Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 52: Crushed by an Angel (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

The Band of Boobs investigate Old Court and search for the missing Queen Cirilla. Hardwon has it out with some birds, Moonshine makes the most of her Crick lasso skills, and Bev goes on an ol' fashioned dad hunt. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Dreamy Ambience" by Klankbeeld at Freesound.org."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."Rolling Deep" by Emily Axford."Sea Beast" by Emily Axford."Beverly's House" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

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Moonshan Sibon. Crick Gone, K-O-Tick. Ooh, that's right. Mama's got a brand new bolt. Spicy. And Carl Doltaner. Beverly Togo, the fifth, bound to Balnor. Wow.

It's crying. Balnor's only son. Wait, Balnor should get it. I feel like in honor of last episode, Balnor should Wow. It's crying. Balnor's only son. Wait, Balnor should get it. I feel like an honor of last episode, Balnor should get an intro. And Brian Murphy. Balnor the brave keeper of the bags. We love you, Balnor.

We love you. RIP Bobby, RIP Halfling Village. Oh, mercy. But now I feel bad that I made out with him and like he had like, I feel like I need to apologize. No, that was a lot of us. He said totally a lot. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. But you know a lot of fucking locked lips. Bounder's a lot to have. Bounder's a lot to have happiness in his life. He's a lot to move on. Okay. Yeah, you're right. That's beautiful.

It hasn't even happened yet. That's true. He hasn't met his wife. Yeah, this is your like his high school girlfriend. Don't cry because it hasn't happened yet. Smile because it might happen. It's true. He hasn't met his wife. Yeah, this is your life. His high school girlfriend. Don't cry because it hasn't happened yet. Smile because it might happen. It's confused. Smile because you have a chance to prevent it from happening. And the monsters took over the world and halflings had to hide.

And Balnor was a war. So it has to be a really long t-shirt. Yeah. It's not all going to fit on a pillow. OK, guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys met Alonus, the legendary elf wizard and arcane scientist. She was hiding out on a secluded island pretending to be a seahead but was actually pulling the strings on your adventure all along she revealed to you that she had used wish spells to go

back in time to undo the damage that Thiola and Il said had wrought on the realm. After several failed, heavy-handed attempts at saving the world, she opted for a more subtle approach. On the last attempt, she sent Boundor back to help you on your quest. You found out that Boundor was from an alternate timeline, and had a family and a secret half-ling village that had escaped the conflict in the Feywild, but after Boundor's village was destroyed and his family was killed, he agreed to help Alonus to go back and change the course of history.

She sealed him in the night card of the deck of many things and went back in time to make sure it ended up in your hands. Alonus finished telling her story, you guys all went to bed, you supported Balnor, including casting silence on him so that he could sob himself to sleep. I actually don't have that spell as a druid, but I just said it as a joke. Ooh. Wow. Guys, sound off in the comments.

I had it as a cleric though. Yeah. Bernhildi's season. Nice. Different character from a different campaign. It's so cool. I'm sure that Alonus has like a free to use silent spell. I think a goof silent spell is fine to use.

Absolutely. Thank you so much. Then you guys checked out Alonus' arcane laboratory. She gave you some goodies and finally destroyed your cursed items. While you waited to hear from Bev's dad who was supposed to take Queen Sarilla to the autumn court to hide from the unceilig attack. However, you got a desperate message from Bev's dad at the last second saying that the chosen had come in through the portal and later on and were attacking, forcing Bev's dad

to hide in the old court under the city instead of fully escaping. Alonus teleported you to the summer court to find him, where you owned some chosen soldiers. Alonus then plane shifted away to the material plane to cause problems for theala and prevent more chosen from arriving, and you began your descent down to the old courts to find Bev's dad and Queen Cerilla,

who according to the guards you fought, are currently being chased by chosen angels. Let's get a touchy. And that's where we are now. So you guys have just defeated a bunch of these chosen foot soldiers who are battling a ladren at the base of the summer court castle. Are they as tough as the angels?

They're a little tougher than angels. The little guys are much stronger than the angels. All right, so we're just gonna cleave through some angels. Yeah, the angels have two HP. I'm desperate. They're two HP. I'm desperate. They're native feathers. I'm desperate to use earthbind on an angel. Ooh, earth angel.

Ooh, I can do it, I can do it, earth angel. Have a sweet loaf, fair with it. And then just crunch it into the ground. So you guys are at the base of the summer court castle and you begin descending the stairs to the old court. It's this marble staircase that winds and winds as you descend through the earth. One thing that's strange, however, is that you don't hear any other foot soldiers, any other guards running up or down here.

You would think that with all these chosen soldiers trying to race down the stairs, there would be some ahead of you, but that doesn't appear to be the case you guys don't really hear anything How are you guys proceeding? I'm going first and I'm sneaking y'all want pass without trace? Are we saving that for later? Let's go ahead. I would say bring it in y'all's time to pass without trace no shame No shame in passing without trace Yeah, I just want to just go in there and just kill all these motherfuckers I'm not. We're gonna build to that, Ballon.

I'm a mad dad. I'm gonna pour a little pass without trace on a rag and put it under his nose. I feel stealthy. Yeah. But keep a little bit of the anger, Ballon. Yeah. Okay, I'll just get pumped up. Yeah.

I'm gonna do some squats. Nice. Absolutely. Oh, yeah, look at you. We do a perception check, maybe? Yeah, sure. just get pumped up. Yeah. I'm gonna do some squats. Nice, absolutely. Oh, yeah, look at you. We do a perception check, maybe? Yeah, sure. Something we never do. Okay, I got it.

What do I perceive with an eight? Wait. What do I perceive? Well, actually answer his first and then I'll ask. With an eight. You know exactly what I described, which is that you're going down the stairs of a marble staircase,

and that it's strange that you don't really hear anything. How's the marble? I report that back verbatim. Thank you so much, Harwanda, I'm glad to name you. Would you like to proceed with a 23? With a 23? And me.

There is. There's nobody down the stairs. There's my chances. There's nobody. You don't hear anything down there. Do I feel, do I sense like that it's for a magical reason, or do I sense that? You would need to proceed and kind of sneak along.

All right. All right, let's do that. I'm doing that. I'm doing that. Yeah, pass that trace. And I'm keeping my senses out for any sort of magical aura or stink that might be causing this silence. I got a nine on my perception check.

What sort of marble are we working with here? Ooh, it's like white. It's like a white marble. Okay. With the black specks in it, it kind of looks like it might be dirty at first. So it's not polished, it's a little, yeah. Okay.

It's a little rough, but like intensely. Can he sense what query it came from? Yeah, it's just an autumn query. Spring query. Do you know a marble fact that you would like to say that what we're getting at? I don't know shit about marble. If you know something about rocks,

you may make it, you may make it canas. Marbles just pretentious rocks. That's very true. Hard one gets that tattooed. Marbles just stuck up rocks. Okay, so you guys have passed without trace. Okay. Finally, you round the corner on this spiral staircase

and you see that the stairs lead to a tiny room. This does not appear to be old court. The stairs bring you down to a smooth, shiny, marble platform that stands in front of an altar. You see memorial candles surrounding a framed painting of the last summer queen. Queen Islin, the son mother. She's this summer alladron queen, light orange skin, a beautiful red cloak with yellow trimming over a yellow gold dress. Her hair is a mix of red and yellow, and at like the ends of her hair it looks like the

lick of a flame. Oh, wow. How do we feel about this? Yeah? Yeah, I think we swat this right? Okay, yeah. Yeah, I could roll this up in fat to it in my jacket. Yeah, exactly. I was thinking the same thing.

Can I do a perception check on the painting? Are you walking up? So right now you guys are on the stairs. There's a platform and an altar So it's a tiny room with a painting basically exactly. Okay, um, are there is the floor checkered? No, it appears it has a different pattern. It's like whereas the marble of the stairs has like black and white in it This platform is just smooth and white. Did you say that it's a small room? Can I just jump to the altar? You wanna like jump and hang on to

where the memorial candles are and shit? Yeah, go ahead and make an athletics check. It'll be pretty easy. Just don't fail big time, I guess. I'll say DC five. She did roll a four. I didn't roll four, but. She did roll a four. I didn't roll four, but I had a seven, so 11.

Wait, okay, so you jump across the floor. Yeah, so deaf. There's this little platform on this little altar above it with fucking memorial candles. I have more in eye view. I can't. Which I just jumps over the platform, carelessly knocks over all these memorial cables

for this fucking dead queen. And you're just hanging on over this altar. You're right next to the painting. Why did you do that? Those are sacred. Yeah, that's... You're just pissing on a grave right now. I wanna do investigate it,

but I felt like this whole platform might be rigged with some sort of booby trap. That's fair. While I'm hanging here, why don't I just go ahead and cast find traps on this room. You could have done that at any point. Yeah, but I wanted to get a little calstenics in. You're a human cat. A whole ply of metrics.

You're an open cat. What is going on? Can you read me what fine traps does? You sense the presence of any trap within range, that's 120 feet, that is within line of sight. A trap for the purpose of the spell includes anything that would inflict a sudden or unexpected, actually I like expected.

Unaspective effect, you consider harmful or undesirable, which was specifically intended as such by its creator. Thus, the spell would sense if an area affected by the alarm spell, the forwarding, or a mechanical pit trap, but it would not reveal a natural weakness in the floor, an unstable ceiling, or a hidden sinkhole. Would not reveal an unstable floor. Okay, here's what I'll say. It is somewhere in between all of those things. So when you jump over to this altar, here's what I'll say. It is somewhere in between all of those things.

So when you jump over to this altar, here's what I'll say. You jump over to this altar, you knock a bunch of candles off, you see one of the candles falls off, hits the platform, and disappears. Oh, I picked my head through the floor. You touched the floor.

You might play in shift or something. It might be a portal. Oh shit. But we might all want to go down this portal. I guess it's the stupidest thing for me to tell you guys to hold my legs as I dip my head below. Hey, before you do that, I take my pressed penny of the Ocarat coin, and I put it in my main channel.

Which is now something else, right? It's a farewellcarat coin. And I put it in my main channel. Which is now something else, right? It's a Feywild commemorative coin. Okay. And I use my Mage Hand to stick it through the floor and see what happens. Use your Mage Hand to put it on the floor. Ooh, good use of Mage Hand, I like that. The Mage Hand to Spells and the coin is gone.

My coin! Oh no! That was horrible. How are we ever gonna remember the Feywild? Mage hand to spells and the coin is gone my coin. Oh, no You guys see a chosen foot soldier suddenly appears there Surprised so let's roll initiative. You see this guy just shows up and he goes whoa what who are you? About it 13 15 He got a 16 Let's see what Valnor got What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that?

What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that?

What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that?

What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What's the name of that? What do that. Okay, so let's create, maybe use a nature's wrath or I could do entangle and as soon as they come up, they get caught and then question them. I could also just make a rope net, I guess. We don't have to use advanced spells. Yeah, you're right.

Can we take a little time and make a little rope net so we can catch us a chosen? That's Scooby Doo style net. We can just like get a lasso ready. Oh, we can just put it head in a bag. We can also just grab them or grab them when they come up. I just like really want to like scoop them up like a butterfly. Yeah, that's funny.

You're gonna try to make a net. When you guys start fashioning the net, I'll stand here with my hammer ready to knock them on the noggin. Yeah. Beverly quickly knots up a quick net. Okay. Yeah. I hammer ready to knock him on the noggin. Yeah. Beverly, quickly, knots up a quick net. Okay. I'm ready to knock him on the noggin if he comes through. All right, so this is a good plan.

Maybe do we have any more junk that we can throw down this floor? Yeah, I'll throw down. So just to be clear, you're not seeing it fall through the floor. You put these things on the floor and they disappear. Yeah. This guy appeared, he was on the platform, he hopped up, hit the ground again and disappeared again. Oh, so it's not it's not like a little portal like I've been thinking it's the floor is lava

But I don't think it makes you like you don't go through it into another dimension. No, like teleports you somewhere else. We have no idea. It's a Report key or something. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, right. Hmm. So I'm gonna take my washboard my beloved washboard and throw it at the ground. No, you used that every episode. It's gone? Yeah. He doesn't come up? No. Hmm. Okay, it seems like maybe we're throwing stuff somewhere else and that person got curious

about all the chill. How much chill touch the ground? Okay. You want a chill touch the ground? Yeah, chill touch the ground. Nothing happens. Dispelt. It just dispels. Yeah.

Is has anything been going on with the painting while this is happening? No. OK. Except for me continuing to hang off of it. But this is the queen who is apparently buried under the city. Right. OK.

So are you guys preparing any traps or anything? You guys said you were preparing traps. Yeah, I've got all my climbing equipment ropes, red like, like, like, little lassoes and my hammers ready to strike a good on the noggin. Yeah, we've all made like, I made a lasso out of my rope.

Oh, with that cow vest. Yeah. That cow vest, you look good. Yeah, no. Okay. So suddenly you see four chosen foot soldiers and three angels. God damn it. Okay.

Up here in the teleporter and the one guy goes, this is the one I told you about. I'm a wheel. I'll say you guys, these guys were also prepared to fight, but you guys have ropes out. Let's do one person just rolls a, let's say the nature or survival check to make like a rope trap. and I'll have these guys roll.

Anybody who fails their dexterity check will lose out on their first round. You'll get a surprise round on them. So who wants to roll for the trap? For making the trap or for like using the trap? Whoever made the trap. Your nature stuff's strongest, right? My survival's decent. Okay, so moonshine will say that you were kind of leading the way on making the trap. I got a net one

Okay, you're you're distracted by the loss of your washboard. We'll just say these angels fully burst through the ropes Like you guys did not expect all of these guys to come through they jump out from this little platform Join you guys in the hall everybody roll initiative cool, all right 14 19 16 should we just jump through? join you guys in the hall. Everybody roll initiative. Cool. All right. 14. 19. 16. Should we just jump through the platform now and bounce? That's the kind of thing.

I like that idea. Yeah. I kind of like that idea. At least one of us should since we're having the initiative. Because our reason for holding back was like, we want to find out what's going on down there. At this point, at this rate, we'll just have to fight them. So we might as well meet them down there where we can find out what's going on down there. At this point, at this rate, we'll just have to fight him. So we might as well meet them down there

where we can find out what's happening. Yep, sweet. Hard one, you go first. Three angels for loser dudes. At first, first I say, throw down your weapons and tell us where you came from. Go to heck. I jump on the platform.

Ah! You jump on the platform. You jump through this fury of like angels and guards who are instantly trapped in this narrow hallway in the little closet. Oh yeah, dude. I do like a tuck and roll, or a pork roll, or a fucking misty flip. Mark, wait, you gotta do the hard one, split. Oh shit, I was like, that's exactly.

I just want to completely split over an angel. This is a literal split. Hard one, are you still split, too split? That's dope, dude. Split, to split, to split. Are you still wearing your tight pants? Yes, I am. Uh oh.

Should I roll this if the pants split? Please do. If the pants split, while the split, to split. Yes, all right. What do I add to that? It doesn't matter. I got a two. Shout out to the two crew. And it's basically.

Oh my god, the pants split. And the dude didn't do the splitting. Moonshot, I'm gonna need your help. So with these pants. OK, show a hard one. I got some muddle dude. I'm real mad. I have actual thread.

Don't listen to her. That sounds good. Fix it with the brown. Hard one. You tuck and roll onto the platform. And instantly, you are transported to the old courts. Moon shining bat you see hard one disappears. Hard one you're now on another platform in a little gazebo in the middle of a beautiful garden. You

see white, red, yellow, purple flowers, a beautiful rainbow of colors. Some of them are strange sizes and shapes that you've never seen before on the material plane. You know this city to be underground. The city was buried with the queen, but it feels like a summer day in here and you see sunlight. You look around and see that you are underground. You're in a big hollowed out cave like a dwarf city would be. But behind the cracks of the cave walls, you see sunlight pouring in.

You know the sun isn't up, so this clearly isn't the actual sun But perhaps the sunlight that was buried with the queen When she died according to the legends Gradient The city does not look to have any living inhabitants It's this beautiful city of marble and other smooth stones But with a ton of plant overgrowth because it has been abandoned It's got this feeling of a hidden grove in the forest.

You're in the town square with gardens around you, but you do see homes and other buildings in all directions to the south. You see there's a more residential district and to the north look to be more militaristic buildings and eventually a castle, this fairy tale castle with spires and a drawbridge and a trickling moat around it. This is beautiful. This is where I want to retire.

You also see flying overhead are a bunch of these angels. They're flying around like birds hunting for rodents. And as soon as you pop up, you see that there are like three more chosen soldiers and they go, how do you get through? How do you get through? And they start on their turn, they'll act and go get the angel. It's super easy, it's an elevator. That is Bev's turn.

Okay, can I attack and then also position myself to get through the platform as well? Or if you don't do the platform, you will take an opportunity attack. You need to just commit to going through the platform if you're doing that. All right, can I like, nimbly try to get to the platform? Yes, okay, I'll just do that okay, so yeah, just disengage like a greased watermelon. I disengage

Oh, you don't need to roll anything okay cool you just on your turn you Up here next to hard one guards are freaking out angels are everywhere angels are behind you. Oh more angels moonshine stern I am going to just bound or have a gun now Bound or does have a gun. Yeah, interesting You know, I'm too far away to do this move. So I'm just gonna jump. I'm gonna jump and disengage You disengage and I say bound or you got the plan. What we're all do moonshine disappears. Munchine, as you took through, you see the angels and the guards descending on Valnor.

But meanwhile, the rest of you guys have all appeared in Old Court on this platform under a gazebo. You wait a few seconds. Valnor does not show up. Damn it. And these guards, these footmen that saw a hard one when he first showed up, it's their turn. They are going to disengage. You see one runs towards the castle, and the other two rush out and start shouting to nearby angels to help.

Okay. I'm going to roll the D4 to see how many angels find out. Four here. So four more angels swoop in. So Balnor did not get the memo. On the guards turn. That is Balnor's turn. You do not know what. So Balnor did not get the memo. On the guard's turn, that is Balnor's turn, he did not know what happens to Balnor. Oh, back around the hard one.

Oh no. He should be able to take a full disengage though. But it's not, unless three angels and four guards got to go before him. Oh gosh, was he, what was he in the order? Was he low? You guys don't know. Oh, we don't know.

He's not here, that means something happened. Do we see like a platform as's there a way to get back? Yeah, you can hop up and go back certainly. Oh, that's hard one's turn, yeah. I'll hop on the platform and go back. Okay, we'll hold the fort here. Hard one, you go back. You see that Balnor has been attacked by three angels

and four guards in one turn is being held down and getting the shit kicked out of him. Okay. Hard one, toss something through the portal if you need help. Just go on without me. I'm gonna, I guess try it. Can I try it?

You see one of the angels is just like, give up. You're, you fools, you're done. Oh. What are these? These are actual angels. What do they have to do with fucking theology? They have, they're wearing like the- They have, they're wearing like the-

Yes, they have like silver armor on. They've got the symbol of the chosen, the golden sword. I thought angels were supposed to be good. We are good. We are good. We uphold the light. He's back. I'm gonna grab his foot and try to stuff him in the bag or something.

Bound or you're gonna try to just like grab Bound or and bring him back? Yeah, can I just try to- You can just add an action. So you're like a tug of war, try to grab Bound or? Yes, I'll let you do an athletics check against an angel to try to grab Balnor and pull him through the portal. Okay. Okay. Yep.

I got 17 plus 3, 20. I got 17 plus 8, 25. Nice. You successfully grab Balnor, you pull him back through the portal. Nice. Balnor is looking pretty fucked up. He took a lot of damage. A lot of it. A lot of it.

But you guys appear in old court, angel swarming, guard swarming, people screaming this city that was very quiet when you showed up. People just kind of like looking around is now on high alerts. OK, I just want to say that I used the tear in my pants to show the angel my full asshole as I was leaving Bad that is your turn. Okay, it looks like we did not successfully pass without trace. So here we are Should we run away?

Should we do the brave thing and I take cover? Well, I was gonna cast ice storm, which would hopefully hopefully make it harder for them to get to us. Oh, sweet. How many are coming for us? You've got three angels and four guards that are just on the other side of the platform that beat the shit out of Ballnor last turn. And then you've got four that are swooping down after the guard's alert. So a host, a chorus, a lot of angels. Yeah, I think we should run.

All right, I opened the bag for Balnor. Balnor has already hopped in the bag. I'll assume you scooped him up when you're stable. Balnor is stable, Balnor's got like 15 HP. Bev, that's your turn. All right, so I guess four angels swooping down, two guards that are making a big fuss, yelling around. A big tomb in front of us. It's not even a tomb. You're just in a city now.

It's just a full-on city. Yeah. Okay, then let's try and lose them in the city. Yeah, just find like an abandoned cheese shop and run into it or something. Okay, absolutely. You're gonna take a full, seven-to-one. You want to take like a full dash action and then try to like hide in a house or just like run somewhere. I put on my Yippee Skippy boots, I click my little heels and I bolt off and say, let's go, let's beat it, let's cheese it, cheese it to the cheese shop. Bev, go ahead and make a,

let me do a stealth check. Yeah, do a stealth check, do like a hide check. Shout out to the two crew. So fucking brutal. Oh boy, a pass without choice, you got a 12. Yeah, moonshine that is your turn. Okay, can I do an inside check to see The two crew. So fucking brutal. Oh boy. A pass without trace. You got a 12. Yeah. Moonshine, that is your turn.

Okay. Can I do an inside check to see if fog cloud would work on these? Oh. I mean, it would certainly make it hard for them to see. Sweet. Then I cast fog cloud and I run to meet with Bev. And then I, actually as I'm doing it, I throw hard one a rope so that he isn't hindered by the fog. Oh, good idea.

Okay, to kind of lead you through. So, yeah, so I essentially cast fog, I throw hard one a rope, cast fog cloud and run towards where Bev was. Sweet. I'll say with the fog cloud, I'll give you a choice. You can either have the angels roll with disadvantage to try to find you guys, or you can roll a new stealth roll to replace Bebs. Oh, I'll definitely roll a new stealth roll

to replace Bebs. Okay, that'd be good. 31. Well, yeah. Yes, fucking price. I'll just roll to see. I'm gone. It is the angels turn.

I'll see if they manage to... What did you do to me? Rolling at 20. Jesus. Highest they got was a 14, they do not. So, Bev runs off. Bev runs off, initially tries to hide in like a garden of flowers, but it's too big.

Get's up and... He's like a cabbage-patch kid. Yeah, keeps motoring towards the residential district. Moonshine's turn. Moonshine throws up a fog cloud. Throws it up like 10 feet over where you guys are running. So it kind of obscures the Angel's vision. Moonshine runs over.

Scoops Bev. You guys hide around the corner, around a house. The Angels though, on their turn, four of them are gonna run forward and go after hard one or fly forward rather, who is right at the platform. He is not in the fog. I don't think you guys can run that far and have him in the fog. Okay, they're gonna go at hard one. Bring it on, come on. These these guys swing down you've committed many sins Fuck you Yeah, show them your literal ass. They were these do not curse ample access to that ass right now

Angels are lame. You don't even look like celestial mechanisms. You just look like guys. We can't hear you You're in the fuck we're stealth and oh I was saying that be a rapport sports. I was just a running commentary running commentary. Okay, I do appreciate that. It's like a podcast. They don't have any eyes. They should have lots of eyes and halos and weird stuff. Do they even have halos? Yeah, do their wings have feathers? Yes. Okay. Okay. That's a little. 13 damage. One of them gets 13 damage on one attack. Second one will attack, misses. But do their wings have feathers and talons? No.

They are not birds, they're angels. How much do they have beaks? Ah, this one hits on both attacks. Do they shit little white diarrhea? Do they lay eggs? I'm gonna start giving them advantage on attacks and keep talking shit about my cool angels. Do they look like the guys from Dogma?

Do they have an eye on each side? Yeah, this is really cute. I have a bird at home actually. 22 damage on the first hit. Okay. Do they live with an old woman? Hard one. Watch out for their cloaca.

Oh, man, we're having so many dice up here. Are they afraid of cats? Wait, but I've got that rope though. Wake up. Oh man, we're past so many dice. Are there a freighter cat? I'm dead. Wait, but I've got that rope though. I got a certain point Dona is getting pulled away from them. At the last moment you just get janked in the shaft. I think my 24 damage on the second attack. Oh my God.

My speed is 35. And the rope is like 50 feet. So yeah, it won't feel tension till next turn. Fourth guy hits on his second attack, swings down. 27 damage, three more angels. Show up through the platform. It takes swings at ya. They're also gonna be too.

Now, why wouldn't they? I don't know, I thought I'd get it to fucking run at some point. You got it on your turn Jesus Christ hits once I'll drag you though. We got that rope. Oh Just drag your dead body out 21 damage From that guy second guy goes Mrs. I'm both attacks third guy goes come on miss miss miss hits hits on one attack. I'm down

You're down. Well, I met two HP. So okay I imagine when or forals these no matter what you're down. Yeah, this angel cuts down hard one. Okay That is the guards turn you see on the guards turn they Show up through the portal these four guys these two guys that were running away run back They all surround hard one. And they yell, come out or we're killing your friend! Okay. Am I turning it? You guys decide when they're not, you come out or else they're gonna attack hard one. Um, I've got them on the rope, so I want to tug them back and then throw up a wall of fire.

Yes. I wish I was alive to see this. Okay, here's what I'm going to have you do. Oh boy. Oh boy. I'm going to have you roll initiative against one of these guards and then I'll allow you to do it if you beat this guard. I will roll in front of the table.

These guys have a plus one to Dex. We're gonna do an initiative off. Essentially if you fail, hard one dies. I think we got, I think it's a big play. Is hard one like still gripping the rope? Yeah, the rope is around him. He's around him. It's on his way. I tied it to my foot. I'll say that hard one. I'll say hard one has the rope. The guards have surrounded him. They're super frazzled. They want to catch all of you guys. They don't want to just catch hard one.

The angels have already gone. The guards are the weener guys, but there are at this point, six of them. And they've got their blades pointed at hard one. They're ready to stab down on him if there's any shenanigans of foot. But if you beat them on the jump, they have taken a moment to make a threat. And if you're just like, fuck that, I pull the rope, I'll let you do an initiative off. We'll back you up on this.

Yeah, you should do this. Okay, you ready? Let's do it. All right, I'm rolling in front of a hard one right here. Okay, plus one from the guards. I will roll first. That is a 15. Oh 22 eat it eat it. Funky eat it. You get out. You suck dude. Get out man! Give us! I did it! I did it! Why the hell are you guys doing that? You guys do fuck about what?

What are you doing? That was fucking ridiculous. My palms are sweating. He asked me closest anyone. I know we've had other times where people have been close to dying, but I would have fully killed hard one there. God, you knew. Well, I'd him and I throw up a fucking wall fire. Okay, so a hard one gets yanked into the fog.

Yeah. And is fog cloud awesome? Yes. Is fog cloud concentration? Yes. So you're choosing to do a wall? Oh, you're right, I don't do wall fire because they're both concentration.

Okay, hard one gets yanked Into the fog right quick the guards had like an action prepared to swing down on hard one I will say that those guys are gonna take perception checks They have way worse perception than the angels, but they're gonna get to go all right moonshine go ahead and give me a stealth check as you hide these two It's another 31. She's a super. That's very good. You're very stealthy.

I know. Well, with the plus 10 pass without trace and having advantage. Okay, so these six guards go, they just look around, they're running into the fog, they're confused as fuck. Um, Munchine, you grab hard one and you tuck them away. Um, that's back up to hard ones turn. You guys just hear shouting and yelling and like more angels coming and everything is you guys hide in the fog.

Um, hard one go ahead and give me a desk saving throw. Okay. That's a seven, but I have something called endovitable, which means I get to reroll a saving throw. That's good. Yeah. You also get 17. Nice. Okay, do you just add the plus four? You're throw. That's good. Yeah. Ooh. You also get- This is 17.

No, just, okay. Do you just add the plus four? You're good. You're good, I'll just don't forget. Okay, that is Bev's turn. What do you all think? I'm gonna report sports real quick. Should I try and use a minor illusion

to distract them as to where we are? I think we've achieved the distraction. We're gonna achieve it. I think we should be looking- We should just be plowing on. We should just be plowing on and looking for somewhere that we can hide in the basement or something. I don't know. Yeah. Also, we gotta bring like looking plowing on. We should just be plowing on and looking for somewhere that we can like hide in the basement or something. I don't know.

Yeah. Also, we gotta bring hard ones down right now. Yes, he's totally down. I guess I'll revive him. Okay. Yeah, let me touch hands you. I put my hands like right on the hole. So I'm covering your butt cheek.

So we covering your cleft, you sew it up. I magically sew it up. I Magically sew it up with vines. Oh, dough and then I guess how much do you want like 20? Sure, yeah, I'll take whatever and no touch but I'll say Bal no rolls out of the bag on his turn in a dust second wind Yeah, I think I kind of want to get some more so that we can like, I can cast some heals on everyone, we get back to good. Bev, what are you doing? So you've just used your action to heal hard one.

You guys are in this fog, but you are close. These angels and guards will find you eventually. As a free action, can I just kind of like look around to see if I see anything like an aqueduct or some sort of like- You can make a perception check. There are a ton of houses and stuff. Okay, I'll do a perception. Ooh, that's a 18. You guys are in this very residential district.

There are all these homes with moss overgrowth and abandoned places. You see a place with a window where the glass is missing and stuff. Now let's dive through that window, yeah? Yeah. Cool. All right, we kind of dive through the window still going. So bathed. So bath window, yeah? Yeah. Cool. Alright, we kind of like dive through the window, still thinking.

Still thinking. So bathfully? Bath dives through the window. Okay. Okay, yeah, but I kind of signal to them that, actually I'll dive in the window, make sure it's safe, and then once it's safe, I'll signal to them. Sweet, cool.

Okay. That is moonshine's turn. Okay, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna say, hard one, I'm so sorry, just know that I deeply respect you, and I'll jump in the bag. And then I wanna, I'm gonna say, hard one, I'm so sorry, just know that I deeply respect you and I show them in the bag. And then I wanna, I wanna, Hey, bag buddies, Bounders in there with you.

I blink for a very long time. And then I wanna run as, I wanna run 50 feet away and then misty step into the house where, we're building, so like, I'm running heavy, so I'm leaving marks. Shit. Okay, go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage.

And I'll say this, if you do this, this will just negate the need for stealth rule. 19. 19. Nice. So these guys, these angels on their turn fly towards where you were. They're kind of going in the wrong direction. And the guards on their turn, they start investigating the fog. The fog is there. You guys are all in this little house. Hard one hops out of the bag,

Bound or Gets out of the bag. You guys are in this little, a lager in home. You see there's all this moss overgrowth and flowers and everything. There's like cracks in the tiles of the ceiling where sunlight is shining through and you guys are just hiding in this abandoned building. You hear outside, we need to tell Commander Priston, oh he's gonna yell at us, I don't wanna get yelled at. Oh that guy. Oh that's, guys, take a note, they don't like being yelled at.

Okay, we're very good at yelling. That's great. Not right now though. I think, okay, what are your hit points right now because I feel like I gotta heal you. Yeah, I'm 20 and I'm very embarrassed that I was killed by a bunch of birds. Just straight up birds.

Just straight up. You look like a nice slice of bread. That's why. Ain't into that. I'm gonna go damp. Do you wanna look at my amulet or do you wanna see that? Yeah, I'll look at it.

I'll look at this. Why don't you save the amulet and I'll do cure wounds on you. Yeah, okay, sweet. Great. I'm doing a first level and a third level on hard one for a total of 30. Thank you. And I'm doing a first level and a third level on hard one for a total of 30.

Thank you. And I'm doing a first level on Balnor for 15. Sweet, okay. Balnor is back up to full after the amulet. Nice. All right, looking good, Balnor. Hey, thanks. You bounced back up.

Yeah, you know me and hard one are bag buddies, but I feel like. Bag boats. Yeah, we're bag boats. We're gonna be bags. We're gonna be bags for others. Going forward though. The bag boys. Yeah, we're bag boats. We're gonna be bags for others going forward though. The bag boys, just a couple of dim sums. We should be quiet.

You're just like people searching furiously for you. We should be double and dumb. I was carrying just a little dumpling of strength. Just two dumpling dummies up in there. Just a little fighting dumpling. Is there like a basement in this house that we can hide in? Yeah. Go ahead and do an investigate check.

I got a 19. Ooh, I got an 18. I'd love somewhere to do like a little zealots trans to try and get some spells back, because I... Yeah, do they have like a meditation room? They do not. Or like a nursing room.

It is a... So the Eladron kind of live like Hobbit, so they've got like a nice little Hobbit hole, like it's Ranch style, it's just the one floor. So there might be a cheese room. They're really might be a cheese room. But you look around and I'm gonna make some tea. I'll say, with Bev and moonshine's checks,

I'll say Bev, you catch out of the corner of your eye. A little blue figure is watching you from outside the window. A little blue figure. How big? Like a pixie? It's gone. Moves out of the way. Like it locked eyes with you and moved its head out of the way.

Oh, it's gotta be some kind of like house pixie or something. I walk over to where I saw this figure and kind of whisper, we know you're there. Reveal yourself. Are you being threatening or are you? I say, we know you're there, friend. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Cool. Oh, we got persuasive young Beth. 18. 18. 18. 18. Um, you see a little ghost girl appears. Oh, um, she's this little Aladdin with short hair that looks like leaves, um, bridges and a vest over a long sleeve flowing shirt. She's blue and translucent and as she moves her form waves, uh, halfway between corporeal and a gas. Malora, young and get in here.

Hey there, little friend. She does like wide arms to give you guys a hug. Hey. She goes to hug you and she goes like right through you. I play it off like we successfully hugged. Yeah. I'm like, oh, that feels good. Like Ryan Gosling and Blake Runner.

She give hug in our VR girlfriend. She gives you guys, she gives you guys big thumbs up. I give her a bad peace sign. And you, she gives you guys a little peace sign. Can you understand us? She nods. Okay, but you can't speak. She puts her hand over her mouth.

I see. Is this your house? She shakes her head now. She looks at you, Bev. She points at you. I pointed her. And then she turns into your dad. That's a cool trick.

She knows your dad. And then she turns back into herself. Okay. Do you know where he is? She turns back into your dad. You see a ghostly image of your dad, just like fucking trucking along, carrying Queen Cerilla in his arms, running up to the castle, drops her off, fucking truck it along carrying Queen Serilla in his arms. That's my freaking hat.

Running up to the castle, drops her off, and then you see him running away, and then she makes like a big question mark in the puff. And then she's- But she doesn't run. She's running. Okay. This castle that he dropped the Queen off,

that's somewhere that we've seen down here, right? Yeah, that's the big castle. Yeah, she points north. So we saw him- I point right? Yeah, that's the big castle right there. She points north. So we saw him. I point, I say, did he run like north, he's south way. She shakes her head and she points her fingers around, like he's in the residential area.

Okay, so we somewhere around here. She shakes her head, yes. You see she takes the form of one of these chosen angels. You see, they look like very stern. And you see, they swing their sword through a ghost alladren and break them. And then she turns back in a little ghost girl, and she makes like a little crying sign.

You don't want that to happen to you, do you? She shakes her head. Well, stick with us and it won't. We'll protect you. Yeah, I hate those guys, too. Yeah. They suck. They have just one hole where all their poop and all

their pee comes out. It's really gross. Yeah. Damn birds. You see she laughs hysterically. Like, she doesn't make any sound, but like, she belly laughs. Is there anything we can put her in for safety? Could she possess an object?

You see she just like phases through the wall. Okay, it goes like disappears, comes back. She's pretty easily able to hide. Well then maybe we can use her to like scout ahead for us maybe. You see she. Yeah, got a pretty good style. Oh that's true.

I don't want to put her in harm's way unless we need to. You see she holds her hand up and she motions for you to follow her. Okay. Real quick, can we just do like a quick check of the house, make sure there's nothing that we need here. Supplies wise?

Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, can we like check around? I don't know. Yeah, go ahead and make a perception check. 24. I got less than that. I'll say with the 24, this house isn't of any particular importance or anything,

but with the 24, I'll say a hunter lived here and there's a bow here if you'd like to just grab his bow. Um, yeah, why not? Why not? I'll straighten it over my back. Looks good. That's got a gun now too. Okay, all right, I'm following. You tell me where to go and I'm going. You see she phases through the wall. And then I'm gonna ask her, do you want me to go first or you? She points to her. Okay, all right.

And she phases through the wall on the other side of the house, there's a back door. She starts going. Can I do a quick insight or something to see in that thing? That's a good point. Yeah, you can do that. I mean, she's a little girl,

so I instinctually trust her, but got a 10. No, got a 14. Would my divine sense say anything? She's, she's not evil. Okay, well, that's good. She's not innately evil. Mm-hmm. Cool. I trust the little girl. Okay. Okay. She hasn't, there is like a commotion outside, like the chosen are full on looking for you, and this has all happened within a few seconds. a few seconds. She probably could have alerted them if she was working for them. She could be some other kind of fucking trickster, but at the very least she probably isn't working for them. Right. Let's at least hang with her until we can get out of the house.

Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to go ahead and roll a D6 to just see how many dudes are on the other side of this house. You see she phases through the back door. You see that there are two foot soldiers on the road back here looking around for you guys. These little, the guys that aren't as strong, the angels are flying around overhead.

Do y'all want to like sneak up on them from behind, cover their mouths, bring them in here, and slip their throats, and then try and then stealth up with her, or is that, or should we just try and stealth around? I think if we can just pick them off as we go, that might be a good strategy. Okay, so maybe we, so who wants to go out and do y'all two wanna go out and, uh,

Do you wanna take it down? You wanna do like a hard one Beverly Conned dude? Yeah, okay, you know why don't we just all stilt up and try and get an attack? Also that, yeah. Okay, yeah we'll do that. Okay, um, go ahead and give me, are you guys all going up at the same time? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, um, go ahead and give me stealth rolls. Um, as we're still thing up, I ask the ghost girl.

Hey, can you like put your ghost hands into their brains? Make them fall down. She shakes her head now. That's unfortunate. I got a 30. 26, 29. You guys believe it or not, successfully sneak up to these guards.

Who wants to get their attack first? Munchain was a stealthiest. OK, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to get the roll of the advantagehine was a stealthiest. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. I'll go ahead. You get to roll with advantage because it's a surprise around. Moonshine, like a shadow, comes up behind this guard,

puts a hand over his mouth, go ahead and try to shove Rosalene through his chest. And we're being way too core, I know. It's gonna be 25. Super hits. Yes. 15. And then another six for spores.

He's dead. Yeah. Moonshine goes up behind him, Shubbs Rosaline in his back with his mouth close, gets it up under his ribs, and then silently starts to pull him back. The other guard goes to turn around, who would like to go next?

You guys both succeeded on your stealth rules. Would you get? 29. Oh, you a next. I got to get this. Hard one goes next. Yeah. 21 to hit.

Super hits. You get advantage. Oh, yeah, we're all to see if you could. Let's use the 21. 20 damage. 20 damage. Hard one goes up, and with his hammer, caves this dude's head in. Can I give him?

Can I kill him with my hands? Sure. I sort of want to give him. You want to feel it. I want to give him, can I kill him with my hands? Sure. I sort of wanna give him. You wanna feel it. I wanna give him the mandible claw. Exactly. Oh, Jesus. You get up behind him, you stick your fingers in this throat,

he starts choking and starting to yell. But then you pull his tongue out. Sick. You're just pulling his personal fire alarm. I smile and wave it at the young ghost girl. She gives you a thumbs up. Let's throw these bodies in the house. You guys bring, you guys drag the bodies back in the house.

You guys walk back out. Can we stage this a little thing that killed each other? Yeah, definitely. Let's make it look like they 69 each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how his lower jaw fell off. I am. Too powerful of a load. I wrote a I read a mutual suicide note

Okay, you guys write a suicide note for the two guards Mm-hmm, and you see the ghost girl. Wait, so you guys to follow her and she phases into another house across the street We follow her cool You guys have killed the two guys that were patrolling this area you guys get into this other little cottage have killed the two guys that were patrolling this area. You guys get into this other little cottage. You see that part of the ceiling here is cracked, just like the other house and sunlight is coming in through, allowing a garden to grow on the floor.

Oh, so good. You see the ghost girl. This is actually how it looks in most stumps though. It's pretty standard. The guy that is not on the wall or coming out the toilet says, like they just aren't as fertile as we are. Yeah. She waves through you guys to follow her The fact that it's not on the wall or coming out the toilet says like they just aren't as fertile as we are

She waves through you guys to follow her and she phases through the floor down through the garden How big is the garden? It's like six feet in diameter. So Yeah, I guess maybe I like poke it with my sword sweet. I'm going to make an investigation check our perception check you guys can all make them 18 I give my sword to moonshine so that she can poke it. Moonshine, you find a little latch with like a little door to a basement. Alright, I mean, I trust this girl, right? Yeah, she hasn't let us stray thus far. Maybe we got a weirdo here. Yeah, alright, I'm gonna open it.

You open the door, you go down, there's a little stairwell, all stone stairs, and you enter a bedroom. You see that where the floorboards separate above on the ceiling, there are lines of flowers down here, like where the sunlight can get through. You see there is a child's bed with Elven woodwork and a little mattress, a desk covered in moss, and wooden toys on the ground. They're all dusty, they haven't gotten a lot of use. Mounted on the wall are several toy weapons, swords and daggers, but there is one very real short bow mounted on the wall. It's very elegant. It's got the look of dark finished wood with green vines that wrap around it. And you see that she points to the bow, she points to you guys, she

points up and then she makes a motion like her traveling up in a way. Is that a grappling hook? She shakes her head. Okay, that would have been cool. She tries to do charades for you. So this is my favorite game. She turns it to like a ghost form of the old court. You see it start to sink down using Titanic. She gives thumbs up. Okay. You see a little Aladdin girl watching with a bunch of other Aladdin as the city sinks and you see she and runs forward into the city as it's sinking, runs down in her room to go get the bow, but the city sinks while she's in there. And she goes, she tries

to grab the bow, but she can't because she's a ghost. Her hand keeps going through it and she keeps pointing up. You want to go up there up. She shakes her head, yes. Where you're okay. This is your bow. She points to the bow and she points to you guys. You want us to bring the bow back up. She gives a thumbs up. Give her a sideways thumbs up.

Yeah, I take the bow. Great, great, you take the bow. She smiles and she gives thumbs up. Is there anything else in here? Where, you want to just up there anywhere? You want it in a specific place? She gives thumbs up, just up. Is there anything else in here? Where, you want to just up there anywhere, you want to in a specific place? She gives thumbs up, just up. Do you want us to like, you know, build a garden around it

or something making more of a memorial? She just gives thumbs up. So the movie was Bo Finger. Do you want us to turn it into a memorial bench or am I going to fall? She shakes her head, yes. OK, wow. Is that so hard?

What? Was this your bow? She shakes her head, yes. Is that so hard? Was this your bow? Shakes her head yes. It's beautiful. She smiles. Yeah. Yeah, well, it's gonna be a beautiful bench. She shakes her very excitedly. A beautiful, very small bench.

Okay, so we will bring this up. However, we do have business down here with his father. Try it. She turns into Beverly Senior. Yeah, so we were thinking before we bring this up, we might need to tie up some loose ends around here. I'll tell you what, we're gonna keep it very, very safe. And I hand it to Belnor.

I will put it in the bag. This is a face you can trust. A dad currently looking for a child. He starts, he breaks down, cry. He's a little disheveled right now, but he doesn't take his hands on the bag. He doesn't let his emotions get in the way of the child. She gives Belnor the side eye and then looks at you guys. Is this going to be okay? Yeah, it's going to be okay. We give her somewhere thumbs up. Yeah, I think like all facing in a different direction

Mine is just bad Mine is facing to myself for some reason my facing towards my belly button Suddenly you guys hear the door crash open upstairs Okay, can we all stealth? So we came down, we came down like some sort of stairs to get down here, right? You guys are like under a garden. You guys are in like a hidden basement right now. Yeah.

Is there any other tunnels or exits down here? She shakes her head and okay. She just gives like the quiet sign up here. Maybe we just be real quiet. Let's be quiet. Just be ready to ambush. Yeah, ready to ambush. You ready to ambush you guys here upstairs Barrett, Bridden the dude who made the call

To have like Ulfgar start the purge and go later on when you guys had the face off just this no nonsense guy who became the captain after glad You hear him upstairs go you lost him. Yeah, Goofs And you hear him like smack somebody around your somewhere. They're in one of you goofs and you hear him like smack somebody around your somewhere they're in one of these houses and you hear like somebody choking fuck yeah I don't care I don't care that they're in one of these houses I need to know which house it is no go get me a glass of milk and what a corn cub You hear another guy go, uh, sir, perhaps we should

talk to the unceilian, get one of their hounds in here, and Barrett Brison goes, a hate working with those monsters, you think the chosen can't handle it on their own? I got a bunch of goofballs working for me, but you goofballs! And Barrett Brisonden is actually gonna do

a little perception check, see if he can't find you guys. Hold your breath. Can I kick his dice as he does it? Ha ha ha. Why is he rolling dice? Ha ha ha. You hear him hush the other guys. Suddenly the room upstairs quits.

You hear Barrett Br hear bear prisoners footsteps, creaking, creaking, ever closer to the garden and the trap door under it. And then he stops. Damn it. Not in this one either. And you hear the other guy go, sir, I really think we should bring the sniffers in here. I know you want...

Ew, the sniffers. I say that really loudly, I'm just kidding. I think we need the hounds in here. The goddess will be quite upset if we don't deliver. I know what the goddess will say if we don't find them all right fine Get the damn hounds and you hear them slam the door upstairs All right, let's get the fuck out of here. Okay. Yeah We stink of magic. Yeah, we really do but thank you for having us over

Yeah, this is really nice. We're gonna bring the bow up up there. Bow's going up. It's gonna be great. Give me the advice of subterranean sort of travel around here, the most discreet way to get from house to house. A bunch of trap doors, maybe bookshelves. Tunnels? Look like doorstunnels. You see, she looks thoughtful. She shakes her head, but then she has like a little light bulb moment. She puts her finger up like she just thought of something.

You see she forms the castle in some like ghostly mist. You see a queen walking up going in like a bedroom, stepping on like a little transporter, and then she's in another garden. She's in somewhere else. So there's like another another one. She's in somewhere else. So there's like another, another one of those transport panels somewhere around here. She shakes her head, yes.

Okay. Do you know where that is? She shakes her head, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Will you show us where it is in the relation to here? Makes the castle. Oh, we have to go to the castle.

She shakes her head, yes. Got it. Oh, but the castle underground. She shakes her head, yes. Oh, I see, I see, I see, okay. Okay. Thank you very much. I definitely know she daps you and goes through you Okay, so I was thinking that we could try to cast locate object on something of your dad's Hmm, I guess yeah, he's probably within a thousand feet, right? I would think so.

Oh, you know what? I have the letters that he gave me way back when could we use those to locate him since they've got like his essence on them essentially? I would allow that. I think that's cute as hell. All right, because otherwise you know his sword and stuff but this is more precious.

Yeah, yeah. Do y'all wanna do that? Is that it's my last second level spot? Only if we can do it as a ritual where we sit on the floor and light some candles. Yeah, I think we can do that. Cool, you sit on the floor at this little girl's basement. I got some Yankee candles. I'm going to put a needle in water.

One is Boston cream pie. I sit close to that one. This is favorite. Um, okay. And then, yeah, so take out my forked twig because that's part of the material required. Describe or name an object that that is familiar to you. You sense the direction to the object's location as long as that object is within 1,000 feet of you. If the object is in motion, you know the direction of its motion. The spell can locate a specific object known to you as long as you have seen it up close. Okay. Great. So you try

to sense Beverly senior's essence. Yeah. And you get a ping. He is. Do we know what direction it he is and do we know if he's moving and if so, what direction is he moving in? He is moving slowly, kind of towards you guys. He's about 300 feet away. You can imagine he's kind of like ducking and hiding through the houses. Okay, and we know the direction that he's in, too. Yep, he's a little bit south of you guys, right? Okay, y'all just want to try and rendezvous with him. Yeah, let's sneak over.

Let's lead the way, Munchan. Sweet. All of you guys? Yeah, yeah's sneak over. Let's lead the way, Munchine. Sweet. Um, all of you guys? Yeah, yeah. Yep. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall in the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

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You go to a sneak out onto the road going towards where you know Bebs dad to be, a little bit south of you guys. You look out the window, you do see that flying away from this cottage is Barrett Briston. He is a gosh dang angel. They turned into a bird. You guys keep calling angel many birds around here. They're not birds. They're angels. We got angels down at the creek. They got beaks and what not. These are birds.

Only birds have wings. Just took a huge dump on the castle. You see the ghost girl is laughing hysterically. She's quick, throw out some bread. See if I'll go for it. She's returning to you now. Mine only should have a loaf of bread. I do it.

Yeah, you see these bird people. These goddamn arch angels fly off. They're flying back towards like the gazebo so that they can get back on the transporter. Constan Bird behavior. Yeah, really it's flocking towards a gazebo migrating. The birds are migrating into the gazebo so that they can go get the hound.

They're the before they formation. To find you got to find you guys. Yeah, honking up a storm. Okay, yeah, we're scared of birds and dogs. So what you guys like to do is stealth roll to start heading south towards Bev's dad. Yeah, okay, so as you guys sneak out, so now with locate object, Moonshine,

you don't have pass without trace anymore, correct? Yeah. Okay. So I think that we wanna make sure that Bear Brison, we can watch him get out of there. Once he's gone, then we'll just have to deal with the security guards. Yeah, I think we're just so distracted by the fact that he became a bird

that we watched him for a little while. Okay, so you do see Barrett Brison and the angels fully fly away, fully get to this gazebo and disappear. There are other angels there, he just took a couple dudes with him. Okay, so everybody go ahead and roll me stealth checks. I got another 31.

Okay. I actually got a 21, because I'm still rolling 18s, but I don't have that plus 10. Okay, I got an 18. 18. Uh oh, I got a 10. A 10.

Okay, let me roll to see first off who is around. There are two angels flying nearby. They are going to do perception checks. They do indeed clock Beverly. You see as you guys sneak out of this little cottage, Beverly trips up a little bit, kind of kicks the dirt. You see a puff of dirt come up. One of the angels turns down and goes,

sinner! Me? You! I'm new. You sin all the time. I've never done a sin before in my life, sir! Go ahead and roll initiative. I got a 10.

18. Shout out to the two crew. Moonshan, you are up first. You see these two angels swooping down towards Beverly. They haven't seen you yet. So if you pop out and attack as they pass, you'll get advantage. All right, I guess I will just...

Mm. Is there something to try to like, ensnare them and make it look like they, if we can like knock them out, so it looks like they were just sleeping on the job or something. Ha ha ha. Yeah, I guess I'll just attack one.

Yeah, with your sword. So that we can try to attack them. Okay, you jump out. Go ahead and make an attack with advantage because they haven't seen you yet. I'm assuming that a 25 hits. Super hits. It's gonna be 14 and then another six poison.

Jesus, yeah, solid showing. We knew this, we got the briefing, we knew that there were four of them, why? Why did we not think this would happen? They will continue their turn. They're gonna do a fly by attack on Beverly. Come get it, I'm sticky fly paper. Don't say sticky! It's wrong!

I'm a sticky, sticky bad boy! That's right! 25 damage! Okay! Ooh! Other one takes two attacks, misses on the first, and fucking crits on the second hit. This is gonna be bad. Yeah, they're doing like radian damage.

Like, they're swinging down, and there's these beams of light. We were baptized by theala! Yeah, they're doing like radiant damage like they're swinging down and there's these beams of light We were baptized by Thialla The goddess sorry. I shouldn't call her by her regular name. Don't tell anyone 41 damage on the crit. Whoo. Alright, I'm still up that is I'm going to go ahead and you know what guys Let's go ahead and roll a D20 on a one through a five, three more angels, hear their yells and join. On a six through a 10, two more angels, hear their yells and join. 11 through 15, one angel joins, 16 through 20

bevs dad hears. Somebody go ahead and roll me just pure luck. I got eight. Eight, okay. So two more join. Two more angels are gonna swoop in. You see, two more angels, woo. Four total now, but they will attack on the next turn. They needed to take a full action to get there.

You were using my new AC, right? Yes. Yeah, the one guy crit. Just checking. That's hard one's turn. Okay, I guess I'm gonna throw my javel, right? Yes. Yeah, the one guy crit. Just checking. That's hard one's turn. OK, I guess I'm going to throw my javelin at an angel. Sweet. Also, you can hit two of them.

The two who hit Beverly kind of dipped down. They're able to do fly by attack, which means they don't provoke opportunity attacks. So they literally like flew down 50 feet, then flew up like 30 feet. Cool. Do I get advantage since I'm also hidden? Yes, they don't know you're there.

He he. Right, what did the captain say? There were two, three of them. I see the one guy, Shoe, Shoe, you put your birds. I have 25 to hit. Super hits. I'm also gonna call lightning with this javelin.

Nice, you'll hit the two guys that just attacked the Fav, they're flying together in tandem. We're best friends. Our names are Fred and Ted. Is this one of the ones that I hit before? Yes. I see that your names are Fred and Ted by the sweaters you're wearing,

which are initials on them. Yeah. We're best angel friends. We love God. That's cool. I think you guys are angels, because you look like birds to me. Excuse you, I hate being called birds. Go eat a worm. I'm more likely to go prey. Thanks a lot.

I pray and drink milk and eat crackers. Oh, pray upon worms. Oh, okay. No. 27 damage. Jesus. And you leave those worms alone. You son of a bitch. I don't do anything to worms. You're a bunch of chickens. Big bolt of lightning, you hurt both guys. One of them's a lot more hurt than the other.

Sweet, I'll throw a throwing axe at that other guy. The very hurt guy. The very hurt guy. My name's Fred. Fuck you, Fred. I eat plain hot dogs. And I love God. Dude, I crit.

Oh, no. God loving Fred. Hell yeah. Throw an axe up, hit this angel right in its neck 23 23 damage from an axe You fucking chop this goddamn angels head off from the air. He flops out of the air It's so good. First his body or his head his head

I Punted at one of the other angels. Does the body land in Ted's hands? Yes, Ted is fucking devastated. Ted catches the head. Oh, bury your head. I start flapping the dead wings. I'm a bird.

He's not a bird. He's not a dang bird. I'm trying to make a little ladren ghost laugh. That's Bev's turn. Okay, cool. The ladren ghost is having a great time. All right, we're doing it all for her. Okay, I'm on the ground, they're in the air.

I want to misty step up and just kind of try and so fucking dope. Monkey on the back one of these bad ones. Yeah, yeah, drown out. Now I'll let you do, I'll go ahead, I'll let you misty step up and do two attacks and then I'll let you do an athletics check to try to grab onto it.

That's what I want to do, yeah. Ooh, Divine Smites not going to do anything on the visit. They have resistance to radiant damage, so they'll take half. Oh, well then maybe I'll use, I've got other Smites I can use. Yeah, I cool. I'm going to use my Rathful Smite again, Sweet, which is a psychic damage, which I think these people are, in my head, in my can, in their weak to it, because they're just weak-minded.

I mean, they're all cuckoo, man, they're fucking birds. Yeah. We're not birds. We're angels. Hey, why do you always move your head when you walk? I love playing cheese sandwiches and milk. I dated a bird once. One of my exes is a bird That's 15 damage on the first attack. I'm not talking about re-variate. Yeah, she was sort of my girlfriend Huh, that puts a lot of other things you said in the context

And then two extra psychic damage. You can take a second attack. Yeah Does 21 hit. 21 super hit. Woo. Oh, that's only eight damage. Okay. And then yeah, kind of try and grapple them. Yes, you can try to grapple Ted, we said.

Yes, okay, we'll do. Okay, well, it has been to capitate. Fred is dead, but Ted, we said. Ted, Ted, we said is alive. Ted, we said is not dead. Ted is gonna do an athletics check against you. Ted has okay Just plus three just plus three strength. I think Ted will be surprised by my strength 16. Oh no Just eight Ted pushes you off. Ah

Okay, that's actually good though. I think it's gonna work out. Okay cool. Uh, can I I mean I can't feather fall That's an action. No, you're good. You're you're just falling 30 feet. So you actually will take 3d6 image. That's not a big deal. I'm no stranger to that. Take nine damage Okay, you fall in fire. The damage is like nothing to you. Bound or Bound or doesn't even blink at that He's gonna go ahead and throw javilan's at the angels You're not real angels. What about your gun, Bound or? I do have a gun Yeah, you're shooting skate right now I do have a gun. Yeah, you're shooting skate right now. Really quite a good one.

Literally a pigeon. Literally just loud, loud boom. It's Bound or Mrs. with his gun. That's gonna draw some people. And he does hit on the second attack for nine damage. This dude, Ted, is looking quite fucked up. Okay. That is background of moonshine.

Okay. So you got two angels that just floated in. Ted looking super fucked up. Okay. Um, that is background of moonshine. Okay. We got two angels that just floated in. Uh-huh. Ted looking super fucked up. Okay. I'm a real quick sports Ted for six. Uh, still alive. Okay. Well, I am going to, I think it's good that we get these guys right and ready to get fucked up. So, um, I'm gonna actually do ice storm on the two guys who are coming. Oh, good idea. Sweet. Yeah, so they do dexterity saving throws. Okay. One guy saved. Okay, well, the guy who didn't save takes 32.

She's a nurse. And then the one who saves takes half that. And it will make their speed slower. Yeah, you see a bunch of snow gets up in their wings. Oh, this happens to birds all the time. I mean, angels, we're angels. I'm not a bird. Yeah, maybe I'll shed a migrate a little sooner.

Does anyone have any mintos to feed them? That is the angels turn. So I'll say the two of them that moonshine just hit with this frost thing are gonna swoop down and attack her. Okay, bring it on come on First guy misses on the first attack crits on the second attack these fucking crits are insane. They hit for so much They know good. Hey, I'm at full health right now, so if you can do 80 damage more power to you Hey, did any of you angels find a commemorative coin?

Yeah, one of the guards took it I think what oh Yeah, you got lost you got lost a bunch of shit. Oh, yeah, what about washboard? It's gone 28 damage Second one again. It's a second one takes the first attack hits gets a 19 critical get if you like 24 damage second guy takes a second attack. 19 to hit. That hits. Only 15 damage. Okay. The other angel is gonna keep hacking at Bev. I'm fine.

Uh-oh. You killed Fred. You son of a B. That's weirdly sound like Balnor because they're just real straightforward guys. Hits on the first attack. 21 to hit. That might be it 25 damage. Oh, I'm down. That goes down I'm doing it and then you can fly forward and go after moonshine on the next attack Shout out to the two crew. Oh, okay, if he hit again

I was gonna be like what the fuck are you rolling with getting you guys because they hit all the time Okay gang end of the angels turn. Let's roll another D20. Goddamn it. Let's say. Oh, well they'll have to fly through the ice storm if they show up this time. Okay, we'll say one through five, two angels, six through 14, one angel,

15 through 20, Bev's dad shows up. You wanna do it? I wanna roll it this time. 10. 10. Okay, another angel. Flutes in. I'm dead, so it doesn't matter. I'll see you another angel. Flutes in.

I'm dead, so it doesn't matter. That is. Hard one's turn. I want to swing my hammer at the most hurt angel. I'm going to try to take their turns away. They are flying. They are like swooping in, hitting, and flying away. Great.

I just hold a reaction. I'll let you do, if you would like to do like, an athletics check to try to like climb up a little cottage and jump off of it, but if you fail, you'll lose your attack. I think, maybe, I have one more masterwork throwing axis. Okay. Maybe I'll throw that thing. Sweet.

That is a natural one. Maybe a work point. Oh yeah. I'll use a luck point. Go ahead. All right. Nice. 27.

Okay. You see, hard one goes to throw the axe. He has terrible form. It's like a weird side arm. But then weirdly it works. He's like some strange, lefty picture in the MLB. A Philip Rivers or something. Yeah, oh yeah, the Sidewinder.

There you go. Sidewinder, axe weirdly gets a lot of torque. Nine damage. Nine damage. You killed this one that was on Death's Door. Is that, was that Fred? That was Fred. Oh Raining feathers like a pillow fight They weren't birds they were good men good angels. They were good birds your goose is cooked

For my second attack can I try to do the cottage thing sure? Yeah, I'll say it's a harder athletics check I'll say it's a DC 25 athletics check. You do a freaking space jam jump With 16 plus eight. It's 24 yeah hard one you jump up on a cottage you do a pull up You're just a little too slow you jump up to swing your hammer at this angel And he's just a little too far away. Can I hang out on the cottage, so though, right for that. Oh, you know what, I'll take my action surge. So now that I'm on the cottage, now I'll let you jump and do an attack.

All right, dope. 24 to hit. Super hits? You have to get in position. Yeah. That's what's up. You saw that pull up everybody, and it's with a really heavy hammer.

There's one that's more hurt than the other. Yeah, there's one that failed in Stecks check against the ice one. I'm counting that, yeah. Okay. 14 damage. Quite hurt, but still alive. I'll try to hit him again with my hammer. I'm just gonna go to heaven because I'm a beautiful bird.

I mean, Angel. I mean, what? I'm an Angel. Damn, 14. 14 does not hit. He blocks it. Can I look at the amulet on Bev's dead body? Yes, you certainly can sweet. Go ahead

I'm going roll your head dice That is Bebs turn bev go ahead and give me a dead saving throw. Oh, it's that time again folks Seven you know, oh, do I add my no no you're out. All right, seven. That's a fail That is Balnor's turn on Balnor's turn Balnor is gonna try to resuscitate you so he takes He's got to get a tenor higher palnor use your gun. He's he's got a goddamn five. So he's just doing chest compressions I can't lose another one just crying hysterically. Oh everything is sadder now Moonshine your turn. Okay. I'm gonna look at Bev's amulet And then I'm just gonna do a level four

cure wounds on Bev. Sweet. Thank you, bless you. May the light be with you. See, this is what true stewardship is. Humans look after each other, you bunch of birds. We're not, we're angels, we're, we used to be humans. You're feathered, we were baptized by the goddess.

Why don't you collect some trash and make a nest out of it? 30? Hell yeah. That is the angel's turn. Hard one went up on this house and is kind of getting up in the mix, so they're gonna go after him.

Nat one on the first attack. There you go. 18 on the second attack. 25 damage on the second attack. Okay. Next one goes 19 to hit. Second attack, 25 damage on the second attack. Next one goes 19 to hit. Only 15 damage. Second guy, take a second attack, 18 to hit, misses.

Yes. Third guy, first attack. Yeah, it's gonna hit. Natural 17, 18 damage on the first, and misses on the second hit. shout out to the two crew are strong on The angels turn guys go ahead and roll a D20 15 through 20 bevs dad shows up One through 14 one more angel's hard one call my dad Jesus I'm real sick call Come on, dad.

Okay, Mr. Tologold, senior, come pick us up. 13 does not do it. Another angel. Here's my dad. He's at the racetrack again. Oh no. Angels are a lot faster than your dad. Are these angels near each other?

They're like congregated? There's three of them around hard one. I mean, they're a congregation. Yeah, we love church Cool hard one. That is your turn. I'm gonna keep on the roof. Okay. I am going to I guess just swing my hammer to nature again Okay, I'll say you can jump you'll need to do an athletics check. Okay, they're flying around Oh, yeah, I'll just jump and try to hit one with a hammer. Okay I'll say oppose athletics check and then we will Let you do your two attacks if you win. Okay. I got a 21 for my athletics They got 18 so you win. So you catch one as you're trying to fly away. He's a little hurt. It's like a carnival game Catch an angel whack a bird whack a bird

Not a bird, 22. 22 hits, yeah. I call. 14 damage. This one is super hurt. He's on that store. Can I try to kill him with a second attack? Sure can.

Cool. 17 does not hit. Oh no. He blocks it. You did it, left blind me. Oh yeah, look. Yeah, go ahead and do that. It's really helpful to have your reward.

I heard him. Please do that. Also have pellish for buke. They have not been using. Oh, that's right. Yeah have your reward. I heard him. Please do that. Also have hellish for a buke. They have not been using. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Okay, so I'll use that next time also. Yeah.

26. Hits. 19 damage. Hard one finished this angel. Oh! I grab an egg out of its ass. And I, there's no egg. That was for lunch.

That was just some top of where. That's not, some top aware that's not I didn't lay that I Didn't lay that I prepared it. I don't know man. I heard it a singular Luce cuz I I'm not a bird a single uncooked egg In your ass I shoved it in his mouth and give him Salmonella to kill He dies of shame, um, bad that's your turn. Oh, I'm also I'm gonna take myella to kill him. You die. He dies of shame. Bev, that's your turn. Three.

I'm also, I'm gonna take my second win here too. Go for it. Oh boy. Bev, that is your turn. Okay. Three angels remain. Yes. Cool.

One is a little hurt. Yeah, let me do a javelin's might. 22. 22 hits. Great, all right. I'll do a second level of divine's might. Okay. Ooh, all right, so that's six plus five. 11 damage. Great. All right. I'll do a second level divine smite. Okay. Ooh, all right. So that's a six plus five 11 damage sweet and then divine smite. I will let you

Yeah, Beth go ahead and make a religion check. I'll say DC 15 if you beat it You can override their resistance to radiant damage It will be like palore is a different type of light than their bullshit. My God is an awesome God. He's fat and parties all day. He loves to water scheme. My God is named Palore. You're hearing the distance, you're dad singing it back. I rolled a one, gonna do my reroll, because I'm a lucky boy. Palore is watching? No, you're not.

You're just not. No, you're not. That's 20! You are lucky. What? That's 20, Pallor. Dude, you fucking crit on the radiant damage. Roll it double. All right.

And for the rest of the fight, you'll do full radiant damage whenever you do a smite. What the hell? This is, Polar is mad at these fucking posers. They're posers, not only are they not resistant to it. This guy's gonna take double damage. All right, so roll as if you got a crit. 39 damage. That is weirdly enough, exactly enough to kill one of hell.

Yeah, this is divine retribution Yeah, you see the image of Polore shoving a beach ball into this angel's head and it pops and his head explodes You know when you're at the beach what is more annoying than a bunch of fucking seagulls? You can see goals, no fucking around while you're trying to eat Polore just like has a BB gun and just shoot some down Bound are just gonna go. He's gonna shoot his gun twice. That was my first attack. Oh, go ahead dude Excuse me. Take another juggling attack. All right. It's not gonna be as good as that. No, but I guess I will divine smite again Okay, that's a it's always a bummer when you do that in your first attack. It's 21 hits great

27 damage. Sweet, you fuck this guy right up. Bound or finish it. Bound or shoots his gun at him twice. I love shooting it. I love skeet shooting. Yeah dude. Bound or his duck hunt right now.

I'm going hunting with my dad. He hits for eight damage on this dude that's already hurt. Oh, can I look at my amulet as well? Certainly. Cool, great. Munchen, back around you. Okay. Um, are there, how are they congregated together? Yeah, because they were attacking a hard one. Okay. I'm going to do third level ice knife. Sweet. Well, which means that I throw an ice knife at one of them. I'll make a range attack,

but no matter whether or not it hits or not it explodes and then they take damage. Sweet, I'll do that safe for you. They both fail. Does a 20 hit. Super hits. Okay so the weakest one takes 19 and then the other two take 10. Sweet, there are only two left.

One of them is very very hurt and one of them is a little hurt. Can you spore is that person? No, you're on the ground. You need to do an athletics check and stuff. Can I make a cup with my chill touch and spores? Oh, we know I can't because I can't do a can trip and I'm not a spell. You can do a can trip and a spell. I'll let you do an Arcana check to do that. That's gonna be pretty tough. I'll say DC 20 Arcana check. I got a fucking 19. God damn it. I got a literal 19, because I have zero on top. Oh, you have zero on top.

That's brutal. That's fucking brutal. You see the hand gets up super close and then just, it's a little outweighed. It's not used to holding stuff. It just usually goes out there and slaps people. All right, we're gonna have to do some exercises. We're gonna do some curls.

You gotta join the heartbugs. That is the angel's turn. I'm gonna fly the hand. turn the angels fly down on hard one swoop in Fucking natural 18 hell is your buke. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna hell is your buke this motherfucker. Oh cool after it hits It's attack 25 damage on the first hit okay. Go ahead new hell is your buke I'll do a wisdom saving throw. Okay. Yes, they're 18, so it's half, so do 2D10,

but it'll take half. I rolled a 1 and a 2. Cool, so it takes one damage. Awesome. That item is better than you just made it, for sure. I haven't even used mine yet. It makes it about a lot of damage. Makes it second attack.

Nat 5 misses next angel nat 1 misses 17 hits Nat 17 rather right 29 damage, okay? How you doing good? I took my second win, okay great all right end of angels turn guys go ahead and roll me a D20 15 through 20 bev's dad shows up one through 15 another angel These we gotta find their nest

That is like their nest on five hard one keep on hatching all right I'm gonna there's a hurt angel by me right?. Alright, I'm gonna swing my hammer out and do it. 24. Hits? 13 damage. Kill one. I'm gonna try to hit the other one. Go for it.

Fucking birds. Not one. Hate birds. It's so funny to think about someone hitting a bird with a hammer. Hahaha. Hahaha. Just right out of the air. And that's what you've done here today.

Truly so brutal. Babe, that's your turn. Oh boy. All right. Um, I wonder if I can do anything fun on this turn. It'd be fun to just kill these angels. The most fun we could have is murdering all the angels. I'll say if you use a full turn, if you use your action, I will lower the DC of finding

your dad. Oh, if I use my action to try and scoop scout for my dad. Yeah. Can I maybe as a bonus action shout? Sure, just to kind of, or you know what, I haven't done this yet this turn. I'm gonna climb up, ignite my blade, and kind of wave it around.

Okay. And then while I'm waving it around, I'll also kill an angel like that. Well, that's just attract more. Potentially. There's already, you guys have attracted as many people as possible. Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of picturing it like

those people at the airport that wave the things for the airplane. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing that. There are more angels you guys see as you're a top. Are you climbing a top building? Yeah, what I'm doing. Go ahead and give me an athletics.

I'm bouncing off of an awning. Okay, and then I'm bouncing off another awning. That's definitely more acrobatics. Yeah, this I'm doing. Go ahead and give me an athletic shot. I'm bouncing off of an awning. Okay, and then I'm bouncing off another awning. That's definitely more acrobatics. Yeah, this is gonna be acrobatics. That's cool. Ha ha ha. You're like, no, it's athletic, my acrobatics. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not.

Uh oh, uh, 13 enough? Yeah, 13 tonight. Okay, cool. You're able to climb up to at the top of one of these houses. I'm gonna say that with a 13 though, you struggle enough that you can't like go up and swing your sword, you'll need to throw a javelin. Okay, cool.

But I'll say you can ignite your sword and wave it around so that possibly your dad can see it. You see that there are a lot more angels, but there's a lot more angels towards like the castle because they kind of assume something's going on there. Does 19, or 18 18 18 just hits. Whoo. Should he's my last device might at second level? Yeah, let's fucking finish the I mean I have two spells left so I'm gonna need to like a straight-up long rest gotcha all right cool

22 damage cool good dude's pretty heard all right alive you can throw a second travel and if you got him oh you'll let me throw another one yeah yeah fuck him up yeah let's do it take him to birdie heaven that's another not 20 nice yes you can do you have any smites left yeah I got one more at first level I can do I mean that would be double damage why not let's do it let it, gang. So 48's and 2d6's already Uh, there's another 22 damage sweet. This one guy is very fucked up. All right cool That is Boundore's turn. He's gonna shoot his gun at high point my sword towards the angel Uh-huh

I roughed him up for you. Boundore hits with his gun Wow Hits for nine damage the students very fucked up Boundoreor hits again, shoots this angel right out of the sky. Do we have a dog that can go retrieve its body? Yeah. Winner winner. You see the little ghost, a lageringer, who becomes a dog and does the little,

he hits cute, does the little hee hee. Little duck hunt, hee hee. Boundor thinks it's hilarious. So do I. Boundor laughs for way too long. Okay, well, calm down. You, does he like cry a little bit as laughing like you feel like he needed that? Yeah, definitely.

Oh, back around a moonshot. I just got a lightning bolt this angel in the sky. Okay. So I look up to them, stormy skies I created and I summon a bolt of lightning. Sweet, watcha. Ooh, okay. 20 plus. plus birds hate lightning

It starts 33 Jesus You fully took this person to half health What nice No, I needed him to fucking get out of the skies. We can stop fucking calling more angels Yeah, that is the angels turn it is going to make two attacks against hard one Mrs. On the first attack Mrs. On the second attack, but it is going to try to call for help Right guys, so I'll say bev flashed this sword. It's been a bunch of rounds. There's not that many angels left

11 through 20 bev's dad gets there one through 10 one more angel shows up there all this one come on Dev we've emptied the vault of heaven now only my dad is left Nope, wait do I get to reroll that or is it just attack rolls? No Shout to the two crew How many angels is that another angel? geez whoops in That is Hard one stern another angel, she swoops in. That is hard one, Stern.

I'm gonna try to fight the angel that moonshine fucked up a little bit. Yep, okay, cool, I'm gonna swing my hammer out her. 16, does not hit. I'll use, I won't last like point. There we go, there we go. Yeah, we're gonna need a full rest. 18, hits. Listen man, there's a cheese sandwich and some milk with your name on it

if you'll join us. 13 damage, would you there's a cheese sandwich and some milk with your name on it if you'll join us 13 damage would you say about a cheese sandwich? Yeah, we have them. They're plain really wheat bread Hey, you ever thought I ever thought about putting a hot dill pickle on there a crisp coin of dill pickle He fully throws up. How about a big helping a friggin meat turn that thing into a gosh dang slider 24 hits. You take one grilled cheese, you cut it into fourths, and then you got a party. 14 damage.

Super hurt. So alive. That is. Babes turn. Okay. I'm up on the roof still. Yep. Can I athletic to try and jump onto one of the angels?

Yes you can. I am going to take something I've had forever and having had a chance to use it. I take the magic muzzle. I took off of one of the guards in, go later on prison. It was what was keeping my dad from using spells. Okay.

I clasp it over the angel's mouth so he can't shout for any more guards. Do you wanna go after the full health one or the one who's on DeathStore? I'll go after the full health one. The one who's looking strapping and strong. Okay, this dude just flew in. You jump at him, making a post athletics check.

Okay. 18. Okay, he got a 13, you win. I will with the athletics check, I'll say, you're gonna need to use basically your full action to put this mask over this guy, but you are fully able to muzzle him. Okay, he's muzzled.

Sweet. I give a real thumbs up. That's Balnor's turn. This dude's on Death Store. All you guys have to do is kill this one angel and ensure that this other angel doesn't fly away with Beverly, because I guess you could probably do that.

No way, I'm gonna ride him now. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor shoots with his gun, misses on the first attack. Balnor's got a gun. Balnor misses on the second attack. That's Moonchnor's turn. Balnor shoots with his gun. Misses on the first attack. Balnor's got a gun. Balnor misses on the second attack. That's Moon Shines turn. Can I climb up high enough that I would be within range to spores?

You can do an athletics check to do that. Yeah, I'll do that. 17. 17 will do it. OK, so I get up. I spores the really hurt one. It dies. Yeah! Yeah! Oh, go. You fucker. I piss on that bird's corpse. Okay, so I get up I spores the really hurt one it dies

You fucker I piss on that bird's corpse and then I guess I'm going to just thorn whip I'm gonna try and just thorn whip the angel that Beverly's on to like get him closer to the oh good idea I'll get that we can all go ahead and make an attack roll this dude was gonna try to fly away all out of tack 11 Go ahead and make an attack roll this dude was gonna try to fly away all out of tack He's not do it you whip up does not quite do it that is this angels turn on this angels turn He's going to take some attacks at Beverly. Let's you muzzle him just starts fucking stabbing at you Not 15 that's a 21 to hit. No, sir. 19 damage on the first hit. Hits on the second hit, natural 19. Wait, oh, right, but he adds only.

35 damage on the second hit. I'm still up, wow. Bev is still up. I'm hurt, but I'm still up. But he's extremely hurt. Okay, end of the angel's turn. Go ahead and roll a D20. Hard one your turn. 16. So, Bev, you get stabbed by this angel. Moon Chine is whipping at its feet trying to grab its ankles, trying to stop it

from flying away with you. On its turn is trying to use its ankles, trying to stop it from flying away with you on its turn, it's trying to use its movement to fly away. You see, whew, whew, this little halfling man, this green knight, this knight of the summer court, captain, Beverly Togold IV. Faye steps, doesn't misty step, Faye steps, over to this angel and grabs its ankles. Let go of my boy, his sons are bees. Daddy, I'm gonna say on Bev's senior's turn, he fully just uses dad strength to just lower this angel to the ground. Hard one, that is your turn. Awesome. If he's just like take him out scout master holding

In place I'm gonna jump I'm gonna fully jump off the roof try to yeah Advantage don't don't need to that's a nat 20 Plays over this one angel is just like has this muzzle over it's out from Beverly Bev seniors pulled it down. It's a full on fucking horror show mess him up dad We're all gonna mess them up. There are 37 damage. Jesus. Uh, so hurt. Go ahead and take your second attack. There we go Get him hard one. I know that one. Ah Dang Get him hard one, get him all the net one. Ah! Dang, once it's wonny's woo-ah! He got excited, I'm so many once this episode. You have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to very excited. Yeah, you just keep saying, you're doing a good job, son.

Thanks, Dad. Religion is proud of you. Hey, Dad, watch this. Well, 14 doesn't hit. No, I'll go and take your second to tell you. Yeah, so what I even do say, watch this, but then not even roll one, just roll like fine. Like you would have hit a bully walk or something

All right, I I can't mess this up in front of my dad. I'm gonna use true strike don't yeah, get them 19 hits all right, let's do the dams and I'm using my sword now cuz I'm next yeah, right it next to it It gleams with an emerald light that reflects off of the orange of the fake court armor for 13 damage. Beverly finished this angel. Yes. I hold my sword out to my dad

and kind of like ask him to grab it with me. He grabs the end of it with you and gives you a, your dad is crazy. He has had a rough few months. He's super pumped to see you. I say, for mom, for mom. Fucking slash this angel's throat. I look at hard one and I'm like are you worried about like Balnor scene Bev with his real bad after Balnor just found out. I'm Balnor's new son. Yeah. Okay. Balnor's just watching jealous. Bev's dad embraces him. Oh God. Bev. I'm sorry. We didn't mean for it to be this long. We didn't mean for it to be this way. It's not your fault, bud. Unless you like waited around on purpose. No, I'm assuming no, we were super busy. It's not your fault

I can show you my calendar. Okay, let me see it real quick It's got a lot of little post it's not not a bunch of x's on it, pal It's been a big day. It's been a big week. It's been a big 25 years Five come on. Let me hug you. He gives you a big dad hug I hug him for a moment. I kind of breathe in the musk. I note that the musk has changed. Yeah, it's much more rustic than it was. He was a city halfling before, and now he's a woodsman.

Yeah, the old spice is gone. There's a new spice, and I'm not sure what to think of it yet, but after hugging him for a moment, I do look over at Balnor, and I back in him over. Dad, I want you to meet, well, but after hugging him for a moment, I do look over at Balnor and I... I back in him over. Dad, I want you to meet... Well, this is gonna be a little strange, but I want you to meet our dad.

You see, Bev Senior looks over at Balnor and he goes... Alonus told me about you. Thanks for looking out for him. Thanks for watching out for my boy. You see Balnor looks legitimately touched by what he just said, even though he's a little jealous, but then Bev's senior walks over and just gives him a big bear hug. My high five moonshine and hard one. Yeah, I wasn't expecting you, so he just hits me. Oh, sorry, I was taking it in the moment. Yeah, yeah, sorry

Rainier hope but pop up pushes Beverly. Oh, yeah, I was also slapped I just do this child Me and such writing what's right can a boy slap his friends thighs Down or is kept a safe, but now that you're here. We're freaking unstoppable Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I say we wait for the dang hounds You start sharpening a sword Yo, my back brother. Wait a fucking go. And that's where we'll let me Session oh man. I straight up need to rest before we do Oh, yeah, I'm zero. I got no luck. No second win. No Let's talk about it on the short

Rats. I want to talk about it on the short. Right. I'm sure I said I want to talk about how I thought this encounter was going to go, which is that I didn't think that you guys were instantly going to alert the entire city to your whereabouts. Yeah. You did eventually turn it into a stealth mission, which was good.

Yeah, but it wouldn't be the bad boobs without killing 13 angels in a row. True. True. Just a fucking fight, man. Just a full six and 20 angels baked into a pie. I feel like Jake needs a rest as much as hard what it is. Likewise.

Yeah. All right, guys, we got some stuff to plug, guys. Check out Hot Date on Netflix. Me and Emily's sketch show. Also check out our satirical relationship advice book. It's called, Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call Into Your Emergency Contact. It's available on Amazon and on Audible. But what else you guys got to plug? I tried. I tried Brother Sister Co. Sister, Mr. Literally Today. And I got to give you

a very specific compliment, which is I haven't used, because it's kind of like a lotion, it's like an oil, so it softens your bad. And it's really nice to use a spray lotion. Yeah, little sprets. Yeah. I was like, why have I been like slathering myself? Like god damn bird. Yeah, you can't use a keyboard,

other birds. I'm always hating on the birds. I love it. Thank you so much. So it was nice. I was very impressed by Sister Mister. I'll update you in a month when I've been like using it every day.

I cannot let you tell how soft and glowy I am. We'll be monitoring your sheen. I want to continue to plug big city greens. Season 1.5 is airing now. Check it out. A lot of fun episodes, a lot of weird ones. The time of these recordings is totally weird, but a while back we had Fuzzy Bear do a voice on the show. Nice.

Which is so fun. Fuzzy Bear in character as the Muppet did a voice on our show. It's very weird, it's very cool. Go check it out. The episode is called Herty Tooth if you want to look that one up. Whoa, cool. Damn. Emily already, you promoted my family business. It's very cool. Go check it out. The episode is called herty tooth if you want to look that one up. Whoa cool. Damn Emily already you promoted my my family business I'll you know my mom has a business too. It's called Jake's mom's cookies.com My family's very entrepreneur Jake's mom's cookies.com. She has a male delivery cookie. You guys are fucking so

Jakesmumscookies.com. She has a male delivery cookie. You guys are fucking so slurs. Check it out, dude. How are we, free? She will definitely, she'll make a special batch for you. I can get you some gluten free cookies. It's really nice that your mom makes cookies, but it's fucked up that we haven't eaten any of them yet. Why do you not prepare that?

I really, I actually feel really bad. I'll have a big ol' batch sent right here. I also like to plug Murph and Emily for hosting me this This past yeah, yeah great host Yeah, well actually get to hang out a little bit tonight. I think that's right. Yeah place him with your maybe hell Yeah, yeah sweet guys We're gonna fuck Triss and Yennefer Triss train guys follows on Twitter at CH Murph is medeas Caldwell, at EX for his Emily, at J-Kher which is Jake,

and tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of a nation, we are, we are, the youth of a nation. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Oh, y'all are so good to us. Ready for it. Starting with Brad D, the only pebble-pot that isn't Craven, Brad D may not be Craven, but they are half-raven, which is unfortunate because their cousins are terrified of birds. Squawk, squawk.

Jay Lomas 72, aka Steelbreaker, hard one's gym inspiration, steelbreaker recently asked a moonshine to polymorph them into a centaur so they'd have more legs tour. Oh, bull. Next up, Dylan, be a sword-wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, despite their blade prowess, Dylan still always cuts them self-while shaving. Oh, hey to hear that. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf

anage. Danny also hid the secret location of a pile of treasure, an invisible ink on the painting, but no one is cared enough to check for it. Wow, no one's looking at that. Tom P. Father of the Realm and serenader of Sleeping Babies, it turns out Tom's secret is just warm juice, which is a bit underwhelming, but you can't mess with the results. looking at that. Tom P. Father of the Realm and Serenader of Sleeping Babies, it turns out Tom's secret is just warm juice, which is a bit underwhelming, but you can't mess with the results. De-licious.

Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia, like Spencer's bloody Mary Bar is so long it extends across the plains of existence and defies all logic. It also features three types of pickles. Oh, I would spend a day at that bar. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver-born, dragon-born, eldritch knight, X owner of the Badgers, pint in, and unfortunately, the X owner of a brand new

Fixie bike. Griffin actually just used a wish spell to get their bike back, which created a series of chain reactions that ended with the chosen, entering the Fey Wild. Still worth it, though. just used a wish spell to get their bike back which created a series of chain reactions that ended with the chosen entering the Fey Wild. Still worth it though. Totally worth it. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohumia. Beardman Dan's beard is so long that it's used in regulation NFL football matches to measure first downs. Also the F in NFL stands for

Fey, just thought I'd clarify. Scott D and Esri scientists doing some promising work in the field of thermodynamics, unfortunately, they're having trouble getting funded because their work doesn't sound magic-y enough. Heron C. the homeless man that was used by the band of boobs to distract the chosen back in Galatoron, Aaron actually invented yelling, who's that and running away, but they didn't get credit because the chosen run the patent office. Hermes W. The Back King. Hermes is actually a chosen angel too, but the all messed up when baptizing them needless to say they're making the most of it.

Spartus, a known gladiator who uses a normal-sized sword that they call the finisher of shins. Out! Adam R. The R-rated assassin, sometimes uses their rogabilities to sneak kids in actual R-rated movies and hurt their parents during the film. Whoa! No. Cassandra M-H-P-A-K-A Cassandra Max H-P, Cassandra has so

much H-P, she uses a dragon turtle as her personal sauna. Danielle, the dastardly d Dame, let's check in on her. Danielle, Danielle is so dastardly that she actually killed an angel in fright. It's winged up like chicken delicious, but wrong, Dona. So wrong. You see, AKA Howdor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, crewed on the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red. He was so tough they slept in the crow's nest every night.

Their neck is fully sideways though. Okay. Mani the Monday and accidental deity you got in the way of a lichest spell to reach Divinity if you ask for the side salad but get fries instead that's Mani giving you what you need. Oh thank you Mani! Daniel you aka multiple or the many face magician. Four of their faces are actually two-face from Batman, which is impressive, but confusing.

Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, DJs, a POD, and Creed only mixer for the chosen every Tuesday at four, best to get there early, because the milk goes fast. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, and was recently floored by Maharshala Ali's performance in Moonlight. That's right. Jeff's a bit of a film buff. Old movie, though. Cutter W. A high-off dandy turn-crick bark attack.

Cutter actually just opened a new furniture store in Glade Home called Stump and Barrel, and yes, yes, that is all they sell. Wow. I shop there. Lex, sketch, the escape artist. The only thing Lex can't get out of is their wireless We told you you wouldn't watch enough cable TV to justify the triple play package Lex

We warned you we're new John as a gay subred the mushroom Shoebert actually solved the platform puzzle in three seconds flat So fuck us I guess so did we take fuck us, I guess. Well, what did we take? Fuck us the hell. Ryan and him. For exact good. Ryan and him, a Crick Elf Zoologist, who studies the mating habits of nanophys and discovered the exact humidity you need to keep your jar rat to keep those little guys fucking. Yum, yum.

Alaina, see a red worm, only dates blue worms because they're trying to make themselves a cute, little deadly purple worm, baby. Andrew M. Barrett, Bristens personal chef, who's always finding innovative new ways to incorporate milk in each dish. Disgusting. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Man in,

recently hosted a cheeky Chosen Night in which everyone drank brandy Alexander's garnished with stale, low sodium crackers. Salty. Victor T. Boundore's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Spins every Sunday searching the bleachers at... I stalks you, Ben.

Matches for his lost father's face. Still doing this. Justin I, a bird who is constantly getting mistaken for an angel, it's really flattering and Justin especially loves whenever it happens on a first date. Clayton M. acclaimation Dalmatian who is who is the youth of the nation who is who is the youth of the nation. Provectional the only lawyer to successfully beat papa in litigation. Sure it was devastating for papa's clients loose custody of their child but man if the professional didn't put on a master class.

So effortless. Jacob C. An Angel with Alopecia, who sparsely feathered in bony wings. Oh my god. Actually make them look more intimidating than normal angel. Alaina M. The political cartoonist for the later on Gazette, who recently drew a picture of the Alus Suckling, some chosen nights, so graphic it got them put in prison. Checkpux, the amazing code master who programmed our website, Nick Pux, also made a website for the Frostwin Thieves Guild, which immediately got them arrested and shut down.

Earl and Kathleen Al, the Fae King and Fae Queen of the late August early September court, which is arguably the sweatiest most miserable of the Fae realms. Jive G, an alladron ghost who can actually speak, but they love charades, so they just pretend they can't. Corbin A, aka the winged warrior. Corbin can't actually fly, they just love eating wings. Yes, they have tried a deep fried angel wing, and yes, they recommend it with a side of blue cheese. The- Jostrich! The Jostrich! They may be a simple bird, but hell yeah, they watch the Steven Spielberg classic whenever it's on TV. Commercials and all. Donut.

Duh. He held drag, aka. The drag or not. Frostwin's biggest and baddest iron dwarf due to a bug in their programming. This iron dwarf is also ironically anemic. Oh no, that's dangerous. In Cameron's Sea, a Feywild gnome who actually sells a really good fertilizer to make your trolls trapped in sunflower gardens flourish. Chara Arcadia, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own, they would double date except that their taste and partners is so similar, Chara often loses his date

to his tail. Understandable. Daniel R. Ram Daniel's evil twin. Daniel saw the power vacuum amongst the nobles after the ban of boobs killed their shaman offered to be the personal steed of the noel who is next in line and has been subtly manipulating their delicate knowledge politics ever since. Uh, Nicholas R. A.K. St. Crickles, if you wait in line at the mall, you can take a picture with St. Crickles, but he gets to keep the Polaroid afterwards.

Damn. Jennifer V, a bear fighter who uses a sword instead of their claws, because Jennifer is civilized. Destin C found a wishstone on eBay for only 80 bucks. Oh, ho. He's gonna sit and watch it for a while, but Destin is ready to pound. I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Devin B, the bodega lord, residing deep within the deli dimension, Devin protects all their followers with the power of Mountain Dew and Baloney. Oh, Michael, El, the only Michael in Bohumia.

Just a dude named Michael lives in a magical airship city. Gotta have one. Sam H, a bard with an animal familiar cat that has a loot. The cat can't play it, but it looks cute. It's a cute loot. Kelvin Noodle's a post elemental. Every attack Kelvin does is well done.

Can you have well done Noodles? Was this even a pun? I don't know. What's the opposite of Aldante? Sergio Salazar Solomon? It's right. Sakurai is this de-soukiani. Seventh of his name, of course. Salazar Solomon. That's right. Sakurai is this desu-kiani.

Seventh of his name, of course. A sexy Peruvian snake poke with a sweet snake pattern on his skin. Anytime Sergio asks a dry ad if they want a rolled deep, they say yes. Traile the cray-fay who says, Neeeee! Too hard while killing horses,

a true animal rights activist trying to take down a monster. I killed, I did what had to be done. Aaron G, master of the banishment spell. Aaron will banish the bad vibes at any party they're at. So hit him up! Aaron is free tonight. Eric B, loaned hard one his first kid cutty LP. And I lost it.

I caught it. Jury S made hard one his first mix CD and didn't comment on all the emo tracks. Wow. A lupe card, a reverse Dracula, does not come back if you kill them, can go out in the sun and doesn't crave blood. So essentially, a normal person.

I'd hang with them. Baby doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section and the only doctor to appear on World Star for performing their own C section. Whoa. Adam H. Adam H has a ripped, thick bod. The Vicious U to Old Cobb's Vicious V. Like puzzle pieces. Thank you. Colin G, the Chipper Monk handler down at the creek, taught Kelvin.

How to see. Wow, a handler and a singer. Ryan Ryan a hard one's ram who was brutally killed No, when hard one abandoned him Ryan spared currently haunts the frigid North looking to get revenge on its former master He's a buzzy play Good luck Ryan big buck the only donkey to ever be vindictively killed by a Big Buck, the only donkey to ever be vindictively killed by an DM. So one of their players would cut down on the shenanigans. Who would do that? You're the animal murderer.

Richard F, a honey goblin who was crushed under a massive jar of honey, and then later reincarnated as a beekeeper. It seems even death cannot keep Richard from their sacred purpose being a beekeeper. Whaa. Taylor S. AKA.K.A. Trast the traveler, Trast has actually been stowing away on hard ones ship, and yes, Trast found the portrait of Gemma no way.

Ah, John W.G., the only well-behaved young in at the crack. Gotta be one. Gotta get in the truck. Troy McCee, the only ill-behaved green team. They should get together! They should get together. Cannibalistic Cthulhu regularly holds dinner parties

where they serve literal finger sandwiches. It sounds disgusting, but Cthulhu makes their own mayonnaise and it's delicious. Yum! Sam L. anork with a very sexy Italian accent, so even though they say really dumb, ork things, it sounds like poetry. I'm getting it for all for it.

Dumb R has the most matches on Bohumi and Tinder, but has never met anyone in person. Come on, dumb. Get out there. You're stud. You can do it. Josh S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Josh's new robot calves are a tiny bit thinner, but his quads are twice as big. You know, oh. Blitz, Brig, Demetri, owner of Dorgers, Big Borgers. Borgers, Big Borgers! Blitz, Brig, just added sliders to the menu, but often not to change the size of the Borgers, so if you get the sliders, it's just three big Borgers.

Awesome! Caleb Storm, Cup Bearer in Cords Great Hall. Caleb is the only human in the world who can hold courts absolutely enormous horn of ale. Andrew A. running to the left of Joe as mayor of the creek. Andrew doesn't really want to win. They just want to see Joe talk about more kitchen table issues. No, Bob. Don't split the vote. Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bahumia, and just won an Oscar for their role in the film Green Team Book. I like it. Congrats, Nicholas.

Matt L. Alonus' weed dealer Alonus will often ask Matt to hang out after they drop the delivery, and Matt will take one for the team and just veg out while Alonus talks not stop about interplanar travel and alternate timelines. Targot owner a proprietor of Bohumi's beloved general store, Targot. Stop by Targett just after Halloween for some great deals on Candy, also before and during Halloween,

because the prices are always pretty great. Mygey helps the Bear Prince shave his back once and shaved a big ol' penis out of the Prince's back air. Every tourist loved it. Solid prank, Mike. Kevin S, the only fighter who can split wider than hard one, has killed more foes with their months pubis as well. Well, triple, a gangster rapping high-off

who is very problematic, but still crushes Faye Chela every year. Ha ha. Garrett M, a bard who plays the air guitar, and as their foes are staring in disbelief at how Garrett foes shred staring in disbelief at how Garrett foe shreds Garrett stabs them in the eye with the guitar pick Matthew E. Taking a gap here in the Feywild and studying DJing and philosophy with the Bear Prince only now their teacher is dead So Matthew's gonna have to go home and take over the family business Samuel B a really cute lifeguard in Hill home

Who is checking out Irwin right now? What the f Oh, no b-money a literal comb of honey. How do I know because what is a b's money? It's honey honey. Now that's How to wild night at the club and is now the first person first patron to piss, shit, puke, and Rech into space. Wow Guardian of light, Zach H. Holds the record in Bohemia for most Diet Coke's chugged in one sitting the record is zero because it has never happened Maddie Big Crits after losing in flip cup Maddie has spent every day training to be the best by binge drinking.

Maddie's not great at flip cup and bad at everything else. Mitch D. and Enlightened Drunken Master, Water Genasi named Dac Alpha, who is actually more of a Vatkasota Genasi, put a little lime on Doc. Now that's tasty and not that bad for you either. Curtis S. Balnor's pinnacle partner who will often wager a tuna sandwich on a game, but when tuna's on the line, Balnor has never lost. Colton B. Also fixes food for Alonist every time she gets the munchies.

Colton's latest concoction, Cotton Candy, drizzled with a hot vudge. Okay. I'm in. Barrett K. Best tennis player in Bahumia has won the Glateron Open, the Crit Competition, and Frost Wimbledon. Ooh. Jen's Christian teeth, the Jens who taught Jens Lindell had a hideous penis with a twirly knife.

Jens Lindell came up with the nipple and butt stuff on his own. Gage M has the thickest ear gauges in Bahumia. Gage's earrings are so thick they look like moonshine's thighs. Ooh, and finally, Montana monarch. The ruler of the wild frontier, Montana's realm is hundreds of miles, but only has nine subjects living there. Solid Montana joke, y'all, alright. Thank you guys so much for listening. Head on over to Patreon to listen to our short rest. You can find that at patreon.com slash nad pod.

We'll be back next week with another episode. Thank you guys so much. Bye. Later. That was a hate gun podcast.