Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 46: The Grizzly Prince (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: January 17, 2019

The Band of Boobs say goodbye to Jaina and the dwarves then travel through the crack in the material plane! Hardwon has a bad trip, Beverly gets out-goofed, and Moonshine falls in love with a tree woman. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Monster Beats" by Frankum at Freesound.org."Small Forest Stream" by CraftCrest at Freesound.org."Woodpecker and Other Birds" by Kyster at Freesound.org."The Court of the Bear Prince" by Emily Axford."A Soft Landing" by Emily Axford."Wooded Wonders" by Emily Axford."Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."A Humble Farmer" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome back to Bahumi, everyone. Bahumiya. Bahumiya. Nice. I like that one. Skintinumia. Bahumia. Bahumia. Nice. I like that one. Just getting it out. I felt threatened and aroused. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz.

Hard one, surefoot. Emily Axford. Moon Giant Sabin. Paramedic with the Pipstick. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. And called the old Tanner.

Beverly Togo of the fifth. Level nine, nice guy. Ooh. Oh, he's panning. Wait Togo the fifth level nine nice guy Wait your level. Oh, yeah, you're a guy now. Yeah, that's right. I thought you I leveled up he's become a guy not a man not in a man, but a guy a 16 year old guy Not 16 holy counting down the. Are you only 15? I'm 15, I mentioned that. Right, you're looking more like a guy every day. We need to have best sweet 16, yeah.

Are you gonna make your voice slowly change and get deeper? Beverly's sweet 16 is a great live show set up. Oh my goodness. What I'll probably do is... When Cheyenne Simon is gonna cook so much for that. It's gonna be too much jumbo-laya. I'm gonna get you a tighter biker. You better be your caterer.

If you hire some other caterer. I didn't know you could make a cake out of jumbo-laya, but you did. You don't want croquettes? They're cupcakes, but they got little... I see cake. They're good. You really want to say for a cake.

I don't know how it's holding its form. Yeah. On all brown cake. There's a bully-wug in here waiting to burst out. Yeah, you take a little cornmeal, a little bully wug meat. All right, that sounds good. Only the bad bully wugs though,

only swamp bully wugs. Yeah, that'll bump in your ass. But the band of boobs did level up to level nine. Woo! After last week's epic session. Woo! At that tip. At that tip.

At level eight, level one. Yes, a level eight druid and a level one barbarian. Yes, a level eight drew in a level one bar bearing. Yes, I did take a drew in level. Our friend, Moonchan Sibon. Yes, I know that stands in the way of me getting a second attack. It's a very smart thing to do. I know.

Yes, we got time. Okay, guys. I want that second attack. Let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys confronted Ackarot at the peak of Mount Forge and faced off against his henchmen, the undead white dragon and the hollow body of the pale prince. When the latter first appeared, holding the King's Hammer, Will Helm Bronzebeard cast

a level 8 earthquake spell, causing the hammer to be flung off the mountain and half of the mountain to crumble. You chased the King's Hammer down the mountain, rode the dragon, and defeated all the baddies, including a rust and will-home bronze beard, who died scattered on the rocks. The Worsties. Vindication.

Finally, hard one wielded the King's Hammer and summoned the spirits of the Dwarven Kings who protected you as the mountain came down around you. Hard one then had a vision where he saw Gemma, now an angel of the Forge, who informed him that she wouldn't be seeing him anytime soon because she sent Jaina back to save him. She also hinted that there could be a future for them if he were to dedicate himself fully to the Dwarves and ditch Cord. Get cuffed. He was a little non-middle though. I think that's good. Cored teams dope, and I don't wanna

fucking close the door on them yet. I'm a hot human dwarf, way in my options. You're seeing multiple gods right now. You guys all came to- I'll be a stick and polyamorous. You guys all came to being pulled out of the rubble by Jaina Bronzebeard and her allies. There with the SS Stormborn, you had some Coco and got warm, then finally used the King's

Hammer to break Ulfgar out of the prison gem, and that's where we are now. So you guys are aboard the SS Stormborn with Jaina Bronzebeard and Ulfgar. Sure, it's a pinata all around us. Yeah, you guys had the Ulfgar jam inside the pinata. Ulfgar burst it out. He super-amped up to fight. All right, let me add them. Let me add the chosen worthy hats. Oh, man, I'm real tired right now.

Yeah, we had a bit of a day. Because you're done, who wants to wrestle? Oh, I've been stuck in it. I need to get my choice right. Oh, I've always like a one hit point done, who wants to wrestle? Oh, I've been stuck in it. I need to get a 19 or higher. Yeah, there you go. Well, Mouchain. So, I got a 24 though. Oh, 24. You guys hold him, my own.

Mouchain, Mouchain, like, drops low and, uh, Oafgar has to get lower and do, like, an ankle pick and take her down, but it takes a while and he's like, shit, you're, this is how you were after a whole day of fighting. Yeah, what level do you say you were? Level 20 why? Yeah, excuse you.

He's been in a gem for a minute. Hard one, I feel like the floorboards are just not gonna last if we keep doing this. What's wrong with the floorboards? Can we slowly transition from regular wrestling to pro wrestling? Yeah, it starts to get a little bit more aggressive. It's like two brothers fighting.

And at first you guys are laughing like, that's funny, that I'm level 20. And you said that I might not be able to. I want to turn heel. Yeah. I'm like putting ropes up around the side of the ship. Just in case somebody accidentally falls off. I use them to bounce into Ulfgar.

I'm Ulfgar proving the ship right now. I take out a ladder. The most elected by a woman. Munchan does the swan-ton bomb off the top of the ladder. Down on to Ulfgar. I'd man that a firmly. Ulfgar loves pro wrestling down at Iron Deaf. Believe nothing more. Also worth mentioning that didn't come up last episode, Toma survived. Woo! You see that Toma and Oscar are both on the ship. You like know the wolf died.

Yeah, they come up from below deck. You did the piano pinata without us. Oh sorry. I'm so sorry, I honestly thought. You thought we were dead, but you didn't check No, we thought maybe you wanted your rest. Oh, okay. It looks pretty hurt. I ruffle the wolves for I do the trick that I taught the wolf earlier nice, he Sits down and gives you its paw. Oh, looks up at you expectantly. I give him a treat. He takes a treat all right

It's an amazing beast to play a little dally and stuff like that. So yeah, so tell me explain to you that once you when you guys were like frozen and protected She saw what was up and kind of just hopped to a Peak that was not collapsing and just waited for all of it to blow over did the greatest thing and waited it out Yeah, well all the enemies were dead at that point. Yeah, she just chose not to die. Probably she think is fine. I think that's brief. Probably soon to be working. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. Hey, thank you so much. I appreciate that quote I've heard before. Yeah. Pop-hop read it to me off a pillow. Rare, we remember. I have pop-hop I was just holding up a pillow that just mowed to you and just jestering to it. Rian, rian, rian, rian.

So, what Jaina looks over at you, hard one, wielding the King's Hammer, the Coldain King's Hammer, glowing with blue frosty energy, and she goes, I don't know that Coldain is gonna be thrilled with a human holding the King's hammer, especially one that has no relation to him or Frostwind, but getting off guard back will probably, you know, sue this temper a little bit. All right, cool, yeah, if you can sell it to the king. Cool, so I'm just gonna go do it. Oh, yeah, we have, we got a run. Where are you going?

Where are you going? Where do you guys wanna go? Well, we got a lot on our, should I pull up the docket? Yeah, let's run out of the docket. Let should I pull up the docket? Yeah, okay? I'm in a headlock Of course you see yeah of course super sweaty walks over with a moonshine now just like real good buddies with moonshine has his arm around her Yeah, I say we march right into Galator on and just kick the all those ass Yeah, I mean I'm pretty pretty spry after the sush.

You are bleeding from so many places. Yeah, it's kind of fun to find new pores. I will agree that the allah needs her ass kicked. We might want to collect as many people and friends as we can, as many allies as possible. Yeah, this is true. Asked my spiking test toastaron from this rasslin comes down. There are some other things

we should consider. You see, Jane and Nodz and she says, I think given that the pale prince was used by acorats that should light a fire under the frost dwarves. And I think having Ulf Garback, I think we could potentially make a plea to the cold. Yeah, I think. Unite the dwarves. Yeah, I think unite the dwarves. Yeah, I feel like one King's Hammer for one legendary hero might be a pretty good trade.

Yeah, and, you know, we can kind of say we're just like borrowing it or leasing it. Barrowing. Leasing to own, you know. I whisper to hard one, I'll teach you how to write your name in it. Oh, I gotta, yeah, I have to name this hammer. Oh yeah, King's Hammer's kind of a dumb name. Yeah.

I already named it. I already named it. Hey, Jane and Ulfgar are super offended. What do you mean, a dumb name? The King's hammer rules. It's a little first though. If you don't like it, I'll have it. I don't know, what about Smashbow?

I'm just saying when you pick up a pup from the rescue shelter, you don't just keep him named, you know, pepper. Pepper. Yeah. What was Papa's original name? When I got him from the shelter. Yeah, it was Jennifer. Yeah, Papa's a much better kid.

A lot, guys, with Papa. Oh, rare. You sweet. You've been through so much. I had no idea. Jaina, I got a real quick question. So we got a bag full of liabilities and morally gray characters keep trying to swipe our suites

from us and make deals that shouldn't be done. We've got all this cursed belongings and we'd like to sort of do something about that. Do you have any advice in that category? We could throw them at the gash. That sounds like a... Now you're just throwing spaghetti against the wall There seems to get it in the bag. Well, I don't personally have The remove curse spell. Okay. I'll see I see all right. I just you know, you're such a wise woman So I wanted to oh thank you hard one chucks the devil book at the cat

Portal the hell opens you're all killed. Oh, shit. We'll start pouring out. You do see Jaina, next idea. Quickly now. Hold on. I go to my bag and I pull out my pallid and spell book. I pull out my dusty green teen tome and I find a spell further along than I've ever looked called Remove Curse.

At your touch, all curses affecting one creature or object in. If the object is a curses magic item, it's curses remains. Well shit. Oh, okay. Okay, I close the book. Well, I thought... Yeah, that was real awesome. You got everyone's attention.

What's it mean? Gather round. I throw my green teen, that was real awesome. I thought you got everyone's attention. What's it mean? Gather round. I throw my green teen book into the gap. All-car gives you a dead arm. What the fuck was that, kid? Ow! What's damage you take for a dead arm for both cars? That is such a mean spell, though. It's called remove curse. It's called remove curse.

If the object was cursed, the curse remains. It says all-curses affecting one creature are object in. If the object is a curse magic, that's such a specific wording. I think it's like if somebody casts a curse spell on you. I got you. I got you. All right, well, fun to know anyway. Yeah.

But it doesn't like reduce the tangent. Dracula's spirit from a sword or something like that. Well, I got to read a book, so it's not a bad day. Okay, so here's an idea, first idea, as long as we're throwing this big idiot against the ship. You know what, let's see, let's see what's cooked and what's not. Maybe in a jane and an olfgar,

you guys rally the frost wind dwarves. We've got some friends that are somewhere in the Feywild. In the wind that we think might be able to help. Yeah, we know a real competent crew in the Feywild, and if this gash could provide passage to such a wondrous place, we may just throw ourselves against the gash. Everybody, go ahead and give me a perception check.

Mm. I got a not natural but a 20. Okay. Jaina's ovulating, is that what it is? Yes. She is also fertile, yeah. not natural but a 20. Okay. Jaina's ovulating? Is that what it is? Yes. She is also fertile, yeah. I've got it for, I think he's probably still tired

from watching hard one kill that dragon. Okay. Munchine. I don't know. Tired from the dragon. Munchine, you begin to hear Rosaline whispering. Excuse me, y'all, I gotta take this. Munchine holds the sword like a mom between her shoulder.

Yeah, a pinch of between while I'm cooking. Yeah, off guard and Jaina look very confused as to what's going on. But you can't make out exactly what the words are, but you do know just logically that the people who had the swords were dirling and uncle duck and they are in the Feywild. So this crack in the material plane is...

Okay, see if you get more bars towards the material plane. Yeah, I'm gonna walk around the ship and see if I can get better service. Do I? As you walk to the very edge of the ship, closer to the gash. You have Jaina and hard one fly the boat a little bit closer to the gash and whispers are slightly louder. Yeah. I'm gonna get a bunch of more piñatas and we'll see if you can crit on one of them and that'll increase the ability for it to scribe. I think that might not be I think that if I if I crit I get to make a whisper sword. Okay. However, y'all, I think that we are closest to the Feywild that we're gonna be, say from like meeting a Fey

who wants to take us on a trip. That's very interesting. We tried to. You have a lot of pinatas under the boat or something. Yeah, I did more. It's, it's a hobby. We do it on nervous. All right.

Beautiful. I've won a Veeach of you. And then one of our, each of our foes. You see it, all of our pipes up. And he goes, well, whenever I went to the Feywild, Alonus, you see he starts to tear up. My friend Alonus. OK.

What? Friend or a little something more? I rub his quad quad you rub his quad Maybe one time Okay, I don't want to talk about it. He stares off principally boundaries. I'm learning. Yeah She Would teleport us there, but she had to speak words and Sylvan She would need to say open the door and Sylvan

You know any Sylvan who She would need to say open the door in Sylvan. You know, any Sylvan? Who knows Elvis here? I do. Sylvan, them Hifalutin, them Hifalutin, Elvin folk, they speak. Everything they say sounds like they're speaking in cursive. Yeah, I don't know it personally.

I don't know common in Dorven, but I don't read either one. I can give it a shot. You don't know common in Dwarven, but I don't read either one. I can give it a shot. I can give it a shot. You don't read? No, fuck reading, man. It sucks. Yeah, dude.

Well, I just, I'm literally immediately came around. I was like, I'm gonna learn how to read now. It's a lot of work. I've got a double burrow. Yeah, he taps you. Of course, like a nice meet-head, but he's still a meet-head. I just think that like reading is its own adventure in a lot of ways.

Off-guard, you can't get a little of this guy. Get out of your man. Huh. I mean, I know that that aren't. Sometimes when we would be sitting around the fire, a longness would teach, I know I'd read a little bit because you would, you know, take, take down to teach me how to read. Pinyata Hard One is a lot nicer sometimes.

All right, well, um, yeah, I got one is a lot nicer sometimes. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah, I got this under the under control. I'll do it. Cool. So Bev and Moonshine, go ahead and give me like a history check to see if you can kind of piece together because Elvin and Sylvan is pretty similar. I got a 10. Okay.

I got a 12. You guys got a 10 into 12. You guys. Together, that's a 22. Open the got a 10 in a 12. You guys, together that's a 22. Open the door. Open the door. You guys try to... You guys try to say it in Sylvan, and it's not quite coming out right.

You guys are probably gonna need to like spend the night, do a little study, and then come back the next day. Let's hit the books. Alright, pop- Papa, this you. Rainier. Papa pulls out a book and starts. You're ready, he's got his book. Papa's doing like a Sylvan workbook.

I think now is Sylvan for intermediates. That's an inclusive and moan cursive. I think now is the perfect time for us all to have a little grammar lesson. And I pull out, getting Sylvie with Sylvan. Ooh, getting Sylvan with it. Okay. So you guys all sit down.

Jaina lands the boat for the night. Easy, easy, pack it up. All right, okay. Yeah, all right. She's an natural six inches light touch here. Is this good? Because Lieutenant Naiman here says he used to fly the airships back in Galatoron.

Oh. And yeah, Naiman walks over, he goes, yeah, I did it for like 10 or 12 years. How long have you been flying airships? Um, how long you say? 10 or 12 years? Yeah. I was 14 or 20 years. Oh, yeah.

You take it. That was silly of me. Silly of me to try to help. Mm. He got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, he got his life, You take it that was silly of me silly of me to try to help Fashion to the rocks a bit as you try to go down. That's good. That's what the buffers there Fire one puts his hand boat hard one unnecessarily guides it down as like Jane and David are trying to but I just go 12 o'clock One hand 12 o'clock maybe you guys park it on the side of the mountain here And you guys take your long rest for the night.

Is there anything you guys would like to do as the sun sets and us? I'd like to see how my nanorflies are doing with the frost flies. The nanorfly ate the frost fly. So I still just have one nanorfly. Yeah. Oh, life is tragedy.

You guys probably go down kind of below deck so you're not freezing. I put the iPhone in the cup All right, y'all we're doing this I crack one I crack a I crack a decaf crick water. Oh, yeah I don't want to stay up, but I do want to get fucked up. Yeah, I like an uproam. I'm gonna go caffeinated Creekwater double fisting. Oh, can we play Creekbunk? Creekwaterbunk? Oh, Creekcup! Okay, you play, yeah, I'll, uh, Creekcup. Creekcup!

You guys are gonna play Creekcup. Okay, so we'll say, um, we'll say Maddie Big Critts, Ulfgar and Jaina against you three. Okay, are you rolling for this? Oh, yeah, you're rolling for this. Okay, so you guys all line up the table. You see at first, like, Jayna is very by the books and everything. And she's like, she's already been filled in by Gemma. So she knows about, she's like, come to terms a little bit with like the treachery

of her family. She's been like dealing with that a little bit. Oh, did we let her know better than that? About him scattering on the rocks. Kind of up to you. She hasn't happened yet. Okay, we'll bring it up later. Let's click her cup now.

But she starts drinking with you guys. You guys all start drinking. I'll start getting a little funky. Here's what we'll do. Appletics. We're gonna do athletics checks, but we're gonna do it like flip cup. We're like going older that we're like,

it goes until somebody beats it. Oh shit. Oh, that's good. Our room wants to be the anchor. All right, so Jaina has a plus eight to athletics. She's gonna go first for their team. Wow. Is Bev going first then?

Yeah, I can go first. I got plus four. Okay, ready? So we are just gonna keep rolling until we beat a DC 20. Okay, so it's just one on one right now. All right, then you move on to the next person. Go on down. So it's Jaina. I'm on like a little Apple box, by the way. Okay, see it's just one on one right now. All right, then you move on to the next person. Going down. So it's, I'm on like a little apple box, by the way.

So, okay, see the table. So it's gonna be Jaina, the Maddie Big Crits, the Ulfgars that anchor. Okay, and we have Bev Munchain, hard one. Okay, so we are going to, so right now, just Bev and Jaina are gonna roll. And we just roll until we get a 20. Okay.

And then you flip the, you flip the crit cup. Okay, ready? Three, two, one, go. She did it, she flips it right over. That is Maddie Big 16. Oh, that's 20. Woo! That's moonshine.

I got it, 23. That goes on a hard one, Maddie. Hard one flipped. You're getting it. 21 on the food. Oh shit, take that big crit. You see Jane has buffing up his chest. Jane and Olga are both give batty big crits dead arms.

Get out of here, we need a tour. Rest and get over here. We're those crits now. Oh, so the happiest, you know. Everyone forgot that I'm just like a regular guard who crit one time, I got the name baddie big where those crits at I don't have any more crits, okay? He quits the crits in the walks away.

Oh shit get this guy some decav Crick water, right? See you guys party a bit, but you do spend a decent amount of the night I'm assuming like you know you go through Bebs books stuff. You guys have some information on Sylvan and everything. Oofgar told you that you needed the words for open the door. Yeah. We do like a dirty Bible study. Yeah.

So we'll see you at the Bible study. Woo! As you guys go through, go ahead and give me history checks like through the night. We'll see how long it takes. Oh shit, not 20. You got a not 20.

Oh nice. Hard one. You can only read like a few words, not 20. You got a not 20? Oh, nice. Hard one, you can only read like a few words, but you are like cheating a little bit. You have like the spirits of the dwarven kings whispering in your ear, and they point out the words open the door. I sort of like that I could be a poet if I didn't think it was lame.

Yeah. So to spark in you, you guys are able to translate a Sylvan text, the words open the door and you find out that the words are Adre a fe. Adre a fe. I think I'm gonna privately be practicing writing this because I think it's pretty cool, but it's kind of like a shy private on the side. Adre a fe.

Adre a fe. It's more of a trill. It's kind of like a shy private on the side. A-d-ray-a-fay. A-d-ray. A-d-ray-a-fay. It's more of a trill, it's more of a, A-d-ray-a-fay. A-d-ray-a-fay. That's what we're doing. That we're doing. I thought it was a J.

We're doing the rain and spay. D-ray-a-fay stays mainly on the plane. Bev is putting a bunch of books on his head and balancing. It's probably not necessary, but posture is important. Yeah, that guy's fucked up, dude. You see you doing all of this ballinor walk-sofer, and he goes, I'm here too. Notice nobody invited me to play a flip-crick. You were playing solitaire in the corner. You looked happy. I was hoping somebody would interject and invite me. You're all shocked on this. All right. He sticks to screwdriver and a beer and fucking pound it.

Wholefgarr gets super pumped and starts shaking him. Fix him up and starts shaking him. Please don't do that. I'm gonna throw up. Boundore, I just want you to know, if we go to the Feywild, we're gonna meet my real dad. And I don't want things to be awkward between us, but you

know he takes priority in the dad order the fact they call them your real dad and not your birth dad is a pretty telling son. Oh, Vallor, you know something like that? No it's fine, hey you know. Vallor, you'll always hold our backs. Yeah. Alright, at least I have that. Yeah.

I'm gonna go sleep. Those are your children. I'm gonna go sleep to the parents. Good night, Bobby. I'm gonna catch the bag. That might be the name of this son in the Balkans. It does a very Austrian, but. I'm gonna work on like a summary to tell my dad about the stuff that's happened because he probably won't believe us.

I know, I'm just one last thing. How are Papa's cuticles looking? They're a little jagged. His nails too are like, he's got a little bit of free dough now. Oh, it's curling. Yeah, he's got, he's clacking as he scrambles. I'm doing a quick, I'm doing a quick man.

I'm doing it right now. He fights ya. He's got him so much hair at this point, but like he just goes back to his scramble bull days right now. I know it's not fun, but sometimes we have to do this high. We have to do this high. He's like, Laura, you're like me when someone makes me take a shower. Right here.

Oh, of course, how do people in the Feywild normally dress? What's kind of the wardrobe there? Ah, socks, they're super fancy. Fancy, you say? Yeah, so like coveralls instead of overalls Yeah, like silk fine silk fine silk boy. All right Shit, I was thinking like kind of cut-offs and boas and stuff. Yeah, I was thinking like I think that would be Rad is kimono

Crowns flower crowns that begin crowns, they're bringing to that. That is wearing only scarfs. Culturally insensitive moccasins. Hardware puts on his fancy pants, I guess. There you go. The skinny jeans. Yeah, the skinny jeans. Yeah, can we say that?

Oh, the only shine has some silk overalls. Sure. Oh, awesome. That sounds really cool to me. I'm gonna go skinny pants and and vest with no undershirt, unbuttoned. Ooh, I'm going silk overalls and brawlet. Beverly takes his green tuxedo from the ball in Frostwin,

and a does cut off shorts on it. So he's got a schoolboy look, and he's got a big flowing yellow silk scarf. It's like a flat, you can't see it from the side. I put two apples in either side of my pants to fill it out. Apple bottom. That's what that means. Yeah you guys just make sure you're careful there.

It's tricky. Oh, it's tricky. I've heard and Ulfgar you can correct me if this is just Wid it's tricky. Oh, I've heard, and Ulfgar, you can correct me if this is just widow's gossip. But I've heard that we shouldn't eat anything, right? Because you could get tricked into staying there forever. It's kind of like hell and Greek mythology, right? You could be a debt to someone for taking food,

unless you like clear it up with them. All right, Valnor, get the bag ready because I'm making Tupperware. So, Zallini, to transfer four hours, the four hours that they're sleeping, I'm in full cook mode, I'm making Tupperware, like we're just gonna be eating out of the bag the whole time. All right, we're just doing tuna. Yeah, we'll just double up on gorp. Awesome.

Okay. There is a lot of good food there though. So, he's like, he's like a guy who's been like Italy or something You've got to go to the summer court You've got to go to the court of the summer queen. What kind of thing? They have these you know, they look like little salads little greens, but just like the Freshest food you could ever have just the the most filling, but you just, uh, an elven wine, uh,

they have sliders? Any kind of slider, you could possibly imagine. Oh, that's, you have it. Holy shit, they have beef. Until you've had mini-tour slider. Ha, mini-tour slider. Oh, wow. That's a butcher shop's there.

Could I go shopping for some fancy meats? Oh, they have mini-t, Musataurus, Centaurus, all kind of tours. That seems like kind of like a guilty move. We were backing out of the food too. Maybe it's okay to stay there forever. I could back up some debt. You just gotta make sure you don't get like tricked.

You know? So there is food that we can safely eat. Yeah, sir. Don't worry, I'll stock purify food and drink. We should be fine. Wonderful. All right,. We should be fine. Wonderful. All right, yeah, but be careful. You might forget who you are or you might time passes

differently there. Hey kid, I'll mess you up. All right, sounds good. Yeah, cool. Sounds like a fun new chapter. It's awesome to be out of the fucking jam. I'm gonna go sleep in a bed. Yeah.

How big a bed do you need? He's a tiny little dwarf, no offense. Hard one, do you mind if I sleep in your bed by myself? Um, I'd be honored if you slept in my bed, but buddy, you're not doing it alone. Ah! Come on, everybody! One big bed!

One big bed! One big bed! One big bed! You get off-guard all psychs, because he's like a little bit drunk. Yeah. One big bet! One big bet! One big bet! One big bet! You get Ulfgar all psyched because he's like a little bit drunk. You guys all go to bed. Gina and Ulfgar just have the loudest fucking dwarven snores. Oh wow, I thought you were gonna fall sick.

Yeah, same. No. Which would have been fine by me. Yeah, like a 50% chance. I can make room for that on the one big bag. Sure. I'll sleep on it. Got to have a corner. So you guys go to sleep for the night. You wake up the next day.

Sun rises. You guys have all your hit points back. You have all your spells back. Etc. And you guys know. You're fucking leveled up. Yeah, and you guys are leveled up online. And you guys know how to enter the Feywild.

Cool. You know the password. Yes, we know the password. I want to talk to, I want to let Jane know about her father and rust. And before I tell her, I'm just going to have done my hat that gives me a plus to her. You know what?

I think you put that on, but I'm also going to take a page from Beverly's leaflet and making apology breakfast to try and encourage the healing. Yeah, sure. Yeah, so you guys wake up the next morning, everybody's got a little bit of a hangover. You see Moonshot makes the apology breakfast.

You guys are having so- Paul Spillin, I'm sorry in a bacon. Yeah, you guys are having a little... Paul Spillin, I'm sorry in a bacon, cause I don't know how. You guys are having like a little bit of an awkward meal. Jane and I never fully had a talk with you guys. She did some like really heavy cuddling with Ulfgar. She's like not sure if we heard. So she's eating breakfast and she kind of just

saunters over to you guys like casually and just goes, so Jim kind of filled me inters over to you guys like casually and just goes, so Jim kind of filled me in on some of the stuff with with my dad what was going on but did he like helped out in the end though right? He like you know in the end he all he cared about was your family. I'll give him that he cared about the bronze beard name and he did not want Acarurat to have the King Samor. Go ahead and give me a, I guess like persuasion check with advantage.

21. 21, very good. You see she's like legitimately comforted by that. And she goes, family isn't important, but the world is more important. I wish my father placed more stock in the every man as it were. Well, Jaina, I think we should take away from it.

Is that your father just really believed in you? And he had every right to. You're an amazing dwarf. Hey, thanks guys, but he did kind of have my sister killed. He's a piece of shit. Yeah, he is. He's a pull-out these shit. I wasn't sure if you were right in here.

No, yeah. But he raised it. He was a wheeze while I gave him multiple times. How did he go down? Did he go down hard? Yeah, it wasn't easy. Brains against the boulders. That's, I'm kind of glad.

You know, I want him to be at peace because he's my father, but I'm glad that he was scattered on the rocks. Yeah, it was. It was a piggyback accident gone wrong. Okay. Yeah. And I have nothing good to say about your cousin Rust. Oh, yeah.

I mean, fuck rust. Cool. I think that the bronze beard name is in. I even piece of bacon. I think the bronze beard name is is in good hands now though. Yes, I agree. Thank you. Well, we'll do our best to clear your name in Frostwind.

I was wondering since you're probably not going into the Feywild with us, could you forward a letter on to my family in Hillholm? Absolutely. Oh, yes. I just want them to know that we're okay and give my best to Erlin and uh, and all the kindleafs and tell my mom that uh, I'm going to get him. All of guys got us at a right here that. If you look at it, you see,

Allfgard looks like really upset with himself. If you are going by the post office, will you send something to Glade Home, checking in on my Mimaw? Yeah, I can't, I can do that too. Did you, you never met up with them, right? No, I turned around once I, when I finally got some sleep, uh, I understand. I understand. I understand.

Oh, and will you, uh, will you send a letter to, just kidding, I have no one. Hey, it's okay, you've got great friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all, and they're with me now. Hey, you can send me a letter. Uh, no, I can't, I don't have a letter. No, I, I mean, this is... Hey, but I'll be your dad. Quiet, Balda. It's a balda letter.

Send me a letter, bud. Come on. I took this cereal box and I cut a little slid in it so you can put mail in there anytime you want. Got my name on it, some hearts I drew. I put it in these abacanets. Oh, all right. Oh, thank you.

You see, Ulf Garb pulls hard one aside, and he goes, hey, I don't know what I was saying when I was drunk, but I put up a little bit of a wall with people, and I just wanna let you know that there's no shame and no one had a read and the pursuit of knowledge. It took me a while to learn that. It took me a while to figure it out, but I figured it out, but I thought I figured it out man. Yeah that I

Love walls You know you just put them up. Put them up. Yeah, they keep others out they keep you in nice and safe Yeah, that's what's up. Hey if you um if you happen to run into a lawnish while you're gone, just let her know. I say, what up? Which is from her friend? Just really? Give her a hand? Yep.

Cool. I'll let her know you said, yo. What's up? What's up? Hey, Oafgar, you might need this where you're going. I give them Jema the ass. Oh, how old, yes. Good. Offguard takes the axe and the flames crackle in his hands.

He goes, oh, they call me true axe for a reason. I'll do well with this. That's the truest axe you'll ever know. Thank you, brother. He gives you a big dwarven hug. Offguard, do you have any trinkets or, I don't know, just a little memory curious from Alonus that you could give to us so that you'll recognize us?

Oh, yes, that would be wonderful to show her that we've carried your favor. Yeah, anything to show like the long and storied history you have together? You guys, oh, oh, you guys wanna take your flesh, you're so red. Yeah, no. Are you sweating?

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, no, no, no, I can give you guys that thing. Yeah. That thing. I can give it to you guys. All right, take your time. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. You see he reaches and then he...

Do not jump off the ship. He like, he jumps into the snow below. All right, it only works from high up. I can't necessarily gust you to save it this time like I did last, remember? When last we parted, which was a long time ago, she gave me this to remember her. And he gives you a little vial.

It looks like a little like perfume thing. I take a w vile. It looks like a little like perfume thing. I take a wafed. You take a waft and you instantly feel like, come, it's this beautiful smell of flowers. And he sniffs the air and he goes, smells just like her. Yeah. It's like she's here. Maybe he's breath and lavender. That's amazing. Light. That's what she smells like. That's a good smell. Anyone that smells like that and his friends with you, that's amazing. Light. That's what she smells like. That's a good smell. Anyone that smells like that and his friends with you must be a good person. You see, he like forces back a tear through sheer,

like you see like a muscle twitch in his eye bags that pushes a tear back into his eye. I idolize him for that. Yeah. Moles up, moles Maltz up. Kill them high, build them strong. Kill them up. He pounds you guys up.

Nothing gets in. And then, Jaina goes, if you guys want, we can fly you as close to the crack on the material plane as we can. That would be delicious. I guess you guys will have to jump. Very helpful. You got it.

Take care of the way. We're pretty good at jumping and snow at this point. All right, we'll take the ship to Frostwind and we'll do our best to clear your name. I think Oafgar will go a long way in helping with that. Do you want any of these murder weapons or just incriminalizing things that we have? I don't want to tell her about the mithril armor. Why don't you keep them?

Okay, you know, mementos. Sweet. So you guys take off in the airship, you begin flying towards the crack in the material plane. You know the weather gets crazy up by the peak. So you guys can't get that close. And, um, Jane, it goes, you should probably say the words now.

Did you write them down? I did. Andrea. Andrea. Afe. Andre Afay. Andre? Afay. Andre. Afay.

Andre. Afay. Andre. Afay. Andre. Afay. Andre. Afay.

Andre. Andre. Andre. Andre. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. You guys. You guys. You guys all start singing a song. Hard one starts playing the woodblock. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, The weather at the peak of Mount Forge calms, and instantly a bed of grass grows at the peak.

The rest of the frigid north is still snowy. You see that in the distance, but it might as well be springtime in the area around the crack. So you guys, the weather clears up and you're able to fly up there and you guys are over this green gash. I fucking penciled out into the green gash.

Mochine jumps off. I take off my jacket revealing my vest with no undershirt. And I'm still wearing my cloak too. And I swan dive into the gash. You swan dive. You see Oofgard jumps after you goes, wait, they really like jackets there? But you already gone.

I roll up my blazer sleeves and I whistle and the plant growth forms a escalator for me and I ride down. Now as you just like ride down, move the escalator. After these guys have jumped down. So as you guys travel through the gash, let me explain what you might know about the Feywild.

So the Feywild is a land of beautiful chaos. It is a reflection of the material plane, meaning that the world share a lot of geographic similarities. But the Fey has much more magic and whimsy. Whereas Snowy Mountain sits in the mortal plane, you might find a lush green mountain full of fairy folk and dryads in the Fey. What? Oh yeah.

The two main political forces at work here are the Seely and the Unseely Fey. The Seely Fey consists of a ladren, the Fey's answer to high elves who change their personality and appearance with the season, gnomes, fairies, etc. While the Unseely Court consists of the more monstrous races like Goblin's trolls and femorians. The Seely Fey served the Summer Court and the Unseely served the Winter Court, but don't get it twisted. The Seely and Unseely do not fall neatly

into categories of good and evil. Okay. You are just as likely to run into a Seely Aladren who is willing to use you for some vain pursuit as you are to run into an Unseely troll who wants to eat you. So just trust no one. Trust nobody. Or trust everyone. Yeah, true. suit as you are to run into an unceilig troll who wants to eat you. So just trust no one.

Trust nobody. Or trust everyone. Yeah, true. Yeah, that's looking at the glass half full. We might need a cool troll. Hard one is gonna die. Cool. Ha ha.

The Feywild is a bit like a brother's grim fairy tale, equal parts beautiful and horrific. There are fairy princesses and magical talking beasts who ask riddles, but also some dude could just like steal the sun Or kill someone by breaking their heart. It's a mysterious place, so I won't reveal anymore Let's catch up with our heroes so you guys have just jumped through the gash. You begin falling As you plummet your vision gets hazy, but you see the sun moving the sky It was just late morning, but you see the sun the lower and go back to sunrise. It's almost as if you've gone back in time, and then you blink, just as you crash into the ground, but there's no pain, your vision clears in your eyes, adjust as you see you've

landed in a flower bed, at the base of what was Mount Forge. The snowy plains of the frigid north are now a field of flowers that stretches all the way out to what would be the Valley of frigid death in the mortal plain. But here, the mountains are frallicking hills with tall green trees. You can just make out that a river runs through the valley just like in the mortal plain.

Beverly unzips his zippable cargo pants. You are now wearing cargo shorts. Yes. And you see that there are like roses and lilacs and all these different kinds of sweet smelling flowers. And you see one sunflower looks up at you guys and has a little face and goes, hi.

Are you the mayor? Yeah. Oh. I knew it. We're always greeted by the mayor. I get down on one knee. I'm a gracious mayor. Thank you for your help me governance. Help me. The mayor needs help.

We will help you. Obviously help you. I can be persuasive. I'm stuck in the ground. You pull it out. It instantly turns into a troll and then just starts booking it away Thanks! Wait, oh, I have to kill some pixies and furry food!

Hey wait! Oh no, I throw my juggling at it. I got a kerning You're gonna get a rolling hit shit I'm gonna... Yeah Ooh! Alright, crit

I almost crit, I got a 22 I did a little crit. I got a 22. I did a little crit. I got a six. Hey, guys, you got to stop trusting people when they say they're the mayor. You always trust a flower. Yeah, I had not seen that go wrong. It's in the green teen book.

It says that, those very words, but I don't know. I'm feeling skeptical. So yeah, you guys, Munchain picks this flower out of pity. This is a nice little sun flower. That was just, hey, hi. Instantly turns into a troll and starts threatening the fairy folk. So I guess sunflowers are the gnome of the Feywild.

I start stomping on sunflowers. It's so hard when you set you through your javelin. Yeah, that's sunflower. Go ahead and either throw your javelin or you can run forward and just make a hammer attack if you'd like. I guess I'm going to use, I'm going gonna throw my javelin and use the lightning damage. Okay, it does But first I'm going to reroll that too with the luck point. Hey, hey, show that to the two crew 24 24 super hits. Yeah, you see this troll is like this big green monster with like claws so different from the sunflower

It's like this big green monster with claws so different from the sunflower. It's just like starting to lumber away. Do we know, is it a fatrol or is it a troll that we would have seen in Bohemia? You've not seen a troll in Bohemia, so. Oh, interesting. Wow. So it's bad to see your creature journal.

It is gonna do a deck saving throw to try to knock it hit by the lightning. He rolls a three. This thing's having a bad time, so it's 46, right? Yes. So, 5d6, essentially. So first act in the Feywild, picking a flower, it turns into a troll.

It runs off, you throw a javelin into it's back and lightning explodes. Three fives on this. We like to make a splash. Oh, you have a sunflower. Oh. That's gonna be singing that for the entire while 34 damage You throw the javelin it jammed through this trills back explodes with lightning you see it fries a bunch of the flowers around it

All right, those are all those are all trolls We're all of you trolls Those are all trolls. We're all of you trolls? Oh, some of them were other things. Oh, no. That is Moonchine's turn. All right, I think he's not worth more than a can trip. So I'm just going to thorn whip him, try and bring him back here.

OK, I'll say he's about 30 feet away, because that's what his speed was. So he started to run. Perfect. And that's going to definitely hit. That's going to be a 25. That hits. All right. He's gonna be a 25. That hits. All right.

He's only taking two damage, but he's getting whipped back. 10 feet? Yep. Okay. Yeah, yeah, so I'm whipping him back. Moonshine wraps a thorn whip around his ankle and pulls him back. What, you freed me?

What did you want? You didn't to ask me. Well, you freed me. You just said help me and you looked like a sunflower. You said you were gonna help me. Yeah, you're performing trickery. God damn, it's already begun. It's so nomish.

This is, that is Beth's turn. Are you a bid gnome? Are gnome's big here? I'm a troll. There's tons of gnome's all over the place. What's a troll? We have to get out of here. Oh no.

We job out and go fight the chosen. Help us. He's all the other flowers are yelling help help me Is he is he prone? No, he's just been pulled back all right. I want to jump on him and Cast moonbeam. Yeah, go ahead and do an athletics check to get on him well Yeah, go ahead and do an athletics check to get on him Well I rolled a seven okay He got a natural 19 is strength pretty high so he throws you off before you can jump on top of him neat

I'm a strong flower get off me you added you crush you crushed like a beautiful little rose guy Oh stop help. I'm so sorry. are you in S.C. troll too? Nope, nope, not me. I'm not a troll, help! I have to help me! No, trust it. You have to help me! My hand is reaching for it.

Please, please help me. I put my hand over its mouth. I'm gonna be doing it! Try to see if there's anything else I can do on this turn. You can make it attack. Oh, well, you'll let me attack? Yeah, okay, I just attack then. I'll do an ensn it attack. Oh, well, yo, you'll let me attack? Yeah, okay, I just attacked then. I'll do an ensnaring strike.

Ah, go ahead. There we go, that's a 19. 19. Where are you guys some of those sealy fey? You wanna help out the fairies and the elves, huh? We are unaligned. I mean, I am an elf, but I've also met elves that I don't like. So, I spit on you. I spit right also met elves I don't like so. He spits on you.

I spit right back and I spit bigger and danker. That's their due, who you fully do. That's 13 damage. Shit, okay, that is Balnor's turn. Hey, I don't like your attitude. I've only read about Pixies and Faries and stuff in books to my son Bobby. But Bobby, write that down.

Someone that knows I'm right. I pretend to. He launches forward. Bounder hits on the first attack. Bounder's level eight now. Oh, shit. Bounder. And he hits on the second.

Do you have a little dad in there? Oh, shit. Bounder does 24 damage on his turn. He hits Bounder. Wow, Bounder. Excuse me. Troll is extremely hurt. Troll regenerates a little bit on his turn. Start to come back.

Regenerate? This is like a magic gathering troll. He's probably drawing power from these flowers. And then he's going to swipe down at Boundor, I guess. I'm going to kill your little dad. No, you're not. He misses on the first attack. He is going to miss on the second attack. Yeah. But he does hit on the third attack. What kind of weapon does he have? He's got two claws in a bite.

So he hits with one of the claws. He only does nine damage to battle. Okay, our level eight dad is fine. Yeah, back around a hard one. Our back dad. Let's see how this thing works. I start swinging my hammer. Hell yeah.

I'm gonna hit him. Try to. Shout out to the two crew. That's a 12. That does not hit. Alright, get in the hangers. Get in the first place to it. What is that dome hammer? Toss it to my left hand see if this one works might be ambidextrous

19 19 hits So a decent a D6 of cold a D10 of bludgeoning 18 damage Hard one finish him. I'm gonna Knock him on the ground and then stop on his head like I should have done to the flower. Yeah, yeah. You stamp him out like a bully ruining somebody's garden. And you guys are out of combat. You blow up this troll's head. Oh, did you kill him? I thought we were going to like ask him what the hell he was doing.

Sorry about that. I'm sorry. We could pick another sunflower. Yo, I got a tiny lawnmower. Should I just... Help us. Should I just... Okay, we should ask one, right? Here, let's talk to it.

What do you need to be helped with, young thing? I need you to pull me out. Why? I cast a photo of truce. What do you really? Ooh, yeah. Guys, that's true, that's a flower, hell yeah. It's about time.

All right, finally it's moved. Okay, I think they all have to pass. Let me look at the photo. Yeah, all of them are gonna have to fucking speak the truth. No, not all. No, it's a 15-foot radius sphere. Okay, so a bunch of them. Yeah, until the spell ends, a creature that enters the spell's area

for the first time on a turn, or starts to turn. Oh my god, this is so fun. Must make a charisma saving throw. On a failed save, a creature can't speak, it deliberate lie while in the radius. All right, it is a full, like, feel the flowers. You do a 15-foot cone. They're all just yelling different things. It's just labyrinth. Okay, I'm in the radius. All right, it is a full like feel the flowers. You do a 15 foot cone. They're all just yelling different things.

It's just labyrinth. Okay, I'm telling the truth. I'm a good guy. I'm like you. And that's the only guys. I'm a troll. Okay, if you're a troll, raise your pedals. You see some of them do, some of them don't.

We stop, I stop on the pedal once. Yeah, we stop all the pedal once, but those guys might have just passed their, they might have just passed. They might have done once. I mean, the troll once. Yeah, we stopped all the pedal once, but those guys might have just passed their, they might have just passed. They might have done what. I mean, the troll wasn't that bad. Maybe we take one of these ones who's saying they're on our side and then just pluck them.

Okay, I'm gonna go one by one. You there, I pointed one of the sunflowers. Are you a troll? Yep. Let me see, guys. Stop. That means this one's cast is everyone. You know whether the creature succeeds or fails on it saving throw

I did they succeed he failed he failed so we told the truth Yeah, okay, okay Wait, no, he said he is a troll. He is a troll. Okay. Hey, why are some of the sunflowers trolls? They're all trolls Some of them back in. Why are you trolls? I don't know, why are you you? But you realize you're not a troll right now. You've been cursed.

I'm cursed. Who cursed you? Will you help me? Yeah, if you tell me. I ain't in the zone of truth so I can do whatever I want. Okay, I was cursed by one of the fairy knights and points a little pedal back by the mowing. This is just goddamn silly. Back by the fairy mountain forest. Parallel universe.

Yeah. I was cursed by one of the free fairy, one of the free fairies. Now you have to help me or you can't leave. What's the free fairy? You made a promise. You made a promise in the Feywild. Oh, mother fuckers. Wait, no, I plugged it.

She did. I plugged it. I plugged it. I'm gonna go kill that guy. I'm gonna tag him, no one will tag him. I'm gonna go kill that guy. I'm gonna tag him, no one attacked him. I'm gonna go kill that guy on that mountain. He runs off course then. I mean, a lorous bead, my friend.

I attack him though. I didn't make a promise to anybody. She can also attack. She just said she was gonna help him. She didn't say she wasn't gonna kill him. I am worried about the trickery of the face so I'm gonna set this one out. Okay.

I think we should kill him. Y'all feel free to kill him. I wanna ask another flower question. Hi. Hey, have you seen a bunch of halflings I want to ask another flower question. Hi! Hey, have you seen a bunch of halflings anywhere around here? What's a halfling? Somebody looks like me and they're probably adorned in brilliant emerald colors, starry present, pallor, and the green nights.

Beth, I've got an idea for how to contact the green nights. Oh, the scrying sword? No, it's something else. Oh, that's a good idea also. Mine is way stupider. Go on. All right. No, do the stupid idea.

Hold on, we have a lot of stupid ideas we want to do. But first, have you seen anyone that looks like me around here? Yeah, you're a gnome. I see gnome sometimes. I'm not a gnome. That's very offensive. Extremely offensive. No, just set.

You look like a gnome to me. I just stop on that flower. Yeah. It goes down. Help me. Hi. Another row just speaks on that flower. It goes down. Help me! Hi! Another rose just peaks up.

Hi! Help! Hi! Oh, this is exhausting. You guys do know that the planes mirror each other. So right now you guys are just in the fucking boonies. Oh, so if they mirror each other, we can go literally to the church. You can go to go later. Oh yeah yeah, okay. That's a good idea. That's a good idea

I but so my plan bed was I have I stocked sky right and I was just gonna maybe like write something in the sky I mean do that. Yeah, I mean I'm gonna do that message you want to send to your dad right now You are you are in the equivalent of like Iceland and they are in Brazil. Okay, so maybe maybe I was premature two stocks guy right? Same sky though. You guys are where the frigid north is. Okay, where's my father's bazar oh ship. What? Whoa, is there a parallel ship?

Parallel airship? No, you don't get like your stuff. You guys have to like get to the you guys have to find You know see if there's another village or see if there's a way to get across across the water or whatever But if you guys want to get to Galator on you guys have to get from Feywild for Jed North to Feywild Galator on whatever that may be alright hard when starts us skulking towards The city and saying I wish we had a steed or a moose or something.

Oh, I turn into a moose! Woo! I turn into a super hot pregnant moose. I cast fine steed, sweet. And I also, once I have my steed, which, oh, I want it to be like one of the moose from annihilation. So it's like, it's like Albino, but it's got flowers growing on it.

I see that and immediately modify my wild shape to reflect that, but I'm still pregnant. Natch, so Bev, in the Feywild, you call this moose and a moose tour appears. This half man, half moose, who's got just like this rippling body, but a moose face and moose horns. Oh, hi.

Hey there, Boot. What's up? What's your name? Reggie, Reggie, did you get my phone call? Yeah. I was kind of expecting someone with a little more of like a slope to their back that I could ride on. Okay, look a goal away.

You see, he disappears. Wait, Reggie. Reggie, no. You seem dope. Oh, I knew about your attitude. Reggie, the bartender.. You seemed dope. I wasn't about your attitude. I wasn't about your attitude. Reggie, the bartender. I knew Mooshie.

I wasn't. Reggie, the bartender at the Blue Man Inn. Everyone here has a mirror in the kitchen. Arcade related. Oh shit. A regular Mooshie shows up. Okay. Hi, are you Reggie also?

Huh. Okay. Well, you can talk because I've summoned you. You're a spiritual being, so I can talk to you. I prefer him just grunting. Okay. No, no, no. Maybe you just don't talk. That's fine. You don can talk to you. I prefer him just grunting. Okay. Maybe just don't talk. That's fine. You don't have to talk.

I'm jogging alongside Reggie asking how many crunches he does. He's gone. Okay. Bring Reggie back. How do we ring? I hop on Reggie 2 and chase after Reggie 1. Reggie, he's gone. He disappeared.

Okay. Dang it. All right, I hop on Moonsh gone. He disappeared. Okay. Dang it. All right, I hope I'm moonshine. You hop on moonshine. Bev and Balmour hop on the moose, and you guys start traveling through the field of flowers south towards where you know this. I want to like spiral out so that we're just stomping

on as many flowers as possible. Oh, the flowers, as you guys start to move, they like bend moving out of the way. A few. I also think I don't necessarily think these fave folk who curse them are necessarily shining beacons of morality. No, surely not. I've decided I've made the split decision that I'm going to be neutral. Yeah, let's just talk to you. When you curse, those are neutral. Yeah. Where are you, Seely? You're just, are you evil and they're neutral?

Cause that's gonna help me. I mean neutral, I stomp it. He goes out. It's relative. Goes out. We're gonna try and just keep as many people from killing each other as possible. Yeah, I think so.

So you guys travel south through this field of flowers. You're hit with the scents of lilacs, cardinias, roses, every sweet smelling flower imaginable of these flowers who have committed terrible crimes, honestly. Disgusting. It's some dirt and mud. Is this a prison?

I think we're in some sort of beauty. Sort of. So the flowers, the flowers are kind of moving to the side, parting to give you guys a walkway. And you make your way south to the valley where a lush forest covers rolling hills. Running between the hills is a river, bright blue and glowing, a little bit of steam comes off of it. Ooh, I got toe in it. It feels like a hot tub. It feels very nice. And you see inside it, there are all these bright colored fish, like purple and yellow and orange. I'm grabbing Moonshine by the horns,

trying to get her to back up. Yeah, she's a fucking Moonshine right now. A pregnant Moonshine. You dip your hips. Whoa there. Whoa there. It's nice. It's like a pregnant. I need a break.

It's just a perfect temperature. I'm gonna go ahead and cast, it lasts for 10 minutes. I'm gonna cast protection from evil and good on, I think Mojang needs it more. Yeah, no, no, no, don't waste this bell on me. I'll just behave if that's the case. I just worry that everything seems tricky here.

I wanna investigate this part. Yeah, okay, all right. I'll behave, I retreat my here. I wanna investigate this part. Yeah, okay, all right. I'll behave. I retreat my hooves. Good girl. Good girl. You investigate. I bet Mugens antler.

I go into labor. Everybody, everybody go ahead and give me a perception or like an investigate check. Okay. Ooh, 26. It's going to be a 18, I believe, 16. Okay, you don't notice anything that weird about the river

other than it being beautiful and the fish being like kind of a natural. Like you see like some kind of like humanoid fish swimming through like mermaid type people like Murfok. Hi. No. Just like comes up. So rude.

Reggie too, what they say. No, no, no, no. No. Okay, all right. So let's vocal them the trick. So you guys are in the middle of this valley. There's woods on either side of you and these rolling hills.

This is I'd feel like this is like, this could be the background of a fucking check. Yep. You're currently on the west side of the river. Further to the west into the forest, you hear a loud buzzing sounds Sounds like a bunch of bees, or one very big bee. Jesus. One big bee. I sprint in the opposite direction. And to the east, and to the east, across the river, you hear a loot playing. I mean, alright, yeah, I just want to weigh in that the pay are Preveiers of tricks and it does feel us though

The enticing loot feels more like a trick to me. Yeah The bus, but what if they're counting on you knowing that they play tricks. So the the buzz is what it is And what is a wonderful one hard one? It could just be another giant bee playing a loot, but not buzzing currently. These are all great points. Y'all, we are intelligent, kind. I don't like, normally I'm the one that does goofs and there's just goofs going all over the place

and my goofs since is going off. That flower bed was insane. Now, the words just like so rocked. Yeah, are you overwhelmed? How's the street going on? You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take Papa out of my way. Oh no, I'm a moose right now.

Papa's in my beard. Okay, Papa, then take Papa out of your beard like Mufasa style and then he'll point the direction we should go in. Which way wise, Papa? Oh wise one. I'm gonna pop-up here's the loot pop-up likes the loot more than the buzz yeah can I pick the ear can I pick up the tune of the loot it just sounds like a beautiful song you do not know the song I try to harmonize with it with

my flute okay can I do a performance? Yes. That's going to be a 21. You start playing on your flute. You do you do a damn good job. Can I minor illusion my legs still look like fonds legs? Sure You minor losing yourself. You look like a little saying your production going on. Is someone called the theater critic? I can boost his impress You begin playing of Summer's Night's Dream. You begin playing along with the song, you find the key, you're able to match it. It's a simple melody and you're able to match it and it echoes through the valley and you hear the lute kind of matching your song. Like the little like

mistakes you're making, making it starting to match you I do like a raspberry with my mouth It doesn't do that back it does it goes toee tuning. I don't trust something that can't raspberry. It's true. That to me says enchanted loot. No mouth. Yeah. Could be a bee.

They don't got lips. Buzz time. After all this, No, I want to follow this through. I'm still cautiously approaching the loot. This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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the sound of the loot. You guys cross the river, no Murpho could grab you. They just come occasionally like one will pop out. It seems like they're trying to talk to you, but they're just like, just these horrifying beasts. I feel like we're in like a pretty version of Dante's Inferno. Yeah, you're in it. Or like I'm playing Breath of the Wild on acid.

Yeah. Essentially what the Fey Wild is, it's like the fucked up version of fairy tales. Yeah. Not like the Disney ones. Yeah. It's all just like people who got cursed for shit. God damn, this is a lot to put on our psychic load, especially for some, you know, an empath like myself.

Yeah. So you guys, um, enter the forest. It's gonna let that slide. You guys cross the river and you enter the forest following the sounds of the loot. You guys also notice you guys were in the flower bed before, you guys have traveled a couple miles. The sun has not moved from being a sunrise.

It is still a sunrise. It looks to be the exact same time of day. Probably fucking with you guys a little bit. So it's kind of like a good Instagram filter. Yes, yes. Just Instagram filter on life. So you guys travel through the forest, following the sounds of the loot, until you hit a clearing. The light from the morning sun pierces the cracks in the trees and bathes a soft bed of

grass and yellow light. You see lounging around, leaning against the trees are these beautiful dry ads. They have an appearance similar to female elves, but with aspects of trance. So their skin is green, they wear flowing skirts of leaves, and their long hair is made of leaves and flowers. There are five of them here. You see as they lean against the trees, their bodies milled into them to create the most comfortable position. They're just so chill right now. How, how shea are these fey? Even more shea than shea herself. I know. I think I need to play this right. So I'm going to choose the right moment to retreat as a pregnant moose, turn back into moonshine

and then like make a nice entrance. So I'm not doing it right now, but. Okay, so I'm still on your back. Yeah, you're still on my back. I'm gonna wait till the intro so I can be like fashionably late. So you guys are kind of like sneaking up and you hear the one who is playing the lute is singing a beautiful song. More beautiful than the one I'm about to sing.

But she goes, our prince, the prince of spring, sweet as honey, so the tree sing, strong as a bear, we have no care in the grace of our grizzly prince. Grizzly is going to be a bear prince. A beautiful song fair dryad. You enter this little clearing worth all these dry ads and they look up at you and they go Oh my god You are so fucking cool. Yeah, I'm gonna quickly in moose say I gotta go take a piss But in moose right and then leave go behind go behind a tree

Wild shaped bag into moonshine, and then come out and be like, hey y'all, what I miss, this is- Oh my God, are you like a regular elf? I'm a Crick elf. I don't know what that is, but that's fucking insane. Are you all, where are you from? You see they all gather around you guys?

Like, you guys are like the new kids that like talking to the popular girls, but like you guys will pop up there at your high school. We got kicked out of our old high school. Yeah, we got kicked out of the other plane. We got kicked out of the little plane. Yeah, I don't know how to read. You don't have read.

Yeah, we are smoking six, just doing whatever you want to do. We just like goofed a bunch of gods and did whatever we wanted. Now we're here. I'm not even a fawn. I was just goofing you. This guy also is in our daddy's just an old dude that hangs around us.

I don't even know what the fuck he's doing here. I'm just hanging out. Well, he's cute. He's really cute. Oh, you're out there watching so hard. Do y'all want to go from a hot wire pickup truck and pick up some news? Oh my god, that's we should introduce you to the Bear Prince.

The Grizzly Prince from your song? Yeah, can you teach me that song? That song is really good. Yeah, but like an idea. Oh my god, was that you that was playing? Yeah, that was me. That was so good. That was like the best flute I've ever heard.

But true. By the way, we actually, we heard this weird ass buzzing from the woods. Oh yeah, was that all that? Was it like a bunch of bees or one big bee? You guys heard the beacon. With a beacon? Yeah, that's so good. They get honey for the fucking and the honey goblins.

They all get honey for the bear prints. So everybody here is just sort of like doing shit for the bear prints. Yeah. We're not, I mean mean the bear prints is love like the bear prints just wants us to love each other and it's just fucking hang out You have it's just you have brain We have drugs do you want to do drugs with us? Absolutely, okay, she gives you Wait a second. I just had to ask you real quick I'm like, I'm like new to the fake.

Like, whatever. Just like, it's just gonna be like a fucking thing where if I take your drugs, like, we're gonna like, oh, each other something because I'm only asking you guys. She laughs, they all laugh. I really well understand. Oh my God, that is like summer accord and winter accord shit.

Okay. We are here, this is the forever spring we're here with the bear prince we just freaking hang out yeah that sounds like some cloud chasing summer court I was forced for was everyone I'm like yeah this seems like a bad decision but it's like one I'm gonna do unless one of you all talk me out of it no I'm down to do some drugs yeah no they said drugs hey these girls are hot yeah I'll play a re into them. I'll play designated driver on this one.

Bound or you go nuts. You deserve it. All right, bud. I'll be ready with the protection from evil and good spell. Okay. You don't sense like evil from them, right? Okay.

Evil, yeah. Line it up. All right. I got credit card if you got it. She puts a tab or something on her tongue and then makes out with you Moonshan. Oh, I'm a larynx. I scream a larynx the entire time.

Moonshan. Oh, Moonshan. Moonshan, Moonshan, Moonshan, Moonshan, you roll the four. Your intelligence suddenly goes up to 30. What? I'm gonna go from zero to fucking five. Yes, yes. Oh no, you have like a plus eight right now.

You are highly intelligent. But go ahead and roll another D6. Okay. Five. Five. Okay, but your wisdom goes down to one. So you're at like a minus five wisdom and like a plus eight intelligence.

So you suddenly just have all of this analytical. Does anybody like almost like a sociopath? Because that's like, you're on like speed, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have this insanely analytical mind where you're sitting here and you're like, well, you know what, we can use these people because these people don't belong to the seely or the unceely

fey. If we can get to, we need to find out where the summer court is, where the winter court is, what we can do there and all of that. And you've lost all of your wisdom. My makeup becomes super methodical. Oh. Like all the passions. You know what?

That's your trip. That's just your trip. That's cool. That's cool. Emulating what a person would do. And then they put a tab on Hard One's tongue and they put one on Bal Norse tongue. Go ahead and give me Roll D6. Two.

Your dexterity shoots up to 30. Suddenly you feel this insane spring in your step. Roll another D6. Woo. Oh, I like this drug. One. One, your strength is one. That's the one thing. You are like, you start doing like hand springs and you instantly start

like rolling elbows. You start hurting yourself. You can't do a single push up. You're just super skinny. You're like bone thin. Your skin is all baggy. Okay, so I'm having a fucked up time on this one. Meanwhile, Balnor got a one constitution and a 30 wisdom, so he just starts like meditating, but barfing everywhere and everything. I'm just bringing everyone water. I look at that and I'm like, that is Balnor's true self.

That is Balnor's true self. Re-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- Good stuff. Like this will maintain, like you will have rudimentary reading skills after coming down from there. Drugs are good. So after like a couple hours, it ends, hard one your strength returns. I instantly start doing push ups. But you were doing like crazy handsprings and everything. As I'm coming down, I'm like, why am I holding this book instead of making out

with that hot girl? I started out making out with a hot girl? I started out making out with the hot girl. I ended reading the book, reading sucks. And I throw the book. No, reading's cool if that's your trip, you know? 99, 100. Hey, it's okay. You're that was the drug.

You know, you were really dexterous there. That was awesome. Yeah. Guys, the Bear Prince would really dig you guys Can I get a little refresher on this bear prints? Tell me about him Here's but if I'm gonna go into someone else's core. I want to know like You know do I bow or do I need all laugh? The bear prints doesn't we just call him the bear prints. It's kind of like ironic

But we're just like free. we just do whatever we want. We're not like bound. I'd be coming a little less attractive. He likes the spring. The spring is just like a new start for everyone. Like a new start for everyone. Hey, I give Balnor and Moonshine a hard one some grilled cheeses that I made

while they were tripping. Oh my God, you put garlic in this. Oh, I just started. I'm much needed, though. I'm fucking covered in trees. You just started. I'm much needed though. Fucking coventure. You are a fucking saint guy. While they're housing those, I ask the dryads and questions.

What's your name, friend? My name's Triss. Triss, we are actually looking for some people. We're looking for some folk that look similar to me. You know, I'm like, a bitch. You're so cute. Oh, thank you. Yeah. If you want to tassel so cute. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

If you want to tassel my hair, I would love to do that. All right. Which is how it tassels your hair. I get a little jealous until I realize that they're kind of full shit. But we're looking for like a large group of people that look like me. You know, we're glad in this beautiful green color

and we have these big feet. Have you seen a pack of us around with the Grizzly Prince be able to help us? Here's the thing though dude. You're like so hung up on your past and like what you should be the... I've been seeing my dad! I'm trying to find my freaking dad okay? If you want to know something you should talk to the bear prince. Okay, alright I'm sorry I yelled. That was not chill. Hey, you know what, it's cool. If you need to get it out, get it out.

Like that's fine. Can I go up to the girl I made out with and ask what her name was? Was it Tris? Hi, my name's also Tris. Ha ha ha ha. Cool. Okay, just show a hand to who here is named Tris.

They all raise their hands. You see several of the trees also raise their branches. Real quick. Do you have like a sending stone or something? I could go quick. Just speak on the wind. Like we'll just keep it. Yeah, but you're all named Triss. So if I speak Triss on the wind, how should I get to you? I would try and you're you're actually a little desperate. I think desperate. I don't know if you would call last time I got any

was a fucking succubus and then it turned into me making out with Balnor so I think you're going pretty good for me right now. I'm actually pretty jealous because at first I made out with a fucking murder. Okay bro. You guys have like a lot of intertension and I think if you guys spent a little time

with the bear prints, you guys would feel a lot better. Oh my god, they're obsessed with the bear prince. I have found one with his bear prince. Okay. I make out with Tris. She makes out with you instantly. I turned to the Tris, they handed me my tab. Yeah.

Not your shrug. Can I get one of those tabs for my boyfriend back home? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'll give drugs to a kid. It's cool. She just gives you a tab. Rowan's gonna flip. Onward, did your Tris make out with you with the tab? Yeah, I'll give drugs to a kid it's cool. She just gives you a tap It's gonna flip on or did your tris make out with you with the doubt. No, she just put it on my tongue

See you guys follow the dry ads the dry ads lead you through the forest to the bear princess cave It's beautiful and intricate. It's like a keep built into the side of a mountain. But unlike a dwarven keep that would have kind of obvious humanoid architecture, this looks natural. There is a stone walkway that leads to the entrance and archway fit for a castle, but it looks like the stone naturally forms that way.

Above it, there are various stone balconies with rocks that jut out and little natural windows. On one of the balconies, there is a pool that turns into a steaming waterfall. It's essentially an infinity hot tub. Oh, stop. You see the cave is just... We're going swimming.

I'm right. Why would you ever go anywhere else or do anything else? It is springtime all the time here. Hard one pops the best. He pops up in the best. You guys see that the cave is naturally lit up by glowing fungi. It's just like the perfect mood lighting.

You see various dry ads lounging around, as well as several yellow goblins. They're these yellow goblins. They've got little like orange marks on them as well, like swirls. They're carrying big buckets of honey from the woods into the keep. You also see up in the Infinity Hot Tub is the Bear Prince. This beautiful Harry man has kind of a Jared Leto or like a Jesus look, just piercing blue eyes.

He's got the pointy ears of an elf, long brown hair, the face and beard of a gorgeous man. And you see, he gets hairier at his extremities. He's got like actual bear paws for hands. He's got an arm around two dry ads, and one of the goblins is pouring him a drink. It's the man. I just wanna say that I've taken this whole walk

with my hand in the back pocket of Trissa's days you use. Yeah, she's also got her hand in the pocket of your robe or what of your silk overalls. Nice. That's just fully on dev watch. That is having no fun. That is a Disneyland and he is sick. You guys see Triss lead you over to under the balcony where the bear prince is. He yells up to him and she goes, oh mighty bear prince.

We have like the chillest people that just showed up. They're outsiders. It's fucking crazy and awesome. And you see he looks over the infinity hot tub and he goes, you guys wanna join me in the tub? Yeah, I already popped my shirt. Yeah, I don't have a bathing suit, but I'm assuming that ain't a problem.

It's never a problem here, I don't got a bathing suit either. Okay, fine. I stripped naked. Hard one kicks out of his pants too. Guys, kick out of your pants. And it takes a while because that was very tight. You guys enter, you guys enter the, you take a full like couple minutes,

you take a full couple minutes, you see a couple of dots. I look over like a hard one, is your strength? Down, Stuart, what? Just pull on the, pull on the leg. I got it. Some of the little yellow goblins come over and start helping get the honey nice and sweet, right?

All right, easy does it. Hi, I helped you pull the pants off. You're a lot. We love honey. Okay. It's sweet Yeah, I was slightly worried that you were in some sort of slave case, but now I feel like maybe you're homeless get the honey Again Back Get the honey! I'm worried again, I'm worried again. It goes back and forth, comes in waves. You see, you guys. What was the last thing you were talking about, the honey? I was talking about honey. Okay, harmless, harmless.

Get the honey. Everyone, please do not. Everyone here is like a mascot for something. You guys, enter the Bear Prince's Keep. You guys follow these little honey goblins. You see a bunch of them are pouring the buckets of honey into pots. You see all of these kind of beautiful intricate stone rooms. It seems like these rooms were naturally made out of like the way that cave was formed,

but it's just like pure magic. You guys are led up the stairs to the balcony, and you guys see that there are like servant goblins feeding the bear prints honey and drinks and stuff, and there are a couple dryads in the hot tub with them. And the bear prints turns to you guys, and he goes, hop hop in what are your names? Hi Beverly Toggle the fifth if you see my dad. I don't know what your dad is man what Beverly Toggle cool man dude. Yeah excuse our naked 15 year old friend here.

Yeah if he could just throw on some pants. You're right I am I wrestle him into some some board shorts. I resist. Like trying to put a snow suit on a child. Fine. But if the rest of you guys want to drop trout, that's cool. Oh, I have already fully named it. Yeah, did you think you guys can make it?

You're gonna get to naked. It's been dropped. I feel persecuted against. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, hard one, sure, foot foot bastard of the mountain. How's it going? Hey, I'm the bear prince. Nice to meet you, dude.

Shake hands. Hey, you look really strong. Wow. Thank you for saying that in front of the trisses. I really appreciate it. Oh my god, he is really strong. Can I? Let's not think.

Oh, go ahead, sorry. Hey, moonshine's abin. Hey. I break away from trisses mouth just long enough to say that. Yeah, the dryer that was with moonshine has followed moonshine to the hot sauce making out with her. I just be happy for a bell door.

This is, you know, I, in a weird way, I kind of like it. I'd be willing to be a thruple with this truly moonshine if they would have it. He's just staring at them so hornly. It's just like, and the bear prints, uh, leans over to you hard when it goes, he's not being cool right now. Sorry, he doesn't have a lot of chill.

Sorry. Uh, uh, uh, I'll break my stare. Oh, great. Bear prints. Dev's trying to keep his cool as well. Um, he no worries. You can just call me Bear. Okay, Barry, I'm just a bear daddy, please, though.

Be Daddy. Be Daddy, what's up, man? At Be Daddy, oh, I'm just wondering. So one of our purposes on our extended sabbatical in the Feywild is we're searching for a group of knights, a group of wayward souls that look like me, their halflings for the most part. Interesting, interesting. Where was the last time you saw them, dude?

Well, they entered your realm, through a temple, and I don't know if there's a corresponding temple on this side, but it would have been... Are they in summer or winter, like what direction? Um... You're on a be summer, right? It'd be closer, sorry. Probably, yeah. You guys kind of have no fucking clue.

Where are we now? We're a bit confused. We're in spring, dude. A spring between summer and winter? Everyone laughs. What do you mean? It's above them. What?

Excuse me? Spring is above everything. Spring's at the top. Well, congratulations. Spring rules. Spring rules, dude. Okay. I get, hey, do you guys want, um, there's this drink. It's called Whatever You're Having. And the goblin will pour it in here, fucking cup. And it's whatever you want it to be. Yeah. Goblin comes over. If you want some honey bud.

Sure. Pours from this picture into a goblet for you. What would you like it to be? I get jar full of sliders. You see fucking meat starts going through it and you see the tris is go, that's really weird. What's in your cup, Triss? Wine?

Wine's pretty fattening. What's in your cup, Triss? It's freaking wine. This is wine too. It's chunky wine. You see? You see? The bearer friends speak 70 goes,

did you want meat? You could just have food if you want. Did you want like a drink? Look, I'll have what Tris is having. Say, the goblet, don't take away the meat cup. Don't take away the meat cup. I'll have to. You see the little yellow goblet looks over

at the bear prince nervously, and the bear prince just like shakes his head to be like, that's okay, gives you another goblet, important of Elven wine for you. Do I get a sense from this wine that it's anything magical? No, just very nice wine. The cup itself is magical, like the pitcher is magical. Right, right. But it is just regular alcohol.

But I don't sense any like, fay trickery. I've finished my meat cup. Meat cup just tastes great. You're not like poison or anything. Good. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna step gingerly into the hot tub with my wine. Yeah, get in, the water's just right. I make out my way in.

Okay. The water does look pretty comfy. Yeah, I stick a toe in. It feels perfect. Ugh. The water feels so good, like you've just been beaten up. Yesterday you had the biggest day ever, like fucking saving the world and you're just super herpid.

Now you just feel super relaxed. I think a little bit of like the drug trip, like a little bit of the sort of like intelligence kicks in for a second and I push Triss away and I'm like, huh, just give me a minute. Um, and then I want to, I want to ask the bear print some, you ever been to the mortal realm? Everybody laughs.

Why would I go anywhere but right here? Fair, that's an absolutely fair. I'm just trying to get a read on where the mortal realm might correspond. Like my young board shorted friend said, we've got some people that we're looking for. They came in a portal around Caledaron and we're trying to figure out where that correspond.

Where's the wild? Where's the next biggest mountain in the Fendt? Oh, that's a good call. That'll be that'll will use that as like iron deep. Yeah, here's a real question dude Okay, mine was also real but go on Why do you keep creating mountains for yourself? When you can just live Right Yeah, okay, yeah're saying? Yeah.

But what's wrong with the mountain? Some people like to climb mountains. Dude, and that's cool. Y'all got like, um, fake cars round here, anything? Like Tracy Chapman? A little bit like Tracy Chapman. Yeah. We love Tracy Chapman here.

Okay. Great. Good to know there's a constant between our two worlds. Just that one song. She just put out the one song. You're coming. So fast. All the Tris is starting singing it.

Tris, Chapman. Tris, Chapman. So you're looking for like mountains that aren't here? Yellow high mountains. We have mountains. Biggest hill. Yeah, we have mountains points back back towards where you guys came from. The mountain of the free fairy.

Okay, so you also don't travel too much. You guys are all around here. We don't party. We live first off. Secondly, there are other places in the jacuzzi. Nobody knows. Of course, and Jain doesn't want to. You guys piss.

You can just tell that it's just instantly, magically turning into hot tub water. Yeah, I feel like everybody was just sitting there. Yeah, I felt like it was fine. It felt like if you shitting here, it would disappear and it would be fine. I tried that. You do, and it just disappeared and said,

you feel it does not actually exit your body. It just disintegrates as soon as it gets in your butthole. And he goes, these summer Aladdin Actually exit your body. It just disintegrates as soon as it gets in your butthole He goes These summer a ladron live in like a city on a mountain that's what you're talking about that very Is it a is it a mountain that pierces through the very clouds? Yeah, dude That seems pretty sick and Y'all do north-south east west or you what? Okay, two for that guy.

Do you like to do like, I'll be downy lefty, right? I can do upy downy lefty right. Okay. So if you're like up in the cosmos, yeah, sailing super high above the world. And I think this is maybe not where we're looking at. So you want to look upy? I'm creating a magic.

I'm minor illusioning a whiteboard. Okay. Upy, yeah, that's spring. Nice. Upie, yeah, that's spring. Nice. Right. Righty, that's summer. Lefty, that's winter. Is Lefty where we came from?

Is that the... You guys came from Upie. We're all in Upie right now. Okay, and we gotta go righty. We gotta go righty and see. I gotta go righty. Um, what's the farthest righty you've ever been? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right?

I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right?

I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right?

I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know, right? I don't know so important. Hey guys, guys, this is a super fucking unchill. This is super unchill with me. But if I'm gonna help you, I'm wondering if you guys will help me. I could be persuaded.

We wanna agree to anything right away, but we'll hear your case for sure. Anything to look out for my girl, Triss, give her a quick one, like not just not enough. Just super quick, makes out with you. She likes intuitively knows when you want to make out and also wants to make it.

Bev keeps like putting his butt up against the bubbles and then like shifting it on accident. So it's like bathing suit is full. It's like trying to play a cool, but you're looking at a real door. It's the only person wearing a bathing suit. You're getting full of a bubble. Bev's like adjusting his bathing suit and being like,

just you will consider your offer. You just hold the legs of the bubbles. That's like adjusting his bathing suit and being like, just, you'll consider your offer. You just hold the legs of the bathing suit down, man. It'd be fun to put them in, it'll balloon out. Well, you know, if the bubbles never get in there, I'm never balloon, man. You're so wise, hey, thanks, dude. So anyway, if you guys wanna get to Ridey, if you guys wanna get to Summer,

yeah, you guys gotta get across like like the living sea and there's like dragon turtles there and shit and that's tough. I can put a word in but I got a little problem around here. I got somebody who's killing my steas here who's literally trying to murder me, trying to kill my life. Is it one of those trolls? We saw a bunch of trolls earlier. Oh, you plucked one of the flowers. Yeah, we can. No, just absolutely don't do that. Just don't do that. We did see your prison. Yeah, no, those are unceilig-y, um,

Fay, who've been cursed by the, um, free fairies. Cool. We killed one for you. Cool, I don't care. Like, to me, it's like, if they want to just be flowers and hang out, that's cool with me. You know what I mean? Like, everyone just, there's a fresh start. Yeah, well, they don't want to be flowers. and hang out, that's cool with me. You know what I mean? Like everyone deserves a fresh start. Yeah, well, they don't want to be flowers.

They're begging to be picked, but anyway. Yeah, totally. I mean, I kind of just listen to like my own brain. If that makes sense. Oh no, it's cool. Like I do a lot of self care. Yeah, a lot of self care. He just has honey imported to his mouth

and just makes out with a dry ass. Yeah. What's up with that honey? What's up with that honey? Yeah, I'm a bear, dude. I love honey. Can I get some of that honey? Yeah, man.

Do you want some honey? I take a little honey. You take a little bit of honey. All right. Sweetest, most delicious honey you've ever had. Does it do anything to my system? It doesn't. It's just delicious.

Bev is rethinking whether or not these are actually bad people or whether they're just idiots. Oh, yeah. I appreciate his vigilance though. Okay. Cool, wow, this is great, honey. Yeah. Now, you guys are welcome to chill in this hot tub as long as you want.

But a few days ago, I was out, I was just walking through the forest as I'm known to do. Sounds chill. Just kind of meditate. Yeah. Fucking hang out. I got a nice hammock out there, right? And this little dude, I don't know, man woman, they, I don't know, tried to kill me. I got away though, so I'm cool.

Don't worry about me. What was their method of execution? Are we talking monk? Are we talking knives? Are we talking psychological? It was like iron swords, it was like some kind of monster hunter that was trying to like get iron and y'all they folks don't like iron, right?

Yeah, we don't like it one bit. If you could not talk about iron actually right now, that would be awesome. Sure, we don't wanna harsh, we don't wanna harsh. Yeah, cause we're trying to just like chill right now. What, cause this happened, this happened like six months ago and I'm trying to chill. Okay. Yeah.

Could you describe this person that you saw? They were like really little. They were like a gnome or something. Fucking makes my blood boil. Yeah. They were wearing like all of this armor. They had like all of this iron armor so that it would be like hard for me to get them.

But we found out, we did a little intel, we had some of my girls here, Triss. My girl Triss, do you guys know my girl Triss? I spit my head around. Yeah, you see one of the dry ads from like down below goes, yo, hey Triss, hey, what's up? What's up, are you guys chilling up there? We're good, we're good, cool, good, good.

And he goes, so check it out. So Triss followed this little dude back to where he lived. Super easy for the Trisses to hide because they can just turn into treason shit. All right. What was just the Triss that followed him? Can I ask y'all a question?

Triss, yo, the yellow down. Hey, what's up? Did this little something you followed? Any facial hair? It had like a mask on. It was gross. It's like an iron mask. Okay, thank you, Trisk.

Thanks Trisk. Thanks so much. Living your truth. I love you. I love what you're doing up there. Is it gonna hot tub? Yeah. Okay.

Great. I throw Trisk a friendship bracelet. Yeah. Okay. Great. I throw Trissa friendship bracelet. She takes it. I will treasure this. Absolutely. And she will. And he goes.

So the mountain of the free fairy is like pretty dangerous because they're pretty territorial about their grounds. Like they say that they're free, but they're not really free because they have like a little castle and they have like a king. And also like the forest changes all the time, like it'll just be different the next time you go there. But like if, you know, somebody else other than a fairy builds something there, it'll stay in the same place.

So I know where this little dude's cabin is. If that makes sense. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that makes sense. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that does make sense. Cool. So if you go to the mountain of the free ferry, you're going to see a path. It's going to be lit up by these little whips.

You're going to want to keep your eye on that, but you're going to actually not want to travel on that path because if you travel on that path, the whips will come to life and they'll fly to the other ferries and they'll tell them that you're trespassing and they'll come out and kill you and there's like a lot of them. Okay, so don't touch the wisps. Don't touch the wisps. So just like... Whip on the wisps. So you're gonna go lefty?

I can't. You're gonna go lefty, huh? You're gonna hang a lefty on the path. You're gonna go about five miles. We have miles here, isn't that weird? We have miles. But we're out of... It's gendered units of measurement can be great for trade.

That's where we do meters in Bohumi. Okay, no we do miles. I don't know we're weird. We're crazy. And the traces go, we're so nuts, we're so random. And the bear prints goes. You really are and make out. So you're going to go lefty of the path for like five miles. Okay, I don't know what you're gonna run into because it's like magic stuff

and it changes every time. But you're gonna go. For C to really generate it, you're gonna go lefty of the path for like five miles and you're just gonna go do lefty. Okay. You just keep going do lefty until the high in this little cabin.

And then you just keep going lefty. Yeah, we just got a Bangaloo C, that's all it is. Yeah, a big time Lucy. Yeah, you know. You got bangaloo C. Dude, you know, dude., yeah. And then so once we bang a Lucy, then we're gonna hang a quick regional, then we'll come back, we'll find you. Yeah, all right. And so this guy knows, hey, dude, can I talk to you for a second? He he he scoots over to you next to you in the hot tub. You all this talk about like mountains, I'm just a little worried that you guys are like You all this talk about like mountains. I'm just a little worried that you guys are like kind of not living in the moment If that makes sense. Yeah, no, we're at the moment. We're thinking about future moments and trying to make future moments

So people can live in those moments. We're just stop stop doing that. Well, if we do if we stop doing that then It's just it's no big deal, but we like save the world You think that though, but you think like dude, every day I wake up and save the world. By I look around at all the dresses. He does, dude. He does every morning. It is springtime all the time.

It is time for a new start. It sounds. Right now it's time for a new start. Right now it's time for a new start. Right now it's time for a new start. Right now it's time for a new start. Right now it's time for a new start. Right now it's time for a new start. Yeah, let's all get temporary tattoos. Let's get real tattoos.

Okay. I'll get Triss on my butt. You see one of the goblins comes over. Honey, get bloody. Pulls out an arcane tattoo pen and starts a tattoo's Triss on, where do you want it, which I want? I want it on my back right shoulder.

Does Triss on your back right shoulder? But I want it to be in like a cool arcane script, so it looks like it's in a different language. He does it in Honey Goblin. Ha ha ha ha. Yo, this is so cool, I look great. Ha ha ha ha. That does look dope.

She also gets Triss on her shoulder. Ha ha ha ha. I look great. That does look dope. She also gets trist on her shoulder. This looks awesome. I couldn't care less. I do not respect this girl and it's making making out her very proud. Are we all getting tattoos? Yeah. What do you get? To prove that we're chill? Yeah, I'm super chill.

What do you with kind of tattoo do you want? I'm gonna get, I guess I'll probably just get, what have you got like a big, like all of us got, like just like a big sublime sun. I'm good with dress things. Oh, actually, I'm gonna get a sublime sun but I'm gonna tattoo a mustache on it so it looks like color. So it looks like color.

Yeah, they give you a sublime sun that says, pull or under it. I'm gonna, I'm gonna tattoo. I just gave, we just gave a kid a tattoo that's insane. Is it getting infected? It looks like maybe it's getting infected. Oh, you're gonna be fine. You just gotta soak it for a while. Okay, I'm just like here, that don't worry.

Okay, cool. If you could just write mama across my heart. They write mama across your heart. Beautiful. My queen. Mama across my heart. They write mama across your heart. Beautiful. My queen. Ha ha ha ha ha. Papa goes, Rang, Rang, Rang.

He lifts out his wrist. He gets a mother, done on his side and do his fur. Brilliant child, Rang. This is so cute. So now that you can see that we are super chill and to be trusted. Yeah.

I think that maybe we should retire for the night so we can pursue this Phantasm. Here's the thing, dude. There is no night unless you want to go down these. If you want to go to winter, that's where I go to take a nap. Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, no, you know what?

You need to take a nap, dude. You do you. You know what I mean? I don't need a nap. I just need one more cup of burger and then I'm outta here. You see the triceps all the time, I'm too old. I have one he's having. The triceps all look grossed out.

I'm a lot of talking about living in your truth and then I get the side eye. I'm gonna get a cup of burger too. Just like in defiance of my trice to be like, you still love me. You know what I'm gonna say? I'll get a big slider. Blood and burger running down my beard into the hot tub.

You guys, all, yeah. Bring me the biggest slider you have. You guys all have bread and meat cups. Nice to choose something out of the cup. So you guys, are you guys gonna be like head now? Or do you wanna crash here for like a couple years? We're gonna head. We should probably head.

Yeah? Yeah. Oh, sorry, what's that? In Belnor, you didn't get a tattoo. Oh yeah. Yeah. Maybe I get like a tuna fish. I think you do.

Just like an anchor. I call the honey y'all in the fish. That's pretty cool. Listen to whatever this man said. We'll get the honey My concern grows and ways. Can you make sure that it's growing make sure that the tuna is wearing like a little French Directors cap he makes the little sun kiss tuna Found our tonight is arm. I'm just bad ass man. Can I just what do you think? It's fine

Can I put some gold in my hand and like say thanks to the Honey Goblin, but like give it to him, like a secret tip, like a dad tip. He takes it. Ooh, it looks like honey. Yeah, yeah. He looks a dozen tastes like it though. No.

I mean, just like, here's my business card. If you need some assistance and a revolution or anything like that. Is it made of honey? I'm right. I think you're fine. You know what never mind. Yep. Let's go lefty. Time to handle lefty. Lefty is. You guys. Definitely lefty. You guys exit the bear princess keep. You guys wait can I kind of before we leave can I do like a make out with Triss that like gets her

like it's like an edging make out like I get her fucking there and then I leave Oh my god So can I use the horny as the podcast ever been and I haven't kissed anybody can I just shuffle my feet near a Triss It's like uh, so I was we're gonna head out and try to like fucking hunt this guy And I don't know when I'll be back or even if all be back. You hear like radio static, like traveling through the planes, I see you. I'm not doing anything.

Cool, yeah, maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't. I don't know. Yeah, I'm looking at this guy. Well, I should bounce. All right. All right. Guys, I should bounce. All right. All right, guys, we have to leave right now. I just left things really well with Triss and I don't want to fuck this up.

I just make a B-line for the A-tip. Let's go. Reggie two? Moose comes back up. Oh. Yep, you live in a weird place. You don't seem to like it either. Oh.

We're going no-hunting. Right, he too. I mean, grunt twice if you're a soul captive in a moose's body. Oh. Okay, that's one. Okay, all right. Good, good.

So you guys travel back north or up seas as it's called here. Through the field of flowers again. Help. Help shut up They move out of the way you guys travel to the mountain of the free ferry Is this the mountain we came from aka Mount Forge? Yeah, we came from You see that the trees here stand as tall as red woods But their leaves hang as low as weeping willows. So it looks like it would be very easy to get lost in. But fortunately, there is a path. You see a dirt trail where the trees part and to the sides of the trail are little blue lights that throw them. So these are the little

wisps, right? I imagine these are the wisps or they could be like, you know, like oil diffusers that you set to like a color pattern. I think we just hang a Louie. Is that what you said? Hang a Lucy. Well actually it's bang a Lucy. I think I'm hang a Reginald. Ah, okay.

But yeah, we'll get the hang of it. Yeah. You guys begin climbing up the mountain of the free ferry, hanging a Louie. You keep the wisps to your right, seeing them, and you begin traveling through the forest. And at first, there's just this kind of crazy canopy. Like it instantly is very dark.

It's very tough for you guys to see the sun. There's just so many leaves and so many trees and everything is packed so tightly. I put on my night vision goggles. Ooh. You put on your night vision goggles. It helps you, it helps you a little bit. And you guys begin traveling.

He said it would take about five miles, so I'm gonna go ahead and do some encounter checks for you guys. Okay, so you guys travel for the first mile, nothing happens, you guys are able to keep an eye on the glowing wisps, the path. But at the second mile, you continue until you suddenly come upon a rock wall. You don't know where it came from.

It looked like you had a clear path through the trees and then suddenly you just hit a wall. It was as if you blinked and this thing appeared. You see that it goes several hundred feet up on both sides of the path. You see that there is a way to get through the wall through the path. You see that there is a way to get through the wall through the path.

You see the wall is covered in moss and flowers. At the bottom of the wall, the flowers are huge. And then they get smaller as you go up the wall. And at the tipy top, everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. It's a nine. 22. 18. Okay, moonsh nine. 22. 18.

Okay. Moonshine. Oh, 20. Okay. Moonshine in hard one, as you guys look up the wall, you see that the flowers go from being enormous, arcane, weird, bigness, to being small and dead at the very top of the wall. Hmm. Do we attack the wall?

We gotta go up and over or under. Ooh. Ooh. We never do downsies. That's hard one. Do you want to burrow deep into the Feywai? Let's try. Take out my pickaxe. Alright. Yeah. toss it from hand to hand. I guess I'll strike the ground. Okay. I strike the ground. You strike the ground. You see that strike the ground. You strike the ground. You see that these big plants down here, their roots are just like insane root networks. All right. You know what? Maybe we just try to dispel magic. What if I just like roll really well? Can I, I'm also wondering if I were to shine some,

celestial light upon them, if perhaps that would cause them to close up and make our way appear again? Yeah, I like that. All right, I want to hold my amulet a lot to kind of spin it, and then I'm gonna do a green teen beam, right at the plants, which ones? Moon beam. The plants, I guess like, should I do it at the ones at the top or probably the ones

that are biggest? The ones that are biggest, I think. Yeah, actually I want to kind of aim right at the root network that hard one exposed. Okay. Cool. Go ahead and shoot a sunbeam at it. Alright, a moonbeam? Moonbeam.

Yeah. I guess it would be a sunbeam in the Feywild. Topsy Turvy. It's opposite day. Cool. I'll say you don't need, you're like right next to it. You don't even need to roll. You hit it.

Uh-huh. I seem like it was like healthy for the plant, but nothing really happens. Like the plant is not like damaged or anything. So there's no like nothing to spells. No. Interesting. Okay. Uh, my light didn't work.

Okay. Um, why did you say? It was a climb time. It might be climb time. How high can I throw my grappling hook? Ooh, you can throw it quite high. Go ahead and make an athletics check. Cool.

25. So you have like a 50 foot rope, you tie another 50 foot rope to it. I'll say you swing that shit around, you throw it right over the wall. Cool. Yank yank. Cool, Yankeic. Oh, so climbing it, that was the solution. He'll start it to me. It feels sturdy.

Yeah, but you see how the things die once they get higher. That's what I'm concerned about. Nice and slow. Who's going up? How are you guys proceeding? I mean, I think we'll probably do one at a time. We'll probably have one person go up so that the rest of us can be there to save them if something goes wrong. That sounds good. So I'll climb up. I'm going to put the ring of featherfall on my

pinky. Okay. Cool. Hard one. You put the ring of featherfall on your pinky. You pull your grappling hook tight and you begin going up the rope. Hard one, as you're climbing up, when you were looking from far away, you saw that the flowers started out very big and then they got very small, but as you're climbing, they're staying the same size. Okay. Very strange.

From the outside, you guys see that hard one shorefoot is shrinking. I'm not gonna tell him. I talk on the rope. You guys see that hard one shorefoot is shrinking. I'm not gonna tell him. I talk on the rope, and that's where we'll end our session. I can't shrink that the worst thing that can happen to me. My first time was not like he's in danger. It was like hard one does not want to know this. He would not take it well.

First thisro playground. Who, you had a rough day for your ego. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Got shut down by the dry head. You were really gonna shut down, because you didn't make a big move. Yeah, it was only at the end that I like,

that was this big of a move, it's hard one for me. And then to me, I put myself in a box. Shema was like, what? Yeah, she could myself in the vlog. Shema was like, what? Yeah. Shema, you should be watching me forever. Now I want you to have as many love interests as possible, just to fucking deal with that.

Yeah, Gemma texted you like, right as you were going in for the kiss. Yeah. Like, we broke up, but she's like, just like text, hey, I hope you had a good day. Ah, I'll never get up. It's devastating. Oh my goodness.

Hey, let's save it for the short. It's devastating. Oh my goodness. Let's save it for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short.

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Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's save for the short. Let's sexy. It's hot. Read our book, fire book. It's called Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call into Your Emergency Contact, It's a satirical relationship advice book. It's available on Amazon and on Audible. You can also watch us on Fantasy High on Dropout, which is a College Trauma Streaming service. It's a D&D play show. We think you'll like it. Call it all. What do you

have to plug? Ooh, big city greens is back, baby. You can check that out on Disney Channel or Amazon or iTunes. We got a back 10 for ya, new episodes. 10 new half hours full of fun content. The moms there, they got a mom now. The mom is back on the program. We love moms. The mother is here. Is she a Mima?

She is a... On a very Mima. There is a Mima on the show as well. There's a grandma. Yeah, it's a on the show as well. There's a grant. Yeah, it's a full family affair. Yeah, it's a fun new dynamic shift. I boarded a bunch of fun episodes with my new partner, Keanu Consmith,

so check them out. You're gonna really like them. Hell yeah. Hey, beard oil. Beard oil. Yeah, by that beard oil. By the beard oil, baby. BrotherCisterco.com, that's all I got.

Hell yeah. And as we know from last week, you can use it on your eyebrows. Age of pubes. Use Jake's oil on your pubes. Put on your drug. Guys, follow us on Twitter at CH Murphy's Me, ad call these call the oil adiacs for decimally, at Jake Her which is Jake and tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's NADDPOD. Hey friends, Caldwell here, Merf's out Town this week, so I'm on Shoutout Duty. Please stand and do your worst thumbs up possible as we salute our glorious Council of Elders. Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven.

Diny wants tried to plan a surprise birthday party for Brad, but when he came home, all the pebble pots freaked out and instantly called the cops. J. Loma's72, aka Steelbreaker. Hard one's gym spirit. Much like Hard one, the only thing Steelbreaker cleans is the fucking rack. Seriously though, they both smell super bad. Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard who accidentally invented blade singing. Dylan's sword song skills makes them both feared and respected

on the battlefield and also super not allowed at karaoke anymore. Danny P. Buhui is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf in edge. The portrait was actually used by the frost wind police when hard one was suspected of murder. Fortunately his beard was super patchy back then. Tom P, father of the realm, and serenader of sleeping babies. Somewhere in the Feywild lurks Tom's nemesis, Mott Apple Daughter, a despicable trickster who wakes up babies right as their parents were finally drifting off to sleep. What a jerk! Spencer Casprue, patron elder of libations and ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike.

Spencer's latest creation, The Honey Goblet, is served in a punch bowl and comes with its own freshly drowned Honey Goblin. Griffin SD, aka the Stranger, the Silver Dragonborn Eldridge Knight, ex-owner of the Badgers' Pined Inn and Tavern, and current owner of the Silver Hypothesis Gym. Unfortunately, the gym was located at the base of Mount Forge and was likely destroyed. Luckily, however, Griffin bought the Dragon Hazard Policy from State Farm last month, so he should be A-OK. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohemia. Dan spent most of his early adulthood trapped in a super tall tower in some sort of reverse

Rapunzel situation. He eventually escaped by throwing a toilet out the window, then using his beard to zipline to safety. Scott D, aka the Hobby Goblin. eventually escaped by throwing a toilet out the window, then using his beard to zip line to safety. Scott D. A. K. A. Baha'i Goblin. Unlike their warm, ungrowing brethren, the only thing Scott kills at is knitting. Aaron C. The homeless man that was used by the band of boobs to distract the chosen back and glater on. Aaron felt so inspired by his own performance that he decided to distract

people professionally by inviting a speaking stone social media site called AaronYourGrevensys.com. It has 50 million daily users, Hermes W, the Bat King. Someone recently vandalized a statue of Hermes to read The Bat King, which led to Hermes having to perform the Bat King of first ever public beheading. RJW, a triant who runs the tris's favorite salon, they specialize in dying roots. Spartas, a super optimistic fighter who puts the GLAD in Gladiator, they literally turn their foes frowns upside down with the power of positive thinking and also knives. Adam R, the R-Aid of Dessassin, every time someone rolls for Horniness, Adam adds an extra

D-10 to their attack. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP. Instead of an alarm clock, Cassandra uses the layer actions of a platinum dragon. Danielle the Dastardly Dame. Danielle is so dastardly that she wants in a bouquet of freshly plucked troll flowers to an office full of pixies. Hew see, aka, Haldoar Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn, and Fuddle on the Lies and Red. Haldor is now retired and owns one of those bars where everything is made of ice.

It's also his apartment. Mani the Mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. If you're eating a big plate of spaghetti and accidentally drop a big meatball into your lap, but all the sauce lands on your napkin and not your pants? That's Manny, baby! Danielle U, aka Multifor, the many face magician. Danielle doesn't like to pick favorites amongst their faces, but if they had to, it'd be a tie between the three horn tiefling, the world's hottest orc, and a halfling that looks just

like John C. Riley. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm. Jordan's latest multi-plane R smash hit, Get Dad Honey, Club Remix, Feet Prince Grizz, is currently tearing up the charts and also the fabric of reality. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and S'morgas of Bords.

That's right, Jeffrey's throwing a feast with not one, not two, but three types of suckling pig. Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy turned-crick bark attack, currently behind bars for accidentally trying to make a house out of a dry ad. Lex sketch, the escape artist. Lex is the only mortal on the mortal plane who knows the brick under which the face stash

and extra key in case they get locked out of the Feywild. John S. AKA Shoeberthemushroom, because of the bear prince's poor hygiene locked out of the Feywild. John S. aka Shuberth the Mushroom. Because of the Bear Prince's poor hygiene and maintenance of the hot tub, Shuberth's been sprouting up all over the Bear Prince's grotto. Ryan M. aka Hard One's Ram, who is saved by none other than Kalka. That's right, both of Hard One's neglected

and forgotten pets have formed an alliance. Will they seek vengeance on their former owner? Only time will tell. Elena C. An orc bard who is super into slam poetry. Elena was asked to perform at Faye Cella, but declined in protest of how corporate it's gotten. Andrew M. Beverly's personal trainer, aka HP Lunge Craft. This horrifying nightmare of muscle will help you craft your rear with only lunges.

Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Manna Inn, isn't afraid to put a martini on the rocks because, be honest people, it's so much more refreshing that way. Victor T, Balnor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Victor is currently weeping into their- Victor is currently weeping into their cut flicksup, which is a turn of the century Austrian-tripe soup. Of course, Henry A. the essence from which all of Trinaville emanates. From Henry A. it is born. To Henry A. it will return. PS, thanks again for sending me that D&D Beyond subscription, Henry. You are a good man and

a good friend. Justin I, a warrior who wields four crossbows, it's super impressive until you get into melee range. At which point Justin I just shout, Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh! A bunch. Clayton M, a claymation, delmation. Clayton was actually a rescue and required the dog whispering skills of Cesar Milan not to pee on the carpet.

The professional. The professional! The only lawyer to successfully beat Papa in litigation. The professional also has a very entitled teenage son who they bail out of trouble a little too frequently. Careful the professional! Gotta let that kid learn a lesson every now and again. Jacob C! Secretly has their very own King's hammer, but has mostly been using it to take their woodworking

to the next level. They just finished a hutch which is blessed by the beard of Mordin himself. Alaina M., a legendary catch-and-player from the Dwarf Finish, who went pro, only to lose themselves on the money in the fame, currently trying to restore ties with all the Dwarfans they turn their back on. GON OFF HAS GON OFF COLOR! That's right, GON OFF has been saying some pretty racy scandalist stuff and they ain't making no apologies. McPucks, the co-master who created our amazing website, McPucks could hack into the All his emails and expose her conspiracies, but they are too honorable. If you try to adopt one of them, be warned, you will go home with both. Dylan M., a talented executioner who kills people with a broadsword clenched firmly between

their butt cheeks. Public executions have actually fallen on a fashion angle later on due to being voyeuristic and sadistic, but Dylan M. can still fill a town square. Jive G., a powerful barred ranger multi-class who plays music by shooting arrows at a marimba. It's beautiful, and honestly, a little tropical. Corbin A, once wheeled to the King's hammer, but mostly activated it's once-a-day spirit guardians to make their birthday party look more hoppin than it was. Atlas Stormreaper, the essence of rain, thunder, and lightning itself. Which makes it really hard to date. I mean, it's super

exciting at first, but at a certain point, you want to settle into something more comfortable without all the thunder and lightning, you know? Justrich, a jock ostrich who letered at summer court high school where it is totally normal and cool to be a big bird who plays football. ELDREG, aka the DREG or not, a fire giant who loved the cold so much, he froze. Sort of a reverse frosty the snowman situation. Cameron C, a legendary photographer in the Feywild. The Bear Prince hires Cameron whenever he

needs to do an Instagram ad spot. Charo Arcadius, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. Charo is straight edge, but their tail is always going off to unwired drugs and making out with dry ads. Damio R, Ram Daniels evil twin. A mustashioed Ram currently tracking the other goats through the frigid north and selling out their positions to the noles. Nicholas R, a law student at the creek who interned all summer so that pop-up might write them

a recommendation letter. When they got it back, all it said was, Mo. Jennifer V, a satyr and master interior designer, built the Bear Prince's Infinity Hot Tub with the help of a few honey goblins, but wore headphones the whole time so they wouldn't have to talk about honey. Destin C, master of their own, Destin E. Destin was chosen by Mordyn to wield the King's hammer, but didn't feel like it so they just went back to bed.

Gimma ended up convincing Mordyn to just go with Hard One. Devon B, a poor leprechaun who has a pot of copper. Whenever anyone steals Devon's pot, they're super disappointed but have to fake it so that Devon doesn't feel bad. Michael L ended up getting to ride Reggie 1, the Musa Tar after Bev turned him down. Bev's loss is Michael L's sweet sweet moose man gain. Sam H, a hot tub elemental. Like a water elemental, but their temperature is just right and they're super relaxed 24-7.

Kelvin Noodles. A pasta elemental. The band of boobs totally miss Kelvin and the elemental chaos, where they could have reached his layer by jumping into a giant bowl of spaghetti. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakarias Disekwani Seventh of his name A sexy Peruvian snakefolk with sweet snake patterns on his skin Sergio is so sexy that being around them made the bear print stressed out for the first

time in his life Traylee, the cray-fei, who dated Shay but wouldn't stay because they had to go away Traylee left Shay with a broken heart, but the band of boobs are praying that she'll someday learn to love again. Grace H was snowboarding at Mount Forge when Will Helm caused the avalanche, but is so sick at treading they didn't even notice. They considered it roughly a blue square intermediate trail. Aaron G, master of the banishment spell. Aaron is an extremely picky eater, but doesn't put in special orders. They just banish the onions and pickles off their cheeseburgers.

Eric B. A cat who carries a sword. Not a tabaxi. Not an adventurer. Just a regular cat with a sword. Oh my god, someone get that sword away from that cat. Please. Jory S.

An anti-antipaladin. Isn't that just a regular paladin? You might ask. No. Jory only fights people who used to be paladins and has no abilities otherwise. It is a niche market and Jory is getting in early. Alucard. A refers Dracula. A bat with average bat intelligence who can turn into a humanoid who just screeches at the walls. Babydok. an incredibly skilled nine-month-old surgeon, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section.

Not surprisingly, Baby Doc went to medical school at the Cric. At him age, Pelor's personal trainer is trying to get Pelor to lay off the margaritas to slim down his power gut, but the guy just loves a good time. Aim into that. Kyle McQ, the guy who retrofitted the Bear Prince's Infinity hot tub, the Bear Prince tries to live in the moment and not use the internet, but even he couldn't help but give Kyle a 5-star yelp review. Colin G, a worm twice as big as Yanoba.

Colin doesn't eat noles though. Colin is a vegetarian, which makes worshipping them super safe. Ryan, hard one's ram who's on a quest to find Hard one's other, abandons and animals, Kaka. Together they plan on confronting their aloof character about his scurrying of responsibility. Wow, we're really tearing into Hard one today. Big Buck! The newest addition to the Iron Dwarf Police Force! Big Buck is an Iron Mousse who patrols the streets of Frostwin, specifically making sure

that the Dwarfans are safe. Thanks, Big Buck! Richard F, a fearful frog he-meth who is eaten by a giant worm and reincarnated by Melora as a nanorfly. Richard is now in Moon Shine's jar, fucking like there ain't no tomorrow. Which there might not be. Taylor S, aka Trast. The 20th level bard who only casts prismatic spells because he loves putting colors everywhere.

Hard one hopes to visit Taylor someday so we can rock the rainbow beard he's always dreamed about. John W.G. The philanthropic rogue who uses their sleight of hand expertise to slip gold into people's pockets. Sneaky and generous. Tora McCee uses the body of their dead foes as a shield. It's very impractical and super unwieldy, but Troy is strong as fuck and doesn't even

think twice about it. Cannibalistic Cthulhu. Legit tried a piece of themselves this past weekend. Just a nibble off the old finger. This is pretty good too. Sam L. A half orc whose other side of the family is high elf. Sam has a huge mussely body and adorable 11 years. Family reunions are weird as hell. Jim Jam Flam Flam, a one man traveling band who is about to embark

on warp tour and open for Canadian punk band, Simple Plan. Dom R works at the CVS single later on where Nana Kindleaf buys all her worthers. I use buy in quotation marks because she's kind of seen aisle and will often walk out of the pharmacy without paying. Thumb doesn't mind though. Matt H. a Goliath who only eats many M&Ms. They look extra small in their hand and all Matt's Goliath friends freak out because they think Matt is even huger than they are. Josh S. The revived cyborg version of Josh the cobalt, currently tracing the Band of boof steps and is on their way to Galator on to kill Beverly's family

Oh no, Blitzbrigg Demetri the kinkoo king was ruling an entire community of kinkos till they started to move south for the winter Now Blitzbrigg is all alone and getting chilly Caleb Storm, captain of hard ones's father's rival ship, the SS Storm raised. Caleb ship is faster, but it doesn't have a cool secret compartment for their porn. Andrew A, the only dry ad that doesn't like the Bear Prince. Though Andrew will still use his hot tub from time to time, because it's pretty sick. James G, the Bear Prince is most prolific honey goblin. It's rumour that James coined the phrase, Githul honey, Nicholas C C has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohemia, has

truly never ever not been the star in a movie, much like Nicholas Cage here on Earth. Matt L has only one HP but has so much armor that Matt has never been knocked out, the weakest, strongest person in the realm. Targo, a Franched Crick Elf, Targo, a French Crick-Elf. Targo is a fancy accent, but very down-to-earth taste. They like Zebrown, and they like Isgal Go. That's all we got. Thanks so, so much for your patronage, and we will see you next week.

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