Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 34: Wyvern Knight

Episode Date: September 17, 2021

Billie, Zirk, and Henry confront the first Vault Keeper to begin the heist! Zirk licks a magical cloak, Billie has a lover's quarrel, and Hank bonds with a giant beetle cow. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Music / Sound Effects Include: "Forest Fire Inferno" by Dynamicell at Freesound.org. "Anvil" by MrAuralization at Freesound.org. "A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford. "Zelbuldar 3" by Emily Axford. "Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford. "Goblin Dirigible" by Emily Axford. "A Risky Gamble" by Emily Axford. "The Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome back to Elder Morn Everybody! Elder Morn! Tom, your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Feeling kind of shoddy, because he took the oath of the body, but what's he gonna do? Pull off a coup. Henry Hawkfish. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

The owls are hooting for you, sir. And then, of course, in studio, Emily acts for it. Wow. Evading peakers with a skeleton greecer, fjaboginja. Yes. Ooh, hey. Even better without resonance of the room. And then of course, also in studio, called Ultainer.

Oh, sprite by my side, pistol in hand, it's a zirky v thing. You wouldn't understand. Oh, Zerke V. Very good. What do we think? Do we like it, Zerke? So we're gonna do this in studio thing. Billy has, doesn't know me yet.

I can try, I can make it work. Who is this? Zerke V, my friend. Billy just told the dragon. I'm not a traitor. I'm hand-pops. I've tonned. Yes, three of us are in studio. Guess which three are audio-pops. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade.

I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to trade. I'm here to Restrictions are lifting a bit and we've got our vaccines and everything. What's weird is there were in New Jersey recording? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's what's weird is that was really close. So pretty close. We're so close to the past. Yeah, and yet we didn't spring this on you until now. Yeah, I can still get there if you guys want to just wait 35 Just a hassle, man. Yeah, we're friends Jake. I'll take a car. Yeah, that's okay Sweet guys, but yeah,, you'll probably be hearing us in person a little bit more frequently going forward, but let's experiment with this. I remember being harder to edit before,

but being more fun to play. So hopefully it's not that hard to edit. I remember if you were bound by scales, no matter what you do. You know, there's always a price. Let's go ahead and do a little recap, please. Yes. No matter what you do, there's always a price. Let's go ahead and do a little recap, please. Yes.

So last time, Fiya spent some time alone in a pantry and had a dream meeting with her old friend, Arena. During it, she learned in a flashback that Arena had killed her father in a magical outburst brought about by seeing another reaper execution in progress. Fia's feelings on it were complicated, but she took some solace in the fact that arena spared the accused.

They made plans to meet in the vault before Fia was awoken by Gorg and his two buddies, Chrissy and Run Down Johnny. Hey! Hey! Ah, Gorg ran you through the scope of the mission ahead in order to reach the vault safely. The two teams would need to kill two vault keepers who would otherwise be alerted if anyone preached the vault doors. To do that though, Fiya and her new rogue buddies

would have to make it over the wall. Together, you were able to spot a less guarded area and began your climb. The three of you made it up, helping each other along the way, mimicking voices, throwing psychic blades and freezing, repelling, crossbow men before they could pounce. When you finally reached the top, you made quick work of the distracted guards and repelled down the other side, entering the castle district, and getting ever closer to the vault. With the whole crew beyond the wall, Chrissy pulled out the sending stone and contacted the other team, and that's where we are now. Chrissy has real thick thumbs and fingers, so anything he types is gonna be

horribly misspelled. That's a good thing. You talk into the sending stone and it's not a phone. It's definitely mimic typing though. You have to call for Siri, but you do manage to get your message out there. Okay, so we are going to cut over to the other side of that phone call to the other team,

Billy, Zirk, and Hank. You guys embedded yourselves amongst the dragons, passing your initiation test yesterday, then spending the night in Billy's smithy. You are pretending to help Billy with her tasks around the forge, but in reality you are preparing to assassinate one of the two vault keepers today so that you can then proceed to the vault. Billy, you would know this most of all. You probably shared this with the other guys last night, but a big part of the reason your team is hiding out amongst the

dragons is because one of the vault keepers is their leader. Captain Donovan Calhoun, the wiver night. You'll recognize this person as being the loud commander who sentenced Glorg to death, as well as Grim Dung Superior, who ordered you to be taken to the barracks. Dung has a superior, my god. So Billy, you have been here for a couple of years now, working your way up. You generally know Kell Hoon's movements from tracking him.

He has private quarters attached to a different barracks. You guys are in one that kind of house like the recruits and the people who are being trained just to kind of join the army. His barracks houses the Wyvern Knights who are the elite, the best of the best dragoons. You also know that he is psychically linked to his Wyvern, and that his Wyvern is named Stinger, and Stinger wears armor on top of his scales. So Stinger's no freaking joke. Okay, so we couldn't like take Stinger out for a drink

and like get Stinger on our side. If we did, I think Donovan would be hearing the entire exchange. Right, he would essentially have him on speakerphone the our side. Right. If we did, I think Donovan would be hearing the entire exchange. Right. He would essentially have him on speaker phone the whole time. OK. Yeah.

That's kind of the way it works. Besides knowing where Captain Calhoun is stationed, where his quarters are and where like his office is, you also know that the captain takes stinger on a hunt every day. There is a... It must be nice. He's kind of a nice wiber grider. I look at Inget and I'm like, don't get any ideas.

Inget looks super better. Pretty sure Spritals vegan. There is a royal farm on a rock plate nearby where they heard these giant beetle creatures called beetles. Laming hot beetles. Bietles. Laming hot beetles. Their beetles meets cows.

Oh wow. So there's this farm where they heard these giant beetle creatures out of nearby tunnels. They're basically these big dumb, docile creatures that breed super quickly. In fact, Billy, you would even know this. They're thought to have been kind of like magically created because they're sort of this like miraculous food source, just these big meaty bugs. Oh, what are the farming practices like? How humane is it?

It's like not, it's about as humane as you think. So they're not like, they're not huge animal lovers. No, they're not actually not huge animal lovers. But this isn't the wiver nights. This is where this dude goes to hunt. So essentially, Cal Hoon and Stinger fly into the tunnels and hunt betos themselves just so Stinger can stretch his wings and grab a big

in for himself. I don't know why you're cracking up with this. You must have known about beatos your whole life. I know, but you just never get used to it. I'm telling you right now. I mean, I'm not. The idea that something sounds like Cheeto is like uncontrollably hilarious to you guys. Like this is this episode stopper. It's just

an overall silly name. It's saying as part of a serious plot. It was meant to read. It's not a Cheeto. They're a very silly creature. So yeah so you guys is there anything you would have done the night before because we are flashing forward To be lined up with the other party. It is the day of the heist So so we've had a we're gonna get a full you guys have gotten a full night's rest Great huge and you guys can tell me in retrospect What you guys have done throughout the night if you have anything you would have prepped.

I do have like two things that I'm getting prepared for, Mr. Henry, pardon me. Henry. Okay. And so, um, so I think I take, I take off a shield back. Hey, wait. Give it here. And I take out like this beautiful cape that like moves like velvet. But if you look at it, it's actually like super tiny little chain links.

And I give it to Henry and it's the cloak of Elvin kind. Okay. Billy, this is going to sound weird, but can I lick that cloak? You, you're already, he's already licking it. You can't ask him to lick. And that cloak goes straight to Henry. You see it drips with saliva. It was the silky smooth cloak. I'm in the scene. It is like stained where it was licked.

It's like darker. It's like when you rub your hand on a velvet couch. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's like, Sir, can you lick it the opposite way? I'll try. It was a good lick. I mean, yeah, I'll lick it.

Yeah, at this point, it looks like he's just gonna have to lick the whole thing to make it all a magic. Give me a second, yeah. It's very magical though. It's almost like tiny little eyes that can like reflect what's seen on the other side incredible Yeah, it is incredible. It's fucking magic bitch Hey Billy, thank you. So this is the same exact

cloak that Fia has that helps her stealth so for the record I use an effusion for it. Yes. Yes. Yes I end it. It was not free. It was not free. I'm like that freeloader fiat, whatever her poor-of-lige player is. Okay, and then I'm going to take out a pair of metal clogs, and I'm going to go over to Zirk and say, I haven't infused anything in V's yet.

Do you want to be really stealthy or do you want to be able to teleport around a little bit? Which one tastes better? The same, the taste the same. It's actually just a room that I hammer into it. Disappointing, but I understand. If you're disappointed, I take it back and I am. No, no, no, no, no.

I put into the winding path on myself, but I say, if you want to bestow this upon yourself, I can hide myself pretty well. I'm pretty wispy, but if you want that for yourself, I feel like, you know, you're probably going to be up closer in the fray if some extra movement would help you, I would say, go for it. I hold up my crossbow and I say, I'm not worried about being close. But yeah, so I can either help your stealth or help your bat or fail movement. Let's go with stealth because there's just a real good chance I'm going to drop a bag of

buttons and it's going to make a lot of noise. Right. Okay. So should I leave the buttons here? You're dropping them. They already they make a loud noise as they hit some metal on the way down. I sew them all into like some plate mail. Wow. You guys see as you guys are getting ready, Isaac comes out of the bathroom and goes,

great, what have you got for me, Billy? Oh my God, for getting about you. I'm so sorry. No, it's just that we've been in the resistance for like a long time, do you think? Right. Okay, you see this plate mail? I've enchanted it.

Whoa. We've buttons. Buttons. Oh my God. I'll trade you. I'll trade you my old. Oh, I'll call. Yeah, he puts the armor on.

No, Isaac's fine. Isaac's still. And then I maintain my infusion on my crossbow. And then before we, and then the night before I also would have stopped by, I'm assuming that I would have access to like the, like artillerists or armorists or whatever. Sure. Basically like weapons, cache, eh?

Sure, yeah. Yeah, you can go up, there's like in the barracks, there's an armorry, certainly. I want to go find dynamite you want to go find dynamite I want to do that you go up to the armory I say don't let anything catch on fire and I wink and then shoot them I met old news. um so sand is in the stove huh it's It's been a few hours since the trials. So everything has like calmed down a bit. Most of the troops in their bunks going to bed.

But you do see Grimdung just outside the armory as you approach and he goes, Err, hey, hey, really. Grimmy, it's so good to see you. I was just thinking about how much you hooked me up with these assistants. Right, yeah, how did you, how did you, brunchy? So much better.

Also, I like can't stop thinking about that conversation that we had earlier. And while I'm saying this, I wanna use my arcane trickster hand to steal dynamite. Sweet, go ahead and- So I'm like distracting him by flirting with him. Okay, also, I'm gonna say he was just outside of the armory.

Go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage to kind of like talk your way in as if you guys are both like walking in. Hey, yeah, I think I'm just like, oh yeah, I'm just like looking for like something new to shoot out of this old crossbow, if you know what I mean. Oh yeah, you gotta find that new thing that's sparse, it's like just a very rough ball.

And then I got 23 deception. Sweet, so yeah, you go into the armory. Grimdung himself was like going into, put away an axe that he had just used that was like a little bit dull He hands it to like one of the other grunts to like go sharpen it and he's grabbing a new axe As you go to grab some dynamite go ahead and give me an investigation or a perception check Not one. Okay. I'm gonna say you do not immediately see any dynamite. Alright, fuck it. I just say, oh my god. Grimmie, you know what, I just remembered.

I really need more heat for the forge. Feet for forge. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, two sticks from together. Yeah, no, no, no, but I need, so I'm like, I'm like working on this like, really good piece for Lord's side. If you want something like really strong and in order to get the metal to be like so strong, I need dynamite. Don't you gonna blow up metal? Yeah, it's just a

way to get like super heat, it stays in the forge. It's just kind of like forge business. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with disadmitted Fucking 18 and a 19 bitch Fuck yourself I'm officer. He I apparently got it does he seen I'm gonna say grimdung is not a complete moron He's not like totally fooled, but he just kind of laughs to himself and he goes here. Yeah, you got a little project Firepower for I get it. I'm gonna masturbate with it. Oh My god You see Grimdung goes in and you see behind like a lock box You see Grimdung goes in and you see behind like a lock box.

You do find some explosives. Go ahead and roll me a D10 and that'll be how many sticks of dynamite there are back there. Oh my God, come on baby. Come on 10. Nine. Nine. We'll take the nine. Thank you.

You find nine sticks of dynamite. That's a lot. That's almost done. Wrap them up into a little... Bindle? Yeah, put them in. I put like a little bookstrap around them. Right on.

You wrap them up in a little Bindle, Billy you walk away, and you rejoin the rest of the party inside. I put the Dynamite through my fingers, like their little Wolverine cloths. I say, we got Dynamite, baby! Whoa! Whoa! It's right over here, that.

That baby. Sprite will start buzzing around. And then I'll check it out. Spoonie, look at that. I see. Come on. Spoonie points. Why are you excited?

Yeah, I'm too happy. This is, I love dynamites. My favorite thing. All right. I love it more than soup. I love dynamites, my favorite thing. Uh, all right. You love it more than soup! I love it more than soup, but the only thing I love more than soup is you. I look at Billy with tears in my eyes and I say, you made us very happy today. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Is there just like thanks to himself? Hank needs something. Hahaha. I don't know what it is to himself Hank needs something. I don't know what it is but he needs something bad. I think he's found it. You know he's smart enough to know that this spoon isn't alive. So something is happening. Sweet guys, so is there anything else you guys want to prepare besides stealing dynamite you fucking really?

Yeah. I was going to ask Billy a question. So we're going to be on this mission, but for the team that's here, I'm wondering if there's something we could do to just provide a distraction that we can trigger if need be. Because I have a way to. Oh, that's really good. Yeah, we could put a fog cloud.

Oh, I was thinking we could either do a fog cloud at the hut or a fog cloud or some sort of a fireworks display nearby where they're going to be attacking the other vault keeper, just so that anyone trying to get to the vault might run towards the fireworks instead if they're in trouble. Nearby, like for the other team. For the other team, yeah.

Because we're gonna be off in the caves. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to help us too much on that front. I think Information is a bit decentralized, so I might not know where do I know where you would know that there's like this wizard's tower that the other Team is going towards. Okay, that's so sick. Yeah, let's do something like that. Okay. How about you load up with his Cloak so you're wearing multiple stealth items. It's all in these nice metal crocs, okay. Clogs, not crocs. What did I say?

We can go lay that out there. Oh, you can go do it yourself. I think it might be nice if someone asks questions. You can say that we're just doing it like a lot of service. I can be really mean to you, like I'm hazing you. That's great. That's wonderful You can like be putting me through the motions for all the the spell work that a path of the mind person would need to do Okay, I'm gonna shove

You see grim done nods approvingly Yeah! You see, grim done nods approvingly. Very true. Very true. Very true. Well, you're so convincing. I know, I'm so sorry. I've been lying for so long.

It's coming to me second nature. Sweet. So you guys are going off to set a distraction. Kind of like a midway point between where you guys are now and where that wizard's tower is. You guys head towards the kind of north side of the castle district. It's like a 10-minute walk. You walk past all these other guards. Let me know what you do. So I have an ability called Glyph of Warding, which basically lets me store a spell in like an object.

It's more or less invisible. There's specific investigation checks you have to do for it. But I think if we could hide it in a slippery, wet sign, or maybe some sort of, I don't know, if there's a common place we could hide it so that nobody would inspect it further. There's definitely like torches and lantern posts and things like that. What spell are you thinking of putting in?

I could put pyro techniques in it, so it could either be fireworks or a smoke cloud. Okay, so I think pyrotectnics is like, blinding effect, right? Right, this is in case they're in trouble or if they just need like an opportune moment. Ah, and then we can sort of like tell them on the sending stone. Exactly.

Okay, yeah, yeah, that's good. So let's find like a torch or something. Yeah, a torch would be good. Sweet let's find like a torch or something. Yeah, a torch would be good. Sweet. You guys find a post with one of these torches with blue flame that lights up the area that gives creatures without dark vision,

some light here in the castle district because you guys are in a giant cavern, everything's dark. I put it like in the blind spot of the torch, like right where it's brightest in a red. So you guys set a little trap, a distraction in case anything goes wrong with the other team today, or tomorrow.

We'll say this is still the night before. Yep. So you guys, I'll go to bed. We dig a little trench. You dig a little trench. Not a respect. You get all your stuff back and you wake up the day of when you need to kill the vault keeper and when you need to get to the vault.

It is the same day that Fiya and rundown Johnny and Chrissy jumped the wall and you guys have received the message that they have successfully gotten onto the grounds of the castle district. And today is the day for you guys to take out Captain Calhoun this one vault keeper or else the mission fails period. Okay, I wake up I make up a fix Lugie French press Start passing it around without even doing the press part Start passing it around without even doing the press part Zerk crunches the grind crunches the grind bitches. We're a big day ahead of us

Rising grind and then crunch those grinds boys and girls. I love it Hank actually Hank's gonna fry up a little bit of bito Nice big bito fry. Oh, I'm so glad you can cook. I'm such a terrible cook. Oh, a beto steak and beto eggs. Oh, I love it. A beto mash, a beto hash. Oh. Hank, is there any sort of ritual that sailors do before they take off to see that just gets them, you know, amped up and ready to go? Yeah.

When we would put out to see, we used to kind of get like roaring drunk, but that feels like maybe not the move. Yeah, it's like really not the time for that is a thing. I love that. Maybe after, after. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so let's tell you what, this is a new tradition. Let's fill up a glass for us to drink on a successful return.

We might not ever come back here, but a full glass to come back to. I will do you one better and I get my be-o-blows and like pass them around for that But like easier to carry because like a glass be like Okay, and that's for later because we will be drinking it together in celebration. I love that I absolutely fill it to the fucking brim. I don't. Zerks laughs the bag. You guys, you guys cheers, but you don't sip. You tuck away the skins. Alright then. I mean, Isaac, do you have anything you need to do? Should we get this show on the road? Are we approaching there pretending that we have

business at the farm or are we just gonna sneak into the caves? Because there are guards up there and stuff. I think that we try to sneak and if it goes wrong Then I jump out and I say I'm delivering something to captain Kahun It's like really really important get out the way I don't think you want to say captain Calhoun Because that would be a strange place to meet him is on the farm. You might want to say that you're bringing something to the farm. What the fuck can I be bringing to the farm?

They do use like new beetle prods. They do have prods that are like essentially like electric cantrips that are like stabs that are like to poke them. So savage. I don't want to be a part of that, but yeah, we'll say that. Okay, okay. They also need like picks and things like that. Like they do like work on the tunnels and stuff.

I guess we could be bringing like beetle feed if we wanna be a little less, little more humane about it. I mean, if it's gonna be believable from me, it's gonna be some sort of like weapon. So yeah, I think we're gonna go with prods. A cool fucking beopros. Yeah, so it's okay, because we're not actually bringing up the word.

Yeah, right. We're still in the clear. Okay, so I think that we try to sneak, if we get caught, we say we're bringing this and we try to get as far as we can to try and isolate Captain Calhoun, take him out there. I will say you guys can walk there without doing any kind of check because it's not super unusual for you just to be like walking around the castle district that's not strange. So you guys... If we see Grimmy I'll shout something mean. You do see Grimdung is out in the yard amongst all the recruits in the morning. Oh my god you law idiot! Do you know what I mean? Oh my god! It's

so impossible to find good help I'm so sorry. You should probably kick my ass or maybe put your boot on my throat just to make you convincing I put my boot Zerp or 10's not to like it. You're sick man. You like just goes down so fast I think I think he might like your... Zerg isn't sure why but he needs this. Get up. I don't punish this one. Of course your turn sir.

I thought I was going through something with the Sponning. Billy, you need to new ones today. Oh, no, grimy. It's just sort of like managerial like technique You like you make the people below you feel terrible So that they work harder You I see you do I love you Thank you so much. I'm watching I'm learning I'm gonna go off. I, I'm doing. I appreciate you, I appreciate you, I'm going to go off, get a meeting with the captain today.

So I'm going to go talk to him over at his barracks. Oh, right. Well, she around I guess. Yeah, I'll see you around. I'll see you around. What are you not meeting about? Anything that I would have to do with my profession. I see. What are you not meeting about? Anything that would have to do with my passion. I actually shared a rumblings of, you know,

rebellion and whatnot, kind of squash that down, get rid of that right away. Okay, I mean, do you want me to come? Because that maybe you need certain like weapons or appfades, that only I can find. I can be weird if I just say word of blacksmith to an officer's meeting, and probably be proud of on

Sorry, Jimmy. I'm just so loved Okay, okay I totally know I told you see Grim done walks off When Grim done is not there. I whisper to Billy. Does that mean that the captain's not gonna be where we think he is? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to fucking get a read on. I'm like kind of worried now. You would imagine is Wyvern still needs to eat at some point. It just means Grimdung needs to talk to him at some point today Okay, so I think honestly maybe Grimdung is stalling him a little bit for us Is Grimdung on our side? Can I do an insight check if Grimdung is on our side?

Sure. I have a minus one to insight 11 as on our side. Sure. I have a minus one to inside. 11. 11? It seems unlikely, but like, I don't know. You see, as you say that, Isaac goes, I mean, he's never been brought up in any of our meetings or anything. If there was another man on the inside, wouldn't we know about it? Well, maybe they're intentionally not telling you everyone they have on the inside.

Yeah, I mean, keep it safe. Keep it safe. Yeah, that's part of the game is like decentralizing the information about who's working for what. Well, you've been here longer, is there like a reason that this due to sympathetic to you? Because to me, everything I've seen them do is just like be mean to recruits and mumble. Oh, yeah, you tried to kill me. Right, yeah. Okay, let's get a move on, guys.

Yeah. So you guys, no sell check yet, but you guys approach the Eastern edge of the castle district. You meet the natural rock wall of the cavern where the farming plate sits. There's a long staircase carved into the rock that leads up higher. And even from here, you can see

swarms of these docile betos being herded into pens. You hear a cacophony of beton noises echoing through the cave in this area. Oli, oi, oi. No fucking way. Billy, you really should have warned us. Okay, my sympathy for this dog, our creature. It's wearing a fan.

I can't be here. Oi. Wait, real quick, can we just like meditate in the sound of the beat? It looks fast. Oi, oi, oi, oi. I need to break into the liquor early, I'm sorry. I need to take no, just a taste. So you guys are on the lower part right now.

You guys are in like the castle district. Essentially, you're still behind the castle walls, but there are these stairs that lead up to this plate, this rock plate that is this farming area. There are workers around. Do you want to try to talk your way into walking into this farming area, or do you want to sneak up there?

I feel like I gave you all this stealthy gear. I'm tempted to just use it. I think we've got a pretty good backup plan if we get caught. Yeah. I think you want to try out these clogs. Yeah, I love my new cloak even though it's covered in saliva. I think that's aiding in the illusion. I don't know why it isn't drying.

I'm concerned about that. It is starting to dry and it looks like comb. I mean, I've convinced this thing is a spell proponent in a lot of things. It's true. I have drank a lot of liquids that a human should not. Sorry, your cloak is so stained. He's jealous.

I'm going to buff it out. I'm going to buff it out. I say, why would you be jealous? Look at all the buttons on your plate. I used to have a jacket that looked like that actually, Isaac. I put her straps. Those are buttons of swagger, my friend. Guys, go ahead and roll, uh, stealth checks.

Okay. Okay. So I think both of you roll with advantage and then Hank, I think it's disadvantage to even perceive you or something like that. Whoa. Thank God for advantage. Oh, thank God for advantage. Indeed, shout out to the two crew,

but I got an 11. 22 full. Right, I'm also going to take my guy's arm and just kind of blow on the blade and let the smoke dissipate and it cloak everybody in shadow and we have pass without trace. Sweet, so plus 10 to everybody stealth rolls

when everybody goes. So that's a far tooy Toe to win. I've got a 29. 24 total for Zoraad. So you guys sneak up. You guys definitely pass the passive perceptions of the people working down here. And you guys climb the steps, and there

are little inlets of rocks and stuff that you're able to hide behind as you stealth up. And also, you're all shadowy because of past without trace. And you get up to the farming plate. You see a few pens with these beetles in it. And you do see that there are a few dragon's up here. Looks like they're up here like guarding the food supply, like doing watch, making sure that no one messes

with anything. They are more guarding kind of the tunnels to make sure nobody goes in there. You do see that there are these tunnels that the beetos are being like a herded out of. You see shepherds, these zombies with like these prods, like they usually don't have to shock the beetos, the beetos actually eat fucking rocks, you see them grazing on rocks.

You see that the shepherds sometimes are just throwing pretty rocks and the beetos are following them. Pretty rocks. They like the shepherd sometimes are just like throwing like pretty rocks and the beetles are like following them pretty rocks pretty rocks They like pretty like rocks. Yeah, but pretty rock Yeah, like flashy rocks. Yeah, I as a human if if there was a prettier sandwich I would be drawn to it. Yeah, naturally. Yeah, if you were a Magically created creature. Yeah, that was intelligence of four and somebody threw a shiny thing, yes you would be more willing to hold. Okay, I know, I'm using it as strategy,

trying to understand. If there's a grilled cheese, I choose the grilled cheese with the gooey as cheese. I guess, yes, yes, yes, yes. Chocolate chips, exactly. I'm just trying to figure out how to seduce these beetles. Yeah, I can, I do. I do.

We can use our tinkering to create some pretty shiny rocks. So you guys are gonna need to do another stealth check if you want to go into the tunnels here. I guess we could try and cause the beetles to stampede. That would make a stampede. A stampede if you will. Thank you, Hank. You're welcome.

Yes, we just make a big pile of shiny rocks. Why don't we just, yeah, why don, we just make a big pile of shiny rocks. Why don't we just yeah? Why don't we just make 10 pounds of shiny rocks? I'll take my invisible arcane tricks to Mei Chand and fucking Hock fam. Okay, it will be 30 feet away from us. So even if people notice the shiny rocks, it can't be traced to us. People notice the shiny rocks. It can't be triced to us. Perfect. Go ahead and give me a deception or a slight of hand check, Billy. Can someone help? Can I help with that somehow? Yes, yes, yes, I'll allow a help action. 24.

24. Nice. Okay, you take your, what a chuck. Your hurricane trickster hands You grab at some nearby like crystals and stalactites nearby You chuck them you see some beatos that are being led out of the tunnel start going I I I start like jumping up and It's like when you go undercover you have this idea of all this sexy work you've got to be doing,

but really it's just like stepping in be-o-shit. You see, these guards look like a little bit distracted, and these shepherds are like running towards these beetos that are like hopping up, like fucking 30 feet in the air, like jumping up, like fucking 30 feet in the air, like jumping up going after them, touring this hubbub that you guys create. You see everyone looks distracted, you guys slip into the kind of main tunnel here.

You enter a long tunnel and see a bunch of beetos grazing about eating rocks. What do they sound like again? I, I, I, I. I was too much for getting. I feel like things are about to get really serious, so I just have to ask, are they coming? I.

Do I know? They, if you see one near like eggs, it might be like chasing all over the egg. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like maybe. Okay, all right. The answer's like a hot maybe. That's all I need, but it is, it's saliva that's on my cloak, confirmed.

I'm not too sure. I am, that's all I need but it is it's saliva that's on my cloak confirmed I'm not too sure I am Okay, actually I got to be honest. It looks like come to me too. Yeah, it just it just does did everyone ejaculate on my fucking cloak So you guys are in this tunnel Um, and you see that there are metaphorically too And you see that there are... Metaphorically, too. A Metaphorical tunnel. I am in a tunnel.

I see the light at the end of it. You see that there are diverging tunnels that look like they could be natural burrows that these little beasts are making. But down the main tunnel, as you guys follow it, you finally reach the kind of main cavern. You find this huge circular room. There are rows of burrowing holes all along the cave wall, out of which house these beetos. The cavern is big,

like 200 feet in diameter, and probably goes up about 100 feet. You see big egg sacks? In the corner. This is like the most disgusting. It's absolutely fucking disgusting. I just wanna reiterate, I thought I would be like, you know, doing espionage.

Right. And you see that the whole, even though this is like a huge area, this is where they like congregate and come out of like the mountain, so it's just covered in. Okay, new plan. We like hide in a hatched egg. This is the life Leonora wanted for me. This is living with purpose.

Yeah, Hank is petting one's wet carapace. Oh, so many eggs came out when you did that. Yeah, you tip a veto and egg pops out under your cloak. The egg pops out. Zerke pockets some eggs. Yeah, I did deserve that. Sweet, so Captain Calhoun is not here yet. What do you guys do?

I don't know what sort of like magic you all have, but I figure we just kind of like hide in these burrow holes. Oh, if you need magic for hiding, Zerke v's got your Cirkey v's got you covered Cirkey v. Are we going with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you haven't known him for a long time But he also has never said it in front of me. He didn't say it. I've known for a day and a half I feel like this should have come out. I've been working up the courage. Yeah, no, I've known him for months

Should we spend the time trying to like learn how to ride be-os in case we need to hop on them? It's not a bad idea, I guess we could... Sweet, see how receptive they are. Yeah, go ahead and, they're pretty docile. Go ahead and everybody give me an animal handling check. I do have a minus one to that. It's a seven for Billy. A seven?

13 for Zerg? I'm gonna try to ride the one that marked me with their eggs. Okay. Okay. That's the beginning. You have a connection Wow, all right 17 Billy You get on top of one. It's legs go out from under it and it just goes It's heavier than it looks um Zirk youirk, you with a 13, get on one, it gets scared and hops 30 feet up into the air. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hank, with a 17, it also hops up, but you feel you're able to like, I'll say you've got some like rope in your pack and you're able to like use it almost like rains, like you wrap it around it, and you're able to kind of direct it, but you're able to kind of

guide it as it briefly glides in the air. That's just like staring a boat. Alright, I'm gonna call you T-Cub. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you five bird dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that bird dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to

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promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me me go team pants and enjoy the show So I think unless someone has something else they want to do Barely is just gonna like hide in a burrow. We should probably hide in a burrow for now But I can cast a rope trick and then we can have like a interdimensional hiding place. Oh Can we like see what's going on outside of us? Yes, let me see what the card says.

The extra dimensional space can be reached by climbing to the top of the rope. The space can hold as many as eight medium or smaller creatures. The rope can be pulled into the space, making the rope disappear from view outside the space. Attacks and spells can't cross through the entrance, into or out of the extra dimensional space.

But those inside can see out of the extra dimensional space, but those inside can see out of it as through a as if through a three by five foot window centered on the rope. So it's fucking awesome. We're gonna get like a little TV. Yes, it's duration is an hour. Yeah. Do we have a sense of when you would probably hear the wiver and flapping.

So if you guys want to prepare to do that, that's exactly what we want to do. Right on. Okay. Cool. And Shank has been summoned. He's kind of part of like my disguise, but right on. Remind everyone that he's he's here. So after a bit, you guys lie and wait. And eventually you do hear the flapping of wings echoing from further down the tunnel. So I'll say you put up the rope trick and you guys are now suspended in sort of an interdimensional space. We can be 60 feet up. 60 feet? Yeah, I'll say there's like rows of these like burrows. So you can be like kind of like standing in these burrows here. You guys hear

flapping, echoing through the tunnels as you guys hide in this rope trick until finally, you see Captain Calhoun and his waiver burst through the entrance and fly out circling the cave. He's got this dark armor on and this bucket helm under which you see a glowing blue light. It looks like he's likely some kind of rath or ghost underneath all of the armor. You see he has a longbow on his back as well as a shield and a lance like mounted on the side of the wivern that it looks like he could probably access pretty easily. You see Stinger, his undead wivern, wears metal armor from the top of his

head all down its neck. And the flesh that you do see is decaying and rotted. And you see that it does indeed have a stinger that radiates like a poison energy. And most troubling of all, you see that, you see that atop the wiver and with Captain Calhoun is Sergeant Grimdung. Okay. Is Grimdung like, oh, he's like holding on. Okay, maybe we won't have to do anything.

Maybe Grimdung's about to toss him up this thing and it'll all be over. Okay. And you hear Captain Calhoun is like loud as fuck. He only has like one level that he speaks at. And Hank and Zerke, you guys heard him in the arena speaking. And his voice is echoing through the cave. So it's a little hard to hear Grimdung responding to him.

Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks with disadvantage to your Grimdung. Okay. Oh, that's f**k. Oh, that's f**k. Oh my gosh. 17 and a 15. I don't, oh, I have a minus one to perception.

So 14. Okay. Oh, that's gonna be a dirty 20 for Z sure. Shit. Alright. I also got a 14. Got these long droopy ears. So you guys all here echoing through the cave is the loud voice of Captain Calhoun who's going, Sergeant Grip Dog, I appreciate you taking a lunch meeting. Thanks if in quite busy here since the escape and I thought Stinger could still use some time to stretch out his wings and get some fresh meat. On that note we have a serious issue. I think there might be a mole

amongst your troops. We got a lead on an awakened agent's location and raided his home this morning. He had maps of your barracks, ways to get around the walls, he even had merchant credentials and blueprints of the castle? A zirke. With your dirty 20, you do hear Grimdung go, her mo mo in chat. And you guys can all see like Grimdung's kind of like thinking about it seriously and Calhoun goes, yeah, they've been slipping through our fingers. I think we really need to clean up shop around here.

I've been talking to the leaders of all the different barracks. I think we get some mages in there. We read some minds and we find out who these moles are. Has anyone been acting unusual in your jurisdiction? And Grimdung at first goes No ships you see Thinks to himself for a moment and goes somebody looking for some for some dynamite oh

Shit, oh no, yeah, that's definitely unusual. I don't know why you're just one. Dynamite, that seems pretty strange. Alright. Whenever you're ready. Okay, I was literally sitting here being like, how do I fucking save Grimy? But I think that being undercover has clouded my head and he's actually a bad guy. So I'm going to bonus action, Mage Hand, Stowe, the dynamite in Captain Calhoun's armor. And then I'm going to cast heat metal on the armor. Okay.

Here's what I'm going to say. You're going to need to do a slight of hand check. Mm-hmm. Do I get a advantage because we're hiding? that you're going to need to do a slight of hand check. Mm-hmm. Do I get a advantage because we're hiding? You do not have advantage because you are going to be slipping something into his armor.

So this is a flat check and I will tell you that he has a high passive perception, but we might get lucky. Are you doing all of that? Are you doing all of the dynamite? Yeah, because a Maytank can hold 10 pounds. Okay. The dynamite is one pound. Okay Wait is it I wait hold on is the is the dice that you're rolling is it is it good? Do you trust it?

I do trust it. I do trust it. Okay. All right Magic magic magic one time That does indeed passes passive perception Team Bid's plus 10, 28! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Stow the dynamite in there and then I'm going to cast Cantrip fireball to Like I've like tied it up in that little like okay, he bindle in the little bindle fireball says a flammable object hit by the spell Ignites if it isn't being worn or carried okay, so here's what I will say Normally with the surprise round you would get advantage but targeting a very specific part of his armor is gonna be disadvantaged So this is going to be a flat roll to try to hit him one time one more time 17

You see a flaming fireball heading towards grimdung and Captain Calhoun And at the last second he goes whoa whoa, Stinger help us out! And he pulls on the reins, you can see Stinger turns his neck. The armor catches the fire bolt, does not hit, everybody go ahead and roll initiative. Wait, but don't they get surprise rounds too? We would all get a surprise round, right?

If you guys want to jump out and do something right now, you guys are falling out of the arena. Reaction, feather fall. Feather fall, youfall. Featherfall. So we all have featherfall. Zerks shoot another fireball. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Okay.

All right. Um, let me rule my attack. This is just a straight attack. You can do it with advantage because you're surprised. Because he's surprised, yeah. Okay. Shoot the dynamite. Oh, we crad.

Yeah, we crad. Oh my god craked. Yeah, we craked! Oh my god. Wow. Billy was able to get the dynamite into this dude's armor, but tried to hit it exactly. Flew a bit too close to the sun was not able to hit it. Zerke, you fucking quick draw your gun as you're falling. You are able to hit Calhoun, but I'm going to say,

you are not shooting directly for the dynamite like Billy has you would have had to do that with disadvantage So I'm gonna say there is a damage threshold of 20 to set off the dynamite, but if you hit that number We'll say that the dynamite counts towards your crits. You can roll those dice twice. So go ahead and roll your damage That is going to be 25 but... Alright, you guys see um... Fuck it. Ali-oop.

You shoot this dude and there is an explosion as soon as you hit him. That's so much more fucking intense than just a regular blitz. He only needs to make a DC-12 dexterity, David Grim. But he still takes half on a special. So the Wyvern? So the Wyvern? And Grimmy. And Grimmy.

And Grimmy. Oh no. Can I say that featherfall I included Grimmy in that? Oh my god. Oh okay. Isaac's just like, why? So I'm going to roll first. She's just the first all-roll for Kel-Hoon.

Great. Nat 20, Kel-Hoon passes. So he's gonna take half. Okay, so he takes 44 damage. 44? Yeah, it was a total of 88, a roll that I'm in. Jesus, fuck. Very good.

Okay, yeah, you see you blow him right up. I'm like, fuck. Very good. Okay. Yeah, you see you blow him right up. Oh, that's smooth. He felt the long time. What about the Wyvern? The Wyvern is going to make a deck saving throw, turns to try to spin itself around to get away from the dynamite.

Passes, that's a 17. Okay, so he also takes 44 damage. He's taking it off. Oh no, what about me? Wiver like unintentionally dives down, like head fucking blasts down, drops the veto that it had just grabbed. Oh my god. And instantly looks pretty hurt.

Good Lord, what a start. I mean, the dynamite was out of the bag metaphorically so you might as well get it. Yeah and the grimy is gonna make a deck saving throw and that's a 17. Good rolls for those guys. Grimy is much less powerful. You see grimy is straight up blown off the wide burn. He's not nearly as good of a rider, but he has feather fall and begins falling and goes What can I fry? Because you're in love I'm in love with the Empire

No search deep or grimy Accidentally in love starts playing accidentally in love starts playing. Oh, but he should also take the Zirk damage too. Oh, and the Calhoun takes fucking 25 damage. Jesus, this dude. He's very, very sturdy and powerful, but you guys last him to start off.

You see, yeah, the Wyvern rocks back. Calhoun looks injured instantly. And you see that Grimmy falls off rocks back. Calhoun looks injured instantly. And you see that Grimmy falls off his back. Emily, can you re-record accidentally in love for this scene? Ha ha ha ha. Just every time I can't stop thinking about it. I've dropped it.

I scream, I scream, I've never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Oh no. Oh god. Grimdung is just a zombie shrek. Hank, is there anything you would like to do? It would need to be ranged unless you have a way to get to them. I'm gonna say they're like 60 feet away. Okay, so my, yeah, my guys arms not gonna reach there even with reach. I do have a crossbow.

Do it. Thanks. Got a crossbow. Yeah, so does Isaac. Crossbows. Nice, let's cross them. Crossbows, sweets. You and Isaac fire at the same time. What is this, and I like this.

By the way, I'm usually an animal lover as everybody knows, but I'm going to try to shoot the wife. It's a whiver. Are you shooting at Stinger specifically? Yeah. Why is he shooting at the Drake? He's been here. That's a 2021 to hit the beautiful flying creature.

Yeah, you hit the beautiful majestic creature. Nine damage. Right on. Isaac also hits Isaac only does seven damage, but does it to Captain Call of Prospros. Yeah, why'd you attack the livern? I was making the X yeah Link so I feel like that'll get under the captain skin sweet everybody go ahead and roll initiative

Okay, as you guys are floating down that one on initiative It's really tough act to follow to shoot a fucking It was really tough to follow to shoot a fucking boss after that. 9-6 of Dynamite went off in the bad guy's vest. Do you want to shoot him with an arrow? Yeah. 9-6 of Dynamite off is expecting 88 damage to be done for three of top. Oh, yeah, that's 9 damage to its mount. If your whole thing is infiltrating, persuading, charming,

why wouldn't you make a play for the dynamite? Right, yeah, you gotta go for the dynamite. Hank, what'd you get? You really have to go out seven. If you have a bonus action Maychan on top of that. Seven on initiative. That's going to be a stinky egg-covered 20-per-zirk. Self-free.

At the top of the order, that is Captain Calhoun and Stinger. Captain Calhoun assumes that Zirk just did all of that on his own, huh? Wow, it's insanely powerful. Where's that gun from, young man? You blew up my insides. You shot me for the most damage anyone has ever shot before. Yeah. Well, now that you're inside to blow up, search him

because the gun came from your butt. You're undoubtedly the strongest person I've ever met and I absolutely need to kill you first. surrender. He is going to go ahead and take two shots with his bow. You see he pulls out this magical long bow, like blue flame crackles around it as he pulls it out. And he is going to, actually, he's first gonna

bonus action cast Hunter's Mark, Onzirk. So you've been marked, it feels mad. I remember that one. I've marked you. And then he's going to take two shots with his bow. Little laser bead appears on me. Yeah, a little bead in the middle of your head as you flow down a swagger.

I turned to Billy, is that bad? From feather fall. To be bad. Literal, natural fucking one. Ah! Oh yeah! Shoots past you. Shoots past you.

Shoots past you. Takes another shot at you, Zirk. That one's gonna hit 26 today. Okay, deflect attack. I'm gonna have Inget my steel defender impose disadvantage on the attack roll. Okay, so we'll take another roll. First one was a natural 16.

It's gonna roll again. That's gonna be a 24 to hit still. Okay, so it's gonna hit with this arrow. That is 17 damage, Zirk. You are struck with this arrow in the shoulder, this magical arrow with like blue flame coming off of it. And then he goes, Stinger, I know your meal was taking away from you.

Can you go ahead and either bite this guy or sting this guy or leave it up to you, but And Stinger is gonna go up. It's seriously thinks about selling out his comrades So much trust in his mount. I love it. Stinger is going to come down and attempt to sting you So you see they flip around and stabs into you with its tail. That is a fucking crit. Oh boy. Oh boy. I'm gonna need you to make a constitution saving through against poison.

Okay. So everything you've lit, you can still be poisoned. I can feel the immunity building in me, but I feel like I need a couple more levels. That's why it's impressive that he looks everything Knowing that I could poison him some people I faith in the gods. I have faith in not being poisoned This is a constitution save correct that is going to be a 15, but I'm gonna use flash of You pass, but this is still a bad situation. So you took 25 piercing damage

bad situation. So you took 25 piercing damage. Yeah, that's just piercing. As you get stabbed at this critical hit, stabs you directly in the heart. Oh yeah, that's a good hit, Stinger. I think if you were going to do Stinger bite, if you're going to sting him in the heart, yeah, I would have creamed that. I love your report. Then would have done 14 D6 of poison damage had you failed that check instead will only do seven D6 Nito you know so it was good that I tried to kill this thing. I feel like Murph just like up all these monsters after that No, I haven't up them. It's just literally like he he crit. He's not you know, I'm not used to I'm not used to rolling well I don't plan for that like he, he crit. He's not, you know, I'm not used to, I'm not used to rolling well.

I don't plan for that. And additional 24 damage. Thank God. I have two hit points left. Jesus God. So you are stabbed in the chest by this thing. You are not poisoned. You just take a ton of damage and you just feel like the biggest fucking adrenaline needle Oh my god. Eng it to Zerk for the fight. I've already got Spritele. It's fight. You don't need to give me another little fella. I think you could use it.

That is true. Now that the jig is up, I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I've already got Sprydle. It's fine. You don't need to give me another little fella. I think you could use it.

That is true. Now that the jig is up, Sprydle can definitely come out. Like, yeah, it doesn't matter at this point. Zirk, that is your turn. Well, well, Murf, I think I'm gonna heal. Yeah, you should heal, but also you might need to straight up get away from these guys. So even with Featherfall, you guys, I'll say that like these guys kind of intercepted you, hit you with a Stinger mid-air,

but you guys have all landed now that it is an initiative 20. Okay, so I've landed. I guess I'll probably hide out in a tunnel. I'll use my movement to get in a tunnel kind of like out of direct sight. Sweet, so you run 30 feet and get to like one of the burrows. Yeah, I hide behind one of the beados.

Cool. I start making beado noises to blend in. Rad. Oh. Oh. Oh. Those are happening naturally. Oh.

They're freaked out at all the grigas. So we're kind of like, I now that I've got my gun back And I don't have to worry about it being concealed for this fight I am going to use collateral healing. I'm going to cast healing or it is a bonus action on myself Red on and then I'm gonna use Sprite all the cast haste on Henry whoa Sweet Sprite all rushes out goes over Hank you feel this rush of energy. Hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi Give me a stealth check and that will determine how much cover you have. Right. So that will add to your AC.

The guys have, since you didn't use an action, it's not a real hide. The guy has seen where you are, but if you do a good stealth check, you'll get three-quarters cover, which is plus five AC. Okay. I'm just going to see how deep into this egg gunk I can get. Right on. Yeah, you just dive into some freaking gunk. This borrow, baby.

So that's 15. Do we still have pass without trace? Yeah, you guys still have pass without trace. Okay, so I'll say, Zirk, you're able to get three quarters covers, so that's plus five AC. So you get around the corner of like a tunnel, you're a little bit harder to hit.

At the end of your turn, Captain Calhoun is going to take a legendary action. CZZirk is a little bit hard to hit at the moment. Takes a shot at Hank 27 to hit. I do have 21. Yeah, no, it's gonna hit. No, it's gonna do it. Yeah, 26 damage, Hank.

Yikes. After Zirk's turn, that is Isaac's turn. Isaac is going to go ahead and use a once a day ability. Blood curse of binding. As a bonus action, the blood hunter targets. One creature it can see within 30 feet of it. The target must succeed on a DC 14 Strength saving throw or have its speed reduced to zero and be unable to take reactions.

The target can repeat, it's saving throw at the end of each of its turns and ending the effect on itself on a success. He'll do that on the Wyvern. So the Wyvern has a plus five to strength, so needs to roll a nine or higher. Does anyone want to roll that for me? You want to roll lower than a nine. Okay. You see Isaac produces some blood, smears it on his blade,

and does some blood magic, and like holds it up, and goes, be mesmerized by the blade. And then I magic and like holds it up and goes be mesmerized by the blade. And then I, and then you want me to roll? Go ahead and roll. Bodily fluid sound all of our stuff. Seven? Yeah.

The thing fails. The wiper is stuck in the air. It's a zero for the turn. So the wiper and can't move. He can only use his bow. He can't sting like he did to fucking jerk for like 50 days. So the wiper and can't do shit right now. Um, that Calhoun can still act at the end of Isaac's turn.

Calhoun is going to go ahead, um, and you see he's going to, um, flick his wrist, and you see a magical like spectral horn appears, um, and he looks down at Isaac and he goes, you know what, that's just not gonna work for me. I'm gonna need you to go ahead and turn back over to my side. You're one of the new recruits. Get in line, recruit! One of you guys can roll this for me. This is a charm attempt on Isaac. Go ahead and roll a charisma saving throw. You need to roll this for me. This is a charm attempt on Isaac. Go ahead and roll a charisma saving throw. Me to roll this one.

Sure. Okay. Isaac, resist. Resist is managerial skills. I'm trying. I have a plus zero. That's a tin. Thank God we didn't give Isaac any good stuff.

You see Isaac just nods, possessed, and then that is Hank Stern. All right, I've got haste on me. So I think I'm gonna just, I'm gonna go all out and try to kill this Wyvern. So it doesn't come alive and stab anybody else with its stinger. Okay. So are you gonna use a crossbow or how are you gonna do this? Oh yeah, so I'm on the ground. How close am I to the Wyvern now? So I'll say, because Isaac was able to do his thing, I'll say this thing had to kind of jump down to catch you guys.

So I'll say it's 30 feet off the ground. So if you wanna do an animal handling check, you can try to jump off of one of the beetles to do, if you wanna do a melee attack. All right, so I wanna hop onto the beetle that I've bonded with a little bit. Okay. The one whose eggs I'm wearing.

Right on. And try to attack Donovan. Okay, here's what I will say. DC tend to get it to hop with an animal handling check. If you fail, it will waste one attack. Okay. Yes, dude. That is a natural 15.

Pops you right up. As soon as you get on this thing, it jumps up 30 feet. You are right within reach of the Wyvern and Calhoun. Who would you like to attack? I just really feel like it was the same beado as before. I just feel it with my bones. I'm going to attack the Wyvern. I want to pick it out of commission.

Okay. All right. That out of commission. Okay. All right. That's a 24 to hit. 24 hits. 13 damage. Looking fucked up, but still there. You are up with this Beto stab into this Wyvern. It shrieks.

Go ahead and take a second to attack. All right, keep on shrieking. That's a 26. Hits. 15 damage. Good Lord. All right,'s a 26. Hits? 15 damage. Good lord. Alright, the same start, you look pretty fucked up. Great, cause I'm gonna action, Serge,

I'll take two attacks at once. That's a 21 and a 26. Jesus Christ, both hit. 24 damage. Jesus. You were earning that beetle bladder. Yeah, this thing is starting to look pretty fucked up. I love that, because actually with haste,

I can take another breath. Go ahead. That's a 26 to hit. That hits, I don't do it. That's 14 damage. Yeah, you fucked this thing right up. This thing is shrieking. It was like stuck in stasis because of Isaac's thing

and is now just kind of shaking in place, but looks below half health looks like very fucked up Okay, and the last thing I'm gonna do is unleash incarnation and have shank just a punch Isaac in the back of the head Sweet go ahead and give me Whoever rolled the charisma check for Isaac in the first place. Go ahead and roll a new one. I'll use the different dice. 16 or higher we need. Don't even worry about it.

It was a natural one, my friend. Okay. Oh boy. I, you see Isaac just looks so mad. I tossed the dice on the ground. I'm in the room, Murph saw it. I am the true king of shadows. Yeah, the shadow hurt you, not me.

That is Grimdung's turn. Hmm. Billy, you see from across the room. Grimdung starts charging in and goes, really, you're the mole. I'm the mole. I'm the mole, but I'm also the one who casts pepperhole on you. She spared you.

So you can fucking turn coat with me and we can both be the same fucking cool coat together You see he looks I flash in my tits is going He's going to Charge Towards Hank as Hank lands back down to Earth with the Beto. Zircon merges from the gunk for a peek. Make an attack on him.

Hey, Grimme, you want our side or what? Oh my god, it's a Swingsie Hugh Jacks at you. We'll get him. No one will attack him. I think he can be changed. Glory to the Empire. I can't wait to bring your head in. You're an Artificer.

You can change him. I'm gonna grab you. You're an Artificer. You can change him. I'm gonna grab you. You know an Artificer loves the projects. Eat all your interests. Misses on the first attack. Big, great axe swing. Misses. Next one is a 20 to hit. Hank. Come on, come on. No, actually, that's a 20, 21's my AC now with haste. Holy shit, Hank, you get out of the way. Grimdom does not hit.

Billy, that is your turn. Okay, steady aim, sharpshooter. Let's go first attack at the Wyvern. Okay. 21 to hit. That hits. All right, I'm gonna do sneak attack on that one. But a free damage to the Wyvern.

Jesus Christ. Billy finished the Wyvern. Ha ha ha. What I wanna do is I wanna like jump, grab it, it's like legs and then sort of like, pair a sail with it. I mean, You know what I do that was singer.

Now you want to keep me in the air channel and see if it's venom blatter. And then I want to like, got out the venom blatter and toss it to the zirke. Now I got two blatters. Sweet, yes, you shoot through the Wyvern's neck. You see it falls out of the sky and crashes into the ground. And you see Calhoun crashes down next to it, it falls out of the sky and crashes into the ground.

And you see Calhoun crashes down next to it, lands in the rubble, it goes, Stinger, Stinger wake up! Oh no! Wake up, bud! Oh no, bud! Barely fucking closes her eyes and raises her fucking crossbow to take her second attack on him. You see Calhoun looks at you and goes,

you're gonna regret traing the Empire. The war finishes what he says. But most of all, you're gonna regret killing Stinger. Well, he finishes what he says, that's 15 minus 5, so 20 to 20 hit. He is going to go ahead and Perry and add five to his AC. And he is now at 23 AC. OK.

So you see he dodges out of the way. We'll get you next time. After Billy, that is top of the order, that is Calhoun. He is so fucking mad. You see he's going to end concentration on Hunter's Mark. He's going to cast Lightning Arrow with a bonus action. You see he pulls out his bow

and dead eye aims at Billy and is going to go ahead and take a shot at her. Only a 19 to hit. I do have my reaction back because I'll cast Feveful, but then on my turn I get my reaction back. So, she'll, she'll, she'll, which brings me up to 21. Oh shit, okay, with Lightning Arrow,

whether you hit or miss, each creature within 10 feet of the target must make a dexterity saving throw, taking 2-D8 Lightning damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one. So it's still you dive out of the way but it hits a beetle near you and explodes. Massacre. Oh!

It's a fucking massacre. Do you want me to do a deck save? Deck save, yeah. 18. 18 is a pass, so you just take five damage. Nice. He's going to take his second shot 21 to hit. That is my AC right now with shield. Okay. I have the lowest armor class of us all. 23 damage.

Okay. Um, shoot two right in the shoulder. Zirk, that is your turn. Okay, um, I want to take a glance at Billy. Um, see how she's looking. Um, I think I could stand enough around. It depends on how many times he hits me. Depends on the round. It depends on the round. She killed Stinger. She's an animal hater. Stinger, wake up, boy! It be focuses. It be focuses.

It's a needle, it's fine. It be focuses is fire on me. Then we can't go of the floor, man! He loves a dog lover, shut up! You know, I'm good, I'm good because I'm good, yeah, don't worry about me yet, but maybe bring me back if I tie. We'll do, Isaac is still under the influence, seems like it. I am going to give Spritele a hammer, okay?

Like a little tinkering hammer. Right out. And say Spritele, um, you see that alarm clock over there? And I point to Isaac, time to ring that bell. Spritele flies right over to Isaac. Smacks him in the head with a hammer. Oh. Go ahead and roll a charisma saving throw.

16 or higher knocks Isaac out of it. Emily, do you want to roll this one? Yeah, why don't I? Isaac, you said I never gave you a... Mono, Isaac! Six. Okay, so here's still under the influence. Oh!

And like that. Hold on, okay, that's Spritals turn. That's my bonus action. For my action, it's a little selfish, but I'm gonna cure wounds myself. Right, is that? I have 16 hit points. Yeah, that's not selfish man We need you around after search turn that is Isaac's turn I was gonna fix me. I know it on Isaac's turn

Calhoun is gonna go. Yeah, I'll get a new year go ahead and kill the lady who killed singer and Took all the light out my life Healed, singer, and took off the light out of my life, think. And Isaac is going to rush up and take some stabs at Billy here. Okay. You love that wiver and more than Grimdung loves Billy. 1-2 to hits. That does hit.

My eyes say 21 with my face. 12 damage. Okay. Takes a second attack. Isaac, why don't you fucking hit like this when you're on the other side? Well, I study the blade and sometimes my studies come into more use than right-

Right, I'll hit harder. 26 to hit on the second one. He gets advantage on people that have already taken damage. Yeah, would have loved to see you use it on an enemy. Right, I'm just so mad right now. I love stinger. I just love stinger right now. I'm riding awesome, so advantage.

When you think about stinger, do you get warm inside? Honestly, yeah, babe. I didn't love killing him. Dude, what we had to do now. I don't know, right. Stinger had a great venom bladder, and we're preserving it. Don't worry. 11 damage on the second attack.

Okay. At the end of Isaac's turn, he is going to go ahead and spend two legendary actions to cast conjure volley. You see, he looks at you, Billy, and he goes, all right, Mole, if I can't hit you head on Let's see if I can hit you with a little spray I'm fucking you

What I'm sorry I'm sorry I said ew I know I'm not bleeding out but still What is you egg? He suffered a huge loss is this day He doesn't know what he's saying. He's going through a trauma You see he holds his hand out. I was just trying to be a fucking covert operative You see he um Clenches his fist and you see this like extra-dimensional portal opens up

And you see a volley of arrows shoots at it towards you. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Mm. That's gross even for me. Today's all about spray. I really need something interesting here. 18. Is this a save? Yeah.

Flash or genius? 20 free. Zirk shoots a couple arrows out of the sky. Suits, you are just going to take half of this then. Okay. Okay, so half damage, still 23 damage. Okay. Woo.

So that was two legendary actions after Isaac's turn. That is Hank's turn. Okay. You see, Rim Dong is still up, but is looking pretty fucked up. He's not, he got more fucked up by the fucking dynamite than anyone, because he's not as strong as the Y-burn or a Calhoun I think I'm just gonna hope that by not attacking like no one's attacked Grimdung All we've done is cut cast by the ball

He shouldn't be fighting. I trusted you. Okay, so actually I want to use I want to use my turn to just put my hand on Grimdung Shoulder like a buddy in a buddy comedy, and say, go to her, have her how you feel. He tries to cut your nap. And then I'm gonna attack Donovan. That is a 28 to hit. Yeah. That's a 19 to hit on the second attack. He's going to use Perry and add five to his AC so he blocks that one.

Whenever you say that, I'm picturing Perry as like a little assistant that he drags him front of him. I'm very nervous. A singer, so I can really use a friend right now. And you do see the new singer. We'll kill you too, Perry. You do see that he has a spoon, Hank. Oh no. No fucking way. Hank shrinks for a second, and then clutches Spoony inside his pocket and gets the courage to have laughter in. I'm gonna take my third attack.

That's a 24 to hit. 24 hits. Oh it does. He's only for one action, for one reaction. Okay. 34 damage. Sweet. And then I'm gonna use Unleashed Incarnation

and have Shank shove Isaac really hard against like a stalactite or something. Sure. I don't know. I'm like, what the fuck? Sweet, go ahead and make another charisma saving throw, guys. You need to 16 or higher. 17!

Yay! Wow, all it took was for me to be shoved to know what I'm doing. You fucking attacked me,, more masterfully than I've ever seen you fight. Bring that to the fucking enemies, huh? Where's that energy? Go get parry to what happens. The Wyverns dead? When did that happen?

Yeah, you did it. Me? Yeah, you were a real hero. After Hank's turn, Calhoun is going to take his last legendary action of the round to take a shot at Billy. Natural one. Yes!

Oh my God. But then that is Grim Dung's turn. Grim Dung? My fucking tits are still out. Weird, we're not going to go with that energy. Cannon, that's not happening. I need anything I can. Rim-Dong is going to rush towards Billy and go, you betrayed the Empire, but the worst thing of all is you betrayed my heart heart and he's gonna make an attack on you No, I wish you a betray more of your feelings. You're like our close book. I've been trying to read you for so long

Only a 12 to hit misses take the second attack 17 to hit on the second attack Billy the motions do what you really want I need to hit on the second attack. Does it hit because I've mishealed that for this whole face? It's not trying. It's like he's not trying. Billy, that's your turn. I'm telling you for the motions, do what you really want. I really want you and I to beat you together so that we can crush the rebellion and live under the eye together.

I think the first half was good. You're halfway there. I feel like I can win you back, Billy. Listen, what we really need is you and me. You're starting from two parts. Okay, we just need to listen to everything that the Lord's God says. You're really losing me. We can really feel the empire with the power,

that we can power the thumb of the empire to press down on the awakened. And make sure that they never rise up again. Does that make sense to you? Right. Needs, but I don't know, maybe not I should have turned it to you. There's still something, there's still good in you. See, I'm happy. There's still good in you. We're both trying to change each other.

You'll kill these people. We're both trying to change each other. So, I'm trying to promise, right? Okay, I'm sure we can get it right, aren't we? Okay, so I'm gonna shoot Calhoun. Yeah, I'm gonna see you. Yeah, I'm gonna see you. And I'm going to steady aim, sharp shooter.

Oh my fucking god. That misses. Okay, he dodges out of the way Yikes, okay, two crossbow bolts distracted by grimdung all up in your face You guys are fighting your own battle that is Caldram's turn takes another shot at you Billy Jesus Christ, I can't roll for shit natural five. I'm absolutely throwing that dice out a missus Gonna take a second shot Natural fucking one This battles getting pretty embarrassing for everyone is everyone in love

I don't know what's going on between you and Grimy, but you gotta see it through. I'm gonna give you the extra boost you need. And I'm going to load a healing bullet into my gun and fire it directly. Billy. Thank you. This is going to be my third level cure wound.

Shit. So you are going to have to get close to Billy. Cure wounds is touched. It's touched. Can I use Sprite? I I blessed the bullet and then I give it to Sprite. Okay, okay, okay, I go ahead and reel your dice for the cure wounds. Okay 18 thank you. Sorry, it's not more go get him or kill him. I don't know what you need right now If we could just like sit down have some chat about it. Maybe I'd have a better idea. Yeah, get a little banter going Maybe give him some pamphlets. I don't know. All right Calhoun sees this sprite come over no and heal

Billy Is going to once again cast conjure volley But that also hits Grimdung. Just, Grinade goes off in the area, hits Billy, Grimdung, and Spraydung. Go ahead and give me dexterity saving throws. I'll sit, fucking four, 10. Spraydung got a 19.

Grimdung and Billy are both hit by this hail of arrow fire. Sprydle is also gonna get nicked by it. Ugh. I think Tide Sprydle. 29 damage total. I'm down. Oh.

And then Sprydle takes 14 damage. Sprydle has one hit point. Oh, they have one hit point? ha, Spraydle has one hit point. Oh, they have one hit point? Yeah, wow, they have enough hit points. Wow, Spraydle's harder than I fucking thought they were. You see hail of arrows coming into you and Grimmie as Grimmdung swings on you, Billy. I look at him and I say, do you know my biggest regret?

Oh, what's that? It's that I missed fucking twice. On my last turn. And me, my biggest regret is trusting you. I give him the fucking finger. It's like, oh I'm trying to. You guys have to be a sequel. There's gotta be more.

In the wide shot, it looks like quasi-romantic, but I'm closer just telling each other to fuck off You guys both get shot and both drop Wow And Calhoun goes yeah, just gotta go with the numbers there. Sorry about that Grimdog You don't do enough damage to keep you up Well, in that case, you'd be a traitor in which kids I would still wanna kill him. So this is fine for me.

That is Isaac's turn. Isaac is going to go ahead and just take some cracks at Calhoun. Isaac hits on the first attack, misses on the second attack, Isaac does 10 damage. After Isaac, Calhoun is going to take his last legendary action. Seize Billy laid out. He's gonna go ahead and make an attack. He doesn't make it with advantage

because it's with a range weapon. That is a hit, but since it is a ranged attack, it is only one death saving failure. So it goes into Billy's side, Billy you have one death save fail. Hank, that is your turn. Since I still have haste, I'm gonna take one action to attack Calhoun. Okay. That is a 20 to hit. Hits. Nice. And that's 14 damage. Okay, and I'll unleash

Shank as well. That's a 19 to hit. Cool, and that is 16 damage on Calhoun. Another 16. Damn, okay. He's looking pretty fucked up at this point. Okay, and then I want to use my haste the action and scoot over to Grimdong, just getting Billy. You run over to Billy? Yes. So I'm going to try to stabilize her. OK. Go ahead and make a wisdom check, a medicine check, tenor high. I even though I don't really know how to do this,

I'm going to just take out Spoonie and kind of hold it to her neck to see if I can get a pulse You hear Isaac does a voice and goes yeah, just um do funky town just compressions Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh and her breath is kind of inconsistent and you do chest compressions and you get hurt going again. So I'm like stable. You're stable. Okay. On Grimdung's turn. Grimdung is gonna do a death saving throw. That's a fail.

Grimdung is dying. Okay. Billy, that is your turn. Billy, you do not need to roll a death saving throw for stabilized. That is Calhoun's turn. Calhoun is going to, you know, boy, he's steamed. Boy, he's steamed with you, Hank.

He's gonna bonus action cast in snaring strike. I'm gonna keep myself out of reach of that guy's arm there. That's a 29 to hit on the first attack and a 29 to hit on the first attack and a 29 to hit on the second attack 19 19 of course That is 44 damage total. Oh, it's not bad. Don't love it and go ahead and give me a strength saving throw. I would love to Oh, yeah, that is a that's a 28 you break free of the vines nothing can hold me back. I'm in funky town You break free of the vines. Nothing can hold me back. I'm in funky town.

Ah, the circuit that is your turn. All right, um, I see, Brave Illuck Henry breaking free of these vines. I see Billy down after having what I believe to be a scene of her confessing her love. Um, so you didn't see the middle fingers. So I emerge from my blue crystalists. Just covered in all sorts of skulls.

Over the goo. I cast a healing word at Billy to cast that guy. Yes! Oh, please! I thought I was gonna die, tell it, lame missing. I kiss a little beetle and it flies over to her and you're right in the room out. Oh, hey.

Oh, hey. Take me to a lookie down. And then I look at what this captain did to Spritele and I pull out my gun and I say, your wavering is never coming back and I just unload a clip on him. Oh hell yeah, you're doing quick dry yeehaw I can't because I use my bonus action, but I do get an extra D6 of damage sweet That's still gonna be a 26 to hit. Yeah, that'll do it. All right, so that's going to be a D6 plus a D10

Damn That's 11 damage 11 damage. Okay, this dude is looking fucked up, like less than a quarter of his health. Riddled with crossbow bolts, it's smoking still from the dynamite that went off like 30 seconds ago. It's been a long 30 seconds, I've lost everything. That's 14 healing points, though. Thank you!

Hopefully I can fucking hate. Sweet. The end of Zerks turn, he is going to take a shot at Yazirk. Uh-oh. Bet you forgot I had you marked, but glad you're back out here. God dammit. I see that you've put your Oakleys on. That is a 22 to hit.

It looks like a Oakleys to me. Since I'm no longer concealed, I don't think that I get the extra AC. Now you don't get covered. So yes, that does hit. Yikes. 26 damage with the Hunter's Mark. Okay, I'm still up, okay?

Oh, thanks. That's our stays out. Why won't you all go down? You're supposed to just be recruits. We're meeting a friend later. Why won't you all go down? You're supposed to just be recruits. We're meeting a friend later. That is Isaac's turn. Isaac will go ahead and take two cracks. Natural one on the first attack hits on the second attack. 17 damage on the second attack.

Good for you. After Isaac, that is Hank's turn. I'm gonna roll concentration to see if Hank is in a stupor now. I'm gonna roll concentration to see if Hank is in a stupor now. Oh, yeah, please go ahead and roll Come on, so 13 or higher con check. I can use flash of genius on this though. Okay. Oh wow It's going to be 16 Passes right? Yes, okay I take a swig from the venom bottle. So he's just gone. I have no words about it.

Oh, it's back. Wow, awesome. Okay, then I say to Calhoun, we're not recruits. We're fucking blades, motherfucker. Yeah, that's it. Attacking him, well, that was in 18 to hit. He's gonna use his parry and block it. Okay, got a second attack.

That's a 19 on the second one. Hits. 12 damage. Uh, Shanks gonna take a crack at him too. This is my last one. 24. Hits. 8 damage.

Okay. I'm also going to, uh, second win. Right on. Just kind of put my hands on my knees and huff and puff and get a little help back. Uh, he's gonna take some grinds another shot at sirk after hang Stern why That's a crit Like this guy can do eight damage to me That's 39 damage

Yeah, you guys he just hit sirk in the neck and it's her crops so fucking brutally. Oh my god That is Grimdung's turn Grimdung rolls a natural one He's dead. His tongue is dead Oh dear I'm crying! I'm crying! Oh dear.

It's really, really. I'm crying. Yeah, cry me. Everything. What? Oh my god. I'm sorry. I know you're dying, but can you articulate?

Yeah. A little more. Here. I reached into his mouth and sort of like clear a path for the words to come out a little bit easier. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him. I bit easier. I love Empire. I saw that coming. I really did. I really did.

You know what? I fucking put my boot in his face. Yeah, yeah. Go be with the fucking Empire because it's coming to join you. That was me. Grin Dog is fully fucking dead. Hehehe. Circus discovery news, things about himself. Billy, that's your turn. Okay. I'm not gonna use steady aim just yet. I'm gonna try to fucking hit him without a vantage. Cause Hank's right there on the mix. Come on baby, I think it's time to create.

12 plus 11, 23. 23 hits. Okay, so I'm going to sneak attack plus 11, 23. 23 heads. OK, so I'm going to sneak attack, but also bonus action, branding smite. OK. Oh, sorry. So six. 36 for my first attack.

Yes, Billy. What are you saying? You're going to... He had two HP. Ah! Ah! Ah! Finish him.

Oh my God! I'm gonna fucking throw his body on top of grimmies like I'm like shoveling coal into the forge and then be like well get those skins out babes it's time to sell! That's sweet. I'll say you run up to Calhoun. You grab him by the helm. You slam his head into the ground. You see his helm caves in. Blue flare as the armor crunches in on itself.

And he disappears. One of the vault keepers is dead. You guys all raise your skins. And so, Rachel. I actually cast, the only way I have to heal is heroism. I cast heroism so that for five, 10th HP, to bring Zerk back up. Oh! All right, we drink it or what?

I'm spraying Zerk with my fucking skin right now. I was about to fall gay or anything was there. And that's where we'll end our session Pee grimy all right, grimy. We knew it had to happen rip to a real one RIP just somebody who got a lot of credit for the reason Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can hear us talk more about this over in our Patreon, patreon.com slash natbot.

That's NADD.D.P.O.D. Wee! Don't sing, yes? Don't be good. Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Threw Black Halflings has a really fun new actual play called Outlaws and Obelisks. And Jasper, who you heard heard DM for us is a player Jeremy Cobb is DM. He's awesome

Connie from Transplaners on it Johnny Charles is doing the music and also playing on it and I heard there's like a bunch of cool guests coming up that's sick. Check it out please. I heard the same thing. I love obelisks I heard the same thing. I love obelisks. Talked in shapes easy. Any other plugs? Yeah, we started making new Jake and Amir episodes. So check it out. Oh.

They're over on YouTube. Jake and Amir is back. The Matrix is coming back. 2000s are here to stay. It really are. I would love to plug some stuff from our PO box, if that's all right. Yeah.

Some fun little treats in there for good boys and girls, which we are. Tyler from the band Serious Bright, sent us copies of their record Give Me Time, which honestly feels perfect for Fia and the Time Devil. Yeah. Through that on a record player. Oh my gosh.

Give me the time. I haven't listened to it yet, but that's God-a-d-e. That was it. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Kira W over at cryptid dice crafts and some custom tubes of dice as well as some wax D20s for creating envelopes seals. That is incredible.

I love envelopes. Yeah, I love seals. I'm going to use it to address my loyal subjects. Next time I send a decree Let's see a Laura C from honey bubbles soap look them up on Etsy Made us some custom band of boobs inspired soaps. Oh, I've been watching myself with them Oh, I have two one looks like a birthday cake and it smells really good. That's incredible Yeah, next time we do a live show we're gonna be smelling right Please don't smell it. Yeah, we're gonna be smelling like asked by the end of the show but at the beginning we'll

smell dead. You can smell me. Ella from Ireland sent us a beautiful watercolor drawing of the band of boobs and asked that we wish their friend Alana are a happy 18th birthday. Happy birthday. Happy 18th birthday. You did it. Head on over to the pub.

Straight Stephen, aka Mungo Bumble root. Send us a game that they made called Who's Playing the Healer? It's a micro game where a group of murder hobos are making a new character and no one wants to be the healer. It's really fun. I think everyone should multi-class to have some heal. I agree. Soapy sent us a pair of actual pins and as glasses Cool, my nose is too big for them. Yeah, otherwise they're very cool

You can check out their TikTok at rats loose juiced for lots of nad pod and d20 cosplays and last But certainly not least Keegan queen aka Keegan X sent us two indie RPGs that they made. Fanta about survivors of a meteor striking earth, and in extremist about a coven of necromanctic death wishes, fighting off Imperial invasion. They both sound sick as hell, thank you so much Kegan X. And that is the PO box. Sweet guys. And then the other thing we have to plug is we're gonna be doing a live show. Everybody.

That's mella. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Head gum is taken over the Grammar C theater in October. New York City, baby. In New York City. Tickets are going on sale. I believe the 22nd Jake. Is that true? The 22nd. That's right. Okay, so be on the look at the 22nd. Where can people go to buy tickets, Jake? Headgum? They can go to headgum.com slash live.

That's probably the most reliable link. There's also going to be a grammar see link. We'll throw it up on our Twitter and our Instagram. We'll throw it up on our social media and everything. But yeah. And com.com slash live, you can definitely get tickets. We've had this happen before where we have not gotten to announce it on the show and a show has sold out very fast.

So we want to make sure we get it out to our non-social media savvy people. That's right. Because I feel you, honestly, the real nice. I be on the lookout though on the 20 seconds. Just the pod, just the pod fans. Yes, that's it. Take us go on sale. Pure pod.

The RSS holdings. And what is the exact date of the show? It is Friday, October 22nd. Easy to remember. 22nd of September, tickets go on sale. 22nd of October, you're going to the Grand Procedede Theater. Wow. That's a lot of shoes for two crew.

You gotta be vaccinated. That's a ticker. What? Two attend. Two jabs. Yes, so we will. What is 10, which is what October is? What is 10, but two away from two?

That's right. What is 10 may never two, right? Thank you. I close. But rises to harder and to her. Thank you all so much for listening. I'll be back next week with another episode. You can follow us on social media.

Then we may remain out here. Zat's teacher,miak called the Skulls' All Adios for Assembly and Atchikervant's Jake and you can tune about the show using hashtag NADPOD that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are the youth in the nation, we are the youth in the nation. It's the end of the show everyone and you know what that means. It's time to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders starting with Brad D. Jeffree S. Haldor Frostback, Steel Breaker, and Matt M. Grimdung and Billy's biggest fans. Sadly the relationship ended before they could even agree on a ship name. Everyone was fighting for Grilly, except Matt M, who was really hot on

Bremdong. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, and Dylan B. The B-Dow Bandits! Despite their cool name, this band of outlaws was instantly thrown off their mounts halfway through their first ever bank heist. Bito, luck next time gang. Danielle the Dasterly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, Scott D, and Danny P. Sailors who taught Henry the tradition of pouring a drink before departing. Of course, Henry wasn't invited to this, but he watched the Sailors do it through a window and thought it looked pretty cool. Mixologist Michael McD, Vincent W, Victor T. Boundore's boy, and Andrew B, a counting

crows cover band hired by Zirk to serenade Grimdung and Billy. Sadly, they went from singing accidentally in love to accidentally injured by a huge folly of arrows. Justin I, Regnar Ferredwen, TJM the Noembarbarian, Alana M, and Traleigh the Cray Faye, employees at Endotera's most popular tacos, but Bito Burrito. All of them are secretly members of the awakened resistance and never charge extra for guac.

Jared E, Austin Bonesaw MR. Damn y'all are! Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald and Gage M. Dragons who got confused when Donovan told them to catch them all and spent the entire day laying rodent traps around the castle. They didn't end up catching any but they were sent to the dungeon for their insolence. Welcome to the Resistance, I guess! Philbert the Fabulous Richard X Machina Michael L.

Trash the Traveler and Sir Carl, fashion bloggers who are raving about Zerks' new clogs. Richard X Machina writes that despite the mysterious Lix stains, they're this season's Hutt's new look. Jory S. Dana G. Calum L. And Jack L. The Bony Wugs.

These cute zombie frogs live in a swamp on the opposite end of Endotera, which is probably for the best because they taste delicious and shank would not be able to resist. Flulliswell, Sam L, Nicholas C, and Samuel B, Vegan Wyverns, after seeing the cruel farming practices of beetles, these Wyverns preferred to hunt beyond beetles, which are summoned constructs made of pea protein. Mike H. Oudishimulek the baby bronze dragon. Matthew E.

Coln B. And Adam G. Bud Hunters. Instead of blood magic, they pour a bud light out in turn its golden carbonation into deadly smites. Megan S. Nibbadger. Panama James. And Cummins the Bard.

A group of covert operatives that almost got Billy's shitty Bito assignment, but instead were assigned to be supermodels in a runway show for Lord's Site, and have had to wear glamorous gowns, attend fashion parties, and drink champagne like every day for a year! Bless their hearts for their sacrifice! Captain sigil, Grace G, Drew Nasty, Sisi Lulu, and Barnes & Aitor, Endo Taren Stoats, who would have been

incredible mounts to fight against Captain Calhoun, except that Murph won't let them be cannon. Michelle O, Timmy R, Jonathan W, the Crock-Waring Warrior, Lucas B, and Aaron S. Clog cobblers who've clocked Zerks new clogs and are considering cobbling some copycat clogs. It's Kevin, run down Johnny's pubic mound, New York, Steven C and KJ, the makers of Psychic Blink, a hat you wear when you're psychically linked to your wiver, but still want a little privacy sometime.

Michael M. Mike K. Joy T. Nick W. and Taylor A. Grimdung's boys who told him to just go for it, and by it they mean convinces crushed to love the empire. Asmi M. Kelsi C. Kazamere the all-knowing. Big beard of the mad and Eric McD. Dynamite dealers who are sick of arcane, trickster hands robbing them. And Oteris riddled with them. Giant monsters on the horizon.

Thraft, burly tea, j-dragon born, jar of the unapropro and Cody B, the Bud Hunters. Friends of Isaacs whose mission is to seek out the dankest weed possible. Sadly marijuana is not native in Endotera, and Isaac doesn't have the heart to tell them they've been smoking oregano for over a thousand years. L.M.D. the San Drain, Ben A. Feldonis and Dave H. Socialite Zombies who commissioned forged metal gowns from Billy for an upcoming gala. She charged them an arm and a leg for it, an arm and a leg of course being the names of banknotes in the endotarine currency system, but also she did steal their appendages. Koala Bear, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, and Dustin S, Wyvern Knights who share a psychic

bond with their mounts. This makes them nearly unstoppable in battle, but also able to go on beater burger runs without ever leaving the couch. Connor F, the Time Walker, two left eyes, and DPC is awesome! The owners of five ghouls, beados and fries, one of Endotera's most popular burger chains.

They are currently preparing for war against their oldest and most bitter rival, Skeleton and Out. Aston S. Player, the bug, Blair Barbarian, a tin and out. Aston S. Player the bug, player, barbarian. Pork chop. Chanel M.

And Valacy Raptor. The bladder latch. These rowdy zombies never leave home without a wine skin full of noxious liquor. They also do pee quite a lot so the nicknames really fire in on all cylinders. Vanette F. Pat L. Achuta A. Lauren H. And David M. Competitors who partake in the annual Bido Burger Contest to see who can

take down the most Bido burgers. So far the record holder is Lauren H. with one half. That's right, they're big burgers. Elias Hawthorne. Alex H. The eldest Barry. Evan V, Ryan S, and the Bone Duster. Hank's old shipmates who can assure you that getting rip-roaring drunk during the day they put out to see was only a tradition for Hank who did that alone. Robert Crisp, Idrassel, Brently C, Micah B, Ploups, and Carly Anne, Isaac's friends who have actually

not even noticed that he's left, huh? Look at that. Laurie P, Seth AJ, Spam gaming the not-so-skilled gamer, Connor Savage, and Christopher J, Pebble Pot. Grimdung's roommate who all told him to follow his heart and tell the girl how he feels, which he did when he said he loved the Empire. Gut punch for all those grim stone, grimdung stands out there. Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Remington CD, Amber Dexterous, and Thrill of the Fright. Wyvern trainers who train Stinger but but not to do this thinging thing. They think that's messed up.

They just taught Stinger how to fetch. Sullivan H. Trup Hup-Drupper Sidney T. Alex C. Chessie D. L. R. The Element God and Lindsay W. Cave Delvers and Endotera, who happily got the day off when they discovered their stock pile of explosives had been raided. In retrospect, they should have said something. Champ Wilde, Valin, Sprite Pepsi, Carlin Sea, Anthony S, and Jake.

These fine folks run a rare clothing and armor store and have just pasted a portrait of Zirk in the shop's window to announce that he's not allowed to enter after repeated, licking offensive. Sorry, Zirk, you be. Sessie A. Matthew J. T-R-I-P. Michael S. the Bone Duster. And Noah. The people who took Brimstone, Billy's, how to flirt class and have gotten themselves into equally tumultuous will they want their relationships. It works too well!

Estelle, Baron S. Swastions romance partner from the Baronies, Mr. Dude's Guy, conflicted DM and Justin LB. DJs and Endotera, who remix Bito noises to create a sound they call Bito Beats. It does super well with the farm crowd and literally no one else cares. Dandy, Jennifer R, Clifton A, Richard G, M, Barber and Marcos P, dry cleaners who specialize in removing saliva stains from cloaks, Hank took his cloak in and they couldn't do a thing for it so the stain is confirmed, something else. Pop-K-Lish, Gabrielle M, learns the balance druid, Dakota JP,

Poggos, the self-proclaimed, fake prince, and Tracy P, the Crick Elf Librarian, Bito writers in the Bito rodeo called Wild People. The idea is how long can you stay on the back of a bucking beetle while also having to suffer listening through their unfortunate call. Andy E. Brett D. Scrimpy Bogpipe. Holly. Anthony A. and Leah C. A classic pop rock sex tech that is working on an original song for the soon to be written, grimdung, and billy feature. The film may not have a happy ending, but the song is going to be a happy go lucky jam!

And finally, Abigail, Egg Infinitum, Sloth King 777, Chungaldown Cal, Commodore Galaxy, and Russell H. Campers, who sleep and hamm hammocks spun by Inget the metallic spider, most comfortable night sleep ever, plus their hammock gets his flies. It's perfect! And that's it. That's all that wraps up a nice bow on the top of our sweet, perfect scrumptious little council of elders. Thank you all. We love you so much. Goodbye, sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast. Thank you all, we love you so much. Goodbye, Sweeties.

That was a Hitgun Podcast.