Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 3: The Mating Habits of Bullywugs (The Moonstone Saga)
Episode Date: February 22, 2018Our almost-heroes continue their search for the missing Green Teens in the bog! Beverly makes use of his ropes AND mating call badge, Hardwon gets bark rash, and Moonshine debuts the fungal k...iss of death. Listen to the end for shoutouts for our new reviewers!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumya,
Hami Dungeon Master Brian Murphy,
joined by Jake Hurwitz,
called Walt Tanner and Emily Axford.
That's Moonchan.
Hello.
Hola.
Actually, Hollywood does not have Spanish.
Perfect.
I need to say hello in Dwarven.
Languages, Dwarven and Spanish.
But only because he worked in a Mexican restaurant.
I know Kase de A and Ola.
You found a magical stone called Duolingo.
Cool. So guys, let's do a little recap
and we can keep it loose and kind of talk through it.
But last session, the party was at the Hungary Trout
in in Tavern, that's where you started.
Mischka.
Where you just decapitated some troublesome barbarian folk,
some of the townspeople in Mischka,
the Half-Work bartender, helped you hide the bodies.
Yeah, you guys killed Crouch.
No, Crouch and Gresh.
Gresh is not dead yet.
Gresh is the head guy. Yeah. Mischka told you that Gresh was the leader. No, Crush and Gresh. Gresh is not dead yet. Gresh is the big guy.
Yeah, Mishka told you that Gresh was the leader.
You have not killed Gresh.
You have not even met Gresh.
Mishka was badass.
Bitch fought a dragon.
She did tell you that her and a group of towns people
had fought the dragon before the heroes ever came.
So she is kind of a badass.
She explained to you guys that these barbarians
were part of the cracked tooth clan
and that they were pretty much running the town.
Then you had your boy scout master,
Denny took you to visit Shay, the druid at the temple.
She was the gray-haired, Ageless druid lady.
I just like wanna go to her like yoga retreat in the least.
I wanna live in a yurt with her. Oh retreat in the leaves. I want to live in a yard with her.
Oh my God, yes.
Me and Shay in a yard just wrapped up in yoga mats.
That's what's keeping you warm in the bog right now.
Just that rounding and chia seeds.
So she blessed you guys.
She healed you up and she gave you some scrolls
of water walking.
But then you guys elected, instead of using
the scrolls of water walking, you saved them.
You elected to take a boat across.
You snuck by that barbarian druid dude,
then traveled to a dilapidated dock
on the other side of the bay.
You headed into the swamp to search
for the missing green teens who were dragged off
by the bullie wugs.
You picked up their trail and managed to kill
a couple of the bullie wugs scouts.
I believe hard one, chopped one in half.
That's correct.
And Beverly stabbed one into a tree.
I feel like you're really glossing over
some of hard ones' failures.
I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know.
Those guys are like, let's continue with the recap.
I was hit by two spears before that.
Was it?
You fell into a puddle later.
No.
Then you guys fought a giant snake.
There was so long ago that burst out of a murky pool of water
and hard one killed the snake.
And let's get started with the episode.
Hard one, finish it off while yelling
Opal Latin style in reference, of course,
to Beverly also yelling Opal Latin style earlier
in the fight.
Moonshine then cut up the snake to possibly make some
Jumbalaya in the future.
Can we get a quick jumble lia recap?
We have a frog leg.
Yeah, you do have a frog leg and some snake skin
or just like I guess a big hunk of snake.
Yeah, snake, frog.
Uh-huh.
You know, I think we're gonna be a hell of a stinky jumble lia.
It's gonna be a real aquatic jumble lia.
No rice, no veggies.
Hard one is not hungry.
Okay, so let's get started.
So you guys are in this swap.
You've just killed this giant 15 foot long snake,
body as thick as hard one's neck.
There's this pool of muddy water in front of you
that seems to work like quick sand.
Beverly lost his javelin there.
All right, yeah.
Is it not frozen?
Is it not frozen?
I had frozen it.
No, it does not freeze because your spell
doesn't work if there's a creature in there
Yep, no it I was just for dramatic effect saying that the snake burst through the ice
But there's not that but it actually your spell fizzled for practical purpose right?
Familiating for those keeping track for those keeping track. I didn't make a goddamn mistake. Don't at me
Every time I don't follow the rules perfectly
I'm gonna say don't at me. Every time I don't follow the rules perfectly, I'm going to say don't at me.
Absolutely. Can I, uh, can moonshine do a little look to see if there are any hanging
vines around? Give me an investigation check. You can see that there are hanging vines
obviously, but let's see how much you see.
Fish that's going to be a, um, hmm, that's going to be numbers. 18. 18, wow, right?
Okay, you can see,
so you've got this murky pool of quicksand,
you know, some World War I type water mud in front of you.
You see around the vines and stuff,
you see that there are some branches broken and stuff,
and it looks like some of the bully wugs
may have climbed up and jumped across
to some hanging branches on the other side.
Oh, so there's not like a tarzan vine.
There is not a tarzan vine.
You would need to climb across Monkey Bar style.
Gotcha.
Kind of hang and swing.
You need to do a little jump.
Hmm.
I could do a little jump.
Yeah.
Do you want to do a little jump?
You guys would have to climb up first.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll climb up.
Okay, give me a climb check.
Athletics.
16.
16, great.
You scurry up that tree.
You're able to work your way across the branches.
And there's a little jump that you can make to get to the branch of a tree on the other
side.
Well, before I do that, I want my compatriots to join me up here probably, unless you guys
want me to do recon. So we can't just walk around the puddle you could but it's so so the the
It's not it's not a it's not a puddle. It's not a puddle. It's a giant pool of water
Okay, 20 feet across to the other side where you see the bullywug tracks pick up again
And you see it as far as you can see to the east and as far as you can see to the west, it is going.
Oh, so you can take the long way around,
but you're gonna need to do roles for tracking
to see if you can find the four wires.
Wait a second, I'm gonna drop, I've got pop-ups leash.
I'm gonna drop pop-ups leash and I can help you guys up.
Oh, okay, sure.
I think we all have one.
Yeah, you guys do have rope too,
but you can use pop-ups leash for a while.
Can you win off?
Let's literally hop up on my shoulders.
Reach pop-ups, Leash.
And I don't know.
I have a question.
Does pop-ups, Leash, have like a harness aspect on it?
Is it like one of those?
Yeah, so it is attached to pop-ups.
Okay, so.
Oh, it's,
so she's lowering pop-ups.
So you have pop-ups on his leash right now, right?
So are you?
It's pop-ups.
Well, I can either lower pop-ups to you or I can hold pop-up on lower his leash right now, right? So are you? It's Papa. So you can either lower Papa to you
or I can hold Papa on lower his leash.
I'm gonna go Papa cannot.
Wait, okay, so are you hanging on to Papa's leash?
So you are gonna be pulling up,
I guess you could pull up Beverly,
he probably only weighs 50 pounds.
Yeah, pull me up, a hard one you're on your own.
Whoa.
That's me.
Okay, so Papa is on this leash.
Yeah.
No, Papa is like in my overalls, and then I've wrapped the leash
around one of the straps of the overall,
and then I'm letting it down.
So there's sort of like a ballet.
Oh, okay.
I am going to strap myself into the harness.
Great.
I'm going to be like a good boy clips into the leash. Oh, blow it on. Give me.
Everyone is just like, shh.
I, I'm ready. Proceed. I, I noticed that you did a bad knot. So I fix your knot real quick.
I say, what do you feel I went down there? Nothing. It's just I,
mm, some shoddy craftsmanship, but I've, I've got my, I have my notman's badge, so I'll fix that right up for you.
Okay, that's real cute.
Get on up, your child.
Here I go.
All right, so you're climbing up with a leash.
I guess I'll give you advantage on a climb check.
Go ahead and take your time.
Yeah, because it's a strong-ass leash.
Okay, yeah, yeah, pop-up does try to run away all the time.
Oh, that's a 10 plus your athletics.
Oh, plus five, great.
Great, 15, you sc. Great. Great. 15.
You scurry right up there.
Your pop-off starts licking at you like crazy.
Suddenly, he wants the leash now that he doesn't have it.
Right.
And he starts kind of biting at you, kind of biting at the leash
and pulling.
Pop-off, please.
Hard one, that's you, man.
Cool.
He's going to roll on one.
I shout down and say, hard one.
Do you want the leash?
Of good.
No, I dangle it down.
I'm dangle it down in his face. Hard one ignores the leash, Of good. No, I dangle it down. I'm dangling it down in his face.
Hard one ignores the leash, runs up and would I roll the 20?
Yeah, I roll the detour.
And I do add it.
I do add it.
Plus your athletics.
Should be like a plus six, right?
Okay, I rolled an eight.
What?
That's okay.
Well, I got a plus six, that's a 14.
That's a 14.
Cool, so hard one not as easily as the ever leave the leash still manages to get up with should have used the
Lee with his pride mostly intact wow hard one looks like the
Bark of the tree really scratched you up
You just got red marks all over you little too out of breath
I do offer him a band-aid
so you guys are up in this tree now and you
need to do a little jump to reach the branch on the other side or else you will fall 15
feet down into this pool of quicksand. Could we use our rope, our actual rope, not our
pop-up harness, and kind of like lasso over to the other branch.
Yeah, go for it.
Ooh, and then we can make a zip line.
We can make a zip line.
Okay, so you're gonna try that kind of tie
a little lasso.
I'm already on my separate arm then break it.
Just chase it off.
You're stranded, guys.
Are you making like a little lasso?
Yeah, I'll make a lasso.
Roll me a survival check, I guess.
Okay, I think I'm good with that.
Should be pretty good at it.
Survival.
You are a little boy scout.
I see.
You should be.
Ooh, 16 plus 3.
Nice, great.
Okay, yeah, you make a little lasso, huh?
That's 30 as fuck, man.
I say I do this and I successfully make the zipline
and I kind of like solemnly work for it.
You don't successfully make the zipline, my man.
Okay.
You got to throw the lasso now.
Now make a really good lasso.
It is a good lasso.
You got a good lasso right now
and you can throw the lasso within a tack roll.
So just make a ranged attack.
So that's 10.
You got a 10 total?
Yeah.
Okay.
So you throw the lasso, you see it go into the thickets
of branches and leaves of the other tree,
but it's kind of hard to see you pull on it.
And it seems to be pretty strong.
The knot, I look dubiously at your merit patch
for advanced propons.
Ah!
No, no, but the knots will hold, the knots.
It's all about the knots.
Ha!
Yeah, you hold it and tighten it,
and I just think of Scoutmaster Denny saying,
good boy!
It's good to you.
I rip it off and give you the patch.
Hold onto this until I need it,
till I'm ready for it.
You'll learn the fact.
I'll go first as a show of good faith.
Okay, cool.
Don't need to roll again.
You want more to bat you?
Yes, okay.
Give me a acrobatics check.
Or no, acrobatics or athletics.
And do it with advantage,
cause you got the rope there.
I have a plus five in athletics,
I'm gonna do that.
Great.
That's a 15.
Great, cool.
You, you're able to scurry across.
Can I do it, can I do it cheer?
As I go?
Yes you can.
Oh my god, let's go away.
Shh, shh, shh.
Shh.
Sorry, I appreciate you.
I fully want to send on you from all direction.
Quickly killing Beverly.
Ha ha ha. I'm just gonna killing Beverly. It's Gully's Gully!
Do you scurry across?
You get luck not to say it.
You get to the other tree, you're able to move the leaves out of the way
and come see where your lasso ended up.
You see that it's in a little bit of a precarious position,
not on quite as strong of a branch,
as perhaps you would have liked,
and if hard one or moonsh had gone perhaps they might have fallen
Beverly perhaps you want to uh perhaps you want to a tighten up that wait can they see that I did a bad job they can't see that you did a bad job okay hold on
So like quickly fix it
I give it a big tug
Beverly how's it look over there all good down here all good
Okay, sir you did you fixed it fixed it. Okay
Okay, very sturdy has always been sturdy and remains as such
So I took I took a papa in my
Overalls and I take my washboard and I zip line across oh nice really okay give me
You know, I You're gonna have it. I will literally give me a
I'm just saying it's gonna make beautiful music as I go across. Okay. Give me a performance
I
Don't know how to deal with this
Another beautiful song, but a watch more just the metal just burned down the room
Oh, no, I'm doing the other side. I'm doing the other side.
You're doing the other side.
Good on the wood on the roof.
It's so crazy.
As she does it, it's exactly the melody
for Sammy Charm kind of life.
Great.
I got 11.
11.
Okay.
It's pretty impressive and cool.
You do that thing that happens
in zip lines sometimes where you start to go
and then you kind of stop and you have to swing
yourself a little.
So she is able to get herself across. But only only because of only because the weight of my huge fertile
boobs just like propels me hard helps me
scooch you can see that maybe she could have died by doing that yeah but she's
able to lamely scoot across the very end of it and she gets into the other tree
with Bev it's like a little too sexual as I hump my way across. I feel like yeah hard would pretend not to notice
Do you like do that anime thing where like use slide in and kind of like squish up against me with your boobs?
Yeah, yeah, it's real pervy. I have Beverly gets a nose. I do get it
God I really want to try doing the the zipline on the great access.
You can do that. Yeah, go for it. Cool. I'm ziplining on the great access.
Hell yeah. Okay, not the plated part, correct? No, no, no, no.
Just the wood. Okay, great. Wood on rope. What do I get? The 20? Yes. I made her do a performance check,
but that was kind of silly. So let's just say athletics. I rolled a butt.
Okay, you also got in the left. Thank God, I didn't make you roll a performance check because you would have been in that quicksand. So hard one does the same thing. He jumps
up thinking, oh this looks like so much fun. Starts to swing down, gets stuck halfway, and then awkwardly, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Really? I give Beverly his patch back. You earned this now, son.
Thank you.
I quickly sew back on with my sewing skills.
It takes three hours.
I greatly remove the sewing patch.
Okay, fair enough.
So you guys are in this tree on the other side of the muddy pool.
Are you guys going to try to climb down or what do you want to do from here? I would like to take a little look. I would like to survey the scene.
That seems smart. Yeah. Cool. Give me a perception check. I lend her my spyglass.
Very good.
Oh, bitch. That's gonna be a 23. 23.
23. Nice. That's right. Well, you know, we got good eyesight down here.
You could send a fucking galator off from up here.
So you say you, it is difficult for you to kind of see anything because there are all
of these other trees around. It's just, you know, a big thicket. It's difficult for you
to see. But you do see smoke from a fire north to you. And to the the west you can see the top of a castle.
A castle?
Yeah, like a keep.
So we don't know about this castle.
This is a note.
You know that the dragon shadowfang lived in a castle in the swamp.
Okay.
Well, first off, y'all, we got smoke and you know what they say about smoke, where there's smoke, there are youngins.
Yeah, aha, that's not what, yeah.
That's not quite what they say, but yeah.
There are youngins.
They love the stuff.
Our youngins down by the creek play with a lot of fire.
Anyway, so I've been with you guys.
You guys are bad with children.
Go on.
Honestly, down at the creek, they outnumber the adults.
Five out. We'll make the rules. So outnumber the adults, five out.
Totally big the rules.
So they make the rules.
A place where kids rule.
Sounds cool to me.
It's very place.
It's so crazy that one day you guys are
going to have to go to the creek.
And I just have to keep a running list
of all the stupid shit that we all have to play with fire.
It's children of the corn.
And there is a lot of corn.
Second point of interest is next to that,
there is the spire of a castle.
Now, I obviously know right now that's not.
It's a little, it's kind of far away.
It's not exactly in the...
So that's not directly of interest to us right now,
but perhaps it is something that if we save these youngins.
Yeah, it's safe for them to keep.
It could be a good place to hide out in case of danger.
Yeah, I mean, I love squatting.
I love finding just an abandoned house
and just living there for three to six months.
Sorry.
Strange hobby.
That's interesting.
I'll tell you why.
That's a personal passion that you are.
I live in a house with my mom and dad,
but that's a way to do it.
Yeah.
Shall we proceed to the north?
Yeah, let's go save the kids.
How are you guys at HP wise and stuff?
Oh shit, I think.
15, baby.
I think I'm at nine.
Okay, that makes sense.
I don't think I got hurt.
Is this something like what is it?
I don't think you got hurt.
Do you have any sort of concept of like how pressing this is
if we need to like, if we need to get to them right away
or if we could take an ad?
I feel like it's pressing.
Or it's pressing.
Whenever kids are missing.
That's really pressing right now.
Yeah.
There's like the ritualistic sacrifice.
We've all seen the first 48.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do we want to sleep in it?
Don't find the green teens within 48 hours. Although
it would be fun to put up a little hammock in a tree. Yeah, but we could do that once we
find the green teens. Yeah, I could, well hold on, I think I'm out of spells, so I don't
know if I can do it. I have. I have. You are out of spells, right? I've got second
wind. Okay, I still have action surge as well. We haven't used any of your stuff. No, I have
not out of strategy. I think you just forgot of your stuff. No, I have not added
yet. I think you just forgot that you have. I just don't really look at the tape. So it kind of works out.
Heartless, too proud to ever accept everyone else that you use all of their spells to save your life because you aren't using your own abilities.
Munchite is currently has like a poultice of healing herb that she's trying to put on all of his bark rashes. Oh good.
You guys have potions, though.
Yeah.
One potion, one potion has been used.
I say we book it.
I say we just try and get these youngins.
I mean, they are the priority.
They are the future.
Yep.
Yeah, okay, great.
Let's go for it.
So you guys continue to make your way.
We're stealthing.
I'm going for a mask of the wild.
Great.
Oh, go ahead and give me a stealth roll with advantage because you got that mask of the wild. 14. 14. Okay,
pretty good. So you start making your way through this. Just pretty good. So I'm like doing
a really good job stealthing but I'm also humming loudly. Spores are growing every
one. Yeah, you're unseeable but you are singing a crick song.
Little by.
And Papa is never stealth.
Yeah, Papa's just gone, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr little burps. Which is over and over again. Ah, ah, ah.
He's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really,
he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he's really, he He thinks they're armed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, we're talking like campfire or bonfire or original is exactly for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it like a fun bonfire that everyone's dancing around and
drink? Oh, it's about fire where underage teens are drinking.
Yeah, more of like a cooking fire.
Okay. We're cooking those fucking kids.
Oh, I smell.
You smell dry brine.
It's your dry brine on those kids.
You're not you're not close enough yet.
You have vinegar or sugar.
Go ahead and give me a perception check.
I got a roll for somebody.
I like to think that hard one is saying all these things do beverage-leach, be like they're
fucking eating those kids.
I don't know.
I think you're positive at it too.
No, they're probably going to try and get a ransom form or something.
I got a 10.
You got a 10.
What is the perception check?
That's the 20 sided?
Yes.
Every check is 20 sided.
Oh yeah, you guys can all give me perception checks.
15 plus something.
Yeah, what is it plus?
It's plus your perception.
Yeah, it's one of your skills.
Of course.
Zero.
Great, okay.
That will be six.
Cool. So hard one. it starts walking towards the fire.
Yeah, it's a very hard one.
You have like sweaty hands or something
that are like, it's got a lot of seconds.
It's the overconfidence.
Or are you in Vegas?
It's a very bad, the problem is the hubris.
It's a, yeah.
That's right.
It's God punishing you.
That's exactly right.
It's just a little more humble, I would be better.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh cool. Just a little more humble. I would be better. All right.
So Bev, you clock a single bully
walk standing guard.
Uh-oh.
He looks a little bored.
You see him, you know, nonsulantly
stick his tongue out and eat a fly as it
buzzes by.
He's holding a giant hammer.
He's holding a giant hammer in two hands.
And he's near a big hanging metal sheet.
Looks like some kind of improvised gong.
And yeah, in the distance, you can see the fire
and you can hear some chatter.
Is it just me or does this feel like the jamboreen is happening?
I mean, it did have a big gong.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
We do have a gong at the joline. This isn't the trampoline.
Oh, it feels like I now that she's put the idea in my head. I see the gong. Be quiet. Don't celebrate.
Okay. All right. It's not the trampoline. No, no, no, no, no, Calu Calis right now. Okay. Okay.
Siley, you can do, you can do a mental colloquy colloquish Okay
Now I can tell by the way that that pulley well he's standing that it is in heat
So I know what that is. He just mixes ass
I don't think that's gonna affect anything, but just be weary. I don't know. I someone who's in heat for
Most days of the year. Uh-huh.
It does affect you, you know.
Water retention and such.
Absolutely. I don't.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
And I would ask you to quit talking about it.
Same.
Okay. Okay. I'm just saying you're going to smell it
instinctually. No.
We know your fertile
Papa just are sticking his head into your armpits. You say it so much. I
Know it's like a warning anyways go on okay. Well all right
So does anyone have an idea about what we should do? I imagine there's more bully wugs around
But that's the only one I can see you can't let him bring that fucking gone
Yeah, that would probably be bad Imagine there's more bully wugs around, but that's the only one I can see. I can't let him bring that fucking gun.
Yeah, that would probably be bad.
It could either summon more bully wugs or start the feast of pylore, which is an annual
jamborean tradition.
That's not going to be that one.
I don't know, I think it's like 50-50.
Well, so he's bored.
So what if we made some noise out here to try and lure him in?
Nice.
And then we can kind of ambush him.
You got your little cush!
Oh my god!
We did really do that actually!
Oh, wait a second!
Beverly, you know so much about these bully wugs.
Why don't you make a bully wug mating call?
If he's in heat, yeah.
Nice.
You have your animal mating call patch.
I have dissected a bully wug and we had some lectures.
So was that true?
It was not making any noise.
It was not making any noises true.
But I have some of my dad's friends
like to go bully wug hunting
and one of them gave me a bully wug call
for one of my birthday.
So I've got some experience with it.
Let's go.
You do not have a bully wug call.
All right.
I'll stand for the nonsense in the quick. I'll stand for the nonsense in the quick.
I'll stand for the green teen traditions.
Oh, so what I do is I check my pockets.
Ah, dang it, I lifted it away.
It is, it's gonna be a deception check.
Okay, so whoever has the best deception.
Plus two.
Just check it out.
What are you guys?
You guys can also help each other.
I can't believe a paladin.
Well, okay, so we have polywags down by the crick.
So if you do a mating call, I do a mating call.
Between the two of us, one of us is gonna get it.
Right, you're gonna say two girls for every guy.
Yeah.
Okay, you're going to do a mating call, huh?
To lure him out.
Okay. Wait, no, I'm doing it. I have to sit in the suction. Okay, the rest of the episode is
Beverly getting fuck so I'm fully well
It's all over the cover all right, yeah, no, I think it's just like it's just a hard one and moonshine in the bushes giving him a thumbs up
You're doing great buddy.
All right, I DC 20 deception check.
Wait, really?
I'm not joking, he's a fucking frog man.
It's not gonna think a little boy making a frog sound
is another frog that wants to fuck him.
You're gonna need to do a goddamn good job to trick him.
Okay, so, wait, wait, let's talk about this
because your Michael gonna fail.
If you fail, at least the noise will probably get,
he probably won't.
I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna like,
but could we also just like break a bunch of twigs?
I think this is a good option.
No, Jay need to make the bully walk horny.
Okay, Jake, I'm gonna be'm gonna be just fucking clap my hands.
I am going to be true to my character and Beverly definitely likes to do things the hard complicated way
because Beverly's a little petty and like straight.
Well, hard one is at least trying to talk you out of it as you do the bully well.
Right guys?
One last thing.
Yeah.
I think we should also build a little trap.
Yeah, okay. Okay. One last thing. I think we should also build a little trap. Yeah, okay.
Okay.
So is there a trap?
How are you, you gotta take some time to build a trap
and you're gonna need to roll stealth rolls
to see if you make noises.
Okay.
Okay, in that case maybe we'll just,
we'll just hide and we'll ambush him when he comes.
Yeah, I think it's y'all.
And the point is just to get him to come over
so we can ambush him.
Exactly, all right, all right.
Okay, but I think that you are telling me
that you believe in my ability to do bully
Well, yeah, alright, and I'm telling you not to do it. I think this is a great idea. I just as hard one as Jake go for it. Yeah
I give you all both thumbs up and then I like contort my fingers into a weird flesh ocarina and
Prepare to bellow out this blue one call.
All right, wait, wait, wait, wait.
All right, I'm gonna give you,
I'm gonna give you, you can roll advantage on this,
but you still need to be to DZ20.
All right, cool, so I love the term flesh ocarina.
It looks so uncomfortable.
I'm like pulling out my, this is like a fucking juu-tu.
Oh my God.
And remember, it doesn't have to be super loud.
Ah.
Well, I mean, for it to be accurate, it would be,
but I understand.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
What a year-old.
Ah.
Ah.
You're all the right.
I gave you advantage.
I gave it advantage for a year-old again.
Oh my god.
Oh, thank god.
Oh, thank god.
Oh, thank god.
I'm gonna be like, fucking 20.
Oh, yeah. Ah. Ah. That's a six fucking 20. Yeah.
That's a six. Okay, and what did you get?
I don't know.
You got total.
Oh, plus six, yeah, 12.
Okay, you see the dude looks up, bangs the gong.
Okay.
You hear the sound of the hammer against the metal loud gong.
I should have known that the gong was a warning.
Yeah.
Should we scary up in the trees?
Oh, go ahead, should we go ahead?
You see bully wugs start emerging.
Should we scurry up in the trees
and try and get some kind of advantage over them?
Let's get up in the tree.
I don't want up in the tree.
I strap on the Papa harness and go up the tree.
So give me some climb checks to see if you can get
there quick enough.
All these bully wugs run into the forest to find you guys
We add acrobatics or athletics. We have athletics. I got a one you got a one
I got a seven. This is the first time I didn't say watch this and I got a 24
Hard one scurries up
Whoa Beverly face plants in my mind. I got a
You scurry up so
face plants in the mud. I got a 7-10.
You scurry up.
So, I can't leave Beverly.
So, come here.
Everybody give me stealth checks.
Beverly, you give me one with disadvantage
because you're face down in the mud.
I just rolled another one.
13.
OK.
Kayla has forsaken me.
I only got a six.
So, hard one bounds up a tree and tries to hide
between some branches.
What is?
But his legs are just hanging out.
He thinks that just because he has his face covered like a toddler, he you can't see me.
He thinks he's hidden. Munchan mistakes his huge meaty legs for just another bow of the tree
and tries to climb them. His legs are trunks. So Munchan is hiding behind hard ones legs and you can see her face.
Papa doesn't realize that you're in danger and he's just kind of walking around.
I got a deposit Papa out of out of I'm depositing him up in the tree and
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Papa scrambles.
That little thing has probably like one bit more.
Papa scrambles up into the tree as you guys go into the tree.
Papa get into the trees.
Beverly face plants in his scramble as the bully wugs rush into the forest to find you guys
Beverly just tries to cover himself in mud and kind of hide
But that is what I would do. Yeah, you guys see
Seven bully was that's still really bad come out and they find
Beverly first all right. I I gotta send my lock.
Ewok style.
No, they hoist me, point their spears out.
Oh, I got you.
Oh, surrounded by seven more long spears.
While you're on the ground.
Oh, I'm gonna wait this one out,
see how Beverly handles it.
So that's cool.
So you see, they hold their spears to you,
you see, they look kind of freaked out and confused.
A bunch of them are
Mumbling in bullywag real quick being like
And you see one sticks his spear up to your chin, okay, and in broken common says
Are you here for the trampoline
and says, Are you here for the jamboreen?
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
What are you doing out there?
I think I laugh.
I try not to, I cover my mouth instantly, but I do, I do light out a little chuckle.
Hahaha.
I can't really start laughing.
So employed.
The, sorry, the, a bunch of the bully wugs,
two of them grab you, pick you up,
and start walking you back.
Okay.
Shit, so we should be the first.
So wait, where is this?
Yes, if you guys wanna do something right now,
let me know.
I am going to, I think we gotta go.
Do you have spells?
Well, no, I was gonna, I was gonna
send my attic entity.
So you're gonna turn into a symbionic entity? Yeah, so you know it's go time. Let's go. I you have spells? Well, no, I was gonna, I was gonna send by Addic Entity. So you're gonna turn into a
Samba Addic Entity?
Yeah, so you know it's go time.
Let's go.
I don't have to say anything.
Do you think as you're like a
Sailor Moon transformation sequence
that plays when you do that?
Absolutely.
Every time.
Except instead of like, you know, rock music
or something, it's like, it's like bluegrass music.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom.
Oh, oh, washboard.
Make it a tech.
Oh, Lord.
They haven't seen you yet. As they're dragging me away, I asked, are we doing suck races this year? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then go ahead and make an attack roar. Okay. That's gonna be eight to hit.
Eight to hit, that does not hit.
And so you will.
Wait, still Halo is poison.
You Halo is poison.
There's gonna be six hit points
because I am the fungal queen.
Moonshan jumps out of the tree.
She misses big time with the cimitar.
The bully walk moves out of the last second.
They all let out a croak of fear.
Oh, oh.
And then she, she spits her spores at him.
And you see he coughs and he looks very upset by this.
I cast Shalala.
Shalala. Shalala. Shalala. Shalala.
OK.
So my bonus act, so next time I use my Simitar.
Shalala. Shalala.
So you turn your Simitar into a Shalala.
Hard one, if you want to take an attack,
you can do it
And the so hard one who was just about to whisper to the moon shine. Let's wait and see what
Turns she's not there. He's like all right fuck
Jumps out great acts over his head swinging at the other bully walk that's holding bev
That's an eight plus what is this the six? Yeah, so 14 that actually does not hit what 14 doesn't oh?
I know you know what he's holding he's holding Beverly. He would not have his shield up so it will hit him
He's little other fuckers of shields. Yeah, so go ahead and make your attack roll who the fuck sold shields
They're making they have little wooden shields and stuff who is dealing arms to these swamp
Definitely someone my dad knows.
Heathens.
Okay.
That's a 12.
Oh, plus four.
Plus four.
Oh, hard one.
After doing such a bad job,
hiding and looking like a dummy,
does come out of the tree and slash this dude in half.
Hell yes.
Just an extra of a half.
In half, this boy who goes down.
There's something bad about us about cutting people in half and they can both who I go down. There's something bad ass about cutting people in half
You would think that yeah, yeah, you're probably is
Harden going on half or vertical in half. I really would prefer vertical in half
Yeah, I like the vertical
Mercenaries separate somebody ice cream eggs. Yeah ice cream. This is the second time. I've seen this
So everybody roll initiative.
Now we'll go into the actual fight.
Moonshine's looking at nine.
Pop-ups in the tree, by the way.
Safe in the tree.
Touch the way.
I got an eight.
I got 14.
Hard one, you actually go first.
Good.
Which guy are you going for?
There's the one that is pretty hurt that was holding Beverly that moonshine hits
and there are five that have their spears in their shield up.
Cool, I'm gonna turn around and swing for a healthy one.
Let moonshine finish.
Cool.
Finish your guy.
And I just rolled a 19.
That hits.
And then a 13.
Cool.
You fucking chop this dude down.
Good. Let's do the cavity. Just old 13. Cool. You fucking chop this dude down.
Good.
Let's do cavities.
Just old school.
Hey, Merrill.
I say, oh, Aladdin style again.
Could you break me off?
Oh, I'm Mulan style.
As these bully walks die, could you give me like a little sample of what they say?
Because their voices are very funny.
No!
My mother!
Oh, dear.
That sounded bad. Oh, no, this is not good.
Moonshine has nothing but respect for family.
Especially father.
His mother is right next to him.
Oh, no.
March on.
Oh my God, this is a family business.
Oh my God, that's actually family.
This is an army pop shop.
This is an army pop shop.
Bulleywugs rolled so poorly.
You guys should be being punished for your behavior right now.
Fucking making Bullywugg sounds to trick a goddamn Bullywugg.
I think that was a great move.
It was a very good plan.
I've just got to work on being sexy.
I, uh, yeah, we're gonna have to practice.
Okay, uh, I have to grapple, right?
No, they let you go because they've been attacked.
Okay, cool.
One of them's dead, the other one's dead. one so you are you are right next to the bully woke that
moonshine attack yeah and then there are now four behind you because hard one
killed one killed two right killed well he killed two he killed the one that
was holding Beverly and he killed one that was in the group of five all right
great access I'm starting to believe that beard is real Give it a gentle tug
Oh shit, I thought that was a vehicle along. I
Guess I'll just go for the one nearest me
Five so nine that does not so you swing at this dude this guy moves out of the way
He picks up his shield and spear and they are gonna take swings at you guys
So these four guys that are near hard they are gonna take swings at you guys.
So these four guys that are near hard one
are gonna surround him.
Where did that 15-8-3-2?
Oh fuck, I forgot to use my second win.
Yes, please use that.
Okay, so they're gonna attack.
The first guy tries to bite hard one.
Whoa, savage.
Which I guess.
So 13 is not gonna hit you, so the bite, but then he gets to make a spear attack.
Frogs on it with my hand.
You slap his teeth away.
They don't get all the way.
Merri Frogs don't have teeth.
I don't know what to tell you, man.
I'm looking at the fucking monster man.
You only got a damn bite.
So it's just going to go on with who walks to carry.
Guy gags.
16 hits.
Does that hit you?
What's your AC?
16.
OK. That is a seven damage to hard one. Oh. Three guy gags. 16 to hit. Does that hit you? What's your AC? 16.
Okay.
That is a seven damage to hard one.
Oh!
I'm fucking, I'm fucked up.
That puts me in, too.
Okay.
You still have a potion though.
Second guy takes a swing at hard one.
No!
And he misses with his spear.
Now he's gonna go with his bite,
which yes, frogs can bite apparently.
Oh my god. That is a 15 toa-hit. That does not hit you. Cool. So hard on dog just out of the
way. Barely, barely. It's probably just like faints instead of ducks.
Hard one passes out for a second. That saves his life. Yeah, you're sort of drunken master style.
Yeah. Losing so much blood. I just can't stop thinking about a frog with human teeth now,
and it's really tripping it up.
Just like a really nice mile.
Yeah, just third frog.
God, who's your dentist?
This next frog flashes a nice,
two of these smiles.
It goes into bite hard one.
Your gum tears like dang, they don't get that.
It goes to bite you with his fangs, any misses.
They're not fangs, they're just regular unity.
Just human-teeth.
Yeah.
Like, we're definitely like, two bully walks have braces.
They just look like little chick-ling.
I might as well get a Hollywood smile.
And a little leads to floss.
My teeth are garbage, and I do have braces,
so I'm very jealous of these bully walks.
Okay, tries to stab you with a spear,
and he is going to succeed.
Oh, everyone's going down, this changes the strategy.
That's two damage, what are you at?
That'll put me to zero.
Okay, oh shit, one goes down.
Goddamn it.
Do you got any heels on you?
This other one, I got a potion.
I know I use my potion, but he's got one on it.
Runs forward and goes after Beverly.
Okay, and he is going to hit with his bite.
Yes, he does bite with his human teeth, and that's gonna be three damage, okay, and then
he's gonna swing you with his spear.
That is a 20 to hit, and then he hits you for seven damage, ten damage total, cool, cool,
cool, cool, and then the other guy, good numbers, come at me.
The other guy swings at moonshine,
because moonshine just,
that's the brow right.
Hit him.
And he misses with his spear,
and that was gonna go for his bite,
and he misses with his bite.
Back up to a hard one, hard one,
give me a death saving throw.
If you fail three times, you die forever.
13 plus what?
It's not plus anything, you gotta be to 10,
so you gotta 13.
So that's a success.
10 or higher is a success. So you've got one success. Okay. We'll stabilize if you get three successes.
If you get three deaths, you will be dead. So you don't do it right now. So you just do one each round.
Well, it's really tight. And if you roll 18 the second time. So Jake, we'd really miss you if you
died here. I will kill myself. All right. Moonshine's a little peeved because she's in her fungus form right now.
Yeah.
So her hospitality is at the wayside.
And her ovaries are just thrumming.
That she's got her shillaly and she can't use it because she's got to go over and cure
wounds to hard one.
Okay.
Nice guy.
You do have the one guy right in front of you who's going to get an opportunity attack on
you if you go over to hard one.
He's going to get an opportunity attack. He's right on top of you.'s gonna get an opportunity attack on you if you go over to hard one. He's gonna get an opportunity attack.
He's right on top of you.
Mm.
Don't worry about me.
Okay, I'm gonna leave you for now.
In that case, I just, I just shill alien this bitch.
Okay, swing your shill alien at his head.
14.
That does not hit.
What?
Swing your shill alien up.
He blocks with his shields.
They got shields. It's got damn magical. Doueli up. He blocks with a shield. But it's got the magical.
Do you support him?
Do you support him?
And then I just support him.
You're sporing for six?
I do want my little...
You should spore into his big toothy mouth.
I said fight this bitch.
He fights down in a mushroom that grows out of his head
and his head explodes. He's dead nice
And I a tear comes to my eye the beauty of life and death
From death there
I
Let me tell you my name before I die
family people. Let me tell you my name before I die. Bev, you're up. Okay, I will run towards the bully
walk closest to hard one. Okay, to defend. I want to try something.
Okay, you can give me that classic bribe Murphy, yes or no?
Yes, sir. I pull out the snake tooth. I took earlier. Okay.
And I want to try and stab one of the bully walks with it.
Cool. See if it's gonna poison him.
Go for it.
I mean, you are pretty powerful,
probably more powerful than a poisonous snake tooth,
but I like this.
I like this.
I feel like maybe this is a retro-
It's creative, I think, maybe they'll see me do this
and be like, oh, he's killed one of those big snakes.
He's not to be fortunate.
You should hide it in your finger
so they think that you just have a poisonous touch.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, I do that.
Okay.
The Man of Legend.
15.
Oh.
Okay, that does hit.
Yeah.
Go ahead and roll me a D4.
Okay.
For dagger damage.
It's a two, seven total.
Seven total and then, yeah, sure.
This one time you can roll a D6 for Poison damage,
but that'll be all his.
Yeah, it's a pass.
I don't know how you bet how venom works.
It just stays on their teeth.
Don't add it.
It's stored in little cavities.
I know this because I have the merit, bad.
All right.
All right.
I will do two.
I have to power you.
So what is the total damage you've done?
Okay, shit.
You've done nine.
Yeah, okay, nine damage.
Cool.
Do you stab this dude for nine damage?
Open Palm Slam.
Yeah.
He, I think I just like slap him.
Yeah.
I think that's what I would do.
He lets out a pained croak.
No, it's my birthday.
I'm gonna do a constitution saving.
Good Lord.
I really don't think we should have been doing this.
But the T-Share, I like to whip up a nice stew for someone who's at the birthday.
Okay, he does not get poisoned, but you did some poison damage.
Okay, okay. So that takes us to the Boolewugs.
So there's three that are gonna swing on Beverly,
because right there and then the other one's gonna go on Moonshan.
Is he gonna turn around?
Bite first, misses, spearar misses, second guy.
Spear misses.
Yeah, you have an T.O.C.
I just rolled a small,
I just rolled a two, a four, a two, and a three.
I am as the wager.
But also, Beverly's just doing a river dance,
getting out of the way.
Oh, God, it's beautiful.
I've taken Cattillion.
Okay.
This last guy is going to take a swing at Beverly, and he's going to hit.
I'm so sorry.
No!
Please put the spear.
Ooh, it's only two damage.
Oh, great.
So you take two damage, but he's still going to try to bite you.
Yeah.
Cool.
So he goes to bite you, and you catch his teeth.
His big human teeth on your shield.
Nice. Oh, the idea of teeth on your shield. Nice. Oh, yeah,
do you have teeth on the shield? Yes. Do any of the teeth stay in the shield? Do any of
the Beverly does have a teeth collection? I'm starting a collection. Yeah. He's walking
the walking around the world with you guys and your your mushroom and your teeth. Big
Bullywag front tooth on your shield. You have half a tooth.
I'm starting a craft bully-wug teeth are now canon.
You should keep it in your shield though.
So everyone knows that you've faddled not to do is I'm going to like,
I'm going to paste all of the teeth on top of my shield.
It's a little craft project.
Why don't you do that after you haven't died?
Oh yeah, I'm just letting you know.
Cool.
So this other guy is gonna attack Moonshine.
I said bring it on.
And hits.
Try and bite me bitch.
For two, if you rolled a one on his damage,
I'm just gonna try to bite you.
Oh, he crits.
Oh no.
First crit.
Good, I'll mark him, bitch.
What the fuck, Murr?
You think I have an ever slipped-out sign?
Let the skaters bite me.
I'm afraid to get bit
All right, he gives you a big chumpy bully-wug bite from five damage yikes
Nothing hard one. Ro me a death saving throw bud. Oh boy again. Use the 18 from last time you cannot
That was a three. Oh, God. I saw I was a single digit knowing you. I was like, dear Lord, hard one starts here. Malore hard one starts gurgling on blood.
Okay.
Things are looking pretty dire over there.
Whoo.
That is good.
This isn't good.
Okay, so if I want to run over to a hard one,
they're going to get attacks of opportunity.
One guy will.
All right, I got to take it.
Yeah, so he's going to take an attack on you. And he misses. I got to take it. Yeah, so he's gonna take an attack on you and he misses oh
Thank you, Melora. Okay, and then I'm in a cure wounds. I'm gonna cure wounds hard one cool nice
So hard one that's gonna when you're when you're in the symbionic form
Do you just kind of like feed him a mushroom?
Yeah, I do like good spores.
I have bad spores that I do with the bad guys.
Good spores.
Push it past the blood coming out of my mouth.
One of them, they're both green, but one is a slightly
different shade of green.
It's very important that you know which hue is which.
And it is very dark.
Oh, that's going to be 12.
Ooh.
Very nice.
What does that mean?
You pop back up and I have 12 HP.
And then you know the, and then you know the dude that Beverly hit?
Yes.
I...
Kiss of spores.
How do you want to kill him?
Well, I'll say finish him.
That'll be my thing.
Finish him?
Finish him.
I guess I'd like to go over and kiss him on his toothy mouth
and just basically vomit spores into him.
Gross.
Everyone feels like it.
He dies.
Almost vomit.
Does he have any last words?
Can I get it?
My first kiss.
Yes.
Oh, I was thinking the exact same thing.
Yes, we did.
So is that for him.
I was thinking it.
But she is super fucking hot.
I wipe my mouth and I say, you know what?
That's not a bad way to go. that's not a bad way to go.
That's not a bad way to go.
I should be kissing all of them.
Very important question, Murf.
Do the bullie wugs believe in heaven?
Yeah.
Yeah, can I use my action to ask if they believe in heaven?
Yeah.
They say no and stab you there.
Fab, you're up.
OK, all right, shit.
You got three bullie wugs left.
They have not been attacked.
And hard one is stabilized.
Hard one's fine.
All right, also as all of his goddamn abilities,
as a new sanny of mine.
I mean, you're like, I'm, I'm,
I am either cutting people in half into capitating them
or dead.
Past of it.
But truthfully, that's kind of what fighters do.
Surely once you like, you start to use your abilities,
I think you're gonna find that you stay up a little more hard one's got fucking
You got one speed and I don't even know what great weapon fighting is
Oh, that you can re-roll ones and twos on your damage. I'm a moron
Yeah, feel free to do any level not smart
I feel free to do any level of research just any level. Do any of the words on that sheet?
Yeah, maybe people at home can just tweet how to play. Do at J. Do at J. Do at J. Do at J.
Do at J.
Bevy, you got three of these bullies. I'm going to position myself in front of hard one.
Okay. I don't need it. I'm good. You see Beverly is protecting two and a half feet of you.
Yeah. No, my fist clinches, my eye shine with courage and determination. He is Naruto. Yeah.
Yeah, I was gonna say this is so anime. Get your hands off my scout mask. Yeah. That's what I say, but my voice does crack when I say it.
And then I attack the nearest one.
Great, go for it.
Nat 20, baby.
Nice.
Roll two D8.
And then that just had your modifier once.
Just got its own create twice.
That's an eight.
That's a nat eight.
Nice.
A nat eight.
The famous nat eight.
We created with the eight. And a net eight nice a net eight the famous Mattie We credit with eight and a five critical
13 plus what is your attack damage? Yeah, yeah, yeah, plus five. So 18. Don't oh my god
Young Beverly Beverly finish him. I think Beverly is Rockley from Neruda. Yeah, I
Say this is for hard one!
And I do, I do straight up, I do straight up link from Zelda spinning slash.
Nice, beautiful.
Very cool.
And you cut them in half.
I think I probably just like, or what do you do?
What do you do?
I'm, how tall are they?
They're, they're dwarf size.
They're like four half tall. Okay, so yeah, I could cut them in half. If you want to send them my way, I'm, how tall are they? They're, they're dwarf size. They're like four, or half tall.
Okay, so yeah, I could cut them in half.
If you want to send them my way, I can kiss them.
Seems like it's maybe...
Barely also, it gives a kiss to death.
I say, there really good, there's really nothing else.
Regular, regular vomits into his throat.
And when they're, yeah.
When they like slide apart after I cut them in half,
I say thanks, but I already have my dissection badge.
Oh!
That's bad, dude.
That's really good.
Bad.
Good boy.
Good boy.
We both had his head and said, good boy.
Is it weird that I like this?
It's weird that I like this.
It's good.
It's because you're doing it for an honorable reason.
That's right.
We're going to get you your murder patch, but.
Pelora shines upon, that's not a real patch. It will be. That's right. We're gonna get you your murder patch, but. Hell or shine's upon, that's not a real patch.
It will be.
That's one of the forbidden patches.
Hey, I'll whip you up a murder patch.
Oh, thank you.
So these bully wugs are gonna have.
So making up patches for you.
I'm gonna swing down on this little demon boy.
And he misses with his first attack,
and he goes to bite. And he misses with his bite attack and he goes to bite And he misses with his bite. They're so intimidated. Other guys swings on Beverly misses with his bites and
Misses with his spear. Yeah, that is hard. Oh, great. I'm gonna use my second wind
Great. Go ahead and roll a d10. No, this is gonna get that plus your fighter level. This is so good.
Jake, this is basically like you getting back up
and being like, I wasn't passed out.
Yeah.
You weren't fighting at full strength before.
I didn't pass out and went my pants.
I was confident in your pants.
It's mock, it's mock.
It's just messed up in the swamp.
Man the swamp smells like shit.
Ooh, that's an eight. But add anything to it. Plus your anything to it. So ten total so you get 10 HP back great soul for head
That's a bonus action. I think that's who that's 22. I believe that's a bonus action so you can still make an attack now
Is second win like he he takes off his like weighted bands and he's got like a little extra energy
I like to like unbraid my hair. Okay, shake out the main
Shit, yeah, what do I roll? You can make an attack hard one became hot one I like to like unbraid my hair. Okay, shake out the babe. Oh shit.
Yeah.
What do I roll?
You can make an attack.
Hard one became hot one.
Ooh.
That's his old story.
That's right.
That hits.
Great axe.
And go ahead and attack him a ladden style.
Opa, a ladden style.
Hit him for a 16.
Holy shit.
I'm going great axe.
Instead of like top down, I'm going great acts instead of like top top down. I'm going cock the head.
That's fucking one.
Oh my god.
It was yo yo around the world thing.
He feels everything. He's conscious through the whole thing.
He doesn't die until the acts hits his brain stem.
And you can see how much pain he's in as his face contorts.
And he's got any his face contorts and he's got that.
Any last words from him?
Yeah.
No, the guy next to him says,
Jesus Christ, that's my dad!
Ha!
All of us were so-
He's not making any more children any time soon.
Moonshan.
Oh, okay.
How many of these guys are left?
One or just one?
Then I go to the guy who said, that's my dad
and I say, you should be with your father wait no that's hospitable should we like trying question him or something?
It's too late, okay
And
And I am already said her line. I think yeah, I asked that question and as that
Should we question him he's dead
Okay
15 15 to hit that does hit oh
Baby okay, so I get to do lots of exciting damage. Let's question lots of exciting damage to this
Okay, so I get a father of a child plus my a spellcasting modifier, which is five so 10 plus I get to roll an extra
D6 for your symbiotic entity stuff. I would like to question him about heaven. 12, bitch.
12 total?
Yeah.
Whoa.
This dude is dead, finish him.
OK, I'm going to just disembowel him.
I feel like way from playing.
That's good.
That's awesome.
That really is just a lie.
I'm going to take it and just do a nice smooth,
but shallow enough cut that it doesn't cut them in half
But instead just spills before his guts come out. I say Beverly's right. He might have some good
Intel
Inside's far out of the stuff as as the insiders Beverly distant bells him with his show lately
Just shoves it up as ash
Mooshie I'm sorry and then and then Mooshan says, maybe we share that
dissection of ads.
Uh huh.
As he's.
I could get into badges.
I do.
It takes the patch off.
Now, I give it to her.
I give her the patch and say, you've earned it.
And as the frogs in trails are bleeding out,
I do go up and try and question him.
Ha ha ha. Who's your leader?
Where are you keeping the green teens?
It's dead frog, I stare at you.
I'm gonna go through with...
A thousand years of horror in his eyes.
I'm gonna go through his guts to make sure it wasn't an expecting mother.
It was alright, yeah.
I'm gonna be sure of that.
Yeah, there were twins in there. Hey, alright, yeah. I haven't been here a lot. I haven't been here a lot. I haven't been here a lot.
I haven't been here a lot.
I haven't been here a lot.
There were twins in there.
Hey, Bradley.
Cool.
No.
Can I work with the cap, did?
You can't go ahead and keep racking your fire.
No, I think we need to give.
This was, I, everything is inside.
So just so you guys know, so you guys are out of battle now.
You do hear commotion the whole thing.
Oh, we got a hide.
The whole camp knows that people are here.
The guy went off.
So we do not have time to do a proper burial.
So I Pick some mug on top of them. Yeah, let's get that's that's a quick burial
Yeah, everyone gets a mug as you run away and hide a very honorable tradition. Yeah
So you guys are gonna run and how far away are you guys gonna go?
I think that we should run towards it and hide like at like the mouth of
Oh, yeah, when you when you are guarding the air of fire,
you get night blind,
because you're looking at the light from the fire.
Oh yeah, and when you look out into the woods,
you can't really eat this.
Okay, yeah.
All right, I won't give them advantage on their checks then.
That's a good fact.
Yeah, so I think that we've got-
Re-gaming with Rose books people.
We're a night blindness.
Yeah, I think that we should try to run towards it, but like hide at like the mouth of
where they'd be running out.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's really smart.
The run right path.
Okay, so you're going near the, so you're going near the tent, so everybody go ahead
and give me a stealth roll.
We all hold newspapers up to our face.
You guys do this.
Oh, I got a one.
Okay.
But I have a mask of wild wild okay, then that's advantage
Okay, so then we're all again
Is this is a stealth check? Yes, I got a two. I got a shit. What you get a two?
I had a 10 I got a nine oh
God, so we're not that still
Guys hey, I'm still sent by out again to me. I still got my shit going. But it's been back to 22.
Let me see how long I've been delayed.
Let me just give a quick recap of the chain of events that just happened.
Beverly threw his voice to try to sound like a female bully wug in
feets. Oh, I sounded like a male. A lot of female. That wasn't the problem.
Bullywug heard this. He was right next to a gong.
I really think.
Because my boys are so deep.
Into the gong.
Seven Bullywugs go out into the forest.
You guys manage to kill them after a hard one is knocked out.
You do not run off.
Wait for anything to die down.
But rather approach the camp, make a ton of noise.
As you see, seven more more bully wugs near the fire
Clock you guys including a bully one king with a
Make shift crown and a little robe
You see he has a a wooden crown. That's like shittily made with jewels like pasted on
Well, I'm gonna be up the bully wall wall girl and that is where we will end our session
Would you guys definitely about to die?
Yeah, we might need a retreat. Thanks for listening
Thanks everyone for listening. This is the last episode ever
Sweet or ever listen next week to see how our heroes get out of this one
Spoiler they don't
Howard heroes get out of this one. Spoiler they don't.
But yeah, guys, follow us on Twitter at J. Kerwitz at Call the at
Yachtford at CH Murf is me.
Be sure to rate the podcast.
They guys should make a moonshine Twitter at moonshine.
Absolutely.
Yeah, you got some good fan art.
A little role playing on the side.
Yeah, guys, thanks so much for the fan art.
It's been amazing.
Oh my god.
Check out the.
I love it. Yeah, there's a subreddit. Yes art. It's been amazing. Oh my God. Check out the. I love it.
Yeah, there's a subreddit.
Yes, our not another D&D podcast.
That's D&D, the letter N.
Oh, and if you want to tweet about the show,
we have via text chain decided it's hashtag nat pod.
Nat pod, nat pod, with 2Ds.
With 2Ds.
N-A-D-D-D D's NADD yeah, POD
All my little net holes out there get ready to start
I was taking the test. I took two to the chest
Huh, mad pod POD did
Youth of the nation try to keep up everyone
Oh, no, oh no, I can't do the podcast anymore. First BOD reference, but not the last.
We are, we are, you know the nation, we are.
Thanks for listening everybody.
We're going to do our shout outs now for our new reviews.
We couldn't do them together because we
record the episodes in blocks so we wouldn't be able to keep up.
But anyway, Otter remix champ asked for a shoutout from the DM himself.
I am the DM himself.
So shoutout Otter Remix Champ.
Couple people asked for shoutouts from Scoutmaster Denny, so here he is.
Uh, Diure Rabbit and A Parkman 08.
I would like to cordially invite you to next year's Jamboreen.
Uh, because this year's Jamboreen is super canceled.
Remember that?
Please don't come!
The green teens are gone!
Alright guys, let's catch up with Hard One, Beverly, and Moon Shine.
They'll do their shoutouts, then I will do a big lightning round at the end with everybody
who didn't specify.
Thanks again.
Hard One Surefoot would like to offer a nice, hardy, forearm handshake too, etc.
Rob. hardy forearm handshake too, etc. Rob, putter there brother, MJD 1020, and HayGSYEB, Adrian,
how the heck are ya? K Sutton 127, Swag Baller 2K16, what happened to the last two years Swag
Baller? Have you been a Swag Baller or not. Cameron W. Pretty just okay guy.
See guy 24 and L-boy, 85.
A letter to all my fellow green teens
in the upper Galator on region,
troop designation, golden popular.
Dear Shockwave 527, Cier Bansky, S-rigly, Mr. Gender,
forced to do this, Darren, still forest,
Steven number five, Eka do this, Darren, still forest, Steven number 5,
Ekasnupi, KinderBob, heck of a guy of 7,000 and good day mates.
As you might have heard, the green teen jamborene is in peril, but worry not,
I, Beverly Togold, along with my two new scout masters,
last best friends, have agreed to save the day.
In the meantime, I need you all to make sure our true remains a shining example
of what it is to be a green teen.
Shockwave 527, practice your origami skills and you'll learn that 4th leaf patch in no
time.
And Mr. Gender, no matter what anyone says, here a very good boy.
In Pellor's name and everlasting mercy, I remain Beverly Togold the 5th.
Goodbye!
Hey y'all, Moon Shine here.
Just wanted to extend the weddest, grimmiest, crit kiss to a few of my fellow mud buds.
Lord Yorjid, queen of the bears, and heir to the throne of Ogle Thorpea, you sure do make
a mean, buttered and battered crawltail.
Love my wife who JHS, the Islas Rogue, Tamer and Fortim, and always pays debts.
Y'all got house fatality for days.
Never did I see a bed got turned down so nice.
Sadoo Joe O3, come on by if you ever get that goiter fixed.
In fact here, couple of young and mushrooms
heal that right up for you.
B. Chillsam Connolly, Thurman RN, AJ-2196,
and Paw Paws Lil Mama,
y'all are just about as sweet and tasty as the first sludge of spring.
And Don L-136, Jake and Amir and Grant, O-C-M-244,
Bohara-45, and Rise Up Nation,
the whole mess you are as welcome as a cricket in a slug race.
Pop-Pos, get it!
Don't be known on my overalls.
Oh, I see. Pop--up would also like to say hello
to y'all five. Well, that's bad off now. Moonshot out.
Murph back for the lightning round baby. Let's do this. Shout out to a dude 93, Master Catan,
Poker Pokes you, K-Cal 5, Sox fan 423, Ryan KT, Sinai So-Win, Papaya Man 2247, Red Trush, Kill Bill 143, Noah
Jake, Thawingin Norwall, Maybree, DeBid, Patriot Joker, The Clement, Desjardes, Actual
Merman, Spicy Miao, Guy Incognitos, Simon 914, Ramo 411, Girl Daisy, Choffmat, Black Synobia, Orphan face, Chicken Parmesan, Alec,
Kosi, Ninja, 4LF3, Not Jarnit, Scoot, Scoot, McGavin, Jordan Schmool, Ninja Schwann,
Ivan Jaganov, B-Can, 777, Shadow Striker 18, Gevertigo, Kale Football 56, Henkat 15, Maddy Cakes 124, Soft
Chicken Boy, Jive G, Cookie Pants 22, Addy Exo, Bionk C, Ninja Key Blader, Lieutenant Lunchables,
Debaker, Debaker 8633, Dragon Master 123, KaleLP, Kart Ross, Ruth Alfredo Saas,
number one Gex Fan,
Noss Red Nia Tech, Kiro Svetta,
ASDDHK, Blue Furba Magoo,
Steve Linnon Camp, ripped off,
Evan Lodge, Greg and San Jose, Victor Victoria,
CMF Brock, Win2, and Weema 12.
Thank you guys again for giving us reviews.
If you guys want shout outs, leave us reviews,
and specify which character you want it from,
because let's face it, this lightning round
is not sustainable.
Thanks again, guys.
That was a hit gun podcast.
Thank you.