Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 7: Trial by Scale

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

The Choo Choo Crew looks to rescue Syb from certain death... if they can even rescue themselves! Fia gets deja vu when she sees the executioner's scale, Zirk attempts to woo a crowd, and Henry gets into it with his shadow. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"A Memory" by Emily Axford. "The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford. "Escape From Smuggler's Bounty" by Emily Axford. "The Pact" by Emily Axford. "The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."The Scale" by Emily Axford."Little Fang" by Emily Axford."Toadlimax" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody. Elder Morn!

Elder Morn! Woo! So many good witches. I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz and Rehogfish. All I've got is a plate that's hot. Whoa! What? We're back.

You've completely taken this to a different place. I ran out of honks. He promised he was coming back and he's back, baby. Then of course you've got Emily Axford. Okay. I was gonna do a really stupid fear-bongindia, but now we will just do fear-bongindia. All I have is a mages blade. Okay.

Pretty good. You sold it. You waved your hands around and you looked nervous. I'm so sad to miss the bonk. I'm so sorry. I thought we were really leaning into this. I was just gonna do a really loud honking, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. Merge's been texting me on the side as can they stop.

He's applying pressure. He says you set the precedent. Yeah. You're a leader here, Jake. You need to understand that. And you have to do a rhyme. And then of course, we've got called Old Tanner. Oh, Zirk for Vayne.

Given Henry Schatz and mixing thing in pots, I was also going to do a honk one. I ruined this episode. You've really fucked us. I'm on your side not most. I love it. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon.

You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon.

You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my goon. You guys are my go student. The dog is my favorite, good boy, Jake. Oh, sitting in the front of class. You're already my favorite, you good little boy. OK. Let's go smokes and big cigars.

That sucks. OK, sucks. Now, I know Jake, as the teacher's pet, is begging for a little recap because he knows it's a structured part of the episode. And he loves structure, and he loves being a good boy. So let's get into it. So last time you spoke to Sib at the Black Thorn Hall learning more about Madame Whitlock's

involvement in Dr. Neville's death. You agreed to work with Sib and a contingent of rook veterans in a tandem effort to defeat the Whitlock siblings, Madame Whitlock and her brother Fergis. While Sib was planning to attack the Baroness at her new keep, you made plans to break out Sebastian and confront Fergus at the Jail House. When you got there though, you did not find Fergus, but rather Petty Jack and several Knights of the Petty King, you made a brutal work of them. Then, sorry about that. Yeah, I think the first people you killed maybe, and it was so brutal, natural roasting,

it will haunt my nightmares. So that's what the roasting is. No, no. No. No. You're satisfying. You then saved, so askin' and questioned Petty Jack. So after talking to him, here is what you know

about the mysterious happenings in Thorn Kirk so far. This is sort of all of the information you've gotten from Petty Jack, from Madame Whitlock, from Sibb. So you know that the Petty King of Adaburo, Thirsten Brightleap is getting religious in his old age and surrounding himself with worshipers of the Reaper, who are called scale-tippers colloquially. It's essentially saying that somebody's like a Bible thumper. It's like a zealots of the Reaper. So amongst these scale-tippers is a contingent of ex-blades called the prophets who are hunting down the blades who stayed true to their commitment to the trickster.

They proved hard to find, however, so an old gang leader named Petty Jack was released from the Petty King's dungeons to use his criminal contacts to find them and hiding. One of these contacts was apparently Madame Whitlock, who recognized Nebel from the bounty and alerted the crown. When Nebel went to leave town on the river, on your first night together in Thorncork, one of the prophets was waiting for him and ex-played called the Prophet Cain. After Nebel was killed, Madame Whitlock was rewarded by the crown and given the title of Baroness of Thorn Kirk, she now plans to execute Sib in a display of strength to the

townspeople, using an old Reaper ritual where a victim is placed on a set of scales, then dropped into a pit with a horror. You have just heard the bell toll, signaling the start of the ceremony, and that's where we are now. All right. So you all are in the dungeons with Petty Jack and So Ashton. Torches light the dark halls. The smoldering embers of the grease fire are going out and you feel the ground reverberate as you hear this bell ringing through the town outside. So are we getting the impression that this ringing bell is calling the town to go witness this ceremony at the church?

You would assume that for you. You see Petty Jack looks around and just goes, all right, will, am I cool to go? I suppose. Mr. Jack, just remember that we let you go. You seem as though someone to give favor or fickle in a fickle way. So just to remember, we were good to you. Yeah, and also, you know what? Maybe give up this life of crime and become like a shock-jock or radio personality.

I feel like you've really got the chops for it. I don't know what that is, so I'll probably just stick to crime But uh, yeah, I'm gonna head out. Thank you. I'm so much really. I mean what what a nice, you know day to meet some new friends and everything And have some of my other friends get blown up. Yeah, what's up? I hold my hand out for a kiss See he looks at your hand super super confused and then does a graceful bow and a kiss. And then it goes, oh, it's been a long time since I've done that. Well, oh, Betty Jack's going to be in the old dusty trail. All right, Betty Jack, remember this encounter I feel as well.

Yeah, Betty Jack goes and leaves up the stairs and S action goes uh... finally i can go home well don't go there specifically uh... let's do you have like a a summer house or maybe like i don't know uh... a hotel that you have a good rapport with that you could stay at the end yes i mean uh... of course i have summer homes but i prefer my one my one regular keep i'd love to get back to have so many horses who know how to dance oh they're just preparing a shrent feast for you there and i don't think you should go just yet

do we remember what they were doing with the horses then we went to his house uh yeah you did you did see um them trying to stop the horses from dancing and to run regular in humane it's been this in the pool, I understand who the villains are. They were teaching the horses to do taxes. Yeah. If a horse wants to dance, you cannot keep that horse from dancing. Your keep belongs to someone else right now. At least temporarily.

Right. OK, well, we need to get out there. We need to challenge her to a duel. Last time was unfair. Why? Because I swung at her, but she moved. That's not allowed. They don't usually do that when you're practicing. No, usually they just stand there and I hit them And I say point, so action, match, and then they bring in someone else. It usually like a 12 year old or something and he sometimes will try his best if it's like an unathletic 12 year old but the athletic 12 year old

you know they can give you a real go and sometimes they have to throw the fight yes then you are holding a sword to a twine right there's nothing moment where you question your life That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life.

That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life.

That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. That's where you question your life. I am Rachel. Okay. We need to get to the church, but we also want to make sure you are safe

Sebastian because you have a very lively spirit and everyone can learn something from this Yeah, why don't you know so I should why don't you tag along but just keep a distance once we get to the church There's gonna be a bunch of people there You might get to watch an execution or you might get to watch us save somebody from getting executed So either way it should be pretty how good good are you at performative hiding? The best, I'm the best at. Well, I'm very good. I'm in the top 10th percentile in performative hiding, but also, I'm the greatest fencer in Thorncork. So just point me at whoever you want defeated. And I will poke them and prod them with any number of pointy weapons.

How many people that you defeated in your training were over the age of 14? Over the fort, like a full teenager? A full-on teenager. Okay, let me get it. Let me get it. Let me get it. You're throwing me off right now. Because usually, if you have to think about it, then I don't like the answer. It's not. It's not just going to okay. The thing is I don't want to lie to you, right?

Yes, what is that power? Be careful when you lie you got the power of your words so I've beaten Upwards of 10 12 year olds. That's 120 Okay I called my hand out for a kiss I called my hand out for a kiss. Without question, just like instinctively noble just gives you a kiss, okay? As he kisses my hand, I would like to cast guidance on him. Oh, okay.

You give him guidance, he feels even more misplaced confidence than he had before. Alright, comments. Yeah, we should add to the church. I'm worried, I'm wondering if Fergus is there or if he's still hunting the horse. We should go check. Yes, I think we should. And Mr. Henry, I would like to say that I think

that perhaps bringing so-ashton could get so-ashton hurt. Okay, I think you there would be a crowd so he could kind of just blend in. I could wear a costume. I'm very good at costumes. Okay, I have said my piece, I will now accept whatever outcome happened. I just fear that if he does not stick with us,

he's going to wander back to the keep and get himself in trouble. He sees so as soon as just nodding next to you, hand on Shin and goes, that is likely. Okay, then. He should not be left alone. Okay. I will just keep secretly casting guidance

on him via hand cases. That's good. I'll say, yeah, he responds to that. He goes and he picks up like a severely burnt breast plate from one of the guards here and just like puts on their clothes. It looks really strange, but he doesn't look like the bear and he's got like a little hood on now.

All right, let's, let's hide the illit. So you guys go back up the way that you came in. You go back to the cell that was locked in the corner, open up that door, remove the false tile from the ceiling and are able to climb back up. You get back up onto the first floor of the jailhouse and you hear that it is like a ghost town in here that like most of the guards would probably be at this execution.

So with your guards regalia on and everything, you guys are able to quickly sneak out without any kind of a problem. Do I still have a bone clause or do those go away after that? They last for an hour, so you do still have it. And everyone still has their gift of alacrity because that lasts for eight hours.

Nice. Oh wait, does anybody were able to keep up with the fear when she sprints? Yes, this is incredible. She's like a goddamn gazelle. As you all sprint out of the barracks, not suspicious at all, you feel the cool autumn air hit you, and it begins to rain. You hear the bell tolls as townsfolk gather beneath the gray sky. You see

people heading towards the chapel on the edge of town across the bridge, across the river. You see in the town, there are a few towns guards riding around on horses gathering people up and shouting for them to convene at the chapel. I hate this. This is such a hard-handed display of religious power. So you all get to the cemetery and see that just outside of the small chapel that you enter to get into the catacombs, a crowd has gathered around Madame Whitlock, clad in all black, she usually wears white. You guys are able to kind of blend in amongst the crowd. You see Madame Whitlock is flanked by members of the

town guard, some of the petty knights and some rook goons. They are standing around a deep pit next to a giant set of scales. One of the plates is offset with weights and sits safely in the dirt while the other is high and hangs precariously over the pit. And from deep within the pit, you hear the horrifying croak of some kind of horror. May I consult Valk to see if this is a horror? Or my guardians of the Grove Book? Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead and give me a Valk would probably have it. You wrestle with Valk as you hear the strange croak coming from the hole.

Oh, go identify the croak. Go ahead and give me a history check. 18 plus 6, 24. 24? Fia, you are aware of this because you've seen Batilda fight one before. This is a pretty common creature, but very dangerous. This is called a Todlemax. I whisper to Mr. Henry and Mr. Zerg, this is a Todlemax. A Todlemax is basically a giant Tod slug. What's that? A giant Tod slug? All right, that's what I

thought. Bring out your salt, Mr. So, bring it out. So, it is newsroom saving some. It is very dangerous because it has like a long tongue and it can swallow you, but it is pretty slow. So, it's kind of the perfect monster to have in this pit to eat a defenseless person. So, you see after a moment, as most of the town seems to have already gathered here and the rain pours down does the town look like they are

curious about this I want to know if there are like complicity in this or if there is a sense that this is wrong it looks like a mixture it looks like people are mostly scared. Um, here's not of those who are enjoying this. So she will remember that she does not like this. Yeah, you remember Petty Jack saying in the dungeons that, um, Madam Whitlock had somebody on the inside amongst Sib's allies. And um, you notice standing amongst like the rook goons and stuff is the dude who gave you shit for reading books at the bar Looks like was in fact not actually on Sib's side. So you see he's smiling I knew I felt a sense of insincere to even the character say that they were sorry

So after a moment You see Madame Whitlock steps out and addresses the crowd. People of Thorncirk, I am your new Baroness, but I would like to return Thorncirk to the old ways. A safe place where injustice is not tolerated. And you hear some like murmurs amongst the crowd, people looking a little confused. She has ringing her hands, this is really sick stuff. And you see her go, you know me as the leader of an organization called the Rooks. We've employed dozens, maybe hundreds of you, dockworkers, bartenders, bodyguards, cooks, cleaners, blacksmiths, cobblers all have

the rooks to thank for the coin in their pockets. I will admit there was an unsavory element of the business that may have dominated our reputation, but that was perpetrated by a few lone actors, some of whom I will present to you today as a show of faith. You see, exiting the chapel, his furgus wetlock, holding Sib, all tied up and beat up. You see, they've got a busted lip, huge black eye, behind them is a priest of the Reaper. Clad in all black with silver chains hanging down from his shoulders. You see they approach the scale and spin it to play Sib on one plate.

On the other, they remove the weights and the priest steps on it to offset the weight. They then pivot it again and send Sib hovering precariously over the edge. You see the priest addresses the crowd from the scale. Sibbankinja, you have been accused of conspiracy against the Baroness, and therefore treason against the good King Brightly himself. We will leave it to the hand of God to judge. If you are worthy of life, the fair reaper will pull back his horror. If not, it will rip your sinful flesh from your bones and send your soul to Exodus, clean, and anew. May he judge you fairly, Fiya. As you hear him say, judge you fairly,

you are transported back to a time when you were in Sib's position. You are in a small village in Inner Burrow, surrounded by angry townsfolk. They're dressed in incredibly plain clothing. Many of them look malnourished and skinny. There's a chill bite in the air as the wind whips through dead trees

and pebbles bounce along the bleak landscape. Fia, you are maybe 12 years old, a young girl hovering over the edge of a pit tied to the high plate on a set of scales. On the other side of the scale, your father offsets your weight, chain of silver scales around his neck, he's clad in all black. Below you, you hear the hungry moans of a zombie at the bottom of a pit bearing its teeth at you Trying to climb up to grab you, but failing keeps like clawing up

You see like blood coming off of its fingernails as it tries to like reach at the dirt But keeps losing its grip and you see your father the preacher Begins the ceremony and goes, Fia Buginia, you have been accused of babbling with the tricksters magic and aiding the fugitive in escaping the Fair Reapers' judgment. We will leave it to the hand of God to judge your fate. Father, Father, please, I didn't think you would actually do this. I am very scared now, please. If this was meant to teach me a lesson, I have learned it, please.

You see, he looks away from you and without looking you in the eye goes, I didn't think you would come to this fear. I didn't think I would have to do this, but you forced my hand. I don't understand. I thought that this was all for my salvation. But when you do this, how does this help me? Is this really just for your salvation? You see, he looks down, doesn't respond,

and just pulls out a book and begins a prayer. This is what he would do to the rest of your family. And when I am gone, who will you have left? You see, he's trembling and he just holds his scales and he keeps yanking them down to the right side, and he's like whispering something to himself. And after a moment, Fiya, you suddenly feel a calm hand. It's so gentle that it doesn't even startle you.

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Relax, girl. I met your friend, Arena, out on the road. She said it might be good if I came and caused a little trouble here. Do I see a hand on my shoulder? Um, you turn and look, you are tied up. You do not feel any weight on the scales, and this appears to be somebody who is invisible and flying. This appears to be somebody who is invisible and flying.

I think that I don't want to alert my father, so I think I just continue to look at him and I say, perhaps father, the trickster will see to that which the Reaper has neglected. You hear a gasp amongst the crowd your father goes quiet Settle down everyone the Reaper will judge you girl Or the tricks that will save me you see He just sighs and shakes his head and he goes may he judge you fairly fear You see he steps off,

the scale tips, and you brace yourself to drop, but you don't. You hear a gasp amongst the crowd, as you are scooped by a woman with silver hair on a flying broom. She looks like a mix between a witch and a hunter, flop hat and long purple cloak, various jewels and amulets adorn her tattooed runes

all along her neck and any exposed flesh and a crescent blade at her side. And you hear her yelling for everyone to hear. That wasn't very fair sending her in there all tied up. What do you say girl? How about we even the odds? And she just carelessly throws the blade back to you. Mzia, go ahead and give me an athletics check

to try to catch it. 14 plus five and 19. 19, Fia, you catch the blade and it feels right in your hands and you feel strong. You see, she on this flying broom, her on the front, you behind her, everyone screaming and freaking the fuck out, she knows dives down into the pit towards the zombie and she goes,

go on, give it hell girl. Go ahead and make an attack, Rolfia, with advantage. Yes, to the expert, whatever you say. That is a four for Yeah, you have go to I just thought it was enough that I caught the blaze That's a great catch girl that was a great catch you swing Um, I'm just with on this zombie big time. She goes like, all right, second pass, second pass, one more pass.

Ah! Good teacher. Make another attack, or all. Learn from your mistakes. Uh, 16? 16 hits. Fiya, you come back, you cut through it in one cleave, you both fly back up, hover over the ground, you hear

the horrified yells of the crowd have turned to stun to silence as you float back to the surface. I hope that your faith is strengthened on this day and I flip everyone off. You see Patilda? She goes like, my name is Patilda,ilda by the way girl. What's your name? You're an a petrister? The trickster? No, just one of her followers But you do things that only a trickster could do. Oh, that's right girl. That's right. Will you teach me this? Oh, I can teach you a lot of things and you see

People are starting to get kind of riled up again. Your father looks up at you in Batilda and goes, Take her and go. You chose this father, not me. You chose this. A Convent, Marriage, or the fucking Pits. This is the options you give me. Go ahead and give me a persuasion, Czech Fia. Shout out to the two crew. This is the options you give me. Uh, go ahead and give me a persuasion, Czech fia. Mm-hmm. Shout out to the two crew. Oh! You see, uh, your father just looks up at you and goes, consider the mercy that we don't shoot you out of the air right now.

Consider it a mercy that I don't hate you. And if you wanted to stay that way, do not try to find me or arena. You see Batilda, Leeds in and goes, what do you think little fangs should we get out of here? I think that a moment of excitement is now being a bit blistered by reality and so I look just with tears in my eyes and I nod solemnly. You nod solemnly? Wait! There is someone I need to get.

A little book. A little book! A little book my friend, Irina, made him dance. As she goes, alright, well let's go get your little book and we'll be on our way. Ah! Suck all of you! Suck all of you! I start giving the middle finger to everybody and flies off.

Okay, now I'm having fun again. I give the middle fingers. Do little broomsticks. You guys give the middle fingers and you fly off. And Fiya, whew,ew your back in the real world Fia, did you worgon to book far what's going on? I'm sorry. I just have been in Ceebs position and this is finally my chance to pay the world back We have to get Ceebs out of this unsavory position and can I use

of these unsavory position. And can I use my final spell to cast, not ritual cast, just cast tensors floating disc and run so that it goes under the scale? Essentially, I wanna run over there and just cast it right underneath so that it's a platform in between a Sib scale and the total max. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, you guys see kind of everything's playing out in slow motion here. You see the priest is finishing his ritual. Looks like he's about to step off. You see Fia, cast Tentor's floating disc, and Zirk. As you look on and see Fia running towards the pits, you look out in the crowd, and you have a memory that triggers from this.

You look around at all these nervous onlookers, and you remember back when you were a young boy with your mother, you are hiding amongst a crowd, standing in front of a stage, and there's a sign on the stage that reads, for Vane heals the pain, all cure a lexer. There's a display up there with a bunch of bobbles and jars filled with a red liquid. Your mother, who usually wears a multicolored cloak

and a top hat does not have her top hat on, and has her cloak on inside out so that it looks boring and gray. And as the people murmur and excitement around you, you hear her whisper to you. See, Zerkey, you can't get on stage until you know your audience. They act like themselves when they don't know you're watching. And you hear nearby, you hear a man and his wife argue about whether or not an elixir could possibly cure all. The woman is insisting that it's foolish, but the guy thinks that it could possibly work,

that it could be magic. And you hear your mother go, see, that's our volunteer. He's this desperate to prove the elixir works as we are. Oh, mama, you found your mark. You see she keeps scanning the crowd with you, puts her arm around you, and goes, now look at that. There's a couple of scale tippers back there. We'll wave the sprites away with some iron to start, so the think we're one of them. And you see the vials on that man's belt? That means he's a rival alchemist most likely. We'll throw him a compliment up top, maybe get him on our side, and then it's all easy street from there.

She smiles, she gets down on one knee, puts her hands on both your shoulders. What can I do? I want to help this time. Oh, Zerke, I just need you to watch and learn, because someday I'm not going to have enough pep in my step to be able to go up there, and you might need to inspire a crowd. That day will never come. Well, with all your elixirs and whatnot, you'll be able to live forever. That's likely, very likely, Zerke. Yes, they do work. They do absolutely 100% work.

And they work, and they work. Is all good. I'm gonna be right. It's right on the sign. It says they really work. It, they, it, verveined, heals the pain. But he, that's right. Now, look, just trust Zerke. They really work. That's, I thought maybe we could add that to the sign. I love that, Zerke, a kid lying to people like that. They believe in hook, line, and sinker.

I mean, not lying, telling the truth. That's what we do. We tell the truth to the best of our ability and sometimes in order to work to the best of our ability, we need money to purchase food to keep ourselves operating at the highest cognitive level. And that means we might have to lie. Does that make sense? So when away we're telling the truth, Zerke. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Right, okay. Now look out here, Zerke. Remember, there are no individuals in a crowd like this. Just one big scared animal. It's up to you to decide. Are you its mama or its lunch? You see she suddenly flips her cloak back to the multicolor and hops definitely on to the stage gentle town folk gather round gather round ah you sir You see she points to the dude who was just like arguing that the potion could work me and she Brings him on stage. She begins going through her whole thing. Got him. And Zirk, you are brought back to reality. As you look around the crowd,

your mother taught you to read crowds like this. You see that most of the people are just scared, but there are a lot of people that look like they just need a little push to jump and stop this. It's like who's gonna fire the first shot? Go ahead and give me a perception check with advantage. 22, holy shit. Okay.

Zirk, you're gonna get everything. Give it to me. Zirk, you look around, some of the guards have their hands on their hilt. Like look like they're ready to jump in and try to stop this. You see Willie is here, you see Marcy is here, you see Willie is like dangerously close to being the first one to go. Like has his hand on his sword and is shaking. You also see behind Fergus in the chapel, several of the rook veterans are tied up. It does not look like Sib was betrayed by everybody. It looks like it was just the one dude

It looks like there are more rooks on Sib's side that are going to be executed today. They are here. You see Spritell Flies off and gives you a little assist. You see they Whip around a small group of people, a couple and a baby. And you see as Spritell whips around them, you kind of wonder like, what is special about these people? You look, who brings a baby to an execution? It's hard to get a see there. It's hard to get a see there for an execution. You see they have their teeth bared and they kind of have fangs and you see they have long sideburns like they're a little harrier than your average human and you know right away

that this is the little werewolf family that be a help. All right here's what I want to do. I get three rocks or just small objects off the ground. I want to use three charges of magical tinkering to infuse each of them with a small message. Whoa. And I think the message I say, I basically just like make it sound. I'll try to throw my voice even a little bit. Just to make it sound like I'm a disc rental person person in the crowd saying like, this won't stand. Like, we can't let these damn scale tippers come in here

and just tell us how to run our town. This is Thornpur. We gotta show our thorns. And what I do is I get sprydled to basically drop those stones in people's pockets in the crowd. Basically try and like disperse this message amongst the crowd. V of these magic stones. You see, Fia, charging towards the pit.

You see you, scope out the crowd. You see that there's hope here. Spritell grabs these magically infused rocks, begins floating in, dropping pebbles and people's pockets. You see people kind of look around and start to get inspired. You see Willie, Ful, draws his fucking sword. Yes, Willie.

Henry, you look out and you see as Willie pulls out his sword, like shaking, but looks like he's gonna try to stop this. As you watch this like teenager thinking about intervening, you notice in this moment that he's right about the same age That your son would be right now, so you haven't seen him in years and you hear a voice behind you go Yeah, he's a pretty bad now. It's about the time we usually skip town Yeah, you're right about that shank, but let's see what happens if we stick around for a little bit You're right about that, Shank, but let's see what happens if we stick around for a little bit.

All right, well, I can't do much, but, but, but suddenly you see he begins rapidly aging, almost like phasing out, like going in and out of being a shadow, out of being Shank, and then out of being this older man. You see, whoa, white hair, bags under his eyes. He looks like a very old version of you. And you realize this is the man that you've been seeing in the mirror. Ah, shit. And you see, in this moment, he goes to grab you, his hands go through you, and he goes, I'll do what I can to help you, to help us.

Jesus, you have anything to get me to not look like you, fuck. You see, as he begins to dissipate and turn back into a shadow, he goes, whatever fuck you, buddy. Fuck you, buddy. Fuck you, buddy. Negative literal self-talk. You see, he dissipates and turns back into a shadow,

but dark energy flows from his position and begins to circle around your hands and you feel your bone clause strengthened and they begin to feel more natural. And you get the sense that maybe you could start summoning them on your own now. Whoa. Well damn, actually, thank you. Thank you buddy, wherever you are.

Fuck you buddy! I'm sorry about that. Ha ha ha ha ha. Henry, you've just seen Zirk getting the crowd on your side. You've seen Fia running towards this pit. What would you like to do? Oh man. I guess I turned to shank and I say, you know, we've been trying to do everything all by ourselves for so

long. Let's let's see what happens. If we work together, you're good for nothing. Log. After this, you better get some shadow potato skins. You know it, buddy. And I'm going to take off in a sprint after Fia. You guys see, as the priest finishes his prayer, steps off the scale, you see Sib, this is somebody whose friends are all, you know, crooks and bandits and shit, and they don't think anybody is coming for them. Just head down, not even looking. friends are all, you know, crooks and bandits and shit. They don't think anybody's coming for them. Just head down, not even looking. You hear this monster croaking in the pit.

You see as the priest steps off, the scale tips, and you see, whew, tensors floating disc comes on down. You see the scale stops. You see instant uproar. You see a bunch of guards go up to grab their swords and start going towards Fiya. You see people in the crowd, some of them grab clubs and pull out like improvised weapons.

Fiya has like a crossbow bolt flies at you. You see you are tackled by a werewolf. What? I am your friends. I know I'm trying to save you, Aaphia. You delivered my baby. You had both bars. Yes, yes. How is the young pup? Yes, be Randall. It's good to see you. How is the young pup? What did you name them?

Oh, I named them. You had that suggestion little thing. Oh, well. Zirk, you have successfully gotten a bunch of people on your side. The crowd is pretty much split half and half. Madam Whitlock is just screaming, stop this! I command you to stop this! You see Fergus Whitlock whips out his hammer. They kind of lock their eyes on you guys

as public enemy number one. You see your friends. You see Marcy. You see Sib is struggling to kind of try to get out, everybody go ahead and roll initiative. 12 for Fia. 11 for Zerg. 18 for Henry.

So I'm gonna tell you all how this fight is gonna work. You guys have a few people that are going to act on their own initiatives and try to help you. Sib is gonna act on an initiative and Sous. Sib is gonna act on an initiative, and Sous-Action is gonna act on an initiative because Sous-Action is there with you. Initiative 20, I imagine. I am very, very worried. I am saving a coronal shift to try to save Sous-Action.

Sous-Action amounts to Dancing Pony. Yeah. If Sous-Action was a mounted combi- I mean, he was a cavalier, but with a dancing pony. So ashen whips out a way to big pike that he stole from one of the knights. Oh, a theft from a rich person. Uncomfortable.

The most common kind. Not unexpected. And then on initiative one, you guys are gonna get an ally action. You're gonna roll a D4. The higher you get, the better ally you get temporarily. The idea basically being is that they get knocked into Fergus, and they attack Fergus for around, like that type of deal.

But other than that, they're like tearing through nights and shit like that. Sweet. So on initiative 19, that is Sib. Sib is bound. This is the worst thing that could happen to them for their initiative to be so high So they are actually you know what they will just hold their turn But you see they look up and look super hopeful Henry that's your turn. All right, how close am I to Sib? I'll say you guys all got within like 20 feet is when like shit went down

So you see the people that you guys are gonna kind of have to deal with are the people near the pit. So you've got Madam Whitlock here, Fergus, you've got this croaking monster that is trapped under the tensors floating disc is not doing anything yet, but is like screeching and croaking. There's the priest who looks like he's getting ready to cast some spells.

You see there's also two goons and two guards got it and save his tight up Henry if you can get people to come to the edge of the pit also You know just encourage people to fight us here so I can hit them with my school Yeah, let's table top them into the pit. I was going down over here All the cool folks are battling right near the lip of the kid. Yeah, you see Madam Wintlock goes like, you fools as if we'd ever agree, and you see Fergus goes out of the way.

It starts running towards you. I thought we'd be able to get him. Then I'm going to look at my cool new bone claws underneath my cloak and kind of like shed it over my shoulders and be like, these could be useful. And I'll try to cut through Sib's binding. Sweet, go ahead and I'll say make an athletics check. If you do 15 or higher,

I'll still let you make an attack on the strings. No, not 20. Whoa! Woo! Oh yeah, good lord. Without breaking stride, you run across the tensors floating disc. Shadowy bone claws out, slash through the ropes that are binding Sib.

You see Sib goes, wow, my fighter, my champion. That was good. That was just good. Hahaha. Fuck, I wish your praise didn't feel so good to me, but it does. You see, they were probably stripped of their weapons, but they've got so many daggers on them and stuff. You see, they reach behind their knees and pull out two daggers and just whew, disappear behind you, a shadow behind shank joining you and whoever you're gonna attack

Cool, all right, so I guess I'll I'm gonna attack I'm gonna attack Fergus sweet It's the rematch that I wanted you see Fergus is about 10 feet from the pit You still have more movement you go another 10 feet you shadowy bone claws out you shadowy bone claws out, Sibb running next to you, Fergus in the rain with his hammer, getting prepared to swing, his sister screaming at him to stop running towards the pit. Go ahead and make your attack, Henry.

Awesome. As a bonus action right before my attack, I'm gonna summon Shank, so I'm flanked by Sibb and Shank on my left. You see, Shank is running behind you a little bit slower than Sib on my right, Shank on my left. You see, Shank is running behind you a little bit slower than Sib running at like a brisk jog. Come on, you fucks. I'm trying, I just got summoned. Give me a break, let me have some fuck.

That is a 26 to hit for you. Yeah, that hits eight damage. You slash across Fergus's chest. You see, um, immediately, like, huge rush of blood would definitely have hurt a normal person. Um, but he just, he does, he is swinging down on you with his hammer and does not stop his strike as you, like, stab into him.

Ooh! But, uh, as his defenses are down, Sibb is going to sneak in and attempt to stab him under his ribs. There you go. Ooh, shout out to the two crew, that's gonna miss. Does it make, oh, makes two short sword attacks. Takes a second attack. Let's see, 14 to hit.

Misses. Fergus is able to use the back of the hammer to kind of nudge them out of the way. That is the guards turn to town guards who are hitching their wagons to the Baroness, draw swords and run towards you for the new Baroness. What are you thinking? We are really talking to your brothers. Loyal for the day.

First one swings up Mississippi time. We should save them. We we're really talk to your brothers. Loyal for the day First one swings up missus time we should save them almost falls into the pit Next one takes a swing get a full that one is definitely gonna hit that's a 19 to hit you That does hit that guard hits you for four damage Henry, okay on Initiative 17 you see Madam Whitlock begins walking towards you Henry. You see she whips out her parasol You see a knife extends from the end of it and she she lunges forward with it like a piercing weapon She's that that does more than block out a sun and rain That's right. I got it at fashion bug Misses on the first attack. Geez. I can't roll for shit. Thorne Cook economy is thriving ever since you took over 12 to hit

Misses second one 21 to hit is definitely gonna hit you see she Whips the parasol around to like the side with like the hook grabs your heel and attempts to trip you go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw up heal and attempts to trip you. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Up. Oh, that's definitely gonna trip me up. That's a natural three. She's able to pull your heal up, you flop down on your back. You take five damage. She makes her last attack with advantage. Not my back, you fuck. That one is a 24 to hit. She stabs into you for five damage.

Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Shout out to the two crew. Yikes. Henry, you are dazed. This is a new stun mechanic that I'm doing because on short rest, I was talking about how I think stun makes people not have fun in this game because they just sit there and do nothing.

I hate to not have fun this episode. Yeah, so you are you are stabbed. You see like the blade at the end of her parasol seems to have some kind of like poison on it and you begin to get woozy for the next round until her next turn. You're gonna have disadvantage on all checks and attacks. Great. That is, Soastion's turn. Good mechanic. Soastion rushes forward and goes, take your umbrella away from my cousin. Soastion, please.

Surprise. Please. It's loyal. Play with the crowd. Remember, Soastion has guidance. The guidance takes us. It also privilege. Takes a swing at Madame Whitlock,

shout out to the two crew, um, on the rips and falls pro next to Henry. Cousin save me. Thought you were saving me. Are you cousin? You can't yield. We're fighting to the death now. Ah, Fia, that's your turn. Uh, okay, so what is the diameter of this pit? Because I need to understand if I can get to where they are without fucking with my disc or moving it. The disc does not need to be there anymore because Sib's not there anymore. Okay, so I will just in that case I will run to Madame Whitlock and Fergus. Sweet's, who are you gonna attack? I'm going to green flame blade to attack furgus. Great.

Okay, I got a 18 to hit furgus. That hits. 13 damage to furgus with my attack. It's like a bunch of rodents trying to take down a big animal, just like scraping at them. The two, you guys and Sib and Shank are up there. And I did green flame blade. So that, so six fire damage to Madame Whitlock,

if she's within five feet. You see, green flame jumps from your blade as you swing onto Fergus. You see it jumps onto her immaculate hoop dress. She quickly is able to put it out and she's like, you're lucky I'm not wearing white today. Yeah, if I aren't you, huh? You're trying to represent something that maybe you don't believe in or do you believe in it now? I believe in justice.

Oh, do you now? Injustice, not in injustice. I want to say what I'm saying. Well, you know, and this way I'm trying to bring justice to your brother. So perhaps you'll help me with this and I swing at Fergus again. Sweet. That is a dirty 20. Oh, dirty 20 hits.

World poorly, but that is still eight damage. Sweet. Two goons are going to rush up to help Madame Whitlock. They are going to take cracks at Fia. Okay. Where will protect me? I have no spells left to shield myself or to heal. But one of the where wolves is just like fully eating a knight.

Hang on, I'll be there in a second if I can. He tabs, tabs up everyone. So cool, you know that guy. Goon misses on the first attack, Fia. Second attack is a 15 to hit misses. Other goon gets two attacks. Shout out to the two crew misses. Chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka.

Nice. Nice game does it. 19 does it. Okay, yes, he does. That is actually only three damage though. 20 for three damage. Okay, I'm going to tell this goon just so you know, when we are friends at the end, this will be a fun story

We tell you took away my last temporary hip-point Looks very nervous. It's the dude who hates books Really? Yeah, that's what I'm gonna club those books off your damn off your damn bill never mind I changed my mind for you. We will not be friends afterwards. Save yourself the time and just jump in the pit I'm going to assault you with the slug Sirk that is your turn. I want to sprint over to the scale okay And I want to hold my action until a point where a lot of people that aren't my allies are

Positioned next to the pit and at that moment I want to swing the scale around and try and knock them all in. Oh, interesting. Okay, yeah, yeah, you can do that. Okay, cool. So you, yeah, we said it has kind of like a spinning mechanism so that they can like load people up on the side and then spin it over the edge of the pit. You rush over to the side of the scale, you grab the mechanism and start kind of sliding it, getting it into position to kind of scoop people with the one scale. Scoop of justice.

A scoop of justice. So, Fergus, Madame Whitlock, Fia, Sib, and Henry are all together, along with the guards that are attacking them and the goons that are attacking them. Fia, Sib, and Henry are all together along with the guards that are attacking them and the goons that are attacking them. So they're all in a cluster. You see this priest though, this priest was getting, is getting ready to cast a spell.

You can make an attack on the priest if you would like or you can wait. Mr. Reserve, the priests are bad of the Reaper, okay? It's not like a good priest. I know a lot of good priests. Yes, forget them right now, because you are not dealing with one. Okay, I'm gonna swing this scale around and get this priest. Sweet, I will say, let's say it's pretty slow moving.

I will give it a use tinkering to grease it. Okay, I'll allow you to grease it. We'll give it a plus five to hit, but if you hit the priest, he's pretty much fucked. Get tipped. Come on. Come on. Yes!

That's an 18 plus five, that's a 23. Holy shit, no joke, this priest was on initiative nine, so like two down from you was about to heal Fergus. You see how holding his scale Reaper chains is mouthing some kind of prayer. You see like blue energy glowing around him and suddenly he is walloped with the one side of the scale, Zirk, as you spin it around. This dude, ah, no! Reeper save me! Save me! Judge me fairly!

Trickster for life! You will see how fair this scale is. You see this dude falls 15 feet, instantly takes four damage, lands in the pits, and you hear the toad Lamax going and this dude screaming the mass. It acts on initiative five so it doesn't act yet but it is definitely gonna attack him. So this dude is in a bad way screaming, a yield, a yield. So many gourd, we fight.

So action also yelling, a yield back, let's find things. So everyone yields, got it. Richard, if you're yielding, Let's find things. Wait, so everyone yields. Got it. Raise your hand if you're yielding. That is for yield. No, it's for yielding. How about I raise my hammer if I'm not yielding? An attempt to crush.

We're no petty jack. Attempts to crush our friend Henry, who is prone right now. Oh, him and his sister are a powerful team. Ooh, that's a, that's a, not seven and a not six. That's only a 13 to hit. That does not hit. Okay, Mrs. On Attack One. Oh my lord. Two slight, 15 to hit.

That Mrs. Baby. Mrs. On Attack Two. How did you miss? I'm lying here. What? Oh really mad. That one's definitely gonna hit. That's a, that's a 25.

Chrono shift, okay. Roll again. That's still gonna hit. That's a 24 to head. Oh, thank you, Fiya. Ooh, baby, God. Thirteen damage. Smashes into your chest, Henry.

Blood begins coming out of your mouth, as you cough up some blood. He's going to use a bonus action to take a second wind. Henry, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Wisdom, horse. I can't pass a goddamn saving throw to save my life. That's another shout out to the two group You you Henry in this moment begin to kind of fall back on the old Henry

You're like what am I doing here? This is crazy. I got to get out of here. You are frightened of Fergus You are right shank you were fucking right We're right, Shank. You were fucking right. We can get out of here, man. We can get some wings somewhere, all right? Still happy hour. No, it's the Henry, where would you go? Why would you leave?

We are friends for a life, and it is really hard to be friends for a life and also be long distance. Yeah, fair. I just really can't be around this guy. That is the total max's turn. The total max is going to attack the priest Reaper just be fairly touch me fairly please You got a judge me fairly I'm a priest. Oh, you know that priest has no salt hits with the 25 to hits

This took jerk you're still like offering above it. You're kind of laughing like haha. I have won the day You see this thing wraps its tongue around the priest leg, just like dragging his hands across the dirt. No, no, save me, save me! And the toad brutally slowly eats him and he is gone, priestes off the bed. That's what you get for messing with our friend. As he's getting eaten, I would like to say say is this the fair scale that you dream of? No, it's not fair! It's not fair at all! So maybe this is a rigged demonstration of religious power? Maybe!

He's gone. The end of the round, that's going to be an ally action. I'll say this time, Zirk, go ahead and roll me a D4. Is it two? A two. You see, some ahead and roll me a D4. As a two, a two. You see some of the rook vets come out. You see they are able to in the chaos. Kind of free themselves from their bindings. You see a couple of guards have like,

who are on their side now, I've cut them loose. You see a couple of rook goons jump out. One of the goons goes up. Who do you guys want them to attack? Forgot this. Forgot this. Okay, this dude will take the rook vets like the Rockettes Why are they dancing? Explain this to more of a jig than a canned can not your luscious legs

Explain the kick line. It's so high hits on one attack the kick Not with a kick with a club. It does a big four damage. Wow, so you fight with your fists and the rooks fight with their long legs. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you five bird dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's

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That is back up to Sim's turn. Sim is going to take another crack at Fergus. Come on, you need coach in or what? I'm trying my best. It's been a bad day for me believe it or not. I showed up at the castle and I was like great. There's nobody out here We're totally gonna storm it and then all of a sudden we were surrounded by like a million dudes and they kicked the shit out of us It was bad And this guy who really fucking hates books was talking so much shit. Yes. I'm going to take care of him I'm going to feed him to the slug. That's a 15 to hit missus. Take him to a library Maybe I don't know. Yeah, it's actually that's kind of a nice idea

Sib takes a second attack damn Sib can't hit for shit today Mrs. Twice Henry, that's your turn. Okay, so I'm going to sort of struggle up to my feet and swipe it for a guess with with my claws great 16 to hit. That does hit. Whoa, holy shit. Whoa, okay. That just hit.

So Henry, you are feared. You almost just kind of like get up. You're feeling dazed from this weird poison that Madam Whitlock stabbed you with. And you just kind of close your eyes and swing forward with your claws. Whoa, whoa, get away from me. I need space to run away from you.

Cousin, wait a way, way to white flag wait wait the flag cousin Yes, we should both run that is ten damage. I'm going to unleash my final incarnation and have Shank attack okay. I'll say shank does not have disadvantage Great that's a 23 yeah super hits Shank, you're not afraid of this guy. I mean, I'm just a shadow. I already died today, so it gives a shit. Damn, I want that kind of outlook. That's 10 damage. 10 damage.

Fergus is looking a little beat up, but just kind of roaring and continuing to fight through the pain. Okay, then I'm going to go back to back with Shank and action surge. Whoa. Yeah. Let's give him the one-two claw. and action surge. Whoa. Yeah. Hell, let's give him the one two claw. And another 16. Wow.

You hit. That is 11 damage. Starting to look a little messed up. OK, cool. And then I'm going to second win. You kind of gather yourself. You breathe deep. You try to get over this intense fear.

It's like you're getting fight or flight,, you try to get over this intense fear, it's like you're getting fight or flight and you want to fly. This is your first time ever in your life staying and fighting. Is Shane giving me like a tiny little shoulder rub? Yeah, we're gonna be all right. It's still gonna be happy hour when we're done. Like you careful with the claws. I need to get a shadow. It seems so supportive, such positive self-talk. Yeah, you got to feed it all the time. Okay, yeah, books don't really need to eat. They just do it for fun.

Yeah, they just make the food. That is the town guards turns. They were swinging on Henry. They're going to keep doing that. For the Baroness. I might go down. Okay. First one hits with a 20 to hit. Second one misses. Big. Three damage to your Henry.

Okay. Just jump in the pit, guys. That is, Madame Whitlock's turn begins whipping her parasol around. That's right, it's a parasol, not an umbrella. What's the difference? I'd love to learn. Parasol is fancy. What? Does he keep out the rain?

Swingseth. No, Paracel is for the day. It's for Latin, paracel. It's for the sun. It's for the sun. It's for the sun. I mean, like an umbrella could also be for the sun. It's a duel for you.

It's for your face. Swingseth. One, two, three. Ooh, baby. That is a 22 to hit. Oh god. Parahindry. Ooh, that's only four damage.

That's nice. But go ahead and give me another deck saving throw. Yes, baby. Oh, thank God, I'm so good to see you. That's my final. Oh, it's a 30-20. 30-20 passes, attempts to do the same thing, hooks your heel, but you're able to get up over it.

You don't fall for the same trick twice. Next one is a 16 to hit, is gonna hit six damage, and then makes one last attack, swing the parasol around. That is a 15 to hit misses. Yes. That is so fucked. That is Sowashjens turned. Sowashjens. you remember he has a guidance

So ask you is going to stand up and go okay I'm not gonna yields because it looks like the other side might kill me if I yield please do very well I'm going to attack the least experienced person here I got my guys to pike and no Willie to swing in one of the guards. Evil Willie. Yes, that seems like your aim to range. Wow, Willie. So Ashton hits, wow, Willie.

You see Soashton? So a pike is a D10. Soashton barely adds anything. He adds one, but he rolled a 10. And these dudes have 11 hit points. So you see Soasht Ash takes like a cheesy stance and then lunch is forward and then just randomly sticks the pike in, goes right through this guard's helmet and his head explodes.

Wow, that guard was at least 18. That's the oldest person you've hit. I've done it. What for you, so Ash Jim? I've killed someone in the early 20s cousin. No, no, no, oh, wait, you killed them. I thought that maybe you just knocked them out No, was I supposed to was that was that what we're doing? No, it's not yet. No, it's everything's out the door

Yeah, you see you see a wearable full on eating someone. Oh, I'm so sorry. Are we not killing people use discretion? Yeah, use discretion. Fia, that's your turn. You've got one guard up here in the mix, two goons, Madame Whitlock and Fergus. I want to push Madame Whitlock in. She has 10 feet away from the pit. So I'm going to tackle.

If you want to shove Madame Whitlock, using the attack action, you can make a special melee attack to shove a creature, either to knock it prone or push it away from you. Instead of making that attack roll, you make an athletics check contested by the target's strength, athletics or dexterity. If you win the contest, you can knock it prone or push it 5 feet away. I'm going to say she is 10 feet away from the pit.

You would need to shove her once, win, shove her again with one of your bonus action war cleric things and win again. If you beat her on two shove attacks, I will let you shove her again with one of your bonus action war cleric things and win again. If you beat her on two shove attacks, I will let you shove her in. All right then, let's try to go for it. It's great. Yes. I would like to shove her in a way that I can... I'd like to try to shove her in a way that I can steal her pedestal. Just for the sum.

Okay. Um, she goes, uh, she has just, uh, struck Henry. No, who's the petty game? Okay, she goes, she has just struck Henry. Who's the petty game? Fia, Fia, you full on girl child rage. Just one forward and attempt to shovel into this pitch. Just a pallid scarecrow. Go ahead and make a contested athletics check.

She is going to use acrobatics. Oh, that's how I didn't even use book first, I hope you had. That's gonna be a 24 baby. Wow, she got a 21. Roll a 19 on fucking die. Oh, yes. You run towards her. She sidesteps you, thinking she's like super clever and athletic.

And Acrobatics, you see, she does like a cool duck, whips her parasol around, does like a cool, no hands cartwheel. You without breaking stride, full on pro wrestling clothesline her, hook her head and keep running her towards the pits. Do you wanna use a bonus action and try to throw her in? Yes, I believe in my fun. What are you doing?

You don't have to do this, you don't have to do this. I'm delivering you to the horror. Ah, go ahead, man. Consider me a horror male man. And then I will do another one You don't have to do this. I'm delivering you to the horror. Go ahead. Consider me a horror mailman, and then I will do another one, and I'm going to use the help action from BookFar for this one. BookFar jumps in. I will another fucking 19 on the dive. BIT!

BIT! I think unless she crits, she can't stop it. Do she crits? Dude. What? She got a Matt 19. What is your bonus? Oh! Plus five.

Two straight. That is her bonus. Crown-o-shift, bitch! Yes! Wow! Wow! That time, she got an 18. She fails by one.

You know, I actually prefer it this way. You almost reaching your goal and missing it and falling into a tot stinky mouth. Have fun bitch. Don't fuck with our witch, Mia. You and Madame Whitlock are wrestling back and forth. You like you've got her in this clothesline. You're dragging her clothes towards the pit. You both collapse. You guys get into this like down and dirty scuffle by the pit. You go to grab her parasol from her.

She leans forward to grab it, pulls back. You let go and kind of trip her and she goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, and falls back into the pit. You hear the croak of this horrible monster as she disappears into the pit 15 feet down. I wasn't planning on completely trying to kill her, but I'm not going to save her. And she kept fucking poisoning Henry.

That is the Goons turns. They are going to take one of them is going to take an opportunity attack from Henry. Great. That is a 17 hits. Cool. Can I say that as that guy's running away, Shank trips him and I punch him in the face with my claws?

Yeah. Oh, watch what you're going there, bud. Shake, prank. Nine damage. Nine damage. Dude looks messed up, but scrambles to his feet and these two dudes run towards fia and Attempt to shove her in the pit Putting it on oh fuck that yeah, give me the first athletics check as this dude attempts to shove you

First one is a 16 13 plus a 5 18 Takes a second shove attack Shout out to the two crew 16 via fully just out wrestles this one dude you got so it's raining out down in the mud I'm tall and gangly you think that you can topple me, but actually there's much girth Next dude is gonna take two shove attacks on you That one's an 18. That's an at one.

Henry and Zirk. You guys see this one goon? Shob's Fia into the pets. As he shoves me, I want to say, real original idea goon. Better to come up with this move, huh? Well, I certainly didn't get it reading books at the bar. Oh, that's you, did it to me?

Um, via, you take three damage. I will cut that library card in front of you. Okay. Okay, three damage, as you crash into the bottom of this pit, very much return to the Jedi style. You and Madam Whitlock, down there. What have you done? Shit.

What have I done? I delivered you to the toddler max And I'm here to see it through That is Fergus's turn Fergus looks really concerned that his sister was just thrown in a pit Actually, no, you know, he's just in a fucking blood rage and is going absolutely nuts. You ought to go down there man Go down where what happened He's gonna go ahead and take three cracks at Henry

16 to hits that does 12 damage to Henry by Cracks Henry across the head Henry drops Zirk you see so last year is just stabbed this dude. You see Fergus Swinging his hammer like getting ready to tee up goes up and it attempts to swing across Swastions back. Oh come on 14 to hit Sebastian. So, Swaystion is wearing a breastplate his Swaystion used his guidance yet Swaystion is not used to his guidance yet, but SOSHEN just passed. SOSHEN did not get hit, but Fergus does get one last attack. Rook vets, that one. High kick to his aid. That one is absolutely gonna hit SOSHEN.

You see, SOSHEN is not dead, but in one just like, he's like celebrating having killed this one guard. Fergus swings, hit SOS hits Sebastian in the back. There's a loud bang like a blacksmith hitting the anvil. And you see he flies forward. Looks like Fergus's hammer lost no momentum just going through him. And Fergus and Soestion just drops on the ground, knocked out. That is the Toad, Lumax's turn. and Fergus and so as to just drops on the ground knocked out that is

The Toad the max is turn Yeah, I point to the salt hanging around my neck So that these It's moisture if it eats me you're down here. You see this giant slug beast with the bottom half of a slug, like super slow moving, just kind of slithering towards you. But with the top half of a very dry toad, and you see, opens its mouth.

Someone took your Moisturif as well. Bleh! Shoots is tongue out. It's mouth. Someone took your moisture as well. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU That's a 12, baby! Yes! I worry for you, Madame Woodlock. You just look so tasty. You see, tongue wraps around her neck and you see a shock of necrotic energy as Madame Woodlock screams. This is just pure horror energy. 12 necrotic damage to her, and then this thing pulls her within five feet of it,

drags her and does a bite attack on her. I guess this is the fate of someone who pours salt on slugs in their life. So this thing does hit on the bites, you see wraps around Madame Whitlock, shock of horror energy into her, she yells, pulls close to her, bites down on her, does 22 damage to her. She instantly looks so hurt. Target is grappled. It cannot do

swallow yet. It is just biting her and she has her hands over the things jaws and is just trying to fight it off, trying to not get swallowed. Okay, while she is doing this, I want to say, Madame Vidlock, is this what you want to die for? You want to die for this? No, this is not- No, no, no! Wouldn't you wish that someone helped you out of this mess? Yes, of course, I'll give you whatever you want!

Whatever you want! You'll give me anything I want! Whatever you want! Say you've mad enough for your goons to hear! I'll give you whatever you want. Tell them Fiya is in charge now. Fiya is in charge! Um, Baron Bunginia.

Haha. I don't actually aspire for political gain. I just really want to hear how- Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to have her do a charisma check against Ferguson's intimidation. You hear her yell out, the fight is over! That's it! Give them what they want!

Give them what they want! And you hear Ferguson, you see like the rook goons kind of look like confused, aren't sure what to do, and Ferguson grabs one of them and goes, keep fighting! Emily, go ahead. You can make the roll for Madam Whitlock. Her charisma, her persuasion is plus three and Fergus's intimidation is plus eight. 14.

14, okay. 14 plus three. So he is a plus eight. If I roll lower than a nine, she will successfully call off her goons. Shout out to the three Cree. You see these guards and A bunch of these goons

Jump down in the pits and start trying to help Madame Whitlock with the Toadlamax But you see Fer Fergus is still fighting, and the other guards are like afraid to stop him, so Fergus is still around. So, down in the mud, all of these other guys are down here trying to get Madam Whitlock away from the Toadlamax, and Whitlock is trying not to get swallowed, and turns to you, Fien goes,

the deal is off if I'm dead! If I'm dead, kill me every last one of them! Okay, I will let you know your life I will spare. That is Sib's turn. Sib is going to run over to the pits. Stick one dagger in the side and reach their hand out towards you, Fian. And go, buddies for now? Buddies for now, but I have to see this through down here. All right, you see, thank you,

but I have to get met him with lock out of it. You see in no time, they just like, I do take their hand though and kiss it since they put their hand out. I'm assuming that's what they meant. You see they go, Malady, and then kick off and do like a vertical cartwheel back up onto the dirt, run towards Fergus.

You're like, they just did that to show off. But I'm not, right? Hits Fergus once, but that's all they need because they get sneak attack once a turn. So they're going to do 5d6 plus 3dowell. Hell yes. Hell yes. You see 16 damage.

You see Fergus has just swung through so ashton. Sib runs up behind him, stabs under his ribs. You see he goes, a bunch of blood comes out of his mouth and he goes, nah, you fucking piss me off. Sib is gonna go, I know, that's why I'm doing this. And it's going to take a bonus action hide. And fucking disappears. And then that is, I am just realizing right now that I skipped Zerk's turn.

So Zerk, we will just have you play your turn now because it's my screw up and now you will have a better sort of view of the battlefield so you won't waste your turn. Okay, yeah, I got kind of distracted by watching Fia fall in a pit. But I'm out of my stupidity. I'm not into a pit. Let's not spread the fall rumor.

So Fia gracefully dive into a pit. And I also saw Henry straight up die. So I'm gonna ask you a question. I have cure wounds, but I also have an experimental elixir. Each one of them is a spell slots. Cure wounds is 1D8 plus 3. The elixir is 2D4 plus 3, so it could potentially do like one more point of healing.

Can I use that instead? Totally, yeah. I run towards Henry with a silver cocktail shaker in my hand Just shaking it loudly and I say Henry open up And then I jam it into his ear and pour it in oh my god why the ear? It's got to be in the ear Go ahead and roll, HP. The ear canal is very susceptible to healing.

I use it a cocktail shaker. It's such a pump fake. I just... I don't know what to tell you. This is the science. Oh, that is eight points. Thank you. That is Henry's turn.

Henry, you are back up. Okay. Equilibrium. Keep your head tilted. Keep your head tilted. No, I wish I I'm swimming. I'm swimming in here I guess first of all bonus action. I'm bringing a shank back sweet fights not over yet, buddy What I thought we were dead. All right. Yeah, you just sit there. So my shadow is sitting behind Fergus I'm gonna I'm gonna swing out of more time. That is a 16. Ah hits just hits. Oh hell yes dude that's 14 damage. Still standing but looking pretty hurt. Looking very much human now. Huffing

and puffing bleeding going you still want more. Yeah, you know what, why don't you do like, everybody else did and yield. Your sisters in trouble, this can all be over. I ain't gonna fucking yield. Okay, why don't I yield? I'm kidding. Oh, I'm kidding.

Can't believe that. I can't just know. I'm just trying to, I'm thinking, you know, enough people yielded, it feels like, like feels like everyone's yielding left and right Shank what do you think you want to you? Yeah, I don't know read the room buddy Even shank won't yield come on and that is the town guards turns I'm gonna say something about the town guard I'm gonna say something about the town guard. The one who was not killed by a swastion is going to,

is down in the pits, is going to help Madam Whitlock with a straight check on her turn. So that is Madam Whitlock's turn. Madam Whitlock, if you save your turn until after me, I can cast guidance on you. You see, she goes, okay, is just like trying to force the frog's mouth open. That is Sebastian's turn.

Sebastian's gonna make a death saving throw. Oh, 18. Oh, wait, guidance though, right? He has guidance, but he got an 18, he's fine. Okay. Nice. Fiya, that is your turn. Okay, I will now no longer so

ask and will have the guidance because now I am casting it on Madame Vadelock. Wow. I am really, really, really believing in your, the possibility to change. A heavy habit of believing in people who let me down. I hope you will not join that parade. You cast guidance on Madame Vadelock. She's going to go ahead and make a strength check with advantage.

And add a d4. I will add a d4. She has a plus zero to strength, and she needs to beat a 15 to get out of this thing's grasp. She can't do it even with a d4. Roles a 1 and an 8. You see, still fully getting fucking swallowed. You see, the two goons that. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! You see, the two goons that are down here are gonna start taking cracks at the fucking

toad. That of Whitlock hang on! We need your leadership! You should yield! Try yielding! To the toad! Yeah! Toad does not have hardly with the Tode, but has pretty good HP. These goons manage to do 17 damage to the Tode. It's just like eyes roll back, still eating Madame Wittlock.

It looks fine. Blah! That was the Tode! Blah! This is very cute. We must save this animal in a stablish sanctuary. That is Xer is your turn. I will run over to Sebastian and cast spare the dying on him. Nice, okay.

Sebastian, I fish out the sole remaining shrimp tail that I had from my alchemical experiments earlier and I shove both pieces of the shrimp tail into his nose. I am starting to think circle like shrimp more than so I'm starting to think he doesn't know where a mouth is. You see you see a so ashen coughs and barely wakes up and he goes, sir thank you all I've had today is brunch. You dance to beautifully sir. Thank you, you know, REST. That's something you would have had recently. Well, normally I would have brunch and then lunch and then a midday snack and dinner.

The more you talk, the the least sorry I feel for you. But in the dungeons all they gave me was you need to rest. They cover his mouth. There is something innocent in his privilege, though, you know, like yes. he goes back down. Yeah, I should hate it more than I do That is Ferguson's turn. Ferguson is Still fucking swinging. He is going to take swings at Henry again. All right. Oh man 20 to hits That'll do it 11 damage Henry that'll also do it knocks him down

Bye rushes over to user Swinging hammer. I'm gonna take you fucking it off Zonk. I can make you booze. What you want? That is a 23 to hit. Yeah, it's good lord 12 damage sir. Okay, cracks you across the chest You roll back rain pounding Fergus continues to charge towards you Lord, 12 damage, sir. Okay, cracks you across the chest. You roll back, rain pounding, Fergus continues to charge towards you. 14 hits, sir. That misses.

Misses. Swings, you're able to hop back and get out of the way. That is the toad, Lamax's turn. The toad is going to attempt to swallow makes it work because madam with lock does have guidance he just makes a bite attack he just makes a bite attack against her if the toad swallows her does the toad become the baron unfortunately and yet I will give him my vote so So the total the total max is gonna attempt to swallow her. Plus eight to hit.

She has AC of 16. So 24 to hit. You see, Madam Whitlock is swallowed. Fiya, you would imagine she's probably not dead, but she is in deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep trouble. Oh dear. Then that is the end of the round.

That is an ally action. Called we'll go ahead and make a Rilla D4. Somebody else want to roll it this time? Yeah. M, why don't you go ahead and roll D4? Two. Two! It's the Rookuns!

Do you want them to attack the Toad or Fergus? Those are the two enemies. Fergus. I want them to attack, to attack Fergus. We've got people down here roll 2d 20s plus 4 to both 16 and an 18 oh Both hit Fergus roll 2d 6s the rook must spectacular Evon in a 6 so 11 damage geez. Yeah, Yeah, Fergus is looking fucked up. Zirk, at the top of the order on initiative 19,

you see, Fergus has just taken out Henry is bearing down on you. Has just swung hit you, swung once. You've rolled out of the way. You see Sib, suddenly appears behind him and is going to attempt to stab him in the back. Has a natural floor that is a miss on the first attack, goes and stabs. You see like fully hits, but Fergus is just too fucking meaty and Fergus just keeps running,

doesn't even affect him. See Sib looks fucking concerned and throws another dagger. Shout out to the two crew. You see Sib throws another dagger, hits Ferguson the back and he just keeps rushing at you. That is Henry's turn, Henry go ahead and give me a death saving throw. What was those daggers made of? Just regular steel. That's concerning.

That's a five. That is a fail. Fuck. Henry, as you feel yourself slipping away, you begin to see your life flash before your eyes. The good times going out on a boat for the first time, seeing the ocean, dancing on your wedding night, having your son, being with your family, but you also see the bad times. You see the moments when you ran away, quitting jobs just because of like internal

pressure, leaving town when your ex asked you to, fleeing to Thorncork, when you were being chased by this strange figure that you later learned was called the Prophet Cain. This man who tried to cut your shadow away. But you also see moments that you don't remember. And yet, as soon as you see these memories, you just inherently understand the context and what's going on, you see yourself, and this looks just like you, but like in different clothes, in like different eras almost.

You see yourself fleeing on a robot, on the morning of a battle, escaping your duty, like leaving before the sun goes up, like before you were supposed to make an attack. You see yourself in a similar position to where you were in earlier today, watching somebody that you know, in this case, somebody that you love being sent to the scales, but you are too scared to do anything. And you see after this string of memories, everything goes completely black. And you hear a voice, you hear shanks voice go, come on, come on Henry, get die now. We were doing so good this time.

He sounds far away. You open your eyes and you hear as he's talking, he's starting to get older, starting to have just like that kind of that older pitch to your voice, just a little bit more strained. And you see the old version of you standing over you trying to pull you up and you are in a black void and suddenly you see the image

of a sithe stick into the shadowy void and begin tearing him away from you. This is the same feeling you got when the Prophet Kane tried to rip your shadow away the first time. And you see as he begins to dissipate again, as he begins to like turn back into shank, you hear the old man speaking to you urgently, you can't die. This is the closest we've come Henry. closest we come to what? What are you talking about?

To break in the curse. I fucking know it. You see he is pulled away and Henry um everything goes black Right, oh fucking course and that is Madam Whitlock's turn I guess you weren't just being self-deprecating. You really are first. On Madame Whitlock's turn, you do not see anything happen. She is just inside this fucking toad on Swaystrian's turn. Swaystrian is knocked out. But oh, he stabilized. He stabilized, but he's knocked out. Fiya, that is your turn. Do I have from Volk any insight if, uh, if I damage the toe that it will cause it to, uh, expel?

Um, I will say if you want to make a strength check to try to pull her out, I'll allow that, um, or you can try to kill it. Whatever you want to do. Okay. I, I look to one of the goons and I say, well, you give me the help actions. I try to grab her hand, bring her out. You see one of the goons goes,

yeah, I'll help you. It's not the one who made fun of me about books, right? Buy God's Be Buy God's. It's fine. You know, I betrayed Sim by Thronechia. I threw a bottle at you. Buy God's Be Buy God's right. Okay, this is not a water under the bridge situation, but I will take your help. Okay. Okay.

I quit! I quit! Holy fuck. This goon goes over and just this meaty dude grabs the rim of this thing's mouth and attempts to like extend its jaw and you just fucking fearlessly reach in, feel all this fucking- Like stuffing you- No, a turkey. And gunk, and you feel a hand grasping out.

I bat the hand away and reach for the parasol. You have the parasol. You fully yank, Madame Whitlock out, covered in this necrotic goo, just doesn't it just like fully just lands on the ground and passes out. She is beyond fucked up. Okay, I have held up my side of the deal. I will deal with this creature. Maybe one of you stay down here.

One of you go after Fergus. You see the guys down here go, we think we're just gonna kill this thing. It's gonna kill us. Okay, have fun. The other gun is gonna take a swing at this thing. Oh, it fucking crits. Oh, baby. Okay. It does a good 11 damage to this toad. All right. Guard down here, misses. That is Zerk's turn. Um, Henry's down.

Yep. How hurt does Fergus look? Very hurt. Hmm. Don't worry about me. You, Shank says to Zerk, do not worry about Henry. That makes me worry way more. No offense shank

I Think Zirk as Fergus is like bearing down on him from the ground Reddies his crossbow bolt and just praise to the trickster Does a 15 hit a 15 does not hit. Oh! See the bolts stick to your shoulder and he just keeps charging at you. The trickster is very tricky, you know, like in the name.

It's right in the name, I should have known. That is Fergus's turn. Fergus continues to charge. Takes a swing at Yuzerk. Yeah, shout out to the two crew on the first hit. Oh! Nice. I roll one way way 19 to hit on the second hit med hits Only four damage rolled the one on his detent. Oh nice. Still up. Yeah last hit is a 24 to hit that does hit Come on nine damage I One hit point. Oh my god

Nine damage. I have one hit point. Oh my god. The burger. The burger's bash is you in the ribs. You feel like several ribs break. And you clutch your stomach and fall over, gasping, but still conscious. You see, Sib is wrestling with Fergus trying to stop him

from killing you. You're having flashbacks to that first night in Thorncirk. I spit blood out of my mouth and say, I've been hurt way worse than this. And that's where we'll end our session. Did you put your blood in? Oh fuck. Did I look kind of hot when I died?

Was I a little bit cute? Oh. Murphail and spicy today. Oh fuck me up. Spicy everybody. You just kicked our marbles all over the floor. Damn, this is like campaign one, Murf coming in. That's right.

If you want to listen to my players, yell at me, you can head on over to our Patreon. patreon.com slash nad pod. That's any DDTOD you don't sing yet. You are gonna get it. That's right. To listen to our after show, in the meantime, just anybody have anything to plug.

You know what, I have something that I wanted to plug and I forgot, I don't know if I ever did it, but my sister's folk album came out, so I, and I promised her I'd shout it out. Nice. Oh. Check out, check out our band, Honey Magpie, as the name of the band.

There's a website, they're on Spotify. And I think there are beautiful songs. Check out, have a little name. Magpie, everybody. Fun fact, some of them. If you go on, there's a lot of love in the family, because if you go on Spotify and you go to Emily Axford and Honey Magpie, you get the other one in your requested artists.

Is that true? That is true. Yeah. Oh, that's cute. Also, it's cute that you listen to me, Murf. Does that mean that you go to my... That does mean I listen to you. I do listen to you when I it's cute that you listen to me, Merff. Does that mean they go to my That does mean I listen to you. I do listen to you when I work sometimes I listen to you. I listen to your album when I'm in the gym sometimes. Yeah

Yeah, it's nice that the algorithm understands love Yeah, maybe the algorithm is good I would love to shout out our PO box. We've got some more fun stuff there If you were like to send us things you can send it at 19 20 Hillhurst Avenue number 222. Los Feliz, California. We got some great stuff. Stephanie D sent us her homemade bachelorette inspired one shot. Whoa. Fake roses and handmade tokens. I really want to try it. I think it's called the Bachelor Elf, which is very funny. Steve and C sent us a hand knitted Papa, which is like gosh a Papa dripping with even more love than moonshine can give it. That is so good. Thank you so much. Hey, let's not talk about moonshine's limitations.

They don't exist. I hate to say it, but Steve is called Jeff S sent us another trove of blue rays, including transporter one and two and also a bunch of bandams. Hell yeah, this point is doing it. He's doing it against a murk. Yeah. At this point, I'm just picturing a dragon with like a horde of blue rays. And they just want you to come over and like, hang out on their couch. Deborah W. AKA At Doberi Panda sent me a painted hungry Dave Frisbee, whoo!

hanging in my office now. Very cute, thank you very much. And some good luck charms. Donna L sent us the book, The Magic Nesting Doll, which is made by her sister-in-law. Donna writes that the art in it reminded them of Elder Morn. So congratulations Donna and to your sister-in-law as well. And finally, this one's great.

Jade P sent us a massive, hand-knitted blanket, aka hashtag one big blanket. Oh yeah. Whoa. It weighs over 11 pounds and is perfect for now. Is that the bike that we've had? I've been waiting for you to show this out because I love it and my cat's need on it all the time. It made its way to the Axe River. We have a website. It is a shirt obsessed with it. And it's so and as someone who loves like a weighted gravity blanket, it serves

that function. It is an amazing blanket. Thank you so much. That's amazing. Thank you. Oh, yes, thank you so much. And thank you to all the people that sent us fun things. Sweet. Oh yeah. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode of El Dormon. In the meantime, you can follow us all on Twitter. AdCHMurf is me. AdCaldi is called whilewell, Atte X sort of Emily, and at Jake Horitz's Jake. And you can tweet about the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent

council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffreus, Haldorfros back, Steelbreaker and Matt M, a crew of radical teens who live their lives toad la max. They spend their days doing cool stunts on their slime-covered snowboards and preaching the benefits of assault-free lifestyle. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jaib G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B, audience members who placed bets on the Sib vs Toad the Max fight. Luckily they all bet on Sib escaping at the last moment and now they're all rich. Trickster be praised.

Super the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan and Scott D, Batilda's Witch Coven. Each of them also lives in an abandoned train car, except for Andrew M, who lives in a normal condo and is mercilessly razzed for it on the speaking stone chat. Danny P. Alaina C. Mixologist Michael McD and Bounder's Boy, people who had their shadows removed by the prophet Cain and Swear by the procedure mostly because they're all assassins and can now sneak around much more easily now. Entru B. Justin I. TGM The Noem Barbarian. Alaina M. Trailey The Cray Faye and Jared E. Inventors of Sprite Away, a revolutionary tonic that can keep pesky fairies from messing with you for up to 24 hours.

It's also got 3,000% of your daily iron requirement and may or may not just be made from melting down iron nails and mixing them with milk. Christopher B, Austin Bonesaw, MR, Damial R, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt and Octolich, a family of swamp creatures that was also at the scale ceremony. Fiya used to be in a book club with them, but had to quit after Bookfar caught a bad case of mildew. Gage M, Skokilla, Destincy, Richardx Machina, Michael L, and Kelvin Noodles.

People swindled into buying potions from Zerk's mother. None of them got sick, but they did accidentally become invisible, and now they're all standing right behind Zerke and waiting for the perfect moment to embarrass him. Sergio Célezare Salomon Sakurai Sesequani Tress the Traveler, Jorias, Dena G, Kaelamel, and Ryan, the fine purveyors of Poison Parasols. Sure, it's an ethically questionable business venture, but nothing keeps the sun out of your eyes like a poison parisol. Jack L. Flawless Whale, Temporal, Sam L. Nicklessy, and Recent S, a book club that meets at Black Thorn Hall and has been absolutely devastated by all this roasting of people for bringing books to the bar. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Colton B. And Adam G. An organization of Weirwolf

Doolas that has been trying to nab Fia for practicing without a license, they'll get her one of these days. Mateo C, Nibadger, Panama James, Adrian the Halfling Bard, and John HN, Madame Whitlock's cronies who defected right before this public execution stunt, they didn't do it for moral reasons, they were just super pissed about having to find, sedate, and imprison a Toadlamax. Dan, Nikki W, Drew Nasty, and Ceci Lulu, a nest of Toadlamins. They're actually even more aggressive than Toadlamax's, they're just very small. Jay, Barnes & Aitor, Douglas A, and Michelle O, some villagers who saw Zirk whisper messages

into pebbles to transmit them and are working on a similar invention they're currently calling a cell stone. Ritterin, Timmy R, Lucas B, Aroness and Kevin M, the owners of Fia's favorite T-shop, Leaf Peepers, and Fia does indeed go in and peep the leaves, sometimes for hours on end, not catching the owner's subtle hints that they would like to close for the day. Austin C, hog fishes above average hog. New York, Steven C. and KJ, Henry's shadow family. They show up everything's giving to appear to him in mirrors and reflective surfaces

with unblinking stairs and dire warnings. Happy holidays. Rowel N. Mike K. Maxwell C. and Nick L. Toadlamax riders who participated in and were subsequently eaten during the first and last horror rodeo. Bad idea, everybody. Quaranty, Ekathor, 666, Justin Raccoon, Nick W and Michael C. Super cool youth group Reaper preachers who will throw you in a pit with a horror, but will do it while playing an acoustic

guitar and hacky sacking. As may I'm, Spartagnus, Nathan, Kazemir the All Knowing, and Big Bad Beard of the Mad, Pitt wrestlers who would have been super useful to the Chuchu crew for this fight, unfortunately they were preparing for their upcoming Pay Per View Elder Slam. Eric Mick D, Jack Meehawf, Burley T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius Caesar, Augustus, Germanicus, Christian A, the peaceful, slug people of Elderborn who are doing all they can to get salt banned from bars and restaurants. All it takes is one dropped French fry to take out a family of these little guys. Jay Dragonborn, Jonathan O, the Sanjayan, Ben A and Feldonis, the young squires who have faced the Baron in

fencing practice. So Ashton, a 30 year old man, is the champion of the 9-12 league. David H, Catherine S, David Kay, Christian S, Keith Kay and Brittany B, teenage fensers who once beat the shit out of Soation with sabers, forever traumatizing him into only facing tweens. Kyle H, Emilio D, Frankie Koala, Big Bad John, Aston S, Blair, the Bug, Blair, Bar, Blairian, tweens who fought Soastion to help him train. It took everything they had not to just knock him out easily, especially Blair, who almost injured Soastion just by absorbing a blow from his practice sword. Punk Chop, Chanel M, Argent, Alice, Minette F, and Pat L, the tricksters drinking buddies.

No one loves a house party more. They often polish off a keg and give each other excessively dumb, sticking pokes. Lauren H, Janine E, Maddie Y, the eldest Barry and Ryan S, Madame Whitlock's Parasol designers. They are known for coming up with the coolest new concept, parasols in every shape and color. The poison dagger part though is all provided by Madame Whitlock's Parasol Designers, they are known for coming up with the coolest new concept parasols in every shape and color, the Poison Dagger part though is all provided by Madame Whitlock.

The Bone Duster, Joshua H, Robot, CRSP, Idrisill, and Brent Lee C, Batilda's tattoo artists, they spent a year doing an absolutely sick sleeve on Batilda's left arm than one drunken night with the Tricksters Party crew doing crew doing sticking pokes on the right. Micah B, Carly Ann, Clarke of the Thunderfuck's, Jorge C and Connor Savage, the crew of rooks who got informed on, they were pumped to get out of their bindings and kick some ass at the execution, and now all of them have vowed to take up reading at the bar to stick it to their informant. B-Chef, Russell H, Christopher J.O., Cole, the Goldfish Gremlin, Logan S, and Benjamin

SK, the Toadlemaxes Trainers, it's a pretty easy gig because the Toad kind of just wants to eat everything anyway, the only trick is to never bring any salt into the pit. Leviathan, Dimae A, Bioquart 7, Remington CD, Mike R and Everett P, some folks who tested out Verveins, Elixirs, most of them still have diarrhea, though somehow the Elixir absolutely worked on Leviathan's muscle soreness. And that's all for this week.

Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to patreon.com slash nadpod to listen to our after show. In the meantime, thank you to all of our listeners, thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers, and thank you to all of our benevolent counsel of elders. We'll catch you all next time.