Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 10: Nemesis (The Ezry Chronicles with Adam Conover)

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

The party attempts to infiltrate the seedy underbelly of Ezry to track down Skullis -- a notorious R. Cane dealer and killer of Stunkbug's brother. Hardwon becomes a prize fighter, Moonshine is hellbent on stealing a little blue hat, Beverly becomes a valet, and Stunkbug comes face to face with his nemesis, who is much different than he remembers. Adam Conover joins us!Music/Sound Effects include:"Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Rowdy Crowd" by xtrgamr at Freesound.org."Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. It doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item.

It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamineve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumi Everyone.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Hardwood Surefootfoot Emily Axford Moonshan 7 getting quirky with it and Called well Tanner a pleasure as always. It's me Beverly Toggle We're gonna also be joined by Adam Connover in a little bit but first let's do a little recap on last episode So you guys wrapped things up in moonstone there was a funeral where you mourned all those lost in the battle against the barbarians,

and Scoutmaster Denny interrupted that service to announce that Beverly would be graduating. That's a place to do that. Graduating to junior Green Knight, pending that he get his animal relations badge, Beverly casts, speak with animals, and spoke with Paw Paw, who basically sounded like a methed out boomhower,

and then he got his Green Knight scale male armor. Six-leaf baby, six-leaf bitch. That's bad. Then the jamberine was back on. There was a celebration. You guys graciously gifted the dragon egg to Shay and the other druids so that they could raise the dragon to protect Moonstone.

And then we helped them open it, and it was uneventful, and then the dragon egg hatched. Yeah, that's a good one. Hold up. Hold up. During the ritual to hatch it, moonshine rolled three ones at a row. That was insane. That's a one in 8,000 chance of that happening.

Yes, somebody knows. Something like that. The best minds can't say. It was insane. But anyway, everybody works together. We're saying he's so nice about them, Dad. You guys are able to partly Mateo's fault. You guys were able to work together to wrangle the baby dragon and he finally calmed down.

You guys said you're goodbyes to the people of Moonstone and you left for Galatoron. Especially Shay, we'll miss her the most. Goodbye Shay. She liked you guys by the end just so you know. Yeah, I got some good tussles from her. Yeah. So you guys left for Galatoron, Beverly got a note from his father, congratulating him for doing an adequate job on becoming a six-leaf green team.

Such a sad phrase, a stern congratulation. It just like immediately tells you what's up. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. Yeah, the note said... And I was jealous. You know your dad is, man. The note said to hurry home to glateron. So you guys made your way north,

but along the way, you stopped off in Esri, the magic city, and a hub of arcane research. There's an arcane force field bubble around the center of the city where the rich people live, but the outer rim is full of wild magic addicts who are going crazy from a drug called arcane. You guys met Adam's character, Stunkbug,

and Ork Bounty Hunter, who was outcapturing these wild magic addicts and bringing them to the police barracks within the bubble. Stunk Bug brought you guys into the bubble with him. He's a very fancy Ork. He is Ork Frazier. He is Ork Frazier. He had a turtle neck.

Stunk Bug got a lead from Captain Oswald, the police captain, who let him know that his arch enemy scullished the drug dealer who killed his brother, would be present at an underground fight ring at a rough and tumble bar outside of the bubble. So before leaving, you guys stopped by the lab with the arcane scientist, Professor Dutdle. He hooked you up with some cool magic items, then you made your way to the bone and barrel to try to infiltrate the fight ring and find Scullis. So we're going to join the party and add him as you guys leave the bubble and approach

the bar. Let's do this. There's nothing better than Esri. It was good playing with you all. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. So let's pick up from where we left off. You guys had just left Professor Duttles to head to the fight ring in the basement of the Bonenbarrel tavern,

which is in the outer rim of the city. So you guys leave the bubble. Suddenly things instantly get a little shadier and more dangerous. You keep your heads down trying to be inconspicuous, but some ruffian start cat calling you, like really going in on Beverly. Yeah, the bubble boy.

Hi, you leaving the bubble, huh? That's very uncalled for. Beverly, those men wish to have sex with you. Let's keep moving. We don't want to, we just want the fireballs at him. I'll pray for you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Yeah, babe, they're super horny.

Better than the work we do. I ask this guy, we live inside them all. I ask Moon Shine, if she has any extra clothes or something I could kind of drape over myself. I quickly do them up like a skull roommate. All right. All right. I just get to this bar, the bone and barrel. You enter through a cloud of smoke to allow rowdy bar.

You see people smoking strange pipes with multi-colored powders in the bowl. One guy takes a puff and immediately his tongue lights on fire and he rushes out of the room. You see a lot of... I'm gonna put a handle it. You see a lot of cancus that are this raven-like species that are about the size of halflings sitting in the booths You see that there's one wearing an ornate orange robe that seems to be holding court over several others You see orcs you see tabaxi those are like big cat people these big powerful like panther type people Oh, man, this is just deviant art. You see yeah, I want to see this so bad

Oh man, this is just deviant art. You see, yeah, I want to see this so bad. Just some sexy cat people. You guys see that there's also like human pirates and stuff. You see shady people of all sorts. And then there's this goblin bartender. He's wearing a little blue hat. You see all of the waiters? You see all of the waiters?

It's more badass than a little blue hat. All of the waiters and stuff have these weird little blue hats on. Oh, I like that. They're like little Derby's. They're blue hats. I would like to stealth. I would like to stealth to steal a little blue hats on. They're like little Derby's. They're blue hats. I would like to steal a little blue hat, a little blue Derby. I'd like to try and stealth back into the employee area. No, I grab moonshine.

We specifically said we're not gonna cause any trouble. You see a little goblin that is sitting by himself in the corner, looking like Super Shakey, just like, kind of crazy. You see this goblin bartender, you see this big, hulking pirate dude goes up and sits at the bar, he's a human.

And those are kind of the people who stand out. The rest of them are, you know, you see Orcs and cat people and such. Okay, so I whisper to everybody where we're trying to do is there's an underground fight ring in the basement and we know Skulls is gonna be there. That's all we know.

We need to find out where he's gonna be and how we can take care of him without causing a ruckus. Right, how do we get down into the basement? Tell you what, if I grab one of these little blue bowlers, I'll look like an employee and I can say, ah, I just grab a tray of drinks and be like, shit, I gotta get this to the basement. Okay, can you do that without causing a request?

You immediately notice that all of the way it's staff are like goblins and cancus and stuff. I'm immediately bail on my plan. I'm gonna go, I think that we should go approach the cancu in the orange robe. So I'm gonna go over and be like, hey y'all, how's your evening going? They all look at you dubiously.

And not the one with the orange robe. In terms of you and goes, can we help you? Actually, I was talking to your friend here. I am just in awe of that robe. I mean, the color is so vibrant. Did you go to Renee? This Kanku stands up and looks at you and says, what business do you have with Riva?

Are you Riva? I am not Riva. Riva is the one in the orange robe. What business do you have with Riva? My business is, I find him fascinating. Riva is a woman. Oh, my Laura, I am questioning everything. Sister, I am so sorry.

I saw a person of power and I made a gendered assumption and I am ashamed. That's on you. I know that's on me and I feel that shame. I'm just gonna slink back. My friends can talk to you if they so wish But I need some um this can't go just turns to you stunk bug. What a business do you have with refund? Stunk bug when you hear the name riva. Oh, yeah, you recognize that name. You've been tracking scullis This is one of his dealers. I'll say I'm bounty hunter trying to hunt down one of his customers that

Took a bad took a bad dose of arcane and went crazy. So you're working for school us You know what I bail from the conversation This is something that we've seen me do before when I'm what I'm tongue tied what he's trying to walk away What he's trying to say is that we're we so far you guys have approached this table of this powerful drug dealer moonshine made a gendered assumption Then block shanked herself and walked away Stunk bug told an obvious lie back fiddled and then walks away Still hard one in Beverly or just standing there and now they're gonna give it a try

I don't know these two. I'll try to buy my ass a Marcan. There you go. And I'm a big guy and I need a lot. Take a seat. Why thank you, Osis. Can I do something in the meantime? Yes. Can I use my investigation bounty hunter skills to just sort of case the joint and look for

hidden entrances or, you know, like, back rooms or like, have I seen any motion people motioning? One kind of strange thing you notice is that the pirate that was at the bar, he takes his drink and then he walks off into like a corner. He's not sitting at a table or whatever. He's just going and standing in the corner by himself. So, um, hard one, Beverly, you guys sit down at the table with the cancus. Hey, I heard there was a fight. I'm just trying to get fucked up and watch some wrestling. Why did you hear there was a fight?

You didn't know where I heard there was a fight. Where'd you hear there was a fight? Are you a cop? Do I look like a cop? Hard one is so much better at this than me. Give me a persuasion check or a deception check, whichever one's better for you. 16.

16, pretty good. All right. I open my beard to show I'm not wearing a wire. Okay. That's her doors were wires in the beard. Yeah. So you do our cane, you want it to buy our cane. Yeah. You have gold? Of to buy our cane. Yeah.

You have gold? Of course I got gold. Okay. I hold up a big back of gold. Don't show the bulls you back. Sorry sir. The whole bar turns around. As if done in stinks.

Okay, well, if you'd like to buy some arcane, maybe we'll give you a little sample and you do it in front of us. Just a... Really gonna make me waste some of my supply. Am I paying for this? No, it's free. Free bump? Free bump. Sure.

What is arcane, I would know what arcane does. You know that somebody like Riva is going to have the good stuff, which is basically like the color of the powder relates to the type of temporary ability you get, and it's still unstable, but just doing it once, you'll probably be okay. It's when you get like the mixed shit that you seriously get fucked up. I guess it comes be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be-

And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be-

And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be-

And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- And the spouts be- Alright, I lose a little bit on the way up, but... Your nose burns as you snort the drug and suddenly fire fills your veins. That's a good shit. You snort it up. So the way Arcane works is you get a random first level spell, depending on what type you take. So you took a red type, so that's fire type.

So you have the spell, Hellish Rebuke. Oh, that's a fun one. You have that spell for one hour. So you have two first level spell slots now. Whenever you cast it, you're gonna roll for a wild magic surge and Crazy shit will happen if you get a one through a five. Usually the way wild magic sorcerers work It's only if you get a one, but this is a one through a five. You can also, instead of using your Hellish Rebuke spell, you can also choose to just have it manifest through your weapon and do an extra 2D6 of fire damage. But you will get a wild magic surge.

Sweet. Which means that you'll roll and something weird will also in addition have. Oh, that's great. And you're into a coutoulu or something like that. And you that's great. And you're into a cut through lieu or something like that. And you know Stunk Bug, you're watching this. You know from this little bump? He'll be fine.

If he does it again, there will be a chance that when his wild magic surges, that he will explode and die. Oh, okay. Okay, so I keep it to one. Ha, okay, so you take it. Let's cut over to Stunkbug. Do I recognize the pirate?

You do not recognize the pirate, but do you want to kind of like stealthy keep an eye on him? Yeah, can I like make another investigation check? Sure. And just keep an eye on the guy? Yeah. Okay, great. Ooh, I got 22 cool

So you see there are people walking past you what you kind of Blend in with the crowd and look over you see this guy is in the corner of the room by himself He takes a sip of his drink and melts And falls through the floorboards Like he like he knelt like candle, like he gets all goopy. Yep, he like Alex Mack out of there. Okay, so he's not dead. I was like, oh, he went down there.

So he, so what happens to his cup? Still there. Is there liquid in it? It spilled, it spilled on the ground. Can I, can I put some in the glass room with it my hand like, oh, sure. I'm just fucking, you're in a gumball. You're trying to convince yourself you're not

by your own glass. Yeah, you're able to get a thimble full of this weird liquid back in your glass. I've got it in the glass, and I just look around. I hopefully nobody noticed my weird alcoholic behavior. Nobody's paying attention now. Okay, good. Well, this is happening.

Can I be stealthing around like looking for a door, a trap door, or something like that? There's behind the bar. It looks like there's a little back where would you like to roll a stealth room? We love getting behind the bar.

Yeah. The bar back, the band of bar back. Are you casting past without trace or something? You're going to die if you get caught going behind the bar. Well, I'm just saying this isn't a TGI side is. You can't just walk into the back.

So you can do that at TGI front. A 17. Yeah, because I have advantage on stilthrokes. You're probably okay. Let's see what the bartender gets. A net one. Oh, thank my lord. The bartender is done one arcane.

Someone drops a glass and the bartenders like, fuck. You snuck around back. You see this back area that has barrels and stuff with all the ale and the different drinks and stuff. And you do see a staircase down to a basement. Are there any of those hats around? Any of the blue bowlers? Go ahead and do an investigation check.

You really just want one of those hats. Eight. You're not able to find anything here. Is there anyone around? There's no one in the back right now. I would like to stealth down. Cool, you go down to where you would expect the basement door to be.

There's a door there. You open the door. There's a concrete wall and it says staff only written on the wall. A hold up, a staff. There you go. She still have the intelligence one. Nope, there's just moonshine.

No, it is not a pun. It is not a pun trick. Speak, friend, and enter. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Are there any cracks in the concrete? It's just a concrete wall. Smooth concrete wall. Do you want to go ahead and give me an arcana check or something?

Yeah. Yeah, check that corner. Ooh. 18. This a fucking magic wall. Yeah. Woo, so how does one do something about that? I'm gonna go back and meet up with that.

Okay, cool. I would like to excuse myself from the table. Okay. I say I have to go to the bathroom. I kind of clap my hand on hard-run shoulder and say like, you handle the rest of this. One of these Kanku's sitting next to the main one, whose name is Riva.

Riva. Says, okay, 10 gold per vial. How much do you want? 10 gold per vial, really? You're gonna do me dirt like that. Do you want the good stuff or do you want to go crazy like these maniacs out on the street? I'll get fine, 10 gold. If you want to buy the shitty stuff, you go to the cancos. I'll give you 10 gold, but just tell me how to get to the fucking store. Sorry, who do you talk to for the shitty stuff? This can't go points to the jittery. I got a mooch and no no no you don't want the shitty stuff

I'll tell you I buy a vile hand him 10 gold coins and do a vile of red arcane. I Chuggle thing Appreciate it. Now, how do we get into this underground fight thing? Finally, Riva speaks up. This can't go in this orange robe. She looks you up and down and says, do you fight?

I don't answer with words. I just sort of flex my fries up. I could help you get in if you can promise me that I can make some money off of you. Oh shit. That's a compliment. Am I going to make some money too? I'd like to earn back these 10 gold pieces. You in tonight, you'll get more than just your 10 gold back.

All right, let's do it, but I don't go anywhere without my friends, they're going to have to come with me. I am, I walk back over, and I say, sir, is there anything I can do for you? I'm his valet. I don't go anywhere without my valet. You made a roll? All right. I'll do deception, baby. Sure.

Why would you... He was gonna let us in. You volunteered to roll, and you only rolled two. You don't need to roll. You you volunteered to roll and you only roll to us. You don't need to roll. You don't need to roll. You don't need to roll. No, I don't roll it. No, I want you to do no. There's too much buildup.

Yeah, you got to roll now. That's a 20-bit. Oh, my God. He got a nat 20. Jesus. That's a nat 20. Wow, you got your own bubble boy. Bubble boy.

Bubble bubble bubble boy. This man man this man Stole me from my home in the bubble and he's he's raised me as his own and you thought I was a fucking cop And I would never go anywhere without him He's taught me how to fight and he's teaching me how to live my own life And that's really all we do. There's nothing beyond that This is what you're gonna do. Can walk up to the bartender. You're gonna order the house special. He's gonna say, we don't have a house special. I'll make something special for you.

How are you feeling? You say I'm feeling down. You drink the drink, and that'll get you down to the basement. All right, let's go, guys. Yes, sir. You guys walk up to the bar, this little goblin. Hard of him forgot everything. I'll have the Riva special.

What are you talking about? Ah three elevens down Does someone else want to order for him? Please you moonshine, okay, who the fuck? He's laying out hi. What that our king is peaking right now For the house special how special we don't have a house special here, but I could Fix you for up something special what? How you feeling? I'm feeling really down Oh my god, no shine. Are you crying? Oh, yeah, are all four of you feeling down? Yo, yeah, very now our our gram gram died our green

Okay, four-way funeral. Yeah Fix you up the only way to funeral This guy goes back he goes all the way into the back. Uh-huh walks back out. He's got four Frothy yellow drinks Y'all can I Instagram this? Can I roll geotag it? I rolled a seat. there's piss in this? Sure, okay.

That's another net 20. What a way to do that. There is a little bit of goblin piss in this. Why the fuck is it not a piss? Why the fuck does this keep happening? I keep having the best rolls on the dumbest shit. Look, here's the thing. We don't know if the goblin piss is part of the magical ingredient that makes it very true

He may have just pissed in your drink because he doesn't like you know We can't tell which one it is we're gonna have to drink the goblin piss It's just the slightest hint of goblin piss. I sniff it and say is there piss in this? No, no, it's he doesn't think there's piss in it. No, sir There's piss there's piss in it, but keep it quiet, because this drink isn't, just fucking drink the drink. Okay, I had gator piss, crack piss, possum piss, prawn piss, prawn piss.

I've already finished my drink. You got to see a fucking hard one in stunk bug melt. You're still listening, I'll be pissed to do that. You're still listening up to piss to do that. Give me out of here. So Moonshine and Ben, you're standing there while Moonshine lists the piss. I want you to go through the floor and then come back up still starting off piss.

I look at the bartender and say, I'm sorry, but I'm only gonna be able to give you 15% tip for that. And I do put the corresponding tip on the bar, and then I set my drink. More than the whole. I also, I give him a little business card. When we were traveling here, I took a bunch of leaves, and I made little business cards for my traveling

musical act. And I say, if you ever look in for a pinlor. You see he just grabs the cup from you. Opens your mouth. I go down saying dog players to have fans. You melt through the floor. Beverly, have you had the, yeah I drank it. You drank it. You guys all melt through the floor boards. Stunk bug and hard one, you're already down there. You've already reformed. You were shocked and appalled when it first happened,

but you've been waiting for a long time, as Mojang just talked about his for a while. Suddenly, I read material I say, even human piss. Mojang, goop falls from the ceiling. So I'm sorry, I was talking to a conversation, then I, okay. They reform. You guys are in this hallway. Moonshine, you can kind of deduce that this is the other side of that wall.

You see your, at the end of, at the end of like a hallway. I tell them the story about staff only and how I try to raise my staff. That's pretty good. She wasn't kidding. So you hear echoes of a fight and some rowdy cheering. All right. I got to get in the ring. So, Clark, do you see the entrance back to the kitchen? I just want to know you don't. It's just a stone wall. Hard one, come to me. Would you rather have constitution or strength? I already have a

shit ton of strength. Let's go constitution. Okay, I give hard one a very sensual kiss on the lips. Wow. And he's been waiting for this a long time, but he was still surprised. And in doing so, I am part to him bears endurance. You get a temporary 2d6 hit points for an hour and you have an advantage on all Constitution checks. Nice. Roll, roll to d6. Two and a four Constitution checks. Nice. Roll, roll, 2d6. Two.

And a four. Cool, right? So an extra six hit points. Wait, Adam, so Scullis killed Ork Niles. but he was very stupid and lived in literal shit, but he could have been your Niles if he could have undergone the Wizard Tree. I know, and I regret that every day. You hear a loud cheer in the other room. Okay, so I say to them, I say to these guys, okay, again, we're just gonna go in,

we're just patronizing the fight, he's gonna fight, and we're gonna scope out and look for Scullis. Again, we all have passed without trade, so feel free to stealth, we've got plus 10 dollar overall. So you guys get into this room where everyone is cheering. It's this big dank basement with stone walls and stone floors. There's a rowdy crowd of people watching two people fight. You see the pirate guy who you saw upstairs stunk bug is stabbing the shit out of another guy with his dagger.

You see people have red and blue tickets to denote who they place their bets on. You see there's one cancou in a little blue hat, handling gold and dealing with the bets. Suddenly you see the pirate guy rip the other guy's throat out and start swinging it around like it's mortal combat. And the crowd goes nuts. You quickly realize that this is no normal fight club. So Riva enters from behind and approaches you hard one. Are you ready to fight? I fight for Riva. Riva walks over to another canku who seems to be running the show. He was in the circle with the fighters in the last fight, sort of the referee. He calls you over hard one. Before he goes in, I do want to cast Shiloh Faith on him to give him extra AC. Okay. Okay. You got extra HP, extra AC.

Our boys extra right now. Very extra. Would that put to it my AC? Yes. Plus, extra AC. Our boys, extra right now. You're extra. Very extra. Would that put to my AC? Yes, plus two bonus AC. You look a bar on my cloak for this fight, and extra AC. So, yeah, throw your cloak on my chest. Oh, nice. That'll be 19.

I do want to mention that it is a shimmering field and the field does look like my face. Oh, awesome. It's the big shining smiley face. This cancou waves for you to come in. I'm walking in. Hard one walks in. You see people start booing, because he's not a fan favorite. Nobody knows him yet.

Good. But I fucking soak it up like the rock did when he was on Vince McMahon's side. I like it. I play on the fiddle. Meeting my chest. I play like an immigrant song by a lead film called Little Teenie. Yeah, damn. Oh, shit.

D-me-me-me. Yeah, yeah. I need entrance music. Roll a performance check. Goddamn it. If you roll a 20, I'll give him party inspiration. But you have to roll a Nat 20. I got an 14.

No, you just play a 40. You get into the center and the cancou yells. Place your bets. Place your bets. One-eyed Ryan or what's your name? Hard one fucking short but hard one short for her one-eyed Ryan and one-eyed Ryan goes a bet on me is a Shore-bits. I'm one-eyed Ryan points points of the right-of-space I can't help that my name is Ryan

You got bad death perception man. Hey fuck off buddy. I'm gonna kill you What is Riva? I watch you was Riva what is it how's Riva then you see that people are placing bets with the canku has the little blue hat on He's taking gold and giving out red or blue tickets depending on who everyone is betting on hard one is the new Commer so he's in the blue corner with the blue tickets you see Riva has one of her henchmen place a bet on hard one in the blue corner with the blue tickets. You see, Riva has one of her henchmen place at Bet on Hard one, but most of the people bet on One-eyed Ryan. You see a lot of red tickets. It's three to one odds against Hard one.

I'm not good, 20 gold on Hard one. Nope. Mateo. Yeah, I'll bet 20 on my side. Okay, the bets are all placed. So the Kanku ref gets between Hard one and One-eyed Ryan and holds his hands up. I want a good clean fight.

Or I guess it doesn't need to be good or clean. Touch clubs if you want to. Touch hands! I'm good. One at Ryan spits some blood at you. Oh. This can't keep a hold of his hand, it says, let's get it on!

Roll initiative. I can't believe it took you so many episodes to do a wrestling match. 10. 10. You do not go first. Fair enough. Cool.

Sky Swings on you. He comes at you with with his dagger and he misses with his first attack. He takes his second attack and he hits Does he? All right, 19. He rolled a 16 and he gets a plus 4 to hit so he got a Four damage go ahead. So you also are high on fucking arcane right now. You feel like fire pulsing into your hands. I didn't even feel the fucking die. So you can cast your spell as an action, or you can do a regular attack and do this flame

burst that's 2 extra D6, but then you suffer the effects of the arcane. Sweet. I think I'm gonna do the fire. Cool. Do your regular attack first to see if you hit That's a 19 that hits oh, yeah, so do your damage and then roll your take out his other eye 12 12 damage yeah, you slash into this dude and then you're gonna do the extra 2d 6. Yeah, I'm gonna do the extra 2d 6 cool Roll the extra 2d 6

4 so 16 huh 16 damage damn as the blade cuts in him There's this explosion of fire and the crowd goes crazy. They weren't expecting this shit. They started trying to place new bets yet No, not yet. That's already locked. That's already locked. I need you to roll a d20. Oh, is this a constitution check? Nope That is a nat five. Whoa. You feel the fucking magic surging in you and here's what happens. It's always something good. Oh wow. Yeah. All of a sudden The entire crowd goes invisible. Every one in the room goes invisible except for you.

Jesus Christ. To us as well. It is not reverse invisibility. You just everyone goes invisible. You guys can still see. He's the only one. One I'd Ryan can see you. One I'd Ryan.

You guys see one I'd Ryan sneak up behind him and you can't figure out why hard one's not doing it. Can we shout it hard one I Want to use my arcana to see if I can figure out what I'm going on sure call I got a 20 not next 20 cool. You see his pupils are like crazy dilated. Oh, he's like tripping He's tripping out right now. Yeah, can we just shout behind you?

He's out behind you, but there's a crazy fucking crowd. This dude hits, this dude, all of a sudden appears behind you and stabs you with his dagger for six damage. And then he takes another swing. And he hits. Again, he hits over a 19 again. Yes, because he's rolling with advantage, because he snuck up behind Harfair.

So he hits for another five damage. I almost feel like the drugs weren't worth. Now it is your turn. I'm gonna just jump and helicopter my great axe. This dude, you can see him now. He came out once he stabbed you. The crowd is still invisible though. Oh, okay, okay.

Cool, I really do it. I just hope to focus. That's true. Yeah, as ever see the perfect game with Kevin Costner. Nope. No, but if he ate well, yeah, he would say, what did he say? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Here we go.

That is a 21. That hits. Nice. Yeah, bitch. That is a 16. 16 damage. Yeah. Fuck.

And then for your extra 2d6, or Oh, shit. Then I'm going to do those extra 2d's. He's dead with 16 damage I want to just look oh wait I still not see the audience you can't see the audience all right wherever you guys are You're all dead broke now and then I'm just fucking taking the tip of my getaxe and it's shoving it through this dude's other eye There's no eyed Ryan now. No eyed Ryan, no eyed Ryan is super dead. Hard one, hard one, hard one.

I can't hear it, I can't hear it. You see invisible room of people chanting my name. She dreams. Some people are cheering, but most of the people are pretty fucking upset because they just lost a bunch of money. You guys just tripled your money. Anybody who put 20 gold down now has 60 gold. You just made some money.

I cast, I want to get, this is maybe unnecessary. I was going to say I got cast, minor illusion to make it look like I had bet far more on hard one. Why not? It's a risk. If you get caught cheating, it's like getting caught. I'm not, there's no reason for me to cheat at this point. I, the thought goes briefly through my mind,

but I'm here to eviscerate sculless. Cool, yeah. So you guys are standing there. You see, hard one has just killed this dude. That was kind of clean and how, he probably beat a few dudes for these people to be so confident that they were betting on him three to one. So you see, there aren't really challengers stepping up

and a stunk bug. You look in the hallway. And you see Skullis walk in with two tabaxi guys with them. You guys don't know this is a Skullis. Are you gonna tell them stunk bug? I'll give them a little, a little. You make it a little gesture. Make it a little gesture. Oh god, I wish I wish we knew how sexy.

Then I want to stealth around them and try and hear their conversation. Okay. You see this big buff white cat man who's got these black fur patches that look like X's on his neck. This is really hard for me. I don't think I can fight a cat. Yeah. And he's got like a tiger looking dude and like a panther looking dude standing next to him. You see they're pulling along with them. This crazed, no like dog man.

Whoa. This crazy looking dude. You're gonna have to fucking fight him. I can't fight a dog man, sorry. And you see a skullis Shouts out. We've got your challenger and The whole room gets quiet skullis takes out a big pouch of gold to bet on the knoll and he

crosses his arms And he stands there and there's a a moment of quiet and intimidation. And then finally, the canku, who was kind of running stuff, goes, all right, take, take and bets, place your bets. Okay, I want to do, I'm going to use minor illusion to give myself, which is a can trip, that I'm to put down an equally big stack of gold.

And then I want to say to, I I'm gonna say to Scullis, how about I'll match your bet on hard one, and I wanna make it even more interesting. If hard one wins, I wanna fight you. Oh, that's too low. That's so good. I love it. Make a persuasion or an intimidation check.

I shape water to make a rain over his. Wow, my charisma is not good. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult! Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, bird dogs invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother make sure you are

wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show. Um, I rolled a... I see double digits. Uh, tin, I guess, yeah.

He laughs and the entire circle like everyone in the room starts laughing. Can I, and he puts his hand on your shoulder, and he says, if your friend survives, we'll talk, how about that, huh? I try to act tough. Yeah, that sounds like that would be adequate. Thank you very much. All right, kid.

He pinches your cheek. Oh boy. He's not drinking anything. He's not drinking anything. You see, he just crosses his arms, and you see the guys with him, the tabaxi with him, He's not drinking anything. He's not drinking anything. You see he just crosses his arms. And you see the guys with him, the tabaxi with him. You see they do little bumps of this arcane stuff,

but he doesn't take any. He just stands there with his arms crossed. Can we bet on hard one? You can sure as hell bet on hard one. I'm going to toss my bowl. I put down an illusionary bag. Hot and illusionary bag. Last a minute, so I hope the fight is short.

Sure. Yeah, I'll do 50 on hard one. Okay. I'm going to put my entire patch on myself. This cancou referee gets between you guys. He says, all right, touch hands if you guys want. We're good. Touch hands. No, then I'll spit at your hands. You know what I do like when they touch hands. I think it's more sportsmen like. Okay, roll initiative hard one. Can I?

22. Murphy, is there anyone in the ring with the other than the ref? Like, do they have training? No, I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I think it's more sportsmen like okay roll initiative hard work Can I 22? Murphy's there anyone in the ring with the other than the ref like do they have trainers or coaches or anything? No, it's just a circle. Okay, so I couldn't like walk in with a towel and be like oh, I'm his trainer You could walk yeah, you can walk to the edge of the circle and yell that you're his trainer. Is there anyone else? I don't know where my bits so that I can do my bit

Considering considering you already established yourself as ballet. That's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at.

I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at.

I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. I know where he's at. for four damage. Okay, so don't get to draw. You just kicks you in the head. Do you wanna ask again? Don't get to roll deception on that, huh? Okay, I guess I'll just take my kick.

I really find it more like a safety, that's your second concussion. That is my second concussion. I'll just take my kick. So you see, Riva goes and she puts her gold pouch on your side. And you see this in the back. I wake up. She knows.

You rolled initiative and you rolled higher, so you go first. That is a 15? Yes, 50. Just hits. Go ahead and roll your damage. You haven't used your second drug thing. Oh, yeah I think I might because my damage was oh wait no one plus you can roll reroll your one. Oh, that's right You have very weapon fighting and that time it was an 11 plus 16 17 and then maybe do you slash into this dude? Yeah, should I do the fire thing? I think would you like to do it? Yeah, I might as well

Roll an extra D2 D6. Five. Three, eight. Dope. So you did 25 days. You're slashing to this dude. The axe cuts into his shoulder and then fire explodes out of it.

And he lets out this loud howl. And it's just so furious. You do a lot of damage to him. Go ahead and roll a D20. Let's see if there's wild magic. Yeah. You're a dog, you know him. Go ahead and roll a D20. Let's see if there's wild magic surge. Yeah. You can do it, dog, you know. That was two.

Oh my goodness. Let's roll and see what happens to you. Jesus. All I had to do was not roll a one through five. Yeah. Huh. Damn it. Damn it.

You did the thing. Hard one suddenly grows a long beard made of feathers. You're a beard. I already had a long beard. You're a beard? Your beard. You're a beard. You're a beard. Your beard turns into feathers. Is that it? Oh man. Yeah.

Wait, how the beard of feathers? Wait, Murph. Yeah. How attracted to hard one is Riva currently. Oh, I got that further. Yeah. She seems Han bothered by it. Are we not going to roll for her?

I'll roll for her horny-ness. She got a 15. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's pretty fucking horning. What is the Kankajoo and their Han bother? The bird-fair is going to be on you. You don't fuck her right, though.

They start preening. Woo! So this snow, I lift the Iron Deep Mountains, and I have the only person I get laid with is a bird. You see, this snow pulls out a vial of like this mixed powder of all different colors. He pours it on his hand like a ton and snorts it all. No dogs, noes are so sensitive. And he goes at you with his claws for a 15.

That's not hit. No, it's not. He goes to swing at you again. And gets a 19 does a 19 hit 19 just okay Dang you roll so well, I'm earth good job. Good job, Merve Good job, Merve. I'll proud of you guys. I'm up days. You know me. He's maybe waiting back there behind that green He slashes you for for seven damage and then out of his claws. There's this for seven damage, and then out of his claws, there's this burst of crazy energy. It's fucking cold, and then it's hot for six damage, and then he's gonna roll for his wild magic service.

What if he also gets a beard of father? He rolled in 18, so nothing happened. Great, he's just... Can I roll Arcona to identify the power he... Sure. So nothing happened. Right. Can I roll Arkana to identify the kind of power he... Sure. Yeah, go ahead. Um, it would be a 21.

This dude is snorting the bad stuff. He is using like the wild magic addict. Merf, what kind of dog is he? He's... Like a good dog. No, like what breed? He's like a pig dog man. So like a pit bull. Like a moblin from Zelda. There you go. Exactly like a pig dog man. So like a pit bull.

Like a moblin from Zelda. There you go. Exactly like a moblin from Zelda. I'm almost too much like a moblin from Zelda. Hard one, your turn. Yeah, almost like. Oh wait, there's a man in a suit with legal papers at the door. Come in.

The man in the suit rolled a one. I rolled a 16. 16, that hits. Oh yeah. It's a 16. 16. That hits. Oh, yeah. It's a 13. 13. I can't wait to watch our friend kill a dog. He's still you explode him. He's he's right fucked up. You know what? Then I'm gonna use my fucking action search. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You might kill this guy before he gets to do any crazy shit. Good. The best thing to do is to let the DM down fuck me 11 11 He's swing and he dodges out of the way and cackles. He pulled out another vile

Snorts it like a fucking crazy person I shout this ain't a fair fight That's right this dude's too strong Everyone says shut up! That's right, this dude's too strong! Oh, you see, this dude shoots at you with a ray of fire. He shoots at you once. My father's! And he misses. You dodge some of your feathery beard and I get sput up.

He shoots another beam of fire. I love your feathery beard. And he misses. Yeah, that's the fucking night's beard. It goes away. Oh! That's that fucking night. See, he's going away. Oh. That's that shimmering shield. That's that cloak.

Yeah. And he misses the last one, but your feathery beard does burn off. Oh no. And you're clean shaving now. You have no beard. Oh my god. Your beard is gone.

He's got his horse leg. He missed three times. Now he's gone. Oh, my god. He hit the beard. Now he's going to roll his wild magic search, which is even worse now. And this dude, you just see energy fill up and you see the tabaxi like skull isn't shit. Just start back at the whole crowd starts backing up. Take cover. Oh dear. Okay, yeah, I know what's

gonna happen, right? I tell everyone to cover. Yo, what are doing hard? I'm doing it. I cover back. Can I cast? I want to cast I have lightning lure which is a spell that I create a lash of lightning energy strikes at one creature of your choice. I pull them up to 10 feet in a straight line towards you. Oh, you're pulling a hard one. I will totally allow that out of the way. Grab hard one. You pull them out of the way. He fucking blows up in a burst of multi-colored energy. He kills several cancels and like people around not really edges not re-but no she knows to back up. She backs up. Yeah, you're selling in that big job. There's this hushed I've only fucked birds on this trip. There's this hushed quiet in the room now Moonshine breaks it by being like hard what hard what hard what hard what hard what what your foot the envy of Esri

The feather beard The bird to be my goal Roll a charisma check like a performance check. That's it too. But I get a plus. Plus two. Yeah, so that's a four. Can I just be like,

I can I can I please just try to dip, breathe and kiss her. Yeah. You start performing. You go to dip, breathe and you see some of the cancus just hold their hands out to be like, it's not the time. No man. So you guys are cheering for a hard one,

but everyone else is completely quiet. You see people looking up at Skullis who does not look pleased, he's got his arms crossed. The canku who has been managing the bets, just kind of quietly disperses the winnings out to everyone. So I go up to Skullis and say, you wanna talk now? Oh, hell yeah. By the go up to skulls and say, you wanna talk now? Oh hell yeah. By the way, I just, I have, I put 97 gold pieces

on myself for that. Oh shit. You get five times that. That's bad. Oh my god. I put 20 so that means I have 100 right? Yeah, I got 150. I put illusionary coins down, they disappeared like 10 minutes.

So finally, Skullus pipes up. Everyone out. Except for you two, and he points to hard one in stunk bug. Munchan pretends to leave, but she stealths it. Okay. So Munchan makes a big move. Does Beverly also have a stealth? Yeah, we're supposed to.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna roll stealth checks. I make like a big like, okay. The people stealthing never roll. They have they have plus 10 to stealth because they did pass without Okay, okay, okay, okay I got 16 twice because I have advantage on sell throw so I got 14 plus 10 24 dope. Yep. Oh, we have 26 plus oh my god Okay, yeah, so good so you see everyone else files out they go down that hallway a bunch of people put on these little blue hats and they're able to Can I slide a hand a blue hat? What you like to also do to do okay? Roll a side of hand and we fucking dissuaded Emily from the blue hat

That's 11 11, okay? Who are you going for just the weakest? four. Just the weakest book. Leake is looking to, okay, some stupid little goblin is walking along. Look at that, really. And he rolled, I kid you not, he rolled in at one. He just walks along, he ripped the hat right off of him, he walks into, he just keeps walking into the wall. Like James Bond, 007.

What the fuck would have happened? You see, he just like, oh, I lost my hat and he joins one of his friends, he grabs his hand and they walk through together. So sweet, I finally got one of those blue baller hats. Nice, it looks good on you. It's a derby, all right? Learn the difference between the hats. You haven't learned anything about fashion.

So Beverly and Moonshine are hiding right now. Hard one in Stunk Bug. You are now in this basement space with Skullis, his two Tabaxi bodyguard guys, Riva and her right hand cancuguy. Skullis turns to Riva and says, this is your guy and he points to hard one. She looks up at him and says, he's your guy for the right price. Skullis laughs and says, all right, I'll take him and he hands her a little pouch of gold.

So I guess now you're one of my guys, huh? You're a user and I don't like that because I'm straight ed, you're okay, really. I get high on life. You get high on life. Oh my God. But you make people fight to death. I like gambling.

I get high on watching people kill each other. I see. Wait a minute, Murr, I think drugs are a healthier habit to be honest. I think we should remember this dude. You have a memory of this dude snorting a line of blue arcane. Yeah. I'm shooting lightning into your brother.

Yeah. Um, so he says, guess we're in business now. You're going to be one of my guys. How's that sound? Riva. I'm one of your guys. We work together. Riva, you're really not going to stand up from me right now. She turns to you.

She turns to you, stunk bug. And says, are you this guy's manager? Yes. I'm his manager. You work for me now. In what way? How do we work for you? So are you really going to go work for the guy?

No, what's your proposition? Make a proposition. This isn't a negotiation, all right? You know what? On second thought, we don't need any middleman, okay? Hard ones my fighter, but we don't need you, orc. And you see the tabaxi and the cancou start surrounding Stunkbuck. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Should we just kill all these guys? Yeah, I do like it. There's only four of them. I work, I'm trying to figure out like, I'm just trying to think about stunk bugs plan. If I had a dagger, I would just start the fight. Probably. Hard to wait, Surefoot works for no one, but himself,

and Riva. Okay, are we doing this? Yeah, we're doing this. Okay, so the first thing I want to do before combat start, like they're surrounding me, I want to cast Sleep on the guys surrounding me. Cool, everybody roll initiative, and we'll see who gets to go first.

But I want to do it before initiative. They know they're about to fight you. No. But initiative hadn't started, I got a 17. I got a three. I rolled a 12. I got three too. You know what, I I rolled a 12. I got three too. You know what?

I'm also kind of, I'm gonna chuck my, uh, a duttle potion. Oh, that just restores my shit, right? Yeah. Can it grow my beard back? On your turn, you can do that. Fine. Okay.

But I wanted to grow my beard back. These two-to-backsy henchmen, guys. Mm-hmm. Pull out vials. Oh, they're good. Oh, they're good. Just ignored them. One guy's got like a blue one and one once guys got a red one they go after they were

Straight edge the only guy who said he was straight edge was skullist and he was lying No, he's not lying. He's got the oh wait. He he you saw him snort some shit before I'll say you're not straight edge I saw you do drugs right before you killed my brother And I think that sounds cool, but it probably doesn't. I realize that's cool. I don't know who you are, man. If I killed your brother, I did it clear headed. Because I am straight edge, bro. I have not had a bump of the stuff.

That's what you're planning for. That's our plan to memory in your head of him killing your brother. This guy a hundred percent. Can I just say, your skull is right? Your name is skull is. My name. Okay, I just say, you're sculless, right? Your name is sculless. My name. Okay.

There's not, you're not like a twin. Nope. Okay. Wait, okay. Hey guys, we're gonna fight. Let's fight. I'm just swinging at you. Okay, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

Just doing this. I was just spouting up. I'm concerned. You guys, right. Okay, so this first guy who snorted this blue powder, he's gonna swing on you. And he gets... He blew my initiative?

He did beat your initiative. He rolled the goddamn Nat 20. Oh my God. Okay, so 17, does 17 hit you? Um, what's your AC? 19. He misses, he takes second attack. And he misses big time, he whiffs big time.

Don't do drugs kids. The other guy takes a swing on you. And he is going to get a 16-hit. He fucking misses and he's gonna hit on the second one for He scratches at you with his claws for three damage and then there's a burst of fire damage For another Seven so 10 damage total and then he's gonna roll for his wild magic shit He gets like red fire in his eyes, but he contains it and he's okay. That is going to be you stunk bug. Okay, I'm gonna cast Sleep on the two

Tobaxies, okay, alright, scullis great. So you roll to see how much HP right? I roll 5d8 Yeah, that's what 5d8's. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm not. Just people popping the show to jerk off to that. Not that many HP of it. 17.

17. Yeah. Nobody falls asleep. God damn it. That's supposed to use this shit on cobalt. That is you hard one. Oh, okay. I get you. You see, so you Reva's there. She's got like a dagger out. You see this other cancou. They're swarming in on your boy there. Which side is Reva on? The cancou's on our side. The cancou's are not on your side.

All right, I'm gonna say Reva, get back. I'll protect you. Do you not understand what's going on? I work with Skullis that way. We're gonna do their side parts later. Reba, you bet on them so that we can't lose money. I know you feel something too. I am rich as fuck. Look at this gold. We're gonna kill this motherfucker and steal his gold.

I'm gonna kill you. I am what that is. What do I do? Reba, wait in the car. I'm 15. On one of the, to backsy guys? Yeah, one of the Tabaxi guys? Yeah, one of the Tabaxi guys.

Cool, that hits. What are the Tabaxi's names? You don't know, you didn't ask them. That is a 18. So I'd really like to know that guy's name. 18 damage? Yeah. Yeah, you fuck this guy right up, and he yells,

oh, my name's Mark! Ha ha ha! Fuck you, Mark. And now is it possible for me to chug my duttle potion? Yeah, you do it. You get your things back. You also get all your help back. Great.

Can my beard come back? Your beard also comes back. Whoa, it's trash. It was all I've got. It's actually kind of disappointing, because I kind of wanted to see how long it takes you to grow a beard. I never really saw it.

I could never really grow up. It was a magical beard removal. It wasn't. It wasn't a real one. It was an enchantment Okay, cool that is going to be skulls He turns to you stunk bug and he goes I'm gonna attack you with a clear head and a clear mind Oh my god And he goes and he swings at you with a karate kick

And he goes, Keah! And he swings at you with a karate kick. And he grits. Oh, Jesus. Dang that clear. That's another go-to drug. Maybe he's yond to something. Oh yeah. Is he wearing a dirtie shirt? No, he's just wearing a leather jacket with nothing underneath.

You know what he looks like? Yeah. He looks like, do you guys have played Teenage Mutants Rills? The arcade game? Yeah. That really buff white Panther guy that comes out of the drill that fights you in the snow level? I do remember this.

Yeah, like the snow cougar? Was he, oh, is it other like mutagen guy? Yeah, actually, you know what? It doesn't matter at all. He kicks you for 16 damage. Holy shit. And he's just going to take another swing at you. He misses that can time as he goes

to roundhouse kick again. Kya, kya! He goes to swing at you. You block it with your lance. And he takes one last swing. I have a lance just so everyone knows. I fight using a lance. And he goes and he swings back.

He tries to sweep your legs out from underneath you, but you block it again with the lens. Cool. That is going to be you, moonshine. No one has seen you. You guys, whatever you guys do, you guys get to do with advantage. Oh, hell yeah.

People don't know that you're there. Oh, for real. Oh, yeah. OK, I would like to throw an ice knife at Skolas. Don't. A. A 19. That hits. Yeah. Throw an ice dagger into Skolas' back. Skulless dope a eight 19 that hits Ice dagger into skull is back. Okay, so Skulless takes

Four damage but then all of them do a dexterity saving throw or they'll take Six damage, okay, it's like fucking everyone pretty much. Oh sorry. Oh sorry. It's actually Ooh, it's actually sorry. There's a second level so it's 12 damage. They'll take wow. He Makes his save the other two to back. She make their saves the cancos failed their saves and That's it. Who's the guy who's right fucked up? Mark mark mark. He's super Spores in for three finish him. He's dead. Who's the guy who's right fucked up? Mark. Mark. Mark. He's super nerd. Spores him for three. Finish him. He's dead. Yes. Sweet. Um, so I'm just gonna do, uh, I'm gonna wink at him. Okay. But as I wink, uh, my eye from my eye socket, I

succrete a little bit of juicy spores and they float in the air and then enter his ear and then infect his brain and then his brain explodes and comes pouring out of his nose and his ears. Just like, yeah, sucks for you, Niche. Usually kisses. The whole time, he just thinks he's tripping and he dies thinking that.

So he died pretty peacefully for having such a horrible death. So one of those guys goes down. That is going to be Beverly. Yay, my turn. Yeah, I think it's Javilan time. Go ahead. I'm just gonna toss a Javilan right at at Skellis if possible. Go ahead. Throw with advantage. That's 19 plus five. 24. 24. That hits. All right, cool. Ooh, that's a nine. Nine damage? Yeah.

Okay, he is going to try to use his martial arts prowess to deflect the missile as a reaction. Oh, he's so annoying. Hit skull is... You throw it at him, he turns around at just the right time, he catches the javelin. Oh my gosh, spins it. It goes Imagine all the things you could do to clear mine. I Really believe he's straight edge. Are you sure this is the guy who killed your brother? Then it is those

Cancus name was skulls one of them, but but Beverly is also straight edge. Is he not? I had my first beer last session Now is addicted But Beverly is also straight edge, is he not? I had my first beer last session. No! No, he's addicted. No. Wait, am I exposed to this point? Yeah, OK. So I think I shall back. I respect your decision to be straight edge, but beer tastes super good!

No! No! No! I wouldn't know, never tried the stuff. And then that is going to be the king. Can I see this guy snorkeling. One of the drugs. One of them tries to stab at hard one.

He misses. Nice. Um, you see, Riva slips into the shadows, not that well. She rolled very poorly under stealth check. You see she goes, time for me to despair. And then she hides behind the tabaxi like really unconvincingly. That's a good job, Riva. Y'all, your girlfriend's not so brave.

But then she tries to stab at stunk bug. And she rolls in at one. She did a terrible, just this intimidating little one. That's my fucking girlfriend. She goes to stab at you. And she falls on her face. She just trips on the ground. Back around to that other tabaxi guy.

She can squawk the squawk, but she can't see what. She falls on her dagger and it pales her through the chin. Yep, she's super dead. No, no, she's not. Oh, okay. So this guy is going to, you know what? He's gonna snort some more drugs. He snorts some more drugs.

It's not a good idea, but he's gonna do it. I put on a bowler hat. I put on the blue bowler hat. Let's go, if you keep bad company for a straight edge, dude. Hey, you know what? I like to live on the wild side. For me, that means being straight edge for other people. I gotta respect their choices.

God, weird words, dude. So this guy is, he just took a bunch of drugs and he's going to take a swing at you know what I'll take a swing at hard one why not yeah why not he takes a swing he misses he takes a second swing does an 18 hit you yes you don't have the cloak anymore so he is going to hit you for four, six damage and then with a burst of energy, he's gonna do another 14 damage. Wow, that fucks. What's that? But now you see, I had the potion actually. You see he's like freaking the fuck out, I'm gonna roll, oh my god, he explodes.

Oh. You know what, everybody roll a dexterity saving throw to see, you know what, Beverly, you guys are fine. You guys need to roll a dexterity saving throw. Let's say you need to beat a 12. So it's to get out of the way. It's D20 plus one. Plus my dexterity modifier.

Plus your dexterity modifier. Okay. Wish I'd give you dexterity instead of constitution. Okay, okay, here we go. Yeah, pray for Stunkbug. Ha, ha, ha. Uh, two. So I got a three.

Okay, what do I have for all dexterity? It's like 20 and then I need to add a dexterity. You're older too? I rolled a, yeah, I rolled the welcome to the crew. Welcome to the crew. Welcome to the crew. Two crew. Two I crew.

That is a two life fucking crew. I think that's the crew. Okay, all right You both fail You guys as this dude explodes there's nothing left you guys are hit with crazy arcane energy for How much math you're doing right now? 18 damn it. Well, I'm down. You're down. Oh no. Go down.

I had 16 hit points. Scholars takes half of that. One of the kankos explodes. Oh no. Riva takes half of it. She got out of the way, but she looks pretty damn fucked up. Riva! All right, so what am I unconscious?

You go down, yeah. Oh my god. That is you stunk bug. Stunk bug. Give give me a death saving throw okay. How do you do death saving throw? I'm just roll a d20 all right roll higher than a 10 10 or higher Jesus Christ Oh wait And was it was a 20 I think that's false on the ground Yeah, four20s count.

A nine. Oh, nine. That's one fail. If you get three fails, your character dies. OK. All right. Let's go, Seth. Woo, woo, woo.

That is you, hard one. All right, I'm going to use second wind right now. OK, hard one. What do you do? How do you activate second wind this time? D. Oh, yeah. Hard one. Describe your second wind.

Oh, that's good. My beard is finally back. And I just bring it up to my nose and I snip it. Trying to clear my senses of the arcane that I did before. It reminds you of home. In my fighter levels, what now for? Yeah, great. So that is a 10 HP back to me.

Nice. When his beard was regrowing, did it look like a like Vigetti or a vegetable spiralizer? It was just like swirling out of his face. It was like Play-Doh. Who's the closest to Riva right now? Oh my God, you're still going to protect her. Probably you.

You guys are kind of all in the mix. It's basic, it's just Riva and Skullis are there near you and Stunkbug. Moonshine and Bev are kind of off. Stunkbug did a very poor job taking his vengeance. He challenged Skullis to a duel, was rejected, started a fight, tried to cast Sleep, failed, and was immediately knocked unconscious. So I'm going to do this.

Can I throw one of my new throwing axes at Scullis and then also give Stunk bug his Duttle potion. Oh You want to give him like the long rest shit. Yeah, well, I'm gonna say that's gonna take you in action So you can't attack and do that all right fine But I'm gonna do it for you because you got to you got a venture brother. Okay, you fucking pop back up full fucking health with your spells back This item was overpowered. I shouldn't have given it final final You want to see a lixer. Yeah, you Phoenix down We make a lixer. Merpina. Yeah, I fucked up. I did a bad job. It's really good. All right

All right, I got I got when we get pop back on the stakes are gone I got when we could say if I was skin of murp fucking up. I got 42 hit points. I got three fresh skill slots I'm saving my potion till the final boss right Cool everyone this is really cool You guys have you guys have two more skull is just so let's wait let's waste the turn just twirling our dicks around Scullis skulls turn to you hard one. I'm gonna attack myself twirling our dicks around. I'm gonna attack myself. Don't give Scullis one of these potion guys.

Scullis turns to you hard one, says, what was that? Some kind of drug. You know what? It might feel good now, but in the long run, it'll ruin your life. Don't take, I could don't get on a high horse.

He tries to climb you. He misses with his claws. He takes another swing with his claws. He misses. He goes for a roundhouse kick. Kya! Fuck you, man. And he misses with his claws. He takes another swing with his claws. He misses. He goes for a roundhouse kick. Kya! Fuck you, man. And he misses with his kick. He's just not so weird that he's like all about being straight at it.

I want to force feed this dude some arcane. Right. That is you. That is you, moonshine. I want you worried that. So I want to cast mirror image on myself. Okay. So I'm just going to turn, there's now four moon shines. Did you just fucking Naruto? Do you? Yes, I did.

I did. Shadow Jutsu. Yep. So now there's four moon shines. And then as my bonus action, I'm just gonna spore's a- Not Mark, right? Mark's dead. Everybody's dead except for Riva and Scullis.

Oh, everything's gone for Riva. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you hit Riva. I'm going after Riva and Scullis. Oh, everything's called Riva. All right, so for real? Yes. Don't you hit Riva. I'm going after Riva. Do it. No, it's Borsar. I go to heart. You kill all my friends.

Did our kiss mean nothing? You got a weird. And then I, uh, spores Riva. For three. For three. She's doing a bad job of hiding stuff. And now she's trying to hide behind everyone. She had to hide behind a corpse of some dead.

Yeah, she was trying to hide behind the two who exploded. And he exploded on her and now she's super hurt. Also, all four, all four moonshines are doing a different form of dance. One is belly dancing. It's one hotter than the next. It's funny that you designed a battle with megalixers and exploding bad guys. Scullis looks at you as four different people dancing. He says, if I didn't know for a fact that I wasn't on drugs,

I would think I was on drugs right now. But I can't wait for the- I can't wait for the mountain of Arcane that you're gonna be snorkeling. Unlikely. So that was moon shines, so that is you, Bev. All right, cool. I'm going to ensnaring strike Scullis Scalas. Okay. Alright, uh, that's 11 plus, um, oh, my strength is six now. So plus six,

17. That hits nice. Alright, um, so to try to catch it, but it's magic, so it doesn't work, but he does go, yeah, does Scalas consider magic a drug? No. OK. I do. I do out of character. In character, I hate Skullis. Out of character, I love Skullis. I think he's great. But I'm so confused because you have a memory of him taking this.

So are you questioning this memory? I am questioning the memory a little bit. But this man says that he's Skullis. So I'm like, I know who to be untrustworthy, because he's a brother murderer. He's Skullis. Yeah. He's Skullis. Yeah. He's sculless.

Yeah. But do you trust your memory? Yeah. Oh. One of your memory has already been fucked up. Maybe I've been implanted memory. Can I describe what I do? Yes.

All right, so I have my sword out. I rip off my abstinence. No, I rip off my drug attorney. Do you have an abstinence patch? No, well, I do have that. I rip off my abstinence, no, I rip off my drug- You have an abstinence patch? No, well I do have that. I rip off my chest, that one's staying up. Honestly, everyone's born with an abstinence patch. Yeah.

You don't earn that, you just have to rip off. You rip out his diamond. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I rip off my drug free patch and I Watch forward I slap it on him and then I stab at him with my sword don't And then he is damaged. Yeah, and I do 10 damage. Oh shit. And then he isn't snared. Okay, he goes ah He's just trying to get out of the vines Okay, he goes, ah, yeah, yeah. He's just trying to get out of the vines. Yeah, ha, ha. Ha.

Ha, ha. Yeah, it won't help you now. The only drug I need is Polar and also Beer because I freaking love the stuff. Stunk bug, that's you. Oh, wait, wait, that's not you, that's Riva. Okay, Riva is gonna try to stab you in the back, hard one. Me, he sneaks around. I'm gonna try to stab you in the back hard one. Me!

She sneaks around. Eat two reba. She just, she fucking dinks off of you with her dagger. She sucks. I just think she's trying to get my attention. She just rolled a data. In a seven, in a second baby. Yeah.

Oh boy, just stabbing at your butt with a dull dagger. One second, sweetly. I am evil. I am an important drug drug lord That is you stunk bug. Okay. How do you make a range spell attack? What is you also you've got so skull is right there You get advantage on attacks against him. Okay, can I recommend that we like hold on to him so we can Intermittent maybe you could do non lethal damage whenever you finish. He isn't snared if you wanted to question him Yeah, I don't want a question. I want to murder him. Okay. I don't really have questions. I want to kill him

Yep, okay, so I want to cast Chromatic orb okay, which allows me to hurl a 4 inch diameter sphere of energy at a creature And I have to make a range spell attack to do it. I can choose acid-cold fire lightning poison or thunder for the type of orb I create. I think I choose acid because acid is a drug. And then I'm gonna make the chromatic orb specifically go up his nose and so he has to snort it.

Here, the ultimate peer pressure. Do you make a range spell attack? Yes, I make a range spell attack. and that's what he has to snort it. Here, the ultimate peer pressure. Do you make a ranged spell attack? Yes, I make a ranged spell attack. You can do that with advantage because he's tied up with the monster. So I can go twice and we're all twice and pick the other. And then how do you make a ranged spell attack?

So that's gonna be your proficiency plus your intelligence modifier. So that'll be four plus two, so plus six. Wait, plus six to attack. Got it. Moonshan, couldn't you create like a hallucinogenic mushroom? Oh.

We should just drug this dude to hear that. Yeah, I mean, I'm planning on not using that. I gotta, I did, I did a spot. I did a not good. No, not really. Okay, so you did a not good roll again. Oh yeah, yeah, I forgot I got a Vengeance. I got a Vengeance.

I did much better. Hey, I got a, uh, uh, you said plus six. Yep. 19. Don't pull your damage, you mad. Oh you said plus six. Yep. 19. Don't pull your damage. Oh, great. My damage is 3d8. Oh, fuck. Roll it.

Yeah, there's no d8s. Okay, great. There's the sound of 3d8s. Bet that. Bet that. Bet that. Oh, that's not bad. The exact average.

Three fours. I got 12 damage. Okay. Asset goes up his nose. Oh, that hurts, they're polluting my airways. And he looks pretty fucked up, but he's still not on that story. He's a pretty tough dude. He's crazy.

I'm doing a marathon tomorrow. That is you, hard one. Cool. Does Asset damage you any special? No, it's not. No. All right, well, that's drugs. You did drugs. I didn't do drugs.

That was drugs. You're not your nose and I were. You're trying. You're trying to push it on me. I'm not high. You're tripping out right now. You know what? I wouldn't even know if I was tripping.

I wouldn't know if I was tripping. You know what? I don't trip in the dojo. You're a drug addict now. I don't trip on drugs. And that's a nat 20 from Art One Blitz. You have the brutal critical thing, too. So roll 3d 12s.

Wow. I give you guys too much cool shit. I'm sweating. 3d 12s. 3d 12s. Yeah, welcome to the new band of boobs. Yeah, but it's giving me. And that is six 12 11 total is what?

I don't make me do this 29 plus your modifier 612 11 629 plus your modifier do you want to knock this guy out or kill him what do you say knock him out so I can kill him yeah that's cool tell me how you brutally knock this man out all right sweet so I'm gonna stride up to him and I'm gonna say hey you motherfucker you drug-addled piece of shit the movie I was thinking out about before was for the love of the game Sorry Kevin Costner and the phrase I was thinking about was clear the mechanism And no one's gonna get that except for people who saw that movie, but I love that film

I love that I love going right before my friends and then I to turn to Reva and I say, this is for you babe. But of my great axe right in between his eyes. Jesus, okay, yeah, you crack his skull and he goes out, he passes out in the vines. You see Reva sees this and she goes, good job babe, good job, hun. And she just starts to back away. Oh, are you dating now?

I grab her. Okay, oh my God. I grab her and I say, if you're his babe, hang out, be his girlfriend. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead.

How do you do that? I pull out a kudiketcher and start trying to ascertain their future. Yeah. I'm a bounty hunter, so I tie him up effectively. You tie up both of them or just... I don't really give it. I think Rivas didn't even tell you that.

I got an iron Rivas. Okay, so Rivas there. Moontryan's holding onto her threateningly. You guys now have a scaleless tie up. Do you guys want to say anything to Rivas before Scullis wakes up? Or do you kind of just want to wake Scullis up? What Do you guys want to say anything to Riva before Skullis wakes up or do you kind of just want to wake Skullis up? What do you guys want to do? What's my relationship with Oswald

back at the at the bounty camp? Cause she was like, oh, we got our guy. Yeah. Is she expecting me to bring him back or no? You always bring back these addicts into the bubble. You bring them to the barracks and then Captain Oswald herself brings them to a rehab center. So there's not really...

I don't know, something fishy is going on. It's like the internal politics of this place. Yeah, something shitty in this place. I think... Okay. Something... Yeah, there's something shitty in this city. Yeah, you're right.

We should it. We should it. I want to kill him, but I want to... But the stuff you say about being straight edge is just so weird. I want to find out what's going on, but I want to take him back to my apartment. Oh my God. You need to go to your apartment. Amazing.

You guys should put him in a bag or something. Just walking out with the most important guy. Yeah, no, we will put him in a bag. Can we put him in a keg? Is there like an empty keg around? Yeah, you see what I get when you have the blue hat. You want to like, we all minute keg? Is there like an empty cup around? Yeah, you see what I'm gonna get when you have the blue hat. Yeah, you wanna like, we all a keg? You have a blue hat.

You have the blue ball hat and put a minute keg and I'm like, you put the blue hat on. You put the blue hat on, you lead these guys through the wall, you go up into the kitchen, you shove skulls us into a keg. After dumping out some ale. Oh man, he's in a fucking keg. What do you guys do with Riva?

I think, killer. Yeah, that's cool. Are you okay with that? I was keeping her around because I want to her to show her, you're her true colors. No, I think we could do that because Riva is a killer. This woman is a drug dealer and this is more work for me if we don't kill her now, so you got to kill her.

I have one true love for Riva. And it's been good. It's been real. But it hasn't been real good. That's not the exact praising of that, but we should kill her. Cool. I give her a sensual spork as Jesus. OK.

Hi. Mushrooms explode out of her brain. There's just a mess murder scene in this kitchen. You guys have skulls in a barrel. OK, we take them back to my apartment, which is a really nice place by the Space Needle. We're just rolling. Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. It's like the Frazier theme plays, but not the end theme, the opening theme, where you see the skyline of what's in the city of Seattle. I see a lot of saloon scramble. You're here, the sound of a barrel rolling as we cut to the Seattle sky. We see the, we see the, we see the subtitle, you know, like the, the card over black of like, of, uh, I don't know,

Skullis, we hardly knew ye. Or whatever. And we're going to end our session there, guys. We'll pick up there in Esri next time. We'll be joined again by Adam Conover for the last episode of our little Esri are final installment. Final installment. Guys, watch Adam on Adam Runes. Everything presents reanimated history Tuesdays at 1030 on true TV and check out Adam playing games on Twitch TV slash Adam Conover. And if you wanna help us out,

you can leave a review or a better yet steal your friend's phone and subscribe to not another D&D commercial. You can't steal, that's still tall. Yeah, you gotta go ahead, give us a review, roll for stealth. Yeah, that's where you steal your friend's phone and subscribe to our show.

Guys, give us a five-star review and let us know who you want to shout out from. We do shout outs at the end of the show. Oh my God, you could also from your friends phone. If they're taking a while in the bathroom like taking a shit, you could leave a five-star review on your friends. Oh yeah, absolutely. Let us know. We'll shout out your friends.

Actually, as they whatever you want to your friends. Next time you're playing Truth or Dare with your friends, obviously do dare and then force them to leave a 5-star review of our show. How many people play Truth or Dare with their friends still? I mean, I feel like we got some high schoolers in the crowd. It's weird, whenever you hang out a call well, he brings up Truth or Dare. He's a dare and has to be still. So, do you want to watch movie or play Truth or Dare? It sounds good. I just like, my DVD player is broken actually, so. I don't have Netflix, but I do have a little game called Truth or Dare. Guys follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME,

at Call the Is Called Well, at E-AX, where his Emily, at J. Kerr, which is Jake, check us out on the subreddit, or not another D&D podcast. Oh, yeah. Join the conversation. We're up in there. Yeah.

And tweet about the show, guys. Hashtag Nadpod. That's NADD, POD. We are, we are. Youth of the nation. We are, we are, we are. That was a Hate Gum podcast. That was a headgun podcast.