Not Another D&D Podcast - Election Day Mixed Bag Mixtape - D&D Court I-III

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

Fellow Americans, please vote today if you haven't already! You can find your polling place at https://www.headcount.org/. We're releasing 3 episodes of D&D Court from our Patreon to the main feed so you can bring us along with you! Dungeon Bailiff Jake brings audience-submitted cases to Supreme Crit Justices Murph, Emily, and Caldwell who hand down harsh sentences.Time Codes:Short Rest D&D Court - (00:00:36)Mixed Bag of Holding: D&D Court (Part II) - Oops All Edgelords! - (00:51:58)Mixed Bag of Holding: D&D Court (Teleportation Helmets, Grumbly DMs, & Cluckgane Bowl) - (1:47:30)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, Murph here. We are releasing this on November 3rd, 2020, Election Day in the US. We strongly urge our fellow Americans to vote if you haven't already, and we'd like to give you some content to bring along with you to your polling place. We are releasing three episodes of our D&D court series from the Patreon. Dungeon Baylor Jake brings us cases from the audience, and me, Emily, and Caldwell, are the Supreme Crit Justices who hand down the sentences I'll put the time codes in the episode summary in case you want to skip around So get out and vote. We're here with you. Court is now in session

Welcome to mix bag a holding everybody Totally almost forgot what we do here We stutter our way in it's been a month it's been a month Maybe we should just start going Ready ready everybody let's get let's do it again. Welcome to Mix Bag, a holding everybody. Mix Bag. That's a good mix bag. Taste like bonus content of me. Okay, this month we're doing D&D courts.

We had people submit their cases to our patrons. Patrion and we're going to make some decisions. We are the judge, jury, and executioner, you will be executed if we decide, sorry, that you were wrong. I beg you not to do it. Yep, but we simply have to. We have broad powers to do that. But I think Jake is sort of our...

I guess it... Yeah, the bailiff. Jake, you've got the the cases here and he's going to bring them up. And then I think we'll vote. And we have an even amount of people. So this is the worst kind of vote. So sometimes it's going to be time. I'm the kind of person who will just ruin it. Who will just split a vote? Who will save my vote for last? And then just split it if there's a Terrible we'll have to do rolloffs in that democracy is just that's cool sides are represent We'll send it to a rolloff really good

Emily is the New York Times You're viewing Trump supporters for now. It was very I'm sorry guys op ed Sweet Jake why don't you take it away and read our first case? You're being Trump supporters for now. It was very, very, very, very I play a kickass half-orc pirate who is a druid of the shepherd. My DM and I. I'm already gonna have a man. That's not daily. We gotta be in the middle of the game.

Kaylee, you did nothing wrong. Emily, sorry. Emily, I don't know what got animals for her. Order in the court. I will have order in this courtroom. My DM and I have gotten into many, many debates about the spell conjure animals. They state that because the spell description says the DM will have a list of possible animals that I do not get to choose which animals to summon and that the DM gets the choice. We've made a compromise where I'll roll on a random animal chart,

but I still firmly believe that nowhere on the wording of the spell does it say that the player can't choose what animal to summon. Okay, I have some strong, there's lots of conjuring spells. If it's fully on the, I like, I like the middle ground of rolling. If you're like, no, I don't want to give my players that power. I'm going to, I'll limit it, but at least let them roll because if you're like, no, I don't want to give my players that power. I'm going to I'll limit it, but at least let them roll because if you can't choose, then the DM can just be like, cool, you conjure elementals against this lava man. I'm sure you want to conjure ice elementals, but guess what? I'm going to say that you conjure fire elementals. You know, like too much power in the DM. Yes, I think technically the DM is right

that you're not supposed to be able to choose. Yes, I agree, that's what I'm saying. They are right, but. But it is kind of, it's not an overly powerful spell. So I do think that the rule of cool should out weigh that. You're here. Oh, okay. I like setting the precedent of rule of cool should out weigh that? You're here. Oh, okay.

I like setting the precedent of rule of cool. I do think the rule of cool should allow it. Is there a rule of cool clause? Because technically the DM is right. So just purely unbiased judge, I have to side with the DM here, but I do think that they're being a rob. Can I?

But I would also say though, because like if you're doing doing conjure animals, right, you could have a really super fun. If you're like, I want to conjure a bunch of animals, I've got health potion, I'm gonna do it at a high level. I haven't used conjure animals in a while, but I'm saying hypothetically,

you want to conjure some kind of birds, a flock of birds, you can send to health potions to the other people in your party because you've all been separated or something like that. That's a super fun, interesting move that if your DM is like, cool, you conjure, you conjure a burrowing rat. You're like, cool, I guess I will.

You can make that work. The rats could create a tunnel, and then they could like pour the potions into the tunnel, and then the potions would go underground through the tunnel, and then all of the players could slurp it from the ground. I could imagine this DM would definitely allow. Yeah, I think this DM seems super chill. Can I offer a split jury compromise?

Just perfectly down the middle. Just a real centrist solution to this problem. How about you get to roll, but the player gets to roll with advantage on a random table. So you get like two choices narrowed down. Oh, I love that. Is this, are we coming up with solutions? Are we just telling people if they're right or wrong? Because I think, I mean, I think that like telling people whether they're right or wrong isn't as helpful as maybe coming up with a fun solution. But it's really funny to just be like,

I'm so sorry, you're guilty. Yeah. And you are sentenced to death. It's very true. It's a merely executed actually. It is interesting because they clearly have spoken and they have come up with some kind. They've landed on a great compromise. I think they've had a compromise. I come up with some kind of great compromise.

I think they're not a great compromise, but I do think Caldwell's tweak to compromise is really fun too. Well, you know, like the Supreme Court will often just kick stuff back down to the lower courts. Like, we don't even have to decide here. We can just kind of be like, that's working. No decision. I'm going to say, yeah, I'm going to,, I'm gonna go ahead and make my ruling personally, and then everybody else can vote. My ruling is that the DM is a knob, but is right. Yeah, I mean, my ruling is that, yeah, rules elsewhere and the DM is right.

But, you know, that's something that like then, I would say, let's kick this up to a higher court to actually sort of debate. Is this the most hot action or is the high school where the judge jury and executioner called well Jake. I mean a lot of my Contemporaries will argue that you got to stick to the Constitution as it's written but myself Think that it is a more fluid document and will always support the rule of cool. I rule in favor of the player.

You have a hammer. I have a mini-tour. Follow as a hammer. I guarantee that sound did not come across as anything other than like you putting a drink down or something. All it did was make my dog very confused. So I'm not going to be using the hammer anymore. Jake, what is your ruling? Judge Herwood's abstains. Oh my God. Yeah. So I'm going to abstain too.

What? OK, me and Caldwell roll off. It's beautiful. I got a one. I got to grab my dice. Y'all talk, y'all debate. I'm curious to hear more information about this because they kind of already came to a compromise here. So, I'm wondering what was going on. I said that I think that the compromise is good.

Yeah. I think that like in an ideal world, not very many cases like this elevate themselves to our court. Like these things should be settled at the table. We are kind of like the final. This is our warm-up case. Right. Okay, I got a one. I rolled a 14. Okay, rule of 10.

Okay, rule of 10 for bail. So we have to execute. We have to execute their DM. For right, public no rules. And then also compromising. But by using the rule of cool, we have to do it in a really funny way. Okay.

We, in an ironic way, maybe we'll conjure very specific animals. I think we ask Kaylee what animals they want to conjure to. To eat them. To eat them. To eat them. Everyone is going to be, yes, if you are wrong, you get eaten by whatever animals, Kaylee conjures.

Okay. That is our promise. You will have your day in the Indie court. Our second case, may it please the court. The people versus a frightened spider. Okay. Matt B. writes, your honors, people of the court. I was DMing a party who were exploring a castle

that started flying. The castle was at an altitude of two miles around one 10,000 feet. The Druid, Emily already has decided to decide with the Druid. Okay, I decided with the Druid. The Druid decided to question a spider in the lobby of the castle. I said the spider was friendly but too panicked to be helpful as he was terrified at the castle being so high in the air. The party fiercely disagreed on this, arguing at length that a regular spider

would be too small to be concerned by the elevation of the castle. I argued that it was akin to witnessing firsthand your entire nation be lifted out of the earth into the sky, whilst not directly feeling it, it would likely alarm you. The party additionally stated that many spiders can live at altitudes of up to 30,000 feet.

I admitted that whilst this was true, this spider did not. Naturally, this minor disagreement ground the entire thing to a halt. So fair judges, who was in the right at what altitude would the average spider be scared? And does the fact that some spiders live high up mean they don't care about potentially falling to death? I'm going to actually say it with a DM because I think that they're, I think that if this spider originally lived at a way lower altitude, it would, it would likely have altitude sickness. And it would feel the change. And the altitude sickness would at least alert, even if it did not have the awareness to be like, my castle is up in the ground, the altitude sickness would be enough to say something's off something's wrong

Listen, that's a very good point But we do not even have to argue this. This is something that we can prove in real life I challenge you the player next time you go on an airplane to just bring a spider with you See if it freaks out My cats did not like being on an airplane. Yeah. Most animals that live on the ground are crazy about it. It's a bad time.

Yeah, completely sad with the DM here. This one is much more clean cut than the other one. First off, this spider could have a different personality. It's a magic world. Not all spiders have to be the same. This could be a scared spider. This could be a spider who's lighter as a title anxiety. Already. Yes, exactly.

This spider has a goddamn anxiety disorder and you are not respecting that. The players aren't respecting that. Can I give a suggestion that like they could have, like yes, okay, you can have a conversation with this spider. It will be puking the whole time well from the altitude sickness and a panic attack. Yes. Yeah, that spider's lungs are gonna be almost

like fully deflated. There's not enough air up there for that spider. The lungs are very tiny. Yes, I believe that all, like spiders just have a self preservation instinct. They have a fear of like their environment being changed. They probably, it's probably very sensitive to any goings on in the castle. Right. So I can imagine it being panicked at this.

And I guess I have to ask, when you use the speak with animal spell, you're not gifting intelligence to the animal you're speaking. No. So this is still just a normal very dumb spider. Yeah. So which is why like, if they could have had a conversation with the spider and the spider could have just been like, I'm scared. Ah, I'm scared. What's going on? I'm scared. At which point, maybe if you said like, oh, well, if you can like, stack on some kind of

like, comm emotions kind of thing on there, maybe you can get a little more information from it. Yeah, that's, I think that's the only argument you can make against a DM that makes a choice for a character is to be like, I tried to cast comm emotions and they said it still wouldn't calm down. Like that's kind of bullshit. But that spider, if the DM says this spider

has tiny sneakers on and loves to go to the gym and run around the track. And you just have to accept gym and run around the track. And you just have to accept that. The DM is right. That is what that fucking spider does. I don't care how dumb you think it is. In another campaign, I have a once a tone that lets me speak

with stones once a day. And yes, I make sure to use it every single day. And the stones know what they know. And I don't question whether or not they should know more. You know, like the DM decides what the stones know, and we just leave it at that. And the spider has anxiety. And I also have anxiety. So I said with the spider, yes. Yes. Okay. Given the spider a very tiny paper bag for the spider to blow in, I think maybe they could have solved this issue

But they just tried to argue with their DM instead. They could have roleplayed to calm that spider down There was there were ways to talk to that spider, but they they went out. They said it was not too I'm ready to do my judgment The DM is a hundred percent correct here. I'm for getting these players eaten by a bunch of fighters. Spiders. They should be eaten by spiders. Here, in here, on an airplane, I similarly weigh in that, um, that the biology of creatures in general is kind of up to the, uh, DM a bit because you are creating your own world. And if you say spiders

don't live at this altitude, or if you say spiders don't live at this altitude or this breed of spiders Doesn't live at this altitude. Yeah, that's just got to be the case Yeah, and in my personal experience, which is not it's not not a lot, you know spiders tend to be skittish So I would believe that a spider would be scared definitely Coldwell, do you roll with the other judges? Yes, this is a landslide. Then the decision unanimous Your entire table will be my Hope you find a new group who can commit to sort of a weekly thing They will I'm gonna roll the d8 see how many days they're gonna be left in the web before they're eating smart

Just one just one day hungry later quick and painful Just one just one day. Wow hungry. Later quick and painless or quick and painful. But yeah, agony curiosity wondering is this one day or not? And then I feel like 1000 finding out it's just one day. It'll feel like a lot of days. Our next hearing and may it please the court. It is time for the Eric Cocker decision. A case that we'll set the president for many a table.

Our plaintiff are plaintiff Alexander V writes in our home campaign. One PC has an Eric Cocker Monk with 25 AC and mobile. So he's very hard to pin down. 25 AC. Shaking my head already. Murphy shaking his head. I hate this. And in an encounter on a moving ship,

he had the banishment spell cast on him. We proceeded to get swamped by the pirates, so we all had to flee, except my character who died alone below deck. So all the pirates surrounded the spot where the Eric Acro was banished from. So when he came back, he would get swamped. But he argued that he would come back in the water behind the ship because the ship kept because the ship kept moving from where the banishment spell was. Oh, that's kind of cool. That's fun.

I have to look at this. That's fun. I think I kind of sat. Yeah, let me look at banishment. I, you know what? I'm gonna look it up, yeah. Players who play Eric Okra's are pains in the asses because they can fly.

Because they can fly at level one. I remember even for Onyx, as an Asimar, there's like a one Asimar that you get flight, I think. And I was like, I'm not gonna fucking fly all the time. Okay, banishment. The target reappears in the space it left or in the nearest unoccupied space. Okay, so they're technically correct. Here's my question though. Do you need to be within some sort of range for banish for your concentration on banishment to continue? Either way, in which case the, the shit.

Either way, they then they would have came back earlier. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten swamped as hard. Yeah. And they still would have come back. I think I kind of side with, it fucking kills me, but I side with the Eric Ocker. Yeah. I have to say like, where are I at the table

and this was presented to me? It's just like, it's a very fun solution. Like it is like true and logical, but also it's just like, oh yeah, you would just fall into the ocean. I mean, like, if the DM really wanted to kill the... Why does this DM, somebody died below dick. Why does this DM wanna fucking kill the whole below dick?

Is it so fun? I do like this DM though, being like, I'm gonna banish you and then wait for, have my people wait for you to come back. Like that seems very fun except this DM did not take into account the fact that the ship was moving. And if the ship moving was benefiting the DM

during the play anyways, if they were using that in some capacity, then they were already benefiting from that. They have to be truthful to that. Honorable Judge Murph Sides with the Aaricakra. You're here. Juris Prudis Emily Axford Sides with the Aaricakra. I think I might dissent.

Really? I may dissent. Why is that? Why is that? It depends to me. If this Eric Acro was standing on deck and fighting, I think the space that it was occupying was the wooden part of the deck of the ship

and it would return to that space. Like, if I'm driving across the country, I feel like my space is inside the car, not necessarily if I vanished, I would come back into the space that I was in. Well, I think the wording of it being space goes against that ruling. Like in space, it is like literally the space

within existence. And like that. Yeah, it's not like you choose a five foot, a five foot location on the floor or anything like that. Yeah, it's latitude and longitude. Imagine if you will that you are night crawler. Night crawler can teleport to an area that he can see.

I guess he can tell. Yeah, he can teleport somewhere that he can't see, but he's always afraid that he's gonna land in a wall or something. If you're seeing a car go by, you need to, I believe time it, you can't just, night crawler's not sitting there being like, I just want to be in the passenger seat. I think night crawler needs to be get to the correct space at the right time. Indeed. This is called the night crawler defense.

I, that has, the night crawler defense has moved me. Wow. To be perfectly. I'm beautiful. I also kind of, I mean, I think it's, I feel like that's why this game is fun is like coming up with like a little thing like that to save yourself or to save a friend. So, Zany Bullshit is truly one of the best parts of this game. This is also something that would not have worked if the player were not an Eric Akra. So I kind of like, I like that. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

I thought it was gonna be something about them like flying or something like that. It truly kills me to side with a player that plays in Eric Acra, but I must. Yeah, I think. I'm really sad that this person died alone below tech. Yeah, I wanna hear more about that. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I do think that the DM should reward this Eric Acca-cra for their ingenuity by giving them plus one to AC after this. Yeah, 25 to 26. Really? Plus one to AC and maybe some sort of ring that gives them an extra 20 feet of fly speed. Right. So, the DM has been outvoted. That means that they are to be flown 600 feet into the air by Eric Akra's and dropped into the ocean.

Wow. And there to be pecked to death by a bunch of other Eric Akra's. Yes, and they're waiting in the space for them. Godspeed, good luck. Our fourth case may, of course, please the court. Really? Geez, opening and closing arguments are thus. Caleb writes,

My friends and I have done a Zoom D&D session since lockdown began, and one of my friends has on several occasions eaten an entire rotisserie chicken during the game. I argue that it is a distraction. He argues because it's over the internet, the smell can't be a distraction. And it's fine. He's also claimed that as it is a medieval setting, it adds to the atmosphere. I 100% by ruling is that this dude rules. I don't know what the thing is yet. I think I rule. He sounds wrong, but he rules. Our DM has remained neutral, but at one point tried to polymorph him into a hen

during a fight, which makes me think she's on my side. One of our group says if it's a problem, we should ban all food from the session, but I think outlying innocent popcorn snacks and the odd micenike over this coquettin fiend is too far. Very clever. Okay, I know that we're. Who's Very clever. Okay, I know that we are.

Who is right and who is wrong? I know that we are focused on just saying who's right and who's wrong because Murph really likes that sort of black and white world. But like I would argue that perhaps there is a middle ground. But where the court I thought it. Perhaps there is a middle ground where you could ask them to mute their Microphone so that the sound of them Imagine if I was eating a fucking chicken right now like

Like you're looking at us again Imagine if I was just like breaking make you a little foley for the audience. Yeah. Oh I think you definitely always mute yourself if you're gonna be snacking. But it's actually on something so succulent. If I'm just chomp, like if I'm eating an entire animal, like this is a rotisserie chicken is an entire fucking animal. You might as well just be carving up a pig with an apple in its mouth. I think rotisserie chicken is, it's so delicious.

I love the idea. I'm like, my mouth is watering thinking about this. It's really good, but that, but so is a lot of things, like going down a water side to be fun. You shouldn't play D&D while you go down a water slide. I think aside from it being rude, it's not fair because you have a rotisserie chicken and the other people you're playing with do not

and they just have to watch you eat this delicious chicken. However, however, after the first or second time and you make it clear, it's a pattern. It is kind of on the shoulder of the other players to not get themselves a rotisserie chicken. True, true, true. You know, they can't exactly be like, well, I knew you were going to come with a rotisserie chicken. I could have, you know, ordered myself one, But I gotta say, this feels like it falls clearly into the player's responsibility, because this person has presented

a golden opportunity for rousing. Well, it sounds like they are making fun of them. A little bit, I think they could be going harder. Like, if... Yeah, I think they might be making fun of them in a way that's like, hey, we really want you to stop doing this, but they need to be making fun of them in a way that's like, you're a loser. You dropped your dice because you have greasy chicken fingers.

Oh, you're all the one. Maybe it's all the grease on your chicken fingers. Cluck, cluck. I'm sorry, your mouth was so full, queue a wilder respond you get hit with arrows everyone initiative now they got a sneak attack round I could see a big super I mean just imagine I come trying to think of a scene imagine the scene where moonshine is talking to pender greens and called us just eating a full chicken like ripping a leg That's unfair comparison though because home games are different than home games have serious moments too

Yes, they have serious moments, but like think of how much we eat in our home games We're just we don't eat grazing. I'm grazing is it isn't okay? That's true and one of our home games We I think you I think if you know what time the game is going to be, time your meal to happen when it's not, when you're not. Yeah, time your meal before, and then if you're like, hey, I get low blood sugar, find some less. I think even eating pizza or something, just like anything that you can pick up

and put down quick is good. Yeah, yeah. And what I did start taking is like, that and like ribs are probably the two worst things you can eat. I'm just like fucking zoom call multiple. It's really just licking stuff off fingers. If you need, if you need 10 napkins to eat your dinner, don't eat it. If there are mashed potatoes, if there are like sides to your dinner, don't eat it.

If you need a wet wipe, you should not be eating it during a dinner. The fact that the player defended it though by saying ads to the setting though, it just keeps making me want to defend them and argue for the argue for the mute. Climb ruling is that this dude absolutely rules, but he's wrong. Yeah, I side with the player. That is Judge Murphy. I think you gotta give it a three strike system where it's a baller move three times

and then it starts getting annoying. So I am gonna have to side against the player and with the submitter of this complaint. Yeah, I'm on the same side. That's the third chicken. The third chicken is a problem. Yeah, I think that the precedent is anything that you need more than five napkins for to eat,

you should not be doing it during your game. I'm gonna abstain. Oh my God, okay, that's fine. The rule it has been made this- It's precisely because this person argued that it adds to- It's a long-leaf. This dude is- It's a good one. This dude is, is to be, this dude is to be eaten by a giant chicken,

during an emotional scene. I also think to provide one last distraction. Oh, that's a good thing. That's a good thing that you, everyone else who's annoyed by it should just the next time that character is like having a scene that's like important to their character.

All of you take out the loudest food possible and just start loudly crunching. You can escalate this. Bring ribs to your next session. Bring ribs, all of you secretly have ribs and the second this person puts down their rotisserie chicken to do something important. You all just drown out whatever they're saying

with the sound of smacking your lips on some saucy ribs. I do think that we need to give this person a little bit of the benefit of the doubt. None of us have eaten a rotisserie chicken while playing D&D. I think next time we play, we've all got to get a rotisserie chicken or a vegetarian&D. I think next time we play, we've all got to get a rotisserie chicken or a vegetarian. I did eat a quarter chicken one time,

but usually for that home game, we just take a break and then we get back in. I think for us to fully understand this person's point of view, we all got to eat a rotisserie chicken on camera, see how we're feeling, see if we can like still get that emotional resonance that, oh, I would need a nap emotional resonance that that'll be... Oh, I would need a nap after that.

That'll be one of our Patreon stretch goals, okay? We... If we got, yeah, if we got up there, we'll do a livestream where we eat a rotisserie chicken and we're gonna do mines of fanned Delver while eating chicken. Okay, I guess we judged. The chicken eater will be killed. Yes, we'll be eaten by a giant chicken. Okay, did we, I guess we judged the chicken eater will be killed. Yes, we'll be eaten by a giant chicken. Yeah, mostly. Okay. We just trapped inside of a giant rotisserie

chicken. That seems terrifying. Forever. For, you know what, let's roll the D8, see how many monocostyle, eight years. Whoa, eight years. I sentenced you to eight years inside a rotisserie chicken. And the giblets are in there and everything. I like that. That's very Greek. That's very Greek punishment. Yeah. Yeah. Remant him to the chicken. Okay, our fifth case. May it please the court. Patrick A. Esquire representing himself in the case of the dwarf versus the DM. Patrick writes. So this was nearly, so this was years ago in 3.0, playing the beginning of a horror-themed campaign, the players were writing a stage coach through a vampiric forest when swarms of bats attacked them. The defendant was the group's

munchkin, who had created an utterly min-maxed dwarf with 20 plus strength and something like a minus 2 modifier to Dex. Don't even ask what his charisma modifier was. The plaintiff was me, the DM, who was so new to DMing, he didn't feel he could object. Defendant jumps on top of the cart with his grade acts and attacks the batsworn. plaintiff stressed, this was a bad idea,

but defendant insisted plaintiff then called for an acrobatics role to get up to the top of a moving stage coat. Stage coach, not hoisting at grade acts. To fight small flying rodents with a huge axe. Defendant rolls a natural one and Plaintiff decides the dwarf falls off the cart and is stuck in the spokes of the wheel. Every round he gets to roll the exteriority to try to get out from being dragged by the cart. Four rounds later, level three defendant dwarf expires from being dragged in the wheels

of a Crening Stagecoach. Defended insists to this day he should have rolled athletics with his strength modifier to climb the coach, plaintiff insists that it is an act of acrobatics to climb onto a moving cart. Please settle this for once and for all. I think you could have done athletics to get out of the wheel. Because you could hypothetically use athletics to try to break a spoke of a wheel to free yourself. What, wait, was he arguing?

That's not the question. Yeah, the question is, acrobatics are athletics to get to the top of the cart, right? Here's a strange thing. Is that the DM, I'm on the DM side for the main complaint, which is that if the DM says it's Acrobatics, it's Acrobatics, you agreed to it, you made the role. If you want to have that debate, have it before you make the role.

And if being a moving vehicle, you do need to be, the fact that it's a moving vehicle does make you kind of be like, oh, maybe that is more acrobatics. However, a heavily armored dwarf falling into the spokes of a wagon is crazy. They're not gonna fit a and b, if they were there, the wagon's not gonna move anymore. And thus, the dwarf is not gonna take any more damage. Oh ho ho, hear him. Clever turn about.

So the question is. I can see though, the heavily armored dwarf falling, breaking enough spokes to wedge himself in the wheel though, especially heavily armored, you're just gonna like, that's gonna be like an impact. Yeah, I think what would happen is the dwarf for it to fall off the cart onto the ground, bounce off of something, perhaps a large mushroom, and then be ricocheted back into the stage coach wheel, break enough spokes to get jammed in there, and then they're spinning around

every turn. Or presumably they fall off the roof of it. They're grabbing to try, they're grabbing at the stage coach to try to get back on and in doing so, their legs go through the spokes of the wheel. I think that the mushroom defense is maybe a little stronger than what you said. Makes a little more sense for there

to be a big springy mushroom, but that's a good idea too. I guess when I hear the phrase stuck in the spokes, I'm imagining them comically, actually, in the spokes rolling, but I suppose being stuck in the spokes could mean that your cloak gets stuck in the spokes and you're being dragged. Which I should use. Which I should use.

Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine.

Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. Which is fine. and make sense, but like if you're dragged by your cloak or something, that makes sense. It does kind of make sense though, because if you are plummeting down, either your shoe could get stuck in it or, you know, you could even have a shoelace. If you've got a shoelace stuck in the gears of a bike, I mean, if you do something like that and then the more, as the wheel continues to go, you get more wrapped up in it.

Okay, yeah. Well, the original question was, they argued about athletics or acrobatics. You have that debate before the role is not after your character dies. Right. By ruling, I side with the DM. Purely in like the space of hypothetical though, do you think that is an acrobatics or an athletics role? I would say because it is, because it's a moving vehicle,

like I think it's fair to weigh in and say, no, it has to be acrobatics, because yes, it does take strength to get up, but I think the moving aspect is enough for me to say, yeah. And then once you're up there, it's going to be about your center of balance. Climbing onto a moving stage coach, I think can be a feat of acrobatics or a feat of athleticism. But as Murf said, this is something that needs to be decided before the role.

I think after the role, the DM was too hard. There was no reason for the dwarf to be stuck in the spokes over and over and tell the dwarf. Well, I, I again say, I think I'm okay with being like, no, it has to be in acrobatics to get up on it. Even though like, I probably would have done athletics or acrobatics, but like, I'm okay with the, I think that the dwarf should have been able to use strength

to get out of being stuck in the wheel, because that for me feels definitely like you just need to slash yourself out and you know roll away. Yeah, yes. I think it sounds like we all agree that the that what's for debate or what they asked about is the DM was right though the DM yeah was when a little too long. I think the DM was being a bit of a little meany. Yeah, so we okay is that a unanimous ruling. I think the DM was being a bit of a little meany. Yeah, so we, okay, is that a unanimous ruling

in favor of the DM, but with the- I know, because I think I can't say that because I've had DMs that, you know, I've had characters that are really good at acrobatics and the DMs been a hard-ass and been like, no, this is gonna be athletics. Because the DM will let you know, they'll be like, athletics are acrobatics

because they want both the dexterous and strong people to be able to do it. But sometimes if you're like, I wanna do this and they're like, it's gonna be athletics, that's kinda them saying like, hey, this is gonna be harder. Like, I'm not gonna just softball this one for you. I think I gotta be okay with that. The DM also said that it was a bad idea essentially

and they still did it. If your DM gives you the wink wink and you still go ahead and do it, then you're taking fate into your own hands. Yeah, which is part of the fun sometimes, but yeah, yeah, I agree that if he had if he had successfully gotten up there, even just using athletics, it would have been dexterity to stay up there. Yeah, well, we side with the DM. The player is to be run over by a carriage. Wow. Wow. All right, this is a question that came up a lot. There's not a specific case, but I just thought we could have sort of

a public debate about it. Okay. Okay, let's see if we can troubleshoot. I'll use Seth's C's question because it is the briefest. Seth writes, I think one of my players are fudging his roles. Is there something I can do to keep him honest? And I think it's very prevalent. We actually got a question to this about this too, if I were you as well.

Over Zoom, it's a lot easier to fudge your roles. So that's a lot of it. Oh, that's so fucked up. First off, that makes me really sad to hear of anyone fudging their roles because I mean, I hope the dice punish you for life. Yeah. I wonder how you even tell if somebody's fudging their roles is just like they always roll well, I guess.

Yeah. It seems that's crazy. Yeah, I mean, I guess like sometimes you roll hot, but like other times you got I mean there is the thing like sometimes like when I get a Nat 20 like over zoom I feel like I need to prove it so I do roll in a place where usually I can then move my camera down to show it Yeah, there is like the feeling of like no, no, like I want people to know I really this this sounds convenient, but I swear to god I really, this, this sounds convenient, but I swear to God, I really got it. Um, there's also online, uh, dice rollers. I don't personally like those because, um, I just like to have a relationship with my time.

Yeah, I need that tactile feedback. Yeah. It is fun on real 20 though. You get a little bit of, you get like a sound feedback, uh, on real 20 if, when you roll on that, you can see a digital dice go across the screen. So that everyone can see that, right? Everyone can see that. Yeah.

I think that's what you should do, because that's like, you could also suggest that as just being more fun, because then everybody gets to see the number and react kind of like the way you do at a table. That's a great solution. And if you could get like the other people to get hyped about it,

then like it won't seem like you're singling this person out. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key.

I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key.

I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key. I think that's the key know if if somebody's fudging their roles then there's a good I remember I I saw Not too long ago somebody I don't remember which DM it was but somebody publicly tweeted something about this about like the problem of zoom DM games of D&D games and of people fudging roles and this person was like and of people fudging roles. And this person was like,

if people are feeling like they need to fudge their roles, it's because you're doing a challenging enough campaign. So it's fine. It's like not a big deal. Like if this person feels like they need to cheat, it's like, I don't know, let them cheat, I guess. But then you're not telling us good of a story. Yeah.

If someone's fudging their roles, then like it's not as intro, it's just not gonna be as interesting if they just pass everything all the time. Cause it's so much more fun when you do really well and then eat shit. Like it's definitely gonna be so fun. I'll say Trinivale, it was so fun to just start out awesome and then roll a one and a two on the Onyx's things and just fall like it was like

I was like yes, this is fun Yeah, it's like it you get more opportunities to come up with fun solutions when you let yourself fail Oh, that makes me so mad. Yeah, just try and get try and do in like an online Dice thing that like roll 20 where you're all seeing each other's rolls. And then you can even, I don't know, say it as, like, because you'll do it as the DM and... I think you can suggest it and not have it be about this one person and just let it be about the entire tables dynamic,

which I think can prove by doing it. Just make it an occasion. I know that on D20 y'all role in the box of doom, so if you have just a special role that you do on the floor talking to my dad. Oh yeah, that's true. You could be like, okay, this is an important role. Yeah.

It's like position your camera so we can see it. Yeah, let them see it. You could just let them keep fudging the bad roles. Or the roles that aren't as important, but if there is something that you're like, okay, let's take this seriously. Like you can start by doing that to a different player to introduce the idea that some moments are more, yeah.

That's true. You know what you can also do? And this is some little finger shit, is pretel. You either find like an article or something or something about like people fudging their roles or something like that and just share it with your crew. I feel like, is it this crazy that people do this?

Is it this fucked up? I genuinely think someone who fudges their roles like is not gonna be self-aware enough or they're just- They might be nervous. Mm-hmm. But the spotlight on those little lines. Find out.

They're just gonna be like, yeah, wow, that's so terrible. I really want to be good. Yeah. There's a very slight chance that they're stupid like I was when I started playing D&D and totally did their stats wrong. So. And they're adding their proficiency to things they shouldn't be adding it to.

So I guess check on that. If this is a skilled player, then that probably doesn't apply, but worth investigating. That type of problem would be rooted out in doing an online roller as well, because then that person would say. Yeah, then you see what they roll. Yeah, yeah. And then maybe, and Yeah, then you see what they roll. Yeah, and then maybe,

and that would be the best of both worlds, if you do it online and they're like, wait, no, I'd eat to that. You're like, well, you actually don't, that would be a helpful. I guess online rollers are kind of, like, I don't like them because I especially don't like them for a D20, but I don't mind them for like doing damage.

So like, I always roll my D20 like in person, but I use online rollers for like doing eldritch smites because I don't want to do that, Matt. Yeah. It's so much math. So you might like you might set up the system that also if you're doing like roll 20 or something you'd be like, hey, let's all do roll 20. I'm going to start playing music while we play or whatever. And then suddenly, then suddenly, it's like, oh, there's also like a dice tracker on here. That's pretty fun. It's crazy. Yeah, that is.

It's crazy. You can just roll your dice out in the open. You just roll your dice a little. Let's all do it all quick. Yeah. I think you do it as a whole game overhaul. I think that's the way to go. And then if they end up not fudging anymore,

reward them with a nice rotisserie chicken. You can post mates that right to their house. Stop the fudge for chicken. All right. Y'all mean good lord. The judges are spoken. And why don't we do one last case? Yes, please.

This one might be too quick, so tell me if you want to do another one after this. Maybe one or two. We'll do two. The horses versus the DM. Sorry, may it please the court. I meant to say that. Alex B writes, hi, we cast Pass Without Trace,

and our DM still made us roll with disadvantage because we were on horses. I believe that Pass Without Trace and our DM still made us roll with disadvantage because we were on horses I believe that pass without trace would include the horses and we should have been able to roll straight thanks I hope this can be settled This is yeah, let's look at the wording on that one available shadows and silence radiates from you masking you and your Companions it's just as companions in your companions, it's just as companions, doesn't say humanoids, for the duration, each creature you choose within 30 feet of you, again, creature, has plus 10 bonus to dexterity and can't be tracked except by magical means. A creature that receives this bonus

leaves behind no tracks or other traces of its passage. So I think that, I think that, there, I think the way I read that is, if you want to be a real hard ass, then also, then like the people roll, as long as it's under 10 creatures, the people roll, uh, get past without trace and the horses get it too. Yeah, they're a creature. I mean, as long as it's cast on the horse, on the horses, then they should have gotten past without trace. Although past,

meaning they would leave no tracks. And even if they're larger, I would have to look at horse stats if horse stats say they were all with disadvantage on stealth, maybe, but. I think there is a, in the DMs, I mean, or it might be the player's handbook, but depending on how fast you're traveling, sometimes you have to roll stealth and stuff with disadvantage.

Okay. Also, maybe it was how fast they were going. Yes. All right. If that's the case, then maybe I would... This is a tough one because if everybody has, there's nothing about password or trace that says whether you have advantage or disadvantage.

Yeah, absolutely. What you can, you absolutely can have password or trace and still get disadvantaged on a stealth role. That's totally legal. The question is just, what is it about the horses that made the DM say that? The only thing I can think of is that if the party is somewhat large, you could rule that a horse has twice as many legs as a humanoid. So that's going to be

a horse counts for two people because they basically got two sets of feet. Okay. So it could be a matter of- But if a party of four, then you could, one could argue that the horse, a party of four, everyone's on a horse, suddenly that becomes 12. Yeah, right. That's because it's on a horse, suddenly that becomes 12. Yeah, right. That's because it's all, it's extra footsteps as well. It's extra footsteps. I'm going to rule against type here.

Well, and I'm going to say that I agree with the player that I think if it's, if there's a veil of shadowy quietness, nobody should be rolling with disadvantage. The horses are creatures. It does not say target humanoids. It says creatures. This is a creature. I'm going to say those horses are in the it does not say target humanoids, it says creatures, it says a creature. Those horses are in the shadows. I'm going to start with the player, unless the DM was saying, okay, in the DM's guide,

if you're moving this fast, then you get disadvantage. If it was based on the speed, then that's okay with me. Okay, I think we're all with the player, at least I am. Yeah. Then you get disadvantage if it was a based on the speed then that's okay with me Okay, I think we're all with the player at least I am yeah, I'll abstain Yeah, maybe I'll abstain since I Only people who can vote can I vote three times? Yeah, you can I vote that you can I abstain except for from voting that you can vote three times wonderful I actually vote against the player now oh my god well since I have to give my vote to to Murph we are once again deadlocked I give another vote you can't keep getting votes now Murph and I am a sneak around the

woods and try to murder each other on horse horseback. Okay, so let's do our final case. Jillian of Midgard. Hey. He's bringing a case. Designed the Trinibels, he sure. Yeah, great artist. She brings a case against the DM. I was playing a character in the noble background and her family, mother and father,

was one of the main rulers of the country. Several noble families shared the job of running the country. My party and I needed to get from one coastal town to another, so I suggested that we travel on one of the ships my family owns. My fellow players and DM nearly turned the table over in indignation, and outrage, and to this day, several years later, teased me about my family's ships. Apparently, it was laughable and game-breaking that my character would have access to a ship. Yet, I unwaveringly maintain that my character, being a noble, would have some access to a ship.

If we didn't outright own one, we'd have merchant connections or something. Was I right to roleplay this resource into my character? Or are my best friends right to have shamed me for five years? One thing I'll say is that there is a sailor background. So the idea that you could be a noble but also has a ship. I mean that, you could be a noble but just not be good at sailing. If you're one of the rulers, one of the ruling families,

presumably you would have access to ships. Yeah, you'd have an Air Force one. I will say that the DM should, anytime somebody has a character and they're like, I'm the prince. It's like the DM needs to, in session zero, figure out why the prince does not have a body guard, does not have every power. Yes, exactly. That, that, that they can start at level one. So I agree with the DM that you don't want

characters to play nobles and just be like, I call upon the armies of the five kingdoms because my dad is the king and then that just solves the problem. So I think that's on the, it's not on Jillian to self censor their character, but I think it is on the DM to be like, yeah. I definitely think it's not laughable.

I think it's like, I think it's a fun thing to be like, oh, I bet my character has a ship. And if the DM says no, then you're like, okay, but I don't think, I think that was a smart instinct to be like, well, I'm one of families. Yeah, presumably I have access to a ship Yeah, all to knit is that it like I mean if you're the DM and one of your characters does that and it's like at the end of a session I don't know maybe be like yeah, okay Yeah, you have a ship and then you fucking wreck that ship

Yeah, I mean you have to imagine that they have to travel to get to that ship and by the time they get there Aku is taking place or the ship has been burned or taken over by pirates There's a lot of fun to put where they get on the ship and think everything's okay And then you put them in dangerous waters. That's true. Oh, I think that they were wrong to shame you and laugh at you Yeah, absolutely. I don't think it was a role-playing mistake I think that it was an honest, an honest stumble if that at all and it should have been always. I think it wasn't a stumble. I think it was clever. I think it was clever to bring up the option and okay for the DM to say, no.

I think the only people that are wrong are the other players who treated you like that was a success. They're not invited on your boat. They're not invited on your boat. Yeah. They're not invited on your boat. They're punishment. Shelby, to get kicked off a boat. Okay. You need a special session. Also, the idea, if another thing is like, if you're DM and someone's like,

I have a ship, I'm a noble. And you're like, okay. And you let them do it. And you have time in between sessions to plan. You could also be like, cool. A bunch of people have never sailed a ship, gone on a ship now. What are you gonna do?

I bet you had noble servants before to sail the ship for you. What do you know about sailing ships? Do you have enough money on you to pay a crew? Right now on your person? What's jibbing? Tell me right now. Ty not. Yeah, I think that, and I can understand where the DM might be coming from with this. Not so much to other players, but like it's so easy to get flustered when you're DMing and to like just shut someone down as opposed to like trying to find a solution because it's

just natural to be like, oh fuck, I didn't prepare for this. Oh, I think the DM, I'm totally, I'm on Gillian and the DM side, just not the other players. Yeah. It's okay for the other characters to make fun of you for being rich, I think the DM I'm totally I'm on Jillian and the DM side just not the other players. Yeah, it's okay for the other characters to make fun of you for being rich, but not the actual players who are your friends in real life. All right, that seems clear cut. There are there. I think we all we all side with Jillian in no small part because they designed the. Awesome 80s. Trinityville.irt. In all some 80s Trini-Vail T-Shirt. Yes. So I guess the greatest ruling here,

the final verdict is, a bribus. Yes. And we are extremely proud to bribe us with art and we will rule in your favor. And you can play it for your DM. bribers with art and be a druid and you'll be fine. Ha!

That's not true. I didn't. I did not side with the Druid who believed that a spider flung into the sky. We all completely at peace with it. You're right, and we also sided with an Eric Okras. So this is the Kangaroo court. Wow, this is insane. Thank you guys for the law. Thank you guys for the law.

All right, thank you to everybody who submitted questions. I see, called those got a gavel over there. Let's bang it, because a gavolo over there. Let's bang it, because court is adjourned. Nice. Yay! Bye. bag a holding everybody. Mixed bag. Now that's a little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little,

little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little

little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, It was met with thundering approval. Every time I love it, they can't get enough of it. We just go to this. We had a boat, we called a focus group together. Some of the greatest minds.

Showed them episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, and actually that's all we tested for. Wow. So we did. It has a problem with his parents, tell you what. Show came out a long time ago. I don't know why we focused tested Everybody Loves Raymond, but we did.

And it cost us thousands of dollars to get the rights to show Raymond's to a big group of people. But when Deborah pulled out those tasty, delicious treats that she likes to bake for Raymond, everyone did go, mmm, spoilers for every single one of Raymond on this one. Classic, classic, classic, Debra behavior. Cooking delicious treats. I did not know that Raymond was married to a Deborah. He's definitely married. Deborah. He's never married to Deborah.

I don't think she cooked some treats though. I think they, I don't know anything about it. Things are a little spicy. I think Deborah's cooked Raymond at least one treat. She's definitely, shout out in the comments if you know whether or not Debra has cooked Raymond a treat. You know what? I think it's fucking 2020. Really, shout out in the comments if you know whether or not Debra has cooked Raymond a treat. You know what?

I think it's fucking 2020. Raymond should cook Debra a treat. That's right. Thank you. Oh. Oh. Sorry. I'm a Debra Nist.

Wow, dude. How about, here's a new, here's a new pitch for 2020. Everyone respects Debra as a show. Thanks. Wow. Thank you. I wouldn't, you know what? I would show it the same respect I showed everybody loves Raymond,

which means I won't watch it. Yeah. We encourage you not to watch, but you got to respect it anyway. Funnily talking about it. Respect it's staying power. You don't have to watch. Yeah. Anything that can run for 12 seasons or whatever the

fuck that show ran you got a you simply had to respect Deborah yeah and we do it. Three minutes of everybody loves Raymond. Did you start your day knowing this would happen? No subscribe for. This is this is what the people are here for. The bag is mixed. The bag is mixed. Yes, so we had originally done an episode of D&D Court that we thought we were going to do as the mixed bag, but we had so many good questions. We had a lot of good cases. So we figured we would just do two. So we posted one in the short rest feed.

Also, we're going to hear more of Jake saying, what did you say if it pleases the court? Please, the court. Yeah, please the court, that's right. So I think let's maybe cut over to Baylif Herwitz and get right back into it. Cool. Here, here. Once again, here you, here you.

Dean, the court is now in session. The honorable judges Murphy, Oxford Tanner, and Herwitz presiding. Hazal, do you have your with presiding. How's that? Do you have your hammer, Coltwell? It's on my bookshelf, should I get it? No, it's on my phone. Just break it.

Just make your phone. It's a visual just for us and a small thought at home. Coltwell, bang the gavle, please. It's going to make my dog bark, but OK. OK, very good. Perfect. Oh, OK.. Okay, very good. She's so agitated. Ladies and gentlemen, may it please the court?

Emma H. writes, I was told I was metagaming by another character in session because my outlander Woodsmann character was worried a magical circle of mushrooms we encountered in the forest was a quote fairy circle. The character called me out for metagaming while still in character and I had no idea how to respond. It was my absolute first time playing D&D ever in my life and I had never met anyone in the group besides my one friend who invited me. They never asked me to play with them again to this day.

I don't really understand what metagaming is and I'm terrified of doing it. You were bullied. Yeah. I mean, I think that that seems... I can't speak to whatever happened in the rest of the session, but seeing a circle of mushrooms and wondering if it's a fairy circle, first off, literally anyone from any background could wonder that. There's no reason your character wouldn't associate, you're in a mythological world, but especially in Outlander, terrain is supposed to be your fucking shit.

This person must have been having a very bad day to call you out on such nonsense. Very circles are real. They exist in the real world. It's just when mushrooms are a circle. Like you can know that, that's not Medicaid. Yeah, not only are you correct and it's fine, but you were bullied and I'm gonna kick this person's ass. Yeah, I'm gonna go.

Honestly, that is plus them for not calling you back because you shouldn't be playing with this. Yeah, I'm also so back with by the fact that it was like a fellow player like that you're like, oh, maybe it's a fairy circle. And then your fellow player is like, hey, actually, I don't really want more information about the world. Can we please interact with this object as if we've never met a mushroom before? Yeah.

And will you guys tell me what meta gaming is? Because I don't fully understand. It's like talking about the rules of the game and character, right? So yeah, meta gaming is like not just talking about the rules of the game, but it would be like, let's say there's a scene where moonshine is talking to hard one.

And Bev is in another tower, you guys are in a castle or something. And then when we cut over to Bev, Bev acts with like the knowledge that like moonshine and hard one have. Which like, sometimes we accidentally do, but other times when like the stakes are higher, we don't do it. You know, like when moonshine had her scene with Pender Greens, you guys were just like, you guys weren't like, can I roll an insight to see if something's up with Munchine?

Yeah, yeah. Can I make sure she doesn't go to hell, please? Yes, exactly. Can I make Munchine's pocket? I've never done this before, but for some reason now, I'm just trustful of her and I'm gonna try and read her mind. Can I check her or see if that's not a gaming? That is what meta gaming is, would be like,

if Bevin' Hard won, we're like, I wanna talk to the sword, Pendergreens, and see if Moonshine's been there lately. Except my first time talking to the sword. Yeah, exactly. I think it's, it also gets associated with, like, I think it's a really confusing thing for me because like, when you make,

like, I know that I got accused of metagaming for taking a level of barbarian as moonshine because people were like oh you're like trying to make your character better. But I'm really I'm kind of baffled by me right. Sorry I have a problem with Emily's character being good. I am. Why did you roll for HP? You should have just been a suck ass and died, Robert.

But it was also like, I mean, I think that like, you know, like I feel like that was a move that I felt like I earned by like making a moonshine really into Apple Scrumper. But on the other hand, isn't it fun to make a cool mechanical build? So I don't totally understand. I don't totally understand people's, a lot of people who complain about like, oh, this is a really well-built character, and I'm mad. Complaints about metagaming are a lot like complaints about railroading. Yeah. Yeah. It's basically like like there's a 10% of the complaints

that are valid and it's no fun to completely have your handheld and be railroaded and it's no fun to have people acting with information that they should know. But 90% of the time it's just people being mean. Yeah. Just having a bad attitude. Yeah, because it's like, a lot of it is.

It is a fucking game, right? And like, we are people. We're not just the characters. So like, you will do things that are cool to, like, I will do things as characters that I as Murphy, like, I'm doing this because it's fucking cool because it makes me happy. You know what I mean?

So like, is that, is that metagaming? I don't know. Or that me just having a good fucking time. Yeah, I'm having a good time. I'm having a good goddamn time. I'll tell you what metagaming is. It's having a good goddamn time, baby. I agree.

I can't find a good time. If I see someone on the street like whistling or like skipping, I'll be like, quit fucking metagaming. Be sad. Why are you fucking whistling? You should be walking through your head down. Whenever I see someone bring their own bags to the grocery store, I'm like, quit metagaming. Like, yeah, you just fucking saved like what, 30 cents?

You're fucking metagaming. You're touching the abacados to try and find a good one. Quit fucking metagaming. But also like, yeah, so if this, if you would consider this situation where this person is like seeing a fairy circle, and like if you would consider this medigaming, which I wouldn't really, because like the Feywild

is a real thing, like there are, these characters might know these things, and things are inherently magical. But even if it were the player being like, whoa, cool, fairies, I wanna go meet some fairies, But even if it were the player being like, whoa, cool, fairies, I wanna go meet some fairies, there's nothing wrong with that, it's a fucking game. Like, look at these fairies. Let the, like,

I think it could be considered not fun metagaming if like the DM is setting up something that like your character should do, but isn't like necessarily advantageous and like kind of, you know, like if a situation totally is like, yes, this is what my character would do, but isn't necessarily advantageous. And if a situation totally is like, yes, this is what my character would do. But then you're just like, nah. Right.

I go home and I go to sleep. Right. Medigaming to not have fun. That's the crime. Yeah. That kind of stands in the way of the story being interesting, maybe. I think if the player had been like, oh, a fairy circle um I hold some blood under my tongue and put some sprigs of spruce under each of my armpits

so that I am immune to all fairies if like yeah if the response was to kind of like use knowledge that existed outside of the game to kind of game a situation but I think just like being amped that there's a fairy circle there is definitely fine. Yeah, also. I wouldn't be mad even if it was like, oh, if someone was playing a hex blade warlock who hadn't settled on the, with like the packed weapon, you know, we can like, summon different packed weapons. I didn't really do that with Onyx, but like, there is an aspect that you can summon different packed weapons until you settle on one.

And like, if a hex blade warlock had been like, oh, like, if the hex blade warlock had been like, oh, like, if the hex blade warlock had been like, oh, could be fairies, I'm gonna summon an iron weapon. I think that almost seems like a fun, that seems like a fun use of information. Yeah. Rather than like, I don't know. It's the medicaming me is complicated.

This all just seems fun. I think where unanimous here, my judge really is I'm a saver. I'm with you. This is not metagaming. Even if it was metagaming, it seems like fun metagaming. And maybe they were just kind of a boring group. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe you were bringing some creativity and they were like, uh, also shout out to Emma who I think listens to our podcast from like the mountain tops on like these really long trail runs. So hell yeah, beautiful.

That's so cool. You should throw these goddamn players off one of your mountains. Yeah. That is you know what these players should take the hike. Yeah, they take a hike. They have been banished to take a hike. That is their sentence. And I don't happen you enjoy a bad hike.

No view at the end. They need to go in a separate trail from you and they're not allowed to met a game. So they't know how to do you enjoy. Yeah, a bad hike. No view at the end. They need to go in a separate trail from you and they're not allowed to metagame. So they're not allowed to have a map because that's not real hiking. So we need to drop them off in the middle of the woods and they can't metagame. No iminims in their trail.

No looking at a map, no packing. Yeah, that's cool. That's metagaming. That's metagaming. Don't do that. So we send her some to a really long tide with no food, the next case. I've got severe. May it please the court, Hannah M. writes,

so I play a nature cleric with a custom herb or herb which background. In my backstory, I can on a go. Absolutely, just gonna be in this person's way. You're a gem. Oh, you're an herb which yeah you're right I can notically craft healing potions it's kind of my whole deal I'm proficient

with healers kits and herbalism or herbalism kits and I also own both spent multiple sessions meticulously gathering buying herbs I've got to stop doing this herbs for a single healing potion this This is a very low-level low-power Campaign. I finally had everything and our DM decides I actually can't make healing potions because I don't have alchemist supplies. I never I've never owned those and I'm not proficient. So how could I have made potions in my backstory then? Suspect teachers didn't want me to have that much power It sucked because I invested so much time and all my money in the ingredients. I know the rules for making

healing potions aren't super clear was I wronged. Huh. I think that. I think I would need to know if you... I think this is kind of like a thing that like if... Hopefully your DM... like if your DM was like, if you were like, Hey, this is the character I want to play. I want to have an herbalism kit and I want to be like all about crafting these healing potions. And then the DM was like, Yeah, cool. I'm into it. And then I think that that does kind of feel out of nowhere to say Alchemist. You actually need an Alchemist. I could, I could see as a DM not wanting your players

to be able to craft potions, because I could see that being problematic, maybe for you with like running encounters. However. But they just make it really hard to make one. But it sounds like they did that already, yeah. That's why my instinct is to side with Hannah here. You gotta spend money, right?

Like they gathered this stuff, they were meticulous over theoretically many sessions. Yeah, yeah. It sounds to me like there was a discussion about how they make potions. And Hannah was very clearly going through and collecting these ingredients and everything and the DM would have known that that was all happening.

And I think you shouldn't let your players hope get up like that just to kind of take it out from under them. If you're worried about it, you can always nerf healing potions instead of 2D4 plus 4 have it be 1D4, have them be able to make super minor potions. Yeah, that's what I would say too.

Yeah, that is really, that is really strange. I guess also like maybe maybe Hannah was asking to make like greater restorations or something like that. It sounds like they're not being allowed to make them period. Period. Yeah. I also I guess I don't know enough about I guess like an herbalism kit. When I think of an herb which I think that you wouldn't need, like alchemist kit to me, alchemy is associated with this search for immortality or changing things into gold from my knowledge of it, whereas herbalism is like a very well established form

of medicine. Yeah. Once again, a thing that exists in real life, like you could gather herbs and potentially heal someone. Once again, a thing that exists in real life, like you could gather herbs and potentially heal someone. You could make a pulpit. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I could go outside and make a pulpit right now,

if I want to. This tends to me sounds like. I could just chew up some herbs and then put it on, call the wells like a bruise. I do have a big bruise, it's true. You drop that in. Yeah, because I think of alchemy as like transmutation and there are so many herbs out there

that do have healing properties. So I'm confused that you would need to transmute that. Yeah, again, again, I get why a DM would be afraid of having a player that could like collect plants that then you could heal. But it sounds like Hannah has been spending a long time and money to get this. And if those are the expectations that were set up,

then I do think Hannah was wronged. I think Hannah was wrong too. And I think this is a case that I wish could be settled outside of the court. I feel like there's a compromise to be made. Sure. I think Hannah can't express the deal. I'm totally okay with them nerfing the healing spells

and like having like a total conversation have to say, you know what? It takes you seven days to make a healing spell or like a healing potion. I'm cool with it being like, it takes time for the, you know, herbs to ripen and unlock their healing potential, but it feels strange to just say, no, you actually need another kit. Yeah. I mean, the general D&D rule is, you should yes and people or you should know but them.

So you say no but and you give an alternative. That's interesting. Did you read that somewhere? Did you come to yourself? I mean, that's just improv stuff. Cause you can say, like the idea is like yes and, you can say no in a scene, but you have to add something new. So like the idea is like yes and, you can say no in a scene, but you have to add something new.

So like the idea is always, like generally yes and. But I guess they did say no, but they said no, but it's just like that. That's just saying no stop. Like, you're just stopping everything, which isn't helpful or cool. I think I'm that DM and I'm like, no, you need, but you need so much gear to make a healing potion.

You need a medicine kit, a herbalist kit and an alchemist kit. I fucking throw an alchemist kit their way. And then get into a fight with someone who has an alchemist kit and is using it for bad things. And then they can get into this cool fight. And then at the end, they've retrieved something that can heal their party in small ways. This seems like a bigger problem, which is just about like the contention between the DM and the game they want to run versus the type of game that the players want a little bit. So it seems like that sort of thing that maybe there wasn't enough communication up top

or like, I mean, it is. But that's why I think that like you can, Hannah from the get go wanted to play an herb or a herb, which, like that was the goal. Like, it's so committed to come for now. I don't know. I don't know. I'm watching. I'm watching Jake Murray for his work.

It's a success of compulsive disorder at this point. Um, but yeah, like if I could imagine like if I was playing hard one and I'm just like, oh, by the way, like I'm a subsistive, good, pulsive disorder at this point. But yeah, like, if I could imagine, like if I was playing hard one, and I'm just like, oh, by the way, like I'm gonna start collecting mushrooms too, and I wanna make a healing potion or something, you know? Like, if it's not in my character, if it's not in my backstory, it doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't fit narratively. But this is, yeah. This is part of the character's arc. And I think it is worth it to like- A whole group of people. low magic, it feels like, if I'm a DM running a low magic campaign and someone's like, I wanna fucking hustle and work to make healing potions, I'm like, cool, you get it,

you get my world, you're playing in my world. Right, the three responses are yes and but no, and oh shit. Awesome. You want to buy basil? You really want to do foraging checks? Awesome. I really do think it's it's fun. Like I think we I play so much D&D. That is exciting and awesome. But there is like a part of me that wants to play

such a dull dry campaign. I mean, like literally just have to like hunt for food. Yeah, I just, I wanna spend a weekend in the woods, playing at a table, just eating cool wrench Doritos non-stop. Oh, hell yeah. Oh man. That's what I want. That's a D&D experience that I still haven't gotten to have. Yeah. Or just like forging weapons

Yeah, you're just like cool. All right. We're gonna spend the next 28 days and you all are gonna try to forge some new weapons You're gonna try and you know, oh dibs on finding the ingots So yes, I believe we're all unanimous yes,, once again. Justus Axford sized with the herb witch. In the next second. We've got the herb witch. We've signed with the herb witch. The Honorable Carl Doltaner sides with the herb witch. All right, we are going to feed poison ivy

to your DM. Oh my gosh, they're gonna get an itchy tummy. Ladies and gentlemen, may it please the court. Bogwood all rights. Our party was exploring an underwater Sahoo-ugwin keep in the middle of the exploration. We opened our bag of holding to re-reequip our DM parentheses and my wife, decided that the saltwater destroyed damn near everything in the bag, including several high-level spell books We had discovered how much does the esteemed panels think a bag of holding would function under these circumstances?

Thanks and love everything you guys do This guy just like Raven I just like Raven love that move Yeah That's why he's given it a whole time That's classic Deborah That's classic Deborah, man You can't open a... a yeah you can't just like

Just throw in spell books that's so fucking funny and unexpected You can't unzip your jansport underwater. Yeah, you gotta keep that shit zipped Oh, man, I think because I think I think I'm so funny I think I'm like excited to DM because it's like logically it checks out, but also it's so funny And when I've been in those situations as a character, it's like Let's keep this buttoned up. Let's look up the exact stats of the bag of whole Hold off on my rule. My knee jerk reaction is, with Caldwell is to not open your Jansport underwater. Mm-hmm.

You can ruin your math book. Yeah, it's just very funny to just imagine just like, so many dust-heeled tombs just like, disappearing underwater. Here's a question though, like what if before they went into the water, they prepared some sort of airlock system for the bag of holding,

fitted it to the bag of holding so that they could almost enter the bag of holding via airlock and then get into it. I have to imagine that would have come up. You put a button upside down, upside down in the water. Yeah, what if, all right, so they get a canoe and they flip the canoe upside down and then you push the canoe underwater

and the green tear bubble in there and then you can just breathe forever. Okay, let me read the bag of holding. Okay, read it to us. Okay. This bag has an interior space considerably larger than its outside dimensions, roughly two feet in diameter.

Cool. Two feet in diameter at the mouth and four feet deep. The bag can hold up to 500 pounds, not exceeding a volume of 64 cubic feet. The bag weighs 15 pounds regardless of its contents, retrieving it from the bag requires an action. If the bag is overloaded, pierced or torn, it is ruptures and it is destroyed and its contents are scattered in the astroplane. The bag is turned inside out. It's contents beforeth unharmed,

but the bag must be put right before it can be used again, breathing creatures inside the bag can survive for a number of rounds equal to blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so this is a tough one. Yeah, it wasn't torn. It was opened. It was open. I don't think that the DM is within their right, however, I do think it's a little harsh to be like, everything is instantly destroyed.

I feel like we're at the DM here. I would have maybe done a role to see how many things were destroyed before they could close the bag again. I would have like maybe advanced warning. I think there's a place to mitigate this, but I don't think the DM is wrong. I don't think the DM is wrong either. I definitely agree that it's brutal.

It really makes me laugh. It reminds me of moments in D&D that have made me laugh really hard. I do think that with spell books, I like that they went after spell books. I don't think saltwater would destroy everything though. You know, so like if we're gonna be realistic about the fact that water gets in,

like saltwater isn't really gonna destroy weapons or anything like that. It makes sense it would fuck up a spell book, but whenever I've had water damage to like a book, there is salvageable aspects to it. So it would be have to be like, oh, it's trying to roll and see which spells you lost. I spilt a glass of water all over my Calvin and Hobbes collection.

And you can still read the cartoons. You can still read Bill Waterson's fine work. But it is like the pages are a little warped. Yeah. Is there anything more on brand for Caldwell than spilling on the collection of Calvin and Hobbes? I believe it was the expendable Calvin and Hobbes, or perhaps the superlative Calvin and Hobbes.

I can't recall which collection specifically, but yes, this build a entire glass of water on it. The spell book is so brutal too, because the wizard would just fucking lose. I think this is funny and mean. Um, and I think it makes sense. I think it adds up. It does make sense, but I feel like it's unfortunate that it seems like it targets a specific player unfairly.

Like interesting. The, if there is one whiz, I don't know what your camp what like your party looks like, but if there's one person that depends on the spell books and their shits destroyed, that really sucks. And the swords are fine, whatever, everything else is fine. But water doesn't care about your feelings, Jake. But that's when I, like, sometimes it's fun for a party to go to have one person get fucked up.

And the rest of you are like, no, we will make this right for you. That's true. Sometimes it brings a party together to have one person lose stuff. And I still say they could have aired out the, aired out and like some of the spells, like maybe it would be funny to have it, like it's warped, so like,

almost you add like a wild magic surge to the aspect to it, because it's like, it's warped now, so you're like a little fuzzy on the details now. That's cool. So it's not something we's more to now so you're like, you're like a little fuzzy on the details now. That's cool. So it sounds like we might be split on this one. So let's go ahead and go through into our votes. I'm going to go ahead and side with the DM here.

I think Justice Axler is gonna side with a DM. Wow. Justice Caldwell abstains. Oh my God. I have to side with the DM. Wow, okay. I don't like it, but my scruples won't let me side with the player.

The DM has that authority. That's it, it's brutal, but correct. It's brutal, but correct, but I mean, I think also, I hope that that DM is finding creative. Like, it also could be that like the DM throws this in to put them in a really high stake situation, but I'm hoping that the DM is like coming up with ways to solve the problem or yeah. I think also it really helped the DM that they were introduced as their wife because I was like, oh, okay, this is someone

you actually know, so this is very funny. This is not like something, I went to a game store or something and somebody was just like, you open the bag under water, you fucking idiot. All your shit's ruined. It's just like so different, versus like, this guy's wife giving him a hard time is good. Like the alchemist kit, I'm like, oh, another thing is like, oh, you introduced this thing, it's fucking crazy.

But the next person you fight is like an evil wizard, and then you can take their spell book at the end. There you go. Okay, we have spoken. We have spoken. No sense has been passed. This is a tough execution. I mean, we have to.

We have to execute. We have to execute. We shouldn't have brought this case to this court. We have to. We have to. We have to. Okay. We can be a light one.

We are going to take your laptop bag and don't get in water. Okay. It's one of my hands. Yeah. There needs to be some water on your hands. We need you to put your computer, whatever it is, whether it be a desktop or a laptop, put it in a backpack, and then we're gonna put it in the water.

And then we're gonna put it in the bathtub. Your favorite collection of far side comics and cartoons. That's gonna be a good deal. All of your far side in the bag. Yeah, we're gonna take your favorite book and your Kindle and just chuck it into the ocean. And water does not care about your feelings. Yeah, most of the time.

That's right. It's that's coming. One thing away from today, it is how little water cares about you. It's indifferent. Water is powerful and indifferent. It's so funny to picture going up to someone at the beach and just grabbing their Kindle and freezee. It's just like a frisbee, just like it like makes the sound of one of those heelicks. Yeah, skipping it like a frisbee just like it like makes the sound of one of those Helix. Yeah, skipping it like a Z to California I could go to one and then run away really fast and just never go to that beach again and be fine Yeah, you do it and then you immediately start digging a hole You put your head in the hole

What if okay? I've got a hypothetical for you What if you had to go to the beach? What if you would be paid $100,000 that you would split? You would split with the person you do this to. They don't know. They don't know. They would be getting it. You have to go to the beach.

You have to grab somebody's Kindle, fling it into the ocean, set up a blanket on the beach near them and read a chapter of a book from your own Kindle before you get explain what's going on. You would never get that money. You would never get that money. I am a conflict of first person and I would not, I would absolutely engage with that immediately. Yeah, I truly, I don't know the answer. I mean, it's truly so funny much money.

And the other person would be, I think I would do it. I think I would do it. It's funny, is there's a large contingent of people that would be so confused that then they would try to grab your Kim Bill and Flynn with. So then you have to read the chapter. It would be hard to read the chapter. You have to read the whole fucking chapter.

And you're gonna get a quiz done. You get a quiz done. I need to write a book report on it. Well enough to write a book report on it. Yeah, so they might just like, so you have to, that's the worst part. Is that you have to find somebody meek enough to let you throw their Kindle into the ocean

and not stop you for reading your own Kindle. And if they do, then you failed and you get nothing and you look like a crazy person when you're trying to try it. Oh, and you don't even get to explain it to them. You can explain it to them, but the magic wizard who offered you the money will not show up. So you just look like a fucking crazy person. Wow, Lord.

This seems like the best way to ruin a day at the beach. We're gonna get $100,000 You don't understand there was a wizard here you fucking I had to read this entire chapter of as I lay dying It was a bar to me chapter It says you could have bought a 10,000 Kindle Scott. David. You ruined it. You fucking ruined it. You blew it. Binding a hot dog. Okay. Court is out of recess. Ladies and gentlemen, may I please the court vinegar tea rights. I I as a DM wronged my players and a few players

I had a few players who were are being solo type edge-lord characters They would often question each other or be shady to the point where it didn't make sense for them to be on the same team It also made it harder to write sessions for them. I got so frustrated with it that I basically called one of them out in the middle of the session for not playing nice. We're cool because we're friends outside of the campaign, but how do I avoid this happening in the future? How do you get past players who don't want to play as a group, apart from aggressively texting them after and freaking out Murf Style. It's really funny to think of Murf's energy on these short rests and stuff translated to just walls of text. Like, Murph, on like the Dungeons and Dragons movie mixed bag asked Juan Wall of Text. The text, the bubble, Hey man dot dot dot. And then uninterrupted, uninterrupted my analog.

You have to scroll three times to get to the end of it. Um, yes. Here's, I don't know. This sounds like a nightmare group. I gotta be honest. Yeah. This doesn't sound, the thing is, is that as the DM, you have the right to have fun too.

It's not just, you know, you're the host, sure. So, you know, make sure everybody else has fun and is taking care of. But this is not, at least I don't think it's not a job. You're not like needing to, like, they're not paying you to do this. This is your Saturday night too. You shouldn't have to, you know, run the justice league of fuckheads with Rafael, Wolverine and every other fucking edgelord.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, I, I personally played a character that another character really hated in a campaign. And I straight up called the DM and was like, do you want me to leave? Like, cause I, you know, like I, I, I will do that. So like, I think that the player should be open to asking you what's comfortable for you.

So I think you saying like, I think you saying like, yeah, like I guess like don't send like massive texts, but I do think you should communicate with like, I do think that you're not out of line to communicate with them and saying, hey, what are you looking for from this game? Don't freak out, don't freak out, Murf style. Freak out Emily style.

Yeah, you just kind of be like, what are you looking for from this game? Is this what's fun for you? Are you having fun? This sounds so like you're not having fun. I got to be on it. It sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, I love the, it's your Saturday night too, mentality. Yeah, it goes back to the hurricanes back to Emma's question.

Also, it's just like, you have to play with people that have a good attitude that want to have fun. Because you can play characters that don't trust each other and still have a good time. Yeah, and I think, I think that's where like, it's kind of on their shoulders to say, no, we actually want to not trust each other, in which case, then if they're saying,

no, this is actually what's fun for us, not trusting each other, then I think you just are like, cool, I guess we go pee, pee with this or something. If that's what's fun for you. If that's what they want, you can, as the DM come up with some crazy twist where there was reason for to sew distrust or something. Yeah.

It's just so funny to think that this 4DM is being like, tripping actually crazy. And the players are just like, sorry dude, I'm going to keep stealing from people and being mean. Yeah. But I do think also though, if if they said, like, yeah, we fucking love this. It's really fun being mean to each other. And not having a story that we're working for together.

And you say, hmm, I don't want to do that. I think it's so good. Yeah, but I imagine a lot of the anxiety, I feel like a lot of the anxiety comes from like, wow, my players are hating each other. They're not having fun. But if you get the feedback, we hate each other and we're loving it.

Maybe you do, maybe you're like, oh, okay, sweet. Like the DM is saying it's hard to play in sessions. It's so cool, shoot it. But maybe it's hard to play in sessions because they don't understand, because they're like, okay, you hate each other, but where do you want to go forward

with this hatred of each other? It does sound like. Maybe if you had conversations with them about what they're enjoying about hating each other. Or, this DM already stopped the session too. It sounds like you guys needed a reset. So that's good. This campaign is over.

And maybe you try to find some new players or you get rid of like, if you can identify like the biggest problem child, you can just add one new person or something like that. I just like, is this the sort of thing that could have been avoided by a more thorough, like campaign zero session sort of thing? Like maybe more talking and chatting like not you know

Murph style text threads but like I don't do that I don't do that I don't do that don't do that I'm just like big long scroll I take I'm extremely not online. I text the least out of everyone. Yeah, if you look at my text cover, see, my text history of Merf, it's just like seven Instagrams of cats that I sent to him with no response. I have, I have dad text energy where I just say, okay, it's like very funny.

Yep. No, I know. It seems like you really needed to, maybe you did. Maybe you tried to build out these characters and their relations to each other before, but maybe your players just resisted that. But I don't know. I feel like going in, knowing what the players want and then trying to build from there is a good spot.

Maybe I don't know how it came together. Like if all of these players came to the table like with their own ideas or if you if you talks beforehand, there's there's vectors that we don't know about. But I just can't imagine like having a fun time. It sounds like playing playing game. Like all right, my character hates everyone and he wants to go off and do his thing. I don't want to I don't want to roleplay with you. If the D have, if the D have doesn't want to run that game, that's, that's fine.

I guess it's just like you just have to talk to the character because if you're like, is this fun, like, what do you want from this? Do you want to eventually be friends because I can try and come up with a common enemy? Yeah. I can put you in a situation where you need to save each other or Do you want? Yeah, as the DM you aren't as the DM you are having a party at your house And so you are responsible to be the host you're responsible to like yeah provide entertainment and do stuff You have more responsibility than a guest, but if people show up at your house and they're fox and they break everything and they're assholes,

you don't have to invite them anymore. My character would steal your lamp. I'm sorry. Yeah, I get out of here. I think it's different because we perform, but I just always have so many conversations with my DMs to make sure that I'm playing in the world that they want to make.

Mm-hmm. So, but I feel like that should be true for home campaigns too. Also, the players, like, I don't know, we all will talk with each other like after a session and be like, hey, was it okay that I did this or like how do you feel about that? I don't know, we check in with each other too. It's important to do that. And it seems like no one's doing check-ins. Nobody is sending mercenaries. Maybe they like, maybe they like,

maybe they wanna kind of be against each other, in which case they need to make that clear to the DM. So that the DM is not just like, cool. Well, I'm gonna try and plan a session, but I guess you guys are probably all gonna. Yeah, I don't want you to have to freak out Murph style. I you know what? This wasn't necessarily a case. This is more just looking for advice, but I'm throwing down a ruling. We are we are going to execute your

players. Yeah, we are. You're gonna get guilty, but you were found not guilty. Yeah, you played guilty in a non-case and you were found not guilty and we're going to attack your friends. All right. We're going to make them wear an extremely sharp pair of pants from Spencer's Gifts, just like a lot of wallet chains and they're going to be weighed down forever by all the wallet chains. We're going to take these edge lords, weigh them down of wallet chains and they're gonna be weighed down forever by all the wallet chains. We're gonna take these edge lords, weigh them down with wallet chains and then push them over their own edge. That's what a very good. Into the water. Crush them with a block of text.

We're all in this spellbook skip this joke. Yeah everyone's, we're also gonna, they need to be able to do their computer. I mean, is there something to just, okay. I mean is there something to just okay? Is there hypothetically something to just like if these people want to be assholes? Is there something to DMing and I'm like? Just like specifically setting up encounters where if they go up by themselves will just be murdered It's kind of funny. Curious about the lesson. Yeah, just like yeah try to draw them out to what's something that's kind of funny. Curious about that. Teach them a lesson.

Yeah, just like, yeah, try to draw them out to once and then murder them with a vampire. That's why you need friends. I guess if you had the hour of friendship, you would have fucking lived. But last but not least, you're learning. Yeah, I'm a vampire and I have a fucking knife. Guess it's time for you guys to make new fucking characters. Alright, I think we have time for one more. So ladies and gentlemen, may it please the court? ZachRD asks, hopefully a quick one, as a DM, two rounds into an existing encounter,

I had a stealth slash hidden monster join the fight. On the monster's turn, I had a PC role perception, and they rolled way lower than the monster's stealth role I had the monster move up behind the PC and multi-attack giving advantage on the first role for unseen attacker But not subsequent roles later. I read in the Players handbook that in combat most creatures stay alert for signs of dangers all around So if you come out of hiding and approach a creature it it usually sees you. Was I wrong to give advantage for that first attack? Is this what passive perception is for?

Yeah, I think so. They had them. They had them roll. I think if they're stealth, I think if they're stealth beats the passive perception, they can sneak up on someone. And I think you're definitely correct to only give them To not give advantage on subsequent attacks. I think passive perception is there so that You don't have to be rolling at all times and my characters with good stats will notice things instead of just standing there like morons

Here's a question if their perception role was lower than their passive perception, would that have it? I mean, yeah, there are times when technically you should be doing passive instead of having them roll, but it makes sense to me in a fight that it's like do a perception check. Where are you looking right now? Cause a little bit of that is luck, right?

You're not just standing still and noticing somebody creeping into your castle or something. I mean, yeah, I would imagine your attention is more on whoever you're dealing with at the moment than like, I mean, maybe your head's on a swivel a little bit, but I don't think it's like to the point where you would notice anything coming up that's trying to speak up on you. It's hard right because if you think about it, you think about it as if a player asks to do this, right? You would be like, totally, give me a stealth check.

Yeah. Awesome. You get advantage on your first attack and then your subsequent. So it's like, if a player asks to do it, it would be an immediate yes. Yeah. This goes back, I think, a little bit to our last answer, which is that the DM is a player too in a way. So like, true.

I think if you would give that to your players, if they snuck up on somebody and you had a monster roll a perception check, you would allow that monster to come out and roll with advantage. Yeah. Which is only fair. The DM might own the pool,

but they still like to swim in it. Thank you. You're not on the pool, but they're on an inflatable doughnut. But be careful in the pool because the water doesn't care about your feelings. Thank you. Do you be aware that water will never, it does not care about your feelings, it will not cobble your ego. Don't look to water for comfort. Don't look to water for your basic needs. No, no, no, except for thirst. Right, it'll comfort that. Actually, it will comfort your thirst. Yeah. On hot't have to. I said, it's pool water, don't drink pool water.

Oh, you drink a little bit. Don't drink pool water. If you put a spell book in pool water, the chlorine might further hurt the spell. Correct, yeah. It would for sure, yeah. As a kid, I definitely drink a little pool water and I'm fine.

Are you? You do spill a lot. You do spill a lot. You do spill a lot. Also every once in a while pool water just drips out of your nose. That's, I mean, it's allergies. What do you want me to do about it? Can I say that I really like this style of question where somebody is telling on themselves? This is like absolutely my, this is my kind of deal.

This is called, this is called all energy. It's like this last one was worth energy. I know what it's called all energy. This guy didn't even say that the player died or anything. It's just like, I did four extra damage. The player is fine. They recovered after a long rest. Have a Pepsi dude, you're fine.

From my brief experience of DMing, I go like I never play the monster like I never use all the abilities that the monster has. It's beautiful. It's in I think that this DM did something that was allowed and that they would have let a player do and the monster should be able to play by the rules of the players, but they're just a nice person and they feel bad

and they want their friends to have fun. Yeah, I just, I know this feeling so much of like, you do a thing like this and everyone on the table is like, oh, okay, and then like two a.m. that night, you're just in bed being like, I should have used passive perception. I just roll around in my own filth thinking how glad I am that I fucked over my players.

Which is crazy because I share a bed with them. I take a little shit and then I put my hands between my legs and I just roll around I want to I want to squeeze my genitals Normal keep your hands away from the shit when you shit the back. Be normal. Keep your hands away from the shit when you shit the bed. It's your swimming pool. You're allowed to shit in it. That's true.

And you can drink a little bit of the water. If you're the sea. You can drink a little bit of the water and you can take a shit and it's your pool. That's what the chlorine's for. Even if you're shitting, you can still take a little sip. Pool water, myrce. The third of all does not care for you.

Actually, we really can't drink ocean water either. So cool. A lot of different kinds of water that you can't drink, y'all. Yeah. To your research. Do your research before you drink water. Google it. Think twice.

Think twice before you drink water. The skeptical of water. Yeah. Could have jardial or your DM's poop in it. Yeah. There's a parasite that I'll jump up into your dick And Iru yeah, yeah, oh, it's a weird fish. Oh Okay, so I guess we all we all One more I don't want to end on parasites jump up your dick. Well, we haven't we haven't a rapid fire one

We haven't ruled anything. Oh, we got a hole haven't a rapid fire one. We haven't ruled anything. We have a rule on this one. Okay, so we can end on what we've been talking about pool pool so much that I don't remember what we're talking about. Yeah, you're fine. I'm fortunately someone has to be

punished. I think you're fine. However, we have to hopefully attack their players. We have to be punished. I think you'll find however, we have to we have to punish somebody. We have to punish them. I don't make rules in this court. I got the punishment.

We stealthily sneak up to their players and replace their water with pool water. Oh, that's murder. That's fucked up. So fucking gross. I think it'd be okay. To take a sip of water. It tastes like a fucking chlorine.

The shrewd nightmarine in here. To be like in the middle of work, not thinking, just pounding water, putting it down, putting it down, putting it down. One time you bring it up and just get a goop of. Oh man. I used to work in the warehouse and like on the floor is like a stock boy for a pool supply store

and I still remember. That's a lot of guys. I do know a lot about pools. I just remember the stink of chlorine in that place and the customers were all, they were all people who could afford pools. So they were like pretty like well off. That's see.

And they would, I would have to test their water to see like what chemicals they needed. And sometimes I forget what chemicals, it was like some very specific thing that if you tested it and this happened, they had to drain their pool and they would just flip out on me fucking I was like 20 years old and just people like just fucking rich boomers out on me Did you ever? Did you ever not tell someone they needed a drain their pool?

Definitely just didn't there were so it was like strips. So the color it would be like, you know, like a deep purple would be very bad. And that would be like, okay, you're gonna fucking die if you go in your pool. Please drain it. And there were times it would be like a light thing and I'd just be like, Hey, yeah, buy some um, bit of cleric acid or whatever it helps. You heard it guys. You're a guy. You're a man.

Maybe drain your pool, consider draining your pool. Whatever you do, don't drink any of it. Some water's fine, but not yours. You drink a little sips, sir. I remember one time a guy came up to me and he had, I guess he had found like a thermometer or something that had been like open to like somebody had tampered with it or something. Oh, guys, this dude, this dude comes up to me and I'm like a thermometer or something that had been like Opened like somebody had tampered with it or something. Oh, guys this dude this dude comes up to me

And I'm like a fucking kid and he comes up to me and he goes does this work and I'm like Yes, he's like oh This one's broken Well, like why are you lying to me? It just started freaking out on me like I got commission off of like, whether this dude bought this fucking thermometer, I could not give a fucking shit. Like what this guy was just like, I, sir, I just come down.

Here's the thing about people like that, because if I was getting heated at an employee, which I don't think I would ever do, but like if in the rarest instance I was getting heated at an employee, which I don't think I would ever do, but like if in the rarest instance I was and the employee said to me, sir, I'm 20. You have to be like, oh my God, you're right, I'm so sorry.

Absolutely. What was I thinking? I will leave. Remember? Yeah, I remember once when I was, when I was like 11, I spent a summer doing, I was like an umpire. So I would be, oh, dude. I was like 11, I spent a summer doing, I was like an

umpire. So I would, oh, dude. I was the umpire at, at like, t-ball games. Yeah. Like, games where the, like, the coaches would pitch to the kids. Yeah. Lois, like, these kids are four. They, like, barely, they, like, can't keep their pants up as they're running to first. And I would, like, I would make calls, like, safe out. And dads would jump off the stance and scream at me like I'm 11 I told you're four year old out and he was yeah so was I'm sorry your four year old isn't special he was very slow I was a soccer ref and I had the same thing and literally my dad would have to come to my games to get into fights with the other dads, because they were, to defend me,

because they were fucking crazy. It's insane. These kids were like four years old, and I remember the rules for this level of kid was that if you, when you threw the ball in, technically you're not your feet aren't supposed to leave the ground, and if the kid fucks up, you're supposed to have them do it again.

But there would be times where the kid would do it like a couple times and keep fucking up. So eventually I would just allow it and the dad would be like, what the fuck? Look his foot came up. See, this is why you become a camp counselor because as long as the kid does not break a bone,

you can do whatever you want. There are no parents, there are no parents. There are no rules. Yeah, that's right. This is why you work in food service. You're about 12 years. No, not 12 years, maybe like seven years. I worked in an ice cream store too.

But we were like a specialty ice cream store. And sometimes I would give people their cones and I would tell them how much it cost, and they got so mad that I was like, you can just take it, go just walk. I don't care. Yeah. So anyways, this helpful to your question.

Oh yeah. We already, we're gonna poison his players with the car. See already. Yeah, it's pointless. Or maybe we'll just take away their sneak attack next time. We're gonna have a rabbit sneak attack. Angry boomers come and yell at them. Angry boomers are gonna come.

We're gonna pull boomers. We're gonna pull boomers. Pull boomers are gonna yell at you like you called their three year old out. Your players have to tell evil pool boomers that they have to train their pool. Listen, we're not using, we're not using Sahagan as a D&D race anymore. It's now pool

boomers. They live in the pool. And they're fucking sick because you didn't have the guts to tell them to drain their pool. It's too much mercury. Okay, you know what? Let's wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. We hope you had fun listening to our two episodes I thought it was really fun to hear Yeah, thank you to the other people's worlds even though it was like in You know in the context of sometimes people having disagreements. It's still fun to hear people You know traveling underwater. Yeah people having disagreements. It's still fun to hear people, you know, traveling underwater and open. Yeah.

Bag of holding or fairy circles. Yeah, I wanted to be a part of everyone of those campaigns. They all sounded very fun. Yeah. Thank you for sharing. Thank you to our Baylif Jake for putting together the the cases and presenting them so admirably. Of course, I hope it fits the court. If it may please the court, it did please the court. I would like to go on the record. If the stenographer can make sure to highlight this on the record, it did please the court. The court is just.

Oh my God, the highest honor. Hold on, I've got my tiny little shorthand keyboard. I will type in Giz. There you go. You're good. Thank you. You know what? Thank you so much for listening.

Court is adjourned. Caldwell, why don't you take us out with your little gabbling. You are going to spill that water. He's about to hit a bottle of water with the water. I drew Calvary and Hobbs, dude. Put it away. No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! Welcome to Mix Bag, a holding everybody. No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! This month, we're gonna be doing another DM court because we've had so much fun doing it. So without further ado, let's throw to the Dungeon Bayliffe. Jake Roberts. All rise. D&D Court is now in session. The honorable judges Murphy, Axford and Tanner presiding. Our first case, and may it please the court. Where did you pick up, may it please the court?

Is it a real thing? I have no idea. I'm sorry. I didn't say it, I don't know. I love it. If you wanna be polite, it's a thing. I'll say that. May it please the court.

I hope it's real. Why would like a murder trial ever please the court? It really, that really shouldn't be the court. You just brown nose in for the frickin' judge, dude. And the court. It really, that really shouldn't do the court. You just brown nose and for the frickin' judge, dude. And the jury. There's no rule in the legal rule book of America, which is the name of the book, that you can't call your judge sweetie.

No rules as you can't do it. And may it please the sweetie, a parking ticket. Our three sweetie judges, James E. writes, you were launching an aerial attack on a city we'd accidentally allowed some mind flares to turn into a colony. Of course, one of our pieces has a cube of force, which basically generates a force field centered around the character,

which blocks things from going in slash out. After Plan A failed, which was right, a polymortary taradactyl, a PC with a fly speed activated the cube, catching the other party members since the PC was flying and the cube centers on them, they used it to carry the PCs to the ground. The DM let it happen, verse forcing us to plummet to our death. So they were writing on that tear d'actile, but grumbled the whole time. Should the DM have killed us, let us do it without grumbling, or were they correct to allow it, but complain the whole time.

So this guy had a problem with the DM. The DM. This is a DM after my own heart. First off, I want to understand. So because they carried the players, that was, the players were benefiting from their cube of force, is that the idea? I guess, yes.

They were on the back of a tarot acto that got shot out of the sky. And they were all about to fall. So this character activated their cube of force, catching the characters, instead of allowing them to fall. Okay. I'm gonna go ahead and read what cube of force catching the characters instead of allowing them to fall. Okay. I'm going to go ahead and read what cube of force does. Yeah, that was really funny.

It's about an inch across each face. It's emitting into evidence. Sorry. Reading into it. Thank you. It's done all your first. It's going to take notes. May it please.

Your turn. You're a little eyes only. May it tickle the court. May it tickle the sweetie. You can use an action to press one of the cube's faces, expending a number of charges based on the chosen face as shown in the Keebe Force faces table, sure. Each face has a different effect.

If the cube has good lord, insufficient charges, nothing happens. Otherwise a barrier of invisible force springs into existence, forming a cube 15 feet on a side. The barrier to our center dons view moves with you and lasts for one minute until you use an action to press the cube's sixth face or the cube runs out of charges. You can change the barriers effect by pressing a different face of the cube and expanding the requisite number of charges resetting the duration.

If your movement causes the barrier to come into contact with a solid object that can't pass through the cube, you can't move any closer to that object as long as the barrier remains. Got it. Okay. So I feel like it's legit to have the cube up here. I don't know why it wouldn't hurt.

So like wouldn't it just be like falling from an elevator? Like people die that way. Like an elevator failure is just a cube of four. I guess fall way. Yeah, it's a cube of fours, not the cube of fours filled with pillows. Yeah. Mm.

I guess I don't know how much force the cube would absorb upon impacts with the ground. Like if it has an AC or an AC. Yeah. I mean, but still you would take it from like hitting.'t this character have a fly like this character can fly. So if it's flying, then it can fly with the force. Oh wait, okay. So it's one character still on the tarot act. No, I think they're all falling, but one character cat. It's like, I guess it's like similar in our campaign. If I had that and like the ring of feather fall or so yeah, slower.

Okay. With everybody inside or something. They can't hold all of their friends because they would not be able to fly if they were holding probably even one person unless they were like tiny. Oh, I think I think I said with the with the grumbling because I think even if like how fast do you fall? I think you fall like 500 feet around or something insane. So there's no wet like your fly speed will never match. I also think I would I would submit that a grumbling DM is actually pretty cool. Like I like a grumbling.

Yeah, that's fun. It's like. And DM sometimes grumble because they know you like it grumbling. Yeah, that's fun. It's like cool. And DM sometimes grumbles, because they know you like it. Yeah. Consider that. Consider that your DM actually gave you two gifts that day. Yeah, because them grumbling means that you were getting away with something. I think that my honest, well, I'm gonna weigh in and say that this item is really confusing. And maybe I just don't like the item.

Because what I don't understand is that it just like, if it's a force field that is just around this, like, this flying guy, right? Like, it's not, it's not like they have to hold up the force field. It's not like the weight is actually dragging it down. Yeah, they like they have to hold up the force field. It's not like the weight is actually dragging it down. Yeah, they don't have to hold up this force field. I think that this is just, this description is unnecessarily complicated if what it is is just a cube of force surrounds you. It's just such an unnecessarily complicated discussion.

Okay, so the faces all have different things. So I think maybe, I don't do roll to see which one or do you get to choose. I think maybe you get to choose a face. Okay, so face number three says living matter can't pass through the barrier. So the idea, I guess, would be that their friends were stuck in the barrier with them, but it stays around them. It doesn't say anything about how much you can hold. Oh, that's true. Because of all of these clauses, there are ones that say living matter can't pass through the barrier,

but there are others that say spell effects can't pass through the barrier. So if all it was was a cube that spell effects couldn't go through, it wouldn't hold your friends. Right. The based on the way it looks that I'm reading here, it looked at first like you had to roll a D6 and get a random one, but I think it just has six faces and you pick a face, and that is what it does.

So if this person knows that this specific face is that living matter can't pass through the barrier, then yeah, that's legit. It doesn't say anything about how much it can carry. So it just stays around you so you can just carry people around, I think. Do you charge that the DM shouldn't have grumbled then? If you think it's all over the place. Here's the thing, even just reading this

makes me want a grumble. Like a grumble. I really, definitely, right now. I really, really like mechanics a lot. They make me, they're fun to read. They ignite my imagination. This one did not do that. This one can suck an egg.

This one makes me like, kind of like. This side can suck an egg. Ugh. We'll decide it. Grumble makes me like, this side of the con. This side of the con. This side of the con. This side of the con. This makes me crumble. This makes me crumble. Seems like a really good item that totally saved your life,

but we don't like that all the paragraphs we're seeing here. So. That's what I'm saying. See, look at us, listen to us crumble. As soon as we talk about the ground, we just rings out the worst. This is the best way. You know what, you know all of us grumbling now. This grumbling is contagious. Yes, my God. Make sure you want a grumble, even when I side with you.

Then that case is decided, Colville, do you want to bang your gavel? Gladly. Thank you to David D for sending us this actual gavel, which I'm using to determine the fate of this case. I will say we are ruling that regardless of weight, you must negate the fact that you're not going to be I'm using to determine the fate of this case. I will say we are ruling that regardless of weight, you must negate.

You're allowed to crumble very nice. Wow. Every time we do do in D-Core, it gets a little more formal. I love it. It really does. Like some of them will show up in a suit. We also have to say it's a super harsh punishment because that's always what we do.

So we said it's true. We think a DM can grumble. So unfortunately, we are gonna make it so you can't grumble about your DM grumbling. So we are gonna cut your tongue out. I'm gonna just make you, I'm gonna make you every book that you read from now on is just the description of Cuba.

Yes, oh yeah, since you love Cuba for so much, we are going to cast a curse on you, so whenever you open a book, you just read the paragraphs and paragraphs of deckingicalities of Cuba for. I just really think it could be a cool item and that maybe they just could have ordered it in a less oblique way.

Yeah, the court is tough and the court is fair. Our second case comes from Laura G. My players forced faced and defeated the Moonlit King. And as booty, I gave one of them his hat, which is imbued with power of light walking, the moonlit King teleports from one area of moonlight to another within 100 feet. Many weeks later, it's the final battle, and he's trying to run away from the big bad and try to use the hat to teleport away. I had mentioned that it was day,

but he argued that even during the day, there is moonlight. It's just not noticeable with all the sunlight. Boop! Boop! Oh my god. Order! I will have order in this course.

Is this a type of person who would you say like at at 12 o' 1 at night you go like yeah Tomorrow will probably go get brunch. It's like tomorrow. It's technically Saturday right now I think that I think here's what I'm gonna throw out immediately Did we know this is gonna be first off? It was pretty much no the character died in the fight, and to this day, he maintains that it was unfair to love you the teleport. This is a mockery for a court. Okay, okay.

That's just before we talk about how wrong this person is because I was feeling we're all gonna land there. Could I just say how cool would it be though if another party member could cast Moonbeam, they could teleport to that. Wow, that would be cool. That's cool. That's cool, isn't it?

But, you just, that is the only tip. That's the only way for you to teleport during the day. Or, you just, I guess, distract the big bad for eight hours. Then wait for night to fall. And then you're so, yeah. Oh, yeah. You should have just waited until night, everybody. Just, you know, get them into season one of sopranos or something like that.

That'll, that'll take up a lot of time. That'll take up several hours of your day. It must be so hard when your, um, Murf and Kawa, is it hard when your, uh, when your PCs use a cool item that you gave them in a way that it, um, is not allowed to be used and then get mad at you for giving them a cool item and not letting me use it. I think everyone has heard all of our debates. It is all out there. So I don't we haven't gotten mad at each other about stuff. I don't think that we've ever had a situation. I

think I'm just saying that it's funny to get mad at your DM for not letting you use a really cool item in a way that it's not meant to be. It's like they gave you that cool item. It's not the spirit of the thing, right? So even technically if the moon is still there during the day, sure. But like, I don't know, man, you know what that item does. When you read it, you know that it's that for nighttime. You know that it's for actual moon light, not for technically. Yeah, it is like being like, you know this, this hat of moon light teleportation.

It's actually just a hat of teleportation. Yeah. It's always absolutely right. Yeah. The way to absolutely right? Yeah. The way to twist this, the way to allow this bullshit and still I think comply within the rules of the game is you make them roll like a D100 or something and like 99 to two, it doesn't work.

But like if they roll a one on that D100, they just instantly are like ripped to shreds by moonlight. Like the smallest liver of moonlight just incinerates their body or something like that. I'm so firmly, I mean, so far we've only ruled for the DMs here, but I'm going to move to the DM again. I rule hard. We couldn't even get through this question without booing your player. So Congratulations to you Your players should have had another person use moon beam and then I would allow moon beams moon light teleportation during the day. I just don't even think there is moonlight during the day like son

Like it's not it's not there, right? Like if it's not shut if you can't see what then I guess technically There would probably be some light light shining off of the moon. And yeah, what did it also though be like, oh, I have a kayak. If I'm in a river, I can kayak. And then it's like, oh, okay, you're, um, you're on a, a wet floor of a bathroom. Uh, there's someone has spilled a little bit of, uh, of water. I can't get a water on it. And I'm not in a water.

Right. That's, that's a great, great. Not a it on it. No, not enough water. Right. That's that's a great great metaphor. Yeah. Okay. Someone's built a glass of water. I kayak on it. I know. I guess I just grumble about it. Won't you give me this kayak if you weren't going to let me row it through this fog? That is so funny. The display would definitely be like, OK, well, fog is technically water, so I can kayak through the fog. That's right. That's right.

That's right. So this player, I think, since Moonlight is everywhere, we will curse them to live in a world where it is never night. But to them, it is always night, even though it's bright as fuck, they're not allowed to use blinds. They have to sleep in the bright sunlight. They also get run over by a kayak. Yes, that's it.

And they're never allowed to watch the film moonlight. Oh, that's tough. Yeah, that's a good film. Mm-hmm, cool. And okay, so they're never allowed to, oh wait, and they also aren't allowed to wear sunglasses because that'll hurt their eyes in the brainness. Okay.

And okay, that's it. Yeah, no sun yet. That's it. Yeah. The court chose no mercy. They're running. They're running. They're really punished.

Just give them life. It'd give them life it'd be easier It'd be better although please bang the gavel and make your dog go crazy Very good. Oh, she must be asleep both of these questions are so funny to have DMs give people Items and then people get angry about that Actually, this is this is a theme theme because this next one is kind of similar. For our third case, may it of course please the court. Jebus J. Wright's IDM campaign and after my party ripped off a casino,

they went on a magic item spending spree. Cool. I perhaps unwisely allowed one player to purchase a helm of teleportation, which I think has made the game less fun. They were able to escape from most threats with just an action, as well as bypass a lot of challenges in a very unexciting way. So when the party was defeated in combat, I had the villains capture instead of kill them and take the helm from them.

But now the party thinks that I'm metagaming and too salty about them thwarting my plans. I'm just wiped apart. Am I in the wrong order? How dare they? How dare they come up with this point? How dare you? I wish I had some papers I could do a court sketch of how angry Murph looks.

Yeah, Murph did turn really red, very bad. I think I agree because like, because like, I think that's a really fun way to deal with it, right? Like put them in a situation where this thing that they love so much is at stake, you know, and if they lose that situation, then they lost that thing. If your entire party gets knocked out, you should just be happy to be alive. Yeah. Yeah.

Was it like a tender moment where you traded your helm of levitation or your helm of transport, your helm of teleportation, excuse me, for all of your party members' lives? Because that could have been good. I feel like that's the way to do it to make them like have to barter because clearly this player loves their hell more than anything else in the world and for them to trade that out of it. Oh, that could have been really interesting. Not even putting them in a dangerous situation, but putting them in a situation where they there's something they really want to do. And

that remember when we went to, remember when we went in Bohumia to that, like a very, that, that, like greedy little hoarding guy, like some extra fashion, and bastion was like, give me magic items. Like I'll help you if you give me something. That'd be a good way of them for them to be like, for them to be like, for someone to say like, yeah, I'll help you for that hat. You know, that could be a fun way. But I also think that what you did was not wrong.

Yeah, they got. Yeah, they were already done. If they got their ass kicked fair and square. Yeah, like that they that's like a consequence of. Yeah, so you're absolutely. Yeah, you're absolutely right. I was metagaming. I thought you guys liked your characters and wanted to stick around. But apparently I was wrong. Let's retcon that you're all dead. I was metagaming. I thought you guys liked your characters and wanted to stick around, but apparently I was wrong. Let's retcon that. You're all dead. Let's roll new characters inside over. You're all dead.

And a rat walks away with the helm of teleportation. Yeah, you don't have a helm of teleportation anyway, because you're level one and you need to make a small fishing village. The decision is unanimous and it is time to pass the sentence. Oh, who will swing the sword? You get, my punishment is the actual punishment I suggest for real life, which is to just restart the campaign.

Say your absolute gang, you're absolutely right, let's, you're all dead. Start over. Yeah. Start over. Start over. The only thing that's different in this world is that Helms of teleportation do not exist. Yeah.

There is one and it's an highly guarded museum. Yeah. It's Lord of the Real City. So now it's Lord of the teleportation helmet. Yeah. I'm getting pretty grumbly here after all that grumbly stuff came up at first, but it does make me kind of salty. There's all these players that just don't respect

their DMs at all. And it's just, they have to do so much work. This person put together this world, they don't want you passing every single thing. All you have to show up and play, and you can't even have fun. You're like, you're mad at your friend for trying to make the game fun.

If you want cool items, play video games. I didn't finish the case, but the last line is, did I make an unpopular decision that will make our more game fun, we'll make our game more fun in the future, which really shows the benevolence of a DM. Like they are just trying to do the right thing and make the part of the world.

I was gonna say that I think that that was the right instinct. Like if they're salty at you, they're gonna have more fun encounters because you took away this thing that was preventing, that was taking stakes away. So like, I think that they're wrong. Definitely. I mean, that's like, that's writing,

writing a campaign is exactly like writing a script. Like, there needs to be that end of like, act two moment that is like bad. There need to be. Bad things need to happen. Yeah, where the players lover or helmet is taken from yeah exactly Well, they love their helmet. They love their helmet so much Dark night of the helmet. It's called in-screen writing. I also think there's lots of like

Like I feel like there's also like oozes and stuff that will destroy magical items You know, it would have been a really fun to just like some jacked it to some kind of ooze that would just fun to just, like, some, Jack did to some kind of ooze that would just corrode the magical property of it. So that they keep the helm, but it, like, has, like, maybe it's still teleports, but it's only one charge per day and it's highly unstable. Yes.

That's all, like, the guys that stole it, like, fucked with it. Like, you can have it back there, you have it back here. That's all I wanted to say. Oh, that's so funny. Give it back to the way it it back. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, that's so funny. Give it back to them. That's what you should do. But it was cursed. Yeah.

That's such a funny idea. Cursed. That's so funny. It's said somewhere random. Yes. This is the course. Oh my god. Yes.

Plan that out as the next leg of your adventure is like let them break out. Make it like a little too easy for them to break out they find a room with all the treasure in it oh look here's my precious helmet back I love my helmet I hate my DM takes the helmet tries to use it send him the fucking hell that's a fucking bumper sticker if I've ever heard one I love love my helmet. I hate my DM. I love my helmet. I hate my DM. Oh no, I'm in hell. I'm gonna give you love your helmet. Holy shit.

We should make bumper stickers. Oh. Well, we got the first one right here. Yeah, we do. God, I would fucking, if I was driving around on the highway and I saw somebody with that bumper sticker after we made it, I would make a hole over it.

I would make a hole over it. I would make a in a post. You know what the most fucked up bumper sticker we could be that we could make that would relate to NAD pod is Olaf dies in first. Any kid on the road that just learned how to read riding in the back row minivan just look to your left in the movie spoiled. You just get rear-ended by parents who are just like trying to defend the sanctity of their child's favorite franchise. You might get a road rage fight on the side of the road. I like to think that we could be the first bumper sticker company that is designed for you to put the stickers

on your friend's car as a joke. You're never supposed to put them on your own car. They're entirely prank bumper stickers. Crunker stickers if you will. Well, guys, that's, that is the end of that case. And I thought we should go into a brief recess because I have, I've got an update from Calum of Bahumi and Mapfam and also of rotisserie chicken eating

on the zool. Oh, legendary behavior. This is cool. I was just talking about this today. It is chaotic behavior and I love the energy and Caleb actually has an update on the situation. Oh my God. Please.

I'm gonna eat it up. I'm gonna eat it up getting my fingers so greasy just like a rotisserie chicken. and Caleb actually has an update on the situation. Oh my God. Please. I'm gonna eat it up. I'm gonna eat it up, getting my fingers so greasy, just like a rotisserie chicken. I'm gonna rip the skin off and then eat the flesh inside out. I love the person who did this and I'm pretty sure we still voted against them, but I love to them for doing this.

I love every side. I love every person in this equation. I don't even think I'd be able to speak watching somebody eat a rotisserie chicken on Hopefully would not be able to speak give us a sound of breaking bones. Okay My friend and I have agreed to an epic poultry themed in character brawl much like Claygain bowl during our campaign to decide the ultimate fate of his rampant hen feasting. I feel it may be the most important battle I ever fight. Someone commented, Claire comments underneath him. Oh my God, we need an update when chicken Klegane or chicken legain bowl happens. Chicken legain bowl happens. Did the rotisserie.

I can't get a raise rampant hand feed. Can I can I recommend club game ball? A club game ball. There I did. I did one of the reasons I wanted to bring it up was so we could game a name and I think you nailed it. Cana responds whoever wins decides the chicken rule. And there is some chat that the loser gets a hen tattoo. It's absolutely.

Whoa. So. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it just allows you to. It's huge. This is out of control. So wait, all right, what are the stakes? Like either if, if Kalam wins,

the other person is not allowed to eat chicken anymore? Yeah, Kalam does not want the chicken anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. So if Calam wins, no more chicken. If the other player wins, it sounds like they can eat chicken and Calam has to get a hen tattoo. This other person,

we don't matter what, because clearly they're fucking, go go for chicken. They get to get a hen tattoo if they lose. got a hint at you if they lose. I think they need chicken if they win. They can't lose. They have a hint at you anyway. Absolutely nuts for it.

Odds are fully in their favor. Oh God. I mean, I think that this is just a beautiful example of the meaning of friendship. I really like hearing this story is this is just how every every fun confrontation should go. Yeah, this is the beauty of D&D is you have an arena to work out this squabble. What is it like? What's a chicken themed fight even mean to you guys? Would it be like a chicken battle and a pool? Where are they on the shoulders? Oh, I thought it was gonna be like a joust, but you're riding large chicks instead of them.

Oh, that's cool. And then if you would get skewer, you would get skewer, just like kind of like a chicken ball. Or you each get par with your into a rooster and it is a straight up cock fight. Oh, I think you could skirt around the legal problems with that by actually becoming the rooster. I think that'd be okay. I assume I was like street fighter, but it would be like the chicken man stage. And so there's be chickens kind of rooting the whole time and kind of dropping their

eggs and like cheering. and so there's gonna be chickens kind of rooting the whole time and kind of dropping their eggs and like cheering. Another fun thing would just be sort of going for like a sort of low-fi slow-end caretaking thing. So like over the course of a month, you have to care for these hens and whoever's hens lay the most eggs wins the ball. I like that a whole lot.

Yeah, you could do like the like class in high school, did you guys ever have to care for an egg for a week? Yeah. I think so, yeah. I went to an all boys high school and we didn't have to do any sort of responsibility or child rear end at all. Good. Would you respect is maybe not great, but that's how it was.

All right, shall we return to court for another case? Yes, good luck. Good luck, Kalamon. A club gain bowl. Yeah, we're clucking for you. We are. Dude, honestly, I would like livestream that if the Patreon stretch goal. Yeah, maybe we should talk, we should talk to

and I call him and figure out what we can do. I don't even care if we do it for anyone else. Yeah, maybe we should. Can I just watch? Maybe we should live, commentate, click game ball. That's so funny. We do live commentary for Claygate Bull. If they do that, someone has to get a hint at you.

We can't even, a hint at you has to be on the line. We can't send the mics though, because they'll get chicken all over it. That's true. These are expensive mics. To think of doing live commentary on a D&D fight is when the DM already is kind of doing live commentary. We would just be kind of parroting whatever DM said. Oh, man.

I think that's a really fast, the DM's permission if we can kind of DM the fight. Oh, well, they would need like an impartial DM. They would need a blog. You should DM Cligainball. DM Cligeball. DM Clayganeball, I don't want to take it away. Their own DM is a impartial DM.

That's true. All DMs are beautiful and perfect. And that's always. Oh, that's beautiful. It places the court. It places the court. We can do that like where you get in the corner. Like, that's what I'll do.

I'll just like virtually massage calum's shoulders or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll be like, I'll be like, Oh, in the corner? Yeah. Oh.

And instead of Vaseline, I'll just put chicken grease on the other person's face. If they get a cut. A half time show. This is so stupid. We need to figure out a way to get involved in a club game bowl. Yeah, get in touch with this, Gellum.

Okay. Court is back in session. All right. May it please, may it please and tickle the judges. RJ W writes, I'm running my players through the curse of straight. Strade, strad, strad, strad right now.

And they've arrived in Valky, Valeky. There's an event where a tiger from a traveling circus is freed, and one of my players rolled very well on animal handling to calm the thing down. I believe it was in 18. The problem comes when the owner of said animal comes to reclaim the tiger. The player who rolled well on animal handling wants to keep the tiger as a mount. I said he would have to persuade the owner,

he disagreed and said he has to persuade the tiger, which he has through animal handling. I tried to explain that the owner has built up years of rapport and trust with the animal, but they refused to listen. Happy to have this mediated by a neutral third party, especially one consisting of pop-pos legal aids. Wow.

That's so simple. This is such a simple question. This is obviously, there's precedent for this. This is absolutely air bubbles. Exactly what you're gonna say. Called the law. This is air-bud rules. Blaine and simple, the precedent exists.

You and the owner need to stand preferably 20 feet apart from each other with a tiger in the middle and you need to make animal handling roles against each other to see who the tiger prefers. And that would be great. And I would say the owner gets to make them with advantage, probably. Absolutely.

Yeah, I was gonna say, I think that, I think that even taking it, I think that you're totally fair to be like, because also a wild animal from one animal handling check that's only an 18 isn't necessarily gonna be a mount to begin with. Like maybe they'll follow you around for a little bit, but like I someone who's had a lot of animal companions

getting something useful from them takes time. Oh yeah, I tell you there's a wild animal. I don't think you can fall back on your old animal handling check to be like no this thing loves me You you've got to earn its trust over and over again. Yeah, I just saw all my cats like five minutes ago We were all cool if I go back out there They might just decide they don't want to hang out with me for three days and that's Thing that might happen with big cats. You all do have enough cats now that they could rally against you. Oh yeah, they

could absolutely like unionize. If the backyard cats, if the cat colony in the back unionizes and says and decides that they get to live inside now and we have to live outside, the majority will be in their favor. We demand one wet bowl, one dry bowl, and one wet dry bowl mix three hours a day in intervals and use it by the category two. I think that you definitely could gamify. If this person is like, if this person's really passionate about this, then I think like what you're saying is really fun.

Like, okay, let's give it a chance. And you could, if they roll well, it could be like, okay, well, you know, maybe he is gonna leave its owner, but I think that it's fair to, even if someone really wants something, make it still take a reasonable amount of time to work. Yeah, it's not, yeah, can't be done with one roll. It's also more fun to do, to do like the,

the animal chooses that's master. Yeah. Yeah. But one of the options should just be like, fuck this, I'm, I'm running into the woods. I'm free. Yeah. That's a problem. I'm not like, yeah. It's the choices not you were the other guy.

It's like you the other guy, or like, I hunt because I'm a tiger. And I'm your boss. If you look at the DM screen, and it tells you how to set DCs, and something that's like impossible and nearly impossible, is DC 30. So normally, when you're doing things like having characters

that they're supposed to fight or something, you set the DC at something that is appropriate for their level. But if the character is trying to do something that is just like impossible, like this, like talking to a tiger one time and making it their pet, it should be a DC 30. It should be impossible or nearly impossible. This tiger wandered over to me. I should be able to write it. That's amazing.

Yeah. If the person is excited, you could, and they're able to persuade the owner, I think that's all super fair, I think it would be fun to be throughout the course of the journey, you're like, okay, check in with your animal, are you a step? We have a threshold that you have to hit before you have respect and rapport. Yeah, like I did with Kakao, like it wasn't easy. Right, yeah.

I love the episode where you use Kakao's amount. It is, it is very funny to get an 18 and just think like argument over I win I am the highest role in a game you can naturally roll to higher than that and then also have modifiers that bring it up way higher than that to just be like 18 end of discussion. Also I don't want to tell this DM how to run their campaign but if this tiger doesn't show up as straws mount at the end of the battle,

and I don't know what you were doing, like clearly, clearly that is where this tiger should show up again. Greetings, I'm the true owner of this tiger. Hello. I also think that in general, people tend to take their D&D familiars for granted and use them for their purposes,

but I think that you need to be role-playing for them as well and giving them characterization to earn their presence in your story. You know what you can do? You can do it like in Pokemon. At least in the first one, I don't know. You know what you can do, you can do it like in Pokemon, at least in the first one, I don't know, I'm not a big Pokemon guy, I haven't played in a while, but I know in the first one, if you traded somebody a high level Pokemon and they weren't very far, the Pokemon would act up, it like wouldn't do turns and stuff.

So if they want to, if they somehow convince this owner to give them the tiger, this tiger should be a jerk for a long time. That's cool. Like, yeah, they're cool, man. Like they roll every single day to see if they're like still. Yeah. If there's the alpha in the relationship. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was like, what are you up like? Respect for me. Yeah. Did you feed it a goat today? Because if not, it's mad. It's really bad. Yeah. That's a full time job. What do you do to keep it from running away last night? Oh, you tied it up. Roll that persuasion check with disadvantage.

It does want to be tied up. Are you're taking a bad care of the tiger? The tiger is actually going to take bad care of you. It's going to eat your ass. So once again, we side with the DM. Wow, this is how do the DM what is the punishment? Player is fed to a tiger in real life.

I think the player is given to a tiger as a pet. Oh, the player has to become a tiger's mount. I'd pay to see that. I go to Ringland Brothers and see that. That's getting me. That show is going to open for a click game bowl actually. All right, let's go one more case, I think. You guys ready? Yeah.

May it please the court? Turner T writes, okay, this is a question I cannot for the life of me find a straight answer to. For context, me and my friend have been doing level 21v1 when we can't get the full group together, which I think is pretty fun. In one of them recently, he played an oath of ancient's paladin, and I played a clockwork soul sorcerer.

Ancient paladins get resistance to all damage from spells, but my sorcerer has elemental adept with fire, so spells that did fire damage over came resistance to fire. We argued whether or not overcoming resistance to fire would overcome resistance to all spell damage and eventually just rolled to solve it. I lost the role, but won the fight, which I'm pretty proud of. But what do you guys think? To me, this is like when you see two characters in anime blast each other with lasers from their palms or clash their swords

and they're locked in the struggle and their sparks flying everywhere. And then it really is just the luck of the draw to see who gets the blow in. I think this is just purely luck at this point because you were so evenly matched. So like red light versus the blue light and they're going back and forth and they're just just close and then you just have to ball it out and punch each other with your fist, right? Totally. This is a really good question. And I think that asked two people who are playing players, presumably, I think you want

to rule in the favor of elemental adept, meaning that the fire damage can overcome his, like, that spells with fire damage, can overcome his resistance to all spells because as a player, if, like, that would feel shady for a DM to be like, sorry, can't use your special ability. You know, like, if it was the other way around, although then that is the person. That's, this is a real noggin tickler. This one tickled the court for sure. It confuses the court. I'm referring to the Tohms.

Yeah, it does seem like, this seems like a Jeremy Crawford answer. We're breaking out the articles. The old testament. I will say while we're looking this up, I really like the idea of doing like 20, V20, like player versus player combat. That seems very fun.

That seems like a real nice way to make up for the fact that you couldn't play with your friends. So like, it almost feels like playing magic the gathering or something. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. And that's what sparked my attention about it. It's like, oh, this is rad. You don't need an entire group. You could still roll some dice and fight your friend. That's exactly what I was thinking. And that's what sparked my attention about it. It's like, oh, this is rad. That you don't need an entire group.

You could still roll some dice and fight your friend. That's all. I think after hearing all these stories about salty DMs and players, or I guess mostly salty players, it's nice to hear a story about two friends getting along and finding a solution together for how to do this. Yeah. Yeah. I am though.

I think that this person is writing from the same place that like, that it sounds like both of them were like cool, just roll, super chill about it. But it does stick in your head and you're like, what is the fucking answer to that? I send into them to life as friends together. Yeah.

I see on red it's, there is a little debate about it and somebody cites a past. A lower court. Players handbook page 197 talking about resistance. They say for example, basically about multiple resistance is counting only as one resistance. For example, if a creature has resistance to fire damage, as well as resistance to all non-magical damage, the damage of a non-magical fire is reduced

by half against the creature not reduced by three quarters. In other words, resistance is a spell. Oh, so it's not spells and fire, it's just spells. So maybe it is just the fact that it's a spell and not the type of damage. So I actually think I have one resistance. Yeah, but I think they have resistance. I think I'm actually going to officially say that I think that the palladin would still have resistance because what they have resistance to is spells.

And that's all they have. And this person overcomes their resistance to this particular spell. No, because their thing specifically is for fire damage. Right. So they're doing a fire spell. They overcome their one resistance. They either have resistance to the spell or they don't, right? And if they do, it's just their once, they overcome it. Because it doesn't stack. I think so. I mean, I think, this is that fucking tough. Yeah, it's a tough one. All right, you know, we're gonna, this is gonna be a real vote. We're actually, I think the court is split.

I'm officially siding with the Sorcerer. I think the resistance should have been overcome. I think I sied with the Sorcerer as well because it just is maybe a little more fun to have to like because otherwise there's like nothing that could it's more fun to have abilities that then can be affected by other abilities and the other version is just like, oh, this is just yeah. I think that's right. I think like blanket resistance to all spells, that's something that should be able to be overcome by a singular sniper thing,

like just fire damage. It's not like this guy has a power that overcomes somebody's resistance to all spells. It seems like you should be able to fire something that pierces the armor. It's not like destroying it, it's just like allowing you to fire something that pierces the armor. That it's not like destroying it, it's just like allowing you to do something. Yeah. I think rules as written, I agree with the paladin, but I really like all the cases you've made

about how it improves the play and makes things more fun. So I am willing to not vote. I kind of don't want to vote either because I'm just like I don't know. Let's do the role right now to see if we roll the same thing that they rolled. Let's do the roll if it's like. Dice don't lie. This is actually how most court cases in America are solved. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't see it, but the jury goes back and when they deliberate,

deliberate means rolling dice. Everyone is assigned a D20 and $15 for lunch. I judge my effort, it's not stand for this chaos. I rule for the, I rule for the sorcerer. I want no part in this dice rolling. Okay, one through 10, it's the sorcerer. 11 through 20, it's the paladin. Jesus the court.

That's a nat one. That is so far in the favor of the sorcerer. So decidedly the sorcerer. All right then, you know what? If you're gonna have a not one or a not 20, I mean, that's the dice weighing in as firmly as they can. So I got a side with those little babies. I am here to play their game

and not the other way around. I saw you get a judge. You're merely the judges here on earth, but the dice you judge and have them. Those numbers are our jury. And court is adjourned. Court is adjourned. It sounds like y'all are both great players who found

fun to talk about it, but unfortunately, we do have to execute you with a fire beam. It's just the way I'm going to finish recording. Be like, hey, Mar if you want a roll to level 20 characters and have it Oh my god I don't want to face you. Oh, yeah, the loser Winner does get a chicken dinner though as these questions dates. Whoa Winner actually gets another hen tattoo, but it's in a cooler place

Sweet, you need as much chicken as you want while you're at the tattoo party So we need as much chicken as you want while you're at the tattoo part Awesome thanks to everybody who submitted questions that was super super fun Thank you to Jack are curating them and for being our Dungeons Bay lift We'll be back next month with another fun mix bag. We'll be back with another bunch of stuff in the you know Between times maybe a little something called campaign two. Thank you very much. What? Herb it.

Can't believe it. Herb it. Called well. Of course it's a journey. Bang that gavel. Make your dog crazy. Gavel nice day. Make your dog crazy.

Make your dog crazy. Make your dog crazy.