Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 8: Until We Meet Again

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

The Choo Choo crew continues their battle against Fergus Whitlocke! Henry hovers on the edge of death, Fia braves a Horror's wrath, and Zirk gets one last shot. Support us at Patreon.com.../Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Big Crowd Chatter" by Kyster at Freesound.org."The Lonely Autumn" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford. "Blackthorn Hall" by Emily Axford."A Hospitable Farewell" by Emily Axford."Hardwon Takes the Wheel" by Emily Axford."The Gunslinger's Girl" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford. "Gutless" by Emily Axford."Henry" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:20 brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. ["Fast and Furious"] Welcome to the campaign after the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. ["Fast and Furious"] Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody. Oh, Elder Morn, everybody.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Elder Morn. Have you done, J. Master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz, Hong Kongi, and his shadow, Shonk, Shonkfish? No, I haven't heard your grins. I got lans back last time when I tried to bring him back on the grill. Everybody was mad. I was on your side. You tried to lose everyone. You're a waffler. I'll try again next week. Okay. Okay. We do have Emily Axford.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Yeah, Bogania. Master of books and on blinking looks. Very bad. You're on the wrong chair. No, nope. That of course we've got called all Tanner. Oh, Zork for Vane, friendly kindler of fiery bolts descended from a swindler of country doles. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, there he is. Maybe that's what it is. We just give our names and then we just go, ha, ha, ha. Okay, all right, I'll come correct next week. I'll come correct next week. Okay, perfect, yeah. When you're done, when you're done,, honk, honk. Okay, all right, I'll come correct next week. I'll come perfect, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:45 When you're done, when you're done, you give a polite honk. You introduce yourself. Thea Bogania, Master of Books and Unblinking Looks honk. Whoa, that was a polite honk. That was a very cool event. You got to start every combo with a polite honk. That was like, you know that the light is turned and you need to move. Okay, everybody, let's do a little recap.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Yeah. So last time you all rushed from the dungeons to the chapel on the edge of town where an execution was taking place. Madam Whitlock was looking to make an example of Sib with a Reaper-style ceremony in which a victim is placed on a set of scales and lowered into a pit with a horror. In this case, a slug slash toad hybrid called a toadlemax. The site of the scales triggered a memory in Fia, where we learned that she was once set to be executed in a similar fashion, but was saved at the last second by the blade witch Patilda. Zirk had deja vu as well using skills he learned from his swindling alchemist mother to
Starting point is 00:03:51 read the crowd and get a bunch of them on your side. Together you were able to halt the execution and free sib but the ensuing battle against the Whitlocks has proven quite troubling. After throwing Madame Whitlock in the pit with the Toadlamax, Fia was thrown in herself. Henry was then knocked out by Fergus and had a vision where he fled conflicts across several lifetimes.
Starting point is 00:04:17 An older version of himself warned Henry that he couldn't die because he was close to breaking the curse. Things were looking grim for the Chuchu crew until Fia was able to save Madam Whitlock from the Toadlamax, convincing her goons to stop attacking her allies. Still, Fergus Whitlock carried on the fight, and no amount of Zerks' crossbow bolts or Sib's daggers seemed to be bringing him down. With a mighty blow of his hammer, Fergus was able to bring Zirk within an inch of his life, but he stays standing. There is still hope yet, and that is where you are now. We really gave it our all, huh?
Starting point is 00:04:55 Yeah. Our friend Henry is knocked out. Zirk is at 1 HP with Fergus bearing down on him. Fia is in this pit with Madame Witlock. Both of them in great danger. And with that, that is actually the Toad Lamax's turn. Fia, I would like for you to go ahead and roll me a pure luck check. You are down here with several goons and the Baroness.
Starting point is 00:05:19 So go ahead and roll me a D6. A 1 means he goes after you. 5. 5. Okay. I'm gonna go after a one means he goes after you. Five. Five, okay. Gonna go after the one guard that's down here. You see this thing wraps its tongue around this one guard. You see rush of necrotic energy. You see this dude's head just explodes.
Starting point is 00:05:40 He dies straight up just from dealing with the soul. Was it a book guy? Was it a book guy? It was one of the town guards that was with the sword. Was it? Was it? No, it was not book guy. It was one of the town guards that was with the rugs. Well, Willie. Right, that was Wawilly.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Sweet, that's the end of the round. We're back to doing ally checks to see which ally will assist you. Jake, go ahead and roll me a D4. Come on, two, three. Three. That is Marcy. Oh, I don't see. She has a little hungover.
Starting point is 00:06:04 She's been drinking all day. A little late to join. Slow on the update. I'm going to say Fergus is on a separate part of the battlefield from a lot of you other guys right now. I'm going to say Marcy can jump in and help with the toad. So go ahead and Jake make two attacks on the toad from Marcy. Fia, you see Marcy jumps into the pits
Starting point is 00:06:25 and makes two swings down on them. Marcy crit. Oh! How many times? That is, one that 20 and the other was a natural 14. A natural 14? Okay, both are going to hit. Can I, you rouse the bitterness to witness this,
Starting point is 00:06:39 to try to be like, wow, that would be a good person to have in charge of the order. I'm just gonna use this. Yes, yes, yes, whatever, whatever, just get him the fuck away from me. He swallowed me. He ruined my fucking parasol At least you wore black so Marcy Crits on this thing and is going to do fucking 17 damage to this toad Whoa, all right back up to initiative 19. That is Sib.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Fergus has swung and broken your rib-zirk. Is about to swing down on you again. You see Sib emerges from behind him. Attempts to stab him again. Called well. Go ahead and roll the first attack. Roll the D20s. I'm sure they roll the D2020 they get a plus six to hit
Starting point is 00:07:28 Okay, all right six wow Shut up to the two crew yikes. How do we roll so many goddamn two? Add no into Fergus Fergus does not lose a fucking step keep swinging down Emily go ahead and roll another D20 for Seb Okay, okay, I'm rolling my best dice who's performing the most interesting today. Shout out to the three cre. No! What the fuck? You're the fuck?
Starting point is 00:07:55 Zirk, you see they stab again? And Fergus just does not fucking respond. Henry, that is your turn. You have to stop using prop- Go ahead and roll a dead saving throw Jesus Shout out to the two crew what the fuck You death save fails Jesus Henry's on death's door What the fuck? Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, two, two, two
Starting point is 00:08:18 That is Madame Whitlock's turn. Madame Whitlock is barely alive just covered in this crazy gunk and dirt just goes ah! And goes forward with her parasol and take some swings at this toad. Shout out to the two crew on the first attack. Crits on the second attack. And hits on the third attack. 14 damage to this toad. It needs to make a constitution saving throw to not be dazed. It fails. It is dazed, it's gonna get disadvantaged on his future attacks. That is Sashion's turn. Sashion is knocked out but alive. Fia, that is your turn. Hang in there. Am I close enough that I can climb out of the pit and try to attack footages. You can make an athletics check to get out of the pit certainly. Okay,
Starting point is 00:09:03 I will do this. Okay, I'm gonna say DC 15 to get out of the pit 11 plus five is 16. Yes, Fiya you jump up You barely are able to get up you see that when Sib jumped down there They left one of their daggers in the wall and you're able to grab onto that and pull yourself up And you get up you see Fergus about to swing down on Zirk, you see Mr. Henry is knocked out. I have no spells to give to Mr. Henry, so I will just try to attack Fergus. Go ahead and make your attack. Three plus five plus one is not gonna be a night. You go to slash him, you see he's wearing a breastplate,
Starting point is 00:09:48 the blade, kshh, clanks off the metal, and that is the Goons turns. There's still two Goons alive. Sweet, one of them hits twice, 14 damage total to the Toad, Toad is fucked up. That is... Nice. Zerkster.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Alright. This dude swinging down on you, you're barely alive, you're dazed, you see Fia and Sib hanging onto this dude just stabbing into him and him not responding. I beckon for him to come closer and I say, I know people like you, you're just a mark. You do whatever your sister tells you to do. She's the one around here you gotta worry about. I've known people like her. She's dangerous. But you're a diamond dozen.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Uh, and I'm going to try and, as I'm distracting him with this talk, try and prepare a firebolt to blast him. Switz, you pull out your crossbow, go ahead and shoot a fiery bolt at him. Come on. That's a 20. Dirty 20. Okay, you hit. I'll thank you, sir. You should have hit 20.
Starting point is 00:11:02 You hit. Oh yeah. No shame in a little bit. Sirk, I'm gonna tell you right now. He's got 8 HP left. Okay, here we go. You got to add anything to this. It's just a straight D10.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I whisper a quick little message to Spritele and say, I'll promise you whatever you want if we can get out of this, okay? You see Spritele zips over to Henry. Cool. That's a nine. Oh my God! Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Oh my God. Bolt goes directly into Fergus's heart. You see, for a moment, almost in like protest of his own body, is still trying to lift his hammer. Huh. Huh. Huh. You see, he drops to one knee, drops his hammer,
Starting point is 00:11:55 literally lifts out his hands and is trying to like claw your face and just dies at your feet. Fergus is dead. It's been a pleasure. But we've got another town to get to. Fergus is dead. That was Fergus's turn. That is the Toad's turn. Fuck me.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Toad makes to it, uh, makes the tax with disadvantage because he's days. Mrs. Madame Whitlock, at the end of the rounds, go ahead and roll me a ally check, because they can, um, try to bring you up with a medicine check. Not bad. Alright, that's a one. One is Willie. Willie. Willie runs over and starts doing chest compressions on Henry and goes, Mr. Clark, you gotta stay with me, man. You gotta stay with me. Willie is going to go ahead and make a wisdom check. Uh, he has a plus zero.
Starting point is 00:12:53 He needs to roll a 10 or higher to stabilize Henry. He's made a glass, but he's got a heart of gold. That is a natural 20. Oh my god! Henry! I'll stay with a Nat 20 medicine check. Henry, you bounce back up with one HP. You see for a second,
Starting point is 00:13:20 it looks like a younger version of you, like your son, like little Henry is standing over you. Hey, hey, little Hank, that's you, that you Henry? Uh, well, well, well, no, Mr. Clark, my name is Willie. Oh, right. Remember you punched me in the face? I'm not crying.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yeah, be there right. Okay. I did my duty, sir. I did my duty. You're a good kid. You're a good kid, Willie. I did my duty, sir. I did my duty. You're a good kid. You're a good kid, Willie. I did my duty, sir. You did.
Starting point is 00:13:47 You're really dead. Mr. Henry, the rain seems to find your face the most. That's right. You see, Willie holds you in his arms. You have popped up. That is Sib's turn. Sib is going to look to you, Fiya, and go. We still help in this beariness.
Starting point is 00:14:03 I feel as though I made it promise. Sip goes over, is going to toss two daggers down at the toad. You see, as you go over to the edge of the pits, Madam Whitlock, once again, is grabbed by the toadlemax. And it's about to be swallowed. You see Sip leans over the edge, one in each eye and the toad drops. And that's what I call a salt. You guys have lived to fight another day
Starting point is 00:14:34 and have freed Thorn Kirk from the threat of the Whitlocks. You hear a cheer go up. You see the baron stumbles to his feet and goes, let us celebrate it, my keep! PORTS IN DRASAUSFRO! Be careful about combining the two though, being an adenting course when you are drunk can lead to projectiles. PORTS FOR SOME DRASAUSFRO! Some chrisage brothers! Three! Sir coughs up a little blood. Fia is kind of understanding, is hearing like,
Starting point is 00:15:10 oh the threat of the wheat locks and she's starting to wonder if it is bad that she helped Madame wheat lock. You don't get the sense that it's bad that you helped Madame wheat lock. In fact, you see, there's been basically a mini revolution here, right? You see, as people kind of gather themselves, you see, Sib is talking to a bunch of the rooks and you see that Madam Whitlock, without, you know, the crown behind her,
Starting point is 00:15:36 without these guards supporting her, they've just been inspired to essentially turn on her, without her guards, without half the rooks, without furgus intimidating, these sort of more neutral rooks who didn't want to take a side, she's got very few supporters right now. She's very weak. You see the few remaining supporters of Madam Whitlock
Starting point is 00:16:00 help drag her out of the pit. She's all muddy and just like yelling at her few handlers. You see, they quickly just kind of usher her off towards the town. She's just a regular lady now with a regular umbrella. I was going to say I do want that umbrella. Let's swap it out for us. You, hey, hey. You see, she turns to you just like covered in mud and toad gunk and just goes what what could you possibly ask of me?
Starting point is 00:16:31 Oh, I could maybe ask thank you for saving my life. Do you not recall me dragging you from the pit of a total of max stomach or was I the only one presence during that moment? I saw that. I only died briefly and I witnessed two people see this. Okay, three people see this interesting. Did anyone see you push me into that pit? I know. Well, you were asking for it. You were taking your parasol at my friend here and it made him not feel good.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Your brother was hammering me like a nail at that moment in time. Madam Vidlock, I have a habit of giving the benefit of a doubt to people who let me down. I don't know why I tried. It was strategic but there is part of me that does not want you to just be a piece of shit. Am I so foolish? You see, she takes her parasol, she breaks it over her knee, and she tosses it at your feet. There. It's all yours. I look shocked.
Starting point is 00:17:38 I pick it up, tears in my eyes. Madam, we look. Why would you do this to me? I am just the witch who saved your life and I cast mending on it and then swore it around perfectly together. She just goes, get me out of here, god damn it. Just yells at a bunch of her goons. Okay, so yeah, again, I invest in someone who is nothing. Okay. They take her and they start walking off. Hey, don't worry, you showed mercy, that's really cool. I agree, I think it is better to be a hopeful fool
Starting point is 00:18:14 who is sometimes right than a sin, a coup is sometimes wrong. So this is okay for me. Yeah, we gotta help where we can. Speaking of, how are people on this battlefield looking? You see, generally, mostly around furgus is where a lot of the like serious violence happens, like other people, like other townsfolk, like, you know, hurt themselves and whatnot. Like, there's definitely people who need to be patched up. The only real fatalities are like the people who got eaten by the toad, Lamax, the dude
Starting point is 00:18:44 that's the barren killed. There's only been like three people killed and most of them were by the toadlamaks. Oh, you know what we should do. May I signal to Sieb and also my verwolf? This verwolf, Randall, comes over, kind of hunched over in verwolf mode. Randall, I'm going to introduce you to someone. You might want to wash away some of the blood around your mouth. Oh right, yeah, no, I killed somebody too.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Sorry about that, everybody. You see, Randal has, Randal ate two people. Oh, one more than the Baron, good. Was that before the battle or after? That was, that was mid battle I think. And that a little bit after the truce was called, this one guy was like, he just had to finish.
Starting point is 00:19:26 He was finished. He was finished. So, you're still holding the arm. You're not gonna leave meat on the plate. Good night. Yeah, I'm going to make it into the docksion for you so maybe put down the severed arm. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:19:37 You see, Sib comes over and they go, well, you know, great job, Buds. I guess thanks for saving my life or whatever. I guess I oh you I can tell you're framing it with sarcasm, but you mean it and yeah, I guess I really value you And I'm glad you came here and I wasn't expecting anyone to save me But then you did I have a hard time reading people's to save me, but then you did. I have a hard time reading people's inflections, but with you, it is an open book. I always understand that.
Starting point is 00:20:11 That's interesting, because I'm trying to be so guarded. I'm truly trying to be so guarded. Well, Sib, I wanted you to meet a friend of mine, because you, I think, will occupy an important space in Tornker going forward. And I want you to meet Randall. He's my friend, he's a Verwolf. And you know, there are some very good Verwolves who live around Tornker. And maybe you can be friends. You see Sib's eyes widen and they shake Randall's hand.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Randall's like, hey, yeah, you do it. Yeah, we just started a family out here. We're trying to get into the best werewolf preschool, but that's not easy. I turn to Mr. Henry and Mr. Zirk. Is this a good first impression? I'm trying to understand. As good as possible, I'd say.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Just like, yeah, I'm just thinking about diapers in preschool and it's kind of welling up so I just not. So yeah you see Randall and Sib and all the others join this kind of crowd that is heading over towards the barrens keep. Well Mr. Henry would you like to go maybe we will find another hot pot or two? Yeah you know I could use a hot plate to heat up some stones and do a hot stone massage on my lower back or something or maybe Love to just rip the winter protection off of the pool and go for a dip
Starting point is 00:21:36 You know if we could heat that pool. I could really go for a soak If you got blogging all your hot plates and put them in Bookfire goes, no, don't let her anywhere near the pool. Bookfire, such a coward! Even that's a bad old New York out of me. We in the battle, you are too much of a coward. That's death, miss. Be a sprints off to enact. No, we need to save her.
Starting point is 00:21:58 We must save her. She called my plate. She had my app plate. This is her, we need to save her. Okay, all right, let's go. I have the ability to make fire at any time. I don't know why we're relying on the hot plate, but yes, let's go Do not plug it in I beg of you. You all at bookmark give chase to fia as she rushes to certain doom She's so fast you had to the barons keep you see that the gates are open
Starting point is 00:22:22 People are rushing in you see guards are taking down the Petty King's banners. Some of Sebastian's banners begin the process of removing Madame Whitlock's stuff and restoring Fenrose Keep. You see that right now, it seems like the guards and whatnot are willing to put Soation back in his keep. However, you do know that he has technically been stripped of his lands.
Starting point is 00:22:43 You do have that note that you can drop off at the Rookery. If you'd still like to try to get him some help, if not, you can kind of just either let him figure it out on his own in the coming days, or maybe the petty king will just send another royal to take his place. What is the Rookery? Is it another bar for the Rooks? No, the Rookery is like a place where they keep the like Ravens and stuff I mean we could drink there
Starting point is 00:23:06 I guess that would technically make it a bar. I would love to get drunk or on the bunch of messenger Ravens Oh, we could we could drunk mess with it. I wouldn't make fun of me for bringing a book We could also get drunk before and kind of go there late night and send like drunk. Yeah, we'll do like drunk Drunk and send drunk, yeah, we'll do drunk scores. Okay, you guys are not sending the letter. Well, we're going to, but we're gonna do it late. We were gonna do it so first. Okay, I will hold you to it.
Starting point is 00:23:34 If you guys remember, you remember, if you don't remember, you don't remember, I'm not gonna remind you. You guys see. I already the cross my forehead to remind them. Right underneath the baby bangs. Great, now it's my fault to buy for get. You guys see, this big party has broken out.
Starting point is 00:23:51 You see the Baron breaks out his dancing horses and puts on a show for everyone. Did not expect them to be wearing dresses, but you know, I guess that's on me. It's right in the news. This one's break dancing. This is too much. One has a little tux though. One has a little tux. How is that horse. This is too much I'm as a little talk though. Why is it a little talk?
Starting point is 00:24:06 How is that horse popping and locking? Yelding has a little tax. Those tails are gonna get in the way. You see it's it's Majestic your breath gets caught a little bit as you watch so ask you dance With these horses. I turn to mr. Henry Mr. Henry he talks about being very good at a lot of things and not so much is it true, but this is perhaps true. This one I've never seen any man practice something more. It's his passion. Practice makes perfect of course, I've been sort of a waste. He's got that 10,000 hours. You see as this one horse pops and locks,
Starting point is 00:24:45 you see, so as soon as it's on its back, just hugging it and sobbing, oh, it's been hours, it's been hours. So often we are born to a station that is not our passion. You see that people out here have straight up busted out like ancient casks of wine from his seller and are just drinking it freely out in front of the garden. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:10 You see Willie and Marcy and others are out here mingling with the other townsfolk. And you do see that bottom wit lock has gotten changed out of like her her muddy clothes is back in like her immaculate white. She sees gathered a bunch of her belongings and several trunks. She is joining a caravan of the Petty King's Knights led by Petty Jack. You see there about a dozen of these knights.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Looks like Petty Jack was getting ready to leave town and Madame Whitlock's just gonna go with him. You see a lot of these knights are on horseback and there is one carriage in their procession. You see Madame lot of these knights are on horseback and there is one carriage in their procession. You see Madam Whitlock just kind of gives you a cold gaze as she slams the carriage door shut and they take off. Fia is distressed and looks for a tall stout. Fia, you are able to find a tall stout Pia you are able to find a tall stout so as soon as I get a mustache of foam
Starting point is 00:26:07 The bus goes to my head and I say who was I to say sentence her to death? It is fine Who was I to sentence her to death? Hey Pia, it's okay, you know We all have people in our life that we Want the best foreign and want to trust but you got to just worry about being the best version of you, you know? Mmm, I see you're right. I see exactly what you're saying, Mr. Zirk. And I go jump in the pool. Oh, you see the cover, the pool cover is still on, you see? I get caught in it and wrapped it out.
Starting point is 00:26:42 She instantly gets wrapped in it and starts thrashing around it book. Oh Safer saver my god Mr. Henry, Mrs. Arc I run over and jump in as well and instantly get stuck I summon I summon shi I summon shank into the pool Help Stop Okay, I can't move it save the mr. Henry the stream. I'm gonna have to yank on this cover really hard and my back is Definitely pulled okay, but fine if only any of these horses knew how to pull things, but they're all for dancing
Starting point is 00:27:23 They have a different purpose in life. I would love to be in a carriage drawn by these dancing horses. Henry, go ahead and get me. It's so long to get anywhere. Go ahead and give me a strength, Jack. Got it. That is a nat one.
Starting point is 00:27:40 You see, Henry also falls into the cavern, as you guys are all. Just the end of the Chuchu crew. Yeah guys are all just the end of the Chuchu crew Yeah, this might be the end of the Chuchu crew Henry has like one HP. Yeah, okay Gonna die Marcy is gonna run over and try to do a strength check to pull you out Shout out to the three cream Marcy does not fall in but it's like you have now caused a scene She does not fall in, but it's like, you have now caused a scene. They're sick.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Or is it, it's sick. Or is it, what? Oh, no, you see, Sim runs over to try to help. Sim has, Sim runs over. Save yourself, Sim. Sim rolls at nine and has a minus two to strength. You see that, I can't get you. I can't get you.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Don't leave me, don't leave me. And at least fall in with her. So I should, so I should, so I should. These horses aren't meant for pulling. You see, this one horse is just doing the cha-cha as it tries to get close to you. I'll try, I'll try. So I should, we'll try with the horse.
Starting point is 00:28:34 That horse is thugging. The horse gets in that one. You see the horse and so I should fall on the pool. Ah! At this point, out of so many people in the pool that we have displaced the pool. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh mean, I guess as long as we're in the pool, we might as well stay. Yeah, can you heat this thing up, Zerker? Oh, yeah. I inflate a little, inflatable, coosy.
Starting point is 00:29:15 So you guys heat up. What's left of this pool? Oh, Fia, I know you've got a fear of salt, but can put some Epson salt in this thing? It's it really does wonders on the muscles Hi, are you sure it doesn't take your moisture if you wish to see the end of the abogin Yeah, put salt in the pool. I you know what I put a I pull out a pepper shaker and I put salt in it say oh No, no, this is special healing pepper. it's not like salt at all. Ah yes pepper I wish loves. No I'm no I'm worried that fear might be right sir See um Fiya does begin to prune and you're instantly worried that okay, we're not testing fate
Starting point is 00:29:57 We're not testing fate. The heat is the hot water is all I need that's fine So you guys see after a while, the sun goes down, party lasts long into the night, and at a certain point, you see Sibb comes up and joins you guys, puts their feet in the water, leans down and goes, so, where are you all off to next? I think we gotta make our way into the skill tip valley. Yes, we are going to take a boat on the river.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Have you ever gone on the river before? Yeah, I've traveled along the river quite a bit actually. In fact, if you guys want to follow me, I think it got something that could help you. Oh cool. All right. Yeah, if you tries to Detangle yourself from the pool cover unsuccessfully shows you just sort of wears it like a vital train You see Sibb takes you off the barren's property Takes you down like into the woods to an area between the Barrens Keep and the public docks. You see there is an area here where the river curves north before heading west out of town.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And here you see an old boat house and you see Sib goes through a ring of keys and opens it. And you see inside this large boat house a dusty but well-maintained killboat. It's probably the best kind of vessel you're gonna find for navigating a river like this. It has a sail that is currently closed. It's about 50 feet long. It's just one level, but on the deck you see a few places for roars to sit as well as a few sets of ores, and a cabin on the far end.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Even though there is so much room for like, you know, there's room for like multiple rowers, really you only need like one person to, you know, man a kill boat, so like, you'll be okay, only like one person going at a time. You see that this boat is quite well made. You run your hands along the dark, finished oak. Splinter.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Actually, you don't get a splinter. That's how well-made it is. Wow. It is beautifully made. Oh, this was here before. You got that in the battle, but your adrenaline was pumping. Yeah, from your fireball. Oh, yeah, look at that.
Starting point is 00:32:22 The boat house is not nearly as well built. I think maybe you stabbed yourself on the way in. Yeah, you're bleeding. Oh my God. You see in the front, more for aesthetics than anything. There's a small water wheel set in the hall. And you see, um, I owe you all my life, so I'm gonna give you the only thing that matters to me And you see they pat this boat. This is your boat Go ahead and give me a perception check I got a net one Fiya you can tell that this is Sib's boat and that probably like they ran away from whatever situation they were in in this boat and it means the world to them and that they are parting with it and that that is heartbreaking and touching. What did you guys get?
Starting point is 00:33:15 I got a 12. I got a 17. 17. Henry, you fully see the SS scampy on the side. You see a little rose peekaking out of the sales it is quite clear that Sib just robbed the bear in during the party. This is yeah. Fia fumbles at the clasp of her Ruby necklace and says I will never be able to repay
Starting point is 00:33:40 this but please take this and hands the Ruby necklace to Sib. You see Sib takes it and instantly looks super guilty and goes no no it wouldn't be the same if we traded you've already given me my life and so I will give you this please don't hey what's what's a couple of lives between friends? Just you see they hand the they see like that Henry kind of knows the score. You see they just slip the necklace into Henry's pocket and then nod towards Fian goes you, I'll wear it all the time. Thanks, Tim, you did the right thing. You're a good coach, Tim. Hey, and Hank, you did a good job,
Starting point is 00:34:38 and I'll just leave it at that, and I won't add anything to that. Wow, you know? Wow, a compliment. I love what you add. a compliment with no qualifications? Let's know. Hold eyes so hard that you would think that you'd be able to do a little better, but still just through pure sweat and effort he's able to do. I see. Try hard. Does it come? I wish you guys had this conversation
Starting point is 00:35:00 after I had turned the way. That would have been a better time. But anyway, let's say on the record, I didn't say any of that. All I said was, you all did a good job. Good enough for me. We appreciate it. Thank you, Siebe. So, are you going to stick around here? You see they nod and they go, the rooks are here for the taking. So,'m gonna stick around here. Maybe we'll go legit. Maybe we won't. We'll kind of see how the powers that be treat us. But I'll keep on doing what I do, which is steal from the rich and give to myself. No one's cooler than you, Sid. As long as you're steering the ship that is definitely yours,
Starting point is 00:35:44 I think things are gonna work out, A, okay. This has been in my family for a long time, so everybody be really beautiful. It's a beautiful vessel. Thank you. What is it called? It's called the SS.
Starting point is 00:35:57 It says the SS scampy. Is your mother's name scampy? Or is it because you're such a little scam? It's because I'm such a little scam. That's the thing, is that Zerky is you just you figure it out is you're just on the ball and interesting. That's why I respect you and that's why I like you. What can I say? Learn from the best. See but I also must ask my train. Oh I cannot leave yet. I have to go get stuff from my train. What am I talking about? Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:36:25 And we have to take this letter to the rookery. Yes, of course. Okay. Well, we know what this is. Can I have the key? Yeah, you see you see they go Yeah, yeah, of course And the other keys are for my other things Do you want those or do you want it? We're just going to take the full set, huh? You see they had originally just thrown you all the keys and they go, no, no, right. Because this one, this one, of course, is for my house.
Starting point is 00:36:52 How many bikes do you have? These many keys for so many bike locks? No, I have a lot of family heirlooms and whatnot. Sid, why don't I hang on to this set of keys and I'm going to send them by Raven back to your place. Okay? You're going to be a big Raven.
Starting point is 00:37:08 You see they look down and they just go, fine. Oh, I should probably quit. I should quit my job. We've got a lot of letters to write, okay? Okay, yeah. I think I can probably do a two weeks notice via letter. I'll just put a bird in the office and people will get it. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Well thank you for this precious boat. I will not take it for granted. And I promise if I take a sheet, it will be off this side. I think it's got a head. I think you can, you can shit in the, you know, we'll, we'll take a tour and you can shit wherever you see. You prefer to have some options. I've, uh, I've written in this boat many times and yeah, we, we always shit off the side.
Starting point is 00:37:53 I think his normal behavior, I think is, you're starting to do more harm than good. That's what we do. Yeah. Is it, is that going to ruin my entire trip to scale tip value? Isn't that what the boom is for? You can just like shimmy off on the side of the boom and you shit off the hill. Yeah, I have failed. I have failed on this. I get pigeon on the telephone. Hey, I have failed a lot of these.
Starting point is 00:38:13 That is not three to one. That is not three to one. It's not a debate. I have never been in the water. The closest thing I have come to is getting caught in the pool. Covered. Okay, what, what, what did getting caught in the pool cover. Okay, what did you stay in the center of the boat then? You see Sibb reaches their handouts and they go, if you ever need a favor, don't hesitate
Starting point is 00:38:37 to call on the rucksab thorncirk. Careful. We might remember that. I look forward to seeing what you do with the place. You see, they nod and head off into the night. They're so good at disappearing. They really are. But if I was that sneaky, of course,
Starting point is 00:38:56 I would sneak in and out of every single conversation. It's amazing that they're so noiseless considering all the daggers on their person. Yeah, and this big ring of keys, you think that would jangle more. Oh, I have the keys. Do not worry about the keys. Okay, good. Okay, I'm going to take a swig from my flask, which I've filled with port now.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Wonderful. I'm kind of buzzed. You guys want to hit the ruckery and send some drunk scrolls? I, yes. I would love to, yes. you guys want to hit the ruckus in uh it's a prank scrolls. Sweet, you all go to this messenger tower. You see that there's this bird keeper here. You send out the letter to your ex-wife Henry asking for help from the capital. Mr. Zerke, let's send a prank bird to the king. Oh, Thurston, right, Leap? I was thinking a non-peddy king. Oh, you want to send a high quake bird to the high queen?
Starting point is 00:40:10 We should ask her if her cellar door is open. Yes, we should. Okay. You, right. And this stout is really alcoholic. I've had half of one and I am absolutely gone. You write a frank letter to the high queen of the under-bound empire.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I guess I whisper to the guy, to the Rookery guy, like, maybe you let this one sit until the morning. Fiya is beside herself with giggles. So you guys all leave the Rookery. You've sent... Oh, can I also write the... Just a thank you note to the Baron
Starting point is 00:40:52 along with his keys. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My heartfelt thank you for giving me all the outlets for my hotplate and a cop when I did nowhere else to turn. Sweet, you could just give that to a messenger. This person is like the messenger person here in Thorn Kirk. So you give them that letter. The other one you see, they tie it to a Raven and
Starting point is 00:41:20 send it off. And I run over to Nebels office, and I leave my two weeks notice, and I gather up all my supplies and whatnot, and I toss them in a big ol' bag, and I meet up with crew. So you leave in your two weeks notice, but we are heading out of town tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just letting them know.
Starting point is 00:41:40 You did that two weeks notice that you'll be gone for two weeks. And then for the rest of your life. Yeah, yeah. Do you have any dioramas of bodies from the coroner's office? Dioramas of, you mean like a medical journal? Or like a tiny little sculpture. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:01 So I can look at what the innards look like. I am just a curious. I am cursed with curiosity. I have this cross section of a skull. Yes, that will do nicely. Sure. Yeah, I mean, it's just painted. It's wood, but like we can take it. It's probably fine. He takes some He takes some little statues and stuff from Dr. Neville's office. This is one that this is a poster that lets you know if you have an ear infection or not. Should we take that? Yes, that's also very bad. You guys robbed the doctor's office. You know, he was, he might have left all this stuff to Zorkin as well. Anyway. I mean, yeah, if I can honestly like, if I can snag some components,
Starting point is 00:42:43 I'll take them. Yeah, you can get some like common components for alchemy, certainly. Yeah, I put a two week IOU in it. IOU two weeks notice. IOU two weeks of work where I haven't quit yet. Standard policy. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.
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Starting point is 00:44:12 Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Okay, you want to swing by your train fee and pack a... Yes, I am. I'm hoping under... I just have to pick up a couple things Swing by your train fee and pack a bin or something. I just have to pick up a couple things, but I also want to make sure that maybe Randy can watch the train while we are gone, because we have now all have some personal effects that we might want to watch it over. Yeah. Perhaps Randy and his family can upgrade to all three trains.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Wow. Oh yeah, they could put bunk beds in the caboose. Okay, they have more kids. You see, yeah, you go through the woods, you're able to find Randy's hut with his family. You see a warm fire just outside. You see their rounds like the campfire. You see Randy and his wife are playing with the little pup.
Starting point is 00:45:06 And you see he turns up and he looks at you and he goes, oh, hey, Fiya. Randy, we are going out of town and we need someone to watch over our trains and shower our house plants. You're looking for a house center? Yes. You see he turns to his wife Ramona. You see, she nods excitedly and she goes like,
Starting point is 00:45:28 I always love the train aesthetics. Ever since we moved, I've been looking to get back there. If we could have the whole place to ourselves, are you kidding me? It would be all yours. Do you mind if we have a cigar or two from the humidor? Would that be okay? The humidor? Uh, yes, I can leave the house.
Starting point is 00:45:43 You know what? It is for the best that I leave the humidor because there Uh, yes, I can leave the house. You know what? It is for the best that I leave the Humidor because there are so many cigars from the police. You don't want to take them out of that temperature control. Yes, that's better. You may help yourself to the Humidor, but the baby may not. Yeah, Henry looks at the little babe. What's the little one's name, huh?
Starting point is 00:46:03 Well, her name is Fang. Right now we're calling her Little Fang. Oh, that's very cute. It's real nice. Real nice. Congrats, guys. Zerke tries to pet the baby. Yeah, you successfully pet the baby. It's like a friendly enough baby.
Starting point is 00:46:18 It's very, very young. It kind of nips at you. It's in, they kind of only go into human form to go into town. But when they're out here, they're just fully in, fully in where we'll form baby. So this is just a straight up little puppy. Oh.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Mia does a little nose nozzle against the baby. Not for the first time. She knows my scent. Tears pour from Henry's eyes. The baby, the baby knows you, Fiya begins looking your face. Okay. Yeah, and they, they, they seem happy to help you out and watch the train. Okay. All right, then, I suppose it is with heavy heart. I think it is time to go collect what we need from the train and close up for the winter as it were.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Yeah. Book far. How do you feel about this? Nervous miss. Well, yes, that could be said about anything. Correct. She's sort of constant nervousness miss. Do you think you will miss it, the train? Yes, very much so miss. Is there anything that you'd like to bring book for?
Starting point is 00:47:33 Perhaps your pizza paddle. I was going to say if I'm with you miss some always on the train, but yes, I will take my pizza paddle. But yes, I will take my pizza paddle. Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, then I guess Fia goes back into her train, she gets the pizza paddle. I'm trying to look at my notes to see if there is a book I want to bring other than the ones I normally have. You definitely have like maps and stuff here, like geography books of like the outer burrow and things like that that you can grab to help you navigate the rivers and whatnot Yes, I do I will look for because I do have a series of atlases and maps
Starting point is 00:48:12 Yeah, they sometimes wander off and get bigger so I want to know and you've them have wandered back Give me a few luck check You're a luck check. 18. You see that not only as your atlas come back, it has gotten bigger. Wow. Ah, yes, your breath of knowledge grows. Are you going to introduce us? Oh, yes, here, it does not have a name or a voice.
Starting point is 00:48:42 It is just a book, but it sometimes wanders away and then comes back with new maps on it. Wow, an explorer! Yes, it is an explorer. I think I will also take my autobiography of Miro Slav the Mesmer. Okay. Just because I was halfway through it. So I've just got six books with me, this is nothing. So I've just got six books with me, this is nothing. And then I go to my humidor, which I have promised to leave. So I do not bring it, but I do open a little false bottom of the humidor to reveal two little trinkets that I wish to bring with me.
Starting point is 00:49:22 One is a little earring that has a little astrolabe on it that belonged to Betidl. And then another is just a little chain that wants hung from a necklace. And I just take that, put it in. And then I think I have everything that I... I look at the bookshelf, I say, take care of yourself, everybody. Everybody get along while I am gone.
Starting point is 00:49:43 You hear them go, will be good, miss. I can't believe they were watching me sleep. And then I leave and I don't lock the door. Sweet. All right guys. I think that's everything I need. Yes. Yeah, you know, I think I'm old hat skipping town.
Starting point is 00:50:04 So. Yes, usually I'm old hat at Skippin' Town. So... Yes, you turn out in light. Usually, usually I'm headed out by myself, but it feels... It feels alright to be... to be hit in the road with some friends. Maybe... Maybe my luck won't run out this time. I think your luck looks as though it's a... turning over and leaving.
Starting point is 00:50:23 I like that. Yeah, Henry, I gotta say that normally when I would leave town, people were a lot more angry at me than they are here. So, you run away from your problems too. What? Oh, what? You have not born in turncark.
Starting point is 00:50:38 You did not be born in Thorncark. You are not there. No, yeah, remember what we said about, like the truth session on the boat? Yeah, I've got a lot to talk about. You're not the... out of the little boat house and you set it on the river. There is a slug. If you're not nervous, it puts her boots on the boat. Very scared. It's definitely very steady. It's a slow but steady current heading west. And you guys pull your boat out.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Once you are on the water, Henry pulls down the sail. You guys feel a strong autumn breeze guides the boats. And for now at least, you don't need to row at all. This is a favorable wind here. And for the night, you're not even really going to use the map. It's a straight shot. You know that there's like a network of rivers through the under mountain empire. Many of them are man-made and they go through different, some of them are more popular kind of trade routes, other
Starting point is 00:51:48 require like smaller boats like this, but for now the only thing to do is to kind of follow the river and wait so you guys are here. You're on this boat, cool autumn night and you see the sprites are out in full force lighting the sky like little stars. Sprydle you want to go say hi? You see Sprite all whips up and joins a bunch of other sprites in the sky. Oh god they're gone. I mean they are kind of like light pollution, right? That kind of on the CD actual stars. Okay, I won't press the issue. And everyone dim for one second. And you guys also see, so you guys see, there's a cabin. You guys are lucky that the Fandros family had three people in it, same as your traveling party. You see that there are three single beds in here and a little desk to work at. It's a little cabin.
Starting point is 00:52:52 There's no like below deck area on this, but it's certainly a nice enough area. You see there is a little hatch below deck, and down there you do find some provisions. You find a bit of gold. You find like a little chest with some money in it. Nice. You find some like gold and silver that we won't deal with like the silver, the copper or anything. We'll say it amounts to about 150 gold. Is that the precise amount it takes to make a homunculus? I think it takes less than that, right? Only a hundred gold, yeah. There you go, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Yeah. So there's about 150 gold down here. You also see a few casks of wine and ale and a little bit of dried out food. This almost seems like kind of an emergency vessel for the Fennroses. Damn, look at all these stores, that's great. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Oh, this is not going to town on some dried apricots. Okay. You know what, fuck it. Let's not even ration that. Go ham on those things. Can I, is there like a little nightstand or something next to any of these pots? Yeah, you see there's like little ledges that are like near each one.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Cool. Can I slip the Ruby necklace into one? Yeah. Fiya, this looks like your cat over here. I was going to sleep on the deck under the stars. I love the sea over the moonlight. Okay, perfect. I put the Ruby necklace back in the pot. But I do need somewhere to put on my
Starting point is 00:54:25 books. So I put them all there. Oh, okay. I put the necklace back in. Mr. Henry, can I ask you, this is not your first time in the water? No, yeah. I grew up by the water and I actually, I was lucky enough to be not the first mate or the second mate, but the third mate on a ship on a ship a couple of years back. You see nothing but awe and fiosize. That's the level of respect I always thought I'd earn when I was third mate. It's true, you knew to duck your head when you went into the cabin and I just banged my head right up against the doorstep.
Starting point is 00:55:04 You bonked it. You bonked it, you bonked it bonked. It's also a little shorter than us, Mr. Sutter. That might be it. That might be it. Only a little. I didn't see book fire pipes up and he goes, Mr. Mr. Henry, where were you a third mate? Yes, did you see the ocean? Yeah, we used to work on a merchant ship out there in the capital. Wow, did you... What sort of letters did you have? Yeah, you know, anything that was a demand for, we shipped it because, you know, those oceans aren't very safe. Those are some of the best years of my life out there, out there on the open sea, in between horrors.
Starting point is 00:55:50 But... Ask why you decided to leave them. You know, it wasn't really entirely up to me. Sometimes, sometimes when the captain is like kind of a shithead, the, you know, all the sailors, all the workers, Sometimes when the captain is like kind of a shithead You know all the sailors all the workers. We there's a little bit of a mutiny as it were where they turn on the captain and sometimes Everyone instead of turning on the captain turns on Henry and that's vaguely what happened There is a Henry on every boat. It does, it just me.
Starting point is 00:56:25 Everybody, yeah. Why did they turn on you, sir? Well, originally they were turning on the captain, and I thought it was my duty as the first mate to let the captain roll. They were the third mate, sir. The third mate, right? So the first mate was the mate that I wanted to be.
Starting point is 00:56:41 So I'm trying to climb this ladder here. So you went over a couple of people's heads. So I went over some people's heads, trying to earn my position, doing what was right, what you're supposed to do, when there's a mutiny, you're supposed to tell the captain, but then the captain, well, he kind of told on me because I was a little piss boy,
Starting point is 00:56:58 informant kind of thing. Did he make an example of you as a show of force? He made an example kind of everybody. He turned the whole entire crew out and then I thought that I'd be in good standing with them, but then he also turned me out for being a rat. And wasn't allowed on my ship, wasn't allowed with my crew. I don't really have anything going on. And so now you're the first mate of your own life. I never looked at it like that and I think I never will Mr. Henry I spend a lot of time with bats and rats and they're actually quite nice really
Starting point is 00:57:41 What are some of the rats best qualities? Well, they are very good at foraging. They're smart? They're smart. They'll eat you. They're fast, good at foraging, and they have an excellent poker face. Yeah, great play carriers, too. Yes, they are very good at transmitting messages and plagues.
Starting point is 00:58:00 You hear bookfire pipes up. Mr. Henry, is your son in the capital? No, my boy lives over in West precinct in Sirenlock. That was where I ended up after I, what's a nicer word than saying, ran away from the capital. Chase? Chase out of town? When I was chased out of town. Yeah, sure. That isn't exactly nicer, but yeah, that is what happened.
Starting point is 00:58:28 I was chased out of the capital. I wound up in Sirenlock where I had my boy. May I ask you a question? You may not answer if you don't wish to. By what means, what are you separated from your son? well, I first met Izzy when When I got my job working at the docks over there by the lake My wife is a bell or my ex wife is a bell or my never was my wife because the marriage was erased from
Starting point is 00:59:01 You have a never wife a never wife. Yeah. I see. You know, I think she was rebelling against her dad or dad was my boss and he didn't like her like in me so that made her like me a little bit more and eventually maybe she just started to believe him that I was a piece of shit and she was always being chased by this noble guy and eventually he must have won her over, I'm not sure how, but the upshot is that I lost there and I lost my boy. Zirk isn't really sure how to respond to this level of emotional discourse, so he just heats up some stones and puts them on Henry's back. That feels good.
Starting point is 00:59:46 Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Let it out. But look, that's, I'm talking too much. I'm yapping like an idiot. Uh, what about you guys? Yes, Mr. Zerr. Why did you... Why did you get chased out of Aetan and wherever you were before you were here? Well... I've... kind of been all over.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Before I was in Thorncirk, I used to travel with my mom. She was kind of a... Well, medicine woman isn't exactly the right term. More of a snake oil salesman? Snakes have oil? Ah, I love snake oil. It's so good for your cuticles. Oh, yeah, it's great for that, but not so much good for any other purpose. Yeah, she would basically sell bum potions from town to town in the outer and inner burrows,
Starting point is 01:00:35 and I would help her. And then, you know, we went to one town and we were one town and we were hawking this all cure elixir and went a little worse than it normally does. I still don't really know. Normally the potions don't have too much of an effect at all, they just kind of make you feel good. They've got a little bit of heroin or cocaine and they're just like pep you up just a little bit. Just a little bit, just a little bit a lot. Just a little bit. You have tried cocaine in heroin, you never tell us? I mean, no, I mean, we never tried the product. I mean, my mom made me try it once,
Starting point is 01:01:14 but just once, and that's all I had. That's all I had. Dude, heroin with your mom, and you only tell us about it. You didn't have a better one time, you didn't have a better one. You don't have a better one. You don't have a better one. But you're not telling us these kind of stuff. That's what this is all about. You know what? I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all.
Starting point is 01:01:26 I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all.
Starting point is 01:01:34 I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all.
Starting point is 01:01:42 I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm gonna get a lot of time in the middle of it all. I'm There's just one town out of a thousand, and the more towns we went to, the more I started to realize what we were doing and how wrong it was, and I thought, maybe I can fix this, maybe I can actually make the potion work. And I don't know if it was something I did, something I put in it that changed the Alcura elixir, or if it was something my mom did, but a lot of people got sick. I don't really know what happened after that, because we fled.
Starting point is 01:02:10 And that's just something I've lived with and something I'm always gonna have to live with. How long ago did that happen? Long enough ago that I should have known better. You haven't seen your mom since then? No. But was the last thing that you say to her? Did you tell her you were leaving? I told her I hope that she can find a way to be better,
Starting point is 01:02:37 because that's what I'm leaving to do. Well, Mr. Zirk, I have... I have witnessed you helping many seeking and hurt people already and I have known you for but... mmmm... I beg your hand full of days. Two weeks notice. I've known you for a two weeks notice.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Not even! We are... It's cruel. We're not even. So, I think that you are... using to be balancing the scales to borrow a metaphor that I visioned out to borrow. I know what you mean.
Starting point is 01:03:10 You've done wonders for my lumbar issue. Thank you. Thank you, Henry. I gotta say when I'm with you, I feel a little less bad about myself and a little more inspired to help. So, you know, I think whatever we've got going on here, it's really working for me. I know you enjoy to be a coroner,
Starting point is 01:03:30 but I wonder if your talents are wasted on the dead, because I think you are good at preventing people from dying. Hmm. Yeah, mostly the coroner's job is just like, pumping out the blood and putting lipstick on people. And like, that's fine. That's fine, getting them ready for the blood and putting lipstick on people. And like, that's fine. That's fine, getting them ready for the funeral and whatnot.
Starting point is 01:03:49 But yeah, I do do that. I was going, Mr. Zirk, maybe it is forward, but sometimes will, sometimes will you get me ready for a funeral? Do you want me to like, put makeup on you while you sleep? What do you ask? And yeah, just to make up not the blood thing. You do not want to pump out your blood or anything
Starting point is 01:04:06 Leave my blood in but you could put lipstick on me and I could be like Book far pipes up maybe maybe he'll die before you miss because you're younger so why would you die miss? What I'm talking about dying. I'm not talking about dying I'm talking about like we are going to we are going to a bar and I've got my best book And I'm ready to go to the bar and make a Makeover me makeover moment you are gonna be dead. Oh, no, she just wants a sleepy makeover Yeah, she wants a slumber party makeover Wake up with a face of makeup. She wants a wakeover is what it is. A wakeover. I woke up like this,
Starting point is 01:04:45 hashtag. Well, I usually sleep for about four hours a night, so when I wake up, I'll be sure to give you a wakeover. Thank you so much, Mr. Cedric. Of course. I bat my lashes. Oh, I've got a lot of work to do. Henry, looks like your flask at your freshening. Yeah, and Fiya, it looks like you need a light down on that new cigar. Oh, yes, if you wouldn't mind, yes, yes. You want to tell us your story? We're all sharing. Yes, I can. I can, I mean what you want to know. I don't know what to tell you know I don't I don't know what
Starting point is 01:05:28 What tell you why don't we start the you want to start at the beginning because uh, you know, you don't often meet somebody that just lives in a couple trains How'd you uh, yeah, were you born in the trains? How'd you find your way to the train station? I was born in it down a village a bit away from this. I was born in it down a village, a bit away from this. I was actually a Reaper preacher's daughter. Whoa. Wow, thank you for the little preach. That smell like a whole now.
Starting point is 01:06:01 Starting to wake over early, I guess. I guess you could say, when I was born, it was at the expense of my mother's life, which please do not look at me with sad eyes for this, because you know, this is just... this is life, the greater tragedy is what I did to my father, I think, a radicalized team. So, he was the town preacher, and he was very, very stern because he wished for salvation. I thought for a long time he just wants to make sure that me and him and mother can meet each other again in paradise. And this is why he is so stern. But Van Neuver's young, I had a girl who best friend named Arena. And...
Starting point is 01:06:51 You mentioned her. Yes, she was... Well, she was very magical. She was not, you know, magical like me. She did not have to study practice, stick her nose in books, like I do. It just kind of flowed from her very effortlessly. In fact, when I knew her, I did not have a spell to my name really. I was not magical at all.
Starting point is 01:07:16 The most magical thing about me was her probably. And I knew I was very aware that this was not allowed with the Reaper, but it was so natural and right the way she did magic. So I didn't say anything and we didn't see it of course because you know it is magic. You cannot do this in a Reaper village, but one day, specifically the day that she made bookfarr here. Oh, way. Yes, the day that she made bookfarr, we had gone into the woods and I had a little journal to press flowers in and Irina stole it from me and ran around and I chased her and by the time I got the book back, it was bookfarr. Wow. And he was so silly and so nervous and so cute that I just...
Starting point is 01:08:10 I lost track of time. I did not hear the dinner bell. And so my father came out to find us in the woods and he saw the magic. And he thought it was... the work of the trickster. He was very angry and he grabbed me, he blamed it all on Arena and he said that she was cursed by the trickster and she would corrupt me and he said I was to go to a convent and she was to go to the scales. And I don't know what to say.
Starting point is 01:08:53 I am not a hero by any means, but I foolishly thought if I could send her in my place he would not put me in hers. So I smuggled her onto the carriage that was meant for me, and I gave her the most valuable thing I had so that she could buy freedom, and I thought that my father would not hold me to what he was going to do to Arena. to Arena. But I was wrong and my father was more than eager to see me take her place on the scales. So the place where you see Cib yesterday I was there once with my father on the side, but in a twist of fate, a perfect moment of perfect timing somehow these witch but till the appeared or rather didn't appear because she was magical so she was invisible and she saved me from the scales and she visced me away to the train because it was her train.
Starting point is 01:10:07 It was not mine. It is her train. And the error she began to teach me magic. And I guess that is as much as I can say. That is everything I know. I'm not going to look at you with sad eyes as you requested. I am going to turn my head over this way and just see the bend in the river quickly. No, it is not sad because I am safe and Irina is somewhere and But he is alive and so they are all alive and even if we are all in danger we are all
Starting point is 01:10:51 eventually going to be safe. So it is not sad. The person you should pity is my father. You're right. Yes, because we right now are all on a boat, smoking cigars and drinking wine with our friends. And what could be nicer than that? This is... Nothing. This is the first time in a long time when I'm excited to be going somewhere new.
Starting point is 01:11:16 And I thought that... I thought Batilda had just left me out of boredom. I thought she was just a blade who just decided to leave me. But now I know she's maybe out there, and we can find her and get her back. Yeah, and you know, this is no small thing to me either. I've actually... I've never been the captain of my own boat before. So hey, maybe old me was right, and we are pretty close to breaking that old curse, huh? Wait, what curse? What curse? Right. Oh, I've Jesus, I forgot to tell you guys, when I, you have a pool, a sun and a curse. I have, I do have a curse. And you lead with hot plate.
Starting point is 01:11:59 Is there a hot plate on this thing? Is there a plug? I just need a three pronger. I mean, we can set something on fire and just kind of watch the fire. Mr Henry, what is this curse you speak of? You know, I am not entirely sure. But I do know that I saw a really, you know, decrepit old version of myself who said that we were close to breaking the curse. I saw a couple a couple of things I wish I didn't see. Me being a jackass across some of memories I have and some that I didn't remember, but I was definitely there if that makes any sense.
Starting point is 01:12:37 This is very interesting to me because I know two things. One, but till they told me that there is such thing as reincarnation. Two, I Tilda told me that there is such thing as reincarnation. Two, I work in a magic that deals with alternate timelines. I wonder which plagues you. Jesus, could it be both? Or supports you. I don't feel very supportive. You are starting to have a very good relationship with this other shadow self.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah, and I don't really have any magic that can divinate that, but I do have a nice under eye cream that can help you with those craggy lines you're experiencing. You're talking to me or Shank. Maybe we give this old version of Henry a makeover, and then he go away. Let's see. You can do it.
Starting point is 01:13:20 Shank appears out of the shadow and pops up and goes, hey, I don't really know anything about old Hank. Sometimes I just turn into a woman, I know different stuff, but me, I'm just, Shank. So we're dealing with upwards of three hanks, is what we're all seeing. Yes, I, so this is a different one. Okay, it's a Hank, it's a Hank trick for sure.
Starting point is 01:13:43 Wow. Wow, Shank, you get a potatoank trick for sure. Wow. Wow. Shank, you get a potato skim for that one, buddy. Okay, I'll get the lantern. Well, I guess let's be on the lookout for any more curse signs. If you have any flashbacks, I guess you know what? A lot of people keep a dream journal. Maybe you could keep a curse journal.
Starting point is 01:14:03 Hmm, a flashback journal. Mr. Henry, I also, I am beginning a journey of dealing with time a little more. And I will keep a lookout in my books when they give me access to their knowledge. Okay, yeah, that'd be helpful. I don't know, but I will turn up, and also my books are quite hostile. Here fill up, pipe up and go, I'm not telling you shits! Okay, that's what you say now, then you beg to be read! You don't even want to read me! I will keep an eye out for you and maybe on this river we will find some place that we can talk to someone who knows something about this.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Yeah, okay. Tonkirk is very small and elder mourners very big. And there's a lot of cookie shit going on all over the place here. We can probably find someone that knows a little more. That all, yeah, that all sounds good. But you know, now that I think about it, this boat probably doesn't need a cursed captain.
Starting point is 01:14:59 So maybe I should be like, you know, first mate, the second mate, third mate, even. I'd be happy with any of that. I like my captain's cuttersd. Maybe we should all be third mate. That way there's no chance of a mutiny. I put my hand on Zerg's shoulder. That's true.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Yeah. Even if anyone is the captain. No more mutiny, is that? Or maybe Bukfar should be the captain. I don't care with that. Because then if we have a mutiny, we're all on the same side, and I can just resummon him when we're not at him anymore. And it'd be weird to have more than three-third mates I think.
Starting point is 01:15:36 That's true. Bookfar, would you like to be the captain? You're here, Quiver, in his voice. Yes, miss. I salute Bookvar. I go to work on making a tiny little hat for Bookvar. You see, it's got a little anchor right on there. Bookvar flaps up into the sky just above you guys and he goes,
Starting point is 01:15:59 okay, crew, to Innerboro. To Innerboro. I put my hands on the helm. And the Chuchu crew. Now... Now the river boat crew. The boat buds. With Fiya smoking so many cigars,
Starting point is 01:16:15 you'd swear it was a steamboat. The three of you. The three third mates travel along the river as the sprites light the sky and you are off on your next adventure. And that is where we will end our session. Oh, baby. Eldermore, tell us your secrets. Oh, what a sweet one. My goodness. That was a real cute one. What a sweet one. My goodness. That was a real cute one. What a sweet ending.
Starting point is 01:16:46 I feel warm. Thank you all so much for listening. You can listen to us talk about this sweet little episode over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash nad pod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d don't sing. Yeah. We all do. We all do. I didn't even know.
Starting point is 01:17:01 I'm sorry you glitched out. I didn't hear. And yeah, does anybody have anything to plug? I would like to plug peace and good will towards all men. There we go. That's nice. And we're in the pool. And inclusive.
Starting point is 01:17:13 And inclusive. Good will towards everyone. There we go. We will be back next week. We're going to be doing another Tonkikong holiday special against my best judgment. That's good will. that is good will forever. So this is goodbye to the Elder Morn crew for now, but we have some exciting announcements
Starting point is 01:17:32 about Elder Morn in the coming weeks. Maybe some fun stuff coming up. So be on the lookout for that. Maybe, unless you don't want them. Unless you don't want them. Unless you don't want them. Yeah, that's always an option. Yeah, I don't like it, but it's an option. Yeah, I don't like it. It's an option
Starting point is 01:17:49 It's a sad option. You can follow us on Twitter at CHMurf is me at called these called well AdiEx for it is Emily and at chaker which is Jake and you can tweet about the show using everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeff Reyes, Haldor Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. The barren's personal team of horse groomers, no one else in all of Elder Morn knows how to give a horse a pedicure, mostly because they've never tried, but still it's pretty impressive. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Gybe G, Zolo Dolo, and Dylan B, recipients of Zirk and Fias, Frank Raven messages. Currently all of them are writing back to let the crew know that there are no see more butts at their respective addresses.
Starting point is 01:18:48 Shoebert the mushroom, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, and Scott D. New Rooks recruited by Sibb for their all-new crime organization. Scott D suggested they call themselves the Rookies and promptly received a warning stab from Sibb. Danny P, Elena C, McSoulogist Michael McD, and Boundersboy, Randall, the werewolf's extended family who promptly moved into Fia's train as soon as Randall got the all clear. They all collectively clogged the toilet and bathtub within 15 minutes of their arrival. Andrew B, Justin I, TJM the No. Barbarian, Alaina M, Traylee the Cray-Fay and Jared E, River Bandits, who were planning on attacking the Chuchu crew, but were so touched by their heartfelt backstories that they decided to turn themselves in. Christopher B, Austin Bonesaw MR,
Starting point is 01:19:36 Damial R, cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt and Octolich, Agents of the Queen of the Undermount Empire, who had been dispatched to track down and destroy the foul tricksters who have been sending her prank ravens. Gage M. Scokilla, Destin C. Richardx Machina, Michael L. and Kelvin Noodles, local chefs who are currently engaged in a bidding war over the corpse of the Toadlamaks, whoever wins will rule the El Demorn Escargot Market for years to come. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya Stasequani, trust the traveler, Jorias Denaji, Kaila Mel, and Ryan, the Fergus fans, who are taking this one to heart.
Starting point is 01:20:15 They're currently split between exacting revenge in the name of their fave or just hopping on the Zirk bandwagon. Jack L. Flawless Whale, Temporal, Sam L. Nicholas C. and recent S. The Shadow Players, a troop of shank like shadows that put on Shadowplays, no campfire needed. Samuel B. Mike H. Matthew E. Colton B. and Adam G. Eldomorne's most popular beer sellers, they make all Fia's favorite stouts, but they also make a pale ale that is confusingly named Sprite. Mateo C. Nibagger.
Starting point is 01:20:47 Panama James. Adrian the Halfling Bard and John HN. Petty Jack's crew of friends. They aren't particularly excited that he's been released from the dungeons, because hanging out with Petty Jack often ends with his friends bursting into flames. Dan, Nikki W. Drew Nasty and C.C. Lulu. Sprite contract litigators, the scariest part about breaking a Sprite contract isn't the evil Sprites that come after you, it's their lawyers.
Starting point is 01:21:11 Jay, Barnes & Adder, Douglas A, Michelle O, the architects behind weddings by Whitlock, Madame Whitlock's post-crime career, turns out she's just going to harmlessly become a wedding planner. Ritterand, Timmy R, Lucas B, RNS, and Kevin M, the little fangs, an Elbermoren youth troop dedicated to starting Wizardry Young. These tweens can already throw fireballs if you can believe it. Austin C, Hawkfish is above average hog. New York, Steven C and KJ, Fergus's lifting buddies who will no doubt miss the intensity
Starting point is 01:21:43 he brought to the workouts, but will definitely not miss his shitty personality. Raoul N. Mike K. Maxwell C. and Nick L. Famous Dressaz jockey's known as the four horsemen of the pop and lock ellipse. They taught so as to everything he knows. Karen T. Eccathor 666 Justin Raccoon, Nick W, Michael C, Elderworn Hippies, who founded the Save the Toadlamax Foundation. They tried to save the horror from being used in Sib's execution ceremony, but in an ultimate act of irony, the Toadlamax ate them. As may am, Spartagnus, Nathan, the Kazimir, the All-Knowing, and Big Bad Beard of the Mad,
Starting point is 01:22:22 Thorn Kirk citizens who made elder people magazines, top 10 angriest bachelors in all of Thorn Kirk, with Ferguson's death they've all been bumped up a slot. Eric McD, Jack Meehawth, Burley T, Axel A, Nero, Claudius Caesar, Augustus Germannicus, and Christian A, the lifeguards at the party who neglected to warn the guests, not to jump in the pool while the cover is on, to be fair to them though they'd had a lot of port. J. Dragonborn, Jonathan O, the Sanjayan, Ben A, and Feldonis, a bunch of partiers at the
Starting point is 01:22:55 Baron's Keep who also stole a set of keys, and fell asleep in the riverboats cargo hold, boy are they gonna be surprised when they wake up. Dave H. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Keith K. and Brittany B. A crew of pirates with no captain, they're all sixth mate and every decision is voted on, including whether or not to shit off the side of the ship. Kyle H. Emilio D. Frankie Koala. Big Bad John. Aston S. And Blair, the bug Blair Barbar Blarion, all received some drunken raven scrolls, most ignored the scribbly U-Up text but Frankie at least responded, New Bird, Houdus. Punk Chop, Chanel M, Argent, Alice, Menette F, and Pat L, pool cover repair people who really shouldn't be able to make a living entirely on the Baron's pool cover, but somehow people
Starting point is 01:23:44 just keep destroying it. Lauren H. Janina E. Maddie Y. The eldest Barry and Ryan S. S. S. Scampie's old crew. They're all pretty thankful the ship was stolen because they had to do a lot of maintenance on that boat considering how many dancing horses were always trotting on board. The Bone Duster, Joshua H. Robert, CRSP, Idrisil, and Brent Lee C, books feel left in her bookshelf. They're slightly offended, but at the same time, the train car is so cozy and they're kind of happy to get to live with a super cute werewolf cub.
Starting point is 01:24:15 Micah B, Carly Ann, Clark of the Thunderfuck's, Jorge C, and Connor Savage, Zerks replacements who are totally left in a lurch since there's no one there to train them, just a note that says you've got this. B-Chef, Russell H, Christopher J.O., Cole, the Goldfish Gremlin, Logan S, and Benjamin SK, Glass, Willey's new coaches, they thought the kid might have promised but when they watched as he sprained his fingers while lacing up his boots and now they know they're fucked. Leviathan, Dimae A, Bioquart 7, Remington CD, Mike R, and Everett P, Madam Wintlocks only remaining goons. Little does she know that Dimae A just ordered their own parasol and is fully planning
Starting point is 01:24:57 on taking over God's speed. Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon Patreon.com slash NAD pod to listen to our after show. In the meantime, thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course all of our benevolent council of elders. We'll catch you all next time. That was a Hate Gum podcast.

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