Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 3: The Mating Habits of Bullywugs (The Moonstone Saga)

Episode Date: February 22, 2018

Our almost-heroes continue their search for the missing Green Teens in the bog! Beverly makes use of his ropes AND mating call badge, Hardwon gets bark rash, and Moonshine debuts the fungal k...iss of death. Listen to the end for shoutouts for our new reviewers!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:11 This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya, Hami Dungeon Master Brian Murphy,
Starting point is 00:01:40 joined by Jake Hurwitz, called Walt Tanner and Emily Axford. That's Moonchan. Hello. Hola. Actually, Hollywood does not have Spanish. Perfect. I need to say hello in Dwarven.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Languages, Dwarven and Spanish. But only because he worked in a Mexican restaurant. I know Kase de A and Ola. You found a magical stone called Duolingo. Cool. So guys, let's do a little recap and we can keep it loose and kind of talk through it. But last session, the party was at the Hungary Trout in in Tavern, that's where you started.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Mischka. Where you just decapitated some troublesome barbarian folk, some of the townspeople in Mischka, the Half-Work bartender, helped you hide the bodies. Yeah, you guys killed Crouch. No, Crouch and Gresh. Gresh is not dead yet. Gresh is the head guy. Yeah. Mischka told you that Gresh was the leader. No, Crush and Gresh. Gresh is not dead yet. Gresh is the big guy.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Yeah, Mishka told you that Gresh was the leader. You have not killed Gresh. You have not even met Gresh. Mishka was badass. Bitch fought a dragon. She did tell you that her and a group of towns people had fought the dragon before the heroes ever came. So she is kind of a badass.
Starting point is 00:02:42 She explained to you guys that these barbarians were part of the cracked tooth clan and that they were pretty much running the town. Then you had your boy scout master, Denny took you to visit Shay, the druid at the temple. She was the gray-haired, Ageless druid lady. I just like wanna go to her like yoga retreat in the least. I wanna live in a yurt with her. Oh retreat in the leaves. I want to live in a yard with her.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Oh my God, yes. Me and Shay in a yard just wrapped up in yoga mats. That's what's keeping you warm in the bog right now. Just that rounding and chia seeds. So she blessed you guys. She healed you up and she gave you some scrolls of water walking. But then you guys elected, instead of using
Starting point is 00:03:23 the scrolls of water walking, you saved them. You elected to take a boat across. You snuck by that barbarian druid dude, then traveled to a dilapidated dock on the other side of the bay. You headed into the swamp to search for the missing green teens who were dragged off by the bullie wugs.
Starting point is 00:03:37 You picked up their trail and managed to kill a couple of the bullie wugs scouts. I believe hard one, chopped one in half. That's correct. And Beverly stabbed one into a tree. I feel like you're really glossing over some of hard ones' failures. I don't know, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I don't know, I don't know. Those guys are like, let's continue with the recap. I was hit by two spears before that. Was it? You fell into a puddle later. No. Then you guys fought a giant snake. There was so long ago that burst out of a murky pool of water
Starting point is 00:04:06 and hard one killed the snake. And let's get started with the episode. Hard one, finish it off while yelling Opal Latin style in reference, of course, to Beverly also yelling Opal Latin style earlier in the fight. Moonshine then cut up the snake to possibly make some Jumbalaya in the future.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Can we get a quick jumble lia recap? We have a frog leg. Yeah, you do have a frog leg and some snake skin or just like I guess a big hunk of snake. Yeah, snake, frog. Uh-huh. You know, I think we're gonna be a hell of a stinky jumble lia. It's gonna be a real aquatic jumble lia.
Starting point is 00:04:39 No rice, no veggies. Hard one is not hungry. Okay, so let's get started. So you guys are in this swap. You've just killed this giant 15 foot long snake, body as thick as hard one's neck. There's this pool of muddy water in front of you that seems to work like quick sand.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Beverly lost his javelin there. All right, yeah. Is it not frozen? Is it not frozen? I had frozen it. No, it does not freeze because your spell doesn't work if there's a creature in there Yep, no it I was just for dramatic effect saying that the snake burst through the ice
Starting point is 00:05:10 But there's not that but it actually your spell fizzled for practical purpose right? Familiating for those keeping track for those keeping track. I didn't make a goddamn mistake. Don't at me Every time I don't follow the rules perfectly I'm gonna say don't at me. Every time I don't follow the rules perfectly, I'm going to say don't at me. Absolutely. Can I, uh, can moonshine do a little look to see if there are any hanging vines around? Give me an investigation check. You can see that there are hanging vines obviously, but let's see how much you see. Fish that's going to be a, um, hmm, that's going to be numbers. 18. 18, wow, right?
Starting point is 00:05:45 Okay, you can see, so you've got this murky pool of quicksand, you know, some World War I type water mud in front of you. You see around the vines and stuff, you see that there are some branches broken and stuff, and it looks like some of the bully wugs may have climbed up and jumped across to some hanging branches on the other side.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Oh, so there's not like a tarzan vine. There is not a tarzan vine. You would need to climb across Monkey Bar style. Gotcha. Kind of hang and swing. You need to do a little jump. Hmm. I could do a little jump.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yeah. Do you want to do a little jump? You guys would have to climb up first. Okay. Yeah, I'll climb up. Okay, give me a climb check. Athletics. 16.
Starting point is 00:06:28 16, great. You scurry up that tree. You're able to work your way across the branches. And there's a little jump that you can make to get to the branch of a tree on the other side. Well, before I do that, I want my compatriots to join me up here probably, unless you guys want me to do recon. So we can't just walk around the puddle you could but it's so so the the It's not it's not a it's not a puddle. It's not a puddle. It's a giant pool of water
Starting point is 00:06:54 Okay, 20 feet across to the other side where you see the bullywug tracks pick up again And you see it as far as you can see to the east and as far as you can see to the west, it is going. Oh, so you can take the long way around, but you're gonna need to do roles for tracking to see if you can find the four wires. Wait a second, I'm gonna drop, I've got pop-ups leash. I'm gonna drop pop-ups leash and I can help you guys up. Oh, okay, sure.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I think we all have one. Yeah, you guys do have rope too, but you can use pop-ups leash for a while. Can you win off? Let's literally hop up on my shoulders. Reach pop-ups, Leash. And I don't know. I have a question.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Does pop-ups, Leash, have like a harness aspect on it? Is it like one of those? Yeah, so it is attached to pop-ups. Okay, so. Oh, it's, so she's lowering pop-ups. So you have pop-ups on his leash right now, right? So are you?
Starting point is 00:07:42 It's pop-ups. Well, I can either lower pop-ups to you or I can hold pop-up on lower his leash right now, right? So are you? It's Papa. So you can either lower Papa to you or I can hold Papa on lower his leash. I'm gonna go Papa cannot. Wait, okay, so are you hanging on to Papa's leash? So you are gonna be pulling up, I guess you could pull up Beverly, he probably only weighs 50 pounds.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Yeah, pull me up, a hard one you're on your own. Whoa. That's me. Okay, so Papa is on this leash. Yeah. No, Papa is like in my overalls, and then I've wrapped the leash around one of the straps of the overall, and then I'm letting it down.
Starting point is 00:08:15 So there's sort of like a ballet. Oh, okay. I am going to strap myself into the harness. Great. I'm going to be like a good boy clips into the leash. Oh, blow it on. Give me. Everyone is just like, shh. I, I'm ready. Proceed. I, I noticed that you did a bad knot. So I fix your knot real quick. I say, what do you feel I went down there? Nothing. It's just I,
Starting point is 00:08:39 mm, some shoddy craftsmanship, but I've, I've got my, I have my notman's badge, so I'll fix that right up for you. Okay, that's real cute. Get on up, your child. Here I go. All right, so you're climbing up with a leash. I guess I'll give you advantage on a climb check. Go ahead and take your time. Yeah, because it's a strong-ass leash.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Okay, yeah, yeah, pop-up does try to run away all the time. Oh, that's a 10 plus your athletics. Oh, plus five, great. Great, 15, you sc. Great. Great. 15. You scurry right up there. Your pop-off starts licking at you like crazy. Suddenly, he wants the leash now that he doesn't have it. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:11 And he starts kind of biting at you, kind of biting at the leash and pulling. Pop-off, please. Hard one, that's you, man. Cool. He's going to roll on one. I shout down and say, hard one. Do you want the leash?
Starting point is 00:09:21 Of good. No, I dangle it down. I'm dangle it down in his face. Hard one ignores the leash, Of good. No, I dangle it down. I'm dangling it down in his face. Hard one ignores the leash, runs up and would I roll the 20? Yeah, I roll the detour. And I do add it. I do add it. Plus your athletics.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Should be like a plus six, right? Okay, I rolled an eight. What? That's okay. Well, I got a plus six, that's a 14. That's a 14. Cool, so hard one not as easily as the ever leave the leash still manages to get up with should have used the Lee with his pride mostly intact wow hard one looks like the
Starting point is 00:09:53 Bark of the tree really scratched you up You just got red marks all over you little too out of breath I do offer him a band-aid so you guys are up in this tree now and you need to do a little jump to reach the branch on the other side or else you will fall 15 feet down into this pool of quicksand. Could we use our rope, our actual rope, not our pop-up harness, and kind of like lasso over to the other branch. Yeah, go for it.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Ooh, and then we can make a zip line. We can make a zip line. Okay, so you're gonna try that kind of tie a little lasso. I'm already on my separate arm then break it. Just chase it off. You're stranded, guys. Are you making like a little lasso?
Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah, I'll make a lasso. Roll me a survival check, I guess. Okay, I think I'm good with that. Should be pretty good at it. Survival. You are a little boy scout. I see. You should be.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Ooh, 16 plus 3. Nice, great. Okay, yeah, you make a little lasso, huh? That's 30 as fuck, man. I say I do this and I successfully make the zipline and I kind of like solemnly work for it. You don't successfully make the zipline, my man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:12 You got to throw the lasso now. Now make a really good lasso. It is a good lasso. You got a good lasso right now and you can throw the lasso within a tack roll. So just make a ranged attack. So that's 10. You got a 10 total?
Starting point is 00:11:26 Yeah. Okay. So you throw the lasso, you see it go into the thickets of branches and leaves of the other tree, but it's kind of hard to see you pull on it. And it seems to be pretty strong. The knot, I look dubiously at your merit patch for advanced propons.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Ah! No, no, but the knots will hold, the knots. It's all about the knots. Ha! Yeah, you hold it and tighten it, and I just think of Scoutmaster Denny saying, good boy! It's good to you.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I rip it off and give you the patch. Hold onto this until I need it, till I'm ready for it. You'll learn the fact. I'll go first as a show of good faith. Okay, cool. Don't need to roll again. You want more to bat you?
Starting point is 00:12:16 Yes, okay. Give me a acrobatics check. Or no, acrobatics or athletics. And do it with advantage, cause you got the rope there. I have a plus five in athletics, I'm gonna do that. Great.
Starting point is 00:12:27 That's a 15. Great, cool. You, you're able to scurry across. Can I do it, can I do it cheer? As I go? Yes you can. Oh my god, let's go away. Shh, shh, shh.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Shh. Sorry, I appreciate you. I fully want to send on you from all direction. Quickly killing Beverly. Ha ha ha. I'm just gonna killing Beverly. It's Gully's Gully! Do you scurry across? You get luck not to say it. You get to the other tree, you're able to move the leaves out of the way
Starting point is 00:12:55 and come see where your lasso ended up. You see that it's in a little bit of a precarious position, not on quite as strong of a branch, as perhaps you would have liked, and if hard one or moonsh had gone perhaps they might have fallen Beverly perhaps you want to uh perhaps you want to a tighten up that wait can they see that I did a bad job they can't see that you did a bad job okay hold on So like quickly fix it I give it a big tug
Starting point is 00:13:19 Beverly how's it look over there all good down here all good Okay, sir you did you fixed it fixed it. Okay Okay, very sturdy has always been sturdy and remains as such So I took I took a papa in my Overalls and I take my washboard and I zip line across oh nice really okay give me You know, I You're gonna have it. I will literally give me a I'm just saying it's gonna make beautiful music as I go across. Okay. Give me a performance I
Starting point is 00:13:55 Don't know how to deal with this Another beautiful song, but a watch more just the metal just burned down the room Oh, no, I'm doing the other side. I'm doing the other side. You're doing the other side. Good on the wood on the roof. It's so crazy. As she does it, it's exactly the melody for Sammy Charm kind of life.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Great. I got 11. 11. Okay. It's pretty impressive and cool. You do that thing that happens in zip lines sometimes where you start to go and then you kind of stop and you have to swing
Starting point is 00:14:22 yourself a little. So she is able to get herself across. But only only because of only because the weight of my huge fertile boobs just like propels me hard helps me scooch you can see that maybe she could have died by doing that yeah but she's able to lamely scoot across the very end of it and she gets into the other tree with Bev it's like a little too sexual as I hump my way across. I feel like yeah hard would pretend not to notice Do you like do that anime thing where like use slide in and kind of like squish up against me with your boobs? Yeah, yeah, it's real pervy. I have Beverly gets a nose. I do get it
Starting point is 00:15:03 God I really want to try doing the the zipline on the great access. You can do that. Yeah, go for it. Cool. I'm ziplining on the great access. Hell yeah. Okay, not the plated part, correct? No, no, no, no. Just the wood. Okay, great. Wood on rope. What do I get? The 20? Yes. I made her do a performance check, but that was kind of silly. So let's just say athletics. I rolled a butt. Okay, you also got in the left. Thank God, I didn't make you roll a performance check because you would have been in that quicksand. So hard one does the same thing. He jumps up thinking, oh this looks like so much fun. Starts to swing down, gets stuck halfway, and then awkwardly, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Really? I give Beverly his patch back. You earned this now, son. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:16:07 I quickly sew back on with my sewing skills. It takes three hours. I greatly remove the sewing patch. Okay, fair enough. So you guys are in this tree on the other side of the muddy pool. Are you guys going to try to climb down or what do you want to do from here? I would like to take a little look. I would like to survey the scene. That seems smart. Yeah. Cool. Give me a perception check. I lend her my spyglass. Very good.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Oh, bitch. That's gonna be a 23. 23. 23. Nice. That's right. Well, you know, we got good eyesight down here. You could send a fucking galator off from up here. So you say you, it is difficult for you to kind of see anything because there are all of these other trees around. It's just, you know, a big thicket. It's difficult for you to see. But you do see smoke from a fire north to you. And to the the west you can see the top of a castle. A castle? Yeah, like a keep.
Starting point is 00:17:11 So we don't know about this castle. This is a note. You know that the dragon shadowfang lived in a castle in the swamp. Okay. Well, first off, y'all, we got smoke and you know what they say about smoke, where there's smoke, there are youngins. Yeah, aha, that's not what, yeah. That's not quite what they say, but yeah. There are youngins.
Starting point is 00:17:32 They love the stuff. Our youngins down by the creek play with a lot of fire. Anyway, so I've been with you guys. You guys are bad with children. Go on. Honestly, down at the creek, they outnumber the adults. Five out. We'll make the rules. So outnumber the adults, five out. Totally big the rules.
Starting point is 00:17:47 So they make the rules. A place where kids rule. Sounds cool to me. It's very place. It's so crazy that one day you guys are going to have to go to the creek. And I just have to keep a running list of all the stupid shit that we all have to play with fire.
Starting point is 00:17:59 It's children of the corn. And there is a lot of corn. Second point of interest is next to that, there is the spire of a castle. Now, I obviously know right now that's not. It's a little, it's kind of far away. It's not exactly in the... So that's not directly of interest to us right now,
Starting point is 00:18:20 but perhaps it is something that if we save these youngins. Yeah, it's safe for them to keep. It could be a good place to hide out in case of danger. Yeah, I mean, I love squatting. I love finding just an abandoned house and just living there for three to six months. Sorry. Strange hobby.
Starting point is 00:18:40 That's interesting. I'll tell you why. That's a personal passion that you are. I live in a house with my mom and dad, but that's a way to do it. Yeah. Shall we proceed to the north? Yeah, let's go save the kids.
Starting point is 00:18:51 How are you guys at HP wise and stuff? Oh shit, I think. 15, baby. I think I'm at nine. Okay, that makes sense. I don't think I got hurt. Is this something like what is it? I don't think you got hurt.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Do you have any sort of concept of like how pressing this is if we need to like, if we need to get to them right away or if we could take an ad? I feel like it's pressing. Or it's pressing. Whenever kids are missing. That's really pressing right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:16 There's like the ritualistic sacrifice. We've all seen the first 48. Yeah. Okay. Do we want to sleep in it? Don't find the green teens within 48 hours. Although it would be fun to put up a little hammock in a tree. Yeah, but we could do that once we find the green teens. Yeah, I could, well hold on, I think I'm out of spells, so I don't
Starting point is 00:19:34 know if I can do it. I have. I have. You are out of spells, right? I've got second wind. Okay, I still have action surge as well. We haven't used any of your stuff. No, I have not out of strategy. I think you just forgot of your stuff. No, I have not added yet. I think you just forgot that you have. I just don't really look at the tape. So it kind of works out. Heartless, too proud to ever accept everyone else that you use all of their spells to save your life because you aren't using your own abilities. Munchite is currently has like a poultice of healing herb that she's trying to put on all of his bark rashes. Oh good. You guys have potions, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:08 One potion, one potion has been used. I say we book it. I say we just try and get these youngins. I mean, they are the priority. They are the future. Yep. Yeah, okay, great. Let's go for it.
Starting point is 00:20:19 So you guys continue to make your way. We're stealthing. I'm going for a mask of the wild. Great. Oh, go ahead and give me a stealth roll with advantage because you got that mask of the wild. 14. 14. Okay, pretty good. So you start making your way through this. Just pretty good. So I'm like doing a really good job stealthing but I'm also humming loudly. Spores are growing every one. Yeah, you're unseeable but you are singing a crick song.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Little by. And Papa is never stealth. Yeah, Papa's just gone, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr little burps. Which is over and over again. Ah, ah, ah. He's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
Starting point is 00:21:12 he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he He thinks they're armed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, we're talking like campfire or bonfire or original is exactly for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it like a fun bonfire that everyone's dancing around and drink? Oh, it's about fire where underage teens are drinking. Yeah, more of like a cooking fire. Okay. We're cooking those fucking kids.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Oh, I smell. You smell dry brine. It's your dry brine on those kids. You're not you're not close enough yet. You have vinegar or sugar. Go ahead and give me a perception check. I got a roll for somebody. I like to think that hard one is saying all these things do beverage-leach, be like they're
Starting point is 00:22:16 fucking eating those kids. I don't know. I think you're positive at it too. No, they're probably going to try and get a ransom form or something. I got a 10. You got a 10. What is the perception check? That's the 20 sided?
Starting point is 00:22:27 Yes. Every check is 20 sided. Oh yeah, you guys can all give me perception checks. 15 plus something. Yeah, what is it plus? It's plus your perception. Yeah, it's one of your skills. Of course.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Zero. Great, okay. That will be six. Cool. So hard one. it starts walking towards the fire. Yeah, it's a very hard one. You have like sweaty hands or something that are like, it's got a lot of seconds. It's the overconfidence.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Or are you in Vegas? It's a very bad, the problem is the hubris. It's a, yeah. That's right. It's God punishing you. That's exactly right. It's just a little more humble, I would be better. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh cool. Just a little more humble. I would be better. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:06 So Bev, you clock a single bully walk standing guard. Uh-oh. He looks a little bored. You see him, you know, nonsulantly stick his tongue out and eat a fly as it buzzes by. He's holding a giant hammer.
Starting point is 00:23:21 He's holding a giant hammer in two hands. And he's near a big hanging metal sheet. Looks like some kind of improvised gong. And yeah, in the distance, you can see the fire and you can hear some chatter. Is it just me or does this feel like the jamboreen is happening? I mean, it did have a big gong. Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:23:43 We do have a gong at the joline. This isn't the trampoline. Oh, it feels like I now that she's put the idea in my head. I see the gong. Be quiet. Don't celebrate. Okay. All right. It's not the trampoline. No, no, no, no, no, Calu Calis right now. Okay. Okay. Siley, you can do, you can do a mental colloquy colloquish Okay Now I can tell by the way that that pulley well he's standing that it is in heat So I know what that is. He just mixes ass I don't think that's gonna affect anything, but just be weary. I don't know. I someone who's in heat for Most days of the year. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:24:25 It does affect you, you know. Water retention and such. Absolutely. I don't. I don't understand. I don't understand. And I would ask you to quit talking about it. Same. Okay. Okay. I'm just saying you're going to smell it
Starting point is 00:24:42 instinctually. No. We know your fertile Papa just are sticking his head into your armpits. You say it so much. I Know it's like a warning anyways go on okay. Well all right So does anyone have an idea about what we should do? I imagine there's more bully wugs around But that's the only one I can see you can't let him bring that fucking gone Yeah, that would probably be bad Imagine there's more bully wugs around, but that's the only one I can see. I can't let him bring that fucking gun. Yeah, that would probably be bad.
Starting point is 00:25:06 It could either summon more bully wugs or start the feast of pylore, which is an annual jamborean tradition. That's not going to be that one. I don't know, I think it's like 50-50. Well, so he's bored. So what if we made some noise out here to try and lure him in? Nice. And then we can kind of ambush him.
Starting point is 00:25:25 You got your little cush! Oh my god! We did really do that actually! Oh, wait a second! Beverly, you know so much about these bully wugs. Why don't you make a bully wug mating call? If he's in heat, yeah. Nice.
Starting point is 00:25:37 You have your animal mating call patch. I have dissected a bully wug and we had some lectures. So was that true? It was not making any noise. It was not making any noises true. But I have some of my dad's friends like to go bully wug hunting and one of them gave me a bully wug call
Starting point is 00:25:54 for one of my birthday. So I've got some experience with it. Let's go. You do not have a bully wug call. All right. I'll stand for the nonsense in the quick. I'll stand for the nonsense in the quick. I'll stand for the green teen traditions. Oh, so what I do is I check my pockets.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Ah, dang it, I lifted it away. It is, it's gonna be a deception check. Okay, so whoever has the best deception. Plus two. Just check it out. What are you guys? You guys can also help each other. I can't believe a paladin.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Well, okay, so we have polywags down by the crick. So if you do a mating call, I do a mating call. Between the two of us, one of us is gonna get it. Right, you're gonna say two girls for every guy. Yeah. Okay, you're going to do a mating call, huh? To lure him out. Okay. Wait, no, I'm doing it. I have to sit in the suction. Okay, the rest of the episode is
Starting point is 00:26:50 Beverly getting fuck so I'm fully well It's all over the cover all right, yeah, no, I think it's just like it's just a hard one and moonshine in the bushes giving him a thumbs up You're doing great buddy. All right, I DC 20 deception check. Wait, really? I'm not joking, he's a fucking frog man. It's not gonna think a little boy making a frog sound is another frog that wants to fuck him.
Starting point is 00:27:18 You're gonna need to do a goddamn good job to trick him. Okay, so, wait, wait, let's talk about this because your Michael gonna fail. If you fail, at least the noise will probably get, he probably won't. I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna like, but could we also just like break a bunch of twigs? I think this is a good option.
Starting point is 00:27:40 No, Jay need to make the bully walk horny. Okay, Jake, I'm gonna be'm gonna be just fucking clap my hands. I am going to be true to my character and Beverly definitely likes to do things the hard complicated way because Beverly's a little petty and like straight. Well, hard one is at least trying to talk you out of it as you do the bully well. Right guys? One last thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I think we should also build a little trap. Yeah, okay. Okay. One last thing. I think we should also build a little trap. Yeah, okay. Okay. So is there a trap? How are you, you gotta take some time to build a trap and you're gonna need to roll stealth rolls to see if you make noises. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Okay, in that case maybe we'll just, we'll just hide and we'll ambush him when he comes. Yeah, I think it's y'all. And the point is just to get him to come over so we can ambush him. Exactly, all right, all right. Okay, but I think that you are telling me that you believe in my ability to do bully
Starting point is 00:28:25 Well, yeah, alright, and I'm telling you not to do it. I think this is a great idea. I just as hard one as Jake go for it. Yeah I give you all both thumbs up and then I like contort my fingers into a weird flesh ocarina and Prepare to bellow out this blue one call. All right, wait, wait, wait, wait. All right, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you, you can roll advantage on this, but you still need to be to DZ20. All right, cool, so I love the term flesh ocarina.
Starting point is 00:28:57 It looks so uncomfortable. I'm like pulling out my, this is like a fucking juu-tu. Oh my God. And remember, it doesn't have to be super loud. Ah. Well, I mean, for it to be accurate, it would be, but I understand. Ah.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. What a year-old. Ah. Ah. You're all the right.
Starting point is 00:29:17 I gave you advantage. I gave it advantage for a year-old again. Oh my god. Oh, thank god. Oh, thank god. Oh, thank god. I'm gonna be like, fucking 20. Oh, yeah. Ah. Ah. That's a six fucking 20. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:26 That's a six. Okay, and what did you get? I don't know. You got total. Oh, plus six, yeah, 12. Okay, you see the dude looks up, bangs the gong. Okay. You hear the sound of the hammer against the metal loud gong. I should have known that the gong was a warning.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah. Should we scary up in the trees? Oh, go ahead, should we go ahead? You see bully wugs start emerging. Should we scurry up in the trees and try and get some kind of advantage over them? Let's get up in the tree. I don't want up in the tree.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I strap on the Papa harness and go up the tree. So give me some climb checks to see if you can get there quick enough. All these bully wugs run into the forest to find you guys We add acrobatics or athletics. We have athletics. I got a one you got a one I got a seven. This is the first time I didn't say watch this and I got a 24 Hard one scurries up Whoa Beverly face plants in my mind. I got a
Starting point is 00:30:22 You scurry up so face plants in the mud. I got a 7-10. You scurry up. So, I can't leave Beverly. So, come here. Everybody give me stealth checks. Beverly, you give me one with disadvantage because you're face down in the mud.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I just rolled another one. 13. OK. Kayla has forsaken me. I only got a six. So, hard one bounds up a tree and tries to hide between some branches. What is?
Starting point is 00:30:44 But his legs are just hanging out. He thinks that just because he has his face covered like a toddler, he you can't see me. He thinks he's hidden. Munchan mistakes his huge meaty legs for just another bow of the tree and tries to climb them. His legs are trunks. So Munchan is hiding behind hard ones legs and you can see her face. Papa doesn't realize that you're in danger and he's just kind of walking around. I got a deposit Papa out of out of I'm depositing him up in the tree and staying up there. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and
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Starting point is 00:32:24 You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Papa scrambles. That little thing has probably like one bit more. Papa scrambles up into the tree as you guys go into the tree. Papa get into the trees. Beverly face plants in his scramble as the bully wugs rush into the forest to find you guys Beverly just tries to cover himself in mud and kind of hide
Starting point is 00:32:54 But that is what I would do. Yeah, you guys see Seven bully was that's still really bad come out and they find Beverly first all right. I I gotta send my lock. Ewok style. No, they hoist me, point their spears out. Oh, I got you. Oh, surrounded by seven more long spears. While you're on the ground.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Oh, I'm gonna wait this one out, see how Beverly handles it. So that's cool. So you see, they hold their spears to you, you see, they look kind of freaked out and confused. A bunch of them are Mumbling in bullywag real quick being like And you see one sticks his spear up to your chin, okay, and in broken common says
Starting point is 00:33:41 Are you here for the trampoline and says, Are you here for the jamboreen? Hahaha. Hahaha. What are you doing out there? I think I laugh. I try not to, I cover my mouth instantly, but I do, I do light out a little chuckle. Hahaha.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I can't really start laughing. So employed. The, sorry, the, a bunch of the bully wugs, two of them grab you, pick you up, and start walking you back. Okay. Shit, so we should be the first. So wait, where is this?
Starting point is 00:34:15 Yes, if you guys wanna do something right now, let me know. I am going to, I think we gotta go. Do you have spells? Well, no, I was gonna, I was gonna send my attic entity. So you're gonna turn into a symbionic entity? Yeah, so you know it's go time. Let's go. I you have spells? Well, no, I was gonna, I was gonna send by Addic Entity. So you're gonna turn into a Samba Addic Entity?
Starting point is 00:34:25 Yeah, so you know it's go time. Let's go. I don't have to say anything. Do you think as you're like a Sailor Moon transformation sequence that plays when you do that? Absolutely. Every time.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Except instead of like, you know, rock music or something, it's like, it's like bluegrass music. Ha ha ha ha ha. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. Oh, oh, washboard. Make it a tech. Oh, Lord. They haven't seen you yet. As they're dragging me away, I asked, are we doing suck races this year? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then go ahead and make an attack roar. Okay. That's gonna be eight to hit.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Eight to hit, that does not hit. And so you will. Wait, still Halo is poison. You Halo is poison. There's gonna be six hit points because I am the fungal queen. Moonshan jumps out of the tree. She misses big time with the cimitar.
Starting point is 00:35:20 The bully walk moves out of the last second. They all let out a croak of fear. Oh, oh. And then she, she spits her spores at him. And you see he coughs and he looks very upset by this. I cast Shalala. Shalala. Shalala. Shalala. Shalala. OK.
Starting point is 00:35:36 So my bonus act, so next time I use my Simitar. Shalala. Shalala. So you turn your Simitar into a Shalala. Hard one, if you want to take an attack, you can do it And the so hard one who was just about to whisper to the moon shine. Let's wait and see what Turns she's not there. He's like all right fuck Jumps out great acts over his head swinging at the other bully walk that's holding bev
Starting point is 00:35:59 That's an eight plus what is this the six? Yeah, so 14 that actually does not hit what 14 doesn't oh? I know you know what he's holding he's holding Beverly. He would not have his shield up so it will hit him He's little other fuckers of shields. Yeah, so go ahead and make your attack roll who the fuck sold shields They're making they have little wooden shields and stuff who is dealing arms to these swamp Definitely someone my dad knows. Heathens. Okay. That's a 12.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Oh, plus four. Plus four. Oh, hard one. After doing such a bad job, hiding and looking like a dummy, does come out of the tree and slash this dude in half. Hell yes. Just an extra of a half.
Starting point is 00:36:42 In half, this boy who goes down. There's something bad about us about cutting people in half and they can both who I go down. There's something bad ass about cutting people in half You would think that yeah, yeah, you're probably is Harden going on half or vertical in half. I really would prefer vertical in half Yeah, I like the vertical Mercenaries separate somebody ice cream eggs. Yeah ice cream. This is the second time. I've seen this So everybody roll initiative. Now we'll go into the actual fight.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Moonshine's looking at nine. Pop-ups in the tree, by the way. Safe in the tree. Touch the way. I got an eight. I got 14. Hard one, you actually go first. Good.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Which guy are you going for? There's the one that is pretty hurt that was holding Beverly that moonshine hits and there are five that have their spears in their shield up. Cool, I'm gonna turn around and swing for a healthy one. Let moonshine finish. Cool. Finish your guy. And I just rolled a 19.
Starting point is 00:37:39 That hits. And then a 13. Cool. You fucking chop this dude down. Good. Let's do the cavity. Just old 13. Cool. You fucking chop this dude down. Good. Let's do cavities. Just old school.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Hey, Merrill. I say, oh, Aladdin style again. Could you break me off? Oh, I'm Mulan style. As these bully walks die, could you give me like a little sample of what they say? Because their voices are very funny. No! My mother!
Starting point is 00:38:01 Oh, dear. That sounded bad. Oh, no, this is not good. Moonshine has nothing but respect for family. Especially father. His mother is right next to him. Oh, no. March on. Oh my God, this is a family business.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Oh my God, that's actually family. This is an army pop shop. This is an army pop shop. Bulleywugs rolled so poorly. You guys should be being punished for your behavior right now. Fucking making Bullywugg sounds to trick a goddamn Bullywugg. I think that was a great move. It was a very good plan.
Starting point is 00:38:34 I've just got to work on being sexy. I, uh, yeah, we're gonna have to practice. Okay, uh, I have to grapple, right? No, they let you go because they've been attacked. Okay, cool. One of them's dead, the other one's dead. one so you are you are right next to the bully woke that moonshine attack yeah and then there are now four behind you because hard one killed one killed two right killed well he killed two he killed the one that
Starting point is 00:38:55 was holding Beverly and he killed one that was in the group of five all right great access I'm starting to believe that beard is real Give it a gentle tug Oh shit, I thought that was a vehicle along. I Guess I'll just go for the one nearest me Five so nine that does not so you swing at this dude this guy moves out of the way He picks up his shield and spear and they are gonna take swings at you guys So these four guys that are near hard they are gonna take swings at you guys. So these four guys that are near hard one
Starting point is 00:39:28 are gonna surround him. Where did that 15-8-3-2? Oh fuck, I forgot to use my second win. Yes, please use that. Okay, so they're gonna attack. The first guy tries to bite hard one. Whoa, savage. Which I guess.
Starting point is 00:39:43 So 13 is not gonna hit you, so the bite, but then he gets to make a spear attack. Frogs on it with my hand. You slap his teeth away. They don't get all the way. Merri Frogs don't have teeth. I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm looking at the fucking monster man. You only got a damn bite.
Starting point is 00:39:57 So it's just going to go on with who walks to carry. Guy gags. 16 hits. Does that hit you? What's your AC? 16. OK. That is a seven damage to hard one. Oh. Three guy gags. 16 to hit. Does that hit you? What's your AC? 16. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:05 That is a seven damage to hard one. Oh! I'm fucking, I'm fucked up. That puts me in, too. Okay. You still have a potion though. Second guy takes a swing at hard one. No!
Starting point is 00:40:19 And he misses with his spear. Now he's gonna go with his bite, which yes, frogs can bite apparently. Oh my god. That is a 15 toa-hit. That does not hit you. Cool. So hard on dog just out of the way. Barely, barely. It's probably just like faints instead of ducks. Hard one passes out for a second. That saves his life. Yeah, you're sort of drunken master style. Yeah. Losing so much blood. I just can't stop thinking about a frog with human teeth now, and it's really tripping it up.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Just like a really nice mile. Yeah, just third frog. God, who's your dentist? This next frog flashes a nice, two of these smiles. It goes into bite hard one. Your gum tears like dang, they don't get that. It goes to bite you with his fangs, any misses.
Starting point is 00:41:05 They're not fangs, they're just regular unity. Just human-teeth. Yeah. Like, we're definitely like, two bully walks have braces. They just look like little chick-ling. I might as well get a Hollywood smile. And a little leads to floss. My teeth are garbage, and I do have braces,
Starting point is 00:41:20 so I'm very jealous of these bully walks. Okay, tries to stab you with a spear, and he is going to succeed. Oh, everyone's going down, this changes the strategy. That's two damage, what are you at? That'll put me to zero. Okay, oh shit, one goes down. Goddamn it.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Do you got any heels on you? This other one, I got a potion. I know I use my potion, but he's got one on it. Runs forward and goes after Beverly. Okay, and he is going to hit with his bite. Yes, he does bite with his human teeth, and that's gonna be three damage, okay, and then he's gonna swing you with his spear. That is a 20 to hit, and then he hits you for seven damage, ten damage total, cool, cool,
Starting point is 00:42:00 cool, cool, and then the other guy, good numbers, come at me. The other guy swings at moonshine, because moonshine just, that's the brow right. Hit him. And he misses with his spear, and that was gonna go for his bite, and he misses with his bite.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Back up to a hard one, hard one, give me a death saving throw. If you fail three times, you die forever. 13 plus what? It's not plus anything, you gotta be to 10, so you gotta 13. So that's a success. 10 or higher is a success. So you've got one success. Okay. We'll stabilize if you get three successes.
Starting point is 00:42:28 If you get three deaths, you will be dead. So you don't do it right now. So you just do one each round. Well, it's really tight. And if you roll 18 the second time. So Jake, we'd really miss you if you died here. I will kill myself. All right. Moonshine's a little peeved because she's in her fungus form right now. Yeah. So her hospitality is at the wayside. And her ovaries are just thrumming. That she's got her shillaly and she can't use it because she's got to go over and cure wounds to hard one.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Okay. Nice guy. You do have the one guy right in front of you who's going to get an opportunity attack on you if you go over to hard one. He's going to get an opportunity attack. He's right on top of you.'s gonna get an opportunity attack on you if you go over to hard one. He's gonna get an opportunity attack. He's right on top of you. Mm. Don't worry about me.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Okay, I'm gonna leave you for now. In that case, I just, I just shill alien this bitch. Okay, swing your shill alien at his head. 14. That does not hit. What? Swing your shill alien up. He blocks with his shields.
Starting point is 00:43:24 They got shields. It's got damn magical. Doueli up. He blocks with a shield. But it's got the magical. Do you support him? Do you support him? And then I just support him. You're sporing for six? I do want my little... You should spore into his big toothy mouth. I said fight this bitch.
Starting point is 00:43:39 He fights down in a mushroom that grows out of his head and his head explodes. He's dead nice And I a tear comes to my eye the beauty of life and death From death there I Let me tell you my name before I die family people. Let me tell you my name before I die. Bev, you're up. Okay, I will run towards the bully walk closest to hard one. Okay, to defend. I want to try something.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Okay, you can give me that classic bribe Murphy, yes or no? Yes, sir. I pull out the snake tooth. I took earlier. Okay. And I want to try and stab one of the bully walks with it. Cool. See if it's gonna poison him. Go for it. I mean, you are pretty powerful, probably more powerful than a poisonous snake tooth, but I like this.
Starting point is 00:44:32 I like this. I feel like maybe this is a retro- It's creative, I think, maybe they'll see me do this and be like, oh, he's killed one of those big snakes. He's not to be fortunate. You should hide it in your finger so they think that you just have a poisonous touch. Oh, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Yeah, I do that. Okay. The Man of Legend. 15. Oh. Okay, that does hit. Yeah. Go ahead and roll me a D4.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Okay. For dagger damage. It's a two, seven total. Seven total and then, yeah, sure. This one time you can roll a D6 for Poison damage, but that'll be all his. Yeah, it's a pass. I don't know how you bet how venom works.
Starting point is 00:45:09 It just stays on their teeth. Don't add it. It's stored in little cavities. I know this because I have the merit, bad. All right. All right. I will do two. I have to power you.
Starting point is 00:45:18 So what is the total damage you've done? Okay, shit. You've done nine. Yeah, okay, nine damage. Cool. Do you stab this dude for nine damage? Open Palm Slam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:29 He, I think I just like slap him. Yeah. I think that's what I would do. He lets out a pained croak. No, it's my birthday. I'm gonna do a constitution saving. Good Lord. I really don't think we should have been doing this.
Starting point is 00:45:44 But the T-Share, I like to whip up a nice stew for someone who's at the birthday. Okay, he does not get poisoned, but you did some poison damage. Okay, okay. So that takes us to the Boolewugs. So there's three that are gonna swing on Beverly, because right there and then the other one's gonna go on Moonshan. Is he gonna turn around? Bite first, misses, spearar misses, second guy. Spear misses.
Starting point is 00:46:07 Yeah, you have an T.O.C. I just rolled a small, I just rolled a two, a four, a two, and a three. I am as the wager. But also, Beverly's just doing a river dance, getting out of the way. Oh, God, it's beautiful. I've taken Cattillion.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Okay. This last guy is going to take a swing at Beverly, and he's going to hit. I'm so sorry. No! Please put the spear. Ooh, it's only two damage. Oh, great. So you take two damage, but he's still going to try to bite you.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Yeah. Cool. So he goes to bite you, and you catch his teeth. His big human teeth on your shield. Nice. Oh, the idea of teeth on your shield. Nice. Oh, yeah, do you have teeth on the shield? Yes. Do any of the teeth stay in the shield? Do any of the Beverly does have a teeth collection? I'm starting a collection. Yeah. He's walking the walking around the world with you guys and your your mushroom and your teeth. Big
Starting point is 00:47:01 Bullywag front tooth on your shield. You have half a tooth. I'm starting a craft bully-wug teeth are now canon. You should keep it in your shield though. So everyone knows that you've faddled not to do is I'm going to like, I'm going to paste all of the teeth on top of my shield. It's a little craft project. Why don't you do that after you haven't died? Oh yeah, I'm just letting you know.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Cool. So this other guy is gonna attack Moonshine. I said bring it on. And hits. Try and bite me bitch. For two, if you rolled a one on his damage, I'm just gonna try to bite you. Oh, he crits.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Oh no. First crit. Good, I'll mark him, bitch. What the fuck, Murr? You think I have an ever slipped-out sign? Let the skaters bite me. I'm afraid to get bit All right, he gives you a big chumpy bully-wug bite from five damage yikes
Starting point is 00:47:57 Nothing hard one. Ro me a death saving throw bud. Oh boy again. Use the 18 from last time you cannot That was a three. Oh, God. I saw I was a single digit knowing you. I was like, dear Lord, hard one starts here. Malore hard one starts gurgling on blood. Okay. Things are looking pretty dire over there. Whoo. That is good. This isn't good. Okay, so if I want to run over to a hard one,
Starting point is 00:48:18 they're going to get attacks of opportunity. One guy will. All right, I got to take it. Yeah, so he's going to take an attack on you. And he misses. I got to take it. Yeah, so he's gonna take an attack on you and he misses oh Thank you, Melora. Okay, and then I'm in a cure wounds. I'm gonna cure wounds hard one cool nice So hard one that's gonna when you're when you're in the symbionic form Do you just kind of like feed him a mushroom? Yeah, I do like good spores.
Starting point is 00:48:46 I have bad spores that I do with the bad guys. Good spores. Push it past the blood coming out of my mouth. One of them, they're both green, but one is a slightly different shade of green. It's very important that you know which hue is which. And it is very dark. Oh, that's going to be 12.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Ooh. Very nice. What does that mean? You pop back up and I have 12 HP. And then you know the, and then you know the dude that Beverly hit? Yes. I... Kiss of spores.
Starting point is 00:49:11 How do you want to kill him? Well, I'll say finish him. That'll be my thing. Finish him? Finish him. I guess I'd like to go over and kiss him on his toothy mouth and just basically vomit spores into him. Gross.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Everyone feels like it. He dies. Almost vomit. Does he have any last words? Can I get it? My first kiss. Yes. Oh, I was thinking the exact same thing.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yes, we did. So is that for him. I was thinking it. But she is super fucking hot. I wipe my mouth and I say, you know what? That's not a bad way to go. that's not a bad way to go. That's not a bad way to go. I should be kissing all of them.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Very important question, Murf. Do the bullie wugs believe in heaven? Yeah. Yeah, can I use my action to ask if they believe in heaven? Yeah. They say no and stab you there. Fab, you're up. OK, all right, shit.
Starting point is 00:50:03 You got three bullie wugs left. They have not been attacked. And hard one is stabilized. Hard one's fine. All right, also as all of his goddamn abilities, as a new sanny of mine. I mean, you're like, I'm, I'm, I am either cutting people in half into capitating them
Starting point is 00:50:16 or dead. Past of it. But truthfully, that's kind of what fighters do. Surely once you like, you start to use your abilities, I think you're gonna find that you stay up a little more hard one's got fucking You got one speed and I don't even know what great weapon fighting is Oh, that you can re-roll ones and twos on your damage. I'm a moron Yeah, feel free to do any level not smart
Starting point is 00:50:41 I feel free to do any level of research just any level. Do any of the words on that sheet? Yeah, maybe people at home can just tweet how to play. Do at J. Do at J. Do at J. Do at J. Do at J. Bevy, you got three of these bullies. I'm going to position myself in front of hard one. Okay. I don't need it. I'm good. You see Beverly is protecting two and a half feet of you. Yeah. No, my fist clinches, my eye shine with courage and determination. He is Naruto. Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna say this is so anime. Get your hands off my scout mask. Yeah. That's what I say, but my voice does crack when I say it. And then I attack the nearest one.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Great, go for it. Nat 20, baby. Nice. Roll two D8. And then that just had your modifier once. Just got its own create twice. That's an eight. That's a nat eight.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Nice. A nat eight. The famous nat eight. We created with the eight. And a net eight nice a net eight the famous Mattie We credit with eight and a five critical 13 plus what is your attack damage? Yeah, yeah, yeah, plus five. So 18. Don't oh my god Young Beverly Beverly finish him. I think Beverly is Rockley from Neruda. Yeah, I Say this is for hard one! And I do, I do straight up, I do straight up link from Zelda spinning slash.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Nice, beautiful. Very cool. And you cut them in half. I think I probably just like, or what do you do? What do you do? I'm, how tall are they? They're, they're dwarf size. They're like four half tall. Okay, so yeah, I could cut them in half. If you want to send them my way, I'm, how tall are they? They're, they're dwarf size. They're like four, or half tall.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Okay, so yeah, I could cut them in half. If you want to send them my way, I can kiss them. Seems like it's maybe... Barely also, it gives a kiss to death. I say, there really good, there's really nothing else. Regular, regular vomits into his throat. And when they're, yeah. When they like slide apart after I cut them in half,
Starting point is 00:52:41 I say thanks, but I already have my dissection badge. Oh! That's bad, dude. That's really good. Bad. Good boy. Good boy. We both had his head and said, good boy.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Is it weird that I like this? It's weird that I like this. It's good. It's because you're doing it for an honorable reason. That's right. We're going to get you your murder patch, but. Pelora shines upon, that's not a real patch. It will be. That's right. We're gonna get you your murder patch, but. Hell or shine's upon, that's not a real patch. It will be.
Starting point is 00:53:08 That's one of the forbidden patches. Hey, I'll whip you up a murder patch. Oh, thank you. So these bully wugs are gonna have. So making up patches for you. I'm gonna swing down on this little demon boy. And he misses with his first attack, and he goes to bite. And he misses with his bite attack and he goes to bite And he misses with his bite. They're so intimidated. Other guys swings on Beverly misses with his bites and
Starting point is 00:53:33 Misses with his spear. Yeah, that is hard. Oh, great. I'm gonna use my second wind Great. Go ahead and roll a d10. No, this is gonna get that plus your fighter level. This is so good. Jake, this is basically like you getting back up and being like, I wasn't passed out. Yeah. You weren't fighting at full strength before. I didn't pass out and went my pants. I was confident in your pants.
Starting point is 00:53:57 It's mock, it's mock. It's just messed up in the swamp. Man the swamp smells like shit. Ooh, that's an eight. But add anything to it. Plus your anything to it. So ten total so you get 10 HP back great soul for head That's a bonus action. I think that's who that's 22. I believe that's a bonus action so you can still make an attack now Is second win like he he takes off his like weighted bands and he's got like a little extra energy I like to like unbraid my hair. Okay, shake out the main Shit, yeah, what do I roll? You can make an attack hard one became hot one I like to like unbraid my hair. Okay, shake out the babe. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Yeah. What do I roll? You can make an attack. Hard one became hot one. Ooh. That's his old story. That's right. That hits.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Great axe. And go ahead and attack him a ladden style. Opa, a ladden style. Hit him for a 16. Holy shit. I'm going great axe. Instead of like top down, I'm going great acts instead of like top top down. I'm going cock the head. That's fucking one.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Oh my god. It was yo yo around the world thing. He feels everything. He's conscious through the whole thing. He doesn't die until the acts hits his brain stem. And you can see how much pain he's in as his face contorts. And he's got any his face contorts and he's got that. Any last words from him? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:07 No, the guy next to him says, Jesus Christ, that's my dad! Ha! All of us were so- He's not making any more children any time soon. Moonshan. Oh, okay. How many of these guys are left?
Starting point is 00:55:21 One or just one? Then I go to the guy who said, that's my dad and I say, you should be with your father wait no that's hospitable should we like trying question him or something? It's too late, okay And And I am already said her line. I think yeah, I asked that question and as that Should we question him he's dead Okay
Starting point is 00:55:44 15 15 to hit that does hit oh Baby okay, so I get to do lots of exciting damage. Let's question lots of exciting damage to this Okay, so I get a father of a child plus my a spellcasting modifier, which is five so 10 plus I get to roll an extra D6 for your symbiotic entity stuff. I would like to question him about heaven. 12, bitch. 12 total? Yeah. Whoa. This dude is dead, finish him.
Starting point is 00:56:11 OK, I'm going to just disembowel him. I feel like way from playing. That's good. That's awesome. That really is just a lie. I'm going to take it and just do a nice smooth, but shallow enough cut that it doesn't cut them in half But instead just spills before his guts come out. I say Beverly's right. He might have some good
Starting point is 00:56:31 Intel Inside's far out of the stuff as as the insiders Beverly distant bells him with his show lately Just shoves it up as ash Mooshie I'm sorry and then and then Mooshan says, maybe we share that dissection of ads. Uh huh. As he's. I could get into badges.
Starting point is 00:56:53 I do. It takes the patch off. Now, I give it to her. I give her the patch and say, you've earned it. And as the frogs in trails are bleeding out, I do go up and try and question him. Ha ha ha. Who's your leader? Where are you keeping the green teens?
Starting point is 00:57:10 It's dead frog, I stare at you. I'm gonna go through with... A thousand years of horror in his eyes. I'm gonna go through his guts to make sure it wasn't an expecting mother. It was alright, yeah. I'm gonna be sure of that. Yeah, there were twins in there. Hey, alright, yeah. I haven't been here a lot. I haven't been here a lot. I haven't been here a lot. I haven't been here a lot.
Starting point is 00:57:26 I haven't been here a lot. There were twins in there. Hey, Bradley. Cool. No. Can I work with the cap, did? You can't go ahead and keep racking your fire. No, I think we need to give.
Starting point is 00:57:34 This was, I, everything is inside. So just so you guys know, so you guys are out of battle now. You do hear commotion the whole thing. Oh, we got a hide. The whole camp knows that people are here. The guy went off. So we do not have time to do a proper burial. So I Pick some mug on top of them. Yeah, let's get that's that's a quick burial
Starting point is 00:57:51 Yeah, everyone gets a mug as you run away and hide a very honorable tradition. Yeah So you guys are gonna run and how far away are you guys gonna go? I think that we should run towards it and hide like at like the mouth of Oh, yeah, when you when you are guarding the air of fire, you get night blind, because you're looking at the light from the fire. Oh yeah, and when you look out into the woods, you can't really eat this.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Okay, yeah. All right, I won't give them advantage on their checks then. That's a good fact. Yeah, so I think that we've got- Re-gaming with Rose books people. We're a night blindness. Yeah, I think that we should try to run towards it, but like hide at like the mouth of where they'd be running out.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's really smart. The run right path. Okay, so you're going near the, so you're going near the tent, so everybody go ahead and give me a stealth roll. We all hold newspapers up to our face. You guys do this. Oh, I got a one.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Okay. But I have a mask of wild wild okay, then that's advantage Okay, so then we're all again Is this is a stealth check? Yes, I got a two. I got a shit. What you get a two? I had a 10 I got a nine oh God, so we're not that still Guys hey, I'm still sent by out again to me. I still got my shit going. But it's been back to 22. Let me see how long I've been delayed.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Let me just give a quick recap of the chain of events that just happened. Beverly threw his voice to try to sound like a female bully wug in feets. Oh, I sounded like a male. A lot of female. That wasn't the problem. Bullywug heard this. He was right next to a gong. I really think. Because my boys are so deep. Into the gong. Seven Bullywugs go out into the forest.
Starting point is 00:59:32 You guys manage to kill them after a hard one is knocked out. You do not run off. Wait for anything to die down. But rather approach the camp, make a ton of noise. As you see, seven more more bully wugs near the fire Clock you guys including a bully one king with a Make shift crown and a little robe You see he has a a wooden crown. That's like shittily made with jewels like pasted on
Starting point is 01:00:02 Well, I'm gonna be up the bully wall wall girl and that is where we will end our session Would you guys definitely about to die? Yeah, we might need a retreat. Thanks for listening Thanks everyone for listening. This is the last episode ever Sweet or ever listen next week to see how our heroes get out of this one Spoiler they don't Howard heroes get out of this one. Spoiler they don't. But yeah, guys, follow us on Twitter at J. Kerwitz at Call the at
Starting point is 01:00:30 Yachtford at CH Murf is me. Be sure to rate the podcast. They guys should make a moonshine Twitter at moonshine. Absolutely. Yeah, you got some good fan art. A little role playing on the side. Yeah, guys, thanks so much for the fan art. It's been amazing.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Oh my god. Check out the. I love it. Yeah, there's a subreddit. Yes art. It's been amazing. Oh my God. Check out the. I love it. Yeah, there's a subreddit. Yes, our not another D&D podcast. That's D&D, the letter N. Oh, and if you want to tweet about the show, we have via text chain decided it's hashtag nat pod.
Starting point is 01:01:01 Nat pod, nat pod, with 2Ds. With 2Ds. N-A-D-D-D D's NADD yeah, POD All my little net holes out there get ready to start I was taking the test. I took two to the chest Huh, mad pod POD did Youth of the nation try to keep up everyone Oh, no, oh no, I can't do the podcast anymore. First BOD reference, but not the last.
Starting point is 01:01:28 We are, we are, you know the nation, we are. Thanks for listening everybody. We're going to do our shout outs now for our new reviews. We couldn't do them together because we record the episodes in blocks so we wouldn't be able to keep up. But anyway, Otter remix champ asked for a shoutout from the DM himself. I am the DM himself. So shoutout Otter Remix Champ.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Couple people asked for shoutouts from Scoutmaster Denny, so here he is. Uh, Diure Rabbit and A Parkman 08. I would like to cordially invite you to next year's Jamboreen. Uh, because this year's Jamboreen is super canceled. Remember that? Please don't come! The green teens are gone! Alright guys, let's catch up with Hard One, Beverly, and Moon Shine.
Starting point is 01:02:10 They'll do their shoutouts, then I will do a big lightning round at the end with everybody who didn't specify. Thanks again. Hard One Surefoot would like to offer a nice, hardy, forearm handshake too, etc. Rob. hardy forearm handshake too, etc. Rob, putter there brother, MJD 1020, and HayGSYEB, Adrian, how the heck are ya? K Sutton 127, Swag Baller 2K16, what happened to the last two years Swag Baller? Have you been a Swag Baller or not. Cameron W. Pretty just okay guy. See guy 24 and L-boy, 85.
Starting point is 01:02:50 A letter to all my fellow green teens in the upper Galator on region, troop designation, golden popular. Dear Shockwave 527, Cier Bansky, S-rigly, Mr. Gender, forced to do this, Darren, still forest, Steven number five, Eka do this, Darren, still forest, Steven number 5, Ekasnupi, KinderBob, heck of a guy of 7,000 and good day mates. As you might have heard, the green teen jamborene is in peril, but worry not,
Starting point is 01:03:14 I, Beverly Togold, along with my two new scout masters, last best friends, have agreed to save the day. In the meantime, I need you all to make sure our true remains a shining example of what it is to be a green teen. Shockwave 527, practice your origami skills and you'll learn that 4th leaf patch in no time. And Mr. Gender, no matter what anyone says, here a very good boy. In Pellor's name and everlasting mercy, I remain Beverly Togold the 5th.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Goodbye! Hey y'all, Moon Shine here. Just wanted to extend the weddest, grimmiest, crit kiss to a few of my fellow mud buds. Lord Yorjid, queen of the bears, and heir to the throne of Ogle Thorpea, you sure do make a mean, buttered and battered crawltail. Love my wife who JHS, the Islas Rogue, Tamer and Fortim, and always pays debts. Y'all got house fatality for days. Never did I see a bed got turned down so nice.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Sadoo Joe O3, come on by if you ever get that goiter fixed. In fact here, couple of young and mushrooms heal that right up for you. B. Chillsam Connolly, Thurman RN, AJ-2196, and Paw Paws Lil Mama, y'all are just about as sweet and tasty as the first sludge of spring. And Don L-136, Jake and Amir and Grant, O-C-M-244, Bohara-45, and Rise Up Nation,
Starting point is 01:04:36 the whole mess you are as welcome as a cricket in a slug race. Pop-Pos, get it! Don't be known on my overalls. Oh, I see. Pop--up would also like to say hello to y'all five. Well, that's bad off now. Moonshot out. Murph back for the lightning round baby. Let's do this. Shout out to a dude 93, Master Catan, Poker Pokes you, K-Cal 5, Sox fan 423, Ryan KT, Sinai So-Win, Papaya Man 2247, Red Trush, Kill Bill 143, Noah Jake, Thawingin Norwall, Maybree, DeBid, Patriot Joker, The Clement, Desjardes, Actual
Starting point is 01:05:16 Merman, Spicy Miao, Guy Incognitos, Simon 914, Ramo 411, Girl Daisy, Choffmat, Black Synobia, Orphan face, Chicken Parmesan, Alec, Kosi, Ninja, 4LF3, Not Jarnit, Scoot, Scoot, McGavin, Jordan Schmool, Ninja Schwann, Ivan Jaganov, B-Can, 777, Shadow Striker 18, Gevertigo, Kale Football 56, Henkat 15, Maddy Cakes 124, Soft Chicken Boy, Jive G, Cookie Pants 22, Addy Exo, Bionk C, Ninja Key Blader, Lieutenant Lunchables, Debaker, Debaker 8633, Dragon Master 123, KaleLP, Kart Ross, Ruth Alfredo Saas, number one Gex Fan, Noss Red Nia Tech, Kiro Svetta, ASDDHK, Blue Furba Magoo,
Starting point is 01:06:16 Steve Linnon Camp, ripped off, Evan Lodge, Greg and San Jose, Victor Victoria, CMF Brock, Win2, and Weema 12. Thank you guys again for giving us reviews. If you guys want shout outs, leave us reviews, and specify which character you want it from, because let's face it, this lightning round is not sustainable.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Thanks again, guys. That was a hit gun podcast. Thank you.

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