Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 36: Cold and All Alone (The Frostwind Chapter)

Episode Date: October 19, 2018

The Band of Boobs are still reeling from the royal assassination and hatch a plan to find the killer. Moonshine confronts her "fiance," Hardwon reconnects with his childhood, and Beverly launches Operation: Nasty Boy. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Rowdy Crowd" by xtrgamr at Freesound.org."Snake Fight" by Emily Axford."Greener Shades" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone. Wow, yeah. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwits. Hard one, shirtfoot.

Emily Axford. Moonshan Sabin. Fianced many. Weft nun. And called Well Tanner. Beverly Toe Gold the fifth. I've got a cold in real life, so I've got a cold on the show as well. Toe Cold.

Beverly Toe Cold. It makes sense. You're in a cold on the show as well. It's so cold. It's so cold. It makes sense. You're in a cold climate and you know what? You showed up with a windbreaker. Yep, I did a snow roll. My girlfriend's dead. I thought she wasn't your girlfriend. I thought you were kind of.

You were working shit out. Oh, okay. You're absolutely working out. They were trending very well for me. Okay, guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys snuck. Oh, this is gonna be very well for me. Okay guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys snuck- Oh, this is gonna be painful, listen to. You guys snuck into the Royal Wedding Welcome Party

at Keep Venerable hosted by the Venerable Family, moonshine talked her way in with the door man by offering him a dance, and you all snuck hard one in as a polymorphed wolf companion. That was cool. So this sounds like this was a fun episode, right? Everything's going great. So let's replay last week.

After schmoozing with the other guests and gathering some intel, Gemma Bronzebeard and her sister, Jaina arrived, Bev was able to pass a note to Gemma from Hard one, telling her to meet him in a nearby hallway. Hard one, unpolymorphed, met Gemma in the hall, and together they climbed a tower and found a romantic balcony. Ooh, I like this, this sounds fun.

I need a drink. Meanwhile, down in the ballroom, Gemma's sister, Jaina, was chastised by a drunk, veneral woman claiming to be the pal prince's girlfriend. Back on the balcony, Hard one showed Gemma the gem that was imprisoning Ulfgar, then she revealed that, despite exchanging letters leading up to her trip, Gemma has yet to meet the pale prince, and it seemed that the coldines were hiding something. Gemma and hard one then had a bittersweet talk about their past, when Gemma suddenly kissed hard one, all was right in the world until an assassin burst through the door

and threw a jagger through Gemma's throat. Hard one looking very guilty, ran up the tower, Bevin Munchine headed up to the tower to find him, and along the way found Gemma, Bev took the dagger and the note so as to not incriminate Hard one and through a mix of invisibility, featherfall, and misty step you all escaped the keep just as party guests began to discover the murder scene. Back on your boat, Boundor offers to hold the murder weapon in a smaller bag inside the larger bag. Unsure of what to do, you guys summoned an animal messenger, a snowy owl, and sent it

to find Jaina Bronzebeard, who hard one is convinced will be the only Bronzebeard who won't think that he had something to do with it, and that's where we are now. So you guys are on this boat. We said that you were gonna meet her at a bar called the Fox and the Thresh, and this is, you guys wanted to find like kind of the shittiest bar possible, but you guys never really went to like the slums.

So we're gonna say that this is sort of a mid-tier bar in like the residential section, as opposed to, you know, near like fancy shops and stuff. It's artisanal, but it's still a little chinsy. Yeah, it's like a, it's a pub. Mm. Ooh, gastro. Sure.

Do they have sweet potato fries? Is it a vennagins? Just regular fries. Just regular fries. Just regular fries. Just regular fries. No truffle oil. Yeah, what's their mayo look like? You know, they don't have fancy mayo, just regular fries. Just regular fries. No truffle oil. Yeah, what's their mayo look like?

You know, they don't have fancy mayo, just regular mayo. Oh, Laura's loving it. This place will do. Okay, the question is, should I go to one of my fiance's, Mauren? Rub it in, why don't you? And I know, I'm so sorry, honestly, I don't like them at all though. That's good, that helps. Should I go and try and have them identify the sword for us or should I just go invisibly

and try to listen to like if he's having, like if we think that he's involved. That seems like a good step one. And if you can learn anything, if you can't learn anything then then you make yourself visible And then you question him from there. Yeah, I want to inspect the dagger one more time Okay, I'm looking to see specifically if there's any sort of serial number or like identifying mark Because like the dwarves are all craftsmen so they would probably sign their work They probably also all need like a Permit to carry a dagger, right?

So there's probably some sort of like dagger registration. Yeah, this one we could run it through. That's totally true. I pull it up on my speaking stone. Go ahead and make an investigate check on the blade. Young, bev detective mode. Mm. Ooh.

Investigation. Okay, that's a plus zero, but it did get a 17. 17, okay. So you look at this dagger, it's still, have you wiped it clean? Does it still have a little bit of blood on it? Still got a little bit of blood on it. Okay, so it's still has.

I just picked it up in a cloth. Still has some blood on the dagger. Don't show it to anyone. And it is this iron dagger and it's got like a golden hilt and in the center is this green gem. And when you look around the gem, you do see around the inside that it is like a veneral mark in there.

Okay. It's a veneral mineral. So it potentially, they bought it there or somebody bought it there and then gave it to this assassin. Yeah, I feel like there's two options. One is that Morin is involved in the plot and they made this dagger to kill her.

The other is that he sold this dagger to someone and might remember making it. What's gonna, what are we gonna do if it's the first thing? Well, that's why I'm like, maybe we just spy on him right now because I think if you were just involved in an assassination, you might be whisperin' about like,

oh, it went well. It's somebody daps more and up over killing the one person I love. We're gonna kick his ass. We're gonna kick his ass. Hell yeah, but we're gonna kick his ass for- I'm regretting her handshake fell in the heart. Where are we supposed to meet, Jaina at the pub? But it'll probably take her a hotman, right?

Yeah, Owl's got to find her. Can we go to the pub by way of minerals and... Yeah, it's minerals on the way to this. There's a residential section that's kind of in the center of the city. As you head west, the city starts to get a little shadier and to the east is like the slightly fancier side. So you guys will be walking like center city and then heading a little east to go to minerals

and then you'll need to go west to get to your slightly shadier bar. So it's not super far. Great. Great time. I don't know. It seems why I've dropped it. First up the boss at the time.

The other option is we could split up. It's not always, I don't personally prefer that as a player, but maybe that's a whole codependency on the part. I could, I mean, I could sit at a bar. I could certainly do that. That's smart. Let's have Boundor wait at the bar for Jaina.

Yeah. And that's good. And we'll be there soon. All right. Should we send Papa with Boundor so that Papa can run and grab us? Nice. You take this scramble, man. Ramp, ramp, ramp, ramp, uh, Papa without asking for permission, just crawl into Boundor's armor. grab us. Nice. You take this scramble man. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Armour on he's just looking for ticks. Yeah, if anything shady happens you've got the best lawyer in the realm inside your arm

All right, so we're heading over to venerals. Yeah, I think that we're sneaking think that maybe we do another invisibility Can you can you afford it? I can only do to Make two of us invisible someone should make me invisible I think because I'm recognizable to every person go to the front and distract them. I guess it's night time. They're probably not open. Yeah, they might not even be there. I'm just like hoping that more and like is such a fucking freak that he hangs out there all the time. It is not super late right now. He would need to be working late, but I think we determined that you guys basically went to the party. The polymorph was only an hour, so it's probably only like nine o'clock at night right now.

Why don't we do both y'all all make you invisible? And then all sneak, because I have the best sneak, and if I get caught, I can just pretend like I'm really horny and I wanted to see my fiance. Sweet, sounds like a solid plan. Okay, God, I hope I don't get caught. Yeah, no holes in that net. Yeah, I think the iron dwarves will believe that you're just horny.

Did anyone else just think that it's an iron dagger? Iron dwarves, iron deep? It's an iron dagger. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's got a golden hilt in the green gem in it as well. But it's an iron dagger. Mm, that's true.

And Gemma was trying to escape her father. Yeah, I guess I needed it. Oh, the father wouldn't kill her to keep her. Maybe over and down such a dick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hard one how you doing? I'm pretty mad. I'm depressed.

I'm sad scared, flown me afraid. Okay. I'm also a little drunk still. Sure. Let's keep that going, I think. I'm just, no, I'm just starting chugging coffee and eating bread before we leave. I want to be clear I'm ready to fucking kill some of her right. Okay, so I'll cast invisibility on both y'all.

Great. And then let's get this sneak mish underway. Pursuited happiness is still playing on repeat in the cup. But like slow down. Yeah, that is. What you all about dreams? I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy.

I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy.

I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy.

I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. Always depressed solo do low So you guys you guys are both invisible hard wine Beverly are both invisible and then I am You're just gonna sneak lace and up my leaf booties and going for the sneak of my life Beverly Bjorn bev just all the hell. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you why don't you do like baby bonding? So like expose your chest so that you guys can I just need content hey but if you need a permahog just let me know I heard on feels marginally better for having skin to skin contact

I wonder is there any sort of just like aura I can bestow upon him that would like ease his pain I would mind if you're a pug to be general paladin aura probably makes hard one feel a little bit better. Okay. Okay, you know what, that's how I'll make you, that's how I'll make you both invisible. We're gonna come in for a deep hug,

and then we're all gonna weep together, and my tears will make you invisible. I fucking love it. I would like to channel the good vibes of Palor. Ooh. Into hard one at this moment. I would like to channel the courage of Malora and her embrace of the cycle of life and death into hard one.

You don't really care about the trials and tomorrow. On the rad attack. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, I'm sorry, just in case you need to kick anyone's ass. Two drinks minimum. Okay, so you guys are about to leave the boat. Are you taking like your equipment? Are you leaving the dagger with Boundor? What are you guys doing? Well, I think we want to get the dagger I did, so we would have to bring it with us. Okay, let's muscle up, let's take all our gear.

Okay, so you're taking like your ax and Rosaline and all that. Yeah, cool. Oh god, Gemma Gemma clip it everything on No, I kiss the axe Actually, you know what I don't I want the last thing I kiss to be my beloved So balnor is gonna go on a little sneak mission to Papa you Papa salutes you guys,

him and Balnor, sneak off down the dock. Okay. And then we are on route to minerals, minerals. Okay, so these guys are- Absolutely, sneak. These guys are invisible. You do see, it's early enough that there are some people that are still out,

but it's very cold here, obviously, not that many people like fucking hang out outside at night. I'm a hugger, shadows. You see, you know, the glow of fireplaces and stuff inside the different houses and the residential poor parts, rural parts. All this hig. But there are iron dwarves going about, so Moonshan, go ahead and give me a stealth check. You've got your stealthy boots on though, so give it with advantage.

Do you think we can make them malfunctioned by teaching them to love? 21. 21, okay. Even though Robo Dogs don't catch you. Wow. Do we need to roll or burn to roll? No, you guys are invisible.

You guys don't need to roll. You guys are out on these big wide streets, but moonshines kind of Catherine Zeta, Jonesing Jonesing between the buildings. Always, always y'all. So you guys get to um, minerals, gems and geodes and around front, uh, you see that, you know, it's like a jewelry store. So there's usually like a, a glass case, but now there's big metal grates that have been pulled down to protect it. And you see that the front door is made of very thick metal and there's like a keyhole. There's a keyhole is there. If we've been to a place before, can we

misty step into it? I believe the languages that you have to see it. Okay. Well, the metal is all the it? What if you could peek through? Oh, so that you could peek through? The metal is all the way down. I mean, you guys can go investigate to the levels. I mean, what if you peeked through the keyhole? Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Very interesting. Yes. Okay, you know what I'll do for that? So a keyhole is obviously going to be pretty hard to see through. So I'll just let you do a perception check. If you roll well enough, I will allow you to misty step through the wall, essentially.

So that seems better than gaseous form. And gaseous form is always gaseous fun, but. Oh, I could turn one of y'all into gaseous form. Ooh, do me. Okay, I'll put my hand on hard one. Are you sure about that? Oh yeah. And I turn them into gas. Okay.

So that you can go in through the keyhole, and then I myself use a third level spell on a second level misty step, because I don't want to see that. Okay, go ahead and do a perception check to see through the keyhole. Some of the steps. I'll, you know, I'll case the joint.

You'll just like hide and guard. You can kind of hide in the alley between the buildings. 20, not net. Okay, so moonshine. So before I say before hard one even goes in the door, moonshine you peek through the keyhole and you can just barely see inside that there is some movement

in there. There's something patrolling, something unnatural, like some kind of little robot guy or something. Oh, wait a second. Do we even want to do this? Do we even want to go in there if it's yeah, if it's a security if it's a security guard Should we are you in though like did you miss? He did you actually before she was looking through the key. Okay. I'll say that

Okay, so there is some sort of security system in there. Yeah, The question is, do we think that more and might be in there? It seems like if the security is on, then probably not. Can we climb up on the roof? Yeah, or should we do that? All right, let's do it. What do you want to do? Actually, why don't y'all climb up on the roof because you're invisible so you can do better stealth checks?

Because I might be a loud climber. Cool. All right, it is two stories tall. and you do see that on the bottom level that's actually, that's obviously where the shop is. There's these metal grates that are down, but on the second level it looks like it's glass. Give me a climb check. Or an athletics check.

17. 17. Cool. You successfully mosey up there and on on the second story, you see that there are these thick glass windows. Obviously they know that somebody could just come up into their apartment and just like punch through the window and get downstairs.

So this is like a very thick window. And go ahead and give me a perception check. Nat 20, baby. Woo! I see somebody in the bathroom. You see? Describe their anus to me. So this is like a thick kind of foggy window, like one of those ones where they're, you

know, they don't want anybody to see inside. Like a hotel shower door. Yes, exactly. Oh, okay. So it looks a little foggy. But you are so fucking pissed that you climb up there and you're like, if this motherfucker had anything to do with it, I'm gonna find him and I you come up there and you're like, if this motherfucker had anything to do with it, I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna kill him

and you're looking in and you see. Wait, sir, focus. You see this little patrolling clockwork machine. It's got shredded tires and it's wheeling around this little like living area, this apartment. You see that there's, that there's like a little reading chair and some bookshelves.

You can't see all the decorations or anything, but you're like, you got your eyes right up against it, and you found a part that's a little bit easier to see through. Can I, am I still on the ground? Yes. Can I go around to the back? You wanna go to the back, sure. Yeah, I wanna see if I can see

through any windows over there. Bev, you sneak around back, and you can assume that this is where the workshop is, because you guys walked back there, Oleg took you back there to meet Moren the first time you met him. You see a wagon back here filled with debris and garbage from Moren's workshop. Back there, there's also a thick metal door. You know based on the layout of the building when you guys walk through it the first time that his workshop is on the

left. There's no windows there, but to the right there's a window with like a metal cage around it. Can I see in that window? Go ahead and give me, actually you're a little guy. You're a little fella. Yeah. Go ahead and give me an acrobatics check guy. I'm a little fella. You're a little fella. Yeah. Go ahead and give me an acrobatics check

to try to like squeeze through the bars. Oh! To do a shimmy. To do a shimmy through the bars. All right, here we go. Oh! That's a three. My athletics is four though, so that's a seven.

I was gonna say shimmy, shimmy, yeah, but I guess it's shimmy, shimmy, nah. Shimmy, shimmy, nah. You have one of those terrifying little kid moments where you stick your head through some bars And then you can't get them out. Uh-oh and dad's not here to help and Bounders not here to grease the bars with butter pull you out And my stuck a seven a seven is good enough for you not to get stuck Okay, you do for a brief moment. You're, oh shit, I am stuck, I can't fit in here.

I can put yourself out. Save you. Yeah, my teen aura. One of your white heads popped on the way in. Yeah. Did I manage to see anything inside? Much like hard one looking through the window up there, it's very like foggy and stuff.

I'll say not being able to stick your head through the little cage thing, you can do a perception check with disadvantage. Okay. It's gonna be a five. You see that it's dark in whatever this room is. But if there was like a little reading light on or something, you would have a hard time seeing it

from where you are and with this foggy window film. I have a question time seeing it from where you are and with this you know foggy window film. I have a question. Okay. Can I cast dispel magic through the lock hole on this little security guy? Yes. Because you saw him. You gave a little perception check. They sent your reaction and it sounds like maybe a bad idea. I'm not, it's no idea. No, I thought I thought it was, his eyes made it look like, oh shit, you outsmarted. I thought that was, I like it.

Yeah. Okay, then. Daddy, do you want to do the one in the apartment? Or do you want to do the one in the apartment? I only have eyes on, I haven't climbed the, I haven't climbed, so I only have eyes on the first floor one. Okay. Cause I was worried I would out myself since have eyes on the first floor one. Okay.

Cause I was worried I would out myself since I'm not invisible if I climbed. Okay. Um, so yeah, I would like to cast to spell magic on the little guy. Okay. Uh, you look through the little keyhole. You see a guy kind of moving around in there.

You, you do a little beep through the keyhole. That was easy. And you see him stop moving. Oh! Nice! You know, based kind of like the way a lot of these guys work, you know from like looking at Juan and stuff, hard Juan, that he had like this arcane battery.

So you've like pulled this dude's plug essentially. Okay, our fourth floor is everyone, and I'm like, just took care of the security. Turn me into a gas. Gas time. I think you want to come down here to do that because that isn't your studio. I'm a dive off there.

I'm a dive off there. I'm a dive off there. Hard one ever so carefully climbs down the river. We might be able to just walk in now. Oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah, so many. How many more of those charges do you have? I only have one third level spell left, and it's a third level spell.

Let's still sneak in then just in case there's anything beyond the row buts. Right. Cool. All right. So I think to get in there though, I think like I should either misty step or someone's certain gaseous for him and then let everyone else in. Right. Sounds like a plan. Unless let me try the handles. It open. And it's not open. Believe it or not. Let me chicle it. Okay. Yeah. Hard one.

Jingle with it. More in wakes up. Yeah. Moonshan, please gas his ass. Okay. Yeah. Just for fun. Since I only have a third-level spell, I'm gonna turn hardwant into a gash's form. I also think he could benefit from some incorporal time. Oh, no. Oh, moonshine, you turn it into a gas and he's crying. It's raining. That's so misty.

Hard one turns into a mist, disappears on the wind, and you're gonna blow through the little keyhole. Yeah, but first I'm gonna take a little spin in the night sky. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh god, it's oily. It's just stuffed with so many bogears. Beverly's definitely one of those kids that walks around and they're like, pfft. I'm curling you in that. I'm super sniffly today, so it totally checks out. So hard one, you turn into a gas, you go through the keyhole.

You enter the jewelry store, you enter minerals, gems, and geodes. You see that the display cases all have thick metal around them, these big garage door type protectors have come down over the display walls and the cases are all protected with thick metal and you do see this one little clockwork dude, this little robot guy with shredded tires, and he's got this big arcane battery that looks like a gem in the middle of his chest.

It's purple, but it is not like lit up or anything. And he looks like this like little golden bug guy. Scarabesque, he goes on how much I like Scarab. Oh, God damn it. He's a big gold scarab, and he is stopped. And you do see in the back, you hear the sounds of buzzing and little explosions, and you see a red glow under the door of somebody

like working. Hard one, by the way, you are no longer invisible because Gash's form took concentration. So, you know. But he's gassed, right? We're sitting with caution. Yeah, but whenever you decide to rematerialize. Moron doesn't seem like the sort that would note his gassed.

Yeah, I think that we can, I think we can still sneak in. Yeah, if he is tinkering, then why don't I become, I'll turn back into a man and open the door for you guys. Okay. We're gonna sneak under, we're gonna open it. So we're not even gonna lift the grate fully. We're just gonna like lift it enough so that we can like judo roll our beef.

We both do cool rolls. I still got a door for nidge many times. You said that the gym was purple. Yes. Do I see any corresponding purple gyms to try and deactivate the whole security grid? You do not. You guys kind of get the sense from that

they kind of like work like individually. Okay. That they're almost like batteries. All right. So there's not like an R-C. They're like room bus. Security room bus. They're security room bus. Even room bus have a dock though.

Oh shit. Got it. Yes! Where's the dock? I've been really in Caldwell with that. You find the room. My dock is very hairy. Okay, so hard one.

You unlock the door from the inside and you open it up for your friends and Beverly and Moonshine enter. I definitely do like a pose. You do a pose. I do too. Do we pose back to back? We pose back to back and then we look at hard one

and we're like, oh sorry. Sorry for your loss. Sorry, almost smile. I'm not there yet. We're gonna try and keep it light. It's gonna be goddamn hard, but we're gonna try. Anytime, anytime hard one turns around, though, we do the back-to-back pose.

Yeah. Just try to get me to laugh. So far, I'm no. Okay, yeah, let's sneak over and see if, I mean, if he's just at work, though, we're not gonna over here anything, in which case, I may have to just... Be horny. Be horny. Be horny.

Operation horny fiance. Keep it in your back pocket. Also a condom. Yeah, let's sneak over to the door. Okay, so you sneak over to the door and yeah, you hear, you know, sparks fly in and buzzes and little explosions and stuff of somebody working on something. Do you think we can open the door without yeah you hear you know sparks fly in and buzzes and little explosions and stuff of somebody working on something. Do you think we can open the door without them noticing? There is an iron door here. Oh it's an iron door. Is it locked? You haven't tried it yet.

What do y'all think though about? Well you said that there is security upstairs too. So there's no point in like sneaking upstairs. Yeah. I don't have any third-level spills left. I mean we could try like manually disabling them, but I don't know if that's gonna be a good idea. Do we just raise down on the floor and see if we could peer through the the the you said we could see the red light. Yeah go ahead and do a perception check. Yeah. Under the door. 24. 24. Okay, you don't see anybody patrolling in there and you can see you kind of go all the way over to the left side and you see in the right corner of the room are you know some work boots. You can assume that that might be more and just one pair. So we're not going to catch him doing anything but we can just try to talk to him. Yeah, I think that may be our only option. Should we knock on the door?

I guess, right? I don't see what I mean. Here's the thing, what if we knock on the door and we've just got that dagger right in front of us? It's risky, but he's gonna wanna talk about it probably. We just show it to him. This is insane. This is not necessarily a good idea,

but if we just show it to him, we'll insane. This is not necessarily a good idea. But if we just show it to him, we'll get the most honest emotional reaction. That's very true. What if he has a button that just calls a shitload of iron dwarfs and they come and murder us? It's true. Well, we'll need to restrain him very quickly then. All right, y'all.

You know what? Why don't y'all just hide a little bit and then all have the first interaction with him and then you guys will jump in pretty quick. I can also prep command so that I can just get him to obey us. Wait, do you think you can hear us under the door? Because if I think, yeah. Then I'll just cast command under the door because it's as long as you can hear me that

I think that it'll work. Yeah, because then we'll have an iron door separating us. We've established that you guys have line of sight on him. All right. Cool. Well, I guess I like get down on my knees and press my lips to the threshold. Oh, young bed.

It tastes so bad. Just like you instantly get acne around your lips. Just oils. Why is it greasy? Yeah, and I cast command. What kind of throw does he do? My one word Command, oh, it is a wisdom. Okay, our boy Maura doesn't seem like the smartest. He's got to be playing Street Smarts.

He's actually an intelligence guy. Yeah, let me see. My guess. He rolled a dang three. What is who are Command? I'll just say open? Because it has to be a one-work command. Okay, okay, okay, just yeah, so you say open you guys see His feet stop under the door or Beverly sees it at least unless you guys are all comically kind of laying on the ground looking down here Oh, he definitely is warm. Okay, you see his feet turn around and he starts walking over and Mauren opens the door.

Ow! Yeah, he opens the door. It bashes you in the face. He's this frizzy hair dude with scars all over his face. He only has one eye and he's wearing this like dirty robe. And he looks at you guys super scared and he goes oh no why did I open the door? What are you doing here? So you get in here.

Your fiance is hot for you. Yeah, more and there is a... I was at this party, something bad happened, made me think about life and whether or not and how short it is. Give me a perception check. It's a booty call baby. 21. 21.

I will say that this is so absurd that he's only he only a little bit believes you even though you got a 21 Still you got how did you you got the horny and you came with your friends? Why do you how did you get into the store did all like did that idiot forget to forget to lock the door? Yeah, it was wide open wheat till we closed it for you though. It's such a moron Oh, like it caused me the moron, but he's the moron. You're so rad, baby. I love you Yeah, I guess I love you too. I love this we're her cheerleaders. We're here to watch you have sex real good Yes real good. I just take out the knife and show it to you. Yes, bloody knife. What? Who did you make this for? He goes, I am not the salesman. I put gem into dagger. Oleg sales it to someone. So would Oleg have the receipts for who bought this specific dagger? Oleg.

As your fiance, I just want you to know that like I'm sort of traditional. So I come from a place where the woman does the book keep in. So I might as well start tonight. Right. Very traditional woman. Very hot. Very hot. Why does it? Why do you bring bloody dagger here? What have you done? We didn't do anything. Do you tell him the truth? Yeah, possibly not. We're running out of options here.

It's like we can just kill him pretty easy. We're a opposing sports. If we need to. Yeah. I think we just tell him all. I think we're too deep. Cool. You only get so deep before you got a dunk your head under. I'm standing're too deep. Yep. You only get so deep before you got a dunk your head under.

I'm standing by the door. Yeah, someone got murdered with this knife, and it's a friend of ours, and we just want to know who did it. And it looks like some of your amazing craft work. And so we thought maybe you would recognize your own work. So you found one of my daggers at the murder scene? Yes. Correct.

You're with us so far. He's going to do a sleight of hands. Go ahead and give me an opposed dexterity check. Who's hot? Moonshine. Ten. Ten. and opposed dexterity check. Who's a moonshine? 10. 10. You see, he grabs the dagger, holds his hand up to the wall and melds into stone.

What? Disappear into the wall. Sorry, cannot be incriminated. Hey, you stop. I start knocking on the wall. I throw a javelin at the wall. You throw a javelin at the wall. You throw a javelin at the wall It just bounces off the stone

Wait a second. I'm screaming in torfen. Do you crave in son of a bitch? Come out of the wall and talk to us like a man. Come out of there You are going through one's old egg. Here's upstairs. He's going to send down his a rubit I don't know how you got the rid of my rubit. Morin Let's this is gonna come back. I live in the well now with this Dad I'm gonna call the wedding if you don't come out right now You know what I think you're not the very good fiance. I don't not to love you anymore We had you you bring the This is already come out here and face me like a man right now. I cast compelled dual

Do you have to be able to see him? Oh? See within range. Damn it. He's in the wall. I start peeing on the wall. They're not urinates. Yeah, fuck you. He honestly can't even see you. He's just like in the wall.

Are there any like, I don't not see anything, but I hear piss. So wait, how does, how does, um, meld into the wall work? Is he just in the wall? Can he move? He's just in the wall. He can't move. He's just in the wall. Alright bud, we're gonna, we don't gotta be where to be.

I'm gonna rifle around in his uh, workshop. Do not smith surrounding my word of shawl all your gems. You're gonna steal my gems? What's this journal? Do not read my journal. Oh wow, you have a lot of wives. I don't, I have one wife who does not like me very much. Oh yeah, I'm seeing these are all potential wives.

That's weird, but that's real weird. You're weird. I live in this wall, go away. All of you go away. Oh, all right. Tell you what, the person who died was very important. We are going to go tell everybody looking for this murder weapon that you're holding it inside this wall.

Your house is going to get surrounded by iron dwarves. They're gonna wait you out. Who are they going to believe? Very important member of Vincero family who didn't go to party, so not very popular. It's got your signature on it. Yes, exactly. That is why I have it in the wall.

I'm cleaning it in the wall. You can't move in the wall, man. I'm just stuck in the wall. As soon as I get out, I'm taking a in the wall. You can't move in the wall, man. I'm just stuck in the wall. As soon as I get out, I'm taking a clock to this. Ah. Aww. I don't even know if you could talk in the wall with each other, but it's so much funnier.

I'm just really yelling at you guys. Like a fucking cat trapped in the wall. He's behaving like a fucking teenager. When that come out, we're just trying to find out who killed her. We're not trying to incriminate you. fucking cat trapped in the wall. He's behaving like a fucking teenager. And when that come out, we're just trying to find out who killed her. We're not trying to incriminate you. If anything, we know you didn't do it now. So come out and help us find out who used your weapon for evil. I mean, lots of people use the weapons for evil. That is not to my fault. Oh, you sound like some kind of

That is not my fault. Oh you sound like some kind In my libertarian nose nose don't kill people find complicit see here What's it gonna take for you to trust us? What what can you do for me because right now these seem like all bad things Granted um, you've been on a ship. I Would take an airship Yeah, no, no, this is for like a long time flying. Long way trip on up. Not round trip.

Come out of the wall and you can have my airship. I don't believe you. What about like a fast pass situation where you can go on the air, you can go on the airship first, whatever you want. What if we kill someone for you? Jesus. Would you? I'm just giving it a shot.

Would you, I hate the old egg. Will you go upstairs and kill a leg for me? I'll kill a leg. What? I fucking hate minerals. I mean, just, do you think a leg was involved in this? Do you think a leg would have a reason to kill the pale princess? Oleg's no assassin, Oleg salesman, Oleg sucks.

Oleg doesn't know what he's doing. Okay, well, if you're gonna go wait in the wall, I'm gonna go look at the receipts in the front. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's cool. Okay, you go through and you go ahead and give me like an investigate check. Can I also do one?

Can I just pee in his workshop? Oh, yeah, you can just piss on the ground chair. Great, thank you. I know it's been a while, but I definitely do have a book for being merit-bedg. What's my investigate? Oh, it's zero.

Nine? Nine. I'm gonna say with a 13 and a nine, you guys aren't able to find like, uh, like a ledger. Oh, man. Can we just take them then? What are you gonna take? The, all the receipts. There are no, you don't find the book. You don't find like a, you don't find, oh, we don't even find a ledger. Mm-hmm. Um, dude. Should we kill, uh, Oleg? Okay. I would prefer not. I know. I feel like we don't, we're already potentially wanting for one murder.

I don't want you to kill Oleg, I just don't like him. Tell you what, I'm gonna kill Oleg if you don't come out of the wall. I don't, I mean, I don't care. I'm gonna kill him. This is quite so awful. All right, you know what? I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up.

I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up.

I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up.

I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. I'm gonna go wake up. So he thinks I'll left. Go ahead and make a deception check. Do we all need to or are we hiding? This is just the deception check. Okay. He can't, I mean, he's not in a great position right now.

He's just like surrounded by stone. He rolled a goddamn one. So yeah, you slam the door, you pretend to leave. You guys wait just kind of silently for like a solid 25 minutes. All those getting fucked up with Janet. Just like, stand there for a while. Suddenly, uh...

The rear report's board is honestly, do we even want this, like, weapon back? Yeah, because it's got my beloved blood on it. Okay, so first... Yeah, blood's important. Okay, okay. More and suddenly appears back where he went. And he's like, jump on him. We jump on him. We jump on him.

We jump on him. Okay, go ahead and give you a grapple. Oh no, you lied to me. 20 for me. 20 for you. Okay. Yeah, you guys all just pile on him. Like instantly just jump on him.

Okay, okay, what do you want? What do you want? God, let's just tickle a merciless on that. The air. There you go after me. Oh, yeah. There you are. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so what is the giant? Yeah, oh no, no, no, hard one's not smell. Okay. What is the gem in this dagger mean? It has poison in it.

The blade becomes poison. You can activate its magic. It's like the way your blade has fired now. Would Oleg know who bought this? Yeah, look. If Oleg were to sell this to someone who were an assassin or something, he wouldn't sell it to anyone important. They would send some kind of low level criminal or something. Somebody that nobody would care about or try to track down, like a dwarf in or something. I punch him really hard in the stomach.

Oh, I... And I headbutt him. Ow, stop! You're the summer dwarf. No one's strong like rocks. I live up in the ice. No, you hide in rocks. That's all you do.

You go back in the wall. Yeah, you're like sand sand dude. No, no. So, would you know who bought the dagger? There are people who will pay a premium to not to be asked questions. Yeah. Who are the crime rings in this town? If you want to find out about the crime, you go to the slums.

The nickname for that area of town is just called Frostbite. It is very nasty area. That is where actual criminals are. Iron dwarves do not patrol there as much. It's becoming increasingly clear to me that we must go to Frostbite. Yeah, all right. All right, I hate to leave it like this, but I don't know, go back to whatever you're doing. What were you working on, by the way? Oh, that was making... You ever see a teenage Hamilton into turtles? Yeah, I love that place.

You know, you know that play that came to Galator Island, it's traveling. It started here in Frostwind actually. A teenage Frosty turtles. Love it. Making some cool size. Wow. Yeah. Oh, nice.

Okay, that's, we'd like them. What? You cannot have my size. I need something from this transaction. I feel like all you did was steal. I told you, gold, I steal your dagger. I told you to go to that part of that. Good way for you in the wall.

You're going to do, hey, look, you're an hour part of that part of that. You can go through that part of that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that.

You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that.

You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of that. You can go through that part of size. You know what, I actually feel bad. You know, I know heart feelings. I know that we broke up. I take jam. Okay, cool. Oh, you're thinking my gem. Yeah, you're an asshole. You're a, you're a thief. I'm a fucking thief. You're a thief. I'm going to be ocean. You're not a thief. You're not a thief. You're not a thief. You're a gem. That is a good gem. You're a jerk. I can't have the fear. I tell his beer. Do not tug my beard, you're off jerks.

Come here with the murder weapon. As, like, come in, oh, like, did not leave door open, did he? I tell you. That was a lie. Yeah, we got you. He's just a little robot, he's not a robot, it's not moving. I goose him. Do not goose me.

I throw the jet back into his workshop. I'm not going to stick to your level. You sleep. I throw the jet back into his workshop. I'm not gonna stick to your level. You jerk. You're the jerk. The size has three points by the way. Tell me. No, just that too. No. I love you.

I tried to end this relationship on a high note. Fuck off. Fuck off you. You were a high note. No fuck off, fuck you. Fuck off, fuck you. Oh fuck off, fuck you. You were a terrible fiance. Oh, like, you suck, that's fiancee. I'm calling the iron dorks. Goodbye. Oh, okay.

All right, Ronald, I got it. You guys, to cross-bite we go. We scramp. You guys run out the door. I took his beard one last time. So we're gonna go meet Jaina at Fox and Thresh. Okay, sweet. I'm going to do a little role and see if you guys need to do a stealth check

See if there's any iron dwarves on this little stretch of street and there are not So you guys are able to make it to this more residential area So since the murder happened at the party it still has not been that long you guys like rushed the fuck out of there when it happened There was like some people gathering up there, but it's going to take like a bit before there's like, you know, iron dwarves all over the place trying to like find them. We're already going for drinks again. Right. So you guys find the fox and the thrush and you go inside. It's this bar full of small wooden tables. There are candles with thick wax melted onto the table tops below them.

There's a small bar with a bartender behind it, this old door of an woman with scraggly white hair and an apron. Next to the bar is a set of stairs, presumably leading up to rooms, it's like an inn. Mm-hmm. There are just a few drunks here, it's quiet, it's not as nice or as big as ice to meet you, the place that you guys went earlier than that.

But, and you see, Boundor is doing his best arrogant impression, he's got a cloak on in the corner with a mug and Papa's sitting next to him and he's got a little cloak on. Is Papa smoking a pipe? Yeah, he's got a little cloak on his pop-up smoking a pipe Yeah, pop-up smoking a Gandalf pipe Oh Cute gotta love Belnor that's that a bound or a bound or like Peaks under his hood to like show that it's him and he will we know it's you, but I pretend to be really startled. Oh, oh, oh, pal. Oh wow deep undercover. What's what's good here?

I just got a beer, but I've been nervous. It seems like a cider Yeah, I got a hard side of former honestly my tummy's a little upset because this has been one heck of a night And so I've just been kind of nursing it here just the one during I rub its tummy oh thank you thanks so she's not here you child duty rub the tummy of the ups stomach of a parent I'm so sorry for whatever upbringing you have I I miss Tums. You are a little Tumboy. All right, so she isn't here yet. Should we stake out just in case she comes like with someone else or if she doesn't trust us?

You know, I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna go outside and just hide around the corner so that if she comes and she's with someone, I'll have a report spores with you guys. I'll take a walk me down out there, don't worry. I'm not gonna do it cold. Okay, did take a pipe too. Did we reclaim the dagger we did?

Yeah, did you guys take it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, from when he came out. Cool. Okay, we did do it together. Let's put it back in the bag in the bag. Yeah, okay, so it's about 10.30 now. So Munchine, you go outside and you're still thin?

Yeah, I'm still thin. But I also kinda look, I'm like a crouched, but I'd like to find like a pipe or a valve. So if someone saw me, I could pretend to be like a maintenance worker. She needs a little blue hat. Absolutely insane. Just give me a stealth check. Just do something.

Can I do a performance check for being a maintenance worker? If you get caught... 17. 17. Okay. So... And I'm going to hide in a corner of the bar. And so...

You're just going to go over... You're going to also air-gorn it? Yeah, I'm an air-gorn style. Okay. The balanor. The bar with two air-gorns? Sort of my thing, but okay. I look a little more brooding though, because someone I love was murdered tonight.

Hey, you know what you have with me? You take... I need this balanor. Okay, I look a little more brooding though because someone I love was murdered tonight Hey, you know what you have it man. You take I need this bell. No, is there any point in me like checking upstairs? Yeah, okay? I go upstairs We could also just get a room and talk to her in there so that we don't have to talk in public Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll wait up in the room Have that ready to go. Yeah, you can just ask the bartender for a room. Would you like to do that? I get a room. Great, okay. So you just throw her a couple silver, and she gives you a key and gives you like a little lantern

so that you can go upstairs, it's got like a little candle inside. She lights it for you. Thank you. When it's turned on, we're going to the glows up here about midnight. Okay, so mint or no mint? No mint.

Sorry. All right. Just ask. I love you too. Good night, my baby boy. I go up. I guess I answer every thing. Cool, yeah, she gives you a key.

It says number two on it. You go up there, you see that there are three other rooms. So there's a one, two, a three, and then it looks like maybe the last one is like the master bedroom that maybe she sleeps in, remember her and her family sleeping. You go into the second room and it's this cozy little room. There's a little fireplace, but it's not lit. You can start a fire here, obviously. There's a big bed covered in animal pelt and a little bare-hide rug on the ground. And then there's one window that looks out onto the street. How bouncy is the bed? It's

pretty firm. All right, that's a bummer. One firm bed. One firm bed. I'm saying that as I try to bounce on it. One firm bed. You guys, so we'll say it's about 10 30 at night right now. You guys wait for half an hour. She does not come. Hmm. Shit. I mean y'all do we even have any other leads? The only other thing we could do is just go to Frostbite. Yeah, that's true. We could ask Balnor to continue waiting for her. It's true, we did get Balnor in a very nice room.

And he loves a firm bed. Yeah, buddy does. Good for his spine. It's good for my back, yeah. Yeah. I rub his spine. How firm is your bed at home? You know, the other place that came from.

Oh yeah, me and the wife, we got a queen. We got a California king. It's, you know. queen we got a California king it's what's California California king gays is off I recognize king but oh well we push you too hard so are you guys up in the room where you guys right now so it's 11 p.m. hmm well the bar is not gonna close for another hour so I think we should Have down the world just wait at the bar. Yeah, if yeah, Jaina comes bring her to the room and we'll be back Yeah, I think we should head to frostbite. Okay, and last down the or should if Jaina comes just bring her to the boat The room they might know about the boat. Yeah

Yeah, it's not a bad idea to have this room I don't know that I'm a storm boy. No, well, they know that you are here. They know that a hard one is here. All right, cool. And they know that strangers came on a boat. They can maybe put two and two together. I feel like it's good to have this secondary location, perhaps. Yeah.

I agree with Bev. Also, she might not want to come to our boat. That's true. That sounds a little creepy. Yeah. Does sound a little abducted. Abductiony. Yeah. Well, maybe she'll go into a hotel come to our boat. That's true. That sounds a little creepy. Yeah. Does sound a little abducted. Abductiony. Yeah.

Well, maybe she'll go into a hotel room with our dad. That's a little abducted. That sounds like we go. Bounder has an era of trust. An aura of trust. I'm going to date him, afling, he must stash your friend. I'm a dad, not an uncle, okay?

Yeah. Should we leave Papa with Bounder? Continue that plan? Yeah. I think so so cool. Wow, we're just trusting We're just we're just globetrotten tonight, huh? No, I know Gotta wear my shape ups, right? We're gonna be walking I'm not used to shoes on us. Like we're bar hopping now. So you guys exit I get a big butter beer to go Yes, of course they have butter beer. They have universal studios style butter not alcoholic butter

Oh, let's get that foamy top. You know that foamy top You come back. I love you love you pipe. I like this place. Yeah, I know every time they say I love you I'll just fall for it. I want to know that everything sucks, but like She's all right. No, I hit her too. Okay. What's why you ate me? I love you Alright, now I hit her too. Okay, what's, why are you with me? I love you. So you guys leave the fox and the thrush and you guys start heading west and now you're starting to get into the

nastier part of town, which is kind of good as far as avoiding iron dwarves and stuff. So you guys head west through the residential district as the buildings begin to get more and more derelict. The streets are mostly empty here. Save for the occasional peasant traveling between like Huffles. You see that instead of like these nice buildings, they basically go from being like perfect houses like all matching

each other to kind of decrepit houses to barely put together Huffles like pretty quickly. These are the sort of people that if I said I love you to them, they would not respond. Yeah, they might stab you in the neck. Okay. So you see that inside these huffles, you can see that there are huge fires. Like they basically just have big fire pits.

Oh, to heat themselves. Right, so instead of having like regular fireplaces, these people all just kind of gather around big fire pits to keep warm. Bev, that's our fucking inn. You can just put yourself in the fire. That's true. You will, you're resistant to it, you're not immune to it.

Oh, okay, never mind, don't jump in the fire. I'm coming into the fire. I'm coming into the fire. Here's the thing, I can do it. It will not feel good and it will hurt me. But I can do it. I'm sorry, you just, you look so suave when you do it, I assumed it had no effect.

I'll do it for my buddy hard one. Thank you. Whatever it takes. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

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promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. You guys are walking through. You see all these huffles and everything. The only real building you see here is this derelict prison looking stone building

called the Frostwind Dwarf and Edge. You see the windows are all broken and you do see a big fire burning inside. Hard one, did you get any exchange students from here? I didn't know any kids kids from this dwarf in it. This one's even harder than when I grew up in. Yeah, it looks pretty rough. And you do hear talking.

And it is like 11 or midnight almost. And hard one, you know that like you were not allowed to be fucking up late. Lights out at 6 p.m. Hard one, do you have like a code word or some sort of like dwarf and pride thing you could use to curry favor with them? I was thinking we could,

I was thinking we could pretend to be the ice cream man. And get them all to run out here. We never had that. Oh. Frost went to our must love ice cream. That must be like soup to them. They're just freezing. Yeah.

The soup man. Yeah. They would like that. Yeah, The soup man. They would like the little soup man. Yeah, the Greek we at the Greek we had the gumbo man. Yeah. He came around. Gumbo man. Yeah. I saw him while we were there. Yeah. He's wow. He just keeps that soup everywhere. Huh? Comes in. It comes in 12 different gumbo flavors. Yeah. A lot of pockets full of soup. I thought that was a weird way to carry it. But you know, what are you gonna do? He got one of those photographers vests with tons of pockets. Anyways. Oh, good times, I missed that place.

I know. I think there's no reason that there should be any sound coming from this building right now. Right. Okay. Should we check it out? Yeah, can we like just case the building?

Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead and give me, do you want to be like stealthy as you walk up? Yes, okay, go ahead and give me a stealth check This is the casing episode Damn, that's good shit. That's some 20 that's a 23-inch. Okay, 21 21 13 13 okay, let me do a perception check for just one person because it's only really one person looking okay So you guys are able to kind of sneak up, bevs kind of hide and behind, hard one in moonshine.

You guys sneak up to like one of these broken windows and you look in and you see that there is just this big fire pit in the middle of the room and you do see that there are bunk beds everywhere. Basically looks like a gymnasium like lock-in almost where all of the kids are in one room. It looks like it is not cared for at all.

These children are just kind of running wild. Your kids are running a muck. You see that there are kids, like, you see that there's one, like, kind of older teenage girl, dwarf, who's maybe, like, 15 or 16, is, like, feeding, like, scraps to, like, a couple little, like, toddlers. But there are, like, 10-year-olds toddlers, but there are like 10 year olds like running around like wrestling and stuff. There are like 45 or 46 kids in here,

just kind of like running around. There are some kids sleeping, but these, there are no parents. And you're saying that this is a place where kids rule. This is a place where kids starve and rule. Y'all, let's go get a bunch of food and just like make them dinner. Cool.

Oh, that's your classic move. Let's do it. Moonshine Deluxe. It is quite late. I've been nice and heck. Where are you going? I know how to talk to these kids. I'm going to go inside.

Okay, you go inside. Yeah. You see the kids. Let's all go inside. Yeah. The kids look fucking horrified. There's just like this human and this elf and this halfling of running and you see the one teenage girl looks and goes We do not have any money. What are you doing here? I didn't come for your money

Yeah, I came to play catch them I started running around chasing the little kids tossing them up. This is a dwarf in the game from the dwarf in it Awesome the kids are fun. I'm not even gonna make you roll a performance egg or anything the kids are psyched to play Catch you like when you try to catch the littlest one. Oh I'm for you. Oh, I'm a little dwarf. He's got like a little beard Catch you catch you. I'm going to jump over the fire because nobody is Little beard. I pick him up and make them pretend to be an airplane. Oh, this is fun.

And you see that one teenage girl dwarf comes over to you guys and goes, Did someone send you from the king? The king. No, does the king send a... No, nobody sends us anything anymore. Why? What happened to your master? Oh, the husband and wife who rent door finished, they died.

Well, the man died two years ago and the woman died about six months ago and so we've been just living here. You guys don't work anymore, huh? No, I mean, we worked to I eat rats so I kind of work I work to feed the kids and stuff the younger kids you know I'm an adult I'm 14. Oh yeah yeah totally. Where are you keeping all the rats? Because I mean I could make you some jerky and that would last you. If I had a rat right now I would eat it. Okay can I try and find a rat right now, I would eat it. Okay, can I try and find a rat? We have some food on us, don't we? We must have some food.

We have food, that's good. All right, kids, show everybody. The kids are around, they just start eating, all of like the little snacks and everything. I mean, yeah, I got ritz bits to give them for sure. So why do you come to the dwarf image so late at night? I grew up in a place like this. What is your name, by the way?

My name is Hard One Surefoot. Hard One Surefoot. The Baster Fire Deep, maybe you've heard of me. I, I don a place. What is your name, by the way? My name is Hard One Surefoot. Hard One Surefoot. The Bassner Firedeep, maybe you've heard of me. I don't know, I've never been tired. It's okay, everybody I am deep, no it's okay. You are very tall dwarf. Yes, yes I am. Tall dwarf.

Tall dwarf, tall dwarf, tall dwarf, tall dwarf. Tall dwarf, tall dwarf, tall dwarf. Tall dwarf, tall dwarf. Tall dwarf, tall dwarf. They start dancing. My name is Katia. Katia. Yes, I am the care giver here now. Katya. Yes, I am the caregiver here now.

I am an adult, I am 14. Hiya, fellow adult, I'm Beverly Toggle. Very nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Do you have 39 children that you are responsible for? No, but I got a bunch of dads. Oh, I would love to have a dad. Tell me about it. Just one dad. I can be your mom. You could be my mom.

Yeah. You could be my mom. She's going to dead. Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to be rough at it. I could be mom. You could be my mom. Yeah. You could be her. She's going to be our mom. Yay. She's going to be my mom. This is not what she signed up for. Can you summon your spectral pop-out to give them some milk? Oh, shit.

I don't have a second level of healing smell. Anyone need to be healed? I can heal. Yeah, can we like tend to them a little bit? Yeah, sure. So you guys kind of take some time. Some of these kids have like cuts and bruises and stuff like that.

Especially when I was chasing around. So why do you are chasing a fell and he burnt his face in the fire? Ow, it hurts. But they do this every day, it's fine. Can I make balloon animals using minor illusion? Absolutely. All right, cool.

Can I make a performance check? They're already super, they're super side dead balloon animals. That's a one, but it's not really all it. Great time to waste the one though. Yeah. That is a 16, 17. Okay, you make some rad-ass balloon animals.

You make like little dwarf in carts and swords and stuff like that. I want, I want an X like big dwarf. I want an X like big dwarf. Okay, that's carts and swords and stuff like that. I want I want an X like big dwarf. I want an X like big. Okay, that's twist that like that. Oh yeah. Yes. Okay, it is made of pig intestines. So be careful. Oh, I'm going to eat that. It's an illusion buddy. Oh, no, sorry. A tease. I'm so hungry. Can I be like hunting for rats so I can try and make them like some rats ishimi? Yeah, I mean you're a druid. I'll do, if you wanna do like a nature check, you can probably hunt rats a lot better than these kids can.

Yeah, can I do like some kind of like, see if you can find a rat signal to like get the rat. I want you to just do like a religion check to have like Malore help you summon some fucking rats so you can make him. All the rats come out of hiding. I have two zero to religion. Okay, what wisdom then, you can do.

I'll just let you do a raw wisdom check. 19. 19, okay so I'll say moonshine kind of goes out into the alley, puts her hand up and calls upon the power of Melora, you glow with this green energy and you feel the wind whipping around you. And you see like five pretty chunky rats run through. Start like sniffing at you. And I just say, and I just say sometimes death is the best gift we can give.

And then I just behead them all and chop them up like she's me. Yeah, and then I feed him to the rat. You make some rat, she's shooting me. The kids are super pumped. And you guys all have. And I like present it. I'm like, Juro. Dreams of shooting.

Dream of rats. Hey. This is the best looking rat I have ever year. Don't be afraid to try the brown. Great work, moonshine. Never bring papa here. Why? I point to the mouth.

Oh, oh. Oh. Papa's the farthest thing from a rat. Yeah, I mean. It's pretty scrawny. Yeah, this is a good point. Oh, I see. I lead a class in POSM appreciate.

Oh, okay. Never eat one. POSM is their poison. Is it like a cat? Yeah, cat. Yeah, okay. Never eat one. Last time they're poison. Like it's like, yeah. Katya? Katya. Yeah. Katya, we're looking for some bad men who might have. Oh, the bad kids?

Yeah, we're looking for the bad kids. What do you know about the bad kids? The bad kids left the door for an inch when the adults left. The bad kids live near the cemetery now. What makes them bad kids? They do bad things and they work for bad people to give them money. How old are they? Are they adults like you or more adults than you? They're teenagers. Some of them are a little bit older than me.

Some of them are younger. But I try to get the other 10, 11 year old kids and stuff not to go, but the bad kids go on adventures and make money and do cool things. Everybody want to run around and do the bad things. And that's something for Brad. All right, Katya, I'm gonna spell this out for you. I'm not gonna go after a bunch of teenagers. Who are they working for?

Cause I can't attack some dwarf in teenagers. My fists are clenched, I can fuck, I can fuck teenagers. You can fuck up anybody right now. It's fair game for me. Oh yeah. Who is paying them multiple factions or is there one main family that does it all? They got assassins, they're hiring out assassins.

The only person who I still talk to there is my brother, Joris. He sometimes comes back and brings us money. But he does not tell me, he just says that there's a boss and that they work for the boss. So if we go to the graveyard, we'll find Joris. If you go to the graveyard, you'll find Joris and the other kids. Let's go stealth up on the graveyard.

See if they're talking about that murder they just committed. What's murder? What's happened? Nothing. You know what, fuck it. You're an adult. The princess was murdered. The princess of Iron Deed. Oh, I am very sorry to hear that. Thanks, kid. Was she your friend?

More than friends. Oh. We were borderline official. That's cool. Yep, we're just letting him have it. Yeah, obviously. Yep. I'm sorry that you lost your official girlfriend.

She kissed me right on the lips right before. Did I tell you guys that? I think I did. No, I've been given you space. On the lips, huh? Right on the lips. Cool. Was there tongue?

It's a musical mouth. It's a musical mouth. on the lips, huh? Right on the lips. Cool, was there tongue? It was trying to not dignify. Yes, yes, there was tongue. A lot of tongue, I like read it though. We're about to hear. We're about to hear him. I did not know why you're talking about this at a duodenage. Sorry, kids, cover your ears.

Hands on my ass. Oh, wow, good for her. Yeah, it was hard. Just to be clear, this person was murdered. Yes, wow. Yes, and that's very true. I mean, everyone, everyone, she probably wants to be remembered this way.

And I know that I would want to be remembered this way. We all agreed. Yeah. All right. Should we head to the graveyard? I guess so. Yeah, let's let's stealth over the graveyard. Yeah. Um see if we can We're very careful. They're very nasty. Very nasty teenagers. We get up to some nasty stuff. I shouldn't have said it like that but we do Okay, no bad. Don't be shy. We nasty. It's true. We are freaks

Okay, no, Bev, don't be shy. We nasty. It's true, we are freaks. You freaks. You fed us rats, yeah? Has anyone a little worried about this dwarf image, like whether or not it could be some sort of mirage or not mirage, but a front? Not a front, but like a decoy or something like that. I think you're just thinking about sucky-bye again.

Yeah. You're right. You're right. We'll trust hot people out of bar, but not children. Well, should we? I mean, we could do a, I mean, you could get a sense, do I get any evil sense? There's certainly not like, they're not demons.

They're not like radiating evil. I guess I was saying like, are they going to sell us out the second we leave? That's what I mean. Right. Well here's what you can talk to her, do a perception check. All right, are you gonna sell us out the moment we leave?

I'm not going to sell you out. What are you going to, I got, I got a Nat 20 on that for some reason. And that's 20? You can see that she's nervous and that she doesn't like these Kids that are working for this boss, but she goes I Don't want my brother to get hurt. Okay. We'll do what we can to protect your brother But he helps feed us yeah, and he'd mix up with bad kids and bad people

Yeah, we know it's not the bad kids fault. They're just caught up in something bigger than that. I tell you what, we're gonna go investigate. Whenever we sort this all out, I'm gonna teach you how to summon rats and make rats a shimmy. And then you're gonna be able to provide for yourself. You won't have to accept this dirty money. And I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to your brother.

Remind me his name. Joris. Joris. I'm just gonna give you some money. Thank you. I mean, that would be wonderful. Yeah, why are we fucking around the bush? We have a lot of money.

I'm gonna give you some. I'm gonna give you some money. Don't, yeah, if you give these kids fucking 10 gold, that's like amazing. I give him, I give him 20 gold. You give him 20 gold, Ben. That's a ton of, name of, name of, wing of the orphanage after me. Carp my name and in that bed. We will go up and change the name of door Beverly door

Maybe we don't have to put your name on it. I'm a philanthropist. Yeah, now says Beverly's wing over this very dirty hallway Okay, I don't know if you want to claim ownership over That looks kind of like the timeout bag. Bed bugs start crawling door to here. They're called bed bugs now, thank you. Box, bed bugs all the way. Ben from Moran now. Yeah. All right. Let's go to this.

Thank you very much for your generosity. I'm really, yeah, we'll be back though. We'll be back. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. But also, I want to get you out of the cycle of needing money. So I do want to teach you how to summon rats. If you'll never feel hungry again. Actually, I've got a lot of valuable life skills.

I think I can see. Yes, ideally we could just convince the king or somebody from, you know, to send us money or something like that. We'll work on that. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but whenever someone gives you money, suddenly you owe them something.

Don't you want to be out of that system? Yes, I want to not live in a giant fire door if an age with 45 other children. I see that moonshine is like pulling out a socialism pamphlet. Push it back into your pocket. It's interesting. Yes. I'm just saying, she's a good bound head.

I'm just saying, you know. Wait, are you a socialist or a libertarian? Which one are you? Definitely a socialist. I think you're like full on an arco socialist. Yeah, I think I'm like, yeah. I mean, that's how us Crick live. Yeah, cool.

I do, yeah, I put a pin in the back of my head. I will return here one day and I'll start another green teen chapter. You're like an imperialist green tea. I'm Johnny Apple tea. Yeah, from place to place. Johnny Apple tea. Spreading the joy of Polora. All right.

Yeah, I'll say I do the cemetery. Cool. So you guys continue through the ferrost bite slums, passing these other little huffles. You guys smell like meat cooking, but it's also mixing with like a burning garbage, so it's pretty disgusting smell in the air here. But eventually you do find the cemetery.

There's this big rusty gate that's been left open. It blows in the wind, occasionally crashing closed, and then knocking itself back open. Above the gate, the frost wind cemetery has been graffitied to say frostbite cemetery. And you see that there's this poorly kept, low stone wall surrounding the massive graveyard. There's stones missing in the wall. It's collapsed in a few places. And then there are these chipped headstones. And in the distance, you can see this derelict chapel with a big fire burning inside of it.

And you do hear teenagers running around and like being loud. Guys, like the skateboarding kids from Teenage Mutant. Yeah, these are the footclad essentially. Quick question, is it time for Operation Nasty Lad? Oh, I don't know if you could pull that off. I just like my hair back. I love you, you try.

Yeah. That's cool. Right? Nasty lad. Nasty lad, get in there. I flick my earring, which is the infection's still there. It's going down a little bit. I forgot.

I like that. I like that. That is ready to burst. Oh, I use minor illusion to get myself a cool haircut. Okay. Sweet. To be a favorite and stealth up to that chapel, just in case there's any interesting conversation that's happening.

Yeah, I stealth up. Okay, go ahead and give me a stealth roll. Are we rapport spores right now, too? I'm gonna say you guys have used rapport spores a ton tonight, rapport spores is out. Oh, shit, all right, cool. I got an 18. Are other people sneaking up, too?

Yeah, I guess we should all get it. Okay, everybody give me stealth checks I got 11 I got an eight and eight. Okay, so as you guys kind of start sneaking through you guys are like hiding behind graves and Do I have time to do an etching or rubbing? Sure. Yeah, okay. I do a grave rubbing cool It's where you like put a piece of paper up to a grave stone and you rub a crayon on it. They're so god I do it too. Oh you guys have The names of dwarves on some colored paper cool. Well history is important

So you guys sneak up before you even get to the chapel you see that there are like a lot of kids there you hear Routing raucous kids. And you see that these kids have black hoods on and little black cloaks and they're gonna roll. And you see two of these kids turn and look at you hard one and they've got their face painted like skeletons and they go, what the, you're doing here? Oh, hey kid, adult. Do they, uh... I wanna take, I wanna take dirt and rub it on my eyes and through my hair so I look a cool goth girl.

Do they see me yet? No, they just, they've seen hard one. Can I minor illusion myself to look like them? No, the minor illusion doesn't. I just meant like the face paint. I'll let you do an arcana check to see if you can do minor illusion because I'm gonna say it's probably easier

to not have it like contour to your face, like the face paint. So go ahead and just do like an arcana check. Yeah, I guess I can make like a skull mask. Sure. There it is. Shout out to the two crew. Shout out to the two crew.

Okay, you're still hitting because you had a good stealth throw. You do a minor illusion on your face and you look in like a little pocket mirror and you see that you look very bad. Oh, fuck, do I just look like a clown? You look like a juggalow, yeah. No. So hard one. These kids see you and the one kid turns towards the chapel and you see that there are a few other

kids I'm actually going to do. Rilla Dfore and see how many kids are like around the corner. There are three. You see the one kid goes, hey we got the visitor here. Shit. He turns towards you intimidatingly like giving this stupid teen stare as these three other kids begin rounding the corner. I guess I grab one of the kids and run. You're gonna try to scoop one? Yeah, great little shit. Okay, 14-year-old dwarf, I'm a

25-year-old man. We're not to that. I'm gonna do an athletics check as you try to kidnap the 23. He rolled a one. You fucking scoop this teen. And you are definitely faster than this other one. So you grab the one kid and he's just like, I had no, you can't do this, you can't do this. They took Gregory. They're stealing Gregory. I'm gonna rage and then, actually, I'm not even gonna rage.

I'm just gonna go out and try and scoop the other one. Okay, go ahead and give me a post athletics check. Scoop this kid. 25. Oh, yeah dude. Jesus Christ, you awesome. And then I go take off. We're like two quarterbacks just running with a little

tiny squirming football. Scoop these kids. We're like hysmotrophies. You guys scoop these kids. So I'm gonna say it's super dark out. Mochette and hard one, go ahead and give me stealth checks as you guys scoop these kids. You've out-crappled them greatly. So I'm saying you guys are just like scooping

these kids and diving behind like a gravestone. Yeah. I'm also 14. I also got 14. Okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it for a hit and twins. I'm gonna do a perception check as these guys are chasing out and they got a four so they do not they just heard their friend yell which is nothing out of the ordinary for these rowdy kids. So these kids didn't see where you went but they're just kind of running towards where they heard their friend yelling. Can I cast nature's wrath to trip the kids that are coming? Okay.

So I'll have them do like athletics trips. One kid trips, second kid trips, third kid jumps over it and keeps running. You can scoop that one. All right. Yes, Kuba, join us. The triple husband, baby. All right.

I activate my boots. I say, yep, it's Kuba. Okay. And then I try and scoop this kid. Okay, he's heavier than you for sure Go ahead and do an athletics check with disadvantage. Can I know what if you try to scoop fail then get scooped? Athletics you said yeah, it's gonna be a 10 a 10 okay this kid got a 21 Bev you run up to scoop this kid and this one kid

Bev, you run up to scoop this kid and this one kid, judo throws you onto the ground, and you guys are grappled. And you guys see, hard one in moonshine, as you guys run off with these kids, you hear more yelling as kids start coming out of the chapel. And Bev, as you're wrestling this, you're basically at like a high school party where you went to like a rival high school

and started a fight with a kid. I'm trying to steal the other team's mask. Yeah, he tried to steal the other team's mask. Scott had started to get grabbed by the typical. Bev, you see that there are like 25, 30 kids coming out of this chapel and they all start to surround you as you're grappling this one dude. And you see a bunch of them pull out like bows and arrows and the person. and they all start to surround you as you're grappling this one, dude. And you see a bunch of them pull out like bows and arrows and the person that has led.

Pull them up to you, Beverly. Kick his ass, Rodin. This kid tries to slam you. Go ahead and give me another athletic. Is this like the prison yard, dude? You gotta make yourself be alpha. Yeah, I guess I can, because you're gathering around like a fight pit you guys are in a fight pit Yeah, then I guess I'll just try and like prove my worth sure

Athletics yeah, that's gonna be a 17 a 17 okay, you are starting to get the better of this kid So you're this little half-ling and you start you wearing like like weird juggle oh make up that kind of looks like skeleton whoa whoa what who the hell is this kid? these be the thing uproading I shout out to the crowd this guy owes me money

this is between us everybody back off go ahead and give me either a performance check or a deception check come on you little performer performance this gonna be 13? 13. Okay, I'm just gonna do a perception check for like, there's like one kid who's got who pulled out a bow. When this all first happened, I'll see what he thinks. He rolls a five. So he just kind of,

he looks like one of the bigger kids and he kind of just puts his hand for the other kids to just watch. All right, I toss my weapons to the ground. Okay, you toss your weapons to the ground. You hear the kids go, ooh, kick his ass, roll the end, kick his ass. This kid's a punk, look at this sick little dwarf. What's this deal? I pop him. Okay, got him, pop him.

Making a tackle to pop him. Slug him, pop him, clock him. A 19. A 19. So I think on Armored, you just do your strength damage to him. So what is, you have a plus four? Oh yeah, plus four. You pop him for four damage, and he grabs his nose.

Oh, and you hear all the kids go, oh, I like this kid, this kid is weird. He swings back, it doesn't really get a second attack. Oh yeah, you can swing twice. I just, while he's clutching his nose. I just strut Shit, go ahead do performance jack It's a 14 14, okay The kids are looking pretty ant I've got the two copper on the weird kid

Chup chup You what is that? Chup chup chup chup chup chup chup. Uh oh. Rodion gets super pissed and runs at you and tries to swing at you. He rolls a three. He like falls forward. Oh, Rodion. Oh, you're turn. Gonna keep my head on a swivel to see where hard one in moonshine are a little bit.

Sure. I think you guys have got are kind of like hiding off, right? Uh, I have Gregory wrapped up in my cloak, real tight my hands over his mouth and I'm watching Bev's fight. Okay. Yeah, I'm doing the same. I don't want to interfere in Bev's fight. This kid just tried to see, so you guys are like kind of hiding or running before. But I also want to be like, are he Joris?

No. Where's Joris? He spits on you. Fuck you. I spit back at him. He spits poison me. I'll leave. All right, I'm going to keep fighting.

Okay, cool. Go ahead and take a swing at this cool Okay, that's 11 do I what do I add to that plus four? Plus four. Yeah, okay, you hit him. He's on armored right now. Okay cool. So you do another four damage you pop him This kid I'm looking put he's got like a black guy and stuff because okay, okay. I'm done. Fuck you Dude, I don't care fucking hold me back everyone fucking hold me back Come on this kid I don't think it's not even my time just a bunch of kids are like A little bit rode the new suck man got your ass kicked dude I clap them on the back and I touch hands in oh

Okay, so you're basically you're able to heal them up to full Like yeah, it's all good. It's all good man. Well, you're magic cheap cheap You have the touch I Know how to touch hands. It's true You see there's a kind of like hush around the crowd You have been inducted Yes the crowd. You have been inducted. Yes. Have you not? You see the kids are all kind of quiet and confused. And then one of the kids leans back and he goes, we need the kid Russ Gack. And he runs off into the

chapel. Are the arrows down? The arrows are down. Okay. Bev, you see these kids kind of part and you see this dwarven teenager wearing a legit skull as a mask and he's got like all of these feathers and teeth and bones around his neck. And he's carrying this giant, like weird hooked sword. It looks like really brutal.

You see this kid with the skull mask on looks over to the other kids and he goes, he has the touch. I wiggle my fingers. He will go your fingers. They glow a little bit. He show him that you're able to do lay hands and he walks over to you and he goes,

you're not the boss. Yeah, I'm looking for him. I'm from a different crew, but I like what y'all are doing around here. Come on, follow me. All right, I like your mask, by the way. Thank you, it is a skull. I was trying to do mine like that,

but it got a little warped. Maybe you can show me? We can dig up a body and just pull off a skull. Oh! Oh, that's gnarly! Yeah. Oh wow! It's fucking dope. Hardcore, yeah.

Yeah, I don't give a shit. I don't care about these fucking people. I mean, they're dead, right? Dude, I work for fucking hell, man. They're freaking warm food. We work for fucking hell, dude. Hell, what do you mean? I mean, you work for hell, right?

You got the touch. I don't call him hell I call him by his real name, don't you? you'll said Yeah, that motherfucker. Yeah, man Damn we're hardcore I hug him I'll take you to see bus now Okay We never I'll take you to see boss now. Okay. Um, are we ever- Oh fuck, we do not have reports for us.

We're a shit. We see, we see. You are tailoring me. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Gregory, you little shit. Where are they taking them? They're taking them down into the crypts. What are they doing down in the crypts?

Fuck you, those- It's not coming in the face. Ah, why are you doing intimidation check with advantage? I just see you. It's so much weaker than you. Uh, 13. 13, okay. Oh, okay. I don't mean to fuck you. It just don't hit me. It's so much weaker than you. 13. 13. Okay. Oh, okay, I don't mean to fuck you. Just don't hit me. It's weird. You're an evil little. I'm not fuck you, dude.

Of course, I'm evil. Dude, I'm rule, man. You're fucking work for hell, dude. Don't give me a wedgie. Oh, fuck you, fuck you. They work for hell. Well, I leave me the hell low. I can't take you down there You have you know is about to be inducted and he's gonna kick your ass Well funny thing is I'm I got a relationship with George do you yeah? I got a connection to George so I'd love to see him you can't see him yet He's seeing the boss. He just did a big, and he's gonna be able to kick your ass. Well, with the big job. Fuck you, dude.

He killed the princess. He killed the princess, didn't he? He didn't do shit. She spits on you. Fuck you, dude. I don't, I can't tell where your idolatry is. He said he just did a big job, then he said he didn't do shit. He didn't do shit. I slapped him on the face. I'm like I'm I am full Batman in dark night. Yeah

They don't share it with people who haven't been inducted man So hard one and moonshine you guys are kind of like of wrestling with your over on the side, kind of holding them still and trying to interrogate them. But you do see in the background, you see this kid with this skull mask and this giant hooked sword comes out and takes Beverly and him and all of these skeleton kids head into the chapel.

All right, well, good. And that's where we'll end our episode. Oh, no. Beverly's finally joining the cool kids. Wow. Operation Radlad, we, NASA's lab. Operation Nastylad went too well. Yeah.

I'm into deep. Who's such a nasty lad now. I can't believe it. I'm gonna have to infiltrate this organization. I'm gonna go full narco. Yeah, and I'm definitely committing several different acts of child abuse. Just one on top of the other, yeah.

Yeah. What are you gonna do? All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. Head on over to patreon.com slash NADDPOD. Don't say yet to listen to our after show. Guys, hot date is on Netflix. Yeah, let's get some fun. Let's get some fun.

It's fun. In case you were wondering what we look like, you could find out by doing that. I saw it, I saw it and read it. People were like, I had no idea what they looked like. Really? If you could, there are some people who didn't want to come to the show.

I saw it as a full joke. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. That's really funny. Don't look me up on the hood. Yes. I'll never be as hot as hard one. You can Google me, but it'll only be me.

Oh, I hadn't thought of that. OK, just watch how date it's not who I am. I look like moonshine, Simon. My feet will never be as beautiful as Beverly's. And of course, check out Dropout. We've all got a bunch of projects on there. And we're in a D&D play show called Fantasy High. Called All You Want to Talk About Your Show.

Yeah, it's called Cartoon Hell. It's me and Nathan making a new cartoon every week. It's like Drawfee, but with an animated element to it. And I think it's real fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I made a show called Lonely and Horny on Dropout. And guys, you can use a NAD pod promo code

to get a free trial of Dropout Jake. What is that URL? Yes, the URL is signup.dropout.tv slash NAD pod. NADD, P-O-D, don't say. Oh, saying yet again. Call the way you're something else to plug. Ooh, that's right, there's a special Thanksgiving episode of Big City Greens airing on November 3rd, and then throughout November

on Disney Channel. John Hamm did a voice in this episode. Wow. My good friend, John Hamm. Wow, stunning. Yeah. Of course, listen to If I Were You, follow us all on Twitter, at CH-Murf is me, at JakeHur, which is Jake, at Caldwell is us all on Twitter at CH Murphy's me at jaker

Which is Jake at call the is called well at yaxford is Emily and tweet about the show using hashtag mad pod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d Oh boy We are we are Youth of the nation we are we are Youth of the nation Nasty last for life! Hey guys, it's the end of the show and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders It is just me this week, but I'm bringing the energy and enthusiasm starting with Matthew M. The Bullywug prints recently created a scholarship to help Crick Bullie Wugs get the dental care

they need. Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven, once shared a bed with Denny during a sleepover and pretended not to notice when Denny pissed the bed. J Loma 72, aka Steel Breaker, hard ones gym inspiration, not because of his body though, but because he works out with his dad. Andrew A. A. K. A. Feldspar Li-Guard in the half-elf, Feldspar is half-elf, half-frost-dorf, simultaneously hairy and beautiful, graceful, yet stout, chaotic, yet stern. Taylor Poppa VI, a legendary bard to whom no item is in an instrument, got a huge response

when they played a xylophone made of giant teeth at the Frostwin Dwarf anage, though to be fair, there in easy audience. Dylan B, a super weak wizard who wields 12 swords. 8 of those swords are made of cardboard, but still, dudes got freaking 4 real swords, and he holds them along with a bunch of cardboard at the same time. Simon W, the bootleg of Hardwan's soft loss, isn't able to connect with Dorfins quite like Hardwan can, but mostly because he grew up in a warm, loving home surrounded by friends and family. Danny P, but homie is resident artist,

painted Hardwan senior portrait at the Dorfinage, is also in the process of painting a graffiti gym memorial in Frostwind. Tom P, father of the realm, the serenader of sleeping babies, and the serenader of sleeping dwarfins, a proud volunteer at Beverly's wing of the Frostwind Dwarfinage. Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike, once made a hard citer so delicious Mord and himself said, hey, this is pretty good. I still wish I was drinking beer though. Pedro E, part of the mountain, so Pedro's lullabies are known to be so potent that they have to be careful not to sing too closely the mountain goats.

Lest they fall off the mountain. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldridge Knight, and owner of the Badger's pint in and tavern. Update, Griffin is still in a feud with the Badger but has counter sued. Papa himself has taken up the case and he doesn't take cases he doesn't think he can win. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in Bahumia, fun fact, it was partially Beardman Dan's beard that tripped those bad kids. Dan was just hanging out in the cemetery and saw an opening, so he threw his

beard out there to help our boypev. Scott D programmed the robot that moonshine dispeled at Venerable's gems and geodes is definitely going to get chewed out by his boss tomorrow. Aaron C walks around Frostwind in a t-shirt, runs hotter than even Balnor. Hermes W, the bat king, currently living at the Frostwin Dwarf in Edge. That might not seem fit for a king, but it's pretty good for a bat. I mean, he's got a bed. Most bats don't have beds. T. Alex, a nosy neighbor who called the cops on the bad kids in the Frostwin cemetery,

did have their house covered in graffiti and a bag of shit left on their ports though. Parker E. And even Radder, batter boy, then Beverly when he enters Jugglo mode. RJW, Katia's second in command at the Frostwin Dwarf and Edge currently sowing a blanket made of leftover rat parts. Spartus earned the name Spartus by getting really good at sparring. They considered getting really good at farting too, but didn't want to step on their brother Fartus' toes.

Adam R, Bohumi is number one arcane dealer. His stuff will get you ducked up and know that isn't a typo. If you take this drug, you will literally turn into a duck. Brent B. Toddalonus Magic. Not Wizard Magic though. Christmas Magic. Ever wonder how Santa's reindeer fly? It's all thanks to two very special elves named Brent and Alonus.

Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP, their health bar is always dressed to the 9-9-9-9s. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly that she never stalks the mirror image spell because she's worried she'll stab herself in the back my god. Hucy aka, Haldor frostback, MVP of the giant wars, crude on the SS stormborne and fought alongside Elias and Red. Nobody knows why a war would even have a most valuable player, but howdor earned the title fair and square and he's got the tiny fake plastic gold trophy to prove it.

Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity, when you don't think you've got eggs, but then surprise you do have eggs? That's MANY, baby! Daniel U, aka Multifor, the owner of a sweet boat that sounds like Gilbert Godfrey. Daniel's boat actually voiced Iago in the Aladdin animated series on Disney Channel, but never received any royalties because he is a boat. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, they spin at ice to meet you every Tuesday, winter wolves get in free.

Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword and never gets bored seriously to Jeff S going to the DMV is like spending a day at Nott's Berry Farm. Cutter W, a high elf dandy turned Crick a Barcatect, made the Crick's first mobile home by putting a sleeping bag in the branches of an ent. Let's sketch the escape artist, an architect who has designed over 200 escape rooms or

is their known in Bohemia, Jail's But Fun. John S. aka, Shubber the Mushroom, briefly served as a spokesperson for Mellow Mushroom Pizza, but was fired for being actually way too Mellow. Ryan M. A Superb buff sorcerer known as the Muscle Mage, they hold their wand in between their massive pecs and bench press, huge cursed tomes. Alain Acy was kicked out of Galatoron by the Chosen after trying to open a sex positive boutique in Ezra called the Kinky Kanku. Andrew M, Mordyns talking Anvil, known across the land for their famous catchphrase,

your accent for it. Ricky, aka, tricky Ricky of the Cricky actually really good friends with Kid Cuddy, but would never name drop him, even if it came up naturally in conversation. Ricky respects their friendship too much for that. Andrew R. The only dwarf and at the dwarf inage in Iron Deep to never get caught during a game of catch-um. Cannibalistic Cthulhu were a formed demon who is currently trying to get their GED in Esri.

Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, has a drink for every occasion, even losing your beloved childhood girlfriend to an assassin after finally reconciling. Victor T, Boundor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, especially angsty now that his mom has started dating again and swore to himself he'd never call that Mr. Vaughn Hindenburg, who's always coming around dad. Henry A, a fighter fighter, which is a fighter that took five levels of wizard just to get the third level fly spell. Lance W, a scam landscaper, aka scam-scaper, who uses minor illusion to create beautiful mirages that

disappear as soon as their truck gets out of range. Just in eye, the Iron Dwarf who has argued that their broken windows form of policing isn't as effective as integrating themselves into the community throws a monthly barbecue where Iron Dwarfs and the Poppilus can mingle. Caleb is a warlock from New Jersey, so you know, a Wurlock. Part of a secret society called Bridg and Tunnel, which meets him in Manhattan on Friday nights to discuss dark arts over stole blues. Clayton Mamm, a claymation Dalmatian, once a close druid friend tried to awaken them, but alas, they are more clay than Dalmatian

and it couldn't be done. TJM, the Tin Jawed man, a barbarian who doesn't have a glass chin, but honestly it's not much better. Slug super hard, but can't take a punch. The professional, the only lawyer to ever successfully beat Pop-On litigation, got so deep under Pop-Os for Pop-O literally ripped out his shoulder pads and threw them at the professional. Jacob C teaches physics at a high school and go later on. C, in a world where magic is normal and everywhere, physics is totally rad and exotic, all the most popular teens join physics club.

Elena M. a mudboarding cleric who heads the mud patrol, which is responsible for saving any mud borders who have mud boarded into a tree or broken a limb. Gone off, the most scathing, but also the most respected, yelper and bohumia. If gone off goes off on your restaurant, you might as well shut your doors and call it a bust, famously took down the beloved restaurant, McQuannels. McPucks, the codemaster who created our amazing website, Malora Shines, on Implor, bows to him, more to make him a special accent, if you can believe it, ill said, menom once at a party and was super intimidated, so didn't even try to talk to him.

Erlin, Kathleen L, the Frostwin power couple and philanthropists that spend their thanks giving, delivering spatched cocked and stuffed rats to the slums. Dylan M, the necromancer who is currently embalming Gemma's body for entomment. Jive G, a saxophone playing bard who is literally the spinning image of Rob Lowe and St. Elmos Fire. If you don't know what we're talking about, go watch the saxophone scene in St. Elmo's Fire, that's Jive G. Corbin A, the funniest guy in Frostwind once got out of a J-walking ticket by making an iron dwarf laugh.

Atlas, capped in the rival ship to Elias Stormborn, the HMS Storm Reaper once beat the SS Stormborn in a sky-raised race during Galatoron Yacht Week. Jostritch, Bahumias Sartorial Ostritch, wearing a trim fit European-style suit from Joss A. Bank, this classy ostrich is the talk of every pub throughout the realm. Cameron Mickey, aka Cam Mix, E, Invented Mash Shups, and is getting filthy rich off a pledge allegiance to the boy remix. Yel drag the Kirk of Frostwind and yes that was a growing pain reference. Cameron C, a talented mortician who is preparing Gemma's body for her funeral after she was cruelly killed by Brian Murphy.

I didn't write that one. PJW played the deck of many things with all the cards face up and still chose to get trapped in a gem. He was like whatever, what's the worst that could happen. Today he has been trapped in a gem for 1000 years. Dem Yel R. When the Guardians of the Dwarf and Edge left, they organized the most insane game of capture the flag the realm has ever seen, with no adult supervision the game lasted a month, and a few kids almost died.

Quentin J came up with the bar name Ice to meet you since then he has a list of 100 clients all waiting for him to come up with a great pun for their bar but the pressure is getting to him and he slowly losing his...wait? Have a cold one, that's something. The bastard of Norvija. Norvija has no idea who his father is but knows for certain his mother was a fjord. Jeff of the North. Sworn enemy of Jeff of the South. Sworn enemy of Jeff of the South,

casual buddy to Jeff of the East, idolizes Jeff of the West, to all the other Jeff's Jeff of the North reign supreme. Joshua S, a very successful realtor and frost wind, all of his clients by the first house they see, because every building is exactly the same. It's really easy and he gets a sick commission. Dom R, florist at frost wind,

who makes floral arrangements of dead twigs and frozen roses, aka, roses was supposed to be the florist for Gemma's wedding, but will now decorate her lonely tomb. The grave might say something like, here lies Gemma. She loved hard one a lot and she Frenched him before she died. Jeremy B. Tought the bad kids of the Dwarf and Edge Karate, but Rodion said he didn't need Karate because he could kick anyone's ass, I don't even care, fuck you, turns out Rodion was wrong.

Logan C, after the band of boobs left Smuggler's Bounty, Logan C quickly began owning at every gambling event and his close to putting the island out of business, the pit bosses are very concerned in thinking about tossing him out. Baby Doc, the youngest doctor in Bohumia, he's 23, which isn't crazy young, like he did graduate very early, but is not doogie-houser level, still impressive, and he has a babyface. Jennifer V has the most vicious V in Bohemia, legit, it teased Olcop's V and said some very nasty things about its character. And finally, Colin G taught the emotionless dwarfs of Frostwind, the meaning of love.

Colin is the reason they're so forthright with their emotions these days, and I am also forthright with my emotions because I love all our listeners and all of our Patreon subscribers. Guys, head on over to patreon.com slash nadipod to listen to our after show and we'll be back next week with another episode of the show So we'll see you on a Thursday. Thanks everyone. Love you. Bye That was a hate gun podcast