Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 31: Disciples of the Scythe

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

The Third Mates explore the mysterious city of Endoterra! Zirk dabbles in energy drinks, Fia finds a new familiar, and Ill Luck Henry strikes again. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Drum Cadences" by Kiddpark at Freesound.org. "Fanfare with Snare" by Vitovsky1 at Freesound.org."Crowd Cheering" by Gregor Quendel at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Zelbuldar" by Emily Axford."Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford."A Friend For Life" by Emily Axford."Alone" by Emily Axford."The Petty Guard" by Emily Axford."Broken Heart Banshee" by Emily Axford."Demi-God" by Emily Axford."Buzzer's Cutters" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code PAPA-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Elder more and everybody. Elder more.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. See, Shanty singing, shadow bringing guys arm swinging, coach up swimming, Henry Hogfish. Yes. Thank you. Wow. Got a clap from Emily. That was really good because I feel like you fumbled a bit lately and that one was pure poetry.

I loved it. The fumbling waves heavily on my conscience, actually. This has come back. And Nick with coach of swimming was really a nice touch. It took me some time to get there. Yeah. And then of course Emily asked for it. The V2 choose this, save us from the missed Fia Borgina.

Yes indeed. Short and sweet. And finally of course, Codal Tanner. Hurled into this, now everything's batshit. My world is a disc like my name's Terry Pratchett. Whoa. It's actually Zirk Vane, but you get it for the run. A-B-A-B.

We're all poetry masters now. We've mastered the form. We're laryx. We're getting tougher to pass. I don't have the confidence to go for AB, AB, because I know I'll lose them the second that the first two lines don't rhyme. That I haven't garnered enough trust.

Yeah. People won't just turn off a podcast. Yeah. We started hemorrhaging listeners on campaign two. I got 31. What changed? I think we should just from now on, let's forget the rhymes and just scream our names as loudly as possible.

Kind of do that with the honk thing. That's true. Yes, but oh, those are dark times. I'm surprised we didn't have a chance. I was about to say I don't think I'm used to the baddest day I don't think I've missed the longs. I don't miss the longs. At least for Mersek. Well, I mean, Emily has a lot of instruments.

You could ship the instruments to us and then we could just do like a live band session every episode of the beginning of the... Okay, that's true. Yeah, it would be easy to ship a giant electric drum kit. Honestly, it was a combination of the horn instrument with the honk jokes. So Kultwell already had the horn.

Yeah, you're asking for more instruments, man. We elevate the comedy during that period where it's like usually comedy works in threes. We had it work like 12 times. Like 12, that's it. That's it. We're adding spin in the. It was like, my name is Haubon.

To the third power. Yeah, right. Yeah, people go A to C or A to B for their rhyme scheme, but we went A to Z. Yeah. We went A to C. Okay, everybody, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time you guys prepared to leave West precinct

after seeing the lab teleport away. Walder emerged from the woods and told you that he was regaining some of his memories, including some fairy promises that he couldn't share with you. However, he theorized that he could work around this and unlock some more memories if he could find his current reincarnation. Batilda left to help him find himself. And the rest of you joined Lusgar and the Deep Folk on a trip back to Zelbaldar 7. That night, you spoke to Tab, who warned you about the situation in Endotera. Apparently there is a power struggle between two forces, the awakened and the disciples,

the latter of which are led by an emperor, called Lord Scythe, who believes the purpose of Endotarans is to protect the city and destroy humans. You spoke to Gres, before going to bed for the night, then woke up and used the telephork, to teleport to Endotera slash Zelbaldar, the last known whereabouts of Arena-slash-Seranesis. We've got a lot of names for things, not even including the hogs. During the teleportation, Fia was dragged down by a mysterious force, and the three of you were separated from Tab and Lusgar. Instead of landing, in awakened territory, you ended up in a strange mist outside of the

Emperor's castle. After a harrowing encounter, that saw Hank get extremely confused, Zirk get knocked out, and Fia get quasi-vision of her father. You escaped and reached the edge of a cliff. There, you realized that you were not in awakened territory, but rather right outside of Endo castle in the heart of disciple territory. And that's where we are now. Shit. So you guys are atop this cliff. You see in the city below, there are all these people and creatures moving

through the city. They appear to be going towards this big Coliseum building. Oh, and by the way, the third mates have leveled up. They leveled up after the mist and fight at the end of West precinct, so they are level nine. I learned a lot from that mist. Yeah.

Actually, before we go further, Fia Bogania has been trying to learn a spell for so long, and in leveling up, it finally has ripened in her little lichy's heart. So I would like to cast Sending to Irina. Whoa, Henry sits down on a rock and kind of just watches this. Oh, it's gonna be cool, show. Yeah, Zirk kicks a rock off the of just watches this. Oh, it's gonna be cool, show. Yeah. Zirk kicks a rock off the cliff to see how far down it goes.

Zirk, I'm on the phone, okay? You see it hits the emperor, you're all murdered. Oh my God, you have a strong foot. What's he doing there? Fiya, go ahead and give me an insight check as you go to cast it. Dirty 20. Dirty 20, okayirty 20, okay?

Ooh, okay. So, Fiya, you cast this sending spell to Arena. What is the message you're trying to send? Okay, so it's only 25 words, so I say, I'm sorry, I didn't try to find you sooner. I thought you were safer without me. Maxora has book far, but I am coming.

Damn, do I hear that? If Fiya quietly says it to herself as she sends it, what can I? I push Henry away as he tries to eavesdrop. I was just like this a show. Fiya tries to think it, but she whispers it a little bit. Yeah, Henry reads lips and cries. With cup in your ear

So we're gonna find there you send this message out Well, I like to picture that my little words are like flying my like my little books 200 As they're flying out Arena should be able to respond to you if she receives it and you feel responds to you if she receives it. And you feel the spell fizzles. You feel that as you are sending it out, after you've already successfully kind of cast it, something stops it from reaching its destination.

And with that insight check, you realize that in this place, that tab kind of described as being this very kind of like authoritarian place. It makes sense that they wouldn't want ways for people to be able to communicate quietly or in their heads to be able to like send messages and stuff. So it seems like there might be some kind of block on this area of the city. However, it seems to have fizzled after you sent the message. So it's not

about you not being able to cast this spell. It's about somebody here not being able to receive it, which means arena is probably somewhere in this area, whether it be in the town right outside the castle, whether it be in the castle itself, the Colosseum, somewhere near here, you get the sense that she's around here. We're getting one more. It's a look of resolve on their face. She gathers up all her little words that flew from her mouth that are now in a nonsensical jumble.

She shoves them back into her mouth and she says, let's go, arenas in there. Henry stands up in a nonsensical jumble. She shoves them back into her mouth and she says, let's go. Rinus in there. Henry stands up in a plodz. You gotta double you hanging out of your mouth. No, those are my tasks. Okay, Bravo. Okay, but actually before we go decompress, we just went through some crazy shit. I may have talked to my dad or maybe my idealized version of my dad. I, you saw a bunch of me which actually sounds kind of sick. Yeah, it was awesome. Oh, what is it? It was awesome.

I've never had that many friends before. It was pretty cool. I also felt more like a birthday party. Yeah, except everyone was kind of stressed out. But, yeah, I came face to face with myself, hatred. It did not rule. You passed out for a minute, man. Did I? Yes.

You might want to take some healing potions if you have them. Oh, yeah, that might be good. Zirk passes out again. Does everyone mind if we just sit here for a little short rest so I can make Philip be a little familiar for me? Yeah, I would love a little familiar time as well, actually. I think we're going to need all the reconnaissance we can get. Yes, I'm thinking this. Then I guess I plop down on the

edge of this cliff with my feet dangling over this very scary terrain and I take out Philip and I say, Mr. Philip? Mr. Philip? Yeah, what? Okay, so you know how sometimes me and Bukfah are kind of like a special relationship? Yeah, duh. I see it all the time. It's like fucking annoying, but it's also like, beautiful.

I was wondering if you wanted to be my friend. Yes, yes, yes. And I cast fine familiar on him. He used ritual cast to cast fine familiar and you see Philip begins flapping in the air. Whoa, this is cool, I guess. Whoa, whoa, begins flying in and out all around here. Somehow that book is smiling. Careful, you might lose your surly attitude.

Shut the fuck up, dude. There it is. Shut the fuck up. Slap it and flapping thread-mingly and hit it. Hey, look, I like your little glasses. I like your little glasses. Oh, no, no, no. They're cute.

Actually, inspired by this, there's an infusion I've been wanting to do. I've been carrying around all of this extra mecha equipment that I got from the scrapers. And I would like to reforge Spritell's carapace. Sweet. So I actually, I show Spritell the plans first because I want their input on it. I want to make sure that they like what I'm doing.

Spritell sort of flashes. you get the sense as your familiar, um, spreadl isn't communicating in sort of a normal language, but you intuitively kind of know how they feel. And they communicate that they want to bridge the gap between being a sprites and what they were before. They don't want it to be as like heavy, they wanna still be able to fly around and be playful and be a sprite,

but like some of the abilities that it afforded them to be able to have like a little mexu. You were, you were trapping a smimmer, a diver, in a submarine before. Interesting. Yeah, it was a little clunky. A certain pretend like he's not hurt. I wonder if you might like something with a little more dexterity, a little more mobility to it.

You see, uh, Spritele flashes like a little beacon. So the idea I had in mind for Spritele Mark II was kind of the same kind of lantern head, but with like actually a little humanoid body. Almost like, I'm kind of picturing it like the winged monkeys from Wizard of Oz, but with like a lantern head. So like a little robot monkey, this kind of what I'm saying.

But also, if that's not what Sprite will want, I want them to be happy. Sweet, yeah, I'll say you essentially make like, because before you had built essentially like a little UFO that Sprite was almost like carrying. So Sprite will became like more powerful, but Sprite will also maybe a little clunkier. You essentially just make Spritele like a little flight suit.

Yes. And you see, oh yes, I love this. Yeah, as they combine with this new little mech that you made, you see they start zipping all around and you just see flashes of light of Spritele looking like extremely happy. And you even see as Spritele zips around near where you guys are, the mist is like dissipating.

Whoa. Whoa. That's what you're doing. Whoa. Sprydell, I'm so proud of you. You know what? You've kept a lot of promises for us. It's time I make one for you.

Whatever you need for me, I'm there. If you need protection, if you need a helping hand, if you need distance, just let me know. I wanna be there for you. You see, Spritell flashes, then lands on your shoulder, and you get this feeling that they just need a friend. They just wanna buddy. Anytime.

This inspires me to do something nice for Spoonie. So I have my pocket spewriously. Anytime this inspires me to do something nice for Spoonie Fiat takes out a inanimate spoon Yeah, about that so it actually would kind of take a while to Oh, not only take a minute. Okay, oh Wait, miss miss hold up hold up hold up miss um just give him the regular ass spoon Just give him the regular fucking spoon miss Andri's eyes are watering as he reaches his hands out for the spoon. Yeah. Oh

He speaks Shut up everyone is making Yeah, you can't help but absolutely snicker to it Hey actually um you fucking smell bad and you suck dude Man holy shit get back in the mist you fucking you don't mean that you don't mean that spoon I'm like they're doing inside check to see if he knows that this is not funny. It's absolutely Besides Hank who is completely absorbed with Spoonie and might not notice everyone else see that's very clearly fill up You don't know what you're saying Spoonie

Feel the base weather or not, but she also feels like she just made a connection with Philips, so she's not gonna turn it down. And I just, I just yell, we'll talk about this later and I put Spoonie in my back pocket. The family grows. Okay, so what do we fucking do? Because we are about to go down into this place that is not hospitable. Right.

I don't know who's in charge here, but I have to assume the worst, which is that it's the disciples, right? I think for sure. I think the castle is where the emperor lives. And Tab said that there's creatures of all shapes and sizes here. We just need to try to blend in, right? Can we just, can we make a disguise?

And you do see Hank, so as you look down, you do see there are people like Tab who just look like regular zombie people and then there's people who look like giant spiders. There's like all manners of monster and disguising yourself as a particular person is very hard, but just blending into a crowd is a little bit easier. Right. So we might not even really need to use spells as much as like it's more like how we post turned

in or social engineering. Yeah, I'm wondering if we could just, if we could just pull a cocoa and like put a little eyeshadow under our eyes to make ourselves look a little more gaunt. Oh, that's good. That's good with me. So it kind of grabs some of the like dark soil and just kind of rubs it under his eyes.

Yeah, yeah, I'll say you guys can do, I'll say you guys have like materials to make like, essentially make up to, essentially make yourself look like, you know, a little bit more salo like darker under your eyes And I have shank basically like layer himself on me. So I'm kind of like a shadowy. Oh, yeah Yeah, you just got you know, you are one with your shadow. So there's just like darkness around the edge of your fingers and stuff awesome Feel already looks pretty close to this aesthetic So I think she looks to Mr. Zerke Mr. Henry so insecure. What should I do? I'm going to stick out like a sore on that dumb

Oh, I was kind of modeling my look after you I think you're let's let's Zerke let's, Zirk, let's make her up. She looks way too vibrant and light. Oh yeah, yeah. We got it dead. We got it dead. This girl up. I just rebraid Fia's hair exactly the same as it was.

Thank you. We're really dodge the bullet there. Yeah. Zirk just sprinkles a little dust on her shoulder. Wow. Um, yeah. You guys, you know, just like scraping yourselves up a little bit. You guys are on this cliff. There's like mud and rocks and everything. And you guys have seen

zombies in elder morn. It's like, if it's a fresher zombie, it just looks like a normal human, but who has been buried, often decaying, but maybe not all of them is decayed. So, right. And if worse comes to worse, I do have an alter self potion ready to go, so we can chuck that back. I have it prepared. So yeah, in a pinch, we can make ourselves look even better. Okay. Great.

All right, shall we go in and experience what is happening down here? Let's do it down. So yeah, you's climb down. So you guys climb down as you get into the city here. I think can we kind of like, can we definitely still kind of sneak in? Oh yeah. Like, just kind of really being like not walking into town, like hugging corners and shadows and whatnot.

Of course, yeah. Yeah, so you guys kind of stick to the edge of town. You feel the heat of this like, you know, strange blue lava river in the middle of the city. Circus so tempted to lick it. Such an instant death. And you do see that, go ahead and give me a perception checks. And we took a short rest, right?

Sure, yeah. Cool. Ooh, not 20. Wow. I love it. Hank, you see that everyone is heading towards this Colosseum, except for like very, very few people. You see like the people who aren't going are like looking out of their windows kind of scared

and then instantly as soon as they like lock eyes with you, go back in. Okay, interesting. I report that back. It is either mandatory or socially strange to not go. You get that sense with a net 20. All right. Hey, Alright, maybe we make some friends with some other folk that don't want to go to the big scary Colosseum. Yeah, maybe they might have some things in common with us. Do we see any sort of insignia or branding to suggest factions? Oh yeah, you see Reaper stuff everywhere. Like big banners with scales all over it.

You see nothing Anti-reaper at all. I would like to cast Detect thoughts and kind of read the surface thoughts of all this crowd. Oh shit Fia mostly excitement You see that in fact a lot of people have their own weapons. Like this is not just like that are going to fight. Yes, like they are going and not just oh you ran into a few of the

gladiators like essentially the crowd at a baseball game people bringing their own mitts like people bringing their own fucking maces to the Coliseum. Wow. What are with the first 10,000 in-get? It's gonna be a fucking blood bath. Yeah, so Fiat, there is definitely a buzz of excitement. But I also want to feel the people who are not going. Oh.

Cause I've got like a 30-foot radius I can just like run around on. Yeah, so Hank, Hank, Hank kind of like points out a house where he saw somebody like look out and then kind of like dart their head back. The people who aren't going deep, deep, deep, fear, deep fear. Do their thoughts feel more awakened like tab? Does it feel as though some of them are awakened and some of them are leaving an awakened life or?

So here's what I will say with surface thoughts. All of these creatures are sentient. These are not regular horrors. These people who are all wrapped up in this frenzy who are bringing their own weapons are sentient beings who are pumped to go see a show and to go honor the Emperor. There are some people amongst the crowd that you sense are only going along so that they don't get in trouble. Okay, but it's almost like it's not like a divide based on sentence. It's a divide based on taste. Everyone is, everyone is sentient. Okay, I relay this information to everyone.

Okay, um. I'll keep it running if we want to approach one of these people who's avoiding. There is a fucking part of me that desperately wants to go to this fucking gollumsy and fight, but this is a sick part of me that desperately wants to go to this fucking galaxy and fight but this is a sick part of me. No, that you're not wrong. I think we should go, right? Phil, you played a meat joke on Mr. Hank.

You can't be my conscience. What played a what? What's your what are you talking about? Of course, this happened. I know which of course. Phil, what are you talking about? What joke are you playing me? What joke? Of course, bookmark was my fear and you are my audacity.

Fear, you put eye black under your eyes. Okay, no, just think about it everybody. Okay, for one second, let's fucking just have a think, right? All these people are going to do something sick and awesome, right? Cool. Are we gonna go with them? I don't like, agree with the premise? Cool. Are we gonna go with them? I don't like, agree with the premise. Okay.

Are we gonna go with them? I'm absolutely, I did not realize how much I am affected by my companionship. Right. Or do we want to go with the people who are, oh, I want to stay inside. What? I mean, inside's pretty good, right? That's where your stuff is. Right.

But, what, all the people who have like book foreign shit, are they gonna be inside? Okay, alright, that's a pretty good point. Oh, if we want to find Maksora, she is most likely going to be at an event honoring the Emperor or be the Emperor. What if we go up to one of these people that's headed towards the Coliseum and we're like, Hey, we're freshly dead! What's going on? Like, we're like, uh, you know, we act like we just fell off of the undead turnip truck.

That's all right. So that's one option. Like, you're your brain just flashes back to tap being like, it just keep a low profile. Okay. Only other ideas that we sing the song again. No, here's the thing. I would still love to know the prank that you pulled on me. I can't feel like a kick me sign on my back,

so we'll have to talk about it later. But you're right. I think going into these houses, I don't know if we're gonna learn anything that Tab didn't already tell us, that there's some people that are afraid and some people that are on the other side, on the reaper side.

So let's go to the Colosseum, and we'll try to see what they're up to. Let's go to the Colosseum. Okay, and if you want to make a friend and tell them that you just are freshly undead, do it at the at the bar so they're kind of drunk. Yeah, do it at the bar after. The smart, right after after we have a nice good blood bath and we're all pretty hopped up. Okay, all right.

Yes, I I surrender to the flow of foot traffic. Yes, so again, this is, you guys aren't in a situation where you're like going to a dinner party and pretending to be somewhere else. It's just like, you're all going to a basketball game. Nobody's talking to you. It's just like you're just another fucking couple people. Or some people wearing jerseys.

There's definitely some people that are dressed like gladiators and you're like, wow, you're a fanboy. This is what happened when we went to the Pittsburgh Steelers game. Nobody knew that we had never been to a Steelers game. Exactly. Exactly. We were there.

We ordered a beer like everyone else. I got cornered, man. Somebody asked me a lot of questions. You like the Seahawks, bro? So as you guys head towards the Colosseum, you guys join this Throng of Undead. I hate there's this like buzz of excitement in the air. People are just like, yeah, like I said,

they brought their own like flails and bases and stuff. I'm hoping to get in there today, man. Yeah, I think I'm really, I'm gonna get picked this time. You got a shot, man. This guy's arm is cursed actually. Do you think you guys are gonna get picked? Yeah, I'm gonna get picked this time. You got a shot, man. This guy's arm is cursed actually. Do you think you guys are gonna get picked? Yeah, I'm hoping.

How are you going to increase your chances? That's what I want to figure out. Ah, you don't really get to pick. I mean, if your card turns up the right way, then you get to go in. You know what I'm saying? You can't pick if you're picked. Right, because you, yeah, exactly.

Oh, this dude knows, this dude knows! Maybe he'll send her us! Fill up your right, this rule! This dude, this is fucking awesome! I know. As you guys near the structure itself, despite this like rowdy undead crowd, you see, as soon as they get near the Colosseum, they begin lining up in tight formation.

Oh shit, do we need tickets? I'm ready to mine the illusions on. At least a QR code. They seem highly intimidated by what look like endotarine royal soldiers. You see these dragons on skeletal horses carrying long lances. Dragon?

Dragon's, these like mounted warriors. They're in black armor with horned helms, with like maws that stretch out past their faces. They almost look like dragon skulls. You see that everybody's like, once they get near the Colosseum, they just get like an orderly line, but you see a few people get into like a shoving match over who was first,

and you see the dragons instantly launch them, and they're just gone. Back in line, your behavior dissonners the Lord's side. Oh. You believe those guys? And we can still stay inside. So distressed, yeah, you see the dudes they were talking to you guys as you were walking, and they go,

can't believe they would disrespect the Lord's sides like that, right? That's so fucking weird. Right if we don't want to disrespect the Lord's side What do we do exactly? We just have to stay in line and follow every order Awesome That's so fun. That's one of my favorite things to do What's your strategy if you get in there? Just to have a little conversation going, it's so fun talking to people who also like the same sport you do. Right. When people tell me to cheer, I cheer. When people tell me to fight, I fight. All for the cause.

All for the cause. All for the cause. All for the cause. For the cause of course. We are one body, one spirit. One body, one. We serve the Lord's siph. He is the hand of the Father Reaper. Get slogans everywhere. I hate this. Is it required to repeat everything back or do we just keep on walking? Well, we'll say the anthem once we get in. Of course. Of course. Right. The anthem. He is starting to get nauseous from all this Reaper imagery and like Reaper order and

it's okay. We just got to take it. just got to take you to the concession stand, all right? We're gonna get you a hotdog and everything's gonna be okay. Right, they do have soft pretzels, right? The last time I was around a bunch of riled up Reapers, it changed my life. Yeah, we're gonna get you two hotdogs. How about a double dog? I am a big girl, big growing girl child.

Stung growing? Fuck. I am a big girl, big, growing, girl child. Stunning. Stunning, fuck. Yeah. So you guys, see, you don't need tickets. This is like a public event. Everybody's allowed in. You guys enter the Colosseum and see that there are stone benches, interred stadium-style seating.

There are these blue flames everywhere lighting the venue. Across from where you guys are sitting, you guys see a raised box overlooking the entire arena with a throne. It looks like it would be the seat of the emperor, but right now no one is there of black sand with these blue flame torches all around the outside. In the center of the black sand pit is a stone platform with a large etching of scales on it. And as you go to find a seat you do see that there is a card placed on every foot or so of space on the bench and the onlookers happily snatch up the cards as they sit down. And you guys see, for being a rowdy crowd with their own weapons, everyone is extremely

orderly. It's like, everyone, there's no like people directing them. They go to the end of the line. Everyone sits down once they get there, everyone's very orderly, and you guys sit down next to like the dude who is next to you guys in line. I can't wait to see the emperor. How many feet away is the emperor's box? I'll say across the, I'll say the sand pits is probably about 100 feet wide, and then he's a little up like 150 feet and 50 feet away.

I think we should wonder, should we go invisible and try and get into the, get into the Emperor's Box, he's not there yet. How many dragons are around him again? You see right now there's about six up there and you saw the, the people that these dragons killedons killed their like heads exploded as these dudes just like I'm saying I can cast invisible and then I'm gonna turn to our sin you could I'm Philip what do you think?

Apparently we listen to Philip now I look at Philip and I say I'm trying to be frugal with my spells now Right um yeah, I don't know. Sorry, why does Philip make every decision? Can we ask Boone? Can we ask my spoon? Yeah, my thought is that. What do you think? Yeah, everyone quiet. I think that you should jump down in the sand, pitch.

It's like, and pull your pants down. And take your shit. Oh, thanks, though. Oh, thank you. And they'll be bending over so that your ankles are behind your head so that you sheet on your pants down. Take your shit. Oh, thanks, though. Oh, thank you. And they'll be bending over so that your ankles are behind your head so that you sheet on your own face. You fucking idiot.

All right. All right, you need a nap. Tony's tired. He doesn't even see the book so obviously flapping. I mean, it's easy for a book to throw their voice. So you guys see the guy next to you, picks up his card, and flashes it to you guys. You see this dark red backing with gold set of scales on it,

and on the front side of it, it's blank, except for a gold frame, and you see he goes, Here's open, my flame comes up red. So that's how we know. Good. Yeah. Us too. See you in the rain, brother.

Yes, everything about this is good. Zerke's round? I'm gonna pick up the card and try and inspect it. Yeah. Even though I know that that's gonna bind to me to it in some way. Go ahead and give me an investigation check or an arcanic check. 16? Zirk.

You see that this is clearly something magical that needs like a trigger. It's impossible to tell right now what is going to happen with it. Okay. Does it feel like it's bound to me in some way though? Like I'm kind of- No. I've entered a contract. No. Okay, that's good.

But it seems like everyone is kind of like excitedly holding their cart. Going invisible doesn't seem like a terrible idea. We don't necessarily have to go to the Emperor's box if that's risky, but holding one of these cards and having our number come up, that seems scary. So it seems like there's kind of two ways that we get to meet the emperor, which is that either we engage in combat and triumph and get an audience

with them, or we do fias plan where we dimensioned or up there right now. It does seem like the better option is to engage in combat, get that attention that way. I'm just going to say to the person who was saying, here's hoping my flame comes up right, Sam. Hey, are you an Emperor, Stan? Absolutely. I really want to win the dinner with the Emperor. Yes, we're simps for the Emperor. Wait, wait, there's a dinner with the Emperor?

Are you fucking serious? Yeah. He's saying. Right? You don't even have to make a deception check with this dude. He's just a fucking moron. I started with him and I said, never mind. I think there's not a dinner with the emperor.

You just hear lots of whispers. There's a dinner. There's a dinner. There's a dinner. I think there's a dinner. Maybe we should just use the distraction of the battle to try to get in there and get the emperor hostage. No, we are here because we are waiting to see if Maksora shows up in the Emperor's box.

That is what we are. Fear stay on track. Do not let Philips rad behavior seduce your threat let's fucking kill the emperor miss i know that's why see you having your book for here yeah i think Philip is i think i think Philip is a bad influence i don't want to overstep but as a rad influence yes jump down in the sand to try to fight everybody here you're right we should, we should wait and see what the Emperor has to say, or if Maksora shows up. I think we need more information. Um, after a bit, you guys see a drum line, and the line of trumpeters come out and play

an opening song. It's all very epic, you hear cheers all throughout the Colosseum and suddenly you guys see this master of ceremonies And this black and blue robe with huge shoulder pads like white and powdery makeup or Perhaps is just dead and just like white and very very salo skin You see he casts this spell that projects his voice, you see the small barrier of arcane energy surround his mouth as his voice booms and he goes, people of Endotera, join me in welcoming our Lord Scythe. It goes from cheering to just just imperfect unison people chanting.

He is the right hand of our father, the Reaper, our eyes in the dark, keeper of the old ways, the one who tips the scales in our favor. Glory to the Reaper, glory to the Lord's side, glory to Endotera. I'm gonna need those hot dogs right now. Hey, hey, two, Who's done the double? Two dead dogs. You see there's a dude with like a tray in front of him selling stuff,

but he's got these big giant living 25 pounds like beetle looking things. And he goes, How many of them you want? I promised they're two. I said two. I don't know if you're gonna eat them both but too. Yeah! Oh he's throwing him. He's throwing him.

I'm so huge too. Ask for utensils. I don't mind being wasteful right now. Okay, I have a spoon. And actually he needs to be punished. I eat tosses dude, a couple gold. You get two huge fucking beetles the size of small dogs And they are alive. Yeah, are there buns? Are there at least buns? There's no buns You see the dude next to you guys goes or you go see the whole thing or I got one for you Okay, thanks just blight

I want to see how he eats it. Okay, he bites into it. A crack. So there are no cracks. It like he's eating a lobster. Okay. Okay. Hello, suit. Sweet. Now you break this shell. Fia, you eat it. It is sustenance.

It doesn't taste great. Does it settle my stomach from the nausea of being surrounded by Reaper propaganda? Absolutely. I mean, give me a constitution to say if you throw it. I see if you like love it somehow. Three. No, it makes you ill. You are gagging as you try to eat this beetle.

It stays alive for a huge bite. I throw up into the beetle shell. Fia, I know this is a difficult time for you, but do you want a beer? I think that the answer to my upset stomach is to keep putting things in it. So yes Three beers over here, please Get for for our buddy. You see they toss you three drinks

And since a majority of the people are like zombies who don't necessarily need sustenance These drinks are more like drugs than they are like beer and they have like this waft of them. It's more about the smell than it is about like consuming them. And you are hit with this like insane funk as you grab these drinks. I'm home. Does it settle my stomach? You gotta give me a constitution saving throw. 17. There you go!

You're digging the endotera beer, the endotera paleoil It's like a big IPA, you know, it's not a stout but I'll take it Yeah, you sip it and it's stinky but it tastes good Nice You guys hear after this like weird chant and you guys getting snacks You guys hear there's this loud booming cheer as the Lord Scythe enters with an armored entourage and more of these dragons. You see he's 12 foot tall, exceedingly skinny skeletal figure with long claws that shoot out beyond his robe. He wears a huge crown of gold with gold shoulder pads with two big

scales around his neck and he holds a ceremonial gold and crusted side. You see he, as he reaches his box, slams the side into the ground and everyone goes from cheering to whew, silent instantly. and everyone goes from cheering to silent instantly. Except for us. Okay. Except for you guys as you crunch, and you just feel a bunch of people like look around at you. Be just respectful. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You see the master of ceremonies moves the sort of little barrier that is amplifying voices moves it over to the emperor and you hear his voice go. I am the sithe of the Reaper but you are his spirit together. We are one body who can face any challenge and you hear loud it cheers without throughout the crowd and he continues and he goes no hold up your cards and ask him to judge you okay this I can't do this I cannot do I've been judged on favorably once by him all right everyone around you begins humming just a sustained You see people turn over their cards you see Most of the cards bring up these blue flames, but some of them turned to red

Everyone go ahead and give me luck checks. And I guess actually before you give me your luck checks, do you want to be chosen or not? Okay, so I think that Fia hears the beat judged by the Reaper and it's deeply personal and deeply disturbing, so I think she doesn't even flip over her card. Oh. Okay. I think she pushes the card, like instinctually, is like I cannot subject myself to another judgment. So we'll say Fia's answer is no. Yeah.

Okay. I think that Zerke is still kind of on a fact-finding mission and just wants to observe what happens and thinks his chances are better in the booth. Also, we probably sense is that Fia doesn't want this. So I think Zirk stays and we'll use tinkering or whatever to change the color of Fia's card if it turns red.

Okay, so, but do you want it or no? No, you don't. Okay, head and re. I don't want it. Okay, so if you guys roll very low on your luck checks, so everyone go ahead and roll me luck checks. I rolled it 10. Okay, 17. It's a fucking one.

Oh no. You guys turn your cards around. And you see all across the Colosseum, all these people turn their cards. Fiya, you see, despite you holding it down, you feel your card turn around on its own, like magically and bursts into blue flame. And you see most people around the Colosseum, their flames turn blue, but there are about 100 people

with red-flamed cards and Hank yours is one of them. And you hear the Emperor go... Those with red flame have been chosen to represent the Empire! You hear loud cheers throughout the Colosseum. Join us in the pits! Um, and you see a bunch of people excitedly start heading down there. You guys see the guy next to you guys

got a blue on his card, but starts patting Henry and goes like you got chosen, man, you got chosen, get down there! Oh, jeez. If I change the color, it's not gonna be good. Ella Kenry added again. Do you want me to hold your beer? How do you... skulls it?

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hang pounds it. Um fuck. Fio, what do we do? Should we change our colors? Yes. We should change it.

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slash papa or enter promo code papa at checkout. That's burdogs.com slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your burdogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. So, Fiya and Zirk, you magically change your cards to be red to match Henry's. You join a throng of excited people down in the pit, your boots sinking into the black sand. You're just around all these people. Some people have, you know, actual like weapons, like swords and maces and axes and everything.

And some people have like improvised weapons, like pitchforks or whatever. And there's just this big buzz of excitement in the air just real new metal energy a chorus of I gelled back as their cousin If anyone gets down in the sickness, I can't heal you can I touch Philip as he flies into the air and cast dragons breath Sure, it's gonna want to be here for this. Yeah.

You love love slip now. But I'm like Philip, I like touch him and I'm like, you're not very strong flying to the air then come in. You say I'm not really strong because actually I am super freaking strong. So, yes, you're right. That's true. But you can also fly, which is so sick. Right.

Yeah, never seen a book with muscles before, it's gross, I hate it. I've filled up flaps of the air. You see the veins of his cover pulsating. As the crowd of fighters gather, you see the MC is joined by a bunch of cloaked cultists who begin humming and casting a spell on this engraved platform in the middle of the pit. And you begin to feel a rumble as the circular platform begins to open.

And you hear from up in the box through this like magical projection. You hear the Emperor speak and go, you have the privilege of being judged by the great scale worm! And all at once everyone in the crowd goes, we fear and honor the worm, the worm will test the strong and devour the weak. The Emperor steps back into his box as the platform finishes opening and a giant worm that looks to be made of this blue lava that you saw before and black rock like as the scales bursts from the ground. It's so huge. The base of its body remains below the ground, but the visible part is big enough to be able to reach kind of any corner of the arena.

No one is safe. Immediately it opens its terrifying maw and shrieks, revealing rose and rose of sharp teeth. You see strange blue tentacles burst from like behind its black rock shell and begin reaching for the combatants as the crowd roars. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Okay, walk without rhythm Just so everyone knows last time I got judged. They didn't go well

Yeah, but you met Patilda. Yeah, you ended up here. It's true. What a beautiful take Dirty 20. Oh, I also got a dirty 20 inish. I got that 11 great So here's how this fight is going to work. I've already, I've begun to lose my voice from doing all of these Munchermann-Rady Savage voices. Great. I'm gonna keep going. So I'm not power through. Yes. This is how the fight is going to work. We are going to divide the battlefield into quadrants. The other combatants that these like hundred or so, there's about like 100 people down here with you. They will count as four swarms of undead humanoids who will attack on the same initiative. The worm is so big that it will attack

an entire quadrant at once. So if you're in that space, you'll be attacked along with the horde that's there. If they take a certain threshold of damage, they'll make less attacks, and if they're brought down to zero, they'll be dead and they'll no longer help. We'll keep it simple. The quadrants are north, south, east, and west. Sticking together is helpful because it means you can heal each other, but it also means that you could potentially get crit on and total party kill.

So, might not want to home be in the same quadrant. Huh. All right, so, Zirk, you are first. You see that kind of an initial wave of zombie people rushes in to try to get at this worm and you see there's just like this burst of lava that explodes as the tentacles come out and wipes out just like a line of people. So you are the first one to act. Oh, okay. Well, that lava looks very interesting, but I'll collect a sample later. Don't lick it.

Can we say that while we were descending into the colosseum, I had time to drink a potion? Yes, certainly. Awesome. Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and drink one of my alter self potions, because whenever I drink a potion now, whenever anyone drinks one of my potions,

you get 2d6 10 pit points. Nice. So I'm going to go and roll that. That's rad. Very good. Two hit points, but plus 5 plus my modifier. Jesus Christ. Seven. So yes, much like the other people in the arena, you chug an energy drink as you rush down to the pit. Absolutely. Oh yeah, dude, is that a nozzz? It is glowing a very uncomfortably yellow green color. Monster chaos sick. How'd you know my brand? And where are you guys? We didn't clarify. Where are you guys setting up? Are you all going to be in the same quadrant? We'll say North, South, East and West. Do you guys want to be separated or together? I think let's be

separate at the earth. Yeah, you did the up. Okay, so you you guys want to be separated or together? I think let's be separate at the earth. Yeah, the other. Okay. So you guys are going to be split up. So we'll say Hank is to the East, Zirk is to the West and Fias to the South. If you guys want to travel between the quadrants, you can use your 30 feet of movement to get to like an adjacent one. So like if you're to the West, you can go north, you can go south. But if you want to get to like the opposite side,

you'll need to take an opportunity attack from the worm because it's right in the center. So to go from south to north, to get the order, or do a dash action to run around the outside. Sure. So I'll say you guys set yourselves up so you're close enough to get to each other on your turns, but far enough away that if this worm slams down, it only gets one of you. So, Zirk, you chug this potion as you come down here, but what do you do on your turn? You are first. Okay. So, I'm going to just get everyone all set up. I think I'm going to, as my bonus action, I'm going to give Spritele my other potion, which I have prepared for the day, and I'm gonna have them deliver that to Fia. Okay, this is going to be a D4 to attack

and saving throws potion. Raff, Merf what flavor monster energy is this potion? Oh boy, D4 to attack, we're gonna say, we already used Monster Chaos, let's say monster assault, that makes the most sense. That's a Tama one with the red am Okay, since Fiat took just took the tough feet this feels like so appropriate Yeah, is coming for you world. Oh fuck where'd she go? You hear a distant distant voice as if from another realm go

as if from another realm go all all all all all all all all all

all all all all all all all all all all all

all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all to essentially feed the potion to Fiya if you'd like them to do that. Yes, great. So I can tell them what to do is my bonus action and then as their action economy, yeah, they can deliver it. Rad. So a little drone flies in and gives me a monster assault energy drink and I choke it and I'm suddenly so powerful.

I whisper to myself, Mr. Sark, I will not let you down. You see that because of the alter self potion, Zerke's face is this like super gnarly horn skull now with a giant red tongue, hell yeah, dope. And Zerke just goes, bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-bly-b uh... for my action i'm going to use uh... my third level spell which i have because we leveled up uh... i'm going to cast haste on hang whoo

so uh... hang i need you to know right now uh... i think that fiannair monster energy people but hang i think you're more of a don't can don't ask i what's your flavor my man oh absolutely there's a lot of sugar in this. This is a sweet cream caramel latte. That makes sense because then when the concentration breaks, you'll have a sugar crash. Definitely. Yeah, you see as this magical potion appears in front of you

and you get this haste from Dunkin' Donuts, you see that the crowd around you looks like they're about to turn on you. Well, that coffee, what are you two good for? African rock star, dude? It's just a Dunk of Chino, it's early. The Emperor looks displeased. Don't let them get you Hank, you know who you are, drink what you like.

I chug it, throw away the can, and I'm like, I might be half as fast as Fia now. Okay. Fia does like the shocker and throws out a tongue that's now like forked in like a rad way. Okay. Insane energy. Insane energy.

All right, so that's gonna be plus two to your AC, advantage on Dex throws, and an extra attack action on your turns. What? Inxthro's, and an extra attack action on your turns. What? Insegued. Yeah, dude. Haste fucking rocks. Eight to nine is a huge level up.

Yeah. For Zerks movement, he's just gonna get as far away as possible to maintain concentration. Rad. Okay. So you back up, you just like, you go right back to the stands. You go right back to the stands.

And yeah, just like, start stepping backwards as all these maniacs charge in. You're the only one being strategic at all. I'm doing gun tricks. I'm at the rodeo clown. So you start to back up. Fia, that is your turn. OK.

Fia is going to take out her sword and just attack this fucking worm. Rad. No. So Fia, you rush forward. you see a bunch of these people get sprayed with this blue lava Um and get fucked up as this thing pops up But you get ahead of the charge you're faster than a bunch of these people you get in you swing your sword That is a four

Four four. Four. Four. Fourably, Mrs. But I am going to use my three of four all. And I'm going to use my bonus action to make two additional attacks as two clones pop up. And then I have mirror image until the start of my next turn. Incredible. There's more fias.

I knew there were more fias. Yes. So this is the crescent chrono blades. Once a day skill. If you remember a couple episodes ago, the third mate unlocked some of their blade powers. So what a fias thing is that she can summon three, and make an extra attack and then have mirror image or an extra

two attacks and have mirror image until her next turn. So you see two more, so you see one fia runs up, bangs into like the rocky scale of this giant worm has no effect And then you see two more fias pop out from her and try to stab beyond the scales As I do that before I even do this though like when I clang does it feel like oh this is a stupid thing to do Attacking it is no you just missed you essentially hit like its natural armor. No, you just missed. You essentially hit like it's natural armor. Yeah, right. No, you absolutely have to, yeah, you can hurt it. Don't forget to add D4s to those attacks.

Well, I just rolled a, a NAT one. Okay, that sucks. I'm so sorry. I, you, once again hit rocks. Sucks ass. Three at combo. Oh no. Okay.

Okay. But then, 26 to hit. 26, yeah go it hits that's what I call an assault he looks really ashamed and then I also get bookfars revenge which is an extra D6 to a horror or a film. Right. Yes. The Crescent Chrono Blade gets a D6 to against horrors. This is so pathetic. I rolled two ones on my sixes. 13 damage. 13 damage. All right. Is it on that store? Yeah. Yeah. The thing dies. It travels up and turns into a regular one. Oh, you feel like absolute shit, but then she's like, feel up, avenge me. And if Phillips gonna fly in.

Yeah, Phillips flies in, veins bulging off of the cover, opens up the pop-up book, turns it to a ripped dragon and breathes fire on the worm. The worm makes what a dexave? Dexave, yes. Worm, believe it or not, Giant worm does not have great dex. It's stuck in a freaking hole. 14. That fails. 16.

Dude, damage. Since the lava's blue, it's super cold, right? This do not lick it. 17. 17. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that lava is Baja Blast Flavored. Yeah. So it does have like almost like a dragon breathes fire, but isn't made of fire.

This thing is like leaking some like of this lava shit out of its mouth and is like glowing blue at parts, but Fiya, you get in under its scales and you feel like this has flesh. This is a thing. Okay, okay, good. So you did, you heard it, yeah. Okay.

Oh, and Fiya, just so you know, I rolled your temp hit dice and you have 15 14 extra hit points. Oh, oh, that's amazing. Yeah, thank you Don't thank me. Thank the monster energy assault After fia that is the undead mobs. The mobs around Fiya are gonna attack. You see a bunch of people with like rusty axes and pitchforks attack.

Ooh, baby, that's a natural 19. They're gonna hit. They do 12 damage on the first attack. Total. Hey, mobs, some of the people just straight up die as they like, this is absolutely a numbers game. It's like a bunch of people jump on the worm Some people get shaken off and just fall into the pit and are just gone So this is like 30 people all going into the same time to make a second attack

Nat3 misses East is gonna go Misses on the first attack. Misses on the second attack North goes buddhin amayan you're in east so your team fuck Come on guys. They were distracted by the Dunkichino You jealous come on south west is best. Yeah, you're rooting for your team now. It's medieval times North missed on the first attack and hits on the second attack And they do 11 damage all right come on east you're getting embarrassed by North mist on the first attack and hits on the second attack and they do 11 damage all right come on east you're getting embarrassed by north come on I don't need anything I can't get a gas station man. I don't know what this duck and chino shit. I

Like fancy coffee. I'm sorry and then we don't apologize West is Zerks team West is seven misses. Okay hits on the second attack Yeah, that is a 16, 16 damage. That's the Wild West, baby. Wild West. Oh, yeah. Um, more cry for the zombie mom, new middle remix of the Wild Wild West rap. So unfortunately for Fiya, the South has done the most damage and they are about to be attacked The worm is so big that it's actually gonna act on two initiatives, but it takes it's white on initiative 15 So you see it opens its giant maw you see all these teeth big skin flaps Like four separate things. It's almost like a disgusting flower as it opens its mouth

And it just slams into the area that like fia is on So the first attack is a bite? Okay, so I do have meter image. Okay, well here's the deal fia. That is a natural one Okay, at least we're both doing it mr. Worm that just just reminded me that they might be giant dog doctor worms. I'm sure. Check that song out, everybody. That's how fucking rules. The horde of zombies only has an AC of 12, so they basically get hit no matter what every turn

if it attacks them. So you see the mob around you, Fia, you're able to roll out of the way. The three of us all survive. You guys do a tandem roll. It's super cool. In fact, some of the zombies around you are distracted as they are bitten for 29 damage,

which comes close to having their HP. It just slams down into the ground. The whole pit like shakes, and you see almost half of the people in this quadrant are just gone, just swallowed and gone. Oh, oh. Hank, that is your turn.

The beast from the east. The beast from the east. Okay. I'll show you guys what Duncan can do. So I have three attacks now, because I haste. Yes. Yeah.

Alright. Cool. Let's roll them. Shout out to the two crew. Yeah, it's okay. The guys aren't bangs off of a rocky scale. Alright, the captain hasn't hit me yet. That's a 19 on the second attack.

Hits. Alright. And a 13 on the third. Misses. I could have put more coffee in there. Okay, Mr. Handlery, we're both a little, we're both just getting warmed up. All right, so that's 15 damage.

I am going to action surge, so I'll take three more attacks. Rad. I don't know if you get three more attacks. I think I might just be like one. Oh, he's doing action surge. Oh, with action surge. I think you're just gonna get two attacks.

Yeah, okay. Well then I'll unleash The incarnation and have shank attack so I'm gonna. All right that way. Yeah, I'm gonna show these guys that Duncan don't that's a superior Hey, Crunk's on Duncan. Yeah, wow, we need to meet him in the middle. I'm drinking a Mountain Dew coolata He's either crowd is like slightly one over. Even I think that's disgusting. I didn't realize they had those. Did I?

Did I? They have Mountain Dew. So that's, this is good. This is a 21, a 24, and a 27. Jesus Christ, everything hits. Yeah, you and Chang get in there, start stabbing under the scales. This like blue fiery blood bursting out as you hit the flesh and that's 39 damage

Jesus Christ There is no joke. We ha after hang everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Okay You got it. I've lost my voice by doing rad voices That is the the risky run as a DM. Yeah, it's an eight. 22. Uh, and that's 20 for Zerke. Jesus Christ.

Okay. I borrow some binoculars from someone in the stands. You guys see that amongst the kind of scrubs, the just like random zombie dudes who just have like pitchforks and random weapons, you see there are a few warriors that look to be more capable. And you see one of them, I'll say Fiya and Zirk, you guys kind of clock this because Zirk, you're standing back and I'll say this dude is on the like west side with you Zirk,

but like in the front, so you have a clear view on him. And Fiya, you see him because this dude gets all up in the worm's space. I'll say Hank, it's a little obscured for you. But you see that one of these capable warriors looks like a white, a little bit like tab, more dexterous than just a zombie. But like, you know, rotting skin, but still very human looking.

He wears a red cloak with a collar that covers the like bottom quarter of his face, like a mask. He's got like long white hair that almost looks like an undercut, but instead of it being shaved, it's just skull. His eyes are completely red, no pupils, and one of his arms is just bone, just skeletal. He has like a giant great sword, he swings it around, you see he bites his hand with like sharp razor teeth and smears blood along the blade, then lights it on fire and swings at the worm. Fiya, you see he turns to you and goes, well, no, it's time for me to wet my blade. Um, and you see that he swings into the worm. Can't miss all this. He seems like so dumb for Fiya because she just ate shit in front of whoever the fuck this

is. Um, unfortunately, he does hit on the first attack. Ah, but he misses on the second attack. Um, but he does 17 damage. Um attack, but he misses on the second attack. But he does 17 damage. You see, he is able to get under this thing's scales and do like a pretty decent attack. The flavor of Duncan is he drinking. After the blood hunter's turn,

that is another turn for the scale worm. You see these tentacles that had burst out of the side are gonna take two attacks. The one is gonna swing down on the west side and then on the opposite side, on the east side, on the side that Hank is on. So, Zurich, I'll say you're standing back far enough that I will allow you go ahead and do a dexterity saving throw

because you have more time to get out of the way than the other people. Great, okay. If you fail the dexterity saving throw, all that means is that you could be a target of this attack. Gotcha, okay. I'm gonna roll now, but hang it all up in the mix, so hang it's just gonna be a target. That's another not 20. Nice, dude. So you see this giant blue tentacle begin to come down and you are

already rolling out of the way, so you're not even a target of it. Zerke looks at the monster, and he's like, is this the all-cural look sir? Have I done it? I feel incredible! You see a bunch of people are hit and instantly crushed by this giant tentacle on the west side here. Does 30 damage, takes them down quite a bit. And then on Hank's side, another tentacle comes down. That one misses on Hank's side.

So Hank, you guys do not have to worry. You guys do not get hit. That is back up to the top of the initiative. That is Zerks turn. Yeah. Since everyone, I'm looking, I'm scanning the arena, both Fia and hinderier looking okay currently they haven't been hit yet right that's right alright so i think i'll i'll take this opportunity to do a quick draw yeehaw i'll roll into range uh rat fire off some shots uh at the warm nice uh let me go and roll my first one. Rad. Oh, baby.

That is going to be a 29 to hit. Sweet, sir. That one hits. Yeah, you just start going nuts. One finger on the trigger. Just rapidly, just shooting as fast as you can. Awesome. So that's one hit. And then I get to add a plus D6 to my first hit on an enemy with a range attack. So let's not forget that. And then I'm going to roll again.

Sweet. See, I'm going to roll I'll use my my big glowing dice here Wish I hadn't done that 16 to hit 16 does not hit okay Once again Zerks pistol instantly overheats Feel looks at feel looks at mr. Zerken says hey, you know what sometimes you have a cool ability, but you eat shit. Yeah Unfortunately for my players to use their cool things sometimes they have to roll decent You didn't tell me I was gonna have to roll a dice man

Ultimately your abilities just let you roll more which is if anything of that thing for this what is my kidney hurts so bad? What's in this monster energy? OK, fuck. All right, so that's going to be, it's still a detain, which is not bad. Rad. Yeah, and you get the bonus of your gun, which is that your opening attack gets a plus D6.

Right. Awesome. OK, so that's going to be 13 plus 6, 19 damage. 19 damage, sick. Zirk fires off this big burst of energy into this worm. Fia, that is your turn. First things first, I'm going to have Philip from above rain down more fire.

Okay, you see Philip veins pulsating. Just breathes fire on this worm. It makes a deck savexave 16 I rolled in that it has it has literally a minus three and I rolled a natural 19 so it'll take a good okay well five these six because it's a fourth-level dragon's breath 23 damage a half got it and then do I get the impression that a fireball if I were to try and cast a fireball that it would endanger other people?

No, because I'll say you can shoot it up. Like this worm is you know, this is straight up Final Fantasy boss. This thing's Regulant around in the sky. Okay, sick then. I feel feels so ashamed after what happened. Yeah That she is going to use her first fifth level spell and do a fifth level fireball bitch. Yes. Sweet. Fiya, you begin charging up this fireball. You see this blood hunter that was next to you who lit his sword on fire, goes, oh, looks like I'm not the only one who's wild with fire Are you trying to be friends or what? What the hell was that guy's deal? I don't know I tried to sauce it out

But I think I know kind of rude about it. Yeah, who you talking to As I like charge up this high the highest level spell I ever cast I'm like so like what's your name and stuff? My name's Isaac. Isaac, I'm Fio Bognini, I'm a witch, and then I... Pfft. Perform a fifth level fireball. Sweet, it'll do a deck save, right?

Yeah. Another 19, 16. Chrono Shift. Whoa, there we go. There it is. Matt 16, that time, so 13 13 so fails. Yes, baby. Okay, so that is 40 damage Huge burst of fire as you see the worm kind of like rocks back and shrieks and then I think this is all I do Right, okay after fia that is the undead mobs,

North attacks, misses on the first attack, hits on the second attack, 12 damage, South, Fiya's people, misses on the first attack, misses on the second attack. Hanks people on the east. Go. Bees, bees, moan. Not one, bunch of people just fall into the pit

as they get to close. Hey, what did you say? I thought I came up with a really catchy fucking rallying cry. So you have to stop saying things, teens say, get as close as possible. Fall into the pit. I tried to floss to inspire everybody. They miss again. And then the West misses on the first attack, misses on the second attack. Bad turn

for the zombies. Yes. After that, that is the Worms bite attack. It is going to worm turns, slam down on Fia and Kroak's. Like through here to the south. Okay. That is a 20 to hit. The south gets the mouse. Can I use shield on my on my group? No, only on yourself. You can use it on yourself. I will use I cast shield on myself. Fia, you you have this arcane shield around you. Essentially you hit the like rim of this thing's mouth as it comes down and it shoots you back instead of being like devoured by it. Fia, you see your side is absolutely decimated. There's like four or five people left. What about Isaac? Isaac is technically in Zerks quadrant so he's to the side and he goes cool trick, but I prefer this.

And you see just like a sick backhand spring into like a Iron Man fist into the ground. Oh, okay, okay, Isaac, you might be sick actually. We had tries to do a backhand spring for the switch. After the worm, Hank, that is your turn. Okay, I'll take the reattacks. Let's go 18, 19, 24. All hit.

Yes. That is that Baja Blast energy. You know what, I have two more unleashed incarnation. Sweet. So I'm gonna, two more cool otas appear in front of Shank. Oh my God, Shank loves the cool otta. That's a 28 from Shank. I'm gonna to more cool waters appear in front of shank. Oh my god shank loves the cool out of that's a 28 from shank I'm gonna double fish them. I made my own using the red one. I poured code red into one Something remember to eat something to know my my shank go get a beetle, but he's shaking. He looks like

Get this guy a bug He's shaking, he looks like he's gonna collapse. Get this guy a bug. Disgusting. But it might be the way. 52. Damn. Good. God.

Yummy. Yeah. You and Shank, just get up in there, get under the same scales and are stabbing into it. A burst of this lava coming out as you stab and get under its flesh. After Hank, that is Isaac, the blood hunter. He looks at Fia and he goes,

Hey, need a light. And you see he flicks his hand and does like a fire can trip. And once again lights his sword on fire and does a forward roll and then swings. I studied the blade. Yeah, I studied the blade as well, but did you not just see me create like a huge fireball?

No, I did but I have all the things I need. I have stuck things that I say. From back here, he looks really cool. Is the stuffy saying cool? Wildfire. I like to give wildfire. What are those gladiator middle thumbs? I don't know. He misses on the first attack. Let's try to get you out of this alive so I can find out if you're cooler now. We want to meet your friend, Fiya. Well we already know that I'm hot, so I don't know if it could be cool. Okay, Fiya pukes a little bit.

I'll take his second attack and hits on the second one after missing on the first one. It does 90 damage, not insignificant. No, not at all. After the blood hunter, that is the tentacles. The tentacles are going to once again go, actually, you know what? They're going to finish off the south. You see Zirk, the worm, had some people grappled in like your quadrant,

but it pulls back, retracts, just kind of slams them down, swings around, it slams on Fia's quadrant. Fia, that's 21 to hit you, but you still have shield. Stop shield. Once again, there we go. You bounce, like you're in one of those fucking bouncy ball things, those hamster ball things. Those hamster ball things.

You just bounce back. But you see that the Southern quadrant is completely crushed. They are gone. Everybody down there with you is gone for you. Do I mourn the loss of my father in Comrade or are there these fucks that I don't give a care about? It is up to you. It's entirely true.

I mourn the loss of my father in Comrade. that I don't give a care about. It is up to you. It's entirely up to you. I'm more in the loss of my father and comrades. Can I scan the crowd to see if the South section is like looking really bummed at their table? Yeah, yeah, sort of like medieval times, you root for your section and that section is dejected. That's where they put all the bachelor parties and stuff. They put the kids in the North section

that seems to be more safe. Second attack is gonna make on the east because Hank just did a bunch of damage. Swings down, atentical, 21 to hit the east side. That is my new AC with paste. Yikes, okay. Hank, you take 28 damage, and so does your team over here on the east side, and Hank, you are grappled. My beast. You are wrapped up inside this tentacle. Okay.

After the tentacles, that is Zerk's turn. Yeah, I think what I'll do is I'm currently in the west, and I'll try and get over to the north, so that I can, with range, try and fire on the tentacle. To freehank. Oh, sweet. You're gonna try to like freehank. Yeah. Whoa. Here's what I'll say.

If you want to just shoot the worm, then you just make a regular attack. If you want a freehank, you can make an attack with disadvantage. Essentially, the idea is that you're trying to like pinpoint this very particular thing. And I'll say if you hit, Hank will be instantly released. Whoa. Awesome. Yeah, let's do that. Rad, like a William Tell situation.

You run to the north side, you try to steady your gun. My hand is shaking so much. From the monster. Yeah, have a Poland Spring before you fire that thing, okay? Poland Spring. Right, wait, this dude drinks water? Uh, circle's up a green water. Wait, does two drinks water? Circle's up a green water. Yeah monster water

Flicks out her newly forked tongue This is the first time anyone's cheering for me. I'm sorry. Hey, I'm not even saying we have to stop drinking I'm just saying water. We have to support it With with other aspects of a diet like water and food Not even saying we have to stop drinking. I'm just saying water. We have to support it. We have to hate water. With other aspects of a diet, like water and food. That was a matter with this guy. What are you talking about? It's green. Yeah, stewed.

All right, roll with this advantage on an attack. Here we go. 16 and then a seven. So. So... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH do a healing word on Hank. Rat. On a second level. Sweet. Oh. That's going to be nine points of healing. You see that your dunga chino just refills a little bit. Sorry, I can't do more. That's the good of down at the bottom, all the sugar has settled.

That's going to be a good sip. Yeah, you guys can do this dunga chino while you want. It fuels me. I do respect liquid fuel, although I suppose that's what most fuel is. One guy is stunned. That's not true Cole. Right true. I guess what I'm saying is it's not unique. Sweet after Zirk that is Fia. Okay. Once again, Philip fly in. Do your thing.

Oh shit. I'm gonna say Philip has been attacked and deanimated because the South has been attacked several times and he does not have good enough AC I'll say he got saying like flying up high Okay, why don't let's settle this right now then I will say that it will attack Philip with disadvantage And I'll say we'll do two attacks on Philip with disadvantage and we'll see if Philip is knocked out Okay, well What I don't give a shit I'm fine. I'll be freaking fine. I guarantee it My my voice is completely gone. I literally crit twice on Philip I tried to I rolled this advantage in our rolled two 20s. You see Philip is just,

Oh no. Absolutely obliterated. Just like slam down into the ground. Let's have a meek. Hope. And it's just a crater in the ash. No, he pulled every muscle. Feels very sad, but she also thinks it is maybe good for Philip to have a slightly humbling

situation. Yeah, I think I am going to just just keep fucking attacking and hope for hope for good heat. Yep, rad don't forget to have those de force. Yes, I'm just going to do two fucking attacks because using my war priest rad. Okay, that's gonna hit 21 for the first attack. Great, great. Bonus action, my second attack. 19, thank you for the fucking three on 93. Slash down and then stab up hitting both times. You see Isaac looks at you and goes double strike, nice.

Thank you, Isaac. So that's gonna be, so I get an extra D6 for horrors. So I get to roll 66s and then add 10. Jesus Christ. 28 damage. Yeah, finish this worm. Oh shit. You guys first off did a ton of damage.

And secondly, you didn't get hit by the bite. The bite is like you can get swallowed. Okay, what I do is I fucking flex my muscles showing off how strong this ganglion girl has become. And I take its pentacle that is grappling Mr. Henry and then I start heating it with Pentacles I stop eating yourself Mr. Henry just Careful because I had I had a lot of coffee I and I had a beetle So I feel very ill this crowd of bullies thinks this stop hitting yourself thing is so fucking funny. Just everyone is cheering.

We all look at the approval and does yet another fortnight day. Disgusting. Murf grows up in real life. Yeah, Fiya, I'll say you slash this one tentacle off. I'm just like burst of blue flame comes from it. It cuts into like shards, and you grab a piece of it and stab into this worm. You see the worm shrieks and begins waving back and forth,

shaking the entire stadium, until it shrinks back into the hole. And you see the like MC comes back in, and all these cultists. And you see that they magically put the platform back in place and the worm goes back into like its burrow. And then can I look at the emperor so far away and just say, what do I mean? Go ahead and give me any kind of charisma check that you'd like, persuasion, intimidation. Could I give the high five, the health action?

Yeah, you can give the health action. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for saving me. I'll flash her a flash of genius thumbs up. Yeah. That's plus five. That's plus five. That's plus five. Every single charisma based check.

So 13 minus one becomes a 12, but a plus five becomes a 17. 17 is sick. Not bad. With all the, all things considered, nothing. You guys here as the worm goes back into its burrow, there's this huge roar from the crowd and Fiya yelled us to the emperor. He looks down at you and kind of smirks as if to be like, oh good, a spicy one. Not intimidated, but kind of impressed.

Okay. Okay. And reaches his hand out and goes, well done. We are more powerful than any foe when we are united. And to you, Brave Warrior, and to all of the Brave Warriors in the pit, I award you my praise. And to you in particular, and a few others,

I honor you with the opportunity to join my dragoons and Everybody go ahead and give me insight check. Okay, okay 19 19 as well on my dies 24 rap, but it becomes a 26 actually all three of you guys Realize as you guys see dragoons in black armor enter the pits They begin like chewing out the more like angry mobish people just get like take it back to their seats And send it back to the stands, but they seem to be like Grabbing some of the more capable warriors Including this bloodhunter Isaac and with your insight checks you guys kind of realize like oh

This is a little bit of a means of recruitment. This is like there's an audition. This is like calling the weak slash Essentially, I think I'm assuming that we've like kind of gaggle together And I think I whisper under my breath. I think I would to mr. Henry and Mr. Zirk and I say I think at least this will give us access to you know some of these bigger buildings. Yeah step closer. I don't want to go back in the stands so this is fine. I mean I could grab one more beer for the road but like yeah right after that let's drag you in it up. So you guys see that they are approaching you? Do you guys do anything because you guys aren't undead?

Zirk, I think, Zirk, did you take an alter self potion? I took an alter self, so look, Zirk looks dead. I had shank like layered over me. God, I look shadow and ghosty. And we kinda just made jokes that I already look undead. Got it. Okay. And we like put like stuff to amplify that. Got it. Okay. So and we like put like stuff to to amplify that.

Got it. I could I could slip via a potion real quick to give her the alter self-ability. Yeah. I will say that the prep that you guys made will give you advantage on deception checks and you can assume that these guys that are approaching you are just going to be using their passive insight. They're not gonna be like rolling that 20s. They're not like, they're not thinking that there are humans here. Okay, Fiya is going to like puff up her chest

and cast guide and ton herself for a kind of this performance. Okay. And Hank, do you have anything that you can do or you're just gonna roll with advantage? I guess I'm just gonna roll with advantage with my disguise. Does pass without trace help here? It would not, right?

Interesting. The flavor is shadowy. The flavor is shadowy. That is a good point. I'll tell you what. If you want to expend a charge to essentially make you and your party look a little like rath-ish with the shadows because you're like cloaked in shadow. I'll give you guys proficiency, like you can add your proficiency bonus to the roll.

If you want to use a charge. Okay, yes, I will use a charge. I will sweet. Basically this mishank and have him cloak all of us in shadow wraith. So you guys are covered in kind of shadows that make you look a little bit more undead, make you look a little bit more like rates. And I will use instead of guidance, I will use thomaturgy because you can alter

the appearance of your eyes. Okay. So I want to make it look like my eyes, like roll back in my head to sort of like look dead. Awesome. Very cool. I mean spooky but cool. Rad. Okay. Cool. So how are we rolling this? Is this so the advantage? Everybody go ahead and roll because you made preparations, roll with advantage.

And then any of the other stuff you guys did, um, we'll add to it. So Hank's thing does proficiency. That got for advantage. did, we'll add to it. So, Hank's thing does proficiency. Okay. Cool. Thank God for advantage. 15 for FIA. Cool. 19 for Henry. Dirty 20 for Zerk. Sweet. You guys are just run-of-the-mill

initiates to these people. You see a bunch of these dragoons in black armor kind of come up and grab each one of you guys by the arm. And just a reminder, like Fiya was kind of lucky that she rolled well when addressing the emperor, because you guys saw people literally be murdered in the line outside the Colosseum for being rowdy.

So if you kind of decide to be real mouthy with the people, you might just have to fight everyone. I think, I mean, I think fear sees the situation and is like, okay, this is us getting access to uniforms and to places, betterx that we, that could help us. So I think fear just kind of like, limply submissively gives into this action. Right. Oh, as we're before these drug goons approach, can we say that I picked up just like a shard of like the kind of like cooled lava

or something like that? Zerks just kind of interested in like what properties that might have. This sort of a city and glass that probably is formed by the lava interacting with the sand. I'll say you have like enchanted vials that can like carry insanely hot liquids, that's not crazy. So you scoop up some of this stuff to study it. The forbidden monster energy. You grab the forbidden monster energy. You see drag, dragoon comes up and grabs you by the arm

and goes, the fuck you do it, just grab a goo. You wanna hit? Of the goo? No. All right, more for me. Grab this, you buy this, you're scruff of your neck and drags you up. So the prospects are all rounded up

and put in a line in front of the dragoons. There is one who is barking orders and kind of telling the other dragoons where to like drag you guys. He's this burly dude atop a a you see he made kind of a grand entrance But you were maybe a little distracted by like the these like dudes coming in and grabbing people he is riding a Wyvern Wyvern, Wyvern. I'm gonna say Wyvern don't at me vicious looking like kind of dragon-like creature, he has gotten down from his mount.

It is going around barking orders. You see he has blue accents on his armor and emits a blue glow through the grate of his helm, but you can't see his face. And you see the line of new recruits, including you guys. And Isaac. And you see Isaac line of new recruits, including you guys. And Isaac. I mean, you see Isaac is there as well. You see Isaac and only two or three other people. You see some really gladiator types.

The types that were serious enough to have trained with real weapons. You see there's a dude with a big two handed ax. Somebody with a big flail. These are people who were like actual warriors, and they, because they live here, kind of knew the deal. They're like excited to be inducted. So they look like stern, but like kind of proud.

They got called up. They got called up. Can we also say that I have scooped up the DNA-nimated Philip and... Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course. Yes, so Philip is on your belt. We also say that I have scooped up the Dianimated Phillip and us to wrap him back to my profile. Yes, so Phillip is on your belt. We spurt a very good job, Phillip.

After the new recruits are lined up near the dragones, you hear the emperor speak up. You have proven your strength against a monster, but there are worse things than monsters. Dissent! Dissent is the real enemy! Bring out the traitor! You see, a few dragons bring out this big zombie dude. Looks kind of like an ogre. Big and powerful with like rotting skin, bound at the wrists, and roughly dragged out by these knights and dragged into the middle of the stadium. He looks tired, but he looks kind of defiant. Like you see like people pelting him with things like growing things from the Coliseum steps but he is you know looks defiant. Guys go ahead and

give me insight checks. Ooh 17 on the die 21. 15. 22. I'll say via you are a little distracted 22 I'll say via you are a little distracted by Seeing this dude dragged out you want to help him but even in this guy's eyes Like he's ready to accept his fate like he is defined. He is like this is Part of the cause Zirken Hank you notice in the line of people next to you guys, the, like, two or three other new recruits, look pumped to like fuck this dude up, but that dude Isaac, who was acting super cool,

now looks really like Stern. I would like to see if I could like silently assess this zombie that's in front of us. Yeah, the dude They look like sentient, right? This is like a way everything's on. I mean everyone sentient No, no one is a you know classical horror. This seems like a Zombie that has a different political ideology than the other zombies. It's cool Yeah, you see this. Yeah, the blood hunter Isaac next to you guys doesn't look pumped.

Looks like pissed. The Dragoon captain, the one who came in on the Wyvern, speaks up and you hear echoing through the Colosseum, through this magical amplification. You hear him in a very annoying, like authoritative voicego. Glorg Agump. You have been charged by the people of Endotera with conspiracy against the Lord's side and the Reaper himself.

Mr. Agump is accused of working with the awakened, to shuttle traders and deserters to the outer rim and providing them with news from here in the capital. And you hear booze, you see he's like pelted with garbage and stuff. Mr. Ogump, what do you say to the charges? The ogre looks up and speaks. I do not fear death. For I will not be judged by the Reaper. He has long since abandoned this world.

There is no need for a God to create horrors when you will likely become monsters yourselves! You see they shove his face in the sand to try to silence him. You hear booze and jeers from the crowd, but I'll say with your guys' previous insight checks, you guys notice that some people look rattled by this. You're getting a feel for the terrible dynamic of this place. You guys came to the Colosseum and as you guys were walking here, there were a few brave people who are just like, I'm not going to participate. I don't care how bad it looks, I'm gonna stay out of this. Then you've got people who are just kind of caught up in it, and when they hear this dude screaming,

they get a little sheepish, and then you've got like true believers who are like freaking out, in like a positive, like they want this dude dead, they love it, they love it, they're fucking loving it. And you see the dragon looks up to the emperor and goes, Emperor, he is ready for judgment. See the emperor flicks his wrist and magically produces a set of spectral scales, scales bounce between the left and the right Scales bounce between the left and the right before finally settling on the left to the roar of the crowd and Fiya you especially would know this that like the left side is the side of the Reaper dooming you but you also know that

this is like a common trick of people to be like, ah, the scale is tilted to the left side. So the gods have judged you, but anyone can do that with a spell. Okay, this is as far as Viet can go. This is far too personal. And she knows that this is foolish, but she cannot let it go any further. And she says, judge this bitch, and then I want a dimension door. This guy out of here.

Oh my God! Okay, I will say you guys passed your deception checks, so this is a surprise round. I want to get out of this fucking colosseum. You see, they start running towards you guys, but Fiya grabs this guy and is able to get to the outside of the Colosseum Zirkin Hank. Here's what I will say. You guys

By not really fighting together by being in all different quadrants. It occurs to you They do not know that you were with Fia. I charge after her like I'm trying to kill her. RAP! Get her! Come on, Ease! AFC rise again! What do you want to do, Zerk? I think, yeah, Zerk puts his hand on his gun

but then sees Hank's plan and pursues as well. Sweet. Come back here, traitor! Do the repper. Via is straight up on the run. This like, Dragoon Captain had like pulled out an executioner sword. After the Emperor was like, had lowered the scales, went to swing down. Via jumps up, tackles his dude, dementia doors.

They're gone. Instant chaos. The crowd is going, like, even the people who were on the fence about this are now going apes shit. Like, everyone's going crazy. Henkinserc, you guys kind of read the room and just join in the frenzy. Everyone is just running around looking for them and you hear the emperor yells out and goes, find them, find that girl! I hit Hank on the back of the head and say,

you literally get away, you idiot! I don't know you, man. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh, shoot on. Oh my God. I love this. I love this. You elegantly made it so that we didn't have to save him. You said he was ready for death, but I just was like, there's, I can't talk myself. I agree. I agree.

I can't. Here's the deal. I was actually, we'll talk about this more in the short rest, but I was less scared'll talk about this more in the short rest, but I was Less scared after I thought about it because at first I was like oh my god Hank and Zerker doomed, but then I was like wait, they don't know that this is a fucking crew Yeah, no, we just get to become dragon now and fia can live her life. Yeah Yeah, you guys are now separated in a very bad way

But arguably a fun way We'll talk about this more of our short rest patreon dot com slash nat pod. That's n add p o d don't sing Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? I think when this episode comes out me and Amir will have released the first Jake and Amir video. For five years, right? Turn and go to our YouTube and check it out. It's youtube.com slash Jake and Amir. Then this is an hour long up. Yeah, it's an it's to make up for lost time. We have.

We packed five years of episodes and a huge epic movie. Yeah, very excited. Uh, cool. I'll set aside a night. Please do. Set aside too. Yeah, get a babysitter, dude. I'm gonna still be at the house.

But I need you to watch my kid, because I'm watching this very long day. Because you're gonna be, yes. You don't want to miss this that long. It's in its dense. Yeah. That long, that dance, that political. Yeah.

It takes a swing. It'll make you talk. You'll need to have a conversation after, for sure. What have you said right, Uli? I would love to plug our PO box. Got some more stuff to shout out from there. KD with a K and KD with a C. Two great Kates. Send us a plush obsidian, the moonicorn, complete with Uli's.

Wow. KD with a C created the plush and KD with a K helped glue the Healy's, the moonicorn, complete with healies. Wow. Katie with the sea, created the plush, and Katie with the Kay helped glue the healies, both, however, so along cards, with incredibly cute drawings, other cats, thank you so much. It actually rolls. This is a fully functioning unicorn that you can roll around your house. I'm sure that your cats love it, Emily. Yeah. Jake, can we hear obsidian, if you don't mind?

Yeah. Wow. Wow. There they go. Yeah, Jake, can we hear obsidian if you don't mind? Yeah There they go Netta Netta M from Bulgaria sent us the Cyrillic grammar textbook that all first creators used to learn to read and write Whoa book far Book far it's what book far is named after that's so cute. That's a miss good Lord So what bookvaro is named after? That's so cute. That's a nice good Lord. They also sent us some masks patterned

with a traditional Bulgarian folk embroidery, which is a truly blessed haul. Thank you for this book. It's got some really beautifully cursed illustrations inside of it. They're awesome. It's really fun to page through. Let's see, oh, somebody sent us

the complete Ralph S. Mouse collection by Beverly Clear. Yeah. Her state, thanks you. Perfect. Yeah, so state, thanks you. Perfect. Yeah, so my co-host can finally fucking educate themselves. So every single mouse.

Or you could read it to your daughter. One of the other. I've already mailed them to you. You're right. Like I would say. I can sit down and read it before I go to bed. Or your baby can... No, no, I think you...

It's for me. It's for me. Danny, aka Danny Doodles 8 on Twitter, sent us some beautiful watercolour illustrations you did, including a bookmark of bookvar in his boy form. Thank you, Danny. It's so sweet. We always love your watercolours. Yes, thank you, Danny.

Thank you. Roman B sent us an actual deck of many things. I actually picked from it and I'm trapped in a gym. I mean, it's good. It's good. It's a soundproof gym though. Your audio sounds great. Thank you. Yeah. It's good. I am burning. Right. It's very good. And then last but not least, Stig aka Stig regs official sent us some cyberpunk band of boobs fan fiction. Whoa. That they wrote. Um, it's incredible.

Oh, also, uh, Stig is looking for nad pod tattoo ideas. If you have any suggestions, um, literally any dumb thing you say right now, right? Stig might get tattooed on their body. I've been thinking about getting like a little airship. I think that'd be kind of cool. I have a lot of movies. I've been thinking about, I think we should get matching tattoos. Critical role matching tattoo.

100% get an airship. I don't have to think it a possum rolling matching tattoos. 100% get an airship. I don't have to think it a possum. Definitely wouldn't get a possum, but I think it's absolutely. It needs to be a little rad. I think I probably get like a full-size Beverly on my torso. So it looked like my head was Beverly's head, but then there's like a little half-

Beverly and forever, a little tattooed on your body, like a mural. So maybe I think Stigs, that's probably the one to go with. If you would like to send us stuff, you can do it at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Files, California, 9-0-0-27. Sweet guys, and you can follow us all

on various social media that we may or may not use. At SageMarch, which is me, I call this call the well, at Jake Kerwitz's Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag, that's NADD-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are,'s NADDPUD. We are the nation, we are the nation, we are the nation, my voice is gone. Oh man, maybe I had that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, it is time to thank our benevolent Council of Elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Haldoor, Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. Merchants in the Coliseum parking lot

who are already selling knockoff merch of the third mates, their most popular item is a Henry Hogfish action figure, which I'm pretty sure is just a Jacked Kendall with a beard sharpie-don. I added Jack, that was my own little twist. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Gybegy, Dylan B, Shubbert the Mushroom, Caretakers of the Scale Worm, when it's shrunken down, it's actually pretty cute. I mean, it's sure it can still melt flesh with its breath, but you can see the way it nibbles on lettuce and its adorable. Dan Yell, the dastardly Dame, Andrew M Beardman Dan, Scott D, and Danny P, monster hunters

who hunt down and kill the beast used to make the monster energy lord, Scythe might control the people's minds, but these brave heroes control their hearts. Mixologist Michael McD, Vincent W, Victor T. Balnor's boy, Andrew B. and Kevin S. Paladins of the Dunkuccino. They roll actual cubes of sugar to determine how much damage they do per smite, and then put said sugar right in their coffees. Just an eye, Ragnar, Fared Wind, TJM, the Nome Barbarian, Elena M. and Traylay, the Cray, Faye.

Endotera and Hot Dog vendors, and Endotera, a Hot Dog is actually just a centipede on a bun. However if you slather it in ketchup and mustard you can really not tell the difference at all. Jared E. Austin Bonesaw, MR, D-M-L-R-R, excuse me, cyborg version of Josh the Cobald and Gage M. Engineers who helped Zirk perfect the Spritell Mark II design. Unfortunately, Murph must have paid them off because the 2D12 arm cannons were mysteriously missing in the finished product. Damn. Richard X Machina, Michael L. Trass, the traveler, and Sir Carl Rool, cheerleaders at the Endotera Colosseum. At first they were not very popular, but then they started using a slingshot to help the

audience with two leader bottles of Mountain Dew and now they are crowd favorites. Jory S. Dana G. Calum L. and Jack L. The 4 person team that pilots Wormy, the Endotera Colosseum mascot. Weirdly Wormy also has Raz also has razor sharp teeth and will attempt to swallow you so keep your head on a swivel.

Flulless whale, Sam L. Nicholas C. And Samuel B. Beetle vendors that all compete to have the tastiest, fattiest beetles. It is a dirty game and there are rumors that Nicholas C. is giving his beetles steroids, but they sure make a tasty stadium snack. Mike H. Utsumuluk, the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E. Colton B. and Adam, G. a group of horrors that were rooting for Fia until they watched her fumble, her new sword ability, at which point they went all in on rooting for Henry. No way, I didn't write that one. Megan S. Niebadger, Panama James, Cummins the Bard, and Adrian the Halfling Bard, a flock of wild books that is trying to get Philip to migrate

south with them for the winter. Good luck friends. He is a hard sell. Captain Sigil, Grace G. Drew Nasty, C.C. Lulu, and Barnes and Nader, the janitors at the Endotera Colosseum who are going to need to replace their mop heads after all the monster energy drinks, the first mates spilled. Well somebody's going to slurp that up, don't even worry. Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Crockwearing Warrior, Lucas B. and Aaron S. Dragon Wyvern Stable heads whose main job it is to extinguish all the stable fires, the Wyverns start. It's Kevin, hard one's horse, Schmidt, New York, Steven C and KJ, the Emperor's manicurist, who have to keep his cuticle soft and healthy skeletal claws coming strong and long. No one would respect an emperor

with short skeletal claws. Mike K, Karen J, Ekithor, 666, and Nick, W. A group of undead who stayed home from the big event, not for political reasons, but because they are introverted and big crowds are really draining for them. They enjoyed a night of Camamil T, Candle Lit books, and are likely going to be arrested for treason. Uh oh. Taylor A, Matthew R, Esme M, Kazmir, the all-knowing and big bad Buredo the Mad, Isaac's blood hunter friends, their super-goth and edgy,

but also very generous when there's a blood drive. Nice. Eric Mick D, giant monsters on the horizon, Thraft, Burley T, J Dragonborn, and Joe Rho, the Inna Propos, and Oterran Alchemists who created the blueprint for the all-cure elixir, mixing a monster chaos with a monster assault. Of course, it was right in front of us all along. Liam D, the Sandran, Ben A, Fel Donnis and Dave H, Roudy Teens who captured Fias escape on their phones and are all currently going viral on N-Do YouTube. Koala Bear, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, and Dustin S, Gladiators who helped defeat the worm,

then slip back into the stands to get a soft pretzel before the Jiruguns could get them. Wow, those are the heroes we need. Keith K, Connor F, the Time Walker, two left eyes, and Big Bad John. The Ogre's speech writers, these extremely niche scribes, provide punchups for revolutionary speeches given right before the brave speakers deaths. Well, tell you what, you guys did a hell of a job. DPC is awesome. Aston S. Blair, the bug Blair, barb Blairian,

pork chop and chanille M. Endotaren doctors who are trying to cure stomach ailments caused by constantly chugging energy drinks. Their current advice is to responsibly sip your energy drinks. Just do it slowly. Valacy Raptor, Minute F, Pat L, Achyutha A, Lauren H, and Elias Hawthorn, creators of Revolution Razz, the only energy drink powerful enough to inspire a revolution against the Lord's sith with a delicious raspberry taste. Alex H., the eldest berry, Evan V, Ryan S., and the bone duster, new metal constructs, they look like warforged but speaking wild, scream grunts like in down with the sickness,

get up, get up, get up. Robert, Chris, Yedrazel, Brently C, Micahbee, and Jimbob X plays. Worm stands who are really super upset that the worm lost, it'll get them next time guys don't worry. Ploups, Carly in, Laurie P, spam the not spanned spam gaming, the not so skilled gamer, there it is. Connor Savage, Worm haters who are gonna troll the message boards with stories about how much the worm sucked sucked screw the worm

Christopher J Pebblepot Logan S. Leviathan D.A.A. Bioquart 7 and Remington CD Reaperheads who tailgated a little too hard outside the stadium and actually missed the show Which now they've heard was one of the most insane ones yet amber dextrous thrill of the fright Sullivan H. Everett P. Trrab, Hop, Dropper, and Sidney T. Dragoons who work at the concession stands, selling beetles. Their stand does not do well because they end up eating all the beetles themselves. They're just, you know, they're

just so damn delicious. Alex C. The element god, Lindsay W. Champ Wild, Vailin, and Sprite Pepsi. Warriors from the West! The West is the best they yelled as they were unceremoniously swallowed by the giant worm. Carlin C. Anthony S. Tristan C. The Lucid of Tusccus. Jake C.C.A. and Matthew J. Warriors from the South. The South escapes the mouth. They yelled as they were horrifically crushed by a tentacle. Scriptscripper Michael S. the Bone Duster, Noah Wyatt B. Estelle and Ghost, warriors from

the north, north go forth, they yelled as they were stampeded under the feet of other warriors. Dang, rogue Cree, Baron S. Swastions, romance partner from the Baronese, Mr. Dude Sky, conflicted DM Justin L.B. and Dandy, warriors in the East, the beasts that Hank proclaimed as they missed on all of their attacks, but just like the bills. They will be back. Jennifer R. Clifton A. Richard G. M. Barber, Marcos P.

and Pupp Talish, gas station attendants who are actually the richest people in Endotera because they sell monster energy drinks, aka liquid gold. Learns the balanced druid Dakota JP, Pogos, the self-proclaimed Faye Prince, Tracy P, the Crick, L. F. Librarian, and a very big bad 91. Isaacs Bandmates, yes, Isaac absolutely has a band. They are a pop punk emo sex tet with two drummers and Dakota JP actually plays electric fiddle. They're awesome. Holly, Anthony A. Leah C. Timothy H. and Tammy W. All got rich after placing an insane long shot prop bet on someone dimensioned during the

prisoner before their execution. Wow. Wow. Huge, amazing call. And thank you. Thank you, everybody. Wow, huge, amazing call. And thank you, thank you everybody.