Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 5: The Baroness

Episode Date: November 14, 2020

The new crew puts Sadie to rest, then embarks on a quest to bring her killer to justice. Fia eyes a familiar blade, Zirk gets chatty with dangerous company, and Henry names his shadow. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Broken Heart Banshee" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."Grimhawke" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell" by Emily Axford."Henry" by Emily Axford."Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford."Balnor the Brave" by Emily Axford."A Friend for Life" by Emily Axford."Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford."The Petty Guard" by Emily Axford."Batilda's Blade" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."The Baron's Estate" by Emily Axford."Two for Tea" by Emily Axford."Fia" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, we've got horny witches here, everybody. Just one. Just the one. Yeah, sometimes called little ghost so big that I just peter out silently. We've got two shy witches and one horny witch, y'all. I'll be Dutch Ambassador Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Kerwitz, Hong Kong Fish.

Going with it. Okay, getting worse every week. We're not even saying our names anymore. I'm Emily Axford. Via Bancinia, keeper of a cozy train, a hungry blade, and baby bangs. Okay.

Justin, okay. Just so judgmental from this time. Better behaved than Jake, to be sure. And then of course, called Al Tanner. Oh, Zonk for Vonk. Per-snicity mixer of ridiculous elixirs. Okay. The rhyme is really good. Sort of made up for you saying your name incorrectly. Just trying to get to net zero.

Perfect neutral. I guess it's true. I should have maybe the reason that you didn't care about mine so much as I should have said funk punk in yeah. I will see. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is where I went wrong. That is what you were missing. In case you've decided to start the show off an episode like four or five, just know that these aren't the characters names. This is a new inside joke where they don't introduce themselves correctly. I'm going to drop the rhymes and just say funk, punk, in your phone.

Okay. We want the funk. Okay. Let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time you visited the crypt of the Fenrose family and met the ghost of the Baron's father, Sebastian Fenrose. He expressed anger that Sadie Bellwater's bones were buried in his family's crypt, and even more anger that his bones were stolen. After several failed attempts to possess you,

he finally succeeded with Henry, just as you were about to summon the spirit of Sadie through a ritual. The possessed Henry disturbed Sadie's remains, causing her to rise as the broken heartbanchi and attack. Fiya Enzerk managed to pull off the ritual mid-battle and succeeded in weakening the spirit, and together the three of you managed to defeat her and free her spirit from the curse. The ghost of Sadie Bellwater revealed to you that she had not been killed by bandits, but by Fergus Whittlock of the rooks. She also revealed that Sib witnessed her murder and later returned her necklace to her body.

You all made a promise to bury Sadie in a spot where she could see the sunset as well as to avenge her and bring justice to Fergus Whitlock. And that is where you are now. Okay, so Spritele, just want a point of clarification. If we somehow don't manage to kill Fergus, just spitballing, what would happen to us? Zirk, you see Spritele begins to just kind of buzz and glow green.

You know Spritele can't really talk, but you do hear a book far pipe up and he goes, well, it is known that if one is to break a pact witnessed by a Sprite, then you would be confronted by some type of more powerful fairy who would probably menace you until you either managed to complete your task or the fairy managed to destroy you. Okay. You can lay here the forest or what, you know, I have the lake. So something like that, I don't wanna be menaced.

Or just like a bigger fairy with a hammer or something like that. Could be a fairy with a hammer? Okay. Alright, so if we fuck this up, Spritell's gonna call his big brother and beat us up with a hammer. So should we get out of this bone hole or is there anything else we need to do here? Just, I will take, once again, remove the binding from my breast and wrap up the bones of seedy, bellwater. Wow.

Henry, you did a number on these bones. Yeah, that was Sebastian, not me. Oh, can I cast Mending on the bones? Try and make them look a little more like a presentable? Yeah. Yeah, you take a minute, you cast Mending on the bones, and you guys can't carry around like a full skeleton. I will then ritual cast tensors floating disc.

It carries 500 pounds. I create a little disc to escort an amazing podium, like a little Miss America called. A bone trolley. Can I hop on this disc? My low back is hoarding after that battle. How much do you weigh? Before you do real quick step on this scale,

you must be this much to ride. 158, that's a very average weight. Wow, tensors floating scale. I've never seen this spell cast before. Okay, you can all get on. Zorik, you as well too. Me, I prefer to run. Actually, I can't get on it.

So. Oh, this is maybe the only way we're going to keep up with you. I was expecting you guys to have to organize this almost like you're cleaning up a Lego set and having like the different pieces and different bags. But you just have a skeleton on a floating bone trolley now. Can we say that the podium looks like it's made of bones as well? Sure, creepy as fuck. Yeah, you've got a

uny platform carrying Henry who is rubbing his lumbar. We all know has lumbar problems Can I give for Henry a little proud or a mast head out of bone so he feels like he is in a little boat? That would be really nice and if we could do a little bone stool at the front with low back support. Oh, that's nice. I'll make ergonomic bones for you, Henry. Ha, ha, ha. Just a better spine I'm sitting on.

Henry floats through the air on this bone boat. As the rest of you exit the catacombs, as you get back to where you had put the gates down and stuff, you see that the skeletons here that had been trying to get through that you guys had trapped have de-animated. You know that during reaping season, it's not uncommon for things like zombies

or skeletons to rise But they often require the power of like a ghost or something like that like there's almost like hot spots of evil power and Right now that's not one year 5G. We have rammed eat one So we don't need to worry about placing these bones in places they cannot reanimate. I mean they could reanimate someday, but it's unlike What will do let's take all their bows So if they reanimate they can't shoot people

So you guys Open this gate you're able to reach through or like use a mage and get back into the catacombs you go and place the bones back kind of You're able to reach through or like use a Mage Hand, get back into the Catacombs. You go and place the bones back kind of where you assume they would go, but there's no clear guide to where they would go. Zerke and I both have identified that we can cast this ritual, so we can find out exactly which bones are we each. Oh yeah, we're pulling up like a family history scroll. We're doing 23 knee for these bones. How long does it take to cast a spell's original?

10 minutes. 10 minutes. Oh, okay, okay, so let's say, what do we say? There's probably like 16 skeletons here. So you guys both take a couple of hours. I got nothing but time. No where to be. And, Henry, you just take a load off.

We'll handle this. I do like a quick little hand gesture to turn book Vart into a word search book for Henry. Oh, this is awesome. I love a word jumble. You have to look for the double letters. That's the key. So you guys take a bit.

You find the proper tombs for these different bodies. And you are able to place the skeletons back respectfully where they were originally buried, and you take their bows from them, which they probably shouldn't have had bows to begin with, not a great idea, especially during the reaping season. Any good ones?

Any good ones, absolutely not. There are short bows though, If you want a bow, you can have a bow. Yes, I've always dreamed of some day being an archer miss. You are strangely dexterous for a book. Yes, I'm not great at opening doors, but I am adept at making pizza. So I assume I would argue. He would argue what? Henry? Nothing, nothing. I'm just looking for the word candlestick. And I can't find it. What have I said to you about book bars confidence? Okay. I just I really like the idea of me being very far away from danger and shooting danger with arrows. Fair enough, that kind of appeals to me.

Great, so you guys have a cachet of rusty weapons. I can sell them to the blacksmith, she is beautiful. Pile them on the boneboat, everything goes on the boneboat. This is a barge at this point. The bone barge. So you all exit the catacombs and are back in this chapel. You've got the bone barge with you here. And you see that it is night. You came in here at dawn between having to work your way through the catacombs and dealing with the ghost of Sebastian and the broken art banshee and

speaking to her and then taking time to identify and put these bones away properly. A lot of time has passed and it is night again. All right, where do I drive this barge to, huh? Well, the barge is connected to me. So actually, if you want to kept in the barge, you kind of have to kept in me. So tell me, point where I run and I run,

and then the barge follows me. Should we attach a rain to fear? I feel suddenly conflicted about being the skipper. Bye, point the direction. I love to run. I only because I know that very well. Let's cool. Let's, uh, let's take these bones to that gravesite that we talked about. Okay? Okay, I'll take off. Whoa! Yeah, you guys get a little whiplash on the bone barge.

My back. Do you want to find a place like outside of town? Because right now, you guys are on the other side of the river. There's like a bridge that takes you near like the forest and near the graveyard. Do you want to go like into town to bury her? Just like, it's a little bit weird because that's kind of like most people are buried outside. You can kind of let me know where you want to take her.

She seemed to like the idea of being buried near the bars. They're like a spot in the graveyard that overlooks the town. Yeah, you see that this is sort of like a hilly area and you find an area atop a hill with like a nice tree that looks like it would get some nice shade during the day, but would also be able to see the town in one direction. You'd be able to clearly see the sunset.

It's a nice spot just outside of sort of the boundaries of the normal cemetery. What do you all think about this? Sounds great. Seems like Primo picnic spot. Oh, picnic? Actually, I could go for a funeral pizza both far. Oh, oh boy. Okay, let's see what I have with me. I have string cheese. Okay. And I don't have tomato sauce either, but I do have ketchup. I also have a flagging of sour cherry lecour I guess I will take my blade light it up with green flame blade so that Bookfar has an oven to cook on oh and I can with my alchemy skills create a set of cooking utensils

So I can help book far out sweet Bookfar you got this ketchup at a store, correct? Yes, Miss Pia and I stored it. How is that book sweating? What do you, okay. What do you mean stored it? It's sweating ketchup. Ketchup is book's best.

No joke, book bar just rolled a nat one. But he gets the help actions from me. I have a, I have a, my blade is a light. Okay, um, 17 that time. Um, you see, um, BookFart does a, BookFart kicks it off by just absolutely shattering a glass vial of ketchup all over Henry. Um, but fuck.

Oh, you hate to see that. I'm sorry. That's, okay, the one part of pizza making, I'm not great at, but then is able to make you guys, what are essentially sandwiches, like open-faced sandwiches? Okay. I'm featuring like a lunchable pizza. Yeah, a lunchable pizza.

I do like, so, great work, book far. Thank you. Oh, while we're here, can I inspect Henry's arms? I just wanna see how the bone claws are looking. Make sure I haven't permanently scarred him. So the bone claws only last for an hour, I believe. So they were there while you were dealing with the ghosts, but they have since gone away.

And you see that it looks like it's healed up. It looks like there's some like magical healing going on But it does look like you're hitting like a punching bag or something You've got some like bruising around your knuckles Yeah, and this could also have been from the boxing so don't don't blame yourself for this Yeah, I'm just amazed at how well that worked I mean it was supposed to work and worked as intended but still That went surprisingly well.

Yeah, it was awesome, except for the excruciating pain that caused me when they grew out of my body, but aside from that, it was cool to have them. Maybe I could apply some sort of balm that would help the pain as they come out. And if you want me to make you claws like this again, I think I can. I think I've got a handle on the formula now.

I'll get back to you. All right, should we dig a hole for Sadie's bones? I already have while you talk. Oh my God. See what's so deep. Fear with it. It doesn't have to be this way. Yeah.

How did you? Kind of like the sprinting thing. I just dig, dig, dig, and I do not have to stop. This is a pool. This is how we play. We dig holes. Fear and I just dig dig dig and I don't know how to stop this is a pool This is how we play we dig holes He and I just go into the woods and she digs holes and I say dig dig dig we're gonna dig today. We're gonna dig a hole I put him on mute. It's quite annoying. This is this is a Grave that anybody would envy. This is the biggest fucking whole I've ever seen. Yes.

As you say, this via starts to feel a little petty and wishes this was her grave. Do not lay down. What do you do? Are you okay? I just thought it's the really good grave. Okay. Open your eyes. Give me the bones.

Open your eyes. You have the bone barge lower into this grave that Fiya has just dug. You carefully remove the bones and you place them in the hole. Okay, and then I, you know, take all my enthusiasm into putting the dirt back in the hole that I just made.

God, you did that so fast. How did you double it? Like that. You're just grunting and throwing dirt on these bones as BookFar tries to give a little speech. As you all see this, it looks like I'm not sweating, but BookFar is sweating for me. Yes, well Miss Sadie, we did not know her for very long,

but she did rip out a bunch of people's hearts. That part was not her fault. She was sort of... I liked the part that she declined marriage. Yes, that was great. She's a strong... That was a dope. She's a strong, independent woman.

Yes, yes. We wish her the best in the world beyond. Yes, queen. Absolutely, yes, we wish you the best in the world beyond yes queen Absolutely, yes, I simply must say that we stand her Yes, we all stand Sadie Bellwater. I don't know about all these I just don't know and as we had said before we shall avenge you miss As we had said before we shall avenge you miss

That was that was a promise that is a contract. We did not specify a timeline. I want everyone to remember That's true There is no I know you know how to write you could really be writing all this down and then presenting it to us It doesn't need to be so informal. I'm just saying we can work on your legal negotiation skills Sprite is just fully chasing a squirrel through a tree. I pity that squirrel. He heard me. So you have all successfully buried Sadie out here under this tree.

Well, it's night again, which means, I don't really know what our sleep schedule is, but do you all wanna stay up, eat some pizza and start talking about how exactly we're going to kill Fergus? Yeah, where where should we sleep tonight? Should we go to your place? I feel like we've been like bouncing around. Yeah, I need to make sure you don't have like a hot tub or an

infrared sauna that you've been withholding. Actually, if you have a tub, I could really go for a soak. I might, I, yeah, I've a, there's a bone bath all over the place. There's a bath that we use to like clean the bones and, you know, like wash off debris that might have collected on the corpses. That might work. Shall open. We're talking about going to the morgue again. Is that, that plan's coming back around? Book var, it will be good for you build character. What is a book without some characters, all right? That's a good point, miss.

I don't know if it entirely means that, but I get what you're saying. See you all across the bridge, across the river, back into Thorn Kirk, and Sirc, you live in like a little apartment above Dr. Neville's office, you live in like a little apartment above Dr. Neville's office. That is in the town square. And as you all walk into the town square, it's all lit up by the Sprite lamps, cobblestone streets. You see that

there's a bit of an odd crowd here. Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. I got an eight, 18, seven. So all of you, even even those of you with not great roles see amongst the townsfolk that are out here drinking and relaxing in the square. This is this is a pretty normal thing in the town squares like there's the copper dagger here. And there's of course, open container is allowed in Thorncirk. Nice. And so I can keep my flagging of sour cherry, licor. Yes.

So out in the square here, there are people like sitting on the fountain and having a drink and stuff. But you do see amongst the town's folk here that are drinking and relaxing after a day of work, there's a bunch of nights in plate mail with red tabards. And you guys see that there's a sigil on the tabards of a jackalope, which is a rabbit with horns.

This is the house sigil of the Petty King, Thurston Brightleap. You know that the under-mountain empire has its different sections that are almost like their own countries, and they all answer to the high queen of the capital. So Thorn Kirk is in a section called Outerboro and Bright Leap is the petty king of that area. So he's kind of like the Duke and it is very unusual for the King's soldiers to be out in the boonies like this. In Zurk, with a high perception check,

you not only see all of these knights, you see that on their tabards, there's also a set of small gold scales, and then on top of that, a lot of the knights look almost like hedge knights. They have kind of mismatched armor or they have strange weapons. Like when you think of a knight,

you think of like, like a long sword in a shield. But you see a lot of them have like clubs and kind of strange weapons. A lot of them look kind of more like bandits in Knights Regalia. So this is like the B team, some rougher cruts. It definitely looks like some rougher crutes. Yeah, and you see spilling out of

the copper dagger is Marcy Who is the inspector of the town watch you guys had met down on the river you see Marcy her hair is a mess her cheeks are all flush her hair is a mess, her cheeks are all flush, and she pokes her head out of the tavern and spots you three. And she goes, where have you three been all day? We got a new Baroness. Oh, oh, congr- Happy Baroness day. Congratulations. Not to me? I lost my fucking job, man. Oh, oh, okay. Congratulations then. So what happened to the old Baron?

You see she laughs and she goes like, all right, you don't have a place to sleep now. Come buy me a drink. You see she goes back in the tavern. We're gonna have to go buy her a drink. We should follow up on this. Mr. Henry. I grab Henry by the arms. Mr. Henry, what does this mean about the pool? We're not gonna be eating shrimp scampi for a while, Fiya. Via shutters and her tears come out of bookfar.

I put my hand on bookfar. We'll find the way we'll find the way back. I just feel like as an emotional support familiar I shouldn't have to take all of the emotions I feel so emotional about the point. No, I only give you the bad ones like sphating and crying I'm just sweating as a terrible emotion. She was pre-injecting you with water. How is this work? I don't know. I am a witch Is there I am a witch? I don't know. I am a witch, I am a witch. Tell me this is not how the cheese is made. I run off.

So you enter a cozy pub, fire roaring in the fireplace. You see a few brazers around the room. Candle wax dripping onto long wooden tables. There's a short, stocky woman with white hair behind the bar in a green apron. In here, it smells of meat pies and ale. Marcy plops down with you guys in a seat in the corner, not all in one seat,

you're all at a table in the corner. Y'all grab tankards of ale, you sit with her, you see that there are a few of these like, hedge knight looking dudes that are wearing the bright leap family armor, the colors of the petty king and you see Marcy just kind of rubs her head. She's in that Being drunk where she almost seems more hungover than she does drunk like she's been drinking all day and is like

It'll be good to switch off the hard stuff. I can sober up with some beer. Yep, that's logical. Here, why don't you try one of these book pizzas as well? This might help. And maybe a little puff of one of the cigars, that always picks me up. Am I allowed to smoke in here? You're smoking two cigars right now. Oh yeah, I know, I should have asked first. Yeah, the barkeep goes to cigars per customer. Okay, I deep the mouth of my cigar

into my tall dark style, catching some of the foam. And then I, You are making cigars sound so good, it's so delicious. I want one. I'm gonna need, I'm gonna also need two of those. I roll up a bunch. I'm gonna need, I'm gonna also need two of those. I roll up a bunch. I take my dark, I take my, the leaves from the woods that I wrap my tobacco in and I, I make some for everyone.

So drinking a shoe. Marcy, Marcy smokes a garce with you. It just goes like, this morning there was a royal edict from King Brightleap. A bunch of the petty king's bannerman came into town this morning. They have assigned documents from multiple members of the barren's family that Soastians father disowned him on his deathbed and declared him a bastard. His uncle and several other extended family members claimed to have been witnesses, so Ascians lost his claim to Thorn Kirk,

which is reverted to his uncle, who has signed it over to Madam Whitlock for a price no doubt. Madam Whitlock. That's a fun little twist. I mean, she makes a nice bitterness. I cannot argue this. She certainly looks the part. I mean, she makes a nice bitterness, like I cannot argue this.

She certainly looks the part. Marcine, we spent the early morning in the crypt, playing with the bones of his father. Do you think that we did this somehow? You say she looks absolutely baffled, playing with his dead soul. To exercise a ghost that was eating car to the hungry. No, no, no, no. It's a reading season.

I'm sorry, is the supernatural surprising to you? No, no, it's not surprising to me. Easy, easy, okay? God, this has been a fucking rough day. Look, I'm sorry. It's okay, have a puff, have a puff. It's obviously a lie. None of this is real. The Baron's father has been dead for five years.

It would have been brought up then. Someone is taking advantage of all the infighting in the Fennrose family. It wouldn't be hard to pay one of them off. I'm guessing the rooks had something to do with that. The real question is, why is the crown legitimizing this? The real question is, why is the crown legitimizing this? Anyone with any amount of pull can bring a case to the Petty King's court, but something so obviously false would normally just get thrown out immediately. Why does the Petty King owe the rooks? You see she kind of leans back and takes a puff and thinks. Well, we actually are owed a meeting with Madam Whitlock.

We could try and find some more information for you. We're currently in a business dealing with her, and I don't know if that's changed now that she's upgraded her status, but we still have information that she needs and vice versa. Yeah. You see, she shrugs and she she goes well, I guess for me

This is all out of pure curiosity because I don't have a I don't have a fucking job anymore. They First thing she did as Baroness was hand my job over to Fergus Whitlock Hmm, I fucking hate that guy. Yeah, he's not great. So he's like the head inspector now Yeah, he's the captain of the guard. Hmm. And you see, you see she goes, well, if you wanted to talk to Madam Whitlock, she's in the Baron's keep. They removed him from the keep this morning, gave him a

chance to surrender. He pulled out a, um, epa, I believe it's called, um, and attempted to stab the Baroness. Yeah. What did they do? And they, they, they took him and he's currently at the jailhouse. Marcy, please tell me someone did a watercolor of this moment, because I'm so sad. I didn't know I could see this.

If you're good at painting, I can... I'm not. I can tell it to you in detail. Okay, I'll find a painter. Right. I have a question, Marcy. Um, Fergus, does he now occupy the old office that you want occupied? He does. Okay, no.

My train, I have trap doors, false floors of boxes, lots of secrets that only I would know. Do you have any secrets, any secrets, entrance, anything that we could use to spy? Let me go ahead and make a roll for her. You see, she nods and she goes, the jailhouse has two levels. There's a jail and some offices on the first floor, but below that, there's a dungeon for the more dangerous or important prisoners. Now, in order to get into the dungeon,

you have to go through several locked gates on the jail level and then go down the steps. But, given that we've been raided before, I've never been comfortable with only having one way out of the dungeon, lest I be trapped there myself. So, at the far end of the hall, on the right, there's a locked cell that is never used. There's a false tile in the ceiling that will lead you up to my office on the first floor. You wouldn't still happen to have a key to the jail, I don't imagine.

Let me go ahead and roll a pure luck check. She leans back and pulls out a big key ring and goes, yeah, they replace me so fast and considering that my replacement is a fucking moron. They manage to leave a set of keys on me. May we copy them? Oh yeah, what is this? You see, she realized she's getting ahead of herself. She's like a little drunk and she just goes like,

wait, what are you gonna do with the keys? We're gonna go in there and we're gonna try to get you your job back. Spritele, that's not a promise. It is not a promise. I hold Spritele. So again, not a promise. You see like already making this little tree

that's gonna die, it's not. Stop it now, stop it now. I get a fanny net and I get you. We're going to try in earnest. If he does not circumambulate us, it does not count. Sprydall, get in your jar. Get in your jar. You see, she goes, I mean, if it's a headache for them,

fuck it, why not? You see she throws the keys on the table. All right, what are these two your apartment? Do you want that one? No, get a shit. I'm probably gonna sleep in the alley tonight Okay, so that's not how you bounce back from something like this. I'm just saying You're going to have a really bad hangover tomorrow and you will have a verse on if you sleep in the alley But I'll be closer to the bar to start drinking again tomorrow. That's a fair point. Here's a little map I'm ready to get to my train. Please at least sleep in the train. I just got lump I've got Lumbar problem So for me to like walk all the way home I'd rather just sleep in the trash. Does that? Oh my god, say it you have to try this stool They're just sleeping the trash. Does that oh my god, Sint, you have to try this stool

Fia, why don't you call a bone barge to take Marcy home If I call a bone barge, will you take the bone barge home and get a good nice leap? Yeah, that sounds wild sure Okay, I will escort you home I think that you just need to sleep this off. will feel better if you have a good nice lead Sweet sleep on your side with a pillow between your knees. That's gonna take your the pressure off your low spine, okay? Henry I've never heard about this low bag you have so many problems here it sounds I Been dealing with it for an eternity You got a lot of take a look at that

for an eternity. You got to let us take a look at that. Once again, some of the bone barge. Can I run in a score her back? Yeah, you scored her back. It follows me. That's how this bell works. I might as well start to just doing lift here, huh? With my bone barge. Did you make any money just now? I don't know. I look to see if anyone hails me. You see, yeah, you see Marcy, like halfway home, forgets that she's not in a carriage, just like throws you a bunch of copper and then just goes to her little apartment. I, uh, I sleep the copper under her door. Thank you. Oh, that's nice. You're here loudly snoring on the other side already. Okay, crawl to the bed.

Crawl to the bed. So yeah, so just to kind of be clear from like what you guys just heard from Marcy, it does not sound like the parents family would have an actual cause to do this unless they were being bribed or had some other ulterior motive. Because if they thought the land should not have gone to him, they would have brought up a legitimate reason years ago. The bear is like 30. Mr. Henry, you seem to know a lot of things. One is who is the uncle of your bear,

that is who made the deal with Madame Whitlock if I hear correct. Yeah, so Henry you Actually Henry go ahead and give me a history check all right That is a 13 can book for give him the help action This is less this is more of just Henry's personal history, like how much he kind of paid attention to the Barron stories or something. The Barron, the Barron does not talk very much about his family because he did not even get along

with his own father, so he's just like a man of hobbies. But the hobbies he talks about a lot. Yes, he talks a lot about his hobbies. You know, how good of a horse rider he is and all of that is a cultressage Yeah, yeah, how good how good he is a dressage How much he loves dancing horses Champagne Ed. Yeah, it's just a flurry of dancing horses dance through Henry's head as he's Also no one else on every year. Yeah.

Also, no one else on the ballot. Yeah, I'm held at Aero Point to do so. Henry, you think about it. You know that he has an uncle named Winfrey, but they're not important in this case. They just made the claim. The petty king is the one who cast this edict. What you do know though is that all of these petty kings and queens of the territories answer to the high queen of the capital and you actually know someone who has contacts there that could possibly get the Baron out of this

situation. Your ex. She is related to the Fenroses, plus her new husband is from the Loch Namor family, which is an old, important family who definitely has contacts in the capital. Right, so I think I know somebody that might be able to weigh in here, but I think it would honestly be easier to kill Fergus ourselves. Should we like write them a letter so we can like get that started? No, okay, okay. Not being touched with them at all.

Bookfarr goes, well, it's just that's even if we kill Fergus, Madame Whitlock will still be the Baroness until there is some kind of actual. Holy art. Don't you want to practice your archery or some shit? Please. Bookfarr go practice your archery. Listen to Mr. Henry. Look far. Henry, I can just walk down to the Rookery and write a note real quick.

I can, you know, I can sign your name on it if you want. Please do not do that, especially not with my name. Yes, there's someone special that you know that could read this. There's someone, I don't find them to be special at all. There's somebody that might look, if you want to write a note, just that it has nothing to do with me. Okay, that's, I'll give you an address if you really want to write a note and send it off. But don't just don't use my name at all, all right?

It does, it does occur to you that part of the reason the baron might have been like locked away is to like stop him from going to his contacts. And so like, you could forge a note from the baron. Like that wouldn't be that difficult. That could be maybe be, maybe we we can get to the baron and have him write this note that I don't want to write. And we might have an official seal we could use, yeah. And also I guess he's in jail, so maybe we should try to get him out of jail. He was very hospitable to me. I think I owe him something.

We do. I will suggest that for me, the most important thing right now is making sure this madam with lock person gives us this information so that if we are dealing against her, it will not prevent us from learning this information. That's very true. Yeah. Things are probably going to go sour. My suggestion would be we go get the information of where your man Mr. Zirk was going before we sour this relationship. Okay. Yeah. First things first. Let's just break this all down and bullet points for me. Okay. So, okay. So we need to know where Dr. Neville was going. We need to, we need to understand why the rooks have been legitimized. We need to put my cousin back in power and we need to kill Forgis. Is that about right? I don't know if we need to put your cousin back in power, but we might as well get him out of jail.

We could just we could book our just goes we could just skate out of here. That's also That's why you with your clumsy with your clumsy skating. I'd like to see you try Failing to rollerblade you could turn it into a skate I guess like in like a man to ray. I think for me There's quite a lot on our plate Which is good. I'm a hungry girl child, but I think the first thing first is to make sure we get this information from madam We'd lock yeah, we then we get to the bargain. And then we get to the bargain. We did our part, so let's try to get that information we were promised. So, as a chance, we could swipe a crest while we're there, or some sort of sigil.

Sweet, you all head over to the Baron's Keep. Okay, as we are going, I would like what I'd like to do is I would like to create an unseen servant yet another ritual, I only 10 minutes. And I would like to send this unseen servant into the barons office to retrieve a sigil. Oh, shit, how far do you have to be from it? The spell creates an invisible, mindless, shapeless medium force that performs simple tasks

at your command until the spell ends. The servant springs into existence in an on-occupied space on the ground within range. It says range of 60 feet. Once each of your turns as a bonus action, you can mentally command the servant to move up to 15 feet and interact with an object. Cool. So you create this unseen servant. It follows you along.

Bookfar flaps dutifully next to you. You guys get to the Baron's keep. You see that the gates are open and you see that a bunch of rook goons are tossing some of the Baron's belongings out into the main courtyard. You see that there are a few guards here that are kind of looking uneasy. You see the same guard that you saw the other night who lets you come in and go into the pool, kind of stops you as you go to the gates. Henry, I don't know if you've heard, but there's been kind of a shift. Yeah, I totally get it. We're just here, we're here to do two things.

One, we did wanna see Madame Waitlock, but the other, I have, as you know, I have my bindle in the little pool house. Shit, Mr. Henry needs his hot plate. Mm-hmm. I brought six of them. Yeah, I brought several of my own hot plates. You see the guard, the guard winces

as some ruckagoon's carelessly toss own hot plates. You see the guard, the guard winces as some ruckagoons carelessly toss your hot plates out of the place. Hey. Oh, there they go. Oh, right into the pool. Oh, those are not supposed to go in here. You see a couple of ruckagoons whisper to each other

and then one walks over and kind of nudges the guard out of the way and goes, you got business with the Baroness? Absolutely. Indeed. Follow me. Gladly. Takes you three into the keep. Can I do a perception check just to see if they ruined all of my hot plates? Or was it just...

Yes, yes. It would be cool, Henry, if you could save one and sort of use it like a hot maze. So you're like swinging it around and can hit someone with five damage Yeah, sir forget these bone claws I have a new idea. We can work on this. Yeah I just find a really long extension cord It's a 12. Okay, Henry. How many hot place do you think you had? I had six. You had six hot place. I know I had six Okay, we're gonna roll the D6 to see how many hot

Place of Okay, I say I want you to roll D6 see how many hot plates I rolled a fucking five But that one hot plate will be so precious now. You see one hot plate survives Cushioned by the other broken hot plates beneath it as a bunch of goons are just like taking your stuff out of this room I'll come back. I'll come back for you You guys all enter the keep so as we enter I say to Henry will you point out to me the So as we enter I say to Henry will you point out to me the window where the barren's office is. I nod towards the open door way down the hall. Okay I nod to

bookfar he knows what to do to go fly to that window to be so that I can look through him and help to tell the unseen servant what to do. You see bookfargo's oh be as sneaky as possible miss we're being very sneaky bookfarer only I have this adventure on stealth checks okay I swear to God is there any way you can make him stop sweating it's just sweating everywhere clapping all over the way it's so bad all of the ink is bleeding it's like mascara running bookfarfar just kind of slides along the ground and this unseen servant makes its way down the hall towards where you'd know the Baron would write his letters and stuff like that. I turn to Mr. Zerck and Mr. Henry. My attention will be elsewhere. So I will try to help you,

but my attention's perhaps maybe elsewhere. Okay, we'll just nudge you if you need to say yes or no. You see that it is a flurry of activity in here, but probably one of the last places to get picked apart would be like the barren study because they would probably like keep a lot of his books and things like that. And maybe even to do forgeries of their own. So you think you're probably safe in that respect. So bookfar and the unseen servant sneak down the one hall. Go ahead and make a stealth check for bookfar but I'll give him advantage.

Bookfar got a 15. 15. Okay cool. I guess if you wanted to hide you could just turn into a regular book. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. You see, humming the mission impossible soundtrack to himself, as he shoves himself into different bookcases to look like a regular book. Every time somebody goes by, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, and just shoves himself into a bookcase. Where'd he go?

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code papa at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. As you guys approach this main hall that they're taking you to meet with Adam Whitlock, go ahead and give me perception checks. See if you go over here anything. Yeah, baby.

Okay. I rolled a, I got a 21. Whoa. It's 12. 19. Okay. This was a DC 20 to hear kind of like everything that's going on because there is so much activity in here, but Henry, you specifically hear, you're able to just like separate out the other noise because you hear

Madame Whitlock's voice kind of rises above the others and you hear her go, what did they want with Penley? You hear this name Penley? And then you hear a super-gruff voice go, well, as far as I know, he was one of the blades, and the King's new advisor is a sorceress, a real scale-tipper, so she's got no love for friends of the trickster. King's gotten religious in his old age

and they don't like the blades, at least, not the ones who haven't turned already. I don't care any of this because I didn't pass the perception. So I just say, did you guys hear anything? I don't think I heard anything interesting. So you guys are led into the main hall. And you see Madame Whitlock looking pristine and all white

with her parasol resting on her shoulder, kicks back and drinks a glass of wine with a stringy man covered in scars with wispy gray hair and a huge bald spot. He wears a nice set of splint mail and a long red cape that doesn't match the rest of him. There are a bunch of goons around here, a bunch of guards, and there are a couple more of these rough looking knights in the Petty King's colors.

And you see, as you enter the room, Madame Whitlock looks up and acknowledges all of you guys. I immediately curtsy. and I'm Whitlock, looks up and acknowledges all of you guys. And she's... I immediately curtsy. And greetings to the Berenas and congratulations on your deserved ascension. Henry Salutes, you're here. Go ahead and give me deception checks.

I'll say with advantage, because this is just minor. Shout out to the two crew on the first... Oh, yes, bitch! I got a 19, which turns into an 18. 18. Great. I'll say that this is mostly Fiya doing this because she's kind of leading the way

and doing a curtsy. You see the Baroness, Madame Whitlock, nods, and she gestures for you to take a seat. It is good to see a woman in power. I wink. She goes, thank you. Well, I've always run this town. They just decided to make it official.

Y'all, asparagus. Y'all asparagus. Again, I'm skeptical of this. I take a seat. You take a seat and she turns to the rough look and fella and goes, Jack, I'll see you before you're off tomorrow. And you see he smiles, missing a bunch of teeth.

And he goes, sounds good. I got some celebrating to do. And you see as he exits via, he has betilled as blade at his side. Oh! What? He has Batilda's blade at his side. Oh! What? Okay, truthfully, my instinct is to fucking chase him.

Is there any kind of role I can do to try to calm myself? Um, wisdom save? Hey. Can I do a perception check? Yeah, we know this. Fuck her. I Can I do a perception check We've been watching her to break into a dead sprint of fun at any point she can be breaking you know dead spring That's I rolled an 18 on my perception. It's a 14. Okay, my wisdom saying however was quite good and it was a 21 okay And it was a 21. Okay, wow. Fiya, I'll say you can gather yourself, but with those perception checks, Zirken Henry.

My throat goes dry as the desert. Yeah, you see Fiya, like suddenly, gets an intense look on her face. My tusks, I bear my tusks. Ooh, okay. This guy exits, and he is joined by a couple of these hedge knight-looking dudes. I would like to walk into Bukvar, see if they have retrieved the Baron's sigil and perhaps send Bukvar to

follow him. Sweet, go ahead and give me an investigate check. And Owl has advantage on perception checks. He can do perception. He can do perception. Ooh, Bookfar rolled in 18 and a 19. Oh my gosh. Plus three is a 22. You get really mad in this moment. You quickly like, worg into Bookfar kind of like cover your face.

You guys doing this perception check, kind of like trying to make sure Fiya's keeps cool, see her eyes turn milky white as she fears her teeth. Um, feel it. And, um, Fiya, you see that bookfarer and the unseen servant have successfully grabbed this little like stamp. Bookfarer, follow this man and find out whatever you can. I will lose my connection to you, but I trust you.

He has betil does blade. I will follow him this. Bum bum bum bum bum. Bookfar shows himself back in the library, puts him in a self in another bookcase, and then floats out after this dude trying to figure out who he is. And you guys are at this table with a bunch of rooks and with Madame Whitlock,

and she looks up and she goes, is it done then? Well, it's done, and we've got the trinket to prove it on I gestured a fear. Fear is just like red faced and see there. Yeah. But yes, this will be necklace. This was worn on her. This is this belonged to the ghost. No more hearts will be taken. She gives a nod and she goes, well, there haven't been any attacks tonight. But given the current circumstances, I have even more reason to

want to protect my people. So you won't mind if I confirm your story. You see, she pulls out a small vial of like a cloudy purple liquid. I hold out my glass. She slides it down the table and she goes, Dr. Zonk, I'm sure you can confirm this is a simple potion, truth serum. Once I know for sure that the horror has been defeated, I'll deliver the information. I would suggest, because I understand you are the bearness,

but please understand that this is a lot to ask of three people. Nearly having one of us drink this serum should be enough. That's fair. I am just saying I have had true serum before, it does not sit well in my stomach. I drink it. Oh, Zerke, you drink it down.

I cooff that shit. Zerke, you are... Oh, actually, Zerke, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Fuck. I have good constitution save, but I rolled very poorly. That is going to be a seven. Okay, all that means is you would have been in a slight advantage had you saved because then you could have lied

and she would have thought you were telling the truth. I got it. The criminal shift, just in case. Oh, nice. Just in case she gets tricky, yes. Yeah, nice. You just pat my back like I'm a colloquy baby. I think that if he is very angry right now

and feels powerless seeing her, her witch is blade in a crooks hilt. And so she just kind of slaps the zirka upside the head. Got it down, got it down. Sorry, there was a fly on his temple. Colonel, Colonel shift, by the way, is part of Colonel G. Wizard. It kind of works like luck points.

So he is writing a zirk roll again. Sir, what you get? Amazing. Fiya, thank you so much. You've upped my three to a six. That's a 10 total. A 10 total, brutal. Okay. Yep.

You are under the effects of the zone of truth spell. Mm-hmm. After you kick this potion back, you see she goes, all right, Dr. Zonk, who was killing my associates? It was the Broken Heart Banshee, Sadie Bellwater. I believe that your brother was sent to escort her out of town, but ended up killing her and taking her gold. You see her eyes, let's say this is so matter of fact,

you see her eyes go wide. And you see a bunch of people in the room like look kind of confused. And instantly you realize that this was something that she had like covered up. You know, we learned that, but most of us forgot it. I don't think anybody remembers that last time. It's locked in my mind, still trapped.

I'll always remember this detail. This spell does not require you to talk only to tell the truth, right? Why would you give us a truth theorem if you want us to bury something? You see, she sends a few of her people and it's just left with like a few like loyal people and she goes that's not exactly how I remember it happening. Perhaps there's some sort of side effect with the potion. Perhaps you're resisting it somehow. I've studied truth serums before. There's actually no side effects. You know what? I'll take the ghost slide. I think the ghost slide and we bought are a lie.

Oh gosh, we are such. By the way, it is making me gasp. She's one of the side effects. It does make me gasp and apologize. That could also be the book pizza. All right. The cheese is still sitting weird with me as well. All right.

Why did you have a true serum too, huh? Can't even... Just that I'm okay being honest about. Whatever mis-consued lie that this ghost is peddling, has she been destroyed? Yes. We also killed the old Baron's dad, because he was annoying.

Oh, okay. So I don't know if we get extra for that or. Okay. Okay. No, you did that on your own. We don't give you a chatty truth serum or just that regular, because it sounds like a chatty. We gave him a little bit of wine and he seems to get chatty very quickly.

I used to reach into a small pack at her side and produces a note. There's a small scrolled map of the Queen's River, which is the river that flows through Thorncork. You see that there is a mark where it flows south into a series of mountains called the Scale Tip Valley and you see Madame Whitlock goes, he wanted us to take him south into the valley but wanted to stop before he reached any of the towns in Innerboro. Said he was meeting someone there, that's the information I have. Hands you guys the map. I'm worried I will never truly be capable of loving another person. There's no need to speak. You can be silent now.

Can I do an inside check on this map to see if I think it is the truth or if it is... Sure. A lie. Yeah. 16. You remember that when you were with Patilda? Any time she would meet with people or something? 16. You remember that when you were with Patilda, anytime she would meet with people or something,

she was always like a little cagey, it wouldn't be uncommon for them to want to meet other people of the blades like outside of towns, or even in this case like, Adam Mountain Pass, where somebody could get a view of him before they went down and met him. You know what I mean? So you almost get the, when you look at this map,

he sexually feels authentic. This feels authentic. This feels like if you got there, probably whoever was trying to meet Nebel is probably in those mountains and has some way to see this area. Thank you so much. Bereness. She goes, thank you. I couldn't have done any of this without you indeed. We appreciate it. I'm going to burp in three two one Quite cute like a little frog. God bless you All right, thank you. Thank you. I think I'm coming down from the effects. They'll they'll see you out All right. Thank you. Thank you. I think I'm coming down from the effects. They'll they'll see you out. Oh, one last thing on our way out. I used to I just I used to live here. So if I could try the small pool house and pick up some of my things, no pressure.

No, I'm not trying to do anything funny. Just want to get a couple of my belongings on our way. I'd love to take one last dip in the pool. Guys, go ahead and give me a persuasion checks. Not my strong suit, nine. No. I got a six. First, we're OK.

Leave my mind is warm. That's going to be a six. You see, she looks at you with deadly serious eyes and goes, we're winter-proofing the pool right now. It's closed for the season. That's the worst news I've heard all day. And yes, I believe a lot of the things proofing the pool right now it's closed for the season that's the worst news i heard all day and uh... i yes i i i i believe uh... a lot of uh... the barons things were removed this

morning if you could find anything out on the lawn you're uh... more than welcome to it okay we will i uh... i think both because i know i want to try to uh... find their book for his. I want to stock this. I whisper to Mr. Henry and Mr. Zerk, I am in Hunter mode. This person has stolen my witches blade. I need to go stock my prey. Yeah, let's run on the inside and walk on the outside.

Just remain in the queue. You will have to grab my hood to stop me. I think the bathroom is that way. Fiya, yes, let's all go. So you all are led out of the barons keep by a couple of goons. And Fiya is trying to run Henry kind of like holding her cloak back, but then you guys find yourself.

Hold my cloak, hold my cloak. I am, it's hard. You guys find yourselves on the other side of this gate far enough away from the rooks. Do we get the hot plate? Did I have a chance to pick up the hot plate on the lawn? Yeah, you saw the one good hot plates. You're able to take it. You do see that one of the rooks out here is wearing some

of your clothes. Does it fit him better than it fits Henry? Yeah, it looks, yeah, it really like tapers off. He's got way broader shoulders. So like he just looks really good. I thought they had reboot cuts on you, but I guess you just have skinny calves. No, I think that I think if anything, he has two thick calves, I have the normal size of calves. Fill in those things out. Wow. I also have the normal size of shoulders.

I wasn't up for debate, but okay. The normal size of everything. Henry, you're able to find like a small pack of your things to bring with you. All right. It was really all I care about is the hot plate, but I'm glad I have a couple extra changes on the way. Mr. Henry, I am blinded by rage right now, but I would like to ask, I worry you have lost a homie.

You did not seem to have too much affection for the home, but I want you to know there is an empty train car in my train graveyard if you are looking. It gives good shelter from the elements and hides you from predators. You know, that's exactly what I was looking for here, just shelter from predators. And actually, when I, the night that I spent at the train card, I've vastly preferred it to my cot here.

The smells of your cigars, the aroma. I stink up the glen. It's honestly, yeah, that's all I've ever wanted. But look, I have to tell you, I think I gotta tell you what I heard on our way into Madame Whitlocks. Yes, ma, did you hear? That guy, that guy was talking about killing blades.

He was talking about killing blades? But blades are so strong, no one could ever kill a blade. Yeah, it sounded like... It's like that, he must have stolen. He stole her blade, that's the only way that someone could separate the blade from Batilda. He said some of the blades, which sides? Batilda would never. I don't know anything about Batilda, but I just know that whatever is going on with

blades she could be in trouble. Do you know where she was going when she left? I don't. This is why I have thirsted after this information, because I thought maybe Dr. Neville was going to the same place that Patilda was going. It seems like wherever Dr. Neville was going was some sort of safe haven or hideout for the blade, so maybe they'd know more information there. Or maybe some of these blades turned on, turned on each other and told about Dr. Neville's

plans. Mr. Henry, Dr. Zerke, Betilda could not have turned. And she cannot be dead. I must get her blade back from this man and then we will go from there. Okay, so first we'll kill Fergus and then we'll kill this guy and then we'll get out of town.

Seems great, seems like a good order of operation. I don't know if we need to kill him. I just want to get her blessed blade out of his stinky scabbard Okay, look you guys you guys let me retrieve the one thing in the world that I wanted to hang on to this here Hot plate You are greatling it like a baby. I lost my son. This is all I have left All I have left. Whoa, oh, you have a son now too, you have a pool,

and a son, and we'll look down on him. I'll tell you, look, I'll tell you later, let's get you your sword. Yeah, I grab Spritele in my hand and squeeze them and say, we will help you do this thing. Just furiously buzzing. We will not promise that we will do it, we will help you do this thing. W furiously buzzing. We will not promise that we will do it. We will help you do this thing.

Wiggling in your hand. All of our available spirits and will power through our best. Stop it, level best. Is bookvar still inside? Bookvar, I sent bookvar to follow this man. This man, he left, did he leave the barons? Yeah, he left. He's out celebrate.

And go ahead and, Fia, I'll say give me a perception check. Or Arcona. My Arcona is six, so 18. 18. Fia, you feel kind of a book far ping from this like... Is that I get closer? As you get closer, you feel that they have stopped like in the town square.

Well, the unseen servant has been dispelled because they are far from me. Where's book forms? Should we go to him? Yes, I'm sorry, I know it's not important to you, but for me right now, I just, I am very confused. There are many things that are throwing themselves at me, and right now I choose to focus on the simple task of separating a bad man from a good blade. Okay, don't run, don't run yet. It's important to you, it's important to us, we're friends for life. And if you need somebody to sneak up this shadow we do behind me,

you might finally make himself useful, and do something. You see shadow Henry forms, goes from being a shadow into being looking more like Henry, but with shadowy eyes, it goes, eh, what the fuck am I going to do? I got a bad back. All right, you're not the only one. You want me to crouch and stuff?

We're going to need you to crouch. Yeah, we're going need you to crouch. We're gonna need you to have bones. Yeah, it feels like I do. I've Mr. Shadow Henry. If you could help us, well, me, it is for me, it is a stupid task that only matters to a foolish girl child but if you could help me I would pay you in shadow food Yeah, what are you what are you eat shank? I I love Shadow potato skins If I hold up a potato skin in the fire light and it gets a shadow, can you eat that shadow?

Yeah, it's how I eat, yeah. I eat the shadows of food. This actually makes perfect sense because I love potato skins the regular. And I love the shadow type of potatoes. So you let, yeah, fully loaded. All of those days that you went and got an appetizer platter by yourself. I too was eating an appetizer platter Wow, this is a great order. Oh my god. The sour cream the scallions So Mr. Henry, how are you thinking you can use your how are you thinking you can use shank to

procure this blade as As long as we can get ourselves within a couple of yards of this sword, I can command them and he can sneak up and make a move. Should we maybe try and fashion a replica sword to try and do a swap? A sword swap? Sword swap, if you will. I could take a blade and do the sword value on it and we could try to swap them. Yeah, I'll say that you guys have in your pack, probably like an extra long sword or something that came with your starting equipment that you can use to distort value on to make it like kind of way a certain amount to make it feel kind of similar to what you think a

great sword of that Patilda would carry, I would feel like. Okay, I do this. I use a spell slot. I turn this sword into a more convincing great sword. Operation Blade 3. I give this, I give this new sword to the to Shank. To Shank, great. So you all head into the town square and you see that as your approach, kind of keeping a low profile, bookfarr does sense you flaps over and drops the little like wax sigil, the little stamp into your hands, Fia. I give to Henry and Sarak. I have many,

much ringing of my hands to do for the next couple minutes so I should not have anything in them. Okay and you book far goes miss he has betil disorder. I know he has stolen it she is alive and she did not turn these are all facts. You see that not seriously a book for she needs this book far is flapping you can't tell if he's shaking his head or what he's doing. A little tear comes out of bookfarrer, you don't know if it's from him or from you. Wow, you see that this dude who, Madame Whitlock had called Jack, is like laughing it up and drinking with a bunch of these hedge knight- looking dudes. Mr. Sir, are you able to change, I know you make liquids all the time, can you change

this liquid to be poisoned? I can maybe try and whip something up that would make him need to go to the bathroom. That would get him away from the other folks. Oh, but you can't do it in someone else's cup. I mean, I would have to get close enough to his cup. I could maybe buy him a drink. Okay. Yeah, can I try and use my alkeny tools to create,

I guess, X-Lax? Su-Kai. Yeah. Okay, so you're going to essentially like spike a drink with something that would, with like a poison that would give him diarrhea. Yeah. I would.

I mean, acid just would give him so much stomach acid, he might need to get a tom. I would say it would be for somebody who can make like magical potions, I'll say you can make like off-friend X-lax certainly. Cezir, Cezir takes a little bit of time and I'll say even like goes into the copper dagger, grabs a mug of ale puts a

little bit of this potion into his ale and what would you like to do now? Okay so what I think I want to do is I'm gonna get another drink untainted. I'm gonna have two in my hands and I want to go up to him and kind of pretend that I'm drunk and say something along the lines of boy am I so glad that you boys have come to town I was getting real sick of the way the Baron was running things hey you look like you know what's going on around here a drink for you a drink for these fine gentlemen who have cleaned up Thorn Kirk. And I hand him the beverage. Go ahead and give me a deception check.

Oh no. That's 20. Woo! Oh my gosh. Yes. Maloney on a diarrhea drink. Thank you, Daddy. You see this dude grabs the mug from you instantly

and goes, looks like it's a whole Pettijax lucky day. Just Pettijax. Pettijax. Everyone starts chanting Superbomb. OK, sir. No need to go so far. I think this guy rules, maybe. Just throws back the ale in like

One quick swallow puts his arm around you and goes always nice to meet a night fan No, it's nice to be a nice fan of nights. I just love it the way that you swing your swords and to press people I'm a real big fan of the oppression. Did you say impress people? Yeah, I've impressed people He knows he goes like that's one they kind of Keep drinking and send you on your way I get outside and instantly bend over and have a panic attack So did you mean what you said that you really like him because you kept talking about how much you like him? Yeah, it was the truth serum still working or something? Still working.

Did I say something stupid while I was under the truth serum? You tell me if I said something stupid, right? Okay, so now we just watch and wait for this dude to go to the bathroom and... And then we send the shadow after him. Sorry about that, Shank, you're gonna have to go in and... Yes, maybe we send Shank to wait in the bathroom right now. Yeah, there's no like bathroom. He's gonna just go shit in the woods like.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. OK, the woods is via a territory. You see after a little bit, Petty Jack kind of straightens up. And you hear him loudly goes like, uh, that to take a little visit to brown town. Everyone looks like that's kind of fun. Talk to these guys. It's got everyone looks uncomfortable. Seems like a good hang.

I hate to say it for you. I know. I'm really it's it. He had me on brown town. He goes, he goes over to this like little area, like a small stretch of woods in the middle of this town. Okay, Shank. Shank your up. Huh, all right.

Go for it. Go for it, bud. Do I have to do it while he's squatting? Yeah, now he's especially vulnerable. The sword is basically on the floor. Not to mention there's going to be motion happening around his hips that will distract him from the motion of you switching.

Yeah, it's a golden brown opportunity. Shank, you're also going to a brown town. Oh, no. Henry, you send, you send Shank into the woods and I go ahead and give me a slight of hand check. And I will tell you, I'll say you get advantage because of the distort value. So you essentially have like a,

you could do like an Indiana Jones and like switch the two things and have like the same weight on his side. But I will say that he has a plus two to perception. So this is a flat DC 12 check. Come on, Shank. Yes, baby. That's a natural 19.

That's a 21. Woo! Yes! You see after a few moments, you see coming out of the stretch of woods, holding a sword like really daintyly like between two fingers going like, ew, ew, ew, ew. Mr. Zerk, do you have sort of hand sanitizer? Can you make a jug of hand sanitizer to drop the blade in?

So much, yeah, let me get some rubbing alcohol, some aloe. Yeah, I'll put some rubbing alcohol some aloe. Yeah, we're fed together real quick. Um, so I get chunk comes out and chunk gives you Uh, the sword and you guys know with this distort value I said I let it like affect the weight You know that as soon as this dude is like around his friends again Somebody might see that he's got this like not not the same sword Okay, it's time to beat feet Mm-hmm sweet. Oh You guys rush off where you

headed to. We should probably, I know we were saying we were gonna do a sleep over at the morgue, but might want to get a little further out of town than that. Yes, the train, no one comes to the train except for like people trying to ask for magic so they don't want people in town to know about. Fear would it be okay if I established like a little pietta tear? Train? Maybe just a caboose because I've got the apartment in the city of it like a little caboose for me could be nice. I you can absolutely have a caboose or the other word you said I don't speak French so I don't know what it means. I

think it means foot on the ground or like one foot. Yes you can put a you can put one foot on the ground. Okay take the caboose because there was a werewolf who was leaving there and they recently moved out. Oh, it's not the family, so it was a good thing. Oh, okay, great, great. It's a starter caboose. That's great. It's good for like a couple,

but once you start to have children, it's not big enough. Rodgers doing, Rodgers doing really well. Yeah, Rodgers do a beautiful puppy was born to Roger. That's so good to hear. I am seeing that you left a lot of male As you guys walk out of town Crossing the bridge you see the moonlight hits the sword and Fiya when you were looking at it at like Petijak's side it looked like kind of old and like uncared for but you see as it's in your hands you see some sprites begin floating

around it and begin floating around you and you see like scrubbing bubbles yeah it looks like bright and shiny new. I um I give it an Exploratory Shing. You give it an Exploratory Shing? Just go after a branch with like a squirrel on it, not the squirrel, just to kind of scare the branch. You cut a branch perfectly, the squirrel that was on it, hovers in the air, because the cut was so quick and clean. I have put my hand under to catch the squirrel.

You catch the squirrel, Sprite will immediately begin chasing it and they begin chasing each other around the woods. Oh, I've set that one up for a long, painful death. So, Fiya, you know that these like magic blades that the blades had kind of bond with their owner. And you see this one already looks better now that it's with you. Looks like it like accepts you, which it did not look like it was accepting Petty Jack. And this does not have any special stats yet.

Except that it is magical. It is magical. I don't need it to have special stats but can I hold it in the moonlight and try to look at the shadows that are cast by it to see if I can divine if my betilda is still alive. Go ahead and give me an insight, John. Okay, that's going to be a 10. A 10? You don't know if she's still alive or not, but there is one comforting thing about this, which is that if she had turned, she would still have use for her blade. You know what I mean? Hmm. Ah, Trickster gives me about a tiny gift and I accept. Fee, I don't know where Patilda is, but I think that regardless, she'd be glad that the blade is with you again. Yeah, that thing, it's already looking like it wasn't a stupid errand.

Thank you, thank you to both of you. I don't know what I do to deserve such help, but I will try to repay you in any way I can. We can start with some potato skins. Oh, right. I did sort of walk into that promise and I'm not a cook. Sprite, what do you say? Sprite, you want to confirm that?

I know. We're eating the woods, looking for a potato. So you all go back to Fia's Train and begin eating potato skins together. You see Shank, it's just furiously eating the shadows. That's where we'll end our campaign, right? Yeah. But you got all we can. As you guys are back in Fias Train car, you hear a book of our pipes up and he goes, Miss,

as I was following that man, I didn't get everything that he was saying because I couldn't get too close. But I did hear him saying something about having been in the dungeon for a long time, but that they let him out so they could have access to his contacts. He was a prisoner and they let him out so they could have access to his contacts. He was a prisoner and I let him out.

Is this guy like an assassin or something? Oh dear. So this man that we steal from, it seems as though he plays a pretty big part and was some sort of messed up fuck. Okay, indeed. Oh, and he was in the dungeon here book far book Farcos. I believe he was in the the petty King's dungeon miss mr Henry, do you know this petty King since you know many nobles? Yeah, are you a noble? Are you a noble man? I am the furthest thing. I am the bane of the nobles

Universally just like me Henry nobles, Ben That's a pretty cool name. It's universally disliked me. Henry Noblesbane. That's a pretty cool name. It's really cool. Henry, actually, go ahead and give me a history check. Not bad, 16. OK, so Henry is a little bit older and a little bit more well-traveled. You know that the petty king is getting older, and it strikes you that, based on what you overheard it sounds

like there might be you know people manipulating him. Oh yes the sorcerer they spoke of. Oh yeah. That you told me about I didn't hear but you told it to me. Oh yeah. I was telling everybody a lot of stuff. Yeah you've been babbling I'm starting to think the potion wore off, but you are enjoying the freedom of truth. Yeah, it's kind of nice. Okay, so what is important to both of you? Because I have made my needs plain, but I'm wondering what you need. Neble was very concerned about something going on, about machinations that were underway, and I think there could maybe be the root of everything

that's going on around here, all the shifts and changes. But before we do that, I think we've really got to take out Fergus, because otherwise, Spritell's big brother is just going to beat the shit out of our shins with a hammer. And I guess I can at least pen that letter as my third cousin in law and send it off See if I can shake things up around here a little bit at least get him out of the dungeon Do you think you'll be able to capture his voice in your writing? I listened to him talk a non-stop for a couple months. I think I got it

Henry, what do you say in this letter that you write? I take up some beautiful parchment for you. Dear cousin, I need your help. They've locked me in the dungeon. I am no longer allowed to entertain myself with swordplay, horse dancing. I look over and shoulder and I point out entertain myself with swordplay sounds

perhaps a little bit kinda sending and noddy's voice. I disagree. I think that's pretty on brand for him. As you know, I am the best swordsman in the county. Now that's good. There we go. OK. I am an unparalleled chess player.

And the town is being robbed of my wisdom and my gifts, et cetera, et cetera. I go on like this for several pages. Great. Might I suggest save me from this this scampulous hell. Mm. Yes. Oh, I, you know what? Let's get a bookmark.

Can you whip up a bit of scampie sauce so we can stain the pages? We need to pour some authentic things. Of course, yes. They make me eat the shrimp meat down here. I don't get any tails sealed with a shrimp So Henry you write this letter in the Baron's voice to your ex who you know has connections to the capital and stuff and can hopefully get this cleared up because It seems pretty clear this case would normally be thrown out by any kind of respectable justice system,

and it seems like something has been compromised. So you're right this letter, go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage. Jesus Christ, thank God I had advantage. I rolled a net one and a 15. 15 is pretty good though. I don't think I groan all shifts. Yeah, so you have a note now, and you seal it with the barren seal. And what would you guys like to do now? Probably we should take a little rest. I will put it out there that my instinct is,

I do not wish to exact some sort of revenge on this petty jack for something I don't know what he did. My goal is to get to the same place that you want to go, Dr. Zerks. So my feeling is we kill this Fergus because we all, we all his death to one who has passed and then we get out of town. And then we, I guess, I don't know, we get a fucking boat or something to go down the river to go to this spot. Could we get a bigger bone boat? I don't know. I mean, if I were to try to use tensors floating this to get us,

first off, I would have to run along the side of the river, don't I? Okay. Which way will you try? The heat might not be as fast. All right, this is one option. Also, every hour it would unsommonmon and I would have to take another 10 minutes to create it. Also the bone boat was really good on land but it might be a little porous to float. So I can... Great points. I might be able to help us out with the boat. I worked at the dock. Maybe I could make one disappear. So you know how to drive a boat? I know my way around the boat.

It's been a while, but yeah, I think I could figure it out. I was like riding a bike, which I don't know how to do, but I do know how to do the boat. I know how to ride a bike, but I don't know how to ride a boat. I have a bike right now. I can give you a lesson. Really? I take out a really rusty unicycle.

Yeah, you see, yeah, fear has like a penny far thing. Just giant wheel. Just absolutely the wheel is so broken from trying to drive around in the woods. Oh, this is going to be great for your back. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's a very high fall. Yeah, you just instantly fall 10 feet. Um, just just riding over roots. It's just the worst place for any part of the year. I've been looking for a mountain, a mountain penny farthing.

But I only have this street one. You get the sense that Fia and Bookfarer essentially just like go out in the backyard and just fall off this penny farthing for farthing. Off-roading a penny far thing. This is what we do on the weekends here out at the abandoned train graveyard. I think I'm gonna like living out here. So you all go to sleep for the night and the sun rises the next morning.

Can we say that I stayed up late working on some bone claw potions for Henry? Yes, certainly. That is, if you use a spell slot, you can choose what kind of potions you want to make. Yeah, great. I burn the slot. Great.

So you make a potion for the bone claws, you stay up late. I look at Patilda's blade. I look at my reflection and Patilda's blade in the sun. You look at your reflection for a split second. You see the silver hair of your mentor, Batilda, and then it flashes back to the reflection of you. Whoa. Okay.

Shake it real quick to make sure Batilda is not trapped in this sword. Oh, help! I see book, book, book fart comes out. You just got, you got booked. You got booked this. Book fart. Oh, he told us he was going to do it.

We didn't believe it, but he did it. I make some coffee for everyone so that we can sip it while we plan. Great. I make a mountain of eggs and I eat them in front of the sunlight. So it's like I'm fading my shadow as well. I politely drink some of the coffee, but I also make a path of strong black tea. Ooh, I combine the coffee and the tea. I steal my rage. If you check it out, coffee.

I get it. Yeah, bookfars hovering over, zerk with a knife. Just tell me this, just say the word. No, no, no, stand down. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Say you're the next to stir it. You're a good star for us. Right, yes. What butter you bread, sir.

Hahaha. Gladly. So you all enjoy breakfast as the light shines into this train car. Breeze outside is the tree's sway. So it would seem to me that we have a chance to get to sneak up on this furthest, right? Yeah, if we can get him alone in his office,

we might be able to take him out real quick without anyone seeing. And we know how to get in. It might be helpful to have a person on the inside for a job like this. Yes, I was wondering if you would go and contact with your person who leave the note on your chest.

Should we get Coach Sibin on this? That's not a bad idea. Yeah. We know that. They could probably help us arrange a situation where Fergus is alone in the office and maybe they could watch out to see if anyone else is nearby. I know they hate Fergus as much as we do,

but they are loyal to the rook, so we have to be careful about this. Yeah, but you know, they they showed remorse too when they brought when they brought Sadie's necklace back. So maybe we could tell them it's it's time to make it right. Yeah. Sweet. You guys know the most likely place for Sib to be would be the Black Thorn Hall. So you head there during the day and see that it's still bustling several people out on the stairs smoking. When you get inside, you see there's no boxing matches going on, but on the second floor, it's still pretty packed with

rooks and other unsavory folks, and you see through a cloud of smoke, Sibb is talking to a table of older-looking rooks. They are the seasoned outlaws with menacing looking hooked weapons at their sides. Do we... they look like they're maybe busy? Should we interrupt? Let's wait until there's a nice lol in the conversation. Oh, great idea. And then we'll sort of just wave from a distance. Try to... Truthfully, I don't really understand how to gauge a conversation when there's a low

and not so. I tend to just interrupt or not say enough. Oh, Henry, maybe we should pretend like we're having a business meeting and then we see Sib at the other table and it's kind of like a casual, oh, oh, you're here too. Hey, why don't you come join us sort of thing. That's, yeah, that's not bad. We could do, we could do the play, the play casual, the play cash. Yeah. We're gonna play cash. Okay. So I'll say you guys grab some drinks and get a seat at a table like within

Sib's view. So you see, they're having this like kind of hushed talk with a bunch. Yeah, does not understand the situation. So she just turns her unblinking eyes on Sid. You see, Sid goes from looking at these people to like looking up, catching your eyes, like giving like a quick nod, looks back down, keeps talking to them, looks back up, sees Fiya still looking at them, looks confused, looks back down, keeps talking, looks back up

and Fiya confused, shakes their head, looks back down at back down, keeps talking, looks back other fear, confused, shakes their head, looks back down at the people, keeps talking, looks like I get off the table, why are you standing on the table? You see, um, Sib, Saunters over to you three grabs a chair, AC Slater style sits down on it backwards and goes, well, well, well, you got a lot of nerve coming in here I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I may have let you down. Wow, you took the tiniest bit of ownership, and that was, I can tell that was really huge. You, as kind of this guy who doesn't have a lot going on for him, probably could use a stronger hand from a coach. I could have been harder on you. Your compliment of, yeah, you're sort of saying, you didn't do enough, but in a way that's implying that I don't have anything to offer. Look, so it's hurtful in its own,

you're even your apologies. All right. All right. Let's, let's cut to the chase here. All right. Why are you all back here after you're, you almost got torn apart the other night? Well, we couldn't let you, we couldn't give you a chance to win any money, but we can give you a chance to earn something else.

Forgiveness. Sean, that, Sean, that, Shom, that. If you are, Shom. What are you talking about? You're talking about, you're talking about, I'm just gonna say what? I take out the Ruby necklace. I peek it through like a buttonhole.

I don't take it out, I peek it through a buttonhole. Look familiar. Sibs eyes widen, and they lose like their cool demeanor for a second and look alarmed and they go Where did you find that? I did not find it. I was given to it. It was given to us from right where you left it You did a very kind thing, Sib, in giving this necklace back to the woman. It was stolen from and We met this ghost and she appreciated it. Yeah, but that's only half the battle.

She wants us to avenge her death. Yeah, contractually. She's not bringing up the contract. We're doing this for honor, not fear, not fear a fairy contract. You see, she's really worried about that hammer. Siv nods and goes, Fergus,

Fergus killed that girl and Madame Whitlock covered it up. And that's been the story of her reign as leader of the rooks. But it wasn't always like this. We used to stand for something. Angus Blackthorn, the founder of the rooks, built this hall. We stole coin before the crown could steal it from us. We weren't out there killing innocents and we sure as hell weren't playing at being noble. You see, as they say this part, they get a little louder and you see the rook vets behind them, given nod. You see Sib, leans and clothes. So, if you've got a problem with furgus,

it might just so happen that our interests align. What do you say we get this fucker? And that's where we'll end our session. Let's get this fucker. Sweet, everybody. Yeah, head on over to our Patreon Patreon.com slash NAD pod. Let's know our short rest, our after show. Don't say that's patreon.com slash nad pod. Let's know our short rest our after show. Don't say that's patreon.com slash nad.dp.od.

Don't sing. Yeah. Oh dear. Does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Ooh, I'd love to plug our PO box if that's okay. Plug away. We've got more stuff coming in. Thank you all so much.

Again, if you would like to send us something, you can do it at 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Feliz California at 90027. I would like to give a very special thanks to Amanda, who sent us a super cute miniature fuck you. I love you eat a rat across it. So cute. As well as a very touching note.

It's very cute. It's a nice little like petite one. It would be perfect for a tiny bathroom. Ooh, it's a cap. Gabby G sent us some homemade face masks, covered in possums and roses. They could not be perfect. Thank you so much and congrats on getting into the graphic design program. Gabby, you way to go.

Congrats. That's so cool, congrats. Ooh, Musk Stick Addict sent us a nice note asking us to come to Australia, which we definitely want to do at some point. So that's the... Also, as a side note, I had to look up what a Musk Stick is and it looks super gross.

And also, I want to try one. It's like a weird Australian candy. Ooh, yeah. We also received a letter from the Reverend Sam A, who was recently ordained by the Church of Wales. Whoa. Wow. Congrats.

Yeah, congrats. That's awesome. That's so cool, congratulations. Yep. Sam is now a real life cleric, and if we ever come to Wales, we'll be counting on Sam to give us a lesser restoration for our handovers.

Right on the head, it is true. And then, of course. I like some divine favor casts on my done. Oh yeah. And then of course, I would be remiss not to shout out Molly and Hannah are who smuggled a copy of Dungeons and Dragons 3, the book of Vile Darkness out of the UK and into our hand area. Absolutely, dare you. Yes. Absolutely dare you. Yes.

Thank you so much for your noble sacrifice. You shall not be in vain. I can't wait to watch it and give it five snails out of hand. Mm. So wait, I think thank you everybody for listening. You can follow us on Twitter at CHMURFUSME. At Caldys Caldol, at AX for Emily and Adjik, or Mrs. Jake, and you can tweet about the show

using hashtag, nad pod, that's n- about the show using hashtag NADPod that's NADDPOD. Hello friends, called well here, it is the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Let's get right to it. Rad D, Jeffrey S, Haldoor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M, other boxers coached by Sib. The lower their self-esteem goes, the more matches they win. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Zolo Dillow, and Dylan B. The Alchemist to engineered Madam Witlock's Truth Serum.

The rats they tested it on also started to oversharing personal details, but since no one had speak with animals stocked, they just ignored it. Jupiter the Mushroom, Danielle the Dasterly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scott D. A group of thorn-curk entrepreneurs who created a rival bone barred service called Tinser's Terrific Taxis. Sprydl and Fia are currently preparing litigation. Go get him gang. Danny P, Alain A C, Mixologist Michael McD, and Balnor's boy. A crew of grave diggers who were inspired by Fias' impressive burrowing skills and decided to start a pool installation company instead. Andrew B. Justin I.

TJ M. The Noam Barbarian. Alaina M. Traleigh The Crepe Fae and Jared E. A small splinter faction of rooks who think the organization should give up crime altogether and instead by a few cold stone creamery franchises. If Henry's Erick and Fier are smart, they'll stop plotting Ferguson's murder and get in on the ground floor. It's too good to pass up! Christopher B. Austin Bonesaw MR.

Damial R. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobold and Octo Lich. Thorntcirk Brewers who make fiest favorite stout. To get that nice rich flavor, they magically awaken the barley plants, and then force them to smoke 10 cigars a day. Yummy. Gage M. Scokilla, Destin Sea, Richard X Machina, Michael L. and Kelvin Noodles. The team of chefs helping bookvark to launch his new line of portable pizzas. They keep trying to tell him that it's not actually cheese, isn't a good tagline, but he's sticking to his guns.

Zerigio Salazar Salaman Sakharaya Sdececmani. Tras the Traveler, Dori S,, Dina-G, Calum-L, and Ryan. Zibs buds at Black Thorn Hall, who hold court while they talk, but also totally talk shit about them while they go talk to Fiasurken Henry. Ooh, that's low. Jack-L, Wallace-Will, Temporal, Sam L, Nicholas C, and Reese in S. Five unseen servants who have been dying for a cool espionage assignment, but mostly

get stuck folding Fias laundry. Samuel B, Mike H, Matthew E, Colton B, and Adam G, a group of river nymphs who are just waiting to eat the new crew's hearts the second they set sail for scale tip valley. Mateo C. Eric B. Panama James. Adrian the Halfling Bard and John H. In. Henry's third cousins who are actually of similar social standing to him and just wish he would reach out. Dan, Nikki W. Grace G. Drew Nasty, and C.C. Lulu. Zerks Potion buddies who made him homeopathic red bulls and held his hair back as he studied. Oh, thanks, Gang couldn't do it without you.

Jay, Barnes & Aitor, Douglas A, Michelle O, and Luke H. Henry's sailing buddies who actually dubbed him Hank and have been sending cease-and-assist letters ever since he adopted it during the fighting pit. Ritterin, Timmy R, Lucas B, Aaron S, and Kevin M. The Thorntcork Prison Kitchen that is working overtime, bartering to get the shrimp required to make scampi for three meals a day. Austin C, hogfishes above average hog, New York. Steven C. and KJ. A rag-tag crew of misfits who plan on busting the Baron out of jail. They're not heroes, they're just shrimp, scampy suppliers who are gonna go out of business without their best customer. Michael M. Rahul Inn. Mike K. Maxwell C. and Nick L. Skeletal monks who were completely unaffected

by the crew stealing all of the skeleton weapons. You can loot a bow, but you can't loot a sick high kick. Karranty, Ekathor, 666, Justin Raccoon, and Nick W. The barrens extended family who went along with the ploy to unseat him. All it took to bribe them was a week supply of bookvars Lunchable Book Pizza. Honestly I do it for half a week of pizza, they're that good. Robert F. Esmi M. Spartagnus, Nathan, and Kazimir, they all knowin' A bunch of Thorn Kirk medical workers who have held a fun-filled sleepover at the morgue

every night this week. Honkbong and Zonk have no idea what they're missing. Ugh. Big bad beard of the mad. Eric McD, Burley T, Axel A, and Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Rook Goons are all looking extremely stylish in Henry's old clothes. They looked like shit on Hank, but those burly bandits fill them out just right. Woo!

Christian A. J. Dragonborn. Cody B. Jonathan O. The Sandrayan. And bin A. The guards who committed the greatest betrayal of all when Madame Whitlock stole Forncork. They broke Henry's hot plates.

Unforgivable. Feldatus, Dave H, Catherine S, David K, and Christian S, Petty Jack's squad of knights, each as a depth at swordfighting, jousting, and of course, shitting in the woods. Keith K, Brittany B, Kyle H, Emilio D. Frankie Koala and Big Bad John. The previous holders of the World's Biggest Grave record. They can try to dig a bigger one, but feel will always hold the world's biggest grave dug by a single person in one day record.

Aston S. Blair the Bug Blair Blair Blairian. Pork Chop. Chanel M.. Argent 31 and Christian P. Patrons who tried to keep up with Marcy when she got blitzed the day she got fired. It's been a week and Argent 31 is still hung over. Alice. Minette F. Pat L. Lauren H.

Matthew J.L. Ginina E. The barren's personal sword trainers whose constant babying of the man filled him with the false confidence that he used to challenge Lady Witlock and almost get himself killed. Maddie Y. The eldest Barry, Ryan S. The Bone Duster, Joshua H. And Robert Crisps. The goon to ruin five of Henry's six hotplates. Hank may have some debts to settle with Fergus, but when he's done, he'll be coming for you. Mark my words.

Yidra Sil, Big Bad Mac, Brent Lacey, Demar B, Micah B, and Carly Ann. Parallegals who work for Sprytle and who are spread incredibly thin looking over all the contracts that Sprytle seems to be constantly drafting. It's really overwhelming. Clarke, I've got the Thunderfuck's. Or Hasee, Connor Savage, B-Chef, and Russell H. Some folks who hosted a BBQ last week with a big ol' hunk of meat from Apple the Butcher's Butcherie, and who are now very concerned that they absolutely did grill people. Christopher J.O. Cole, the Goldfish Grimlin, Logan S. Leviathan, Dimae, Bioquart 7, and Remington

CD. Prisoners locked up with the Baron who truly cannot listen to him tell the story about the time he taught a horse the Makarana and a Dressage competition even one more time. They would rather get the guillotine a please. And that is all of our elders. Thank you all so so much for listening and supporting us. We love you all and may the sprites a light on your shoulders. Good night.

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