unlikely that there would be horrors in a temple of the trickster. But as I was telling your friend Zirk here, the greater fairies work for their own purpose. When we were spending more time at the temple, there was an autumn fairy named Siena that we would go to for her wisdom. But there were other fairies here, like Calista, the summer fairy. And you guys would know, Callista,

you can imagine that was probably- I saw a pretty scary picture of her. Yeah, we took her key, I hope that's okay. As long as you didn't use it, you should be fine. Okay. She looked over the temple more than she looked after its inhabitants. She does not like humanoids and would not hesitate to kill you if she saw fit for her own

purposes. You have as much to fear from the fairies as you do from any zombie or undead monster. Should you get on their bad side. And what precisely would really tick them off? That lady with all the guns was doing it super, super wrong. Yeah, I agree with that. She would piss off a number of otherwise peaceful and benevolent fairies, but there are some who just hate humans.

Thank you. Some like Kalista believed that the fairies should have never wasted time working with humans in the first place. Yes, thank you. Okay, thanks a lot. Hey, yeah, now I'm awake now too. Good morning. Good morning.

Oh, sorry, we had this conversation right over your sleeping body. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I was trying to set up But you're literally standing over my neck. Yeah, she did a thing where she sat up like the undertaker. It was awesome Everyone is so cool except for me. I got to figure this out She also laughs in her sleep, which I find very endearing Fused miles innocently Totally taking the compliment.

The fairy that we visited here was named Sienna. It was an autumn fairy. She was a fairy of wisdom. The fact that she did not come back after the attack made me believe it was a wise move not to be here. So tread carefully. I see. Gives you a little salute and disappears into the rocks.

Made the one you call square pants not harm you. You see, just glowing eyes. You have both been so inspired to upgrade your speech by this man. I always talk in this fashion. I don't know what you want me to say. I just, people with tusks impress me. Sweet. See you guys make up.

You guys see on the other side of this bridge, there's another statue of Owen that stands before another closed stone door. You see, holding his hands out looks similar to the one in the other room. Basically, if you guys want to proceed, you can put the sapphire in. Book for it. Do you want to do the honors? Should I? Book for the people. They want a reprise of what to do. I don't even need the real gem, Miss.

Encore. Encore, believe me. Encore, Encore. I am going to hold onto the real gem if you need it, but let's try it without Go ahead and give me a performance check with advantage, Fia But he still needs to roll really well. Doesn't he have a minus one to perform? Yes, he certainly does only has a minus two. Yeah, it's bridal shine some lights. Oh my god I swear to fucking guy Wow Wow I know you're rich Wow Wow

I showed it on the fucking webcam no doubt no doubt can be cast I don't have death saves But I don't like death saves On book� for Pretend to be sapphire when you don't need him to that's got to be something right it's something You see inspiration right we don't't do that but that's inspiration. Captain clutch. Absolutely Captain clutch. Jeater at the play.

Pop's open his picture book. You see the sapphire flips it upside down, lands perfectly indistinguishable from a regular sapphire. This sapphire is part of your routine now. This is in your repertoire. Greatest heat is coming. I think it's showing the running. There's a rumble in the walls as this great stone doorway lifts. And instantly, a bunch of water pours out. Not enough to knock you back. Luckily, this platform before the door kind of widens out.

You guys look beyond the door. You see, it looks like, you guys essentially, by opening this door, just like released a valve, like you see like everything around you, all of the stone is all soaking wet in here. It looks like it was probably completely filled up. It is now slowly starting to fill up again, but it will take a long time.

You see that it looks like one of the walls here that may be at one time was stopping this like waterfall from coming through from this like water source deeper in the mountain. Something has cracked in the stone and you see water from the waterfalls is spewing into the temple here and causing the lower parts of the temple to flood. How big is the gash? I will say, you know what, let's go ahead and roll 2d6s to see how many feet long the crack is.

7 foot crack. That's a big crack. We'll say it's about 3 feet wide. Like a big fissure in the side of the wall. Can I use mold earth because I can if you target an area of loose earth you can instantaneously excavate it move it along the ground deposit it up to five feet away this movement it's a five-foot cube yeah so can I use like mold earth twice to patch up this yeah if you're

gonna use to to mold earth spells yeah well it's a it's a can trip. Oh Rad, yeah, yeah, you stand in front of them. Those are it's gonna trade out their can trips and I can't I traded it out a couple days Nice. Great. Fiya, you stand in front of it. Hold your hands up and essentially mend this wall You are able to seal this treasure, and while this part of the temple is completely filled with water, this room is no longer continuing to fill. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult! Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

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To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Um, you guys see, um, via as you enter and are dealing with this fissure, you see that there's like a small dip and you're already up to your knees and water. Um, and you see, uh, the water's

pretty clear here. You see that there are steps leading down where you could theoretically swim to lower levels, but you can't really see from here how deep it's going to go. I have a spell that I took when we leveled up that I can turn myself, they use all theirself to get gills and swim underwater. If you want me to do recon. Oh, well, I think I could actually whip up some potions

based on that design as well, if we all wanted to go. Sure. Let's stick together. I can make alter self potions that I believe will give us gills, let me double check that. The drinker's body is transformed as if by the alter self spell, the drink determines the transformation caused by the spell, effects of which last for 10 minutes.

It's aquatic adaptation. Aquatic adaptation, yeah, great. Perfect. Thanks of which last for 10 minutes. It's aquatic adaptation aquatic adaptation. Yeah great perfect So yeah, I watch Fia give herself gills Yes, my big on blinking eyes become fish like and then I ask Fia to spit in a vile for me And then I whip that up with some magic and some pixie dust and then I Present it to Henry I Drink it and literally start to look like a hogfish,

which is an actual fish that has a big weird spike on the top of my head. It looks like one of those lanternfish, like one of those deep sea sulfur eating fish. Oh my god. It's not what a hogfish looks like. And Zirk gets a little octopus mustache. Oh, and can I turn book far into a little octopus so that he can go under water? Yes, I can ask for a spell with the waiting for.

Some of him has an octopus. Finally. I was just talking about how I've been waiting to do this. Book far, I know you like to be a book but But books don't like water miss so I'll be in octopus Don't like water. Okay, and you can make a bunch of ink to put in the book later. Oh fun. I'll have eight quills Yeah bookfar turns into the octopus Sweet so here is how I'm going to say this is gonna work.

Spell lasts for 10 minutes. Um, mine, I think lasts for an hour. It was your last longer? Yeah, mine lasts for an hour. Whoa, okay, mine only lasts for 10 minutes. So, okay, so Fias is an hour, but takes concentration and Zirk and Henry's last 10 minutes. 10 minutes, but no concentration.

Got it, okay. So you guys all traveling together. Let's treat this kind of like the mountain climbing and what order do you guys want to swim? Henry's face looks the most threatening as a hogfish. I do have a spike run. Yeah, a spike dorsal thing. I'm also gonna summon Shank and have Shank swim.

Ah! Oh, what the hell happened to you? Shit, yeah. All right, you know, you know, uh, yeah. Um, all right. You know, you know, it's only gonna last for 10 minutes. I don't even want to fucking know. We're going to find fucking SpongeBob, all right? Yeah, we're going into water.

Great. Once, once we're in the water, I'm gonna cast Continual Flame, which is an underwater fire I can use to light our way and also light some dynamite underwater for you to. A rad. Very cool. You see, yeah, you guys all submerge yourselves,

walk down and submerge yourselves, Zerk holds his hand out, and you see a white flame underwater that lights up the clear water under here. Fia with her gills, flapping, turns to Mr. Henry and says, well, let's find out how good those swimming lessons were, huh? Ha!

Ha! You know, I'm not concerned concerned because you're clearly a goddamn natural. Fiya, just studying on the bottom of the stairs. Yeah, I think you still need to blink. I don't think the spell took away your eyelids. I blink, but it's the sideways. Oh, never blink again. She does not need to blink. I'll say for the purposes of radio while you guys are underwater. I'll say part of the effects of this alter self-spell while I do you guys still like communicate telepathically while you're here. You didn't

want us to just blow bubbles. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. You guys just grab scenes. So you guys swim down the stairs here and see that on this first level there are statues lining each side of the hall Some of them are broken or covered in algae. There are huge rocks on the ground where different pillars have been broken off You see in this first hall There's a door on the left with some debris floating door on the left with some debris floating. It would take a little time for you to search it. You need to do an athletics check and it would take time, so it would count against your spell. Further down, you guys see another set of stairs that looks to be leading to the next level. Beyond that, you guys see one another one of these stone doors

that looks like it would go deeper into the mountain that looks like if you were able to destroy or open it that it might be able to drain some of this water. But in front of it, you see the statue of this like King Trident looking fairy, this like buff merman with huge wings. You see it has been crying. Do you recognize him

from because we looked at the sea fairies yesterday? Yes. You would recognize this. Which one is he? You would recognize this as Zail, who is a god of like sea storms essentially. Okay, not tiny, not team secretors. Not team secretors. I hope that's not the one I fucked over.

Yeah, no, you see one with like little mollusks next to him. What's their name? What's their name? Henry, did you kick a clam in your past life? I fucking hope so, because that one seems like I can make good on it. All right. Would it be weird if I became a ballad in of teensy-seek creatures? Moria is the one for teensy-seek creatures. You see, she looks angry.

She looks like she... At me? She looks angry she looks like me she looks angry yeah I'm a little seashell make a little seashell I don't use my mold earth to make a little seashell and put it at her foot sure yes before that let me finish describing the room see that this like very of storms looks to have been some kind of trap or some kind of a lock before the door, but is broken off and you see random shocks

of electricity going off of it in strange patterns that are like kind of hard to predict, but you would need to get past that if you wanted to get to the door, but you can also choose to just continue swimming down the stairs. You guys still have your gills. You guys have just gotten down here.

It's only been a few seconds. Henry, how do you proceed? I think I'm gonna go straight for the door that can hopefully drain the room. Okay. Henry, go ahead and give me, as you start to swim towards the door, you see this trident fairy, Zail, is letting off these patterns of electricity. Go ahead and give me an investigate, perception, or insight check to try to learn the pattern. Okay, and what's the small creature,

very his name? Moria. Moria, just so I have it, okay. Okay. All right, that is in 18. 18. Okay, go ahead and do anathletics check. It will be easier because you have pretty much

figured out the pattern. Okay, so as I'm doing this, I'm casting and I at Moria to see if she's giving me any like, you know, evil stairs. Oh, fuck, I rolled the floor. Oh, the evil eye. You are super distracted by all of the mollusks that are all over her. How does she command, how does one person command so many mullisks? I fucking stepped on a snail in my past life.

I know it. Henry, despite having a pretty good read on it, are just a little too slow trying to get through. You take 16 lightning damage as you are shocked and stunned and you get like a quick setback So it's gonna take Henry a moment Henry you essentially do not make it to this door You have to like back up a little bit. Fia that is your turn. How would you like to proceed? Looking like a head on fish now. Thinking I want to be near Henry Okay, so I'm going to go try to go to the same door he was going to. Great.

Fia, go ahead and give me perception, insight or investigation. 22. 22. Okay. Fia, go ahead and give me an athletics check. So you try to swim past it. 17. 17 passes with your insight. Fia, you see we're kind of Hank went wrong when you got shocked. You keep your eyes on the prize. Do not look at the mullus lady. I only think of her. You only think of her.

And you're able to swim at the correct time. You miss the random shocks. And you get up to this stone door. Does not look like there's any crack in it. Looks like it opens up through some kind of mechanical thing. It looks like the only way to open it would be to destroy it in some way. May I cast a spell on it? You may.

I literally learned this for this, so I'm going to cast Shatter on it. Nice. What is the language of Shatter? A sudden loud ringing noise, painfully intense, erupts from a point of your choice within range. Each creature within a 10-foot radius sphere centered on that point must make a constitution saving throw. A creature takes 3D8 thunder damage on a failed save

or half that much on a successful one. A creature made of inorganic materials, such as stone, has disadvantage on the saving throw. Great. So I will disadvantage on the saving throw. Great. So I will roll a con saving throw for the toughness of the stone. That is in that four. That is not going to do it. So go ahead and roll your damage, Fiya.

OK. 15. Because I did it at third level. You guys hear a piercing noise muffled under the water here and you see this light come out from Fias finger. You see a crack in the door and then finally it breaks through with all this water all around it. Water starts pouring through. You see that there is, it looks like beyond this door opens up deeper into the tunnel. You see this water flushes out and begins flowing down

So you guys just we're in like swimming position and very quickly flop to the floor Like fish Should we check out this other room? Yes Barricaded area, sweet. Yes. Yes. Yes. You guys make your way through this little barricaded area again. I leave another shell for moira Whatever I did. I'm sorry I will protect your teensy creatures give me your power. Yeah, I kiss three clams sweet

you guys Enter this small room enter this small room. It's completely wrecked. Everything is water-logged. There's like a pillar broken over. The door is off its hinges. You go in here and you guys can go ahead and do a roll on the magic item table. Go ahead and roll a D100 65 65 oh my god you guys get a bag of holding And we're back yes and we are back I was thinking we should have taken that one from cast But I don't know we had already insulted her enough. Yeah, so basically that it's so awesome how this worked out I have like these random rooms. I have like rant Yeah, so basically it's so awesome how this worked out. I have these random rooms, I have like,

I literally rolled to see A through E, what kind of magic table you guys get. And then this one, it's table B. Yeah, 65 is a bag of holding. You see that there was an acolyte who looks like they drowned here, was trying to collect things before they could escape. I was not able to make it but they have left this bag And you will see that it is used

Well in service of magic. You see just me or does it smell like buddha heavy in mayo You see this little acolyte has a gray mustache And you see this little acolyte has a gray mustache. Oh, you monster. That acolyte was fine. And cast the rays dead on the acolyte. The acolyte scampers off and lives happily ever after. You see, as you grab the bag of holding, he winks and goes, I'm off to another world now.

Ah. Ah. Turns to starlight and disappears. Well, thank you, Mustacheo stranger. Best of luck to you. But yeah, you guys get a fucking bag of holding. Oh yeah. Who wants to hold the bag?

Oh God. I can hold it with a mage hand. He just holds it like a stereotypical dude holding a purse. Wait, don't make me do it. Don't just, I mean like if you're gonna hold it, just own it. Sweet. Would you guys like to proceed? You see the lower parts of the temple are obviously still waterlogged.

Yes. All right, do it. Sweet, you guys swim down the stairs and get to this next hallway. This one is more narrow and claustrophobic. Right now, you can't see beyond a swirling well-m of water that you'll need to navigate to get deeper. You see it whips around debris, like a tornado in a bottle. And this is kind of just like natural occurrence

meets like a magical occurrence. Like this is kind of like a haunted thing. Like somebody drowned here. Like a magical cutter and is what's making this exactly the water hmm this I had third-level spells and I could do spell Henry how would you like to proceed all right so I guess I'll I'm gonna I'm gonna just move shank in there Get it me just test the water just the right Science go ahead and do a strength saving throw for shank. All right. We need to see if we'll die Yeah, just a powerful

Oh shout out to the two Shank goes all right, all right. Oh go See shank is torn apart as Shank goes, all right, all right, I think I see where Shank went wrong. I'm gonna just I'm gonna dive in and try to just match. You know, I think Shank did the breaststroke and I'm gonna go freestyle. Great, Henry, I gotta be it. Go ahead and give me a strength save as you go through it. Oh, fucking hell. I also rolled a tube. Oh my God, who's this?

Henry, you are caught up in this wellm and essentially grappled by this water as you are caught in it. The current is too strong for you to get back and to surface, but it is also too strong for you to get out of it right now. Feels like I should stop going first. Yo, you got to get under the well. You got to get underwhelmed. You get eight damage from just getting hit by this debris by getting thrown around. Fia, that's your turn.

Okay, I don't want to use any more spells, so I'm just going to try to Strength saving or athletics. Strength save 17 17 does it. I'm fia. You are able to make it through the well and You just bad Henry's leg. Yeah, you just see Henry's legs just like not out of the house around him not flies out as he's No fucking dignity not out of it. Not out of it. Not flies out as each wrestler. Come on. It's a big, it's a big thing. It's not a fucking dignity. We got him in those.

Yeah, Henry's caught up in this, but Fiya, you get to the other side of this well and you see, beyond it, you see there's a room to the right that's blocked by like a lot of debris. Looks like there might be some areas to explore in there, but we'll take you some time to get in there. Pass that. You see another stone door on the left.

This looks like one that could lead deeper into the mountain and potentially work as like a valve. And pass that. You see that there's another set of stairs that you could just swim down if you'd like. So I'll just use the rest of my movement to go explore down these stairs. So Fiya goes forward and just begins swimming down the stairs, Zerk, that's your turn. So is Henry just still getting balls around

and then gets the well-bombed? Thigh out in the well, fuck! Zerk sees how Fiya navigated the well and is overwhelmed at trying to copy her. And he's just gonna dive in and do his best. Copy her, not me, not me, not me. It's not a good strength saving ground. She's got it. There is a view down there just to warn you.

Shadow, shank, still big ripped apart. Get killed me, just fucking kill me. Zirk jumps in and says, Henry catch me! Wait, no. Okay, uh, this is 17. and he says, Henry catch me! Right, no. Okay, this is 17. 17 passes, Zerke successfully gets through the well, but he's everywhere just spinning in circles. Zerke riggles his body like an eel.

That seems to be the tactic. Zerke, you get to the other side, is there an action or anything that you would like to use? Shoot, can I try and like just assist Henry out? Yeah, you can try to grab him. It's a strength check would like to use? Um, shoot. Can I try and, like, just assist Henry out? Yeah, you can try to grab him. It's a strength check. Not a safe. Okay, just a check.

Is it two and five? Oh, God. He was stuck in the well again. Yeah. You're not stuck in the well, but he still is. You're just like reaching your hand in, but a little too hesitant. Ah, well, Henry's just stuck in this thing. Henry, I just see a lot of mollusks spinning around in there

There's a lot of mollusks in there. Yeah, it's all mollusks and nuts So I understand why you not wanting to reach in Henry that's your turn go ahead and give me another strength saving throw Come on dude. You fucking you're made for the sea. You talk to big game. Let's go That eh, whoa, let's see with mathematics. It's a 13 13 is not gonna do it. You get back around again. You take 14 damage from the debris. Good Lord. Fia, you have started to go down the stairs here. You notice on this third level down here, Fia, you begin to feel the water begin to warm up and it starts to get hotter. The further you swim

into this hall, are you going to continue swimming down? No, I'm going to go back and try to help Mr. Henry. Sweet, you swim back up, go ahead and make a strength check to rebel. One of the rules of swim classes, you don't swim too much further than your instructor. So I am going to try to help him. This is if you learn to swim in a river, not a pool. Can I use bookmark to give me the help action? Sure, bookmark. I'm not to put it now. Yeah he tries to roll out his little tentacles around Henry. Yeah it's impossible we should just leave him. Oh, we're doing it easily. Athlet athletics or just flat strength. Flat strength check. Seven and a 16, so dirty 20. You're able to, yeah, Fiya gets one hand around your wrist, almost pulls your arm out as

she tries to pull you in. Stop doing that to people. The raw strength. It's all or nothing with me. I have to push bookvars, pulls you in as well, and you are beyond this well. You are wellmed. Yep, that's what you got to do. Just keep your head down and keep on pedaling.

Thank you, instructor. If you're not without your tour village, I would never be able to save you. This is why people teach, I understand now. The student has become the teacher. Oh, also be careful, the water down there gets warm. And this is going to sound really suspicious. I swear, it's not me. It is a tacit on its own, okay? It's a really weird thing to report,

but it has nothing to do with me. Okay, I trust you. Ozark tasted a little bit. What is one back here too? Swim forward. You suddenly see glowing eyes in the stone, and here a gurgling voice go, regos you're usually making fucking fart jokes. No, it's a pee joke.

It's a pee joke. You see disappears into the stone. Fair enough. Pissed appears. That was good. Bravo. Zirk, what would you like to do? Can I inspect the valve door? Yeah.

It's much like the one above it. It looks like you need to do some kind of damage to it or something. It looks like whatever mechanism that was allowing just it to be open is broken. Cool. Then yeah, I will summon Sprydle and ask them to wedge some dynamite in there and then I will use my

continual flame to light this fucker up. Rad, go ahead and roll, we'll say explosives are gonna do double damage to inorganic stuff. Go ahead and roll 66s. Wow! Wow! Nice. What color do you want this one to be, Spritele? Blue, Papa.

I want to just look like a bunch of water is flowing around. That's a weird choice, but I respect it. I'm into the well. I want to see another well. I love the drama. The way Henry was just spinning around. That was dramatic, yes. Alright, let's take the helm of the well. 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage. Once again, you see a big enough crack that the water starts to damage it busts through this room quickly

Drain the well goes away you guys are well again, and you see here There is another one of these rooms if now you guys want to go take a look at it You can go ahead and roll on the magic item table go ahead and somebody roll me a D100 Oh hell yeah 81 81 is a 9th level spell scroll Shit I'm going to go ahead and pick what spell baby It's not a fucking

whistle. It's gonna need to be something that doesn't need components because the only component is this scroll. Okay so you guys enter this room and you see this looks to be like a study or a library like somebody's office and you see that obviously all the books down here are soggy and destroyed.

You go, you see like a bunch of scrolls here. You see that they're illegible, that the ink has run from them. They no longer have like a magic script that they need. And then, Fiya, as you are looking around, you almost get the same feeling that you get when you do like a coronal shift where like you... The time devil's there.

You get like you do like almost like a double take like you see something wait no that's not how it is then see something for what it really is and you see one scroll that seems to be powerful enough that it was protected from the water here. And you open it up and you see that it is a time stop scroll. Oh! And for anybody at home who doesn't know what time stop is, it's the ninth level spell. You briefly stop the flow of time for everyone but yourself. No time passes for other creatures while you take 1D4 plus 1 turns in a row, during which

you can use actions and move as normal. Spell ends if one of the actions you use during this period or any effects that you create during this period affects a creature other than you or an object being worn or carried by someone other than you in addition to spell ends if you move to a place more than a thousand feet from the location where you cast it. Essentially lets you buff the shit out of yourself or heal yourself or it just gives you you can just fucking freeze time. It's a free turn. Yeah. Fia raises her eyebrows mischievously and tucks this scroll into the binding of her breast. That's really strong paper. You guys have cleared out this hall.

You see there's nothing really else to explore here but Fia had gone down deeper. You guys have cleared out this hall. You see, there's nothing really else to explore here. But Fia had gone down deeper. You see, once again, this next floor looks to be submerged. She had warned you guys that it does get hot down there. It gets steamy. You know, I always like the good steam. Exercises the demons a little bit. All right. Lead the way, Mr. Henry. I, are we sure that I should be going first? I feel like I've gotten my ass kicked so bad by this temple. It's bringing a great deal of levity to this experience.

Certainly. All right, great. And it lets us know how to avoid getting our asses kicked. So that's it. I took my, I took my nut into the netting of the bathing suit. I'm wearing no more The bathing suit It was in the bag of holding there's a bad heavy bathing suit in the Holding that looks like it was one by some giveaway somebody must drink a ton of what have you to get these?

Oh, did they use bud points? Wow so So many points. Someone is reaching bud points. That one, it's severely skidmarked. I don't want that one. I don't want that one. Here, you can use one of my jock straps. All right, y'all go down. Henry, you begin to swim down. You see, down here, you feel the water begin to warm up

as you enter. At the end of the hall, down like 100 hundred feet away from you, you see there's a statue that is emanating steam. It looks to be the source of the heat. There are two doorways between you and the statue as well as it looks like this is either the end of the temple or there are probably stairs beyond the statue that you just can't see because of all the steam around the statue. But Henry, would you like to proceed? It is starting to get kind of dangerously hot as you go.

Right. Yeah, I guess I'm gonna cautiously proceed. Great, give me a con saving throw. All right. This is fucking bananas. Oh no, Henry. Shout out to the to crew. Brutal, not the first checkpoint is not bad. You just take six damage as it starts to get hot and Henry runs pretty hot. So you're pretty hot. It's not as hot as FIA. If he is might be vulnerable to this damage, she's gonna have a bit. He takes these.

Well, I'm gonna take a second, then catch my breath, and second wind. I'm fucking not good. Okay, as you swim, you approach this first door. These are kind of like the doors you found, the scroll and before. If you wanna investigate or something, you would need to do like an athletics check and you'll potentially take more damage or you can just keep swimming. I'm going to keep on swimming. I think I'm going to be able to come back to this door.

Go ahead and give me another con saving throw. That's a 24. Okay, that is a pass. So you only take half, you take five damage as the water gets hotter as you start to approach this statue. You pass another one of these rooms. If you would like to engage with the statue, you now have the chance. You reach this statue and see that it is the summer fairy you saw on the mural. There's a glowing ruin on her shield, like a sunburst through which you see all of this steam. You can destroy it by magical means through like an arcana check of messing up the ruins

so like this spell doesn't work anymore, or you can just try to break it physically. It's up to you. I'll also say in the amount of time it took you to swim, you can also kind of wait for those guys if you've taken too much damage. We can say you guys are moving a little bit more at the same time.

You know, that would be the right thing to do, but I kind of want to scratch it this shield. Okay. I've got my ass kicked too many times by this goddamn cavern. Go ahead and make an attack roll. 23 hits. You start scratching at this sunburst with your claws.

13 damage. 13 damage. Looks to be damaged, but not all the way gone. All right, I'll take my second attack. Grape. Henry, hurry. My hair is frizzing up. I'm okay. Why didn't you say something earlier? Got to do something for his bangs. There's nothing that can be done about it when it gets too frizzy. Those curtains will drape again. 19 hits.

11 damage. You are able to disarm the strap. You are going to take one last burst of extreme heat from being up close fighting this thing, so go ahead and give him one more comment. This might be it for me, extreme heat, doesn't sound good, 30-20. You pass, but you take half, you take nine then. It's gonna be fucking off.

Okay, I'm all right. All right, you still up? So the water here is still abnormally hot, so you guys will still need to do con saves, but the damage level is way lower now. You guys see, Henry's able to break this spell, the steam begins to dissipate. Fia that's your turn. Thank you Mr. Henry. I'm going to explore one of these rooms to see if Battildos in there. Go ahead and give me an athletics check as you try to squeeze

into one of these rooms. That's all broken up with debris. That's gonna be a net one. Net one. You guys see Fia get stuck. Oh, okay. Yeah Zirk that is your turn Just picturing Fia like with her head in a treasure chest That's the second rule. That's the second rule of swimming. Don't get stuck and feed me a con saving throw Fea you slam right into a big claim If you've seen okay, um that passes you just take two damage. I failed my concentration I'm stuck and I'm also no longer swimming. Okay, so uh, Fea now has to hold her breath And she stuck oh all right

I was gonna try to do damage. I fell my god. That's insane. No, you have the mind sharpener. You can't. Yes. Yes, can I use it? Yeah, you have, of course, it regains your energy. It's my past is. He passed. All right. Thank you, Dr. Zirk. You're smelling salt, that was fucking dire for us. Yeah, you know what it'd be stuck and not able to breathe. That's rule number two and one. Okay, I will, oh, you know what, I'll use Spritell's range to cast a cure wounds on Henry.

Great. I could use it. You see, Spritele flies over to Henry and has a big potion jar and just jams it into his gills. I would have swallowed it normal. I'm sorry, Papa, I had very specific way. He wants me to do things. This is just how it has to be administered.

I don't know what you want me to say. You're the doctor. I know rituals, doctor knows medicine. You are the doctor. I am a doctor according to you. Go ahead and roll for the health. That's 12 hit points. That helps a lot. Great. And then I'll swim over and try and free Fia from this giant clam. So you go ahead and give me an athletics check. Wait, it's a giant clam. Moria. I respect you. Don't wrong her like I did. Moria, we're sorry about our friend Fuck Moria. I pledge my blade and your honor. I prostrate myself to the third mate. That's a three You are trying to pull Fia out and she is fucking stuck in there. Fuck, I'm stuck too!

Hey! We're stuck in the clam, hey! If it is the view of Maria, I will drown you. That is your turn, Henry. Why of all of the fucking fairies that I choose the wrong Maria? They're stuck in this doorway, right? Right. So instead of pulling them out, could I potentially break the door free

and push everybody into the room? It was super fucked up. They essentially like part of the bottom of the door was broken off and they tried to both climb at the same time and now we're both stuck in that. It's too idiot squirming in a door. They're squirming way too much. If one of them would stop squirming,

they would get through. This is the problem. You guys are doing this two at a time, instead of three at a time. It's got a common tank. That's what I said, give up. It is the real of Moria. No, I just got to open the door from the other side.

Make an attack or an athletics check. OK, 25. 25, yeah, you break the door down, or at least enough, so that these guys can squirm through. You guys are able to get into this room. Guys, go ahead and roll the D100 for the magic item table. You do it, it is the hand. Yeah, Henry, you do it.

Thank you, here we go. Come on, Moria, grant us a pearl. 36. You guys see this little room. It doesn't look like it's set up in any kind of like ceremonial way. This looks like this was a practical place that has like rusted armor.

There's some like armor stands in here. Obviously the metal stuff has rusted away, but you guys find a cloak of protection in here. Wow. Cloak of protection is an item that you can wear on top of your regular armor, and it gives you plus one AC and plus one to all saving throws.

Wow! We were just talking about how we needed to up your AC. Who sizes it? It's a cloak, it really could fit anybody. Mr. Henry, I think that you, this mysterious stranger for the cursed past, that you are going to turn into a blessing, I believe in this for you. I think you would look really good in a cloak.

You think if I'm like, you know, standing on the front of the ship, this is going to look cool, billowing in the wind with the sales. Also, very practically, it might help cover up the nut that keeps coming. He just does that. It's a very... Have you guys noticed that I thought I was catching it every once in a while, but I figured it wasn't a big deal. Yeah, I wrapped the cloak around my waist like a towel.

God. Just keeps popping out. Yeah. I think that's what's messing up all your saves. Sweet. We take the cloak. Yep. Plus one to armor class, plus one to all saves.

Very cool. Wow. Sweet. And here's what I will say, guys. Even though you guys have been surfacing, I will say clock is ticking now. You guys have, there's no way to drain the water on this level. You guys can swim deeper or you can investigate

this other room. If you investigate this other room, you guys are, it's going to be against the ticking clock a little bit, so you decide what you want. Yeah, Fiat, I just wanna make sure that we're not missing Batilda anywhere. If you wanna check this last room. No, yes, okay, I go.

I don't think we can leave any stone unturned, but Henry and I can start swimming towards the stairs and be ready just down there if you want. I'll say you can do like a cursory glance with an easier check that won't be a full investigation. Essentially, you can't grab any items in there, but you'd be able to tell if like, Batilda was in there. Okay, I will do this. Sweet, okay. You guys swim towards these stairs. Fiya, you poke your head into another one of these broken down doors, and you see another one

of these little studies with like all the books and everything look destroyed. You see there's no real bodies in there. You don't spend a lot of time looking around. You swim right back out and you guys swim down to the next level here. You see this hallway is very short and there is another doorway at the end of it. You see against the wall looking like she's about to input some code or use some kind of magic or something is betilda frozen in place. You see her purple cloak and leggings are tinted icy blue as his skin and her previously silver hair. You see, she has one hand out reaching out to this door that is closed, and the other one is nursing like

a grievous wound in her midsection. Go to her. Yes, I go to her, can I try to warm her up or can I do some kind of perception? She is under some kind of spell? Yeah, go ahead and do an Arcona check. 19. She looks to have been... she looks to be under a spell. Oh, and is this your doing? Oh, and can you hear me? Maybe, all of them saved her.

Can I grab her body and take her to the surface? Do you want to take her to the surface? There's a door right here. Yes, I will take, but till this blade, two of these doors. Yeah, you see, she obviously does not have her sword on her. She was probably disarmed at some point. You see, you know she had been fighting Kane. You see like a dagger at her side.

Looks like she had maybe lost her main form of fighting and had grabbed a sidearm Fia go ahead and roll on this door with advantage 17 17 hits I do the green flame blade. Okay, and so can I get a little bit of flame to lick her as well? warm her up. Yeah Can I get a little bit of flame to lick her as well? Warm her up? Yeah. Fia, you gather green flame around your blade,

glows bright, even under water here. You stab into the door. You see a bright flash of green light as it cracks, and you see water in the room begins flowing through it until it explodes and water begins rushing through. You guys kind of have to brace to stay standing, but you see the water here quickly joins like an underground river and you can even see light coming from like around the corner. It looks like this is kind of the way out. And you see as the green flame flickers on your sword

and you hold it near Batilda, you see Batilda begins to fall. You see Batilda. Her body goes from blue to a more natural color, but she's like sickly, she's wet and shivering. You see, she's got dark circles under her eyes. As soon as this spell is no longer holding her up, you see she collapses as soon as she can.

Um, I, I cast a healing word on her. This is all I have. Via, can I help? Can I, can I do anything? Yes. Yes, give her every doctor move that you have. Okay. Uh, yeah, you see, um, she collapses. Um, Via, you cast healing word. Kind of hold your hand over her grievous wound on her side. It looks like she was probably stabbed during the fight with cane.. And it looks like basically she was frozen here when the fight happened as she was damaged. And right now it's just like right back into it. So you see as soon as the frost spell goes, the first thing you hear from her is just like violent coughs.

And you see her wound begins like Bleeding again. Now put pressure on it. Okay. Okay. That's all I can do Don't scratch it with the don't scratch it with the nails. Just hands. God. Let's go. That's good I'm Fiya you cast healing word circus kind of directing traffic Batilda looks Simultaneously kind of injured by both things, by being frozen for that long. It looks like she just has the worst headache. Looks terrible is like shivering.

And on top of that has not fully recovered from her wound. Be a cast healing word. And you see it begins to heal her a little bit. And as you hold her on the ground, you see, um, she opens blirry eyes and goes, little fang. Yes, Patilda, it is me. I-I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I didn't know you were on trouble.

I would have come sooner if I had known. I didn't know. Little fang, I just-I saw you a few weeks ago. You're so big. Oh yes, you were frozen here by a ferry. The Winter Fairy. He saved you by freezing you. And it's been eight years, and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that. But you're here and you're okay and everything's going to be okay. She kind of nods and closes her eyes and smiles. She goes, good.

Book far, be a deer and put on some tea. And you guys see, she seems to stabilize. Zerks able to do some of his doctor magic, Fia's able to do the healing word. The healing word stabilizes her. She looks like essentially she just has like five levels of exhaustion. Her speed is zero, she just needs to be like carried,

but she will, it is Zerks, it would be Zerks medical opinion that she will recover. Lots of tea, lots and lots of tea Okay, well, I also lots of drugs, but mostly the tea Actually have gotten quite strong so I hoist her up with all of my girl's strength Wow look at that from a deep squat. She didn't even fucking flinch You hoist her up. We met Canley. We are going to bring you back to him.

Yes, yes. Very nice little thing. Yes, it is very nice. Okay, sleep. I'm so sorry. I'm talking to Martin. You need to go to sleep. Oh, it's good to hear you. It's good to hear you talking little thing. He's good to hear you talking. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner.

I know I said that already. I know I said I'm going to stop talking. So I am going hear you talking. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I know I said that already. I know I said I'm going to stop talking. So I am going to stop talking. You see, she smiles and falls asleep in your arms. I turn around to Henry and Zurich and just beam. With the tilde in my hands. Hey, you were right all along. I never had it doubt. I heard it Okay, should we bring her to cannelly? She's really sick or should we just like make a little place for her to sit here? Oh, I just can't believe that she's actually here

I will confess now that I did entertain doubts about this there were moments that I had doubts that this would happen like this Don't worry everything's gonna be okay. Can I do an insight to see if she's able to be moved? Or add us and check? Yeah. 13. 13. You guys should get her out of the temple.

She needs to be in like a bed. All right. You said there was a light down this way? Yeah, you guys see like through the cave, it looks like this rush of water has just like joined a river. It looks like this is kind of the way out. All right, let's quickly as we can. Fiya, I know you like running,

and now we need you to run as fast as you can and we'll do our best to keep up. Okay. Fiya takes off into the fastest sprint. Oh, you should have said that. She's never taken off beaming but also singing little lullabies for Batilda keeper head supported head supported we shout from the deep distance Via holding Batilda runs to this tunnel Henry and Zirk follow

You guys see this rush of water joins a river and you guys get swept up in its current and begin being taken down this tunnel. It's pretty rough and dangerous but you guys are pretty rough and tumble gang so you're able to navigate it okay and are able to stop yourself from going into like any hard edges or rocks or anything. Don't touch the side, don't touch the bottom, keep it going. Patil does head and legs are just up against the walls. You see, a book far as an octopus has wrapped himself around Patil does head to make like a helmet and it's just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh the end of the tunnel. But suddenly you guys feel a cold chill as a huge swell of water in front of you

crashes into the top of the cave and suddenly freezes, creating a wall of ice between you and the exit. And you guys pop out from beneath the water and ride its momentum into this wall of ice and slide to a stop. You guys see all wind appears on the other side of the tunnel. Why would you leave me here all alone? You don't have to stay here. It's Petilda. She's, she's sick. We have to get her to a bed.

I know. She's very sick. You saved her and thank you so much. I appreciate that so much. I did save her. And she will only get hurt if she leaves here. She's perfect here. A perfect memory.

She's not a memory. She has a future to make. A future? Death. She has so many more memories to make. This is what happens to humanoids. You've not been here as long as I have. Seen as much loss as I have. That's no life.

Oh, and please, I beg of you, if we do not get her to a bed, she will not be able to recover. I know how much life you've seen and how much death. And you're gonna see a little more if you don't let my friend go. And Zirk pulls a gun on this ferry. You guys see Zirk stands before this ice wall, pulls out the finished with you, I will make sure that that ugly weapon is away, and we will create a beautiful memory together. I won't remember you like this. You see, raises a hand as I see energy and frost gathers around him, and that's where

we'll end our session. Holy shit! Holy shit! Gathers around him and that's where we'll end our session Holy shit What a ride oh What a long ride that was my god. I really was like oh man We're really getting away with something but tell this all good. This is great Well, yeah, we'll talk about him more in the short rest, but he did save her. She probably wouldn't have put one out.

He totally did. It's the overprotective parent. He's like, now you must stay inside. He's like a helpful bad guy. Yeah, exactly. Right. So you know, it's got this reason. He's not.

You gotta listen to the story. I got fucking roses for you. Don't you worry about it. Tune into the short rest and hear what they are. All right, guys. So many chili frozen roses for you. Head on over to the show. I got fucking roses for you. Don't you worry about it. Tune into the short rest to hear what they are. So many chilly frozen roses for you. Head on over to callumfrazes.com. Rosage. NAD pod.

That's NADD, D-P-O-D, don't sing yet. Oh, but I wish to. We. After show. Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Oh, you know what? I'd like to plug our merch store, which just got which which currently right now has a new drop. The bright leap sigil ball cap. Oh, yes.

Live and well, and it's it's a beautiful piece of art. So check out shop. Dot nad pod dot com to cop one. Perfect. That is a spring. Get that son out of your eyes. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to plug? I will plug the PO box, had another fun drop there. Here we go, Rob and Sarah, me and Susanna, some nice baby onesies, including a barbarian

one that says I would like to rage, which is very cute. We know Rob and Sarah. Hi, Rob and Sarah. Yeah, Rob and Sarah. Friends of the show. Al, sent Emily and the hot boys of summer, some flower seeds as well as the Matrix trilogy on DVD. Thank you. God, life is good. God is good. God is God is good.

You're an honorary bonfire. Thank you. He says good. Bryce, being John H. is a hard one a book on how to scale your business. Don't even remember what that is. It's a reference to the Coco Knights episode. You don't need a book to know how to scale. I just don't forget all of that stuff.

Makes sense. It is gone. Gabriel M. sent some seeds for Emily including catnip. Yes, I actually planted the spearmen. Oh nice. That's awesome. And then oh, they also sent some dnd coins and tokens. I don't know if those are plantable, but I will try it. I will try it from point. Let's see, Becky D's and Emily some dice earrings. So you can just have a dice on you whenever you want. Oh. And congrats to Becky and Jake on their upcoming nuptials. All right.

Congratulations. Big ups on the nubs. Y'all this next one is incredible. Chantel and Pierre Luke gave us a gift certificate for a free dressage lesson at CSG horsemanship in Will's Barone, in Will's Barone, New York. Which is not too far from Drake. Whoa! Whoa!

Interested. Yes! Wow, that's a nice. Victor, my gosh. The next live show. We all. We all live on stage. I have a lot of voices.

I cannot wait. We all we are Could not wait I'm gonna fucking start my classes now actually so when we all take our class together I'm just like absolutely amazing Marissa and Zach Jay sent some scientific pop-up stickers you can check out the art of ecology.com for more merissa's work That is all from the PO box. Thank you all so much for sending us stuff It is lovely to go and check it and see that box overflowing with little goodies and treats. So I thank you. Thank you all. You can follow us on various social media. At Siegemriff is me. At EXPERT is Emily. At Colddy is Caldall and Atchikr is Jake and you can tweet about the show using hashtag hashtag NADPOD that's any DDPOD. We are the youth of the nation.

We are the youth of the nation. Ah, it is time to thank our benevolent counsel of elders. They are Brad D. Jeffrey S. Haldoir Frostback, Steel Breaker, and Matt M. Cute little ocean critters under the protection of Moria. They spend their days singing songs about how great the ocean is and their nights terrified that the demon named Henry will return to finish them off. Nice. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B, Deep Vogue comedians.

They mostly tell jokes about fools who refuse to honor ancient packs and are currently on a sold-out tour of all of Elder Morns, many abandoned temples and cursed halls. Sounds awesome. Shubart, the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly, Dame, Andrew M and Beardman, Dan, plus Scottie, the makers of Sleeping Veils, homesick for the nightly terrors of your haunted childhood, then try a sleeping veil. It's like a sleeping bag but for your face. Danny P. Mixologist Michael McD, Victor T. Balnor's boy, Andrew B. Kevin S. Red Bull lawyers

currently suing Zirk for saying that his potions will give you wings. He also says they'll give you gills, claws, and potentially tails, but they seem less bothered by that. Justin I, Ragnar Fared, won PJM, the Noembarbarian, Elena M, and Trayle, the Cray Faye. Acolites of the Time Devil, who saw a terrible vision of the future and dedicated their lives to making sure the stop, time, spell, scroll was properly laminated. Time Devil, be praised. Jared E. Austin, Bonesaw, MR, Damial R and Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt. Treasure Hunters frozen by all when over the years, occasionally he will unfreeze them to talk

about how movies aren't as good as they used to be. Sounds awesome. OctoLic, GageM, Richard X Machina, Michael L, and Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakurai as they assist you on the journey. Stella, Vervain, close friends and co-workers Salaman Sakurai as they sess you one. Stella, Vervaine's, close friends and co-workers not only have they taken Zerks place on the cell phone, family plan, but they all have unlimited talk and text. Oh, brutal. Trash the Traveler, Sir Carl, Jory S. Dana G, Azoth Shadows, Kalem L and Ryan.

Deep Vogue who have been silently watching the third mate's entire journey, they even saw Henry go back for more hot dogs after Zircon Fio were asleep, but dutifully said nothing. Thank you for that. Jack L. Flawless Whale, Temporal, Sam L, Nicholas C and Reese and S. Hollywood agents who are circling Bookvar, trying to capitalize on the Smap Fire heat, they're promising him a lot of houses with pools. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Colton B. Adam G. Mateo C. Quick blast cast calories, arms, dealers, literally. They keep her outfitted with the latest mechanical arms, currently trying to talk her into an upgrade

where everything's the same, but the fingernails are painted with glow-in-the-dark polish. Good luck on that one. I mean, I would do it. Nebadger, Panama James, Cummins and Bard, Adrian Halfling Bard, and Dan. The various Boundaryk Bounty Hunters trying to date Zerks Mom. Zerks gonna flip. Okay. Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty, C.C. Lulu, and Jay.

The track and field team that's trying to recruit Fiya for the Elderborn Olympics, crazy thing is they can't even catch up with her to ask. Barnes and Aitor, Michelle O. Timmy R, Jonathan W. The Croquering Warrior, and Lucas B, the authors of Blood Rituals for Beginners. It is wildly successful, but no one knows if it's actually any good or if it's just the blood sacrifice they've made to ensure it's success. Aaron S. Kevin M. Hogfishes above average hog, New York and Steven C. The Paladins of Moria. They carry giant mollusk shells for shields.

Their divine smites are a blast of ocean spray. And there's some in steed, some in the giant crab, which is pretty embarrassing to ride into battle on. Embarrassing but fierce and fearsome. KJ, Michael M. Rahul N, Mike K, and Maxwell C, plus? Garingay. Well, well-m workers were supposed to tweak the wellm

so it neither overwhelms nor underwhelms. Clearly, they just had the day off. Justin Raccoon, Nick W, Matthew R, and Esme M, Spar, and Spar, Tagnus, devotees of Sienna, the Autumn Fairy, they worship in Ser Sermonial Hoodies with pumpkin spice incense and only occasionally slaughter a goat. Nathan, Kazmir, the all-knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, Eric M. and Jack Mihoff. Bounty Hunters, who are so elite, they've actually been invited on Zurk's mom's group

text, she shares hilarious memes about arms dealing. look good and you can judge them by the cover. Joe Rowe the in-appropos, Liam D, the San Drian, Ben A, Feldonis and Dave H, the acolytes of the bags. These mysterious cloaked figures hide in temples waiting for adventurers to find them by leaving trails of crushed but heavies. Catherine as David K, Christian as Keith K, the time walker and Emilio D, adventurers who once tried to summon the deepfolk with a kazoo rather than help them the deepfolk pummeled them into a pulp. Frankie Koala, Big Bed John, Aston, S, Blair, the Bug Blair, Barbar Blarean, and Pork Chop, the Guardians of Moria.

Fears defenders of tiny sea creatures, unfortunately they are mollusks, so the most they can do is hide in their shells or bite your ankles Which is actually which is actually fucking terrifying Chanel M Alice Minette F Pat L a Chuta a and Lauren H invisible mimes who were prepared to catch Zirk if you were to fall Unfortunately no one saw or heard them so the option was never even explored you liest Hawthorne Maddie Y Axel H the eldest Ryan S, and the bone duster. Under mountain beaver folk who vowed to destroy the third maids for breaking their precious dams, dam you, third maids, dam you indeed. Joshua H. Robert Chris, Yee Drasel, Brett Lee C, and Micah B.

All winds winter, sprite buddies who sit around all day and talk about how awesome high school was. Remember going down to the shore after fairy prom that was epic. Best weekend of our lives. Ploups, Carly and Conor Savage, Russell H, Christopher J.O., and Logan S, and elder more demolition crew looking to enlist Sprydl for their new biggest job. Sprydl is an amazing candidate, but the only concerning thing is that they might like Demo, a little too much, which is actually a red flag. Leviathan, DemaE, BioCourt, Kenny, and Remington CD, Deep Folk, who actually get a kick out

of Lohbrow, who humor, Fartjoke's great, someone slipping and falling downstairs, hilarious, and you combine them both. I mean, jeez perfection. Amber Kay, Everett Pee, Trub, Hop Droper, K So Say, Jesse DLR, and also Lindsey W. Synchronized Swimmers who honed their craft by practicing the routine in the flooded temple, and they're honestly a little miffed that the third mates messed up their pool. Champ W. Vailin, Sprite, Pepsi, Carlin C, Antony S, and Sally S, Surfers who wake up every morning just to surf the well. When you're chasing the wellms, bro, that is when you feel the most free.

Tristan C. The Goose, Jake, Emily S. The new petty king of Adabaro, C.C., Matthew J., and Scripper. Followers of the C.Rogue SpongeBob Squarepants having gone over to the dark side, these folks are now the mortal enemy of Lusgar. Zane C. Michael S. The Bone Duster, Noah, Wyatt B. Loyal Theogir, and Rogue Cree. They wrote the book called Book Vard the Brave, about a book who was hit with a musket ball while fleeing, despite the premise of the book, despite the premise of the book is actually not in a sarc the book, Daniel N. Sam N. Joseph H. David S. and Mr. Dude Sky. Warriors who visit the hot steam of the sunken temple to just relax

and who will now have to use that room as a sauna since it's got a lot less water. But still pretty relaxing. Conflicted DM Justin L. B. Conor P. Dandy, Jennifer R. and Clipton A. Mollisks of Moria who are assembling on mass in the deep, plotting the revenge on Henry for whatever the hell he did to a snail in his past life. Whatever it is, I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry! Thank you.

That was a Hitgun podcast.