Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 35: The Princess and the Bastard (The Frostwind Chapter)

Episode Date: October 11, 2018

The Band of Boobs infiltrate the royal wedding welcome party! Beverly cuts a rug with some grandmas, Moonshine acquires yet another fiance, and Hardwon confronts his past. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Monster Beats" by Frankum at Freesound.org."Love, Techno House, and Peace" by Frankum at Freesound.org."Techno Pop" by Frankum at Freesound.org."Shock at the Dock" by Emily Axford."Invisible, But Not Invincible" by Emily Axford. "At the Last Minute, a First" by Emily Axford."The Twinkling Lights of Galaderon" by Emily Axford."Into the Flame" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford"Balnor the Brave" by Emily Axford."Sunday Acid Jam" by Georgeke at Freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwetz. Hard one, sure foot. Emily Axford. Moon Shines Ab in fiancee of moron. Ha ha ha. And Carl Gwaltan. Beverly Toggle, the fifth, the fanciest lad and the cold iron keep.

Ooh. So yeah, so you guys are in sort of an interesting predicament. You guys are on your way to a very fancy party, specifically to talk to Gemma maybe. Someone's gonna talk to her, but your boy is a wolf. But let's do a little recap. So last week you guys left the Glateron glades and headed it back to the Crick to pick up your airship. There you found the Crick Elves packing up to head west to Gladehome, the city of the High Elves. Mimaw had decided that the east side of Bohemia was too dangerous,

with all the recent attacks from Glateron. You guys told Mimaw about Ulfgar being imprisoned in the gem, and she told y'all about the Dorven King's hammers that could potentially break the spell. You said you're advised to Mimaw an old cob, and the rest of the creekick Elves is they headed west then you guys headed north to Frostwind, the Dorven city and the frigid north on a quest to free off guard

and maybe possibly break up Gemma Bronzebeard's wedding to the Pale Prince. Once you... Right now, Jake is just like play with the tears and his distress jeans. You are like in full, swipe-like. The role, the role play is so deep that Jake feels this. Like, you hate the pale dwarf.

There's no line between me and hard one, except for that his legs are bigger than his face. So once you guys made it to Frostwind, you met some very strange, unfriendly Frost Dwarves who did throw around, I love you a lot though, just a strange people, and they kicked you out of many establishments for being quasi-rude. Friendly in their own way. Yes, you learned that the wedding was in seven days and that a powerful family called

The Vin Rules was hosting a welcome party for the guests. You bought some fancy clothes and moonshine Polymorphed hard one into a wolf since he would be recognized by the bronze beards. Oh! So the three of you, along with Balnor, began heading towards keep Venerole, and that's where we are now.

Team Goodplan, roll out. Woo! Oh, before we depart, can we add a quick footnote that we did send Kaka on edition? To, we sent him as on a mission to Glade Home to say we've arrived, we're here. This is essentially sending our friend a text to be like, I'm at the bar, he's about to meet me here.

Yeah, okay. Like, I'll text you if he's safe. That's right, we still have a bird. So you guys make your way through the city Yeah, okay, like I'll text you if he's safe. That's right. We still have a bird So you guys make your way through the city and you're pretty easily able to find to keep Vincerel because you see the houses keep getting fancier and fancier the more north that you go I got a team's keep keeping keep keep keep You guys see a lot of fancily dressed dwarves are heading towards this one keep, which you can kind of deduce to be keep mineral.

Are there any other wolves on fancy leashes? There are not other wolves. Okay. You see keep mineral looks very different than the rest of the architecture here. The rest of it is very utilitarian. Even the cold iron keep, this big castle that you guys can kind of see to the north of where is very utilitarian. Even the cold iron keep. This big castle that you guys can kind of see to the north of where you are right now,

just kind of looks like a very big cathedral. It's still pretty straightforward, but keep Venerable is strange and beautiful. There's a main archway, and the first level looks kind of like a normal castle. But jetting out for a minute are about a dozen towers that all wrap around each other. They have pointed like cone roofs that are adorned with geodes and gems that twinkle in the night sky like stars.

Each of the towers has many windows and has a different light coming from the inside. It looks like there are different colored lanterns in every tower. So it looks like a big geodes soft serve. Sort of. Yum it looks like a big geod soft serve. Sort of. Yum. I like it. So what you guys get to the gates of this keep, and you see a bunch of other fancily dressed dwarves

kind of waiting to get in, and you see that they're all checking in with a steward. You see that the staff at Keep Venerable here, all wear blue shirts with purple buttons. That's their like house colors, is purple and blue. Are the staff like taking anything from them? Is there like a letter or like a seal

or something being given? They are not taking a letter or a seal. They are just checking names off. You see the kind of like recognize a lot of the people. So we might be able to just say, yeah, that we met Morin. Morin, yeah. Morin, what's his last name?

Venerable. Morin, Morin, Venerable. Morin, Venerable, yeah. I guess maybe we should just go up and see if they give us a problem for the wolf and then. Yeah. Should we say that the wolf is my werewolf bodyguard? We should not say that because they're

going to be less inclined to let a werewolf in. Uh We should not say that because they're gonna be less inclined to let a werewolf in. Uh-huh, right, most likely. But should we say, I like your angle on the emotional support animal. Yeah, it's like way too silly. I think Murphy's not gonna let us get away with that shit at all.

How are we gonna get a wolf inside? Most of the support animals seems not like that silly. That's how animals get on planes now. You think so? It's the only way. Okay, then that's what That's how animals get on planes now. You think so? I think it's the only way. Okay, then that's what we'll do. Okay, all right. We line up.

She's a very unstable woman. Ha ha ha ha. So you guys line up and you approach this old pale dwarf steward who goes, you're not the bring your dog in here. Oh, sir. This is actually, it actually is a dog. This is my emotional support animal. I lost my husband in the giant wars and I.

I hate the giants. I do as well. And this. Like what he says, giants. He hit the dog, hit giants. My dog hates giants. Yeah. You should see every year on the anniversary of the death,

this dog waits by the grave. It's very sad This tragic. I love this dog. I like his hand. Thank you for linking me He likes he also he looks the dog I like this fur of this dog Dog taste good. Yeah, what is what is your name? We are actually guests of moron What is your name? We are actually guests of Morin. Morin.

Morin, Venerable of Venerable's Generals. I'm familiar with Morin. He's my cousin. Wow, a lot of cousins. Yeah, a lot of cousins. I wish it's him. Thank you. What is your name, though, because he would put you on the list?

I don't know if he put us on the list. I'm not. No, he did not put you on the list. Did he put his? Just give me your name. Look, I'm going to say this. I don't want you to spread. Are you related to him or are you related to his wife? Babelud. I am related to him.

Okay, I'm just gonna say something really delicate. Okay. He proposed to me. I do not care. He proposed to you to marry you. Yes. Are you married? No, we're considering it. I do not. I do not. What is your name? I need to look at it. There are

a lot of people in line. A moonshine. Your name is moonshine. A moonshine what? Maybe moonshine mineral I'm wiggle my empty finger Go ahead and give a persuasion check Come on, baby. Probably be on the list. Oh My lord I mean a nat 20 you just rolled a nat 20 Your flirt you're like flirting with him a little bit. You see his pale cheeks blush Yes, you're very forward and it makes me a little comfortable that you are engaged to my cousin But that is a deep neckline you are a fine looking woman Yeah, I guess honestly as I'm a name was moonshine but tonight call me Blake. Yeah Yeah, more than 70% to a poly thing if you're interested. Tussin or not.

Very interesting. More than the, I love my cousin more. He's a fine looking man. You, no, Mr. Moonshine, I'm going to get in a lot of trouble if they find out that I let in someone who's not on the list here. I tell you what, usually when I'm on the dance floor, I draw a lot of attention, but tonight,

I'm a rain in in just for you. Will you dance with me tonight? What's your name? Yeah, the answer is yes, but I want to say your name at the end of it. You want to say I do, and then your name. My name is Alexi. You're gonna say I do an ignore name. My name is Alexi.

Yes Alexi, I will Alexi. Okay, I've never danced with a girl before. Oh well, I'm looking forward to teaching you. Very good you teach me the dance. You know what? Just come on and keep it quiet, keep your dog away, you're gonna get me in trouble. Okay, no I'm not. I'll not only the good kind of trouble Lexi Please dance with me a very pretty woman

It's just make sure he's not married. I honestly hate these little men Moonshine you you know you can't marry this whole town, right? I just, this is the most successful I've ever been with Floording. And I feel like- We're just thinking it wasn't a Suck You Bus. Yeah. It's true, I guess you got it. I feel like I got to use a tar advantage.

Fair enough. All right, we go in. You guys enter and you're escorted by other stewards and you kind of follow the other guests into the main ballroom. There are tables for dining that circle around the outside and a dance floor in the middle. The tables and the dance floor are on raised platforms and servants travel below through little trenches

that are designed to look like door-in-mind cart tracks. Cute. And in lieu of platters, they wheel around these little mock mindcarts stacked with delicious looking trays of food and kegs of wine and ale. There are lanterns floating above with blue flames giving the dining area a light blue glow. Over the dance floor the lanterns are constantly changing colors and fancy dwarves dance to the beat of drums. You see on a stage to the side is a band with two drummers

playing intricate dance beats accompanied by a guy playing this weird metal instrument. It's a series of twisted bars that he pinks with a hammer creating a warbling sound. That sounds like a theraman. There are two tables near the stage at the front of the room. One is empty and one appears to be various important members of like the Vincerel family. They've got the blue suits with like purple buttons and stuff that who are

like rubbing elbows with guests and stuff. Do we see Moron? You do not see Moron yet. Honestly, I'd kind of like to avoid him. Okay, so hard one. Who do you know in the Bronzebeard family? Like is there anyone that we could potentially have as an ally and reveal who we truly are to? And also stop peeing on that. I am looking your dead. I was chasing my tail,

lifting my penis, peeing, stepping into a woman's skirt. I'm pretty dumb now, right? I was dumb before. Yeah. I'm friends with, or right? I was dumb before. Yeah. I'm friends with, or Gemma's older sister, always had a soft spot for me.

I don't know if she should know that I'm here, but if you say that you know me, that might be the way in. So what are we even trying to do here? I say we just gonna mingle a little bit first. Yeah, we wanted to find out what they think about the y'all, right? Yeah, well, my thinking is maybe the king is not opposed to helping us.

So maybe we should try and work our way up, kind of rub some elbows, see what their general opinion on Galator on Enthiola is, and maybe we can get them on our side. If they find out we have Wolfgarde, then maybe they'll be willing to help us. I doubt it, but it's worth a shot. I eat scraps of food from the floor. Yeah, so you kind of gather from being here that this is a very rich family that is kind of trying to shoehorn themselves into the wedding process,

like the king is not here. And so that's good though for us, I think. Yeah, so but these are very important people. You see, a lot of people are dancing and stuff. You guys are certainly able to find your own kind of private table with just you guys though. Who's dancing? Lots of, what age group of people? You all are a bunch of cool ants. Both. It's like there's like young dwarves like grinding up on each other,

but like dance in real weird. There's like glow stick guy out there by himself. There's like old grandmas and grandpas.. There's like old grandma's and grandpa's like over to the the cool Anson grandpa's and I dance for them Okay, I put on a little show so Beverly Goes out to the dance floor and starts dancing you guys are like some of the few Non-adorfs are here, but there are some people that were like bronze beard guests and you guys even recognize At this party are a couple of humans that were in the battle

for Galatoron fighting for the White Knights. So you can kinda deduce that some of the White Knights went to Iron Deep. The White Knights were bad though. No, White Knights were good. White Knights were good. Yeah. The Chosen.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Do we wanna try and talk to the White Knight people? I'm dancing. Yes, so Beverly goes out. Talk want to try and talk to the white night people? I'm dancing Yeah, so Beverly goes out talk to me while I'm on the dance I'm cutting a rug near the ground Beverly starts cutting a rug near the grandma's and grandpa's Oh the sick little dwarf boy very good I love it everyone here so nice around you. Love it here. Do you dance for me? Yeah, I grab one of the

Well-fear more connected lookingmas, and I do like, oh, let's dance together. Beautiful. Give me a, go ahead and give me a performance check with advantage. Okay. It got six and a five. We don't get a net 20 every time. So that's going to be a 10, I guess. A 10? Okay.

You just dance answer this grandma. Uh-huh. Oh, I like dancing with the young man, very handsome young man. You have girlfriend young man. Ah, I'm spoken for. I said you up for my with my granddaughter. Oh, okay.

Yes, maybe just this. You, you get married to my granddaughter, okay? She loves you. Wow. I love you. I love you in this culture. Do you, do you want to be my grandson?

Okay, I'm very good to my granddaughter You guys are just like dancing to the speed and never really kind of just like fits right in just Doing a little dance you guys don't see it at home, but I'm doing a little techno dance right now Yeah, we're all swaying. I'm waiting for a slow song. So you guys, you know, this whole process of like you guys getting in and all of that and getting into the dance floor and starting dancing and everything, I'm going to say you guys are about like 35 minutes into this all more situation. Right. Okay. So what do we want to do with you as a wolf or how are we going to? Yeah. Is um, do I do no, if any of the bronze beards

are there yet? There's just a lot of cousins. It's like a lot of bronze beard cousins and stuff. It's like the rowdy boys who wanna go out and like drink on the wedding weekend and like meet people. Like Wilhelm bronze beard, who's Jemma's dad. You see like some of his like nieces and nephews are there. Maybe I'll go over to a niece or nephew and say, y'all know if Jemma's dad. You see like some of his like, nieces and nephews are there. Maybe I'll go over to a niece or nephew and say,

y'all know if Jemma's coming? Or what's your sister's name? It's Jena and Jemma. Okay, I'm gonna say, y'all know if Jena's coming? Are you going up to the dance floor? Are you like going a couple at like a- I just wanna look for some of the rowdy cousins.

Okay, one of the rowdy boys, yeah. Oh! Ah! Okay, yeah. Oh, the rowdy boys would love to get a dog drunk. Yeah. You find a table of three bronze beard dwarves. These iron deep dwarves with these red beards and long red hair.

You find a table with two men and one woman and they seem like they're a little bit drunk. And they go, how you doing, Miss? What do you do with the crick-of-doin' out here? I mean, this is insane. I mean, you're a bit of a party like this. I know, I'm here a bit of a party like this. I mean, it feels a little bit appropriative, you know, but I don't know, maybe it's not.

No, we don't judge. Everything's good here. I like this place. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah. You're being put. Okay, so you feel a little, hmm?

All right, let's not talk about it. Wing, wing, wing, wing. I'm just, I'm wondering if Jaina's coming. Jaina, yeah, Jaina, Jaina, Jaina and Jemmer are coming by, yeah. Tonight, okay. That's what I heard. Yeah, because I'm in town, because I'm friends with, well,

Jaina's friend from the Dwarf and Edge. Oh, heard. Yeah, because I'm in town, because I'm friends with, well, Janice, friend from the door for an edge. Oh, okay. Yeah. Who do you know from the door for an edge? Sam. Sam? Sam? Ha, ha, ha.

All right, go ahead and just roll a raw luck check. Just roll. I got a 10. A 10? That means. They know a Sam. I was gonna say one through a five. There's no Sam at the door.

Oh shit. Sam, yeah, he's kind of a weird guy, but. Yeah, I don't mind him. I don't feel, you know. Yeah, I know. It's like lukewarm water. You kind of want it hot or cold. Otherwise, it's not served much of a purpose.

Hey, man, sister, they all laugh. Fucking Sam, man. I'm really surprised that the whole, you know, pale alliances happening. Yeah, it comes down. Let's actually talk. I lay at their feet so I can hear you. Yeah, because I'm going to need you to feed me some questions. Yeah, sorry, drop the ball on Sam.

So, okay, it worked out. And he goes, so you're a Crick-O, right? Yeah. I could kind of tell, though, you're usually Crick-O's, I don't want to judge, but they're usually a little bit more unshoured. Oh yeah, I'm not shoured. Oh.

Yeah, if I see shours, that's just. You were like shimmering. I thought it was just, you know, lotions and such, but it's sweat. No, it's lotions and sweat. Okay. Oil. Hey, you know what, I'm into it.

Bacon grease, I do a lot of cooking, and I get grease all over myself. I'll tell you what, if you flip a fish, grease is getting everywhere. Okay. Cool. Like she's been rolling in the snow a lot too. Oh, that's true. Maybe, maybe all the snow.

I did do a snow angel or a new. Yeah, I'm not used to it. It's kind of like a shower. It's cold as like a shower. It's cold as hell out here. Yeah. Yeah, look, Galatoron was our main ally. And once they got taken over by the chosen, Iron Deep started preparing for war.

We haven't historically had the best relationship with the pale dwarves, but they have a hell of an army and we kind of got to start. So this is to steal yourself against the eventual rival of the allah and the pale dwarves don't take kindly to the allah either because they do not like the rest. I could kiss you. I mean, please do.

No, I'm engaged with too many people. And he goes, the Ella is not going to pay the tax anymore to the pale dwarfs. She says that she's a god and she should, they should pledge fealty to her. And these, these folks are quite religious. They really like their rules and they really like Moridan. And they do not take kindly to somebody saying that they're God. Aside from the all, how do they feel about the heroes? That's a good question. I think that all dwarves generally like Ulfgar. Yeah, he's badass. Yeah, he's super badass.

Freaking the other guy in the girl like just start quietly be like fucking rolls He's fucking cool Moonshan do shots for off-guard. Let's do around a shot for off-guard. You want to do around it? I'll do around a shot I'm a dog's car. One two Well, it's dog rules he drinks I'm gonna get your dog drunk Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, more? Sure, yeah, you're on the dance floor with this old woman. Grinding. You're going to marry my granddaughter. Yeah, I can't wait to meet her. Hey, I'm just wondering, I'm just trying

to get to know people in town. I'm from Hill home. I'm the son of Rubinal Tuesday, you know, the Ruby Tuesday magnet. I'm familiar with it. And with the franchise, he sent me up here. He sent me up here to attend the wedding because we're thinking about opening a chain up here. And I just want to meet some of the nobles and the higher ups to try and like, you know get that through with the zoning and what not

Do you know who I might need to talk to about that? Go ahead and roll a Deception check, okay That's an 11 and 11 okay, so you're not like totally given away That's an 11. Okay, so you're not like totally given away, but the scrim just kind of goes, I am Venerable, I'm small business owner, we do not need, we have the stores are Venerable stores, these are good stores, we do not need, you do not marry my granddaughter, I do not like you anymore, you go, I hate you, but I love you too.

I love you, I hate you. I love you, I hate you, do not marry my granddaughter, you are not my son anymore, I hate you, but I love you too. I love you, I hate you. I love you, I hate you. Do not marry my granddaughter. You're not my son anymore. And she's just like, well, okay. All right, so hard ones about to turn into hard one again. I'll say we're about 45 minutes in. Why don't we have him hide either in the kitchen

or somewhere out of the public view and then we can try and get Jaina over to him. Oh, this is just like I'm back at Iron Deity Jamma. Ha ha ha. Hide me from the public. I'm not good enough for Jamma. Wow, this is a different narrative you've given us before.

Sorry, I'm a little drunk. You see Bounder's out there grinding with acrama. Oh, that'd be so nice to marry Boundor off. You married me old man. You and I. I guess I think we can trust these peltorvs, but I don't want to give them this like tool for world dominance either. Well, we're not going to give them off-guard.

We're just going to say free off-guard. We know where off-guard is. Because they work his theol free off-guard. We know where off-guard is. They were pissed the all-off. Right. So I think that what we need is, I think we need counsel with the king. Yeah. Suddenly you see Gemma Bronzebeard enters the room.

This is like, can't hardly wait. The room slows. You see Gemma Bronzebeard enters, flanked by another woman and a steward. She looks ravishing. She's wearing a red dress that shows off all her dwarven curves. She's got flowing red hair and a finely braided beard. Her neck and ears glisten with diamonds and her blue eyes look particularly piercing under the blue lights. And hard one, you recognize one of the women with her is her sister, Jaina Bronzebeard. Jaina's got red hair and freckles, but no beard. She's got a very strong build. She's like a dwarven brand of tarth.

She wears a long cloak over a nice suit and dresses more masculine than her sister. And you see she even has a dwarven war hammer at her side. And the steward with her is a very old man with a hunchback wearing a bronze robe, the color of House Bronzebeard. And you see they all approach the table on the stage with all of the venereal elite and begin kind of exchanging pleasantries. And they're talking up there for a bit, just doing their

introductions and stuff. Bev, you're on the dance floor, right? Yeah, go ahead and give me a perception check. I got a one, but I get to reroll. Oh, dope. 16. Sweet, so Bev, you hear a couple people like kind of bitterly whisper,

summer d'Orf, come the Mary and the Pilgrims. Go, they instinct, they're bitter than us. Mary and him off to a summer d'Orf. Six, like, right? They're sitting, get out of the fury. You're not my grandson. They instinct it better than us marrying him off to a summer dwarf Right Get out of here. You're not my grandson But I love you you're not my grandson. I love you too After a little bit you see Jaina and Gemma Go to their own table with their steward and you see that Gemma looks kind of bored

You see that there are also like several empty seats up there. Looks like maybe the pale prince was supposed to come and he's not there. Hard one, what do you think if we just go over by Gemma and you just become hard one in her sight? Like do you think she's going to be the least likely to be mad at you, right? Why don't we go over and you guys can meet her? Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, she doesn't need to know. Let's dip a toe in. Let's take her temperature on hard one, the whole hard one situation. What if we have him go under the table and wait there and then transform and then all of a sudden appear from under the table? Do you want to do like a stealth check

to move through the trenches as a wolf? I feel like you guys need to get in with Gemma. I think you need to avoid being seen transforming. That's what I'm just trying to make it so that you can see the trend. When it's a little closer, I can just crawl onto a table and do it. Okay. Cool. Alright, so I guess I can just go back and do it. I think I can just go back and do it. I think I can just go back and do it.

I think I can just go back and do it. I think I can just go back and do it. I think I can just go back and do it. I think I can just go back and do it. I think I can just go be doing scene transforming. Is the main thing? Yeah, that's what I'm just trying to make it so that you can see. When it's a little closer, I can just crawl onto it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. So I guess we'll just go over. Yeah, I kind of side a lot as well.

Do you want to say any, so you're kind of at this table with these strong beats? Yeah, so I think I'm, oh, I just saw Jaina come in. Oh, yeah. I feel a little intimidated. Should we go over? I mean, I think I'll go, why don't I go over? Yeah, why don't you go over? Let's just go over just us.

You say congratulations. You're very thrilled for her. Your friend is Sam. I'm Raston by the way. Nice to meet you. Raston, nice to meet you. Yeah, why don't I go over there? Raston, but I'm scared.

Once you see me doing it, you'll be like, oh, it's nothing. She's same old Jaina. All right. All right, yeah. So you go up and like approach the stage and approach Jaina and Jaina. All right. All right, yeah. So you go up and like approach the stage and approach Jaina and Jaina. Yeah.

And the steward. And I quickly like via report scores. I'm like, hard one, I'm gonna name drop you. Yeah, that's cool. I think that's for A. Okay. So you walk up to the table. Yeah.

Or as you're starting to get close, you do, it is Jaina, the old man steward, wearing a bronze beard robe and Jema. So whatever you say, all three here. Yeah. Okay. I'm just going to say, um, hello, I'm so sorry to interrupt you guys, got your own separate table here, but I just wanted to introduce myself.

My name is Moonjian, and I'm good friends with Hardwan Surefoot, who is from Iron Deep. You see Gemma's eyes slide up, and you see Jaina just like puts her hand on her face like what the fuck, and you see the old steward goes, get out before I call security on you. Okay, I'm so sorry, I haven't seen him in a while. Hardwan Surefoot is not a friend of the bronze of your family. Okay, I am so sorry I haven't seen him in a while. Hard one sure foot is not a friend of the bronze veered family.

Okay, I am so sorry, I deeply apologize. I honestly I was not invited here by the sure foot, I was invited here by the, by the, what is the matter? By the venerals and I just thought it was a funny coincidence. I was not trying to start anything. Uh, Gemma goes, how is Hard one, by the way? It does not matter how hard one is. Goodbye.

All right, bye. Bye. He's doing great, by the way. His quads have gone even bigger. I like your hand. I just wanted to say that I'm separate from moonshine. I'm kind of like eavesdropping near the table. Oh, okay.

So I wanna hear what the steward says of the hard run after. Okay, go ahead and roll a stealth check. Oh boy. There we go. 17, 17. And but you guys have password of choice, right? Yeah, so it's an extra check.

She have a 27. Cool, this guy has pretty good perception. Gina has pretty good perception. Jaina has pretty good perception. Let's see, she rolls in that one. So Bev, I'll say that you're kind of down in the trench, kind of hiding up against the wall near where Gemma and Jaina and the steward are. And you can also see that there is a hallway nearby.

Oh, and you see glowing light. And you can kind of gather that that's how you get to those colored towers that were outside like the different lights. Okay, so you're down there and you're listening and you hear the steward go, what is it? Woman think she's doing coming up here and bringing a poor one shorefoot. It's not a big deal, Barrel, just like, get off my back, okay? And Jaina goes, let's just, let's talk about something other than hard one shorefoot, shall we? Let's just move on.

He's not here, one of his friends is here, whatever. Let's move on. So I'm down with like the mine carts that bring people food. Yep. Do they have food yet? They don't. They do not have food yet.

I want to hide a note Under the goblet or the food that's gonna be going to Jema okay, and I'm gonna say meet me by the glowing hallway HS Wow Holy fucking shit, okay So Bev you're hiding down there you You see a servant comes by, takes their orders, sliders. Bev, you hear her order order the polar bear sliders. Oh my god.

Delicious. And, so, lovely. Yeah, you see a few minutes later, times ticking on hard one, the waiter comes back with a cart with her sliders slip under their slider, okay? I'll go ahead under a slider go ahead and give me a slight of hand check against this guys perception Oh 17 17 pretty good. Okay, you beat this guy's perception you are able to slide a note into the slider It says meet me in the color hallway H.S. What are you guys doing barrel is such a piece of shit? He's just such a fucking Okay, you need to go to that glowing hallway. What are you guys doing? Barrel is such a piece of shit. He's just such a fucking snake hole.

Okay, you need to go to that glowing hallway. What? Why? You need to go to that glowing hallway. What? Why? You didn't hear, but just told us in reports. It's been pissed about Barrel this whole time. Yeah, hurtful. Okay, get your shit together because you're about to turn into hard one Sherpa, and you need to be in that glowing hallway.

So, I'm just gonna grab him by the gruff, like he's a misbehaving dog. And I'm gonna start dragging him to the glowing hallway. However, I am being aware, if there is ever, it doesn't look like it's gonna be hard to get to the glowing hallways, they're gonna be like, you might wanna do a stealth check to kind of like slip in. Yeah, that's what we'll do. Okay, go ahead and do a stealth check.

You sure don't want to like put a tablecloth around you like a big dress and have the dog walk underneath it. Okay, I do that. You also get advantage on stealth checks because I'll say that you can hide your boot to develop in kind of the way. Yeah, I got a 29. You got a 29? I got a 22.

Because I get a plus 10. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was with my play. Okay, I'm going to flat out say that with a 29, the way that you? Because I get a plus 10. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was with my plus 10. OK, OK, I'm going to flat out say that with a 29, the way that you guys get back there is you see that one of the guys has like a cart that he has to bring up onto the stage to kind of get it back to the hallway

to bring it back to the kitchen. And Moon Shining Hard One, you guys slip in after he's like gone up the ramp. So he's already got some momentum. So he't totally notice it you start going down this hallway You see that there are a series of doors with windows next to them that take you up to the different towers You see there's a red a green one and a blue one in this hall So what are you guys doing? So you guys you're just in this long hallway? Did Bev say which long hallway to go to and it's not we could still

Report sports though. Oh, but I did not put that in the note. We could each be at one of those Cool, so you were poor sports and you say that you'll each go to one So you guys are gonna kind of like roll out from under the cart and each like kind of subtly open a door Yeah, okay I'll say with that role you guys are successful able to do it which colors you guys going in red blue green Okay, I'll do red cool green so hard ones in red moonshine goes to green blue is still on account for bev you are hiding near the bronze beards And you see Gemma as she goes to take a bite polls

The little node out looks at it and you see her eyes go wide and she kind of shifts her eyes and looks in both directions and she sees the hallway. I'm gonna say barrels still like ranting and he's kind of an old dummy but I'm gonna say Jane is gonna do a perception check but Gemma like really quickly lowers the paper. Fucking Jane is, Jane is good and she just rolled goddamn six, but so she does not see it. Okay, so Jaina's not see it. So Jema notices. So Jema notices.

Jema getting up, Jema sees it and Jema goes, Jena have to go to the bathroom. Stay here and talk to Barrel. And you see Jema gets up. The diamond is in the rough. I repeat, the diamond is in the rough. Ha ha ha. I...

What a diamond she is. She had a glow up, right Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. I am in it. What a diamond she is. She had a glow up, right? Right, big time. I shake out of my wolf form. Okay. Chillin' in the hallway. Is there a way for you to? I was trying to think of a way to

hint for her to go into the red hallway. So, Gemma enters the hallway and she sees that there are people passing and stuff. Okay, I'm going to send Pop-O to go point at the red hallway. Okay, I'm going to do a stealth roll for Papa. At plus 10, he's in the pass without trade screw. Pop-O got a goddamn 28. Yes.

Papa, Papa fucking squeezes under the door and sprambles down. No bones. And you see Gemma sees Papa Let's out like a little gasp and he goes Like he just like gets her like an intelligent look like I am an animal companion I'm not a normal dad and pop them like look super fucking confused But then Papa runs under the red door and hard one you see, Papa scrambles under the door that you're in.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, little buddy. Right. What the hell you say? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Make sure the crick-knots nice and tight pop up. Hard one you see Gemma opens the door and she sees you and she Instantly slams the door behind her and she goes What are you doing here? Hey? My dad is gonna kill you. This is my wedding week. I know and First of all congratulations. Thank you. Oh my god.

Didn't see this, this government. No, I didn't see this at all. I'm happy, you're happy. If you're happy, whatever, doesn't matter, not my place. We should find somewhere better to talk. Where, where do you want to go, Gemma? I don't fucking know how to go, man. This is my goddamn house.

All right, this is my gasoline. There I don't know anything about house, finerone. I was invited to this. I'm supposed to make an appearance. You look a bit jar, by the way. I don't know anything about house funeral. I was invited to this I'm supposed to make an appearance you look with your other way. I don't know about to say that I don't want it should we go see what's up the stairs sure yeah of course yes Let's go up the stairs. So you guys go up the stairs. Let me just roll a check to see if I'm just gonna leave. I was gonna say, can I go,

like how to keep watch of the door? Sure, that's a good idea. So you can come up. So you can sort of be there and then if anyone comes by. The poor is poor is me. Well, yeah, but I'll let you know, but also if anyone comes by, I'll just pretend like I thought it was a bathroom

and that I was waiting for someone to come out. Cool. Cool. Classic. I'm gonna roll to see if there's anybody in this tower as you guys are climbing up. There is knots. You guys climb the stairs. It's this very, it's this very narrow spiral staircase

because they kind of just go up and curve around. And you get to your first door and you can see out the window that it's a little balcony. Oh my god, this is too romantic. Okay, the light's no falling. There's a light snowfall. I hold the door for Gemma. You hold the door for Gemma.

Gemma goes out there, hard one you join her. Bev, down at the table. You've got Jaina and Barrel down there and suddenly a very drunk member of the Venerable family. Mm-hmm. Hell yeah. She's got like a purple dress on with blue. You know that to be their house color suit. Assume it's one of them. She walks over and she points to Jaina and she goes, you think you'll come to you, summer dorth,

you can just come here and marry our men. You just think you can come here. That's my boyfriend. That's my boyfriend. That's your boyfriend. Oh my God, the pale prince has a gemma. And Jaina goes, please, you're drunk. Jaina kind of like starts to get,

starts to like kind of get up in her face. And you see one of this, uh, Venerable Woman's relatives kind of like comes up, the, she had the luck to drink. We love you. We love you very much. And, uh, they pull her away. I relay this information.

And Bev, you do see that the old steward that was outside taking names is just walking around. Have you seen the moon, John? John, she owes me a dance. Has anybody seen the moon, John? Moon, John, she owes me a dance. Oh, this is breaking my heart. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go dance with him.

I'm gonna go. What are you really? Okay. Somebody comes in the door and kills me. Haha. So, I'll keep an eye. I'll keep an eye. Pick one, you go to the dance floor or you stay in the hallway.

I'll trade places with her. Okay, you don't trade place with me. I have to go ahead and give me another stealth check. I can't believe this guy. That's a one, but I get to re-roll. Oh God. That's a six, that's so much better. Six, as you can though.

Oh, right, 16. 16, okay. Bev, you start to sneak in that hallway and you see this dwarf in purple and blue, obviously part of the Venerable family. Yeah. Oh, which is looking for the bathroom? The bathroom's not this way.

You go out the way to bathroom. This private area. Okay. Venerable's only. Even if I need to do number two. Even the few. I don't need to hear about your poop, your boy though. It is diarrhea.

I don't want to know that. You have a special diarrhea toilet. I do not have a special diarrhea toilet. I have diarrhea all the time. I eat a polar bear meat. I don't need any vegetables. I have diorid all the time. I eat a polar bear meat. I don't eat any vegetables. I have dioriticulitis. What is that?

That is when you do not eat an of vegetables and you stomach, you start shit. I'm actually, I'm a paladin. Maybe I could help you with that. You're a paladin. You can help me with my shit. Yeah, if you want me to do a lot of stress. You and me go to the bathroom together.

You help me poop. You help me poop. I'm old man. I'm old man. I'm old man. I need to do it. I need to do it. You help me poop. You help me poop. I'm old man. I need to do. Heal me while I poop because I have hemorrhoids. I have hemorrhoids and I need your help. You and I go. You and I go to the bathroom. So this is the store. This store. They see you to the bathroom And just starts horrible horrible shit. Oh It hurts in the rest of me Restore me boy. Yes, I

Less or Help me help me are you less a restoration? I like hold a handout It may get go out easier. Thank you hard one you're unprotected There's nobody watching the door. Thank you so much. Oh, you're only home Valnor is just out there dancing He's just grinding with the grandma moon shine you're out there dancing with the old man This episode of nad pod has brought to you five bird dogs Dancing with the Old Man This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Um, and hard one. You are out on this balcony with Gemma. You see that there's this quasi-private balcony. It's facing north, so it's not facing most of the other

keeps. You see out here, there's a view of the cold iron castle. It looks like this big cathedral. There's all these stained glass windows and everything in these spires. It's a super cool looking castle And you see the purple rift in the sky like this beautiful Northern lights Gemma, do you really believe Mordon's on the other side of the map? Let me show you what I believe in Gemma and Gemma goes. Why are you in frost wind hard one? Look first of all I did not come to ruin your wedding. I know nobody wants me here. I know you don't want me here.

Hell, I don't even want to be here. You're making things harder, hard one. She turns dramatically. I'm doing this to get away from my father. Out here and she walks over to the railing and she looks at the sky, I can I can start a new and I can forget the life that I had in Iron Deep where I'm under my family's thumb. I can maybe have some semblance of being myself and not being controlled every second,

although the people here are really weird and kind of controlling, so, and you being here is just, makes things even weirder. I'm sorry, I know you wanna forget everything that ever happened in I&D, that's what you want, right? I don't want to. Look at your new beautiful house. I didn't come here to ruin your fucking wedding, Gemma. Then why are you here, hard one?

I have this jewel. It's got Ulfgar inside of it. You see her eyes go wide. What do you mean you have a gem with Ulfgar inside of it? Ulfgar's missing. I hold the gem up to her face. He hates me. He seems really angry. Yeah. It's a real long story, but I was involved in the warring collateron.

I'm, I'm glad you're okay. Thank you. I didn't know you cared. I, you know, it wasn't always pretty and there were complications. Jemma. But I feel like you were the only person that ever liked me for me.

Everyone else is just after my family name. Even me being up here, I'll never not be a bronze beard. Well, I'm glad that you can continue to run away. That's good for you, Gemma. You left, Ironty. Heady. Heady. Heady. I'm not giving up.

I hold a grudge. Are you guys coaching me through this? I think at this point, you guys don't have... At this point, you guys are far away. You don't have reports, words. Well, I'm glad you're getting away from your dad for once. That's nice, but you're still listening to everything he's ever asked of you. Mary the Pale Prince.

Life isn't up with hard one. We were kids, hard one. It was something that's in our past. It's something that's a beautiful and something that happened, but it doesn't need to control us for the rest of our lives. It's over for both of us. For sure. And that's why I totally want you to get married. The timing is weird that I'm here, and I need your help, but I just have to get off guard out of this gem so I can help my friends when this war. You can live the rest of your life with your sickly boyfriend, husband, prince. I don't, I've never, I haven't, I haven't met him yet.

Something's going on. These people are hiding something from us. The pale prince isn't here. He was supposed to come here with't here. He was supposed to come here with me tonight. He was supposed to greet me when I showed up. We exchanged letters. He was supposed to be here. What? What's going on? Where's your father? My father? He's at the he's at the cold iron keep. He doesn't like parties. You know that. She points the castle.

Pretty castle. Pretty castle. Pretty castle. It is quite beautiful out here. Yeah, it's great. I stare passionately into the distance. Why did you really come out here, hard one? I... I...

I just want you to know that... that I'm sorry for the way things ended. I... If we were going to break up, we should have done it for our own reasons. We shouldn't have done it for your father. I agree. I guess we'll never know if we would have worked. Yeah, you're a princess. I'm a bastard.

You're a beautiful, beautiful dwarf and I'm an ugly, ugly man. She kisses you. I wink at papa. and I'm an ugly, ugly man. She kisses you. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I wink at pop-up. Oh yeah, pop-up is there.

Ram. Ram, ram. Pop-up covers his head, his eyes. None of you guys are in the hallway, right? No. What else is going on? No, I'm sorry, I took too much pity on that guy. Dude, I hope you're dancing with them.

So, hard one, you and Gemma kiss. Sick. And go ahead and give me a perception check. Oh dear. You're perceiving how much tongue she's eating. Shout out to the two crew. Oh no. That's right.

That's how good that kiss is though. Oh I know. Two pairs of lips. I can't wait for something more molded out there. From all past pompomized out there. Yeah, pop-up could have seen something. Yeah, what about pop-up's perception? Hard one. Gemma kisses you.

And in this one moment, you guys are finally together without any prying eyes or people pulling you apart, and you're distracted for just a second. The door kicks open, and an assassin's knife flies through the air and sticks into Gemma's neck. No! What the fuck are you talking about? There's nobody to see No, what the fuck are you talking about? There's nobody to see him follow you guys up into the tower Go ahead and roll initiative to see if you can catch him God damn right. Wait. I gotta save her. She's dead. No. She got sneak attack damn it. She's she's a Cominer you Son of a bitch.

Oh my god! What you roll? What you roll? A pen for initiative. He rolled in at 20. Why see this dwarf? It has a black hood on, but you see he has clothes on that are like blue and purple. Like either he is part of the Venerable family or he is disguised as the Venerable family and you see he runs forward and he jumps off, and he feather falls.

God! Gemma, Gemma, Gemma wake up. You see, she's... Hey, she's cold and dead. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Um, I've run down the stairs. Go ahead and are you being stealthy?

I don't think so. Okay. You gotta get away from the scene. You run down the stairs. You run down the stairs. Uh, you start here somebody coming up the stairs. You gotta hide. You can't have me.

You gotta hide. You can't have me. You gotta hide. You can't have me. You gotta hide. You can't have me. You gotta hide. You can't have me. You gotta hide. You can't have me. You gotta hide. Notes gonna be on her the note that says meet me in the glowing hallway Shit, but I don't even know about that note. I guess I do is he close enough is he close enough to report us Is he out of range? He's out of range shit shit. Yeah, I guess the pop-up has scrambled up and he's like in your shirt right now

Pop-up search cramble and up the stairs all right. I follow pop-up pop-up pop-up you scramble up the stairs. Alright, I follow Papa. Papa you scrambling up the stairs. Let me roll. Does anybody else up there? Jesus Christ. Oh so he can go further up. It's gonna look like he's going to go further up. He did it. Okay.

Yeah. You star. I did do it. I rolled the goddamn two. Oh. Why I feel bad? I took too much pity on that dumb guy. Yeah and I took too much pity on this guy with bad bowels.

You actually, the tragic thing about it is that this guy was at the party and you would have seen him go down that hallway if you were in that same area instead of following when the hall was all over the room. Oh, it's all good. These tragic things happen. Things happen.

Hard one, you race up the stairs and you get to another balcony. You and Papa are just stranded up in this tower. Okay, can I climb down? You can certainly try, it's dire if you fail. God, moonshine, I will say since Paul is with hard one, you know something's wrong. You feel like in your heart,

Paw's like, like, heart is being like crazy. Oh, Malorah. Okay, then I think I'm gonna go back up the stairs. Do I have any sense of where he is? Like, because the other option is I could go outside. If there was a way I could go outside and look up at that, at where those glowing hallways led. Sure, I would also do that.

Go ahead and roll. I guess roll a wisdom check to see how kind of in tune you and pop are that you could kind of tell how far away it is. Oh, not good. Nine. Nine. And all you know is that these guys are in trouble. I'm a report sports Bev.

I say Bev, get over here. Okay. Do you get it? Or where are you by the way? I'm in the bathroom. Okay, I need you to meet up with me right now. I head by the way? I'm in the bathroom. Okay. I need you to meet up with me right now. I head over to the hallway.

You exit the bathroom. I cast invisible on both of us. Okay. So you guys have to find like a corner and kind of do that. So we go into the corner. Okay. So you guys are both invisible. What are you doing with Balnor?

I think he, I tell him, Balnor keep that bag safe. Can I try to make a move on this pill dwarf woman or should I go for it? You know what? I go for it? I actually think it's kind of rude to do it first night tomorrow. Okay. What you should do is follow up tomorrow. I'm getting a little tipsy anyway.

I might do something. I mean, get her a dress for sure. Get her digits. Balnor heads off. You guys are going up the red hallway? Yeah. Yeah. You go up the red hallway

and you see a Vindral dwarf running down the stairs screaming. And I'm assuming you guys kind of like move to the side. Yeah, we're in full stealth. I'm going to L.C. Papa. You go up the stairs, you see door open out on the balcony. Gemma Bronzebeard dead with a dagger in her neck out on the balcony. Beth, do you think Hardwon did this?

Maybe? I don't know. Okay, I'm gonna go look over the edge to see if I see Paw Paw. Once you guys get up to that balcony, and Hardwon is just like one floor away. Above you guys, your guys are poor sports starts working again. Okay. But, Do you think Hardwon did this hard one? Did you, what?

Did you, what, excuse you? Did you kill this hard one didn't what did we? Excuse you, did you kill her? A lot of stuff I'm gonna come clean about everything Brian fucking kill her Yeah, that's the thing is you can't talk about how you broke up with her But then I started to get vibes that something else happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah She broke up with me, but it was sort of mutual. It was mostly her dad doing it, but now she's fucking dead. And now I'm-

What happened? I don't fucking know, we kissed. Okay, where are you? So we can come to you. Are you with Papa? I'm on the next- I'm on the next balcony. Are you with Papa? I'm-

And the rain reenact. Papa's up here. Oh my, good, Malora, she's trans. Well meet up with you. Is the dagger visible? Yes, the dagger is in her neck. I wrap my hand in a cloth and take the dagger. Yeah.

Okay. And then grab that note. Oh yeah. Grab the note too. Wait, hard one, is there anything? Yeah, we're gonna come to meet you. Is there anything you need from us? Just the note, no fucking hug, man.

Okay, yeah, okay, we grab the note too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, then you guys scoot up. You guys are on the second floor. You guys, as you're running up the stairs, invisible to get to hard one, you guys have successfully taken the dagger. You guys have all your stuff.

You guys are reunited, but as you guys are running up the tower, you do hear people running from below up to the balcony because they've heard the one guy yelling. What is a... Y'all, I think that I should cast invisibility on you and Papa as well, spider climb on all of us, and I think we should just climb down and get the fuck out. Moonshan, why spider climb when we can feather fall?

Ooh! I guess feather fall on all of us. Oh, do you have enough for all three of you? Let me double check. How many of you? Pretty sure it's up to five. Choose up to five falling creatures within range Awesome great. Have you cast feather fall on everyone? Yes

I knew this will come in handy. Yes, I guess I swan dive off the balcony. Yeah, I think we all do Actually, I want to like Olympic dive so you guys jump off of this balcony And you feather fall down as you're feather falling down, you begin to hear a commotion up on that first balcony and you guys hit the ground pretty hard, falling 60 feet per round, but not enough to do,

enough damage to you that it matters at this moment. Give me tuck and roll. Yeah. You guys tuck and roll. So you guys land. You guys are now in like this back garden area of the keep, but there's still a wall around the front. You begin to hear a commotion up on the balcony,

and you see that there are three iron dwarves back here. What do you guys do? I'll say you guys are kind of hiding behind like a evergreen type shrubbery. Can I use nature's wrath? And I'm reports pouring this plan to everyone else. Can I use nature's wrath to build a vine-fressed acclaim over the fence with? I'll let you do like in our connoissech to see how it works, but it'll also be like a slight of hand. I have another idea. You and I are misty-step, and then I use another invisibility on hard one and Paw Paw.

That's good. Great. I'm very unhelpful in these situations. That's just a big, big hunk of a man. Yeah. Should we wait? Could we give hard one a rope? Yeah.

Hold on to the rope ourselves. Misty step into the air and then fling hard one up with the impact of our Misty Step. But he would be invisible though. Yeah. also that. Yeah, we're gonna try and do that. But I'm saying like we catapult him by like the physics of like instantly appearing somewhere else.

Yeah. I've had a very rough night. And I'd like to be catapulted. Okay. Okay, so I'm going to cast invisibility on hard one and papa. Okay. And then look at that and can we coordinate misty steps? Yes, yeah. So this is just like a rich person's keep, this is

not military keep or anything. I'll say with invisible and with misty step you're not even gonna need to roll a stealth check to get out over the wall. So just go ahead and tell me how you do the catapult thing the hard one. I guess we probably do the Misty Step Dance. Yeah. Yeah. And then we just sort of a dozy doe. Lots of linking limbs.

Maybe we, you said there was an evergreen tree. Yes, you guys are hiding behind a patch of evergreen trees. That's their version of a garden. You know what I think we do is I think our Misty Step trajectory is right through the bows of the evergreen tree so that then we sort of the rope will come through and sort of like fling hard one over the tree. Yep using the tree as a full crop. Exactly. Great hard one you shoot up over the wall. Just a really depressed hard one. I'm like almost like she's like beginning a Bojack horseman when he's just like dead in the face and like. Just he's ragdolling fully.

Yeah. I wait the sweet mercy of death. So you guys, you guys get on the other side of the wall. What are you guys doing now? Because you're in the streets and you know that these streets are quasi heavy patroled. Do you think we should like head to the front of the gate and pretend like we're just leaving with everyone else? No, I think maybe. I don't know. Yeah, it's probably better to leave in like a sea of people But even a trickle of people leaving just because the party was winding down. I think we tried like it wasn't winding down

Yeah, it wasn't so I think maybe we'll stealth towards the front gate and then when people start leaving we'll join that Okay, yeah, trying to find Balnor so you guys just follow the trickle of people You see that there are a few other dwarves that are kind of going home early. They just had dinner and decided to kind of call it a night early. Hard one is invisible. Hard one is invisible. In spirit and balnor finds you guys. He was already walking home. You guys catch it to Balnor. Balnor throws his arms around you guys and he goes, I had a great night. I trip Bailnort. Whoa, hey, you gotta watch the stones here. Hard ones here.

Oh, what do you mean? There was an assassin. Someone assassinated Gemma and we kind of probably, I don't know if anyone's gonna find out that she was meeting up with Hard One, but if they do, suspicion will't be cast on hard one. And if they don't, Gemma's still dead. Sorry, hard one.

Yeah. The big cliff note here is that my ex is dead and we were really maybe gonna get back together. She opened the door a tiny little bit. I've been lying for a long time, but this really happened. Oh gosh, buddy. Yeah, you guys get back to this ship and I'll say that hard one, you can kind of

un-invis yourself. Oh, okay. Okay, I have a crazy suggestion right now. Should we just get in touch with the bronze beard family and offer them the mithril armor to wage war against the bank. I think we need to get Jayne. We need to get Jayne here.

She's the only other person that knows that I'm not a shithead. The rest of the Bronzebeards hate me and they're not great people either. So before Gemma was assassinated and right before we kissed by the way because that also happened. Nice to. She said that she was she that there was like some weird shady shit going on. She hadn't even met the pale prince. What? She hadn't met him and he was supposed to be here when she got here. There was also that woman who said it was saying that she was the pale prince's girlfriend. Yeah, yeah.

I bet Jaina would know more information, but also we gotta find this pale prince. We gotta ask more questions of the royal family because they're eventually who we need to talk to. I know that's the thing is we can't just, we eventually need the king of what is the king's hammer. But maybe Janine will know.

And to use an ally, everybody else hates us. And I know that when they're gonna think I killed Gemma. Aha. Janine is the only person that will think that I didn't kill Gemma. So my only thought is I could try and use animal friendship to befriend a sparrow to send her a message. That seems normal. I don't have animal messenger stocked about just animal friendship.

Let's make friends with an animal. Yeah. Maybe? Yeah. Okay, I go up to the deck. Is there like a winter thrush? Yeah. Okay, so you're gonna, you're gonna try to find like a bird.

Moonshine, you do a whistle and- Where the hell is Jane even staying? She's probably gonna be near her sister's dead body at the castle. How am I gonna just cry to this owl how to find Jane? She's the only dwarven maiden there without a beard dressed in men's armor. She's gonna have a beard. No beard. Yeah, that'll help.

Yeah, bold choice. You see a snow owl. She keeps it tightly shaped. and lands on the ship. All right, y'all. We got to ask Jane to meet us, but we got to meet her in a place that if this message goes to the wrong person We'll be able to like a place that we a hole up and if the wrong person comes we just abandoned yeah So like not the ship is what I'm sorry a dive bar. Okay. We'll invite her to the tavern Not the one we were in before no Kicked out of that the poorest tavern in this rich ass city. Yeah, let's invite her to the poorest tavern

So you guys have the one tavern ice to meet you that you got kicked out of you shouldn't go back to Probably not, but you remember passing another tavern called the fox and the thresh Okay, so I'm gonna write a note that says, dear Jaina, we have information about Jema. Meet us at the Fox and the Thresh. Should we give some sort of identifying thing? No, we'll just recognize her. Okay, so that's all I say.

I don't sign it. I just put it in. Did you write it? Oh, I'm sorry. Paw Paw wrote it. Man, man. If you look at easy, then it's just his mouth, that right, say, I'm sorry. Pop, pop, roll. Man, man. If you look at easy, then it's just a no beverage. I say, I proofread it.

I'm proofread it. He's getting better. He's doing more than just no. Can we say that the note is now mo crossed out in red and then the note in that? And then fine-stripped from Beverly. Yeah. Wow, it's mo, but you've been in E this time.

Man, very impressive. Okay, so I roll it up, give it to the owl, and I say, go to the bronze dwarf with no beard. Woo, woo, see the owl flies off. God, I hope that thing understands. Fingers crossed. Owls are wise. Even if he doesn't get to Jaina,

I need a fucking drink, so let's go to the different one. Yeah, okay, all right. We go into the tavern now Yeah, I think that's what our new says before we do that I pull out the weapon that I took oh Have you have a hard one you say Bev has the bloody knife? I Inspect it do I yeah, we should get rid of this but I figured it was worth keeping Yeah, I'm suspect and now I have the murder weapon

Yeah, go ahead and make an investigation check on yeah, I got a 13 I got a 12 for investigation hard one I'll say you're super pissed. I'll give you the advantage Thank you you're inspired. Oh young babe. I got 11. I got a 17 on the station. 17. Bev, you look at it and you see that there is a green gem in there, like an emerald. Is it magic? Poison damage, like my fiance. Do you know that you could fight to that?

Moron. Did your piance kill my ex? Oh, my lord. You got damn soap off the guy that you saw. I just hear players and you are putting on a show. Hard one. The guy you saw definitely did not have a hunchback. Oh, my piance has a hunchback. I forgot. It wasn't that guy. But they would have gotten it from him.

We could bring this to the Geomancer tomorrow. We could ask him who he made this for. Yeah, let's hide this for now. Yeah, let's keep it on industry. We just toss in the ocean. Are we gonna need it anymore? I think we should show it to him. Cause he might say, I made this and I sold it to this person.

Oh, I got you. Yeah. Should we, it feels dangerous to have it in the bag of holding, it feels dangerous to have it on the boat. What do we do? I have a secret compartment in the, uh, in the captain's quarters. That is true.

I'm setting myself up to be framed. This is exactly what they are saying. That's not good. We can't do that. No. You know what? I'll just, Guys, I'll take it.

This is why I'm here. If I get caught, I'll say that it was me. No, no, you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't say it was you. But I, if you get caught, then we'll go through the normal standard investigatory procedure and you'll have an alibi, you were dancing out there with a woman the entire time.

But Bound or the Brave, be holding things in the bag is, is your burden to bear. I think it is yours. I will put it in a separate bag and I will guard it with my life. Put it in a tiny bag into the main bag. He puts in a tiny bag.

Boundary, are you sure? This is what I'm here for. I am here to carry your items regardless of how incriminating they may be. You know, World War II's losses are gay. You honor us, Bel. World War II now? Oh, right, one.

Yeah, I turned it down. It's an honor. I honestly feel bad for how good of a night I had and how bad of a night everyone else had. Belanor, what you're doing is so stupid and courageous, it could only be done by a member of the band of boobs. You see, he starts to tear up. You guys, I just think I'm a boob. Yeah.

That's an absolute boob, boob, boob. You're a boob. Balnor gives you a hug, hard one. Boob's wrecking, boob's recognized boobs. I think we all probably hug hard one. Yeah, I try not to cry into everybody's shoulders. Oh, you guys all hug and hard one, despite the sadness you know that you and Gemma will always have Frostwind. She did kiss me. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh, I want to go meet up with Jaina so bad. Yeah,

this one, this one hurt me, man. me. Are you mad at me for going? No, I'm mad at myself for rolling it too. That was me. I'm mad at myself for taking pity on that dude, but I don't know what it was. It was just a lot of bad luck. He was the one who got us in. But we did everything that we would do.

Like you guys, that was true to moonshine. moonshine would have done that. And Bev would have helped the guy with his bowel. With his idea. I should also, it's also like, if hard. Obviously that I wouldn't change for the world. If hard one, if you rolled really well

on that perception check, it still would have been like, you with none of your stuff really fighting an assassin, that is trying to kill like somebody with no armor and low HP. She could have still like kind of hit him behind you and you guys could have fought it out. It would have been kind of a cool fight scene, but instead it ended up being a super fucking tragic moment. Yeah.

Oh boy. I never got to see how awesome up a fighter I was. She did get to see how big your quasad got. That's true though. She's gonna look good. Man, I loved that fucking plan of slipping the note. Yeah. That was beautiful.

In her dinner. I'm glad we got a moment. But I'll talk more about it on a trashy trash. I'm glad we got a moment. But I'll talk more about it on a trash trash trash. I'm glad we got a fucking note back. Cause that was just like, ain't got a lot to do.

Yeah, but this is all pretty much short rest stuff. Absolutely. Yes, guys, head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod. That's n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d, do not sing yet. We are. We aren't, yes. We aren't, we aren't. We haven't used the fination yet.

Guys, we have a lot of things to plug. Callable, you start. I would love to. I would like to plug Cartoon Hell, a new show that me and Jonathan Tinkler doing over on Dropout, we have preview clips that air on DROPHY every week. But if you want to subscribe to the show, it's a new cartoon show based on the classic DROPHY format you know and love.

You can head over to bit.ly slash cartoon hell. You get a free trial. See if you like it. I think it's great. It's got a lot of fun guest stars and drawings and cartoons. Please watch it. Dope. Yes, and if you subscribe to Dropout, you'll also get me and Emily's show with our DM daddy, Brendan Mulligan and a bunch of other friends from College Schumer called Dimension 20.

It's a very cool D&D show with that's a video play show. Tis great. And then also, if you already have Netflix, just type a hot date and you can watch me and Merfs for a season. Yeah, so press the microphone button and say hot date and it'll come up. Oh, shit, do that. Holy shit, I'm gonna go home and do that.

Or just yell at someone else and tell them to type it in. I guess have a servant, that's what I'm getting at. So, when you always suggest that. So guys go to Netflix and check out Hot Date, me and Emily's sketch show and buyer book, Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call into your emergency contact. It's available on Amazon and Audible Jake.

You got some stuff. Yeah, Lonely and Horny is also on dropout. Season one is out there now, and season two is coming in November. Boyfict. Okay, guys, follow us on Twitter at J-Cur, which is Jake, at CH-Murf is me, at EX for his Emily, and at Call the Is Called Well,

and tweet about the show using hashtag, NADPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. Rest in peace, baby. Oh, sorry, Jim. Take it too soon. It's the end of the episode, everybody.

And that means we need to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. Laura and Polora sit in your pocket you gods. Starting with Matthew M. The Bullywug Prince, master of ceremonies at the annual Bullywug Ball, an event so bright that you need to wear sunglasses because of all the gorgeous smiles. Oh, I love it like a commercial. Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven. Brad D is so brave. There's actually a ton of rumors that they are, in fact,

not pure Pebble Pot. My goodness, J Lomas 72, aka Steelbreak, or Hard One's Jim Spiration, does chin-ups with their chin. Now that's a thick neck. Ooh, wow, I can picture it, I can see the veins. Thick neck. Thick neck, Andrew A, I can picture it, I can see the veins. Fick, neck. Fick, neck, Andrew, A-A-K, Philzbar, Ligardin, the half elf.

Philzbar's alks also have Jewish and celebrates Hanukkah and Krekmas. Oh, that's nice. Taylor Poppa, the sixth legendary bard to whom no item is in an instrument is scheduled to play Gemma's funeral where they will play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on a loot made of Gemma's beard hair tragic. Wow, we're going there immediately, okay? Dylan, be a super weak wizard who wields 12 swords. Look super bad as that bars, but his sister won't trust him to babysit his niece.

Simon W, the bootleg of Hard One's soft loss, has never kissed his ex, but also his ex is still alive. Again, brutal, brutal merciless. Danny P. Bohumi's resident artist, painted Hard One's senior portrait at the door of an edge, will be painting James' own picture. This is just the roast of Gemma Bronzebeard recently killed door. Tom P, father of the realm, once serenator of sleeping babies who recently graduated to entertainer of White Awake babies, is said to be so good at hide and seek in peekaboo he regularly gets missing person reports filed on him. Wow, Spencer Caskbrewk brew patron of patron elder of

libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia like invented the signature his and hers cocktails for Gemma and the pale prince's wedding. Rotees. I did. You're all these Gemma ones. You gotta go there. You know, if you got a bruise, you're kind of curious how much it'll hurt

the push. You you got a bruise, you're kind of curious how much it'll hurt to push it. You gotta put that bruise. Continue. The pale princes, the pale princes was a white Russian, but with gold slacker, and Gemma's was a red bull invacca, which seems uninspired, except that red bull doesn't exist in Bohemia Spencer, Casquebrood, just invented it.

Pedro E, Bart of the Mountains, plays a series of summer concerts in Frostwind called Rock the Rift. And Rockety does. Griffin, S.D. aka the stranger, the silver-born dragon Eldritch Knight of the owner of the Badger's pint in and tavern. After they're falling out with the Badger, Griffin, S.D. is in litigation with the Badger about whether or not the Badger has legal rights to the word badger and is currently considering renaming it. That seems not right. The badger just doesn't have rights to all badgers. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in Bohumia, has used it like Rapunzel to hoist a lover

to their window, but is also used it in some light spur of the moment bondage scenarios. Yeah, me and you. Tell me about it. Solacious, spicy, Scott D. The seamstress who sowed the bag of holding it was an accident however they were trying to make a messenger bag to put their laptop in and accidentally used enchanted thread in an arcade needle. Air and sea and airship contractors specializes in making secret compartments to store hand drawn pictures of your exes and dead parents.

You just you need those you need a good contractor to make those for you. Hermes, W, the back king, is planning on flying over Frostwin during the wedding to get a glimpse. Doesn't know Jack shit about Gemma, so it's still planning on doing a fly-by. Tialix, a selfless dentist who enlists, who enlisted in a dentist without borders program, and has been working with the dwarven at the dwarven edge, Knightley praised that someone will show up with a bunch of spare teeth to donate to their cause.

They need some bully wugs. Thank you. Pagerie, the first Bohumian to ever take a walk me down. Start an international trend, but ask not for money or recognition, just free walk me down. RJW, one of the nanoflives that is currently humping in moonshines jar, little does RJ know but the fate of the nanofly people rests in their hands.

Oh no, terrifying, is that true? No. Okay, you know more than I do. Spartus killed the polar bears that made Gemma's polar bear sliders. It's important to know where your food came from and this meal came from spartis punching a bear that is a real fucking hunter Adam are bahumi is number one arcane dealer has only one rule adam won't sell to kids he gives it to them for free okay you know what it's about the children that's why we do what we do Brent B taught a lot's magic, not wizard magic though.

The magic of intermittent fasting, Brent's got her eating within an eight hour window and it's got her looking cut. Good for her. Cassandra MHP has so much HP she would have survived. The assassination attempt and just got back down to the party for dessert with a big old knife in their neck. Yikes, but also I'd love to see it. Maddie, C-A-K, Maddie, Big Grits, Matt C, once rolled a D-1000 and guess what?

He's still crit! Well, he rolled a 20, but we're gonna count that as a crit. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly she held the door open for the assassin who killed Gemma. Oh, dastardly! You see, aka Aldor Fransbach, MBP of the giant war's crewed on the SS Stormborn and fought alongside a license red, unbeknownst to the boobs, is currently wandering the tundra, looking for the perfect view of the purple rift for a romantic snow picnic.

That's cute. Manipi, aka Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. When you go to a bar for the first time and it just happens to be happy hour, that's Mani blessing you with his savings. Wow. Gemma could have used some of Mani's help.

The fire's rising. Jesus. Damien. You're right. Daniel, you, you wrote some too. I saw some gems in your section. Daniel, you, aka, multiple for the owner of a sweet boat that sounds like Gilbert Godfrey.

Daniel is in some hot water after the boat, tweeted some controversial takes and people aren't sure whether to blame him or the boat itself. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, a played the wedding welcoming party and kept everyone good and distracted with his sick beats. Sorry, can I just go back to Daniel you? You gotta separate the man from his boat.

Okay, that's all, that's all. I just thought of that as I was reading it. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and Slayer of Born, the Cobald. That's right, that well hung Cobald from episode 6 was resurrected and Jeffrey killed him with a frickin' blunderbuzz! Xavier C runs Xavier's school for gifted dwarfins and teaches young dwarfins how to become insanely powerful. It's borderline irresponsible. That's so cute, I would love to see a dwarfen. In any case, just in general, just a childless dwarf? You mean a parentless dwarf?

Yes, parentless. I suppose it's good that they're childless. And dwarfing with no parents, but so many children. Okay, cutter W, a high-off dandy-turned-crick bark attack. Each stump comes with a built-in timeout bag and an ultrasound floor, so your squatters are comfortable. Like sketch, a sketch artist for the Esri Bubble Police. Lieutenant Candace Bricker describes everyone as a renegade,

so Lex has to draw a lot of leather jackets. Bubble Police is a really funny phrase that we have not set nearly enough. John S.H.A.K. Schubert, the mushroom, the band, thanks John S for helping them get report sports, a mechanism that lets the players plan to want Murph right in front of his dang face. You got one up, you got your bell rang. Ryan M. Asadia Sassin entering the stairwell, it was looking for someone to tell,

but stopped for too long at the buffet table. See, you're all over that assassin, she did. I did read a lot of gist. I wrote a lot of gist. Elena C. Is Rumor to be marrying the pale prince in place of Gemma. Will you knight the dwarves and live in a cool castle if they don't get assassinated? Andrew M and Iron Pleased Warf who befriended a young boy and decided to rebel against their programming to fight for love and peace. They were remote detonated by Iron Dwarf HQ moments later. Brutal.

Ricky. Autal. Ricky. AK. Tricky. Ricky of the Cricky was supposed to host the after party for the VINRAL wedding gala, but it turned into a tasteful last minute candlelight vigil slash rager for Jemma instead. You got a rage. You got a rage. Rage into the dying of the light.

Jemma's light being the dying one. Andrew R. Anomash Music Professor who wrote the Bard book that Beverly has been studying looks like Kenny G. If the G in the Kenny G stood for no. I'm honestly glad that we're doing this like a week after we recorded because we are making a lot of gem a dying joke. Sure. I don't know that I could have handled them a week ago.

Cannibalistic, c'thulu a terrifying boss monster who has like 50 different final forms. Seriously, every time you think you've defeated them, they turn into a boat with wings or some other bullshit at super annoying. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana, and tried to open a Blumana in Glade Home, but the elves there only drink light beer. No. Which seems out of character, but it's canon now, so what can you do? Oh, do you think they'd love cocktails.

Victor T. Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, as a way of coping with his loss, Victor invented the sleeping bag and was later awarded the gold medal for scientific achievement by the Kaiser himself. Henry A. the world's first half elf, half dwarf, AKA Dwealth Hybrid. Unfortunately, he's totally mortal except for his beard.

Lance Dubia runs a rival clothing store in Froshwind called Fancy Lances. They basically sell the same stuff, but all their pelts are still alive. It's also a pet store. Justin I, the fluid druid, can store water like a camel and cast powerful ice spells. Also the only person in Bohumia that has to pee more than Jake. I didn't think that it well certainly doesn't exist on earth. But maybe there's someone who needs to

pee more than Jake and Bohumia. Caleb, head of the head of a junior winter wolves recruitment program known as the Pups of Coles Beverly has applied seven times since he arrived. Clayton M. A Claymation Dalmation. Their spot shift in Swirl like a Rorschach test. It's not a very useful power in battle, but it does allow Clayton to quickly assert in what sort of relationship you have with your mother. Oh, interesting TJM. The total judo master. do not get too close to TJM unprompted because this cat will flip your whole ass, no questions asked. The professional, the only lawyer to ever successfully beat pop-on litigation, Dick Wolf is currently developing their life into a procedural crime drama called, Poe and Order.

I shall be tuning in. Jacob C., the card-carrying barbarian, the card is made. I shall be tuning in. Jacob C, the card carrying barbarian, the card is made of metal and is super short. Also, it has a handle. I guess technically it's more of a knife than a card, but it does have Jacob's email address carved into it. So who's to say? Elena M. a tailor who specializes in formal wear

for tiny mammals. Unfortunately, they work in Esri and the chosen have put a heavy tariff on all goof-related garments. Maybe they have an armadillo shell with that well fur-lined armadillo shell, huh? Because I thought I could definitely get that for pop up gone off the gunsmith who made all cops plunderbuss It's a one-of-a-kind weapon not because it's special, but because gone off went super bankrupt right after making it. Mick Pox, the code master who created our amazing website.

They powered their computer with an arcane orb filled with lightning and keep their red bowls at the perfect temperature with a constant chill touch can trip. Their office chair isn't magic, but it's ergonomic as fuck. Earl and Kathleen L, a pair of married nightmares. They gallop triumphantly through the sky, leaving heart-shaped smoke in their dust, due to the power of their love they can never be polymorph. Dylan M, straight up the assassin that killed a Gemma, Dylan, watch out, hard one is coming for you. J.A.B.G., a contractor at the Criku for a fee, can turn your stump into a log, or your

log into a stump. Really, it just shifts it 90 degrees, but they will charge you a pretty deadly for it. Corbin A. an Asimar who looks strikingly like David Borellis, causing everyone to meet them to make a fallen angel reference. Wow, I would as well. Atlas, a bard who specializes in improv comedy and stars in the popular show Bahumia's line. Is it anyway?

It's pretty good. Thank you. Bowing out. This has been Moon Shines I've been. Josh Stritch, a normal ostrich, until one day they put on a perfect tailored suit from Josh, Josh, a bank, and without even one day they put on a perfect tailored suit from Josh Josh, hey bank, and without even trying, got promoted ahead of marketing and public relations at the chosen. All right, that one wasn't so good. You're one for two camera making

camera making a Merry to Cameron God dammit Mini Who looks just like camera making even is about? What's married to Cameron? Goddammit. Mini. Who looks just like Cameron Mickey, but is wearing a bow. One for three. EL Drag, the Kirk of Frostwind. And yes, that was a Gilmore Curls reference.

One for four. Yeah. And see, landscaper and Frostwind, mostly really good at making snowman. There's a lot of pressure to have the best snowman on your block in Frostwin PJW the praying mantis who named Joe Joe Unfortunately, Joe didn't reciprocate the favor so PJW is still just praying mantis number five to their friends Damn you are put up an elite cadre of Cavaliers the horseboys

Ready and willing to be a powerful ally to the band of boobs. If only the boobs would ask nicely. And they do not do that. Quentin J. A wild uncouth barbarian with an uncharacteristically posh name. Quentin J. enjoys eating with their hands, plank jacks, and painting pagan symbols on their chest in the blood of their enemies. Typical Quentin. Caleb C. A Warlock who hates Halloween. Caleb sh- Caleb shutters their windows in October, but has the sickest light display on the

block during Christmas. The bastard of Norvija. Norvija may sound like a charming, nor-dick hamlet, but it's actually a sweltering hot island off the coast of Bohumia where the infamously sweet Bohumian mango grows. Oh, the north. Say that name fully, cause... Death of the north, sworn enemy of Jeff of the South, and for good reason too, Jeff of the South, this race is just fuck.

Joshua S, a boob, before the band of boobs even existed. Alonely boob, though, more of a solo project boob. I love a solo boob before the band of boobs even existed, a lonely boob, though, more of a solo project boob. I love a solo boob. Sure. D'ah. D'ah-mar. Flores, that frost wind, who makes floral arrangements of dead twigs and frozen roses,

aka, froses, was supposed to be the florist for gemis wedding, and is definitely still going to charge the bronze beards the deposit, at least. I mean, that's why the deposits there. Jeremy B. Leader of the Bumble Wasps, a deadly poisonous airborne insect who pollinates the Bramble lilies down by the Crick and can kill a man with one stang the Crick is terrifying. And finally, Logan C. the forensic expert who will find the stray hair from hard ones beard that got tangled in Gemma's beard during their kiss, but will purposefully destroy the evidence to save hard ones life.

She just took the rulebook and threw it right out. Right out the window, right off the balcony. Okay, thank you so much to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our benevolent Council of Elders. Head on over to patreon.com slash and ad-bod to listen to the short rest and we'll catch you guys next week with another episode. Thank you! Adios monomore! That was a hate-bomb podcast. you