Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 55: Tricky Trials (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: March 21, 2019

The Band of Boobs face the trials of the Autumn Court! Beverly tries not to lose his head, Hardwon experiences the side effects of death, and Moonshine tries to figure out which witch is which. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"The Autumn Court" by Emily Axford."Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."A Sight For Sore Eyes" by Emily Axford."The Widow" by Emily Axford."The Witch's Den" by Emily Axford."Behold! Treasure" by Emily Axford."The Nannerfly Effect" by Emily Axford."Great Crone of the Sea" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to the Whomya, everyone. Whomya! Whomya! I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one sure foot.

Emily Axford. Moonshine Sabin. Hound Huntress and Mistress of the Mayona. Nice. Gross. And called Old Tanner. Beverly Toggle the fifth. Yippie Skippy.

Whippy Dippy. Nice. Yeah, you looted that before. I want to-skippy? Whippy-dippy. Nice. Yeah, you looted that before. I want to say, Yippee-skippy, give me Whippy. That's good, but also implies that I'm into it, and that was all façade. Oh, okay, I see, I see. Yeah, cool guys, let's do a little recap.

So last week, you guys appeared on a transporter in the autumn territory, and doing so, you were able to bring Tariff, the ghost Aladdin's bow to the surface world and complete her unfinished business. You saw her reunite with her sister, who offered to hold off the hounds while you all ran off to get yourself's rest. You began making your way to the autumn court, but stopped at the spot of Boundor's secret halfling village and began preparing to fight the hounds.

After a quick sleep, you tucked Queen Cyrilla safely away in a plant again, then hid up in the trees and prepared for a fight. It started off poorly with the hounds utilizing invisibility and other tricks, but once you took out their maids, you started to do a bit better. However, hard one was killed by Zalix. Who killed him? I'm just kidding, I'm absolutely kidding. I had it slept in a week, thinking of it. Hard one was killed by Zalix death lance

during the fight. Before Bev could revive by him, Hard one found himself in a strange in between world and being pulled in different directions towards Corden his father, towards Gemma and Moridan, and even heard calls from his mother in some dark parallel plane. Finally, Beverly Revivified, hard one who sprang back to life together, you all killed the rest of the hounds, saving yourselves, and getting revenge for Balnor's village, and in a way, hard one who was dead for a second there.

And that's where we are now. So you guys are in the spots of Balnor's old village, because if just finished this fight, Balnor just poured Zalik out of the bag who has in fact, bled to death inside the bag. Balnor is hosing off the bag now. Sorry, I was getting a little out. That's a good thing.

Amped up there, and eat that tuna zip locked. Yeah, you were doing you and you were living your truth and it felt real. Where's that death lance at? It's on Zalik's body. I truly do not like this cursed item. I would like to collect it and hopefully we can find someone. Like, do I get the sense that this could be turned

into some sort of, um, revivify thing? It sounds like a magical potent. Go ahead and give like an Arcona checker or a religion check if you guys wanna both do it Beverly. I got a Natt one. A Natt one.

Okay, and that's a mighty fine land, so you could probably go catch some fish with it. I picked one, Tee, put it. Yeah, you die. If you could probably go catch some fish with it. Yeah, you die. If you caught a trout with that, with a trout just evaporate. Yes, it would be a bad trout. It would make you very sick.

Religion check, religion or arcana. Well, with religion, I got a 19. 19. Okay, Bev, you look at this. This radiates evil, very clearly a cursed item. If one of you were to use it, it would be bad for the soul. I hold it with like a paper towel. They...

But I don't want to just leave it, my point is I don't want to leave this in some open brush and have like a fucking chipper monk suddenly wielding a death land. But wouldn't that be cute? You see some chipper monks pretty excited. Sorry, let me qualify. I don't want it to be wielded by a chipper monk and I don't get to stick around and see it now I understand let's pop it in the bag

You want to put in the bag? We could wrap it up. I think so now I would trust you to get that thing prepped and ready to go He's he strips Zalik's corpse and makes like a packing of blankets So we see Zalik's naked body now. He tastesfully, he respectfully leaves his boxers on. He's got a real baggy. For what boxers, yeah. Just like baggy heart. It's a little basic.

Is it baggy? You can tell that he's washed from so many times and the elastic is just given way. Yeah, it's like you thought this was kind of a sexy guy, but maybe he was just kind of playing it up. So we could just pants him really easy. Yeah. Okay.

I peek a little bit. You see his drought dick. Yes. Just a regular, regular size. You get shrivels from the sunlight. Yeah. Let me roll a D8. Two-incher.

Whoa. You know, I think death is bad on the death. Death also isn't great on the D. Yeah, that's true, that's true. We don't know where the body goes. Hearing Moonshine talk about transforming this into components has kind of given me a renewed sense of my new mission in life,

which is I'm done collecting teeth and patches and dads and now I will find as many components as I can so that I can always revivify my friends. And I promise to die as often as I can. We need to get you like a pissed dispenser but with like revivify components. Oh, I like that. Like a little shooter, a little hopper.

Yeah. I will say hard one. You do feel a little chill in your bones. Like you feel a little different. Like when you first woke up and came back from the root of a thigh, there was a moment where you felt like you were in that other like dark plane that you heard your mother calling from.

You feel this weird connection to this darkness. Right. You feel like you died a little bit, like you lost a little bit of like your soul. I shake it off How how many yard stare is is hard when doing now? It's it's up to it's up to our boy here I'll say I can do a hundred yard stare. Okay good, but I don't know how this is gonna how this is gonna go like be going forward Hard one how you hold up because that can't be an easy. I'm good. I'm good. How are you?

What's good you with you, Mocha? Let's uh, well, you know, we can talk about me any day But it seems like maybe that fight didn't sit as well in the good as oh what you mean when I was resting I'm trying to ask if shit went down when you die Okay, I so I so okay, okay, just okay. Yeah, we'll bring it in we'll bring it in yeah, I'm gonna be all more Okay, yes, okay, okay, just okay. Yeah, we'll bring it in we'll bring it in yeah, yeah, no ball nor Okay, okay, okay So I was in an in-between world where I was being called to by my my father my my queen my love and my mother My mother was maybe the perhaps the most disturbing She sounded like she was in trouble the widow the. Where was she? Yeah, where was she?

I don't know. Because it sounded like a place that I want to be. I have felt in my soul a bit of an inkling to involve my unworthy person in her plot. Tell me. I'm just saying, like, she seemed dope. It feels like we kinda had to put her happiness on hold to serve some other purposes,

but I felt a little bit like we'd better make sure we go back and take care of her. Yeah, so I knew I screwed her over, but when I was dead for a little bit, I got a sense that I screwed her over way, way worse than I ever intended to. Okay, I'm just saying remember we talked about maybe going to court at some point. Yeah.

I'm always down. Cool. I think if it's cool with you guys, the next trip is maybe to the worst place we could possibly imagine to. Oh really? We're going to go with high-elf-slip? Oh no, not that bad. Thank you I do a little low five

behind the back We both go for the low five Okay, yeah, I'll start putting together like a Maybe like a Google map with some fun stuff on the way. Oh, yeah, I'll go on. I'll hit up Yelp Shadow fell fun stuff on the way. Oh yeah, I'll go on, I'll hit up Yelp, Shadowfell. Just sort of. Start playing in the road trips when we get there. Okay, cool. Yeah, we'll probably want to have a couple light-hearted stops

on the way. Yeah, I'll load up some bombs. You've got to keep it light, but it's going to be, it's going to be pretty heavy. It's going to be miserable, sure, but we're there for you. We're going to, this is, we can't roll super deep, but we'll roll as deep as we can for you. Papa, how you feel about going somewhere scary

that chills you to the bone? Right here. That is an affirmative from Papa. Okay. How's your brain otherwise? Let's get your mind right. Let's take that one of those walls, huh? Let's try and work on Chislin.

Well, I guess I was just if not to sound like a real loser, but in case I die again without getting to tell you guys, you're both all right. All right, okay. For Rune Shine is weeping. Oh my. Progress. Wow, I just, you know, you know.

I think about going in for the hug. You just say it. But I just give them like a real firm like, clasp on his thigh. Hard one restraints himself from hugging you with every muscle in his body, and I pat you on the head. Actually, I would like to refine it, so I don't think moonshine openly weeps.

I think she's a bit more of a closed book. So I think she's stoically, she does, you know what she does? She does one of those quiet head nods that like you can, you can tell it really affects her, but she's just trying to nod through the feelings. Right. Doing that as well. Christ Comet. Let's go collect wood separately. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We go collect wood separately. You guys collect some more wood And you guys see you guys come together Bev senior walks over to you guys and he goes so

We bought ourselves some time getting rid of these hounds here, but this was probably only the first round with More hounds no, but the chosen are gonna come after us. They want Queen Cerilla Those guys are puppies, okay, oh speaking of which it might be time for the champion of the prick to retrieve the booty. That's probably a good idea. I said disgusting sentence. I just came out of my Gap to mouth sounded so right though, which is the weird thing. I didn't question it. I didn't question it. Boots and you see the bush extends roots as if they're hands and hold out Queen Serilita. I retrieve Seril, I look back and I'm kind of like, this is all fucking full shit. I'm just trying to fucking play along, keep some good ties. And then I turn to the bush and I say, oh, righteous prick.

How did your champion fare? You fought well. Now go spread the religion of the bush. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Never forget what you saw here today. I shall spread the bush. Spread the bush far and wide. The bush shall be spread.

The bush is good. Moonshan, I got an idea. Could you combine your spores with the thorns and make some sort of like thorny mushroom hybrid? Oh great bush! Yes, my champ. Might I am part upon you just a little bit of myself in the former spores? Absolutely. I cover it with spores. You spray the bush.

I'm like, it's like a fire extinguisher of spores. It shouldn't be wet. You see right away, little mushrooms begin to pop up. That is far more palatable. Great. We've done what we need to do here. All right. I sling the queen over my shoulder. And yeah, Bev Senior goes,

so we could go to, we probably should go to Princess Jovier in the autumn court. Absolutely. Yeah, even from just sort of a traveler's perspective, I'm very curious to see the autumn. Yeah, I kind of want to check them all off my list. We kind of have no friends anymore because a lot of this is kind of gone. Some records could put winter court actively trying to kill us.

So autumn court, here's hope, and I actually escorted Queen Serilla there one time for a meeting with her sister. They're, I think deep down, Princess Jovier cares for her sister, but they're not exactly perfect allies, if that makes sense. Got it. Yeah, relationship. You know anything, it might be good to get a little primer, Princess Jovier. Are we talking to someone that's like, should have anything she likes, that if it's like, oh, she really likes high a lie, and we can go in there and be like I also love that sport from

up a year. She uh Queen Cyrilla is more sort of prim and proper and her sisters weirdly for not being the summer court is a bit more fiery looks like you're out bud oh hell yeah. Glad I'm not dead. But the autumn court is one of the quote-unquote lesser courts, not one of the main courts like Winter or Summer. It's my God of Court. They don't have a proper army, so instead to protect the city, there's like some challenges, like a little maze type thing.

I was able to bypass it when I came last time because I was with the queen, but this time, I think we're just kind of going in blind. All right, that's good. We're amazing at puzzles, let's do it. We're amazing at Maze's. We're shit at riddles though. Yeah.

A bell. Oh, sorry. A hot email. A bell. Oh, sorry. A hot email. Alright. Oh my gosh. You know, I've been out of line. You're right. Do you want to pop me?

No, I'm not. I don't pop. You would never pop. Do you deny me? I'm sorry. What? I did it. I did it.

I did it. I'm sorry. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I learned it. I don't know where you learned it. I'm here with my son. I turned and I kind of do a wink at you guys. I hear pop him.

You see, yeah. Ben's dad gets like all like red face. Let's just go. Let's go. Let's get going. Let's do it. Come on, pop. We've got to keep it light.

He summons a steed. Oh yeah, I'll do that. Sweet. I look longingly at moonshine. Oh wait, no, I can't do that. I'm't know We are we are going to we are going to rest soon, right? Daddy, do you guys want to rest now? Oh, can we rest? I mean you guys can certainly well I have I might as well get us there by turning into an elk yeah a pregnant elk Do you guys want to just like travel for like half a day?

Just do some hiking and then take a little break and camp? Yes, absolutely do that. All right, then I turn into a third trimester pregnant elk. That's too much. I'm very meant leaping in the air as you start changing. So I'll say, Bevin Hardwan, right on pregnant elk moonshine. Or rather probably Balnorin Hardwan, right on moonshine. And Bevin is dad right on pregnant Elk moonshine or I'd rather probably balknor in hard one right on moonshine and beven is dad right on this

majestic elk that beves dad calls I inquire if uh if it's like if we should be concerned about being tracked because I'm dribbling a little bit of milk You should be concerned about it just cuz uh, it's a little are you pregnant in as yourself? because it's a little, are you pregnant as yourself? No, just as a no. Right, I see the head. Totally. You see in all of Bev's seniors time as like a green night knowing all of these things about animals and everything, he's like,

that's not how it should work. And yet here you are. So I guess I haven't seen everything. But you guys aren't too concerned about being tracked right now. You know the hounds were like the really good trackers. You guys kind of get the sense that now that the hounds are dead, the force that's coming after you is probably like a more slow moving army. Like the allis hand is kind of less sneaky and more of just like a fist to the face.

Okay. So next time you run into those guys, it'll probably be like bear it bruised in with an army. I see. Great. He's on our list. He's not gonna beat me in this elk. Ha ha ha.

So you guys travel for the better part of a day. Beautiful autumn leaves, these tall trees. And it stays sunset the whole time because you guys are in the autumn territory. You guys go for a bunch of miles and then you can set up camp for the day if you guys would like to take a rest. Yeah.

Absolutely. I'd love to. You guys find a nice little spot near a stream, little babbling brook. Yeah. Ooh, this is scenic. I did my toesies. Ooh, it feels just right.

Oh yeah. I will cleanse my newly alive body, feel invigorated with this water. Hard one, you now have where you were killed, you have this deep scar across your chest. Fuck yeah. I give a water berth. My god.

What happens to the baby? It's a good thing. It's a big chunky nanofly. She must have swallowed it. The elk gives birth to a nanofly. None of this makes sense. You can't give birth. You're not. I wild-shade back. I'm so confused. Is it still there when you wild-shade back? Munchan, it's beautiful. What do you get to call it? I hand it to Beverly. Drought it in the river.

Never speak this. I come back an hour later with a steak. Dinner time. It's protein rich. Cool. I guess the cycle begins anew. Somehow you'll be one month pregnant next time you I do like so you guys taking a little rest with night. Oh, yeah, it's really cool. You guys all good bad Let's make one big hammock this time. That sounds nice

I'm so cute. Can we find like a really big leaf a really big sturdy leaf? Oh my goodness Yeah, wait with my last spell of the day. I'll cast plant growth. Oh Yeah, you make some beautiful leaf beds. I'll say you guys can have like bunk beds and a tree essentially. Yeah. Yeah. Why have bunk beds when I can also even one?

There you go. One big leaf. One big leaf. One big leaf. One big leaf. You guys all go to sleep, get in your six to eight hours and wake up the next day feeling refreshed. Hard one, during the night, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. Okay.

Or I guess it's not technically night, but while you're sleeping, give me a wisdom saving throw. 15. You don't dream. I would say hard one, generally, is probably a guy who probably thinks a lot about the past and everything has both good and bad dreams and you wake up the next day feeling a bit strange, but with a passing your wisdom saving throw is that you just don't

dream. Cool. I feel empty today. I feel you. I'm waking dinner. I mean, breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast.

We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast.

We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. We're having dinner for breakfast. just have a quick sip of the flask. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz of Crickwater because the wine, it seemed like it was right in the moment, but I regret it and I missed the Crickwater. Let me see if I have drizzly on my speaking screen. I tried to distract hard one with some morning squats. We have to squat the sun. I'm instantly distracted. You guys do a little workout. You guys get your squats in the morning. Good. I'm got your squats in. Squat, that's right.

I'll do a lot of squatting. I look over my shoulder at my own dairy air and I'm like, you're looking good, you don't need any help. And then I spent a little time with Ulfgar Goes Punch. Oh nice, go ahead and make an intelligence check. With advantage, because you've already read this book. You're doing that little kid thing where like you've read it and you're so you're like kind of memorizing the words.

Shout out to the two group and I'm going with a 15. 15. Moonshine, you successfully read the book and you're able to get like some of the like the subtle themes behind it. Like it's really about working hard. So many layers that you just keep peeling back. Is she ready for one of my scrolls? She could probably read a graphics scroll maybe. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna with my finger begin to explore a graphics scroll. All right, just unfold it a little bit. I'm gonna say no advantages intelligence check. 13.

13, you start to be able to read it. It is issue one, so it's about off-guard, theala, and Alonus meeting at a tavern, but you get a little distracted by the pictures and it's tough to kind of completely follow the story, but you're able to like get a little you know that off-garts from Iron Deep and he's like leaving the town to make it off on his own.

The artist here on this brushstrokes though and the hatching that the artist employs. I, your date. Cool. Uh, Bev Sr. goes over to you guys. So, uh, you guys want to get going to the Autumn Court? I swing the queen over my shoulder. We could make like a palanquin or something for her. You don't have to just toss her. I'm good. Okay.

Keep an eye on her. She's kind of what's, uh, keeping the Feywild not in complete chaos. Yeah. Kind of like the bad guys get a hold of her. We're doomed. She's drooling a little bit up there. Oh. I wiped it with my beard.

Hey dad, I'm sorry I said you popped me. That was a bad joke. Oh, yeah, it's all right. You know, Goofs are, I'm getting used to Goofs now that I'm in the Feywild. There you go. Maybe we can teach you one or two. Ah, you know He just nods and looks off like to change the subject

Yeah, goofs I think about getting to pull my finger and then I'm like not yet not there yet so you guys get on your mounts and You begin traveling keeping the sunset to your right so that you can head to south. And you see that the trees begin to come together to form a path. The forest slowly transitions from being this natural area

with trees kind of growing every which way, like a normal forest, and then there becomes a clear path between the trees. You're now on this tree lined path. You see that the branches and the leaves begin to get so thick that you can't see through them. You're on this kind of unnatural path. Oh, we're getting mazed.

Yeah, so now it's like you're in a hedge maze but with like full, very tall trees. Getting out the crumbs. So you guys walk straight along this path until suddenly roots from the trees in front of you begin spreading out, leaves begin rapidly growing and a wall of trees and thick brush blocks the path ahead of you. At the same time some of the trees to the left have withered and disappeared into the ground.

The path is now leading you left. Only left. Only left. You can either go backwards or continue kind of the way it is laid out for you. Can I see if I can climb the trees to peer over them? Sure. Go ahead and make an athletics check. All right, guys. the trees to peer over them? Sure, go ahead and make an athletics check.

All right guys, let me know if I start getting tiny. 13. 13. You very unimpressively begin climbing this tree. You shouldn't have done it with a queen on my back. Yeah, you've started going up with her. You eventually have to hand her over to Balnor. You start climbing one of these trees. As you climb, you guys watch from the outside

and you see it too hard one. You see the trees around you guys begin to shoot up and grow with hard one as to block his vision. Oh, great. So that's not gonna happen. I think this is the trick. I think these are the challenges. I guess I'm wondering if this is more, if this is something that we need to overcome, if specifically, or if this is just

to obscure the autumn court from being seen by outsiders. That's an interesting solution. Because I do have, I have two plant related spells, because I knew we were coming here. Once again, stock speak with plants. Should we just take a hit and go left, or do you want to ask the plants? Yeah, let's wait until we're really in a bind

to talk to the plants. Sweet, left it is. Sweet, so you guys walk straight up to where the path is blocked and you follow it left. And as you round the corner, you see that there is a large evergreen tree in the distance. It's about 150 feet away. A straight shot down this natural hallway. Ooh, is it like in a clearing? It's like, you're in basically like, I keep calling it a hedge maze, but they're like trees.

It's like this straight path forward, you see an evergreen tree like down this natural hallway. 150 feet. That just sounds beautiful, I'm gonna go up to it. Yeah, cool. So as you guys start to walk, Moonshine suddenly this natural hallway. 150 feet. That just sounds beautiful. I'm going to go up to it. Yeah. Cool. So as you guys start to walk, Moonshine suddenly as your foot touches the leaves on the ground

in front of you, they give way. I'll say that like bow nor or like bev senior, like kind of grab you and pull you back. You see that all of the red, orange, brown, yellow leaves on the ground that were like lining the ground fall almost like a pit trap and there's now this long 150 foot pit between you and this evergreen tree in the distance and in the pit you can see that there are thick roots like far below. Are all the trees around us non-evergreens? are thick roots like far below. Are all the trees around us non-evergreens? Correct. Okay, they're like a sycamore or something.

Correct. Okay. Hmm, I like your pit. Should we throw stuff in the pit? Let's dim, I'm gonna flick a bean across. You flick a bean across. Yeah, you want to them dry like a post. Just like into the pit.

You got it. You just see if it bursts into the leaves. Or if it's like a post? Just like into the pit. You got it. You just see if it bursts into flames. Or if it's like a glass top. You flick a bean. You flick the bean over this pit. And you see like a tentacle monster. The roots from this tree, from the bottom of the pit,

shoot up and smack the bean away. Now that's how you flick a bean. That's how you flick the bean. Yes, how you flick bean. So it seems like maybe if we climbed along the side we might get our beans flicked. Yeah, we might get our beans flicked. Yeah, we might, Bev Senior has no idea that you're making a joke. Yeah, with the bean got flicked and we might get flicked too. Yeah, no, you're down.

Right, we're cracking up. What's funny? Does anyone wonder if I should just try to blight this root? Do it forth level, blight us? I mean, it's gonna try and blight us, so you might as well. Like, can we just try to attack this bitch? It seems good. We just light a match in toss it in there.

We light a match in toss it in. You light a match. Can we say that it's from the Blue Man in? We have like a match book from the Blue Man in. Who does that? Oh boy. I think that it's from the Blue Man in. We have a matchbook from the Blue Man in. Who does that? Oh boy. Paul, I'll do it.

I said I'm gonna do it first. Oh, good. I said I was gonna do it first. Okay, you throw the match in. You look deep down below and you see the root react to it. Like it almost like winces. There's like a reaction. It, it, it, it, it moves back. It comes up and it whips at you, there's like a reaction. It, it, it, be nice.

Moose back. It comes up and it whips at you. Can I prepare a rear? Oh, okay. It hits. Okay. For 16 damage. Okay.

And fuck it. I'm mad now. I'm not thinking strategically. I'm doing a fourth level blight on this. Okay. Do it. Or is it that? If this is a plant creature, it makes the saving throw

with disadvantage. Okay. What, what kind of saving throw is it that? If this is a plant creature, it makes the saving throw with disadvantage. Okay. What kind of saving throw is it making? Constitution saving throw. Okay. I got a 12. It does not pass. You see as you cast a blade on it,

Bev Seeners just looking at it like, oh, maybe there's some kind of trick to it. Oh, we're fighting it. That's it. Hahaha. 31. 31 damage. As you cast blight on this tree, you see it, it recoils a little bit. You see some of the roots start to bend back a bit. Should I follow up? I don't know, guys. That was kind of like I was, I don't know that. Yeah, I don't know if we need to kill the roots.

I think we proved our point by, we fucked with it. It fucked with us. We said enough fuckery. We puffed our chest bigger. Yeah. The dick measuring contest is over. Our penises are slightly larger. Two inches.

Okay. Should we try and cross now? How do we feel about that? This is, there's a puzzle here. I want to, yeah, I want to try and cast nature's wrath and make a green pathway. Okay, I can only make it like 10 feet long though is the problem.

Got it. A lot of my thorn whip to it. Yeah. Sweet. Maybe we could like, we could like ride it across somehow. I don't know. Go ahead and make, and I'll say that's not exactly how nature's wrath works. So why don't you go ahead and make like an arcana check.

We'll see how well it works. And roll with advantage because moonshine's helping you by doing like a thorn whip. Arcana. Mm-hmm. It would be interesting if we made like sort of like a canoe out of the nature, like a canoe platform out of the nature's wrath And then we could pull ourselves along the side with my thorn whip because we can pull ten feet

So we just keep pulling it. It is true that like the leaves were suspended on top So hopefully we would be suspended as well. I got a 12 though a 12. Okay. You do see that when you do the nature's wrath almost like there is an invisible floor some vines and green grass up here like maybe five feet out from where you guys stood Okay, um, and you see the vines underneath are trying to get up and whip at you and in that exact area, they can't get up. So okay, maybe we do try to stand on that platform and just keep whipping to pull ourselves

across. Can I grab that platform with my mage hand and see if I can pull it and manipulate it in any way? If we're on it, you're not going to be able to manipulate it because it's maximum 10 pounds. No, I just want to see if it's movable or if it's fixed in the kitchen. Yeah, I'll say you use your Maychan.

And you are able to move a vine. You see that as you move it, it becomes less stable, but it all stays on this invisible platform. It would appear that greenery stays. Okay. So we just need to find some green shit. Yeah, but the green stuff's all the way over there.

Can you minor illusion? Minor illusion, my hand to be green. Should we minor illusion like a rock or something that isn't for your flesh and blood? No, okay. No, okay. No, okay. No, okay.

No, okay. The red leaves to be green, couldn't we? Yes, we could. Let's try that first. Cool. So you minor illusion and you turn a few of these red and yellow leaves like from one of the trees on the side that's like making up the maze.

And as you go to put them through, they still fall down. They fall down to the vines below. All right. So, since it's the... Mochaine, it is. The, turn our girl green.

I think it senses the inauthenticity of the green. All right, we got any like palm fronds around here that we could sort of surf across. I shake the queen really lightly. She stays a straight line. I think we'll be able to sleep again. Should I just burn a plant growth and just light this bad boy up

with a whole pathway for us? Yes. Okay. I crack my nucks and I ask Polore to do me a freaking solid and I try to create like a green carpet. Sweet, using plant growth. Oh, I cannot wait to strut down this thing. Oh, Laura, I hope it's safe because Pop all wants to get in on it.

So you've already got this. You've already got this nature's wrath up there. I'll say Beverly glows with this white light as he connects with Polar. You see flowers begin to spring up in this vine path that you've already made, and then green grass springs out from it and makes a grass path all the way to this evergreen tree. All right. I will. Yeah, I was going to... Okay, you can touch my toe on it. Touch your toe on it. Feels like solid ground. Let's throw. Let's strut. Yeah. I'm gonna. I have an action ready to like save hardwan if he like

steps on it. Okay. I strut this catwalk. Shoulders back head held high, hips shaking side to side, towards the tree. Hard one makeup performance check with advantage. Uh huh. First one was not one. Oh no! Advantage, advantage! I was gonna see what my performance is.

It's probably just your Christmas, I doubt your proficient 11. 11? Mm hmm. You start to strut with confidence and then you get like a little shiver remembering shadow fell I know this is fun. Oh, I hear my mother's voice You just wimp her a little bit and everyone's like what was he thinking about death again? I'm good. I'm good I'm a going through I'm going through

Paw paws figure skating costumes deciding which one to send him out on. I put on like a fleece pullover, like a boy in a lands-in catalog, so I just do like some modeling in that way. Beverly works the catwalk. It's all about Paw Paw. I'm like his handler, like Paw Paw. I found a really good figure skating costume from when he did the nutcracker You got a clipboard in a contact He has you. He has you holding a hula hoop so he can jump through it like a show dog Can you have to give him little treats as he go? You give pop-up little treats as he jumps through the hoops, you get all the way across. And Boundor.

And Bev's Dad, everybody makes it across and you guys are under this big evergreen tree. Beautiful. I love it. I start carving into it. Don't. As you go to carving to it. Moonshot and hard one and Beverly. Moonshot and suddenly it withers and dies.

What? I'm so sorry, I fall to my knees, I'm so sorry. You see. That's why I said don't. You see all the leaves from it fall. And you got to see the thick trees around it that were creating this maze. You see them also start withering.

Okay. Then begin retracting into the earth. They're like disappearing. They turn from healthy trees to dead trees, then devolve into roots until they're completely drawn back. A thick fog sets in. You can't even see your hand in front of you. This is very Halloweeny. Oh man. I knew you shouldn't have learned how to read. Finally, the fog clears enough so that it's just a low fog hanging near the ground. And you see that it is now nighttime.

It's not sunset. It's dark out. You see the stars in the sky. One of those like English misty mowers. And you guys have this low fog, it's nighttime. There's this big dead tree still there, but the other trees have pulled back to create a clearing. You are now in a small graveyard with this tree in the center, and you see near you are four graves with big gray headstones poking out of the ground. There is a long torch planted in the ground next to them. The moonlight is dim, so the brightness of the torch draws your eyes to it.

Until you see in the distance, the trees part, the leaves naturally pull back and make way for a headless horseman. Oh great, more death. He wears black plate and rides a black stallion who you can see is undead. Some of its skin is peeling away and revealing its skeleton. I turn it into a dolphin. The rider wields a huge flaming great sword in one hand

and holds the reins with the others, then it begins charging towards you. What's the pumpkin head situation? No pumpkin head, everybody roll initiative. Oh, dibs on the horse. Haha. 19. Seven?

Seven? 16. That is the horseman's turn. You guys see the horseman rides forward with his big flaming sword and is going to try to take Guys go ahead and roll and we'll see who rolls the lowest and that's who's head. He'll try to take off Shout out to the two crew. Okay, it's gonna come out and take a swing at Bev with his big great sword You see this dude is fucking enormous.

He normally a great sword is a two handed weapon. He's got it in one hand. And he's gonna take a swing at Bev. That is actually a miss. Shout out to the two crew. What he makes a second attack and he super hits. And I'm just decapitated. You're dead, yeah.

No. How does it feel? I go hang out with Harbont's mom. 19 damage. Takes a second attack or third attack rather and hits for another 16 damage. That is moonshine's turn. All right, y'all, going through fourth-level spells.

I would like to cast Confusion on his horse. Cool. Actually, each creature in a 10-foot radius sphere centered on a point must make a wisdom saving throw, so him and his horse. Okay. He fails, but he is going to use his legendary resistance and pass instead. Oh, so I just fucking wasted a fourth of the spell. Okay, so at the end of Moon Shine's turn, it is going to take a legendary action, uh,

crits on an attack against Bev. Hmm. I guess I am brightly adorned, Probably standing out in this dire, 33 damage. Oh, hey. That is hard one's turn. I'm gonna go and inspect the gravestones. Sweet, hard one, you run over to the graves and go ahead and make a perception check.

I'll see how much you can read in like the couple seconds that of your turn. You can't read shit, dude. You run over there? Wait, I should have just not done that. No, that's not true. You can't read shit, dude. You run over there? Wait, I should have just not done that. No, that's not true. You were able to read a little bit. I go ahead and make an intelligence check.

Ah. Yeah, I read off-guard goes hunch to you. So proud of you. Yeah, I'll say moonshine can definitely read headstones. Hard one could maybe read a headstone. Everybody wants to do a charcoal rubbing on it. I did get a 21. A 21.

Ooh, hard one. I'll say that you straight up are able to read these headstones, but I'll say, just a good, good. You read the first two. Okay. You read these two headstones. The one headstone reads Jackson Crow. That's the dude's name that's buried here.

It says 700 to 774, like those are the years. Okay. The one next to it says Elizabeth Crow, 702 to 785. There are two more gravestones, but you're really quick reading this, you have to concentrate because you don't totally know how to read.

That is Bev's turn. Okay, I use my action surge now. Would you like to use your action surge to look at the other graves? I'll use my action surge to read. Okay, great. You see another one that says Jonathan Crow, 725 to 750. And then the last one says Priscilla Crow, 730 to 738. You lost your children.

I've been shouting all of this to the other guys. Unmoving, just trying to take Beverly's head off. Cool. Don't tell anyone I knew how to read. That is the end of Hard One's turn. This thing is going to take another legendary action. Take a swing at Bev. Actually misses Bev. That is Bev's turn.

Okay. Hmm, I'm gonna die our way as far as health is concerned. I'm gonna go ahead and look at my amulet. Okay, great. That's a bonus action, right? Yep. So you can settle those hit points after. Great. So we got four gravestones. We have one rampaging beast. Is there anything else in the vicinity? Nope, you guys are just in a clearing in this like little spooky graveyard. Okay, um, all I know is that the mom was the longest lived.

Yep, the mom lived the longest. They lost the children. I shout at the the headless horseman. Do you have any paper I can borrow? I'm swinging at your head. Should I try to attack? I don't know if I have time to think about math. Go ahead and make an insight check. Okay, great, great. Okay, what's my insight? 19. Okay, this dude is not even just attacking you blindly he wants your head like you see him he is swinging for the fucking fences okay um I'm gonna this is a weird risk even over actually

I'm gonna check with you I might have the same exact one that you have I was thinking about minor illusion in a head. What were you thinking about doing? Okay, I had a different thing. Okay, okay. Let's see how yours goes. See how it plays? Okay.

See how it plays in the room? I minor illusion ahead, but it's facing the other way. Like I'm holding it so that you can just see the back of the head. And I make it look like a little girl's hair. Oh, okay. So I had to guess obviously on the front stuff. Sure, but I feel like if I get the back, maybe it's like a watermelon with a wig. Go ahead and make a deception check. Okay.

19. 19. Okay, I will say that this does not say it. This creature's bloodlust for a head, but he does grab at it. And in that moment, if you'd like to take a disengage, he is essentially like wasted a legendary action trying to take this head from you. Uh, disengage, or can I attack? You can attack too. I'll attack. Okay, go for it.

Uh, does a 27 hit. Sure does. Cool. Um, I'm going gonna smite this buddy cool because they do seem like they are comprised of fel Energy's It's 30 damage on my first attack sweet. He looks fine I'm gonna reroll that one That's another 27 to hit sweet. I'm just gonna do a normal attack this time. I don't know what's coming next. I don't wanna save some slots. That's gonna be 15 more damage. 15 more damage. You see you're

slashing into this thing and even with like the radiant damage everything, you're just, it feels like you're just hitting a machine. Like you're just like, you're just like punching a metal wall with your fist. Okay. That is Bev Senior's turn. I'm going to say Bev Senior is going to dive forward and tackle Beverly so that he's not going to get his head chopped off. Ballnor then stands, he's going to prepare a reaction, stands in front of Bev and his dad. That is the horseman's turn. he goes forward with with trampling hooves Fucking crits Dear me bow no you guys see bow nor bravely tries to stand in front of the other halflings. Don't worry. I'll buy you time Instantly gets hit for 24 damage it gets knocked prone

Okay, and then this horseman goes forward and continues trying to take Beves head off misses on his swing though. Actually gets two more. Takes another swing. Misses on another one. Takes his third swing. Hits on that one. 15 damage. On Beve. You're down? No, no, no, to me, to you. To Beve. Boundwork got knocked down by the horse trampled through he just smells blood Um, that is munchass turn. Okay hard one. I am so so sorry But I'm just trying to save Bev and I grab glads head from his possession from is a bell and I give it to the

Horseman that's the only thing that matters to me go ahead is a bell and I give it to the horseman. That's the only thing that matters to me. Go ahead. I present it to the horseman. Go ahead and make a persuasion check. 13. I will say that you present this head to him and once again, this will eliminate

some of his legendary actions, but this ain't what he's looking for. But he is happy to have collected ahead. He takes Galad's head and he begins the process of light. It didn't save us at all. It saves you from... It was the least of a good head. I'm so sorry, everyone.

It saves you from potentially getting killed. It buys you some time. You see that he's attacking fucking fucking lightning fast, he's got three legendary actions per round, he's attacking three times per round, he basically can't get hurt, he takes a beat to tie galads like hair to his saddle. That is- Okay well I can still use a bonus action and I'm gonna bonus action, healing word bev. Oh that'd be great. Third level. It's only D4 though, so.

Give me the healies. I want to ride on my healies. It's only for 11. Okay, hard one that is your turn. Hard one you are over by these graves to be clear again. It's Jackson Crowe who looks like lived to be 74 years old. Elizabeth Crowe who lived to be 83. Jonathan Crowe who lived to be 74 years old. Elizabeth Crowe, who lived to be 83. Jonathan Crowe, who lived to be 25 and Priscilla Crowe, who died when she was eight.

Can I plunge my hand into the earth and see if I can rip out one of the- Which grave? I'll do daddy Crowe. Daddy Crowe. Big daddy Crowe. Hard one, go ahead and give me like an athletics check as you like scrape at the ground.

I'll say you've got like picks and stuff, so you start digging at this grave. I'm a minor, but I didn't. You do? Oh, you know what, I'll use a luck point. Okay. 15. You use your pick.

You very quickly begin to hit a casket. There's a casket there. That is Bev's turn. I'm going to make it look like I have my head on my belly, and I'm going to put a fake head on top, like little kids do for Halloween costumes. Okay. And do you have a minor illusion?

Yeah, I can do it as many times. It's an action, but I can do it as many times as I want. Okay. And I'm going to be like, come and get it. And then I'm going to leave it. Don't provoke him, you might get killed. I'm going to lead him away from hard one. Okay, I'm already away from him though. Yeah, I'm going to keep him distracted. Okay, I'll go ahead and make a persuasion check. Falf, what are you doing? What did I tell you about Goof? Is everyone happening to your uncle,

Ronald? We're way past Ronald now. Goofs will save us. You know that you can't be revivified as a regrow limbs. I did not know that actually. That is new information. That's going to be a performance or persuasion. Either one. Okay, with persuasion is the 27. Okay. He really wants to get your head.

That's, I'm gonna say, Bev Sr. on his turn. He'll charge forward and just start taking some swings. He hits on the first attack. He does 17 damage. Misses on the second attack. He's getting emotional. He's like a dang machine. That is Balnor's turn.

Balnor is gonna get up from prone. And all the halflings are just like hanging on this dude. I'll say, Balnor, you know what, he'll do an athletics check to try to just grab his arm and like stop a legendary action or something. He gets pushed off by this horseman, who is gonna take one legendary action this turn at the end of Balnor's turn,

takes a swing at Bev and hits. You see him do 17 damage to Beverly. Okay. That is back around to theanar's turn, takes a swing, add Bev and hits. You see him do 17 damage to Beverly. Okay. That is back around to the horseman's turn. Horseman takes three attacks on Bev. Hits for 14 damage, second attack, misses, third attack hits for 16 damage. I'm down. for 16 damage. I'm down. That is moonshine's turn. Okay, I guess I go over and I heal Bev. Okay.

And then stand in front of his body. Okay. I'll heal Bev for, I guess, just, I'll just bring you back up because you're not gonna take anything. No. So nine. Nine.

Okay, so Bev, sorry about that. You come back out of unconsciousness. This horseman is swinging down, trying to hit you, Munchine jumps in the way as it takes a legendary action and hits Munchine for 16 damage. Sure. Then that is,

Oh, and I, there's no point in sporesing him. We have to solve this riddle, right? That is hard one's turn. I'm gonna just keep on digging up this casket. Okay, you found like what? You found like what? Yeah, yeah. Go for the sun instead, Jonathan Crow, maybe.

Which, yeah, which, you are digging up the, the, the, like 70 something year old father right now. Okay, I guess I'll go for the boy. Go ahead and make an athletics check as you like furiously dig into the ground. 30? 30.

Or no, 28. 28. Hard one. You start digging in with the pickaxe here. The ground here is softer than the ground around the father. You start digging in deep, and you get to this casket quite quickly. I can I punch my hand through and see if I can grab

this fucker's head. You punch your hand through. Go ahead and make a perception check with disadvantage. Well, I have to use that too. Four. You don't feel anything. Oh, at the end of your turn, the horseman takes a legendary action,

swings at moonshine who's still protecting Bev. Does 14 damage? Cool. That is. I feel fun. Bev's turn. I'm make sure that he knows it. Okay.

Do you need knee healing? Can I touch hands you? Okay, I'm going to... I'm good, I say scramble away and go start digging up my hands. Yeah, I was gonna misty step over to a grave. Yeah, how far is the casket? Should I misty step or can I just run? You can do either one.

You have Yippee Skippy boots, you can run 50 feet. Okay, yeah. And I'm in the way, right, so the guy wouldn't get. The guy, yes, you are protecting beverage. Skip, skip, colloucule, I'm getting in there to save the day. I'm gonna just like launch in and also kind of mess up the top of this casket. Okay, great.

Go ahead and make, I guess you can either make an attack like with your sword or you can make an athletics check. I'm kind of mad at this guy. We should hop potato with this head. Yeah, for sure. That's going to be a 21. 21, go ahead and do your damage. Great. To the... Okay. It's going to be 13 damage to the casket. Sweet. Okay. So you see,

hard one has already punched through this casket. Would you say the casket is on Death Stor? The casket is on Death Stor. Hard one has already damaged the integrity of it. You see hard ones hand is like bleeding But Bev breaks through it and you see amongst the wood in the debris is a skull, but nobody That is oh so this little headless horseman is the little son He's 25 years old. He's not yeah, okay little son. He's a little boy He's old, he's not. Yeah, I can. Little son. He's a little boy.

The baby boy. Compared to the father, he's little. Comparatively. In context, he's a little baby. I think it's gotta be the contestually little. So this dude takes another legendary action. No, come on. Hits Moonshot for 19.

Puppedic. That is, I say that right, I'll lead to him. Bev, senior's turn. Bev's senior is just in a flurry trying to like grab this student stop him. Is unable to, Balnor tries to do the same thing. Gets pushed off. That is, back around to the horseman's turn. Horseman takes three attacks.

Misses on the first attack. Misses on the second attack. Ha ha. Hits on the third attack against the movie the second attack, hits on the third attack against Moonshine. Hey, now come on. For 17 damage. Hey, nothing.

That is a great Moonshine start. Can I kick his horse's knees? You can go ahead and kick a horse. Can I kick the front two knees of the horse so that he then slides off onto Rosalene? You can try. Should I don't that just begin with? Yeah, I'm gonna try and kick out the horse's knees.

Let's go home, but hold out Rosalene so that if I kick them out, that he slides onto Rosalene's face. So go ahead and make it more converse. We'll say, oppose athletics check. Okay. What'd you get? 19.

I got 12. Okay. It's the horse kicks you back. Just like kicks you in your face Then he'll take a legendary action swing at you. He misses not one. Okay. He does almost fall off A face hard one. That's your turn. Hey, I'll trade your skulls And I raise the I raise a skull over my head You raise a skull over your head. You raise the skull over your head.

You see the horseman turns to you. I start mouthing the skeleton. Hi! Oh, I'm your head, not this new body. It begins charging at you. Oh boy, sword out. Are there any, are there any like pits of fire nearby? It'd be cool to like throw it into a pit of fire

and then maybe he follows it into the pit of fire. Can I do a perception for pits of fire? Hold on, I feel like I pitty. I got a net one, I'm so near on the pit. You could be honest something though. And some more like killing the head of a headless horseman is what destroys them. Yeah. Maybe we should give that a shot. Oh, I meant like to lure him into the head of a headless horseman is what destroys them.

Yeah, maybe we should give that a shot. Oh, I meant like to lure him into the pit. You guys just said, right now, this guy's coming over to you. Are you destroying the head? Are you waiting for him? Just right. I think we wait. You're next to me.

You're on deck if we need, we can't undestroy the head. Let's t-ball practice this baby. Hold that up for me. I'm gonna whack it. So I think we should all, I think we should all. It is your turn. Hard one. You make the decision. Okay. I'm gonna offer him the head. Let's T ball practice this baby. Hold that up for me. I'm gonna whack it. So I think we should all I think it is your turn hard one. You make the decision. Okay, I'm gonna offer him this call. Okay, offer him this call. He charges at you hard one. You see he's got the sword at the ready. He gets near you and then he stops and the horse kind of nays sniffs the head. He snatches it out of your hands. He's your welcome. You see he places it atop his shoulders.

You see his armor dents in beams of light shoot out of him. There is a bright flash as he and his horse begin to disintegrate. I quickly untie Glatzhead from his belt. You quickly save Glatzhead. Oh, good. I was stressing about that.

I was like, oh, what did I do? And then this guy plops over a complete skeleton. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult! Luckily, Bird

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promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. I'm glad we did my plan. I kick his bones into his gasket. Yeah, I steal one of his bones just to keep him unfinished. I feel like a stupid bone, like a shin bone or something.

Tibby, Tibula. Yeah, a wishbone. He starts to come back to life as soon as you steal something from him. Okay, I put it back. You put it back. Cool. We solved the puzzle and from him does. Okay, I put it back. You put it back. Cool, we solved the puzzle and it was great. Hey, well, what happens? Do we see like a clearing that we can walk through?

Yeah, so you guys. I am very fucked up, so I guess I'll look at Bebs' amulet. Please do. Please enjoy. You kept on saying it was nothing. I know, I put it on the fucking show. Explain, bring it on, come on. I know, I was putting on a fucking show for the headless horseman

I know honestly I got down to 12 hit points. Oh, I know what's up She goes all the time you guys have this full skeleton now. You see the dads Take the skeleton put it back in its casket Close the casket put the dirt back over and bury it And then you guys see the fog clears. You see the mist vacates, the color returns to the land. It is sunrise again. The trees return to their autumnal colors.

The graves disappear and the large dead tree regrosits leaves. Though it's no longer evergreen, it now looks like the other trees. It looks like red and orange and yellow and brown. You guys see the trees ahead that had previously been creating a wall around this graveyard. Open up and invite you to pass through.

Let's walk it. Beautiful leaves though, right? The foliage, just great. Leaf fever. It's really nice. So as you, right? The foliage is just great. The leaf even. It's really nice. As you guys continue to travel through the maze, you begin to see smoke rising in the distance. Eventually you arrive at a little witches hut.

The natural corridor widens to make room for it. It almost looks like a cold assack. There's a circle around it, but there's a dead end. The hut appears to be made of stone, but it's got a thatched roof and a little chimney blowing smoke up. Is it propped up on chicken legs, chicken feet? No. Okay. Yo, it's not the Bobbyaga.

You got a chick. Bound or come out, it's not the Bobbyaga. All right. It comes out from the trees. He was like sucked in Harry Potter style. Well, wow, I thought I was dead for a second. So not the Bobbyaga, not made of candy. Oh, should we, let's sneak up to it? Just push it over, I'm saying it is.

Wait, should we knock the door? But I'm gonna chill touch and knock on the door. Okay. Oh, knock on a window pane to make it all icy. Well, I was thinking I would knock on the door, but I'm gonna chill touch and knock on the door. Okay. Oh, knock on a window pane to make it all icy. Well, I was thinking I would knock on the door. So, okay, let's all stealth. We're gonna hide. I'll do a pass without trace.

Okay, great. We all hide. I'll light a flaming bag of dog shit. Ha, ha, ha. And I'm gonna get a, I'm gonna get a Joho's witness pamphlets. Sweet. Very good. And then from 120 feet away, I'm gonna chill touch

and knock on the door. We're gonna ding dong witch. You're gonna ding dong witch. Moonshan, you do chill touch, you knock on the door. You see this old hunchbacked hag with a black robe opens the door and you guys just aren't there We're not there. She just closes the door and goes back inside Hurry get it out. I've got the bag right below your butt. Give me the matches. Give me the blue money matches

This isn't enough poop, you have to poop more. A hard one is constipated. You're eating this muffin! I haven't shit since I died. We'll unpack that later. Right now unpack your rest. Well, we see the witch's face or is it concealed by the robe? It was mostly concealed by the robe, but you see she's got like a long nose. It's very fairy tale witch.

Does that? Anyone wonder if maybe I'll get along with her because I'm also kind of a witch? I feel like I'm kind of the ideal candidate to be eaten by her, so maybe we could use me as bait. Yeah, get over here. I'm going to use some of that rouge I put on hard one when he pretended to be the chosen. It's time for you real Rubicon. Operation Tasty Lact.

Yeah, that's true. I'm also gonna, I'm gonna take some like crawfish grease. You know how when you cook a crawfish, it leaves a bunch of grease and you save it to cook with later. Take a button, I'm gonna rub you up. Can I have a spurs? A spurs of your overalls? Absolutely.

Okay. Okay, you start increasing Bevac he greased bevac I guess I distract mr. Togo Trust me Goofs are good and then I just put an apple in his mouth and send him on his way Okay, you're just going to buy yourself. Oh, well. I'm gonna stealth stealth. I'm going to stealth there. OK, let's a good idea. Cool. I'm going to go inside and say, I'm awful hungry.

I think she's not going to door. OK, I knock on the door. OK, you knock on the door. You see this witch opens the door. She's got like a bony appendages. She's got all this wrinkled skin. She's wearing this dark robe. And as well as we're making a lot of assumptions about beaches right now.

Yeah, this is straight up very fairy tale. And she looks at you, Bev, and she goes, Oh, are you trying to get to the autumn court? Actually, yes, ma'am. We're trying to find the way. Could you lead us there? Yeah, well, let's play a little game. Oh, a game, I love games. She even pocks inside. Can I try and stealth inside? Sure.

I want to do an insight check to see what the where there's original situation is in her robe. Sure. Not 20. There it comes. Only I think it's late 10. Not 10. Oh my god, this is a good not 20 in a while.

Yeah. Babies, you enter and you are hit with the smell of something sweet, but you can't tell if it's real or if it's some kind of illusion. You see she's got a little fire going, shelves of various trinkets and potions and in the middle of the room is a big cauldron with some kind of boiling liquid inside.

So the item quartz in your house, huh? No, I said we were gonna play a game, why is that? Ha, ha, ha, you remind me of Nanakine leaves. Yeah. Why don't you tell your friends to come out? What friends? Hard one has just finished shitting in the bag. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,ine. That's the only person I'm here with. All right. I'm going to 12 year old. You two are the only one. So Moonshine, you come out.

You two are the only ones playing. You're the only ones that need to go to the autumn court. Then let's play a game. Just us three. Well, you know, we've got some other companions who want to go to the autumn court court But I don't understand why a game between just a couple of us could Grant us passage. Can you tell us more about the game? Sure, okay Each of us will draw blood Put it in this cauldron We are not playing this game. You do not give a witch your blood Do you accept the challenge of the autumn courts or do you want to go home?

I'm gonna walk I'm gonna walk to the door with Belnorin That yeah, feel pretty calm because This seems like and I'm more friends. Well, I'm kneeling down to like the back on fire with Belnorin What are you doing fine fine to glue man and Matches the life I think I'll win the bag. We'll do it. We'll do it your way. Oh smells like a cat turd So y'all want to do this y'all want to kick the shit into the clearing blood Hey, beb the fourths. What do you,

what do you say about this, which I, well I don't like witchcraft one bit, but there are strange challenges that lie and wait. We can try to get through another way. I pick at this, the gaping scab on my chest. Ha ha ha.

See if my mortal root will shed a little bit. Do you wanna know what the game is for. Tell us about the game. I just read this book and I never gave a witch. That's very smart. But as you can see in this maze, not everything is as it seems. Okay. So we'll all cut ourselves with a snife.

See she pulls out a dagger, so this crooked dagger will pour our blood into this cauldron. Then you will all drink from it and I will possess one of you. You may all ask one question to try to figure out who is possessed. Okay, now this sounds fun.

Yeah, I told you it was a game. I get out the Elven wine and I pass it around. All right. So after you ask your question, anyone may reach for the dagger and try to kill the witch. If you guess correctly, you'll kill me and the path to the autumn court will open. If you attack one of your allies, I get to keep the body that I possessed.

Is it a deal? This doesn't follow me more. Yeah, this is like the point of the sleepover when someone suggests everyone goes outside and tries to jump off the roof. Yeah. Come on, guys. What's the world break, our ankles?

Is this, is this like your job? Is this like a hobby for you? What do you do on the weekdays? What do you get out of this? I get a body. You've got a body. I'm an old, I'm an old, I'm an old hag. Here's another thing I'm a little hung up on

is you suddenly have our blood. You can scry on us at any time. How do I know that you're not an agent of one of my foes trying to get my blood so you can scry on me? The rules of the fair wild, if we were to enter a contract together, I'm bound to keep my word with you. Okay, well, start drafting that up while we have a discussion. And you will not get anything past our lawyer.

Yeah. discussion and we had and you will not get anything past her lawyer She writes up a contract. It's very specific. It's that each of you will draw blood put it in the cauldron then Of this you may only pop us over her shoulder Ram ram ram you shit, pop-up. You can only use the blood for this specific instance. You may not scribe in the future. After which the blood must get destroyed. Rian, Rian, Rian, Rian. The rights of the blood revert back to us. Rian, Rian.

Papa really gets into the contract with her. And yeah, so that's- Oh, Papa's satisfied with the contract, so am I. Papa looks into the contract with her and yeah, so that's Papa's satisfied with the contract so much Papa looks at the contract Ringer and she'll say to you guys the rules are that and you guys know this of the farewell that if you Somebody could like lie to you or trick you but if you guys like enter into a verbal contract with each other and she's like This is how this is the game, this is what happens. She can't get out of that.

Okay. So the game is that you guys all cut yourselves, hold your hand over the cauldron, pour it in. You guys all drink from the cauldron. She's going to inhabit one of your bodies and she's going to disappear. Then you guys have to guess which one of you is the which, once you figure out which one's the which,

and you can only do this by asking one question, you stab that person, and if you guess correctly, you beat the which, and you open the path to the autumn court, if you fail, that person gets taken over by the witch, okay. I need to know, will the witch retrieve the memories of the body, or is it purely the body? Purely the body. Yeah, we've played witch witch at a green team camp before, but there was never an actual witch. This is a new level for me. We're only allowed to ask

one question. You're only allowed to ask one question, and I'll say this. You can either, we'll go around in a circle and you can either ask a question of the whole group or you can ask one person a question. Like we could ask, are you a witch? They can lie. People can lie. Does this witch have any sort of mind, mind reading capabilities? I guess we don't know that, but probably maybe. I'm gonna show you a basket.

Do you have mind reading capabilities? Are you sussing out our personalities? Are you scanning our brains for our memories? I am not, I am sussing out your personalities a little bit but I cannot read your minds. I'll put that in the contract. Rear, yeah. Thank you boy.

Thank you boy. I don't have your memories but I am going to try to trick you and I am going to lie to you and pretend to be the person. Fuck it, let's play. Hard one draws the knife across his palm. Don't. All right. Is it too late to use urine? Okay, never mind. You did pee in the calls right now.

I thought that was a toilet. Bump, Bump or Pete, we all have to drink this. I have one more addendum. Papa doesn't play. Rear. He needs to be supervising and making decisions. Rear, rear, rear. As a court and two kids.

Pop-up stands in the corner with the contract and little eyeglasses on like I am the witch. And his 80s business woman suit. In his 80s business woman suit. Really in legal mud. So, hard one takes the blade, cuts his hand, holds it over the cold drain. You see that there's like green liquid in it. It sizzles and pops as hard one's blood goes into it. You see balnor and bev senior do it.

Hold it over the pot. Do you mucine and bev? Yeah. Cool. I mean, I wipe off the blade first with a wet nap. Right. Then I do it. Yeah.

So clean, but you are going to have to drink everyone's blood. So you guys all, I'll use her blade. I just bite my hand and pour it in. Right. You guys all pour your blood into this cauldron. And you see the witch pulls out a large metal cover, the top of the cauldron. And she hands it to you hard. One, you're the biggest, you're the biggest person here. And she goes, now when the screaming stops, you're going to lift up the top here and pour yourselves a cup, then replace the top and place the knife in the center.

And she looks at Papa. If he doesn't do this, he breaks the contract. Remember that. Papa writes this down. And you see she gets in this fucking boiling cauldron. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa screaming from the inside. I have Uno, we could have played Uno. And eventually, or she reads. She dies. And you don't hear anything. Yeah, I open it up, I stir it, and then I...

Yeah, you see she is gone. She has been melted into this pot. Okay. You see that there's like a little ladle in the cauldron. You pour each of you a cup. I see. Ballnor, Bev's dad take it. Cheers.

Yep, I take one. Nice wig. Okay, I'll throw you guys, Drake it. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna roll to see who's the witch between Ballnor, Bev and you three. If one of you guys is the witch, you have to play it to the best of your abilities.

Try your best to be the witch, or else bad things will happen in the future of the campaign as determined by the gods. I am going to roll to see who the witch is. And now I am going to hand you guys dice. If you are the witch, you are trying to fool the other people and to thinking you are indeed the person whose body you are in. So hard one, if you are the witch, you're pretending to be hard one, but you don't have your memories.

So you're just like lying along with the group, or you'll make something up, or you're just like, you see that you're a big buff dude, so you'll say something that seems in character. I'm gonna hand you guys each a D20, if you get a red one, then you are the witch. Okay. Everyone, we should just close our eyes. Everyone's our eyes. Games like this make me so fucking witch. Okay. Everyone, we should just close our eyes. Everyone's our eyes. Games like this make me so fucking nervous.

Okay, everybody look at your D20. See if you got the red one, if you got the red one, then you are the witch. If you did not, then you are yourself. So you guys all drink this concoction. You all look at each other. Everyone looks like normal. Everyone looks a little bit nervous and suspicious.

You put the top back on the cauldron and you put the knife in the middle. So now what's going to happen is we're all going to roll initiative. And then you decide on your turn if you want to ask a specific person a question or if you want to ask the whole group of question and then we go around in a line answering. I got a Nat 20. What was it? I got a 16 too. Roll off.

Okay. Well let's say since moonshine, so we'll just go around in a circle now. So we'll do, so where we sit in real life, we'll say we're standing at the table. So we've got moonshine, his next abev, who's next to Balnor, who's next to Bev senior, who's next to hard one in a circle around this culture. moonshine, you asked the first question.

Balnor, what's your favorite food? Chicken. I stabbed Balnor. It stabbed Balnor. Instantly, there is the shriek. And this, I thought for a second about fucking cheating. I can't believe you just beat Balnor. Balnor is... I was like Balnor or Beverly Beverly to foot that's who I'm going for because the other ones are gonna

It's hard and They're only gonna get one question with each of them What is that Beverly to for was your wife? You grab the knife you fucking stab in a ball nor you see this shriek As bound or just fucking disintegrates into a very old lady and then is destroyed is gone and suddenly you guys see The top of the cauldron starts like somebody's trying to push it off. I yeah, we flick it you flick it open You see bound or is it side super sweaty like And he flopped on the grids

I don't know where it was I don't know where it was. I think you won the game. Congratulations. I won. You're the one who's gone. Yeah. The witch is gone. We got her. Oh that was the second worst thing that's ever happened to me. I was in a pot. I was just, we were cavalier about playing the game. My goose is cooked. Oh. You crushed it though. You're a pro at this game.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, you honest are getting it wrong. You wanted it for us. I drank some liquid with a melted lady in it, and then I disappeared, and I came back. Yeah. So yeah, you basically had sex. I guess you could say that, Beth.

Damn, everybody about me is getting laid on his chair. The Faye has been pretty good to me. Although I haven't gotten laid since we've been on our journey. It's before playing the Faye. Yeah. So yeah, so you guys, you guys are in this hunt. Bound or fucking pops out of the pot. I can't believe how fucking I don't like I literally no way you could have cheated though because your face gave it away Like no cuz you're like like as soon as I said ball or what's your favorite food like your look was just like You were done because I was racing. I was just like, what would she say? Cause there's no way she's gonna fucking guess tuna.

You could say bread. That wouldn't have done it. I mean, like, what is anybody's favorite food? But if you said bread, I still wouldn't kill this food. Like what is any medieval person's favorite food? She guessed chicken. That's a thing. Just like normal gas.

We got you, dude. She said to make a guess. Did you guys, this is like bordering on short rest territory? Yeah. But did you guys know that I wouldn't trust any of you to actually get away? Absolutely. Oh, I did not know.

So you like purposefully. I purposefully. I did roll between Balnor and Bev Sr. but I was purposefully just like being a hyper like nobody fucking cheat even though I knew that like one of you would smile or laugh. My feeling was that we were all gonna like the three of us were gonna talk but you had the liberty to make Balnor and Bev and Beverly the fourth like quiet and it wouldn't be weird.

Like so I was like this is our chant we have to ask all our questions to them because if one of us was all of a sudden super silent we we'd be like, year of the witch. Yeah, we're never silent. Thank you for not making us the witch though, because that was too much pressure. I was really stressed out when we had it out the dice. I was thinking about what I was going to do as a moonshine. I was like, I guess the experience she's had of moonshine is that she's like, kind of rude. So I would like kind of rude,

so I would just kind of like be like a little rough around the end. Yes. And of all the people, I feel like a creepy witch could like slide into moonshine which is essentially, you know. Say something about nipples, that tracks. Well, you guys are just in this,

you guys are just in this little chocolate, right? Well, no, no, no, she promised those passage to the face Uh-huh. Yeah, you see pop-out looks at the contract Yeah, yeah, it looks to the contract and then he scrambles outside. Okay I follow him so you guys follow pop-out side you get out and You see that the trees that were around here, like creating a wall boxing in this hut, have spread out to a more natural pattern.

You're no longer in a weird maze. It's still like a dense forest, a punchy tree. You punch a tree, it's just a regular tree. We're good. It doesn't appear to be like enchanted in any way. And you guys see smoke and hear activity in the distance like there is a settlement or a town or perhaps a court. A court.

And that's where we'll end our session. Yeah. Great. We're going to court. Ha ha ha ha. Hattita ta. And luckily we're not having to go to the back kind of court because Paw Paw made such an ironclad contract.

It would have been a nightmare to go to the bad kind of court because Paw Paw made such an ironclad contract It would have been a nightmare to go into legal proceedings with That witch bulletproof so it's so funny that you just immediately stabbed Boundor Let's talk about this game for like another 40 minutes on the short rest. Yeah Guys head on over to I do kind of want to hear everyone's strategies I want to hear everyone's like thoughts of want to hear everyone's thoughts of what they were going to do if they were the win. That's my head was racing with like, how do I?

Yeah, how do I like not let Merff think I was like throwing the game, but also, I mean, fucking win. Yeah. The reason I play games like D&D is so I don't have to play Secret Hitler in Ultimate Werewolf, but then I'm not. Oops. Yeah, those games are good.

Well, I knew you guys are all too party focused and nice that I knew if I handed you a red dice that you would just like, there'd be like an audible like, oh, you know. No, I was gonna give it to you. I know you would. I know you would.

I hit it in my cloak, I'm wearing a cloak right now. I hit it in my cloak. I was gonna give it my best. I didn't think that any of you guys would intentionally sabotage it, but I just wanna make everybody nervous. My dice was yellow and I was trying to decide for a really long time. If it was actually red.

That's, I did several checks into my cloak bib being like, I'm not the witch in my, yeah. Cool guys, we will talk more about this over at patreon.com slash nadpod. That's naddpod, don't see yet. We got some things to plug guys watch hot data on Netflix. It's me and Emily Sketch Show. You can also check out our book. Hey you up. How to turn your booty call and turn emergency contact. It's available on audible and on Amazon. Call the way to get the plug. Oh, I would like to plug our iTunes page.

Please go ahead and give us a rating. Yes. Yes. We are inching up towards 3,000 reviews. I did fun. I did say I was going to do a donkey con one shot. Yeah. Oh, dear me. Oh, oh, oh. Finally back and they're here for you. Oh, no. We don't record enough podcasts. Yeah. Yeah, we're only doing like 12 a month right now.

Oh, no. Not enough podcasts. Get up to 30 a day. How do people send us stuff called well? Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah. If you want to send us, I don't know, beer, oil that you make,

you can go to 1920 Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Feliz, California, 9-0-0-27. And you can send it to that. And I'll go and check the little box and then I'll tell a man to get my packages because they don't fit in the box. This is a little too much information. That'd be fun.

All right. Jake, what do you got? No, just send us your beer toil. We're gonna do a taste test. You're just encouraging your competitors. Come at the king. You're sending me your oil. Cool guys, follow us on Twitter at CH CH Murfizmi, at calledyuskaldwoll, adixford is Emily, and at jkherwits is Jake, and tweet about the show using hashtagnadpod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d.

We are we are, the youth of a nation, we are we are, the youth of a nation. Can't believe you called out Balnor like that. I can't believe he called out Balnor like that. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our Ben Nevilleant Council of Elders. Yeah, we appreciate your hospitality. Starting with, Brad D, the only Pepplepot that isn't Craven, and the only Pepplepot to pass their driver's test. J. Loma-72, aka Steelbreaker, Hardwwan's Jim Spiration, taught Hardwan how to double fist, although when Steelbreaker did it, it wasn't beer, it was two hundred pound dumbbells. Nice.

Dylan B. a sword-wielding wizard surrounding by a floating army of blades at all times, uses it to terrify their foes, but also to tear it up at a Hibachi table. Danny P. Bohumi's resident artist, painted Hardwan's senior portrait at the dwarf inage, also did jemmas, which is currently going for a lot of money on a Theorial Bay. Tom P. Father of the Realm, and serenader of Sleeping Babies. Unfortunately, Legend of Tom P.'s Browse has gotten out and women all over Bohumi are trying to bet him just to get them quiet babies.

Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ill-maker to gods and heroes of Bohumi Aalike, made an October fest for the autumn court that you better believe they serve all year round. Griffin SD aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldrich Knight and ex-owner of the Badger's pint in. Also the owner of the Badger's pint in,

that's right they just bought a new tavern and named it after the first one, the liquor license for their new spot is still pending, so Griffin SD is getting real creative with coffee beverages. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bahumia, apparently started out as a soul patch, then Beardman Dan got busy and just kind of lost track of time. Scott D, the only bully woke to ever have braces. Always a dead giveaway when making out with other teens in the time outback.

Hermes W, the Bat King, started wearing a house of card style ring on their pinky. Now everyone's whispering that Hermes might be looking to stage a coup on their own regime. Spartas. The Richard Branson of Airships. Spartas' Airship is the hottest place to be, and yes, the Flight Safety video is a music video. Atomar, the R-rated assassin reported to be pretty inspired by all the vaguely erotic whipping the hounds did last week.

Cassandra MHP-AK, Cassandra Max H.hp Cassandra has so much HP they use a death lance ass of toothpick. Danielle the Dastardly Dame Danielle is so dastardly that she always has advantage on attacks, magical whip or not. QC aka Haldor Frostbuck MVP of the giant wars crewed on the SS storeborn and fought alongside a lice and red also crewed on the SS storeborn and fought alongside Elias and Red also crewed on the SS storeborn during a brief time when it was a party boat for Bachelorette parties. Manny the mundane accidental deity you got in the way of a lichest bell to reach divinity.

When you open up your nest cam and your cat or dog happen to be perfectly in frame that's Manny looking out for you. Aw sweet Daniel you aka multiple. The many faced magician has yet to take a Tinder profile that they feel really captures them. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm. Jordan is trying to throw a music fast in the elemental chaos to rival Feicella, follow Fire Festival on Trinstagram for all the hottest deeds. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and Ord, the whole Horde. That's right, Jeffery S is a one-man crew team. Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy-turned-crick bark attack, hates working with trees in the autumn court

because there's just no privacy. John S. A.K., shubbert the mushroom. Shubbert may seem like a fun little fella, but there are actually 10 times more poisonous than a black widow spider. Ryan M, the namesake of Hardwan's Ram, Hardwan once got tabletopped, but was caught mid-fall by a sympathetic dwarven named Ryan.

Alaina C. the author and illustrator of Ulfgar Ghost Punch. Andrew M. a writer who is currently pitching an animated series of the Ulfgar adventures to TV executives all across Bahumia. Wow, hope Alaina gets that uh uh uh credit. Michael McD. Head mixologist at the Blue Man in. The chosen have taken over Ezri, so Michael has been making a lot of white russians. Victor T. Bowneur's boy, who's loving dad, was ripped from his family and transported to another world.

But wait, that means Bowneur has two sons. Bobby has a brother. Bowneur gives a thousand yard stare. Ooh, I like it. Justin I, a Nannerfly trainer down at the Cric. Also, holder of the record for most Nannerfly bites down at the Cric. Also, holder of the record for most Nannerfly bites down at the Cric. Clayton M, the Claimation Dalmatian who works in sanitation all across the nation. That's right Clayton is a teleporting garbage dog.

The professional, the only lawyer to successfully beat Papa in litigation, relied on the testimony of corrupt Cric bullie wugs to put an innocent petri in the time out there. Jacob C, the first bard was just playing a song one day and whoop, here comes some spells. Elena M. The fifth member of the Hounds currently tracking the band of boobs and waiting for an opportunity to kill them in their swoop. McPucks, the amazing co-master who programmed our website, also set up the Wi-Fi and Professor Duttled Lab, which is problematic to say the least. Earl and Kathleen L. Two Nannerflies who bred to create the many jars of their species that moonshine in joy today. Jive G, the troll who kicked to Jonas Dad,

has grown a lot as a person and regrets it. Corbin A, the previous owner of Alonus' first addition, Ulfgar Scrolls straight up put the comics back in their plastic case and pretended they were mint. The Jostridge, the Joc ostrich, used to to bully the Scronier Ostriches until one scrappy Ostrich won their heart. We're going to do a whole campaign about it. Stay tuned.

B.J.W. Charo Arcadeus, a tiefling warlock who's tail as a mind of its own. Papa did have to charge Charo's tail for a swatting nannier flies at the creek, so Charo's just sitting next to a timeout bag, waiting for their tail to finish a sentence. Damn you are, Ram Daniels evil twin. Also Ryan's good twin, that's right, they're triplets. Whoa, Nicholas R. aka St. Crickles.

Besides delivering presents to youngins on Crickmas morning, St. Crickles also serves the gooseberry pie on Crickmase during their extremely dangerous firework show. Jennifer V. An Aladdin Ranger currently tracking moonshines pregnant elk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha sword on the Galator on Trem and the Heaven been able to find it. Devin B, the bodega lord, the hero of heroes, the Sultan of Sub's, the bastard of the mountain, wait, sorry no not that one, the server of sandwiches. Nice dude. Michael, Elle, currently wandering through the trials of the autumn court on a nice stroll

and hasn't realized they're in amaz yet. Look live Michael. Sam H, a skeleton king who dreams of bringing Christmas to the autumn court, wait, I have an idea for a movie. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh a sexy proven snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin, and what's under all that snake skin? Smooth, silky caramel. Yum, I'll take a bite. Tray-lay, the cray-fei, who loves stay by Dave Matthews. Whether right or wrong makes us want to stay, stay, stay for a while. Aaron G. Master, the banishment spell, instead of using Deodorant, Aaron G. just the banishment spell. Instead of using deodorant, Aaron G. just banishes their BO.

They also do the same for Dandruff and Jockage. Eric B. Longest fingernails in Bahumia. Pretty neat record, but it is impossible for Eric to use their speaking stone. Alucard, a reverse Dracula. Alucard is so reverse, they actually live on the sun. And now that's hot. Wow.

Babydack, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section. They also delivered their twin who is a baby accountant. At a major teenage rogue who uses their stealth to sneak out at night, take that mom, I hate you, dad. Fuck you, aunts. Ha ha ha. Collin G and Geomancer who makes a stone that will get you stoned. That's right. Collin G invented Bohumius first THC, vape pen. Ryan, hard ones, Ram, who lives a beautiful life.

Thanks to hard ones, having him free. Ryan is taking online classes and as hopes to become a matriculated student at a technical school in the fall. Wait a get your life back, Ryan. Big bug, the moose that pregnant moose moonshine, a gay moose shine is carrying interbelly. Richard F and arcane dealer that only sells placebo drugs in order to wean their clients off the drug. Noble, but also, they're a con artist. Taylor, as A.G.A. dressed, the traveler recently invested in a portable arcane battery for

their speaking stone so they can keep a charge on the road. John W.G. fights with a blender bus attached to a sword will often cut themselves when firing the blender bus and shoot themselves while swinging the sword. Try McSee and alcoholic wizard who casts the strongest spells on weak cocktails. Cannibalistic Cthulhu, like Shuburt Cthulhu, will take a little nibble of themself in a pinch. They taste pretty good. Sam L. A retired prize nannterfly who, like a prize race horse, retires and is only used for breeding.

Cool life, bro! Domara Murfolk, that's half mermaid half orc, they swim with sharks and fight with dragon turtles, it's rugged as hell. Josh S. The revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Robo Josh is stronger than ever. No one can defeat. Wait, moonshine, no! Robo Josh has just been thrown from a dour and is dead.

Blitzberry, Dimitri, owner of Dorgers, Big Borgor. Now being sold in your frozen food aisle, so you can enjoy a Big Borgor in your own home. A Borgor from the Storger. Oh, don't mind if I do. Caleb's storm, cup bearer, and Cords, great hall. Caleb's job as Cords bartender is very easy, since all anyone ever orders is made. Andrew A. The new mayor of the creek though Andrew is really just a pretty face. Joe is still pulling the strings as he always has. Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohemia, currently in pre-pro 4, the puzzle of the headless horseman, where they will be playing the horseman and the horse.

Matt L. A chosen night who was excommunicated after ordering a smoothie with almond milk. Brother, we only drink from the udder. Tar got owner and proprietor, Bohumius beloved general store, Tar got, where Beverly buys his near infinite supply of wetnaps. Mike H. The autumn court's royal puzzle master Mike is currently retooling the witch house section

so that now instead of possessing your body and asking questions, the witch just shoots you with a crossbow as soon as you walk in. Kevin S. The Slider Dryder, a drow arachnid who loves tiny sandwiches even more than hard one and is currently hunting down the band of boobs in order to challenge him to an eating contest. Shribble, a tiny mouse whore who uses a needle as a sword, a thimble as a helmet, a bottle cap as a shield, and a full-size Lamborghini as a car, stylish. Garrett M. Arranger who doesn't know how to track monsters, but can track their boss's busy schedule, which is what makes Garrett such an indispensable assistant. Go on, Garrett, ask for that race, Yoda's Arvett. Matthew E. A drought hunter who wears a blindfold like Zalik, but only because they hunt pinatas, which in the daywild are both alive and terrifying. Ooh-hoo-hoo. Samuel B. A dwarven ghost who's been spending a lot of time with Gemma lately. They're actually planning a trip to Big Bear, which in Buhumia is an actual giant bear that you wrestle for fun. Sounds steamy.

Be money, the official currency of the Bazinga Bees. Unfortunately, their economy recently collapsed after the Bazinga government spent over $2 trillion on a single sunflower. Tilt for G, a normal human who dresses exactly like a wizard. Big beard, blue pointy hat, covered in stars, though works. None of Tilt for its wizard friends have called them out on it, but behind Tilt for its back, they're all like, what the fuck? Guardian of the light, Zach H. Bohumi is only Keyblade wielder, Zack was recently turned into a heartless and now must defeat their nobody, Jacks, to return to normal. Mitch D, an enlightened drunken master water genocyn named Tak-Affla, was once banished to hell, but won their freedom after defeating all nine demon lords in a massive game of

flip-cup. Curtis S, a Bohumi in adventure who was mysteriously transported to Trinny Vale and quickly went won their freedom after defeating all nine demon lords in a massive game of flip cup. Curtis S. Abihumi an adventure who was mysteriously transported to Trinny Vale and quickly went mad while trying to find a restaurant that isn't possible. Caution B. A famous Nan or Fly breeder who invented the now widely used stickman a jar and watch him get nasty method of reproduction. Barrett K. Barrett Brisdens personal milk Somalia. Barrett has an actual milk must action yet. So it has gross as it sounds. Jen's Christianity. Another Trinnevellian. Jen's actually went to the same school as Jen's Lindell

and was much more popular, which led to Jen's L getting invited to a lot of parties by accident. A fact he refuses to acknowledge to this day. Gage M has the thickest ear gauges in Bohemia recently gage attuned them with flying spells and now they soar through the sky like a crust punk version of Dumbo. Montana Monarch, ruler of big sky country, they ride a bison like a horse, sleep on a bed made of glaciers and spend their day pissing into Canada just to annoy them.

Melanie F. A. K. A. T. A. Vina, Sarahrigan, and Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath but forgot what for. Maybe it was just top drinking so much? Tiavana's gonna get to the bottom of this right after they get to the bottom of this old fashion. Rayleigh PS, a knight of the Prickerbush, despite being scorned. Rayleigh is no longer foregone and has sworn to serve the Thorn. Aarency, the coolest gun toden cobalt in all of Bahumia more commonly known by their nickname,

O'Cob. He hee hee. Dragon Senpai, the coolest dragon at Bahumia high. They sit upon a massive horde of flustered underclassmen whose only dream is to be noticed by their mess. And that's it for this week gang. Thank you to our council of elders. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers and all of our listeners. You can listen to the short rest over at patreon.com slash nad pod. And we'll be back next week with another episode.

Thanks guys. We love all you sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast. That was a Hate Gum podcast.