Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 35: Familiar

Episode Date: September 24, 2021

Fia, Krissy, and Johnny climb a necromancer's tower and attempt to take out the second Vault Keeper! Krissy obsesses about chips, Johnny shares his hair magic, and Fia receives some disturbing news about Bukvar. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Music / Sound Effects Include: "A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford. "Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford. "Goblin Dirigible" by Emily Axford. "A Risky Gamble" by Emily Axford. "The Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford. "Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford. "Montgomery Manor" by Emily Axford.  "Alone" by Emily Axford. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody. Hey! Elder Morn, everybody. Hey! I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz, playing two dorks who love spoons and forks, Henry Hawkfish and Orr. A run-bound jungle. Oh, I didn't do fun with balls of mine. Double intro. Yeah, that's right.

And then, of course, Emily Axford. Coming of age to battle a mage, for your bogeynya. Yeah. Perfect. What a relief. Only the one character though, wow. Okay, looking gorgeous and hot from the forward.

Yeah. Fuck. Don't brimst my head. I hate when you fucking, yeah, you like last minute do it better than me when I prepare. Yeah, you hate it, you hate it. How do you feel going on? It's not on the follow.

And then of course, called on Tanner. Beard of crystal with a sword in hand, drinking from a muggy knee, understand. If you want to do a heist, I've got your plan. It's Chrissy McDuff, I'm the outside man. Hi, I'm Circus here too, somewhere. Hi, Yoh. Really stuck the landing.

Perfect. Thank you. Thank you. You look beautiful, I love you. Sweet guys, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time, Billy Hank and Zirk infiltrated a Beto farm and ambushed Captain Donovan Calhoun, the leader of the dragons. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Calhoun, the leader of the dragons,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Mm-hmm. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, how do you spell it, boy? Oh, I, and maybe, like, a little, and on the end, oh, I would suggest it's a boy. I guess it's just a boy after the end. I like the end really conveys what it sounds like to me. You don't hear it, but when I see it, I'm like, that is right. Yeah, it's grating to look at it.

That's where the more like orgasmic ones is the end gets added on the ends. There's, I'm like, that is right. Yeah, it's grating to look at that. That's where the more like orgasmic ones is the end gets added on the ends. There's no such thing. Am I head, am I head a beto mating call is very serious though. It's just like, oink, oink. It's like one pop-up would ask a question. Really?

Oink, oink. Oink. That's how you know they're ready to go. So I will use the rest of this recap to remind everyone the stakes of the mission. There is a vault below Endo Castle that holds the knowledge of Old Zoboldar that the Awakened want to use to inspire a revolution against the Lord's side. Arena is working on the inside, together in tell and turn off the main security system while two teams take out the Vault Keepers.

The first one is down, but now Fiya, Chrissy and Run Down Johnny are responsible for taking out the other. They've just climbed over the wall to enter the Endocassel District and have begun heading towards the Wizard's Tower of the Vault Keeper that they've been tasked with assassinating and that's where we are now. Great. We did have time to duck in and take a quick short rest though, right? Yes, certainly. Well, you guys have a little time to patch up your wounds. Not bad.

All right. So, we are going to cut over to the party of Fia, rundown Johnny and Chrissy. I'm going to say it's not going to be that hard for you guys to get to this tower. You've already kind of done the hard part. The tower is a little bit isolated from the rest of the camp, but go ahead and give me a group stealth check. If two out of three of you pass, then you will make it there without incident. Otherwise, we're gonna do an encounter check. But I get a advantage because of my goal. You get advantage. So we're gonna say,

we're gonna put this at a DC 14 for the passive perception of like the night. But I'll be a 30. Jesus, for Christ's sake. Fia cuddles her pathetic 16 and decides to still feel proud of it. Fia, you keep stepping on me. I'm down here.

Sorry, I'm wearing high heels. It's tough for Johnny to walk anywhere without like snapping his fingers, but he was able to do it. He rolled a third. A third, good God. We gotta wrap up your fingers, Johnny. Yeah, somehow Johnny's clicks sound like far off birds. If anything, it's just distracting. Yeah, he keeps being like, off birds. If anything, it's just distracting. Yeah, you keep being like the birds.

You think someone, it sounds like backup coming for the other birds. Holding my dress and playing at the fucking trees. I know you're coming for us. Chrissy mimics the birds just to make you go even a step further. So you guys are heading towards this wizard's tower and let me tell you a little bit about what you would know About this vault keeper I wouldn't know this. I'm alone for the you wouldn't know, but I would say it's putting it Yeah, Chrissy and I'm snapping it to it down Johnny have definitely

Explained this to you and I will say Glorick probably did as well. Okay, so from what you guys know about this wizard Who goes by the name Athachor from the intel that you've gathered is that he's someone very important but disconnected from sort of the politics of the castle. That's why his tower is like a little bit away from the castle itself. One of the main things that he is responsible for

are these mass raise undead rituals called risings. Mass risings happen every few years and they are what maintains the population of Endotera. So he is like Endotera's mommy. Endotera's mommy? That's a very weird way to look at it. Alright, we call him Mathachor. Yeah, Mama Mathachor. So basically, necromancers and scientists use the remains of dead citizens to essentially create new people. It's a combination of kind of a raised dead end to reincarnate spell, but the memories

are wiped, so it's a new person every time. Wow. A reboot. A reboot. The people have, it's almost, it's like the way reincarnation works in elder mourn, in like the mortal realm, where it's like using the same kind of soul, a new person is born.

The people have free will, but when they are brought back in a place like this near Endo Castle, they're usually indoctrinated right away. I- I- I- I turn to them and I say, I've actually read books about necromancers. They're the bad boys of the weezers. Oh, wow. They do wear leather jackets like Johnny's. And I'm the bad boy of us. Are you a necromancer?

No, just the bad boy of us. Mr. Johnny, are you a necromancer? No, just a bad boy. Honestly, he's kind of aping their style a bit. We've had conversations about this. No, no, no, no. He needed that kind of answer in a drag race to get the... ...the jacket. Okay, via the cast Phantom Steed and Summon's a car. I feel like this jacket...

What the fuck is that? Oh my God. I'm getting myself a fucking leather jacket Yes, I will meet Arena, we're in a fucking leather jacket, we're the fucking car I'm sorry, I can't go down that road with you I'm a denim boy I'm a denim boy through and through Johnny slides across the hood Okay, so there is no car here

Just to be clear to everyone Where did it go? It's gone It disappeared! You see the hand of God comes down and uses an eraser. It's the face of it. Oh, sweet elder, we've sinned against you. So, Atthocorp is the head researcher.

That's like in charge of these like, risings and is trying to work on a way to get around free will, essentially, because some of the people who were indoctrinated end up breaking away. Like it's kind of up to Chrissy and rundown Johnny depending on their backgrounds, if they like broke away from something like this or if they were always,

or if they've been themselves for a long time and are free thinkers from like before all of this. I've been like this for a long time. That's why I've been wearing the leather jacket since way before that fucking I The train came around at the same time Could have been parallel thinking feels eyes dart back and forth between mr. Johnny mr.

Chrissy and then they settled trusting Leon Hey, you should trust me. I used to be a dragune actually What really hey long ago? That's why I grew this beard as a disguise. So nobody can recognize me when I return. I'm asking a question. How long does it take to grow a crystal beard? Does it grow at the rate of hair? I'm a very hairy individual. So it grows a bit quicker than others might, but it's been a couple hundred years.

Okay, good for you. Thank you. Hard to work pays off. So the empire obviously wants to find a way to kind of get around the fact that the people kind of come to life with free will, but to bring people back as like constructs or mind-less zombies, they don't really contribute to society or help advance it. So ATHICOR's goal is to kind of have his cake and eat it too. So he's like the complex machine that are you of a humanoid, but without the free will. Exactly.

And like I said, he's kind of one of the few people that is important enough to be left to do his own thing. The good part about that is that his tower is not constantly surrounded by guards. He's kind of off on his own. The bad part about it is that he's a wizard and he set up a ton of tricks and traps and no one has ever to your knowledge successfully entered his tower without being invited by him first. Okay, so I look to Mr. Johnny, Mr. Chrissy and I say like, okay, there's a lot of Tricks and traps do either of you have like this to detect traps or to anticipate what sort of like This may maybe fall our footsteps. I usually just

tiptoe Okay, yeah, and I just kind of follow right behind Chrissy and if he slips or if he falls, that's kind of how I know, oh yeah, if I get stabbed or if like a big, gay teen swings down and chops off one of my crystals, that's how Johnny knows that it's a bad root. Okay, so our first. Chrissy goes first. That's kind of the strategy. Okay, Chrissy first.

Chrissy slips in first. I look at the fill-up fill up and think okay Chrissy sounds best. Yeah. Chrissy knows best. Sweet. So you guys successfully have snuck through the camp and you guys make it to a crooked tower that sprouts out from the cave wall. May I actually ask a question as for walking through? Sure. I kind of wanted to do like a little detect magic to see if I felt, because I'm connected with Arena. Uh-huh.

And I'm like so curious, because her magic in the dream, she expressed concern about it. And so I'm like kind of trying to see if there's like any evidence of magic she might have worked. And also maybe if there's any evidence of bookfarer or fucking Maksora. Go ahead and give me an Arcona check. I turn to Philip and I say, do you want to fly around

and help me on this one? Or should I do it by myself? To look for that nerd bookfarer? Yes. OK, I do like almost like a football quarterback throw a fill up and he like World's like a torpedo, but then like just like poof cincha flying like a book rad Yeah, Chrissy that books making fun of you. It's clearly doing like a fucked up Chrissy impression, you know, that's not how I flip Oh, it's a Philip thing. That's not how I flip

My flip is a graceful. 27. 27. Good Lord. 19 on the dice. Fiya, you remember talking to Glorg and even talking to these guys that Arena is embedded in the castle itself.

And she's not going to go around showing her magic to anyone. Okay. But I will say that with a detect magic and with that high of an arcana check, you sense Bookfar's magic coming from the Wizard's Tower that you're heading towards. From the fucking Wizard's Tower. That fucking necromancer, I'm gonna fucking rip his leather jacket in half. He's trying to turn my book far into a mindless drone Will you have more books? Yes, I am which but a bit of a librarian. Yeah, I have a ton of fucking friends. Didn't you know that way?

Yeah, I take out Volk who I haven't taken out in a while and just like get me light I like this one. Give it a little guy. Come here. Oh, he's biting me. Sharp little teeth. I also have either of you or fans of Miroslav the Mesmer. No, never heard of you. Did they do a history check? Sure, yeah, go ahead.

History check with a guest disappointed because someone would have had to have traveled to Endo Terra and left behind It's not impossible. It's not impossible. Johnny got a four. Okay. Ah That's gonna be a six. I sure way they add you unfortunately have not heard of mirrors love the mesmer Okay, actually let's take a long rest and I will read his all about To you don't want that man to talk to me so anyway, so you guys, as you approach this tower, and you do sense some of Bookfars magic coming from it,

you see that it is built of stone, it's tall. It's like 200 feet tall. It's even kind of taller than the castle walls. It's just like kind of so far back that you can't see it from the other side. You see that there's a long spire at the top and as far as weighs in you see a door, just a front door with like a little archway like right at the front presumably leads to the first

floor. You see a few windows letting out fog about 75 feet up looks like a foggy room and then at the top, like 200 feet up, you see circular windows covered in glass, like 360, and that presumably would give someone view of kind of the entire endocassal district, and those windows are pitch black. And how far up are those? Those, the windows that are black are 200 feet up. The ones with smoke coming out of them are 75 feet up. And then there's a door that's just the doorway to the tower.

It looks like he burned his chips. What? What does that look like? The black smoke coming out of the window. He's burned his chips. You think he's making... You think he cooked chips? You fucking moron. You wanna cook chips?

You wanna cook chips? You wanna cook chips? Why would he cook chips? Oh, you never had chips. You wanna cook chips? You wanna cook chips? You wanna cook chips? You wanna cook chips? You never had chips, you never got a craving for chips. Phillip, fuck him up, he makes no sense. Sorry, Chrissy, I'm with the book on this one. Damn. Fiya, you can sense, since Phillip's your new familiar,

you sense that he is secretly scared of Chrissy, and he gets behind Johnny and goes, yeah dude, hold me back. Hold me back. Chrissy pulls out a big bag scared of Chrissy and he gets behind Johnny and goes, yeah dude hold me back. Alright, hold me back. Chrissy pulls out a big bag that says Chrissy's chips and then just starts eating them. It says, Mordefurmi I guess. Fuck you.

I guess as we approach I keep my detect magic going. Okay Fiat, so you have detect magic up. It's gonna last for 10 minutes. What are you guys doing? Tell you what, first things first, everybody put your heads together. Just I got something that I kind of want to do, alright? Okay, you thrust her hard forehead forward. Oh, yeah. I should be a second player. Yeah, but I'm not a ball. Give me one of those. Oh, that's great. Okay, so now everybody's heads are in this circle. Johnny's gonna kind of use one of his

psionic blades, which is a switchblade comb, comb all of our hair together, and I've cast psychic whispers, so now all of us can communicate telepathically. Whoa. That's I love it. I fucking love that. That is so funny. It tickles. I don't usually let anybody touch my hair, but now everybody gets a little bit of it. Do we have that way?

I think that Fia now has some of Johnny's grease in her hair. So she has a little grease on her palm for the right now. Oh, you got a little bump there. It's the psychic gel. That's what it is. Yeah, you guys, little bump there. It's the psychic gel, that's what it is. Yeah, you guys, it's weird, it's like, it doesn't come from your head,

it comes from the top of your head where your hair follicles are. As you hear it. I don't know how you comb back the crystals, but you do, it's great. You know my baby bangs really look good with this look. Oh yeah, nice, they're sticking straight up. Yeah, you did a bang up job.

Hey. Okay, so we can telepathically communicate. Yeah, you did a bang up job. Ha ha ha. Hey. Okay, so we can telepathically communicate. So should we just case this fucking place? Yeah, we could try to all peek in through a couple windows and see, get a sense of what's going on in there. Mm, because climbing is going to be athletic, so I stand a good chance of being able to do this. Shall we all take a window and scout?

Okay, let's do it. Sweet, so there's only, so on this side, on the main side, you see one window, 75 feet up, and then there's the top of the tower, which is all like, looks pretty protected and is all like blackened. Right, so we probably can't get up to the blackened window, but, Thia, if you wanted to climb up

and check out the baking window, see what's burning in there. Yeah, I think I don't want to use like the mentioned order, anything like that right now. So I think I'm just going to try and climb up to see what's in this smoke-below-wing window. Sweet, I'll give you the help action with a little bit of a boost.

Sweet. Thank you. Fia, go ahead and give me an athletics check with advantage as Chrissy gives you a boost. An 18 and a 19 plus my D4, because I have come of age. Yes. 30. What's up, 30s?

Fia, you scramble up, Johnny and Chrissy, she looks like a spider. Wow, while I'm doing it, I'm like, I thought I gave up on my spider walk spell. It almost looks like she's dislocating her hips and her shoulder as she climbs up. She gets up so fast. It's got to be all the push ups. And Fiya, you get to the top and um, or not to the top, you get to the 75 foot mark, you put your hands on the window ledge and you look over and all you see is fog. Can I sniff the fog to see what is making it? Oh, you still have detect magic going. This fog is absolutely 100% magical and it's not chips. Go ahead and give me an arcana check.

It's kind of a combination of like two types of magic. Vanty-von. Okay. I shout loudly. It's not chips. Yeah, we already knew that. Is it magic chips? All right, we are psychically connected.

I was doing it as a joke, but now since we're psychically connected, I am going to shout it in our heads. Okay. Okay, the fog is two schools of magic, conjuration and illusion. I eat my head because we can talk to each other and fly like this.

I'm like, should I just climb in this fucking window? Oh, you've got a loud brain. Sorry, I have a hard time with my volume. Sorry, it's a good idea, it's worth shouting. Okay, yeah, wait, let me climb up this other window and see if, you know, if they look out across each other, we could do it at the same time, right? Okay.

So, yeah, Johnny, you go around, there's only one window on this side, 75 feet up, but you go around and basically like a mirror image, there's a window exactly 75 feet up with smoke billowing out of it. Okay, yeah, can I go, I want to go inspect that one. Go ahead and give me an ethics check. Alright, I got a 17. 17 I'll do it.

So you're not quite as quick as Fia, but John. But who is? No one's around to see it. You're on the other side of the tower. Johnny, you climb up and you see the same thing. You see just dense, dense fog. And you guys are communicating through your head so you guys can hear each other. Okay, to everyone I kind of say should I just fucking thrust a mage hand in there?

Just kind of oh, we go around. Is this a crazy plan? Wait, see if you can find like an oven mitt so you can pull the chips out. It's not fucking chips. Hey, down you don't know if they're short of chips. I can't open it so you can pull the chips out. It's not fucking chips dude. Play down you don't know if you're doing chips. I'm about chips. This guy's obsessed with chips. I don't know, I got a feeling it's gonna end up

being a chip in there somehow. If you had some chips, you'd be obsessed with chips too. You know, we also could send the fork in. What? Do you want me to case the ground and case things go south? I think so, yeah. Alright, so we got two windows in a door, right?

Let's, that's three points of contact. Alright, I'm gonna poke my head in. Sweet, Chrissy, you do a lap around the building. You see, Johnny hanging on the windowsill on the one side, Fias on the other side. You go over this door. You know what, fuck me? I'm going to send mr I'm going to send Philip down to help Chrissy in case he runs into something I can cast a spell for Philip Oh great. This will be good in case I need to look up the definition of a world as if you could even read you fucking asshole

Of course I can read I've got crystal eyeglasses. They're very cute Chrissy you get to the front door and you go to push it. Go ahead and give me an insight check. Eleven. It is locked. And it doesn't seem like it doesn't have any give. It's not like a lock where you feel like something's catching. It's like you're, you know, a pretty strong burly dude.

You're trying to open it. It's giving you nothing. Well, Akatane, Jimmy, it's open. It's like you're, you know, a pretty strong burly dude, you're trying to open it, it's giving you nothing. Well, Akatanae and Jimmy are open. Do it, yeah. Okay. Yes. Chrissy pulls out like a very nice, like, intricate set of crystal thieves tools from his beard. And then just jams it in the door on ceremoniously.

Sweet. As you take out your thieves tools, just be cool, Philip, and go to kind of Jimmy the lock. You see that the door is sealed completely, and there's no keyhole or anything. There's nowhere for you to even mess with the lock. If only to cause a distraction for the other two, I will do my best, uh, Captain Donovan impression. Okay, great. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Valtkeeper to Valtkeeper. Got some stuff to discuss. This is on the calendar. That's actually really good, man. I've been working on it for like 200 years. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage. 17. I'm listening to here that our Peter-Patterer feet coming down.

No Peter-Patterer feet. I brought some beetles. Don't we get our beetles and chips? Oh, obsessed. What is the chip thing, Johnny? What? You're just starting talking about them today. You suddenly hear a...

At the door, as if something was dispelled, and you hear it... Kshh! Opens up a little bit, as if to kind of invite you in. Alright, ground floor is going in. Okay. I am going to use my disguise kit, which I get as part of my mastermind background, and I will try my best to make myself look like Donovan. Which should be easy because he wears armor. So I just put on some stills and a bucket hat and look like Donovan. I'm also going to send Phil up in with him. Phil up, go under his arm,

like a good book. And you just communicate with us every single turn and passage you walk around, you tell us what they are. We're, you know, we'll find you. We're like the man in the van, but where are the people hanging from the tower? And I'm not tired at all. Chrissy, you open up the door and you see that you are in a dark circular room with no windows.

It's less like a foyer, where you would like welcome somebody, like where you typically would like enter a house and it's more like a foyer, where you would like welcome somebody, like where you typically would like enter a house, and it's more like a basement. It's pretty obvious that this dude isn't trying to impress anyone here. You see that there are unlit torches on the wall, as well as dozens of unmarked crates. You also see that there is another doorway. You see the figure that seems to have opened the door is some sort of spirit in a black cloak that's floating,

almost like an unseen servant that is wearing a cloak so you can see where it is. You just hear like a... Like wind as it stares at you. I want to say Gregory, right? I want to the spirit. like a... like wind as it stares at you. I want to say Gregory, right? Point to the spirit. You see the spirit nods and then goes and floats through

the door. Does not open the door, but goes right through it. I can wait here if you want to proceed through the window so we can kind of attack from both sides or I can keep going. I'm thinking it's possible that this necromancer is all the way upstairs, I'm surprised. True, true. Yeah, I mean if you could keep on going until you find the source of that smoke, we turn

the smoke off, we can jump right in. Yeah. If that's possible, that's true. It could be on a separate level yeah I think this is a good chance yeah now I'm looking for Philip I can kind of help you out of things goals strange alright alright I guess I'll inspect this next door sweet actually I want to casually glance at these crates as I'm walking past go ahead and give me an investigation or a perception check. I do my best, Johnny Impression. To look real cool, as I look at this creates.

Yeah. Hey, how are you doing? Creates. It's plus zero. That's a straight 12. Straight 12. Okay. Really good.

You can open them up if you want, but right now they kind of just look like nondescript crates. I feel like I'm on a reconnaissance at this moment, so I'm gonna go ahead and open a crate. I will use Slythafan to try and do it seretitiously. Okay, so you quietly crack open one of the cases, and you feel a chill as it opens up. There's like a cold spell going on in here, like it is essentially a magical freezer. For those in chips.

And there are body parts inside. Oh, not chips! You guys hear that screaming in your head? He finally knows. I know, I was gonna say we've known for a while. Yeah, mission accomplished, I guess. I believe we found some of the raw goods being used to create the new citizens of Indo Terra.

I'll take a hand. Okay, yeah, if you grab a frozen zombie hand. Yeah, to help you eat chips. Hehehehe. Keeps my drinks cool. Oh, like a koozie. Exactly. A kareepikoozie.

Um, alright, with my kareepikoozie in hand, I am going to proceed to the back door. Sweet, you go to the back door. Um, you open it, it opens without incident. Also fog coming out of this. Thick, thick fog. All right, it's fog all around. All right, so we're all fucking,

we're all staring at the city fog. The city of the fog dogs. I don't know how you all feel, but I'm kind of like, let's fucking get in, I think. Okay, let's proceed. Okay, I think I'm going to stealth into this room. Tell me how you enter the window. I think I want to kind of like roll in and land right

at like the bottom of the window. Okay, Fiya, you roll in and go to grab the edge. Johnny and Fiya both give me dexterity saving throws. As Johnny, you see Fiya rolls out of your window on the other side and crashes into you. You guys both start to fall and try to catch the side of the window here. Ah, okay.

It was really bad. How do you in? I'm out. Four. Four. Oh yeah, Jesus Christ. Okay, let me see if I can do anything. Can I re-roll the saving throw?

Can't you teleport? I don't know if that would help. You guys are- Yeah, I will just mistaste that. No, you don't get to, you fall faster than 70 feet in like around. This is like a surprise. All right, yeah. Johnny Rol, shout out to the two crew. That is a, oh no, it's in 11 total.

Fiya accidentally rolled and tackles Johnny. Both of you guys fall out the window. 75 feet for Shit 21 damage. I Johnny is so fucking hurt. Oh You guys crash into the ground. Okay, uh, can we take a short rest? Yeah, take a fucking short rest. Yeah, you guys can take a short rest. I guess that's time. I'll say Johnny, go ahead and give me a perception check with disadvantage to see if you saw anything as Fiya traveled through. I fucking crit. That's a nat 20, but I have to roll again. Yeah. Oh

Why oh my god and I rolled a nat one All right, yeah, you didn't see shit you just saw foot coming out here I don't fucking care. This is gonna be boring if I don't get the fucking get in there Let's just fucking go in where mr. Chris is take a short rest get our little fucking hit points back And then going to this fucking fog place Yeah, I was about to let go of the windowsill anyway you bet you kicked me in the face But I was falling no matter what I see them walk through the door. Oh was it an enchanted window? Did you instill like in that back on the ground and go through this door? Yes? Amazing, but on the way down we ate a bunch of tortilla chips. Yeah, I think you I guess yeah, I'm going to roll my hip thighs now

Sweet, I guess I prepare some cool drinks using these Corpus coolers. These are fucking toys cubes Chris Just drink it close your eyes and drink it all right everyone that's Okay, okay, I go in and I can, can I do an investigation? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Six. Six.

Okay, I'm right behind you. I'll do one too. Plus four, so 10. Okay. Oh, fuck, and hell. 16. 16. As you guys enter, you guys see you're in this dark room.

You see Chrissy has this door open on the other side of the room with fog coming out. Johnny, you clock that while there are these crates stacked everywhere, there's this one kind of conspicuous area that it looks like they've been stacked more neatly, and it almost makes like a little path directly into the wall Okay, I Convey that telepathically to to fear Hey, this one it's kind of yes, like it feels like it's calling my name to kind of snap my way through this area over here I take Philip and Warginti him send him through actually I stick my head in and I do an investigation, check. Fiat, you stick your head in and it goes through the wall.

Fili, like it is an illusion. Oh, sorry, hit my head on the wall. No, you don't hit your head on the wall. What? It goes through the wall. Oh, oh. Fili and illusion. There is a secret thing.

You guys still have this fog door that if you want to go in it, you can, but there was this little parting of the crates. You stick your head through that part of the wall, and you see a spiral staircase that wraps around the tower and looks to lead up. You see unlit torches on the wall here. Okay. I'm gonna just hook a rock through the fog door. You can't hook this hand. Permission to hook a rock through the fog door. You know, hot this hand.

Permission to hook a hand through the fog door. Is anyone else feeling like we should press every button to find out? Oh, in the hands. Well, this is not my hand. Everyone go ahead and give me perception checks as you throw the zombie hand through the fog door. There it is, not 20.

That's what I go. Johnny's on point. Johnny, you hear the loud splat of flesh as it hits rocks from flying out the window just like the other fog windows. Okay, so yeah, it's an entrance and an exit. That's what the fog is. I'm going to load up on hands from these crates so we can throw them through weird doors.

That's pretty smart. Okay, I load up on fucking... I'll make some shins for a bit. Is that a treasure? No, that's what I call a handbag. Mr. Johnny, tears in my eyes, I embrace it. Tears in my brain, from that great joke. Oh, beautiful. What's there? Okay, so I guess, yeah, let's throw a hand through this door that we're going to go through.

Oh, okay. Always lead with the hand. So I'll say you poke your head through. Go ahead and give me a perception check, Fiya. 12. Oh, that's a 26. Whoa. You guys see the hand hits the stairs in a way that it should continue to roll down, but it kind of like splats there and looks like it gets like stuck on the stairs. Okay. Those stairs are a wall. Can I mage hands and pick up the hand? Can I mage hands the hand? Yes. Fiya, you go to mage hands, the hand, grab it, and as you pull it back, there is tension. You can't get it with the strengths of the Mage Hand. It is restrained.

It is restrained by something like the web spell. Oh, sticky stairs. Oh my good God, I am absolutely kicking myself or not having this bell magic. No, it's fine. I make a prayer to Dr. Zurk and I say, I hope you feel how much I need you, Dr. Zurk. Zurk is currently passing.

But I do it in my head so you guys all hear. Zurk is laughing at a bead-o right now. Who's Zurk? All right, let's load up on hands and just toss them every which way. Yeah, is there another path that eases up these stairs? There are torches and I mean it's made of rocks you can climb along the wall. Oh, it's like a web spell?

Oh wait, does a web spell light on fire? Can I throw a torch on it and see if it burns up the web? Fia, you use a Mage Hand. Reach in, grab one of the unlit torches off the wall, light it on fire, throw it into the hallway, and you see the stairs a light. As all of this web that was like invisible, burns away. Like it takes at first there's a fucking wildfire in this hallway. She's even hands, she's even hands.

The hand is gone, it's absolutely toast. But you see that the web does in fact burn away. And you are left with this charred hallway. I do the suck at motion and I say, take that dispel magic. All right, I love that. I can get into that. Okay, throw another hand to see if it sticks.

It rolls down. Is there like a long broomstick or something But I can get into that. Okay, throw another hand to see if it sticks. It rolls down. Is there a long broomstick or something I could stick a hand on so that I can just poke things as we go? Oh, like a mechanical mage hand. Exactly, mechanical mage hand. Yeah, go ahead and give me a perception check. I love this for you. Can I help? Can I give you a help action?

Oh, that's a natural one. Okay, I'm actually going to do it for you. Oh, 10. Ah, 10. No sticks. You find a stick that's like not as long as your arm. It's your stick. So yeah, it's like a little, it's like, oh my god,

Kristie, fun. I do have to do everything for you. Please, Johnny, please. It's a dirty 20. There's a guy, this guy is guys. This guy is stick on. Yeah, you know, Johnny. Yeah. Right, Johnny, you find a broom.

I love it. It was right against the wall, Chrissy. I mean, you're not even looking. I'm sorry. The fog got me all tripped up. Nothing in here is real. I thought if I touched the broomstick, it would fall in a pit or something.

God, man, why'd you put a foot on the end of this stick? I thought you had a hand. I thought it'd be funny. When you've lived as long as I have. You're still on stills, right? Oh, I think these are looking up, right? We had a really tough start, but now we've got a mechanical maychan, right? So I feel like we are actually doing really well now. We did another short, man. We're out of hit, guys. Hi, I'm standing in this. We don't have to take a short rest for mechanical reasons.

We could just have a quick stay out for a while. Yeah, just hang out. The record mancer shows up and kills you. All right, let's go up these stairs, huh? Chrissy first. All right, Chrissy goes first and Mage kicks everything in his path. Sweet, I kick in the wall as you go up.

You climb up this spiral staircase and you go up for a while, like this tower is tall. Like a lighthouse. You get up exactly, you get up to the second floor and are you sneaking or are you just walking in? We are sneaking right on. Okay, guys, go ahead and give me a group stealth check. God damn it. Yes, bitch!

Dirty 20, because that's a 19 on the die. I am going to expand the psionic die to reroll that natural one. Whoa! Oh, fucking hell. I rolled another one. Okay, but it grew, though. I got a dirty bomb. Two people need to pass.

I got a 19. Okay, Fiya and Chrissy have passed, so you guys passed the group stealth check. I'm not gonna snap in here. You know what, it's actually, it's actually 24, I forgot to roll my label comic of age-size. You guys pass. So you guys peek into the second floor

as you get to the top of this spiral staircase. These are really looking. And you see a massive library. Bookcases, line the walls, reaching the ceiling at like 50 feet high. It's like so, so high up. And you see there are more of these cloaked spirits floating here. Fetching old tombs reading through them. You see

occasionally these cloaked spirits will manifest a spectral face all of the same person, this like Ghoulish mummified face. Who Chrissy and Johnny, you would recognize as the physical description of the Necromancer Atthachore. Mum Atthachore. So it looks like he's able to kind of like learn through these spirits. Essentially, it looks like these dudes are doing research. Oh, so he has like a bunch of unseen servants that are acquiring

information for him. Exactly. He's got it. Using your people fill up. They're using your people for ill. This is fucked up. This is fucked. These necromancers like almost like a computer or something. He's like assigning other things to work for him and compiling information that way. That's crazy. Like, phoning it in a group project. You also see some of the cloaked spirits are attempting to cast spells. They keep fizzling. You see they've got like ones out and they've they've got like these dummies that they're trying to cast spells on.

They're swirling around with like arcane energy. And then there's this like fizzle sound as the spell like fails to cast in their hands. Other spirits are bringing the books and whispering to them as if they're kind of like consulting each other and experimenting. Okay, so it's like a gem or something. They're all practicing working on getting better at their spells. Let's all say how we are feeling in this moment, because right now, Fio Bougignia desperately wants to read the spine of every single one of these books. There are thousands of books.

And rundown Johnny wants to kick the ass of all these nerds. Okay, can I do an investigation check to see? I just want to see what types of books are these. What are the books that are seeming the most popular? I will say with the first stealth check that you guys did, you can do this without being seen. So you're sneaking around. You see one of the cloaked spirits has like dropped one of the books.

You sneak between the bookcases and you look at this one. Go ahead and give me an investigation check. 16. This is a book about the Find Familiar Spell. Spells like it. This is my book for them. My book for them was a Find Familiar Spell. Can I, since I have, do I still have detect magic on them? No, it's been more than 10 minutes for sure. Does it seem like they're practicing the same spell over and over again? It does. They're trying to do fine familiar. They're trying to do something more advanced than fine familiar.

They're trying to fuck with your book. You get the sense, Fiya, that they're trying to like essentially create a new spell. Do I hear the whimpering of my little coward book for? With the 14 investigation check, you do not hear book for no. Okay, is there anything we want to do with these creatures? I will also say with a 14 investigation check, Fiya, you look around and you also see that there is an archway across the room leading to another stairwell

and in front of it there is a stack of girdle books which are like books with like a cover that extends so you can like tie it to your belt just outside of the archway. Okay, I need to get to this. What I want to do is we've seen the visage of this necromancer. I want to, I feel like this vibe is kind of like fuck around and find out. So I'm gonna fuck around.

I want to cast silent image to make this necromancer and see if it's like little ghosts respond to it. I'll say that you essentially create another one of these cloaked spirits that takes the face of this necromancer, and you see another one of the spirits that is just finished with a book comes over, and it doesn't communicate in words. It's almost like a psychic thing that then you, Fiya, inherently kind of here. You hear the verbal components to a fine familiar spell and to a raised dead spell. Some kind of combination of the two. Okay, I think I want to try to go get those books, the girdle books. Sweet, go ahead and give me another stealth check to go across the world. Oh my goodness gracious.

Are those kinky books? Where are they? Strap the belts. I got it, sir. A seven? Okay, I know what she's doing. So was there anything I can do to help? I'm a thief and a someone rule. If you guys are all going together, if you and Chrissy both pass, then you guys can pass to your stealth check, but it needs to be a good one.

Okay, yeah. I can't roll a third natural one, so let's fuck, what do I have to do? I actually rolled a net one. That's a three, but plus 13, so 16. Okay, the 17. 17. Okay.

I'm going to say, because FIA went a little bit ahead before we decided on the group stealth check, I'm going to have them roll for perception instead of it just being passive. So, lowest one is a, if they catch, Chrissy, they catch all of you. So, 16, they have to hit. So, these guys have a plus one to wisdom.

So, the foot, 15 are higher and they see you guys. They can out like a sore toe. Oh, roll in front of the table. Ooh. Yeah. Roll please. 15. Hey! Oh, that's a, that's a 15. That's a, that's. 15. Hey!

Oh, that's a 15. Oh fuck, sorry. They see you guys. Can I make the silent image, put it on around me like I am in with the necromancer? You see they don't attack you? But a cloaked being sees Fias she goes to move sees Chrissy as he goes to move then all of them fly together in a straight line and just fly through one of the bookcases and leave okay okay so we are in trouble

now I grab these books that I blew our cover to get grab the Kiki books So you grab the books via you see that they are Trying to cast a spell that is a combination of reincarnate raise dead Find familiar and do it on like a massive scale Okay, okay, right Okay, if we're about to get tattled on, then maybe we should all hide and wait for this

that like a man to take out. Yeah, let's just wait, right? I think I, let's all hide. Let's get it, yeah. Can we make hide checks? You don't get the sense that this super powerful necromancer would come down and fuck around with you in his library.

He's just up continuing to do his work. Somebody probably told him that you guys are here, but he's not gonna come slump it with you guys. Of course. We just proceed head on a swivel because our cover has motor less been blown. Okay, so actually, so here's what we should just continue stumbling through this thing. He will, he'll start to underestimate us. And then by the time we actually run into him, he'll give him a run for his money huh? I love this, this is like mind warfare, okay yeah let's run along. Okay I'm Johnny's gonna walk into the hallway and just kind of trip and fart, and then say

shh, everybody be quiet, John, eat, watch where you're going. I think you're here. And they got a flute and they say, oops. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't. So how are you guys proceeding? You are in this huge library. You see these girdle books outside of this one archway that leads into another stairwell.

And then you see that the ghosts went through one of these bookcases. That seems like an illusion. Can I try to throw a hand through every bookshelf, kick every bookshelf, try to take out every book on the bookshelf? Jesus Christ, that's the best. I'm gonna use the books alphabetically.

Fia spends, if only you had the way to stop time, three hours messing around with all of the stuff. It's a short rest. All that you guys get is that when you throw the hand at this one that all the ghosts went through, you guys hear that once again, these ghosts have tried to lead you into a pit. You hear the sound of the hand falling and then just bladding on the ground. How many hands do we have left? I said I grabbed a bunch.

Roll the D4. We all grabbed the bunch. Really not a D6. A D6, sorry. Oh three, three we have three hands left. Chris he's only got two hands on this foot left. Okay. Not giving up a mage foot.

I'm going to throw my hands through this archway. Wow, okay. Go through the hand through the archway and the stairwell. You see gravity reverses and it begins floating up. Okay, now that's just a fun. Oh yeah, look at that. Not even floating, like flying fucking fast. Oh, okay.

So they're dangerous. Yeah, like it goes fucking, it starts flying up. Should we go through our little mail shoot? I don't know if we want to fly up. I don't know if that's good. We should check to see if there are spikes or misceiling or something like that. Can I tie a rope around myself and kind of,

and you with one dive out? Oh, yeah, sweet. Like a really tight rope. Like a really, like a really, we're going Johnny Fishing. You guys, I'm a new voter. You guys tie a rope around Johnny. Johnny, you enter the stairwell.

Stairwell is useless because as soon as you go in there, you are shot up and you go fast. Lie up, straight up, Charlie and the chocolate factory. You go up like 10 or 15 feet or stopped dead by Chrisy holding the rope. Actually, Chrissy, go ahead and give me an athletics check. Can I help? I'm so excited.

Yes, you can do it with advantage if Fia's helping out. Actually, you should, I should. Thank you, Fia. That's my word. Okay, stop. DC 10. Oh, great. I got an 18.

Okay, you're good. You guys hold Johnny in place. Johnny, you look up, and you see that about 50 feet up, you would have flown right into it as fast as if you were falling into spikes on the ceiling, but about 10 feet short of that, there is a ledge with another archway that looks to lead to the next floor.

Oh, okay. So we just got to thread the needle as it were. Is there a way to propel ourselves towards the ledge? Johnny, do you think you could fart so that you propel towards the ledge? Let me make a check and see if a passing wind will propel me to the ledge. Give me an insight check. Great. That's a, yeah, that's a 15. 15? Unlikely. Okay. How far, how far up is this ledge? I will say that the rope is 60 feet long, but this hallway is only 50 feet long. So you guys have not extended the rope fully. I'll say that Johnny is only about 20 feet up right now because he wanted to just put him in

so that he could see. I'm kind of thinking though that if I jump in, can I read in action for when I'm mid-air? If you read in action, that is different than being surprised yet. Okay, so I want to jump in and then once I'm like, once I'm 10 feet away from it, I want to create tensors floating disc. Oh

To make like a wall so we covers the spikes. Yeah Tensors floating disc it can't do an elevation change of 10 feet or more. So you just do it right as you get up there. Yeah Okay, okay Yeah, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw then and worst case scenario You don't hit the spikes. You just hit tensors floating. Okay. So if he throws up TensorFlow floating disc, but he's gonna try to catch the archway, the little like sill. I have a plus one to dexterer this all. Okay. And I'll hold it up. This one for you, book. Seven. Oh boy.

Seven. Seven. Oh boy. Oh boy. Fiya, you take nine damages, you hit 10 to shooting discs. Oh, oh. But you are then able to kind of stop, slow yourself down, grab the stones, climb, essentially upside down until you get to the platform

where the archway is, and then gravity writes itself and you're able to stand normally. Okay, I stand normally and I say, everyone else, I wish you better luck than I. Should we make like a zip line with the rope that Johnny's got? Yeah, I can do that. I'll tie up the... Sweet, okay, so I'll say Johnny,

go ahead and give me a dexterity save with advantage. Oh God, another 20, natural. Oh, you lucky John. Get all the way up. Fiya catches you with the rope. You write yourself. You are at the archway How's your head you smashed it pretty hard? Um, it's good I'm actually going to healing word myself right now. Good. Good call. Thank you so much. Wow. It's all better It's actually not easy. It's got a strong head. It's my forehead took most of the damage since pretty strong Yeah, no, you've got the rope up there

Mm-hmm. I'll tie it to a column down here and then I guess I'll just Get a piece of leather or something so that I can zip line right from this bottom rope Upside down and into the passageway sweet grating me here to start to check with advantage all right Reach out your mage foot Not 20! Woo! Both of us. You're rubbing off on me, boy. You zip line up, you flip in, and you guys have all successfully reached this archway.

So once you guys get to the third floor, you poke your heads in this archway. Everybody go ahead and get your perception checks. It's a 16 for Johnny. 23 for fear. 23 for me. Good Lord. Wow. So you guys see that you are at the entrance to a lab.

There are giant test tubes with floating humanoids inside a varying sizes. Some look like fetuses. others are nearly grown people. Patrolling the room are two weirds, these constructs of electrical energy. They are walking down the aisles of the test tubes. There's like three different aisles, three little halls that you can hide in. And in the tent we call those normals. Let's just try to fucking sneak up and fucking mark these crown strokes.

You also see across the world. Feel it! There is another archway with a staircase heading straight up. And unlike the other ones that you guys have seen that were all like allusions and stuff, you see something walking down these steps suggesting to you that these stairs might be more straight forward, that these might be real. You see walking down the stairs is a creature called a flux charger. This is a more advanced weird that looks almost like an android. Parts of its body look like pure electricity,

but you see it has some mechanical parts. It wears a white rubber expressionless mask that looks creepy as fuck. No. And it's joining the other two weirds as it patrols the aisles here. I will also say that you guys did so good on your perception checks that you also see

that there's like a lab desk with different equipment on it as well as like papers and notes and stuff it looks like. Oh, Philip, do any of these folks in the tubes look like you're a little brother? Oh, Fia, what did you get on your perception check? Fondie 3. Fia, you UC in one of the test tubes, there is a small creature that looks kind of oddly similar to the like boy version of BookFar. Okay, fuck this. Can I hide and then get a sneak attack on this fucking weird? I don't fucking care.

At this point now I'm so fucking pissed off. I'm going to fucking destroy sneak attack on this fucking weird? I don't fucking care at this point now I'm so fucking pissed off. I'm going to fucking destroy every tube in this fucking lab. Oh she's gonna head butt those two oblivion Let's get in load everybody go ahead and give me stealth checks I'll say here's what I will say since you guys are going into battle I will say this is not a group one. This is gonna be if they don't see you you get a surprise round if they do see you You don't get 18 for me. a surprise round, if they do see you, you don't. Great.

Eight team for me. It's a 30-20 for Johnny. Say 23 for Chris. Okay, dirty. Oh, actually I didn't even add my D4. 18, so 21. 21? Okay, they get disadvantages looking for you anyway, Fia.

I'll say the two weird, so look on the same perception check. Shout out to the two crew. They don't see you guys. Nice. The flux charger. That's a eight. Neither of them see you guys. All right. I'm gonna fucking just take my fucking. No, but I don't want to be a fucking weirder. The weird? Yeah, yeah. They look more weaning. Are they fiends or horrors? No, they're like constructs. And when you have a sneak attack, or when you are a sneak round, you get advantage on.

You sure do, Fiya. You just hop out of the shadows after seeing your beloved book for a clone of your beloved book for a test tube. You just pop out screaming and slash into one of these weird. 28 to hit.

Yeah. And then I'm going to see, I'm going to also award priest. So let's see. And that's 25 to hit. This is what happened. Wait until the first one might kill it already. Go ahead and do your damage.

Just 20 damage. 20 damage. The thing is on Death's Door from after the first hit. OK, someone fucking finish this. Oh, that was that two hits? Yeah, that was both hits. Oh, got it. Okay, so you slash up, you slash down, and this thing looks messed up, but it's on Death's

Door, but it's still alive. Let's go ahead and roll initiative. Great. I got a dirty 20 on my initiative. 10. 14, sweet. After Fia, that is Chrissy's turn. You see, they are plenty surprised.

You see the flux charger, like has a gun for an arm essentially, begins charging an electrical bolt spell. Oh, that's so good. But it's not fast enough, they are surprised. You've got this one weird that is messed up. This other one that starts staggering towards you. I'm going to wait for that one to whiz past and I'm gonna go for the flux charger. Oh, you're going for the flux charger, right?

Go ahead. I'm going to use my short sword for a sneak attack that's going to be a 28 to hit. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, you sneak up, you stab under this thing's like metal mechanical carapace and get into like its electrical like elemental body You feel like a little charge go through you That's good. Yeah, I would argue Chrissy probably loves it a little bit I'm old juice stop. All right, so that's going to be That's 25 damage to this flux this fluxiboy

sweet stab into him as Gimp, electrical charge. He begins shaking emotionless face, though. Still standing. All right, I'm going to expend a superiority die to use a trip attack with my foot. Oh, sweet, with my mage foot. Okay.

So that's going to be an extra de-eighth of damage, and I'm going to need him to make a DC-17 Strengths-thief. Oh shit. All right, it's only a 15. He falls on his back. I basically just stick out my footstick. Any trips over it. That's five extra damage. Five extra damage, a 30. He is lying prone, but you've got this one that's already hurt. After Chrissy is the weird turn, but the weirds are surprised. They get into position to attack.

Johnny that's your turn. All right. Johnny's going to attack the, the hurt weird. Try to put him out of his misery. Right on. That's a 21 to hit. Hits. That's 11 damage.

Johnny, you finish this one weird. Stab through it. You see whatever like spell was holding it together dispels. The shock of electricity goes up as like it separates and is pulled apart. And then you go and you do nine damage to the other weird. Great. And can I do my sneak attack damage to that other weird? Oh shit, yeah. Yeah. There you go. Okay, so that's 20 damage to the other weird from the sneak attack. Christ, finish this other weird.

Oh, hell yes. Let's get weird. So I, I guess I, I'm gonna chuck my blue blade, my blue switch blade at that one weird and it's gonna bounce off all the walls like a boomerang and come back through the other one's neck and come back to the hand. You see it stabs through it, it goes through it slowly, like it's not quite human, it's almost like it's going through the air, but it's going through it slowly, it's going through like a spell, like an electrical storm, goes through it, and by the end it disperses as

the knife flies back into your hand. Okay, that's my new favorite knife. That is the Charger's turn. Charger is prone and surprised. Fia, that's back up to you. Okay, I'm going to run over to this prone one. So I have a advantage. Yep.

Thank God I had a advantage. That is going to be a 27 to hit. Hit. Uh, and I'm just going to attack it. 11 damage. Looks quite hurt. I'm gonna go for, I'm gonna bonus action to another Warp Priest. It's gonna be another hit because it's another 25.

Hit. And another 11 damage. On Death's Door. Uh, Chrissy, that is your turn. 25 hits and Another 11 damage on death store Chrissy that is your turn. I feel bad. I want fear to have this last hit. Oh No, it's fine because you know what my focus is is fucking breaking all these fucking tools. All right, fear Finish this fucker off so I can break a bunch of fucking tools All right, I spin my mage foot or ending the air and I'm gonna stab it down on its throat Sweet your mask is mine. It looks creepy, but I feel like I could use it for a sexual party Looks at you expressionless

It's going to be a 27 to hit hit. Oh, let me see if I create for fun 27 to hit hit oh, let me see if I create for fun 18 28 to head. I rate let's see that's going to be 11 damage, uh, Chrissy finished this thing All right, uh, yeah, I put the foot right up in its face and they just kind of slap it back and forth Yeah, just sniff it just sniff it on that guy I was not smell. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age

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without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to bird dogs. me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. You finish off this flux charger, it dissipates, and you guys are left in this room. You see, there's all of these test tubes around, there's this lab desk with all these notes and everything, and then there's steps going up to presumably the next floor.

You saw the flux charger walking down it normally. Okay, everyone keep watching, so we aren't surprised if someone comes down. I'm gonna read those fucking notes to try and get some perspective on what's happening and if that is book far or just some kind of book far clone. You're able to find something interesting. Fiya, you recognize the name Moxora. And you begin to recognize. I want to scratch it out. Yeah, and you see that her name is in these guys notes and that she had visited the lab the other day. And you see in his notes, he says, the sorceress presented me with the subject and asked if I could help extract information from it. The subject seemed unable, were unwilling

to cooperate fully, and she received little new information. Yet I received so much. The sorceress thought it was I who served her, but it is she who has served me. I believe the subject is the answer to my prayers. It is an advanced creature with the intellect of a humanoid, but the loyalty of a familiar. Imagine if I could replicate this, to raise fully functioning endoterrens with the same dedication to the Empire as the subject shows to this mysterious miss. The sorceress took the subject with her, but I was able to scrape some biomatter and reproduce some of its effects. Mass production is a long way off, but I believe I could have some fun with it in the meantime.

Oh, that ain't your front. I think go that's just a clone. Yes, but if it has even a glimmer of bookfari in it, we have to save it. I am telling you, bookfari, Philip Lagerier's... Oh, okay, I'll plug him. Oh, okay. Bookfari is the most important person in honestly the world. I think I can say this objectively. I don't think that my judgment is cloudy. He's the most important person in the world. I think I can say this objectively. I don't think that my judgements cloud is the most important person in the world.

That's drug-like Philip. And if there's even just a bit of him in this creature, it is it is pure of heart, cunning of intellect and beautiful smile and we need to take it. The notes said that they're not, perhaps they have free will they could live a somewhat normal life if we are at least them. I can't believe I'm fucking doing this. I fucking break the tube. Oh, there's one for each of us.

Try to, I guess can I do an investigation to try to see if like it can live outside the tube? Yeah, go ahead and do insight or investigation. 18. It looks like it's in the very early stages of building this clone. It looks like it would not live if you were to take it out of the tube.

Okay. Okay, it pains me deeply, but I think we have to leave this creature here. If anything, perhaps it is all the more incentive for us to fuck up this fucking leather jacket wearing necromancer. Yeah, no, it's mostly fuck up the necromancer, leather jacket. It's either here nor there, you know what I'm saying? I think it's just a bad look all around. I think if we could eliminate that, maybe. On him, he can't pull it off.

That's what I'm saying. We've got to eliminate the competition so that you can be the prey. Not really a competition, though, but yeah, I hear you. I hear what you're saying. Let's go get some fucking guy. In the public opinion, I'd say they're equally balanced about who's wearing it better.

Johnny doesn't care about public opinion. See smoothness here. Miss Fia, is there any way you could create some sort of controlled trash can fire so we could just get rid of all of this research though? I do have green flame blades, so I can make a little flame leak off my sword and light it on fire, but I also kind of want to, I think I want to put my hand up against the glass of this tube and try and make eye contact with this little book for a quote Go ahead. Oh so heartbreaking

What was your insight check from before 18. Oh wait inside. Oh, it was inside. It was actually 21 Fiat you see that this thing opens its eye and You see at first it looks like the eye of a normal boy and Then he closes it again and he opens it back up and Like the eye of a snake And he like jolt's forward to like go at you.

And then kind of like falls back to sleep. It looks like they're essentially trying to build this type of person, this type of person with loyalty and dedication, but you know, not to you, not to like friends to the empire. Yeah, your friend's special because there's only one of them. This guy... It's a failed experiment. I continue eye contact with the flinching bookfar who wants to kill me

and I say, I will make this right and eventually the world will be better for having more of you book for that side promise And then I turn around and I say where to next Boys Fill up we can say something nice there I'm fucked up too And we can take a short rest if everybody needs to No, no, no, no short rest

Thank you I hug Johnny Hey watch the hair Okay, let's fucking go. Oh watch the hair as long as the life I've got I'll watch that hair. It's beautiful Johnny. I feel good to go wait I checked the stairs to see if there's nails on it Well, let me show them not try the homologous usually we send Chrissy up first But what do you say to three of us? We all walk up there together, huh? Side by side?

Yes. I actually like that very much. That's a brilliant piece. I like this. So you guys... I try not to look over my shoulder at Demon Book Farm, but I do. You guys begin climbing the staircase together. And as you climb it, suddenly the room takes a shift and stops being this old stone staircase and becomes this opulent walkway. It literally has a red carpet. There's like a black marble floor, like black marble stairs and a red

carpet leading up the steps. At the top of the steps, there is an archway leading into a beautiful great hall. This is very obviously all in illusion. This looks like probably what you saw from the outside, the glass that was like all black at the top of the tower. Time is an illusion. One that have space be it too, right? There you go. Time is an illusion. Why not have space be it too, right? You see this room looks like it's just hanging in the night sky. You see rows of marble pillars leading straight up to nowhere and the marble staircase leading up to a ghoul in a leather jacket. He's so much more beautiful.

You really are such a good man. Believe it or not, that wasn't in my notes, but we have to make a kill. The blood, it looks really good on him. You have to, yes, and. Yeah. You didn't wear it first. I hold Johnny's hand.

He's sorry. I'm sorry. He's wearing like a long dress. Can I do a little inside check as to whose leather jacket actually looks better? Yeah. Or actually, Johnny, go ahead and give me a charisma check Charisma charisma contested charisma check You go this hey, I mean Johnny only got a 29

Johnny looks way better this coat is like ill fitting on this Now let me do a history check to see who wore it first ill-fitting on this goal. Now let me do a history check to see who wore it first. But anyway, you guys see this robed ghoul sitting at a desk that almost looks like an alter atop these steps. He's writing in this giant tomb with a quill that radiates magic energy, almost like he's casting a spell as if it were a wand and you hear his voice booming Through here as if you were right next to him The spirit spotted you in my library

Have you come to stop my research When I'm so close to discovering the truth. If you want to take that one. Um, yes, yes we fucking got. You are. Yes. Hey, yeah, and that's not you can do to stop us. You see, he turns, and he goes, you can't stop me.

I finally cracked the code. Raise dead spells, reincarnate snow. We don't need more people. We need more. Familiers. It sounds like a dirty one. Rise tomvar. You see the giant book that he was writing in? Oh! Springs to life.

Counter-spel. Um. Can I counter-spel? Go ahead. Finally! Counter-spel. Go ahead and roll. And our conno-check.

I'm going to say this is a very high... I'm going to say he's doing a higher than normal fine familiar. I'm gonna say this is a seventh level fine familiar. DC 17. Rolling in front of the table. Easy, yeah. Roll it on my laptop.

Because it's an ability check, I am coming of edge. So I get to add my D4. Let's see what I get D4 first, two. Two. Eight arcana, so I get to add my default let's see what I get default first to 8 arcana so I've got 10 I just need to roll a seven or higher I think with a net 20 if Tom Verk comes and knows his mommy. Hahaha. Fee-eye-wow. I'm fucking kidding. Hahaha.

He cover. Ah. Flaps open and begins to fly, looking like a giant book far. It begins flipping through its pages and out for all a giant paper dragon. And it speaks and goes, hello. And all the pages begin sucking back into the book. Sucking back into the book, Tom slams closed and falls back on the ground. The dude looks shocked, holds up his hand to cast a spell on you.

Guys, go ahead and roll initiative. Oh! Wow. Gladly. And that one initiative I get it too. Oh, my God. Homevar. Oh, the coolest.

I had to drive. That's the best Nath 20 ever got. That was such a good 20. The coolest introduction instantly outdone. Seven for my initiative. 24 for Johnny. I think I spent myself on these counter-swell. 16, Johnny, you are about 50 feet away.

You see this guy go to cast a spell, but you are quicker, you are first. Wow, hey, pretty epic moment, great speech. You countered my book, my beautiful Tomvar. He was never yours, you stole him. You invented Tomvar? Tomvar and bookvar are completely different. Well, Tomvar sounds like he fucking sucks.

And your jacket looks like it's off the rack. Tomvar loves to cook cow's own. You said that with a fucking question mark you are questioning everything about yourself right now You're questioning about yours. You fucking stumble over your own fucking wand. I'm telling you this guy's a classic pose I'm telling you okay. Yeah leather jacket thing. That was mine the book things that was heard Where's the leather jacket from huh? Thousand years look at that you roll the sleeves it doesn't fit The letters the leather jacket from huh? Yeah, do some leather jacket, I've been working for a thousand years. Look at that, he rolled the sleeves, it does it fit.

You rolled the sleeve with every touch. I'm gonna use my turn for a perception check. I wanna see if this guy has a mug that says it's an aqua-thorthing. Alright, I'm gonna throw a blade at him. Sweet. Oh yeah, that's a 29 to hit. Uh yeah. Oh, yes, absolutely. It's gonna be 9 damage. 29 to hit. Yeah. Oh yes. Absolutely fucking nine damage and I'm going to

toss another one there you go. Yeah I'm gonna use a this is a bonus thing it's another attack this one does psychic damage as well. Sweet's that is an 18 to hit. That hits. Two psychic blades. Oh, yeah. That's 10 damage. Sweet. Stabbing him twice. And then, you know, I'm not fucking afraid of you, but I am going to use my turn to hide sweets,

cutting action, to a jet behind, I don't know, one of his giant bulls or leather jacket that's ill-fitting. Yeah, it's mostly just empty black space here except for these pillars. So yeah, you hide right pillar nearby. Emma showed a mistake filling your layout with pillars after Johnny that is Athachor's turn. He points his finger at the archway of the door where you guys have just entered and it targets Chrissy and Fia. Go ahead and give me Constitution saving throws. He's gonna cast Circle of Death. Oh, wow, that sounds bad. Don't like the sound of that.

Yeah, Johnny rolls away just in time. 15. 15 as well. Two fails. Oh! 31 damage to Fiya and Chrissy. Necrotic damage. You guys feel like your skin dry out. Like you, the moisture is like sucked from your body. Okay.

After ATHICOR's turn, that is Chrissy's turn. Honey, well, I'm out in the open. There's no sense trying to be sneaky now. I'm going to pull my short sword, ultima beard, and then I'm gonna rush at him and attack. Sweet, I said he was what, 60 feet away. Oh, that's very far. Do you have, if you wanna take a cunning action

or something, you can get to him. Actually, what I will do instead is use my movement to get as close as I can. Okay, 30 feet. What I will do instead is use my movement to get as close as I can and there will be a bonus action to Expend a superiority dice the grant a friendly creature. I can see or hear temp hp equal to this dice plus 2 we're gonna give that to fear. Thank you I

Give you 7 HP. I give you a wink, toss your crystal and say, Varkod luck! Not that you'll need it! Crystals are so powerful! Hey, yeah, as soon as you grab this fear, you feel healed up a bit, you feel power. Oh, yes! I fucking bite on it. It's one of the Chrissy's chips! Okay, I mean to the chips now.

If I use a dash action and a chips Okay, I mean to the chips now If I use a dash action and a bonus action, yeah, you get 60 feet right yeah, you can get right next to him. All right, so I'm right next to him Okay, you get up right next to him as a legendary action He's going to go ahead and cast chill touch on you. You see this cold Spectral skeletal hand swipes at you. I'll roll to see if I hit Only a 14 to hit I roll the five that misses misses Chris as you get close you roll out of the way That is fias turn

Oh, it is taking everything and my power not to just Impulsively use my time stop scroll, but power not to just impulsively use my time stop scroll but fia fia settle settle okay you don't need it just yet have you come to steal the idea for Tom VAR I thought you used to I do not steal the at Tom Vars and original is an ethical original there's a bee on the cover what does it say be on the cover? I'm gonna run 30 feet forward. That's my movement. Okay. And then I'm going to cast pulse wave. I do a 30 foot cone. Um, each creature in that comb has to make a constitution saving throw. A creature takes 66 for force damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one. And every creature that fails, the save is either pulled 15 feet

towards you or pushed 15 feet away from you. And I'm feeling like confrontational, so I'm just gonna pull and fucking 15 feet towards me. Oh shit, okay. If he fails. He's gonna have him by the oversized lapels. What kind of save was it, Con? Con. Okay. He's gonna burn a legend resistance and it's a whole take half damage. Half? It's only nine damage. Nine damage. Okay. Do I have to close the distance? Use a new spell. You begin to pull him towards you. He holds up his hand and he stops it and there's this magical push and pull between the two of you.

All right, my fucking hand goes to my fucking time stop scroll. After... After... Getting fucking pissy here after Fia He's going to burn two legendary actions to do Noxious touch to Chrissy Chrissy, he makes a spell attack on you That's a 24 to hit. I'm gonna hit oh no. He's all through the beard

That's a 24 to hit. I'm gonna hit. Oh no, he saw through the beard. Uh, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Gladly. That's a 12. Only 10 damage, but you're now poisoned. Attacks on you have advantage, and you have disadvantage on attacks and checks.

I have a resistance to poison. Oh! Okay, well that's only a poison damage. You're not immune to the poison. You have the poison condition right now. So Chrissy, you feel ill. You feel, when you start to get tunnel vision, it's hard for you to see.

After Fiya, that is Johnny's turn. Okay, hey man, you shouldn't have had so many fucking pillars in this room. I'm gonna jump out and sneak attack him. Oh, so you're just throwing. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna jump out from around the pillar, chuck some blades at him. Right on.

That's 25 to hit. Hits, 11 damage, nice. And then the sneak attack, 14 more damage, suites. I'm gonna use that bonus strength attack to chuck another blade. That is a 18 to hit hits. Yeah, you're just popping out from behind this pillar. Pwuh, pwuh. Psychic blades stabbing into this dude.

Hell yeah. But you get my fucking stealing books from my friend. I thought I was the only one who combed his hair real cool. You just need that. Tell me it's not the time to stop him. Tell me it's not the time to stop him. It was calm different when we walked in. That's low. Don't touch me. What?

That's another... Everything. I swear to the elder if you pull a mug out of that jacket you're done. That's another five damage and you know what I can't I can't deal with this you're making me feel you're making me feel sick and I'm gonna hide again. Sweet. Johnny is going to hide that is Atthichor's turn. Atthichor is going to reach his hand up at Chrissy, who is right next to him. Oh, hello. And he is going to cast Finger of Death. Chrissy, go ahead and give me

a constitution saving throw. 16, that is a fail. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 65 damage. Chrissy is down. Wait, I have a, 65 damage. This is down. Wait, I have a reaction again. Counter-spell. Go ahead and roll a check to try to do it. No, Miss Vya, don't waste it on me.

Absolutely, I wasn't going to use my reaction otherwise. You have to find two with a friend. DC-17. I rolled a four on these. That's good. My intelligence is plus four four so we've got eight So you got to get a nine or higher I got to get a nine or higher Let's go Chrissy

This is not over 17 on the day baby You see you got a high hand like a like a Dementor like starting to like suck the life out of Chrissy and Fia throws some arcane energy between the two and breaks the spell You've added another page to my book missing After At the Course turn that's Chrissy's turn. Oh Goodness it's good to be back

You sir are everything that's wrong with the Dragoons on Indotera. And I am personally going to help administer your demise. I'm going to run at him and I'm going to try and attack so that I can expend some superiority dice. Sweet. That's I'm attacking with disadvantage, right? Yeah, you're poisoned. That's a five and a four. So that's no.

You swing, you're feeling yourself like lethargic. Your legs get wobbly as you get close. It's about chips. All right, I'm going to action search. This got in this way. You see Chrissy bravely legs wobbling, still swinging, trying to fight this dude hand to hand hand as he backs up and moves out of the way Fuck well, there's a 17 hit a 17 does

As I managed to get a swipe in on him. I want to look at the quill. He's holding. Yeah on him. I want to look at the quill he's holding. Yeah, that's his spell casting focus if I'm not mistaken. He was using it on the book certainly, yeah. I turn the fee and say, you look like you do a lot of writing. More reading, but I'd love to expand. Well, I've got the perfect gift for you then. And I'm going to use disarming strike. Rat. Whoa. So this is going to be an extra D8 of damage. And then he's going to need to do a DC 17 strength check. Oh, I love these.

Shout out to the two crew. Yeah! Yeah! Hopefully you swipe at him, drops the quill. 16 points of damage. All right. Grab the quill. And I flick it at FIA. I will say, FIA, you grab this thing,

go ahead and give me an arcana check as you touch it. Do I still have a bonus action? Yeah, I think so. I probably should use it to do second-win buts. I'm gonna use my mastermind technique to give the help action to FIA. Whoa, sweet. Oh, that's actually really good,

because I rolled poorly. Yes, okay. That is a dirty 20. Sweet, Sofia, in this moment of angry focus, you grab this quill, and it is a magical item that is gonna give you plus one to spell attacks and your save DC. Sick.

Woo. Woo. Sick. Wow, I will write your biography. Oh, Chrissy. It's a Chrissy thing. You don't know how to read it. It's a Chrissy thing. If you read it, maybe you'll finally understand. That's a better title.

All right, the last chapter for you is going to at the end of Chrissy's turn Cast chill touch on Chrissy gets advantage on the spell attack Do your worst. Oh, you trying to turn me into one of your little frozen hands. It's a 26 to hit that does hit Mostly because Chrissy's poison. Do you see that like Chrissy was able to dodge it before but a skeletal hand scrapes at him Chrissy cannot be healed and is going to take nine damage. Okay, still standing. Okay, but I can't heal you this turn. That's okay. That is Fias turn. I want to do something really ill advised. Do it. Keep in mind, this is the same day that you're supposed to go to the vault and stuff. Interesting.

I'm not going to do something really ill- Tell me what it is and I'll do it. Okay, I'm going to say, fill up, come over here. Yes ma'am. It's time to fucking breathe lightning. Fucking right on. Fuck, Tom Bar. Fuck this dude. I'm going to do a fourth-level dragon's breath. Sweet. Send Philip over, going to breathe fire on him.

With lightning? Yeah, hey, is this what you wanted your book to do? Yeah. You see Philip flaps over, opens up, inspired by rundown Johnny being on his side for the fight. You see a pop-up book picture of a super cool car with Danny Zuko hanging out of it with a leather jacket. Oh my god, is that a hot rug? Will it grease lightning? And a bunch of lightning comes out at this dude. What kind of check is that?

That's the same. And it's going to be actually higher. What do you get? He got only a 14. It's 17 now because of this quill. Oh, he does. Chrissy pukes on his crystals. 18 lightning damage.

Yes. And then I'm just going to, because I'm within 30 feet, so I'm just gonna run up and fucking attack. He does. Chrissy pukes on his crystals. 18 Lightning damage. Shit. And then I'm just going to, because I'm within 30 feet, so I'm just going to run up and fucking attack. All right. Right on. You light your blade, aflame. You run through this dark space and run up to Atacore and take a swing on him. I say, for the book far.

Oh, and I roll well. I figured that'd be funny if I didn't roll well. No, no funny. Not anymore. 26. 26 hits. 20 damage. She has.

Is he a fiend or a horror? He's absolutely a fucking fiend. Yeah, another fucking D6. Another five, 25. He's starting to look quite fucked up. Um, after Fias turn, he is going to go ahead... Oh, bring it. Once again, chill touch with advantage on Chrissy.

Oh. I got shocked by the little gimp downstairs. Nighttune, the chill touch me. 19 to hit Chrissy. Thought it was hit? 13 damage. Rates still standing. Oh, you can't be fucking killed.

Uh, that is Johnny's turn. Hey, hey, hey, if you fly in book, I call shotgun. I come out and I'll I'll chuck some I'll chuck some blades at this guy a 28 to hit hits. Yes. 11 damage. Great, great. And I get sneak attack on this, right? Yeah, dude another 17 And I am going to make my bonus Sionic blade attack that is 18 hit 18 hit hits and that's another nine damage Yes, and then I say okay All right, I'll go, oh yeah, you'll fill let's let's cruise on out of here and go and hide behind Another pillar again. Save me a seat.

Where does Johnny keep going? Is anyone wandering? Oh, he's just this. Keith, there's a jukebox back here. Covered behind the pillar. You always have a non-hiding reason to hide. Hide? It's weird, it's so exciting.

I gotta go take a leak. After Johnny, that is AtheCourse turn. What are you gonna do? AtheCole me? Replace me with one of your little dummies. After Johnny that is Athachor's turn. What are you gonna do? Athachelme? Replace me with one of your little dummies. Grind up my bones and make a funny little guy. That sounds like a great idea. I think I'll take credit for it.

These crystals will be hard to break. Hold this hand out and it's gonna do vampiric touch. Okay, counter-spel. They're a level spell, so it is just fizzle. Oh, oh, yes, baby. I've lived a long life You've got so much more to go you can't keep wasting your spells on me. Haven't you lived like a thousand years? Give her tick. Yeah, I'd like to see you live a thousand more at least one more day Chrissy. Come on I

Would like to see how long this beard could get yeah That is Chrissy's turn. Chrissy. Well then. Actually Chrissy, at the end of last turn, you get to roll it. You get to roll to see if you can get out of this poison condition. Great. All right, there we go.

So go ahead and let's do one at the start of the turn. That's a 16. 17 is the D. Oh! So it's still poison. Auraight then. You know what? I like it. It's like a strong move Did you this poison did you make it? No, this couldn't be you. It's too potent. He doesn't do anything

I do nothing nothing I've tasted this poison before this is not you this is the work of Miroslav the Mesmer if I've ever seen it. I lapped it up young, really. How do you know about Miroslav? You know Miroslav? Only some of us, only the most important endotterians can get booked shipped in from the world of world. I know about Miroslav now. I'm here in the endottera library, so I'm going to spread the word of Miroslav the Mesmer.

I'll just tell everyone that I discovered him first You won't be able to fucking speak Go ahead Chrissy Thank you Miss This is what we're here for To keep you from taking credit For an already popular author Here we go That's a four so attack is going to miss

I'll use my bonus action to get via another help action Right on Aw, some Noble Attack is going to miss. I'll use my bonus action to get via another help action Right on awesome noble. I saw that you finish the other crystal. So here's another one that you on End of your turn another chill touch 22 to hit 7 HP I don't even have a counterspell 16 damage Not hits I don't even have a counterspell 16 damage

Could I see it's down Chrissy drops cannot be healed Fia that is what until next turn until after his next turn Yeah, well Philip get the fucking there So we need to do a deck save fill up that one is a 20 okay? Chrissy died 20 okay I'm gonna Chrissy die Chris fill up I just want you know. Yeah. Yeah, please do not Really cool right now Don't see no stuff dude

So half damage is gonna be seven okay, and then I'm gonna just green flame blade on sweet That's gonna hit. Another 20 damage. Shit. I guess I just shout to rundown Johnny like, let's get Chrissy out of here I think. I mean, I guess we could get him out of here by like killing this fuck, but. Hmm, he does look very, very hurt. Yeah, I'm really hurt. You hear a toilet flush.

Yeah. Oh, you weren't tidying after all. Okay, yeah, I think that's my turn. I can't, I can't heal him. Johnny can always find the Lou and a hoodie. At the end. Chrissy, I'm not going to give up on you. Fias turn.

You see a chill touch. Choke Chrissy. Duh. Fuck it. That's one dead save fail. Johnny, that is your turn. Chrissy, we are going to get there. Okay, well, I'm gonna try to fuck.

I'm gonna hop out and say, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? What do you think you're doing? What am I doing? You came to my tower. I'm honestly, I wonder if this is even your tower. You steal every fucking thing in the world. That's true. Who was in this tower before?

You know what? Piones, who was? Maksora Alpitt! Who gave you the idea for the tower? Who gave me the idea? There were a bunch of us throwing around sort of pitching a blue sky. Okay, so you're going to say it was like a group? It was a group idea, yeah. I wonder if it looked like the other people in the group if it was really just a group.

I'm gonna kill your friends. I know that there was an identical tower in this area. And I'm wondering if the other guard... A bit Maksora said it, and then you said it louder later. I feel like the other guard came up with it first. Anyway, I'm gonna talk a blue blade in them. That's a 28 to hit. That hits.

8 damage on the first one. Okay. 25 damage for the sneak attack. Okay, and for my cunning action, can I slide Chrissy away somewhere? I want to see if will you let me chuck a teleport blade and have Chrissy teleport instead of me. Go ahead and give me an arcana or a sleight of hand check. Okay.

I've got this Mr. Johnny. I will say that this is not quite the way the spell works. Right. It will be unstable and it will essentially swap you and Chrissy. And you'll be right next to the wizard. Yes. Okay. Johnny! You're here!

Don't be stupid! It's all right buddy, it's time for you to go find the bathroom now. Okay, I could go. That's in 19. But I'm gonna use a psionic die and add a D8 just to make it really fucking succeed. It's 24. Sweet. Johnny, you throw the psychic blade.

It flies towards the Necromancer, ethicalor. It looks like it's gonna hit him, but it diverts at the last second and goes over towards Chrissy. There's a flash of magic as he appears back behind the pillar where you are and you appear right in front of him that is his turn he is going to hold his hand out and he is going to instantly cast disrupt life I'm gonna need Fia and of rundown Johnny to roll Constitution saving clothes. Okay, I'm okay fuck me. I've okay fuck me. I'm gonna let it happen. I

am so out of spells. I got no constitution. No, no. That's a seven. That's a net one. Oh both take 32 damage. Oh my god. And then that is Chrissy's turn Chr Chrissy go ahead and give me a desk saving throw. Don't roll alone. Just don't roll alone. Please. I just need one more gleam on the crystal. That's a five. A five, two death fail, two death fails. Fucking fucking. When he's hidden after Chrissy's turn. He's going to go ahead and make a spell attack on Johnny

to do chill touch. He's got no brain, just pompador. God, I love him though. Only 15 hits you, Johnny. That just barely misses. Okay. Johnny. He's a slippery little fuck.

Fee-eth is. Fee-eth is your turn. Okay, check it out the way. I'm a slippery little fuck. have anything but to just fucking hope I hit on an attack. The suit is very, very hurt. For a book for her. What's the... 18! Hits? Yes! Okay.

18 damage. 18 damage on DeathStore. No! Oh my god! Fucking hell! Fuck me! Okay, after Fiat, kill me. No, I want to fucking kill you!

He is going to use a noxious touch on Johnny. Hold this hand out. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. That's a 20 to head Yeah, that's a three on the con. Okay, oh Chrono shift Go ahead and roll the con again. Oh, no, it's not worth it. I know I know I don't I just I'm like out of spells, and shit It's fucking what else?

Fuck me. Yeah, that is 14 damage and you are poisoned Johnny Okay, I'm fucking I'm still up. I have two hit points Johnny. That is your turn. Elder's blood I got no surprise attack. I'm just disadvantage on your attack But this dude looks like he's on death's door. Okay. Oh That's a 17 and 18. Yes! Yes, it is!

Yes, it is! Are you damaged? Ah, alright. 12 damage. Johnny? Finish him. Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Wow, I think this is a goddamn team effort. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes over to Fia and say, hey Fia, you should stab this guy with Chrissy's crystal shards. Absolutely, I fucking put them in between my fingers, like two little fangs, and I just go, Bink, bink, bink, bink! You stab into this dude, you see, Breeds in deep turns to ash. You see the entire dark space that you guys are in dispels, and you guys are in the sad decrepit bunk of a hermit wizard. It was just like a good news, huh? Yeah, a little bed.

Oh, these scrolls are so weird. Here is what I was saying. You can do a medicine. Yeah, a little bed and stuff. Oh, these scrolls are so weird. Here is what I was saying. Can I do a medicine check to get Chrissy back on? So after Johnny. Oh no. Chrissy still needs to do a roll. Oh god damn.

It makes sense. Okay. So Chrissy, you have to get a 10 or higher as long as you pass a 10. These other guys will absolutely be able to get you stable. Great. Okay. As long as you pass a 10 these other guys will absolutely be able to get you stable great, okay I see a garden full of crystals And people in it that look familiar that Didn't I think I've seen in thousands of years if ever but they look familiar all the same

There's a bunch of stale chips here in this bunk. so I think it's kind of worth coming back here for it. Chips? Ha ha ha ha ha. 13! Oh! Oh! You guys see, I'm not even gonna make you guys waste any spells. You see, he passes it.

Oh! He passes it. You guys, you guys are able to do some chest compressions. You guys stabilize. Chrissy, he is breathing again. The second vault keeper has been killed at his time for the two teams to converge and enter the vault to enter Old Zilbaldar.

And that is where we'll end our session. Nice shot. I thought we're gonna be in this crazy. We have, oh my God. I can't believe that this was the fucking fight without the lore book. Oh, the lore, the book? The book didn't, the book had a lot of HP. He didn't do that much damage. His wind to breath was only 2D10.

So he would have been extra, you know, bad. Yeah, man. We've barely made it through that. I'm not in hip points. I was dead. I think the four book would have been the end of it. I know. But yeah, yeah, your counter spelt. Turns out, yeah, all you got to do to stop a rogue is give him a little tummy ache and then they're done. Yeah, the poison. You got unlucky because like,

I know. Because you, anytime you're rolled rolled with disadvantage you missed the dude. Yeah, Johnny had was poisoned as well and Johnny Yeah, got the dude on the first attack. So it's bad bad rolls I want to talk about how bad I feel that Fia burned all our spells on those counter spells for Chrissy No, I really appreciate it. Okay. This is like when someone spends money on you and you're like I feel so bad I want it to spend them on you Yeah, and I want gonna give yourself a thorn on the short rest there, you see.

I got those bells so that I can spend them on you. And that was very nice. And like, you know what, we're having the weekend together. Yeah, it's like we're both enjoying it. It's super fun to save your friend. It is super fun to save your friend. You're perfect for us, you're new chapter. I can't believe that fucking counter-spell.

Also, you gave me a freaking magic quill. Oh, I think we're fucking evil. Hell yeah. I'm excited believe that fucking counter-spell. Also, you gave me a freaking magic quill. Oh, yeah! I think we're fucking even. Hell yeah. I'm excited for that call. Oh, yeah, plus one plus one. Oh, oh. So guys, thank you all so much for listening.

I can listen to us talk more over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash an ad pot. That's any DDPOD don't sing. Yay! Wee! Uh, anybody else have anything to add to plug? I would love to plug a Drawfee. I don't know if you've heard of it.

YouTube.com slash Drawfee or patreon.com slash Drawfee. What days is coming out? October, this is, no. No, we're coming on like two days. Oh yeah, the 23rd. What do you think we're ahead? I'm sorry. Yeah, no way.

I got baby brain time compression. It's so good. October 5th, Drock Tech Tips, Season 2, DMed by Julia Lepetit, Ares on DROPHY. It is their murder mystery detective show, but with drawing, it's a tabletop and drawing all mixed together. It's so fun.

I may or may not be guessing on an episode later on. But the show premieres on October 5th, check it out. You're really gonna love it. It's hilarious and also suspenseful. Wow, check it out, guys. Wow. I would like to continue to plug at three black halflings outlaws and obelisks

because it's a great group. But I would also like to plug going for a walk 20 minutes each day. Wow. Very good. Just like do going for a walk 20 minutes each day. Wow. Very good. So it's like do it for a little bit and see if it maybe makes a positive impact.

Yeah, get yourself what I like to do in my walk. Get a black coffee even though it's 90 degrees outside. Shugged that thing get sweaty as hell. Okay, that doesn't sound. That sounds exciting. That sounds exciting. I would ruin my walk. Don't break down.

We're long pants, drink a hot coffee. That's the cold, can't wait. I'm all for the long pants. I'll drink a nice coffee in the snow. I'm like, oh, me too. Holy shit, we're mortal enemies. Yeah, then we must fight. Jake, you got anything?

You know, I'll second the walk. That's, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah, all great plugs, especially walks though. That's gonna make a huge fucking improvement on everybody's life. You know what I'm gonna say?

I'm gonna say kettlebells. Great work dude. Dude kettlebells. Yeah, I do kettlebells with a baby and a stroller. Cause I can walk with a baby. Can you show me your baby around? Honestly, yeah, she's turning bounds now. There you go.

A kettlebell is a very efficient piece of equipment. A kettlebell is a very efficient piece of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment.

A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment.

A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very efficient pieces of equipment. A couple of those are very that's any ddpod. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. I haven't tweeted you are years.

It's the end of the episode, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker and Matt Im. A group of people suing Chrissy after eating some of his crystal beard chips. I guess for some people, a crack tooth isn't worth getting advantage on your next attack

over. Huh, weird. Jordan DJ, Qatar W, Jive G, and Dylan B, Indotaren delivery drivers who provide Atthakor with his weekly shipment of body parts. Their motto is always here to lend a hand, or foot, or elbow. Also we don't lend them, they cost money. Wow, succinct. Or foot. Or elbow. Also, we don't lend them, they cost money. Wow. Sucsinked.

Daniel the Desterly Dame. Andrew M. Beardman Dan. Scott D. and Danny P. The makers of the short rest vest. It's a puffy vest that folds out into a full sleeping bag while you wear it. Sadly, the vest never made it to market because Atthacore imprisoned the inventors and is now camping on the copyright. Sounds accurate. Mixologist Michael McD, Vincent W, Boundwer's boy, and Andrew B. Ghost Riders for the Smash hit self-help book, it's a Chrissy thing on if you read this, you'll understand.

They were mostly brought on to help flesh out the chapters, not related to chips. Just an eye, Bragnar Faredwin, TJM, the gnome barbarian, Alaina M and Trayle the cray-fay. Necromancers who infused their gloves with a sticky web spell so that adventurers couldn't steal their staffs. Unfortunately, the planned backfired, and now they're missing their staffs,

their gloves, and a decent amount of fingers too. Jared E, Austin Bonesaw MR. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald and Gage M. Benevolent flux chargers who deserted ATHICOR's army in order to pursue their true passion, which is, charging strangers' phones when all the outlets at the airport are taken. So noble. Filbert the Fabulous.

Richard X Machina. Michael L. Trash the Traveler, and Sir Karl. Unseen servants hired by Johnny to snap along with him wherever he goes. Not only does it add a nice echo, it also makes his location impossible to pinpoint. AY nice one Johnny! Jory S. Dana G. Calum L. And Jack L.

Street vendors who sell Chrissy's favorite meal, lizard fish and chips. Because of the heist, he hasn't visited them in over 3 hours and they're all starting to get super worried. It's alright, I'll be back before too long. Deneu Wadi. Flallus Whale. Sam L. Nicholas C.

And Samuel B. The Beatles that the Be beetle leather jacket that run down Johnny wears are made from. Ah, yet another beautiful use of beetles. Mike H. Uduish Maluk the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E. Colton B. and Adam G. The owners of Chrissie's Shards and Picks. It's a fish and chips restaurant, but instead of forks and knives, you eat with shards and picks. It's delicious and it will cut your mouth to shit. Sorry.

Megan S. Any badger? Panama James and Cummins the Bard. The council of wizards for counter-spells supremacy, who have been this close to reporting Elder Mord's omission of it until this episode. There's still pee-vish that Fiya calls herself a witch, but at least for now, they're not sending

their tiny servants after us. Thank you, Council. Captain Sijul, race G, drew nasty, C.C. Lulu, and Barnes and Adir. The makers of foggy, trick windows. Turns out they're a much better home security system than a smile you're on camera sticker, which is what most of Elderborn swears by. Dubious.

Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Crock-Waring Warrior. Lucas B. And Aaron S. Beta-Tone Fars. Michelle O. was Codex-Var. Timmy R. was Manuscript-Var. Jonathan W. was Novel-Var. Lucas B. was Pamphlet-Var. far, Lucas B was pamphlet far, and Aaron S was waiting room magazine far. Cute! It's Kevin, rundown Johnny's pubic mound, New York, Steven C and KJ. The interior designers who insisted Acarot put all those pillars in his mind palace. They kept saying, if you dream it, it will be it. What could go wrong? Honestly.

Michael M. Mike K. Joy T. Nick W. and Taylor A. The Unseen Servants Union who is going to seriously look into the situation at Atthecor's palace to find out if they're getting overtime and lunch breaks. Solidarity, on scene servants union, solidarity. SMM, Kelsey C, Kazamiya, the all-knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad and Eric McDee. A group of reformed necromancers who only brings zombies back to fill out their subterranean endoteron theater group, theater in the ground. Wow, impressive. Giant monsters on the horizon. Thrath!

Burleigh T, J. Dragonborn, Joro the Innopropro, and Cody B. The Dispel Debs, a group of wizards who got really good at the Dispel Magic spell and just go around casting it on other people's spells. They are not popular, but they are respected. Hmm. Liam D. The Sandrayan, Ben A.

Feldonis, and Dave H. A sweet, half-fling family that accidentally touched a cursed object got transported to Indotera and have set up a very popular bakery. Honestly, business is thriving, and they love Lord Scythe's commitment to small businesses. Hmm, questionable. Qualifier, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, and Dustin S, the makers of Summon Phantom Speed, which is exactly what Fia needs to learn if she wants to summon a 1970 Chevrolet Cheveappelle to drag race a necromancer and steal their leather jacket. We believe in you, Fia.

Connor F the time walker to left eyes and DPC is awesome. The members of chill touch an Indotaran acapella group whose performances are so embarrassing you can't be healed afterwards oof be healed afterwards. Oof. Aston S. Blair, the bug- Blair- Blair- Blair- Porkchop, Chanel M. and Velaci Raptor. Concerned citizens who travel across elder mourn placing funny hats on unseen servants so that nobody trips on them. Thanks citizens, the spell is ruined, but the day is saved. Minnet F. Pat L. A Chuta A. Lauren H. and David M.

The Pompadudes! These brave stylists inhale over 10 gallons of hairspray a day in their pursuit of keeping Johnny's hair perfectly quaffed. Please, please, no one smoke around them. Elias Hawthorn, Alex H. The eldest berry, Evan V, Ryan S, and the bone duster. Hand ranchers who grew all the hands thrown by Fia and the boys. These nimble farmers weighed in graveyards and chopped off zombies' hands as soon as they burst through the ground.

That way, it's technically not graverobbing. Huh, smart. Robocrysps, Yedra-Sill, Brently Sea, Micah-B, Blo Yidra Seal. Brently Sea. Micah B. Bloops. And Carly Anne. Indoor skydivers who use ATHICOR's inverse gravity tower and a braided nylon rope to live life on the edge.

The spikes on the ceiling are an even better rush than that classic falling to the ground thing. Oh, hell yeah, I can feel the adrenaline pumping now. Laurie P. Seth AJ spam gaming the not-so-skilled gamer, Connor Savage and Christopher J. Pebble Pot. Preppy boarding school rogues who are heading to a school dance to beat up rundown Johnny behind the bleachers. When this Lord's Scythe battle is over, the real war begins. Leviathan Bioquart 7.

Rimington CD. Amber Dexterous, and Thrill of the Fight. Other enormous animated book dragons that Athacore Spell didn't fizzle on. They just became sentient and kind of realized he was a dweeb, so they bailed. Huh, thanks for that, Sullivan H. Trabhopdropper, Sydney T. Alex C. Jesse DLR, the Element God, and Lindsay W. Wizards who created Johnny's Aftershave. It doesn't have the same telepathic benefits as his hair gel, but it does take some pretty powerful folks to make something that smells this fresh.

Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Champ Wild, Vailin, Sprite Pepsi, Carlin Sea, Anthony S, and Jake. Chves who bake chips for Chrissy, and can attest that when they do it, there's way more smoke than what was coming out of the tower. These are Smokey Flavors fam. Ay, they're quite miskeet. CCA, Matthew J, TREP, Michael S. The Bone Duster, and Noah. Spiders climbing the stairs who fia absolutely blew past.

No need for spider climb on that elite specimen of raw athletic talent couldn't agree more. Go get it girl. Estelle, Baron S. Swastions' romance partner from the Baronies, Mr. Dude Sky conflicted DM and Justin L.B. Stadf familiars who are so fiercely independent that even when ATHICOR's team of interns was casting fine familiar over and over, it really only felt like a minimal buzzing in their ears. Wow, that's dedication.

Dandy, Jennifer R, Clifton A, Richard G, Im Barber, and Marcos P. The first wizards in Indotera to use feathers as wands, something that Atthachor immediately imitated, which makes sense because that's just what he does. Sorry I'll didn't get the credit, you truly deserve it. Pup Kalish, Gabriel M. Learned the Balanced Druid, Dakota JP, Pegos, self-proclaimed Fapreants, and Tracy P. The Crick-Elf Librarian. At the course, interns from the library. Aside from practicing fine familiar over and over again, they were also tasked with seeing what robes were popular these days. God, that's sad.

Andy E. Brett D. Scrunk-Pee Bogpipe, Holly, Anthony A, and Leah C. Mage-feet Manicurists You'd think there wouldn't be a huge need for them, but then you'd see how much Chrissy banged up that poor foot. Oh, it's a rate mess now! Abigail, Egg Infinitum, Sloth King 777, and Chungle Down Cowl. Phillips knew Grease Lightning Pit Crew. Everyone there has a very specific job, and it's egg infinitums to continually play the original Grease Lightning song on loop.

The most important job of all. Commodore Galaxy, Edison Inn, Russell H, Neos, and Lara R. Chris's old friends who haven't seen him for thousands of years and are currently waiting for him on the other side. Sorry y'all, but you got to wait at least one more day. Hopefully. And that is all of our shoutouts. Thank you so, so much to all of our council members.

If you would like to join the council, you can do so at patreon.com slash nad pod. We truly appreciate you and we will see you next week. Bye bye. That was a Hate Gum podcast.