Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 48: Escape From Fairy Mountain (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: January 31, 2019

The Band of Boobs catch up with their old pal Cran, then head off to face the Bear Prince! Moonshine gets petty, Hardwon gets buffed, and Beverly gets out-goofed. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other NADDPOD content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Frozen in Time" by Emily Axford."Puzzled" by Emily Axford."Mysterious, Yet Familiar" by Emily Axford."At the Last Minute, a First" by Emily Axford."The Valley of Frigid Death" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumi, everyone. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Bahumi. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure foot. Emily Axford.

Moon Chan Sabin, Kiss and Trisses, and Pop and Poison. Ooh. And of course, Skulldoll Tanner. Beverly Togo the fifth, number one, Cran Fan. Nice. Cran is back, baby. You all asked for it, and she's back. Where's the filmin'?

The fans demanded Cran. Did anyone think that the girl who once said, I was in a bag, would be back. As a fucking badass too. As a bad guest. Someone did, anyone. That was so jealous. Did anyone think that the person who said I was in a bag

could one day give you guys a pretty good fight? I think that that's a hope that I hold for all of my NPCs. In the hyperbolic chamber though. So she's like in really good work I was compared to us. That's true. Okay guys, let's do a little recap. So last week you guys continued dealing with the trickery on the mountain of the Free

Fairy. You came upon a little fairy farmer named Pixel, who was extremely upset that you were on his property. You then stole lollipops from him and broke his alarm system, then made your way to a cabin in the woods where the Bear Princess potential assassin dwelt. The cabin turned out to be a front, and you only reached the assassin's true lair when you solved a puzzle in the garden that saw moonshine eat several poison berries. True puzzling intuition. We're eating the berries after the after we went into it.

I was like this is a treat, save for later. Probably very spicy. So, kind of much on style. I grew a bunch of big lollipops for that pixel fairy. So like, it was a win-win. Sure. I'm sure it's grateful. Once inside, you are attacked by a little monster hunter who threw smoke bombs and used traps.

You weren't convinced that this monster hunter was a bad guy, so Beverly acted on a hunch and began reciting the green teens' cre Creed, prompting the assassin to join in. You found out that the Monster Hunter was actually crann! Now about 40 years old! A year has passed in the Feywild for every day you spent in the mortal realm, and the Green Teens of your have grown to be fully fledged Green Nights. However, crann informed you that most of the green nights and the new generation of green teens

are currently frozen by a curse in the court of summer, which froze over when King Leastaborn left Queen Cerilla for the unceilig and her heart had turned to ice. Crann also told you that she and Durlin had gotten married and had kids. The family had fled the summer court when the curse took place and hidden in spring only for Dirlin to be kidnapped by the bear prince and turned into a honey goblin.

You also found out that Bev's dad was not cursed, but had separated from Dirlin and Cran to track King Lesterborn to the unceiligord and find out what was really going on, and that's where we are now. So you guys are in Kranz hideout. Kranz bat cave, as called well called it, I was like. Kranz cave.

Kranz cave, the Kranz cave. She's sitting on the edge of her bed. There's a little fire in the car. The bed she shares with Dirlin. One shared. One shared. And we have not asked about her children yet, right? No, you don't know where her children are right now got it

But she says if we're gonna be fighting Fay You guys are gonna need iron can I maybe just add that iron to my sweet Rosalene? She's so powerful and she just hates to be Put aside. Yeah, where did you find so much iron in the farewell? They really seem to hate it here. When you're fighting higher ranked people in the sealier, the unsealied court, it's gonna be difficult without iron. So even though the sealie don't like to be around it as nights of the summer court, we were given iron.

I see. But I actually have a work around. If you guys are attached to your current weapons, I can help you out. Perfect. And she's never letting go of this hammer. Yeah. She walks over and she inspects your hammer.

I don't know where you got this thing, but this has plenty iron in it. Oh yeah, I figured. I'm good here. Oh my gosh, it's just a thin coating of gold. It's actually really cheap. Oh no, this is the replica. You have Bastion's hammer.

No! But yeah, hard one, you have like this master crafted hammer that was blessed by the gods. It has some iron in it. It will be effective against the fay. Cool. But you see she pulls off a necklace that she's wearing that has an iron pendant on it.

It's got this sunburst that looks slightly different than the symbol of Polar. And she looks at you guys and she goes, all of the green nights of the summer court wore them. They give off a magic aura that will enchant your weapons so they'll have the same effect as iron So she takes her necklace off and she gives it to Beverly. Oh, thank you You sure you don't need this I've got plenty of iron right here. Okay. Yeah, you see she like that

She's got like I'm not gonna help it. Yeah Yeah, she's got iron armor She's so some women like gold, some like silver. No iron deficiency here. No, sir, not on your period. Ha, ha, ha. And then she says, as for the rest of you, she looks at Balnor and Smoonshine.

She goes, I suppose they won't be needing it any time soon. She walks over to this little door, this little closet. She opens it. And inside are two frozen halfling twins. Still as statues. Their skin is blue. They're covered in a thick frost. They look to be around Beverly's age.

Maybe a year or two younger. One is a boy with braces, acne and a little beret. Looks like a little green teen. The girl has braces, freckles, and the same curly hair that Cran had as a kid. It's frozen solid. They're holding each other and they look frightened. And you see Cran with a shaky hand,

reaches out, grabs their necklaces and pulls them off. I'm so sorry. Me as well. They're cute kids though, Kran. They really are. I mean, honestly, if we were here and they were running around, we wouldn't even get a chance to appreciate how cute they are. We just made a whirlwind of energy.

I paint a little frozen teeth. Hey, thanks. Yeah. We're gonna get them back. Yeah. These little nightmares are gonna be running around your, you know, ankles. Oh, you know, Moonshine and I could use some new scouts, actually.

Yeah. You see, she, she like holds it back some tears and she's like, I would love for them to meet you. Oh. We're gonna make that happen. Is there nothing we can do? I'll also back some tears and she's like, I would love for them to meet you. We're gonna make that happen. Is there nothing we can do? Not until we break the curse that's taken Queen Serilla. If you tried to produce flame can't drink. It seems crazy that a can trip could reverse.

Believe it or not, I've tried using turn, turning the thermostat up to like 80. Yeah, yes, no, I've gotten it. Yes, if I've taken them sugar. Turning the thermostat up to like 80. Yeah, yes, no. I've gotten it, yes, if I've taken them out in the sun, believe me, I've... Hot cocoa. Hot cocoa, I've tried blankets, I've tried moonbeams, I've tried all things.

I just had to check your bases before we went on this adventure if it was something that could be easily adverted. No, the only plus side to it is that they're safe. Daring all of this is I can keep an eye on them. Ain't that a beautiful slice of optimism. So, we're lining. Yeah. My children are flushing. Iron lining. Iron lining. Yeah, when we split from Beverly Senior, the goal was for Dirlin and I to come up here and protect them until he figured out what was going on, and then we would meet up again so that we could save the rest of the green teens and the green nights.

But unfortunately, Dirlin has been taken by the Bear Prince. What's the deal with the Bear Prince? I thought it was like some kind of amateur DJ, but it sounds like he enslaved your husband. When we first got here, we were living in the Bear Prince's territory, so we made an alliance. Technically, he's seely-fay,

so we thought we could trust him. Once we found out that his followers were prisoners, Durland confronted him, and he was turned into a honey goblin. I had to move out here to protect the kids. There are a lot of fake tricks. You have to be careful what you say around these people. I know what you eat, right? Yeah.

Durlin always was a trusting soul. I brought a bunch of Tupperware with food for us. That's good. There is a lot of good food here though. So you should really. It's okay, we meal prepped. Yeah, good. We've got like just 30 pounds of spaghetti. What's better than this? Hard one sucks the brown part out of a crop. You all haven't changed a bit. It's honestly very good to see you. Cran, what's step one?

How do we get him back? How do we get your man? We kill this goddamn false prince. We free the honey goblins and the dryads. Ah, yes, the dryads. We're going to rescue your girlfriend, Moose. I know, I got to find out if Triss loves me even when she's not under a spell. She loves me for me.

Because she's under Feywild magic. I think that's step one. We won't be safe until we get rid of the bear prints and help Darlin for, you know, selfish reasons. But what corrupted this bear prints is heart. Y'all have any idea or is he just rotten? The, he just loves honey. This world is, he does love honey.

When he the poo is evil. You guys know that. There's alms and bears. And yogi bear. And alms and honey suckers. You can't- You can't- You can't-

You can't- You can't- You can't quite assign good and evil labels to the fey. I think that, I think that stealing the free will of others to serve as yourself is an evil. Certainly. There's a lot of... I think it's easy to put that under evil category. There are less people in the fey wild who just want to destroy things for the sake of

destroying them, but there are a lot of people who do things to serve their own vanity. As far as the bearer prince's motives, he's a vain douchebag who pretends to reject the fake courts, but really he just wants everyone to worship him instead of the kings and the queens. Sure. Well, yeah, we can slap a big posted note with the word bad on the Grizzly Prince. Let's go get him. Yeah. Well, we need to kill him to break the Queens. Sure. Well, yeah, we can slap a big post in note with the word bad on the Grizzly Prince. Let's go get him. Yeah. Well, we need to kill him to break the curse. Yeah. I'm

for slapping him with my hammer instead of the note. That sounds good. Yeah. Hard one. Hard one loves killing critters. So there should be no problem for him. I slated dragon. I remember you killing the last I slated a dragon. You killed a dragon. Yeah. So yeah, all by yourself. Yeah. You did the finishing Yeah. All by myself. You did the finishing blow. I did the finishing blow with my goddamn sleep. You were not.

You were not. I woke up and I just was on autopilot. I you know what? That reminds me of the whole thing to me. He took a lot of ambience and just didn't sleep. That reminds me of when Erlin Castley hands on you and you beat the bully woke king. That's right. I was one of the greatest battles I've ever seen. Well, you should see Harwan against horses.

Uh, horse. Mucha, mucha. He goes a lot more. He's great. Mucha, let's, let's all, I think we all need our rest. Man, it's just any kind of elephant, really. Yeah, if it's on four, I'm gonna need to directly kill the ram.

Let's all get some sleep. Ryan is fine. And she goes, sorry that we had that little fight earlier. How's everybody feeling? Do we think we could just hang out and patch up our wounds for a second and get going or do you guys need to rest? Short rest would probably serve money. Stayed? You see while you guys are taking a short rest, you guys are starting rest? Short rest would probably serve money. Staying? Yeah.

You see while you guys are taking a short rest, you guys are starting to bandage up your wounds and stuff. Cran turns to you, Beverly, and goes, you know, the only green teens that didn't come to the Feywild with us were Irland and Gwein. How are they? Are they okay? They're good.

Survived the Glateron War. They made it out with my mom and Nana Kindly. They're over in Hillholm now. Oh good. I've sent some letters to them, but I haven't heard from them in a while, so honestly, my emotions are kind of torn into a lot of different places these days. We've been kind of all over. We really haven't had a second to ourselves, but I hope they're okay.

But seeing you and knowing that my dad's okay, that really makes things a lot better. Did you guys ever actually get together? Because I mean, dirt. Oh yeah! Oh yeah, we smooch, we friendship a big time. Oh, good. That was actually... This is so funny.

You're gonna find this so funny. 30 years of tragedy, notwithstanding. Uh-huh. That was how we sent you to the Feywild. Really? Yeah, the power of love in fact. That was so scary. We were just in a chapel, people beating down the doors.

Uh huh. Your dad was. Y'all didn't even know we did a whole ritual for y'all. You helped us. Oh yeah, that was best second kiss, believe it or not. I mean, like that was the one. I saw the first one. He was a pretty good second one.

He was a pro. Yeah, second, having kissed since. First one was a peck. Second one was a smooch. Would love to kiss again. Well, we owe you our lives. Thank you. Ferd, you know, it's several reasons. Well, you know, your lives are the payment we need for saving your life. Yeah, all our problems seem so small in comparison to what y'all have been through. I think the mortal realm isn't just as much trouble as the fake realm Yeah, I was gonna say I think we've faced some pretty ugly

situations that are Similarly things were honestly pretty good here for a while Yeah, you get some some fully grown kids running around yeah or half grown killed kids Yeah, there's a whole, another generation of green teens and green nights that are ready to fight at your sides. Well, we need them for sure. We've got, I don't know if you heard, we rescued Ulfgar and he's leading the dwarves,

but later on, it's fallen to theala. So a war is coming for sure. Not to mention the son of the devil, Acarot, is making a play for power as well. So there's competing factions on the board around. It's pretty bad. Yeah, it's all rough up there. Everybody was swinging at the horses.

So I think it's important to do it. But not everyone was playing on that. You should take solace. So what do we have to do? We got to just look at it. I think it's important to focus on Take So what do we have to do we got a? Just look at that also this is our friend Balmour he came from a deck of cards. Hey, how's it going? I'm also a halfling. How are you? Do you know me? Are you my mom? No, I'm not your mom. Hi Balmour. What do you know about the assassination of the arch-dew? I Oh hi, Balnor. What do you know about the assassination of the Archduke? I... Doesn't seem like something that would come up

in this world or the mortal plane. Okay. Seems like more of a you thing, really. Beverly has a list called Balnor's Mom and he checks Kran off of it. Balnor theories is the name of Beverly's list. Okay, just confirming. The tea is ready, by the way. Baalnor theories is the name of Beverly's list. Okay, just confirming.

The tea's ready by the way. Is anyone want some? Yeah, all right. Yeah, I'll take some. I spike it. I spiked the kettle so it spikes it for everyone. Fair enough, yeah. It's a short one.

And I spiked my cup so I'm double. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Double cup love. Before we head out, I picked up some of these in the mountain of the Freefe. And I hold up one of the giant lollipops. Do you know what, do you know anything about these? Oh.

There was a weird little crater that was just fully don't eat that. Okay. Yeah, hard one is just about to put it in his mouth. Crane grabs it and like tosses it in the fire. Cause I thought that'd be fun to swizzle in the tea, but no. Yeah, so the fairies don't actually need to eat their immortal

because of their food, so it makes them younger. Mm. So if young Beverly, for instance, were to just start eating lollipops, he might just die. Oh cool. Because he was like, eight years old. Oh, it was just like, Hilted brink into existence.

Yeah, I guess. One little lick, if you had a party that night, you wanted that youthful glow. Yeah, if you just want to get rid of your crows feet, you know what, just don't steal food from people here in general. Won't do it. I would destroy those lollipops.

Well, you toss mine in the fire, so you do destroy the lollipops. Well, you toss mine in the fire. So you did destroy the lollipop Yeah, you know what scout master hard one. I'm actually like 14 years old and then you're now so If anything I'm the scout master. Whoa, man. I love it salute crann She gets theory. I just let you back pop-hop pop set of my bib and so Let's have a little closet She gets dirty, I just let it go back. Pop pop pops out of my bib and so it's all so. Rair. Let's have a little clause. We're all saluting for a while.

Moonshot, how you feeling? I'm good. Yeah. Oh, and Cran does give, she gives you guys Beverly and Moonwons necklaces. So you guys have these iron pendants, balknor and moochenne. Does it look like I could put the amulet of pellor like mount it into the iron pendant to create a super pendant? Yeah. Alright nice. Can I take some sticks and leaves and wrap them around the necklaces so I can make it a little more my style? Yeah, absolutely. This is...

This combines and really wrap it up. Yes, I think Okay. This is, this is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is.

This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is.

This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. This it. You're able to do a little spell. You hold your hand up, put out some arcane energy, and pray to Polore. You hold your amulet over the fire, and you're able to combine the two. You see the one sun dissolves into the other one.

I'm just weaving. I'm just doing some weaving of vines and crawfish exoskeletons. Cool. I help hard one weave as into his beard. I don't have necklace. Yeah, he doesn't need it. He's got an iron shirt.

Unless you're just talking about weaving a crawfish skeleton into my face, which I am fine with. Which case there's already one in there. It's like a gag thing that you like part your beard and show the exoskeleton. I tried to use that on Triss. It did not work. It doesn't seem like this is helping the beard, but okay.

Oh, I look at, I know we're spinning a lot of time, but I do look at crans feet. And I say, your tattoos are all out of array. Do you want me to help you repaint those? Huh, it's been so long since I've been a city halfling. Yeah, please. All right. I squeezed some of the crawfish out of hard ones beard

into a little jar. And you make a paste, the crawfish paste. Yeah, muddle it up and paste it up. And you togo old crannup. Nice. Ooh, togo me up over at it. We're going into battle. OK, absolutely.

What kind of pattern would you like? Obviously vines and sticks, please. All right. And perhaps some mushrooms. Okay, absolutely. What kind of pattern would you like? Obviously vines and sticks, please. All right. And perhaps some mushrooms. Oh, absolutely. Woo! Beverly goes ahead and gives you guys pedicures. You might get like an amazing face mat,

like face tattoo, henna tattoo, that's like all mushrooms. Yeah, absolutely. I just grab some mushrooms from your head and then I like grind them into a face mask. Oh my goodness, I feel like my true self, who knew I come to the fai and find me. You see, Cran is, you know, she's, she's, she's the, eat fai love.

You guys are really doing some self care. Um, you see, Cran genuinely seems very happy to have other people around. She's very clearly just been living by herself with like her frozen children in a closet for a long time. And she, yeah, she just seems very happy, and excited to have you guys around. She gets in on the, on the pedicure party. Yeah. She paints hard ones nails.

Let's turn this pity party into a petty party. Oh, very nice. Thank you. I know we've been here for a minute, but I do want to ask Cran one more question. What is the deal with the free-fay? They just don't allow themselves with the unceil-y or the sealy? Right, yeah. Okay, so that's as simple as that. Simple as that.

Same thing as the bear prints. They're not aligned with the bear prints, but. Thank you much. How's Uncle Duck doing? Frozen? Uncle Duck is frozen. Okay, cool. One frozen.

He's alive. Yeah. We have a lame duck on our hands, okay. Yeah. All right. Well, add it to the pile, add it to the problem pile. Him and your dad are like 90 years old. 90. Yeah, they're old as hell. I guess that's true.

It's been what, 30 years? Oh, no. I guess they're more like 75 or 80. Yeah, but he's a halfling. guess that's true. It's been what 30 years. Oh, no I guess they're more like 75 or 80. Yeah, but he's a half length so he's they know he's fine. He's got a What if we get oh he's got another hundred years or so. Yeah, it's the lick of the lolly All of our forms so we can come back you know, but then he might end up in service of some one of these weird pixies Fair enough. True. You know, you don't want anyone else to become a honey goblin.

We are. Yeah. All right. Tell you what, can we go kick this bear prince's ass yet? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I fully, I've been waiting like six months to do this.

Yeah. Let's do it. Okay. All of our nails are painted now. So we can definitely do it. So. Yeah. Our war paint on. Y'all, do we want to ambush this motherfucker?

I think the best course might be for me to provide a distraction. The honey goblins will sense if their source of honey is in danger, there are these weird bee humanoids that mine the honey for them. Oh, we heard them buzz. Yes, okay, yeah, they're scary. Have you seen them yet? No, just heard them buzz. Yes, okay. Yeah, they're scary. Have you seen them yet? Take a look. You know see them don't fight them. They're very scary, but they're not in service. They're not

Yeah, they're totally in service to the bear. Oh, Laura. We got a goddamn country to liberate. I can provide a distraction I can attack their honeycomb That will draw the honey goblins out of the cave, and the dry ads are too chill to attack you. That'll let you guys get to the bear prints alone. Okay. Are you sure that seems like a lot of pressure on you

for this part of the planet? We don't want you to get stung. Yeah. Yeah, do you have a needle? Do you have an epipin with you? Just in case. I do have antidotes. I won't get stung.

I'm pretty good at this. All right. Well, we'll trust you. You've been at this longer than we have. Cool, should we roll out? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's go bear hunting.

Just one last thing, the beep, the beep people, do they look more like bees or do they look maybe like some sort of like animated bee from a kid's cartoon? Excellent question. So they have like the six jointed, insectoid arms, but then they have like human-like legs, but then they're big.

They're like our size. They're like half length size. Bad Jerry Soundfeld. No, okay, no. Popular elders. They're not funny. They just kind of scream and buzz. Let out horrible sounds.

If I were to speak the B language, would it sound like they were making observational comedy, though? They just kind of scream and buzz. Let out horrible sounds. If I were to speak the B language, would it sound like they were making observational comedy, though? They are fully monsters. They are fully monsters. The honey goblins are cursed. Gotcha. The Bs are monsters.

Writing that down. Once we get close and we're about to separate, I want to cast pass without trace on all of us. You included great idea. All right, appreciate that. So you see before you guys leave, Cran gets a kind of a very serious look and she sighs and she goes, we should make sure the little ones are looked after because we're not going to be here in the hideout so we should take the kids with us. Yeah. She walks over to the frozen kind of statues of her children.

And Ballonore goes, they'll be safe with me. And he goes to, like, kind of, carelessly put them in the bag. Oh, wait, wait. She just fully slaps them in the face. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. We got car seats in there.

It's the bag of holding, okay? They'll be fine in there. They don't have to breathe, right? They don't have to breathe. No? They don't have to breathe. No, I suppose they're not breathing. Hey, on an upside, if they weren't frozen right now, they'd probably be putting up a stink about being put in the bag, so.

Yeah, nobody likes being in the bag. You know, there's... That's true. The owner doesn't mind being in the bag. I don't mind it at all, I kind of like it. True, yeah, it's a second home. You see Cran laughs and she goes, I was in the bag. I don't mind at all. I kind of like you. Yeah, it's a second home. You see Cran laughs and she goes, I was in a bag. You guys remember?

Yeah. You guys remember when I was in the bag? You were in the bag. I went in on her shoulder. Your children are carrying on your leg. Herring on the Cran legacy. The Cran in Durlin legacy. They're just like, the old block.

A hard one puts them in the bag, Jolly. I cover them with pillows from Grant's house of the world around the pillows. Yeah, I get some duct tape. We're basically like, as if we're mailin' them. Yeah, you guys are like a moving company that doesn't want to get sued. You would sell a fan instead of tape.

Hey, yeah, hey, Cran, remember when we had to keep that egg from cracking for a whole week? Yeah, yeah. It's kinda like that. Yeah, exactly. Hey, it's good having you guys, remember when we had to keep that egg from cracking for a whole week? Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like that. Yeah, exactly. Hey, it's good having you guys around. I like having you guys back. Although this is gonna be terrifying if they suddenly unfreeze and they're wrapped up like us.

Hey, I know the rules of the bag, okay? I'll feel them moving around. Okay. If they start suddenly moving around trying to get out, yeah, Bounder has a fourth level bag sense. Yeah, you see, Bounder bends the knee to Cran and he goes, there's no one better to watch your kids or your bags. I am a Baghdad.

Why does that sound so weird? Hmm. Sounds familiar and yet exotica at the same time. Bounder gives a thousand yards there. All right, let's go. So you guys go back through the halls of crans hide out, then climb back up the ladder, coming out through the triant's mouth

and entering her garden. When you get there, you see pixel, the fairy that you had gone on his property and stole his lollipops. You see him on the edge of the woods. Any else to you. Hey Dickheads, I fixed the horn you broke because I'm self-sufficient.

Don't blow it. He pulls up the horn. And he blows it. I was rolling out of it too late. Oh no. It reverberates. It is super loud. Just, bro.

It lets out this mighty sound that reverberates so much greater than its size. It is super loud. Just, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Most of them have teeny bows, but there is a front line who holds a teeny spears. Wow, you call the cops real impressive. Snitch. Yeah, this looks like self-sufficiency to me. I pay taxes, I pay their salary. And you see, one guy in the front goes, free fairy, these outsiders wish to take our freedom. Let's kill them and take theirs and stab. And they all roar.

Yeah! I really, I really, I feel like you know those guys do their taxes. Cran goes run and start taking off. Yeah, I book it. I run, cast Longstrader on all of us. You may cast Longstrader? Yeah.

Sweet, you cast Longstrader on everybody. Can I pick up a rock and throw it at the pixel before I run? Sure, go ahead. Yeah, I wanna trip Longshard on everybody. Can I pick up a rock and throw it at you pixel before I run? Yeah, I want to trip him on the way There are thousands of them so here's how this encounter is going to work you guys are making a Mad dash to escape the forest to normally rounds only last a couple of seconds But for this condensed chase encounter Five full rounds of dashing will lead to a successful escape of the forest.

However, the magic forest of the free fairy is constantly changing, so you will be encountering five radically different landscapes that you will need to traverse. All wall pixie shoot arrows and spear wielding swarms of fairies make melee attacks. In each landscape, there will be a lair obstacle as well as different tricksters who will attempt to latch onto you. Anytime you fail an athletics check on an obstacle, more swarms of Pixies and lair tricksters will join and attack you each round the fastest way way out of the forest is to just book it and take damage.

However, if you get to a point where you are completely swarmed and have a bunch of guys on you, you can decide to stop for a round and fight. This will intimidate the other fairies from latching on to you and they'll just hang back and fire arrows. You can then take off running again using dash actions. Everybody roll initiative. Shout out to the two crew.

Hey, but I have a six Ten eleven. Okay. I'm just gonna say for the sake of ease Cranches running alongside you guys. I'm not even gonna roll for her So you guys don't have to worry about like saving anyone or anything and Valnor immediately jumps into the back Okay, good boy. Yeah, I don't want to have to be making athletics checks for NPCs that you guys have to save. So the way that this is going to work is essentially you guys are having to use dash actions each round. So if you want to use a spell, you need somebody else to like carry you and you need to

like not do your action. What if it's a bonus action? A bonus action is cool because you're just dashing. Gotcha. So you guys take off into the forest as a cacophony of pixie wings beat behind you. Tiny arrows whiz by your ears. You duck and weave through the forest between trees. Little toothpicks. Little toothpicks. As the dirt below you suddenly turns to rock and you see that you're approaching a large fissure in the earth about 25 feet long.

It doesn't look too deep, but there are jagged rocks below and it would certainly slow you down. However, there are two vines hanging down from the trees above. You may try to use the vines to get across or make an athletics check to jump and clear 25 feet. Those vines are definitely snakes or something weirder. So hard one, you got the lowest initiative. You are in the back. On initiative 15, you get shot by archers. Go ahead and roll a D20 and hope to roll low. 12.

Okay, you get shot 12 times. There are like a thousand dudes shooting at you, so that's actually pretty good. These guys aren't great archers and their arrows are very small and teeny. It's like getting acupunk sure. Oh yeah, that's a good call. So it's kind of nice. Yeah, just like opening up your Chi, I lie down and try to find my center.

Lie down and try and catch the arrows with your meridian points. Yeah, good. We're going to do a role to see if this unblocks his chakras. You take 35 damage. That's a lot. Let's run away from these chakras here. Chakras is still blocked. Bev, that is your turn.

OK. So yeah, you're up at this fissure. These guys are behind you. None of the guys with spears have caught an up to you yet. So if I take an action, they will catch up to us. If you decide to like turn around and attack somebody, I'm going to roll to see how many swarms attach to you. I'm just gonna, yeah, I'll just jump across.

Are you gonna do a jump or are you gonna grab the vine? How do you calculate jump? I'm gonna make you roll an athletics check. Yeah, we're coming back and we're killing this little motherfucker. Absolutely. We're like making a meat that horn. I'm so fucking pissed right now. He's absolutely gonna die.

I wish shove the horn up as your re-thra. That motherfucker, yeah. I agree. Yeah, I'm gonna, no, no, I'll just try and jump across. Okay, go ahead and make an athletics check. Okay. Athletics, I forgot to write the all my new numbers. So it was 25 feet, so the athletics check is a DC25.

Okay, well I got 15. You take seven damage as you fall into the rocks below. Okay. And from above you, one swarm of poisonous snakes falls out of the trees and attaches themself to you like go on you and they will attack on their... So that's what the vine is, right? Okay.

That is... Called it, vines were snakes. Yeah. Yelling it was worth it, it failed on a rock. That is actually the snakes turn. They are going to attack you, they miss. Bev, you fall into this little ditch, gets low down a little bit.

Snakes fall from the trees above, it's terrifying. Like four snakes land on you and they all snap at you, but you're able to kind of like hold their heads away and just like squirm out of the way. But they're sticking with you. Can I toss the snakes at the fayfaries? You cannot because it is not your turn. That is moonshine, sir.

Okay, sorry. What's this chasm like? 25 feet. Oh, that's nothing. Okay, I'm gonna... I don't know, since... Well, yeah, no, I know, but I'm gonna cast jump on hard one and then jump on his back.

Okay, cool. Yeah. So that triples his jump, so that'll make it a pretty easy. You and chant hard one and then jump on his back. Okay, cool. So that triples his jump so that'll make it a pretty easy. You and chant hard one. All right, so that is hard one, sir. Sweet, I'm gonna fire from the glutes, push off the calves, balls of the feet onto the earth and just jump really, really high. Sweet.

And far across the chasel. Yeah, go ahead and make an athletics check. You have triple jump, though, so unless you fail big time. 21. Hard one, you launch across the fizzier, make it the full 25 feet, and extra set of feet.

With moonshine on the back. With moonshine. Posturizing these fairies. Were you, were you wearing underwear today? No. Okay, because I see that now. Yes. You sail over me.

Okay. I also did not realize that moonshine casted anything on me. So I just think you're awesome. It's the classic situation where I don't tail hard one. Hey, I got the snakes though. Don't worry about the snakes. Snakes are taken care of. We look down on Bevin. I can try and like throw and whip you up, but I'm assuming you're good. No, I got snake whips. Baby don't worry about me

So hard one onto those hard one hard one in moonshine you guys make it fully across the way Without taking any more damage Beverly you are in the back. You are slowed down by falling in these rocks You are able to scramble back up you climb up the fissure, but go ahead and roll a D4 Okay, and roll up hard one you're gonna have jump for a full minute So basically this whole run you're gonna have jump for a full minute. So basically this whole run, you're gonna have triple jump. Should I jump in that a run? Beverly, two swarms of fairies

join the snakes that are around you and you just have this little nightmare halo of people biting and scratching at you. They are gonna take two attacks and they hit on the first attack, that is 12 damage by the first swarm of fairies, and the second one also hits for another 14 damage on beverage.

Ooh, you really thought I liked fairies. Peter Pan lied to us. So, you guys all make it to the other side of the Fisher. This is round two. Quickly, the rock turns to dirt again, then leaves and then fresh grass. There is a bit of mist in the air and you see a colorful glow ahead of you.

Red, orange, green, purple, blue, and yellow. You are at the end of a rainbow. And there is a glowing pot of gold there. With four leprechauns lounging around it, you can try to interact with the rainbow and or try to steal glowing pot of gold there with four leprechauns lounging around it You can try to interact with the rainbow and or try to steal the pot of gold or you can avoid it and run through some muddy Tough terrain if you run through the tough terrain though You are gonna get more pixie swarms attached to you that is the archers Beverly is in the back Beverly go ahead and roll a D20 okay, I enrol up

Six six, okay, you get hit six times sure oh in the back, Beverly go ahead and roll a D20. Okay, I enrolled up. Six, six. Okay, you get hit six times. Sure. Oh. How much damage is that gonna be? I will. Tiny little arrows, but they hurt Beverly. Yeah, you are for every damage I'm giving you,

that's you being hit by like three arrows. Yeah, I'm getting quelled over here. Yeah, absolutely porcupine. Yeah. 12 damage. I'm getting whittled down. So, Bev, that is your turn. One more time. There's a pot of gold and then a rainbow exuding out of the pot of gold? Yes.

And leprechauns chilling on the pot. And leprechauns. Don't you dare take our pot of gold. This is our pot of gold, the son of a bitch. I'll give you more gold if you attack those pixies. There's like 5,000 gold in here. I minor illusion a thousand more gold in my hand. Um, you see two of the leprechauns jump off here. I minor illusion a thousand more gold in my hand.

You see two of the leprechauns jump off the gold and they go, sweet, give me the gold. They run over, they try to take the gold from you. I give it to them and I kind of press my hand on their hand and I like, this is good, we are making a business deal. And then I pull it back, not-uh, uh-uh, not yet You got to attack those pixies and then you'll get all the gold you want. They attack you. Okay I'm 18 and then that 20. Oh, no

18 does not hit right That means it doesn't naturally 18 plus six 24 19 damage 12 more damage god the other two leprechaunzel run forward Crit Jesus my god 15 more damage. Oh, I'm down. Beth goes down. Okay, I bet The Pixies and the Swarms turn. Jesus Christ. They are going to, I guess, run and attach to hard one.

So hard one you have now have a swarm of snakes on you and two swarms of Pixies on you. Okay, got it. And they'll make their attacks. Seven damage from one of the swarms of Pixies. Mochain, that's your turn. I'll cast a bonus action, healing word on Beverly, and then I'll run. Thank you. Beverly, you pop back up.

That is hard once turn. Bev, while he was knocked out, fell behind. Oh, OK, so how far ahead of Beverly am I right now? It hasn't been your turn yet, so you're around where he is. You can grab him if you'd like. Okay. I'm gonna go and try to make a deal with the leprechauns. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mm hmm. All right, so what an idea. I love it hip, one for you. I'll open the bag. Balnor thinks that we have crossed the field and I will just shove him back in. Okay. And then I put Beverly in the bag.

Okay. Hey, Balnor. You don't then I put Beverly in the bag. Okay. Hey, Pelnor. You don't need to put Beverly in the bag though because I'm not on you anymore. So there's no purpose to put him in. Yeah, but I kind of like the idea of Beverly being in the bag so we can't get up to any more hygiene. Listen, I'm in time out for sure. I've been benched.

I'm in the penalty box. Beverly becomes baggierly. So hard one, you are running. You've got this pot of gold and this rainbow or this difficult terrain. I'm gonna go, I guess I'm gonna go difficult terrain because I don't wanna be near these fucking leprechauns. Okay. Yeah, they show their colors. So you dodge the leprechauns by not going after

their pot of gold, they will not chase you, but you slow down and get two more swarms of pixies on you. Great. Can I do an action search to run extra? Just like whack as many as you can with your hammer Yeah, so I guess I'll just take a I'm gonna do like a little tornado move with the hammer and see how many little Jerk off second kill sweet you've got four swarms of pixies and one swarm of snakes on you snakes are cool I'm gonna try to hit the pixies. Okay

That's a nat one. Wait, don't you get to reroll that? I could use a luck point, and I guess I will. It's not a bad idea. Jesus Christ, I don't know. That is a 15. That hits. Oh, great.

Yeah. Do I roll damage on these people? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I died instantly, everyone. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's all good, Bev. I feel like if I'd imagine these people are really good at that. Oh yeah, great. Sorry I died instantly, everyone. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's all good, Bev. I feel like if I had...

Live your truth, Bev. I should. I'll talk about it on the show, guys. You fully kill one swarm of pixies. Great, and I'll swing the hammer again. Sweet. 26. That hits.

20. Damage. You kill a bunch of pixies, but one of the swarms is like halved. Sweet. I flip off all of the other ones. I think we should mask her these people. Oh, we definitely do. I'm absolutely coming back to fucking kill this entire fucking party of fairy.

Why don't we just put them all in the bag for 10 minutes? Yeah, that's a fucking good idea y'all they're fucking sticky buns at the bottom of the bag line it up. We just yeah We tossed their big lollipops in there and be like you know So you guys run through the tough terrain you guys avoid the rainbow You guys travel through the forest, but I'm running do I have to do something to about tough terrain? Yes tough terrain means you'll be slowed and so you will get some pixie swarms on you. Let me roll a D4.

Moonshine, you now have two pixie swarms going around you. Is that a piggyback? We should do what's piggy shoulders? What's the, what's the original invite? Yeah. Yeah. Like just a really uneffective way to kick. It's not funny. I also think a fireman's carry is really funny because the person's always super limp. You should chicken fight so you can be the world's tallest dwarf.

Oh, we should definitely check it. Maybe we should do it. Maybe we should do chicken because then we can both be attacking. We'll be like a double-decker attack. You should chicken to a movie. But facing backwards, so you are blocking hard one ones face, but you're able to cast back It's just a mouthful mom The will they won't they

So the air was misty here Obviously the rainbow was created although it was magical But you the air gets evendeer as you guys travel through the woods. And as you guys rush through the woods, you hear the sounds of trickling water and giggling. And as you rush forward to approach it, you see four beautiful sirens having a splash fight. Two merman and two merman women stunningly cut specimens with Elven beauty from the top up. I'm completely unmoved.

And you see six saters nearby are ogling them. You guys see as you rush up to the streams, the sirens look at you guys and go slow down and hang out for a while guys. Go ahead and give me wisdom saving throws. Is this charming? Yes. Can I from the bag?

I got a Nat 20. Oh nice, 20? Yeah, you're cool. I got an eight. You got an eight. Wisdom saving. Don't you think when my Nat 20, I can grab hard one? I got an 18.

You got an 18, you're cool. From the bag, can I take two chunks of tuna sandwich and plug hard ones ears? Uh-huh. Um, on your turn. Yeah, I feel like I should also have advantage because these folks have no beards and it's like so not into it.

But it's magical. But you for a second start to slow down to like admire their bodies and wonder what their diets are. You don't even need to necessarily want to fuck them to slow down a little. Are you guys keto? Hahaha.

Yeah, we most, although, you know, we're low fat too if that makes sense, we're just eat fish. Wow. Yeah. Whoa. Pescaterian, huh? Never thought of that as a diet. You don't, you don't eat carbs,

but you also don't eat high fags or eatin' fish. I mean, fish are pretty fatty. Like every part eat the bones as well. So as you guys approach this stream, hard one slows down a little bit too. Just for a brief second, looks at their bodies. Go ahead and roll a D20, hard one. And roll low.

Roll low. 12 again. I'm having a shit day on the dice. 12 is pretty good. Well, not forgetting to shot with that many errors. 30 damage. Ooh, how are you? I'm okay.

Okay, not good. Then Bev, that is your turn. If you would like to do something like plug hard ones of ears or something, he is slowing down. Yeah, wait, is it, you failed your charm check. Yeah, right now he's like,

he's like slowing down a little bit and kind of checking them out But he's still running but it's not his turn yet. So he hasn't like fucked himself I'm a little bit of a jog. I say your head is like out of the bag right next to galads Yeah, he's on a swivel he's on a swivel right now. Hey hard one earmuffs and I clap his ears with two in a fish Okay, clap Just an earful of two in a fish. I've had so much fish in my head. Hard to opposite my beard.

That's what they are. They're fish. Hard to one two now. I've faced your my beard. Filled your ears. My ears. And you focus up. That is the swarms turn.

One swarm of snakes in your ear. Can I show the faith in as a bonus action? Yes. Cool. Okay, so the snake's a little first that makes my two AC snakes miss. Um, one of the swarms of fairies is going to hit for seven damage. Um, and another one hits two for six damage. That is moonshine's turn. Okay, so I'll just have to run. Yeah, you can just run, you can make, you have to like, show up on the shoulders though.

Or get through the, you can watch some how. Can I not find a shoulders? If Bebs and the Bag you can, yeah. Okay, I will hop on a shoulders then and, We are a machine. I'll hop on a shoulders in which case, I'll have a spell to use and I'll cast uh is it have we've

been getting hit by arrows is that what yes then I'll cast Warden Wind. Sweet. How fuck what does that do? Uh that's basically gives every attack disadvantage. Oh hell yeah. Like every ranged weapon attack disadvantage. Sweet. I just want to remind everyone listening that I forgot to use my shield of arrow catching. Don't point that out. Cool. Also, so now I'm on Hardwands, Hardwands shoulders. We've got awarding wind and he's got three times the jump. Yes, wait, this is a goddamn circus. What I'm gonna do with this, what I'm gonna do with this going forward is since we were using

different mechanics, I just said, you know, roll the D20, that's how many people hate you because you guys all have the same ACs. There's no point in me even calculating it. There are tons of arrows coming at you guys. I will say with that spell, you'll now take half of whatever you roll in the D20 because they're all at disadvantage. So you take half. So that is hard one's turn. Hard one, you still do need to get over the stream. You have tuna over your ears. So you said- But remember he's got three times the jump.

And you've got three times the jump, three times the tuna. All right, sweet. So I think first I'm gonna, I wanna take a gander at Bev's amulet. Cool. And jump, leaping off the head of one of the murphos. Ha, ha, ha. Sweet, you run over at first, you're admiring them.

They're sweet, honeyed words, you want to ask them about their diets. Bev puts the tuna sandwich over your ears, then you're focused up, you go over, you step on their heads like stepping stones and get to the other side. Hard one fish head. So as you guys jump to the other side of the stream and run off into the woods, you see the sirens look at the saders who are ogling them and go, if you ever want to chance with us, you'll go kill them. And you see the saders get up and go, yeah, this is our only chance.

They're totally going to get with us if we catch them. And the six saders take off after you hard one. None of these are the Sators that we're going to Faye Chela that we, children with the correct, huh? I don't think so. So now you've got three swarms of pixies, one swarm of snakes and Six Sators on yours.

It's like that. This is like the 12 days of fishing. Three swarms of fairies. So Six Sexy Sators, the splashing of the sirens fade behind you as you continue your dash to the theories. So, six sexy satars. The splashing of the sirens fade behind you as you continue your dash to the forest. The stream was previously running horizontal to your running path, but you see it hooks and begins running parallel to you down the way. Suddenly it begins raining, pouring. The stream quickly overflows and the landscape begins to flood.

The dirt turns to mud around you and you begin to sink into the thick muck. But luckily the canopy above you has plenty of hanging branches. And you're going to need them because you see the four sirens have caught up with you and are now showing their true form. These strange insectoid murfolk covered in mud and shrieking. So Namu Chai thinks they're hot. Yeah, maybe we were hasty to it. Hey, look at those mandibles.

The mud sort of looks beard like. So that is the Archer's turn. Hard one, go ahead and roll me. Wait, are the saters and the sirens chasing us? Oh, yeah. Okay. Cool. Nat 20.

Cool. Wait, oh, is that a bad thing? Yeah, that's bad. That's bad. I didn't know. Oh, you know what bad thing? Yeah, that's bad. That's a bad thing. That's a bad thing. I didn't know. Oh, you know what, can I use a luck point on that? Oh, sure.

All right, great. I don't know if I can take all the damage. Such a bitter 20. 10. Okay, so five. Hard one you take 14 damage. Okay. Then that is Bev's turn.

We're just being chased now. What's the terrain? There is the whole area is flooded. You guys are in deep muck. Hard one is probably jumping from stone to stone, from tree to tree as you guys keep going. And there are more folk that have just come out of the ground and are trying to catch up to you guys.

Can I try and use Nature's Wrath to make a vine path? Oh, you know what I want to try and do? Okay. I want to take a javelin and aim it at some of the people that are chasing us. The guys who are swarming you? Yes. Yes, you can absolutely, if you hit one,

you'll slow them down the, essentially, be out of the fight. Great. So you've got six saters, three swarms of pixies and one thing of snakes. I'll aim at the saters. Just one. Yeah, I guess the one that looks the most desperate.

Okay. Which one looks most like a fuckboy? I can tell. I can tell they're gonna fuck me if I just help them. Oh god. Poor guy. I just know. You got clean up your life.

Does 23 hit? 23 does hit? Okay, and I'm gonna do a snaring strike as a bonus action. Sweet. So they are stuck. And they take 1-6 piercing damage. What did it do roll?

Oh, sorry. It's a strength saving throw. OK. They got a 10, so they fail. Cool. So they're gone. They don't even need to roll damage. Vines wrap around them, and they're stuck behind.

No, no, I swear I had a part in this. I had a part in this. You have to date me. Are they hard like getting wrapped around with vines and their penises are poking out? Yeah, are they into it? No, they're not into it because they want to impress the sirens. You have to reevaluate some things. Okay, that is the Swarms turn. Hard one's AC is now 19 because the shield of faith goes away after the ensnaring strike, so the swarm of snakes will attack. Matt 20. Cool.

From the snakes. But that one's Sator. Don't worry about him. He's known the error of his ways. 11 damage, hard one. Okay. Then the three swarms of Pixies will go. Shout out to the two crew, Miss.

Nine and 12, they miss. Then five saiders, swing at ya as they chase ya. Five fucking saiders. They all, uh, three of them miss. Last two guys miss as well. Nice. But then you see these four sirens pull up and um, moonshineine are you also? I'm on a shoulder. You're on his shoulders, okay, then they're just gonna have that to a hard one. Uh-oh.

Our play is not common. These two guys miss, first two guys miss, one of the guys hits. One of the sirens bites you for eight. Eight, okay. Eight. Five, it's you, freaky. Hot.

Hot. Yeah, does that make the Sators super jealous? Ha ha ha. They don't like you, they're trying to's you. Freaky. Hot. Hot. Yeah, does that make the Sator super jealous? They don't like you, they're trying to kill you. That is Mochant Stern. Okay, I want to cast Freedom of Movement on Hard One now. Okay, there we go. So that now he's unaffected by difficult terrain and he can't be paralyzed or restrained. Toe. by difficult terrain and he can't be paralyzed or restrained. Dope.

Cool. And also being underwater imposes no penalties on his movement or attacks. Sweet. I'm going to die back into the river. Yeah, I mean, the water's coming up all around you guys to the point that the sirens are just like swimming through the forest after you guys. Yeah. Oh, awesome.

So we are having a chicken fight. Yeah, there we are. We're having a chicken fight. It's come to that. Oh. Okay, so after that, you guys see the rain? And then also when I see, when, because this happens,

I think I'm gonna like, I think I'm gonna try and position myself more on his hip so that maybe like a siren might attack me. I'm like a monkey. Yeah. So you sort of like slid down me like a fire pole. Yeah. You're right inside, Saddle.

Just sort of like slid down me like a fire pole. Yeah. You're right inside Saddle. Just sort of like to invite multiple targets. Like it's so I can be in the fray. Is freedom of movement concentration? No, it's not. So warding wind is still going. It's just concentration. OK, cool. I almost did confusion on the sirens

and then I saw this concentration. Got it. OK, so the rain is pouring down with an unnatural fury. And the ground below you is flooding to the point that the water is reaching the tree line But what's still booking it through the water just winning fast Triple job freedom of movement I'm gonna say that the

Saiders fall way behind because a freedom of movement It's just the pixies the snakes because the snakes are like actually freedom of movement. It's just the pixies, the snakes, because the snakes are like actually wrapped around you. It's quite terrifying. And the murphos. The murphos can keep up, but I'll say freedom of movement allows you to get away from the sators because the sators are swimming.

The skating cross-banner. Wait, don't, don't go. No, we need to fuck those irons. So you guys are swept up in the waters as the entire forest flows like a raging river. And you see that you are headed for a waterfall. But behind you, you see that the four murfolk disengage. They start swirling around each other.

You see rain, you see lightning crashing, and you see their skin Begins to attach to each other and bubble as they come together to form a giant Tentacled love crafty and monster. Oh my god. Then that is the pixies turned hard one go ahead and roll your D20. Yeah, of course Thanks for rolling. Another Nat 20. Cool. Jesus! That's 10.

But still only 10. That's insane. Your Nat 20s are finally coming back to haunt you. Is it 10-a-cal monsters still attractive? No. Okay. That's on 13. 36 damage.

Ow. You up? Yeah. All right. How are you looking? How are you feeling? I don't want to tell Merv. But my AC or my health, my HP is the number that I just rolled. Hmm.

Beth, that is your turn. All right, I'm going to go ahead and give you a big slap on the back. Touch hands right on. Yeah. Touch ass. Yeah, right on each cheek. How much you want? Cup cheeks.

I said it on my hands. Cup cheeks. How many do you have? What can you use for the cheeks. I said it like that. Cup cheeks. How did you have, what are you, what can you say? 45 is the maximum. I'll take 20. All right, I gave you 20. Cool. 10 for each cheek.

Yes. How else can I buff this shuttle? The hard one expressed. Chew, chew. Chew, chew. Too. So the entire forest is turned into this crazy, raging, magic river.

There's just like brown water around you. It's like this insane flood. You guys are all flowing towards this waterfall, but in the meantime, after Bev's turn, that is all of the monsters turn. So, say it or it's a fallen way behind. We won't worry about them. The snakes hit 10 damage.

The Pixies go, first two go. One and a two they miss. Last one goes and misses. Yeah. Then that is this tentacle monster, which will take three attacks. Oh, god. Oh.

Missed on the first attack, real natural four. Hits on the second attack, and hits on the third attack. Let's see what these tentacles do. Who's going to be carrying this? Maybe they're like cupping. Maybe it'll be like a whysup this swimmer. Oh, yeah, a phelps. Yeah, phelps.

Just get some like, two. 22 damage on the first attack. OK, I don't think it's nothing ever mind 20 damage on the other attack. I am down hard Feel like we could have done this better guys That is we should have taken the horn. That's what we should have done Yeah, that is moonshine's turn But with hard one being out you guys are in this fucking flowing river So all you got to do is just make sure he doesn't die. You're moving on your own It's Moonshine's turn, but with hard one being out, you guys are in this fucking flowing river.

So all you gotta do is just make sure he doesn't die, you're moving on your own. Oh, so he's like a boat. You don't need to carry hard one. You need to like grab. Trainbeaut comes boat. You have a duck boat. Yeah.

Okay, so I need to know how close are we to the edge? You will be there by the end of this round. Okay, can I like grab hard one and then thorn whip to try and get off of the, like to try and get over the edge? Yeah. Yes, yeah, I'll let you make an attack roll to do that. I'm gonna try and do that.

Okay, and so you've got, so Bev is in the bag. Yes. Moonshine's gonna try to thorn whip Okay, so you're essentially going to you're gonna hold an action I'm gonna hold an action, but I do have a bonus action. I can do while while I'm waiting to thorn whip So can I do a bonus action? I'd like to healing word Okay, great hard one you pop back up. What's the word you're a boat now? The word is get up it for an idiot. I

Guess did you put the bag on your stomach now that you're a boat or am I just drowning? It was on the front okay. I did you for 18. I did a second level of dealing with a nice And then I got that I've got that thorn whip ready to try and do that okay That is you know you're ring a feather fall on right? I do. Yeah, absolutely fuck us over. Okay. That is hard once turn. You're you're swept up in all this water But what would you like to do? I guess I just want to pat myself down for the bag mix and make sure glad's head has And come off my belt got to keep your trophies in the lawn. Yeah, you have a glad head. All right, cool.

Have I sort of done that like witch doctor thing where I mummify and shrink the head, kind of like that like... That's up to you. I would say he's a skeleton by now. Okay, so it's a skull. You need a witch doctor. Yeah, like a strong cancer.

Yeah, I think you should have a strong conglomerate head. Yeah, I want to let's say I witch doctorate. I want it to look kind of like a keychain. Oh, and maybe you put some dried beans on the inside so that when you shake it, it sounds like a Morocco, not a Morocca egg shell or whatever. Yeah, yeah, totally. I know what you're gonna say.

I thought I was gonna know the name of it, but I don't. But I do get it. So I'm gonna attack, I'm gonna attack the snakes. Okay. 16. That hits. 26 damage.

Shit. Yeah, you killed the snakes. You bashed the snakes off of you. Sweet, who else is around? Is it just the three swarms of pixies? All right, and then I'll go for one of the swarms of pixies. 27. Sweet, that hits.

25 damage. Sweet, you fully kill one swarm that was like half dead, and you start to injure another one. There's just two left, and then this big love crafty and dude. Cool, then I will also take my second wind. Sweet, and get a little HP back. So then, you guys get towards the edge of this waterfall. You guys see that all of this crazy rain and lightning

and weather that was affecting the mountain is not affecting anything in the distance. You see a beautiful spring day in the distance, just the rolling green hills of the bear prints in the distance in the valley. You see the field of flowers below you. And you guys are in this insane muddy water. You do look down just before you're about to fall

and see that the water turns into like a beautiful crystalline pond at the bottom, but you're about to go over this waterfall. You'd like to use... Yeah, so I'm releasing the warning wind so that I can get like a good like, so that doesn't interfere with me throwing the Thorn Whip. Okay.

And I want to try and like, Thorn Whip something so that we can kind of safely, what do you call that swing in to? Oh, it's rope swing. Yeah, it's like a rope swing. Yeah, okay, so we're just trying to have a little fun. It's like a hundred, it's like a hundred feet down. Do you want to, so you want to start to fall down the waterfall,

then do it, and then just like, Like when we're going down, when we're going down, and we see that it's like, the range is like 30 feet. So like once I'm within like 30 feet, I'm going down. You want to soften your fall. I also, I have the ring of feather fall too, so for all, no. No. Too many shenanigans. Yeah. You guys go over the edge, go have the ring of featherfall too, so for all, no. That's bad shine. Too many shine against.

Yeah. You guys go over the edge, go over the waterfall. You fall 70 feet. You're about 30 feet from hitting the surface of the water. You have no idea how deep it is. You might be falling for a lot of damage. Moonshine. Actually, let's say 35 feet, so we're just dangling 5 feet.

Ideally, we're dangling 5 feet over the ground. Moonshine, go ahead and make an attack roll. 22. Yes, 22. Moonshine, you wrap your whip around a tree branch. You successfully catch yourself. And a hard one, as you guys are about to hit this pond, the branch does instantly break,

but if anything, that's good, because you would completely fuck yourself jumping 70 feet and then holding on to hard one, like at a dead stop. So you basically, you slow your fall and you guys fall into this pond below. Nice. You guys are now at the bottom of the mountain

of the free ferry. You've got this field of flowers right by you, and you do hear the ferry still coming over the edge still flying down at you. Get em! Oh, they did not give up! I picked up bouquet of flowers. You picked up bouquet of flowers. I don't.

But what? Wait, doesn't don't these do it? Oh, damn. Wait, pick the fuck up flowers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They killed the fish. I'm running over, I'm picking every single fucking flower. These are these free flowers. And these flowers are turning into chills. I take my hand axes and I just run through the field blowing flowers down you see dozens and dozens of dozens of trolls come on. I free you trolls! Yeah!

Champion of the trolls! Enemy to the seely! And you see Kran goes, oh god, oh this is horrible. I said, Tom, tell those free folk that Moon Jon Sabin sent you. Moon Jon Sabin sent us. We were flowers, but now we're trolls, we ain't pixies. Bring us their horn, brothers. Harman, Sharford, pixie slayer, Mooshine, Simon,

Bane of the pixies. I just want y'all know, if you bring me the head of a pixie, you get a gold. Yeah, we love gold. I'm calculating. Yeah, we have enough. You guys grab bouquets and bouquets of flowers. They all turn into trolls

You hear the pixies go shit run The pixies all start fluttering away as a bunch of trolls like dozens and dozens of trolls run into the woods You just see fires instantly going up and smoke going everywhere. Oh, I feel so fucking angry at that little piece of shit Yeah, I want to go back to his hut and make sure he's dead. That's true. Whenever we get it, it's down time. I think their kingdom is done. I think he's going to be killed.

Kill everyone you want, but bring us the farmer alive. Yeah. You are a geopolitical scourge at this point. Forever change. Yeah. You know, you never think you're gonna be the one that chooses sides until I know You choose hard just like more fires going on behind you just the whole kingdom is being raised

My eyes are like my eyes are like alive either like a lid up with excitement Action I'm like enjoying watching them burn those little fuckers It's you I eat the tuna from my ears. I want to take a piss in that little creeps enjoying watching them burn. Those little fuckers. We do. I eat the tuna from my ears. I wanna take a piss in that little creeps horn. Creep that started at all. Cran, what did the seely think of the free fairies? Is this cool?

Are we in trouble? The seely and the free fairy don't really interact. No, you're sorry, great. They weren't cool. Great. We're in the clear. don't really interact. No, he's sorry, great. They weren't cool. Great. We're in the clear. They were the worst. Did you guys do anything that might have upset

that one, Fairy? I have an oh, I think that his law in pop's got stole. What, we gave him the yield of a fucking lifetime. We made it. That's true, the pop's huge. Yeah, we made some big, we did take a few of them, but like still a net game for him. I hated that, we'll see. It was a bad, it was a bad, it was just ordinary. I them, but like still a net game for him. Yeah, I hated that will say

It was a bad news a bad news is ornary. Yeah, it was a libertarian Yeah, you got it you look you got to do what you got to do a tough times not super sacked Do it really so many trills out into the wild got only knows what they'll do when they're done taking over the fairy mountain I see no repercussions. I mean, I absolutely understand that concern, but my personal grudge is kind of bigger than this, I think. I think the hundred or so troz-trolls that you just released will easily handle those 2,000 fairies that were chasing us. I mean, Fingers Gras is just a perfectly even fight.

The two are just in a little center, just like completely. Yeah. Let the grass take over the field again. The two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of the two of I think I isn't it always yeah This episode of NAD pod has brought to you by bird dogs They're a company that makes pants and shorts so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two You can rest assured that bird dogs as you covered now We all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side. It's gonna be difficult Luckily bird dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of

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That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. If you're a husband can take another day, chillin' with the bell, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the I'll work out the tension. Give Moon's genital almost a... She'll the flowers. Yeah, hard one's gonna just post up in the ponds. It was a little pixie that that little farmer was. Pixies and gnomes.

Gnomes and pixies. The smaller they are, the worse they are at scenes. Oh, I don't know who to judge. Pixies and gnomes and pixies. That's really frame. Halflings are the perfect choice. The sharpens are... Rosalie. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Let them for the honor of fairy man. I wanna eat them. I wanna eat them and shin their mouths. You know what? I think I got so hot to trot during that,

that I think I need to do some meditation. I'm gonna do some meditation with Laura. And sort of be like, hey girl, I got like out of sorts there. I don't know how you feel about unbridled rage every once in a while. Is that a natural part of life? Do you want to do like a religion check? See if you get like a sign. Yeah. 18. I mean I can go into how I'm feeling. I'm just I felt a flush of anger at that little fucker

for coming back at us and it felt vengeful and petty. That's what it was. It was like a petty exhale. And I'm not talking about my toes, although they are petty as hell. Ha, ha, ha. Munchan, you feel a little gust of wind and you feel like a little gust of wind

and you feel like a little bit of like a warm spring breeze on you, kind of centers you a little bit, chills you out a little bit. Okay, okay, I see, I see. Don't run hot and cold, keep it warm. Keep it warm all the time. Nice, molora luke warm. I understand. Tip it.

Ha ha ha. Hard one, you take a bath in the pond. Hmm. Leaving my crick-not intact. I help, I help Belmore out of the bag. Oh yeah. How'd it go out there, guys? Not bad. Super. A lot of arrows.

Yeah. We started a war between very control, but I think we identified the good guys. You know how normally we make per second Beverly was thrown in here and he was full of stab wounds. I was sad, too. Well, you know how normally we make like 50% of the people mad? We did a full 100 this time. Just everyone was pissed at us. Do you want some ear tuna, Belnor?

Yeah. Too much to ask. It's some of that waxy tuna. Are we doing a full long rest? Because I got no spells. I would not. Yeah, I definitely fucking drained my spells. Yeah, you see, Kran goes the pay,

operate on a way slower schedule than us since every day is the same. So the bear prints probably is expecting, expecting you back for like a month. Okay, yeah. If you guys just go to bed, you're cool. Cool.

Well, can we spend the day kind of just like hanging out by this nice lake? Yeah. Oh, on my picnic. Yeah, first we have a nice, let's have a picnic day. Slowly, slowly, the sounds, the sounds of battle like dissolving the background. Down at the creek, we do a picnic pot.

So we get a nice mud pot and we fill it up with food. So that's what I did. I got to pick my pot. You guys begin to hear like war cries of trolls like, build, troll mountain, it is on the troll king. Yeah, it's just like cheers go on the background. You guys affected the geopolitical landscape of this mountain for generations to come.

I think the free focal rise again. Yeah nature nice. Take out I said I ignore this and set out a little picnic and take out all the all the bento boxes I made. Like two of my, wow. Yeah, the body of a fairy just floating by my feet as a bird lands on my face. Yeah. Oh man, did you make like salted Kyoto style sushi? No, I made a crawfish sashimi. Even better. Yeah, much in the way that like.

Now that you've got sashimi, I'm proud of that. That you'll get like bugs in your pool. And you to use the skimmer to get them out, you see the fairy start coming down the waterfall. Oh man, that's really nice. I'm gonna use them like noodles. and you to use the skimmer to get them out, you see the fairy start coming down the waterfall. Oh man, that's really nice. I'm gonna use them like noodles. Oh, this will be our first night in the Feywild, right?

Yeah. Okay, I'm just like keeping a tally, knowing that time is a key. Knowing the time, fuckery that will take place. Okay, so one day, we're probably fine. The all probably can't take over in one month or week or whatever one's in here. Like a second in our world.

Yeah, for us it was when you guys showed up, I don't know if it changes every time. Bev's trying to do the math, but it's been a while since Bev had to do math. No, this is smart thing, Bev, let's use our short rests wisely. Yeah, or rather use our long rests wisely. All right. This is definitely a, Kempav, let's use our short rests wisely. Yeah, or rather use our long rests wisely All right, this is definitely a wise moment because I would say tank-sempathy we did it

Fairies got me fucked up. Yeah, normally we only affect one faction, but we really we've really bungled up the map today I Don't know how I feel about this pay world like let them descend into the trolls. I am the true trolling! No! Oh good no. Oh, the gravel! You winny! Wow. Regicide! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hard one grabs his hammer. I must defend the troll king. Wait, there is like an HBO drama happening amongst these troffos.

I want to play that campaign. Did they just launch a satellite? It's full civilization five. The King in the middle of the mountain. To the King in the middle of the mountain. Oh, Laura. All right. Well, I'm making a crown of clover.

Okay. I'm gonna make crown of clover. Okay. I'm gonna make sure that they tell you now. You guys go to sleep for the night. You guys make camp at this very nice pond. The bodies of fairy stack up in the pond. A couple of in a couple of trolls. Yeah, in a couple of a troll every once in a while. It smells like absolute shit.

Yeah, there's a troll with a makeshift crown. I'm sorry, I can kill. I'm not going to kill. troll with a makeshift crown. I'm sorry, I can kill. Do you know who I'm gonna be? I take the makeshift crown. Sweet. I definitely want to write some idyllic music for this moment as we peacefully have a, a crick-knit. As the body's going to run over the past.

Oh, it's the chaos. We're clinking glasses. Thank the body's fall to the floor. So you guys go to bed for the night. It's a little bit disorienting because the sun never moves. You guys just take a morning nap essentially for eight hours. Wake up the next day or what should be the next day, but it is the exact same time.

It is still morning. It's disorienting. Yeah. Yeah, take some getting used to. So it's just never night? It's not here now. There's not even a roar of ory-alice or anything? No, it's night all the time now in the summer, Corp.

Hmm. Really? Yeah, cause winter's taken over. All right, well, Cran, lead the way. I think we're all feeling up to it. You guys start walking again through the field of flowers. Help us! Help!

You've had all the help you're gonna get. I pick one flower. And I say kill the king. I'm gonna give you a crown, give me a crown. Oh yeah. You're the new king. Go claim your throne. The god to the fair wilder determined. I am the true true king.

Runs off towards the mountain. We pick another game of look out. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. If I pick up the soil with the flower, does it remain a flower? Yes, okay. Let's do that. Let's pop one of these and we can maybe

pull them at the right moment. We have an instant troll. You see, Cran goes, be so careful. Trolls are not good. I know that they just, you essentially just released a bunch of serial killers to deal with your annoying neighbors. Okay. So maybe don't release serial killers in cities,

places where, all right. So last resort. Okay. Or maybe just don't do it. Totally. I picked the flower, kill the king. That's it, last one. All right, just try it.

Cool. So no troll suicide bomber, all right, gotcha. Yeah. All right, so I'm gonna go after the beacon, stop their honey source, get the honey goblin to come chase me. You guys, when you see the honey goblin's leave, you guys going after the bear prints.

Got it. Sounds good. Bring it in, pass without trace. You cast pass without trace on all you guys. Hands in, go boobs. One, two, three, boobs. Boops. Boops.

She salutes you guys, scout masters. Pop, pop, pop, that just salute. Rare. Go with Polor. Go with Polor. Go with Polor. Go with the summer court. It's a salute to you guys. Wait, sir, is there any way that how are we gonna get in touch

with you after this happens? Are we gonna meet back at your place? Can't you report Sporzer? I think my- There's a limit to how. I think after everything that's gone on with Fairy Mountain, I don't think we're going back to my place. I'll come to the bearer princess hide out.

I think if you guys don't win this fight, all is lost anyway, so I'll go and I'll face him. I'll get revenge. Right, okay. If you all become honey goblins, I will... Where there's worse fates. It's gonna be okay. Moonshan, we're gonna rescue your girlfriend.

Yeah, well, let's not put labels on it. So, Kran wishes you guys good luck, and she runs off in the opposite direction. You guys have gotten to this area, this valley, where there was the river. She goes off the one way. You guys cross the river and go back towards the, where you originally saw the dry ads

And where you guys know the bear prince is hideout to be so you guys travel through the forest sneaking through And sneak back to the bear prince's cave Subtruis They're tris Oh, Tris Hey, what's up? Tris, good to see you Dry ads popping out to say what's up, Drew? Good to see you. Dry ads popping out to say what's up.

And then you get to the Bear Princess Hideout, this beautiful natural keep that looks to have grown into the side of the mountain. There are the various stone balconies, including the main one with a pool that turns into a steaming waterfall. There are dry ads chilling in the courtyard and honey goblins marching in with buckets of honey.

The gufflin' adds chilling in the courtyard and honey goblins marching in with buckets of honey. And marching out with empty buckets setting off to go get more. And you do see up in the Infinity Hot Tub is the Bear Prince. Just chilling, drinking some honeymead, and staring off pensively like a douchebag. You wait for a little while for Cran to cause the distraction It takes a little time and you probably start to get a bit concerned until finally you hear the sound of a distant Explosion and all at once the honey goblins begin acting strangely in tandem. They all hop up and down and go You see them race out of the keep in hordes and begin running in the direction of crann. The bear prints leans over on the edge of his hot tub

but looking even more pensive, which is about as concerned as this chill douchebag gets. Yeah, that is a fro the brow like that. His brow is so fro. Luke, try to be able to do it. Yeah. Hard one to do a performance check. Oh, fuck me.

Ted? Yeah. Yeah. Hard one, do a performance check. Oh, fuck me. 10. I'm gonna shield him so the trusses can't see this. Yeah. Mooshan just puts her hand over Hard one's face. Yeah, you're doing really good. The trusses might get, you know, seduce by you and we're about to fight them. It's a good call.

Yeah. It's those baby blues. That's where he gets his power from. As you guys get a little closer, as you guys kind of sneak around the bear princess layer go ahead and give me stealth rolls I got a 29 did you do pass without trace? Yeah, yes, you get plus 10. Okay, actually you're right. I got a 32 27 16 16 let's do some Rolls for these. These what?

Triads. One of these trisses looks out into the forest and clocks Beverly and goes, oh hey, oh it's so good to see you again. Yeah, you're back. Yeah, totally. You're back. I heard about the honey shortage. That's a bummer.

Hey, Bear Prince! Your friends are back! Um... Guys, you see the Bear Prince leans over the side of his infinity hot tub and looks at you Beverly and goes... It is like so good to see you again, dude. Yeah, yeah, totally you as well. You're looking great. Thanks, man.

You're furr is so well-capped. Hey, thanks, dude. You didn't have anything to do with the honey crisis we're having right now, are you? That is right that you would assume that. That is honestly trite and crass that you would even assume that. Yeah.

That is super unchill of me. Why don't you come out of the woods and come talk to me and come chill in my hot tub. And let's just have a chill discussion, you and I. All right, well, first I've got to obviously put on my swim trunks. Cool, get over here, dude. I'm putting on my swim trunks. Get it over here, dude.

Dude, I'm putting on my over here, dude. I pulled on my pants and throw a javelin at it. And that's where we'll end our session. Okay. With Beverly with pants around his ankles, throwing a javelin, at Bear Jared Leto. It was a little circle for not being allowed to skinny to feel upset this day.

Oh, what a journey. Oh my goodness. We should have done the tower from the beginning. We mean like we should have attacked him from the beginning. No, I was saying when we were running, we should have just assumed the hard one train from the beginning. That would have been total pull.

Yeah, the total pull. But hey, guys, you can't beat ourselves up about it and we'll talk about it on the short wrap. True, true, true. Oh yeah. That's right, guys. Head on over to patreon.com slash nadpod. That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d

Do you say yet? And we'll talk about it Thank you guys so much for listening. We got some stuff to plug guys watch hot date me and Emily sketch show on Netflix Yeah, it's so funny and hun sexy. Oh, yeah You can check out our book. It's called hey you up Up, how to turn your booty call into your emergency contacts, or a satirical relationship advice book. I can get it on Amazon or on Audible. And Fantasy High wrapped up,

so we don't really need to plug that, but you can watch old episodes of Fantasy High. And to mention 20, if you want to check out College Humber Streaming Service, our other D&D play show, call the old one you got to plug. Ooh, it's hard to keep up, because of how we record this, but I'm pretty sure the Big city greens is still airing,

so check those episodes out on Disney or Amazon or iTunes. We did a back-to-end to our first season, and these episodes are really fun, and I think you're gonna like them a lot. Hell yeah. Ooh. And I started a brand new soccer podcast or football with everybody else.

Yeah, we are, Minamiya are getting into the EPL, the English, English Premier League soccer. We're trying to choose our favorite soccer team. Okay. Uh, and I will stop calling it soccer. I'm trying to call it football. We're trying to use the favorite football team. I thought you were a hooligan, man. Yeah, we'll, but check that out at patreon.com slash J.A. Uh, if you want to send us stuff, how did they do that? Although in 1920, Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Losfiles, California, 90027.

There's a tiny box and they put little slips in there and then I check them and it makes me happy. Oh yeah. It makes us so happy. So happy. And follow us on Twitter, guys, at CHMURF is me, at Culliast Culliast call the wall, Adi Extrude is Emily, at J. Kerr, which is Jake

and tweet about the show using hashtag NADPA, that n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d. We are we are the youth of a nation we are we are the youth of a nation. It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders For the first time in a long time We've got the whole dang crew here. We're here. That's right starting with Brad D the only Pebblepoth that is in Craven gave Denny his first pair of rubber pants since he was Pissing himself so much Jay Loma 72 aka steel breaker hard one's gymspiration Beat the Bear Prince in a lifting competition, even though the Prince was on Bear Roids. Zeroy'd infused honey. Dillon B, a sword-wielding wizard who used the bastard sword instead of a wand, Dillon B

could slice Harry Potter the fuck up. Don't. Yes, Danny P. Bohumia's resident artist, painted Hardwan's senior portrait at the Dwarf Finage. Why was Hardwan getting it painted at the doorfinage and not at school? We don't know. Danny found it too sad to cry. Thank you for not asking. Tom P. Father of the Realm and Serenader of Sleeping Babies has a dad snore twice as mighty as Balnor's. Wow. Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike. Invented Bohumia's version of Smurnoff Ice

called Venerals Spike Snowcola. I'm trying. Gripping as the A.K. the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch Knight, ex-owner of the Badgers Pint Inn in Tavern, also ex-owner of the silver, Hyphpotheses Jim, now the ex-owner of a 2008 Toyota Corolla that's right, Griffin

sold their car. Congrats, Griffin! Oh, Griffin. Hope you got a good deal. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohumia, spans across plains. The boobs could use it to get back to the material plane if only they could find it. Oh, what? Scott D, a talking cat, not a tobacco seed, just a clever feline.

Wow, love to see that. Erin C, the homeless man that was used by the band of boobs to distract the chosen back-and-glater on. Inspired by their bravery, Erin followed them to the Feywalt to help. All they'd be frozen solid along with the green nights. Sorry about that, Erin. Wow.

Hermes, W, the back-ing. There's all this talk about Celian, Unceely Kings and Queens, but everyone forgets about the bats. Meanwhile, Hermes just waits for an opportunity. RJW carries a big ol' gun that shoots spells. Healing spells. RJ loves shooting people and making them feel better.

That will be the scariest but greatest moment of your life. Just to be like, ah, no, don't, don't. You're not the stupidest. Oh. Healed. Spartus, a powerful gladiator and secret romantic. It seems the one battle spartus can't win is love. Thank.

Hate to see that. Adam are the R-rated assassin. Adam commits their crimes nude because it makes for easier cleanup, but also because Adam is kind of a sick fuck. You know, keep it sick, my friends. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max, HP has more HP than Ulfcarves. Cassandra had jumped out of the airship they would have just

taken a second to shake it off and gotten on with their day. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly that they injected more poison into the poison berries of crants, hide out just a fuck with the boobs a little You fill that moonshine. QC aka, Helldoor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn to fall alongside Elias and Red, Helldoor used to swing down on a rope and kick giant heads off with blades at the bottom of his boots. It was awesome.

Dang. Attack on Giants, like the anime. Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. When you go to Mickey D's and they give you an extra order of fries that you didn't pay for, that's many. Sharing theirs.

Daniel UAK, multiple of the many faced magician, one of those faces eats dogs. Shame on you, Daniel. You're disgusting. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm. Jordan's beats can actually revive dead adventurers as their hearts begin pumping to the beat. They do die at the end of the song, though.

But don't we all? Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fiora, born of the sword, and master of the French horn. Jeff will bring you to tears with that thing. I love brass instruments. Cutter W, a high-elf, dandy-turned-crick, of the French horn. Jeff will bring you to tears with that thing. I love brass instruments. Cutter W, a high-elf, dandy-turned-cric, bark-attack. Cutter bots on property in the summer court

on the cheap because it's currently frozen over. But is really hoping the boobs help turn around their investment. That's why we're fighting. Let's get a gay, the escape artist literally has never paid at a restaurant. Wow, I mean, dad. John S. literally has never paid at a restaurant. Wow, I'm in dash. John S. A.K. a shubber at the mushroom.

Shubber is actually a carnivore, which in the vegetable world is kind of like being a vegan. Congrats on not eating other vegetables, Shubber. Ryan Am, hard ones Ram, who survived the cold wilderness of Frostwin, only to get captured and sold into the Frostwin circus. Well, I am now wears a sequin jacket? No. It does tricks for a con of peanut butter. I will rescue you, my friend. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha There might be some to that. Andrew Omega, a Beverly's personal trainer, recently tried to plump that famously flat rump with a shot of arcane to the ass.

He was briefly effective, but almost immediately collapsed with the sound of a deflating air mattress. And shat feathers. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Man in, rumored to make a better margarita, and even Savannah's beloved jalapenos, Victor T, the boundores boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world,

currently dining silently with his mother who is so destroyed by boundores absence, she burned it in a tapel spitz again. Topel spitz, Murf, topel spitz. I don't know what that is, I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is, I don't know what that is. God, can we make that for dinner one time? Yummy, yummy.

It's like a meat and veg, yummy. It's like a meat-in-veg, though. It's mostly cabbage. Henry A, the essence from which all of Trinaville emanates. A veritable bag of holding of knowledge from which Caldwell's Cheeto-Dusted Fingers greedily grabbed. Justin I lives in a houseboat that was docked next to the SS Stormborn at Frostwin

when hard one was blasting pursuit of happiness, and Justin I didn't call in a noise complaint. He was the real hero of the night. Yeah, dude, thanks for letting us play some cutie. Hahaha. Clayton M, acclaimation delmation. Clayton used to be acclaimation him a lion, but got bored of being a cat,

so it kind of just rolled around until they became a dog. The professional, the only lawyer to successfully beat Papa on litigations, and setting aside their legal differences to take that a cru-up mob boss for Akun, the professional has had to go double-age and pretending to be working both the mob boss and Papa, the only question now. Which one are they lying? Directed by Martin Scorsese. Trust no one. Jacob C. the Feywild's premiere home security puzzle technician. Jacob's going through a minimalist phase and the last few houses have asked for a refund due to the fact that the puzzle is that there is no puzzle.

Does not keep intruders out. Alana Amigree and Tina the Summer Court was frozen whilst getting their cooking badge so honestly, not the worst fate, getting frozen in the middle of the best moment of their life. Gone off has gone loft! Recently, buying a very elegant converted warehouse, it gone off loves to entertain in their new space. The worst one we've ever done. Mick Pock's a lot of time on that. Mick Pock's the amazing code master who programmed our website.

Also programmed hard wand with the ability to feel which was arguably cruel. Erlin Kathleen L. A pair of Fey royalty who are faking a surreal, a lesser-born-style divorce to get their names in the tabloids. Names in the trades. Dylan Am a talented executioner who kills people with a broad sword clenched firmly between their Bucks cheeks. Bucks cheeks. They can also drive a car with the wheel clenched between their butt cheeks, but it's pretty off-putting

and no one wants to carpool with them anymore. Except for job, jeez, a level 20 adventure who multi-classed at every level. They also had to home brew a bunch of classes toward the end, so talk to them if you want to play a shaman or a street magician. Corbin A, the grizzly Duke, used to party with the bear prints, but saw the writing on the wall and pieced

before the reckoning. Smart man, Atlas Storm Reaper, a storm mage who actually spends their life suppressing terrible storms. Every nice day you enjoy, you better fall to your knees and thank Atlas Storm Reaper for blessing your unworthy behind. Justridge and ostrich with a job, but when it comes to love, they're at a loss. Guess you can't have it all, Joss.

Nice. CLDreg, aka the Dregor knot. A honey pirate who's been put out of business by the efficiency organization and blind devotion of the honey goblin's car. Camera, get down. Camera and C, the new leader of the trolls, Cameron killed all of their siblings,

but it was worth it. For now, they sit upon the throne. Oh, wait, Cameron was just murdered by sit upon the throne. Oh, wait, Cameron was just murdered by a long-lost cousin. Oh, well, you had a good run, Cam. Long live Cam. Charo Arquadius, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. Charo's party has been kicked out of every bar they've ever been to, because their tail keeps giving the bartender wedgies when no one is looking. Damn you, ah, ram. Ram Daniel's evil twin.

Daniel spends their days shaving humans and making disgusting sweaters out of their flesh. It's much less fashionable, but it really makes a statement. Nicholas R. the junior designer at Renée's in Esri, currently hoping to impress their boss with a new threese-leaved garment known as a Troublet. Jennifer V. currently on a date with Shea, Bag and Moonstone and things are going really well.

Oh, no. Shay just asked if Jennifer wanted to come back to the temple with some kombucha. What the fuck? I hate this. Moonstone, what could have been? Oh, this is not canon. Destiny C invented the Crick equivalent of toothpaste. It's a giant slug that you squeeze goo out of. Doesn't clean your teeth very well, but it does scream as you squeeze it, and it gets

you very drunk. Devin Bee, Beardman Danes, Fierce's rival, Devin has no beard, but an insanely beautiful repunzel-length rat tail that they used to whip their foes to death. Now that's hot. Michael L. runs a spectral petting zoo. We're all of Beverly's summoned steeds chill out and tell their need it again. Wouldn't hold your breath, big buck.

Sam H, a Feywild gnome who runs a mini golf course, whoever, since all golf in the Feywild, this mini golf Sam's course is actually just a very tiny regular golf course. It's adorable. Cute. KELVEN NUDELS, a pasta elemental. Once a day, they can use their legendary Bucatini blast and cause massive Ropi spaghetti

to entangle all their foes. Sergio Sal is our Solomon Sakurai as D Sak-sakuni. Seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio is so sexy that just looking at him is considered a sin in the eyes of theala. Many a chosen have been flagged after gazing at Sergio's perfect forked snake's abs. Trey-lay, the great bay who goes,

naaaaaay! That's right, Trey-lay is a talking horse and always was. There's also an accountant, but that's less important. Grace H, the graceful Ace, Grace is a face-sprite who rides a hummingbird masterfully through the skies. It looks really cool, but since Sprites already have wings, it's kind of frowned upon more like the tasteless grace if you ask me.

Oh, Erin G, master of the banishment spell. Despite the limitless potential of this spell, Aaron mostly uses it to clean out septic tains for their dad's plumbing business. Hey, it's a living. Eric B, the world's sexiest honey goblin. Let's just say, honey isn't the only thing they can get. Oh, la, Jory S. The only extroverted winter eladrin.

Jory has done bar trivia alone more times than they can count. Oh, lad, Jory asked. The only extroverted winter eladrin. Jory has done bar trivia alone more times than they can count. Oh, tragic. Alucard. Unless you win, then that fucking off. Yeah, the little card, a reverse Dracula who hates blood, only comes out during the day and can turn into a sugar glider at will, which is pretty cute.

Baby doc, an incredibly skilled nine-month-old surgeon, currently starring in a stage play about the trials and tribulations of a group of upstart infant doctors called squabbs. They're an actor, too? Adam H. Balnor's evil twin who doesn't have a mustache and who hates tuna fish. They're an egg salad stand though, through and through.

Oh, Kyle McQ, a cool ferret that rides a tiny moped. Oh, what? I'll leave the paywall for the right ones. Colin G, Ulfgar's anger management counselor, Todd Ulfgar had a control his rage by taking all of it out on Colin and then never speaking about his feelings ever again. Lock it up.

Ryan, hard ones Ram, found a hot spring deep in the tundra of Frostwin and has been chilling there ever since. It's too cold to leave the spring, so now Ryan's stuck waiting for someone to bring them a towel. They're coming. Big Buck wields a bright orange blunderbuss and always have perfect sights on their enemies. Very cool. Richard F. and evil leprechaun grew suddenly murdered by an angry troll, immediately reincarnated

as a free fairy who was immediately murdered by the same troll. Taylor S. aka Trast, a barbeque who is resistant to all damage, but that from a self-inflicting wound, that's right Trast struggles with insecurity and doubt, but they shouldn't Trast is awesome. That's right Trast, John W.G. The philanthropic rogue who uses their sneak attack to make sure their barista never sees them give a tip. John doesn't do it for the recognition. Choi Mixi uses the bodies of their dead foes as a shield and as a table and as a door

stop. Choi just doesn't have a lot of stuff and they're really resourceful. Cannibalistic Cthulhu started 2019 on a plant-based diet is very into beyond human beef these days. It is gamy as hell just like real people. Sam L. a goat man who is a sexual and not really into the whole blood, horniness thing. Sam prefers the simpler pleasure in life like a good book or a complex wine. Who doesn't? Jim Jam Flimflam, a one man traveling band who loves to read wine.

Man, that's right. The free fairies love this guy. Dumb R, Maddie Biggred's childhood dog, whose ferocious loyalty is absolutely who Maddie was channeling when he had his famous crit. Matt H, the newly installed troll king, currently being attacked by someone else, came to blame me to be the troll king. Now wait, they're being attacked. Josh S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the Colbald.

Cyborg Josh's butt is a bit smaller, but it's titanium and it's just as strong. Blissbrig Demetri, the King who King! The first King who'd have break Reva's heart, but not the last. Caleb Storm, the love child of court himself. Caleb wants nothing more than to make their father proud and aspires to one day become a giant goblet of meat. Andrew A. High-level priest who annulled Beverly the fourth's marriage,

but don't tell young Beverly. James G. A centaur who has the head of a horse but the body of a man, but the human body does have a horse dick. Good. It's good that that happened. Now, Nicholas C has started in every single movie ever made in Bohumia. Currently filming a rom-com about a large bearded man who falls in love with a brilliant, awoken to possum. Matt Elle has one giant bicep and one regular sized bicep, but they're so good with their sword that they wield the blade with their weaker arm and only use a strong one to flip people off.

Targot, owner and proprietor of Bohumia's beloved general store, Targot. Check out their new Marina Wool line made entirely from rams who volunteer there for and aren't killed by anyone. Like Ryan, Mike H, the lord of the high tower of Old Town in Westeros, finds Bohumia quaint by comparison. Kevin S, the biggest rock in Bahumia not amount not a boulder just a fucking huge rock right? Who wrote that you're fired Jake?

I was on the couch on a you guys are not reading I knew that we'll have a few left Jake's not allowed to read anymore Surprise Ranger! A rogue ranger who surprises their foes with anger. Now that's danger! Triple! Most abs in Bahubia! Triple has a 48 pack of abs. Sick!

Garrett M. rides two dragons like water skis, but instead of skiing on water, they ski on fire. And it's just so fucking badass. I'm sorry, Jake. you wanna take us out? Yeah, let's go out with just honoring Kevin S. The biggest rock in the home, yeah. Thanks for listening to this show, everybody. Thank you, Kevin S. Good night.

Thank you to all of our patrons. Everybody at our council of elders, everybody for listening to the show. Head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod to listen to the short rest, and we'll catch you guys next week. It's a freaking huge rock. So big.

That was a hit gun podcast.