Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 21: The Crux
Episode Date: May 7, 2021The Third Mates learn about some strange happenings under the mountain from Losgrar, then venture off to investigate. Fia gets a scare, Zirk gets in deep, and Henry gets some disturbing news.... Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."Zirk" by Emily Axford."Henry" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."Friend for Life" by Emily Axford."Baroness" by Emily Axford."Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford."Cursed" by Emily Axford."Soul Coins" by Emily Axford."Into the Planar Pool" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody!
Elder Morn!
I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz.
Fed up with the reaping.
This oath, I am keeping Henry Hockfish.
Pretty good.
That of course, Emily Axford.
Blade of Betild, who cannot be killed!
Wow! That's true! That's kind of dry! Blade of the till who cannot be killed
True that's
Do not challenge me she said in the intro you can't do anything I will kill all of you
Knock on wood everyone you keep saying that at the top of the show, and I think he means it speaking of
imminently dead characters or players playing dead characters.
Oh, the old Tanner.
Oh, father of a sprite who stays up all night to make potions.
That delight.
It's Cirque for Vane.
Ooh.
And he will live forever.
And also he can be killed.
Cirque, he immortal for Vane.
No one can die.
Actually Henry kind of keeps on coming back.
That is kind of true.
Pushes Lesnar off a cliff.
He he he he. Lesnar off a cliff. Ha ha ha.
Lesnar can do nothing but shrivel under Zerks.
Insane strength score.
Impossible.
I've been hiding it.
Yeah, Zerks wearing a weighted jacket.
Let's go ahead and do a little recap.
So last time you guys faced Owen the Sullen
as you attempted to flee the temple of the guardians. During an intense face-off
with the winter wence himself, Pia was down to one HP, very much not invincible. The others were
frozen, even less invincible. It's because of that that I know I could be like that. He could definitely
live forever frozen, but still alive. He kept up to one hit point and I survived true
But Fia did manage to finish him off and dispel the ice
The three of you then crashed into the cave river and began
Correening towards a waterfall before being saved by Lusgrar and his crew
Seeing the injured Batilda Lusgrar led you to a nearby deep folk outpost called
Zellboldar 7, one of dozens of outposts named after their great lost city. After asking
about the infrastructure and getting into an argument with some children, you brought
Batilda. They started it. They did kind of start it. You brought Patilda to a bed at the Earth and Ale Tavern where she began to rest.
After recovering a bit, Patilda told you her side of the story that Moxora, the Sorceress,
with the help of Kane, had wiped out most of the blades in the temple during a contentious
meeting eight years ago.
Patilda confessed that she had planned to retire as a blade but offered to take
you on as her pupils, you three the blades and she the smith. After speaking the words
and performing a ritual, you were blessed with magic power and Fiya in particular felt
a closer bond to arena, the reincarnation of a god.
I am Heter Knight. Fiya has now taken up Batilda's helm
as the guardian of Cerenesis,
and that's where you are now.
Ooh, love it.
So you guys have just received this blessing.
You feel powerful magic surging through you.
There are green flicks of arcane energy hovering
around your weapons.
They're now plus one.
Oh boy.
And the party has leveled up to level six.
Yeah.
Zirk tries to lick the flame.
You take six damage.
I'm dead.
You guys see Zirk drops.
You see Patilda goes, why?
What?
Why did he do that?
You did one thing I know.
It must have been for a truly awesome purpose.
You see, Zirk underspressed says,
looks like green apple.
You see Zirk just twitching on the ground
and Spritele goes, I felt his desire to lick it.
He just wanted to lick fire for some reason.
Maybe you should be the dad's bridal.
Patilda just kind of looks down at Zurich.
Just passed out on the ground and goes,
well, I guess it's too late.
He's already taken the words.
I suppose two and a half blades is better than two.
I am sure he'll find some more interesting hobbies
along the way.
Actually, if Zurich is going to pass out in such fashion,
I might as well do something that might also make me pass out.
I look at Betille and I say,
you likely might need some sort of help to get back.
So I want to try to learn a spell for you and I take out Volk and I go to a page about
Volk.
I'm here.
Volk just starts biting at Fia, starts wrestling around, but Tilda goes, oh, Volk.
Okay, I need to see the page with Phantom Steed.
Get over here.
Great.
So go ahead and make an intelligence saving throw to try to learn Phantom Steed.
Meanwhile, Zirk, yes, I'll say a Spritell stabilizes you.
Right, I was about to do that Spritell.
Thank you.
18 on the dice.
Beautiful.
Plus 422.
You pass, it's gonna take you the night to learn it.
Like you're gonna need to like study a bit.
But you pull out folk, you're able to wrestle him.
And Batilda shakes her head and goes, right to work.
I've got one of my pupils licking fire
and passing out on the ground,
nearly killing himself or just no apparent reason.
And another one.
You don't know the principles and the powers
of a substance until you try it
and who better to vouch for it than your own personal self.
That's what I always say.
I could have told you if you wanted to,
I could have told you not to lick the fire. Yes. I would have just given you the say. I could have told you if you wanted to, I could have told you not to lick the fire.
Yes. I would have just given you the info. You could have told me, but could you have told me with full confidence and truth.
I agree with Henry here. This is less of a smith to blade lesson and more of just a general parenting lesson.
So someone at some point should have told you not to touch fire, especially with your tongue.
Again, if you knew my mom, you'd know that that is simply not true.
Very well.
You know, I'm still feeling a little light-headed.
Fia, would you be a deer and help me over to the bed?
Of course.
I like cradle her too much, like you do with your parents when they start to get older.
You're just like helping her a little too much.
Alright, come on, girl. Don't walk for me. Look at food like helping her a little too much. All right, come on, girl.
Don't walk for me, come on.
Loosen up a little bit.
Loosen up a little bit.
No, don't touch my-
And I'd break your head.
No, literally lifting the feet off of the floor.
Lifting the feet off the floor, I need to use
like a crutch, not like-
This pillow that give you it's so hard,
I pummel it to be softer.
But Tilda goes over to the bed.
She puts the pillow behind her, kind of sits propped up.
And she talks to you guys, sounding kind of weak,
looking like kind of pale.
You'll get more training when I feel better.
Now, normally a Smith will train a blade
from a younger age, but it seems like you've all learned
most of the early lessons on your own.
Just looks away from Sirk.
Just directly looking at Henry and Fia.
Sirk is staring at one of the crustacean shells and kind of trying to dipping his finger into its blood.
Why is the crustacean bleeding?
Morah!
We did not do this!
What have we done?
I see, Patilda goes,
for now, the most helpful thing I'll be able to do for you is to offer you advice and guidance.
You see, she motions to your Guardians of the Grove book, Fia?
It is yours. Everything is yours. Even I.
It is yours now, little thing.
For borrowing, I will...
Stop, please.
First two lessons.
Take the damn book, take the damn sword.
And just don't lick it.
You, try not to lick it, sir.
Yeah, you see she points to Henry.
Number one student right now.
Fia, you need to learn to take the damn sword.
I put your pillow.
And, sir, you need to learn learn not like fire, Goddamn it.
Okay, right, use a Q-tip and then put it in a vial
and then lick it later, I gotcha.
You see, yeah, Fiya, you're very much reminded
of kind of like the crotchety Batilda
that you used to just like groan and walk around
the train car and completely.
And about that.
Usually she reserved this sort of acidity
for the books which were misbehaving,
but now it is turned on me.
She flips through the Guardians of the Grove book and you see she pulls up the section on the Smiths. See there's an empty page with like a beautiful inked
frame around it and at the bottom of the page is a quote in Sylvan and it says
I am the blade who hunts the horror. If you say those words, those are the code words,
I'll be able to hear it.
And when I complete it, when I say,
and I am the Smith who crafts the blade,
I will be able to appear in the book.
And I can offer my insight as best I can.
You'll be able to summon me about once a day with this.
So we can literally page you.
Wow, you can quite literally page you. Wow.
You can quite literally page me.
Oh, oh!
This was quite clever.
I, I, I, I literally some fires still on your tongue for this one.
Henry applaud his claw hands at you.
Zerks noseblees.
I like golf clap, clicking on phone.
Just the claw.
This type of fire is good.
You have so much to teach us.
Enough for the nights. I type of fire is good. You have so much to teach us.
Enough for the night.
I'm not feeling great.
I'll need a few days hold up here.
But for now, we should all get some rest.
Considering Zirk just died from touching his gun.
Yeah.
Because I am quite sick or ill or no, no, no, quite weak.
I am quite weak.
Yeah, I think after about four hours of reading
and experimenting, I'll be ready to just hit the hay.
You see, she nods, closes her eyes
and kind of just smiles, quickly drifts off to sleep.
You guys have, there's a couple like Murphy beds,
literally in the walls here kind of tucked away.
I don't get it.
Revose her.
Yes. They have glasses and it. Robose, sir. Yes.
They have glasses and they're super smart and cool.
I go make love to love.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Shake one's hand.
I lick one.
Henry drops.
What the hell?
Boys in bed.
You guys find these beds that are tucked away here.
Is there anything you guys want to do before you go to sleep?
Fia, you spend a little time, you learn Phantom Steed.
Nice.
I learn Phantom Steed and I have a little something I want to ask from Matilda, but it's selfish.
So I have a little cantrip that I can put my thought into a little-
The brain spaghetti?
I can turn it into a little ribbon of my thought and leave it
at her side so she can see it, you know.
Oh, that's very cute.
So yeah, you, um, you pull out a string of brain spaghetti,
one arcane strand that you put in a little glass bottle,
you put it right by the nightstand at the edge of the bed.
There's kind of this, um, dare I say, one nightstand at the edge of the bed. There's kind of this dare I say one big bed
in the corner of the room that Patil does in.
And then there's like a couple of other Murphy beds
and cots around the room.
Zerks stays up for a bit and tinkers with his gun
and then wanders out into the street
to see if any of the youngsters can show him
a place to go shoot bottles
because he wants to test it out.
Sure.
Zerks, you go outside.
You see a couple of the youngsters from before Henry opens a window to try to witness this
from home.
Hello youths.
I'm like cuddled up with Volk like he's a little puppy.
I'll tell her in the morning. You look out the window,
Cirque has walked outside,
and I said hello youths
to a couple of kids hanging out
outside of the tavern.
Cirque recognizes them as like the trouble makers
that kind of got into it with you guys before
when you entered the bar.
Oh hey there, tall guy.
What can I do for you?
You need help squeezing into something,
reaching into like a really small area that you can't get to.
Maybe eventually, like I do work on a lot of projects
with intricate gears and clockwork mechanisms.
So I bet you do.
I bet you do.
They all laugh. I do. I do in fact, so I bet you do. I bet you do. They all laugh.
I do.
I do, in fact, Henry's blood is boiling.
And I can follow you, kid.
Yes, it's nice to have my work confirmed by someone.
I do work on a lot of intricate work.
And if perhaps you could use your tiny fingers
to aid me, that would be wonderful.
But for now, I was just wondering if you knew a place
where I could shoot at some old tin cans
or something like that. Just some harmless fun. You seem like kids that might knew a place where I could shoot at some old tin cans or something like that.
Just some harmless fun.
You seem like kids that might know a place for that.
They look at you kind of skeptical,
then they look at each other,
and then the one kind of head one looks up and you
and goes like, yeah, yeah, I got a place you could try that out.
Here, follow me.
Either way, come along, Spritele.
Maybe you'll make some friends.
Oh, shit.
This seems in advisable, Papa.
You see, they take you.
Oh, there.
They begin walking away from the alley.
And you see that there are different tunnels that go
into different mines and stuff.
How much HP do I have right now?
Still one?
Zero. Yeah, one here up to. All right. Yeah, I'm stable at one cool. I guess I will probably yeah
I've got a single spell slot left. I'll go ahead and cure once myself as I'm walking okay
You cure wounds yourself. I'm keeping an eye on where he's going right how far away is he right now?
They're walking away
Okay, I'm gonna Okay. I'm gonna
suck. I'm gonna summon Shank. Yeah, wake up buddy. Let's get
himself into some shit. Alright, we're gonna. Aping Zerk really
wanted to get robbed. So now Mr. Shank, unfortunately, this is
yet another chapter in the tragedy of your life. You are now a
babysitter, Shank. Maybe to save Zirk.
We just need you to keep, I'm gonna be right behind you.
I'm gonna be 30 feet behind you.
You are my eyes and ears though.
All right.
Okay, let's go.
You guys walk out of the tavern
and you guys follow at a distance.
Fier, are you doing anything
or are you staying with Patilda?
These seems as though maybe we even need backups. Also, it might be kind of boring to just sleep.
So, I guess, okay, I will join.
Sweet, alright. Fier, you follow Henry as Shank kind of takes the lead. Zirk, you see that
there are like different like mining tunnels and stuff that go deeper takes the lead. Zirk, you see that there are different like
mining tunnels and stuff that go deeper into the mountain.
You see, there's like a group of like five kids here,
when I say kids, I mean like 50 year olds,
so just like kind of, smaller, like a little skinnier,
their tusks aren't quite as pronounced,
they're not as like buff as Lusgar,
they have these little like
bowler caps on and like suspenders and you see like four of them go in and
these guys do these guys have like intense intense dark vision so they just like
walk right into this like super dark tunnel and you see the one goes like we
got some cans of stuff set up we got some weapons we've used before we'll throw like throwing knives and stuff in there
I was kind of looking for more of like an alley or maybe like an old construction site, but uh
Okay, uh, I'm gonna like put my hand on the wall as I go
Um, and use tinkering to leave like a little glowing sigil there or something like that
I'll just put a little glowing z on the wall as I go in the room.
Hold your hand up, put a little glowing Z on the wall.
Zirk, go ahead and give me a perception check with disadvantage.
Oh, fuck me.
That's gonna be an eight.
Okay, it's just such a bad idea.
I'm really excited to see where this is going.
I didn't think you could beat licking fire, but well.
Ah!
That was good!
And insane start to the episode.
Zirk let his guard down so hard
when the tilde was rescue.
Oh, he's rolling.
So many dice.
That's good, dear.
Zirk, out of the darkness,
one of these kids just has a pipe and clocks you in the head
for three damage.
I got a chin!
Oh, there.
The next kid goes, he's got like a rock in his hands.
Oh, God.
They're rolling with advantage.
They're coming out of hiding.
Nine damage for the second one.
I lean over to Mr. Henry and I say,
I really am a time sorcerer because I saw this future.
Maybe I am too.
No, it, but maybe you are.
I thought you'd be. I thought you'd be. I thought you'd be. I. Maybe you are. I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be.
I thought you'd be. I thought you'd be. I thought you'd be. I thought cave on the way in. That would be believable.
Six damage from the last guy. Yep, I'm down. Okay, I'm just see darkness, Henry, Fia, I'll say you
guys were a little bit behind them. You see, Zirk goes into this tunnel with these kids. You see a minute later, the kids all walk out, no zerk. Okay. Hey, hey,
buddies. All right. They stop and they look up at you, Henry. Oh, I guess what is this
tall people convention or something? Yes, it is. We have many important things to discuss,
such as the giving of ladders to small ones
So we don't have to reach everything all the time. What are you trying to say there? All right with fire easy
You know you you taught our friend the valuable lesson which is not to
Go into a dark cave with five hooligans that he doesn't know
Arguably one that his parents should have taught him earlier,
but he's a late learner.
He's a quick learner though.
I don't think he'll make the mistake again.
Anyway, thank you for teaching him the lesson.
We're just gonna need whatever you took off his person
and we'll call it square.
Who's your friend?
Can I do a perception check to try and see
if anyone has the gun?
Yeah, go ahead and do a perception check.
19 on the dice.
Wow, yeah, you see the little leader, dude.
You see like the top of the handle of a Zerks gun
in this kid's pants.
Then can I cast command and tell him to drop it?
Sure, what kind of save does he make?
Wisdom save.
That is a natural five.
You see, I'm still looking at you going,
I didn't take nothing from your friend.
Not that I even know who your friend is.
And then just casually just reaches into his pants,
grabs a gun and throws it on the ground.
What?
Cool side.
Stop, leader, I pick up the gun. Sorry for the confusion. You guys just be on your way. We'll find them. We probably got drunk and wanted out of now.
Thanks for your help. I'm gonna try not to hit my head on any door frames.
Try not to hit yours on any tables. All right. See you guys.
They give you guys a little salute and walk off.
Well, should we let them sleep in the cave or should we? guys a little salute and walk off?
Well, should we let him sleep in the cave or should we? I think we should let him sleep in the cave and sort of consider the possibility that he has lost his
gun and perhaps it will be a lesson without the sting of it having to be true.
I like that. Okay, cool. I'm just gonna walk into the cave and put a little blanket over Sir. Yeah, that's right. You see there's a cave bug already crawling in his mouth. Yeah,
you see this is not safe. You see you hear like the sounds of like monsters in the distance.
You're like, okay, so I'm gonna carry them to the mouth of the cave. I like the place.
Yeah, this sounds beautiful to me. This is just a lullaby. You see, the scottling of insects.
As you guys pick up Zirk, you see,
the kids did not like try to kill him or anything,
but they did not just take his gun.
They took all his shit.
They took a full-leaf.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, dear.
Oh, okay.
What else did they have?
Everything on your, anything in your pockets?
I use the salts that he gave me and put it under his nose.
Zerkveka, makeup.
I think those kids are up to something.
Yeah, you think?
Where's my god?
Where's my gun?
Actually, you're in luck.
Fia got your gun back.
Where am I keys?
Where's my task port?
Has anyone seen my task port?
You should not be carrying that around in your pocket.
Yeah, we used to travel around a lot.
It's probably outdated, but I do have one.
Oh gosh.
Okay, that's dangerous.
They could use that to get another passport.
They probably also have an acid sample,
some venom bolts, a vial of betilva's blood,
a single bomb, and some extra ammunition.
Oh my god, but she was as blood!
That one's pretty bad.
Shank, look at my alive buddy. I go immediately to
go retrieve. I hear nothing else. I go to retrieve the violin. But till this blood.
Looks like a goddamn gazelle. Oh my god. Go ahead and um, Fiya give me a, I'm gonna say
perception check with disadvantage. These kids went off into the town. Oh god damn it. That's gonna be a five.
Let me see what I add to it.
It's gonna be an eight.
You got an eight?
Boy.
Fia, you look around.
You see other kids.
You don't recognize.
Okay, I turn around and I say, okay, it was very fun.
I hope that you had a fun time.
But right now, Batilda, who is not only my smith, but now your smith
Her body is in danger to the witchcraft of others and you have done this you retrieve Batilda's blood or else And then I walk away
Wow, dude, she's mad at you. Yeah, I know all right. I'm shoving Henry
Did you have a nice moment for yourself? I pop back in look now. I'm shoving Henry. Hey! Did you have a nice moment for yourself?
I popped back in.
Okay, now I'm really going, now I'm really going, okay?
You already made a dramatic exit, it was perfect.
Hold me back, miss.
Hold me back.
See, both of those are joy.
No, hold me back.
You have to hold me back.
No, you hold me back.
All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay?
I just wanted to try and do everything I could
to keep us safe and I wanted a little extra practice, but I fudged up big time, okay? I really hecked this up and I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted to try and do everything I could to keep us safe and I wanted a little extra practice,
but I fudged up big time, okay, I really hecked this up
and I'm sorry.
I swing his little gun around my finger
and I say you can have this back
when I get betilled as blood.
Fair enough.
Spreital, are you living for this drama?
Cause I'm scared.
I'm scared from when the people came out
and it put by with pipes,
and now everyone's mad at him.
Too much drama.
I hate this is too much drama for even me.
Zorkis got it like twirling the edges of his hair
around his finger.
We'll figure something out.
Spritele, you can fly.
Can you fly up into the air and see if you can get a view
of where those kids might have gone?
You see Spritele nods their head and goes up.
And hey, Shank, you don't weigh anything.
Can you ride on Spritele?
So see if you can see something too.
And I ride on Spritele.
That's right, you're right on Spritele.
That should be a good chapter in that form.
That's a tad ridiculous.
But yes, you can.
You're weightless.
I'm gonna, in my, how far can I travel away?
That seems weird that I could just fly.
30 feet from me. 30 feet in the air
Yeah, okay any direction, but see um shank grabs on to Sprite. Oh, I don't like this one fucking back
Where's up in the air go ahead and give me a perception check for
Hank and a perception check for Sprite. Oh cool
It's a 16 for Shank.
Okay, 11.
Okay.
Shank sees one of the kids, not the main kid.
Kind of looking both ways, just looking kind of suspicious.
Like this kid is just like making a beeline home.
Like goes into like one of these stone houses
and closes the door.
We got a break into his house. Great. Okay. All right. So yeah, we got we got eyes on somebody,
but bad news is they went home there at their house. Okay, but they are by themselves.
By themselves. Okay. Dintially or with their parents who they love. We don't know who lives there.
Okay, let's go look in the windows. Okay, you guys approach this stone house.
You see that there's like a fire or like candlelight
going on inside like a little bit of an orange glow.
And you hear through an open window,
this kid getting chewed out by their mom.
Cug-nuck, what are you doing?
You're only 47 years old out all night.
And my mom won't you buzz off, all right? I'm old enough. I'm going up. I'm going.
So mouthy. I'm going to go read in bed. You're not going to read. You go immediately right to bed.
Hey, politely knock on the door. You knock on the door. You see this older, deep folk woman comes out, big tusks pointed down, long white hair,
opens the doors looking straight ahead, but then looks up to meet your gaze and goes like,
can I help you? Yes, Henry Hogfish, glory to Zelbaldar. Blood and stone, glory to Zelbaldar. Paladin stone.
Bounzer chest,
Blood and stone, glory to Zelbaldar.
My name is Dinlana.
Dinlana, it is a pleasure to meet you.
We're friends of Lusgrars.
I don't know if you know him.
I'm familiar with Lusgrar.
I'm one of the great warriors of the South Post.
A great leader here.
He is, he sure, he certainly is.
Now look, I know your kid has gotten mixed up with some no good kids.
I think your kid's a good kid.
You got a good heart.
The thing is, I think he took something from our buddy, Zirk here.
And we don't want any trouble.
We just like to see it returned.
Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage.
Zirk turns around to show the giant knot
on the back of his head.
You know, that wasn't necessarily your child.
That could have been any of them.
They all have pipes, as I'll say.
That is an 18.
She looks at you, Henry.
She looks at Zirk, and you see she shakes her head,
and she yells,
Cognac, have you been luring strangers into caves and hitting them with pipes again?
Wow
And he goes
Yeah, yeah ma, why you got a problem with it?
You see this kid comes down stairs
Sees his mother standing with a grown man with claws
The dude he just attacked and a lady with a giant sword with claws, the dude he just attacked
and a lady with a giant sword next to her and he goes,
well what is this side?
I didn't realize they were moving the tall people
convention to my home.
We already heard that one.
You guys doing home visits now?
Sorry.
Done the tall people bit.
It's getting stale.
It's getting stale.
All right, all right, what do you want?
What do you want?
Return the stuff you stole from me.
Starting with the Vile of blood.
Okay, the Vile of blood.
Guys, go ahead and give me, I said what I said, five kids.
Let's say 16 through 20, this kid has the blood.
Oh boy, who wants to roll it?
Just roll a luck check.
Theo, you want to roll it?
You want to roll it?
I literally just got a 17 like that.
Whoa!
Fucking hell!
That was good.
This parent conversation can only work once.
This kid doesn't have,
is there any part of the money or whatever that you had is gone?
All of that stuff.
But you see, this kid seemed to have been interested
in like the chemical stuff and like the bombs like real shit head kid stuff
And just like fine. Yeah, it got some weird shit
So we had like fucking goose and whatnot
I thought I would make some like weird slime or like I don't know like blow up a small building or something buddy
I could have shown you how to do that
You didn't need to steal it from me. We could have made this a little science camp together
Why would I want to go to science camp
but a dude who follows strange people into caves
and gets beat up?
I guess because you don't have love in your heart.
You damn right it, don't you?
Thank you dumb stuff.
I give up, gives you back your alchemy stuff.
He's got like your alchemy stuff on him.
That's good, this is important.
All right, Duff, fuck off, get out of my house. Yeah. Okay. Before we leave, I say to I say to his
mom, I say, one parent to another, when they tell you to buzz off, that's when they
need you the most. You don't buzz. You see? You don't buzz like I said. She tears up and
she goes, I know these, the forties are a phase. I just got a once they get to 60 or 70 then they become your friends, you know
Henry nods blankly
Turns away. How how old are you man? I ask just out of curiosity 210 good for you
Thank you very to Zelbaldar blood in stone blood in stone. Gloward is a bulldog. Sorry for sorry for any trouble my kid cost
Blood and stone blood and stone. Gloward is noble dar sorry for sorry for any trouble my kid cost
You know, yeah, it's it really was not anything that our pal was not it seems actively seeking so
Really fault on both sides. I see she yells at her son no caves for a week
Caves in my favorite place ma games inside games of course
Double cave you see he seems sweet
She sends him upstairs waves you guys goodbye closes the door okay
All right, we all came for a four to go I
Just want to say again. I'm very sorry
This is not what I planned for this evening
Not my intention, but you know what? Intentions regardless, they can have consequences and I'm deeply sorry for you.
And Henry, you seem a little annoyed too, so I'm sorry to you.
Well you pushed me and I didn't really do it.
I got a little heated.
I ate the fire, I got a little heated.
Hey you see the shank pipes up and I'm afraid of heights and you had me flying around looking for kids.
I unsummoned shank. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa No. Oh, okay. He's good at it though. All right, ciao. Yeah, good at it.
You got to be good at it, I'll say dad.
Hey, there he goes.
Disappears.
We know the ocean.
We should probably try and do some more research about that seafarate at some point.
Yes, yes, I would like that very much.
I'm going to say it's been a couple hours at this point.
If you guys want to get some sleep.
Yeah, I have at least one concussion, so I should probably sleep that off.
Yeah, all right, let's hit the hay.
You know, I'm glad we all had this row, you know, it's good.
It's a bonding experience. We're a bunch of introverts.
You gotta, you gotta go through the tough shit.
I do not hold a grudge, not that, but till this blood has been returned.
Interesting, you know, grudge, that kind of feels like it's my thing.
Maybe I should, maybe I should quit doing that
Yes, you use your anger to get something done then when it is done, it disappears much like shank
Wow, all right. Yeah, I can grasp that idea
So you guys go back to
the earthen ale tavern you guys get your sleep for the night and
to the Earthenail Tavern. You guys get your sleep for the night and really really really early in the morning like five or six hours later. You guys hear a knock at your door.
Oh fuck.
You're kind of our face, Mr. Henry. You should get it.
You have that soothing parental presence.
Henry looks in the mirror and sees a haggard middle aged man.
Yeah, just drool crust all down the side of your cheek.
Yeah, I straighten out my bangs and I walk to the door.
Do you open up the door and you see that Lusgror is out there.
He's got like a pot of tea and a pot of coffee with him.
Well, blood and stone in the morning till you, Lusgrar.
Blood and stone in the morning.
He nods to you.
You see he walks in, sets down the tea.
Batilda starts to stir.
And you see as she wakes up, you see Lusgrar looks a little sheepish.
Batilda, it is good to see you awake.
I was wondering if I could speak to you
of a question befitting a blade.
And you see, Patilda still looks kind of out of it.
You know, mechanically, yesterday,
she had like exhaustion.
She's still suffering like the effects of those.
She's been like out for eight years.
So she still looks like pretty messed up even though she's gotten a full rest. You see she waves her hand at lusts
Grar and goes, it's good to see you lusts Grar, but I'm retired. You can take it up with them. They're they're full blades now.
I stand behind the I kick the cots where they're sleeping.
Lades. Fia falls out. Rigeid. She sleeps super rigid like a cold.
It's such a thought. Lans.
You see, Lusgrar looks at the legendary blade that is a sleep and bed.
And it looks at these three buffoons. Still with like bruises and scratches from
their scrap with children last night.
And we scratches his ass with his claws.
Luscar goes, all right, Spatilda, we'll let you rest.
Turns to the rest of you and goes, shall we take our coffee downstairs then?
Yes, for me, but yes.
You see, pours a cup for Patilda, and you guys all walk downstairs.
To the lower level of the tavern, you see the scene is very similar to how it was last
night.
And because there's no sun here, there's no natural kind of waxing and waning of the
day.
You see the room is still dark and lit by candlelight.
You see some people are drinking ails, others are drinking coffee.
You see there's less cars mom was behind the bar before, you see there's a younger man behind the bar now.
You see it's a different set of patrons, but the bar very much looks the same.
You see Lesnar finds a table in the corner, plops down with you, pour some coffee to like a large clay mug and as he sips it, he goes, I have to admit,
my interest in Batilda Survival was not entirely altruistic. We have need of a blade here.
Oh, well, what do you need? you've gotten us out of some shitty situation?
So I feel like yeah, oh yeah, yeah, we are certainly in your debt as you say that you see he
Puts his mug down and he sits up straight and he points to you and he goes now me helping you was repaying my debt to Kenley
This is something different. I will owe you. I keep my oaths
Kenley this is something different. I will owe you I keep my oaths
Maybe the first time you say that twice you saved us twice you repay the debt to
Kenley and you incur the new debt with us you saved us twice yes, we owe you a debt blood and stone
You see he scratches his chin and he goes hmm hmm, perhaps now you will have to answer the call. Oh shit.
Great.
That we will, I slam down my tea like a tanker of ale.
Very well, perhaps you do owe us a favor.
Beyond that, I think finding this person
would be mutually beneficial to both of us.
There's a cleric here named
Gerez. Gerez. She's been missing for a couple days and I'm worried about her.
She's a seer and she had a reoccurring dream of communicating with the undead.
A group of horrors that could speak and feel. And she imagined herself meeting them
in one of our abandoned outposts.
She told me this, but I advised her against pursuing it.
She ended up leaving anyway by herself.
This was just before I left to help you the other day.
I asked around, and the last she was seen,
she was going to a place called the crux
And I am not welcome there
May I ask by so I know not to dress passionate like bringing your own alcohol you're not supposed to do that
They throw you right up for that. Is it like a hangout for the kids? Is that where you're not welcome?
There are a lot of nasty teens there
By teens I mean people in their forties of course.
Yes, of course.
Yes, the teenagers of Middle Ages were.
Forty is the new 13.
I love to hear it, honestly.
The crux is one of the few deep folk outposts that doesn't take the name Zellboldar.
They're not exactly traditional.
It's a bit of a transient town.
It's close to a lot of old ruins.
There are dangerous people there called scrapers.
Ostensibly, they're called that because they travel to different ruins and mining tunnels and collect artifacts and supplies to repurpose them.
In reality, they are
Raiders who aren't above killing to get what they want. Oh dear. So would it be presumptuous of me to say there is maybe no collectible postcard in this one?
I wasn't gonna bring it up, but thank you, Fiya.
If anything, there would be more likely to sell you BUM postcards.
You could probably actually go there and complete your collection without traveling to any of the other zobaltos.
Henry slams down his car. Seems unlawful, but if it's the only way we must do it.
We leave fishing incredibly efficient.
Anyway, a few years ago, a major outpost in mining site was destroyed by a sudden cave
in that killed hundreds.
It was suspicious to say the least, no witnesses survived. We
believed the scrappers were responsible, but we couldn't prove it. The de facto
leader of the Crocs, Hugh Tarr Gunner-Bold, took offense. Suffice it to say, I am
no longer welcome. There are humans and various other outlaws in the Crocs,
traders doing business. You'll fit in better than I would.
I am not liked by the de facto leader. I see. And what sort of persuasions are they incline
towards? So as you know, we might be able to use such information to make an introduction.
Hugh Tarr Gunnerbolt owns a bar there called the Mall and pretty much owns all business in the crux
Though he wouldn't put his name on it officially. He's got his hands in a lot of people's business
Hmm, I see you see he hands you a a like charcoal drawing
And he goes this is threats
You see she's got a long gray hair with a streetcar.
This is beautiful. Did you draw this?
Yes, I'm a bit of an artist.
We are meeting so many really good artists along the way.
Is everyone really good at drawing?
I mean, I've never even tried.
You should try. I think you've got what it takes.
I'm terrified.
You see, on the picture of Gretz,
she's got long gray hair with a streak of black in it.
She wears a breastplate under a cloak and wields a staff.
She's got an amulet in the shape of a leaf.
You see she's got a septum piercing with interlocked rings
that go down, lustsgar are points to the amulet she's wearing,
the one that's in the shape of a leaf.
She's our last way of
contacting Sienna, the Autumn Fairy, the Fairy of Wisdom.
She's very important to our cause here. Her death would surely lead to violence between us and the scrapers.
Should they have anything to do with it?
I see. We want this is a snake mission to prevent an all-out war.
You see, he nods.
Okay, okay.
Always eager to meet a fellow healer as well, so I'm definitely excited to speak with
this cleric if we can find her.
She is an extremely knowledgeable healer, and she has the ear of Sienna.
If you help her, I'm sure she would be able to help you.
Perhaps together, you would be able to figure out
what's going on with these mysterious, sentient horrors
that she's dreaming about.
Yes, we will take this on.
I will run it by a batild, but I would imagine
she would support this.
You see, Lusgar nods, let me know when you're ready.
There's a
Transporter that can help you travel quickly to the crux.
Perfect. That's good. I also could summon a little steed, but we'll I don't know. I prefer to ride by disc actually
It's true. I guess I'm in a state have my dancers floating disc behind me
Yeah, I believe the area that the crux is near in the above ground would be West precinct
I think it's about 200 miles from here on foot. Oh
Okay, all right, sorry big disorder it is
He points out the window. He like gives you guys directions. Awesome. By the way
I actually named dropped you last night when we were trying to get this violet blood back and it was super helpful
So if anything I owe you an extra favor trying to get a pile of blood back. Yeah, I don't know if you have like
PTA meetings or like city council or something like that but like the
Fiends the fiends are out of control like they're just straight up like the, it sounds bad
But I guess there's no other way to put it so yes, I was robbed by babies very well I will ask around all right, but I'll see you at the transport or whenever you're ready. Yes
Well, let's go say our goodbyes the Patilda. You guys go upstairs to Patilda
You see she stirs as the door opens
I leave it I leave a hot black tea on her nightstand and I whisper,
but tillda, Leskar wants us to go look for a cleric.
It's 200 miles away.
Oh, that's nice little fang.
You should be co-do it.
Do you need us here?
Do I need you here for me to lay in bed?
No, I don't need you here to help me lay in bed.
I'm damn capable of laying in bed all by myself, little fron.
All right, it's fine.
Let me plug this T into a little hot plate.
Keep it warm for you.
Ha, ha, ha.
This is Mr. Henry's witchcraft.
This, this is my star pupil, my family.
I haven't licked anything since yesterday.
So you're licking those shells.
Quiet, dude.
Fia, what kind of message did you leave in the vile?
Oh, I wanted to ask her if she had any stories
of the different lives of Syrinesis.
Because I only know her as a rena,
but it is perhaps a selfish curiosity.
It is not one that I think helps me to guard her.
It's a great childish.
She might be drawn to places her past life went
if Henry's any indication.
Well, okay, wonderful.
That's wonderful to have a,
I totally just wanted it out of curiosity to know her better,
but yes, it is because I am a diligent car
When you come back here, I'll fill you in on what I know my mind's a little cloudy right now
But curiosity is good. Oh, yeah until you lick something sure
You don't have to lick everything. It's so good. He gave him, he got robbed last time.
He said it was robbed.
You got robbed.
You're for not just Rob.
Yeah, he got his ass kicked and also robbed.
So yeah, I'm hoping that they have one of those t-shirts that says that in the gift shop.
Of course, of course.
I came to Zelbaldar 7 and all I got was my ass kicked and robbed.
The thing is they do have it, I know, but it's sold out.
It's very popular.
It's still a lot of people.
But all the T-shirts are gone.
So you already found me.
Yeah, if I had seen the T-shirt in the store,
probably wouldn't have done it.
You know, you shouldn't feel that bad if they sell out so well, you know.
You see, Patilda goes, but seriously, little fang.
I am here, if you need me, you can reach out to me via the book. I do need some time to rest here.
So it would be good for you to help Pluscrar with whatever he needs because the deep folk have been great friends to us.
Absolutely. Okay. Shades open or closed. I'm sorry. I know'm being overbaring. Let's do the crack. Open the crack.
Okay, partial.
I love that.
Nice.
Very transitional.
It's dark regardless because we're in a cave.
Okay, one last punch of the pillow and then we go.
If you just wail the pillow.
Ah!
You're gonna be okay.
I can't leave.
So close to our head.
I don't know how you do that.
So you guys exit the tavern and you guys see
Lusquare outside of a small stone building built
into the cave wall.
You see he leads you in and you see dim purple light
coming up from several runes circles coming out of
like circular inlets in the wall that it looks like
you could step into.
There looked to be about like two dozen of them.
You can guess these probably go to the other like
zelball dars.
And you see, Lusgrar points to the third transporter
from the left and he goes,
this will take you to the crux, be careful there.
Do we go one at a time?
I suppose you could all try to cram in if you'd like.
Can we try to cram in?
Because I don't want to like show up and we immediately can't find each other.
I feel awkward if I can't, if I don't know anybody when I, when I, when I arrive.
I've learned that if you go off on your own bad things happen, we're cramming in.
Alright, let's cram.
I'm glad you learned the right lesson.
It takes a while, but it finds its way in for you.
You guys cram into this little teleporter.
It's really laborious and painful,
but you guys all eventually get in there,
and you guys are transported, and you
arrive in a similar stone building in the crux.
You see there's a guard here. you see the guard nods to you,
and motions for you to like exit into the village,
and outside you immediately hear the sounds of rushing water.
You see that this is clearly near another
underground river network,
and you actually see little docks and boats,
and even fishermen pulling at these cave fish.
It looks like the river is used as a mode of travel.
You see a deep folk preparing to set off in like cylindrical boats down different tunnels,
kind of like log flumes almost.
Oh, you see the mountains.
Are they going faster than the river boat that we already went on?
Yeah, no, they're going fast as fuck.
Yeah, no, this is extremely dangerous.
Yeah, it feels for herself because it was already a hurdle
to trust the ground of the river boat.
Are they raising their hands and going,
ah, as they leave?
Absolutely not.
You see, they're placing themselves and going,
ah.
I lean over to the circuit, I say,
it's okay, we can do that.
You sure you mean it?
I do it already.
Ah. You guys see the mouths of many tunnels, it looks very complicated.
You also hear the sounds of metal hitting metal.
You see several forges and blacksmiths.
You see burly, deep folk wheeling wheelbarrows of scrap metal that is then getting melted
down and pounded into
shape by these different blacksmiths. You see these artisans and merchants and
stuff are in different tents that are all lined up selling their wares. You see
the majority of people here are deep folk but you do see several humanoids out
and about. Some of them have tents and are selling their wares as well. Occasionally
you'll see these great stone gates in the distance open through which you will
see light pour in and you'll see a merchant or some other guest enter in. This
looks much less hidden than the outpost that Lusgrar took you to. In fact, as you
guys like exit the little transporter,
you see the guard there disassembles the circle
that you guys went through,
so that nobody can go back in unless this wizard worker person
is there.
So it seems like nobody really trusts the crux
to correctly judge who's coming through here. Don't trust the crux to like correctly judge who's coming through here.
Don't trucks the crux.
You guys see there are some actual stone buildings.
You see you know obviously the transporters will want among them.
You see the biggest hub in this little village is a big tavern and in called the mall outside
of which you see some intimidating looking folks.
You see deep folk and humanoids.
They're in this like menacing plate mail
that looks effective yet kind of unpolished.
It's almost like they want you to know
that this is stuff that they made from metal
that they found themselves.
These are clearly what Lusgrar was referring to
when he said like the scrappers.
These are like raiders.
You see there's no uniform among them.
They carry all different kinds of blades and stuff, oftentimes much longer than their own
bodies.
Wow.
I wonder if I have anything to pedal, because I know that my body could handle more intense
armor.
Yeah.
Well, my pockets are pretty empty at the moment, so I can't help you out there.
Thank you, but I would never ask you to pay for my armor
There are blacksmiths and stuff like at the tents
Shouting out that they have armor. They have split mail. They have plate mail
They have shields they've swords. Oh, okay. Let's you know
No, please go to the way back maybe oh, I. It would be irresponsible to go into a new place unprepared.
So, I mean, if we want to see what they have,
you know, I've been around shop keeps and people peddling
wears for my entire life.
So I can try and, you know, put my nose to the ground
and see who's trustworthy.
Sweet, yeah, Zirk, go ahead and give me an insight check
as you walk up and browse the wears
of the different pedalers at the different tents.
There we go, 17.
17.
Zerke you walk around.
You see some people that are obviously not well-meaning.
In fact, you see somebody who's kind of got the look of a mage,
she's wearing like a robe, who's got all these like gems and spell components out
on like a little pedestal, on like a little stand.
And you see real quick, like behind the booth,
he's like duplicating the gems so that they're not real.
He's just making like fake gems and he's like
shouting for people to come browse his wares.
And you see a few like interest.
You have to respect the hustle.
You see that there are all of the armor here
is kind of like rough looking by design.
It's supposed to be like intimidating.
You see some that looks, you know,
like some vendors that have kind of higher quality stuff
that's probably gonna cost a little more,
but there are definitely some
that would probably give you the AC,
but maybe break at some point.
Like there are definitely people that you could work with here
to get kind of cheaper armor.
Basically, kind of any kind of spell component
you could want, any kind of basic weapon or armor
that you could want is here.
And there's even, there's a kid with a newspaper.
When I say kid, I mean, deep folk kid,
so kid in his 40s.
You see, one of the
In one of the tents. There's like this printing press thing and you hear a kid go news funny outside world
Newish copies of the West precinct Gazette a new petty king for out of burrow horrors in the Empire
Interesting, okay, does anyone else keep up with politics?
Yeah, I like to I like to see how the sports teams are doing. I might
grab one of those. Yeah, I like the funnies, but I'm sure that I'm sure there might be some other
useful information there. Sweet. Henry, lend me a copper. You go up as soon as you go, the kid
charges you the tall people tax, it costs you two copper,
gives you a paper.
I peel off the funnies and hand them to Zerg.
I'll take the obits.
Oh god.
Creepier and creepier.
Yeah, the obituaries are just super, super dark
because it's all descriptions of how people destroyed the body
so they couldn't come back as horrors. is important see we must know this we are in the we are in the business of trying to prevent this
We must know what the enemy is doing
fear of tucks into the obituaries
You can't you can't say that you don't get some kind of perverse joy out of it
Henry you grab it first they check my inner burrow strikers scores
Henry, you grab it. First, I check my inner burl strikers scores. You do see that the Buffalo Bills have once again lost. God damn it! They are cursed. Is that your team or something?
Forget it. You see the big headline on the front page are two names that you recognize. Carlyle Loch Nemore, who is your ex-wife
Izzy's new husband, and Edgar Arias, who is Izzy's father, you see a headline
that says Carlyle Loch Nemore Edgar Arias, among names, being considered for
Petty King of Outerboro, and there's a long article detailing Carlyle being
from one of the old families, from like the Loch Nemour family, a great grandfather who was once
the high king of the empire. His wife Isabel has family in Outerboro, could possibly be a popular choice and then Edgar Arias obviously
close to Carlisle that's his son-in-law and also is a business leader and has
done a lot for industry in West precinct and has helped create like some of the
river trade that goes through the different territories and you see like some of the river trade that goes through the different territories.
And you see like part of his bids to get either like him
or his son-in-law in Outerboro is to like open up
more trade in Outerboro and to make it kind of more city like,
oh, they're gonna finally finish that train.
And you see that there have been more horror attacks
in West precinct, which is rare.
It's kind of like a ritzy area, like outer burrow and inner burrow are kind of out in the
boonies, so that happens a little bit more.
West precinct is a little more buttoned up.
Witnesses claim that these horrors kind of just appeared out of thin air.
Attacks have been happening in the forest, closer and closer to civilization. Advisors to the high queen are visiting to speak with local officials about a solution.
And at this point, the cinder sworn are being considered to burn down a whole swath of woods
to stop whatever is like creating horrors in this area. Wow. So as I read that, I convey it to Zerkin Fia
and accidentally I'm tearing the paper in half
with my claws as I'm getting my axe in her husband.
You cut specifically around that one picture.
Is that important?
Take it, take it from me.
It's nothing to me.
Veeces header.
It's okay, y'all should really read today's horror-filled.
It's so funny.
It's really funny.
Horror-filled eats this person,
and then horror-filled's owner, John,
says not to eat the per- it's great.
You just just read it.
I could use a laugh.
I snatched the paper so hard.
Horror-filled loves being awake and hates Fridays.
Awake, better to hunt.
You do notice Henry that as you look at it, there is like a sketch of your ex Isabel and
her husband Carlisle.
And you see they have a child with them.
And under it it says Carlisle Lochnamore, his wife, Isabel Lochnamore, and
their son, Carlyle, the second. And you do not see young Henry in this picture.
Hey, hey, hey, something's wrong with this. I wave it in front of the view.
You, young man, young man who's on this paper,
it's really effective.
What?
No, no, it's.
Do you do the e-phones?
Okay, I did not say it was an official West precinct,
because I said it was a copy of the West precinct,
because that-
How many of these obituaries are lies?
As far as I know, as far as I know,
all those people are really dead. It is counterfeit paper business is fine.
That's fine by me.
It's not like, yes.
All I do is I buy one paper and then I copy the paper myself and then I sell those papers
and I don't give any money to the person who write.
Okay, when you copied this photo, was there another kid?
Was there an extra kid here?
Was it always this?
No, this was, I do not photoshop extra kid here was it always no this was I
Don't I do not photo shop people out of the pictures for no fucking reason, okay cool
So this isn't a prank on me personal attachment to this family whatever this weird reaction that you're having is
All right get out of here. All right
Pigs up his printing press
So
Strong the nicest one we've met.
Yeah, didn't hit me with a pipe.
Yeah.
He's an enterprising young kid.
That's fine.
You see him hit somebody with a pipe?
Oh, there you go.
Yep.
All right.
But yes, Henry, you see there is a kid here.
This kid looks to have been born after you've left.
This kid looks like four or five.
And young Hank would be like a young teenager now,
and he's not in the picture.
Yeah, this is not good.
I thought Hank, I thought young Henry was gonna be
absorbed into the family, but who knows?
Maybe they rejected him, maybe they pushed him out,
maybe he's on his own somewhere, I don't know,
I'm freaking out, maybe he's on his own somewhere, I don't know, I'm freaking out guys.
Mr. Henry, I was a young teen who found herself away from home, it is not a kind life.
Yeah, just thinking about young Henry sitting in a cemetery singing creepy songs all by himself.
Well, see, that's the part that I'm sentimental for.
I see.
Okay.
Think about the one he could have.
Go get the high.
You're referencing the highs of it, you know?
Well, now, all right, now I'm actually, I'm really freaking out.
He could hold little funerals for all the little animals who die and then he could
bury them.
You should be optimistic.
Maybe he ran away from his mom and joined a morgue and has been
working there for a few years. Let's hold out hope that it's that one. Yeah you
see a bookfire flaps over and goes don't worry he can end up like any of us. I
quickly look through the obituary to see if they shout out the the morticians
and look for Hank's name. I don't think he's working at any of these morgues.
That's good.
It's good that they give the morticians credit though.
You got to respect that.
They do.
Well, some of them do really good work.
Henry, where did you say your family is now?
We're in West precinct.
We're below West precinct now.
Maybe we can pop over.
How far are we from town?
Yeah, Lusgar told you guys that this cave network was like near West precinct, so you guys
are quite far from where you started.
Yeah.
Okay.
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All right, you see, um, book far pipes up and goes, I'm sure we could send a message.
Yes, there are anyone that you trust? We did. They do have a post office. Yes, yes, yes.
We should send a post. Very well maintained. With all the counterfeit post office. Yes, yes, yes. We should send a post office. Very well maintained.
With all the counterfeit postcards, yes.
Yes, let's...
You know, there's a possibility that Henry
just didn't want to be in the picture.
It looks like a long city.
We met some unruling teens.
The email he told, is he to buzz off?
And she was like, Henry, you can't be in the picture.
So...
That is true, that is true.
Let's not assume worst case scenario.
Why don't I write?
I'll write a letter to
Izzy and to
Lyle it's Lyle and Carlisle. Does he like it when you call him Lyle?
I'll write a letter to Izzy and a letter to Carlisle or Lyle as I'm gonna start calling him now
And I'll just ask him where just casual keep it cool. Hey, where's my son?
So chill. Yeah, where is my son? But with a question mark not an exclamation point. That's casual
Maybe just a period. I have to be honest. I think maybe that where is my son? I don't know have to read that in a way that is not. I will write, hey, congrats on the petty king opportunity.
Hope all is well with you.
Good start.
I'm visiting the crux.
Saw the news.
We'd love to come by and shake your hand in person
and wish you well.
By the way, where is my son?
Ha ha ha ha.
Okay, yeah.
This is very good.
I just look like now.
Look, I kind of loop them up a bit.
And I'll put a, and I'll attach the photo in there.
So they can kind of see what I'm referencing.
Yeah.
If we wanted, we could clip up a bunch of little letters
and put them all together and make the words out of that.
If you wanted it, that would look like fun.
Let's do that on the front of the letter. Because then they're like, there's sure to open it.
Henry, go ahead and give me an insight check with the advantage.
Okay.
22.
You know your ex and her father, and this dude
Carlisle a little bit.
And they're the type of people who like to keep up appearances
and stuff.
It would be kind of an insane slap in the face
for them to like murder young heck.
Like that seems kind of crazy.
So it's their vanity probably, they won't have a fault.
So your thought when looking at this is kind of like,
what the fuck are they doing with my kid?
Did they send them off?
Like, where, what is he doing?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
They're not proud of my boy.
They're probably giving him a complex, not torturing him.
Okay.
Okay, that is much better.
I got the wrong impression at first.
Yeah, you know, I really blew shit out of proportion.
I was scared.
It's okay, don't be hard on yourself. I totally understand.
They shipped them off to military school or something.
That might be very fun.
A school filled with children.
Yeah, you go.
Yeah, that's what nevermind.
I went to boat school when I was a kid.
Tell me what classes you take.
Don't touch the sides. don't touch the bottom.
Wind is good.
Whole glass.
Whole glass, yeah.
Whole semester one.
You want to avoid the sides in the bottom, yeah.
What with each year?
Seems like more of a clinic.
Sweet, yeah, you guys put together this letter
and how would you like to send it?
Do you have magical means to send it
or do you want to just talk to somebody here
like a messenger? I don't know if Do you have magical means to send it or do you want to just talk to somebody here like a messenger?
I don't know if I have any magical means to do that. I don't yeah, I don't have any magical means. Okay
Yeah, you see one of the tents has like somebody there. They've got like a horse there with them or like a I guess it would be like a mountain goat
They have like one of these giant goats there. They can go out of the mountain
I'm gonna pay extra for you you know, expedient shipping.
So like the biggest goat that you guys have. Great. That's the surest goat. That's a big
marry here. Pass to a goat. That's exactly the same size as all the other goats. I bow before
big marry. I trust you, Mary. I offer them a can. Big marry eats the can. You see.
I trust you, Mary. I offered them a can.
Big Mary eats the can.
You see.
But now she won't eat the letter.
The kid takes your message, puts it in the bag,
and you see rides off towards the gate
at the front of the city.
OK.
So is there anywhere else you guys want to visit
or anything here or ask around or anything?
You also have this sketch of grays.
Yes, let's take out the picture.
Can I do an insight check to see who could potentially like maybe have any kind of
like relation with this woman?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead. Murph, remind me why Grez was coming to the city again to Crox.
The Crox, all of these river tunnels and things like that go to different ruins and these people
raid the different areas and whether they find actual
powerful artifacts or they just find supplies and scraps and things like that and then turn it into
new items and then sell them. So Grez came here to presumably get passage or something to one of these ruins where she thought she could meet one of these horrors that she's been having dreams about.
Okay. So, yeah. So, I'm looking for who she might have looks to be this tavern called the mall. You see there's a sign outside with fangs underneath it, outside are
a bunch of these scrappers kind of speaking quietly, almost working like
bouncers. You see one, this deep folk woman in like rusty plate with a huge
great sword, she's got like a big gray mole hawk. She turns a couple people away as they approach,
but others she lets in.
The more kind of like high status,
dangerous looking folks are getting let in,
and kind of the low status like peddlers
who are like, yellin' at ya to try to like buy their shit
are not getting let in.
I see.
I'm gonna go ahead and cast detect thoughts,
because I can shift it from person to person.
Oh.
So I'm gonna have that going.
Do they do any kind of check?
Can they find out?
It says you initially learn the surface thoughts
of the creature.
What is most on its mind at the moment?
As an action, you can either shift your attention
to another creature's thoughts
or attempt to probe deeper into the same creature's mind.
If you probe deeper, the target must make a wisdom saving.
Got it. Okay, so she could, if you try to go deeper.
Yeah, if I try to go deeper on anyone,
but I think my hope is that I can just hold up the picture
and be reading their exact reactions to it.
Got it. Okay.
Do we want to ask the bouncer or do we want to try
to get inside and ask patrons?
I don't think we should show the picture outside.
I think we should maybe go in and grab a table
and maybe just listen to the chatter
see if anyone is like,
how to chance encounter with a healer of any sort
or maybe come back from a mission
and like, you know,
seeing something out of the ordinary.
I think maybe if we kind of just put our ear
to the ground, that might be the best way to move forward.
We hold on, as we're going, we should look tough.
We have to look cool.
We have to breeze in. We have to breathe in
We have to get past this so I'm gonna make my claws grow a little a little longer. Okay, you make your claws grow
I share my baby bangs just a little shorter
Um, Zirk has an alter self-potion. He's gonna drink that to give himself tusks sweet
Um nice you guys all
Approach the door you see this deep folk woman sitting
with like a human guy looks pretty rough and tumble has this like thick
arm around as well and a couple other deep folk. You see she looks up at you
guys holds her hand out and she goes what business you got at the mall.
What are her surface thoughts? That you guys don't look like you belong
If you are looking for exotic armor, maybe at discount and we heard this is a good place for it
And right now we are just looking for refreshment. You see
She gestures to the tents and she goes I'm sure you'll find whatever you're looking for out there
We're looking for something a little stronger than what we see out here.
Nice.
I drink some acid and spit.
Is there something in your throat?
What is it you're looking for?
I'm just thirsty, Nima, thirst quenched.
If that's alright.
There's a number of establishments that offer beverages.
Not the particular beverages I'm looking for. Zorka's like sweating profusely as you talk.
He's like grabbing at Henry's hand.
There's a special drink that you want that is particularly at the mall.
The mall's got the finest cocktails around from what I'm here.
Go ahead and give you a pure luck check.
I will say 15 through 20 they have cocktails. Dells around from what I'm here. Go ahead and give you a pure luck check.
I will say 15 through 20 they have cocktails.
18.
18.
You see she nods and she goes,
you're damn right we do.
Ha ha ha.
I hear you got the smokiest mess cal around in there.
Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage.
17. 17. You got gold gold my compatriots do I don't keep the stuff on me. I like to travel light
I'm gonna flip her a gold coin say one for you and we'll spend a couple more inside
I see she catches it and she goes all right. You're all right by me. She motions for you guys to go in
It's another life lesson for you Zerg. No matter where you are, everybody likes to bribe.
Zerg is dry heaving in a corner.
You guys go in.
You see, there's a hipster bartender back there,
making real complicated cocktails.
They're wearing a smock.
Yeah.
Oh, whoa.
Fia, and you also notice,
you're using power tools on liquor.
She lets you guys in.
She has surface thoughts that she is worried
for the well-being of some people.
Cool.
She's worried about somebody named Ingus.
Ingus and his crew.
Oh, interested.
Ingus.
So you guys enter the mall, and you see this place
has the look of a traditional tavern,
sconces with candles sticking out of the walls,
lighting the room, there's a long bar at the end of the room,
round wood tables throughout, but there's no music,
kind of no mariments.
At the different tables, you see what look like
shady business dealings going down,
like people trading weapons.
You'll see someone showing off magic artifacts
or showing off like cursed artifacts.
You see one table has a mage doing a similar scam
that you saw in the tents,
like duplicating gems with magic
and some like investors looking excited.
And you see without a doubt,
this person runs the show.
You see in the corner of the room,
is a big guy
seated at a table kind of commands respect. You see there are other hangers on
around him kind of keep their distance and keep looking at him to kind of
judge how they should feel at any given moment. It's like really pathetic like
waiting for him to laugh so they can laugh and stuff like that. Can I dip into his surface thoughts?
You can.
His surface thoughts are, you see, he clocks you guys
as you guys walk in, but he's not looking at you.
So he is thinking about you guys as you walk in,
but keeping it cool, he's still talking to people.
He has the feeling of not so much that you guys don't belong,
but more of like there's a lot of different faces in this town, but you don't see a lot
of new ones. You know what I mean? So he is curious about your story. He also has the thoughts.
Same thing as yesterday. And you see, yeah, this dude, you can assume this is Hugh Tar. This is the dude that had gotten into it with Lusgar in the past.
You see, unlike the other people here who are kind of peacocking with their big armor,
you see, he doesn't wear armor, just kind of a dirty work shirt and suspenders,
short gray beard, Derby had up top, kind of looks like a big version of the kids you saw before.
Oh god.
Um, but yeah, he's, he's, he's talking to these people in the corner.
He is drinking a cocktail.
Um, looks to be one of those fancy old fashions that has cherries in it.
Uh, and, uh, all of the other people at the table with him are drinking the same cocktail.
Of course, Maraschino.
I go up in Night Order 1.
You go up and you order one for a couple of several times.
They make you, you guys have to wait up there for like five minutes.
It's, you know, cocktail bars are really fun, but they also take forever.
There's like a line starting to form, even though there's not that many people in here.
My spell is over.
They're not to be perfect.
They're peeling an orange for each person.
Yeah, it appeals an orange for everybody. Light it on fire for some reason.
What do you think of that?
It's fine. We make it, yeah, we put real, we light a little stick on fire and then put it inside your old fashioned. How's that for you?
Yeah, it rules. just hurry it up. Okay. I'm actually gonna make my own fire with this too. I've got
These two little sticks here. Just gonna need a second to make my own fire, too. I would be a good cut
Well, you need to go to bartending school, ma'am. Yes, sir
It's more of a clinic. I make you guys
Three cocktails Charges you guys three cocktails.
It charges you guys a couple silver.
A couple silver.
God damn it.
Yeah, you buy the drinks, I'll keep the potions flowing.
How does that sound?
All right.
Good enough for me.
Yeah, that's good for me.
I guess I will just walk over and maybe just kind of like talk to some people on the
outs.
Sweet.
Yeah, it sounds good. You see, Fiya, as you approach the dudes on the outside,
just kind of go, oh, oh, hey, hey,
looking as if like they have permission from this big dude.
Hello, I am a gregarious people person.
I give Fiya thumbs up.
You see a huge tar nods and he goes, I'm a very serious people person. I give the thumbs up.
You see a huge tar nods and he goes,
Indeed you are.
You know what?
Why don't you have a seat?
What brings you to town?
I'm a huge tar gunner bowl.
You know, I am looking for exotic armor.
I have these tattoos and I would love to get them amplified to be more powerful.
And my friends have joined me.
My one is my potion maker and the other is my swimming stride.
She's a natural.
I am a Olympic player.
Always good to travel with your swimming instructor.
You have no idea how often I've come in handy.
Yes, most of the potions I make are for inner ear problems
since you get from swimming?
Well, you know there's a number of blacksmiths at the tents that should be able to get you fitted and should be able to get you some good
Good armor. There's some fine products here in the crux of course and other than that of course just looking for interesting
Experiences with new people our favorite. Yeah wonders He wonders if she has just implied by saying that, ideally.
Go ahead and give me a deception, Czech, Fiya.
Oh boy.
It's 12 on the dice.
Something tells me it's gonna be a minus one.
It's a minus one alone.
It's a minus one.
He goes Olympic athlete,
just coming into town to shop, right? I'm so sorry, I have a, I have a nervous niece when I meet new people that they will
not like me unless I prove my achievements.
You see he looks at some of the other dudes at the table and he goes, yeah I know a couple
people like that.
Everybody laughs along with them and he goes, don't get the fuck out of here!
They all scram.
Leave your drinks, leave your drinks.
I don't want to pay for another.
You see everybody else at the table gets up.
You see, Hugh Tarleens back, kind of bangs on the window.
You see outside the woman who is like the bouncer
with the armor and like a big sword in the
Mohawk season from the window nods you see she comes in stands behind him you
see Fia he clocks your sword he sees like your books now why are you really here
I look to Mr. Henry and Mr. Zorick and I say I'm just going to show him the
picture let's put it all on the table. It's not beat around the bush.
Okay, since you both approved, I was gonna do another picture,
but now since you both approved, I just take out the picture of Grads.
That's right.
You take out the picture of Grads, you put it down.
You see, he looks at it.
Grads, yeah.
SR.
She came into my establishment early yesterday, so she needed a transport into the
mountain to the ruins of a certain outpost. I warned her against it. That outpost is
haunted, but she said she was a cleric. She said she could possibly take care of it
for us, so we struck a deal, and I sent along a few of my men with her, but I haven't heard back
from them since.
Inge is in his crew.
Can I do an insight to see if this guy is on the level?
Yeah, you can do an insight.
When you say Inge is in his crew, you see he gives you the side eye and he goes, where
do you meet Inge?
I have not met him, I am just a good listener.
You see the bouncer eyes you up and gives you like a slice smile.
I give a slice smile back as best as you can.
I wish pretty Henry, is she reading our thoughts too?
I really hope not.
What did you get on your insight check?
Nat 20. Yes? Nat 20.
Yes!
Nat 20?
He's telling the truth, but he's like withholding information.
Okay.
You can't get quite get a read on all of his motivations, but his voice didn't waver,
so she has gone into these ruins.
With a guy that we know is dangerous. This seems like perhaps a mutually beneficient situation.
We're looking for a grouse and you want to make sure that your crew's okay.
If you could give us some information on how to get in there,
I think we could probably help each other out.
And then Zer tries to drink his drink, but his tusks block it.
Just getting used to those, huh?
Ow!
Nope, how'd my whole life.
I remember when I was in my 40s.
Ha ha ha ha!
Right, I agree.
I think we can find something mutually beneficial.
If you're looking for her, I'm still looking for her to finish the job
that she said she was going to do,
which is to lift the curse of this particular outpost.
Uh, I'll make the same offer.
I made her. I'll give the same offer, I made her.
I'll give you a free passage into the mountain
with a guide, you take care of the ghost,
and I'll make it worth your while,
gold armor, weapons, whatever you need.
And if you happen to find the later you're looking for,
you can save her too.
Okay, how about we cut a deal?
Whatever you're thinking about paying us on the back end,
you can cut it in half and just give us the armor
on the front, so, you know, so we're well equipped
while walking in there.
Go ahead and give me a persuasion check.
Five, or five.
Okay.
You see he nods and he goes, yeah,
we can put something together for you.
Uh-huh.
Thank you in advance.
Vodify through in this and I cast a stort value on the Baroness's umbrella.
Ooh.
He says seek weapon.
And reacts, acts afraid of it.
Oh, oh, oh my god, get that thing away from me.
He's going to go ahead and do an insight check.
You see he like flicks it open.
You see a knife comes flying out of it and hits the wall and he goes, interesting, interesting.
I haven't seen something like this before and I like novelty.
Yes, I noticed the mini umbrellas in your cocktail drink.
I do love a cocktail, I do love a tiny umbrella,
and I do love a regular sized umbrella.
You see, he motions for somebody to bring him a quill.
He writes a little notes and stamps it,
and he hands it to you, and he goes,
bring this to any of the blacksmiths,
and they'll help you out. All right, thank you.
We will happily get the rid of some ghosts for you.
We're pretty good at that.
I'd say so.
If you could also write a note for just like general components for alchemy and potions
and whatnot, I would take that off your hands as well.
Don't push it, fair enough.
I actually could use charcoal incense and herbs.
Actually your bartender might have that.
Yeah.
You go behind the bar,
makes you away complicated cocktail
with all those components.
Thank you.
We'll bring back book for the next time.
We can cast Revivify with this.
Who thought should we meet this guide
who's gonna take us into the mountains?
I, you see, motions back to the lady here
and goes, you already met her.
This is Kragel, she'll be taking you into the mines.
And you see she nods.
Kragel, it pleasure I kiss her hands.
Or do I hold my hand out to be kissed?
Is that what I normally do?
She reluctantly gives you a pound.
What is this? my hand out to be kissed is that what I normally do she reluctantly gives you a pound what is my daisy hand
crumbles from the pound close enough she goes all right let's get going and she
pushes past you and she goes meet me by the tunnels in five minutes or I'm
leaving without you five minute Jesus Christ run everyone
everyone Jesus Christ run everyone
Wait, no, if you feel walk everyone else run fuck
You see a huge our waves you guys off as you guys start running out
Craggle goes I'll get the boat ready. Don't leave me waiting. Yes another bolt. I take on my time stop scroll
She goes near where like the different flumes are going into the different tunnels and whatnot. And you see she starts getting set up and starts setting up what is basically like a
keel boat that's almost like a Bob sled.
Cool, that's awesome.
They didn't have this one at boat school.
Guys, go ahead and give me an insight check. As you guys go up to these blacksmiths
to see who you kind of want to work with here.
Oh, yeah, that's a 22.
22?
It's a three.
Let's use that because I got a four on the dice.
Okay, Henry.
They try to go to the gem store.
These are selling gems.
Maybe I could just get like a breastplate made of gems.
The rocks, the rocks.
Henry, you find someone with the southern look
of a Buffalo Bills fan.
Um, that, yeah.
I'm not knowingly.
Looks to make quality armor.
Tough season.
Looks at the notes, kind of just like rolls his eyes
and looks annoyed.
It's the equivalent of somebody like bringing a coupon
to a restaurant or something.
And the guy goes like, fuck me, a a fucking cursed same. What was his name?
He was a huge part of a coupon.
To a coupon? What are you looking for?
Sorry buddy. I know what it's like to be cursed. We're looking for I guess two pieces of plate mail.
You see, uh, goes and measures you guys. I make eye contact the whole time he measures.
goes and measures you guys. I make eye contact the whole time he measures.
I will say that there are slightly magical components to it
that allow it to be like kind of easily resized
to there's basically like an easy cantrip that he can do
that's almost like amending.
So he does a ritual, takes a little bit, you see.
Feels like you're potentially taking a long time. So he does a ritual, takes a little bit, you see.
Feels like you're potentially taking a long time.
In the distance, you see Craggle looks really pissed
that you guys are taking so long, but repurposes
a suit of armor for Henry, repurposes a suit of armor for Fia,
and both of your guys A.C.'s are 18.
Awesome.
I'm noticing you don't have anything in extra slim.
Am I just not seeing that option?
Or I can resize it. What do you want? What you'll drown in anything in extra slim. Am I just not seeing that option or I can resize
it. What do you want? What you'll drown in one of these things. Hey, tell you what,
but I'm going to miss this cape, but I think I think it's going to look real nice on you.
I'm going to give Zirk the cloak. Are you sure? I mean, it would go super well with this
hat and make me look really cool, but are you sure it is gonna look awesome?
And this is also just making amends for, you know, I guess you pushing me for no reason here.
Are you giving them a cloak of protection? Zerke, you get a plus one. Zerke puts it on and then affectionately hits Henry.
There we go.
Fia doesn't understand this and stands at Henry's defense.
It's not fighting.
This made me feel good just in two different ways.
What is your AC right now?
You can wear half plate or a breast plate.
Oh, and the cloak?
Yeah.
I'll just take one of those little breast plates you got over there. That looks like it'll work for me. Great. Yeah.
Put hammers together. A breastplate for you. It's like a metal vest. It's like a vest
plate. That looks like it'll be very fancy on me. So your AC will be 17. Perfect.
Sweet. So you guys get all outfitted. I'm also going to tip this guy three gold from
each of us. He goes three gold for two suits of armor and a breastplate.
Thank you so much, kind sir.
Best plate.
I'll tell you, bud.
Do you have something that you want?
I'm a witch.
Sometimes I can help me.
Yeah, money.
Dreams come through.
Money.
Okay, I'm minor allusion, so money in my hand.
It's just a lesson.
I could have done something cooler for you.
There are things that are cooler than money.
Here's a gold point.
Gold points.
Okay, take it.
Takes a gold piece.
It evaporates in his hands.
Why?
I really like him.
I really like him.
I really like him.
Okay, you give him a real one.
And actually, you know what?
You can use this note to go and get some armor from other blacksmiths.
So.
No, that's a dangerous game.
Oh, a fear of meat skewers.
I like the way you think that might get me killed,
but it also might get me rich.
There you go. Go for glory, you go bills.
You took to that so quickly.
I could also like fancy up your sign a little bit
with some tinkering and some magic.
Just go!
Why did I make an unseen servant leave it here for you?
It will disappear when I'm 60 feet away.
What do you do?
You just put up a sign that's has gone to lunch.
I leave an unseen servant there.
All right, show we go.
Yes, I'm red.
I feel like a little top heavy because of this vest plate, but I guess I got it used to
it.
Yes, it's good. So go to the boat. Yeah, used to it, used to it. You got it on the boat.
Yeah, you guys take some time to don your armor,
you guys are now wearing this kind of like
vicious looking plate mail that is really, really well made.
They just don't do like the polish to it.
They don't make it look really nice,
but it's highly effective.
It looks like I'm wearing like a black top stove
or something.
Sure.
As you guys get near the tunnels, you see there are various workers that are wearing like rubber overalls and stuff like all soaked in water.
They're launching different scrappers like down these different tunnels down these like
log flumes.
They're all going in these like tough wooden cylindrical boats and they're all being shuttled up in different tunnels and you see one like older deep folk
that's like pretty skinny is like trying to help crackle is like all right I
work here let me let me get you all set up she's like stay back all
handle this kind of pushes them back goes like all right all right technically not
allowed but all right she goes get in yeah all right, all right, technically not allowed, but all right. She goes, get in.
Yeah.
All right, I wait to be buckled in by Craggle.
She immediately starts, just pushes off,
and begins taking you guys down a tunnel,
as soon as you get in.
Everybody go ahead and roll initiative.
Oh, okay.
Oh.
Okay.
Nat 20.
She had a 22 crew.
It's a 19.
I have a total of seven.
So I'm gonna tell you guys how this is gonna work.
This is super dangerous.
I'll say, Kragel is yelling this over the sounds
of water and everything.
She just goes, look alive,
beyond the lookout, falling rocks,
various horrors, monsters,
we have to blast by them so they don't stop us.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Could have learned this before we got in the boat,
but all right, let's go.
You guys go into the actual tunnels sliding down.
There's like a drop that takes you into the tunnel.
You begin to slip sliding down.
Henry, you are first.
None of the layer actions have happened yet.
Is there anything you would like to do to prepare?
I'm gonna summon Shank.
You summon Shank?
Okay, that's a bonus action, right? Yes. I'll let you kind of withhold the rest of your turn if you want to just like hold do to prepare. I'm gonna summon Shank. You summon Shank, okay, that's a bonus action, right?
Yes.
I'll let you kind of withhold the rest of your turn
if you wanna just like hold the reaction essentially.
Okay, yeah.
So, first thing that happens is you guys are going straight ahead.
It's super dark, you guys are going super fast.
Cragil takes a tight turn down a tunnel,
rocking into the side of the mountain,
debris falls from the top of the cave.
Last in the initiative, who is Fia,
go ahead and give me a deck saving throw.
You guys are sitting up, but you can be knocked prone
and stuff, it means you get knocked back.
Fia, go ahead and give me a deck saving throw
as debris falls from the top of the cave.
Okay, that is a seven.
A seven, you guys see a giant rock crushes Fia for eight damage,
and Fia is trapped under this big rock.
Like there's a big boulder that just cracked off
and hit the back of the boat, and she yells,
I don't get a fucking watch out.
Sorry.
At initiative 19, that is Zirk.
Can I use Tinkerine to try and create like an aura of light so that we'll have a better sense of what's coming?
Uh sure, yeah.
Zirk you hold out like a magical potion and there is an aura of light that is surrounding the boat.
You see dark tunnels all around you and you see bats like these giant horror bats
are flapping around. Look like they're going to be the next thing to come at you guys. And you see bats, like these giant horror bats
are flapping around,
look like they're gonna be the next thing
to come at you guys.
Is there anything else you wanna do with your turn?
You look at Spritele to attack a bat.
Great, Spritele goes, yeah, you see one vampire bat,
a giant vampire bat, like fucking three feet long
terrifying swoops down and looks like
it was gonna attack you guys on like next initiative. That's a natural one for Sprite. Sprite almost falls into the water.
All right, come back in the boat. Go get your life jacket Sprite.
Add initiative 12. That is the giant vampire bats turn. Giant vampire bats is
just going to bite at sprytle
17 a hit sprytle
That is going to hit sprytle. Okay. Oh, no
12 damage to sprytle that gill sprytle. Sweet sprytle is deanimated. Um sprytle is still alive as a sprite
But you see um this vampire bat just bites through the metal of their carapace.
Aaaaah! Baba! Baba! Baba!
No! Spritele!
A crushes.
You were careful.
Crushes the carapace with its fangs,
and Spritele drops out of the air and crashes into the boat.
It's okay, it can fix this. I can fix this.
Fia, that is your turn. You are restrained under the rock.
Oh, can I use my turn to try to lift up the rock
that's pretty big?
Go ahead and give me an athletics check to try to free Fia.
All right.
That is a 18.
18 does it.
You're able to throw the rock off Fia on your turn.
You pop up, you guys start moving faster.
And you see the bats are kind of falling in the distance
except this one that is like in the boat
with you guys terrifyingly flapping around.
Oh, there is one who's in the boat without...
Oh yeah, the one that just de-animated, uh, Spritele.
Get that one!
Okay.
That's a bad bat!
There's only one...
Okay, I'll just green flame blade in there.
Um, Fia, lights are green flame blade.
Good thing you got this rock off of me.
Thank you, Mr. Henry.
That's what they teach you in boat school.
Rocks are bad. 19 to me. Thank you, Mr. Henry. That's what they teach you in boat school. Rocks are bad.
19 to hit.
19 hits.
13 damage.
Sweet. Still alive. This thing again is like terrifying like three feet long.
Just...
Then I think bookfar needs to enter the equation and I cast Dragon's Breath on bookfar.
Nice. Bookfar, I think it's time for enter the equation and I cast Dragon's Breath on bookfar.
Nice.
Bookfar, I think it's time for you to show your fangs.
You took out my greatest co-star.
You shouldn't have fucking done that.
Turned into a game call.
Get him!
We are a smafer.
Yes, you are Mr. Bookfar.
The bat has to do a deck save.
Okay. Fails. Seven do a deck save. Okay.
Fails. Seven fire damage.
Okay, nice.
Still looks pretty hardy.
Still up there.
Goodness.
After Fias turn, that is another layer action.
Everybody go ahead and give me insight checks.
Are you guys looking all around?
Just chaos.
Bat is in the fucking boat with you just freaking out. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay, you guys all pass. You guys see as you go through the next area of the tunnel
You guys whip through another tunnel again like a Bob sled
Swing through another tunnel and begin to turn you see a
Basilisk
this giant lizard monster
Up against the tunnel like blending in almost like a big chameleon
against the tunnel, like blending in almost like a big chameleon, opens its eye, and you guys instantly remember,
you know, the rules of a basilisk that they can turn you to stone
by meeting their gaze, and none of you look at it.
So none of you need to make a constitution saving throw.
You look away as soon as you see that thing.
Thank God.
And Cragile goes, oh yeah, don't look at that things.
Tell us before we get in the boat.
All right, hold your breath.
Hold your breath at this next part.
God, that is round two.
Henry, you act before the layer action.
You see these sickly purple flowers
all along the sides of this tunnel looking dead.
Begin to look like they're opening up.
These look like some kind of weird flower horrors.
Okay, so I'm just gonna hunker down and try to plug my nose.
So you kind of concentrate on not being affected
by whatever this is.
On initiative 20, these things explode
with this like poisonous pollen.
You guys see like psychedelic effects in the air
in front of you. Everybody go ahead and give me constitution saving throws
Hand on you can make yours with advantage
Think fucking God I rolled in that one
woof woof and then I rolled a 19 wow nice con that's a 27 great good to hold your breath
17 for Zerke only 15 for fear you guys all pass
17 for Zerke only 15 for fear you guys all pass
So you guys all manage to hold your breath and you guys are able to get through this dangerous pollen
I'll say because you guys have this light up a Zerke at an initiative 19 You see the next thing that's coming you see like a swarm of insects rushing towards the boat.
Is it my turn?
It is your turn.
The vampire bat is also still here.
Okay.
Ah!
Ah!
I'm gonna cast Flaming Sphere.
Okay.
I pull out my gun, which I'm very excited
to be reunited with.
You see that I've tinkered with it a little bit
and it's now got like a revolver barrel,
but instead of like an actual barrel,
it's just got like different colored vials attached to it.
So I can like switch and cast spells
with the gun essentially.
Rad.
So I like switch it to like the fire setting
and I just blast this massive flaming spear
out into the middle of all these insects.
Sweet.
Can I use my bonus action to ram it into them?
Yeah, cool, I'll do that.
Sweet, makes it dexave?
Yeah, okay.
19 passes.
That's gonna be seven damage.
Seven fire damage?
Cool.
Seven fire damage is the full damage, by the way.
Oh, so they take like four?
Yeah, four fire damage.
Flaming sphere has moved 30 feet.
As you guys prepare to blow past it on this
Extremely fast Bob sled ice cream somebody handle the bat
That is the bat's turn the bat is you know what the battle go after book far bat is biting at these
No at these familiar just got burned by book far. Okay
That is a 18 to hit book far crown allown all shift, I will not lose my fucking book.
I have 20 to hit him.
16 damage on book far.
Well, book far has one hit point, so.
Whoa!
Alright, no, total.
He's an owl.
He's one hit point.
So he's dead, got it.
Okay, yeah, book far drops, de-animated in the boat.
Okay. Craggle, you should, book far drops, de-animated in the boat. Okay.
Greg, you should have warned us about this malicious bat.
It was here. We were fighting it.
After the bat, everybody go ahead and give me con-saving throws as the swarm of insects reaches the boat.
24.
Uh, 24 passes. Seven.
That is a 15 again.
22 damage to Zirk and 11 damage to Fien Henry.
Okay. That is Fien Henry. Okay.
That is Fias turn.
Okay, I will try to heat the bat.
Okay, 12, I'm guessing he misses.
12 hits.
Oh, wait, no, sorry, sorry.
13 is at SAC.
Oh, we know it was 13 because I have my plus one weapon.
Oh, yeah.
It was 12.
Okay, sorry, I do actually hit it.
12 damage. Looks yeah. It hits. I do actually hit it. 12 damage. Looks hurt still alive. I have a bonus action that that again. Just
biting at all the de-animated familiars. 17 hits of course. Another 13. So 25 total. Super,
super hurt still alive. That is after Fias turn on initiative six you guys view around a corner and are shot out into a cavern
There was a long fall before you crash into another river below everybody go ahead and give me deck saves
23 23 you hang on 13 13
Fia and Zirk you guys both take eight damage and fall prone you guys like fall back into the boat lose your balance
eight damage and fall prone. You guys like fall back into the boat,
lose your balance.
Henry, you hang on, but you do take half of four damage.
You don't fall on the boat.
Craigville's got earpods in.
Craigville, come on!
I'm trying to get bumped up!
You guys see that you have dropped into a large cavern
with a series of other rivers in it.
You see she navigates from one to the other.
You see in the distance with the light
shining from a zirke spell, you can see a tall wall of stone with inlets in it that seem to be
housing some kind of creatures. You see yellow eyes opening up. You see one makes itself seen
from out within one of the inlets. You see a mind flair.
This tentacle mouth made looking monster emerges from one
and holds out its hand before sending a blast
of psychic energy.
Everybody go ahead and give me
a intelligence saving throw.
Guess bitch, I have advantage on this.
You hear crackle shout.
Watch out for the mind flares back there.
Why did we get no prep? We're learning on the fly
I feel like there should have been a brochure or something
We had a growing grill you kind of asking a lot of her. She's kind of like taking us and like she's driving
She's like I'm leaving it five minutes. Not even lunch. She's eating her lunch right now. It's a working lunch
What do you want me to do?
Storves to share at least.
What did everybody get?
23.
19.
16.
Everybody passed.
So nobody takes any damage because this would have been
psychic damage.
So you see this like strange monster.
I worship the old gods.
You have fun with that, buddy.
But tell me more, this is the best thing.
I shall destroy you with psychic energy. I have great lore the elder gods
Um, and you guys just blow past it
That was actually initiative 20 Henry if you would like to act
Your turn actually technically should have been first. Oh, all right
You know, I'm gonna swing I'll swing at this bat. I'm gonna see what I can do great. Yes, please do please
That is an 18 to hit the bat 18 hits the bat
Just flapping around bleeding everywhere. I'm gonna treat it like a fly like I'm not even trying to swipe it with my claws
I'm trying to clap kill that goddamn bat
That is 10 damage on my first attack on death story. Okay. Oh, no, please that's only a 12 on my second attack
Mrs. I'm going to I'm gonna unleash shank. Whoa nice shank defend our friends children
They're all dead
Defender honor then that is a 23 23 hits
Dead defend their honor then that is a 23 23 hits
There we go and that is 15 damage from shank. Shank goes up. I goes my fellow Familiers I shall tear this vampire badass under as you have been torn as under
Ah and
Shank just rips the bats wings off and throws it into the cave. Shank you are truly the best of us. That was beautiful
Yet another great chapter to your tragedy
Zurk that is your turn
you see
coming up you see a
Round green monster with long tentacles with eyes at the end of each one the eyes are glowing it looks like it's going to
long tentacles with eyes at the end of each one. The eyes are glowing, it looks like it's going to take shots at you guys. It does not look like it's chasing you though. It looks
like it's going to take a couple shots, but that's it.
Well, now that our greatest foe, the bat has been defeated. I guess I'll just cast Fire
Bolt on the eye that's closest to me.
Okay, go ahead and make an attack. 13. 13 does not hit.
You see them.
Shoots off.
Bolt of fire goes by this thing.
Lighting up this cavern as you see more yellow-wise
opening in these little inlets.
OK, there's a lot of cool, interesting things up here.
So get ready to enjoy them before they believe us again.
After Zirk, that is that monster's turn.
It's called a spectator.
It is going to take two shots. First one at Zirk, I is that monster's turn. It's called a spectator. It is going to take two shots.
First one at Zirk, I roll randomly on this little table here
to see what kind of beam is coming at you.
Fear Ray.
Target must succeed on a DC 13 wisdom saving throw
or be frayed for one minute.
You can repeat the saving throw
at the end of each of your turns, any of the effect.
So you see, beam comes out of this thing's eyes.
Zirk, you see flashes of your worst fears.
Children with lead pipes popping out of the cage,
bashing you in the head.
First furgus, no, children,
everyone's trying to hit me in the back of the head.
That's going to be a 15.
Passes, Zirk, you are immune to this.
Does not affect you.
Eye beam goes at fia
Fia You get the paralyzing ray go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw
16 16
Fia you pass you guys just blow by these
These two dudes wait no, we have so much excellent lore
Who made you this way?
20 elder gods Who came to this way? 20 elder gods
Who came to this planet from far away a world older than our own?
Well, I'm losing you in the tunnel with the rapids
Do you have a brochure? Does anyone have a brochure?
Then that is Fias turn
Fias there's nothing in the boat right now you do a perception check if you want to see
What is coming next? Yes, I will do so.
Shout out to the two crew.
So that's going to be a five.
Cool, you do not see what's going on here.
You're just going down this river.
Is there anything you want to do to prepare?
I guess I will do a bless on everyone.
Okay, you cast bless on everyone. You
guys have seen these mind flares and these spectators and stuff. Often the distance
just shooting long range at you guys. You guys see one, no clothes, just nude and
just kind of monstrous bursts out of the river ahead of you guys and attempts to
tether themselves to the boats by latching onto Henry with a tentacle.
Hey, hey, no, no, don't rock the boat.
There is so much lore for us to reveal the old gods from the old planet.
Tell it to another boat.
Henry, give in to it. I want to hear the lore.
Yeah, if you can just hold out for like five minutes. I'm sure that's all they need.
Once there was a worm worm the worm was very smart
Oh, the worm had a million of worm babies and all of those babies had a
Planets and from there were born the older gods
And became very
Long-winded I don't think it's gonna be worth our time
Only a 15-and, you see the dude just,
like jumps up terrifying,
the old God swings that Henry,
just fully misses, overshoot,
and just lands in the river,
and just like,
does not make it out of the boat,
you guys blow past.
That was my arm for a second.
I'm just like,
ah, gross.
But it travels warm water here. That is the end of three rounds, You guys blow past my arm for a second. I'm just like gross
That is the end of three rounds you guys do not have to fight this mindflayer because it did not successfully get on to your boat
Moving too fast you guys reach the end of this cavern that had all these mindflayers and stuff in it
You guys take another bump you fall like a 10 feet down. You see the river begins to kind of flatten out and calm down. You see Cragill pull some kind of break mechanism
and you guys jolt to a halt like banging your heads.
Hang on everybody.
You set that way too late.
Before you, okay, it's fine.
It's fine.
Why wouldn't he just be hanging on?
You should just be alert.
Always be alert.
I kind of like your style.
I agree with you.
I'm sorry, I side with Cragill.
Right. You know, I don't hate it. I'll be like your style. I agree with you. I'm sorry, I side with Kragel.
Right.
You know, I don't hate it.
I'll be able to sail better with Kragel next time.
There was a lot we learned on the job.
Very.
All right, come on.
Let's go deal with this fucking ghost, right?
All right.
I'm out of food.
Kragel pulls the boat up to a rocky, flat bed of dirt near
another series of tunnels.
It looks like you'll be traveling on foot for a bit.
And as you walk, as you follow her,
you begin to see the remnants of mine cart tracks
and like old picks and mining equipment covered in debris.
And you are reminded of the conversation you had
with Lesgrove earlier about the mining outpost
that was suspiciously destroyed in a cave in
and you realize that this is likely the place.
The tunnel looks like it was larger at one point but cave-dinn and has since been half dug out.
The space gets more narrow as you are surrounded by debris and as you had deeper you begin to feel a chill.
Just as you did when you were in the Thorn Kirk catacombs and you felt the
presence of the broken heart banshee, Sadie Bellwater, but as this chill washes over
you, you don't feel just one vengeful ghost, you feel an army of malice as if
breathing in the collective fury of a thousand angry spirits.
And you hear the sounds of destruction, like the sounds of like a giant monster moving
boulders around.
And you see, Kragogos, come on, it might already be too late.
Russia's down the tunnel.
She's faster than fear.
Impossible.
Fuck, I think we're going into a battle. I hope this
is not a waste. I will cast Blink on myself and chase after her. You cast Blink on yourself. You
raise down this tunnel and you see that it's like the other towns opens up into a huge cavern inside
which you see the wreckage of deep poke settlements.
You see rocks and debris from the top of the cave have broken off and crashed into the
village below crushing buildings.
Some of them are completely leveled.
Others are just hollowed out with like the roofs missing. You don't see any humanoids here. All you see is a giant ghostly dragon
roaring and searching for its prey. Oh fuck and that's where we'll end our session. Oh
Ghost Dragon ghost dragon. You sneaky son of a bitch, all these episodes, and you still got tricks.
You know, I love it.
A ghost dragon baby.
Wow, so a lot to discuss,
a lot to discuss on the short rest.
Yeah guys, head on over to our patreon patreon.com slash
nadpod that's NADD, POD don't sing yet.
Wee, TLS to our short rest.
Does anybody have anything they would like to plug?
I got a weird one.
Oh. Amir and I got a weird one.
Amir and I launched a dating app.
So what?
If you're in the market.
What?
That's really what?
Yeah, yeah.
But it was coded by somebody we know.
McPucks built it.
All right.
So yeah, it's called Orion.
You can find it if you search Orion dating on your Android
or Apple iTunes store. Cool. Everyone's checking in there. I'm married, but okay, I'll check
it out. I'm married too, but I'm on. I remember if I're looking for a third, so.
Perfect. There you go. Orion dating. Check it out. Does anybody have anything else? I think
I can almost top how wild that plug was
with some of the stuff in the PO box.
Right on. Let's hear it.
Derek sent us an actual cum button.
Whoa!
Oh! Of course it's from A-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- the noise. Yeah. Is that one of us? I think that's me making a I'm coming voice from the
missed episode of 8-bit book club. Great. I like that top much. Wow. It's really there.
We met you. We met you. Appreciate it. Somebody else, man. yeah, the PO box was on one this time.
Somebody sent us a DVD copy of the slap.
Oh, that was so funny.
We had to last the slap.
You came, version.
Okay.
Wow.
If this was you, do not tell me,
I want the sender's identity to remain a mystery forever.
Let's see, Rasa sent us a shout out
to the Blue Crew Face mask pack from their store.
I can check out a serene store on Etsy for nerdy dice bags and pencil cases.
Oh, Brandon C sent us some handmade dice.
I promise not to get too much of my stink on them if possible.
Let's see, oh, Lizzy T sent us a character-specific spell card binders.
They're ornate and gorgeous.
I think Beverly's has the Paladin symbol
and blazing on it.
They look like they're made with this like faux leather.
They're really cool.
You can follow at Lizzy Trednick with two ends
to inquire about getting your own.
Sweet.
We've also got, oh, Marissa C sent Merff some
rechargeable batteries for his recording device.
Whoa.
Thank you.
So yeah, both us and the environment,
thank you for that one.
Such a practical gift, I love it.
Yeah, it's very nice.
Please, please.
Campbell M. since some D20 Friendship bracelets
and the album art for Onyx's hit single,
Rough Featuring Niant,
which apparently is the anti-smooth by Rob Thomas.
We do.
Which I think is a joke we made at some point.
Sure.
Sure.
Sounds about right.
Yeah.
The entire H at Natural Link Art,
since a nice letter and a huge pack
of breath of the wild stickers.
They also sent some cute mushroom stickers
from their wife Emily, aka at Quest for the Beasties.
Yeah, so thank you all so much for sending us
that lovely stuff.
When I get stuff in the PO box, it makes me go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I couldn't barely hear it, but it bet it'll sound good in the PO box, it makes me go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Can barely hear it, but it bet it'll sound good in the recording.
Oh, big.
Okay.
So, thank you all so much for listening.
You can follow us all on various social media that we may or may not use.
I'm at the Perth Emily's adiacs for Jake is at Jake Herwits and called these.
Caldwell is at Caldee and you can tweet about the show using hashtag nat pod that's any DDPOD.
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us all, let's get right to it.
Raddy, Jeffrey S. Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. Deep Folk teens who made off with
Zerks' share of the gold. Fortunately, they decided to donate the gold to charity. Unfortunately,
the charity is an organization that buys cigars for children. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B.
Crooks blacksmiths who specialize in making the ugliest armor possible.
One time, Cutter W made a breastplate that looked like the hood of a Toyota Corolla.
But it did the wear plus 10 AC, so they couldn't complain.
I get it.
Shoe with the mushroom.
Daniel the Dastridly Dame, Andrew M. Beardman Dan and Scott D. Mindflare
photographers who took pictures of the third mates during their perilous log ride and now
plan on terrorizing the crew until they pay for a framed memento.
That's all they get ya.
Danny P. Mixologist Michael McD. Valnor's boy. Andrew B. and Kevin S. Cugnuck's siblings.
Unlike their rowdy brother, these precious, deep-folk children were already all passed out
in their beds when the third Mates came.
They were passed out from drinking too much stolen whiskey, but it's adorable nonetheless.
Justin I. Ragnar Faredwind. TJ M. the gnome barbarian.
Elena M. and Trayla the Cray-Fay.
Other blades who look the flames during their initiation rituals.
Apparently it's very common, and according to a rumor that Zirk is trying to start,
a sign of deep respect to the trickster.
Hmm, wise.
Jared E. Austin Bonesaw MR, Damial R, and Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald.
The familial killers, a group of assassin DMs who specialize in murdering pets and side
kicks so that their players will stop goofing around.
Harsh, Trash the Traveler, Sir Carl, Jory S, Dana G, Calum L, and Ryan.
Bartender Warlocks. To gain their immense knowledge of craft cocktails,
they were all forced to make a pact with a dark god, and also pay $159 for two, three hour
instructional courses. Wow. Worth it, Jack L. Flulless Whale. Temporal. Sam L. Nicholas C. and
Reese NS. Log Flume Guides guides who meticulously describe everything coming up.
Turns out, it's actually annoying.
Who would have thought?
Mike H. Byron Murphy likes to drink curfee.
Matthew E. Colton B. and Adam G.
The housekeeping staff at the Earth and Ale Inn,
who are so confused about the completely decimated pillows
Fia has been sending back.
Mateo C.
Any badger?
Panama James.
Cummins the Bard.
Adrian the Halfling Bard and Dan.
The deep folk PTA who have had it up to here with their misbehaving deep teens and are
considering taking their lead pipes away as punishment.
I would be in support of that. Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty.
Cece Lulu and Jay.
Honest hardworking journalist for the West precinct Gazette,
whose morale is plummeting ever since the deep-folk knockoff artist
have been doing a better job copying their papers.
I mean, you just can't argue with the quality.
Barnes & Aitor.
Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Crock-Waring Warrior, and Lucas B.
Imagineers who listen to Murph's fucked up log flume ride and have made the decision
to change Splash Mountain into Zelbaldar 7 fucked up adventure.
Can't wait to ride it, folks.
Aaron S. Kevin M. Hoggfishes Above Average Hog.
New York and Steven C. Mind Flayer lore bards who sing the tales of the rich lore of their
mind-flayer people. Unfortunately, they eat the memories of their audience afterwards,
so they've never gotten a good review or even a review at all. Tragic. KJ, Rahul Inn.
Mike K, Maxwell C, and Karen J.
Employees at the mall who cast detect thoughts on FIA
while she cast detect thoughts,
essentially hijacking her spell
and giving them access to the thoughts of their boss,
who they would be so fired by if they spied on themselves.
Good plan.
Nick W, Taylor A, Matthew R. and Esmi M.
Owners and operators of cave within a cave excursions,
which explores the many caves inside the cave system
of Zelbaldar.
The insurance to keep the business running is insane,
considering about one out of every three excursions
is knocked out and robbed.
Nathan, Kazemir, the all-knowing, big,in', big bad beard of the mad, and Jack Mehoff, woo!
Cocktail artisans at the mall!
If you refer to them as bartenders, you will be promptly beaten by goons.
Fair.
Early T, J. Dragonborn, Joe Rowe, the Innopropro, woo!
Liam D and the San Drain.
The safety technicians on the Crooks log flume, had anything
bad to follow in the third mate's, rest assured, one of these guys would have been written
up.
BNA, Feldonis, Dave H, Koala Bear and Catherine S, a gang of 40 year olds even more fearsome
than the hooligans Zurk ran into.
These guys would have stolen everything and left him dangling
on a stalactite with a brutal atomic wedgie.
Oh, what could have been?
David K. Christian S. Dustin S. Keith K. The Timewalker. And Emilio D. Season Travelers who have
collected every deep-filtre postcard, including an original Zelbald R7 print that features a young
Lusgar R in his wild 40s knocking over a mailbox.
Ah, what a time.
Frankie Koala, Big Bad John, Aston S, Blair, the Bug Blair Marblearian, whoo, Portchop and
Channiel M, keepers of the lore of the old gods.
Each of these Ys were mages is more verbose and boring than the last.
The Lacy Raptor, Alice, Menette F, Pat L, A Chuta A, and Lauren H.
Concerned parents in Zellable Dar who created a group called Keep Kids Out of Caves.
Unfortunately, its anagram was Coc.
So, they were quickly bullied out of existence by the
same kids they were trying to save.
Tragic but necessary.
Elias Hawthorn, Maddie Y, Alex H, the eldest Barry, Ryan S, and the BOWNDUSTER.
Cryptocurrency majors who use their powers to duplicate bitcoins.
The market is absolutely fucking wild in Elder
Morn.
Oh boy.
Joshua H. Robot Crisps. Yiddressil. Brently Sea. Micah B. And Bloops.
Makers of Green Apple Fire Candy. The only candy that looks like Green Fire. They are currently
being sued by Zirk for damages. Carly Ann, Laurie P, Connor Savage, Russell L, Christopher J. O, Logan S, and Leviathan.
Fear some barbarians who all got their ass kicked by mean deep folk tweens.
Thankfully, none of them were carrying vials of magical blood, so they just got regular
robbed.
Huff, dodged a bullet.
Dimea, Bioquart 7, Kinney, Remington CD, Amber K, and Everett P.
Deep folk children who don't beat up and rob people.
Instead, they spend their time doing slightly nobler hobbies, like smoking cigars and drinking
cognac.
Trub, Hobdropper, Jesse DLR, The Element God, Lindsay W, Champ Wild, and Valin.
Set the record for people cramped into a zelbaldar transporter.
It didn't work, but the record is for how many people fit in there, not how many got
transported, okay?
Okay, get off her back!
Jeez.
Carl and C, Anthony S, Sally S, and Tristan C, the goose.
Jouler selling legit gyms at the crux.
It's a tough gig because the fake gyms are cheaper and more glittery, but at least
they can always pivot to hawking Yeti meat if things don't work out.
There's always Yeti meat.
Jake, Emily S. The new petty king of outer borough, C.C.
Matthew J.
Scriptsripper, and Zane C.
Tickrers who invented the log flume at the crux. It was based on their pneumatic tube
male systems in Zelbaldar and then they had the great idea to just add water. Michael S. the
bone duster. Noah, Wyatt B. Estelle, and Rogue Cree. Henry Jr.'s best friends at his new school,
the West precinct military academy for unwanted sons from previous marriages.
Ironically enough, their mascot is a hogfish.
Daniel Inn, Baron S. aka Soastian's romance partner from the Baronies, Mr. Dude Sky, conflicted
DM, and Justin L.B.
Creators of the West precinct Funnies, together they came up with such brilliant cartoons as
horror-filled and reapered. Love reapered. Precinct Funnies. Together they came up with such brilliant cartoons as Horriffeld and Reep
Burt. Love Reep Burt.
Connor P. Dandy, Jennifer R. Clifton A. Reverend Chatterbones and Richard G. Mind Flares who desperately
want to binge your ear about their lore. Most people ignore them because they don't want
their mind flayed, but some just feel like their stories can be… a lot.
Yeah.
Imbarber, Marcos P, Pup Kalish, and learns the balance druid.
Henry's boat school instructors, they taught invaluable lessons like not touching the bottom
or the side.
Imbarber also taught Henry how to navigate by the stars, but he's kind of forgotten that
one.
Sorry.
And that is all of our shoutouts.
Thank you all so so much for your continued support and patronage.
We deeply appreciate you and we've been the knee,
and we will remain bent until we see you here next week.
Farewell!
That was a Hate Gum podcast.