Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 3: Broken Heart Banshee

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

Our new heroes join a bar brawl and begin to investigate the mysterious spirit that is hunting the Rooks. Fia sees a pool for the first time, Zirk does some crustacean-based alchemy, and Henry reveals an impressing living situation. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Rowdy Crowd" by xtrgamr at Freesound.org."Demigod" by Emily Axford. "Broken Heart Banshee" by Emily Axford. "The Baron's Estate" by Emily Axford. "Henry's House" by Emily Axford. "The Children" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign, after the campaign, this is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody! Oh, hey! Oh, hey!

I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz, Hank Hogfish. Oh, switching the Hank. Nicknamed time. Emily Axford. Fia Bonquinia. Oh, no. It's the self-made mage of Paige page and blade who lives in an abandoned train. Woohoo!

We love it. Honk if you're bonk. And of course called well-tanner. Zonk for vain! Investigator of the recently dead and creator of bets from a hat on his head. Nice. Very nice. Gang, let's go ahead and do a little recap.

So last time we began our adventure with Zirk resuscitating an injured sprites. After a successful lowercase CPR, the sprite was brought back to life and the crime scene was taken over by Inspector Marcy and the town watch. Together, you headed to Fias Train, Car Tiny House, and there you realized that you all had connections to the mysterious horror known only as the Prophet.

Zirk through Dr. Nebel, Fia through her mentor who disappeared under similar circumstances, and Henry who was once attacked by the Prophet who attempted to sever his shadow from him before he could escape. You realize that the next step was to find Dr. Neville's intended destination and headed to speak to the rooks at Black Thorn Hall. There, you met Sibb, who demanded a hundred gold for saving Zerke's life. Sorry, Zonk's life. Thank you.

But settled for having Henry, sorry, Hank, fight for them in the boxing ring. Or Hank. Meanwhile, Fia Bugenia. for having Henry, sorry, Hank fight for them in the boxing ring. Or Hank. Meanwhile, Fia Bognia, sorry, I mean Fia Bognia, and Zonk met with the leader of the rooks, Madame Whitlock, who offered to give up Nebles' destination in exchange for some help dealing with a horror that was apparently hunting her associates. You followed one of her bodyguards to a meatlocker where you found the victim of one of the horror attacks and discovered that his heart was missing.

Then a mysterious spirit killed the bodyguard in the same fashion and animated meat hooks to attack you. After narrowly escaping, you rushed to the second floor balcony where you saw Henry hot off a two-fight winning streak about to lose to the sadistic brute Fergus Whitlock Fia managed to keep Henry on his feet with a clutch guidance spell But the magic was seen by the ref who called the fight off Furious the crowd began calling for Henry's blood and Fergus was only too happy to oblige as he lifted him by the neck over the corner of the ring And that is where we are now great So we will start with Henry. Henry, you feel Fergus's grip,

tighten around your throat as your feet leave the ground. You get tunnel vision. As you see, fights breaking out in the crowd and the crowd goes blurry. Fergus is red-faced. Just face to face getting close to you. Just enjoying watching the life go out of your eyes. Just a sadistic, sadistic dude.

He's red-faced with a vein bulging in his forehead as he chokes you. But you see hovering behind him is the old man, the same one you've seen before. Dark circles under his intense stare, wispy white hair, and this time, the whites of his eyes have turned completely black. As you begin to fade from consciousness,

as the world goes dark, your eyes stay focused on the figure, whose face begins to smooth, as his hair turns from white to salt and pepper. This figure looks just like you, but with eyes of pure shadow. The fuck? And in a flash. You let out a choking gasp, suddenly free of Fergus's grip. You have switched

places with the figure who has now disappeared, leaving only a shadow behind. You see Fergus grasping at nothing as the crowd goes wild around him. It takes you a moment to get your bearings. You see Sib in the corner goes, hey, cool trick dude. Get the fuck out of here! Yeah, okay, I will do that. Fuck. Fia and Zirk, meanwhile, up on the second floor balcony. Go ahead and give me a perception checks. Well, up on the second floor balcony, go ahead and give me a perception checks. 18. Ooh, 18 for me as well.

Awesome. The perception twins up on the second floor. Nice see what you did there. You see Henry switch places with his shadow, out of Fergus's grip, suddenly free through some kind of magical means. You had no idea Henry had any kind of magical ability. You see members of the crowd jumping into the ring,

getting into fights. You see Fergus looks around for Henry for a second, but then just grabs a random dude, it starts fighting him. It's just kind of immediate chaos. With an 18 perception, you see that the source of this bar fight is not entirely natural. It's not all centered around the boxing ring because it has spread throughout

the entire venue even up here on the second floor. And you spot an invisible presence, tossing bar stools and adding to the chaos, egging people on and causing the fight to spread. And you can safely assume this is the same spirit you ran into in the meat locker And you do see amongst the crowd up here is Madam Whitlock who is flanked by a bunch of our goons looks to be heading for an exit through the kitchen Okay, this spirit seems like it's Having fun and just playing pranks right now, but it does have the ability to just fully and pranks right now, but it does have the ability to just fully zoot someone's heart right out their body. So we should probably deal with that.

Okay, I mean, we need to know from Madam Whitlock, we just engaged in a deal with her and she has not delivered her end of the deal because we have not delivered the information to her. Do you think we should track her down? I wonder, I mean, Henry just did something magical in school, so. There's chaos all around you

So we can't really make plans everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Okay Six nine 16 you see as you guys are discussing whether or not you should talk to Madame Whitlock you see she is exiting With a bunch of rooks You see a a dude holding a bunch of darts, lock size with Zerke, he goes, Hey, what the fuck are you looking at, huh? What are you looking at?

All sorts of stuff. Throws a darn at Zerke's head. Huh. Mrs. So bad, almost hits Madame Whitlock as she's going by, just like misses you by like five feet. You see she pulls out her parasol, opens it, and the dart catches inside of it. She pulls it back up and twirls it.

My parasol does not do that. In fact, it would let's in a decent amount of rain if I'm being honest. Room to grow, let's work on that. And you see another dude cracks a bottle and goes up to fear. You bring in books, you got all kind of books at the bar People all the time because for you you have so many friends guess what my fucking books talk to me So eat my ass. This is a losing battlefield tries to stab you

Reading a book and a bar is cool. It's what cool people do get hit Don't die on this hill. Seven to hit you see as He goes to stab you with this broken bottle. You see Volk launches off your belt Starts biting his arm. Ah, I fucking hate books. I hate books. I guess thank you, Volk Henry down on the ground B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- face. Okay brass knuckles are also cheating to be perfectly fair. It's not a section fight anymore. You're a real cheater. What I'm doing right now is fine. Okay. What I'm doing right now is totally above the belt. Yeah this is totally a fair fight then. Spits on you and just swing at you. Um tend to hit Mrs. Big Time. That is Zirk. First of all, I hate to be selfish, but I am gonna cast Cure Woon on myself

because I have four HP. That makes a lot of sense. So I'm gonna do that. And then can I, after casting Cure Woon's, just book it over towards where Madam Whitlock was, trying to talk to her? Yeah, you see she is hurrying with bodyguards at her side, and as soon as you get close enough to her,

they shield her and a couple guys grab you and go hey this one's coming for the boss! oh oh oh oh I have information I know what's causing this um you see madam witlock pushes the goons out of the way and she goes you what did you find there's a spirit it's that's what's been taking all the hearts of your your employees all your goons they have their heart stolen. Did they wrong someone? What happened? What caused this? Like, this is clearly a vengeful spirit,

and now it is making a mess of this bar. She grabs you by the collar. We're a fucking gang. We have wronged a ton of people. You figure it the fuck out and figure it out fast before this thing gets my heart, and this information dies with me. Th, throws you back, uh, she and her dad, uh, exit down the hall. I turn back to Fia and say, okay, part one done.

Uh, now we gotta figure out how to kill it. Okay, I see. Wow, she's asking a lot for us for a tiny piece of information. We gotta get some sort of litigator on our team. I'm going to have her throw in the parasol, of course, when we get this deal. Fia, that's your turn. Okay, then I will just take my great sword on the one who hit me

and I will use a green flame blade to have fire a leap to the one throwing darts at Zerg. Okay, great. Don't worry about him, his name's terrible. Hey, you see one guy throwing darts. Another guy using a broken bottle. Fiya just whips out a fucking sword and tries to end this dude. Is this wrong?

Can I misread this situation? You escalated it. 23 to hit. Uh, super hits. Okay, 10 damage and then four fire damage to the dark guy. You see, just completely... Non-leaf all damage, I guess. We see the one dude's throwing darts.

Other dude is using a bottle. The Pia just slices this dude across the chest with a great sword and then sets another dude on fire. and you see that it does seem to escalate the violence. You see like more dudes breaking bottles and coming forward. Okay, no of an attack. That was wrong. I'm sorry, I only attacked you because I only have one spell yet left and I'm assuming I'm going to use it to heal some of them. You heard that, she apologized. If you attack her, you're in the wrong. Tell her to apologize for breaking books to the someone. You heard that, she apologized. If you attacker, you're in the wrong. Tell her to apologize for bringing books to the bar.

It's still about that. I attack you with a sword and you're still mad about the books. Okay, this town, this is why I don't come into town often. Henry, that is your turn. Okay, I pat my bloody tank top to make sure that I'm solid and a real person. Okay, that feels... Yep, you're all together?

Sturdy vascular, okay. Wow, you get hot at every episode. Just a little bit. Damn, the definition in Henry's cheekbones is really coming through after you. After it's been beaten up so much. So I see this guy is in front of me. So you were down kind of completely in the mix,

so you aren't really aware of what's going on with the spirit, but you see that there are like 17 different fights going on that have combined into one. So it's not everyone trying to kill you. It's like you've gotten this guy on you that's trying to kick your ass, and then it looks like you've got like a couple other people that you would need to like kick past. This is just like a swarm of people.

I guess I've been boxing. I'm gonna try to punch this dude that's punching me. Great, don't forget that. Add that plus one. Ooh, don't mind if I do. That makes my not one or two. Oh boy. It's not it. Yeah. With big time. That makes sense.

As you punch and kind of lean forward. You are pushed by someone from behind and land directly in this dude's brass knuckles. Ow. This is legal. This is honorable. It's not a sanctioned fight. Give me the other one.

Give me the other one and it'll be even. That is the bar brawl's turn. Oh dear. A dude tries to punch you in the back of the head, Henry. The same one from behind you. This is just like a whole crowd. This is a swarm of humans. Right.

Wait, no, how about me and you, versus the guy with the knuckles, right? That is a 13 to hit. That does not. Does not hit. Okay. Swings and misses. You duck out of the way and square up with this person.

Zerk, that is your turn. You see just more people kind of piling in. You guys kind of fight your way out of here. I think Zirk looks around and sees everybody breaking glass bottles and he sheds a tear because Zirk is a glass blower and to break glass is abhorrent in his eyes. You see, one dude just breaks a glass for fun.

He doesn't even take anybody. He's just in the corner of breaking glasses. The fuck? Do you have any idea how long it takes to make glass? I wish there were plastic bottles here. I love that it's sporting events when there's a plastic bottle because they don't trust me not to start a fucking fight.

It's wasteful, but I understand it. Psh, psh, psh. Psh, psh. Yeah, I'm going to fire off a crossbow bolt. I'm gonna like get one that is studded and that doesn't have like an arrow tip on it and just blast it and then just kind of run forward I guess. My goal here is to try and make it to the banister and then try to slide down the banister. Okay sure. Go ahead and make your shot with your

crossbow. I'm just going to be an eight. Uh, eight does not hit. Crossbow bolts. Uh, flies off. Breaks a beautiful bottle. You see a beautiful glass blown bottle behind the bar. Uh, shatters. Uh, it had sand in it. Beautiful sand art. The sand goes everywhere. Uh, hey, don't worry.

Destruction is the other side of creation. If anything, it is just creating a vacuum for you to fill with more art. That's a good way to look at it, but also everybody, if you're not wearing shoes, be careful. And I realized I did not attack you guys all the time. You guys all get attacked by the bar brawl. So after a zirc smashes the bottle, you see another guy comes up to you with a bar stool, Zurker goes, what are you gonna be so fucking destructive? Try to slam a bar stool into you.

Ooh, terrible roll, 11 to hit. Just misses. Toss is the bar stool. It flings, it hits a bunch of soda bottles that were set up. They all smash and break. It just seems excessive at this point. You see the dude with the darts turns towards Fia

and just starts chucking darts at her. Okay, I'm sorry that I took out a sword. I understand this is wrong. That's a 16 to hit, Fia. That is my AC. Six damage. And I rolled a Nath one on my concentration check. So you no longer have a plus two to AC is Dr. Zerke.

Yikes. Okay. Oh, last. Loose is the concentration. That is Fias turn. Okay. If this is mob mentality, is this almost as if it's one creature? Could I cast command on the entire bar brawl? Yes. Holy shel. Dr. Zirk, I am going to use my last spell, so please don't die. No promises. My bones are made of brittle, brittle glass. That's why I love it so.

Okay, then, I will do that. I will try to cast command on this entire mob of people fighting. And I think the command, I can give the command to flee, but I kind of just want to give the command to chill. Okay. Everybody, chill. Cool it. Fear, you stand up on the banister over the balcony.

Shout for everyone to chill. You hear it echoes with magical projection, and they're going to roll a group Wisdom saving throw they need to get a 13 or higher to resist. Come on. Oh Just cool it everyone just cool it everybody chill. Relax That is a 12 You see throughout the bar all these people are punching the shit at each other, just like picking up stools and breaking it on each other's backs, next to you Henry, the dude with the brass knuckles has you by the collar and is about to sock you with

the brass knuck straight to the nose. Do it! And it just goes,'re for a good fight And pulls you in for a big hug and you see throughout the bar everyone's like that was a fucking hell of a fight That was amazing I see the dude that you cut across the chest Fiya Looks at a stomach and sees this giant bleeding wound wound goes you're fucking crazy. You know that That's a crazy fucking part of every minute. I think I see how successful this is when I try to push the boundaries and say love each other Everyone we all need to be a nice or do each other

Yeah, you see Broken bottle guy Put his arm around darts guy Wow, it looks it looks like there's this like post fight camaraderie Like all of a sudden one person starts laughing and then everybody starts laughing and it's this kind of manic energy of All these people that went through this insane thing together. Our posterity sake, command is only one round.

Okay, Zirk and Henry, you had heard Fia kind of echo through the bar. You know that this is a 10 US piece that might not last super long. I also didn't use my action, so now I'm gonna use my action to move as close to the door as possible. Sweet. Yeah, they part the way for you. Say I nod to everyone as I go, being really chummy. Hey.

Great flight. See you guys. We all get along. Hi. We're amazing. Yeah, hi. I'm via bunking. Yeah.

Cool. Yeah, maybe we should stick around for a little bit. We got some pretty drinks from these guys, I think. Mr. Henry, this is not going to last. Maybe we should stick around for a little bit. We get some free drinks from these guys, I think. Mr. Henry, this is not going to last. This dude seems to really like me. Hank, we gotta go. Mr. Henry, I hate to say this.

He doesn't like you, he's under our spell. We had a fair fight outside of the ring. You came out here. It was just two dudes. One guy at Brass Knuckles, the other one didn't, and it already had three fights, but it was a fair fight right down the middle. That's right.

Everything was above four. Just feel like the more they talk, the more they're gonna stumble upon the actual logic of what happens, we should go, okay. Okay, let's get the hell out of here. This guy is acting weird. I grab Henry's arm and say, this man hit his head very hard

and needs a full medical evaluation. Let's hear it for Hey, hey, Kog Henry go ahead and give the Christmas check That's a four I Raise I raised my hand up in the air triumphantly here a golf clap From like two people. It's because they're busy falling good love with each other

Yeah, they're just too chill to clap. I understand. You see Fergus has not been affected by the spell and is still beating the shit out of somebody in the ring. And you see Sib in the ring just being like, get the fuck outta here. Go, go, okay. I don't know how to go.

Bye everybody. Let's go. Go, go, go. Just with, all right, yeah. We'll call you. I thought it'd be rude to say, to leave without saying goodbye. There's just one huge Hank fan in the back just like, woo!

It's, yeah! It's not glass Willie, is it? It's, yeah, you see. It is Willie. Willie is clapping. Yeah. I salute him. He kicked my ass. Wow! See you tomorrow boss!

Um, yeah, we go. Yeah, so you guys all rush out of there, just as you hear. Hey, you're hugging me too tight, fucker! And you hear somebody get sucked. And they all start punching each other again. You just hear a huge brawl. We had a just too low level to have saved them all. One day.

And yeah, you hear them all fighting in the background immediately back to chaos. What would you all like to do back to the train? We could also go to another bar or something. Yeah, you know, I think I've had enough bars for now. We can go back to the train. That sounds pretty good. I could rest. Is there anything to, so Madam Whitlock wants us

to figure out who did this? Is there anything to, I mean, I could definitely use some sort of rest, but I would love to just get right to investigating what the fuck is happening to her people. Thea, do you think that that book might have some information about the horror we say? Yes, I was thinking of consulting the guardian of the Grove to find out about missing card.

That seems like the best place to start. Maybe I think Fia would be too impatient to find out, so I think Fia will just plop down under a tree and start reading. Alright. I mean, it's quiet out here, yeah. Get the picnic blanket. You guys pull out a cloak and make a little picnic blanket. You guys give some distance between you guys and the black thorn in case like Fergus comes

busting out the door and wants to kill Henry or something. I think it's kind of fun actually to be watching from afar, the black thorn, just like watching the chaos go down a little bit in the distance. Yeah, you see it. Yeah, exactly. You just hear everybody fighting and you also see like a small fire. I love people watching. There was a lot of horses inside that bar, that's strange.

Just watching them run out. As you all sit around and consult this book and kind of fill Henry in on what's going on. Jesus, meat hooks, like animated meat hooks, that sounds fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like not fun ones, not like my books. Wow. At least not that I know, I did not try to talk to them. Anyways, I'm actually really excited to do this because this is the first time anyone has ever you know asked me to be like a horror hunter like Patilda. Oh it's so exciting we get to study everyone!

Yes we study so that we can stock you know. I like the studying part. Me too. Flaps over your shoulder. Fia go ahead and make a history check with advantage. Okay, I was gonna say, since we've talked about how to use book far for advantage, can I use book far for advantage for history checks

since he's my little studious for. Yes, definitely. He's a book. I'll also say Henry and Zirk, you guys can make insight checks to help with like the info that Fia pulls up. This is, I believe my first time rolling with a help action from BookFar. Ooh!

Thank you, BookFar. BookFar, I need you to help me read this book. You like to study? Show me how much you like to study. I'll study so hard, miss. I got a crit! You crit! I crit! Good God! I quit! I quit! I quit!

Books are good. And I'm all about history. I quit on a board. That's where I, our con and history is where I put my fucking stats. And I, so I have proficiency and it's intelligence, so that's a 26 bitch. Okay. It feels good to crit on reading. Yeah, no, it's for everybody.

It's for, it's crit on your book, kids. Crit on your homework, friends. Hey, guys. I know we're all having Zoom meetings and we're working from home, but it's crit on your book, kids. Just. Crit on your homework, friends. Hey guys, I know we're all having Zoom meetings and we're working from home, but it's important to crit on your homework. Oh God. So, Fiya, as you're reading this book, you see a Spritele Glow's Bright Orange flies down

from Zerke's ear and kind of lights it so that you can all, so that you all can see it. But, Idol, you are becoming my favorite booklight. You are much better than luminescence. You hear Del Buzz. Way to go, little friend. Inside the book, Guardians of the Grove, you find a section on spirits and ghosts. And, Fiya, you would even know this just from talking to Batilda and having dealt with horrors before through her that they are different than your average zombie. When someone is betrayed or they have a lot of last minute regrets, it can corrupt their soul. There is something to that. There's

basically there's ghosts that are malevolent beings that exist as punishment, but then there are good souls that were corrupted by last minute regrets or betrayal. Like an otherwise good person might get this huge rush of negative energy at the end of their lives that could make their spirit or part of it linger. With a nat 20, you look through the different options of ghosts that would steal hearts. You see there's one called a ghost swain. This one is a malevolent being

who had wronged people in life. Oh, they were not wrong, they did the wrong thing. They did the wrong thing. Through means of seduction or manipulation, they rise again as a being with no heart that craves one, and they kill anyone. So there's no pattern to it. So you with that nat 20 instantly ex this one out. He's missed this because there is a pattern to the key the killings now. Exactly. You see another one, an unrequited seeks the hearts of those who would

not love them in life. Oh, this sounds like it really seeks the hearts of those who would not love them in life. Oh, these sounds like it really. Seeks the hearts of those who would not love them in life. It's a nice guy ghost. It's a nice guy. This one is called a nice guy. So not all ghosts are like that. You put me in the friend zone. Yeah.

But this again, I would roll this out. Correct. But you do land on one that sounds like it could be it. You land on a spirit classified as a broken heart banshee. Killed during a moment of heartbreak and then seeks the heart of their killer or seeks the hearts of people that are similar to their killer. So this person was experienced a moment of heartbreak from a rook.

That is certainly possible. Okay. You know that they rise during reaping season, 10 years after their murder. 10 years. And you see that in the book, there is a way to put them at rest or banish them. And the way to do that is to douse their remains with a concoction consisting of rose water and the kiss of a lover.

The kiss of a lover can be indirect. You can have the lover's lips touch a goblet or some other ingredients. Or like an envelope that they licked. And we're done with the toilet. So even my hand, I say, thank you so good to meet you, hold up my hand. Yeah, and then you would just need to touch the Rosewater.

All right, everyone, I will be going around town always presenting my hand for our kiss for until we find out what's going on. We just, I would love to help you work on your social cues at some point. Okay, so kiss of a lover, find their remains. What was the other thing? Holy water? Rosewater, which is. Oh, those roses everywhere. lover, find their remains. What was the other thing? Holy water?

Rose water, which is... Oh, those roses everywhere. Yeah, there's a word. Yes, I use that in my rose petal jam. You have rose water on you, or could easily procure it. So that's a... We all have rose water. Years ago.

Okay, does anyone, I have not been living here for 10 years, so I do not know a lot of the history here who might have been hurt or anything. Me neither, but I wonder if Marcy might have some information about that. I know that she's not officially affiliated with the rooks, but she must keep tabs on their activity. And like if this person were murdered, she might know something about that. We could also double check with a Sib or the rooks,

but they seem a little occupied at the moment. Yeah. And my cousin, my cousin's been living here for a long time. Oh, who is your cousin? Oh, yeah. Is this guy swashed in Fennrose? He's the Baron of the town.

He's also not technically my cousin. He's more of like a third cousin of my ex. Your cousin is the Baron? The freaking Baron? What the fuck? You don't lead with this information? What have I said? I am now I'm scared.

I have said something wrong about Thorne Karakari. Do we need to look pizza last night? We could have- We are not a blood, we are not a blood relation. He's a third cousin of my ex-wife. He's basically a guy that I know, that I am living with at the moment. And also, let's be clear that there is nothing wrong

with book pizza. I was just going to say, I stayed on blinkingly at Dr. Zirk and I say you did not like the book pizza. You have a problem with the book pizza. The book pizza needs work. I'm not afraid to admit it. Book far, you're problem with the book pizza. The book pizza needs work. I'm not afraid to admit it. Book far, you're great, you're very smart. Book pizza needs work.

Everything needs work, Dr. Zonk. The crust was impeccable. The crust was very good. That's true, yeah. It was crisp. Inspired crust. I love the rosemary in the crust. I'll go from there.

Anyway, the baron, you know the god damn baron? Right, yes, I live with him. You live in a baron's mansion? I live in it's a it's his second pool house. So he has the main pool house but he's been a lot of time. You have a pool we could have gone swimming last night. Yeah, there's a couple of we could have but I thought it was close here. I've never been in a pool.

Do you think anyone has ever invited me to be in a pool? Do you think I don't want to put on a bathing suit and diving to pool like everyone else? Look we can go back to the barren's place, but it's he's a lot. He's just kind of a lot I don't think it's just we made a sprite pack tindry we made a sprite pack And we were sharing stuff and like staying up late and being friends and you didn't tell us about the pool I told you like my deepest darkest secret right that I was attacked by a guy and I switched place with my shadow I shared mention the pool, but you didn't mention the pool doctor Henry mr. Henry so sad you flustered via She's calling a dog. I'm sorry now. I'm just like knowing that I knew someone had a pool

And it never told me and it's like I couldn't go swimming like I'm gonna go swimming. We'll go swimming We'll go swimming. I wonder if I'll drown maybe Yes, he has one pool. It's very very shallow does your pool have any Rosalca in it? I don't know All right, well, let's go immediately to this pool and talk to the Baron and go swimming It's either chlorine saltwater or Rosalca those are the three types of pools Is it Rosolca? Is that like a siren essentially?

Yeah, there are like a water spirit who have these combs that they have to keep their hair wet with. Okay, so you all begin heading towards Fennrose keep. You see it's the small castle with black iron gates with roses carved into them. Above the gate is a watchman, and you see a few other guards about in leather armor or light chain mail with the Fenrose family crest on tabards that hang over them. The crest, of course, is just a single red rose.

The castle is made of stone and is covered in ivy with flowers growing along the side, and in the front of the courtyard is this very small, unimpressive apartment style in Grand Pool. You didn't say it was a front yard pool. Well, this is a fountain. There's another, there's a, you can swim in something in the back. Ah, yeah, it looks like one of those pools that isn't an apartment complex and no one uses. How absolutely strange should have it in the front yard. I suppose it's like conspicuous consumption, right?

To show off to your friends. Oh, I have a pool. Huh? Is anyone using it right now? Uh, no. Can I go in? I think we should at least get... We have breaks into a sprint.

I love to see Fias. As Fias starts going towards the fence, you see crossbow pull start flying from the tower No, no, she's with me. She's with me. Oh Henry yeah, what are your guests is just running at the fence? Yeah, you see a guard up up in the tower Either amble or sprint. There is no in in between she's never seen a pool I thought she's never been in a pool you've seen one no I've never seen one you see yeah the guard just the guard shrugged your shoulders I didn't even know we had a pool what is wrong with you guys I dive in but yeah the fact is like

close like emphanage welcome okay I she wants to take a dip in the pool. She seems dangerous. This seems ill advised. Does the Baron know that you're bringing guests? He doesn't, but I'm sure, can I talk, I'll just talk to the Baron. You can talk to him. He's out in the courtyard right now.

He's, you see, he puts up air quotes sparring. Very cool. Okay, so guys, we guys, you just got to remember to kind of act impressed when you see the bear in sparring. You'll see what's going on. So you see guard motions to another guards and they open the main iron gates. I grab fear by the cut like the back of her jacket. I keep a sprint going. What can Henry hold me back?

This is strange, Miss, when people want to go places they don't sprint. We're going to walk. You're confusing. If you really want to go somewhere, then you sprint because you want to get there faster. But first we need towels. We need to make sure that the pools been cleaned. You know, I've never seen anybody in it. They didn't even know we had one.

So I just want to make sure that it's all covered with a lot of moss. I'm noticing. I thought that was I thought that was decorative. You see as you guys pass through the main courtyard, you see that the owner of the keep, the barren Sowashtian Fenrose, is fencing against a squire of the town watch. There's a knight who's coaching him as well as several other servants around, dutifully standing in like a circle around them. You see a Sowashtian lunges forward and scores a point with his foil. HAH! Point! Match! So action! You see he pulls his helmet off as his gaze meets yours.

He turns and he faces Henry and you guys as your approach. You see his gaze seems to like look through you. You see he's got long thin black hair and he goes, ah cousin, good to see you again. I see you've brought guests. Should we have scampy? Hots! Shrimp!

OK, you see, uh, uh, one of his, any of this in one of his butlers runs in to get scampy. Would you like a port wine and some scampy? Fia very,entially curtsies. Um, I said I would be honored and I hold up my hand to get my keys. You see he goes, Ah, a fine curtsy, Malady scampi you shall have.

Um, and uh, kiss is your hand. I look, I look at Zirk and I'm like, you know, come on. Oh, right away, yes. I put my hand out as well. He takes your hand, he curtsies and kisses your hand. Ah, and what is your name? Ah, I'm Zerk for Vane, a local apothecary and alchemist

and scampy enthusiast. I wiggle my eyebrows. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You see, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Mr. Henry, he didn't ask my name. Did I make a bad first impression? You made an incredible first impression and I know that my cousin was just about to ask for your name and why don't we just cut the... I already know her name turns towards Fia. Hello Rachel. Yes, you are correct Mr. Bair and my name name is Rachel Rachel and I met a long time ago We were lovers once I just think I'm not allowed to contradict the parents So I'm gonna go with it. Yes, we were lovers

You could definitely contradict the barrage like Henry knows him. He's like a weird dude He's not gonna like have you executed via please keep it going. We need that scam. We did what lovers do We embraced and Consol the chat. I that sounds really cool Rachel and So asian, shall we shall we go inside? I know also My she sometimes goes by fear and she she had an inclination to check out That's interesting the Rachel I met did not go by fear perhaps you're a different Rachel. Okay, Fia No, you can come here Rachel or miss bonk gin. Yeah, she's all slides off of him narrows his eyes I don't want to get in between whatever you guys are just

us. I don't know what to do here. I've never met royalty. I want to swim in his pool. All right. We'll eat his scampi. We can take our scampi in the rain. I want an inflatable ball full of scampi in the pool. Okay, so we'll eat, we'll eat the dinner full of pasta and shrimp, drink port, and then we'll swim in the pool. That sounds like a good chip. And that chip, campy is absolutely an incorrect pairing. Do we want to do port and scampy in the pool? We could do the scampy in the pool.

What is, I, uh, Baron, whatever you say goes, alright? I didn't even know we had a pool! How am I the only one that knows about the pool? It's kind of there! We don't really think about it! Oh, I think he means the moss garden. This guy's hilarious! Oh, I said sir!

Ah-ha! Sir, finger guns the Baron. Your fingers are like guns! Be careful, that could be seen as a threat! Holy threatening you with a good time, sir! Haha! Indeed! Alright!

Hans, we'll take our scampy pool side. Come now! You see in one motion, Rips off his leggings, is in tiny underwear, and rushes for the pool and hops in. Wow! Just... I... I... underwear and rushes for the pool and hops in. Wow, just right in. I follow suit, but except for taking off clothing, because I don't have anything else to wear, so this will have to do.

Just layers and layers and like a tail coat. Just instantly get wrapped in it. This is going to be bad for my leather holster, but here we go. Henry has like an old-y one piece bathing suit thing. Oh my god, he goes into this pool house and grabs. Henry, you go in and change. It takes you 10 minutes to join everybody.

Zirk has swim trunks. Zirk drinks swim trunks everywhere. He's got a bag with a beach towel and swim trunks. What's always ready? Change is in the bushes, a little more shameless. Nobody's looking. And you guys get into the pool with the Baron. You see little floaties with shrimp scampi

and port wine, incredible. Are they like lily pads essentially? Yes. Ah, now what brings these fine guests to Fenrose keep, cousin? Baron, we are, you know, it's crazy. This is your town, correct? Indeed, it's my family's town, but I'd like to think it's everyone's town, but especially mine.

Where did you get that baby to kiss? I'm running for re-election. I'm running for reelection. Well, we've been sort of, we are friends with Mr. Henry because we are looking into some, you know, crime that may be happening. So we are just looking into that, you know, to keep Thorn Kirk safe. I hate crime. I don't understand. There's enough shrimp tails for everyone.

Why don't people just eat shrimp tails? Bites just the shrimp's tail and it throws out the meat Book our flaps away. Don't get it out of the pool. What about this crime? Okay, you've you've heard that that there are like some sort of bad spirits and sometimes this season it gets dangerous because there's bad spirits, right? Yes, ghosts. Yeah, so we've got a ghost. Someone who got that heartbroken 10 years ago. And I haven't been here long enough to know.

You see, as go ahead, everybody give me, everybody give me insight checks. That's a 16. It's gonna be a not one for me. That's going to be a not 20 for Zirk. Oh my God. Zirk? She has moss on her eyes, I can't see it.

I can't see. You dove to the bottom of the pool right at that moment. Paying too much attention to bookfart, attempting to like a claw game, clamp shrimp and put it in the bag to save it for later. But Henry and Zirk, you see when you mention somebody was wronged ten years ago, the Baron gasps and has a very physical reaction to that. And you see his eyes turn deadly serious and he goes, if someone had their heart broken 10 years ago and is haunting Thorn Kirk, then I am afraid that I am your ghost. Oh what? You seem very, you seem

pretty solid not not much of a ghost. I guess we are looking for a ghost who's killing people. So if you are the ghost, could you maybe stop killing people? Yeah, please. I have not killed anyone, but if I am a ghost and I don't know it yet, then perhaps I already have. Henry, have you seen me flying through walls or doing anything of that sort? I've seen you do many impressive things,

like fence and cook and and ride a horse very well as as everyone here knows you're you're an incredible athlete but I've never seen you do I started your campaign ad you talk about what good horse rider you are You're a great sparring guy but I've never seen you do anything ghostly that you are not a ghost And just to be clear there are there are elections, but it is illegal to run against me. Mr. Bear. Mr. Bear. What happened 10 years ago that your heart got broken?

You have such a beautiful voice. I'd love to hear you tell a story of your life. Thank you. Let's have a long sigh and kind of looks off wistfully and goes, 10 years ago, I was engaged to my beloved Sadie Bellwater. My parents didn't approve of her because she was from a poor family, so we made plans to meet at the crossroads outside of town one night to run away and get married. My father caught me before I could get to her and she was left out there all alone.

She was murdered by bandits. The town watch found her in the morning clutching the necklace I had given her as an engagement gift. Where is that necklace now? It is with her? Inekreiv. Indeed. I'm sure that if you gifted it to her, it must have been very ornate. Could you describe it thoroughly in detail? Are you familiar with Jared's fall catalog? He describes a Ruby necklace. Hmm. Meh, ask, you know, in a situation like this,

we are trying to be very diplomatic and plate to his sense of self. In a situation like this, this must have been so tragic. I mean, how do you, do you still visit this grave? And how do you make peace with this? Where is the grave? Excellent normal question. Where I can't visit Sadie. Originally, she was given a popper's burial in the cemetery,

but after my parents passed, I moved her to my family crypt. That was not a popular move with my family, my father, disproves of her, even in death, and has risen as a ghost to protect our crypt from perceived intruders. So what happened?

You bring her remains to the crypt and then your father as a ghost, bars entry and then what you do bring her remains to the crypt and then your father as a ghost Barz entry and then what you do with the remains. I was able to bury her successfully, but when I went back My father Yelded me said he was disappointed in me said I needed to marry somebody else said he was gonna find a nice girl for me Started closing random gates making the torches go on and off, brought skeletons back, one, take me in the stomach. Okay, well, well, well, desecrated remains that makes for a very angry ghost.

So just to be clear from what the Baron has told you, it sounds like there are two ghosts. One is the brokenhearted Banshee, who is Sadie Bellwater, and two is the Baron'sed banshee, who is Sadie Bellwater, and two, is the baron's father, who is haunting the crypt. You know, maybe we could do something to help you out so you can go and pay your proper respects to Sadie.

You know, maybe we go have a word with your old man and we try to sort that whole thing out. Yeah, and actually quite good with ghosts. I've moderated a couple say ounces. I saw a dude one guys give me a Group persuasion check you can do with advantage. I'll say plus zero because you guys hell have zero, right? Yeah minus one for me Yeah, baby. That's a 19 19 total okay, you see the Baron looks very excited and he goes, I haven't been able to visit my dear Sadie

in at least five years. So you would do that for me, cousin? Hey, give me free Roman board at this pool house. Right. Well, we're charging you back rents. It's 10,000 gold per month. Okay. Yes.

Oh, 27%. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Can I just leave a copy of my, I didn't sign a lease. Did you leave a copy of that? You don't. It's fine. I, we will. It is fine.

It's fine. We'll cut down the interest. 14%. There's interest. I can't get out from under this debt. You see, you see the Baron does kind of narrow his eyes, looks a little bit confused and goes, what does this have to do with the crime you're talking about? My father has never left the crypt.

Well, if he is a ghost, he might know other ghosts. It seems like a good lead. Yeah, we just want to grill your pop for any information he might have. I'm sure that as you are well connected in this town, your father must be well connected in the afterlife. Very well. Well, I, of course, would face my father and I was planning to do it if not tomorrow,

perhaps next week or in three weeks, maybe. I was thinking of doing it. That's a good timeline. It's a good timeline. I think on the next full moon, I was thinking about going in and doing it myself. Oh, yes. That's a good timeline. It's a good timeline. I think on the next full moon, I was thinking about going into doing it myself. Oh, yes, it's a full-time list. But if the rest of you would like to go up

and stand up to my father for me, then that's, Wow, I mean, you just said it, you said it there. Yeah, I couldn't, you know, said it was, I couldn't even, you know, if you give me, you give me a message to say to your dad and then it's kind of like you did stand up to him. Okay. Cause I'll tell him something that you said to say to him.

All right. Okay. If he says, sorry, sorry, Mary, whoever you want, you say, okay, thanks, daddy. And then Mary, Sadie, if he says, how dare you, she's run away. Okay. Okay.

He's tall. He's five foot 11, Henry. By running away. Oh, that's okay, that's how tall I am. I'm five foot 11. My God, but you know, boots have a tiny little heel. That's almost six feet. He's got a girl child. Sir, we will do this thing for you. Yes, we will. I feel like 11. My God, but you know, boots have a tiny little heel. I'm a doll, so it's almost six feet. I'm a doll, so it's almost six feet.

So we will do this thing for you. Yes, we will. In service, as you know, as peasants who work in your barony. And as a thank you for your kindness and hospitality, please accept this gift. And I take a shrimp, and I cast magical tinkering on it so that it repeats a six second long recorded message and that message is

It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. You see the Baron begins weeping And I had a book like this called Goodwill Hunt Henry's also crying for his own reasons All right, I a Christ too. Alright, he tears away with Moss. Well, if you'd like to get to my family crypt, it's in the catacombs below Thorn Kirk. There's a small chapel in the cemetery. If you go straight through the tunnels, you can head right when you can't go any further.

You'll find my future burial sites. Look for the crypt under Fenrose with one red rose. My family crest used to have three red roses, but there were some sort of family nonsense, some sort of feud at some points, but ours is the one with the rose. That is where my dear Sadie is buried. Okay, I turn to my new friends. Dr. Zirk, Mr. Henry. It's kind of early still I think. And I have, I always tend to keep strange hours.

It feels wrong to go to a crypt during the day. What if we went to bed now? And if we woke up and we went at 3 a.m. The witching hour. You talking about early bedtime? You could always just do what I do and sleep for 20 minutes every three hours. Oh, a pop-a-doro method, interesting.

Who? Oh, it's the name of the sleep, you know what never mind, here's more to that. You invented it. You invented it, cousin. Don't you worry about that. Yes, you're a slashed in method. That's what I said.

Yeah, we can crash for a little bit in the little pool house. I have, there's a couple of cats in there. I sleep on one. I love a cot. Oh, I guess, an accommodating cot. Very well. Then I shall see you on the morrow. Yes.

The bear in this, like, really haunted right now, right? This is just me or is he like 1000 yards there? He's gonna, you're gonna finish the rest of the port and the shrimp. We're gonna go hit the hay. I kiss, I kiss the Baron's hands. He and the pull for three more hours. Thank you. I go around to every single one of his attendants and I put out my hand for our keys. Alright, yeah, let's just kiss everyone's hand good night and then we'll go crash. Everyone starts kissing each other.

It's that kind of night. It tastes like shrimp. So you all go back to Henry's room. Henry has elected for the most modest guest room. Still, it's a very nice room. You see red silk sheets and a four-post bed with a canopy, a small desk with a vanity. Right, you not mention you have a canopy bed.

You see a dresser of dark mahogany and a trunk. Not a cot. A trunk of Henry's things. You see a cot that looks like it has been used way more than the beautiful bed. You have to fuck up thing. It's like, I showed him my house before I saw his and now I feel so stupid about it.

Your house was awesome. This house is fucking, it's over the top. It's too much and there's beds too friggin' soft. You can't sleep for a second on it. My back slips out of place Sir falls over and instantly passes out in the bed. Yeah, it's the most comfortable bed you've ever been in sir I sleep in a cot next to the dead people Henry makes a grilled cheese on a hot plate I think via also sort of lingers towards the forepost bed looking like she's like busy seats down on it Pretends like she's gonna go to a cot and then just like falls backwards and also sleeps on the forepost bed because what a luxury

Oh, Spritele can you wake us up when it's time for us to go raid a crypt? Spritele starts buzzing. Actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna switch you to Marimba if that's okay. Henry, you finish your grilled cheese, sleep in your cot. Spritell is set to Marimba, and you all go to bed, and in a few short hours, you hear. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum I'm just like trying to gently stroke Spritele to turn it off. Spritele is just having too much fun. It's just dancing to the murder of the sounds and keeps going. I'm up.

So you are all up. It is 3 a.m. the witch of gower. And it does kind of occur to you that it might make sense to wait for the break of dawn because you know that a lot of specifically spirits like the broken heart banshee does its work at night. So they will return. Okay. Oh, by the way, Thia,

do we need to transfer that kiss you got onto something else or is it just good on you? No, I can't just have it on my hand. Yeah, I've collected a lot of kisses on my hands. I don't know if we needed to put some like, cellophane over it or if you need like a glove? Oh, that's a good call, yeah. Let's put a glove on my kissing can.

Okay, just a case. So we can keep the kisses in. The Baron has like a full friggin' tub of gloves in here. I can find some of those. I go to the glove tub and I find the freelyest, most lazy one I can find. I love this glove tub. Yeah, you find a beautiful glove tub.

I feel like I'm at a thrift store just going through a glove tub. And do you guys want to go at night or do you want to go at dawn? We should probably go a little before dawn. Yeah, I think so. Either way, we can snooze that sprite for like at least about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about Oh my God.

Sprite. I send the book for her to just clamp down on Sprite. Easy. Easy. They get big into a knockdown track out fight. It's like when cats get a little too aggressive. You're tossing shrimp everywhere. Each shrimp, you little shrimp, each shrimp.

Before you got one taste of power. Speaking of shrimp, while everyone else goes back to sleep, I'm going to stay up because I've gotten enough sleep and I'm going to infuse some stuff. I use the leftover shrimp tails and like bits of shrimp carapace and I make a paste and I apply it to my leather armor to give me enhanced defense. BookFar watches you do this at night. Did you smear shrimp on your shirt? It's a kindness. I'm using the shrimp carapace to give me more

of a bolster defense. Okay, no, no, I'll go back to the ceiling and go to bed. Clap, stack up there and hang, like a bag. But don't kiss a bat. I get up a little like 20 minutes early and I make everybody a full English breakfast. No. Whoa, how do you guys like beans for breakfast, huh?

Only if there are mushrooms to boot. And a poiled estimate, oh don't you worry. Oh it's so wet. All in a hot plate, this is so impressive. How many hot plates did you have going to make all this breakfast? Yeah this one took me six hot plates and they're all plugged into this surge protector over here. Oh, that's where the lightning was coming from. I instantly burned my tongue on this hot tomato.

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bird dogs off, We promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. As sweet. So you guys wait just before dawn and then you head out. You cross the bridge at the edge of town as the sun is beginning to crest over the horizon. And you find a small cemetery with cracked stones peeking out of the green grass. See a black iron gate swings noisily in the wind as a breeze blows through nearby trees with orange and red leaves. Fia takes in this beautiful visage and lights up a cigar.

Wow, could I get a drag of that or have fun? Absolutely. Pass around the cigar, everyone. Oh, yeah. There's no sunset without a cigar is what they say. Zerk worried about germs puts the cigar in the tip of his pipe and smokes it that way. It's the boldest cigar any of you have ever smoked. Oh my god. It just tastes like chewing on ashes. I've ever smoked. Oh my god. It just tastes like chewing on ashes. I inhale.

So you guys find a small stone chapel with a thatched roof. In front, there are statues of the children, the three deities. You see the reaper stands to one side with his side and scale. The elder is in the middle with a serene smile and arms open, and the trickster statue is badly cracked and damaged. You can make out, you can make out a carving of a beautiful dress made of leaves, but the head is missing.

Can I just mending? Mending! Too, we're gonna too far with the mending. You guys go too far with the mending. Takes about a minute, but the cracks begin to fill in with a green light as you both hold your hands on the statue and you see the tricksters face is

restored and For a second you could have sworn she winked at you Fiya and Zirk you you guys both get inspiration. A de-six of inspiration. Oh! Oh, oh, Fiya, before you go any further, here I prepared this for your sword. I hand her a little ornately blown glass file

with some blade oil in it. Thank you so much, Mr. Zirk. This is so kind, and I drink this. Um, you should not. I just, I go to drink it. I thank you so much Mr. Zerg this is so kind and I drink this. Um you should not. I should not go to drink it. Please no no no no no no no. He didn't even use the tails mess it was just shrimp meat. Alright I take I take out my sword from my back and I start to rub some blade oil on it. There you go. It feels very good. I take it over a knee.

I feel very like a blade in this moment. I've seen but till do this. As you polish your sword with this magical blade oil, you see Fiya, this old rusted sword that you don't really know how to care for because your mentor has been gone for a long time You see the rust wipes away and you have this gleaming Great sword in your hands plus one plus one this was hiding under my all the rust I thought the rust was helping it. It seemed painful. It's like you thought this great sword was just a normal great sword, but it turns out it had a pool.

I thought it was a good sword, but it's a great sword. And fortunately, the smoke from your cigar is sort of covering up the shrimp smell. It doesn't have a bad musk. I did mostly use shrimp. I had to use the most powerful part of the shrimp, the brown. Okay, okay. We could stop talking now and use the lighter the gleam on this. It smells like the lobby of Red Lobster. Less cheddar biscuit though. So you all go into the chapel. You see candles fill the room. Some of them are on the floor.

Some in holders or on ledges. May I ask a question? Like who is this a chapel to? Just all three of the children? It is all three of the children, but you do see a set of scales in which people have put copper to wish for their loved ones to be judged fairly. You see a bunch of copper weighing down the scale

to the right, which it is said in sort of the lore of the Reaper, is that if the scale tips right, then you will be allowed into reverie. I have such a desire to take all that copper and put it onto the left. But continue, thank you for it. If you see all these candles, most of them are not lit, but you do see a few are lit.

It looks like either somebody came here and was like lit a few candles to pay their respects or there's some kind of grounds keeper who maybe lit these a bit ago and does not care about fire safety and didn't put them out properly. You also see a set of stairs heading down. And near the stairwell, there are lanterns that you can light and bring with you. Interesting. Yes, I will make and lantern and light it with all of it which with my make and. Oh, I'm going to tinker one of the lanterns so that a sprytle can fly inside and light it up. You see sprytle flies inside and lights it up. It is a little concerning as you look at these lanterns

and see that they are made for regular candle fire. It does lead you to believe that there are horrors down here. And you know that just these places are not visited during reaping season. It is, and the reason you know that the sort of religious beliefs of the people of Eldermorn is that if you purposely burn your body or like destroy it, you are defying the Reaper and the Reaper will not judge you fairly.

So it is like amongst anyone who isn't like absolutely fuck the Reaper. I'm gonna do whatever I want amongst normal people and people who worship the Reaper. Those people get buried. And so the catacombs are kind of a happy medium of like we're gonna lock these dead bodies away. If they rise, they will be underground and they will be behind a wall.

Mr. Henry and Dr. Zirk, I have an insatiable curiosity and I don't have much willpower to say no to myself. There is a part of me that wants to put all of these copper on the other side, just out of absolute curiosity. That sounds like something I would like you to do on your own time. Okay, I will not do it then, thank you. Thank you for being my willpower when I cannot. How about happy medium? We do it on our way out. Okay, okay.

Oh, I love it. I love that. Okay, so you all walk down the stairs, the glow of the lanterns lighting your way. You clear cobwebs. Can we not clear cobwebs? It just feels like ruining someone's house. You avoid cobwebs? Can we not clear cobwebs? It just feels like to ruining someone's house. You avoid cobwebs. You see a little awake in spider-go. Thanks! I've been working on this for a long time. I get

better at craftsmanship. Eat some mosquitoes for us. That will. Spiders are friends. friends. Crit on your homework everyone. That's one cool spider. Wow. You all continue down occasionally kicking a pebble that echoes as it falls down the stairwell. Oh Henry at some point we should probably talk about that weird go-shadow thing you did. Yeah it's what happened. Yeah, we can have, I mean, we can have a quick conversation. I have no fucking idea. You guys saw that? Yeah, it was cool. It almost looked like it was you,

and then you docey-dod with yourself. That's what it felt like to me. Yeah, I'd love to hear your perspective on it, because that was weird, that was weird to sell. And that's the second time that that happened. The second time, what was the first time? Yeah. When that horror was a caravan,

caravan, my shadow away from my body. I said, how you got away from the horror? Yeah. I mean, I don't know how it's happening, but if you could figure out how to do it reliably, that would probably be a big help, because we do tend to get in a lot of scrapes where people are trying to grab us and strangle us.

I'll tell you, Zark, I did not do it on purpose, and I did not do it as an act of bravery. I was scared out of my mind, and it just happened. It helped me get away. I use that I guess Pretty terrified now everybody go ahead and give me perception checks Ooh another 19 on eight 19 plus 32 who I got a one Fia has like the Perception of a prey so she's seeing a little bit of everything. Fia, as you all are talking about this,

you see that your lantern is hitting Henry in such a way that he's got a shadow on the wall. But you see his shadow is not connected to him. It looks like a person following him. Mr. Henry, I think that your shadow might be like an angel to you. An angel or some kind of fuck, you don't see what this guy looks like sometimes he's... He looks...

Mean, angry? Sad? Maybe not mean or angry. Sad, scary, freaky. And then sometimes he looks like me with different colored eyes. What color eyes? Black. Medical opinion, that's no good.

And you guys are both doctors, right? I mean, I've lately been doing a lot of healing. So yeah, I think it's part of my life now, yeah. Yeah. Technically, neither of us have degrees. We would be laughed out of any institution, but we can heal with the best of them. I feel as haunted thinking about being laughed out of an institution.

I turn real quick and try to catch my shadow. Go ahead and give me a dextrack. That's a 19. What do you add to dext? I rolled a 17. I add two. You see, as you turn, your shadow reacts a little bit slower than you. Oh, I wish I didn't see that. Okay.

I think it flipped you off. Why is that? Well, Mr. Henry, I will keep out an eye for you, but it could be a friend. You never know. Okay. It's a, hey, you'd save my ass twice. So you might be right. You all reach the bottom of the stairs. And you see that your way is blocked by an iron gate. It's one of these gates that slides down from the ceiling and grips the floor with thick iron teeth. And next to it, there is a lever. And you can deduce that this appears to be a means to lock bodies in here during reaping season.

And as you guys, before you guys do anything, we're not gonna go into initiative yet, but I want you to roll initiative. Oh, shit. What? Oh my. I mean, I guess that's how sure initiative. Oh shit. What? Oh my. Oh. I mean, I guess that's how sure we are

that something's going wrong. 13. 19. I got 11. Sweet, so again, not gonna go into initiative right now. You guys are at this gate, and there's a lever. Would you like me to make hand this lever instead of the coins?

You can go to town on the lever, I think. All right, I go to town on the lever I think. All right, I go to town on the lever. I wouldn't go to town, no shit. Yes, Dr. Zonk, whatever you say. He's going to town. The corner is a system of bass. Wow, the shit out of that lever. That's the repressed lever.

If you use a Mage Hand and in a fantastic light display, pulls down the lever, you hear there's a mechanical sound from within the walls and you see the gate lifts as debris falls from the ceiling. There is an echo of the gate moving as well as some creaking deep in the distance, and that's it, it's dark. Who has dark

vision amongst you guys? I believe I do. So it's just 60 feet. So you still don't see much. It is very dark but you do not see any you know enemies or horrors directly ahead of you. This is going to seem very scary, but I wonder if we should close this gate behind us, because if things go bad, we don't want to sick a bunch of zombies on the city. You know what, I had literally the exact opposite thought of propping it open. Yes, I'm with Henry.

Let's leave it. I realized, hold up, I realized that Dr. Bunkin'ya, how fucking selfish that was. No, no. No, it's not selfish, it's self-preservation. I understand how you're confused, Henry, but I'm a Bunk, okay? I just feel like maybe one tiny ray of sunshine, one like little bit of optimism, could be helpful in this situation. Let's just hypothetically we don't die and want to escape.

So I, but that, my thing is that I think that I can use Maychans to like, to go through and reopen it, then we want to leave. Would you be able to maychand like from the other side once we're inside and the door is closed? Yeah, it's like a great, yeah. Oh, it's not solid. It's not completely solid. Yeah, then he said that a great, yeah. Oh, it's not solid. It's not completely solid. Yeah, then he said that I thought,

oh, okay, this is an easy thing. And look, look, VAR, you can flap through that thing. I think you can really, I think you can slip into one part. You think so? VAR, VAR desperately starts trying to flap through it. You got to close yourself. Close the spine. Open on the other side.

You can slide through like a coin slot. This is how we learn. We do things that scare us a little bit. Okay. We put ourselves in situations that are a little bit scary. I just feel like I'm learning all the time, miss. Yes, that is life. Life is learning.

And then it stops being learning. It gets very boring. I was scared when I tried a piece of your pizza because I didn't want to eat book cheese. But I grew that evening as a man. I became a stronger person. Henry, if I could cry, I would. So you guys go through, you have opened this gate, and then you close it again from the other side with Fias Mage Hand. We have my Mage Hand. The Mage Hand is able to easily get through it.

It does feel like metaphorically like us saying, okay, we're fucking doing this. So I don't mind this. Yeah, cast that damn dial, let's do this. Yeah, I guess we continue to out. It's great. You navigate the dark catacombs. There's dirt at your feet and bricks along the walls orange glow of the lanterns

You see unlit torches along the walls you can light those If you want as you go to make it brighter. It's up to you guys. I guess I look back at Fia and Henry Should I like this? Mr. Henry this will help you to see see. Would you like, would you like us to like these? You know, I'm okay. I'm sure I wouldn't want to see anything down here anyway. You keep it lanterns only for now. You guys keep on keeping on lanterns only. You see, as you pass certain points along the wall, you see various cubbies and inlets with coffins labeled with different family names. You also see doors to different crypts.

You can assume that the people who are buried out here that are just kind of in cubbies are maybe, you know, merchants or things like that, like people who have money to be like buried pretty well, but like, you know, lords or richer people probably get their own like family crypts. You know from what the Baron told you is that his is further in. I'll scan very quickly to see a bonkenia. A bonkenia?

Go ahead. Sib, Terence. Go ahead and give me a luck check. 16, baby. 16, there are no bonkenias down here. You can assume Sib wanted to get far, far away from the bonkenias, and it is unlikely that they are here in Thorncurg. Go ahead, I will keep using this name recklessly.

Great. Um, as you guys travel, go ahead and give me perception checks, Henry give me yours with disadvantage. Disadvantaged. Oh, that's right. It's dark. That's going to be a 19 for fear. That's an 18, even with this advantage.

Zerks eyes erupt with light. I got a natural 20. Whoa. Oh. That's your seconds. Yeah, let's do 20s. Have you had licec? Yeah, self-imposed.

Oh, you did licec on yourself. You suddenly feel a cold wind travel past you. And you see that spritl turns from orange to blue. And you all feel a sudden chill go through you and you begin to hear rapid movements from behind you and Zirk with a nat 20. You even hear a little bit ahead of you. Fia and Zirk with your dark vision.

You see five skeletons coming out of grips and coffins from behind you, and you also see Zirk with a net 21 skeleton a little bit further down the way, shambles out of one of the coffins. Zirk, you are first act. Zirk looks back to Fia and Henry and says, okay, remember what I said about lanterns only? That's over and I cast Fairy Fire. How far do you pick a point and light it? Yeah, let's do it on

the skeleton in front of us. Sweet, with a flick of your wrist, you light up a part of the catacombs with magic light. You see 50 feet ahead of you is this skeleton, but more importantly, you see that 70 feet ahead of you, 20 feet past this skeleton is another lever and another gate as you hear more and more skeletons in the tongue. Oh shit. Oh, we could get to the other side of the gate

and just close the mean. Oh yeah, what do you wanna do with your movement? You have used your action. I think I see the gate ahead. I see these skeletons behind us. I think I just run forward and just gesture for fear and Henry to follow me. So Zirk lights up this area of the room.

You guys see another lever and another, like the teeth of a gate that is up right now. Zirk starts booking it for it, has another 40 feet to go and it is going to take an action to pull the lever. And you see a skeleton there in his way, more skeletons behind him, Fiya, that is your turn. Can I run 30 feet forward and prepare an action to attack to green flame bait,

blade the first creature that comes towards me? Sure, nice. Henry, that is your turn. I'm going to make like bookvar and just sprint towards the door. And once I get 30 feet, I do have a crossbow. Sweet. Oh, crossbrows.

Crossbrows. So I'm going to fire it. Let's be in close if, you know. Crossbooks. I'm going to fire it at that skeleton that's in front of me now, the cross folks. Okay Henry pulls out a crossbow, shoots it at this one skeleton that's between Zerk and the exit. It's a 21 to hit. Super hits. Oh I did only roll a one on my damage die so that's a big three. Henry you blast this skeleton with a crossbow bolt. You break off like a bunch of bones and it's arm,

but it is still wielding a rusty blade and still looks ready to fight. That is the skeleton's turns. You see on initiative 10, how we'll see if they're friendly or not. The five in the back that are far away are going to start shooting short bows. How short are these bows that they like,

five, eight, five, nine? Yeah. That's average. That is average. I do feel like a tower of a wound. That's five, 11. Two go after Fiya, two go after Henry, one goes after Zirk, the two that went after Henry Miss.

Yeah. Ooh, boy, the two that go after Fiya hit okay. I'm going because too hit Oh, I really hate doing this, but I'm going to shield okay. God. Nice. They both miss. I'm Fiya throws up a shield You see the arrows just like really cool Abgeration almost like sprites form little abduration symbols around me for a second. Not like a shellfish, like a shrimp shell. Yeah, you see this force field around Fia and as the arrows get close they sort of just die and plop out of the air. Ooh, they fizzle like they touch the lava.

Next one goes after Zirk and misses with a 12. This one that was 50 feet ahead, but now is within 20 feet of you, is gonna close with. Zirk was the first one up there, but guys, go ahead and roll a luck check since Fia has an action prepared. We'll say 11 or higher, it goes after Fia. Okay.

Fuck me, I got a 17. That's good luck though. That's great luck, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fiya, you draw your blade. This thing kind of like senses the violence and just runs towards it and tries to meet it. This thing is going to go to take a swing at you.

You have a reaction prepared. Go ahead and make your attack. Yes, thanks. No, I don't because I used shield. No, no, no, wait, can you still read in action when you have done a reaction? We usually let people people hold their actions, which is different.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to do. We hold, bro. Yes, we allow that. Yeah. Oh, baby, I got an 18. That is. I take my new, no longer rusty blade and keep him for 10 damage.

That is exactly how much HP it had left. Fee of Fee of Fee of this skeleton. Kill that bag of bones. That is exactly how much HP it had left. Fee a f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f shows my face and I wink at Zerk. Zerk's like, oh cool. And then the skeleton's head hits him. Mm-hmm. Cool. Thank you, Dr. Zerk. I am your number one patient.

And that's a guarantee. At the end of the round, you hear more skeletons animating. We'll start with the ones behind you. You hear five more. And then ahead of you, you see another two pop up between you guys and the gate. That is Zerks turn. Okay so there's two ahead? Yes.

Like blocking the path to the gate. Correct. So you would need to take opportunity attacks but you can get through them. There is like space to get through. I'm gonna try and fireball one of them. Okay great. I light my little stirring rod like a match and then I light one of my crossbow bolts and I Fire it right out of the suite

Does 11 hit 11 does not hit you see they're wearing you have a D6 of inspiration from the trickster. Wow nice memory. I save that nah Hell yeah, um does a 17 hit it It does. Okay, that is four damage. Does the fact that this is a skeleton affect the damage at all? No, it doesn't have any weakness to fire. Does it seem to like it? It seems to be indifferent to it.

You see it, shrugs its shoulders. You see, its other friend is trying to do zip-o-tricks and it seems unimpressed. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's other friend is trying to do zip-o-tricks and it seems unimpressed. It's just who doesn't care about fire All right, fair enough doesn't care about fire kind of either way you see playing Pokemon on Game Boy and choosing Squirtle I mean respect. That's a powerful starter That I've I'd sure to move it all you are still 40 feet away from the lever. Yeah, I'll get closer to the lever. I guess I'll get within 10 feet of it Yeah, you are within 10 feet of it now. That is fias turn Okay, I think fias going to dash action to the other side the other side of the of the gate great

Yeah, and just be ready to may chanted clothes But at least that will be one less person in the way of home. Fiya, you bolt through, you barrel through doing Fiya's crazy run. A sprint action, not a dash action. It's like the Tom Cruise sprint. They're going to take the opportunity attacks on you as you run down the hall. It looks like it's hurting your shins so bad. One of them does get a 16. Okay.

You are hit with a rusty short sword for six damage. Okay, I take the damage, but I look at them and I say, you think the rust makes it more powerful, but actually you put a little oil on it. It's actually much more powerful. What? Bitch, you won't shrug at that. Fiya, with a dash action, gets to the other side of the gate. Henry, that is your turn.

Okay, I'm gonna start, I'm gonna twirl my Halberd. I'm gonna attack the one that's Zerk hit, the one that got a little hurt. Great, got a little Zerk. That's an 18 to hit. Hits, 12 damage. 12 damage, Henry finished the skeleton. Yes.

I twirl the Halberd like up, I like undercut, the Ferry Fire catches aint of my halberd and I wink at Fia to wink at Zer. I catch the wink in the reflection of my clean blade and deflect the wink to Zer. That's so cool. Oh, another skull hits me. That's Team Zer.

Team Zer makes the dream Zirk. Henry and Zirk are now 10 feet away from the lever. One skeleton up in the mix with them and a bunch behind them. The skeletons act. You guys, I'm gonna say are on the edge of like where the fairy fire is lighting the room. So I'm gonna say these skeletons are going to have disadvantage as they shoot down the hall, but there are 10 now. So they're gonna shoot at Henry and Zirk. Oh shit. First one misses Zirk. Second one misses Zirk with disadvantage as two net ones. Third one is gonna hit Zirk for five damage. Okay. Fourth one shoots.

Misses. Fifth one shoots. Misses. Got an at 20, but with disadvantage, rolled in at five and missed. Oh boy. Oh, your fairy fairy comes into play. And so many play. The other five take shots. Add Henry from deep in the distance. You see arrows flying down the hall of the catacombs.

Like a just hero. Misses on the first attack, hits on the second attack, four damage Henry, third attack, hits on the second attack, four damage Henry, third attack, misses, fourth attack, misses, fifth attack, hits. Henry, you are hit for five. This is the thing, at the morgue, we tell people specifically, do not bury your loved ones with bows.

Don't do it. See, they can oversight. But what if you have a very bow that's like an heirloom bow and your very affectionate sword? How many heirloom bows did they have? You guys passed the Archer family, the Archer, the Bowmans, the Fletcher, the Fletcher, the...

We're in a craftsman tomb. Sweet, so behind you guys at the end of the round you hear more skeletons rising, getting out of their fits. Okay, we just do your god. There's another eight. There's now 18 down the hall in the wrong direction with arrows. This, the ones in front of you though, one more rises. You now see two ahead of you.

Oh, and this other one that was up in the mix is gonna take a crack at, let's say, Henry, because he's just swung at his friend who was not impressed by his Zippo tricks. I thought it was cool. Mrs. on the attack, Zirk, that is your turn. I am going to point blank them with my cross folk. Come on, sweetheart.

11? That doesn't it. The arrow goes perfectly through the skeleton's ribs. Oh, that was cool. Completely unaffected. Kind of a cool trick. I see what you're going for. The rest is.

The rest is nice. Look at this skeleton to see if they were impressed. That's a trick. Bookfire goes, I was impressed. Maybe hit them next time. That might be good. You didn't see what I was going for. I was doing a trick.

What do you want to do with your movements, Erk? I guess I will just get through the gate. OK, so you rush to the gate. These two are going to get opportunity attacks on you. Cool. One hits. Six damage. OK.

Slice is you with a rusty short sword that it now looks self-conscious about. Kind of hot. You see them trying to furiously, trying to polish it in between swings. That is Fiya's turn. OK, I'm going to hold my action for when swings. That is Fias turn. Okay, I'm going to hold my action for when Mr. Henry comes through.

Great, Henry, that is your turn. Mr. Henry, don't dattle. Okay, Mr. Henry is coming through. Okay, so Henry's gonna do like a dead Tom Cruise style sprint right down the alleyway and then at the last second. He's catching. Kick off one wall then the other one to try to get out the gate.

So good. Surprisingly light for his age. Every step looks like it hurts. And then you have to undersell your cell. Henry kicks off one wall, kicks off the other, slides across the dirt, kicks up a bunch of dust. Fiya, you use your action, use Mage Hand, grab the lever, pull it down,

you see the iron gate closes the way for the arrows. So you guys, as long as you get out of here quick, are safe for the time being. We live in this cave now. We can never go home. I know, I am thinking about the repercussions of these. Sorry, there's no foreposter bed, dude. I sleep on a cot.

Should I put out my cigar? Is this wrong for me to have a stinky cigar in such close proximity? I think it's the one thing that's keeping me from smelling only death decay and shrimp. So please keep it lit. Okay I keep I give my cigar going. Let's let's hoff it down this hallway. I roll up a little vanilla in it. Oh my god, you've got to roll me one of that. Believe. Take some beans, mash them, put them into the cigar. You guys light up cigars and pipes. It's less already lit. I just added some herb through it. You guys hear the banging of metal as these skeletons are trying to get through just controlled by this mindless

rage to protect the crypt against intruders. And you guys pull out your land turns again and wander into the darkness. And once again, you feel the chill of a spirit flowing through you. And that's where we'll end our session. I fucking knew it. I knew it. I knew you had to find it. I love how much you have run this campaign. There is a lot of running experiences.

I know. I was like, three episodes in and this is my second time taking the dash action. It's the mad dash. But also when you only have three spells, it's kind of like, well, you kind of gotta save them for us. I love being, it's like, it's spooky. We're being chased.

But we'll talk about it on the short rest. Yes, we will. We'll talk all about it on the short rest. Y'all can head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod that's NADD, D-P-O-D, don't sing yet. We are. Oh, dammit. Well, we'll do our after show and we'll talk about all of this stuff.

We're also going to level up at the beginning of the next episode. Oh, my God. I will all be free to make. Sweet guys, does anybody have anything to plug? You know what? You can buy our little scramble man, our little ballpark. Yeah, right. our little scramble man, our little pop-up. Right. So we are doing a campaign, a pre-sale for a stuffed plush pop-up, which is only available for the next two weeks, and then it's over.

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Cute. Show off your pop-ups. Look at that little pop-up. He's cute. So cute. He's really cute. He's fucked up that I don't have him yet. He looks so sad. He looks so sad.

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I don't know what Metofome is, but it's, I can't get my, I can't have enough of it now. But yes, this DVD is built as a classic tale with some modern magic. It also includes Joey Fattone as the Big Bad Wolf. So, we have to watch. What? What?

He was a better actor than anybody gives him credit for. Joey? Really? I don't think I've ever seen him in anything. Nor have I, but I just wanted to have a take on. He's a fun, I think. He's got charisma for this. He's got a boy band thing.

We gotta watch the film. See if he outshines Caval. He's a kind of boy band thing. We gotta watch the film. See if the out shines, Caval. He's the kind of boy band member you can have a beer with, you know? That's how I vote for my boy band. God, I wish I could just slurp down some honey with joy for time. And if you don't wanna slurp down some honey, you can do it at beesinthebirbs.com. That's beesinthehyphenbirbs.com to buy some of Kaylee Sweet Honey. I would also like to shout out Twitch and Discord mod Agniti

who sent us a glow in the dark mushroom, a tiny surrounded pop-up, and a novelization of the first 12 episodes of NAD pod. This mushroom is great. It's a little Ikea mushroom that Agniti painted to look a little more like the Crick and it's delightful. Thank you. Kevin S. AKA Calseque. It's Calseque with a cue on Twitch sent us an incredible deck of tarot cards called the Adventurer's Tarot. So by weird works.

They're really cool. It's like a fun way to almost like choose your next character because it has all the different like classes and it has like a lot of different classes and backgrounds and stuff, but that's tarot cards. And I know you're all wondering, do the cards feature gold inlay? They absolutely do feature gold inlay and I'm Gaga for that shit. It's so good.

I got for gold. I'm Gaga for the gold. You can get your own tarot set by visiting weirdWorks as well. Also, one last one, Abby sent us a nice letter and a copy of their character sheet for their very own green teen character, Finnie and Green Hill. Oh yeah, it's really cute. They also wrote a letter to Beverly, which just fully melts my heart, just fully kills me. Much like the horrors in our campaign, this letter is stolen my heart. So thank you for that. Thank you so much, Abby. It's a real treat getting to read these letters and just see all this fun stuff from fans. In addition, Charlotte also sent us a heartwarming letter and a postcard featuring a wombat for Emily.

Oh, I mean, honestly, I collect postcards. Thank you so much. I love postcards. And I collect Wombats. So we're, for the hell's my Wombat. And I collect heartwarming letters. So this really works out for all of us. Perfect. And one last one, Kendra at the Broken Boat Dice Shops and us all personal notes and custom dice.

I think I rolled on one of Kendra's dice this past episode. 220's too. Yeah, it might even one of those of Kendra's dice this past episode. Two, 20s too. Yeah, it might even one of those. Kendra, thank you so much. All right. Your dice are keeping me company.

Were these the green dice? Yeah. These are some like, oh yeah, they're really cool. They're beautiful green and green. It's great. Yeah. So thank you so much, Kendra. And check out Broken Boat Dice Shop on Etsy.

And that is all our shout outs. Thank you all so, so much for these sweet little gifts and treats They are all honey to me Sweet MetoFom to me and of course you can follow us all on Twitter at CH purfus me at call these call to all adiacs for Desemilian at shake or it's Jake and you can tweet about the show using hashtag mad pod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d Oh, but here it comes! It's the end of the show everybody and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D

Jeffreas, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M, Glass Blowers, who painstakingly crafted all the bottles and mugs in the Black Thorn tavern. Upon hearing the news, they all created Ornate, Glass, Goblets, filled them with ale and then poured that ale on the ground. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B, Soastians, Fencing coaches, they spend most of their day thinking of new ways to tell the Baron how incredible he is at fencing. Shubbert the mushroom, Danielle the Dasterdly Dame, Andrew M, Beard Bandan, and Scott D,

other spurned lovers whose ghosts now haunt Elder Morn, unlike the Broken Heart Banshee though, these ghosts all haunt coffee shops and bars in the hopes of bumping into their exes and getting some much needed closure. Danny P, Elena C, Mixologist Michael McD and Bounder's Boy, pranksters who defaced the Trickster statue outside of the chapel. For the bold act of tricking the Trickster, they each received a D100 of inspiration and also had their pants filled with itching powder for good

measure. Injury B, Justin I, TJ M. the Nobarbarian, Alaina M. and Traley the Kray Faye, the guild of shrimp smiths. These talented artificers have dedicated their lives to harnessing the unlimited power of crustaceans in ways Zirk can only dream about. Jerody, Christopher B, Austin, Bonesaw, MR, Damial R, and Jordan L, a crew of skeletons who had just settled in for a nice milk bath when a group of rowdy humanoids entered their tomb and started causing trouble, they even frothed the milk and everything unforgivable.

Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, Gage M, Skokilla, Destin Sea and Richard X Machina, Ghostbusters hired by Soastion to exterminate his ghost dad. Unfortunately, Soastion's dad brought up some really valid critiques of his son, and now the Ghostbusters work for him as hired muscle. Watch out gang! Michael L, Kelvin Nudol, Sergio Celesar Selma and Sekariya Stasequani, Tress the Traveller and Jory S. The house band add Blackthorn Hall called the Broken Heart Banshees, who are deeply torn over whether to change their name or lean into it. Kaila Mel, Ryan, Jack L. and flawless Whale, Shrimp Farmers in El Dormorn, who exclusively farm Shrimp for the Baron Scampy.

Temporal, Sam L, Nicolassie, Risen S, Samuel B, and Mike H, the owners of El Demorne's most respected in-ground pool digging service. They used to be grave diggers, but then the deceased started coming to life and needed to be kept in tombs, so they pivoted and invented the pool. Matthew E. Colton B. Adam G. Mateo C. and Eric B, a group of best friends who was at Black Thorn Hall when the spirit compelled everyone to fight. They're all super confused and side-barring with each other trying to figure out what in the heck happened. Panama James, Adrian the Halfling Bard, Johnny Chen, Anaman tolect, and Dan, a family of pool,

risulcas, they haunt and above-ground pool just outside of Thorn Kirk, singing songs to lore innocent people into their poorly-ph-balanced pool. Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty, Ceci Lulu and Jay, the committee to re-elect the Baron, since it's illegal to run against the Baron, it's kind of just a way to put public funds into parties and call it campaigning. Barnes & Adder, Douglas A. Michelle O. Luke H. Aiden R.H. and Ritterin, bookfars, best books who meet up weekly for a book club. These books talk about whatever book they're reading that week, but bookfars' dirty

secret is he always watches the movie version of the book. Timmy R, Lucas B, Erinass, Kevin M, Austin C, the friendly ghosts of Elder Morn. These spirits are so hospitable, they make Casper look like his no-good shit uncles. Hogfishes above average hog, New York, Steven C, KJ and Michael Meyer, Blackthorn Hall gamblers that made an insane prop bet that Henry would win two out of three matches before being disqualified via guidance cantrip, they'll be rich as long as they survive the bar brawl. Rool N, Mike K, Max will see Nick L and Karen T, members of the powerful Bunk Giniac

crime family, they're still hunting down their missing member Sib, who is wanted for wasting cigars. Ekathor 666, Paul of House Crewm, Happy Birthday, Justin Raccoon, Nick W, Michael C, and Robert F, Bar Fighters who became best friends after Fias Command spell for 5 minutes, then they went back to beating the shit out of each other. As may M, Spartagnus, Nathan, Kazemir the All Knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad and Eric McD, the last people to have swum in the Baron's pool, they all ate so much scampy and cramped up so bad that they vowed never to swim again. Burley T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius Caesar, Augustus, Germanicus, Christiana, and J. Dragonborn,

distinguished members of the Bowman family whose family tradition is to bury every deceased relative with a shortbow, a sword, and a quiver with 50 arrows just in case. Jonathan O, the San Drayan, Ben A, Feldonis, and Dave H, Bookfars Book Club. They don't read, they're all just books who hang out and do drugs together. Catherine S, David K, Christian S, Keith K, Brittany B, and Kyle H, the chefs who cooked the barren shrimp scampi. Usually they enjoy the leftovers since the barren doesn't eat the best part of the shrimp but they were sadly left in the lurch this time. Emilio D, Frankie Cuala, Big Bad John, Astoness, Blair the Bug, Blair Bar Blaring and Porkchop,

patrons of the bar who got hit with darts during the bar brawl from Dart Guy. Each of them hung onto their darts to exact their revenge, they're currently waiting outside for Dart Guy to leave. Chanel M, Christian P, depressed demon hunter, Alice, Minette F, and Pat L, skeletons from the crypt who only looked like they were running after our heroes, in reality they just like to jog in their training for a charity 5K. Lauren H, Matthew JL, Ginnyinnina E, Maddy Y, the eldest Barry and Ryan S, other books who have attempted to make their own cheese, each with less success than the last, though Ryan S was able to create

some passable monster. The bone duster Nathan J, Joshua H, Robit, CRSP, Idris Hill and Big Bad Mac, Henry's makeover team, they took one look at him and realized that a boyishly handsome young man is hiding under Henry's ruggedly handsome face and they can't wait to unearth it. Brent Lee C. Demarby, Micah B. Carlyann, Clark of the Thunderfuck's, Jorge C. Fias dental hygienist who polish her lower teeth, it takes a village but it's worth it when you catch the moon like glinting off Fia's crisp under bite. Pupi, Pupi, Pupi, Conor Savage, B-Chef, Russell H, Christopher J.O. and Logan S, a group of hairstyles that visited Zirk. They took one look at his accidental multi-colored highlights and decided there was nothing they could do.

His hair was already as cool as it could ever be. And that's all for this week. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course, all of our benevolent council of elders. You can head on over to patreon.com slash nadpod to listen to our after show, the short rest,

until then, we'll see y'all next time. That was a hate gun podcast. Until then, we'll see y'all next time.