Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 39: Cain vs. Callista

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

The Third Mates crash a duel! Zirk gets sunburned, Fia does a Fortnite dirge, and Hank embraces an old enemy.  Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Music / Sound Effects Include: "A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford. "Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford.  "The Purge" by Emily Axford.  "Haunting Visages" by Emily Axford. "The Witch's Hut" by Emily Axford.  "All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford.  "A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford. "A Friend for Life" by Emily Axford.      See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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PAPA at checkout. That's www.atadominiv.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Hey everybody, Murf here with a big announcement. We are going to be wrapping up El Dermorne in November. There are three episodes left in the campaign. So two weeks from now, you are going to be hearing

the finale and we've got a big, thick, so planned for you. We're thinking about possibly doing a Saturday release for the last episode of the month, but we will let you know next week when our plans are finalized. We might do another stream, another listen along, like we did for last campaign, but we will let you know. You guys can also check out nadpod.com slash live

because we've got a bunch of live shows coming up at the beginning of the year. We'll plug them at the end of the episode here. So check that out. NADPOD.com slash live and enjoy the episode because there's only three left on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody! Elder Morn! I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz Kicking butts with an exposed nut. Can we hock this? Oh, I'm waiting a long time.

I wish I didn't expose nut rhymes. If you still time. Be that red. Emily Axford. It's getting gory for the glory of Leonardo Rastori, Fia Boginio. With an exposed nut. Weaver an exposed nut. And with the most exposed nuts of all called old-tanner.

I made everyone truck nuts. For your pants. Keeping it plain because I'm feeling deranged and it's hurt for vain and I'm going to cause pain to the profit cane. We should get truck nuts for the Phantom Steve. Truck nuts for everyone I say. Speaking of truck nuts, don't know what that means. Let's go ahead and do a little recap. Beep beep.

That's me honking the nuts. All aboard the recap express, put on your truck nuts. I'm click on it. Last time. I absolutely picture a pair of earrings made by two sets of truck nuts. Oh no. Last time. I absolutely picture a pair of earrings made by two sets of tronets. Oh, no. Last time.

Check out the shop. Last time. Last time. Last time. The third mates did battle with the dreaded green tweens and executed. Oh, executed. Brutal revenge. Yay.

During the fight, you learned from Walter Madison that That they had trapped Leonora in a book and hidden her under the floorboards But before you could free her the green tween tower was surrounded by sentient flowers after presenting the head of Bunt You befriended Sir Captain Teeny Petals, who aided you in freeing Leonora. Once freed, the spring fairy took you on a journey

through Hank's past. We learned that Hank was once on a ship's crew with a let, a different iteration of Cerenesis, and old Henry watched with regret as she was thrown overboard by the crew for being a witch. After, he was shipwrecked and lamented that if he could do it all over again, he would have done it differently.

Leonora then appeared and offered him a deal. She'd keep bringing him back until he finally got it right and he agreed. His subsequent 69 Black them truck nuts were all very much the same Until his current life where his friends have very much brought out the best in him This is the character not the person. Via and Zerak play Pin the Down the Donkey, but we're proud of that. That's right. Yeah, great.

No! Knock it off. Yeah. These are plus two truck nuts. Be careful. After your dive into Henry's past, Leonora told you that you'd likely find arena on the autumn ring, where Sienna the fairy of wisdom guards the crown of Sarenesis that would unlock her powers.

However, Leonora warned you that on the next ring, Summer you'd find Kalista the cruel who would surely try to kill you. Leonora gave you some boons to help you out, then boosted the tower to the Summer Ring. There you found a vast desert and a set of oddly familiar footprints. Before you can investigate though, the sun came crashing out of the sky, and that's where we are now. Oh boy. That's not supposed to happen.

Put it back. So, you guys are in this desert. The sun has just plummeted, but it quickly begins bouncing up and down. Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, occasionally strafing side to side as if the sun itself is doing battle. You have these footprints in front of you that match the description of the Prophet Cain. They are hunters boots by a larger than average human.

But before you guys can follow or investigate, Fiya, you feel the guardians of the Grove book at your side begins shaking. I take it out. You gonna take that? Um, hello? I open it like a phone, hello. You open it like a flip phone.

You open it like a flip phone? There is an antenna on the side here. And you hear way too loud, definitely not meant to be opened like this. You hear little frang, it's good to see your ear. You can see my ear right now. Yes, we're supposed to talk face to face. Okay, I hold the flip phone now like an iPad,

but like a mom who frames herself before. I'll look at that. Both ears now. And a lot of chin, you hold the book out and you see an ink drawing of Batilda. Cool. Love this. And she had told you guys in the past

then when she became your smith that she could essentially do a ritual to be able to speak to you through her book. But you see she looks serious and she goes little fang. There's something we need to speak about. Okay, um, absolutely. I take a seat in the sand. Sweet. Wait, real quick. Can you just like flip the book phone around and show her what's going on? I try to do a tour in the sand. Sweet. Wait, real quick. Can you just like flip the book phone around and show what's going on? I try to do a tour of the desert. Okay. So this is where we are.

Oh, beautiful summary. Sunset. This is a garage. I've been working on. Sunset. Sunrise. Sunset. I'm not going to ask questions.

Okay. So what I can sort of take you into the book, put you on speaker phone as it were, because there's a few people that need to speak. Okay, I have to tell you, it won't be my first time in a book today. You guys all sit around this book and you feel yourself drawn in, not unlike when you were with Leonora just now. And you guys enter this strange dem demi plane. It's as if you're sending messages back and forth between people, but there's an added illusion

so that people can kind of speak to each other face to face. You guys are, are we all drippy and inky? Yes, you guys are in this like world of aged paper. And everyone is outlined as if they were drawn in ink. Loved this. You see a group? Absolutely. Fortnite dance.

You Fortnite dance, you see it as a grim scene. It is people look, it looks like you have just Fortnite dance at like a funeral. I turn my Fortnite dance into a like, oh pretend like I'm getting rid of dust for the dance. Okay, everybody see B series. She's doing a Fortnite dirt. Sure.

You guys see a group of people are in this strange room with you. You see Batilda, you see Braden Kenley, the vampire who was Batilda Smith, and you see Walder who was the giant skeleton who was previously when he was alive. He was Kenley's partner. You saw the portrait of him in Ken Lee's mansion You guys had successfully Remove the curse from him when he was guarding the necrophone in West precinct when he had just been risen as a horror He was one of the first blades and told you guys that he might be able to get more information for you if you could find his current self and unlock more memories and betilda had joined him in a trek to the capital to try to accomplish

this. So last time you saw these guys was in West precinct and you see based on kind of actually everybody go ahead and give me insight checks. 1911. Okay, I would The Vanty Four. Okay. I would say that all of you guys, Fia and Hanck are a little bit maybe more tuned into this. I think Zirk maybe is a little bit thinking about how cool it is that he's in like a piece of paper right now. This is incredible. Zirk tries to lick the ink.

Yeah. You look at, you taste like your own skin. It is pretty cool. They even got the nut right. But Fia and Fiya and Hank and Zerke even to a certain extent, you see that the moot in here is very tense and it's the sort of posture of everyone seems like. Kenley is kind of ashamed. Walder is mad and Batilda is kind of being the peacekeeper. Oh, dear. And Betilda pipes up and looks at you guys and goes, we found the new Walder, the body that his soul is currently inhabiting.

It was able to unlock more of his human memories and he has some things that might be helpful for you. All right, yeah, let's hear it, Walder. And Walder steps forward this big outline of a skeleton man. Normally, we would have an aquamarine cloak, but now it's just the outline of a cloak. He looks at you guys and he goes, Kenley has misled you. He glairs over at Kenley who avoids his eyes. Though we were together for a great deal of our lives, we split up at the end because of ideological differences, this quest that you are on to save Sarenesis is a wild goose chase that

will only end in your friend arena going mad. Kenley pipes up, holds his hand up and goes, that is not necessarily true. And Walder holds us hand out to say stop and as if like you get the sense that this has been a and a tense argument that has been happening for a while that you guys are now being brought into. And Walder goes, enough of your half truths. We have been down this path before. Heredicia and serenesis are not the only children of the trickster. Of course, there was a child of autumn, a child of summer. Both came to the mortal realm years after Serenesis, after the banishment of Zelbaldar. Both were sought out by Herodicia and blades alike, and both times they joined their sister in a plot to end humanity. I know this because I banished

their souls with my own sword, with the help of my partner, Braden Kenley. Um, gestures to Kenley. They begin with good intentions. The children come to our world because the idle pleasure of the Grove begins to bore them. They die and are reborn without their memories. They suffer because of humanity's cruelty, the suffering breeds resentment. The resentment allows them to be manipulated. Heradicia finds one way or the other to awaken them and when she does something snaps, a rapid change in perspective,

the temperament of a human, the outlook of a God, and suddenly the persecutors cease to be humans with bad motivations and they become flies, begging to be squashed. Kenley stands up and goes, Sarenesis is different, the others were manipulated. Walder looks at him coldly and goes, it is you who are the manipulator and goes and sits down. and goes, it is you who are the manipulator. And goes and sits down. Well, we're more or less used to only half of the information being given to us.

So honestly, this isn't that surprising, but what's more pressing is to find out where these other children are and get to them before heradicia does. Walder and I have already taken care of that millennia ago. But did you banish them too? You removed them from the cycle? They are dead.

They are dead and gone. And you think, you think Serenesis is going to meet the same fate as her siblings. You see Waldor and Kenley answer at the same time. Waldor says, yes, Kenley says no. Has this happened before besides with her siblings? Kenley goes, no. Okay. That is the point of all of this.

Do we know how Herodicia is able to reclaim her memories? Well, Herodicia never truly dies. The versions of her that we've encountered, like Moxora, are avatars. Much like when you faced Owen, there is another true form of her in a scorched grove to the north, but that is already being dealt with. Did you scorch that grove? Me? No, I am not. Do not think for a second that I am not on your side. I was only asking if that's where the battle took place and what you banished the other two. No, this was long ago.

Listen, Walter is angry with me because this is all just being rehashed, but we've had this argument before a long time ago. Walter left the blades, and I stayed. Walter kept his honor, but then he died. What? What are our choices? Yes, I have a lot of questions. Can you answer his question about how she changes their memory or awakens their memory? So I can ask other questions too. Much in the same way that arena will be awakened, there is usually some item that can awaken her

to an old life. And if that change in perspective is too rapid and there's not something to anchor her to this body, to this being, then she could lose all perspective. But that is why I needed you to go on this quest. What is it that you see happening? I mean, here's where I stand. I cannot separate Arena from Cirenesis, So when we talk about this, I am thinking of her as Arena. I don't want to hide these memories from her.

I want her to handle them in a healthy way. That is all that I'm asking. Fiya, you're the key. You're the anchor. You're the thing that connects her to the two are humanity. Yes, I am. The thing that is different about Sarah and Isis is that we can get to her first, and we have you.

If we get to her first, then we will be telling her the story of what happened to her, you know, a gentler way, and we can just be honest with her and help her, you know, kind of handle it rather than having her be manipulated. The situation is this. The people of Zelbaldar have been banished. Lost souls gather at the edge of the mortal plane and will overflow if there isn't a god

to sort them. The Reaper is gone, the Trickster is gone, there is no one but Cerenesis. If she were to awaken by wearing the crown, there is a possibility that she could obtain that she could obtain the knowledge and the power of her old form without losing her perspective. That is the danger with awakening any of the children of the trickster, as Walder was saying, a very eloquently put point by the way. Try to read their faces. We were the stepped in the middle of the sun. You see, while there just crosses his arms, what we don't want is the temperament of a human combined with the knowledge and the power of a God. They are different beings entirely. Think about it for a second if you were to get angry at someone if their head would just explode. This is what we're dealing with here. And that is why it's so dangerous.

Okay. So she won't be going mad. It's not like she'll be overcome with something. It's that she'll be compared to. May I ask what happened with her adiasha? You were able to banish the people she manipulated, but never her. It would seem as though getting rid of her would be as effective as trying to help Irina. Believe me, if we could have beaten her, we would have. She is slippery, and as I said to Zirk, she has a prime body that we did not know about recently. She's been able to cheat the cycles by remaining in the grove.

Well, I hate to say this. Walter, I understand where you're coming from, but this is my girl friend. I'm going to tell her what happened. I think that is the best chance. You see, Walter stands up and he goes, I'm going to tell her what happened. I think I think that is the best chance. You see, Walder stands up and he goes, I'm not telling you to not to tell her what happened. I'm telling you to not give her the crown. And, um, Kenley holds a stand up and he goes, let's not get hasty. Where is the crown? The crown is on the next string, in autumn. Sienna, the autumn fairy, a fairy of wisdom will guide you through it.

Without the crown, then arena can't... She can't assume a full power. And she can't free the lost souls. But the crown can be put on once we've talked through some of this. There's no strict timeline to this. I think what's different about this equation is that we'll all be there. If talked through some of this. You see Ken Lee and Walder exchange glances and off of your guys in sight checks You see this as being a little bit of a situation of like Ken Lee's a charmer and

we'll kind of Play politician to get the things done that he wants to get done and Walder is You know more honorable, but maybe a little bit more of a... I'm gonna take my ball and go home. Kind of person. So it's like you're not getting perfect advice from either of them. Yeah. Like you might not have even had this conversation if not for Walder, but...

So you can. ...cannily might be right. Thank you. Thank you for all the information. Right. But our... Our oath is to arena. And I owe it that to a let.

So... But till what do you think? I think Henry's got the right of it. Yes. You swore to me that you would protect Sarenesis, but you see she grabs your shoulders, she leans in close and she goes, but to hell with oaths and tricks and half truths.

Don't worry about serenesis. Worry about arena. Protect yourselves, protect her, and you do what you think is best. Is there any chance that I'm going to have to banish serenesis from arena? Is it serenesis? A danger to Arena? Do they even overlap like that or are they totally one?

Because, but till I have to tell you, if I have to choose between the two, it will be Siranises to go. You see, there's kind of a moment of silence and... I'm not proud to admit this, but it's the truth. I think you make the decision that you think is best, little fan. And you too, Henry and Sir. We'll be there to make sure that you don't have to make a decision alone. And even if you do, if you need to look away, we'll understand. I appreciate that, but I'm more of a fighter than a looker way or so.

Stop flexing at me, jeez. Probably after a fucking fight. Your shirt is ripping. I did come of age. I got a little bit. Looks like you're in a village twice. Jeez. Okay. Is there anything else that you've retrieved for us that we need to know?

They shake their heads and Kenley goes, I do want to apologize by not telling you about the other children. I've made promises that have not allowed me to tell you the whole truth. This whole thing is a riddle. And I've been stuck trying to figure it out. I don't begrudge it to you. I feel as though I mean, who truly knows fucking everything about the situation. Yeah, I know Jack shit, but now we got. Yeah, you've got our North Star.

You hear Walder piping up. Yeah, I know Jack shit, but now we got yeah, you got our North Star you hear Walder piping up He goes if he told you about Cerenesis he could have told you about the others Understand what you're saying, but I understand where Kenley came from you guys got to go work this out Yeah, you guys Yes I'm in for it. For the night. And old grudges die hard. I can tell you, me and Izzie used to get into it.

There was one time, one time where I was late to pick her up. Oh man, never let me. Oh man, never let me. Why couldn't she walk home by herself? You don't want to do that in West Priest. I used to have this really cool jacket. People really stayed out of my way on the street. But I saw this jacket in a pretty shirt.

You saw me coming. Yeah, it was denim. Thrap. No straps. People really stayed out of my way on this street. I saw this jacket and pretty sure. You saw me coming. Yeah, it was denim. Thrap. No straps. In the book it had straps. Oh gosh, this is just like me and Billy. Wow, the story is you could go.

Go look at the spine. Go look at the spine of that book. What Billy? Billy? Billy? Oh yes. It's getting real serious. Wow, good for you.

And he looks at his, at his, at his, banny pack to see any letters coming back and forth. Yeah, they're saying, they only got a hay from Zer. Oh, no. The other day, sorry, I just, I'm just looking through this thing. There's like a couple hours ago.

Four haze in a row. You've been holding out on me, man. This one has three wide. You know, three, they're from you. Jesus. Okay, all right. All right, yeah, probably a stock. They're big you. Jesus. Okay, all right. Probably a stock.

They're big and stock. Um, you get one back that's like a new Fanny Pack who's the best. That's probably the 100 gold that has to be. Oh my God. What does that mean? Hank, what does that mean? Is that good?

Hey, I'm once divorced. I think it's great. I agree, buddy. Well, it's great. All right buddy. Well, well, yes. Let you get back to it. Before we go, Zirk looks to Braden, and is about to ask him a question about if anyone has come to his castle,

but then he bites his tongue and ends the call. Zirk, with your... Anyway, Batilda, why did you do this to me? I think you would be able to tell with your insight check, Zirk, that Kenley probably would have mentioned it if she went. So she is likely off on the run as she does. You see, before you guys go,

Batilda gathers you guys up kind of away from Walder and Kenley. People working towards the same goal ultimately, but very, very opposed in their way of going about it. And Batilda goes, I know that the nature of the plates and the nature of the trickster has led to a lot of falsehoods and a lot of pain and betrayal. There is room for us to forge a new path, so make your own decisions. Okay, let's make one last promise that I'll keep Let's make one last promise that I'll keep.

Okay. To protect arena and to protect each other. Okay. I don't think we need a ferry for that one, but Sprite will, you're a part of this team, so get in here anyway. You see Sprite all instead of doing the ferry promise thing, just puts their little hand in the middle.

And fill up. Get fucking in here. Fine, look, I give a shit instantly, just in the middle. Don't get fucking in here Fine look I give a shit instantly his middle don't be shy Spoonie Spoonie Spoonie is Spoonie is I'm headed right now. Yeah, Spoonie is ready to clap so verve Oh my god You're gonna get all that cool What yeah, I got inked up. Yes, I am glad to hear you say that because I have to be very transparent. I don't want surprises that I understand the weight of these backed up souls and I will

try my best to make smart decisions. But all I understand right now is protecting Irina. And I don't know what this Cironis is, even really means. I would hate to sacrifice someone I know to be good for. I mean, you've seen these fairies, you know, it's like, I don't know if Cironis is, if it's like some sort of occupying spirit, if it will be the same as some of these fairies,

which are not necessarily good, not necessarily bad. I got into this mess because I didn't follow my heart when I knew what the right thing to do was. I'm not going to make the mistake again. I know you are not either. I'm in this because I want to help other people, and if I can't help the people closest to me, then what's the point? Okay. I'm in this because I want to help other people, and if I can't help the people closest to me, then what's the point? Okay.

Let's do it. Hands in the middle, fuck the fairies. Hands in the middle, fuck the fairies. You said. You guys all put your hands in the middle. You raise them up, Batilda, bid to you guys. Goodbye. It gives you a little kiss on the cheek, Fiya.

Bye, Batilda. So you're back in the train car, little fang. We'll see you back in the train car. I've kind of done some renovations. I like it so. You better not have messed with my breeding nook. No, breeding nook. Did you speak breeding nook?

Breeding. Breeding nook. I saw it's also a breeding nook. If you know what I'm saying. Now there's a lot of hot plates in it, so I don't know. Books can be very sexy. Books can be sexy. Okay.

You guys are teleported back to the desert, and you see that it seems like barely any time has passed at all. You still see the sun in the distance bouncing up and down. It's not supposed to do that. And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so.

And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so. And these things, so. It must not be the actual sun though because we would be experiencing some serious gravitational phenomenon. Really? A setting and rising sun causes gravitational phenomena? If it's moving that fast. Wow, okay. Before we proceed, seeing Spoonie reminded me, I've got a little something for him. Oh, yeah, hey, come on, back out here, but seeing those tattoos reminded me, I've got a little something for him. Oh, yeah, hey come on back out here But seeing those tattoos reminded me I had an idea I wanted to try something I thought up while I was a training in Leonor's book

Ah, and I inscribe a little keeling ruin on the tip of Spoonie's spoon. Okay, piercing And now Spoonie can cast Cure Woon's 10 times. 10 times! Holy shit! That's fucking insane! What spell is that? It is the spell-storing item. Wow!

Wow! Yeah, you infuse a spell into either a weapon or a spellcasting focus? I would say to an alchemist, a Spoon is a spellcasting focus. Sure. And since Spoonie is alive I believe he could cast it himself. He is a tiny sort of and I control him as my bonus action So then I can use my bonus action to tell him to cast his spell. Yes, wow This is a second-level cure wounds. Damn. There's ten second-level cure wounds in there. It's my intelligence modifier times two Fucking crazy There's 10 second level cure wounds in there. It's my intelligence modifier times two. It's fucking crazy.

This move is more powerful than me. Sayin! Can we say since this boon is also controlled by Henry, he could also use his bonus action to command the spoon. Oh yeah! And maybe Zer could do, because we're kind of all a family. I will say that your oath of friendship has brought you guys together. Yes, together.

We can all bonus action can throw all this boon. Three parents of Spoonie. Yep. Every time we eat a meal, we use one spoon. It takes a village to raise a spoon. Well, you say this. I guess I'm going to do two things. I'll be like, OK, if we're giving gifts,

I do have two little gifts just for a sec. I'm so sorry, Emily. I don't have do two things. I'll be like, okay, if we're giving gifts, I do have two little gifts just for research I'm so sorry, I don't have anything for you. I need nothing else in the world It has to do with spells and your your muscles are your spells really. I have everything I could ever want That's true. I give you spoon. Okay Mr. Reserve, I've been going through these spells. Yeah, And I found, too, that I think that you could use. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, look at that parchment.

Yes, I wrote them down. One is called Venom Strike and one is called Trebuchet. Trebuchet? That sounds kind of like the catapult thing I do. Yes, I think one is like a more powerful catapult. And the other is like something that you can do to your gun so that it does a little bit of you know you can smear some of your poison on your gun. Zerke is crouched in a corner already tinkering. Sweet yeah these are from

the spell book that Fia found in Old Zilbaldar and a couple of them match. I feel like they were good. Zerke style one so I asked Merf and he said yes. I feel like they were good at zirks style one. So I asked Merf and he said, yes. Yes. I'll also say, Zirk, we had that montage of you guys inside those like training manuals that Leonora gave you. If you want to do some roles to have been working on the revivify spell, I would let you. Oh, gladly. Let's's say go ahead and give me three Tinkering checks so that's going to be plus 13 here's the first one 22 okay That's a natural one yes, okay

It's gonna blow up everyone's so I saw me to zombie real quick no problem No problem you had a wasted day if you did a lot of long-hand Spell translation and then realized you got something wrong and had to go back. I drink too much coffee and I went around the bin. Yeah, there you go. All right, here we go. All right, that's gonna be a 27. 27 sweet. With one day of study above a 20 and with one above a 25, I will say you have gotten revivified down from a ninth level spell that is that we I think we said as much on the short rest But mechanically what happened with this revivify spell that you found is that it's all there It's just very very complicated. So it's the equivalent of

You can cast revivify, but you can only do it if you have a ninth level spell slot you have a ninth level spell slot. You have knocked three levels off of it. It can now be cast as a sixth level spell. Awesome. Okay. Fia, I'm gonna need you to cast this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Sorry if I had stayed with the Reaper maybe I could okay. I think the key to it might be the awakening bell actually I think I need to reinvestigate that there might be a musical element in addition to something involving your momentary stasis if I could

synthesize those in some way. I think maybe I could crack it. I'll keep working And then the other thing I wanted to do was um I'm going to go to Philip and say, now don't be jealous because Spoonie is now casting spells. I'm not jealous, I'm just fucking pissed. Okay. I'm throwing, I'm throwing a ball with Spoonie. Hahaha. Um, because actually I'm going to give you a little spell to cast on me.

Just a little one, huh? It's actually a fucking fourth level spell called Stone Skin that I have and I never use on myself, but now you can have it. So I basically use Arcane Obeyance. You cast a spell using a fourth level or lower. You can condense the spell's magic into a gray bead for one hour. A creature holding this bead can use its action to release the spell within where upon the bead disappears.

So basically... So you have a still skin bead? Yeah, fill up can cast it on some... So you basically like a very bad bookmark, you know, has a rock inside of them. Very smear. Okay, I flatten out the beads, what looks like a nice I I flat not the bead I make it look like a nice tassel the bookmark oh that's cute do you like it better now you can wear it like a little scarf I know how you

books like to wear your bookmarks yeah I guess it's okay you see very clear looks very proud of his hey cool scarf fill scarf fill. Yeah shut up thanks shut up it matches your glasses shut up thanks shut up everyone shut the fuck up stop being nice to me are you blessing it no shut up cover was red thanks shut up thanks go to hell fuck yourself are you great I love you. I love you. Feel the fucking language. What? Don't use the headphones. I fucking love you. Fuck. Thanks. I kissed him.

Oh, thanks, miss. So you guys see, it looks like there's some battle going on. Oh. And so I am, can I look out to the sun to see if it is being fought by Kane? Go ahead and give me. You guys are far away because you see these footsteps perception check with disadvantage. Kind of

a seven and eight so I mean I don't know what you want to do it you want to just tell me everything. I'll tell you no I rolled a 16 with this advantage. I'll go even with a 16 I'll say what you can gather from it is that it seems like the sun is moving in such a way that it's not just like magic moving up and down. The sun looks like it's attached to a person's movements. All right. It's like strafing. It's not just like going up and down.

Got it. It looks like when it quote unquote sets, it's like somebody going over a dune or something. This is like whenever I cast the incredible flaming sphere spell. Yeah. I hear them sing of it in old Zelbaldar. I in my head see a montage of all the times their flaming sphere did not bend out.

It killed two bats, okay? Yes. Two bats. All right, let's, let's high-tail it towards this battle. Do we want to disguise ourselves as cacti and sneak up so they don't notice us? I feel like they're fighting hard enough that we can just walk up. We can actually, I think we can just totally sneak up,

I think so, yeah. Sweet, yeah, you guys can give me, but you are already wearing a cactus outfit, I see. I hold it out. I hold it out for you. You guys can give me style tracks, if you'd like. Cool. As I had said last episode, hard, hard, hard place to hide.

18. Okay, advantage from my hot hot shoes. Hmm. Who can I feel still? That's a not 20 from Billy. Yeah. Sweet. A hundred more gold coming through the Vanneback.

I got a 50. Is this her love language? Um, you guys follow the footprints. Um, you follow it for a bit. The sun gets bigger as you get closer. You are heading towards the sun and you eventually do crest over a dune and you see the profit cane doing battle with Calista.

Go ahead and actually guys, now give me flat perception checks. Okay. Hmm. 13. 13. Calista. Go ahead and actually guys now give me flat perception checks. Okay. 13. 13. 18. 16. Zirk.

With an 18, you can just see Calista. The rest of you guys, she just looks like a constant sunbeam. You just see the slightest outline of a fairy within the sunbeam. You just see the slightest outline of a fairy within the sunbeam. But essentially what is happening is the sun seems to follow her as she moves. And there's a moving beam that goes through her. And she can kind of focus it at the person

and then shoot arrows at them. Zerke, you see like a slight change in the beam as she's shooting arrows and you guys see the profit cane has a blindfold over his eyes. Does not looks like actually a good person to be fighting Kalista does not rely on sight relies on his other senses. You see he's swinging his side around dodging the sun beam and flinging balls of necrotic energy into the sun as flaming arrows are shooting back at him. So I'm guessing we can't look at her. No, you just got to squint really hard.

Yeah, Zirk saw her. Hold on, if you put some goggles on and you squint really hard, it should be fine. Zirk just saw her. Okay. Okay, can I just propose something fucking crazy? Yeah? Okay, okay, can I just propose something fucking crazy? Yeah, we're walking secretly buff can so that he fucking wins this fight and then fight him afterwards That we retract our fucking buffs Interest

Insane to all right, so does it look like can is losing it looks Alright, so does it look like Kane is losing? It looks um, let me see. I don't know which horse we want above. I mean, I want them both to fuck each other. Here do we fucking watch this from afar? Here's what I will say with your guys perception checks. Collistus harder to hit. Kane is harder hitting. That is the sense that you get. Dex versus Strength.

Both look pretty evenly matched. Should I just hollow out some more cacti? Cane is harder hitting. That is the sense you get. Dex vs Strength? Both look pretty evenly matched. Should I just hollow out some more cacti? This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

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So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler go to birddogs.com slash pop-up or enter promo code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code pop-up for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. as you get close. Why it enough that he's because they're both fighting at a distance. So he's flinging these necrotic balls 60 to 80 feet away. She's shooting

from like a hundred feet away like bouncing back and forth and you hear him say in a low voice as you guys like kind of hide behind the dune with a passive perception of 25. You hear Cain goes, You want to give me a hand here? Or should I tuck myself away in a demi-plane and let you take her yourself? I'm going to message him. And what of when she's dead? What, then you want to fight us?

I think we have the same goal. What's your goal? Kill Moxora. What? I thought you were her little laptop. We have the same goal What's your goal? Kill Moxora What? I thought you were her little laptop Don't really have time to talk about it right now, do I? Can I do an insight? Yeah, go ahead That's a three

A three? A seven so ten Could be a trick, but also why the fuck is he here by himself? Like, hoafing it Like, you saw fly potions? It's true Why would itxorra just teleport him? You're right. I'm ready to fucking junk path this cliff, no matter what. It's gonna be a good story.

As long as we can. I'm really not a told me that's what matters most. Hell yeah. As long as we get a piece of him later, let's do this. Let's do it. Can I message him? Where's Bookfar? You tell me where Bookfar is and I'll help you.

I think your friend's gone. You're here, huh? Look, I'm throwing necrotic balls. Yeah, okay, okay, understand. All right, let's fucking fight the fucking soul. Sweet, everybody go ahead and roll initiative. All right. That's a 16, 12, 18.

The top of this round is Kalista. I'm gonna say that you guys aren't gonna get a surprise round because she's in the middle of combat, but she is not going to attack you yet. You guys are like far off, you're maybe in her periphery, but she does not see you yet. Kalista is, first things first, gonna aim her sunbeam at Kane.

You see Kane tries to dodge out of the way. It's gonna pass this throw. Just takes half damage, but you do see he gets synched a bit and rolls out of the way. Then she is going to shoot three arrows at him. We don't have to pretend to feel bad about that, right? Oh no. Oh no.

Your cloak is even more torn up now. She does 50 damage to him. Oh, thanks. After that, Fiya, that is your turn. Hey, Kane, how is the crytic damage doing gone hurt? The crytic damage is doing just fine. Like, really good or just right? Just fine.

Just fine. OK. Y'all chose a weird time for small talk. I'm just going to do a fifth level spirit shroud to give myself an extra 2D8 to my attacks. Okay. Sick. That's a bonus action.

And then I'm gonna go try and find out how hard it is to hit her sweet You run in here's what I will say if you run into the sun beam you will have to do the con save if you don't run into the sun Beam you wrote this advantage. Let's fucking do it miss I'm going to actually need you fill up the cast stone skin on me. Thank you. He cast stone skin on you What does stone Skin do? I don't remember. It gives me resistance to bludgeoning and it's basically like almost like barbarian rage.

Okay. So piercing it will help with. So piercing. But not fire. I know, but it's not fire though. Is it radiant damage? I'm gonna rule it. Despite the fact that the actual spell is radiant, she is like made of fire.

This is sunfire. This is fire. I'm gonna roll this is fire damage. Nice. If I fucking get hit, I'm gonna lose concentration. I can't trust myself to get a con save, so I'm just gonna roll with this advantage. Don't forget you have the mind sharpener. Oh, Drew!

I'm running into the sunbe. You run into the sun beam. I'm going to give you a constitution saving throw. Okay. You see Kane shakes his head and goes, fucking gutsy. Shout out to the two crew for I fail. Yikes. Fia, you take 21 damage, fire damage. Fia, you take 21 damage, fire damage. Okay. And then you may make your attacks regular. You see this being not made of fire, she's just camouflage, didn't it? Her body is much like in the way

that Leonora was made out of leaves. She seems to have armor that looks like it's made of fire. Okay, well I use my bonus action, so I'm going to just attack her. Great. That's a three. Nice. Yeah.

Oh my God. This is not so good. Okay, let me just see what that would be. She's just down there in a lounge chair. Where is she working on her tan? Oh no! She's drinking cactus juice. Oh, I was saving that.

I'm gonna chrono. Okay. Great. Eighth date on the day. 27th. She's drinking cactus juice. I was saving that. I'm gonna crown all of it. Great. Eighth in on the dead. 27. That is gonna hit. Okay, so that is. And I'm gonna say this sunbeam has been reflavored,

so this is fire instead of radiant damage, and it's not necessarily blinding if you get caught up in it. I'm assuming this does nothing, but it is a green flame blade, but I'm assuming that the flame won't do anything to her. Is that a correct assumption? Yes.

She loves it. I love it! That's her voice. She doesn't get bookfars revenge, right? Fiends? No, she's not a fiend. You are the fiend. Her throat is very dry. Yeah, of course. It's dry Maybe you should drink some water. I live in the deserts

It's just you sound you're gonna drink water. I would die You're gonna get try to kill me you win. Just take some rope of course. You are you have a nasty call I would die from rope of dozen. Tvanti damage on 9 of which is the critic. Ooh, rad. And then that's what I'm going to do. Oh, let me do my concentration check, see if I absolutely fail that. I burn one of the things. Sweet.

She is going to... I've rolled like 3 2s in a row. She's going to, at the end of Fias turn, legendary action, face step, 30 feet back from Fia, keeping the beam on her and Kane though. After Fias turn, that is Zerk's turn. So I want to try something I was fiddling with inside Leonora's book. Zerk with one hand holds up his gun and just unloads on the sun. Just shoots a gun straight at the sun. Rad!

Fuck you, son! And then, with his other hand, he opens up his cloak, a robotic other hand appears, and as a bonus action, using sorcery points, he casts Haste on Henry. Holy shit. Metamagic adept. Clicked Blastcast Calaway style. Wow, wow.

Extra hand comes out, casts Haste on Hank. Yes, that's right. I can see you're trying to hit it. It's a big target. I just, oh, oh. I'm gonna say we're gonna treat this a little bit like hide. So go ahead and give me a perception check. You might get to disadvantage unless you're all up in her business. Okay. I'm gonna say you guys see kind of flickers of her

But as far as hitting her with like ranged attacks. It's a little bit tougher. I'm sorry I should have cut slits in the cereal boxes for everyone And I will say a DC 20 beautiful. That's gonna be a 22 rad You once again see her form once you kind of catch her you just basically don't blink and you keep Following her and you see this little outline of a fairy within the sun beam Yeha, let's shoot the sun. Yeah That's just a 14 14 does not hit okay, you see I'll say that with her legendary action She had just like misty stepped to back as you took your shot

And you blink and you lose her and you're looking around again Okay, so it's really hard to hit the sun Do slow robot doesn't boy just like I take something I can't You I made a fire you sound real bad But you are the bad one. How's your skin? My skin is fire. Actually, I do have a spell that makes my skin fire.

You do really great. I've been very think so long to use it. I thought I was going to use it on you. I love that. She is going to spend two legendary actions and move beam. Zirka is going to need a constitution saving throw. Who, boy? I also want to let you know that I have fill up. Because he'm gonna need a Constitution saving throw. Who, boy? I also wanna let you know that I have fill up,

I, like, because he's concentrating on spell for me, I just sent him to go like- He's fine up, yeah. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Not good rolls. That's going to be, oh my god, that's a 10. But I'm going to Flash of Genius and add five, 15. Yeah, one short.

Oh, yeah. You take 32 damage. Yeah, I got a damage. All right, let's do a constitution save instantly for that focus on the hay spell, okay? Jesus Christ. So nasty sunburns, or anything. If you have a disill magic,

you could also just spell the sunbeam. DC 16 concentration check. Okay. Thank God, that's a 19 maintain concentration Hank you are right next to Zirk you see he just disappears in a fire you need some alo dude you think I don't have alo Zirk pulls out the biggest tube of alo you've ever seen I didn't tell you to chug it After Zirk's turn that is Keynes turn Kane is gonna fling some more necrotic balls at Kalista here

First on Kane I can't I can't hand with happening second one shout out to the two crew Does 33 damage nice? Okay? The main cane by God. Yeah, okay, I like it. Good work, can. Hey, the main cane. By God. Yeah, sorry that I killed your men. Almost as cool as when you killed my fucking mentor. Yes, he's done some bad stuff, guys. You stole my fucking book. We're not hanging out after this.

I don't know, I have rose colored glasses for the whole thing. I was kind of funny when he did that. Hank, you didn't remember the jacket, your memory sucks. Um, after Canes Turn, that is Hank's turn. What is haste? How many attacks does haste give me? A bomb.

You get an extra attack. An extra attack? And then I just got it. Or an extra action. I'm better AC. Plus two AC, advantage on deck saves. Which will be probably pretty good for some of this. Great.

I'll clarify this is also a pumpkin flavored dunga chin I'll pump a chino if you will. Oh, yeah, that's my birthday drink baby What are you doing birthday? We've never asked each other. Oh, yeah Hey, it's definitely on Christmas. I'm October 29th That's a good one. Yeah, not mine's December 25th, unfortunately And I'm a leap year baby. Oh, wow. OK, so I have four attacks.

Wow. Because I got an extra one because we leveled up. Oh, yeah. So are you running into the sunbeam? Yeah. Go ahead and give me a constitution to take a photo. I'm actually surfing into the sunbeam. Now down a dune on a spoon. Woo!

Give me the con save before you attack. Should you do bad? Did you do a bad job, sir? Yeah. He looked down against. I got a, I got a not one. Oh, he's on the con save. 31 damage.

And this sun beam mechanically is not blinding you guys because you guys are sort of fighting Calista like Medusa you're kind of like looking down You see where she is from afar get up close and then kind of are like closing your eyes as you swing So these are but you are taking like the you are lit on fire by it. That's cool All right, so I can take these attacks normal. You could take these attacks flat now. You take the damage you can attack flat. Oh Fucking hell. All right, so that is a an 18 to hit misses a 26 to hit hits and two 13s both mess cheese And I'll unleash the incarnation for shank to attack cool as well shadow in the fire

Fuck me. Shadow to the two crew. Maybe you're the one who's dehydrated. Um. Yeah, you're starting to sound like fun and like a smoker away. Hi. So of five attacks, only one hit. Jesus Christ.

I'm gonna fucking action certain things. Yeah, why not? You gotta see it. Cause I don't think you'll take four more will you no? You just get one more. Oh, I see yeah, you'll see your normal attacks. All right, so my action search take three more Wow, I rolled another net one okay, I just want everyone to know that Jake is using Muttur's dice. Yeah, yeah. What did you do? What were you thinking?

These are on balance. You've got a mixed bag of dice here. Go fucking, you did not cut the water. You did not cut the water. That is another, so it's the end another 26. Okay, so you got two hits. So hits. What, nine attacks?

Nine attacks. Eight attacks? No, seven attacks. I don't know, I think it was more, man. Yeah, somewhat. Okay. So we're all damaged on two attacks. We left our good rolls in New York.

The damage was high. Great. 32 damage total. Nice. Okay. You swing into Calista as she's burning up Zirk. Oh, please just accept this chapstick. After Hank's turn, that is Calista's turn,

Calista is going to bonus action, face-step away from Hank, 30 feet back. Yeah, you're not the run for me. I suck. She is going to aim the sunbeam at Fia. Fia, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. I think it's time for a crit. I got a 5.

28 damage, Fia. Saving throw I think it's time for a crit I got a five 28 damage Fiya, okay, let me see I absolutely failed my concentration Trace and I burn another and that's two fives in a row Okay, now she's gonna take three attacks with her bow on Hank, okay? First ones of 25 to hit hits Second one's a 25 to hit. It's Second one is a 20 to hit misses Third one is a crit of course. Oh my god. We're rolling terribly right now With the crit 40 damage. I am so fucked. Yeah, but you down. It's tough, but you know, okay single digits

Okay, you hear Kane go now now don't die too fast. We still got to have it out. Don't we? I don't you're giving him a fucking pep talk Hey, I want to win this one just as bad as you guys do No, you know what honestly can you're fucking showing up for this fight and we are fucking we've got to say I'm not impressed by your rolls. Yeah, no rolling like shit. Are you the man? Are you the fucking man? I can't tell you. I'm five HP or are you the man? I can't go with you on this. I'm sorry Henry., which is that if you want to do a ranged thing, you can do a perception check DC-20 to attack Flat.

Or you can run into the Sunbeam and do it Flat. Okay, I'm just going to Hider, I'm going to take the damage. She has 60 feet away from you at this point. Yeah, I can run. What is my speed? 30 feet. And then I'm going to use one of my new spells called Meat Hook. Holy shit. I think back to the meat locker that Fia and Zerg once were in so long ago. And I conjured from my hand a meat hook, you whip a hooked chain out towards a medium or larger creature you can see within range. Making melee spell attack against the target if the attack hits the target takes 2d6, piercing damage and you pull yourself 30 feet closer to it. So I run within 30 feet and then basically do this bonus action meet hug.

So is that arranged, is that arranged attack? That's a ranged attack. Can I try? Go ahead and make a perception check to see if you can see her. That is a net one. Oh my god. Guys, you know to us. You know the general area that she's in

for your natural intelligence event. Okay, but there's a advantage, okay. With this advantage, let's say seven. Seven does not hit. We can't roll well flat, so it does it like, I have nothing I can do. Do you have it? Have you used an action?

Was me hook an action? Me hook is a bonus action. Can you just show? But it is a spell. I can toss you the crossbow. I would let you take a crossbow from Hank. Yeah. Okay, with disadvantage, jok me the crossbow. I would let you take a crossbow from Hank. Yeah. Okay, with this advantage.

Juh, juck me a crossbow. See this, what a hell in tight spiral crossbow. Grab the crossbow, shoo. Let's go build a wooden arrow into the sun. I have nothing else I can do, okay. Kill the sun. A 13 and an 18. Do I add my decks to it?

Is that what a crossbow is? Your decks to it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's winter time. Kill the Sun. So 13 plus one is a 14.

Does that mean it's a 16? I'm gonna say here's kind of the bonus to this. She's going to spend two actions and move the sunbeam towards Cain. She is not impressed by the mask performance. She's just like, okay, back to the fight we were having before. That's good.

Yeah, but like how much sass was Cain bringing? Was he bringing the smack talk? He was talking That's what they call it. Thank. Don't worry. We're coming back. Oh, I can't get over Here's the deal though. I guess you'd rather have it be going so bad instead of a little bad because right now It looks like the only challenge on the battlefield is Kane. It's rare that three of us roll this time. Yeah, this is insane. I am really someone's I have rolled sub five This is like throughout this entire You guys look at ones

Welcome to my life you guys see Kane shrugs your shoulders and goes Maybe I could have done both at the same time. I didn't realize uh-huh Maybe I could have done both at the same time I didn't realize Yeah, we are scared. I would love to just dig myself a trench turn myself into a little like desert mermaid He's what I'd like to do because I'm feeling low will talk After like to take out for wings after people turn stop being nice to Kay Did try to kill Patilda he did try to kill Patilda. He did try to kill Patilda. He did try to kill his family. After Fia, that is their story.

That is just so low. Yeah, Zerck desperately tries to hold on to his hatred for Kane. But then he sees his cape billowing. Okay, Zerck's going to do a little classic double up and cast Cure Wounds on himself, run to a dune, and then use a bonus action to use Spoony to cast cure wounds on Hank. Oh, great. Okay. So, second level, so it's going to be 2D8 plus 10 with Zerks extra alchemist healing.

Yeah. You see that Spoony fills up with the cough syrup of your choice. I like the classic. Mod cough choice. I like the classic. Mod cough. And that is the classic. As a legendary action, though the sunbeam is on cane, Kalista looks at Henry and goes, no, liquids! It's just an ear port.

I know. It's barely a liquid, ma'am. It's smaller than six ounces. So I need seven to hit. Oh my god. You take Jesus Christ. 38 damage. I'm down.

No. You're definitely here. You're going after the heal, yeah. You're just going to be in the middle of the middle. Oh, okay. Okay. After that legendary action, that is Cain's turn's turn Kane is going to go ahead and shoot two balls of necrotic energy Both of them hit that time

Kane how about a heel for your buddy for 58 damage no Joe. Yeah, Kane's a goddamn hero this but everybody loves Kane What's this fucking secret? This is a really making me laughter It is Hank's turn I'm embarrassed Hank as you fucking die in the sun go ahead and give me a dance I's basically jello it was I was a shot. I'm gonna here's the net one coming That's a 13 okay The second highest roll of the night for me after hangs turn that is Kalista's turn Kalista bonus action another 30 feet back

She is going to shoot Twice that cane and one said sir, because she saw him heal somebody. So Kane, I think he's not a Spoonie heal somebody. So Spoonie try to heal somebody, that's true. I've come from my Spoonie. The two ones at Kane, one of them hits, not a huge concern for you guys.

Kane gets hit by a flaming arrow, you see his cloak lights up for a second, he pats it out. You tried to hide and get some cover. I'm gonna give you the same deal, like a Fiat, go ahead and roll me a luck check. 11 through 20, you can get half covered by a dune. Can I add my flash of genius to this?

No, this is pure luck. This is just the landscape, theater of the mind. No! Okay. That's a natural one. There you go. That means he found one dune. It is literally, this is the flattest sand you've ever seen.

Kane, we're not normally like this. It kinda seems like you are. No. The last time I saw you guys, I was just chained up by some arcane chains. I couldn't move. You escaped. You all lived. I don't know what to say.

We've done some really cool stuff. She tries to shoot you. Serk says this while pretending to be a cactus. 20 to hit you, Serk. Fuck me. That hits. Okay, that is 25 damage, Serk. Okay, because I healed myself, I'm still up.

Rabs, Serk stays up. After Kalista's turn, that is Fias' turn. Fias, she is now 60 feet away from you. She went another 30 feet. Oh, I need to roll concentration again. Adds or stays up after Kalista's turn that is Fia's turn. Fia, she's now 60 feet away from you. She went another 30 feet. Oh, I need to roll concentration again. Okay. Okay, concentration to see if I can maintain the haste,

although Henry's down, so it doesn't matter. That's true. Yeah. I'm making my death saves really fast. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that haste would drop if you got it. That's why you should have liquid tea See, probably I had an energy drink. Those are dangerous.

What did liquids do to you? Everyone saw her kill me with fire, right? You had nothing to do with the liquid. Did you make me steamy? Did you get invited to a pool party and did it go bad? And I turned to steam and everyone got burnt in the pool. You seem like you'd be a hit at like a potlock though. You would be a hit at a potlock.

Ha ha ha. See if you were drinking water, you'd be able to come up with a better insult. Let me try to do a perception check to try to see her. 14. You do not see her. Mm hmm. Okay, so I'm rolling.

Make it a tag what disadvantage if you'd like. Like this. Philip can give you the help action if you want to use fellow. Ooh. Yeah, I absolutely will I will absolutely roll flat then Okay, I think I see her like over there. You see that little like ball of fire and that other ball of fire Yeah, I'm pretty fucking hopeful How did that fucking bookmark work for you?

You know, um, Philip Yeah, you said that with like a lot of sass and you don't understand. I thought I was coming to fight came So he he would do like lots of Peterson damage and I didn't realize how fucking useless the spell would be But I cast it anyway. I know what we're friends. So we like yeah, you got it Yeah, especially we're doing soul bad right now and actually the roast thing is kind of fun. Okay, you just have to laugh. Hank is just heart beating so fast and he's fucking crater on fire. I will get the you. Spomming at the mouth. Let me go. I'm fucking going all out and I'm going to do a six level because I have those now even though we have it restocked or spells a six level guiding bolt cool

I have a plus eight because I get a plus one to stuff from my quill That's a net one oh my god That's a net one. Oh my god. It's a snow. Cry. We have to all go take a walk. This isn't right. We're born for a courty, but after this episode,

you guys need to like take a shower. Oh, okay. It's your dishwasher working, because we gotta load that thing up with dice. Okay, I at least born this action, say, Spoony. Wait, this Booneerity is used as action though. Or like, what's bought this action, say, Spoonie. Wait, the Spoonie already uses action though? Or like, what's that?

Okay, how often does that? I would think it's, I'm gonna say that once for turn, because it's supposed to be your, once for turn, but he probably acts on my turn. But isn't it a bonus action to use it? It's, you have to. I use a bonus action. So it's like, it's background to my turn,

so he probably, but the mechanics of that is to stop you from using it a billion times Yeah, so you guys can do it once per round But anyone can do it. Spoonie has to use Spoonie has to use his action But I think that's the top of the order. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is I think I'm his I'm his anchor Oh, that's true. Yeah, okay, so we go back to this okay So Spoonie we are rolling so many that one really have to give us a fuck, go ahead guys.

Go ahead and roll me a luk-chill. What was the bone-wheel? One more, hang on roll a five or above. We're doing six days. Yeah. All right, all right. All right. Okay, I'm gonna catch and bring Hank back all.

Good tables, have time. New rule. You better run. Spoony refreshes at the top of the round. All right. And then I send Philip, go away. Okay, Philip flies up. At the end of Fia's turn,

Calista is going to go ahead and take a shot at her. At Fia? At Fia. 24 to hit. Shield! Ooh. Fia, you're blocking. Doesn't actually get me there actually.

It doesn't get you there, you still get hit? Still good hit. You take 24 damage. How are you looking, Fia? There goes my fucking concentration again. I have one last thing. Mine sharpener. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have one last thing.

Oh, you're using the charges. Okay, Zirk that is your turn. Okay. Hmm Zirk is also not looking great. Fia, how are you doing on health? Bad Great great great great. Well, this makes my job simple. I'll just yield people and you guys were gonna fight Moxora You were kind of thought about it. We're gonna have different dice We jump around and shoot air just my store of sunbeam Okay, and I don't know what to tell you I think I'm gonna start crying for laughing because what is today? All right, you know what we've all swallowed our pride can you're fucking cool as ice man? We need you to help us

Yeah, dude tell him it was awesome when he killed your mentor Don't make me do it Say that it was cool And I'll hope you you need this Not only from us. No absolute actually rather. Yeah, we not talk Okay From us. No absolute extra rather. We not talk. Um, okay. Jesus Christ. Should I try to spell the sun beam or should I heal? Whatever you feel good. Okay. I am gonna go down soon. All right, great. Next tip probably. Um, I'm gonna try and get ahead of this. Okay.

Hanks up. I'm hanging tight. I'm going to use collateral healing. I'll do a second level healing word on Hank. Great. And then I will use a third level cure wounds on Fia. Thank you, Mr. Zerzer. Okay, pray the new life into me. Okay, okay. Everybody come get some alo.

It goes right in the mouth. We can put it up the nostrils if you want. No, alo. It's not of it. Everybody come get some aloe goes right in the mouth. We can put it up the nostrils if you want No Aloe She's gonna use two legendary actions to move the beam to Zirk Is there out of his earth go ahead and give me a consaving throw As you guys just see he's enveloped in

Sun sir, she's chucking Ziploc bags full of aloe with his friends I just let it explode on my face this is did you get a what oh my god this is insane this is the worst fight I'm not going to fucking lie guys I've got to say there's no I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to fucking lie. Guys, I've got to say. I'm going to say, okay, Mr. Zirk, Mr. Henry, I am down to run. I am down to run. Go take a short rest, get all over fucking, like, take a short rest with our things, get a long rest, and then come back. So we just go have a snack? I think we should. You guys can get shot in the back still with arrows. It's up to you guys.

Yeah, but you guys, here's the thing. Here's the deal. Surviving is one thing, right? As far as winning the battle, you guys saw when it was just Kalista and Kane, it seemed pretty even. So it seems like you guys will win this battle no matter what Question is do you want to run away to

Make sure you don't die is it better to do some damage and help came or is it better to take less damage and try to get away I will say I will do the same thing. I've done before which is you guys have to roll luck checks to see if you can find a dune you guys have to roll luck checks to see if you can find a dune. Okay, we're going to fall. We fall. Dude, she can shoot like 300 feet. Oh my God. Let's stick it out because I think he's on our side. Yeah. Okay.

Let's, we've come this far. We got to stick it out. If we do really bad one more round, we're going to look for Mary. Yeah. We got to stick this out at least one more round in my case. This is absolutely one of the first times that I Totally run from a battle, but I say we stick it out. Yeah, and reassess We stick it out and we run if we have yeah, we stick it out and we run if we need to run we leave the option open

Yeah, why close the door? The option so let's stay till the end unless we need to run so fucking golf. It's so it's wide It's so open. It's gaping. Oh. Mia, you get, oh wait, did you roll your constitution, you rolled your constitution saving throw? Yeah, I got it now one. But he had, oh, to take the damage.

Did you take your damage yet? But yeah, Merle. Well, can you have, can we resolve the heals first? Cause I'm telling you that on the other way. Oh sorry, is that beforehand? Yeah. We didn't even get that. Okay, let me get their heals before you got it.

Okay. Oh, obliterate me. Got it. One second. So that's going to be 15 plus 10, 25 for Theo. Oh my goodness, you have to solve that. I'm going to tell Billie all about this. Do you have her number? Yeah.

Zork, I just got a message from Billie. I'm going to read it to you if you survive. You see the message is just a roll of $500. I'm going to read the amount to you if you survive. General grants. Is that a $500 bill? Maybe. I thought so.

It's Lincoln's. Lincoln's on the $500 bill. He's on the $500 bill. Yeah, would you say? He said the $500. Oh, the $500 bill. I thought the word was guessing who was on the $500 bill. Yeah, would you say he said the five hundred dollar? Oh the five hundred dollars Was guessing

How low do you think of me you have really selective knowledge? I know what's out of goddamn five And even if he didn't you actually elected knowledge you know about bugs the guests would be better than Bugs are cool. Could you imagine not knowing who was on the five and guessing grant? Bugs are cool. Could you imagine not knowing who's on the five and guessing Grant? Yeah. 16, forehank. Hey, thank you.

Now, Murph, you may damage me. William McKinley is on the $500 bill. Great, wild. Way to save your ass. Yeah. Yeah. From the sunbeam, you take 29 damage, sir. Oh, still up.

Jerk stays up that is cane's turn well well looks like I have to carry all of my back yeah it's like actually please do yeah you look real strong you're the man cane 17 he misses you're on his leaf-fucking-go-roll it's insane by God's be by God's brother Please calm down. You see he misses twice. Yeah, we're rubbing off on The way I feel like we're in bad luck poison as we're can that is gangster. Oh fucking make out with you man. What do you need what? I'm definitely not hasted right now, right? No. No, unfortunately no. Okay.

Absolutely no. I'm gonna take all four of my attacks. Okay, including three attacks plus Shank. Do you have a way to move 60 feet? Couldn't Shank move and then you could trade with him? Oh, yes. Yes, okay. You some of Shank?

Yeah, so I move Shank ahead, I swap with him and I run. Okay. Do you wanna get in the sunbeam? Or are actually you can do a perception check, DC20, see if move shake ahead. I swap with him and I run okay Do you want to get in the sunbeam or actually you do a perception check DC 20 see if you see her? I hit it 20 exactly okay. I'll say with the guys arm. It's got a little bit of reach You get on the outside of the sunbeam and take a strike at her flat That's not bad shout out to the two crew on one of the three that's bad 27 hits 20 both hit great And I'm gonna roll for Shank too. Okay, Shank crit You see they surround the sunbeam starts stabbing in with their guys arms

Look to be you see the sort of camouflage to summer fairy within the sunbeam Seems to be getting hit for once guys. I think that our one sack was just impacted and we had to like massage all the ones out 40 damage Oh, there we go. That's cane level, baby. Yeah, no joke at all After Hank though, that is Kalista's turn and I'm at all after Hank though that is Kalista's turn. And I'm glad she is so upset with you. She's going to face step 30 feet back and take some shots at you.

First shot, 25 to hit. It'll hit. Second shot, shout out to the one hunts. That's a natural one. Yes. Third one is cocked. Third one is a 17 hit. Now this is, Mrs. Okay.

Woo! One hit, 29 damage. She's so, I would be so down if any of those other ones hit me. But you stay up? Yeah. All right, good for you. After Kalista, that is Fia's turn. Um, I think the only thing for me to do is to try to have fill up, give me advantage on the perception check. Great. And then I'll just try to do more guiding ball.

Great. If I am able to see it. Yep. Philip, I'll try to help you narrow her down in the camouflage. Okay. That is a 16. 16 fails. Disadvantaged guiding ball. Double digits though. Does a 19 hit. 19 just hits. Okay. advantage guiding bolt double digits though does a 19 heath 19 just hits okay oh boy so I'm doing a fourth level guiding bolt but I can add my spirits throughout to this right yes yes okay 27 the radiant damage and now the next attack has advantage on it so that that'll be flat. Even if people miss the perception.

So I used an action, I still have a bonus action. I think I am going to command Spooning to heal Zerk. Okay, we have established that top of the round. Spooning gets his action round. Top of the round, let's feel good on the soul. Okay, go ahead and use your bonus action. You're gonna heal Zerk. Yeah, great.

You heal Zerk. Go ahead and Zerk roll your own cure wounds plus 10 real do she is going to take a bonus action and shoot Hank again I he's drinking he's drinking now all right good point I'll shoot it oh no wait no shoot me actually this is emergency powder that's dry I like to crunch it up 25 to hit zirk. Oh, come on. 25 damage. Oh, sorry. 34 damage, Zirk. Hold on, hold on. Let me make sure that I'm down.

I'm pretty sure I'm down. Even with the heal? We have the heal. That's 22. 25. I have 25 HP. Would you do? 34.

I'm down. Oh. Oh, my God. Good God. Okay, we need to run. Oh Okay, we need to run after fias turn zirko heading me a death saving first zirks spits right at the sun Go ahead and be a death saving throw can I do an attack roll for my spit sure? Okay, go ahead and give me with mega Disadvantage That's good you rolled it the 20 and got yes 16 and 6 so that's probably gonna miss yeah you spit you had Dex And you don't you don't spit it immediately back in your own face which is a victory impressive you crit on the spit I was trying to beat that

Scorpion over there Okay, that's an 18 that's a pass Okay, that's an 18 that's a pass right after Zerks turn she's going to take a legendary action to shoot Henry That's a 19 to hit that misses misses no, sorry. I it hits okay. Oh I got up back up there, but I think I'm 31 damage Henry. I'm down. OK, Hank drops. After that legendary action, that is Kane's turn. Kane is going to take two shots on her. One hit, 35 damage.

Fiya, you still have eyes on her. She looks messed up. Dr. Kane's turn. She takes another shot. She's going to take it at Kane. She misses. That is all her legendary actions, that is Hank's turn, Hank go ahead and give me a death saving throw. 12th, 12th goes.

There's Hank's turn, that is the top of the round, that is Kalista's turn, Kalista gets three attacks, she's going to take two attacks on Cain and one attack on Fia to try to take her out. Oh. That is a miss on Fiya, but a hit and a crit on Kane. She does 75 damage to Kane. You see sh- Boom, boom, boom. Fiya, you see he shot like three times in the chest and his cloak like lights on fire.

You see fucking Zirk and Hank are out. Fiya that is your turn. But you can see you had eyes and Hank are out. Fia, that is your turn But you can see you had eyes on her last turn She's starting to look messed up. I mean not even starting to look messed up. She's on death's door. I'm going to just Philip with trying to see her All right, okay, so I see one orange ball in an orange line Thirdly 20 to see her okay that orange ball right there. That's her okay So I'm just going to now

Another fourth level guiding bolt has anyone hit her has anyone tried to hit her since I did that because the next attack should have had advantage So you will actually get advantage? Yes! Okay. Because you saw her and now you're using guiding bolt. Incredible. Definitely going to hit. That's a 27.

27 hits. I will say I think Cain maybe hit her but he did not roll with advantage so I will give advantage to you. Oh, hell yeah. Oh my god that looks so much better than last time. Forty-one damage!

Fia? Finisher. Okay. Yes, yes. I use my bonus action and I say, Spoonie. Guthrer like a fudge. Oh, please let him heal me just a tiny bit before he does. No, I can't.

He'll be done. I want to watch him do it. You guiding Bolt. Wait, put the sunscreen in the spoon first. You guiding Bolt, you throw Spoonie with the guiding Bolt strikes, Callista in the face. You see that as Callista dies, there is an explosion as if the sun itself Combusted you see the ensuing wave of fire coats the sand

Turning it to glass and creating an ascending staircase Into the sky here's what I will say for you after your turn these guys are still knocked out So they're still doing death saving throws. Okay, actually, can I actually use Spoonie to bonus action heal, Mr. Cirque? Yes, okay. Thank you. Great, so, Zirk, you pop back up, you are going to go before Hank,

would you like to bring Hank back up? Absolutely, yeah. Great, okay. Use a healing spell to bring Hank back up. Well, what did I miss? Turns out the strongest blade was a spoon. I knew it all along. So I'll say that these glass steps leading up to the next ring,

to the last ring, give off a glow. But other than that, this is a dark desert. Because now that Calista is dead, the sun has completely fallen out of the sky. So you guys are in this cold desert, like a bitter chill has sort of overtaken you. As you guys have been left here, you guys see Cain in the glow of the stairs, pats his jacket and finishes putting out the fire from like one of the arrows that hit him. Cool move. from like one of the arrows that hit him, puts his hand out, makes a blue flame, takes his

side, makes a circle in the sand, and goes, all right, circle a trust. Let's see if we can't make a deal. And that's where we'll end our session. I'm already gonna say yes to the deal. I just feel like a huge loser. I can't say no. We've got no like just kinds of. You guys are low status right now. For sure. The fact that he even wants to circle of thrust with me is like huge.

This could be so big for us. Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our patreon patreon.com slash and ad pod that's any DDPOD don't sing yet Okay, to listen to our after show. Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? I'd like to plug outlaws and obelisks, which is the three-black half-ling show actual play show that I Was on and I'm still on and so go listen to it go listen to it from the start

I hopped on around episode five and It's a great time. Oh Listen Insane energy Wow Just like an old man popping out of the hills You know, it's Paul, yes to play any. Listen to three black halflings as the prospector has told us to do.

Does anybody else have anything to like to plug? Yo, you guys, we have six live shows coming out. Insane. Yeah. Wow, live shows in Boston, in Chicago, Minneapolis, in Vancouver, Seattle, and San Francisco. Why, you're looking at January, we're looking at February. Get ready.

Six, that's half the number of ones we rolled in this episode. All of the tickets, all of the tickets are on sale right now. Well, series. NAD pod.com slash live, is that correct? NAD pod.com slash live. Sweet, sweet. We're over there. Yes.

Check it out everybody. Anything else? I would love to plug our shop, the holidays. The holidays are coming. What happened, my dude? I don't know. I don't know. How are you?

I think we've all lost ourself. This last episode and we'll find ourselves. I've been hollowed out by that fight, and the only thing that will make me feel better is a little retail therapy. Head to shop.navpod.com. We got some fun stuff there, and if you want it by the holidays, you gotta get it quick.

Oh, yeah. Sweet guys, check that out. And you can follow us on social media, that we're mainly running at use, at Sage Murfesme, at CaldysColdwell, at the Accur Demole, and at J. Kerr, which on social media that we're mainly running out of news at SageMurphy's meet, at Call Discoldwool, at the Accord Demole, and at J.K.R.W.J.K. and you can tune about the show using hashtag NADPOD that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are,

we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we Well, well, well, it is time to thank our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D. Jepri S. Halder Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. Worshipers of the Summer Fairy Callista, they believe that the dryness is next to godliness. Never use lotion and only eat sand. Even the dry toads think that that is a bit much. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive, G, Dylan B, and Dungeon Mama, Fultures who started circling the Third Mates during their battle with Calista, but lost their appetites after watching the fight and seeing how truly pathetic they are. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beard Mandan, Scott D, and Danny P, the Prophet

Kane's team of personal tailors. Their job is to make sure his cloak and hat look tattered in a way that is so bad as even his enemies want to befriend him. Mixologist Michael McD Vincent W. Victor T. And Andrew B. The tree farmers who grew the long-rest seeds that the Leonora gave to the third mates, the trees also yield a sap that the farmers make into a delicious syrup. Unfortunately, it's illegal to sell because it's basically maple to flavored cocaine. Wow! Just in eye, Ragnar Faredwend, TJM, the gnome barbarian Lana M, and Trayle, the cray-fay.

A group of alchemists that created a sunscreen so strong it actually gives you a legendary resistance. The only downside of course is that it's impossible to rub in and it looks super dorky so there's a strong chance you'll be humiliated to death before you even attack. Jared E. Austin Bonesaw, MR, Damial R, and Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, and also, of course, gauge M. Callista's team of nutritionists, they keep telling her she needs to drink water or she will die, but unfortunately she just can't hear them over the sound of her raspy dehydrated breathing. Philbert the fabulous Richard X Machina, Michael L. Trasted Traveler and Sir Carl, the cane train, a group of propic cane superfan who fans

who follow him around wherever he goes. They also wear bandages over their eyes and as a result, often get lost, which is why the third mates have never personally encountered them. Watch out for Kak-Dai, Kane Train. Be very careful out there. Jori-S, Calum-L, Jack-L, flawless whale, and Sam-L. Caretakers of the Wamp Swamp, a bubbling sinkhole where D&D players go to retire their bad dice.

The two crew is currently booking a week-long stay. Nicholas C. Mike H. Uchumuluk, the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E. and Colton B. Dune buddies, they're a group of adventurers who hang out in the summer fairies ring because they love diving into huge dunes of sands. That must be where all the dunes, the third mates were looking for a went. So thank you for that. Megan as knee-badger, Panama James, Cummins the Bard and Captain Sijul, Vikablers who made

Cain's boots. Knee-badger said, I want these babies to just scream hunter and Cummins the Bard insisted they draw skulls and dagger into the treads, a worthwhile endeavor. Nathan C. Grace G. Diana, C.C. Lulu and Barnes and Aditor. The invisible wind elementals that were whipping around everyone's weapons and causing them to miss. So that is why the third mate's rolled so poorly. It all makes sense now. Michelle O. Alex W. Timmy, R. Jonathan W. The Crockwearing Warrior, Lucas B. and Aaron S.

A group of very judgemental books who saw Philip hanging out with these pathetic humans he gave and have formerly banned him from their library. A library is kind of like a click or a club for books, of course. It's Kevin Bionic-Pookie, New York, KDW, Cass, and Steven C. Grenola makers who have been slipping long-rests seeds into their proprietary blend of oaths and quinoa for when you wake up and immediately need another long rest. Michael M. Mikeke Joy T. Nick W. Taylor A. and Esme M. Kalista's archery instructors who repeatedly warned her she'd probably want to get a

fireproof quiver if she wanted to continue the hobby in any sustainable way. Too bad she didn't listen. Kelsey C. Nathan, Kazmir the all-knowing, Big Back Bad Beard of the Mad, Eric McD, and Giant Monsters on the horizon. Executives at Zoom looking to implement Batilda Mode, which is where you all become whirling blobs of ink for a while. Super fun, but bad for productivity, but you know what fuck it do cares. Gulia, Julia, Thrath, Berli T. J. Dragonborn, Joro, the Inepropo, and Cody B. Henley and Walder's couples therapists.

Yeah, they're all getting panic texts from Henley and Walder, and Cody B actually saw Walder out with his teal scarf and knew they were in for it. Liam D. The Sandran, Ben A, Dave H. and Koala Bear. Founders of the Kane fan club, they spend all day on message boards, arguing that Kane's badass fighting style totally outweighs the fact that he killed Zerks Mentor. You know what, fucking let me on those boards too. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Dustin S. Keith K. Connor F. Eldermore and Paparazzi, who

will release photos of the third Mates terrible showing against Calista, unless they are bribed. Luckily, Billy has them covered. And then some. The Timewalker, two left eyes, DPC is often Blair the Bug Blair, Bar Blairian, and Pork Chop, the team of investors that have made Billy so rich and provided plus three plate mail to all future NAD pod characters. My God, what a come up. Oh my god, what a come up. Chanel M. Thomas B. Valacy Raptor Minute, Minette F. Pat El, and Achu Tha A. The Knights of Allo. These brave guardians wander the desert and heal travelers of their vicious sunburn for

the low, low price of 500 gold per square billy we need you. Lauren H. David M. Elias Hawthorne Alex H.. M. The Eldest, Barry, a group of mischievous green tweens that unfortunately uploaded the Callista fight to YouTube. No, luckily no one knows who the third mates are. Yes! Ryan S. The Bone Duster, Robert Chris Brentley C. and Micah B. The elite team of relationship counselors is going to take to settle 1,000 years of disputes between Walder and Kenley. Ploups, Carlyanne, Laurie P, Seth AJ, and Spam gaming, the not-so-skilled gamer.

A crew of friends who went to Calista's domain for summer break on the plus side, there was a lot of sun on the minus side they were incinerated. So yeah, that's a sunburn for you. Connor Savage, Christopher J, Pebblepot, P, Leviathan, and Bioquart, seven the bravest warriors to ever enter the summer ring. They offered Callista a cool, the sunny. Oh my God, you don't wanna meet that heat. Remington, C.D., Amber Dexter, thrill of the flight, thrill of the fright, excuse me,

Sullivan H, and Trub Hop, Dropper, the dice devils that cursed the two crews dice this week, only diced Christ can save us now. Sydney T, Matt Y, Alex C, Lindsay W, Champs Wild and Vailin, Sandune Surfers and the Summer Ring who were going to party with the third maize till they saw how pathetic they were, so reyncheck on that pals. Sprite Pepsi, Carlin C, Jake C, CCA and Matthew, J, Prophet Kane's personal trainers. We all thought it was overkill that he was training so hard, but you know, then Kane really held his own in that fight with literally no help from us at all.

T-R-A-P, Noah Estell, Baron S. Swashkin's romance partner from the Baronies, conflicted DM and Justin LB. Diced, Christ, patrons who we would love to sit down with and just figure out what we did wrong, what we did to wrong you, and why did we make you so upset. Dandy, Jennifer R. Clifton A. Richard G. M. Barber and Marcos P. Nat 20s, who decided to take a group vacation during this episode. Oh nice, that's fun. I hope you guys had a great time because, you know, we did not. Pup, K-lish, Yabriel M learns the balance, Druid, Dakota, JP, and Pogos, the self-proclaimed, Vaprints,

dermatologists who would encourage everyone to wear sunscreen and it is for that reason that Callista has banished them from her domain. Tracy P. the Crick-Elf Librarian, Andy E. Scrumpe, Bog, Pipe, Holly Hyena, and Anthony A. Bakers who can actually turn the long rest seed into a delicious sesame seed bagel. I won't give you any of the benefits of the long rest once it's been baked, but damn, does it go nice with cream cheese.

Abigail, maybe it's okay. Egg in finitum, of course. Sloth King, 777, Cal Cant Commit, and's okay. Egg in finitum, of course. Sloth King 777, Cal can't commit and Commodore. Phillips, Screamo, Emo, Band. They write decent lyrics, but no one plays an instrument, so it's kind of like dashboard confessional acapella. So in other words, it is awesome. Edison N, Russell H, Neo, Slora R, and Kira.

Callista's calligraphers are in charge of decorating her house with cutesy little sangs like fuck all humans and I'm gonna kill all the humans. It's very sweet. Logan H. Sean G. Morgan M. S. Ticker, Zachary A. and Stephen E. Own and operate a quiet room that the third mate's plan to sit in for a long, long time. Keep the clock running folks. We have a lot to reflect on. Thank you all!