Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 20: Olwen the Sullen
Episode Date: April 16, 2021The Third Mates face off against Olwen, the emo winter fairy! Henry gets into it with some children, Zirk fails his swimming lesson, and Fia makes a pledge to Batilda. Support us at Patr...eon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Metal Drums" by RebelSpirit at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."The Bronze Bastard" by Emily Axford."The Ruins of Cragwater" by Emily Axford."The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."The Witch's Hut" by Emily Axford."The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford."Batilda's Blade" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody.
Oh, good morning.
I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwetz.
Henry Hoggfish, my life is hellish, because I wronged a shellfish.
Oh!
Maria, forgive us.
I see we've committed to that.
I apologize to the Mollis community.
And just a notepad file.
And then, of course, we've got Emory Axford.
Okay, this is hard because I wrote a different one,
but now I want to do a shellfish ride.
Oh, wow.
Okay, we're committing.
The dome.
Paladin, which?
Looking to pledge herself to a shellfish.
Okay, my other one was no frills,
mad skills, fish skills, ready to kill for buttilt.
Whoa, my god.
Thank god you said that one too.
I know, well, the shellfish one was pretty bad,
so I really had to pivot.
It was off the dome.
It was off the dome.
And then of course we've got called Oltanner.
Zirk for Vayne, alchemist who's ready to jam
and has never once wronged a clam.
Okay.
Oh okay.
Yeah, there we go.
That was on my sheet.
I came up with that one in the shower two days ago.
It seems like it.
You said it with confidence, the confidence of someone
who had written it ahead of time and was prepared.
We're old off your tongue. That's just the energy I bring. That is the confidence I inspire who had written it ahead of time and was prepared hold off your tongue
That's just the energy I bring that is the confidence I inspire. Let's do it
All right, yes, let's do it. I like it. Come on game. All right gang. Don't be a fucking suck up. I'll kill your character dude
Oh, where to god? The ones they love whoa
No, they don't you love me
It's a hard way to find out, but I appreciate it.
I love all of you guys.
It's why I'm trying to do a total party kill here.
Alright, let's go ahead and do a little recap.
So last time you guys faced quick blast, cast, Callaway in a tense standoff, during it,
Fia revealed that Zirk was still Vervein's son, prompting
Quintlast, to reveal her own connections to the Vervein family.
This sounds like a soap opera.
It is.
It's saucy.
The drama.
I love the drama.
Cass explained that Stella was sponsoring her trip and was looking to cash in on Batilda's
bounty.
Once diplomacy wasn't going to work,
Fiya attempted to send off Bookvar with damning information about Quick Blast, prompting the gun
slinger to shoot him out of the sky. A battle ensued, during which Fiya and Zirk were knocked out,
but eventually Henry was able to use the horn of the deep, given to the third mate's by Kenley,
to summon for deep
folk warriors who quickly surrounded quick blast and even the odds. Henry was able to cut a deal
to spare her life, provided she helped his friends, and she did so by giving them health potions.
You guys then made her promise not to continue pursuing Batilda, and she left after the deep folk rid her of her loot.
You then rested for the night while their leader, Lusgarh, helped you research the source
of Henry's curse.
Together, you were able to narrow it down to a spring fairy of the sea, and it seems my
players have narrowed it down even further.
That way down, we in-pointed it.
Moria!
You guys nailed it.
It's the mollusk lady.
It's Moria.
Moria, I pledge, but till this plane in your clam,
you can pay.
All the shrimp tails, all the shrimp jokes,
the scampie, it was in the scampie all along.
That's you, you, man.
You laid the breadcrumbs at our feet.
We didn't even know.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
We've got chapters.
This is quite a thing to do.
I did it.
I've been playing you since the beginning.
It was I all along.
Beware the mullet.
So the next morning, Lusgrar warned you
to be wary of the greater fairies
because they work for their own purposes.
You proceeded through the sunken temple
using various forms of alter self-spells to navigate the underwater challenges.
Some fairing better than others.
No, not naming any names.
Not naming any names.
When you guys got to the bottom, you found Batilda, presumably frozen by Owen the Winter Fairy,
before she could bleed out from a mortal wound. Together, you were able to thaw her and stabilize her and begin making your way out of the temple
through a secret exit.
However, before you could leave, you were trapped by a wall of ice summoned by Owen, revealed
to have ulterior motives of his own.
He wished to keep a betilde frozen in the temple to protect her forever and is threatened to do the same to the rest of you.
When Zirk pulled his gun, Owen began gathering ice energy and you all braced for battle, and that's where we are now.
Everybody go ahead and roll initiative.
Woo!
Yay!
Oh no!
That's 20 baby!
There we go! There we go! Let's do it. That's the baby. There we go. There we go.
There we go.
Let's do it.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do.
That's a positive can do. That's a positive can do. That's a positive can do. That's a positive can do. That's a positive can do. I was decimated by a well-m last session. Yeah, he was destroyed by some spinny water and the hot water.
Your weakness really is the sea.
What do you get with a NAT 20 Henry?
With a NAT 20, I get a 22.
11.
Six.
All right, to kick things off, at initiative 22, that is Henry.
You see, Owen is just giving this really long,
final fantasy speech as he gathers ice around him
and you manage to beat him to the bunch.
I shall preserve you in a perfect memory.
Too much time talking, buddy.
I was not, ah!
Yeah, not one for the speeches.
So I guess I'm just gonna,
I'm gonna swipe at Owen with my claws.
Sweet, you rush across the ice here.
Actually, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw.
Oh, no.
And forward towards all when.
Of course.
The river has completely frozen over.
So it is not like completely slick.
It is like packed ice like the waves of the current
Have made these like sharpened edges. I see so I have an idea. I'm not Henry's usually a magnificent ice skater, but since
There's sharp edges and stuff. I'll have to roll. I see
That's only 11 and 11 is 11 does it. It's a DC 10
So you're good to move normally
Beautiful sal cal from Henry
Henry you begin to run forward.
I don't even know what move that is, but yes, you do
whatever that is.
A perlet.
You're able to get triple axel up to Olwyn, who
looks down at you and goes, this is not how I remember it
happening, Henry.
I've pictured this battle in my head a thousand times
since we met earlier today, or yesterday. What is time to
an endless being? You planned on fighting us? I um what? Just admitted you did you seem so chill
but you were thinking about killing us the whole time? I am quite literally chill. I was a Pah-ha that you would try to take
Patilda from me. Well, I guess you've got a
pretty good read on our character because
here we go, point and guns, Acha. Yeah, I
will say that I with my ice clause I
kind of look like Apollo Ono like
skating across the ice on these
things. That is a 18 to hit. 18 does not hit. You see, like a javelin that's kind
of like a staff, it's got like an snowflake on one end. You see he spins it around. You
see there's like a little magical whisp of ice that blocks the attack from hitting him,
but like shatters. Ha!
You know, I'm glad that we're doing this version
of the battle that you pictured,
because it's super awesome.
I'm gonna take my second attack.
That isn't that 20.
Whoa!
There we go!
Okay.
Oh, what?
Henry!
I've been thinking about this fight too.
Vade Henry, you were going to fight?
It was destined.
Everyone is planning a fight.
I'm just trying to sound epic like Lost Gras.
It's like the stars on a snowy night.
The snow reflects in the moon.
I guess I will start assuming I'm going to fight people more often.
Yeah, you can start manifesting it.
That's 19 damage. 19 damage nice
And I'm also going to bonus action summon shank right on here we go. Hey buddy. Sorry about the well
I'm back from hell you fucking killed me you killed me you monster
You still wearing a bathing suit set me in why went into. It's freezing in here. The Wilm kicked my ass also.
It's fucking freezing in here.
We both got rocked, buddy.
So we just remember, it's every time, huh?
It is not a new guy that I'm summoning.
I remember you fucking sending me in.
Doesn't hurt?
Yeah, it hurt like hell.
It hurt real fucking bad.
Oh.
Yeah, no.
I was torn a sundaer.
I am starting to think shank is more cursed
than you, Hank. Yeah, no, I just die all sundaer. I am starting to think shank is more cursed than you, Hank.
Yeah, no, I just die all the fucking time.
You know?
That's actually, that's accurate.
I'm the second most cursed guy.
That is the layer action.
You guys feel the tunnel begins to get colder.
The ice begins to turn into like heavily,
thickly packed snow.
And you see little snowflakes all in the air.
Everybody go ahead and give me strength saving throws.
Oh dear.
Oh, I'm afraid it's a snow day.
Oh.
17.
You definitely thought about this fight
because you have lots of quick little quips
that are really good.
I have lots of little lines.
I've had this fight a thousand times in my memory.
And I shall remember it.
Is there anyone where we want?
Over and over again, never.
No, well we all win because we get to live together in a snow globe.
A.K.A.
Is this temple?
Yes.
How are we posed in the snow globe?
What are we doing?
You are kind of tinkering away on various elixirs and that's fun
Have those vicious bone claws away and instead of kind of have your hands up like you're looking around like an
Explore and fear you have your nose in a book. It's adorable. Okay guys here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna all pretend that we're in a snow globe
and he's gonna think he's one.
We're just gonna all freeze for one round.
Interest.
He'll use us in action to take out a book.
Would you guys get an restraints saves?
17.
17.
I was hoping you weren't gonna ask and that one.
Oh, brutal.
Here you were swinging while today. Yeah, I thought you forgot. I love that you weren't gonna ask and that one oh You're swinging while today. Yeah, I love that you try not
Henry is Henry is honestly in the best position to
Fail that because the snow restraints him
So the snow would restrain you guys instead. It's just going to be difficult terrain
So you guys are suddenly surrounded by thick snow.
You guys have this ice wall behind you.
You guys are up to your wastes in snow.
Henry, you're stuck in the snow here,
but you're right up on the stuid.
So you're okay for now.
These shorts just increasingly a bad idea.
And I can tell you the nut is still exposed.
I feel it now.
None of this was ever a good idea.
That is Owens turn.
On Owens turn, he reaches his hand out
and you see little snowflakes gather around it
and he goes, I hope it's not too much for you.
The cold snap.
He snaps his finger.
And you guys once again.
He's got note cards.
I see him reading off the note cards.
He's got like a little mole skin notebook.
You have a ghost right there, be honest.
You're writing all these quips yourself.
I write all my own lyrics.
These are songs that I'm working on.
I love you.
You can make a musical out of this.
Yes, we do the Fallout Boy way of writing a song where Pete Wentz writes poetry in the
Patrick Stump turns into a song.
I just beat my Patrick Stump.
So you're Fallout Boy with only Pete Wentz.
I am the Pete Wentz of the P.W.E.S. of the temple. Everybody go ahead and give me a con save.
Did you guys feel a deep chill in the air?
This crazy winter wintz.
Winter wintz, 19.
That will be a nine for FIA.
19.
FIA, you gain a level of exhaustion.
Oh, fuck.
You feel a deep chill in your bones. Is this affecting
Batilda? It is not affecting Batilda. You see? So Owen is not based on what he said.
He is not trying to kill you guys. He's trying to freeze you guys. So Batilda is
already like almost there. She's already like, you know, five levels of
exhaustion. He's not trying to kill anyone.
Should you guys fail, this will be a total party freeze
or you guys are just statues
until someone finds you.
Oh, so, you know, there's a level of lethality here,
but he's not trying to kill Patilda.
So there's a chance eight years could pass
between this and the next session.
Exactly, yes.
Exactly, yes.
I would never hurt Patilda, I just want to keep her forever
Damn you wince after the cold snap you see he's going to
Take two swings with his javelin against
Henry here gets advantage because Henry is restrained. Oh dear. This is going to hurt a little bits But I would just freeze you if I could
That's 23 to hit.
Yeah.
Nine damage, Henry.
Oh, sorry.
Takes a second swing.
Doesn't feel like you're freezing me at all.
For its.
You're stabbing me with the javelins.
Stabbed you directly in the heart.
Oh no, you've been frozen by a broken heart.
Just stabbed you with a blade.
I thought we were doing snow stuff.
So stabs you with steel became decidedly less cute.
You're stabbed for 19 damage, Henry.
Good boy.
All right, I'm really fucked up.
And then Fiya, that is your turn.
OK, hell far am I from him.
We'll say 30 feet away?
I will go 15 feet because that's what I can do.
Okay.
And I will burning hands him at a third level.
Okay.
Oh, this isn't on theme?
No!
Not really, dad.
Fire!
He doesn't deck save.
Deck save, okay.
Sorry to ruin your concept album.
Ooh, that's a natural five he just fully gets toasted
Wait no, you'll melt all the snow stop you're ruining the aesthetic
Says not how I remembered it. This is different. It's different is bad
15 fire damage
And I would also like to give Patilda her blade Patilda
And I would also like to give Batilda her blade Batilda
She's she's out. She's she can't fight
Five levels of exhaustion. She has zero speed. She's got nothing. Oh, when is actually going to use a reaction on you Fia
Frigid Rebuke Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw you see he holds his hands up and throws icicles at you
No, stop like this
It's trying to hit me. I got a fucking dirty 20.
icicles just goes and melts as soon as it hits like the warm area that the burning hands just
hit. No my icicles. Just wait till I get in range with you. I am going to hit you with so many flaming
slugs. Oh good luck getting through the snow. Do you need a plow? What was that?
What was that? You gave a little laugh at the end of that. It wasn't a joke. Just a little laugh between friends.
No, why not? You're too slippery. I'm trying to get a hold on what your angle is here.
Zirk, that is your turn. Okay. I think Zirk remembers the rune that he saw
on the statue of Calista when we were swimming.
Okay.
And he tries to replicate that on maybe the side of his gun.
Yeah, I think I try and like etch that rune
on the side of my gun.
And I want to use that to cast flaming sphere, okay.
Which is a five foot diameter sphere of fire appears in an unoccupied space
of your choice within range and lasts for the duration. Any creature that ends its turn
within five feet of the sphere must make it an austerity saving throw. The creature
takes 2d6 fire damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one.
Sweet.
I'm just gonna shoot a giant sphere of fire from my gun nice at all win
Oh, no fire destroys things the ice will preserve everything. What are you doing if you're gonna amount a stage play
You're gonna need to use some pyrotechnics. I'm telling you right now. Um, so yeah, you see this
Flaming sphere of fire appears near an all win or shoots out of the gun and
stops near all win and all win will need to make a check at the end of the gun and stops near all-win and all-win will need to
make a check at the end of his turn.
And then as my bonus action, I'm gonna tell Spritele
to add to the Pyro Technic Chaos
and drop some dynamite on the Flaming Sphere.
He makes a deck saving throw, go ahead and roll 3d6.
I use a Spritele, throws a stick of dynamite.
It's just like when my mom would let me play with dynamite completely unsupervised.
Why would you give your child dynamite? It's what my mom did for me. I'm just repeating those dates of the past.
That's a
15 for him. Okay, that fails. Okay, so that's just that's six damage though from the D6's. Oh, you would think dynamite would hurt more.
It's child-friendly dynamite, I made sure.
You're more responsible than I thought you were.
More like a mean candle.
Why?
Don't laugh at our jokes.
Okay, we're not friends.
I don't understand this.
I remember when we were all in that room before
and I should have done this.
That was a little movie.
That was good. movie that was good
and the movie again
you're literally the friendship we could do it a million times we could do
what other movies do you know do you know other movies yes I know Edwin
you stabbed me with a fucking javelin man you
dad tried to stab me with your claws in fact you did stab me with your
claws who really attacked who first I just stood menacingly and said we can't
come back from this. We don't come back from this. Maybe you just turn into a movie and we leave.
Well no you have to stay and watch the movies with me. We can watch it with scissors hands.
We can watch the nightmare before Christmas. We can watch Donny Darko. We can watch those are
our three choices. The Joker movie choices what that is Henry's turn okay
So I'm stuck in the in this ice you are stuck in this ice until the layer action
So you can make an attack with disadvantage. I am going to swap places with shank. Oh, oh
Okay, yeah
You see shank is sneaking up behind him.
Yeah, I got this one, Hank.
Suddenly is just like three feet deep in snow.
Ah, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
You know what, these really feeds the shank
is the real cursed one, TRD.
Yeah, suddenly my pity is shifting.
Okay, yeah, you know, if we can cure Shanks curse,
then maybe I'll be free too.
So I'll take both of my attacks.
That's a 22 and a 21.
Both hit, great.
Yeah, so you swap spots with Shank,
Shank gets stuck in the snow,
you appear behind him, sort of in the air
and swing twice with your claws on the way down.
Okay. 27 damage way down. Okay.
27 damage.
Geez.
Nice.
Oh, you stabbed me in the back.
Just as you figuratively stabbed me in the back when you tried to leave the temple, even though we have friends.
Very nice wins.
I could see you shouting that to like a really sick drum line, like when the guitar drops out, that'd be kind of cool.
Thank you. And I'm also going to use my second win.
You take a moment.
That is the layer action.
For the layer action, you see,
Owen begins spinning his staff, his javelin,
and you see a swirl of cold fog.
Everybody go ahead and give me
a constitution saving throw.
Okay. That will be a five for
Fia. 22. That's a natural one for Zirk. Zirk takes the pose that Owen saw in his snow globe.
Fia and Zirk, you guys take seven, Henry, you just take half, you take three. Okay. Is the flaming
sphere causing the fog to disperse I will allow the sphere to
Start to disperse the fog so you see while there is this like immediate well of a well of cold energy
You see shank begins freaking out. Oh, it's the well. It's the fucking well. It's coming back
Come down man. It's just not a scary word. You do see that the sphere of flame is able to help dissipate it
Oh
Rooting these that it's terrible. That's right fear the sphere
That is
Oh, when is going to use a bonus action to
Face step, which is like a misty step away from the spheres.
He's not right next to it.
So that's the game we're playing now.
He is going to go ahead and cast Cone of Cold.
Oh.
Cone to his staff up.
A Cone of blue energy emerges.
OK.
I'm going to say he's going to be able to get all of you guys.
Everybody go ahead and give me a constitution.
Say, I'm going to throw.
All righty.
OK. Ooh, OK. 21. 17? 17 is going to pass. I'm gonna say he's gonna be able to get all of you guys everybody go ahead and give me a constitution safe throw already Okay
Ooh, okay 21 17 17 is gonna pass. Whoo perfect. I also got a 17 okay
Um, so you guys all only take 11 damage
You guys see this cone of cold energy
Fills the tunnel once again covering you guys in like frost and snow.
That is fiest turn.
Okay.
Fia is going to take her movement and then misty step to get the rest of the way.
Pop out of nowhere.
Okay.
Attack him.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.
That freaked all of it.
I just quit, baby.
Oh, God.
I did not see this happening.
I don't remember this way.
I feel like you didn't prep as much as you're saying you did.
What did you, uh, talk about me through this.
You pictured it a thousand different ways, all of which we're going well for you.
They were all the same.
Wait, I have a question.
Don't you understand?
We had it right the first time.
How many times did it end with us applauding your wonderful lyrics every single time
Okay, that explains a lot what happened was I said some really cool stuff and then everyone
Everyone all at once cheered and then you all stayed frozen cheering
I guess I'm really proud of just how confident you are in yourself. Yes
supremely confident 37 damage. Oh my god. You guys see
Oh, and it's just having this whiny conversation
With sir back and forth and then you see fear just appears behind him flaming green blade just like almost my head
He had to. Oh!
Oh!
Because I do four D6.
Because it's 2D6 from my sword.
If you double it, that's four D6, one D8.
So that becomes 2D8.
So I rolled 2D8.
So I got eight on each.
Four D6s.
It's extremely good.
And then I add my plus four.
So this is all about the board, right?
Yeah.
It's all about the board.
He is going to go ahead and use his frigid rebuke.
I repuby you frigid thing. go ahead and use his frigid rebuke. I repute you frigid there.
Go ahead and make a con saving throw.
15.
15 is going to fail.
You know what you're right.
I was a very bad girl.
I deserve a legal rebuke.
Yeah.
It's a very little rebuke though.
I mean, her thing was way more impressive.
Wow.
14 damage.
It's just a little rebuke on the wrist.
That is Zirk's turn.
I turn to Sprydell and say, this guy should not be a role model.
Let's just clear that thought from our heads.
Okay, his melodies are better than his lyrics for sure.
We'll find you a better wince.
Stomp did the heavy lifting.
How dare you.
And I think Zirk is going to run into range and pull out his
Flintlock and say, sorry, Owen, but I'm more of a
holistic guy.
And I'm going to cast Firebolt.
Sweets.
That is a natural 20.
Woohoo!
We all done great on Owen.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Everything bad always happens to me.
OK. You say stuff like that. It's really unsentific. Yeah, I don't know everything bad always happens to me
You say stuff like that. It's really on sympathetic. You just don't do that kind of talk around here anymore, okay? Yeah for real no one's bet no one's life is worse than me
Look at Jake no
No, mind's even worse. I live at the temple by myself. No one wants to hang out
Everyone used to hang out now nobody hangs out. There's so many other fairies here
What about Kalista Kalista hates me?
Oh
Just like a aren't you just like well Kalista seems like she's got her own sort of
Unsaved her he has also hates you Kalista wants to hurt you. I'm on your side
Don't you guys understand I'm on your side. She was talking shit about you guys. What she say
She was
These little humanoids coming through the one with the books, but she can't even read those books very fast
I feel like he's making this up for you. Yeah, I don't think she
Feel start walking
I need to go read some books in front of a fucking fairy, bitch.
Hold me back, miss. Hold me back. You see an octopus flapping in the ice.
Both of our im sorry. I wanted to include you, but you just don't move fast enough as an octopus.
Yes, no miss. This isn't great. He's just slip sliding around on the ground.
Ah, damn shank. Why can't you ever be an octopus?
He killed, let me in the goddamn snow. That's 22 points of fire damage good God
And then I'm going to as a bonus action petally move the sphere closer to all win
Stop we can play this game all day. You know I'm going to dodge this silly fireball over and over and over again
going to dodge this silly fireball over and over and over and over again. Stop dodging it, you look better in this lighting.
No, I don't.
I look better in the moonlight.
That is back up to Henry.
Okay, so Shank is immune to all conditions.
So does that mean he's not stuck in the snow?
The snow is gone.
Snow has melted away.
Oh, okay, great.
So then Shank is going to move his 30 feet away
from me down the cave, okay?
And the attacks are going to originate
from Shank's position, not mine.
Great.
Shank, I'm not the guy that put you in the snow.
It technically, it started with Owen.
I blame everybody, okay.
Well, take it out on him first.
All right. That is a 21 and a 14 to hit.
14 misses, 21 hits.
Okay.
I was just about to say you guys don't miss,
but sometimes you do.
That is, that's 10 damage.
Oh, I'm gonna unleash incarnation
and have Shank attack all on his own.
Okay.
That is a two.
There we go.
Shank, as a shadow somehow slips on the ice
You're supposed to be immune
Slip on the shadow the ice it's slippery. It's magical eyes
No one in no shadow is immune to my slippery nose. Maybe you can hang out with Moria. They seem cool little mollusks
Why careful do not insult the mollus? I think I might I am it if you're night with Moria, they seem cool. Little mollusks, why? Careful, do not insult the mollus, I think I might have.
I am a future night of Moria, so you might want to tread lightly on these bean ice.
Moria, Moria, to gross little mollusks, who cares?
You see, until you see me wearing a dress.
Just to finish the dress.
What?
What? Just to see. Just the dress. What?
Just to see where I could dress.
That dress of muscles clipped to my skin.
So not, I clipped to your skin?
Clipped to your skin?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm clinging to me a little bit.
To be fair, that would freak literally all of us out.
Oh, great.
I would leave.
I would run.
You might think she'd be wearing a dress made of pearls.
No.
No, not that.
Fuck your mullers.
Oh!
He makes.
Oh my gosh.
I speed on my soul on a sculpture of a clam and then shatters it as a layer actor.
Everyone run.
I see those that you got.
He's fucking cursed.
He's done. Makes an attack against each those that you got. He's fucking cursed, he's done.
Makes an attack against each one of you guys.
First one against Zirk.
Misses.
Second one against Fia.
Is an 18-hit?
Yeah, Shield.
Shield.
Hey, blocks it.
Can I say that?
Can we say that out of nowhere?
Clam shell comes up.
Yeah, you're a giant fucking hermit crab.
Yeah.
I'll hail the future night of Moria.
One goes against Hank, that's 17 hit.
That hits.
Can I crown or shift that hit?
You sure can.
Okay, I'm going to crown or shift that hit.
Oh, I love the trill of that R.
Fear!
Fear looks at what has happened.
And she remembers a different future.
How about that always?
Who would think about the future when there's so many great memories in the past?
I came in here and you're talking about remembering the future and now I try to
play your game and you act like it's so weird. It's just weird.
It's a re-roll the attack. Sorry, it's still hit. That's an idea. uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Mechanically you're gonna be doing death saves, but you guys see Henry begins to freeze. He's not like struggling to breather anything
You see he has like frozen in place and you see ice is beginning to take over his body. That is
Owens turn. Oh no. Owens is going to go ahead and cast ice storm. That doesn't sound so bad
and cast ice storm. What in sense, who bad?
Via and Zirk go ahead and give me dexterity saving throws.
Henry, you are automatically gonna fail this.
Again, he's trying to take your death saves away,
but not because they're death saves, they're like
frozen for life saves.
18 for fear.
Almost, man.
You might think that this storm of hell
that I am bringing down
and your unconscious friend is hurting him but really
all I'm doing is trying to preserve it. It hurts. You want to preserve him while it's nuts out?
That was not my choice. Yeah, I'm so sorry but I since Henry is out right now I'll say he's out in
like a really unflattering position. It's just it's too cruel. I really get his skinny jeans.
That's like picking my nose with one of my claws.
This is like, I don't think you want to remember him like this.
And I won't.
Yeah, Zirk is watching Henry reach down his ass to scratch himself and get Enrolls a six.
Just move my arm.
Please.
Fia, you take 10 damage, Zirk, you take 20.
Oh no, that is exactly how much HP. I had left yikes
One heath point you were at one point one the heath point
11 the points and you said 10. I can't believe we're getting waxed by winds
You know he does look very very hurts. Oh there
by wins. You know he does look very very hurts. Oh there. Bad news though gang but luckily Fiya is next in the order. Oh boy. I will take him. Henry lost one death save. You see as
he's pelted with these balls of hail begins to freeze more. You see Zerk begins to freeze as
he goes unconscious and begins entering like a frozen stasis. And then-
Sprydell is still around though, right?
Sprydell is still around, yeah.
Okay, I will have BookVar continue to move five feet.
I'm trying my best miss. It's very slippery. It's very far.
It's kind of just seems like it's not gonna happen just flocks around
And then I will attack him with my sword
16 plus 7 is a 23 hits I hit him for hold on
11 damage, okay on death store. Oh. Fuck, he's on DeathStore.
Let's just stay here forever.
Yeah.
Slows down time to realize this position she is in.
I will try to keep him one more time with my board perist.
Okay.
Hell yeah.
Don't play his game.
I will use a crownal shift because that's not even...
Oh boy.
Does it 20 hit?
20 does hit.
13 damage.
Fia?
Yes!
Finish him.
Oh my God!
Holy shit!
Oh that was tight.
Okay, I would like to gut him with my flaming sword and then take my flaming sword over
to unthaw my friends.
Joylessly. You see, as you pull out your green flame blade, you slash him once, you get him down the
death's door, he goes, Fiya, no, it doesn't have to be like this.
I say I know you are just an illusion.
I know you're not actually here.
This is a manifestation of you.
This is true, Perhaps we will meet again
I will not hold this against you because you did save Patilda if you don't hold it against me
I could never let a little bit of hard stabbing come between friends
Anyways, the fire is like leaking you and you are pretty charged now
So I need to use this to unthought my friends bye bye so you stab into into Owen you see as it pierces his chest you feel a heat wave in the
tunnel you see the ice around you begins to melt Owen himself is surrounded by
hovering condensation as his frosty aura melts away you see his icy form
turns to water as he splashes into the river
and disperses. Quickly all the snow and ice melts around you and the current of the river
picks up again because he was not trying to kill you guys. Once like the curse breaks that
he was trying to like freeze you guys with Henry and Zirk you guys pop up to one HP. So you guys come to, and you see,
Fia, like in the air, has just been stabbing this dude.
He turns to water.
You guys all fall into the cold water,
and the water begins picking up again,
going down the tunnel.
Oh, cold cold cold, watch the film.
I'll say you guys are able to, Fia,
you're able to get to Patilda and secure her.
Patilda, grab onto me.
A little fang, it's cold in here.
It's all, it's all grew up former raft, former raft.
Here, warm yourself on your sword.
This is your sword.
Let me give this back to you.
I'm sorry that I had to borrow it.
No, you'll do more good with it than I will.
Book far, where's my tea? Why are you ice skating?
Now I'm swimming.
Where did you get eight little roller skates?
Roller skates, why roller skates?
Ice skates, I meant to say.
Well, that was where I went wrong.
I was wearing roller skates.
That's why you only move five feet. That's why you only move five feet.
That's why I only move five feet.
So you guys are able to grab a tilt up
and you guys start reaching the end of the tunnel.
You guys begin to feel the open air
and out in front of you all you see is clouds
from this massive height.
It looks as if you're about to go over the edge
of a massive waterfall.
Henry steer us, Henry! How do we steer? How do we steer?
Maybe we do find the side. Let's try to find the side.
Are you sure?
Moria, Moria, please shuttle us safely with your clams.
Moria, give us your krill. As you shout for Moria, you guys suddenly see a few ropes
lower down from above the tunnel
Moria is guys everybody give me athletics checks to try to grab them. Oh boy. I am out of chronal shifts now my
Dear zirk failed rope class 13 for fias. Okay, I rolled a 25
Do I do it good enough that I can kick my foot out to Zirk?
Oh, you know what?
I'm breaking a 20. I will say that you'll allow Zirk to do another athletics check. Thank you
Zirk is prone in the water like a log. Yeah, Zirk doesn't know how to swim really
He's not a swimmer. Yeah, he has to find the top. Yeah, the top of the water is what you want to be my mom said that if you're on the water
Then there's no escape. There's no escape from the villagers if you're of the water is what you want to be my mom said that if you're on the water then there's no escape There's no escape from the villagers if you're in the water
So I just want to let go of the vials. You have too many bags. You have too many bags, sir
I rolled one higher that is a seven that time okay, he's a see you're able to grab on to the rope
Henry you're able to grab on to the rope
you swing your foot forward and
Zirk you are not able to grab it. You guys see Zirk is going over
the edge of the river here. How far away is he? We'll say he's like five feet away, like he just missed
your foot. I'm gonna summon Shank and put him in the water with Zirk. Okay. Oh, what the fuck?
And then I should be able to swap places with him just for a second to try to grab on the rope.
Oh.
So you're going to summon Shank and use him
almost like an extender like he can grab onto your foot
and grab on dessert.
Yeah.
OK, I will let you make an athletics check now
to try to grab on dessert.
Shank, I owe you one buddy.
That is a dirty, dirty 20.
Oh, that does it.
You see, Shank appears is able to, dirty 20. Oh, that does it. You see, Shank appears, is able to grab onto Zirk.
I put my body directly over Shank's face.
I can't see, I can't, nope, nope.
It's another Bjorn situation.
Yeah, good God.
Shank, your story is so tragic.
You guys see, there is one empty rope next to you guys that just gets pulled up
You feel somebody pulling up the rope with
Henry and Zirk on it and you feel want somebody pulling up the rope with Fion it and you guys get to
The cliff overhanging this tunnel here
And you see that lusts grower and his crew are the ones pulling you guys up.
And you see lust-scrar, I'm just both feet planted in like a fucking wide stance. It's just, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh and Henry on the rope. Oh, yeah.
Oh my god.
Macho man, the Randy said.
Yeah.
I give him a kiss on the cheek.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So you guys are pulled.
You're on the side of a massive cliff.
It goes a bit higher.
You can tell that that's where the rest of the temple
is built into the mountain.
But there's not much else higher than you guys.
You guys are high, high in the sky on top of this tunnel.
And you see the last square goes...
We stuck around because I was truly curious if Batilda could possibly be saved.
I didn't think it was possible, but you've done it.
Batilda is the strongest bitch in all the land.
Right? Show them, Batilda.
That's right! I give her the sword. Do a quick show like you used to do for me.
Yeah, it's just very...
Patilt, Patilt, Patilt can do anything. I sit down, cross-legged.
You see, she just immediately collapses with the weight of the sword.
There's just a loud clang.
It's the rocks.
She begins unceremoniously sliding down the side of the mountain.
I'm going to need you to step away from my patient.
Everyone is all part of the show.
And Rhea does a little golf clap.
It's building the tension.
You think she's going to fall.
And then she's really fast.
Very interesting.
It's going to be a free fall soon
Should we should we grab her?
Because please it just seems like a lot of work to save her and then for this to be her and it doesn't feel job
It's an interesting it's an interesting show
What a twist she just seems like if if it were part of the show that she would get up at some point
You see just she just continues the slide down the mountain. Maybe it's an
get up at some point. You see just you just continue to slide down the mountain. Maybe it's an
intermission. This is a really long
thing. I know any second any second.
You see, um, Lusgargo's over, um, Grabser, and, um,
picks her up kind of hoist and stir up, um, and he goes,
we have an outpost close by. We can get her to a bed.
Yes, yes, we need a bed immediately. So if you have an outpost for your love to go there.
Yes. This episode of NAD pod your love to go there. Yes.
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go team pants and enjoy the show. You see that the other deep folk
begin setting up like climbing equipment and ropes
to begin climbing down the mountain.
I won't make you guys do athletics checks.
Oh, thank you.
That's good because we all have one key point three.
Don't get hit by like a pebble or anything, okay?
If we all fail, we just don't, don't, don't.
Yeah, out, out. Zerks, he's a vulture's eyes staring at him through the night. Oh no! You just
attract these things. There's so many swirling overhead. Lesca Arnes crew are
really buttoned up. They're all about mountain safety. Oh cool. Bale blay. Wow. Repelling.
You guys, I'll go down the mountain.
You see you are at a lake at the base of this massive waterfall.
You see, Lusgrar leads you to a pathway behind the waterfall.
You guys hear the thunderous sounds of the water crashing.
You see mist fills the air.
And you see Lusgrar approaches a fissure in the rock face.
And he speaks to it and he goes.
Blood from stone.
Glory to Zelbaldar.
Fucking awesome.
You see the fissure shakes and cracks open.
Lusgrar, let me know if we all need to speak that,
if you need anyone else to yell it you see it begins to close
what I've never seen this
I've got blood from stone blood from
sclerd is over the
right will accept you
it keeps close to the blood
stone
you see the fissure shakes and cracks open, revealing the secret door. Lost guard leads you guys through a dark tunnel that quickly widens out to an underground town.
You guys see, the stone beneath your feet goes from being, you know, the dirt and the rock of the mountain
to looking cut and designed, kind of like cobblestone. You see in this wide,
wide cavern, you see lights and fires in different stone houses around the perimeter of the town.
And straight ahead of you, you see the town square, you see dozens of deep folk out and about.
The centerpiece is a fountain with a bronze hue. You see an autumn
fairy with a stern look in a cloak of leaves. There are different shops and taverns and inns.
You see hunters on their way out of the mountain. You see minors going deeper in. You see cooks,
cooking giant cuts of like yedi meat on a spit. You see there are people out here drinking. It's kind of a mix of work and play.
You guys do see sprites in here too. You see sprites and sprite lamps around town lighting
the way with a warm glow. And that's a little bit strange just because you didn't really
see sprites in the mountains. So it does seem like these are kind of an inherently magical
people that like the sprites and the sprites like them.
Let's go on how long have your people been here?
We've been in this outpost for a few years.
There are over a dozen of these throughout the mountain.
It serves our nomadic lifestyle
while also giving us some permanence
and some protection against horrors
or other natural predators.
Are there tunnels that connect to within the mountain?
So that you never see the light of day?
There are tunnels within the mountain.
We don't have to see the light of day, but some of us travel outside to hunt yeties and whatnot.
Very interesting. And pneumatic tubes for male and sewage and whatnot.
We don't really do with tubes.
Hopefully different, different tubes for each one.
I too would like to know about the postal system.
We just have like magic and stuff, I guess.
Okay, Zerk writes down magic.
That's usually the answer, I don't know why I ask.
Interesting.
Can I send a postcard right now?
I'd like to see it in action.
Oh, I also wanted to send a postcard right now. I'd like to see it in action. Oh, I also wanted to send a postcard.
Uh, very well, we can pick some up at the gift store later.
Okay, and I actually have to use the bathroom.
So if I could see the magic toilet, that would get right.
A hidden town, we did give store for toilets.
Wow.
Okay.
Stationary supplies.
Well, you know,
deep full from other outposts come here and they want to get
the postcard from Zell Bull D'Arre 7 to show that they've you it's kind of a thing to try to collect
to collect, you know, all all 23. Right. Life is heaven in Zell Bull D'Arre 7. You have just placed a challenge on my plate
and I will eat it up
concretely. All 23 you said? 23. All right. We have quarter. The outposts are
named in dedication to we once had a great underground city called Zelbald R that
spanned the length of these great mountains, but it was destroyed many years ago
by a great earthquake.
Sorry to hear that.
Yes, the very Sienna warned us of its impending destruction,
but we did not listen at the time,
but we always heed her wisdom now.
Would you say all the fairies with wisdom should be heated
or are some of them wrong sometimes?
Absolutely, some of them are wrong sometimes
Absolutely some of them will try all of them. We'll try to absolutely fuck you. Yes, okay to hear this You see until the begins coughing
You just died
Let's get her let's get her to a bed. It's just yeah, we'll talk post-parts later
We were all also about to die so it's nice to have a moment to breathe. Let's go.
You see, he nods to a tavern nearby.
You see a swinging wooden sign that reads the Earth and Ale tavern, and he goes,
my mother owns that place, she will give us a bet.
Nice.
Connected.
So you guys go to the Earth and Elle in and you guys see a lively tavern with warm lights
and lanterns.
You see outside a swinging wooden sign reads Earth and Elle.
You enter and instantly hear the sounds of intense drumming.
You see there's a shirtless deep folk playing this
elaborate set of drums with two big batons. It sounds like halfway between
like war drums and then also like double bass pedal metal. Awesome. Just like
super super intricate. The dude's like sweaty as hell. Do I take damage from
this? Yeah you guys die. Inspirations own. Inspirations, you're dead.
Yeah, it's definitely one of those things
where it's just super, super loud.
And everybody is screaming to each other to talk in here.
But it seems like that's just the volume that this place gets to.
You guys see there are people here at tables drinking
and having lively chats.
And you see behind the bar, there
is a woman that looks a lot like a lust scar.
But older, like him, she has white white hair, but with more like wrinkles around her cheeks and
eyes, you see she has the same like septum piercing, but her tusks are pointed downward.
Is there anyone drinking a tall dark stout?
Oh yeah.
And are there any ash trays for a good celebratory cigar?
Oh, you have not had a cigar in forever.
No, I've been waiting.
We've been very busy.
I needed something to celebrate.
I want to smell the sweet stink of a cigar, little fang.
I looked at Dr. Zirk.
Like I look at Patel, and I looked at Dr. Zirk
and I say, is it okay if I smoke around her?
I think she's probably.
I think she's probably.
Medical opinion.
I mean, medically speaking, no.
But it seems like she's pretty used to it, and honestly, yeah, it might help lead her
back to life.
So guys in my mouth already have way of action.
Well, let's go.
I'm noticing a lot of the children are smoking and drinking.
Is that okay?
Yes.
We age a little slower.
Those children are 50 years old
Understand I took my hat at them
You see a couple of kids smoking cigars. Hey, you got a fucking problem, buddy. You're wearing a diaper
Cheers little guy or big guy old guy. What did you what the fuck?
Just say forgive my friend. Yes, Shank what you say to that kid? This gang of youngsters, um, surround you?
Hey, hope you don't hit your head on any fucking, uh, low beams.
Tall guy?
I didn't say my shadow.
It was my shadow.
This guy said, this guy said, this guy said, this guy said, this guy said, this guy said,
what's the weather like up there?
Haha!
I call you a tall glass of water, but you don't look healthy.
Maybe a tall glass of cola, but you don't look healthy. Maybe a tall glass of cola, huh?
Okay, huh?
Alright, ha, hearty, ha, ha, alright, very funny.
It's because you're bubbly, they sense your bubbly personality.
Henry, you're shaking. Why is your fist shaking?
No, I can't be sensitive. You'll know about this stuff.
Alright, get the fuck out of here, kids.
You see the bus car? You all said them?
Yes, Graham. Just wait until you ain't around lusk, Grah
We'll see what happens to you then
Okay
Yeah, you come find me
You come find me around the Yedi's
Around the Yedi meets Dan, alright?
I'll come find you if I need anybody to reach anything
On a super high shelf
The shortest one of the three of us
You should probably come to me I am the tallest
And I've got long limbs
They start kind of laughing amongst each other and they go. Hey, it's all you have to do a duck to get in the doorway
There and long limbs
Tops you fear what well. Maybe I was bowing out of respect. You could show some respect yourself
I'm not worth the fee I flash my tusks
Ometergy to make them sparkle. You're dropping Matilda.
Go ahead and give you a intimidation check for you.
Oh, can I help with the intimidation?
By just, I'll grab Fia's arm and act like she's done
this too many times.
Yeah, yeah.
Not again, we've been kicked out of too many towns.
We've helped by a world in eight and a seven,
so eight minus one is seven.
Ha, ha, ha.
You see, this kid flashes his very large tusks and it takes a sip.
Oh shit, they're very tall.
I'm a bit of a thick fear.
I've been out tusked.
You see Luscar walks up to his mother for a second.
You see he grabs a key from her and kind of motions for you guys to follow him upstairs.
You guys go upstairs you see there are a few rooms on both sides of the hall.
Lusgar uses a key on one of them and opens it and you find a simple room.
You see a gray stone floor with a white fur rug. You see a small fireplace, a large
bed with animal fur blankets. You see some furniture. You see a small chest to like your items away, and a window that overlooks the town. And Fia, you're
able to set Batilda down here. And you see Luscarar goes,
Is there anything else you'll need? I can have them send up some food in
ale for you if you'd rather take your dinner here with her or...
I will have to, I will stay with Batilda but you can both go do whatever you need.
No, I need to be here to monitor her vitals. I want to make sure that she's recovering at pace.
I will take a tall dark, although as I said before and one for Batilda as well.
Yeah, make that three. I'm not going anywhere.
Luscar gives you guys a little nod and leaves.
You guys see a few minutes later a servant brings up
Trays of food in ale. There are these like cave delicacies
They actually look quite good kind of big-shelled creatures with lots of meat inside kind of looks like lobster
They are almost
Almost like a bad bitch. I will inside kind of looks like lobster. They are almost. Fia. They're almost like game mollusks.
I'm bad, this.
I will subsist to an enthusiasm for a moment.
You, I must ask, do you have anything
with an internal vertebrate system?
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man.
Most people don't care well.
You see, you leaves.
You see, Batilda is lying in the this bed, stirring a little fitful.
You see bookvar is attempting to make tea as an octopus.
You see he like blows over to the fire place.
Bookvar, maybe it's time we put on our favorite outfit again.
And I do find familiar to turn him into a book
again. He turns back into a book. This will be much easier, Miss. You see he starts flapping
while holding a teapot and starts trying to a lint of fire.
How water going everywhere. Vodka, everyone. It's a very hot. The octopus should have
been better suited for this. Yeah, you could have steeped eight cups.
This section's though are unpredictable.
Oh, that's a good point.
I think as I see, the tilde is feed full.
I take out my hand and I put it over a drink that has been brought in
and I cast ceremony holy water.
I want to put some trickster mischief into this to try to nurse her a bit and give it to her because I just you know to have I have
So little to help. This is what I have to help. You know, we can also put some cave bug meat in there if you want
It's very nourishing Henry's just sucking the cloth
Yeah, after saying he wouldn't
Delay gives it Henry. I am hungry. I angle the cup away from Mr. Henry.
More cloth than me.
You do this little ceremony on this ale.
You feed it to Batilda.
You see, she starts to come.
Yes, maybe with a little spoon like medicine.
Feed ale to Batilda with a spoon.
You see, she drinks it happily.
You see, she kind of opens her eyes slowly and she goes
Hmm ale and cigars
Feels like home doesn't it little thing?
Well, I had to bring you back somehow, but till the are you well enough to speak first off?
I have your blade and I give her the crescent blade it got got into the wrong hands, but I took it back and it is yours again.
You see, you've kind of just like laid it on her bed.
She's not really like moving around a lot.
She just kind of like nods and she goes,
well, it looks like it found its way into some good hands.
Yes, but you know, there are better hands
that are looking pretty healthy right now.
You see, because you are too kind to my extremely
unhealthy hands.
I jam three IVs into your hands.
How?
You can do that more gently, certainly.
I'm working on it.
I believe we are in need of introduction.
I am Batilda the Blade, Guardian of the Grove,
and Witch of the Woods, Little Fang, who are your companions?
I am so sorry.
I did not introduce.
I'm so sorry.
Batilda, this is Mr. Henry.
He is my swimming instructor.
That's right.
Third mate of the SS scampy as well.
At your service.
Yes, and he is a great sailor, and he is cursed.
But with a shadow, who is more cursed than he?
Yeah, that's right.
Ah, kid, I kid.
There's no being in my book.
There's no B.
I ate that one.
I didn't think you wanted that one.
Ah!
And his name is Shank.
And then this is Dr. Zurk.
And he is a great worker of health and medicine.
And he carries with him a little creature named Spritell.
Yes.
It's very nice to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Kinley and Via have told us so much about you and your order and we're
just really glad that we can help.
Yes, perhaps it would feel good to know that little introduction is necessary from you
because I have done this already in your name.
We've heard amazing things.
Yeah, you got a really cool train car by the way.
Thank you. You've really cool train car by the way. Oh, I hope it is okay
In the past eight years I have had several guests including the delivery of a wolf pup
Where wolf of course, we saw the stain
Already Randy finally settled down, did he? Yes, that's wonderful. Yes, I would hope little fang that you would have guests
over eight years eight years I was
Locked away. Is that right and yes, and I also want to say I am sorry that I didn't come look for you
It it just I did not know if you even wanted to be found it
It felt lucky that you even chose me at first
So I didn't want to to push it or anything if I had known your own trouble
I would have gathered whatever girl courage I could to come find you.
You see, she holds her hand up, she goes, little fang, we're together now, you saved me, that's what's important.
Now, you say you've spoken to Kenley, it seems it seems like you've put together a
lot of the dots on your own. You've learned more about the order than I ever
taught you. I did plan on teaching you about it someday, but you were just a young
girl when I left. I take out the book, the Guardians of the Grove book. We have
had this in our employee. Well, it has been eight years. You might know more than
me about some things. Why don't you tell me and fill me in. We know that someone, the prophet Kane,
I think he is called, or maybe you just knew him as Kane, we know that he betrayed you.
All wins showed us a sort of blue ray.
Yeah, because it was blue, blue rays.
That's it, yes.
Of course, blue, magic rays.
Blue rays, yes.
Sort of something, project something.
Crystal clear image.
So you guys generally fill her in on your adventure so far.
Unless there's anything you guys want to hide or anything.
Is there anything you guys want to hide from her
or do you just kind of feel-
I had nothing.
You had nothing.
We are open bookvars.
I think what are spilling out of my mouth
and I cannot gather them back in
because I am just excited to speak to Patil.
You see, hearing back your guys story
in your adventure so far, the two things
that kind of shock her the most are that Kane has come back
is something that she did not know.
And then she's also surprised, but heartened
to know that you guys know about arena and serenesis
because this was her job and she's been out for eight years.
So she might have thought that.
She had been taken in that time, so she's relieved.
Well, now that we've found you,
we do have a few questions for you as well,
if that's all right.
Of course.
One of the reasons that we were tasked with finding you
is because you're the only person
that knows potentially the location of Cerenesis.
Do you have any leads for us?
That was actually why we called the meeting in the first place, the one you saw on Blu-ray.
Until recently, or until eight years ago, most of the other blades did not know about
Sarenesis and her multiple reincarnations.
To protect her secrecy, and keep her safe, there was always only one blade and one smith
who knew about it, and that was me and my mentor, the vampire Lord Braden Kenley. Great guy.
Great guy.
However, Sarenesis points to Fia.
Fia, you would know her as arena.
Arena.
Had just recently gone on the run again after escaping another attempt on her life.
And this time, I was having trouble tracking her down.
Kenley and I called a meeting of the rest of the plates to present our predicaments, perhaps
not necessarily planning on giving all of the details to protect Sarones' identity,
but just enough to stress the importance that we find this girl before the Reaper folk
do.
But as we were telling everyone, our ally, Kane, revealed that he knew all about Sarenesis.
He revealed to the rest of the blades our secret.
He even knew things that I didn't know.
That apparently the Reaper was aware of Sarenesis and had locked the gates
of Revery until she was hunted down, so effectively no soul could ascend to heaven.
Most of the blades felt betrayed by us, but Cain took it a step further. He said he'd learned everything from a prophet of the Reaper, a sorceress
named Maksora. This Maksora suddenly appeared at the meeting and offered us a deal. Join
the Reaper's cause, hunt Cerenesis, and we'd be on a clean slate with the Reaper. No more being locked out of heaven.
Now, the blades were plenty mad at me and canley for withholding information, but joining
the Reaper wasn't an option.
We refused.
Moxora said that we would change our minds eventually, maybe even when we met the Reaper
in death.
Then she summoned some constructs, and with the help of Kane, managed to cut down most
of my friends right in front of me.
I'm heartened to hear that, Lord Kenley was able to survive.
Anyway, Kane and I ended up having a knockdown dragout fight throughout the temple. He disarmed me and I lost my sword, but I managed to get
him with a dagger in the eye.
Allwyn found me bleeding out near the secret door at the bottom of the temple, and that's
the last thing I remember.
I'm so upset that that fight wasn't captured on Blu-ray. I bet it would have been a really
cool single shot tracking thing that would have really been sick.
Yeah.
I would ace that up.
And Owen moved to not show the ending
to just have some kind of artsy thing
where it just kind of left up to interpretation, right?
Where you have to assume for yourself, but some people
don't have imagination, you know?
Where was Maxora from?
What do you know about this
Maxora? It would seem as if she was the corrupting factor and the guardians
betrayal. You see she shrugs and she goes if I had information about her I would
have been more prepared for the the ray meeting, as it were.
What do you think we do?
Do we go, do we search for arena or do we go to the source of the problem and try to find
Maxora?
Or do we kind of just be like, you know, this is as far as we go, the blade's got it from
here.
Hand goes back to being a clerk.
I think I should search for Arena. I want to find her.
I think Little Fang's got the right of it. Now, if Kenley thinks
Arena and Sarenesis is still alive, there is a chance she has come into her powers
and maybe able to help us as much as we can help her.
Okay, so we need arena.
You see she nods and she goes arena was able to mask her identity in some way where even
I was having trouble tracking her down.
Now currently I am still the best person to help track her down even though I may not have a lot of leads at this point.
Much like the way you feel an attachment and my age, I was considering retiring
at some point. I believe at this point my knowledge is more helpful than any fighting
I could do, although I am still quite capable. But I do think it's important to follow
in Kenley's footsteps and do my best to prepare
the next generation.
Yes, of course.
Fia, I would like to pass my blade on to you officially.
And she gestures to the rest of you guys, and she goes, and to welcome all of you into
the Guardians.
I can say that Fia is a great choice.
Yes, we will vouch for Fia.
Raw athletic talent there is, it's on par a lot.
Not all about just being athletic.
What about would the two of you not take the oath?
Hey, I take the oath.
I'm just a full disclosure.
I've been cursed by, I believe, a Males fairy.
So, I don't know if you...
You don't know if you...
You don't know, yeah?
So, we're 100% certain it was Moria.
Are you growing a shell or something?
I inspect the shank for Barnaby.
I would say you are incredibly forthcoming,
and so I do not think that there is a motionless shell on you.
coming. And so I do not think that there is a motionless shell on you. Anyway, often when a blade gets to retirement, they can become a smith. Would the three of you accept
me as your smith? That I can know. Gladly. But till that, I would be your blade, but I don't know if I should use your blade.
I think that you deserve to retire with your trusty sword at your hip.
Would it not feel good to have it in it at your side at all times?
Fia, you are my blade.
This is your blade.
You see, she picks it up and hands it to you.
Would you accept me as your smith?
She has eyes dark back and forth between the sword and Patilda and reaches out so slowly
and then grabs it really white not will good then let's take the oath
you see she
In a paint grown
Rips the blanket off of her and like gingerly she still paint kind of like hops up and goes
I think as I see this it doesn't even make me think that she's like out of sorts
because I'm used to her just like grumbling and complaining and being like.
Right.
Book for where are we on that tea?
I'm trying this. I'm getting used to being a book again.
You see, he's fully on fire.
How? Why?
I toss him bending over my shoulder.
He's able to get it.
You see, she takes a cup of tea, grabs a piece of chalk from her pack, and heads to Fien
goes, Fien, be a deer, and make a little circle in the center of the room.
I sprint around and circle it so many times.
It's perfect. It's a blur. We are in the eye of the room. I sprint around and circle it so many times. It's perfect.
Whoa, it's a blur.
We are in the eye of the storm.
This is a perfect circle.
I measured it.
The circumference is absolutely flawless.
How did you do that?
I have red geometry.
She flicks her wrist and with a magical can trip,
lights a bunch of candles around the room.
You see, she holds her hand out to you, Fian.
And she goes, I know I just gave you the blade, but may I borrow it for a moment.
Get yours, of course.
You see, she takes the blade back, and she goes, alright, now everyone take a knee in the circle.
Gladly.
I take two.
That means you. I don't know if I'm taking the circle. Gladly. I take two. That means you.
I don't know if I'm taking the oath.
He doesn't.
And necessarily have to do it.
Bookmark getting here.
Can book for a Beyblade?
I ask too much.
Forget it.
For ten, I never ask.
I know.
Yeah, bookmark and sort of Beyblade, sure.
I'm coming.
I'm just getting a little towel to put down under my knee.
If that's okay.
You guys all take a any in the circle.
She puts the blade on Fiya's shoulder kind of like she's nighting her and then moves it to each
of you guys as she does a reading. You see she pulls out a little book from her pack
and begins reading and you guys feel like this is like a spell, this is like a ceremony. You see even like, Sprite will begin to like whip around it in the way that they would during like a fairy promise.
But till to speak and goes.
I am the Smith that crafts the blade.
You are my ward, my iron, forged in fire, turned to steel to protect ideals fragile beautiful things
Warriors of whimsy arcane assassins unseen the tricksters mind and soul made whole by your human heart
You see she moves the book kind of to the side and smiles and goes
Now say this next part back to me, but replace the eyes with use, and the use with eyes,
you'll get it. Zerks sweats. She continues. She continues.
You hear the loud crunch of shank in the background, eating a cave monster. She continues and goes,
I am the Smith that crafts the blade.
You are the blade that hunts the horror.
You are the Smith that crafts the blade.
I am the blade that hunts the horror.
I am the blade that hunts the horror.
I am the blade that hunts the horror.
I feel like you two are just repeating the last thing I said.
Okay.
It's hard.
I could just try it one more time.
It's okay to not get it right the first time.
Okay.
I am the Smith that crafts the blade.
You are the blade that hunts the horror.
You are the Smith that crafts the blade.
I am the blade that hunts the horror.
You see she nods and she goes, and it is a good day to begin the hunt.
You see she closes the book with a smack and suddenly all of the candles in the room
turn green.
You guys see the chalk filled circle in the stone floor.
Suddenly grows lush with grass, like a small grove appearing in the circle.
And you guys see a small leafy green tree appears.
You guys kneel in its shade
as you feel a magic blessing rain down on you from above.
All of your guys' weapons are now plus one and magical
and have hidden abilities.
Fuck yeah.
That will reveal later.
What?
What?
Fiya, you see Batilda hands her sword to you and when you touch it
You feel
Kind of like you do when you hold book far you feel like closer to arena
You feel her magic and you can tell that now you
Have become the protector of serenesis And that's where we'll end our session.
Oh!
Oh!
Shit!
Yeah, it's official.
You're a ward.
We did it!
Wow!
Somebody recognized us.
Wow, the third mate's got promoted.
Oh, wow.
Gosh, man, that was incredible.
I can't believe we almost died multiple times.
That's true. Yeah, that's true. None of this would have happened if Fia had one less
age pace. Jesus Christ. Yes. Oh my God. It's important to roll good on those
hit dice everybody. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I got thorns and roses to discuss. Yes.
Toronto. You can hear us talk about all of that. Talk about the show over on our
patreon patreon.com slash nad pod.
That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing yet.
We, you, I, are the blades.
I don't know.
Does anybody have anything they would like to plug?
Yeah, I would plug the episode I just did of three black highlights.
I believe them on this week's episode.
So check that out.
Coltville has been on an episode. Lou's been on there. They're coming for you. I'm sure you are this week's episode. So check that out. Coltville has been on an episode.
Lou's been on there.
They're coming for you.
I'm sure you're off and checking them out.
That's right.
That's right.
Looking forward to it.
Sweet, check out three black halflings.
You'll see Jake on there.
Anybody else have anything to plug?
I would love to very quickly plug just all the nice notes
we've gotten at the PO box over the past few months.
I've been kind of like saving them up
and I'm just gonna read through them all
in a quick blast here, a quick blast cast calorie.
Last name with kind notes.
Here we go.
Nice notes came in from Kira said the dog mushroom,
Bay from New York, Kayla and Ottawa,
Christina in New England, Adam G in Japan.
Wow, which we could visit there.
I'll come thank you in person.
Yes, Steven L.
in Florida, good luck putting your aerospace engineering degree to use Lizzie, who's
also spread the joy of D&D to friends in South Korea. A postcard, a book, Adam's cosmic curious
cafe from Haley D, Abigail Alex and Margot, Margot who just turned one and a half by the way, congrats baby.
Love babies, love babies now. I'm all about babies. I got a Silla postcard from Sarah. Good
luck finishing up your masters Tobias who sent Emily some sigils to use for extra
good dice rolling. God have your sigils. I did crib today on an attack and that is truly
the best crit feeling ever
thank you to bias
was it a sigils
uh... nisteria who sent along some cute dino stickers and then also a couple of
save the dates
uh... we got one from allie and tyler new jersey bethany and daniel and illinois
elisha and kale of the west virginia
Elizabeth and adam in california and andreah and dominic and north carolina as
well as aren and mark who in an Carolina, as well as Aaron and Mark,
who in an attached note said that they thought
that I was the hot one of the group,
and this has gone to my head immediately.
Thank you very much, Aaron and Mark.
Okay, I'm gonna weigh in and say
that hurts my feelings.
But I do like the spray tan that you showed up with.
That looks cool.
And you got your teeth bleached.
It's a it's a jarring.
It's an unnatural shade of white for sure.
It's like so white.
It's green.
It's weird.
Yeah, 1920, Hill or seven.
No, number two to two.
Loosefully, California at 90027.
Thanks again for sending us stuff.
Sweet big ups to your nubs, everybody.
Big ups to your nubs.
Big ups to your nubs.
And one more thing to plug.
Next week, we will be doing a Trinnyville one shot.
Oh, that's right.
You're required.
It's fun.
It's very funny.
The triplets are truly awful.
They're essentially bad guys now. They're awesome. It's fun. It's very funny. Triplets are truly awful.
Essentially bad guys now.
They're, we saved the world.
We're allowed to be bad guys now.
It's so fucking fun to not have to play a good person.
Yeah, a lot of pieces of shit.
Yeah, pieces of shit.
Yeah, a bit easier than ever.
But yes, this was a five Thursday month.
So we decided to do a little special for the, thick Thursday a five Thursday month, so we decided to do a special for the end of
the month.
So next week, we will have an episode of TriniVale, end of the month.
Last Thursday, we will have a D&D course to be on the lookout for that.
And then in May, we'll be back with Eldermore and picking up from here.
You can follow us on social media and various platforms that we don't use.
At CH Murf is me. At Caldys Caldwell, Atty Axard, Demaly, and Atchaker, which is Jake.
You can tweet about the show using hashtag, NADPod, that's NADDPOD.
We are we are the youth of the nation. We are we are the youth of the nation.
It's the end of the show everyone and you know what that means. We simply must shut out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S,
Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker and Matt M. D&D players who sacrificed not 20s from
their own games to help the third mates Womp all win the Sullen.
We owe each of you a summoning kazoo for your service.
Jordan DJ, Cutter W, JavG, Zolo Zolo, and Dylan B. Deep Folk Brewers who created a stout beer so thick and dark that it accidentally turned
into a light, swallowing miniature black hole.
Looks like Vee is got her hands full.
Shoeburt the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M Beardman Dan, and Scott D, the
hairstyles in charge of making sure all when the Sullen's signature, Suwup, is perfectly maintained.
Right after they finish, all when we freezes them so that he never has to leave a tip.
Rude.
Danny P. Mixologist Michael McD.
Victor T. Balnor's boy.
Andrew B. and Kevin S.
People who bought Vervein brand fireworks for their children. Luckily everyone survived, but Andrew B. did get 1D 4 degree burns on both their hands.
Justin I. Nicholas T. Ragnar. Petter Dwind. T.J. M. The Nome Barbarian. Alena M. and Trayle the
Cray-Fay. All win the Solens' speech writers. They prepared over 300 different one-liners for every possible
outcome of the fight, 90% of which were ice puns, while the other 10% were just straight
up stolen follow-up boy lyrics.
Jared E. Austin Bonesaw MR. Damien R. And cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, teachers at the
deep folk gambling hall slash elementary school who
just found out that due to budget cuts, they're also a dog racing track now.
Wow.
Octo Litch, Gage M, Richard X Machina, Michael L, and Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakurai Sdei
Sakwani, fairy judges who watched Henry's ice skating performance.
However, instead of giving him numerical ratings, they all got together and wrote out,
tuck in your nuts, please, instead.
Trash the traveler, Sir Carl, Jury S. Dana G. Azalth Shadows, Calum M. and Ryan, followers
of Zail, the fairy lord of storms.
They can summon gusts of wind at will and ride lightning as if it were horses.
Despite all of this, they wield only a fraction of the power, influence and shrimp enjoyed
by the followers of Moria.
Jack L.
Flaulis Whale.
Temporal.
Sam L.
Nicholas C.
And Reese and S. Founders of the Fourth of Vervein!
It's a holiday that the Vervein Corporation is trying to make happen where everyone gets
together lights a bunch of dynamite and watches the explosions.
So far, it hasn't caught on.
Samuel B, Mike H, Matthew E, Colton B, Adam G. and Mateo C. A squad of figure skating
octopi that were eyeing Bookfar after his smaffire performance but have since crossed
his name off their recruiting list.
Nibbadger, Panama James, Cummins the Bard, Adrian the Haffling Bard, and Dan.
The makers of Cave Sigars.
The only cigars meant to be smoked in poorly ventilated underground locations.
Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty, C.C. Lulu, and Jay.
The hosts of Cave Creature Cookoff, the beloved television show in which deep folk compete
to whip up
the tastiest cave creature creations.
Having five hosts seems like a lot, you might say, and you'd be right.
Barnes & Aitor, Michelle O.
Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Croc-Waring Warrior, and Lucas B. The only five people to ever
collect all 23 Zell-baldar postcards.
Lasgras didn't mention them because their names are so hallowed that even to whisper them
aloud is blasphemy.
Aaron S. Kevin M. Hogfishes above average hog.
New York and Steven C. The deep folk that heated Sianna's warning about the earthquake, but
not in the way she intended, they actually stayed right where they were, but started an
earthquake retrofitting company and other rich.
KJ, Michael M, Raoul N, Mike K, Maxwell C, and Karen J. All the previous wards of the
previous incarnations of Sirenesis, who, if they all
met, would probably pathetically squabble for Syrinesis's attention for your worst of all.
Justin Raccoon, Nick W. Matthew R. Esmi M. and Spartagnus.
The Deep Folk Public Works Department, which has gone to great lengths to distinguish their sewage pneumatic tubes from their male pneumatic tubes.
But still, every day is defied by misbehaving deep folk youngins.
Nathan, Kazamere, they all knowin' Big Bed, Birdle the Mad, Eric M and Jack Mayhoff, members
of Owens Pop Punk Band. Right now they just have a bunch of poetry
and are currently looking for their Patrick Stump. Burle T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius, Caesar, Augustus,
Germanicus, Christian A, and J Dragonborn. Temple explorers who were frozen by Allwyn on purpose.
They've requested to be thought as soon as the emo sideswoop hairstyles come back into
fashion.
Joral, the inner pro pro, Liam D, the sandrion, Ben A, Faldonis, and Dave H. Lusgrars
invisible spotters.
They help him perform great feats of strength without ruining any of his mystique.
Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Keith K. Kyle H. The Time Walker.
And Emilio D. Deep folk, with terrible senses of direction, they haven't been able to make
it back to the outpost in months. They're currently wandering around in the mountains just
shouting, blood from stone at every rock.
Frankie Koala, big bad John,
Aston S, Blair the Boke, Blair Barbarian,
and Pork Chop.
Ranch hands.
No, they aren't hired hands that help out on a ranch,
but rather hired hands that help out ranch while he works on a ranch.
It's not confusing, you shouldn't say that it is.
Chanel M. Alice, Minette F. Pat L. A Choutha A. and Lauren H. Music critics who have slammed
all winds terrible lyrics, they have been frozen and will not be thought until they quote, remember it better.
Joshua D. A. K. A. Elias Hawthorn, Maddy Y, Alex H., The eldest Barry, Ryan S. and The
Bone Duster, Paladins of Moria, stricken with a terrible curse. They all have a shellfish allergy. Joshua H. Ruben Crisp
Idrasil
Brentley C.
Micah B.
and
Ploups
A wedding party who booked the temple of the Guardians for their ceremony,
they chose the path of the summer fairy and let's just say the wedding night was red hot
because Callista said everyone on fire.
Carly Ann
Connor Savage Russell H. Christopher J.O, Logan S, Leviathan, and Demi A, a group of
emo deep folks who go to every Owen the Solon show, but so far, Owen's Patrick Stump has never
shown up, and Owen just reads his poetry over a badly timed bass riff. Bioquart 7.
Kenny.
Remington CD.
Ember K.
And Everett P.
Collectors of novelty snow globes from Eldermorn, but after hearing what Owen does, they're
slightly concerned.
Are those real people in there?
Trub.
Hop.
Dropper.
K.
So say. Jesse DLR, Lindsay W, Champ Wild, and Valon.
Choreographers bringing the story of octopus bookfar on ice to life.
So far about four skaters have been injured in the 8-legged ice skate costume, but that's no reason to give up.
Sprite Pepsi, Carlin C, Anthony S, Sally S. And Tristan C. The Goose.
50-year-old deep-voke children who learn math by gambling at school.
They also learn PE by having drunken barfights.
It's awesome.
Jake.
Emily S. The new Petty King of Out of Borosessi.
Matthew J.
Scrip the Scripper.
I actually made that one crazier.
Scrip Scripper.
And Zane C.
Cooks who operate the Yeti spit.
The meat is perfectly seasoned, slow roasted, meticulously carved, and they are not having
any of Hank asking them for a hot dog.
Thank you.
Michael S. The Bone Duster.
Noah.
Wyatt B.
Lwile Thor-er-er.
Rogue Cree.
And Daniel N.
Waiters at Earthen Ale who have learned to read lips as it's impossible to hear over the
non-stop drumming.
They wouldn't have it any other way though.
Sam N.
Joseph H. David S. Mr. Dude's Guy.
Conflicted DM. And Justin LB.
An eldermore Olympic volleyball team who are obsessed with recruiting Fia so they can harness her raw athletic ability to win this summer.
Conor P. Dandy. Jennifer R. Clifton A. Reverend Chatterbones, and Richard G. All tied for the record
of eating the most cave creatures at Earth and Ale. So far, the record is won, so we'll see
if Shane can beat it. That's all. Thank you all. We love you. Y'all are so good to us.
Goodbye, Sweeties. That was a hit-yum podcast.
All we love you, y'all are so good to us.
Goodbye, Sweeties.
That was a hit-yum podcast.