Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 38: Ill Luck Henry

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

The Third Mates do battle with the Green Tween 40-somethings! Fia faces her most hated foe yet, Zirk tries to avoid his new nickname, and Henry learns the truth about his curse.  Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Music / Sound Effects Include: "A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford. "Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford.  "The Purge" by Emily Axford.  "Haunting Visages" by Emily Axford. "Hospitable" by Emily Axford. "Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford. "The Gunslinger's Girl" by Emily Axford.  "Winter Sprite" by Emily Axford. "Sir Reynard Wendell" by Emily Axford.    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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["Morning"] Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody! In Rio! In Rio! In Rio! I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz on the hunt for a twin named Bunt. Henry Hawkes.

Well, why are you on the hunt, Fulby? I will join your cause. We are friends. We are friends. No. You had your chance. Then of course, Emily Axford. Ready to intervene with these mean green twins!

Femalguinia! We're coming for everyone! We're coming for everyone who hates them so much. And then of course Carl Doltaner. Friend of Chrissy and drinker of pissy. Oh! Oh my god! Wow!

This is like me on the, uh, energy drink mixed bag. Gotta get that foliage jerk for being. It's actually piss. It's actually piss. Yeah, it's just a little, gurgle piss. I would not drink piss.

I want to complete the goo. I'm nothing if not thorough. Save it for the live show, dude. Honestly, in saying that sir drink piss to Impress 12-year-olds Actually, no, they were 45-year-olds in disguise, so it's actually really respectable It was an adult thing to do yeah What's worse? What is worse?

Stringing piss on a dinner party to impress people or drinking it to make kids laugh both are back drinking piss open stores Okay, that's all I'm saying saying it's called wheeling and dealing it's called it's calling and killing and killing over with poison because you drink piss all right everybody piss drinking is not the only thing that happened last time really really it's really it is hang on let me remove all mentions of it from the recap okay Okay, it's just Let's go ahead and do a little recap So last time the endo friendos freed some of their captured allies before

Ambushing the Lord's side while he was questioning their friend Eiser During the fight Chrissy was knocked out and Johnny had his hair tussled, but the friendos eventually prevailed after Billy's branding smite made the Lord's side highly visible despite his casting and invisibility spell. With the Emperor dead and some highly damning information sent by the third mates via the dimensional satchel, things are looking up for the endotarins. Actually, a funny pack, but go on. Meanwhile, the third mates ascended from the winter ring of Zabaldar to the spring ring. There, you met the green tweens, a group of 45 year olds masquerading as children. They took you to their tower fort where they attempted to dodge

your questions with promises of root beer and imaginative play. It's not even in the recap. Zirk won them over by drinking piss. Sorry, what Medjid did make its way. So through. My proudest moment. And finally, Fiya intimidated the leader Bunt into answering some questions about the fairie Leonora. Bunt revealed that Leonora had been missing for an undisclosed amount of time before you were all distracted by the tower being surrounded by sentient flowers. The tweens began freaking out and revealed that the two groups were mortal enemies.

After dealing with the green tween shenanigans, you decided to side with the flowers. And noble choice. A noble choice. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. This should be people's first episode to listen to. But also, I mean, think about it. Annoying tweens versus flowers in the real life. I think I go with the flowers. Yes, of course.

Yeah. Even regular teens in flowers. If anything, what are just like kind of becoming eco-terrorists? Yeah, there you go. Joining the flowers caused the 45-year-olds to draw on knives and surround you. And that's where we are now. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. I wanted it to come to this.

17! Seven tween, actually. Wow. Very good. I got a five. I got the tween's number, 11. Wow. We are a long way off from playing rogues.

And yet, we have just played them. So, since there are 12, I'm going to have them act on two separate initiatives. So at initiative 20, the first six are going to go after Zirk. You're gonna attack the piss drinker and the piss drinker's friend. I thought he was a legend. I drink piss. I'm fucking crazy You don't want to attack me? Apparently, um, it's gonna go in and fucking attack you with a dagger. What? Six of them are just gonna descend on the piss drinker. I knew it. I knew it. You turn on you turn on your king You knew it! I knew it! You turned on your king, twins!

You see like flashes of like old middle age traces as they go and start stabbing in toosers. Why did I think I could trust them? Okay, each of them makes two attacks. Any of them have lead pipes? No, just knives. All right, six dudes, two attacks each. Sir, you're AC a 17?

Oh, that's my AC exactly. Sweet, okay, hits. Four hits total. 27 damage. Oh, good god. And then they're all gonna take bonus action nights. After the six initial tweens, that's Fia's turn. Do you wanna give up or are're gonna kill the piss drinker? You're not gonna kill the piss drinker. I'm gonna kill you. You're making me really fucking pissed off.

Me? Yeah. Why? You stopped him from doing that. I'm going to cast- You guys yelled at us. I'm going to cast a 4K insane overreaction to that. You guys said you're gonna be on the flower side. You fucking picked them, they did nothing to you. And also, you're so fucking annoying. And I think you're like 45 and trying to be a child.

You remind me of some fucking 37-year-old guy still trying to be a fucking DJ and Williamsburg. And also, I don't think we need the name Pistrick or the stick, right? This did the Pistrick or he rules. The one thing we agree on. So I'm going to cast Summon Shadow Spawn at a fourth level. And it's going to cast Furyia.

And she's going to immediately come out and do her dreadful scream. So all of them have to do a wisdom saving throw. I'll say the six tweens that hid got out of like the 30 foot radius. The six tweens that hid got out of like the 30-foot radius. The six tweens that are still out there ready to attack with daggers. I have to do a wisdom saving throw DC 17 or B's frightened of the spirit. Three fails, three passes. Honestly not worth it just doing fireball in the future.

Hey everybody don't try to spay on. You can always just join fireball in the future. Hey everybody don't try to join us and fight the flowers Absolutely, I'm not going to fucking over my fucking dead body you fucking piece of shit Flowers go in the ground That you pick the flowers after they go out of the ground. Sometimes after fear that is the tweens turns Oh, no, there are three of them are frightened. Yeah, so they have disadvantage on all ability checks and attacks. Okay, so do they try to get out of it at all?

Or anything? Juddful scream, the frightened creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each turn. Okay, we'll do it at the end of the turn. Okay, so the three with disadvantage, the three framed ones will go after Hank. Two misses, first one against Hank 17 to hit on the lower one. Nope. Okay, second one misses both times third one 18 to hit on the lower one

Nope 20 to hit on the lower one last one that one hit okay, but yeah, I like that move Okay, I'm so mad at these little shit. I want to fucking like them on fire nine damage Okay, and then three are going to attack fear Two misses on the first attack 18 and a 19 hit from the second guy shield nice, okay, I think these guys. Well, what is your AC now? It is now 23. Uh, no hits. Uh, three guys, swing at you and miss. They're all going to take bonus action hides. Oh my god, I hate you little fags.

Cowards. Come out. Ah. They don't all. They're not all hiding well. Some of them have lower. You guys can do perception checks at the beginning of your turn.

Oh, that one's wearing socks and sandals. How do we think that was a kid? Haha. You guys are my age. It's got a wristwatch. It's just you and it's food fight time. Oh my God, I hate your voice. So why? What do you think that is, that is her story?

Okay, how many of them are hiding? Like all of them at this point? Oh fuck, they, I mean, they, not all of them got great hijacks. Okay, all right. Um, hmm. That's not a good idea. They are all separated, so you can only get one at a time. They're so annoying.

Oh my God. Buckle up. Buckle up, it's gonna be a long night. All right. As my bonus action, I'm gonna get Sprydall to deliver one of the potions I brewed while we were walking up the steps over to Fia This is gonna give her plus one to AC Brad

Thank you! And also 2d6 temp hit points Hi Mr. Rutherg, I missed you so much Yeah, well, I missed you too You guys like each other nerds I thought you were hiding, now I know you are, right? I'm the one who got a nine, I'm like,

Jess. Does he smoke? Does he come out of hiding? He has a nine. I see him with your badge of perception. It's like head is taken out. It's really nice having people around that make fucking sense. I'm going to seek out the easiest one to find.

There's two you see with your badge of perception. I grab them by the cuff of their neck and I'm going to use dispel magic by pouring a jar of piss on them Let's be fucking spiteful I huge to spell magic and instantly turns into a like 40 year old man They would tell you doing to me? Look, see? What? This is what you are.

Yeah, we know. Don't hide from it. I want to. Fucking hell is this where I come from? Hey, what the hell? That was your problem, man. Just chewing us a gun. Oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill you.

After a zirk, do you have anything else you can do sir? He's my bonus action. I think that's it. Three it's after sir. That is Hank sir actually wait now that now that this 45-year-old man has been revealed Yeah, I have to level with him. Yeah, what's up, man? Are your knees my knees? Yeah, they killed now, man Yeah, you want me to fix them? I want you to get the hell out of our towers. We can go back to playing and have fun. Oh, thank you. I'll show them. You're a fucking buddy. Yeah.

You're your middle age. You said I can have youth forever and you decided 12. That's the age. That's the glory days. Honestly, the fucking age I am is like fucking awesome. Because I jump. It's getting my page. What? We just want to run, run, and drink.

Oh my good lord. I guess I'll do a path. I don't want to attack the 40 old. I want to attack the 12 year old. You see another one that got a nine. Wait, can I also just put my gun at this 45 year old's head and say, call off your dudes. Go ahead and give me an intimidation check. Yeah.

That's a 19. 19. Let me do, I'll do like a bravery check for this guy. Okay. Not 20. I mean, you see, no! You see he goes. Yeah, he was a little bit...

I'll take 12 dudes with knives over one Pissed drink over the gun. Thanks so much. Wow Piss on him actually piss on it. Yeah, you're gonna drink it though You're a legend man. You gave it away Your priorities are so weird. Give it away. You could at it all You're so weird. You're so weird. You could have it all. I'm gonna attack a 12-year-old that's, uh, shitty at hiding.

Sweet. Uh, that's only a 13 to hit. Uh, 13 misses. Dodge out of the way. Are we playing? Are we playing tag? And you're just not very good? I'm going to take my second attack.

I have a huge fucking guys arm, and you have a- You have a guy's arm, and you're gonna punch me? I'm gonna punch fucking guy's arm and you have a- You have a guy's arm, you're gonna punch me? I'm gonna punch you, yeah, you have a fucking dork. You're a dork. It's a 17-day. 17 does hit. Okay, thank God. All of these guys had no really good AC.

I think I would take MERSH hat off and throw it out the window. That's only eight damage, but I will- He's gonna un- dodge it. Just take more. Fuck this. I am actions. You're fucking uncanny dodge you piece of shit. Uncanny dodge this action surge. 28th. I get it this time. You know out of character I'm so happy at how Murphy's just how giddy Murphy looks. Oh my god but I rolled so low on my damage. That's only a seven and then a 19 on the second. On the second attack. Yeah. And then that one's an 18 damage. Holy shit. Okay. This one dude looks fucked up.

Good. Then I'm gonna have a sh attack him. I'm gonna unleash the incarnation. Hey fuck this 45 year old kid That's what I'm saying Shank. That's why you rolled a 21 buddy. It's 18 damage again Shanklances this dude you killed one of the grid tweens man. Yeah for the flowers At the top of the order. Let's go ahead and roll a D4 to see how long until the flowers show up. Hmm. How many rounds? Well, I'll do it. It's huge. do it huge the flowers are just going to attack us too this is not a good situation I rolled the three the flowers are the stakes have never been ours for not gonna save you no they're going to attack us too this place sucks we go back to Oldwind after Hank?

We are in hell. This is the tween's turns. Played's attack. They are going to go after Zirk again. Yeah, sure. Six hits. Oh, okay. 52 damage, Zirk.

Still standing, but so upset. On the brink of going home. Fia, that is your turn. How many are hiding still? Because they didn't just hide. Oh wait, sorry, no, they're gonna hide at the end of the turn. I need you. I need you to do new hide checks hang on.

I'm going to do pulse wave. You create intense pressure and if they fail, then they move 15 feet towards me. So I'm gonna try and suss them out of hiding. And what kind of saves you to do can save You pull four of them out of Yes, everyone who fails takes 26 damage anyone who saves takes half that and everyone who fails gets pulled out

So not hiding for the next person good and then So not hiding for the next person and then Fioria is going to go and she's going to attack the frightened Ponderant great and she has advanced she has two attacks and she has advantage on the frightened creature 21 to hit hit 10 damage okay Hit again another 10 damage okay to the same creature okay again another 10 damage. Okay. So the same creature. Okay. And that's all I can do. And then she is going to run near her circle. So anyone who's frightened can't move near him. Got it. Oh, okay. Okay. Cuz they can't willingly move towards the creature that frighten them. Okay. The next six are gonna go. So all of them survived the 26 damage. Yes. They're hurt though. Fuck.

Freyend ones with disadvantage are gonna attack. Hank. One hit, 11 damage. 11 damage. Okay. And then there's three left that are not Freyend's. They are going to attack Fia. Shield. Just one crit that gets past the shield.

14 damage on the crit. Okay. After the tweens, that is Zerks turn. Okay. Bonus action, I will cast Healing Word using collateral healing. So I do a quick lick of my gun to get some of that healing juice. It's like, you know, when you fill a squirt gun full of juice

and you just put it right in your mouth. And then what I want to do is I hold up some vials with a brownish liquid in them You know, I do have a lot of mud that I gathered from the beadokave Okay, and I say oh I got some super special root beer here who wants some and then guy who tried to skill us and we're stabbing in I guess you are chickens. I guess I didn't realize that you were all chickens stab them and what I want to do is hold my action and then as soon as a bunch of them

rush in to stab me cast a web. Oh, cool. Right, great. Sweet, after Zerks turn, that is thanks turn. Yeah, how many can I see with my passive perception right now? Somebody, anyone that hit chitly? Oh, none of them.

God, you can do a perception check 22 you can see half of them and there's there's some that are hurt Okay, I'm going to hike up my shorts a little bit more let my nuts hang a little lower Yeah, I know you're true age you've seen these before you see them in the goddamn mirror I don't know what that I hope that one is hurt. I want to attack that one that's a lot of it you But I do want to attack one strategically that's hurt her cool. Okay Shout out to the two crew Oh, look at my tumble salt. That is a natural 19 on the second one,

the 29. Uncanny Dodge and take half. Oh my God, you are the biggest loser I've ever met. 11 damage, though, it turns into. There it was. I think better in hell, right? This is hell. So Shang's going to attack 17 hits.

That's 14 damage. You killed one. Great. Oh fuck, we're down to 10 now. So a lot of them are hurt though from the biggest thing. And in fact, that is the tweens. Five of the tweens are going to run forward. And you throw this web down. They will do deck saves.

First one. 19 passes second one 20 passes come on there's one 16 misses misses Next one that 20 passes. Come on. God nice one 17. That's it exactly The other four You my friend I pointed the one in the web. You fucked up. Go your friends up. Go them off now.

It was like funny until Zerrick got so fucked up. Yeah. You got to hit four times for 32 damage. OK, I'm down. You see these three stabs are going to lose down? I want to, I want this fight to end so I can slowly execute the ones that are in the left. I am absolutely going to make a fucking show of force with these fucking creatures. Via burn them alive!

I don't care! The flowers are two rounds away. Two rounds away. The flowers are just going to gum attack us. Um, I'm just going to fucking, I just need to bring these guys out because they can't be attacking with advantage and getting Sneak attacks, so I'm just going to fucking pulse wave between two and three again Four fails they're pulled out to want even damage to everyone that gets pulled out half that half that for anyone else who was in there Kill another one

you just three three are down to seven now now Fioria is going to go after the frightened ones there's only two left one of them down okay stop we're scared okay not scared enough 23 to hit that hits 18 one of them instantly half health. Okay. Uh, going to hit again. This time just 10 damage. 10 damage. Looks messed up. After Fiya. Sorry, Mr. Zerke, I want to bring you back up,

but I just like, don't know what we're gonna do. That is your tweens, sir. You guys get like attacks with their stupid things. Zerke, this isn't a world you want to live in. I always knew I would die this way. The two frayons twins at initiative six are going to run away. Are going to dash 60 feet out the window,

just fucking run towards the hunting and dancing flower. No, they're running away from the flower. You know what? No, fucking stay and fight. I don't want to fucking run away. I'm going to run. I'm going to fucking stay in the fight. I don't want to fucking run away. I'm going to run. I'm going to fucking range heat them. They're 90 feet away.

How many are left on? Then there's four left. There's a B for, yeah. We surrender. No, you don't get to do that. You don't fucking, you had every fucking I've been doing a bit to do that. Wait, put the other one in the web

and let the flowers take care of him. I'm gonna cross back out. I am going to fucking fireball these fucking bitches who are running away, and I will fucking crawl in the shower. Hank, that's your turn. Yeah, two fucking nights. You'll come run away and the ones in the web are just like, Leo Yield?

Um, it's me, Bunt, man. Hank has a- I'm actually shitting his mouth. Hank. Hank has a crossbow to shoot the ones that are running away Do it yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna take two shots with my crossbow That's a 19 to hit and they Ten to hit a second one designed only seven damage with the crossbow exactly seven damage left

You shoot one in the back and kill Fuck yes, yes, you're ruthless. Please and kill them. We're ruthless. Come on Fuck those kids, and then I'm gonna use that shank Feaked means fake tweens means shanks going to attack one that's in the web Shank rolled the natural one. Oh, Shank, this is, that is the tweensterns. Four of them are gonna make a break for it and leave behind one friend who's stuck in the web. Hey, they left me.

I just want you to know this is a referendum on your character. The left referendum, my character. I'm just trying to live the good old days. We just hang out with your friends, you bill forts. They just let me out. How bad were your later days? I had my later days. Ah, well, I never really lived them.

Imagine if you will, the lost boys just never aged and then suddenly one time somebody cast a spell and nobody became a 50-year-old man. I see. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'd never have a tiny responsibility for you. My back hurts. Yeah.

For no reason. The love bar. Yeah. Absolutely eats shit. No, it's bad. No, it's bad. Eat so much shit. For what reason, though?

Because you fucking suck. You suck. I do the training such a bit as turn. Okay. Bring me up so I can shoot it with my gun. I'm going to bring you up. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. You don't have to my gun. I'm gonna okay, I'm going to bring you up. I want to bring you up

You know, gotta do this. I absolutely do tell you. Yeah, I absolutely do Tony soprano now Hey, hey, hey, hey, you don't know where they're always Because I know what she is She's talking about I don't even fucking care right now It sounds like he's gonna give us some information. I really want to kill the ones that are running away Okay, they totally left me if you want to shoot butt in the back I'm fine with that. Do we have any kind of like healing I just like I can't I don't have anything have anything ranged and an ability to healing word, sir. Can I toss you my crossbow?

Doth me a fucking crossbow, please. Hey, she, she, no look passes this crossbow to, yeah, knowing that she will catch it. She's an elite athlete, she doesn't drop anything. Doth me a thing, a shot. Oh, I miss. Yes. And then I healing word, sir.

I don't even fucking care, I'm going to fucking stock these pages. Did you get them? Did we kill them? No, actually life is terrible. We killed a lot of them. After Fia is one of the surviving tweens from the second group is going to run. Oh, I use my movement to start running after them. Okay, sir.

That's good. That's good. Oh, you have a gun. Fia, how bad do you need this because I'll stay here and I'll get information. I'll get the information shoot somebody For real All right I point do we know the name of the one that's trapped in the web my name is Walter Madison First and last very good a proper introduction First and last very good a proper in a duck I actually feels like your real name and not your true name. All right. I'm a 45-year-old man guys

He's telling us the truth cool. We're gonna need you to I don't finish the sentence. I shoot him in the kneecap Roll integral with advantage. She's her saying it's gonna be 24 to hit So you said something about Lee and or he's totally dead. He was at like two hb after fiat And you shoot him and he dies. I bring it back to life I you shoot him if you want to spend a healing word you can bring him back Yeah, do it bring him back. Oh, why I told you I would tell you exactly where she is Yeah, I wanted to threaten me. I wanted to make sure. She's under the floorboards. She goes into books.

She's like magic and shit. She's super obsessed with stories, right? So she thinks a story needs to have a beginning and a middle and an end. But we, of the green tweens, personally believe that the beginning of the story is the best. So we like everything to stay the same. So one time she went into a book and we just strapped it up

and we kept it closed. We put it under the floorboards. Oh, that's it. You look under the fucking four boards here. You'll finally an aura. You know When we started this fight I Didn't really understand why you would hide like this, but then I realized All of us hide from things during our lives. I fire both the web Don't say you burn a man alive. You made truly the most hateable

combat ins possible. And then you act like we're savage. That is 45. Don't you dare try to redeem Walter Madison. No, you dare. Walter Madison has been murdered. I had a soft spot for Madison. I appreciate that he used this full name.

I am still running and I'm gonna fireball the eyes. That is Hank Stern. Hank there are five green deweens running away. Four of them are 60 feet away, one of them is 90 feet away. Okay, I mean all I can do is shoot them with the crossbow. God damn it, shout out to the two crew with that is also a 17 17 hits for blood. I mean they locked in Leonora up. So why not 11 damage kill another one Cool last

I'm gonna you to wait. Can I unleash the incarnation? Oh, yeah, I just gonna attack as as shank so I use the cross Can shank oh shank. I'll just shoot across both. Yeah. Yeah. Shank crit. Awesome. Okay. You shoot at one of these dudes. It's like do oh yes. 15 damage. Um shank shoots one in the back and finishes them. The only ones left are your old friends. Sleffani, Bunt, and Starlight explosion. The OG three. Those are the three that are running away. Those are the three we want that the most.

That is the tweens turns. They have already run 60 feet. They're gonna run another 90 feet. They're all 150 feet away. Wait, what? The dash action? Yeah, they have cutting action. Oh my God.

That is fiesta turn. I feel like we are supposed to be narratively above this I think Leonardo would say we write our own stories That's what I got a fucking feel like doing right now I know they all have fucking good decks and if they have a fucking evasion They're not gonna take any fucking damage from it. So all I'm saying is that we are deep within the earth in a dimmy plane. Nobody's gonna know what we do here. It's not even fucking shameful.

They're the ones who should be ashamed. Oh, deeply. You see the body of a 45 year old man? You covered it in the head. Okay, fucking, I fucking fireballed him. Yeah. I fucking fireballed him and I used my fucking movement to get closer. What did they get?

How many people saved? Tell me fucking right now. One saved. The other two failed. The crown shift. The fucking one that fucking saved. Failed. Failed. Failed.

Failed. Great. Bunt, starlight explosion and sleffony are hit by a fireball. Save Sleffeany for me. 28 damage and I know they've been hurt already. Sleffeany is dead. Starlight explosion. Oh wait! Starlight explosion and bun were only at 20.

Starlight explosion and bun are dead. You kill all three of them. You see, they dispel, turn into 45-year-olds and just crash into the woods. I have to say, I feel like, I feel like justice was fucking so hard. You guys? Shall we share a drink of your piss, Zerg? Yes, please. I love the fucking drink. It's actually limoncello. It's been lemon cello this whole time pouring out for a bunch You guys go back to the tower and cheers as you are surrounded by The corpses of tiny 45 year old stop trying to suddenly rewrite it so they sound

Trying to suddenly rewrite it so they sound sympathetic I'm not trying to read forty five year old you're in there for it. Do we see these flowers? Yeah, what I see that the tower is now Surrounded I hold up the head of a tween and I say we've You're a fucking enemy. I'm fia holds out the head of a bunch I'm who now we killed your enemy because we hated them as much as you possibly more indeed What a fucking enemy. Fia holds out the head of Bunt. Who now? We killed your enemy because we hated them as much as you possibly more. Indeed. This leader, Walter Madison, has been slain for Walter Madison.

A 45 year old man is dead in the webs. I throw Stephanie's body out the window. Bunt a different 50 year old has been dead. I know that you're scared to say his name, but fear no longer, Walter Madison is dead. My name is Phil Wagenia, I'm a bitch, and this is the greatest evil I've ever met. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage.

These guys really hated green tweets. I have a minus one. I have a zero. Zero as well. Well, I am holding the head out so it probably should be me. Can I use like tinkering to cause a little smoke to appear behind her? No. I got an eleven. An eleven.

An eleven advantage. Okay, you shout that out and you see after a moment a little flower holding a sword and a shield rides a bunny. Tell us any of your causes and we will fight for them. I kind of just want to go to sleep for a while. Mission is accomplished in this tower, but the sweet little flower on a bunny with a tiny sword. He runs out and he goes, I do not know if I can trust you, but I am Sir Captain Teeny Pedals. I came to Parley with the green twins to free the fairy queen Who are you? States your name and your purpose?

My name is Fia Bouginia. I am a witch and these twins are the greatest evil I've encountered yet And I say that as someone whose father tried to kill her They have trapped our queen. We share your purpose. Yes, we. They've trapped Leonora. We're also seeking Leonora. We look for her too. Indeed, we are on voice of the trickster herself.

This guy drinks piss. Sir Captain. Ha ha ha. Legend, indeed, I drink the piss so that it won't go into the ground. You said I could do the piss trick. You see, Sir Captain, teeny pedals,als enters a tiny flower man riding a bunny. I put out food for the bunny.

The bunny starts eating them. Please don't do that. Sorry. I put out more food. The bunny keeps eating. I've asked you. I've asked your friend not to do that. We have water for you.

Mr. Flower. Me? I actually would love some water. Thank you so much. I eat water. Thank you the green tweens were a great evil Without us. Yeah, we do not disagree Who are you? What brings you to the spring ring? We are looking for Leonardo as am I We know where she is In his dying breath Walter Madison revealed the secret to a sir captain teeny

pedal spits Walter Madison I spit as well and then I you fucking and then I swing my guys arm at the floorboards yeah everybody go ahead and give me investigation checks with advantage I'm sorry that our spit is yellow because we drink this all right. All right. It's a 21. 22. 18.

You guys start kind of hitting the floorboards. Walter Madison said that this book that Leonardo was trapped in was hidden beneath the floorboards begin hitting the floorboards with like your guys arm and your weapons and stuff. And eventually you hear a hollow sound. My Lord, wait, it could be a trap. I put my hand in front of the flower king.

I'm just a knight, but thank you. I appreciate it. A Lord nonetheless. Wait, how do you know that I'm the prince? It's a secret. You are the prince. I bend my knee and hold out my hand for a kiss sir captain teeny pedals Kisses kisses your hand and goes. I'm not ready for leadership. I'd like to see the world. I

Totally understand I sniff where he kissed my sounds like flowers Wow, just to be just to be clear. He is so my dad are five inches tall Just to be just to be clear he is so my dad I don't know what 5 inches tall I don't doubt it Yeah, no does he have a face or is it just a flower? No he's just a flower He's actually just a flower So how tall is his sword?

The sword? 3 inches long? Wow Awesome I don't think I was gonna be good Just wanna know what kind of damage the sword does Would you like me to attack you? Yes If you insist 3 damage about the kind of damage the sword does. Would you like me to attack you? Yes.

If you insist, three damage. He's tapped you for three damage. Oh, that's cute. What was? I said, fearsome. My God. I said, acute. I'm sure it's Captain Teeny Pedals

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Yes. I do want to put my ear to it and see if I can check for traps. Sweet. Another investigation? Perception investigation. Could I use my tool expertise? How would you be using tools? I would probably be knocking on it, seeing if I hear any mechanisms, maybe even by sticking

something into the right on That's gonna be a 20 30 20. Um, you hear the sounds of something rocking back and forth it doesn't Feel like a trap though. Maybe she's shaking about in that book. Hmm. Let's try open this. Okay. Yeah, this plank Let's go. I think we just go to town ripping up all the floor boards. You rip open the floor. Let's destroy their fort. Yeah, absolutely. Well, actually, this was the Queen's tower. Oh, they ruined it. Got it. I've ruined it again. Okay. You got it. You guys still rip up. Hey, how dare you? You see, um, captain Tiniqados. How dare you? How dare you! You see um Sir Captain Tini-Cuttles. How dare you? Um you guys open up the floorboards and you find a book with a strap around it and it is moving. And you see that the title of the book is illuck Henry. Whoa. Oh. Can I cast Remove Curses on it? Or like do an Arkana, too?

Yeah, you can do an Arkana check. You're gonna do anything. 24. You don't get the sense that a Remove Curses would really help. You don't get a sense that the book is cursed. As it flaps back and forth, based on what Walter Madison told you, you get the sense that Leonora,

the way she like goes into these stories, is she can like travel into a book, and these green tweens literally just tied the book up behind her and kept her stuck in there. So she can't open it. Then I handed to Henry. Okay, yeah, I don't know if this is gonna to be a tale that I want to read, but we got a Get Leonora out of here.

So Henry unwraps the book. Sweet. You unwrap the book. And you see as soon as you do, the book wiggles itself open, and there is this burst of green energy. And when your eyes adjust, you see this spring fairy, Leonora bursts from the book. She's short and heavy set, beautiful flowing green hair that's full of flowers. She wears a dress made of dark green leaves and her skin is a lighter shade of green. She also wears these cat eye glasses that magnify her already big expressive eyes. And you see she looks around and she goes,

what are those twins doing to this place? Whatever they did we got them back for it. Good, whatever you did to them the mom, short wasn't enough. I would agree. She sees Walter Madison. Oh my God, it wasn't enough. You've burned Walter Madison alive. Do we have your blessing, yes or no? Yes, you do, of course. That's right, because he probably got the best of it. Okay. This place is disgusting. How can we concentrate in a place like this? I mean, you see, she flicks her wrist. There's this burst of magic that instantly

tighties up the tower. It goes from being this shitty clubhouse to being a Pinterest writer paradise. You see bookshelves go all the way up the tower. It is filled with plants and moss. You see, there is is a it was broken before and kids were just like swinging around on robes. You see there's a spiral staircase that now leads to a higher floor. You see like Mary Poppins, her dress like pops like an umbrella and she begins

flying up. Follow me now everyone. Okay. I tried to climb a like book ladder. Oh yeah, you climb a ladder up. Oh Miss Leonora, are you a writer as well as a reader? Of course, yes! What have you written? Henry Hogfish! You know who I am. We've read it together!

What do you write? I have something to do with it. Yes, of course! Tell, I'll show you. The book, Bring It With You. You see she's wrapped up to the second floor. Do you mind if I grab one of these Kim X's? Brew some coffee?

Of course, yes. Great. Sweet. You guys brew some coffee. You got a whole room of them. You guys get up the spiral staircase that goes to the higher floor. And when you get there, you see that there is this big desk

built out of a living tree that just She didn't like cut down a tree. It's literally a living tree that is like curved and naturally To be a desk You see the desk has like papers and fresh quills dipped in ink and in front of it are huge windows that overlook fields of grass and an ocean in the distance. She sits down and she leans back in her chair and she goes,

ah, it is so good to be back. Henry, yes. Good to see you again. I've been keeping a close eye on your progress though, not entirely by choice. Progress, what is, have you been trapped in my story for a bit? Would you oh? Of course you do you only know your chapter you only know your current chapter my current chapter. Yes

I don't I know nothing because you again and again and again and again. Yeah, tell her tell her shank Yeah, it's just kind of the same thing over and over again I see turns it to old shank Ha! This guy be a loveless guy Oh, he's back! I thought that my spirits were destroyed by the twins but old shank Ah, the curse brinner And she goes yes, that is the hang I remember most of all that's the one I met old old tank old tank Of course, that's the original hang that's the one that shank is embodying old tank is the one that met you indeed. I haven't met you

No sort of now. I'm meeting I've met you before though many times. Please tell me all right This might be presumptuous, but could you tell us by us going on a book adventure? Right, okay. Yes Why don't we go back into the book? Even though I just was trapped in there for like 10 years Honestly 10 years to me that's really nothing. I've been alive for a long time But 10 years I'm pissed. I'm going to get those green twins as soon as I can get my hands on the Other than my god Even Bunt

My god, well, it wasn't easy. Yes, really the most hateable They're awful see a story needs to have a beginning in middle and an ending and they just want to do the beginning over and over and over and over and over again Yeah, we saw that's not what story is you need to grow old you need to learn things and we say die when you to pass on I remember me. I'm a fairy. I will live forever That is fine. I'm a storyteller I assume to the rule my story is that I did not write stories about my self-arrayed stories about interesting people like you I'm interesting of course you're interesting. Please you're interesting. I'm very interesting. Yeah You taught us knots. You taught me how to swim you taught how to swim. Henry Pats is Fanny Pack proudly.

I guess I am pretty cool. Yes. Anyway, Sir Captain Teeny Pedals, would you mind watching this book and making sure no trouble makers strap it closed while we're inside and trap me for another decade? Ha ha ha real quick. He's actually a sword, it's really weak. I say this would really quietly, just to Leonore. Sir Captain TD battles?

He's the Prince. He's the Flower Prince. Yeah, well, a lot of princes are not as good as knights if you know what I mean. Better this pamper. He's so nice. Furia stays out for a while, so why don't I leave Furia out here as well?

You do look outside and you do see that there are like two thousand hours. I still leave fury out here. I can also put a gliff of wording that will explode if anyone tries to come to your us. That'd be great. Let's take a sec. Security.

Yeah, of course. I would personally trust their Captain Teeny Pedals. But why don't I entrust the gliff to Captain Teeny Pedals? Thank you. Indeed, might I inscribe it upon your shield? Please do. Holds up a absolutely tiny shield. The rabbit is still eating.

Zirk puts on like 12 pairs of pinstances. Ha ha ha. Um. Uh, you, uh, put a little glyph on the shield, um, and she goes, well, um, been lost in there for a long time, but I suppose we could jump back in. This is an event. I usually don't have people coming to me, but redemption story. This is perfect. This is I fucking hope so. Shall we go in? Yeah, I'm ready. All right. How do we do it? I just

do I step in? No, I take you in you Can I bring my other books in to the book? Sure, yes of course book on book. Oh, do you want to whenever you carry do you want a summon Philip for this? It would take an hour. Okay. I can't wait an hour if you'd like to meet something the Kim X is still brewing I was stuck in a book for ten years. Mm-hmm. Okay, then I take an hour to summon feel you guys taking hour I do need to to summon the emotional courage to do this shit. Thank you. You think about it for a long while I regain more than seven hit points. Yeah, fill up comes back. Well, where the fuck are we? So we are in what from what I can understand hell what from what I can understand help right it's the worst thing this looks around at all like the bookshelves and everything it's just like

although this would be like a place that you would like wait yeah no this is this is a great place we've got some really terrible combatants that I wish you were there for because you could have absolutely fucking scalded them with your wit yeah okay so it's devastating to me but you weren't there so you know could have absolutely fucking scolzed them with your weird. Yeah. And so it's devastating to me, but you weren't there. So, you know, we're making do, we're making do. But now we're going to jump inside a book and start flapping.

Shit, book in a book. Book in a book. Book in a book. Okay. All right. Shall we keep going? Yeah, very well. Yeah, let's do it.

We had more questions about inception, but go on, right on. Grab all of your hands and you guys enter this book. Zirk and Fia. So all of you guys see Henry aboard a ship in the middle of the ocean. This is old Hank. Older than the Henry, we know and love.

He is older here, but it is unmistakably Henry. You see, the crew of this ship is gathered around a young woman who they have subdued and are planning to throw overboard. Fiya and Zerke, you guys start seeing this from Hank's perspective, but you don't have the memories that come with it. So you guys are just watching a first-person movie. So now you guys kind of travel into Old Hank's body, but Hank, as you watch this, the memory comes rushing back to you and you feel like you are there. You see this woman named Olette has been on the crew for a few months and you've grown quite close to her in a short amount of time. You are the third mate. You are low enough in the pecking order to not get any respect, but high enough that most of the guys resent you.

So you are not popular on the ship. Perfect. But you have bonded with a let over feeling like an outsider. She was running away from her village for life at sea, and she got along better with you than she did with the other crew members. And she quickly kind of became like a surrogate daughter to you. Like she's around like 25 years old, you're like in your 60s, you never had kids. This very much felt like a piece of your life that was missing that now that now you had.

And she actually confided in you something that was like quite dangerous information. She confided in you that she ran away from her village because she was able to cast strange magic. Oh fuck. And you kept her secret. But one day she was discovered by another crew member and was quickly brought before the captain who sentenced her to be thrown overboard. Back then it was seen as bad luck to cast magic on a ship. There was a saying, a witch on deck, a fix for a wreck. And it was basically like, it's a bad omen and you guys had been having like storms. You had been like terrible fishing,

not able to get what you needed to get, not being able to provide for yourselves on top of it being like quite dangerous, and she was blamed for it. So you're watching this happen. You see a let, she's screaming as they carry her. You see this woman with silver hair, she's yelling and she's going, I didn't

do it on purpose, I can't control it, I promise. And Hank, you are an old man. You know there is nothing that you can do to stop it. You are physically not capable of beating up the entire crew and you are for sure not popular enough to dissuade them. But still you want so badly to intervene but your body is frozen. You see she is dragged to the edge of the boat and you feel this rush of courage. You step forward to say something but the words catch in your throat, and you have a moment of rationalization. This is futile. If I say something, I'll die too, and she wouldn't want that. This hesitation is all it takes. She's thrown overboard, and she dies in the ocean alone.

own overboard and she dies in the ocean alone. And the moment she goes overboard, you regret it. You realize you were wrong. It wasn't futile, because even if she would have died either way, she would have died knowing that someone cared about her, she wouldn't have been alone, and you are going to regret this for the rest of your life. But that is not far away Henry Huggfish. A few days later, which or no which aboard a storm hits and the boat is capsized, and as you float in the water, fatigue giving way, you think to yourself, if I could go back, I would have done something. And suddenly, the ocean stops moving, and you are frozen in time. You no longer have to struggle to stay afloat. And suddenly you see, Leonora, the Great spring fairy, the patron of storytellers and

avigators. You have seen statues of her, you have said prayers to her, you have songs about her, she is real, she stands on the water above you. If you could do it all again, you'd be different, you say. Yeah, yeah, I think so. You see, she kind of spins around thinking about it and she goes, I do love a redemption arc, but you know that 99.9% of people who say that they change don't actually change. I just don't know that you're protagonist of material Henry. I get that. Like give me a shot, huh? Give you a shot. Alright, alright, okay. I'll tell you what. I'm not going to write a bad story. We're going to keep throwing out drafts until we get this right. Okay, over and over and over again, repetition, tell it's perfect, until it's perfect.

I, I, oh, will let that give me that chance those many chances I'll get it right eventually. You see she sends her hand. Here goes nothing I shake it you shake it and you see as she shakes your hand a bunch of sprites surround your hand and a fairy promise is made. She disappears and Henry drowns. He is born again the next day, a newborn version of the same body. Just his parents happened to name him Henry. They just felt inspired to do it. And as he grows older and becomes a sailor, he decides to take on the name Hogfish. Henry Hogfish. He makes the same mistakes and he dies. Rinse and repeat. Over and over and over. Until now, you get flashes of you helping Sib when they were about to be executed. Flashes of taking the oath to be ablade. Flashes of helping your son evacuate West precinct.

More importantly, flashes apologizing to your son and making steps towards getting better and in all of these visions, the one thing that is consistent in the good memories for the bad ones is that you're with your friends via insert. You did have the courage in you all along, but you couldn't do it alone, and now finally, you aren't alone. You, whoo, are spit out of the book. And you all come back around Lee and Orr's desk. Oh boy, oh boy, I get it, I get it now. Yes, I didn't realize this was going to be an ensemble piece, but truly, what an ending.

I thought Zirk was gonna die at that one part. That would have been exciting but it would have been kind of cheap. Don't you think? Which part? I feel like I'm more like a child. If you box order killed you? Oh that one.

Oh, that one. Oh, that one. Oh, that one. That one. Oh, that one. That one. Oh, that one. That one.

Oh, that one. That one. Oh, that one. That one. Oh, that one. That one. Oh, that one. That one. Oh, that one. Oh, that one. Oh, you know, I can... I mean, she can't say it, can't I? No, no, no, you can because she knows. This is... it's like when you were talking to Owen, it's like when you talked to, like, Kenley or anything.

As you say, Saronesis and she hears it, and she goes, you know about Saronesis. And you see she's, like, trying on the words. I thought I wasn't allowed to talk to you about that. You seem to have gotten around it somehow. Yeah. It seems like we've gotten around a lot of things. So a let was serenesis, and now arena is serenesis.

I couldn't protect her then, but maybe I can protect her now with help. Beautiful. I guess I'd love to know what happens after this story ends. Oh I don't know we started a new one or maybe maybe my story finally ends. I never knew if I was who I am because I was cursed or if I was cursed because of the person I am. And maybe it's not a curse at all. I just, what you gave me was a blessing. It's another chance and a chance after that. And now you guys are here.

And fuck it, the odds might finally work out. Yeah, I think Shank is a writers assistant. I had no idea. I don't pay you enough. You see, Shank appears and goes, we truly are blessed. And hugs, Hank. You're my best friend, buddy. You're my best friend.

And also you're my best friend. And you're my best friend, Hank. Don't forget my daddy's spoon. Oh, look at that little spoon that doesn't move most of the time. And you see, Leonora looks like choked up and she claps, and she goes, yes, yes, the sort of circumstances around your personality often put you in situations where you are around people who maybe didn't support you,

but thank you to Fia and Tizirk who are truly part out the best in Hank. And it is a pleasure to meet both of you. Wonderful characters. Oh, well, hey, I suppose so. Thank you. I mean, I'm kind of like forged by books, so... Yes, indeed. I can't wait to see what you do to Maksora to get Bookfar back. Have you ever seen a bookworm that just had that raw athletic ability? I've never seen that before. Yeah, it's a good old...

Insane, yeah. This is the interesting thing that got me. Do you know anything extra about Bookfar in Maksora? She nods and she goes, Well, I only know as much about Bookfar as you know. I've only been sort of a passive viewer of your story. But as far as Maxora aka Heredicia feels crazy to say that I normally am not allowed to tell people these things. As far as Heredicia, I know that she has been hell-bent on conquering the material plane for a long time, and at one time she wanted to come back to the groves. We did not want her back, and she has now taken it out on us as well.

She has destroyed a few of the groves, turned them into scorched groves, and has filled them with undead. She has no actual connection to the Reaper, but uses his name to inspire fear in people. In fact, you might be wondering why the people of Endotera are awakened, why they're not like the horrors of your world. That's Heradicia's doing. Heradicia woke them? To what end? Because she doesn't need to control them with magic, she can control them with fear. She needs followers. Exactly. Zombies are not...

Zombies are in no way comparable to... She needs a sophisticated art. To people who can build a society. But, though you saw through her eyes, how that backfire for her, the awakened have kind of ralling against Lord Cife, or is this all part of her plan as well. It does appear that the Awakened have gotten a boost, but it's still not 100% that the revolution is going to totally work.

And also, I'd argue that you would have had an easier time just killing a bunch of zombies. It's true, zombies can't build a city. Zombies can't build weapons and rally other zombies to their cause. Indeed. I have another question if that's okay. Of course, since we're allowed to speak freely now and it seems like no topic is off the table, do you know where the Reaper and the Trickster have gone? Where the Elder is even? As far as I'm concerned, they're essentially dead to us.

The difference between my magical power and your magical power is great. I'm one of the greater fairies. The difference between me and someone like Serenesis or Heredicia is quite great, and the difference between them and the gods, the trickster and the Reaper, is another degree of great. I won't pretend to understand our exact origin story. It has been told that a creator created three siblings and that the elder awaits us on the other side. But Leonora as a storyteller, perhaps you might say to us stop asking about gods because were they to intervene, perhaps that would not even be the most satisfying story for you.

that would not even be the most satisfying story for you. You see, she shrugs her shoulders and she goes, I believe the real evil is the evil that lives within every human, but also the fairies. You heard about how we fucked up with Zobodar, right? Oh yeah, yes, yes. I actually voted against that to be cool. No, but I'm still, you know, we generally are a collector. You're record is clean, okay? I wasn't gonna say anything, but, to be cool. But still, you know, we generally are a collector.

You're record is clean, okay? Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but all I just, just because it came up in. And you can go in, Owen wants you to return his calls and come to visit. Oh, yeah. Owen of course voted for it because he wanted to bring them all here to protect him. Yeah, and to be fair to him, he is protecting them right now because they would go mad with all the spirits running around. It is a cursed place.

Oh, while we're returning calls, we do have this magic fanny pack that we're using to shuttle knowledge to our friends. Of course. So that they can topple the empire of the disciples. Would you like me to literally hand over my autobiography that they could just use for a great deal of fairy knowledge? Henry just nods and unzips the Fanny pie. I see she opens a giant series of

tomes that look like a like collection of encyclopedias stuff them in they'll fit the team likely gets them on the other side I only ask about the gods because I'm attempting to build a spell that would essentially break the cycle of rebirth in an attempt to Bring someone back to life. Oh, break the cycle of rebirth in an attempt to bring someone back to life. Oh, illicitly or not. Um, and I worry about the repercussions of that. Well, if it were just to bring someone back immediately after their death, I don't think it would affect them too much because they wouldn't have been gone long enough for anyone to have moved on. It wouldn't psychologically destroy anyone. It wouldn't be manipulative. I've seen a problem with it. Okay. All right. You've got my vote. I've got your vote. We both have each other's vote.

There are enough. But yes, I think the hope of the fairies and now that I can share this with you freely, is that serenesis will not hold the same resentment that heredicia does towards the groves and towards humanity as a whole. There are fairies who hate humanity. I am not one of them. I find you endlessly interesting, but my sister, Kalista, point that out, yeah, that's what we got. We got to talk to her, to her next. Yes, that is likely to end in violence, but do you have any messages for her?

Yes, tell her to fuck herself, I guess. Okay, I feel like we will definitely like kind of hold that one for a bit. I think there's gonna be a well timed moment to say that though. In all the stories of Syrenesis that you've read, does she ever get angry at humanity for what they did? Does she ever share her sister's anger? The sister always remembers she always forgets,

but in some of her stories does she learn and read and in discover her sister's anger. If you're talking about the dream that you had, I did think she seemed quite angry. So do you think that us sharing this information with her, that it will potentially drive her closer to her sister? Sushi's size and she goes, perhaps it's selfish of us, that without the trickster, without Zaronesis, we're unable to undo our mistakes. So I would like to see her power realized so that she can help Zoboldar, help the cycle. Oh, to be clear, I would never hide it from her. I just am preparing myself for how she might react. And I figured you have access to much precedent. Well, I think

Well, I think, fear Bogin, yeah, I would ask you to help her. I think you are perhaps the most important person and the most apt person at being able to help Sarenesis control her power. She is this girl, arena, that is her. She has the power and the memories of Sarenesis. If it overwhelms her, I don't know totally how she'll react. But she is the girl you knew. If it helps, just from what I know of you and her, you're more of a sister to her than Herodesius has ever been.

Hmm. Yes, it's been so long, though, and so much has changed. But she came to you in your dream. Things always change. That's what things are supposed to do. That's how discoveries are made. That's how progress propels us forward. Mr. Reserve, are you going gonna make me say it? Maybe I don't fucking wanna be your sister. Okay. Hahaha. Oh my god. Oh my god. She holds her hands together and she goes,

I have been shipping you to since day one. No, you're not gonna want to say it. I get. All right. What do you, I'm sorry. I don't, an inside check. Okay. Okay, good. I got to do the Samsung. Yeah, you can do the Samsung. That's a 17 for Zirt. I'm doing one too. I'm 11 for me. Well, my Eleven you guys can kind of tell you guys see it fias cheeks get rosy

No, it's all right drop it sir. We don't yes, it's okay Yeah, can I jump back into the book if you like? I'm jumping in the And did you did you know this? I don't know how to find it out in real time, and I just fucking react into it more normal You go back in time And you see a young Henry Hogfish wearing a gene jacket covered in straps. Henry's knocking on the book. We have to get you this down to try to change the conversation out there.

We have to jump out of the book and say, I just saw Mr. Henry eating his fucking denim jacket. Tell him not to leave the toilet. Tell him that Lee. Tell him that Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee.

Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee.

Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, man, Lee. Oh, the autumn ring. Sienna is up there. She guards the flower crown that Sarenesis once wore and if worn by the current incarnation of her, I believe that it will awaken awaken her memories. It is my hope that she would help us and that she would return the souls back to the cycle and fix old Zelbaldar and undo the shame of

the fairies, but I do fear that Herodicia could convince her to get revenge. So crowning her will be a follow-up trial experience. We haven't had a serenesis that was this powerful ever. She has never been reincarnated into a channeler with this much raw magical talent. Okay. Can you oversee a fairy promise for me? Of course? Make them promise not to say anything that they just saw on my face. Okay, this is all gonna be a secret She has a crush on arena. No, you can't say it. Well, we haven't made the promise a huge thinking crush No, I did not say crush. I did not say crush. all I said was maybe I don't want to be sister.

You don't want to be sisters. All right, you want to leave it open. Great. Okay. So you have to make a fairy promise. I just want to put on the record. I will, I'm a fucking lock box regardless of fairy promise. I'll do it if it'll make you feel better.

Okay. You know what? I have traveled long and far with you. No need for a fairy promise. Just, you know, just don't spill the beans. Fear, you've seen my jacket. I've also seen your nuts. You're watching me.

You truly, you're a destruction. You've also seen me spill a lot of beans at the campfire. Henry looks at his shorts. Oh my god. Why did anyone say any? I gave you a South. I gave you the South. They're so chat. I thought it was for my thighs. They've said it's many times. I'm sorry. Hank. So you have pants in this library. I've seen your balls through the same time. Honestly, they're like two more to get actors in the story. When you said ensemble piece, I thought you were talking about nuts. Oh, my God. I'm mortified.

Oh, I tried to gene Jack around my waist. Well, it is likely that if your friend, Arena, is going to meet you here, she likely has enough raw magical power that she can just teleport to where she needs to be. So there's a good chance that she may be up on the autumn ring even as we speak. I'm not sure. How do we get there? I can get you to the next ring, but Callista is dangerous. Could you do like a guardrail and an escalator this time? Because all one could only do a guardrail. I can do a guardrail, I can do an escalator, and I can offer you a boom. A boom?

A boom? Oh a boom. Wait, if Calista is dangerous and the Rina's up there, is I mean, is she in danger? Ah, I don't know how Calista would feel about Cerenesis specifically. She's more anti-humans. Okay, all right, all right.

But it seems like Cernaceus will be able to teleport right past Kalista. It's likely. That was about this boon. Hank, you see she reaches into the thick leaves of her dress and pulls out a small bag of seeds. You see she pours them out into her hand and there are six seedlings sitting there. Little green sticks poking out from their shells. Little baby druid, I mean little baby dry out. No, but that would be an amazing gift wouldn't it?

It would be. Just to give you a bunch of children. Actually, there's sounds like a lot of response to it. Yes, you know, it would be a bunch of children. Actually, there's so much I've got to respond to. Yes, it would be a lot of fun. I'm kind of leaving my life for a while. Trees that are also people, yes, too much, too much. No, that's not what this is. Listen, I realize that you are probably under a bit of a time restraint, but you will

be facing great danger in that time, and this will rejuvenate you as if you've had a full-nights rest. In the amount of time, it would take you to catch your breath. She hands the six seeds to you guys, and mechanically, these are seeds that will give you a long rest in the time. It takes you to do a short rest. So you can't just pop it. You can't pop it mid-battle,

but you can do it while you're kind of like on the move. This is my kind of trail mix. Oh yeah, this would take a long time to crunch down. Fuck it, I'll pop too. Please don't you die, you'll die, you'll absolutely die. It's like chugging two monster energy. Um, and yes, if you remember in campaign one, I gave items like this to the party, and they popped the mid combat so they have been fixed

I need to take a short rest Wow, I don't remember that you need to do a short rest and then you see and she goes oh and one more thing for each of you Um, and you see she runs over to a bookshelf It looks like she's going over to the bookshelf, but that she's also casting a spell as if the bookshelf is like a spellcasting focused for her. You see she reaches in and three new books up here, and she brings these over to you guys, and you see that they are three personalized training manuals. You see it says like, Leonora's guide to Zurc like Leonora's guide dessert Leonora's guide DeFia Leonora's guide to Henry. Interesting. This is very special. I was totally kidding. I'm gonna I'll crack mine open. I'm very interested to see what you know.

Yes, I don't mean to be rude but if you give someone a drink they drink it. If you give someone a book they read it right. So do you mind if I just take a second to depart from this conversation oh she's already sitting down yeah she's already reading a different book oh I'm sorry what I read my book you guys open your books and as soon as you do memories flash before your eyes that never really happened, but you remember them anyway. You remember having spent weeks in Lyonora's tower training under her. Training in combat with the elite flower nights. I know kung fu. Reading through manuals and books, being coached on spell casting. And when you guys close the book, you feel like you have actually lived that experience.

You feel muscle memory that you didn't have before, as well as knowledge of spell casting. You all were going to level up for passing the two rings of spring and winter. But now you're going to also level up from this. So go ahead and level up for passing the two rings of spring and winter. But now you're going to also level up from this, so go ahead and level up twice. What? Whoa!

Oh, wow. I forgot to blink that entire time. Oh my goodness. So it's a Twelfth? Yes. Zirk instantly drinks poison just to see what happens. No, you're not. God's.

We'll find out in approximately 30 minutes. That's my gastrointestinal cycle. That's a hell of a boon. Thank you, Leonora. Thank you, Leonora. Daddy's feeling lucky. Leonora, you're a fantastic writer. Oh, thank you so much.

You're fantastic characters. Yeah, I like that bit where we were all under the waterfall meditating. Ha, ha, ha. Can I ask you a question, Leonora? Of course. How many lives did I live from the first time we met until now? What was his most embarrassing death?

I want to know. That's just for Henry and I to know. I'd dive into the book. I'd dive into the book. I'm going to go ahead and roll a D100. Wow. No fucking, hey, that's hot and heavy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. 69th time is the charm, hopefully. So whenever you're ready, I can help you ascend to the next level.

Before we go, I'm going to open up the Fanny Pack and send a little note to Billy, just saying, miss you. She sends back so much money. Oh my gosh. Holy shit. I'm like Sonic the head jog here. Point is spilling everywhere. Yeah she sends back a warful sword. But I can't quite get the I can't get the hilt out of the Fanny pack, so I have to push it back. Yeah, I mean, does this mean it's more official? Yeah, there's too much gold and gear, and it doesn't fit. So you guys have to push it back. If we are going to, if we're going to like get a long rest

or did we get one from leveling up? You did not get one from leveling up, but you have two each with these seeds that you guys can now put in your inventory. Yeah, we're gonna have to chop a seed. But maybe not. Should we do it now? Should we chop the seed right now? I mean, we've got two more things to do, right?

We have some other fall. Those tweens kicked my ass pretty hard. I guess it's probably a time to have a short rest, but I would love to get my spells back before we ascend. You guys can always take a regular short rest and then decide later. I mean you might get ambushed as soon as you go to summer, but you might have a few minutes to gather yourselves. It's kind of up to you guys. I haven't used my arcane recovery yet, so I might hold off on using these. I'll hold mine too. I'm just like a short rest classic great

Yes, we're gonna start denoting that it's a short rest classic or a short great rust expanded I'm going classic. I will could use a little wind right now. He uttered it, you know? Yeah. Spoony hops up into Hank's pocket. Hey buddy. Oh, it's good to see you buddy. Come on, come here buddy.

You're a good spoon. You're a good spoon. Come here. I give him a spoon spoon. And I'm out. That spoon is getting lost in his khakis. I have to be careful not to put the spoon in the fanny pack because then it will be billies. And she already has so much. Maybe I'll, you know what, if we're taking a

moment, maybe I'll reactivate my refueling spell ring so that I can get a third level slot back. Nice. That should hopefully put us in a better position for our battle with Calista whenever that comes. Are we going straight up to Samar? Leonor nods. Hmm. Now, will we ascend on a stairway made of books or do you have something else in mind?

Any good storyteller knows to show not tell. I'm not going to tell you before I magically bring you to that place. Sirk looks out the window to see if there's a stairway of books over there. There is no stairway of books. You see she looks at her watch. Also when storytelling pacing should be kept in mind.

Okay, I'm ready. Let's go. Let's go. I'm ready. I look at Sirk. We have daggers in my house. Leonora, um, uh, bowest to you guys, um, and she goes third mates until we meet again. At the end of your story.

Wap! Well, don't put it like that! Yeah! You see, her dress once again, uh, floats out like, uh, she's marry Poppins, um, and you see she hops out the window and begins floating there. I salute her on her way out. As you salute her as she floats there, you see she begins waving at you before twisting her wrist and using an arcane pole on the tower and the tower begins growing, begins shooting up. Whoa. This is better than books.

Hi. And I can see a tiny book staircase from here. Yeah, it looks like she had to revise what she was going to do. You can see the book staircase begins falling. It's collapsing like an inception. Yeah, out the window, you guys see the tower breaks the clouds as you head towards the ring of summer The cool spring breeze that is rushing in from the windows suddenly turns to a dry hot air and you feel the spire hit

something You guys have to brace yourselves not to fall You see a bunch of books do like come off of the bookcases and stuff as you guys break through The next plate and arrive on the summer ring The very tip of the tower now pokes out on this plate a vast desert of sand Because he has a lot of sun beating down above you. Oh, this is bad for me because I already run hot. Yes, oh, Fiya, you are sweltering.

And you are going to, we got to, you are going to pull it right now. You got to get shorts. You got to, you got to go short. I am a premium and proper lady. I can't be going. Anyway, we don't wear shorts no matter what. I need to always be ready for business. Fine, cut it off at the knee. I'm telling you, these shorts, I'm wearing slacks.

These are transitional dockers. I can go with a meeting like this. You know what, maybe I can fabricate a linen suit for myself. I could probably infuse a pair of pants with ice inside of them. I could make you like a ice pants. I could probably infuse a pair of pants with ice inside of them. It could make you like ice pants if you want. I really want, I send a note through the bag to Billy and it's like can you please send me a sensible receive a linen suit. Okay.

Okay, all right. Okay, all right. Without caution, then put it on. Okay, I can't believe it. Circus wearing shorts, but also still the metal clogs that Billy gave him and his feet are just so hot. Oh, right! Yeah, they're absolutely on fire.

If I get Henry, let's the nut hang out. I think I've got to get this thing so damn. So it was intentional. It wasn't always. It is absolutely being strangled. Spoonie could you take care of that? Don't touch it Spoonie. Leave it be.

So yeah, so you guys put your heads out of the top of this tower and you guys see like a vast desert around you. So I guess we probably want to stealth because we have some buffs to this. Let's... I mean, is there anything can I do some kind of perception check to see if there's anything to stealth towards? Yeah go ahead and do perception checks. I just crit. You just quit? Yes I did baby! God damn it! And I got a 19. Shit, 24 total. Fiat can, you look out. I have it on a dice that crits on a little bit.

That crits on a little squid. Well, the squid, the squid, crit. Fiat, you look out over the desert. You see that it doesn't really have any good places to hide. Every once in a while, you'll see a cacti but it is just a mostly barren desert but within that 20 you see some like debris in the distance. Like some kind of like man-made, some like litter essentially. You see the sun hit some like glass. Okay, I stealth towards the litter. You stealth towards the litter.

Everyone, come with me, there's garbage. Okay, you guys get over to this glass that Fia had seen. The sun reflecting. Wait a second, glass sometimes can ease it glass or is it glass that was made by like fire interacting with sand? You see that it is two empty vials and you see that near the vials are a set of footprints. Vials. Zirk is going to go ahead and inspect the glassware. Great.

Zirk, go ahead and give me investigation. Or Kana or your Tinker's tools proficiency. Oh, that's gonna be very nice. That's gonna be a 26. Jesus, Zirk, you find a little bit of residue in there. You dab it, you put it on your tongue, and you determine that this was a fly potion. Two fly potions look like they were used. Two fly potions look like they were used.

Two fly potions. Mm, that sort of like an alchemist thing. I mean, can I, can I with the help of Zirk try to sort of like analyze who's up from these vials? Yeah, everybody else go ahead and give me investigation checks. That one. there we go You put your lip I book myself in the eye with

Garfling suit That is a I got a 21 21 19 the Footprints in the sands look like they were made by a Pretty tall imposing figure. Seems like humanoid, but like big feet, like a big person. And based on the investigation checks and the like tinkerer check, it would seem to you like someone powerful has managed to like get into the vault and maybe bypassed the first two rings

but isn't able to fly or teleport on their own. Do they look like hunter's boots? Yeah. They do. And is that one set of footprints leading to the vials or walking away from? Walking away from. It looks like someone just discarded vials. Okay. I mean, it's a long way here, so they might have needed to use two vials just to get up to this level. Yeah, this makes sense. I think that this is cane we're dealing with. Ah, of course, yes, this is. It's time for that rematch, Via. How fresh to these footprints look. Quite fresh. All right. Oh, well, to be an optimist, we might say maybe the summer ferry will finish off K and Fort us. I smile pleadingly at my companions.

Yes, as you say that, suddenly you guys notice your shadows begin rapidly changing and warping and you notice the sun falling out of the sky in a flash the sun disappears over the horizon and day turns to night and that's where we'll end our session. Oh, all right. Good night everybody. I guess I should have buffed myself. Are you saying we all get shanks? Yeah, nothing changed with my show, right?

I get to be a shirk. Yeah. You all get your own green tween shadow. Oh no. No! I'm gonna follow you around forever. I'm gonna shirk you, shirk. Sweet, thank you all so much for listening.

You can listen to us talk more about this over on our Patreon. patreon.com slash napa That's any DDPOD don't sing. Yeah, whoo. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? Yes, I would like to plug through by Kathleen's outlaws and obelisks Which is just a really fun actual play campaign that I've been that I played on and he was super fun and I put palette in And my name is Lula Jack split so I'm paying that I played on and it was super fun. And I put Paladin. And my name is Lula Jacksplit. So please go listen.

Go listen from the start because the people that I played with are awesome. Emily, there's just one question for you. Do you get to smite in this campaign? Yes I do! Yes I do! And y'all motion knows how to do it real good, right? And let me tell you, Paladin is the coolest.

Check out three black halflings, everybody. Anybody else have anything to plug? We could plug our shop, the NAD pod. That's a great idea. We have new stuff dropping. We have new stuff. We have pint classes and a cool hat. We have the third-mates hat that's now dropping.

That's correct. Maybe a couple more things very soon, but we have those two in the store now. Yeah. What's up, cool old stuff too. So go in, check it out. Dive in. Shit, it's holiday season.

Dive is, yes. It truly is. Everybody. Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. AdCHMurf is me, at CaldiceColdwell, AdEAX for Desemmely, and at CheckerWishes Jake. And you tweet about the show using hashtag NadPud. That's NAD's me, at CaldiceColdwell, adios for Desemmely, and at ChicaRus's Jake, and you tweet about the show using hashtagnadpod that's NADDPOD.

We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the

We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We are the We's the end of the episode which means it's time to shout out our benevolent

Council of Elders. Let us begin. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker and Matt M. Employees at Walter and Madison. A law firm that just happens to share the same name as the deceased Green Tween. As another coincidence, they are prosecuting the third mates for his murder. Wow, small world. Jordan DJ, Qatar W, Jive G, and Dylan B. Leonora's copy editors. These meticulous fairies make sure Leonora's books don't contain typos. She used editor books herself, but stopped after accidentally misspelling Hank as honk for like six chapters in a row. Huh, weird, I don't remember that.

Daniel the Deaths of the Dayme, Andrew M. Beardman Dan, Scott D and Danny P. People Henry knew in some of his various past lives. Despite all living in different times and knowing different versions of Hank, they all individually wrote C-Shanties about how much he sucked. Root. Mixologist Michael McD, Vincent W, Boundor's boy, and Andrew B. Sir Tiny Petals loyal knights. They all know he's a prince, but are sworn to secrecy on the subject. They're also sworn to secrecy about the fact that he's dating a bumblebee, but more so

out of respect than obligation. Justin I, Ragnar Faredwin, TJM, the gnome barbarian, Elena M, and Traylee the cray-fay. The architects who built Leonora's massive book tower, only to watch it go unused. They get paid based on how many steps are taken on it, so this honestly is pretty devastating for them. Jared E, Austin Bonesaw MR. Damial R. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald and Gage M. Sir Tiny Petals, Rabbit Wranglers.

By using Carrots as a reward, they have trained the long-eared steed to hop on command. It's very impressive, but has permanently strained their relationship with the carrot kingdom. The Albert the Fabulous, Richard X Machina, Michael L. Trash the Traveler and Sir Carl, other fairies through the green tweens trapped in books. However, the tomes they've been stuck in are all travel and cookbooks, so they've actually been way less eager to escape.

Huh, must be nice. Jory S. Dana G. Helm L. And Jack L. The sprites who crafted Surnesis' beautiful flower crown. They also crafted Herodicia's Autumn Leaf crown, but have wisely decided to emit that from their online portfolio. Follas Whale, Sam L. Nicholas C. And Samuel B. The pollinator Knights.

Technically they're just beetles, but someone knighted them, so what are you gonna do? Mike H, Udushmuluk, the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E, Colton B and Adam G. The architects of the bookstairs, Leonor had planned to offer the third mates. All that work, all those long hours, and what for? We'll never know. Megan S, any badger, Panama James, and Cummins the Bard. The court of Sir Mighty Petals, sworn enemy of Sir Teeny Petals.

And yeah, you guessed it, he's a fiddly fig. Ah, I've been the knee. Captain sigil, Grace G, Drew Nasty, C.C. Lulu, and Barnesinator. Con artists that follow Leonora. Sure, they're scoundrels, but their lies are also beautifully crafted stories, and Leonora can't help but respect the trade. Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Crock-Waring Warrior.

Lucas B. And Aaron S. A couple books from Fia's library that would absolutely abandon Fia for what Leonora's got going on. Who could blame him? It's Kevin. Run down Johnny's pubic mound. New York. Steven C and KJ. Minor characters in all of Iluk Henry's other lives. KJ was Henry's favorite barista in Life 23. Steven C. was a neighbor to doors down in Life 54. And New York once asked him for directions in Life's 12, 34, and 41. Wow. Repeat a fender. Michael M. Mike K. Joy T. Nick W. and Taylor A.

Denim Jacket's stylus, who cringed hard and long at Henry's denim jacket memory, fear retrieved. They are a tough crowd to please. Asmi M. Kelsy C. Kazimir, the all-knowing, big bad beard of the mad and Eric McDee. Rabbit mounts with highly specific, highly controlled diets, who are sleeping off some pretty bad tummy aches from all the snacks the third mates fed them. Sorry about that. Giant monsters on the horizon. Thrath.

Early tea. J. Dragonborn. J. O'ROW the Inepropro. And Cody B. Other shipmates in Henry's exact dilemma. They all sold their souls to the Time Devil to change the outcome, but unfortunately that meant the outcome got reversed back and forth so many times it ended up landing on happening exactly how it did. Time Devil has their souls now though haha.

Liam D, the Sandrean, B&A, Fel Donnis, and Dave H. The royal flower chefs, every night they prepare Sir Tiny Petals a sumptuous feast of water and dirt. Their secret ingredient? Love. And also horse manure. Koala Bear, Catherine S, David K, Christian S, and Dustin S. Other souls who Leonora made a pact of reincarnation with. Although their desires were much pettier.

David K just wanted to come back to see how Game of Thrones ended. Yikes! Connor F. The Time Walker Two left eyes and DPC is awesome. Iluk Henry Superfans. These fairies treat Hank's book like a roller coaster and put their hands in the air while shouting loudly every time they make it to the Genejack up reveal. I mean, who wouldn't? Aston S. Where the bugbear barbarian? Pork chop. Chanel M. and Valacy Raptor.

A crew of nerdy dragons that call themselves the Bookworms. They all sit up on a mighty whore of stolen books and are the scourge of librarians across the land. Minette F. Pat L. A Chuta A. Lauren H. and David M. Ferry's bound to silence about another even more ancient secret. The time Oldwyn shit himself at a fallout boy concert. They rast him for a century then felt so bad they swore an oath of silence. But now, with the arrival of the Third Mates, the long-profacied second-rassing might finally come to pass. Elias Haathorn, Alex H, the eldest berry, Evan V, Ryan S, and the bone-duster.

The Fanny, Pacrats! These interdimensional critters are responsible for shuttling things between Hank and Billy's bags. Fun fact, Hank's actually supposed to have been tipping the rats this entire time, which might explain why all the stuff that comes out of the bags is covered in spit. Robot crisps, Yidra-Syl, Britly Sea, Micah-B, Bloops, and Carly-Anne. The snap dragons. These fearsome flowers are used as mounts by the Flower

Knights. They can't breathe fire, but they can make your allergies go crazy. Approach with caution. Laurie P. Seth AJ Spam gaming the Natsu-skilled gamer, Connor Savage and Christopher J. Pebblepot. Artists who submitted cover art for the Iluk Henry book. Sadly, all of their drafts were rejected because, as Leonora put it, they made Henry look way too hot. Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Rimmington CD, Amber Dexterous, and Thriller the Fight. Summer Ring Bandits.

They watched our heroes attempt to stealth across the desert and laugh so hard they impaled themselves on cactuses and died. The third mates went again. Sullivan H, Trub, Hopdroper, Sidney T, Alex C, Jesse DLR, The Element God, and Lindsey W. Rabbit Dressage Writers. That's right, Sebastian has a new favorite sport. He just needs someone to tell him of its existence. Champ Wilde, Vailin, Sprite Pepsi, Carl and C, Anthony S, and Jake. Hank's old

shipmates. Not the really fucked up ones though, just a bunch of folks who used to make him clean the head even when it wasn't his turn. Still seems pretty rude to me. CCA, Matthew J. TRP, Michael S. the Bone Duster, and Noah. Buns, Dentist, who had to work as a team to formulate a plan for his cavities. It was deemed impossible, so fortunately for them, they can rest easy knowing he's been decapitated, and they don't have to keep reminding him to floss. Small victories, gang. A stell. Baron S, SOS, Romance partner from the Baranese.

Conflicted DM, Justin LB, and Dandy. Hot tub designers who made certini-pedal soldiers some really sweet jacuzzi's that look like fancy vases. This way your spawk can also be the centerpiece of a dining table. Very classy. Jennifer R. Clifton A. Richard G. Imbarber and Marcos P. Hank's drinking buddies from his second life.

When they sang Happy Birthday to him and ended it by saying, and many more, this is not what they meant, okay? Pup Kalish. Gabriel M. Learns the balance druid, decoded JP, and Pegos self-proclaimed Faye Prince. Bookstare contractors who were all very happy the third mate took the elevator because they advised Leonora repeatedly

that the staircase was not structurally sound. Whew, dodged a bullet. Tracy P, the Crick elf librarian, Andy E. Scrompy-Bogpipe, Holly and Anthony A. A group of middle-aged folks under a bunch-style enchantment to live life as college-aged partiers, so it's a little bit more understandable. Only a little bit though. Abigail, egg infinitum, sloth king 777, jungle down cowl, Commodore Galaxy and Edison in. Indotaren postal workers who are fixing to sue Billy for scurrying their services through

a magic fanny pack. Good luck though, because Billy has the money and she will fight and win this in court. I don't doubt it. Russell H. Nios, Lara R. Kyra. Logan H. and Sean G. Leonora's copy editors. They haven't heard from her in a long time, so they figured she was just working on another masterpiece. Well, someone should have popped by because she was stuck in a book fam! Ho! And that is all of our shoutouts. Thank you all so so much for listening.

If you would like to join the council, you can do so by heading to patreon.com slash nadpod. We really appreciate it, and we'll see you next week. Bye bye!