Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 43: Feeding Time (The Frostwind Chapter)

Episode Date: December 13, 2018

The Band of Boobs travel with Bastion through the gnoll tunnels, aka the gnoll holes, and run into some trouble along the way. Moonshine goes for a dive, Beverly gives a certain beastly gnoll... a makeover, and Hardwon competes in the greatest strength contest of his life. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Prey Don't Stand a Prayer" by Emily Axford."Yanoba" by Emily Axford."Trust the Gust" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:08 That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamaneeve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Bahumia. Humia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure, foot. Emily Axford. Ming Shan Sabin. Tundra Trollop.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Oh! Yeah, we'll take that and called Walt Tanner. Beverly took all the fifths. Snowboy. Oh. Yeah, I'll take that too. Yeah, you know, you know what I'm just gonna be. You know what I'm just gonna be.
Starting point is 00:02:06 C plus and B minus. I won't tell you who got what. A ton of control is really good. Honestly, that's like one of my better friends. All right, in A, you got an A. You believe me in to give a UNA. All right guys, let's do a little recap. So last week you guys traveled into the valley
Starting point is 00:02:21 of the frigid death along the way. You almost lost Beverly's ram, ram Daniel to a snow-covered pit, but then spent a good 10 minutes of air time saving him. Well spent. Yep. Immediately after that, you were ambushed by frost-nose, but beat them handily. Still, their blood lost in dedication to feeding Yanoba, aka the purple worm that lives in the
Starting point is 00:02:45 valley was disturbing to say the least. You traveled until you reached the main knoll tunnels and spent the night with quote unquote friend of the winter wolves Bastion, a big ol' disgusting knoll and blowhard who could offer you passage. Bastion showed you his wares, all of these mistreated, beautiful gifts that had been given to him over the years by people paying him as a guide, and you guys offered up some of your own stuff for his service. A few platinum, the water titans tried it, and hard ones last bit of arcane.
Starting point is 00:03:16 I regret giving him that. Bastion then led you into the Noll Tunnels aka The No Noel Holes, where the noles weren't quite as respectful to Bastion as he might have led you to believe. Along the way you witnessed a Yanoba feeding ritual, where a nole with war paint summoned the beast to eat a sacrificial nole, sending the beast surrounded into a bloodlust. The painted nole then confronted Bastion about leading so many guests through the tunnels recently and suggested that allowing so much passage might be more sacrilegious than killing bastion, the great survivor. And that's where we are now. So the no with the war paint has just threatened you. The other no
Starting point is 00:03:59 s are still going crazy with bloodlust from the feeding ritual and bastion kind of just a pipes up and stands in front of you guys and goes, and maybe we don't eat these guys, you know, you know but just date maybe she's full. And the war paint no interrupts. I agree. The mother-wern lusts for sweet men. Honestly, I'm pretty spicy. I gotta be honest, I'm a sweet, veal-o-featherly. Bastion grabs you and in a panic whispers desperately, hey man, maybe we don't bring up how sweet we are, huh? Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Bastion has this little moment with you guys and when you turn back around You see that the war paint noll is just staring at you with unblinking eyes Bastion kind of just laughs nervously and goes We'll be on that way then Cheerio Bastion begins to kind of push you and hurry you out, but the noll calls out from behind you I heard you out, but the no calls out from behind you. Careful out there. The caves are long in the winding. And, um,
Starting point is 00:05:11 you lose your train of thought there. The caves are long in the winding. And if you're in there for a long time, maybe you know, but get fuck you, fuck you. He gets, you see, he scrambles off into another little tunnel. You guys see that bastion is very rattled by his interaction with this guy. All right. Y'all, what do you say we cast a little pass without trace?
Starting point is 00:05:37 It's not smart. I'm not sure. Perhaps it takes some cover from these prionial eyes. You read my mind. All right, let me up. Even you. I might leave. What?
Starting point is 00:05:51 That's it? Not that I care, but you know, I don't know if people are getting mad, then maybe I turn around. You know, you guys figured out. I thought that you were like the most popular guy in here. I felt like a million bucks coming in here with you. Yeah. Yeah, you're the Holy Survivor.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Yeah. Yeah, you're the Holy Survivor. I'm not personally scared right now because I'm the one with you. Oh, dude. Me big scant. Why would I be scared, man? Dude, that word was fucking horrifying.
Starting point is 00:06:20 You're saying you looked at you. Yeah. And was like, no, I can't win that fight. And it just fucking pissed out, man. Yeah, yeah he's like, no, I can't win that fight. And it just freaking pissed out. He's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, I feel great. Bye. Okay, we're going.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Yeah. Let's do it. You can do it. You wouldn't have any kind of spell that gives someone courage. I have heroism. Oh, and Bastion tells you guys that this guy's name is Deeprag.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Deeprag. Deeprag is a... Deeprag. It's name is Deeprag. Deeprag. Deeprag is a... Deeprag. It's a quite zealous follower of you, though, but if you will, should show my respect to all the survivors, though. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I was relieved that you didn't pop him right then there.
Starting point is 00:06:59 I could see the restraint in your eyes. You see him looking over his shoulder and just looking down tunnels and making sure no is this thing? Yeah, well the freaking popped a bit That's too bad, it's too bad If I couldn't go guys so quiet, we'd be so glad that's just, oh the popped in if I could You guys saw that when he, when the other guy ran off, he ran like a fucking wolf
Starting point is 00:07:21 Just got down on all fours and just like sprung forward into some tunnels and Bastion just like hobbling along with you guys So Bastion you guys have like sufficiently kind of shamed him into having to act tough, but he looks very scared So Bastion puts on a brave face and continues to take you through the tunnels, you pass menacing knolls who don't break eye contact with you. The path is constantly changing because they're based on unopest movements. So Bastion takes a few minutes here and there to try to figure out where to go, but eventually finds the path. A couple times you feel tremors and stuff, and you hear explosions of like, you know, it coming out of the ground
Starting point is 00:08:07 in the not so far distance. And Bastion just kind of laughs to himself and he goes, he seems like the deep reg might be trying to make things difficult for us. Can I? Can I ask a question? Yes. I'm a little confused because I thought I had heard that the worm only feeds that night. Weren't only feeds that night outside because noles feed them during the day.
Starting point is 00:08:33 So the noles keep them at bay during the day. But at night he's out and he causes a fright. There you go. These kids rhymes. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Days at bay. It's a fright.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Classic nole fairy fairy tale I understand right and normally Everybody kind of just lets me through but everybody seems to be a little mad that I let the small army through They're jealous. You're the survivor. Yeah, dude. You guys want to go home? No, no way cool, dude Do you want to go home? No, honestly, I'm just trying to let everyone else want to go home now? Honestly, I'm just trying to let everyone else one of the go home guys. I won't even eat your ram Let's go find the Rams. I'm worried about the Ryan Honestly, I It hurts me to admit this but Ryan's a goner Because he seemed to him. He was the biggest in the media What? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, of bark skin and a holy blessing. Snuck up into the mouth. It's just calling it like it is, you know?
Starting point is 00:09:46 I don't know, the two very distinct rams, maybe you got hunting. Just more. Especially if one of them glowed. More earthquakes, a rock hits you all the head. Tell you what, best, hash it out. Hey, if we make this through, if we make it through this, we'll get you your own ram.
Starting point is 00:10:00 We'll get you a whole ram sandwich. Oh, that's a little rammy sandwich. Ooh. So you guys continue through the tunnels. It's crazy. The straightening on right. You guys continue through the tunnels until you happen upon a huge cave. It looks like Yanoba may have very recently gone buck wild in here.
Starting point is 00:10:16 There is a big pit, a hundred feet wide in diameter that separates you from the other side of the tunnel. You can see a bit of torch light on the other side where the tunnel starts up again and Bastion goes, this was not here before. I think we're being trolled. No trolled. No trolled.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah, we're being the author right now. We're being the author. We got worms. So what do y'all want to do? Y'all want a spider climb or y'all want a gashous form? Get not everyone can gashous form if we do that. Let spider climb spider climb. Yeah, okay Let's do it quick. This worm is on the hood. Yeah, who's carrying me? me
Starting point is 00:10:59 Alright This Giants know like like 400 pounds tries to jump on you piggyback style. Okay, you know what? We'll put you with the bag. Yeah, you'll like it in there. There's a lot of cool shit.
Starting point is 00:11:12 What the bag? How do I go in the bag? Dulller? Do the hudders. All right, check it out, man. It's a pretty cool bag. Yeah, he shows it over his head. Bastion disappears into the bag.
Starting point is 00:11:23 All right, we got limited time. Okay, I can only cast it on three people, spider climb. And I can only do a one at a time. I can hang on to the hard one or... Oh, yes, I can. Oh, okay. And then Beth could hang on to me, right? That's smart, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Yeah, let's just rope ourselves onto y'all. Right, so I'm gonna cast spider climb on hard one while a ball nor is tied to him. All right. Great. Hop on, ball or play on. Is that what we say? Moonshine. Do you want to give them the the featherfall ring just in case? Yeah. Here. I put it. It's good on you. I go to put it on ball nor and he looks too excited to get a ring for me. So I do a hard pivot and turn to the forefoot. If I'm maybe at the crick, it only fits up like pinky. Lauren, it looks awesome. Whoa, pinky ring. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:11 You're like a mobster. I love it. What is the language of spider climb? Until the spell ends, one willing creature you touch gains the ability to move up, down, and across vertical surfaces and upside down along ceilings while leaving its hands free. The target also gains a climbing speed equal to its walking speed.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Thanks, you can just skitter. Yeah, I skitter. So hard one. Moonshine touches you. You feel this magic under your feet. They feel like webbing. You feel like sticking to the floor. Like your Spider-Man, can Spider-Man do that?
Starting point is 00:12:45 No, Spider-Man has webs. Buddy can walk on stuff. He can walk on walls. Yeah, he can walk on walls. He makes his own webbing, actually. There you go. Like Spider-Man, hard one, Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Bound or hops on your back, chowts to style.
Starting point is 00:12:58 It's tied to you. All right, but let's get going. You hop up and start running across the wall horizontally. I'm just gonna roll some pure luck checks to see how many earthquakes there are. You're gonna see if any rocks come down and you need to dodge. And we just point out that Balnor
Starting point is 00:13:15 is literally a dead pack right now. A dead pack. Dead pack. Shout out to the two crew. So I'm gonna need you to make a dexterity saving throw as you get about a quarter of the way around the room running sideways, like Sonic the Hedgehog with Boundor.
Starting point is 00:13:35 That's why they call it Sure Foot. With Boundor on your back, there's another earthquake. Oh shit. You're shaking, but your feet stay stuck to the wall. But if you detach you fall some rocks start falling from above you. 16.
Starting point is 00:13:51 16. Okay that's enough. You are able to move out of the way of a big boulder as it's coming right down. You duck down. It looks awesome because you're just like laying, you're like planking horizontally across a rock wall, and then keep running. 15, you're fine, 17, you're fine, 19, you're fine. Hard one makes it all the way to the other side.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Nice, open the bag. You open the bag. Ugh! A lot of fun stuff in there. Check his pockets. Oh yeah, I, I, pat him down. He has everything. He has the cursed book. He has the cursed armor. He just is like has it like under his clothes. Right. I he under all of his skin folds and I put everything back. I would buy one.
Starting point is 00:14:37 You put it back in the bag. Yeah. So real. I want that book. You don't need to talk it later. Baillor, you guard this bag. You guard this bag with your life give me that back You see Bailor gets him back in space. I Yellow cross did he shorten the bad? Yeah, it smells awful He didn't just I I freaking the Dutch oven did I touched up in the mixed bag in the Dutch oven, then. I touched up in the mixed bag.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Oh. So moonshine and Bev are over on the other side. All right, guys. So I'm gonna, what's your decks? There's no way you would carry me. That's a good idea. No, you have a better decks. So I cast Spider Climb on myself.
Starting point is 00:15:22 And I'm duct tape bib to myself great I reveal that I had duct tape all along. Oh wow Well, I'm at it. I duct tape my overall bib shut so that About Safety first pop I like to think that Bev is just like taped around the midsection and his legs and his hands are just drooped over like a baby B-R-N Just like a reverse baby B-R-N, he's just facing out. Okay, so I'm gonna roll four luck checks for you as you just ready. All righty. So you start running. Can I have like a javelin out just like slam it into a wall to slow us down? Oh, interesting. Yeah, I'll let you do that. So you gotta, you gotta javillon out.
Starting point is 00:16:05 First roll is a 12, you're fine. Second roll is a 13, you're fine. Third roll is a three. Go ahead and get me a deck saving throw. Entire cave shakes and some rocks. Don't worry, you get my, my unchoice ointment. Okay, that's gonna be 22. You need to, okay.
Starting point is 00:16:20 That's pretty dope. I'll say a rock comes down and you jump, Bev sticks the javelin in and then you plant your feet back So good stick on the wall. Can we just stay like this? I Try and awkwardly high five or backwards. Oh, sir. I got loose you from the duct tape. Thank you Balnor just quietly goes they're doing it cooler than us Shut up, Balnor and nobody does it cooler than us. Hahaha. Shut up, Bellor. And nobody does it cooler than us, okay guys? Okay boys, Rhett, we're the gang.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Bashar was shitting at the back of this point. Far thing at the back. I don't know that. Nice having eyes in the back of my bed. Hahaha. Ah, Bando, one more luck check. 18, you're good. Woo!
Starting point is 00:17:03 You make us give a sound. Do you sound like a, like a Olympic gymnast? I put my arms out up, you're good. You make it to give a sound. We land like on a limbic gymnast. I put my arms out up, you put your arms out down, we look like you're doing a cool X. We look cool stars. Yeah. Yeah. And we both look up.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Just some light clapping from Ballonor. You guys did a cooler, now. It's me and Hard one, we're just talking about it. Shut up, Ballonor. Shut up, Ballonor. Fated Hard one, we're just talking about it. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up down the way. Fated. I know, man. Those two is this guy.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Fashion puts his arm around Hard one. Me and this guy, human man. Oh, so oily. So slick. I love, I'm a human. We're like a regular spider-quin and spider-man. So you guys all reach the other side and you head off. You feel the tremors getting
Starting point is 00:17:46 bigger as you move along. You run into more nobles who call after you as you pass. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey smile I'm gonna lose my eye absolutely being objective okay okay guy with the beard smile man I think we're being dog call hey kid I think we're with the braces smile hey where's that the boss the last time I was at the rat over there you guys get dog called. Oh man. Why wouldn't I do it? Look at this, but don't get drunk. Keep looking for such a pull-prob. You pass these nolls and continue along until there is another pit that breaks up the tunnel, but this one is only about 20 feet in diameter. And Bastion goes, this wasn't the idea yesterday, but it's smaller than the other one though. Oh, does it have babies?
Starting point is 00:18:46 Oh dear little wormlings No, no no no no babies that don't know okay. Well, that's good. Yeah, that would be more terrifying Yeah, I mean I'm all in support of a working mother, but like the less worms the better I would say so let's Let's basically do what we did last time with no spider clap, right? We could jump this time. Oh, yeah, we could jump Yeah, we could just do straight up jump right well, or do we not want to waste that oh That wouldn't be wasting. I was looking at using a higher spell You can long jump your strength score like you're just straight up strength score. So like my 19 I could go 25 you can jump 25
Starting point is 00:19:25 feet because you're athlete. Yeah. Okay, what if I do this? Can I jump my 19 and then use my thorn whip to pull myself in closer? I'll allow that. Okay, cool. Then I'm gonna do that. Okay. I would like to go first because if anyone, because I can thorn whip if someone misses for some reason or falls a little short, I can thorn whip and bring them closer. So I want to go first. Okay. I'm a jump and then thorn whip to try it, like thorn whip around a thing to pull myself one foot further. I guess I'll just...
Starting point is 00:19:58 You got a shit eating grin on you and you're looking at a fucking toe right now. Nobody investigated the whole. No! We did this before. So, moonshine jumps across the whole. All right. You guys see purple-ish webbing, shoot up out of the hole. Oh, it's a spider.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Yep, moonshine. As you jump across, you see a purple web shoots out of nowhere and encases you. And suddenly below that you could not see before, you see a giant purple spider glowing with arcane energy and a pit, several hundred feet deep all gunked up with this purple web. It was invisible until you were in the web. And moonshine, you are now falling and encased in web. To the outside, you guys do
Starting point is 00:20:50 not see the spider and you do not see moonshine. She just suddenly disappears and goes invisible. I'm Rooshan. Well, I cast Freedom of Movement. I touch a willing creature, aka myself. I touch myself. For the duration, the target's movement is unaffected by difficult terrain. Spells and other magical effects can either reduce the target's speed nor cause the target to be paralyzed or restrained.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Sweet. The target can also spend five feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraint, such as manacles or a creature that has it grappled. Finally, being underwater and posting no penalties. All right, you escape. You are falling. So you jump across so we can see her now.
Starting point is 00:21:31 You guys can't see her because she has fallen down the hole. So Hoon Chai, you jump, you get caught in this webbing, you start to fall, you cast this spell, you're able to wriggle yourself free with arcane movement. Can it be like, I'm so magical that I've charmed the web to be on my side. So it releases me, because it respects me. It respects you. And you see below you is more of this purple webbing. If I had this last for an hour, so I won't get caught this purple webbing.
Starting point is 00:22:05 And this lasts for an hour, so I won't get caught in more webbing. Okay, okay. Moonshine. Oh my God, am I gonna fall right through the web? Can I grab onto something though? Like a twig or the, or can I grab onto the web?
Starting point is 00:22:21 Yeah, I'll say even if you're not restrained by the webs, you can still grab them. So as you fall, you get to the area that you know the web was gunking up the web. Yeah, I'll say even if you're not restrained by the webs you can still grab them So as you fall you get to the area that you know the web was gunking up the hole You grab onto some of the webbing to stop yourself and it feels like silk rope So moonshine. I'll say that now you're that you're surrounded by the spider's magic web You can once again see the spider again now skittering down the wall heading towards you Up top you guys see nothing moonshine is just disappeared and when you look down the hall you just see a pit. So you just gone.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Moonshine? Moonshine! Can I hear them? Yeah. Down here! What happened? Well I used a fourth level spell and now spiders webs can't touch me. There's a spider?
Starting point is 00:23:01 Oh yeah! Thank you so much. She's dead. What are you talking about? She's talking to us? No We got to leave that's ghost legs ghost legs. Yeah ghost legs. We got to go man. He's bad news. That sounds like a cool dance No, he's bad Where is he? How do we see him?
Starting point is 00:23:20 You can't see him. All right Moonshine hug the wall. I cast moonbeam. Bev, I'm gonna say since you're shooting blind, you're gonna need to give a spell attack roll with disadvantage just to see what you're able to hit down there. So that's plus four, 10.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Cool, so the beam comes down, moonshine. You suddenly see this glowing radiant light shoot down and start breaking up a bunch of the web Making the area you're holding on to a little less stable everybody real initiative. Yeah, okay. Yeah, let's just roll into it Let's get into it right if I'm still falling though. I have to do not falling you're hanging on to the web okay 13 10 9 can we see the spider? You guys can't see the spider 10 9. Can we see the spider? You guys can't see the spider
Starting point is 00:24:13 Moonshine you can see the spider because you're in the web that you see this big purple spider to you when like you're invisible because of somebody else's spell You probably don't even know that you're invisible We can't see you guys just look down the hole. There's fucking nothing. And Bastion goes, eh, when I see another people going visible, they get, when they do something or they attack, they come out of invisible, but not this guy. Okay. He, this is a real sucky riddle. This purple spider comes forward and bites at you with these giant pincers. Yeah, bring it on, come on. He hits one deed. Actually, he's's gonna do very little damage to you Because he's in ghost walk form and that means he does less. This is from cobalt's tomah
Starting point is 00:24:51 Cobalt presses tomah foes by the way hey, thanks cobalt. Tom. Fuck you. Oh, yeah Go swak spider everybody. Um Mochang go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Oh This is bad. I need luck Got a six. Okay. He does 13 damage on the first hit. Okay. And then he's going to take another swing. And he misses on the second attack. You're like fucking, why can't I think of Sam's name right now? Sam with Danji? Yeah, you're freaking Sam Gangey right now. Getting grabbed at by the spider's pincer and you're just scrambling out of the way,
Starting point is 00:25:28 hanging onto the wall, hanging onto these hanging webs. That is Bev's turn. All right, can I cast Detect Evil and Good? It's probably not an aberration celestial elemental fey fiend or undead. It is not any of those things. Cool.
Starting point is 00:25:45 All right. Um, hmm. Well, cool turn. Okay, that's, uh, hard one should have actually gone before Bev, I messed up, but it's fine. Hard one, you go after Bev. So hard one is your turn. I low five Bev.
Starting point is 00:25:57 I, I'm just gonna run and jump into the hall. Ha, ha, ha. Okay. Mocha is down there, she disappeared, she's out, it big spotted. I guess I'm just gonna run and jump into the hole. AHHHHH! Okay. Mochins down there, she disappeared, she's out, big spider. I guess I'm just gonna run and jump, swing my axe over my head, hoping to chop us, spider. Okay. Can I see this and be screaming so we know it's like where I am?
Starting point is 00:26:18 You jump down the hole, you don't see shit, it just looks like you're falling, you're swinging the axe down. I'm gonna give you, okay, so I'm gonna say you're probably jumping away from the moon beam because you know they're not there. Yes. So you're jumping to the far side, kind of like near where moonshine was. If you're gonna jump down blind, give me a pure luck check. One through five, you're gonna fall through the weekend web. Six through ten, you're gonna land on moonshine. 11 through 15, you get an attack with disadvantage on the spider and 16 through 20,
Starting point is 00:26:47 you luck out and just get a regular attack. Cool. Oh, just rise it. Just rock. 13. 13. Okay. moonshine, you see, hard one has jumped off and is falling and is just kind of swinging his acts wildly.
Starting point is 00:27:00 You probably thought they might have come like 20 or 30 feet ago. Where are you, You cowards? He falls down. Go ahead, man, right here, right here, right here. 13's not gonna be good enough for you to land directly on the spider, but you're kind of in the general area. Go ahead and make an attack roll with disadvantage. 20? 20.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Wow. 20's. Not now. You hit this thing. Yeah. Oh cool. Cool. Yeah. What sounds dispirers-be-hiss? Yeah. Wow. Who would have thought the answer to the puzzle was jumping? 15 damage. It's the only thing I can do. 15 damage. You slash down, listening to Moon Shine's voice where she's yelling. She's probably directing you a little to the left As your feather falling down you have enough time to kind of you kind of swim you like swim through the air Oh, yeah, like you're pumping my legs For no reason you swing down and you do successfully hit this thing you see for a split second
Starting point is 00:28:03 This giant purple arcane spider up here. Oh, I saw the bug. And it looks at you, just as crazy, pincers. After hitting him, you keep falling. You fall in this purple web, and you get wrapped up in it instantly. You're like stuck there. Cool. And you're stuck in this web.
Starting point is 00:28:22 I'll say you're not fully restrained yet, because he hasn't wrapped you up. But you're stuck. You could still swing your axe, but like your body is in in this web. I'll say you're not fully restrained yet because he hasn't wrapped you up, but you're stuck. You could still swing your axe, but like your body is in this fucking web. Sweet, I could swing the axe, but not like with the full force of my legs. There you go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:34 And Moon Shines hanging next to you. And suddenly you see the spider now that you're touching the purple web. And you see Moon Shines as well. You guys are all in this little world. How's it going? This looks like a little bit of a bastion. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:45 More oil, Stu. Kai's swimming back, is that the time to? Oh, yeah. Must have been a second. Yeah, cool. With disadvantage? I'll see with disadvantage, because you're in the web. So that's gonna be a 13.
Starting point is 00:28:58 13 does not hit this spider. As you swing, but he's able to skitter away. That is, Moonchine's turn again. All right. I'm going to cast Fairy Fire on this fucker. Yeah. Okay. That means each object in a 20-foot cube which is our the shape within range is outlined in blue, green, or violet light, your choice. Let's go violet. Sounds nice. Any creature in the area when the spell is cast is also outlined in light if it fails
Starting point is 00:29:30 a dexterity saving throw. For the duration, objects and affected creatures shed dim light in a 10 foot radius. Any attack roll against an affected creature or object has advantage if the attacker can see it and the affected creature or object can't benefit from being invisible. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Okay, deck saving throw. I'll roll it in front of the table. He's got a plus five deck. Thank you. He's very decked. Oh, that's... What do you get? 15?
Starting point is 00:29:57 So 20. So he saved. So he has his butt. The web suddenly appears. Oh, that's good. And I appear in a hard one appears. Yes, that's good. And I appear in a hard one appears. Yes, that's true. Like ghostly forms of that.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Yeah, ghostly forms of that. So you see lines over them. So, oh, Jay! I wave at them. Oh, that's nasty. And then, at the bonus action, I want to go into a rage. Okay, sweet and tight. That is Balnor's turn.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Balnor looks over the edge and he goes, wait, Balnor, maybe you should keep an eye on our guide so that he doesn't run away if we all jump into the hole. Not a bad idea. We're back in the back. Get back in the back, buddy. Ballnor uses his turn to throw the bag over a bastion. Oh, that's a good good ease in there. Good on you, Ballnor. go for a bastion. Oh, that's a good goodies in there. Good on you, Belnor. That is back around to the spider. He is going to use a bonus action
Starting point is 00:30:52 to go out of his invisible state, because currently he can't do full damage on his attacks when he's invisible. So he comes out of being invisible. So now, Belnor, Bev, everybody up top can see this purple spider. And you also see the terrifying vision of this purple spider walking across its web
Starting point is 00:31:08 and biting at a near defenseless hard one. Oh, tank. Oh. Ah. Glad I jumped. Hard one, a bug. Super hits on the first attack. Oh, I hate spiders.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Go ahead and give me a constitution saving third and not be poisoned. Cool. Also, I get an advantage on constitution saving. Oh, was I poisoned because I failed my constitution saving throughout before? You just took the dammit. Oh, got it. I should mention, by the way, that when I tried to cast Detect Evil and Good, the Moonbeam
Starting point is 00:31:37 faded away. So, the Moonbeam's not there anymore. Cool. Okay, you guys do see now that you've outlined all of this face stuff in the area or all this magical stuff in the area, you do see that there's more webbing below. So even if you fall, because you guys are in a pretty tenuous position,
Starting point is 00:31:53 hard ones almost like mummy style, hanging on the side of the tunnel as moon shines hanging on. If you guys fall deeper, you're like more fucked spider wise, but you might not die from falling. Cool. That's not a sense. Is there a giant magazine in the bag of holding?
Starting point is 00:32:07 Oh, look. OK. The Bastion has already stolen and soiled the magazine. Oh, I got a 21 for my 21. 21. OK, you pass. You only take half. Woo.
Starting point is 00:32:19 No poison. No, he does take some poison damage. So you take nine poison damage and then another 18 damage. So 27 damage total. Yout. He takes a second attack. Shunk. Any crits?
Starting point is 00:32:36 I'm sorry. Oh dear. Go ahead and give me a constitution. Mr. Surefoot. Go ahead and give me a constitution to save me through. Patchable pass. 23. 23 is going to pass.
Starting point is 00:32:46 42 damage of normal damage. Oh my God. And then poison damage is going to be halved and another 20 damage of poison. God damn. You up? You still standing? Barely.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Hey you up. 20 damage was halved. 20 damage was already halved, yeah, because he crit. So he didn't insane amount of damage. Is your second win or something? Ooh, yeah, yes. That is Beverly's turn. Okay, the webs are outlined.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Yes. All right, well let me cast Featherfall and then I'm going to try and line up my shot. I'm gonna get my javelin out and I'm gonna try and just like plunge down on the spider. Okay, falling through the webs. Sweet, it is out of invisible. It is on top of the webs near Moon Shine where the webs have been broken up a bit with the Moon Beam,
Starting point is 00:33:33 so you can get a direct attack on them. So just take a regular roll attack. Okay, cool. Ooh, 18, 18, 26. Yeah, great. That's going to be 11 damage. 11 damage on my first attack. I guess I'll do a divine smite.
Starting point is 00:33:49 You can do a divine smite on the javelin. Yeah, hell yeah, why not? Okay, yeah, go ahead and roll your extra damage. Okay, that's going to be... So I heard this, Biter. I'm gonna do it, you know what? What the heck? I'm gonna do a second level divine smite.
Starting point is 00:33:59 That's 3D8. Hell yeah. So Bev comes down, feather falls down, falling 60 60 feet per round floating down like a beautiful boy angel Spear out. Uh-oh you're coming with radiant energy Here comes terminics That's seven damage another seven damage. Okay, uh You still have yeah you You still have, yeah, you puncture this, puncture is carapace. You see, you start bleeding this weird purple, do I get abdomen or thorax?
Starting point is 00:34:32 You get thorax. Hell yeah. You have a second attack, I'm gonna say you can choose. You can either try to grab onto the wall as you're second attack and knock it caught in the web, or I'll let you do a second attack and keep falling and you'll fall into the web. I'm gonna do a second attack. Okay, sweet, just a savage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Does 19 hit. 19 does hit. Woo, all right. I'm using my sword this time. Oh sweet. Yeah, you javilant down into him, swords out in the other hand, swinging down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:02 That's going to be 12 extra damage. 12 damage. 12 damage, nice. Cool. And's going to be 12 extra damage, or 12 damage. 12 damage, nice. Cool. And then Bev falls down in this web. And he crashes from a pretty high distance. Moonshot is hanging onto it. Hard one's already in it.
Starting point is 00:35:16 The spiders on it. It's already been like half destroyed. Pure luck. Let's see if the web holds or not. Somebody give me a roll. It should not be me, I'm very unlucky. One through five, the web breaks, and you guys keep falling down.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I haven't been wrong well on this kind of shit. Do I get a, this is just raw? This is just a luck. This is just to see if they don't. Could hard one use a luck point? No, I don't have a damn it. I'll go for it, okay? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:43 12. 12, you're good. Yeah. Babe, you crash into the web. You get caught up in it, you're all stuck. But the web holds. Caught up in web, caught up in a web. That is hard ones turn.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Your back is caught up against this crazy purple web. It's all wrapped around your legs. You can either swing your axe with disadvantage or you can try to bust out and grab onto the wall, but you can't do both. I guess I'll try to get out of the web and it'll all be fine. Yeah, okay, a strength check.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Merriff, how beautiful is this spider? He's pretty beautiful. Yeah, he's sparkling. The image is quite wonderful. And magic, does it have a face or some sort of distinct pattern on its abdomen? I mean, it's thorax. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's got like a little yellow markings.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Ooh. Like a real purple and yellow, like a 21. You know, 21. 21, 21. Yeah. So you just, ah, flex your leg muscles. A bunch of the webs burst around it.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Get hold my legs. And you grab onto the spider and use them as leverage and grab onto a rock on the wall and kind of pull yourself over. So now you're like bouldering on the side. Go ahead and just give me an athletics check to hang out on the web. It's not fall back immediately. That's another 20. Awesome. Using your tiny little finger muscles, like hanging into the rock there.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Just so you can see like hanging into the rock there. Just so sinewick up against the rock, you are now out of the web. That is Moon Shines turn. Wait, can I use my action surge to take the deck? Yes, you can. Yes, you can. From my bouldering stance, I'm going to swing my axe.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Sweet, yeah, you're hanging out with one hand, and just one hand with the axe. That's a, I'm going swing my ass. Yeah, you're hanging out with one hand. It just one handed with the axe That's a I'm gonna use a luck point. Okay There we go. Yes, that's a 26 that's super hits 12 damage 12 damage fuck this bug fuck this bug up Don't like me up. How fuck does the bug look a little fuck? All right the second one's gonna miss 13 13 Does miss yeah, you're you're swinging the gray ax with one arm probably having a little too much fun being like yeah One hand in a two hand who's a bad now?
Starting point is 00:37:59 Can I use a bag? All right, can I do second-win right now to? Yes Can I do second win right now to? Yes, you get a bonus action. Go ahead. This must look so cool. You're just trolling out. Moonshan, that's your turn. All right, I'm going to attack him. Unfortunately, I'm not in a fungal mode because I didn't have an action to use that.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I had to do very far. Moonshan, hanging by the web swing. Oh, I'm gonna. Yeah Okay, does a 23 hit super hits I'm gonna go ahead and First I'm just gonna roll my damage. Okay. I see a lot of bug fucking dice over there. You gonna fuck that bug Yeah, okay, that. Fuck that bug. Okay, that's gonna be a 18.
Starting point is 00:38:48 18, geez, he's hurt. And then I'd like to use the charge on Roseline. Ah, wait. Oh no, the charge on Roseline builds up. Oh, okay. That's not, yeah. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Damn! All right, well, I'm still gonna fuck Sporz. Okay, you spores him for another, you're not in fungal mode, so just another six. Just another six, yeah. You spit Sporz at him. Pssss. I'm so magical, don't do that to me. This is disgusting.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It's this way, but it's beautiful. I don't know why I thought you wouldn't have an accent, but obviously you haven't even known the way that I have a d. It's like a Dracula. French Flare. There too is. There too is. French Flare.
Starting point is 00:39:32 And you're a bastion of, I have lots of French friends. Hi, hi, hi, hi, yeah. Franco Russian. Yeah, that is Bapabalnor's turn. No one can see this, but up top, Bastion is like moving around a lot in the bag, trying to steal shit and everything in Boundor is so diligently like poking at him with a stick.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Hey, hey, stay back there. We sit in the bag, respect the bag, respect the bag buddy. The silent, don't make me, do not make me get in that bag. Are you gonna make me get in that bag? Boundor's just getting in the bag. Oh my god, it will get. We also needed a T-shirt of that. Boundary saying wrist back the bag. It's back the bag.
Starting point is 00:40:10 The unsung hero. That is back up to the spiders turn. So as a bonus action, this thing goes invisible again. Hard one, you don't see it. It suddenly disappears. You guys in the web do see it, however. And hard one doesn't see this, but you guys see it.
Starting point is 00:40:25 God, the spider's gone. Some purple webbing at hard one. 27 to hit. That's gonna hit hard one. You are wrapped in this magic web and you fall back down into the web completely restrained. Let's do another role to see if the web holds. One through five. Is that what I'm holding? You want me to do it? Do it this time, yeah. Four.
Starting point is 00:40:50 Four. I shouldn't have known this. Hard one is wrapped up in the web, falls backwards into the partially destroyed web, and falls through. You see hard one, just plummets. He's got the ring, though, right? He's got the funnel. You're wearing the ring? Yeah. You see, hard one just flamets. He's got the ring, though, right? He's got the ring, though, right?
Starting point is 00:41:07 You're wearing the ring? Yeah. You slowly, slowly, hung down the tunnel. And another, I'm gonna do another, I'm sure it's fine. I'm gonna do another D100. 100 feet down. Hard one slowly falls down and gets caught in another web.
Starting point is 00:41:23 And you're just a fucking, you're in like a web cocoon inside another web a hundred feet down. Oh Moonshine and Bev give me deck saving throws to not fall. Are we close enough? I'll say Bev, Bev you can do it with advantage because you're stuck in it. Okay. Ooh Well, even without pebs or I get a 19. Okay, I got 17. Mo Moonshine, you hang on. The web is now fully destroyed. Bev, you're just hanging on. You're basically just stuck to the wall
Starting point is 00:41:52 and the rest of the web is gone and Moonshine's just hanging on. That is Bev's turn. Okay, cool. Do I have a hand free? Yeah, you have a hand free. Cool. Spiders invisible again.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Spider is invisible again. Boy, can we see it? Because you can see it because you're in the web. Yeah, all right. Am I close enough to slash out it with my sword? Yes, you're going to wall-stuff. You can either, I'll give you the same choice. I gave hard one.
Starting point is 00:42:16 You can either climb out of the web, or you can roll with disadvantage under attack. I'll roll with disadvantage on my attack. I've got to get this done. Yeah, you actually have to roll with disadvantage anyway. Yeah. Because it's invisible if you didn't pick it up. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:42:30 19. Let's hope you have to use the 19. Now I get to do a 20. 13. Plus my attack with a speed. Yeah, you'll hit it. All right, cool. I'm gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:42:39 I'm gonna do the branding, Smite. Sweet. Yeah. The way that works is next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before the spell ends, the weapon gleams with astral radiance as you strike. The attack deals an extra 2d6 radiant damage to the target, which becomes visible if it's invisible.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Sweet. And the target sheds dim light in a five foot radius and can't become invisible until the spell ends. All right, cool. So do your damage and I'll roll, what kind of saving throw was it? I don't think there's a saving throw. Oh, sweet.
Starting point is 00:43:06 No, it just works. It just works. Yeah, as long as the attack hits, it works. It's like Apple technology. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Q-ad. Hi, have you heard of Apple?
Starting point is 00:43:18 They're great. They make apps and all sorts of fun stuff. They make a little square that you can load Twitter on and feel sad everyone's more. Okay, that's gonna be 14 damage and then I do 26, I believe. Sweet, this dude is looking very hurt. I'm glad, yeah, I hope that I just get to kill him
Starting point is 00:43:34 but that he is visible when I kill him. So 11 plus 14. So, Jesus. 25. Ah, Beverly finish him. Yes. Ah. All right, oh man, this is so great. So, Jesus. 25. Ah, Beverly Finnish him. Woo! Yes! Ah!
Starting point is 00:43:46 Alright, oh man, this is so great. So, as I slash-atting with my sword, I see the astral form of pellor holding a giant bottle of raid. I slash through and a misting arc of spider poison blasts out alongside my arc and just tears this fucker up. The bug is fucked. The bug explodes as magical as he was in life. He is just a big gooey spider in the...
Starting point is 00:44:19 Just explodes everywhere. Purple goo. Hard one you are covered in purple goo below. You're a hundred feet down, just covered in webs. Probably terrified. Bev, kill me next. Ha ha ha ha. Hold on, buddy, I'm coming.
Starting point is 00:44:36 Can I try and lower myself down? Just a hard one? Or like throw them a rope? Hard one, while you're down there, you can smell burning coal a little bit. Like a little bit of like sweet meat. Not sweet meat, just like, you smell like a fire. Below you, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Interesting, very interesting. Hey, I'm gonna pull you up, nothing interesting. Nothing interesting down there, right? I whisper this a little bit. I think there's somebody cooking something or burning some coal down here. You're just a hundred feet away in this tunnel. It's just echoing so loud.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Cooking what? It smells like coal. Hey, you guys don't have to whisper. I can hear you up here. It's loud. Oh, yeah, it's really echoing. Right. Should we try and investigate You guys want to come down here maybe
Starting point is 00:45:35 Guess can we belay using some of this webbing? Yeah, I'm wondering if I can like drop something to see if like there's a floor Hard one would need to do that because it's farther down You otherwise it'll just get caught in a hard one's weapon. Oh, yeah, it's a hit hard one ahead. I guess I'll just a spit at it Okay, you just turn you're still like all cocooned up. You turn around and... It spit some goo out of my mouth. You spit some goo out of your mouth. After a long time, you hear what sounds like some water or saliva hitting the ground.
Starting point is 00:45:59 All right, I'll check out. Cool. So up or down, huh? Yeah, balnor, let's bastion out of the bag Pat some down Hey, oh, he's got the book curse. Uh, he was gonna write his name in sync. What's ask him about the There's a cold way the what? He just got his head like I know
Starting point is 00:46:23 I love that hard one just casually. Not just probably like a little cozy, like at first completely terrified and now just in a big sleeping little way to blanket. I'm gonna catch some shed eye here. Who's burning coal down here? He, coal? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Fire giants maybe? Oh yeah. That would track you. Okay, so up, up, up, up, up, up. Can I like, repel down a little bit to try and help hard one out? Cool, so you guys all have like 50 feet of rope. You tie all your ropes together,
Starting point is 00:46:54 bound or puts it around himself and starts coaching Bastion to help him. Come on, bud. All right, put your legs into it. Take a wide stance. Take a wide stance. He ties it around Bastionion, and he hangs on, and he lowers 50 feet down, and he goes,
Starting point is 00:47:09 all right, tie yourself off, babe, if you're gonna repel. Okay, all right, I tie myself up. All right, play on. I do a tug. Is that play on? Is that what I say? On play.
Starting point is 00:47:19 All right, play on. Here we go. I kind of like jump a cross, well I guess I jump down, and then I wanna kind of like slash a cross to well I guess I jump down and then I wanna kind of like slash a cross to get over to where hard one is. Sweet, okay, yeah, Bev, you blade down. I think you're also gonna need to use another 50 feet
Starting point is 00:47:33 of rope which is fine, you guys have plenty, you guys have been adventured for a long time. So Bev, you continue to blade down, you like kick off and slash at hard ones webs hard one you are free But still laying in this sticky web. Yes, and I'm very hurt. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, obviously I touch hands I'm okay. Oh sweet. Thanks. What do you what what are you at now? How does that say it's work? I get to roll it's whatever from your pool. Yes, my pool 27 what do I get 40. I'm at 27.
Starting point is 00:48:05 What do I get? 40. So you're at 27? Let me give you, do you want 20? Do you want half of that? Yeah, 20 is cool. Yeah, and then one on I cure wounds you, just like a first eye.
Starting point is 00:48:14 You gotta touch it. I'm coming for you, Blue. All right. Yeah, okay. Are you ready yet? Are you gonna say somebody might want to help Bound or Enbash, and Bound or Super Strong. Fashion should be strong, but he's a coward. So, Moonsign, you might want to help Balnor and Bastion. Balnor is super strong. Bastion should be strong, but he's a coward.
Starting point is 00:48:26 So Moonshine, you might want to get up there with your barbarian strength. Yeah, yeah, I was going to say I still have advantage on strength right now, because I'm raging. OK, so Moonshine, you take some time. I want to even make you make an athletics check because you're out of combat. You guys were just keep falling back into the webs.
Starting point is 00:48:42 And there's no point in that because you're safe because you killed the spider. So Moonshine, you start climbing up the rocks, you get to the top, you join, bastion and balknor, holding the ropes, bev is belayed down. He touch hands, his hard one, frees him from the web. For all time's sake, can I grab one of the fangs from the spider?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Yes, you can. Can I actually just be pulled up kind of like, you know, a rescue at sea into a helicopter? I just want to be pulled up in my cocoon. Yeah, so Beth has already slashed you free, but you roll around and wrap it in a little more wet. I'm so warm. I give you a space blanket. You're brought up to the top and as soon as you get up there
Starting point is 00:49:28 Balnor puts a foil blanket around you Balmork get in some hot cocoa. All right. Yeah, it was beautiful We're losing so much it's so much like instant hot coffees like blowing out a cold cold water and pouring mix in it Is he also still poisoned? No, he's not Poison damage great. Cool. You guys are on the still on the wrong side of this hole. All right, great back into the regular plan I run it. You push bastion back into the bag after he helps you And you jump on the other side of the hole. You guys have already solved the puzzle.
Starting point is 00:50:06 You guys all jump over. I do 19 strength. I still do my Thorne whip though, just really. Oh, yeah. I confiscate all the pins from the bag. So the bastion can't write his name in the book. Oh, okay, yeah. I don't think it's bad.
Starting point is 00:50:21 I don't think my finger man, whatever. You can't write. Yeah, you're right. Or leave one in there, but empty the ink. Oh, yeah, trying to use it kind of like a punishment Like a dog chasing his tail I Guess I missed you step across because I only have 19. No, no, but you can jump and then I'll thorn whip you Okay, yeah, that's great. Cool. Yeah, Moon China is freaking Simon Belmont over here Just like whipping at people.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Ow. You're just cat, you're back. Good. Bound or a clear is it, but in like real dad style, he's just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and his heavy armor is just like clanking, running across the ground, jumps, like beautiful form, but then he lands in such a wide stance,
Starting point is 00:51:03 just like bangs into the ground, it starts to tilt back but then writes himself faces all red with concentration. He just goes, oh, there. We did go, Balnor. Yeah. Yeah. Do you really, your ankle? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:16 But you guys all make it clear. All right. Cool. I free-baston. I have a question. Padm down again. Take everything back. Yeah, cool. He's the stress. What I free-bashed. Pat him down again, take everything back. Yeah, it's cool.
Starting point is 00:51:25 It's so expensive. It's expensive. What? I'm always gonna pat you down. You put me in the bag. You put me in the bag. I take the thing that's in the bag. What do we expect?
Starting point is 00:51:33 This is my house. You want the bag of my house? That is my house. Oh, you've got the book clenched between your butt cheeks. Come on. Get it out. I don't know. Oh, it's, it's shardy.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Yeah, sorry. I don't wipe. All right, which way It's sharty. Yeah, sorry. I don't wipe. All right, which way do we go? Dutch shovings the bag you should. You should wipe. You should not be able to. I'm gonna give you this.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I don't want this clown back in the bag. I understand. This is hurtful. This is hard to watch. I give him one more handkerchief and say, this is your last one. You wipe. It's bright now.
Starting point is 00:52:04 It takes the, it's a, wife's mouth., this is your last one. You wipe. It's bright now. He takes the E.T. E.T. wipes him out. That's all is it. Everywhere. We make him wipe his ass under the threat of death. He did. We all draw our weapons. Wipe until it comes clean.
Starting point is 00:52:16 All right. That's fine. Only because I want to. Only because I want to. He takes a long time. He wipes standing up Brushes it seems strange to him like he's never done it before yeah, you can tell he's before he cuts a real superficial job Like he's like a little kitty thinks like the butt cheeks. Yeah, I was a person He's just the the whole crack. He just clean on the outside I brush his teeth like you brush a dog's teeth And on the outside, I brush his teeth like you brush a dog's teeth. It's resisting the whole time.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Good job, Balmore gives him a snack. All right, now be nice to the bag. I'm gonna air it out. That's cool with everyone. Absolutely. Yeah. It does like garbage disposal like he squeezes the lemon in there, shakes it up, just opens it up.
Starting point is 00:53:00 I got to air out the bag. Ooh, citrus. Moonshine, give him a little rosemary to put in there. Yeah, yeah, I'm mottled some herbs. Oh, this is good. This is really good. Yeah, this is nice. That's primo bag.
Starting point is 00:53:10 I take out one of those little car air fresheners. Try that. Oh, it's a little mushroom? Yeah, a little mushroom air freshener. It smells like it begins to smell like cooked mushrooms. It's good. It's good. It smells good. Airs. Hey, air. I got to go in the bag. I got to go in the mushrooms. Oh, it's good. It's good.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Rare. Hey, Rare. I got all going the way. The way that comes out. I cracked the duct tape and let papa come out. All right. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Just like insanely sweaty.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Hair so matted. Ha, ha, ha. I got a feeling you sweating in there, but I'm telling you, papa, I felt you, I felt you clawing at the bib, but I wasn't safe for you to come out. He's not even mad, he's just like insane. For being all sweaty and he to the good boy.
Starting point is 00:53:54 I squeeze some lemon into my bib because it's getting a little stinky. He just eats the whole thing and then just like keeps sticking his tongue out because of the bitterness. Cool. Just like he keeps sticking his tongue out because of the bitterness. Cool, so Bastion finishes wiping. And that was a bit of a showy. Keep going or no one saw that. We all saw it. So you go for out of you.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Thanks man. And give back his handkerchief. No, I toss him in the hole. Here, a fire giant below. What the fuck is that? Enjoy. Oh, it smells so bad. I smell it over all the burning coal. Guess you could light a match.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Oh, fuck, fuck me, man. I'm going to take a look at Bastion's ass. Just kidding, better this end. Have you looked? You have a Bastion is standing right next to Bev as you're like going in your trance, getting the healing power. Cool, so I don't know when you see that
Starting point is 00:54:49 he didn't get in there nearly deep enough. I'm like swinging the amulet around, kind of like acolytes at a Catholic church with the incense. Bastion's brown eyes, actually, what cures you. Yeah. Yeah. So you are cured up for,
Starting point is 00:55:02 you can do half your head dyes in your con modifier. Sweet. Anybody else want to heal up or anything? No, I'm gonna save it. Cool. So you are cured up for you can do half your hit dice in your con modifier sweet Anybody else want to heal up or anything? No, I'm gonna save it cool. So bastion signals for you guys to follow him All right guys, I mean I've taken you guys so far I feel like you know we've really become close in this time, you know, yeah guys getting the hang out with holy survivor We cool and we do not get attached easy. Yeah, yeah, guys getting the hang out with Holy Survivor. Very cool. And we do not get attached easy. Yeah, you know, you see he looks down and he just looks up at you guys.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Would it be crazy if he guys just didn't go and we just kept hanging out? You know what I mean? You certainly something to consider. Well, let's make that game day decision one day. You guys wouldn't even have to pay me stuff, man. We could be like pin pals? We're gonna be friends for a, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Yeah, that's like a real question. You know what it is? We're gonna want on our way back. That is not, yeah. But we'll do what we need to do. We do like that. We do like that. We do like that. We do like that. We'll place the crash man. The crash is really good.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Absolutely. We'll big chill every year. You have the coolest place. You've got a place. Yeah, you really do. Your decoration is top-not. Thanks, man. What's your favorite part?
Starting point is 00:56:15 Uh, probably your one big bed. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I love all of it. The brushes are really testful. Yeah, it's a very cozy. I like your totally real hammer. That's real. Oh, thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Yeah, King's Dambler. They're very strong. very cozy. I like your totally real hammer. That's real. Oh, thanks man. Yeah, King's hammer. They're strong. So cool. Maybe that's what's your favorite part about my personality? I gotta be your clean asshole. Yeah, that's a new real personality thing. But yeah, it's kind of physical. But we, we're right. Him real quick.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Sweet. Yeah. I got a physical, but... Quick, we're right. Him real quick. Sweet, yeah. Yeah, you fix up his hair. But more importantly, fix up his life. Yeah. It's more about an attitude, just... Yeah, I want to be the guy that talks to you about the community. You guys take three days.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Your hog smashes the gash. The world ends. But the action looks good. I'm Anthony, so I teach him how to make guacamole from sticks and rocks. Absolutely, you know that- You know the boats useless one. You know that Bev is showing him how
Starting point is 00:57:16 to get a real nice French tuck. So Bastion now has a side part and has tucked in his weird robe in some like pajama pants. Great, nice. And he knows how to make a very complicated grapefruit margarita. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:34 I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna, I can tell after you guys leave, I'm gonna do this. So we go confessional with the other noles. It don't even believe it's same guy. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud-knit fabric that looks just like khakis, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the
Starting point is 00:58:30 movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield, kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style Tumblr go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Cool. Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Cool, so as you guys continue to travel, no noles, very eerily quiet as you guys continue to travel and then finally you see the light at the end of the tunnel. But when you get to it, when you follow the end of the tunnel. You see that you're not outside. You're in this giant natural cave full of glowing crystals and geodes. It's eerily beautiful. Above you, the ceiling goes so high you can't see the top. Below you to the sides is just a big pit of nothingness. You do see the glow of like the purple and white and blue rocks. There's a bridge built out of these glowing stones. It's crude, but it's wide, about 15 feet.
Starting point is 00:59:54 And it shuts up at certain parts. It's a little ineligent, as pretty as it looks. It leads to the other side of the room where on the rock wall, you see kind of big rock handholds that you can climb to a fissure in the stone. And you can see daylight coming through that. You can see just a little bit of daylight crackling through there.
Starting point is 01:00:13 The bridge is about 200 feet across, and there is another similar bridge built higher in the cave, about 30 feet above you guys. What is that bridge connecting? That bridge connects to another tunnel up there, and you're not sure where it goes. Okay, interesting.
Starting point is 01:00:30 I mean, this room is great. Should we just Terry here? Should we just live here? It's a doll for a bit. Yeah, it is gorgeous. We can't really take it in. We drink it in. This place is kind of sucks, right guys?
Starting point is 01:00:41 I think I do like- I love the dank tunnel. You can't even smell anything in there. Your place is kind of sucks right guys. I think I do like- I love a dank tunnel. You can't even smell anything in here. Your place is way cooler. I do like the twirl of a girl in like a Christmas romcom. Just like on the first snow of the year. Or like in a big hotel room by yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Can I just do like a perception check of any sort? Yeah, go for it. That's a nine. Nine. Yeah, you can see the little fissure up ahead. It looks like the bridge has been, you know, quasi well-traveled. It looks like it has integrity.
Starting point is 01:01:21 Okay, so it's not a gash, it's just a fissure. It's just a, but it's like, it's pretty big. Okay, it's a gash. I want to also do a perception check. Okay. We're all perceiving. 18. 18. Um, we're in China. You see a little bit of movement on the bridge above you. You see like a hand of a knoll. Bash who's up there? Who's up there? Up on the bridge above us. Well, there'd be people on the bridge above us.
Starting point is 01:01:55 That's not a knoll's hand. What does that bridge up there collect? It goes to other tunnels in the... Was there a shortcut this whole time that we could have taken? I mean, there are lots of ways to go through tunnels. We're about to get ambushed. That's what's about to happen. Bastion, after we showed you how to do a French talk and make the guacamole. I didn't do- this is the way that I walked through the tunnel.
Starting point is 01:02:25 You see he starts to walk out on the bridge. Hey guys, it is the holy survivor. I, oh, that's not my so many arrows of gnolls. So gross that boils just popping as those. There is makeover. You guys see. Oh yeah, we probably lance those boils. Yeah, I think we left the boils. Fasten looks over at you guys full of arrows that he goes, I was leaving
Starting point is 01:02:53 my best life at the end. You'll always be my best friend. You're my best friend, fast. We just taught him how to voice your eyes. So happy. You see him fall off the bridge and you see all of these other nolls are emerging on the bridge. You see him fall off the bridge and you see all of these other nolls are emerging on the bridge. You see there's about 20 up there. You see the dude with the war paint from before deep rag jumps down from the bridge just as the iron man jump onto the bridge. I'm symbiotic entity.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Oh, that is very interesting. I think in the bow will enjoy the rooty taste of youth sweet meats. We're not sweet. Y'all know mushroom eats sweet. Uh, yeah. I eat mushrooms all the time, and I'm not. But very thick, huh? Do you?
Starting point is 01:03:39 You don't know anything about food. You're not cultured like our friend Bastion was. Yeah, you couldn't make guacamole or macaroni and cheese. I'd love to see you make a bruschetta. I love how quickly you guys came around on Bastion. You see deep rag just spits over the edge. I don't care about what kind of things your stupid friend can make. I know plenty about food. I always feed my mother when and right now it's feeding time.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Suddenly you guys feel trickles of blood coming down on you, raining down on you from the bridge above, and you hear a rumble from below. Everybody roll initiative. Oh man, don't get eaten. That'll be 20 for moonshine. A moonshine would like to go on the record saying she has a bit of reverence for Yanoba. Sure, it's a big stinky worm that ruins the earth. Isn't it a purple worm? Yeah, it's a purple worm.
Starting point is 01:04:40 You saw it, you saw it. Beautiful, I mean, that is sort of a, there's something, I don't know, there's something a little deathly. Yeah, super. That UCD brag looks at you. He's got the blood coming out of his eyes. Yeah, she gets it.
Starting point is 01:04:53 She fucking gets it. Okay, I'm not on your side. Yeah, you're not on your side. You're a big Rudy snack. You, you, you, symbiotic snack. Oh, right, I'm a huge mushroom right now. Yeah, I am a Rudy you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, That somebody wrote me a D4, that's how many rounds it's gonna take before Yannoba shows up. That's gonna be a four, Ben! Yay!
Starting point is 01:05:29 Oh my God. Yannoba's the latest hell. I felt it. I like, do you notice how? I was like, I think I'm gonna be able to nail this one. And I just fucking went for it. So you hear the rumbling of Yannoba, little further away than I would have liked,
Starting point is 01:05:42 personally. Feel like she's ghosting you guys. Oh. She's coming. Hashtag, where's the worm? She'll be here any second. little further away than I would have liked personally. Feel like she's ghosting you guys. Oh, she's coming. Hi, Shag, where's the worm? She'll be here any second. I'm just saying, if I was seeing someone and it took them four rounds to come over,
Starting point is 01:05:53 I might start to wonder. Start exploring your other options. What exactly is your turn? So you are on this rock bridge, 200 feet across, 15 feet wide, standing across from deep rag, who holds a flail made of flaming humanoid skulls. 30 feet above you are about 20 nolls who just shot Bastion, moonshine you act first.
Starting point is 01:06:12 I think I'm gonna start bringing some of them down. Cause I don't like that they have this distance on us. So I'm gonna thorn with up one of the guys. Shit, okay. Just try and bring them down to us. You can throw them into the abyss if you catch one. I mean 10 feet of that orc. Yeah, you can hit an orc. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's what I'm trying to do. Okay. Cool. So you've got about 20 guys up there. They've just killed Bastion. I'm sure you're very upset. I do. I do. A quick abyss kiss.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Okay. You're deep within the abyss. Oh, then, Jimmy. You got it, friends. Thank you. Okay, so I am attacking. Oh, that's gonna be good. Does a 22 hit? You hit, you swing your thorn whip, wrap it around a random nose ankle,
Starting point is 01:06:59 then fling him off the bridge, swinging him into the abyss. I want to look at deep bragging, but I'm not going to be able to do it. around a random nose ankle, then fling him off the bridge, swinging him into the abyss. No! Hi, it's with us! I want to look at Deeprag and be like, see the vans? They're like my babies, and they do what I tell them. Oh, I like you, Rudy.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Rudy vegetable, good-sized fish for your noobah. You say, weird, I'm like, kind of into what you're like. You're not. It's riddled with sexual tension here. Ballor cover your ears. I never thought I'd like you. Did she like called beauty? You don't think she likes it, dude?
Starting point is 01:07:31 They are definitely flirting, bro. I feel like a cut is tension with a knife. Do you want to do anything else? That's a can trip. So if you have a bonus action spell. Okay, and then with my reaction, I'm going to spore a deep rag for 12. He still turned on. But I'm gonna do it in kind of a hot way. You nasty girl. I'm just trying to work Balnor up so he can start it's crazy.
Starting point is 01:07:52 I'm not real bad. Hey, Balnor, I think that I think this mushroom salad needs a little tuna. It's so my reaction is sporesing him in kind of like a flirtatious way and then I'm gonna bone his action going to rage Sweet so that but that's also 12 for him. Yes. Yes. Yes. He takes 12 damage is turned on by it Honestly, he's a freak he a freak You can count a lot of freaks From above on the bridge that is going to be the noal pack lords turn you see four going to be the no pack lords turn. You see four beefy boys jump down. They've got glaves, these big rusty swords,
Starting point is 01:08:30 and they are going to rush down the bridge towards you guys. Two of them will go after moonshine, and one will go after each one of you guys. They'll take a little bit of damage on the fall, and then they will attack. The first guy takes two swings at moonshine and misses. moonshine, you're in full rage.
Starting point is 01:08:48 Block it with a root lock. A blive is this gonna mean bleeding damage and shit? It is not, that's 3.5 I think. Other guy takes two attacks, fucking misses. BV boys are not rolling well. One guy goes after a hard one, is gonna hit with one attack for 8 damage. I'll make those other guy makes two attacks against Bev and hits and crits.
Starting point is 01:09:12 Oh, hits and crits, sorry. Hits and crits. So 11 damage on the first hit. That's the name of your album, hits and crits. 13 damage on the crit. 13 total? No, no, no. 11 damage on the first hit, 13 damage on the crit. 13 total? No, no, no, no, no. 11 damage on the first hit. 13 damage on the crit. Oh, oh, oh, oh, cumulative. Yes, need a 4 damage. Okay, that is the beefy boys.
Starting point is 01:09:33 We are at hard one. I'm gonna throw my javelin at the guys who are left up on the on the bridge. Sweet, I'm gonna say since since you're throwing it up, you're not gonna have a direct line unless you throw it completely perfectly. I'm gonna roll a D4. See how many guys you could possibly hit? Four, I rolled a four. So you could possibly hit four.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Let's see if I can hit him. With the lightning damage. Sweet, here he goes. Good bobbum. 15. 15 just hits. Oh! So roll, roll javelin damage on that that guy and then four guys will get hit by the lightning. Cool, watch a bastard call lightning. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, yes, I love London my die to the toes. I think they do deck saves.
Starting point is 01:10:25 They all fucking fell. Yes. 13 more damage. You toss the javelin at the bridge above you. There's an explosion of lightning as three of these dudes get singed and it hits the one in the back. So the guy that it hits dies and falls off the bridge. Hard one, I'm gonna give you a choice.
Starting point is 01:10:42 You can either take a second attack or you can try and grab your javelin and save it before it falls. Can I just grab the javelin from him as he's falling past me? Yes, yes, yes, yes, you certainly can. All right, now I'm gonna take, I'm gonna use my action surge then. Good, great. Cool, I'm gonna attack the beefy boy attacking me.
Starting point is 01:11:00 Great. So beefy. I crit on the beef. Oh, shit. I crit on the beef, dude. I'm a beefy snack for crit on the beef. Oh shit. I crit on the beef dude. I'm a beefy snack for you, Nova. You and I will be like cheese and cracker. I just feel like normal cheese and pepperoni.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Yeah, I'm a big pepperoni. Normally I really like this food theme, but it's just really grossing me out. Yeah, you little sweet tree dafters. I think I'm in the dinner, mint you, Nova. I'm like a little chocolate. He's matcha flavors. We're gonna hit him again We're tried to and I'm gonna miss that time. I imagine that's 14 14 does not hit by that is going to be bebs turn Bebs turn you got the beefy boys all up in your face
Starting point is 01:11:44 How many how many beefy gentlemen? You got the beefy boys all up in your face. How many beefy gentlemen? There are four beefy gentlemen. Okay. There's one on you, two on moonshine, one on hard one that he just heard. Am I gonna be able to sprint towards not stun Greg, deep rag.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Deep rag, yes. Without taking opportunity? No, you need to take one opportunity. The guy who's on you. Let me clear that guy off then. Great. Cool. Yeah, let me just clear that guy off then. Great. Cool. Yeah, let me just go ahead and...
Starting point is 01:12:08 Searing Smite. Okay, great. So I think you cast, yeah, you cast that before the attack. Now you attack and see if you hit. Pfft. Uh-oh. That's going to be 13. 13 does not hit.
Starting point is 01:12:21 All right. He blocks with his glaive. I have a glaive, it's a big sword. That's cool, Glaive. I'm a fave of the glaive. Oh, it does 15 hit. It does, it just hit. Woohoo! Alright.
Starting point is 01:12:34 I just have worn rags. Alright, let's see. So that's gonna be 14 damage. Great. Let me roll my fire damage, which is 1d6. Sweet. It's 5 extra fire damage. Great. Only roll my fire damage, which is 1d6. Sweet. It's 5 extra fire damage. Great.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Cool. And then he's gonna need to roll to see if he remains on fire next turn. Cool. He got a 15. What is the DC on you? It's 15. Okay, he meets it. He does not stay on fire.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Oh, I want to be a toasty snack for him, Nova. You and I, we will be four. You tasted the piece of chocolate. Me, the Graham crack. Oh, okay, can I be the marshmallow? Wait, no, no, no, no, no. This is the test kitchen from hell. That is, this is Bobby Glave.
Starting point is 01:13:18 That is, that is Deeprag's turn. Deeprag is going to run forward with his crazy skull flail and make three attacks on the shine. I don't know. First crack at moonshine is a Nath one. He messes up big time. Oh, he has just stowed it. I'm sorry, did your partner get away?
Starting point is 01:13:36 Yes, I mean, I cannot open the UNI. I'm gonna say it's nice to have someone appreciate me in my mushroom form because this is who I really am, you know. Oh, it's just like sure. But whenever I introduce it's nice to have someone appreciate me in my mushroom form because this is who I really am, you know Oh, it's just like sure but whenever I introduced it in the bedroom and like moonshine Can you please make him less horny that big red dog dick is so disgusting? No, no, no, keep, keep him going because it's getting ball nor mad and it's making him miss
Starting point is 01:13:57 Okay, he hits you. He misses you with his flail of madness, but hits you with his flail of pain that is but hits you with his flail of pain. That is nine regular damage. All right, so I'll take half, because I'm on a rage. Okay, but then you're going to take... Do I take five or four when I take half? Do I round up or round up? Four.
Starting point is 01:14:15 And then you're gonna take another 22 psychic damage. So that's not halfed. Ah! And then he makes a third attack with his flail of paralysis. Let me flail this motherfucker. That's 25. He's got like three skulls. Oh, three.
Starting point is 01:14:28 That's three smoking. Yeah, you know, you go to the grocery store, you have to get them all in a pack. I see. He hits me again. He hits you, yeah, again. OK, so that is 10 bludgeoning damage. So half to five.
Starting point is 01:14:40 And then you need to make a DC constitution saving throw. Oh, that's good though. Murphy's found our one weakness, several enemies at once. 19. 19, for a second, you feel frozen with fear. And then you realize you and this guy are kinda equals, kinda this, again, this tension, this, this,
Starting point is 01:15:01 this romance, this, oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. So cute that you tried to scare me. this tension, this romance, this electricity between you two. So cute that you tried to scare me as if I hadn't been up against some of the scariest shit y'all ever seen. Oh great, it's a neck off. Bound or charges forward. Ah! I'm so jealous.
Starting point is 01:15:20 He get to, oh my god, he crits. Yes! Oh! 19 is a Bound or crit he charted out of the jealous. He charges forward at Deeprag that is 13 damage on boundores first hit against deeprag second attack does not do it He rolls a five beef sit action surge bounders going for it. Yeah, bound rolls a five again misses Crits again. Nice, Bounder.
Starting point is 01:15:46 Wow, Mathias. Bounder's house of Chris. Watching down on you, Bounder. I miss the right crit. That was a crit sandwich, with two bites of the video. It was. 17 damage on his second hit. Deeprag looks slightly impressed.
Starting point is 01:16:00 Oh, you are spicy little old man. You, me and the Rootie routine lady we settled down and start the family Okay, yeah, no, but I'm open to none Join us polycule That is the purple worm's turn Polyamory's beautiful thing down. That is the purple worm's turn. Oh, you guys here rumbling as it gets closer ever closer Do we hear honk and in traffic? Can we hear beep beep?
Starting point is 01:16:27 That is the noles turn on the noles turn. 10 of them jump down. They're all gonna take a little bit of damage. Can they take opportunity attacks? Like when you throw yourself a baseball up in the air, you know, like I just wanna start sweet. You should know, prepare I just want to start sweet So these guys jump down there are 10 guys who are jumping down. Let's deal with the first eight first I'll say two of them go after each one of you guys great this like 15 foot bridge is really crowded
Starting point is 01:16:57 Bevel do your two first first guy misses second guy does hit for a big Four damage. Ooh a big four damage. Ooh. A big four damage. Two guys go after a hard one. Misses on the first attack, hits on the second attack for seven damage. Moonshine misses.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Misses. Next guy misses against Balnor once. Misses against Balnor twice. That's what you can't touch Balnor when he's this pissed. Moonshether, you got a couple beefies on her, so these two remaining noles will go after, bet. We'll go. If they went after deep rag, would that be insane?
Starting point is 01:17:31 One will go after everyone, after Bev. One who goes after hard one misses, one who goes after Bev hits, for four damage. Four more damage for Bev. One more damage, then there are eight up on the bridge above two shooting arrows at each of you. First one hits moonshine for six damage.
Starting point is 01:17:53 So half that. So half to three. Second one hits moonshine for five damage. So two. Third one, Mrs. Bev. God, we should really all just take a barbarian level with the help. Next one, Mrs. Bev. God, we should really all just take a barbarian level with the hell. Next one, Mrs. Bev.
Starting point is 01:18:08 I know that's not a man. Hits hard one for seven. Next one, Mrs. Hard one. Next one, Mrs. Ballnor. Mrs. Ballnor, just peeking off of Ballnor's armor. That is back around to moonshine. One round has gone by. One round has gone by. One round has gone by.
Starting point is 01:18:26 It's too many guys. You've got two beefy boys on you. Um, I'm just gonna go after one of them. Okay, cool. Uh, I'm gonna go ahead and guess the 20 hits. 20 hits. That's gonna be 18. He's pretty hurt.
Starting point is 01:18:40 I'm just pretty heathy though. I would like to Halo spores him for another 12. He is on Death's Door. What? He's pretty hurt. He's pretty easy to. I would like to Halo spores him for another 12. He is on Death's Door. What is not dead? I'm ready to be a toasted Graham Cracker in the sky. God damn it. You know, but feed my corpse to him, please. Her please.
Starting point is 01:18:57 Fucking sucks. I want to turn him into a zombie. Fucking sucks, man. Don't worry, there's a lot of guys. That is the beefy boys turn. The one that Moonshide just attacks, gonna crack back at her. Buh, buh, buh, buh.
Starting point is 01:19:09 Missed. Oh wait, can I use my bonus action to look at Bev's amulet? Yes, do it. Yeah, okay. Other guy that's on ya is gonna hit once, nine damage half to four. Then the other two guys each are gonna go after you guys. Guy on hard one hits once for 14 damage.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Other guy goes after Bev twice and hits once for six damage. Then these beefy boys are gonna use their skill. It's called in-site rampage. So you see they lock eyes, each one of the beefy boys lock eyes with one of the little weeny ones, and they all start salivating. Oh yeah, let's get horny for blood and kill people, right guys? Yeah, yeah, they get super
Starting point is 01:19:57 psyched. And each guy, four guys are going to take bite attacks against each other. Jesus. Sorry, are we doing food or blood horny? Which one is it, y'all? We're hunting for everything. One against each one of you. I'll say also, Ball Noir. One on hard one misses. One on moonshine hits. No, what?
Starting point is 01:20:15 Five damage, so half to two. One on Beth misses. Just Beth misses. One on. Gross, now I got a little ball noir misses. I want one from a little freak that is Hard one's turn great. I want to hit one of these freaks so bad. Yeah, what's a beefy guy or what whoever's fucking close to me They're all pervert you've hurt you've hurt a beefy boy. Yeah, I want to I want to kill that beefy boy. Chop him up. Let's make no stew
Starting point is 01:20:41 Yeah, dude, that's a fucking four That does not hit believe it or cool. I'm gonna take my second attack sweet the fucker That one should hit that's 17 17 hits 10 Beefies looking pretty messed up. Mm-hmm big chunk of that beefy tomato. Yeah, it's all I got a big slice of cheddar That's Bev's turn. All right. You got this beefy boy that you've hurt. I got to keep whacking away this beefy boy.
Starting point is 01:21:09 You can whack a beefy. But while I do that, I do want to shout to Deeprag and say, I just want to let you know that Mushroom's technically aren't roots. They're a fungus from the Mycunod family. So she looks really, really to me, man. Actually, that's a really good point. You've been disrespecting my fungal form.
Starting point is 01:21:28 As much as, you know, I was distracted by how good it feels. I'm not distracted you anymore. You're not distracted. You're near the... I was just fucking around, anyway. What? You get one second of sass, and you're just like... Yeah, she doesn't like you. But...
Starting point is 01:21:42 All right, uh, and I'm going to... I was using it so you'd roll ones. I'm gonna just do a like you. But. All right, and I'm going to- I'm just using it so you'd roll ones. I'm going to just do a normal attack. Great. On this guy. Yep, that's going to be 25 to hit. That is. Let's do that.
Starting point is 01:21:55 That's three, wait, no, 10. I'm going to do another attack on this beefy tomato. Great. All right, that's going to be 24. That hits. All right, that's going to be 24. That hits. All right. That's going to be 11 damage. He's on that door.
Starting point is 01:22:11 Okay, and with my bonus action, I'm going to cast Shield of Faith on whoever is nearest to me. Great. Is there gonna be a hard... You guys are all kind of grouped together. I'm pretty fucked up. Yeah, I'll give it to Moonshine.
Starting point is 01:22:22 Sweet, extra two. It's a Moonshine. Yeah, I think it's two. Yeah, I'll give it to moonshine. Sweet, extra two. It's a moonshine. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's two. Yep. Okay, that is deeprag's turn. Deeprag rushes forward, makes three attacks on moonshine. 19 AC now, first flail of madness.
Starting point is 01:22:39 Misses flail of pain. Duck. 24 to hit on flail of pain. That's one to hit last time. Yep. That's one of the duck 24 to hit on flaila pain That's one to hit last time. Yep. It's that's one of the better ones to hit because it's just damage kind of so 15.5 We'll say seven and then you are going to take Psychic damage getting all these flails 1T8 psychic damage. I'm down. We'll try try and go down? Fuck. Next attack goes against Balnor. Hits Balnor with the flail of paralysis. Don't get paralyzed, Balnor. That is a little try not to. That is 11 damage to Balnor and then he's going to roll a constitution saving throw.
Starting point is 01:23:21 Balnor fails his constitution saving throw. Balnor is hit by this skull. You see red energy go around him. He just has this aura and it's just frozen in place. Look alive, Balnor. Good. Tryin' to talk when his mouth can't move. Loo. You froze our Balnor.
Starting point is 01:23:38 That is Balnor's turn. Balnor does not go. That is the worm's turn. Trambling in the earth, you hear it getting closer, that is the noles turn, so there are still... And all these noles do is take turns. Yeah, there are still 18 noles back. Okay, so Baleno is frozen,
Starting point is 01:23:55 so they're gonna go five against hard one, five against Bev. Hard one, we can take it. Hard one sprints back into the cave. I mean, I would encourage you to bring me back to life. But first what he needs to do. First to attack, hard one hits you for seven. Okay. One guy hits you for seven.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Next guy misses, next guy hits for four. Last guy hits for seven. Five guys go after Bev. It's first two guys miss. One guy crits. 10 damage Bev. Last two guys. One guy hits six damage.
Starting point is 01:24:34 Six more damage. Yep. That is the nobles who can shoot bows. Start shooting down on you guys. There are eight of those guys up there. They're going to take four shots each. Two guys hit hard one, eight, 18 damage. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:52 Other two guys go, miss. Last guy goes, rolls a one, misses big time. You see it, arcs. It goes off into the abyss and hits bastion one time. Oh, oh. Don't shoot my friend while he's falling into the abyss, son of a bitch. I think I accidentally shot you five times.
Starting point is 01:25:07 So I'm gonna go, so Bev only gets hit with three, which is great. Woo-hoo. Mrs. Once, Mrs. Twice, hits once on Bev. Eight damage to Bev. Oh boy. That is back around to moonshine. Moonshine, go ahead and give me a death saving throw.
Starting point is 01:25:22 Five. And it's one failure for moonshine. Moonshine, go ahead and give me a death saving throw. Five. And it's one failure for moonshine. moonshine begins choking up blood. No, I do something cool. You do something cool. Shrips. Soil. Yeah, I took up soil. Choking up soil. The beekeepers. My butt is immediately becoming one with the earth.
Starting point is 01:25:42 Not yet, moonshine. That is the beekeepers turn. The ones who, Boonshine. That is the beefy boys turn. The ones who were on Moonshine. You know what? Boundore is paralyzed, but that doesn't mean he's out of the fight. So these two that were on Moonshine are going to switch to Boundore and beat him while he's hurt. Gowards. One guy actually totally misses. The other guy only hits once, but hits him for 10. Boundoers looking okay. He hasn't been hitting nearly as much as Moonshine.
Starting point is 01:26:08 Then the other two beefies go. You guys got one on each of you. Hard one misses. First attack, misses second attack, Bev. misses first attack. Misses second attack, rolls a one. That is hard one's turn. All right. So can I do anything to save Moonshan?
Starting point is 01:26:28 Or do we need to... I don't think you should focus on that. I don't think you should focus on that. I'm gonna try to kill people. You should focus on, yeah. Yeah, you got one guy in front of you that is looking like pretty close to Deaths door. Okay, I'm gonna try that.
Starting point is 01:26:39 You got luck points, you gotta hit these guys. I'm gonna try to kill this guy. Yeah. Shout out to the fucking two crew. I am you I'm gonna use a luck point It's definitely it's definitely a luck point. Yeah, I was saving it for you know, but let's let's do now. That's 22 22 hits Re-roll in the one oh boy 12 damage 12 damage He's on death's door. Can I roll just sitting at the door? Why don't you open the damn doors?
Starting point is 01:27:07 Yeah, seriously, Valu, you're gonna congregate a door. It's rude. It's not Halloween. 17 hits. Yeah, I have no figgy pudding for you, no? 13 damage. 13 damage. You fully kill this one guy and I'll say you guys are all packed in close enough that You do another 10 damage to the guy. Please. And I'll say you guys are all packed in close enough that you do another 10 damage to the guy. Please. Please. Great. You guys can I look at Bev's amulet as a bonus.
Starting point is 01:27:29 As a bonus section, yes. That's a good idea. All right, but leave it. Bev, that's your turn. All righty. I am rushing over to moonshine to touch hands hurt. You're going to take one opportunity attack. Give it to me.
Starting point is 01:27:42 He misses. Yeah. Oh, spin move. So worth it. I do that. You know what I do? I hope you did like a fake like a basketball pointer. He swipes with his glaive, and then I like get down on my knees
Starting point is 01:27:55 and slide under the glaive with my hands out. Oh, oh. And then I slap both of my hands right on Munchine's breasts, and then I take them off for a moment, and then I put them back on. So sorry. I'm sorry. I'm giving her off for a moment and then I put them back on. So sorry. I'm giving her, I should save some. I'll give you 15.
Starting point is 01:28:09 Ooh, thank you. Lay hands. Yeah, okay. Power of Polar compels you. Moonshine, you pop back up with 15. Baby, so have a bonus action or something if you want to use it. I'll just go ahead and cast Shield of Faith on hard one. Okay, great.
Starting point is 01:28:24 Yeah. Shield of Faith on hard one. Okay, great. Yeah. Shield of Faith comes back. That's a glittering face comes up over hard one. Oh! God damn it, I love this. Get the freak away! So now you have two more AC. Nice.
Starting point is 01:28:38 That puts me at 21, that's a lot. Nice. Then, oh yeah, you got that rock skin. You got that a long time ago. Moonshan pops back up That is deep rags turned a deep rag is gonna go after Bev You brought the back my love we have sort of an on again off again Stayed the heck away from this friendship salad you nasty slice of beef
Starting point is 01:29:01 He misses he gets frazzled and nothing as he slice of beef. You're a nasty slice of beef. You're a little sweet, sweet meat. I'm a much-of-flavored mint. Misses is a second time. He's gonna hit with the paralyzing one. So you're gonna do a constitution, not again. So first off, you take, you're gonna take seven bludgeoning damage.
Starting point is 01:29:24 Okay. Seven bludgeoning damage. And then go ahead and give me a Constitution saving throw Bound or does release from the oh nice. Oh, nice. Good to have you back already Constitutions is bad Constitution saving. Yeah, okay It's gonna be six plus four which is is 10 plus my extra 4, so 14. Does not do it, Bev. Red aura goes around you and you are frozen. It's not my color.
Starting point is 01:29:52 That is Boundor's turn, Boundor's free. Boundor is going to, you know what, what is Boundor gonna do? Okay, I should look for him. He had a couple beefy boys run up on him. He is the one that was with moonshine that was pretty hurt. He's gonna go after that one. Boundor hits on that one.
Starting point is 01:30:10 Boundor cuts one of the beefy boys down. Does he cleave into another? He does not. He did just enough to hit him. Boundor is gonna take a second attack though, and he crits. Yes, that's more. Okay, Boundor does 12 damage to this other guy.
Starting point is 01:30:25 That is the worm's turn, gets ever closer. This is the round. I'm starting to think, bring it on with this worm. It's true. That is the noles turn. Worm could clean house a little bit. You'd be like the dynamite and kid picks. That's true.
Starting point is 01:30:40 Okay, so there are eight guys of top still have bows. Two of them to each of you guys. Moonshine, I think you go out of your rage when you go down and I think you lose somebody again today when you go down. Heck y'all. So two on hard one, Mrs. First one, I believe in with an 19, they miss
Starting point is 01:30:57 because the shield of faith. That's right. Miss twice. I will get the next. Moonshine, the shield face, wings back. One guy hits you, Moonshine. It's fucking kidding me. For only four damage.
Starting point is 01:31:08 You up, you still up. Two more, go after Bev. 17 hit does not hit, or does it? 17, no way, baby. Nice. I'm 19 plus shield of arrow catching. Fuck, I'm not been using shield of arrow catching this whole time. God damn it.
Starting point is 01:31:23 You gotta remember that shit, man. Okay, so you got 21 AC. So this second misses good to remember now. Yeah, it's a good thing to have I think I just let for the story I had it on my back and I was like oh, yeah Next time Mrs. Balnor with one attack guy after that Mrs. Balnor with a second arrow Then there are still 10 guys down here with you guys. She Christ. Here to go. 2 per person. Hey. 10 future friends, I'd say. Literally.
Starting point is 01:31:49 Just salivating at the mouth. Let me get that for you. 2 after hard one. One guy crits. God, I know. I know. 13 damage to hard one. Next two guys go after moonshine.
Starting point is 01:32:01 Both misses. Next two guys go after Bev. Both misses. That was insane. I rolled a one in a four and then a one in a four. They missed me even though I'm paralyzed. Good question. Wait, no, they missed me.
Starting point is 01:32:12 Oh, whoa. It just says you're paralyzed to your next turn. Okay, I don't know. Buh-buh. Attack girls against a creature of advantage. Shh, they do. So they're gonna attack again. You're welcome, father.
Starting point is 01:32:20 Thanks. We do have homework. Hi. Seven damage from one of the guys. The other guy is still misses. you're still an armored little guy Other guy goes after Balnor one guy does hit Balnor for seven damage Balnor's Balnor's looking okay, but he's been better. I've been better
Starting point is 01:32:38 Bev is at death's door and he's ringing the doorbell, but nobody's answering so if somebody could come pick Bev up I'm trying to right there with him. So the other two guys are gonna go after a hard one. Looking for the key under the door mat. One guy, one guy, one guy, one guy, one. We're seeing in Silent Night, but the German version. The real six, six damage hard one. That is Moonshine's turn.
Starting point is 01:32:57 Okay, what I wanna do is I wanna cast erupting Earth on the ground underneath the archers. Oh, I'm the original ball. So that's what's up. Yeah, cool. What do I have to do? Well, they all throw dexterity saving throws to, or they take damage, however,
Starting point is 01:33:16 it fucks up that I'm doing it to fuck up the ground underneath them so that they all fall into the abyss. So we're gonna put up that bridge. Cool. Okay, so there are eight guys up there. A erupting earth, yeah, I'll say. It's got a 20 foot cube, and I'm guessing they're all pretty close to each other.
Starting point is 01:33:30 I'll see you get hit six of them. Okay. With 20 feet. Okay, so they're gonna start rolling deck saves. What's your DC? 15. First guy fails. So there's an explosion.
Starting point is 01:33:43 The bridge above you guys starts rocking. Rock start falling. It's pretty treacherous down here. Pretty dangerous for you guys. But one guy does slip off and fall off into the abyss. Make it rain. No, it's not. He is gone. Second guy fails. He falls off into the abyss. Third guy passes. But he's still gonna take half damage. We'll figure that out again. He'll take half damage. Next guy fails.
Starting point is 01:34:10 He falls off into the abyss. In the hole, you know. Shit. Get him to the hole, baby. How many guys did I say it could hit? Six. Six. Okay. Two more.
Starting point is 01:34:18 Two more guys. Another guy fails. Oh my god, you fell off into the abyss. Yes, I'm gonna have to be a murderer of these people. Last guy fails. Fall off into the abyss. Yes. A huge chunk of the bridge above you guys breaks off.
Starting point is 01:34:29 And you see noles just fall down. A couple of them like hit themselves on the way down and fall off into the abyss. I'll say the guys that got a success fall down to the bridge below you guys and just take half a day. Oh cool, hey. Yeah, they take that. Hey, whoa, hey. They take half a 14. They take seven damage.
Starting point is 01:34:44 Cool. And then I'm going to use my bonus action to look at the amulet Sweet gander so half die half your hit dice. Can I at least like shimmy? Shimmy I'm paralyzed, but can I at least jiggle a little bit? You can do a little dance. All right, shimmy cocoa puff. It better be the littlest Gays at me now better be the littlest dance you've ever done. Huchine is Beverly shaking his nipples. Ah, I probably told him that. Nothing is moving, but my nipples. That is the beefy boys turn.
Starting point is 01:35:14 There are two beefy boys who are dead, but there are two who are alive. Ain't that the way. One of them was on Bev and one of them was on Balnor. So the one after Boundor goes, and he does hit Boundor with his first attack, hanging their Boundor. And he hits Boundor with his second attack.
Starting point is 01:35:31 That is 13 damage to Boundor. Boundor is on Death's Door. Look at the emulet Boundor. Other guy goes after Bev. I'll do it my turn. Boundor gays between my nipples. Look at his nipples, Bound or look at him. 11 damage to you, Bev.
Starting point is 01:35:48 Oh, I'm down. Cool. I got you, Bev, don't worry. Bev goes down. I just had to do the erupting or things so I couldn't do a heal on you. He'll take his second attack then on Bound or. That's really was shaking his nipples too hard.
Starting point is 01:36:02 That's why he's like that. That's how I started milking blood. That is. They started shaping like a runner. Hard one, that's your turn. Who's near me? I want to swing my accent, whoever's. You got the beefies, you've got a bunch of nobles down here.
Starting point is 01:36:15 You've got your pick, the litter. They're hard one. There are like 10, there are like 12 nobles down here. I'll go up to the beefy that's beefing on Balnor. There's too much beef in this salad. Yes. Way too much beef. Yeah, this is like we're getting a taco salad.
Starting point is 01:36:30 Yeah. Is there a fucking tortilla shell? I'm feeling very vegan. Let's get rid of this beef. Crunch in the bottom of the hole of the salad. 16. 16. That hits.
Starting point is 01:36:42 14 damage. One beefy boy gone. Sick. That does. This other guy's on Death's Door. Did it cleave into. One beefy boy gone. Sick. That does this other guy's on Death's Door. Did it cleave into the other beefy? Cleaved into the other beefy. All right, cool. No beef.
Starting point is 01:36:54 Yes, 22. 22. Yes, of course, hits. I like beyond beef. Nice, 18 damage. You fully kill one and you kill another injured knoll. Hell yeah, Fanta boobs only eat impossible burgers. Woo!
Starting point is 01:37:12 This battle is an impossible burger. Yeah, it is. That is deep rags turn. We should call them beef rag, right? Yeah. Yeah, beef rag. Oh, not funny. You guys are so hurt and dead.
Starting point is 01:37:26 You're great beef, dude. You're the worst. He's just gonna go after Boundore again. His Boundore's right there. First attack. Roll the seven, Mrs. Boundore, second attack. Roll the one, Mrs. Boundore, third attack. Rolls it two.
Starting point is 01:37:38 Shout out to the two crew. Boundore's just rolling around. Super bloody. Boundore knows this fight is for keeps. Bound or it's like Rocky. Yeah, that is the Purple Worms turn. You guys feel the Earth shake and a giant Purple Worm. You know by this gargantuan beast with giant Purple scales that look like armor bursts
Starting point is 01:38:04 through the wall. Not gonna act on this turn, but it is gonna feed the next turn that is the noles turn They look so fucking amped about this there are now Like 11 guys down on the bridge with you will say Three after each one of you guys and two after Boundallar first two guys go after hard one One guy hits hits you for four damage Third guy goes against you misses Moonshine three guys going against you This is insane. I just rolled three fours
Starting point is 01:38:38 Good. Yeah, all miss three like three little dance and lady a. A three-four is the death's dorm, am I right? Woo! That is, uh, three guys against Bev. I'm down. I'm down. Bev's down. Oh, then I'll say five guys against. They can just kick me if they want.
Starting point is 01:38:54 Five guys against Balnor. Oh, no. Okay, so then one guy hits Balnor for six, brings him out of five. Then there are two more guys. Dip and dodge, Belnor. Other two guys miss Belnor, Belnor. He dips, but he is still alive. That's our dippy daddy.
Starting point is 01:39:13 That is. That is back up to Moonshan's turn. OK, I need a refresher. A lot's been happening. What's the field look like right now? The beefy boys are dead. You guys have 11 nolls crowding the bridge with you, along with deep rag.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Up on the bridge above you, there are still three archers who have not been touched. Can I read in action to throw a guy into Yanoba's mouth when it goes to attack? When it goes to eat? Yes, I'll let you do a... The way the Yanoba mechanic is gonna work is I'm gonna have Yanoba roll. I'm gonna roll in front of the board and if it matches your initiative, that's the person it goes after.
Starting point is 01:39:50 Okay. So you want a ready and action to throw it into Yanoba? I want a ready and action to throw one of the, someone into Yanoba's mouth. And then it's a bonus action. I'd like to do a third level healing word on best. Whoa, what's the word? Was the word triangle? It's obviously collo col best. Whoa, look at the word.
Starting point is 01:40:05 Was the word triangle? It's obviously Kalu Kale. Yeah, there we go. I think I whisper a magical Kalu Kale. And it turns into vapor and enters. How about you say Kalu and I spring back away and say Kale. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:21 They have pops back up. Also, I love that you've readied like a judo flip. Yeah, no, I'm hoping it does something. That's gonna be good. Okay, um, how much are we gonna? It's gonna be, it's gonna be 16. Oh, right, okay, sweet. Okay, work with that.
Starting point is 01:40:37 They have pops back up. Moonshan, go ahead and give me an oppose athletics check against one of these nolls, and we'll see if you can like, wear that stuff. Athletics is that strength, because I get, oh no, I'm not a fucking barbarian right now no okay but you've been doing crunches on the SS storm or you have pretty
Starting point is 01:40:50 good strength 20 not that you're handily defeating one of these nobles in a wrestling match right now that is hard ones turn sweet I'm gonna poison your dead beefy boys are dead I'm gonna just turn around and see if I can cleave through some of these little fuckers Yeah, there are a couple hurt ones. Oh sweet. Yeah cool. You know, but likes are salad leaves. There are a couple There's there's there's beef and then there's leaves. Yeah, it's just an shredded lettuce for the taco bowl This is fucking you guys are a Rugal in me We're not to know. It's just cheese and meat man. I crit on that Arugula though. I love Arugula. Y'all are soggy iceberg. Yeah, y'all are some freezer burned iceberg. Y'all are some iceberg lettuce
Starting point is 01:41:32 That's in the back of the fridge and it gets too cold. No, a little nice chunks of cheese and thickamete 30 damage 30 damage you fully kill two yeah, it really feels like they're leafy fully kill Dood's beefy and leafy and you have one guy that's pretty hurt now Take my second attack on him then cool in this world you're either beefy or leafy 26 26 hits obviously yep 17 damage 17 damage fully kills one that cleaves into another who's looking okay, but you know they don't have Oh shit, on my turn I also spore someone for six
Starting point is 01:42:16 Cool, so that's hard ones turn. I realize you guys have killed a bunch of people and in the previous encounter with the noils They went crazy and started attacking people, but I realized that that's when they kill somebody. So, that was a mistake on my part. So they're not quite as ravenous this time. They just look pumped, but aren't acting on it as much. How slobbery are they? So slobbery. Now that you know what it's here,
Starting point is 01:42:41 I wanna take a big bounty paper towel to their mouths. That is your turn, Beth. You can do that a few times. Hell yes! Wait, are you paralyzed? No, I just brought him back to life. I was dead. Oh, you were dead.
Starting point is 01:42:51 Yeah. Cool. The effect lifts if I die, right? A little worse than paralyzed. Yeah. Okay, so for a bonus action, I'm going to look into the amulet. Great. I'll do that after my turn. Okay, don't shaking nipples.
Starting point is 01:43:01 Yeah. I try to contain them. Goose pimpled in quivering. Oh. I push them in and my eyes bulge out. Oh. How many we got? What are we looking at?
Starting point is 01:43:13 What's the map? Yeah, and I need refresher, is that right? You got like six down here and three up top. You got Yanoba who just burst through the wall and you've got Deepreg. All right, I'm just gonna cleave and then do an amulet peep. Great.
Starting point is 01:43:26 You can go after a hurt one. I imagine that 24 hits, super hits. That's 25. Yeah, okay, great. Oh, that's gonna be 15. One guy dies. I can get a match to another guy. Uh-oh, next attack is just 11.
Starting point is 01:43:43 That does not hit. Shocks it with his fierce teeth. So let's say you wipe the slobber off with a bounty paper towel. Absolutely, yeah. You at least get a slobber off. And the dog's doing that thing where it's like, Oh. And it's resisting.
Starting point is 01:43:56 That is, no. That is deep ragged turn. Deep rag. First attack against Balnor. Because it's been attacking Balnor. Flail of madness goes first. 28 to hit, that is certainly gonna hit. This is probably the worst one, although Balnor
Starting point is 01:44:12 would normally need to make a saving throw or else he would need to attack the person next to him, but Balnor takes nine damage and goes down. So Balnor gets cut down, thank goodness, maybe. I don't know. Depends on, depends on how you look at it. Yeah, if you're rooting for you, no, but this is good. Well, I stopped healing word today, so.
Starting point is 01:44:31 Y'all, we got bonus action, heals all around. Are you sure you want to whisper in Belvenor's ear? Then I guess he'll take the next one. It would just be, instead of collucalay, it'll be, I'm just not that Indian. He'll take the next one at 5. He'll take the next one at 5. He'll take the next one at 5. He's these guys just healing each other. After my heal, I got 50 points back, so I'm at 66 HP now, just to clarify.
Starting point is 01:44:51 Good, Dan. For you, that's good. He's going to try to kill you for that. You look too healthy, you son of a bitch. I'm a crisp, refreshing mint. Yeah, he throws the flail of pain and he misses. He throws the flail of paralysis and he hits. He throws the flail of paralysis and he hits. You take seven bludgeoning damage.
Starting point is 01:45:08 Okay. And then make your constitution saving throw. All right, you'll see 16. 16, okay. But don't you get to add a bunch of stuff? Yeah, but it's still a three. So that's gonna be what, seven plus four. So red, not enough, yeah, red throws around. He's in for'm for all size again this always happens you do get your prone to
Starting point is 01:45:29 paralysis. You are prone for all this. Saving throws despite you being a paladin and being built to survive saving throws you as a person your weakness is saving throws. Sure yeah. That is Valnor's turn he's gonna make a death saving throw. I mean I should have spell could I get that is Balnor's turn he's gonna make a death saving throw I mean, I should I should have done a rose a natural one that is two death fails one more in Balnor's dead forever Wait, what no two fails for Balnor. I disagree So it is you know best turn you know, but is going to attack randomly right now you guys are all grouped Moonshine has an old ready to throw into its mouth Just don't roll a one or a two and you can throw the noal into into the mouth, otherwise it eats one of the nul's that are up there.
Starting point is 01:46:06 Oh, yeah, that makes sense to me. You got it, guys, roll it. 12. 12, okay. Yanoba launches at you guys. Moonshine tosses this nul into its moth. It closes its mouth just as it's cresting over the bridge like free willy. The snow hole.
Starting point is 01:46:29 The snow hole. And another snow goes down. The worm goes through. You see behind it, it does have a stinger, but this purple worm is just feeding right now. This is not the worm attacking. This is it feeding. And it bears back in. I love these shadows to everyone. The bogus on the nose. I kind of
Starting point is 01:46:48 kind of respect this worm. I'm trying to fight it. You hear a deep rag go, yes she gets it. See this is why you and I have a thing. She respects it. She doesn't think it's a god. Yeah. You're a fucking weirdo. Seriously I'm not making weird blood spiders on the ground jerking off into home and ask any of you know, but it come Bless you open your little Cool, it's like going to the zoo and being like oh, this is a neat ant Yeah, you want to give it to your god as a pet you don't build a temple at the zoo and worship the walrus Yeah, for real have some self respect one one regular no for you guys
Starting point is 01:47:23 First one misses hard one second one one, hits moonshine. Okay. Four damage. Next one goes after Bev. Hits Bev, rolled 19. Seven damage on Bev. Palmers down to other guy, he'll take a shot at Bev and misses.
Starting point is 01:47:40 Then there are still three up on the bridge. I keep saying two or three, it's three. And they shoot down. I'll say one for each of you guys one for hard one misses one for moonshine hits Seven damage to moonshine And one for Bev misses bounces off Bev's armor god you're a bad shot. You standing super still.
Starting point is 01:48:05 Shut up, we're frazzled. You're not the bridge over. I'm literally outlined in red. Where's Stuporix? Oh, you're right. Uh, he rolls in the advantage, but he rolls with a two. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me. Uh, that is back up to Moonshine, sir. Okay. Um, uh, four down on the ground here with you guys. A couple of them are hurt.
Starting point is 01:48:26 Who looks the most hurt? They're more that are a little hurt that you hit when you knocked down at the bridge. Just a little hurt. Yeah, I mean, they don't have that much each key. I'm just gonna regular attack while one of the most hurt looking ones. Great.
Starting point is 01:48:39 Does a 13 hit. It does not. Fuck me while I still hit him for, I'm spores and for six Okay, one guy fucking standing still standing all right, and then I bring Balnor back with a third level healing word and what do you say to Balnor? I say um I Say I just see us more for brother. I Didn't hear that I came up after Balnor didn't want to wake up when he heard it. I home for 15.
Starting point is 01:49:07 15. Ballooners back. Pretends to stay down, but he doesn't know. I'm only dead on the inside now. That is hard one's turn. I'm gonna swing my axe at some of the lesser beefy boys. Great. 19. 19 hits. some of the the lesser beefy boys. Great. 19. 19 hits. Oh, I said not beefy boys. They're just regular boys. 10 damage. Yeah, they're leafy boys. Oh, yeah, leafy boys. The one that moonshine hurt goes down and you do a damage to another guy. Cool. I'm gonna see if I can kill him. Cool.
Starting point is 01:49:40 22 that hits 14 or wait 13 he's at 1 HP ah that is come on maybe I can turn him into a fucking zombie yeah yeah turn anyone to a zombie all right how many how many knows we got left uh three downstairs three upstairs one paralyzed so it doesn't matter you can't do anything yeah you're right do I do I get a role to try and get out of it? Nope. Can we hear you just paralyzed thoughts at least?
Starting point is 01:50:05 That is deep rex turn on deep rex turn. He'll go after, think about how bad I want a knee swast salad. He'll go after Balnor first. Yeah. Misses on the first attack. Misses on the second attack. Three and a five. And a three.
Starting point is 01:50:20 Three, five, three. Balnor blocks three times. Balnor is angry because he just got dumped. That is just an alnourster. And then, Bound or is gonna, brought back to life only to be dumped. Bound or is gonna take an opportunity attack. Honestly, I brought him back to life by dumping him,
Starting point is 01:50:36 which is like a good metaphor. Totally true. Bound or does get hit with an opportunity attack. Oh. Um, for eight damage. So he's at half, but he runs up to the guy who only has one HP. Crit on the wound, did right guys. He does hits. Do what you got to do, man. Debrab me a Mozambi.
Starting point is 01:50:59 Um, he kills one and he injures another. He takes his second attack, hits. Greatly injures another one. There are only two down here now and they're pretty hurt. That is Yanobas turn. Everybody roll a pure luck check. Or no, you know what? Somebody roll in front of the table for me for, you know, but.
Starting point is 01:51:25 11. That is deep rags. I miss you. Wow. Yo. It's judgment day, bitch. You were looking over at hard one. I was like, no, that was this initiative.
Starting point is 01:51:42 I know it was. I know it was it. So fucking lucky. Because I have. I know it wasn't. I know it wasn't. That was so fucking lucky. Cause I have, I have it basically set up so that like the other noles are kind of disposable. You know, we'll go after them. I wasn't gonna let it go after Deep Ragnallys and hit his exact thing.
Starting point is 01:51:56 So you see, I wish there was a way that he could know that I was able to hold that. He doesn't know that you rolled it, but he is now covered. He is covered in no blood So his scent is different than it was otherwise because he's this shaman that has a connection to you know But he summoned it so he's standing there He's like super confident as it approaches him
Starting point is 01:52:16 He's still gonna do his saving throw but he's going to take a full attack from a goddamn purple worm So it is plus nine to hit. You're God hates you dude. No, no, I'm just covered in your shitty blood. You fucks dude. Hey, Greg, I just want you to know that it was moonshot and threw that dust. I don't know what dice is. Stop met a gaming. You live by the worm. You die by the worm, big guy. Okay, you know what? Oh my god. He takes 27 damage from a bite from the purple worm.
Starting point is 01:52:52 And then he is, you see him get caught in the beast's moth and he is going to go ahead and do a saving throw. I will roll it right in front of the table. It's a DC 19 saving throw. He's got a roll of 19 or 20. He's got a plus zero today. I'm not letting him use my aura Thorns on our son. I think I might worship this thing. Yeah, I'm gonna start worship in this thing. Oh 19 Deep rag pushes himself out of the worm And you know, but keeps going and he's just covered in blood, and he's got this giant
Starting point is 01:53:26 gash across his chest, and he goes, I am the new survivor. Me, it is I, I am a god. But I thought you did respect Bastion. No, because I am the real survivor. You were tasty enough for Genoba. Do you see me? I am the real survivor. I would tell you a recheck. You look like more like an appetizer. That is the Noles turn. I'll say, want go after bed one will go after hard one one goes after hard one and crits
Starting point is 01:53:51 I'm so sorry Sorry, hardy seven damage hard one. Sorry hardy Bev yeah, one misses on you. Are you paralyzed? I'm still paralyzed Still misses rolls a one into two. They're shooting at you from above. Patek, patek. Misses, two fives in a row. Misses, misses.
Starting point is 01:54:15 Last guy, even with advantage. I'm a small target. Hits once. Okay. Not that small. For six. That is moonshine's turn. All right, I need to run down to the field again.
Starting point is 01:54:26 There are still two nolls down here that are pretty messed up. Three guys on the bridge above you, shooting at Bev, you know about squirming around and deep rag swinging his flail. I attack one of the guys who are on Death's Door. Okay. 27 hits. That hits.
Starting point is 01:54:41 17. 17 moonshine, you cut through one Rosaline explodes with fire and you do 8 damage to the guy next to him. He is hurt. Oh, and then I spores the guy next to him. 8. Six damage? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:56 He is on death's door. Fucking. I can't make a fucking zombie out of these fucking nose. That is so wait, hard ones turn. That seems so hard. That seems like a really difficult... No, is you really easy to kill someone with your fucking spores?
Starting point is 01:55:10 Yeah. There's just one knoll next to me, right? There's just one knoll who is so hurt. All right, I'm gonna try to cleave through the leaf into the beef. Great. 20 hits, not net, but... Not net. Nine. Nine. 20 hits not not but Not not nine nine
Starting point is 01:55:27 Goes right through him does six damage to deep rag I am the survivor We'll see about that. Yeah second attack on beef rag Not the beef rag I crit baby You guys better kill him fast. There's not a lot of for you know, but it's used from right now 24 he's hurt You guys better kill him fast. There's not a lot for you know, but it's used from right now. Mm-hmm. 24. He's hurt. Really wanted him to be dead. That is deeprag's turn.
Starting point is 01:55:52 You've been calling him beef rag. Bev, you come up out of the paralysis. Oh, he's going to go after you, hard one. First attack, flail of madness. Crits. Oh, I'm'm gonna go down. That is 14 damage bludgeoning, and then go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw.
Starting point is 01:56:11 I ain't smart. Not 20. Eight. I'm smart today though. No effect on you at all. Wow, two crits. He crit on you and you crit on him. When he crit on you, you get a crit back. Flail of pain. He takes a swing at you. Misses. Flail paralysis. Takes a swing at you. 21. He's gonna hit you.
Starting point is 01:56:33 Yep. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. You take nine damage off the bat. Then I'm down. Hard one goes down. Shit. That is Boundor's north turn Bound or It's gonna take some swings on deep rag he hits Nice 11 damage Deep rags looking fucked He can go bali. There you go. Well, I'm dead, so My eyes are open, but one closes so it's sort of like a wink My eyes are open, but one closes, so it's sort of like a wink. Misses on the second attack.
Starting point is 01:57:08 That is, you know, this turn. Go ahead, and there's not that many guys left. Go ahead and roll in front of the table. Four. Four. Four. That is exactly the Knowles initiative. I'm not even kidding how fucking lucky you're rolling it.
Starting point is 01:57:27 That's right, from the very start I was like, I roll for the group today. I got to feel the fire about things. This is perfect luck. The worm goes up to the bridge above. You guys, where are there three guys? Go ahead and roll a D4. See how many guys, fuck, because they're grouped up in stuma.
Starting point is 01:57:42 Three. Full goal. Full goal. You know what I mean? It's the three guys that are above in one swallow. And you guys, it crunches down on the first one and like half of a knoll falls down and covers you guys in blood.
Starting point is 01:57:56 And you see deep, ragged, it's just like, it is beautiful, the most religious experience of my life. Guys, we're all covered in no gravy. That is the noals turn. The noals are all dead. That is moonshine's turn. Oh, there's not a single stand noal. There's not a single standing noal,
Starting point is 01:58:15 but there's gonna be nobody left to eat, but you guys, this turn. Yeah, cool. I don't got much to do, so I'm just gonna attack and hope for a crit on what's the face. Be frag. Uh, does a 16 hit? 16.
Starting point is 01:58:34 Does hit. It just hits me. Oh, thank you. Be frag. Oh, okay. I hit him for, I hit him for 19. Moonshine. Finish him.
Starting point is 01:58:46 Woo! I think I wanna dip him, like do a really masculine dip, like I'm in like a tango with him, and then get really close into his face and be like, it was fun while it lasted, but I think this Trist is Ronit's course, and then I wanna kiss him with my spores.
Starting point is 01:59:03 Yeah, he locks slips with you. He's so horny right now. Just covered in blood. You just survive being eaten by a you know, but makes out with you hard and dies. Have you no, no, I'm the survivor. I am the survivor. Survive this.
Starting point is 01:59:20 Kiss him with his spores and turn him into a fucking zombie. Yay. Welcome to the team. Yes, it's poetic, but finally get my zombie. Can you just make the zombie walk right off the cliff? Yeah, I think I'm gonna use him as like a mannequin and try on some outfits. Okay guys, you guys have 200 feet that you guys have to traverse to get to the other side. You know, but still eating people.
Starting point is 01:59:42 The only people that are left are zombie, uh, zombie deeprag. If we've got him then, so I killed him, but someone could throw zombie guy, zombie deeprag into you know, but okay, yeah, we're just like even hard on swaying on the cold bridge. First off, moonshine, you have not taken any movement. Would you like to run towards the exit? What would you like to do? What about me? I'm dead. Did you have a healing word anymore? Did I use a bonus action? No, I've got a healing word. Bringing you back.
Starting point is 02:00:10 Okay, that's what's up. Hard one comes back. Oh, sorry. That's all I need, baby. Eight hit points. I just got a run. Hard one comes back up. I got one first level left.
Starting point is 02:00:20 Moonshan, would you like to make a run for the bridge? Oh, wait, what did you say to me? What did I say to you? I said, oh man, you missed a pretty good death. I wake up and like, did you kiss him? And then I'm fucking booking it. Okay, so you can- But I'm a shoving the zombie to you guys
Starting point is 02:00:39 so that you can like, use a mess upon. Moonshan, what is your speed? 35. Cool. You have 165 feet left to make it. That is hard one's turn. Hard one, you've got you, balnor, and Bev are still up. You've got this zombie there.
Starting point is 02:00:58 Purple worm is gonna act at some point. Cool, I prod the zombie up, pants him and run. Ha ha. Hard one takes a full dash action. Hard one, you have 140 feet left to traverse. Bev, I propped the zombie up, pants him and run. Ha ha. Hard one takes a full dash action. Hard one you have 140 feet left to traverse. Bev, that is your turn. Okay, I'm gonna click my Yippee Skippy boots. Ooh.
Starting point is 02:01:13 And with a full dash action, I could get a hundred feet away. Nice. And with a bonus action, can I misty step even further? Yes, oh boy. You fucking flash ahead. You're a mere 70 feet.
Starting point is 02:01:28 He's just so excited to not be paralyzed. Yeah. My legs work. Man, when you move, you move fast. OK, then that is deep rags. Turn deep rags to Zambi. Moonshine, you can control him. I tell him to jump into Yonobo's mouth.
Starting point is 02:01:42 So hard. As a Zambi, he has very slow speed, but he's going to gonna start heading towards you and hard one kind of try to get in the middle and unless you know But rolls your exact initiative Deeprag will try to jump into this mouth bow nor will run his 25 feet and then he is going to prepare a reaction a respectable jog Prepare to eat a tuna sandwich if he needs to. Roll in front of the table for me. Okay. 16.
Starting point is 02:02:08 That is, nobody's initiative. So you see the worm goes up kind of between like hard one and boundore on the bridge and deep rag dives into its mouth. Was there like a lizard that rolled 16? No, no. It's like a little bit bigger. It's fine. He's 16, it's actually pretty though. What about like a wasp, cave wasp? that rolled 16. No, no. Like a little bit of feed. That looks fine.
Starting point is 02:02:25 He's succeeded on his decks, you throw. What about like a wasp, cave wasp? That was just like in the game and no one else cared. Deeprag, the innermost. Deeprag, the idiot, is swallowed. Bound or that? Deadrag. Bound or had a reaction prepared,
Starting point is 02:02:39 he's gonna use his other 25 feet to keep running. He's at 150 feet. That's back around a moonshine. Moonshine, you have 165 feet, two traverses. You got no more dummies to throw. Then I'm just doing 70 feet. Sweet, 70 feet. That is hard one, Stern.
Starting point is 02:02:54 I will keep on running. Cool. What's your speed? 30. 30, cool. So you do another 60 feet. You are 80 feet away, Bev. That's your turn.
Starting point is 02:03:02 You're 70 feet away. Then I do a full dash to get there. Sweet. Yeah, Bev, that's your turn, you're 70 feet away. Then I do a full dash to get there. Sweet. Yeah, Bev. You climb up these rock handholds and squeeze through the fissure outside, and you are fully out of this cave. That is, oh gosh, it's beautiful.
Starting point is 02:03:17 Ball Norse turn, ball Nor will take full dash action. That is Yanobas turn, roll initiative in front of it. It's gonna go after one of you guys. It's 20, it's gonna, I got a nap 20, but my initiative was 20, wasn't it? So how does that factor in? It was your initiative. Munchine, the worm.
Starting point is 02:03:41 That sucks, I got a nap 20 and it's a bad, a bad 20 and it's a bad bad 20 worm launches for you moonshine 18 to hit doesn't Bell do we have a reaction he does, but he's like these two for away 16 feet away from her 18 hits 18 does it okay And you're too far away from bev to get his thing. Oh god give me a Dexterity saving throw. DC 19. I didn't get it. When shine is swallowed by Enobo. Well, what kind of damage did I take, by the way?
Starting point is 02:04:13 She rolled very low, 13. Oh, okay. Jesus Christ. Then I take, then I'm down to 11. This worm's not full goddamn. Okay, so you're down to 11, and you are swallowed by this worm. Part one, you're still out there,
Starting point is 02:04:29 you and Balnor see Moonshine get swallowed. Do I see this from up top? Can we say I'm still peeking in? Yeah, you get to still be peeking in. All right, so Moonshine, you are blinded and restrained inside this worm. You feel like it's muscles contracting and acid coming up around you.
Starting point is 02:04:47 Oh god, that's great. Okay, so I'm going to use my action to enter fungal mode, which will give me 21 extra hip points. That's super helpful. Bringing me up to 32 and then spores it for 12. Okay. And I'm going for it to you, Viala, of course. 32 and then spores it for 12. Okay. And I'm going for it's you, Vialov, of course. That is hard one's turn.
Starting point is 02:05:11 Can I do like a strength check trying to like open its mouth or something? If you would like to do an opposed strength check against this plus nine beast, I will allow it. And I'm a plus nine beast too. I'll let you like kind of gag it and then it'll do a constitution saving throw to get that. I'm not going to. I'm going to punch it. It's an item's apple.
Starting point is 02:05:34 But if you do not win, it will swallow you too. Unless you pass the dexterity saving throw. Okay. I'm going to I'm going gonna try to punch it in the throat. Okay, hard one sees moonshine swallowed by this worm jumps up in his mall. Go ahead, let's roll in front of the table. My guy has a plus nine. So do Uh. 23. I'm gonna use my luck point. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 02:06:07 You got a plus five, right? Oh yeah, yeah. I do have a plus five. Okay, so you got to get 18 or higher. Oh my god. Yeah! Yeah! Oh my god!
Starting point is 02:06:20 Holy fucking shit! That's the luck point baby. Oh my god! Woo! Within that 20. Oh yeah! Hard one. Hard one.
Starting point is 02:06:31 You see moonshine swallowed by this worm. Moonshine, you are sucked into this thing's belly. You see acid rising around you. You turn into a fungal entity and start climbing your way up its body. Hard one. You jump up. Grab its moss moss stop it from swallowing you Reach in with your arm grab moonshine predator handshake and pull her out. Yeah, we do I don't even need to do a dexay with a nat 20 give me a fucking break. That's so good
Starting point is 02:06:58 Lucky I also rolled a nat 20, but it actually got me swallowed Two nat 20s. I'm gonna be a piece of shit 20 still the end on the way out. Can I kick it in the me swallowed. Two Nath 20s on the other piece of shit. 20s till the end, on the way out, can I kick it in the Yuvula? Yeah, you kick in the Yuvula, huh? He barfs up. I wanna take a shit in it. Can I like toss them a rope or something?
Starting point is 02:07:15 That is your turn, yeah. Yeah, all right, I'll try and restrain it with nature's wrath. Okay. I'm just gonna try and summon some finds. So you gotta hit with an attack? No, it's like a strength or deck saving throw. I don't remember. Pretty strong, but, you know.
Starting point is 02:07:28 Okay, we're rolling 20s. What is your DC? No, it's just mine. Oh, uh, 15. 15, okay. This thing rolls a six or higher, it breaks out of the vines. Okay. I'm rolling in front of the table.
Starting point is 02:07:40 That's a four baby. That's a four. Yes! Yes! Bev, you, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. That's a poor baby. That's a fool. Bev you Wrap spectral vines around the worm you feel palore flowing through you just this white glow around the vines Hug it palore. Hug like you've never hugged How one of these vines poured me a beer?
Starting point is 02:07:59 Bound horse turn Is gonna run 50 feet? Almost there. He's up there with hard one in moonshine. That is the purple worms turn. Purple worm is going to try to get out. And he's gonna do another strength save to get out. Yeah. Sweet.
Starting point is 02:08:13 Nat, one. Oh, baby. Purple worm stays in. You guys have plenty of time now. So you know, but is caught up in Bev's nature's wrath. You see these spectral vines keeping the beast at bay with miracle levels of holy energy. It gives the rest of you just enough time to climb out of the cave and reach the outside. You've escaped the Noel tunnels.
Starting point is 02:08:36 You can see Mount Forge, but you find yourself at the edge of a cliff. You see that the rocks above the Noel caves are slantedanted down causing snow to slide down and pack deep down below It's a long drop down, but there looks to be a decent amount of snow there behind you You hear you know, but burst through the vines and begin burrowing towards you. What do you do? We should hold hands and jump like you're going into the pool. Yeah, yeah, I'll jump on to it. Toy story three style You guys toy story three style b, Boundore, Hold Your Hand, and you guys. We fall.
Starting point is 02:09:08 I have the featherfall ring. If I hold hands with people, does that help a little bit? We'll find out next time. Bye! Not another D&D podcast. The literal cliffhanger. My god, that is very true. Yeah, my goodness.
Starting point is 02:09:25 Cool guys, well, I guess we'll talk about this more on the short rest about whether you guys are vibing out. I can't believe that fucking Nat 20. That's yeah. Perhaps most clutch Nat 20 in Nat pod history. I rolled the worst Nat 20 we've ever had. That's the worst Nat 20 in Nat pod history. Your mechanic makes me mad and you should have had a clause,
Starting point is 02:09:43 but I don't know what the way around it was though. Right, there's no way to get it. It's exactly how it should look for it. You can control your opponent. But I was really mad to see a 20-in-b disappointed by it because usually that site is so such a gift. You know what, we wouldn't have had this wonderful moment.
Starting point is 02:09:57 It was an LLU, like that. Yeah, totally. I thought there was a, the way it was designed, the way that, because you guys did great and had a lot of luck But in a weird way you know, but showing up late is sort of bad luck It can kind of go either way. Yeah, yeah People she could have just eaten like a billion noles It could have gotten to the point where you guys just like got rid of deep rag and
Starting point is 02:10:18 Then she ate 10 noles while you guys ran away. I got full. Yeah, let's talk about it on a short rest Yeah, that's a great short rest. Yeah, we'll talk about it on the short rest. Guys, head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD, POD don't sing yet. Oh. We'll be back next week with a Christmas special. Yay.
Starting point is 02:10:36 Happy. It's old cop, I'm gonna be back. Oh, you know he's gonna be back. Mad that is the Christmas gift of all time. I will tease it a little bit for you guys. It is going to open with, it is a story that Old Cobb tells. He's gonna be sitting by a fireplace. Twirl the night before Christmas.
Starting point is 02:10:50 Yes, that's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. Oh, I can't wait to hear those. It's twice the night before a Christmas. I can't wait to hear that delicious ASMR-y crackling fire. Oh, I can't wait to hear those. I can't wait to hear those. Old Cobb's Southern Drawl.
Starting point is 02:11:04 I can smell the Kric nog now. Oh. fire. I can smell the crick-nog now. Oh, woo. And we'll be back next year finding out whether or not you guys survived this fall, but the ring of featherfall should help you guys. Oh, big. I do want to say one thing, crick-nog is made with gator eggs.
Starting point is 02:11:20 Oh, absolutely. It should be noted. My God, still in the shell. Yeah, and instead of nutmeg, it's just dirt. Okay, thank noted. Oh my god, still in the show. Yeah, and instead of Nutmeg, it's just dirt. Okay, thank you. Let's plug our stuff. So check out Hot Date on Netflix,
Starting point is 02:11:32 Meenable East That's a good Christmas show. Watching around Christmas. All is excellent. Hey you up, had a turn your booty call and to emergency contact is our book. You can buy it on Amazon or on Audible. Watch us on Fantasy High on Dropout with some
Starting point is 02:11:48 college humor friends and whatnot. You guys also have... Yeah, check out Cartoon Hell on Dropout. Or Lonely and Hordeon Dropout. Yeah, what's the code for our dropout? Sign up dot dropout dot tv slash NAD pod. Check it out, it. What is our PO box? It is 1920, Hiller's Avenue, number 222, Los Phillies, California, 9-0-0-27. There's a lot of fun stuff in there that I need to go pick up. Oh, please, keep sinning stuff.
Starting point is 02:12:16 Fill my box. Ha ha ha. Fill my box and thrac the cat. This has been a couple dinner. Never allowed to do a podcast again. Do we have anything else to plug? Oh, subscribe to Drafty. We are getting very close to a million subscribers.
Starting point is 02:12:30 And I think that's cool. You're welcome. You're welcome for the holidays. I'm gonna go on. I got some in a plug. Review us. Oh yeah. Reveal us, right?
Starting point is 02:12:42 Yeah, I don't want that. It still matters. It still matters. It still matters, you know what I'm saying. Tell your friends about the show. Break through review right? Yeah, don't want that. It still matters. It still matters. It still matters, you know what I'm saying. Tell your friends about the show. Yeah. Rea and review it.
Starting point is 02:12:49 Call us on Twitter, at CHMurphusMe, at Call The Is Called Well, at E-Axford Is Emily, and at Jake Herwitz Is Jake. So tweet about the show using hashtag, NADPOD, that's NADPOD. We are, we are, youth of the nation,
Starting point is 02:13:03 we are, we are, youth of the nation! We are... We are... Youth of the nation! It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders, it's just me this week, Murf, you're direct messenger, so you know what that means? It's the motherfucking lightning round. Starting with Brad D, the only Pebble pot that isn't Craven tried to take the pebble pot cland to a team building workshop, but none of them was brave enough to do a trust fall, so Brad D spent the whole weekend trust falling into a crowd of his relatives who repeatedly
Starting point is 02:13:37 got scared and ran away. Jay Loma, 72, aka Steelbreaker, hard ones, Jim's inspiration, has never once posted an inspirational quote about putting the work in on Instagram, which is how you know Steelbreaker actually puts the work in. Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard who accidentally invented blade singing. During the holiday season, Dylan B grabs a bunch of swords and goes blade caroling at the doorfinage. Danny P, Bahumi is resident artist, painted Hard One senior portrait at the doorfinage. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the Dwarfinage.
Starting point is 02:14:05 Danny P. has since gone into an obscure Andy Warhol phase and has an exhibition at Iron Deep's Museum of Modern Arts that's just an 8mm film of him eating a sandwich and staring down the barrel of the camera. Tom P. Father of the Realm, the serenader of Sleeping Babies, turned entertainer of waking babies, but here's the crazy thing, Tom P is also the entertainer of sleeping babies, babies as he is a powerful dream walking sorcerer who flits between reality and the dream realm. Spencer T, aka Spencer Casprue, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and here is
Starting point is 02:14:39 a Bohemia alike. Around the holidays everyone's clamoring for Spencer's trademark mode wine, a fine oven ale, spiced with cloves and cardamom, then slowly simmered over the flame of a dragon with really good breath control. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn elder tonight, an ex-owner of the Badgers' Pint Inn in Tavern, quick update in the middle of the dance competition to save the Badgers' Pint Inn in Tavern from becoming an orange theory fitness center. Across fit trainer, save the Badger's pint in and tavern from becoming an Orange Theory Fitness Center. Across fit trainer manipulated the Badger's week ego in the Badger flip sides.
Starting point is 02:15:10 Betraying Griffin SD and giving the Orange Theory Fitness Center the final signature they needed on their building permit. Beardman Dan. Dan's beard is so long that if you know but started eating Dan, beard first, she'd fill up before she ever got to Dan. It's for that reason that Dan's beard gives him plus 12 AC. Scott D, a sun bum, which is just a wandering monk of Polar
Starting point is 02:15:31 who has renounced all shade forever to bask in the light of Polar. Aaron C, a great fighter who gives credence to the axiom the pen is mightier than the sword because they fight with two super pointy pens whose ink cartridges have been replaced by an acrotic night-shade poison. Hermes W the Bat King, it has fallen on Hermes' shoulders to forge a political alliance through marriage,
Starting point is 02:15:52 so they are currently courting several rodent royalty as well as a human who's the child of a very confused Duke. T. Alex, a knoll who woke up with a super bad bloodlust hangover to discover they'd been adopted by a nice family for Christmas? The children have named them Roscoe and T. Alex are just kinda going with it for now. RJW invented Misty Step as part of a 6 skateboarding trick years ago and is super disappointed to see it mostly being used in battle now. Spartus, champion of the Glateron Coliseum fighting pits, who has shockingly won a majority of their matches by playing dead. Atom R, the R-rated assassin, word spread of all the nudity and cursing in their killings,
Starting point is 02:16:29 and some of the kink your message boards about whom you are filled with fanfic of what it would be like to be killed by Atom R. Cassandra MHP has so much HP that they can use you nobustumic acid as a facial peel. Their skin is glowing like it literally does one point of radiant damage just to look at Cassandra. Danielle, the dastardly dame, Danielle is so dastardly she wants conjured a blood ritual of Yanoba, but when Yanoba popped out Danielle didn't have any sacrifices to feed the worms hunger. All Danielle had was an empty container of hummus, no chips or carrot to eat it with. Yanoba was super pissed but ate the hummus anyway. Hugh C aka, how do her frostback, MVP of the giant wars, crewed on the SS stormborne and
Starting point is 02:17:08 fought alongside a liason red, uses an ice luge as a slip and slide and deadlifts, icebergs. Many the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity when you forget to water your lawn, but then it rains, that's manny, tinklin' on your greens. Daniel U, aka, multi-for the many face magician, has many faces and each one of them is hotter than the next. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, just spun at the most epic bar mitzvah, Bohumias ever seen.
Starting point is 02:17:35 Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and has never been sport because he's friends with moonshine. Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy-turned-crick barcatech, recently commissioned to add a gym to moonshine stump so hard-won can get his squats in while he's visiting. Let's sketch the escape artist regularly, escapes to the Feywild to trip on trumps and discover himself. John S, aka Super The Mushroom, recently stole mushrooms from a grocery store and is now wanted for kidnapping.
Starting point is 02:18:02 Ryan M, a bar known for juggling multiple jobs. It's the gig economy baby. Elena C. and Elf Steampunk who has the record for most ear pieces because their ears are so pointy. Andrew M. the only human ever known to teach an iron dwarf dog had a fetch. It was scary but adorable. Michael McD. Headmixologists at the Blumon Inn working on a new special tea drink, concocted from whiskey, and the brown part of the prawn served neat. Victor T. Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, the unstableness in his region is heightened by the unstableness he feels by the absence of his father.
Starting point is 02:18:38 Henry A. A very drunk sorcerer who casts really zany spells, changing the course of the realm, then wakes up for getting what the hell happened. Lance W. aka Lance with a stance, he can take such a wide stance that he adds 20 to his decks. Just an eye, stars in his very own reality TV show called Stump Wars, where he buys Crick Stumps at auction without knowing what's inside. Caleb Storm won, also known as Caleb the Club. Their weapon of choice is a club that they take to the club with their favorite sandwich
Starting point is 02:19:05 order, the club. Clayton and them, a Claymation Dalmatian, thinks they're in love with someone they met on vacation, but it could just be infatuation Clayton's been hurt before. TJM, a full orc rapper, has a voice like DMX, but can dance like Usher, it's sick. The professional, the only lawyer to ever successfully beat Pop-O in litigation, though Pop-O canner-soued and they settled out of court. Jacob C saved Ryan the ram from the clutches of the Knowles and is now riding him majestically through the tundra.
Starting point is 02:19:30 Elena Am, starting an award-winning theater show about a no-falling in love with the Inoba called Worms of Endearment. Gone off has gone off on a mystical quest in search of their long-lost father, Stayon. McPucks, the codemaster who created our amazing website, the only human in the world who has actually met the maleur Damon and lived to tell the tale. Earl and Kathleen L, two frost dwarves that were recently married in a beautiful ceremony when Kathleen and Earl looked at each other in the eye and said, fuck you, I love you eat a rat, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
Starting point is 02:20:01 Dylan M, a talented executioner who kills people with a broad sword, clenched firmly between their butt cheeks for high profile executions, however, Dylan prefers to use the glutatine. Jive G, a holy knoll known as the yummiest. After you know about eight then, the warm smiled, rubbed her tummy, and let out a high pitch. Mmm, nobody knows what Jive did to earn this praise,
Starting point is 02:20:22 but leading scholars think it was because their pockets were full of nutmeg. Corbin A, an era croc-crop, a cop who soars the open skies to get parking tickets to airships that are parked on handicap clouds. Atlas Storm Reaper, a fire giant who just got really into glass blowing. They say they got into it to make cool artwork, but everyone knows they just want to make a cool ass bong. There's no shame in that atlas.
Starting point is 02:20:43 Jostritch, an ostrich that loves to prank people by jostling their things. You might think it's a harmless prank, but their strong neck can whack a laptop off a table in a heartbeat, you'll never see it coming. ELDRAG, aka the Dragornod, a super jack gnome who just entered ketosis, currently locked in battle with their oldest and most powerful foe, a single spoon of yogurt. Camerad C, an enormous invisible face spider that is somewhere in your house right now, sleep tight. PJW, Charo Arcadeus, a tiefling warrior whose tail is his best friend and worst enemy, the
Starting point is 02:21:15 only thing beifer than his warlocks, gladiator's frame is the innumerable amount of times they've beefed it, doing incredibly dumb tail stunts. Demi-o-R, a nomish tinkerer who invented the Bohumi and equivalent of Chapstick. It's pretty much exactly the same except you have to squeeze it out of a bug's butt and the bug does scream the entire time, but hey, no more cracked lips. Josh S, aka Josh Scoop, holds the record in Bohumi for most scoops of an adorable creature. Once scooped 50 Bullywag Peepers at once they would have been able to scoop more but the rest of the peepers were mid-coitus and that threw Josh off their game.
Starting point is 02:21:49 Dumb R, a walking, talking, palm-trient who lives at the beach, not much good in a fight but could accidentally drop a coconut on you so watch out for that I guess. Nicholas R, Bohumi is best candle maker, nothing magical about Nicholas, they're just super good at making candles and everyone appreciates and values them for it. Jennifer V, the Goof Guru, rules in at 20 on every Goof, the only wizard to ever master the puke berry variant of the good berry cantrip spell, Matt Aids, join the crack tooth clan, literally a day before the band of boobs rolled into town, sorry Matt, your parents will write, you should have gone to dentistry school.
Starting point is 02:22:23 Jacob J, a rare holographic dragon, they shine with a polychromatic brilliant brilliance that dwarfs the majesty of the other metallic dragons. Jacob is the last of their kind. And as all the other holographic dragons have been captured and placed in plastic sleeves for all of eternity, Destiny Sea garnered the good favor of Unoba by offering the great beast a breath mint after she spit fashion back up. Devin B, the tallest Crick Bullywug in this pile of mud we call Bahumia, lore of Devin
Starting point is 02:22:53 B's height has reached far and wide as admiring Crick Bullywug's whisper. Did you hear? Devin B's so tall they're nearly Tha-Hai. Michael L and Asimar, who is hence the title, fall in angel as they swear they meant to jump, they just stumbled when they landed so it looked like a fall. Same age, a powerful tabaxi wizard who needed a break from wizarding and is pretending to be a normal cat on the lap of Nana Kindleef. Kelvin Noodle's the Noodle Doodle, can predict the future by slapping noodles on a canvas and reading the secret message within, swears that every time they asked the noodles about Balnor, they had noodles spell out
Starting point is 02:23:28 1914. Christian H. Sergio Salazar Solomon Sackarius De Sylvia Seventh of his name, a Peruvian snake folk with a sweet snake pattern on his skin. Sergio is so sexually, it actually hinders them romantically. Every time they get close to someone they like, their erotic power is so potent that the person accuses them of being a succubus and won't return their calls. Max L, rising in the ranks of the Thieves Guild, Max L, has been budding heads with Joris, claiming that under Joris, they're just a handful of disorganized pickpockets,
Starting point is 02:23:59 whereas under Max, they could oceans 11 the shit out of Smuggler's Bounty. Tray-Lay. Tray-Lay is like, so fe, it's cray.'s bounty. Traylay. Traylay is like sofa. It's cray. Slay. Traylay. Slay. Evan K. AKA Malvo Donstar.
Starting point is 02:24:10 Come on, come on to Malvo Donstar's traveling druid enclave. Malvo Donstar's traveling druid enclave is like the circus except with way more wrinkly old shaman sweating out way more psychedelics. Many a mother has had their heart broken by a note saying, I've run away with the traveling druid enclave. Grace H, the graceful H, an airship pilot well known across Bahumia, in spite of the fact that their airship is animated by magic and leaves no smoke trail, the graceful Ace has perfected skyriding by just lighting the butt of their ship on fire than spelling as much
Starting point is 02:24:41 as they can before crashes and explodes. Their insurance premium is very high. Eren G is an animated guitar who plays humans. It's crazy when your reverse is situation, it seems barbaric. Eric be a tech savvy wizard who just upgraded their spellbook to a spell kindle. They have the same amount of slots, but they can prepare pretty much any spell and one John Grisham novel per day. Jury S. Bastion's best friend who nominated Bastion
Starting point is 02:25:05 to be on an episode of Queer Eye. Unfortunately, when the gang came to make over Bastion, Antony got bit by a knoll and the shoot got canceled at least he had tried, Jury. John W.G. and Irvilus, who makes a Bahumian equivalent of Niagara from the blood of Succubi and the tears of Revenants, Alucard, an actor who plays the captain of a fleet
Starting point is 02:25:24 of anthropologically minded airships on the beloved Bohumi and sci-fi show Sky Trek. Andrew R.A. giant, you know, besides Worm, who terrorizes a cavernous mound, but is actually a vegan. Their followers lay out to Ferkew Raps and Buffalo cauliflower wings, then do beat Joe Juice rituals to summon them, Baby Doc, which is short for Baby Doctorate. That's right, this tiny, tightest, for Baby Doctorate. That's right, this tiny tot is the youngest PhD at Bohemia Use, prestigious school of sociology.
Starting point is 02:25:49 They wrote their thesis on subtle classism and oppression and later on, it's public transportation system. And finally, Andrew A.A. fire giant firefighter, kind of a dexter situation where they're using their perversity for the greater good. Also, Andrew A. doesn't just put out fire, they straight up murder it. Thank you guys so much for listening. Head on Andrew A. doesn't just put out fire. They straight up murder it.
Starting point is 02:26:05 Thank you guys so much for listening. Head on over to the Patreon to check out our short rest. Patreon.com slash NAD pod. We'll be back next week with our Quick Biz Special. I need a glass of water. See you guys next time. That was a Hate Gum podcast. podcast.

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