Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 57: Frozen Hearts (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: April 4, 2019

The Band of Boobs travel to King Lestibourne's tower and face the Queen of the Unseely! Moonshine loses her will to fight, Hardwon learns more about the horror he inflicted on the Widow, and Beverly disobeys his dad. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Tower in the Distance" by Emily Axford. "Angels and Devils" by Emily Axford. "The Purge" by Emily Axford."Into the Fire" by Emily Axford. "King Lestibourne" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford. "Kiss of Life" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping

with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamaneeve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the

podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P W P A W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Hey guys, it's Murph with a quick announcement. We have a couple episodes left in our Fey Wild arc. But after that, we are going to take a two week break from the Bohumia campaign. That said, don't worry, we'll still be putting out episodes. On Thursday, April 18th, we'll be doing a Q&A episode and releasing an episode of Trinnevale. On Thursday, April 25th, we will be releasing another Trinnevale episode to keep you satiated with more play episodes while I take a little breather between Arks. So to recap,

you'll be getting a Q&A and two Trinnevails the last two weeks of April. We will be coming back with a vengeance and may with a return to our Bahumia campaign and the launch of our next arc. We'll also be doing the Donkey Kong one shot that we promised you for getting us to 3000 reviews. So thank you for that. But before that, we still have our Feywild finale episodes. And let me tell you, this is a thick, soad. One of my favorites we've ever done. I hope you enjoy it on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast.

Welcome back to Bohumi everyone. Ba-oh-oh-oh. Buh-oh-oh. I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake her wits. Hard one, sure, foot. Emily Axford. Munchan Sabin.

Damsel in dirigible. Ha-ha. Yay. Y'all good. Boy, oh boy. Wow. And Carl Deltaner. Beverly Toggle the fifth.

Hill Home, Home Record. Oh. I almost thought for one of my intros, I thought of doing whole record since I, since like Hobbits live in holes. And I technically kissed Balnor. Oh, yeah. And then we found out he had a wife.

But she, she's dead. Or she doesn't even exist. Yeah. The hells are the real whole records. Yes. That's true. You kissed his potentially dead future wife. Or like, no, sorry.

That doesn't make any sense. He has a potentially dead future wife. Yeah. Cool, guys, that doesn't make any sense. He has a potentially dead future wife. Yeah. Cool, guys. So let's do a little recap. Last week, you all entered the autumn court and executed Operation Honest Lad. You walked, finally, you walked right up to the Aladdin guards and formed them that you had Queen Serella, then we're taken directly to Princess Jovier, the leader.

Kind of takes away the reason to call it operation, huh? Kind of like a fancy name for just doing. I think fancy names are important. And being. I think everything lad. This needs to be established. Doing lad. All right, y'all, I gotta do Operation P in lad.

It's important, it's an affirmation to yourself. It's really good, especially when it doesn't have like a iteration or anything, there's nothing clever about it. It's just an honest love. Oh, you're right, it would be Operation Leakin Lad. That's when you're going to have it. That's when you go pay. You met the princess, this half-aladrian, half goblin,

whose throne was in a Viking hall full of her rowdy subjects. You confided in her about Queen Cyrillus' curse. And she advised you that in order to break it, you'd need to deal with Queen Ezra of the Unseally. She offered to protect Cyrillus behind her walls, but in exchange asked that you deliver the Unseally crown to her once your quest was completed. Jovier argued that there should never be only one court in the Fay and suggested that given her current kingdom full of goblins and assorted weirdos, she'd be the perfect

person to rule over the winter court. You agreed and drank to your pact then continued drinking. Beverly met a new friend and autumn, a ladren boy named Turan, after an evening of investigating an owl-beared den and some heavy flirtation, Bev declined Turan's advances to be true to Erlin, but did end up sneaking a kiss in the end there before Misty stepping away. Leave Malone, he's young, gotta sew his wild oats now! Don't you at him! I'm good!

I'm good! I'm conflicted! You all slept in separate rooms for the first time. The next day, you set off for the Winter Court to find Queen Ezra and the tower where King Lestaborn has been locked away. You hired a goblin pilot named Gweed to take you in a hyperfast flying machine, but unfortunately there was immediately a male function and Gweed was ejected from the apparatus. Luckily, hard one was mostly listening to the instruction and figured out how to fly the thing

after some false starts and nearly plummeting out of the sky. You got the hang of it and began flying steadily towards the winter. The moonshine power in that shit. That's true. So respect where respect is due, young and? Much respect to moonshine. Before you get your bell wrong, man. Ha ha ha ha. And that's where we are now.

Just to clarify, we all still know how to fly the plane. Yes, yeah, we don't need to. It has been weeks since we've recorded this, so I do not expect you to know exactly which lever to use now. That would be a wild pop quiz. My poll number five. You guys die. That's the self wild pop quiz. Like pull number five. You guys die.

That's the self-destruct. Can we establish that? No way. I just wanted to pull the moon roof. So yeah, so you guys know how to fly this at this point. You guys went through your moment of panic, but we're able to get it going and you got the propeller's going. This trip is over a day.

Once you get it moving at like a medium consistent speed, so you guys are able to rest, kind of take turns, and get your spells back and get your HP back. So hard one, you are in the captain's seat. Bev Sr. is sitting co-pilot, kind of directing you towards where you need to go. As you guys have left the autumn territory and head into winter, you see that the trees below

begin to die and the land becomes barren. From what you know of the winter court, it's not a winter wonderland. It is like the dead bitter side of winter. I was about to be like, this is like not painting a pretty picture of winter. What about snow shoe? It's not like frost wind. No? It's not like frost wind.

No, it's not like frost wind and it's not even like, even with the summer court being cursed and it being covered in frost, it's still like beautiful there. This is not beautiful. Do we look into the lakes below us and see any frozen giant fish? You do see like, it's all like.

That was such a call well question on my part Well did slide you a note before you ask I just want to spread them out The moonshine question would have been is there a frozen mermaid village down? No, it would be more like Bev would ask that question and moonshine would insist that you stop there. Yep. That's how it goes Anyway, yeah, we want to hook up with the Murphot. Yes, so you guys see the trees down there are all like gnarled and the land is cold and gray and occasionally you will see some terrifying creature, like some giant spider just like skittering across the land trying to catch up to a flying machine. Look at that. Oh, let's get away from that. I was expecting a lot more talking snowman.

Yeah. I packed like really adorable ski lodgewear. Yeah, yeah. That's like my Kindle full books or read by the fire. You got like a full hood going on there. Yeah. I see a bag full of marshmallows and a mug. I'm starting to feel like I'm at toss it. Oh, give me the marshmallow. Yeah, those all have some marshmallows. Try and hit that spider on the noggin. Bound or quietly puts his earmuffs away. Oh, I'm getting these, I guess. So you guys all see that as you travel, the sun moves. It goes from sunsets over the horizon

to fully disappearing and becoming night, not because of the passage of time, but just because as you physically move through the seasonal territories in the Feywild, the sun moves to match your location. So it is now night, not a pretty night, strange, creepy night. There are no stars in the sky, just a big full moon. This area is so devoid of life that you can almost feel the silence as you guys are flying along.

Like you just hear the propellers going, and if you guys, if nobody's talking, it's just this really awkward like, okay, well, like Balnor feels like he needs to keep the conversation going. Like he keeps going in loops. Beverly keeps like trying to get a license plate game going, but then realizes there are no other planes. Yeah, Beverly, we keep playing I spy. like he keeps going in loops. Beverly keeps like trying to get a license plate game going,

but then realizes there are no other planes. Yeah, Bev, we keep playing I spy, and it's always just a twig, a frozen twig. Every time it's been a goddamn frozen twig. It was snow that one time. That's true, but there was a twig on it that snowed. I got you with that one though. Yeah, that's true.

All right, it's a great game. There's really no sound system on this thing, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I brought the sound system. I produced the solo cup. Oh my God. Pop the speaking stone in.

Yeah. It's so. I'm limping up a tune. I'm having a snout. Let's get some snow patrol going. How question? If I lay here, if I just lay here. That's seniors like, I don't know who these guys are, but I like this tune.

Yeah, we can groove to this. It just all got the world. Maybe it's like the, maybe it's like the solemn road trip by, but I'm wondering, y'all both got someone that you love, right? What does that add to your life? To have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, even if they're not on this plane? Well, my girlfriend's dead, but I've got,

I've got a couple other people that I love. Oh, okay. I pass pop on the head. Oh, yeah. And the head glattens. You mean? And I pack glatted, you mean? And I packed a lot of that too. Having people you love just makes you fight harder.

I mean, the thing that's hard is when they're not here and when you can't protect them and you just have to trust that they're gonna be okay. But how do y'all decide? I feel like it's so hard to like someone for that long. Yeah, I mean, me and moonshine, we try. Alright, I jump off. Is there a parachute on here?

I look for a parachute, I suit up. I go durs the window. I put the speaker's phone in some of the bigger cars. I don't know, I'm 15, don't ask me. You're right, that is foolish of me to be reached out. Do you know? You know I Think you guys got a great thing going here You you got good friends good pals that you travel with I'll tell you. There's nothing better Because you think moonshine a hard one would date because I've been thinking about like I couldn't you know

I could ship them. Mm-hmm. I see Bev senior see Bev senior looks at you two guys you guys are considered I sort of place moonshine's hair in front of her lips to see what you look like with the beard I don't know if I have what hard ones looking for good right I I quickly wild shaped just my chin Oh, Hard one just like dead focuses on the wheel Seriously guys, we got to focus on it shakes him to his very core. Hey dad can you fly me and Harman got to do some squats Yeah, yeah, I could take over for a minute there. Okay, thousand burpees. Let's go They're calling burpees because you puke, right? That's it, right? Bound heart's puke instantly, he did like three. Oh, well, y'all get Papa in there

after the recent near death experiences. I think Papa needs a train a bit. Yeah. You see Papa looks mad for you. He's just eating a bunch of candy. Papa, the only muscle you're working these days is your brain and I know it's a strong one but I need you getting buffer. You You see he lays down on his back

It starts having like a temper tantrum just like scrambling and warming around and body Pop out the first step to a better you is admitting that you need to improve yourself He's just eating the tuna Okay, that's good. That's protein Wait, how fatty is that tuna? Oh, it's fatty tuna. We're slabbing out his face. We're here. Uh, CC Bev Seniors looking out the window

as he's kind of flying through the winter territory. And he goes, yeah, most of the life here is subterranean. So we're not gonna see much activity down there. But when we see King Leicester's tower that's that's above ground. We'll okay. We'll see some action then what's happening underground? What kind of like What kind of Animals and monsters she's wondering if there's a Murphoke village down there Maybe I'm looking for love These days I guess it'd be me. I leave everyone and look out the window quietly.

That files this away, a little mental note. I imagine being a merman. That's a way. Probably be mull man, not merman. Down in these parts. Oh, mull folk. Yeah. Interesting.

They're diggers. You know, the bad eyesight, but like, you know, they can really sniff out a good personality, I think. So after several more hours of traveling through this barren wasteland, you finally see Unluminated by Moonlight is Lestaborn's Tower. It sits on the edge of a cliff hanging precariously over the abyss beyond. It's built of black rock, but each individual brick is enormous. It looks like this must have been built by giants. The stones are of all different sizes, so the tower is a bit misshapen. It doesn't shoot straight up. It leans a little to the right at the bottom and a little to the left in the middle. Then spreads out to be this big circular chamber

at the top just under a great spire. The terrain rises naturally up to the entrance at the bottom. It's quite mountainous. Big crags jutting out. There doesn't seem to be any natural walkway. The tower itself has a few windows that are spread throughout the different levels of the tower, which are essentially just areas where rocks are missing.

And you see a dull blue light glowing from inside. So is this tower separate from wherever Ezra's main? Castle is. Oh, this is like all prison. Yeah, you see Bev Sr. Nas and he goes, Queen Ezra keeps him separated from the rest of the Unsealia. I think she doesn't trust him

that they won't take him out or something. He's not the most popular amongst the Unsealia. Keep that dick on a chain. Yeah. So you guys see all of this from a distance, and you're so used to the silence at this point that you've come to expect it, especially in this secluded place.

But suddenly you see a winged creature fly by in the moonlight. It meets another winged creature and the two clash in battle in the air. Below, you see that there are troops storming this tower. It is extremely difficult to see what is going on because despite it being night, none of the troops are carrying torches. Everything's far away enough that you can just like,

barely hear stuff if you have like a window cracked, which I know you do because you're blasting cutty. Yeah, dude. Maybe turn that down. You can take this, this down out of the cup if you really want to. I feel like we could have seen these people come and if we had, if we didn't have music on.

All right, just a really good song. Just put you back to Snow Patrol. What you like. Oh, God. I put my parachute back on and look out the window, pensively. The only fighters you can see clearly are chosen angels. Glowing with radiant energy.

Guys, go ahead and give me perception checks. Well, they got birds. Can't believe they're using the light for that. I got an 18, 17, 11. Bev, you notice this and you clue the other guys in. As you're looking out, you see that there are enough angels that you can see in their glow, some of the other combatants.

You see femorians, these giant purple skin to monsters with hunched backs, their skin to bubbles with strange muscles and bone, and they carry these giant clubs. They are joined by sideclopses. These jacked giants who wear nothing but loincloths, even in the winter, they've got scraggly brown hair and one big eye, and they also carry these huge,

great clubs. You also see Drow footmen, and it's an odd sight, but they appear to be on the same side as the angels. They are fighting alongside the chosen, which you assumed to be the case, because you knew that the Allemade had deal with the Unseally. But you see that they are fighting undead and devils. You see death night looking guys. blackened armor fighting cyclopses, skeletons and zombies going toe-to-toe with drow, and the creatures you saw fighting in the moonlight, one of them is a chosen angel and it's having an aerial

scrap with like this winged devil. Whoa! So wait, who the, which side of the devil's on? Bev, can you sense are these devils evil? I know that sounds like a foolish question, but sometimes I feel like we get tripped up. It's important. There's evil fucking everywhere around here. Full evil. Yeah, you- The terms of spells, they are evil. Oh, this is sort of, we don't want to eat- we would ideally- both sides kill each other. Yeah, it's confusing because both sides look like bad guys.

It's monsters versus devils. I'm just confusing because both sides look like bad guys. It's monsters versus devils. Theala and the unceilig army versus what looked like acarot type minions, and you see Bev Senior goes, it looks like someone else is trying to get to Lesterborn. Or maybe they know Queen Ezra is here and they're making a play for the crown. Either way, we gotta get in there.

Wait, we gotta get in there, or do we gotta let it play out? We can't let it play out. What if one of these people gets the crown? Whoever wins, it's somebody bad to get in the crown. We gotta use in there or do we gotta let it play out? We can't let it play out. What if one of these people gets the crown? Whoever wins Somebody bad to get in the crown. Yeah, I gotta use them as cover. Yeah, where's the crown? I would imagine Queen Ezra probably has it and if they're under attack she's Most likely up in the tower with King Leastaborn. Okay, so a hard one if you can fly us within 30 feet both Bev and I could misty step with rope

so that people, if there was like an open window or something of the sort. Great. Yeah, because it's a zip line. I'd love to try to get into that tower without dealing with all this hustle bustle down below. And I would love to set up a zip line. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, I take a little vacation tourism while we, where we can. Just really get like a nice vista as you swing in. It's a great way to see a place. So you guys do see,

there are a lot of angels and a decent amount of like aerial battle going on, but they are fighting these other devils and stuff. So as you guys start flying towards the tower, let me go ahead and do some encounter checks. Okay, so you guys see one chosen angel finishes killing one of these flying devils and it and two chosen knights riding griffins begin riding towards your flying machine. Guys, everybody roll initiative. Oh dear, here we go.

It's a bird and two guys on other birds. It's a bird and horsey show, 18. 11. 16. This angel and these flying knights fly at you guys and the angel directs them over towards you. Some kind of devil machine, a flying devil machine. It's a natural. I'm not, it's a ship.

You can't. I'm not damn bird. I'm painting. I'm painting flying devil machine, it's a natural. I'm, it's a, it's a ship. You can't. I'm a damn bird. I'm painting. I'm painting flying devil machine on the side of the ship right now. That's the idea. Let's just pretend to be on one side. Okay, hard one, that's your turn.

But if we can switch it every time we encounter someone else. So I have like, I'll have a one sign, and I'll put that out. That'll say SS Theola, and then another one that says, Akira's little devils. So hard one. You see that they are charging like for your ship. Like you guys are in this ship. I will tell you right now the ship has 150 hit points. And that's how many it needs before it has like mechanical failure

and falls out of the sky. Let's protect the ship for as long as we can. If I throw my javelin with the lightning, am I gonna lose it forever? You certainly are. What if I give him my whip to attach to the end of the javelin? No. Okay.

I like the effort. It's a beautiful effort. You gotta try it out. I guess I'll chuck some throwing axes out of them then. Okay, go ahead. 24 to hit. Super hits. Angel or Griffin or Knight.

Probably go for the Griffin, right? I guess I could also just like the Knights have pretty low HP. I might be able to take one of them. Well the Knights, okay. So these guys are more like the chosen Knights that you fought in Galator on, that were like near Paladin level. Oh, so nice. These aren't like the little Weenigard guys.

Okay, hard one hates animals. I throw the axe at the Griffin. I rolled a seven. Seven. Seven damage on the Griffin. It still looks very healthy. Well, let's see if I can't throw another throwing axe. Oh, they're not that strong.

This 17 hits, yeah. Ooh. They're animals. Animal height. 12 damage. 12 damage. I scream out the window. We disagree on this point.

Yeah, you should see him around a pregnant elf. That's love. That's love. I have love for birds for rams. Do you? For the elephant kind? If you have love for birds, then why do you not show kindness to me? I'm not a bird. I'm not a bird. Oh my god. Bev, that's your turn. My turn? Okay cool. So one angel, two nights on griffins. How far away are the nights on the Gryffinds? They are 60 feet away. Okay, cool.

There goes that plan. I've wanted to attach himself to the whip. I was definitely gonna try and like, comment your Gryffind, but if I'm a little far away for that, maybe I will just throw a jaffle on, I guess. Sweet, yeah, okay. Ooh, 27. Super hits.

Great. Throwing it at a Griffin. Yeah. Okay. Well, what are you doing, bud? I'm... You know what? No, I get it. I get it. I get it. Oh, was that a goof? Yeah. Ah! He's getting it.

I'm not getting it. That was a six. Okay. First attack. Shout it to the two crew. Yes. That doesn't count because it's a javelin, not my sword. Right. Sorry.

Okay, okay, that is Moonshine's turn. Cool. I'm just gonna play it safe and do Earth Bond on the chosen bird. And that will like take him out of the sky. It says, choose one creature you see within range, yellow strips of magical energy. I'd like to think that they're green.

Loop around the creature, the target must succeed on a strength saving throw, or it's flying speed, if any, is reduced to zero for the spell's duration and airborne creature affected by this spell descends at 60 feet per round until it reaches the ground or It's a balance. Okay, yeah, I mean he's just gonna fall out of this guy. Okay. Good.

Um, so this thing has a plus three to strength. I will roll it in front of a hard one here because I sit next to a hard one. It's a 21. Jesus. Fuck. You see this energy comes up around the angel briefly constricts its wings, but it bursts out. The light powers me, Devil Friends. Friends of Devils you. That's right, we're Devils. We're Devils. I look down at the Devils and I said, Devils support coming in.

Devils rule. And I make little horns on my head. He sees one of the flying Devils goes, pfft, he can give you a thumbs up. Yeah, I go. I go. I go. Yeah, and then he give me a thumbs up. Yeah, I'm gonna fly as pie. Yeah, and then give them a thumbs up. I do thumbs up as my horns.

Nice. Cool, that is the angel's turn. Angel is going to run forward. In the sky? Fly forward, rather. And it's going to take a close one. Take cracks at your dang airship. Oh geez, crits.

On the ship? On the ship. Oh jeez. Crits. On the ship. Oh you might port defenseless boat. We gotta get this back to Gwee. This is alone. Gwee fucking piece. Yeah, Gwee pees. I don't want to say fuck Gwee

because I understand where she was coming from, but like, I don't need a blaster. She can get it. We saw Gwee flee. She's not in my prayers is what I'm trying to say. She kind of thermos does. 44 damage on the first hits. Ship is down to 106 HP.

Eesh. Takes a second attack hits. That is 19 damage. You guys are gonna get solid. It seems like this, this angel's just on top of your flying machine. Just flacking at it.

You see radiant energy exploding. That is the night's turn. They fly forward on the Griffins and are gonna take cracks at the ship. First guy misses on his first attack, misses on his second attack, rolls two sixes. I just rolled three sixes in a row This is really good. No, go Devils. Oh, and then a roll in that one. Yeah, we love Infernal beings we love them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Where thumbs up?

Guys, I'm not comfortable with this that is Balnor's turn Balnor is going to Balnor's turn Balnor is going to We've got that gun. We've got that gun and start taking shots at the Griffins get that flip Get out of the area You must trust it ease Mrs. On the first attack boom goes off in the in the ship you liner bird take a big a dang lane Mrs. Twice Oh good senior Face steps out of the ship.

Daddy, me, me, me. It goes over to one of the nights with the Griffin stabs down into the Griffin, and misses on the first attack, but hits on the second attack. And he does 24 damage. This Griffin is looking extremely messed up. That is hard one's turn.

Sweet, it's a Griffin, I'm sorry. I was gonna say how close is the Griffin? Yeah. That is hard once turned. Sweet. It's a Griffin, I was gonna say, how close is the Griffin? Yeah. They're pretty close. They're on the ship attacking it. Okay. So I can swing my hammer at the Griffin. Yeah.

I'll say somebody else is gonna need to take the controls. Bounder can do it. Okay. Yeah, your gun's not being super effective right now. Yeah, I'm not a great shot. Cool. Can you just skip ahead to the two-minute mark of this song? Oh

Other song No, Pensaple 22 to hit that hits are you attacking the same Griffin? There's best singers on one of them Yeah, I want to tack the one that with oh wait. We'll you fall out of the sky. He can he can face that all right 20 damage 20 damage you 20 damage. You and this Griffin. You see this night starts falling. No, brothers help me. And he starts falling with Bev senior. You see Bev senior just calmly falling next to him.

Whatever. Just another animal on the long list of beasts. I don't give a fuck about that. You're really leaning into this. He does gonna come after you. Yeah. And they can bring it. This Queensborough's thirsty.

That is Bev's turn. Wait, I get a second attack. Oh right, yeah. Take it. I'm so nice when you have such a good attack that the DM thinks you're done. Yeah, it feels really good actually. I'm just gonna relish this for a second.

I'm not done. I just have such a lot of things to drink. Actually, but just lay here. If I just lay here, will you guys lie with me? So clear down the tumour roll that I have. That's the first song I've had out of. So really? Wow.

27. Do you hit the other Griffin? Yes. You monster. I only am hitting Griffin's. 13 damage. Sweet. That's Bev Stern.

Can I misty step onto the Griffin and just like jab my sword right into the night? Yeah. Cool. Go for it. Cool. Yeah, you misty step onto the Griffin. It's right there to well within 30 feet. 27.

Super hits. I'm going to divine smite. Ah, get off my Griffin. You Griffin haters. You fight 30 devils. You don't. You don't deserve this Griffin. You love devils. You little devil. I'm deserve this Griffin. You love devils you little devil boy

I'm adopting this Griffin and I'm gonna name him something cool like Diablo and as soon as he comes out my ship I'll murder him in cold blood 33 damage on my first attack He's quite hurt. Yeah, you Absolute devil boy. I bet you feed this, I bet you feed this griffin' a high corn diet. You're not supposed to do that. I just buy the feed from the store.

You just buy the feed? I just buy the feed. You're supposed to keep them on a single pro, you die. You killed one of them. And you're killing it slowly. I'll put it out of its misery. You're gonna release them from your torture. I'm gonna release this Griffin back to the wild.

Like it deserves. That's a 16, does that hit? That does hit. Oh wait, no, that doesn't hit the night. Oh, damn it. It'll help the Griffin though. No, you already made your choice though. You made your choice.

Munchain. Okay, so currently the angel is on the ship. So if I cast Earth by none, it's not gonna fall on the sky. I mean, he's like flying next to it, holding onto it. I'll have him do his strength saving throw if he fails it. He'll get taken out of the sky. Okay, I'm gonna go for it again. You're gonna go for it again?

Okay, do it. I'm gonna do it. Roll in front of me. Yeah, let me go ahead and roll it in front of our boy. Hard one here. I got myself. Plus three to strength. I'm also close to you just letting everyone in home know. just you know, I just prefer Jake if that makes sense weird totally

Everyone think of the number. There's more there's more stuff on his a land side called Well, I've cleared a big space right there. You did you know, I'll go to call those Okay, no Today it's only an 11 You chose correct bye-bye. This night is bound. Devil friends, devil friends. That's right. I'll serve the devil.

A bunch of little devils. Don't let the ground hitch on your way out. Akaratsnasty thoughts, here we are. That is... Wait, oh you mean thoughts like T-H-A-T-S? Well, both. I'd say both. That is the After a... Wait, oh you mean thoughts like T-H-A-T-S? Oh yeah, well full, yeah! I'd say both. That is the night's turn.

His Griffin is going to take a full 160 foot dash action to get away from the chop. Hi! Ah, kiddo! I got there! You just hear deep below me, I've seen you go, oh, bam! Dory! Go ahead and do an opposed-strength check against this night as he tries to throw you off. 18.

Okay, you win. You guys are just wrestling. Do I throw him off? You do not throw him off because it was his turn to attack. So you just stop him from doing what he's trying to do, but he's pretty far away now. I will say the ship has at least that much speed. Bound or steers the ship sends it after the Griffin gets up nice and close for you guys.

That is Bev Seniors turn. You see on Bev Seniors turn, face steps back into the ship. That is hard one's turn. I high five Bev Senior, right as he comes in. I can't see, oh wait, I can't see Bev. You guys are close, you guys are like flying next to it. You guys are like chasing this Griffin in this night. I won't hit the Griffin.

That gives the same car kind of nod that you do when you see someone driving the same car. Nice. Yeah, the Jeep nod. Cool, so I give you like a salute with my left hand with my right eye sweet, eye sweet, the queen tamer at the night. Yes.

25. 25 hits. 10 damage. Sweet. He's quite hurt still alive. Let's see what I can do with the second attack. 18. 18 just hits.

Yes. 14 damage. Hard one finish him. Yeah. Baby needs a new Griffin. Awesome. I raised my hammer at the Griffin's head. a smile and wait a smile and wink at him And I just missed the grip and said and I knocked the night off

Okay, so you guys are out of come out of this little round of combat You guys have killed this angel and this night in this Griffin and now Bev is on this Griffin Bev go ahead and give me an animal handling check. Hell yeah. You got this bud. You got this. You were made for this. You are a surrogate.

You're a test. What is your role? I'm a girl to seven. You're a girl to seven. Can I use speak with animals? Seven AKA heaven. Bees great at it. I'll say as an action

You needed to do the animal handling check because you're like trying to calm it down and stuff I'm saying it's it's freaking out because it's got people fighting on its back and just saw it's a owner fall off So that's your action you could so use a bonus action a misty step or something But this thing is trying to like buck you off it is freaking out. Hmm, hmm. How close am I to the ship? You're pretty close to it. You're within like 15 feet. You don't want to waste a misty step. You could do it.

We have a rope. Yeah, you could jump that. Yeah, I'll let them know that I'm jumping. I say, I'm gonna jump. I put my arms out the window to catch my boy. Sweet, I already got the horn whip. Moonshine still has a turn, so I'll say, it's gonna be DC 15 athletics check

for Bev to jump to the flying machine. You can either roll with advantage because Moonshine is gonna help, or you can do the check, and then Moonshine can have Thornwhip ready and can attempt to Thornwhip Bev into it. If you fail, okay, which would you rather do? It's whichever you prefer,

because the dice are coming out of your hands. I trust Moonshine, a lot of Whitney. Okay. Okay. Which would you rather do? It's whichever you prefer because the dice are coming out of your hands. I trust moonshine a lot or with me. Okay. So Bev go ahead and do your athletics check. Okay. That's a nine. So you guys see Bev jumps and the Griffin moves at the last second and Bev is falling a little bit short of the flying machine. Moonshine, go ahead and try to thorn whip Bev.

Oh, you're okay, Bev. Woo! That's gonna be 25. 25. Fuck yeah. I love it when my trust is rewarded. Bev falls a little short. My fucking whip wraps around you like a lap and tongue.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,. Sucks him right up like a piece of spaghetti. Find her, it's good to see you again. Moonshine pulls Bev into the flying machine. You guys continue flying towards the tower. Okay, I'm gonna keep doing encounter checks as you guys get closer to the tower. Okay, you guys see another night and a griffin start flying near your flying machine. And you see one of these winged devils swoops down, grabs the night off the griffin, and

throws it off and continues flying away. Cool. Thank you, brother. We fight for the devils! Akiraad, more like. Hangton, more like. Hangton, my dudes. Most authentic brothers! Hang-666, more like!

In fact! Easy everyone, easy, alright? I don't know, I'm kinda getting into it. It's making me uncomfortable, dad. I don't like it. I carve anarchy sign into my forehead. That's permanent. I help cauterize it.

No, I- a restoration it. Thank you. Okay, so you guys have a few more encounter checks as you guys get closer and closer to the tower. You guys are getting within like, I'll say you guys are within like 400 feet now. Okay. Okay, nothing happens.

You guys are able to just like weave through battles. You see like, famorians and cyclopses throwing rocks and stuff and shooting crossbows from the tower, but it's all the guys around you and it's not at your ship. Suckers. Okay. Next encounter check. You guys see wielding a flaming great sword. His armor has like this red trimming to match this like fiery phoenix theme he's got going on You see Barrett brisden oh Start flying at your ship You knuckleheads you devil friends. I knew it. I knew you'd be here

And he flies at your ship and you see Bev senior looks at you guys and he goes Ship can't handle this guy this goofball. I got to handle him dad. No Well, no I told you you can't face Queen Ezra and him I need to fight him Okay, I told you bring face steps. No, I'm You guys see Bev senior face steps out as soon as he face steps out you guys appear right next to him It's you three guys and this angel all hanging in the air Bev senior grabs on to him

You guys want to do like athletics checks. I'll say a post athletic checks against Barrett Brisden If you fail you just fall it is now like, there's way too many of you, you can't carry all of you. 23. Ooh, okay, he's got a plus. Beverly is six. He's got a plus six. To athletics.

What did you get, Beth? I got a nine, nine, 17. Tell my dad I said hi. You guys misty step out. You see, Bev's seen your grabs onto Barrett Briston. Um, a moonshine you grab on to Barrett Briston. Beverly goes to grab on to Barrett Briston and Barrett just back hands him and you see Beverly flies off and Bev senior goes, you should have listened to me kid. Everybody roll initiative. Dood here.

Eight. Fifteen. Never got the listening patch, pa! Four. Okay. Um, that is Bev's senior's turn. Jesus, what the fuck is Bev's senior going to do? He just saw his boy get knocked out of the fucking sky. Um, can I just make eye contact with him and say, I got Bev, don't worry. I trust you.

He is going to attack Barrett Briston. And he hits. He does 24 damage. Bev Senior misses on the second attack. You see Barrett pulls up his sword. On his, on Barrett Briston's turn, Moonshan go ahead and do an opposed athletics check against him. 21.

He also got a 21 roll off. Oh dear. You say first. 11. 25. Yes, man. Moonshan, he wasted his fucking turn. Good, he wasted his fucking turn.

Trying to push you off. All right, I take it. Yeah, just a mail strum of fucking wings. Bev seniors is hanging on to him with one hand and Baton Adam this dude is Trying to swing back at you guys trying to push you off. That is hard one stern How close are they to the ship? Can I lean out and get a 30 feet because they missed he stepped oh, okay Is there anything I can do for Bev like throw a rope or is it too late as he's fallen?

Great question. Bev has just been battered away from Barrett Briston. Go ahead and roll a D4 and I'll say on a 4 he just happens to get battered like near the ship. And maybe you can use a rope or something to try to grab him. Great. I did roll the ship. And maybe you can use a rope or something to try to grab him. Great. I did roll the fork. Oh! Oh!

I mean, I can't argue with that. So you see, okay, I'm gonna go ahead. I will roll though. I'm gonna roll. Well, I'm probably gonna use my action to just sort of shuffle the speaking stone. Right, yeah. I want to change the tips. I like land on the way through. Yeah, this, I want to change the tips.

I like to land on the way to. Yeah, there was a snappy road trip music and it was really fucking with my head. Yeah. So Bev is... We're going down, down, in an early around. Bev is flying towards the ship. Go ahead and roll a, go ahead and roll a D6.

We'll say he's fallen 10 feet for every one you get. So try not to roll high I roll the three. Okay, so he is in it He's like arcing 30 feet below the ship. Tell me what you do. Hmm Can I throw down a rope to him you can throw like a javelin with a rope attached and? I've got a Beverly question. Uh-huh. Could I jump out of the airship with a rope and have like, and have Balnor tie it before, like, so I catch Beverly and swing back or...

I will have Balnor do a check to be real quick with it. I want to do it. Okay. I have Balnor doing athletics check, which is better than he has bad decks. Okay. Okay, so you are essentially just like, you saw them all misty step out, you're like, oh fuck, and you just like tied a rope around yourself and jumped out and just like, Boundler back me up.

Yeah, I looked at Boundler and I just said, figure it out buddy. So you're just gonna intercept me? Yeah, I'm just gonna intercept. I'm gonna basically dive out one window, try to catch you and then be swinging around the other side. Okay, I'm gonna gonna introduce that I'm gonna basically dive out one window try to catch you and then swing around the other side Okay, I'm gonna say to do that That's a DC 30 athletics check to grab a bev that'll be a 20 so I'll say you guys will still be okay Great and and Bound or I'll have to roll an athletics check I'll say that it might be nice if you say it out those so I could jump into your arms too. Oh, that's cool

All right, sweet. So I'm just gonna I'm gonna tie a rope around my Waste as I dive out the wind okay hoping to hell the bound or okay ties the other end Bound or it gets a 22 hell yeah, you see real quick. He ties it around fuck. Yes Down north the night we need you got it, but the night we need the night we need Go ahead and Night we need you got it, but the night we need the night we need save our day son Go ahead and roll and athletics check for you Damn dude, that is a nat 19 so 27 Hard one jumps out of the flying machine fucking ties a rope around a bouncer gets it around like a beam hard one swings down catches

Bev That is moonshine's turn moonshine you are Fighting mid air with these two guys and Bev senior goes I can beat this goofball. I don't have a death wish I can beat this goofball. I know I'm just trying to help you out I can beat this goofball. I know, I'm just trying to help you out. I thought you had me mad. I'm not mad at you. I was gonna turn into a burden, save your son, okay?

Everything was okay. I know you would save my son. That's why I trust you. All right, and then I hock a lugi onto bearer brisdom. Oh, disgusting. That's like a dirty piece of beer. You make me want a puke. You make me want a puke.

Is that all I want? Yeah, you're disgusting. Yeah, what else would you make? What else would you make? disgusting. Yeah, what else what else would you make? Comfortable what else would you look at for a boyfriend? What else would you make me want to do? Tell me tell me about it And then I use a massive platform to leap into hard ones arms I'm leaping I say hard one, you look gonna meet that PR. Hell yeah.

Ha. Go ahead and make an athletics check. I'll say to get to, yeah, to jump to hard one from Barrett, Brisbane. I'll say that it is a DC 20 athletics check to catch hard one perfectly and just like a 12 to get the rope. I got 15. 15, you grab the rope right above hard one perfectly and just like a 12 to get the rope. Okay. I got 15. 15, you grab the rope.

Right above hard one. I'll say like you land above him, like grab the rope, your hand misses it a little bit, and you like fall down a little bit and your ass just like crashes into his neck as like hard ones down there trying to hang on. I honestly prefer this. I'm sorry, hard one, I know you could have done I didn't mean to steal your glory

Moonshot is good to see you again. You're cleavage is right in my face though I'm so sorry y'all I am just Yeah, do you know girl? It is to the thickness God I don't got to worry about nothing with y'all around That is Beverly's turn. Okay. I guess I scramble up the rope. Sweet. Yeah. Cool.

I'll say it's 50 feet of rope, so it's actually gonna take you. That's like a full turn. Yeah, it's gonna take your turn. Okay, cool. I just climb up. So Bev starts scrambling up, and I give a thumbs up to my dad, the love gnome. Okay, if you can see me.

He gives you a thumbs up. I'm proud of you, but you scared me. Don't jump out like that. I'm sorry. It's okay. We all got each other's back. We all got each other's back. But that also means we got to trust each other.

I know, but. You see Bev's dad gets punched the face. He punches the guy back. It's just like full on dad fight at a basketball game. We got, they're like pulling their undershirts out from under the things getting each other in head loss. Yeah, it's getting real rough. Listen, Bros. before saving throws, that's all I'm going to say.

That is Balnor's turn. Balnor is just going to steady the ship. I'll say that he kind of had to use his turn to kind of secure the rope and everything. Right, the ship, Balnor. Right, the ship. That is Bev Senior's turn. He's going to take a couple cracks at Barrett. Missed on the first attack, hits on the second attack.

Does hit for another 19 damage. You see that these two dads are going at each other so hard. Just beating the shit out of each other. I'm in on Barrett. They're so sweaty. On Barrett Bristens turn, he has a fly speed of 120 feet. He flies 240 feet away from the Dead oh boy. I said 240 feet. Yeah. Oh my oh shit

I don't mind me second levels both of them mine But they go off and Bev senior goes I'll take out this knucklehead Be super peeved at me if we chase after him again. We should probably stay the course. I'm being responsible and I hate it! I think your dad's gonna be okay. I think he can take that knucklehead. I look ball-learned in the eyes and say, can you honestly tell me that? Your dad is super strong. He's stronger than that, dad.

And you guys look out and you see in the distance, just dragon ball Z fight. Just like, Bev Senior just face stepping away and he'll just fall and ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-blade clashing against Barrett Bristens. Yeah, I turned to Belonore and say, my dad's wily, he's fine. Yeah. What was I even worried about? I think I'll handle it. If he can hold off the captain there, Barrett Brisdens, yeah, I turned to Balnor and say my dad's wily. He's fine. Yeah

What was I even worried about? I think I'll handle it if he can hold off the captain there We might be able to get to this tower. All right. I help hardrun him when she ain't get back up sweet. Um you guys All get back up into the ship as you see this dragon ball Z fight of the dads this clash of the dads Yeah, the dance of the dad dance of the dad, this clash of the dads. Yeah, the dance of the dads. Dance of the dads in the distance. That's the sixth Game of Thrones book. That one, it's actually Dance of Dragons. Okay, oh, seventh, sorry. So, you guys, encounter check, there's two more encounter checks left

until you guys get to the tower. Next one, you guys fly through a bunch of demons and stuff. These strange things. We have a lot of devil horns out. You put your devil horns out? I'm an illusion devil horns on hiding. I'm a flint sight. Go ahead and give me a deception or persuasion check

with advantage. There are the good roles. A deception or persuasion you said? Yeah. It's going to be a 26. Wait, no, 25. This is a good roll to get a good roll. Yeah, you see these devils that pass by you

also throw up the horns. All right, we know the secret sign now. And just hiss at you and then go rip and angels wings. This is probably Bev from the stories you read and stuff growing up and everything you've been taught. This is so upside down to see devils pulling angels wings out and like ganging up on them, like flying monkeys and just like biting them and you're rooting for the devils. I do a quick pellore check in. You're like

this is fucked up right? Yeah you just see this big tan Santa Claus, I gave it a shrug. Okay. Bad part of travel is learning that everything that you learned was not full. It's important to experience other cultures and then see them get killed. It's true. Okay. So, tell me how you guys are proceeding. You have one more encounter check.

You guys do see that there is, what you can assume to be is King Lesterborn's chamber is this big circular room near the top. So there's a light on in there? Yes, there is like a dim blue light on in there. I guess we're flying towards the tower with the intention of jumping or parachuting. Try to like kind of like abandon ship just at the right time

so we can get on there. So, you guys see near the top of this chamber, you don't see any guards or sentries like hanging out of the windows or anything, all the most of the fighting's going on lower. But you do see that there is a cyclops and a femurian up on top of the entire tower, like hanging onto the spire, like fucking King Kong,

and just throwing rocks into the melee blow, just indiscriminately. So your options are basically to either try to avoid these giants and like jump out into one of the windows and ditch the ship, or you can deal with the cyclops and the Femorian and try to land atop the tower. What do you guys do? Okay, I would like to cast a fourth-level

Pauli Morph on the Fomorian. Ha ha ha ha! Okay, so this Fomorian is going to make a wisdom saving throw. You see, it doesn't even clock you guys as you guys are approaching in the ship. The cyclops finally looks up and sees you guys as you guys are getting close. This Fomorian is in the middle of throwing

this giant rock down at the people below. Literally just taking rocks that are structurally needed for the building, just these big dummies. Stop that, get me an idiot. And he rolled a natural 10, which is just going to be a 12. What are you turning him into? I want to turn him into a little devil. You just turn him into like this little like flying monkey devil. Yeah, I wanna say brothers, I'm a reinforce in the troops.

And then I go devil forever. You fight for us now. They start hissing. That's right. The blood of a goat shall flow on the ground. That's what they say, right? Am I doing? Oh, yeah, dude, you love the devil.

Yeah, we're gonna go, Bev. Big time, I'd smooch the devil for sure. You see this little demon monkey that the Fomorin turned into, tries to lift rocks. It's like too stupid to realize that it's not a Fomorin in the world. Oh, god, no. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Go ahead and roll initiative against the Cyclops though.

14, nine. 20 for me not that. Cool. Cyclops legit roll the Nat 20. Cool. So it's just gonna throw a giant rock at your ship. And hits. You guys haven't taken that much damage though. So I think it's gonna be banged up, but okay, okay. So it's still Skyworthy.

16 damage on the first attack. Still Skyworthy. It is at 60 HP and then it's take throw another rock misses Just lugs this second rock. I'll say throws the rock that the other that the monkey was trying to throw and You see the full-mourin monkey fully flies off the tower Join your brothers. That is moonshine's turn. Okay, you know what in order to save a spell I'm gonna try them bracelets. I got You know what, in order to save a spell, I'm gonna try them bracers I got. Oh! Oh! Nice.

Bussin' it out, dude. Go ahead and make a spell attack. All right. I just, I kiss both my bracers and then I just close my eyes and point them at the side-clops. This is sweet. 15.

15 does hit. Oh, yeah. So go ahead and roll, it's 2d8 plus 1d6 damage. OK. So go ahead and roll your 2d8s and 1d6. Oh, OK. 11. OK, so you're going to do 11 damage?

Do I add my spell, Takbona's or no? No. Go ahead and pick one of the numbers on the d8s. 7. 7. OK, it's going to do psychic damage. So you do 11 damage to this dude. You shoot a warbling mass of energy out of your gauntlet

and it hits the Cyclops and he grabs his head. No. No. No. Did you go to college, youngin? No. Is that thing I just took it away from you? Hey, the devil is real.

Just thought that, just thought that might blow your mind. I'm a friend of a white. Are you sure? You look pretty demonic to me. Yeah, grabbing your head, maybe horns is trying to poke through. It's very possible. It's a hard one, that's your turn. I'm gonna throw, I'll throw my javelin now. Okay.

And I'm gonna call Lightning too. Yeah. 18 hits. 30. Wow. Yeah. Looking quite hurt. Lightning too.

Then I flip them off. Okay. He flips you off. Oh. What did I do to deserve that? You're a friend of the devil, man. Friend of the devil is a friend of mine. No, I don't like that song.

No, it's great. That's bad, Stern. Okay, we're still far away. I'm going to minor illusion my javelin to look like a little pitchfork. Oh, you. I'm gonna rip your butt in all of the holy juice. All the holy juice is gonna fall out. How am I doing on this devil stuff? You're really your butt in all of the holy all the holy juices gonna fall out

How am I doing on this double? I think holy Jesus Get that holy juice from his ass Nailed that holy juice from that butt utter low. You will need a sacred bucket for all the holy juice about to spill forth Your wretched bum 15 15 does hit. He's just a big mostly naked guy. He's just a big dumb guy.

He's just a big dumb guy, yeah. I am definitely looking at that being like, maybe, beautiful that off, right? This, um, seven damage on the first one. This one's one up right. I know it's hard to find a quality loincloth when you're traveling. If you have, you could show me something like that.

I'll get a pop on it. I can find out most of us stuff's here. Really easy to pee and you just kneel. Right here. Oh, that's gonna hit 28. Yeah. Shia? I'll go ahead and do a smite on this one cool. Yeah only first level though

So just 15 damage on the second smite. Okay, he's looking pretty hurt That's all I can do cool. I realized that the Cyclops technically has poor depth perception and should should get disadvantage on a tax more than 30 feet away So bound or does pull the ship closer, but I'm gonna give him disadvantage on a tax more than 30 feet away. So Boundor does pull the ship closer, but I'm gonna give him disadvantage on his attacks here because he rolled the last one regular. Okay. So you see, hurls him.

Wait, where, how close are you guys? I can't totally make you out. Is that he's nearsighted or far-sighted? Which is that he's nearsighted. Okay. I can read. He's one-sighted. Shout out to can read. He's one sighted. Shout out to the two crew from this nearest sighted.

So I got, see as you guys get closer, he does put glasses on, one glass. Yeah. Little reading eyes. Once again, shout out to the two crew. You can drive. Although I guess he has glasses on when you guys are far away, he takes his glasses off as you guys get near.

But he does miss both times, Mochandah's your turn. Oh, it's my turn. Okay, how far are we? 30 within 30? You guys are like up on him now. Can I jump on him? Sure, yeah, you guys are like,

I'll say Balnor pulls the chopper right above. Hell yeah. I would like to jump on him and just fucking attack. Go ahead. Go ahead and attack with advantage because you're like attacking from over him jumping out of that ship. So Moonshan jumps out of the ship. So Moonshine jumps out of the ship wielding this flame blade

Rosalene and attacks this cyclops atop a spire. I'm gonna assume a 26 is gonna. Uh-huh. Dope dude. We gotta rename that sword at some point. Why? I kind of like, I kind of like that it's Rosaline because every time I say her name, I know I took her from going mad. I like that.

Let's just add a make-round over the O. Yeah, okay. Rosaline. 20. 20. 10. 20, fours and for six. Yikes.

You like her? Her name is Rosaline and she loves penetrating bad men like you. Oh, wow. You're spicy as hell. Hey, I can see you now. It's good to have you have a nice person up close. So you're a devil, I guess.

Yeah. We fight for the light. We've come for your holy juice. I'm here for the light. Yeah, I'm here to collect holy juice. That's hard one's turn. Sort of run a holy minute made. We're all looking for your ass juice hardwood takes in a little too far

Oh Asjuice man, he was I've ever really was no you keep it abstract. I'm tracked Okay, you know just hit it on the head like that man speaking of hit it on the head Ha ha. I swing my hammer. Okay, so you jump. Yeah, I quit nice I swing my hammer. Okay, so you jump. Yeah, I quit nice 20 dudes The good lug charm is to just say ask you yeah, are you jumping out? Are you like croquet swinging? Yeah, I'm jumping out right on top of his head sweet 32 Dude is right fuck. All right moonshine. You're like the angel and devil on either of your shoulder. Oh, finally, you can see, I have poor depth perception.

And the devil on both of my shoulders. Yeah. I came down here for the juice of your ass. It's green, I swing my hammer to the ass. You should learn, you could learn a lot from the all actually. Not at all. I know I have. Uh, 20, not that, but plenty to hit.

It could be more eloquent. I feel like it's really in theme with what everybody's been doing. I don't get how what I'm saying is different than what you're saying. 15 damage. Finish him. Oh, tell ya.

Oh, okay. World by Hammer, round my head, and strike him right on the ass, hoping to explode his butt cheeks and spraying Beverly with the juice from his ass. This is not what I wanted. Go ahead and roll a juice check. I'll say 11 through 20, his ass is full of juice.

One through 10, he's got a flat bed ass. Do I add a bit of juice? You just hit this concave ass, it's just raw. We don't add a bit of juice. It's 11 maybe. That's 11, That's a little bit of ass juice. Oh yeah. You popped him the juice. Is it summer?

Because it's sprinklin'. You popped one of his ass cheeks. No, where else? And he falls off the spire. And his ass explodes and Bev does get some ass juice on him. Oh, the juice is loose. I didn't mean to take it so literally. I couldn't help it This is very septic

Bound or Lance the chopper Atop the the roof here. Okay. All right. Well, I guess we'll just hope this will be safe for now It doesn't look like there's any guys up here at least just bring the keys. They'd have to be good at hot Why are you right? I know that there's a few keychain on there. We did clarify that. He puts an out of care being her. This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs.

They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now, we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult! Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, bird dogs invented a cloud-knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having

to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. it out of your rivals. for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Um, okay, so are we climbing up the wall? Did you guys are on top? You guys are on top.

So think of it, think of it like a fairy tale tower. You guys are essentially like on top top of Rapunzel's tower. Is there a little patio up here, like patio furniture? There's not a patio. You guys are on top. You're on the roof. There's a spider. Is there a little trap door to go in?

There is no trap door to go in, but you could climb down. You did see as you were flying close, that there were a couple windows. There's not a little... And I think we got to climb down and then swing our way to kick in to one of the doors. Yeah, okay. Is there like a balcony or like a...

Over, like, is there something we could like jump on to outside the window, or are we gonna need to like... We would need to repel in or climb in. But this was, you guys just know that this was not built for like King Leastaborne's comfort. This was built to keep him. Y'all, I have an idea.

I would like to lean over the edge, put my hands onto like as close to a window as I can get it. If y'all can like hold me down, hold me down, I'll put my hands on and then I'll cast Earth tremor to loosen the window so that it'll be easier to kick in. These are not like glass windows. It is just like open. Oh, so there's not bars or anything?

No. Oh, I have my hands around, and we're trying to think. I say never mind upside down. Never mind. I got down here. There's more taking shit. Listen, you always have a plan that's two steps to complex

and that's why I love you. I tie ropes to all of us so we can repel. Okay, okay. On Belay. Let's do what is on. Belay on. Sweet. So you guys are like, you guys are going to like tie ropes to this spire and then repel down

into the like the windows of this chamber. Yeah, mission possible stuff. Absolutely. Okay, cool. Go ahead and give me, I guess, like athletics or acrobatic checks. Caluca, let's do it. There we go, that's a roll. That's a roll my dad would be proud of.

17 athletics. Okay, ooh, 16 athletics. 22 athletics. Great. Bev with a lot of flair, repels. The, ah, ah, ah, ah. Bound or moonshine and hard one. Swandive. 22 athletics. Great. Bev with a lot of flair, Repels. Ball nor Moon Shine and Hardwood. Swindah.

Do an okay job. You guys leave this flying machine up. You guys tie ropes around your waist. Tie the other side of the rope around the spire. Pop-hop falls out my cleavage and I grab by the tail. Boom. Back in. And you guys did see that there were a few small windows in this top chamber.

So you guys jump off the roof and like your fucking firefighters kicking in a window, go through the windows in this chamber. We all pose when we land. You guys all pose. Like the Gini Force. Absolutely. Don't pop on front.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is in front. Yeah. So you guys enter this chamber. You're in the circular room made of this black stone. There's only one torch in here. And it's giving off a dull blue light.

It lights up the room just enough that you see the etchings of a madman all over the walls. You see things like theala, forgive me, the light burn them, burn them, burn them all, center, center, centers, save me, save me, theala, written all over the walls, like carved into the walls. Like somebody did it with like a fingernail or something.

Despite their being fighting all throughout the tower, it is weirdly quiet in this room. It's mostly barren saved for a raise platform on the other side of the room with a bed on it and there a man lies with his head in the lap of this extremely large femurian woman. She's probably about 12 feet tall. She strokes his head like a mother, comforting a child. You see he's got blue skin like Cyrilla. He wears a lagerine finery, but it's unwashed and soiled.

And you see he's just there shivering. His feet are bare. He's got white hair under his crown and huge bags under his eyes. You see his crown is burning him with radiant energy, almost like his head is on fire. And he squirms, and he cries out in her lap. It burns! There are sinners near, there are sinners near!

And you see the Femorian woman pets his head and goes, easy, my pets. The Allah sent you to me so that I could protect you. I am a friend of the light." This femurion has purple skin, a hunched back with boils and strange bone structure. She wears a long brown robe, she's got stringy white hair, and she looks up and acknowledges you guys on the other side of the room, but doesn't seem to care all that much that you're there. You see that she is wearing a crown of thorns. Like Sarilla, the crown is essentially part of her head,

but hers is much grosser. The thorns have embedded themselves so deep into her forehead that they've actually grown through her eyes. And you can see empty eye sockets with a crown growing through them. Oh. And she looks up, and she looks at you as if she can see you, and she goes,

so you've come. You've come to try to take my kingdom from me, have you. Oh yeah, this situation is very fucked up. You did a bad job with your kingdom. Did I? Yeah. Devil friends. Yeah, think of this as like, uh, what's it called?

Barm remake. Bar rescue. Yeah. Think of this as bar rescue, but for your kingdom. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, you're, you're gonna fix it up for me. Yeah, you're gonna serve one. Yeah, that's like really, that's pretty bad Yeah, you're gonna search. You're gonna fix it up for me. Yeah, you're gonna search.

You're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search.

Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search.

Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. Yeah, you're gonna search. we're going to do it all with the help of kettle one vodka. Hard one takes a big long a half of the kettle one vodka crick water. That's just housing chicken fingers. And she goes, there have been many silly queens over the years, but only one unsealy. And soon I will rule both courts.

You can try. You're, you're demredic and try it. I can try and I'll do. I don't gotta be honest. Doesn't look like there's much room on your head for another crown. Yeah, you're pretty occupied. Well, I was planning on just having this be kind of the catch all crown.

Oh, you really should have a second crown. Yeah. I just don't know where it would go because I mean your head is a whole bed of thorns. Maybe you could have turned that crown into like a Yamaha because it looks like you got space for a Yamaha something sensible. Well, the crown's all like up in my eyes. So maybe I could just put like another crown on top of my head. The fact that you didn't even think about having seasonal crowns all like up in my eyes. So maybe I could just put like another crown up on top of my head. The fact that you didn't even think

about having seasonal crowns? You don't deserve to be queen. Yeah, I can trust you. It skews you. It's like the first thing that has actually offended her. All of these false queens trading, passing up their birthright to each other. It's wrong.

I am one of the original fey. I come from a time when the courts were united and I will unite them again. Well, you're gonna have to defeat the queen of fungus and then I turn it into a symbiotic. Ah. That was, that was rad. I'm not gonna lie.

Well, you know what, I kind of respect what you're dealing to. Well, you got a vibe. I think in gonna lie. Well, you know what? I kind of respect what you're dealing to well, you got a bad I think a different in a different situation. You and I just you know would be predator. Yeah, you really got to get her laid. She's just putting out a lot of heat on everyone. What is she doing? There's a lot of hormones flowing through everybody. Yeah, you see, she stands up, she cracks her neck and she goes, well, if you want my crown, come and take it. Everybody roll initiative. All right, yeah, I got my semi against it, yeah.

Yeah, shout out to the two crew. It's like a waste, but I got a nap 20. It's not a waste. It's good. Quattro. Oh, turns into an eight. Moonshine, you are first. You see Queen Ezra, the unkind,

is getting ready to fight you. She just said her bad ass one liner after. You said your bad ass one liner and you're first to the jump. All right, that feels good. I'm going to go into rage. So now I'm both symbiotated against the end of rage. Wee.

Does a 14 hit. It does not. Well, I spores her for 12. She takes the 12 damage. You see you go to swing at her. You see she jumps back. She's surprisingly dexterous for being so huge and hunchbacked and clearly some kind of shaman or witch.

She jumps back, you slash part of her cloak. She does not get hit by the sword, but you spores her for 12. Yeah, that's right, I'm faked at you. She looks infected already. Yeah, true. A lot of boils. Don't take this for me. That is Queen Ezra, the Unkind's turn.

Munchain, you rush forward at her, you swing at her, you spores her, she hops back, she gets this sixth smile on her face and she goes, oh, so you're my first victim, are you? And you see, she opens up her palm, and there's a big meaty eyelid that opens up, revealing this bulbous eyeball with yellow snake-like quality. And it shoots out of her hand with this long optic nerve. It flies right in front of your face, moonshine makes eye contact with you and you're frozen for a moment paralyzed as she searches your mind.

You feel her combing through your memories. Like you feel her pulling things up against your will and you're frozen for just what in real life is a couple milliseconds, but it feels like several minutes as she's combing through your memories. And she goes, I am a seer. I can pluck truths from you. All I need is a little thread and I can weave a web. You feel her flipping through your memories. She goes,

let's see here. More or less an open book. Happy childhood. You see you running around with other quick youngins, being put in the time out bag. As you get older, you're now like in your early 20s. You see, Mama has babies. There are these little possum babies riding on Mama's back. One time you're over visiting Mima and Papa sees you and he chooses you. And he hops up into your bib.

And you see you cuddling with young Papa. Oh fuck, you monster. You see her continuing to flip through your memories. Yes, yes, the past was mostly good. The past was mostly good, but recently, recently, not so much. You see you the other night rolling around in bed alone, thinking about Bevin Arlen,

thinking about hard one in Gemma. Oh, and then there was the time this happened. Feel her flipping through your memories. And you see, you are reliving the dream you had with Marybel, where she visited you and told you that your true form was a fungal entity, and that you were one of her spores. And you hear Queen Ezra in your mind whispering, she told you she was your mother,

that you were a monster. That was a lie. The truth is more painful, I'm afraid. Your mother is jollying the green, but you've never met your father, have you? Well perhaps you'll have a chance to do that. When you meet up with the Crick Elves in Glade Home, you see a flashback of your mother jolly in the green in bed with a high elf. Your daddy's a high elf. I need a shower. I need a shower. Oh, God, I'm sick.

I'm just going to stick. Oh, thank you. Oh, somebody get a sacred bucket. Moonshine, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. You feel your heart begin to break. 18. 18 fails. What?

You guys see from the outside. Moonshine has jumped forward, swung her sword at Queen Ezra, the Unkind, she went back, you saw this eye shoot out in a millisecond, you see Munchine like Juts forward as if there was like some attack on her chest, on her heart that you haven't seen, and you see her skin begins to turn blue and icy, like you saw Beverly and

Moon one. For now you are just restrained but your heart is not fully broken yet moonshine but right now you feel like depressed and everything. Okay so unkind wasn't like an ironic nickname huh? You can speak yes. God this is like the road trip melancholyoly times, 1,000. Yeah, you feel like, moonshine, the feeling you got as she went through your memories is that she's a seer and a mind reader, if that makes sense,

so she can like pull a crumb from within your mind and then extrapolate from that to tell you some horrible truth to fuck your shit up. Dead zone style, yeah. And based on this, you can kind of assume that what has happened is to the Halflings, what is happening in King Leicesterborne here, is a combination of theala and queen

as we're making it worse. Wow, so they're not just like frozen, they are in their own private hell. You don't know totally Mooshine. I'm hating you. Mooshine. Hey, you're talking crazy. You guys, you guys didn't hear this by the way. So you don't even know what's going on. Hey, you're looking pretty chilly. Let me rub up those ankles. Yeah. Why'd you want to slap those calves?

Why would you want to touch me? I rub off on you. I just kind of like move her arms, like trying to do therapy. Hard one, that's your turn. That's nice, but when you're dead inside, you don't feel nothing. You see, Papa was able to feel what happened, and Papa looks out at Moonshine, he goes. For real, and looks out. So he is, he frozen.

He is frozen. Oh no, he's a Papa popsicle. He's starting to freeze. It's my fault. I did this for you. By dragging you on this track. Hard one, hard one that you're turned. It was selfish of me to ask,

and you want to be there for me. I slept with you on the ice. I will say that she is going to be redoing her saving throws at the end of each turn. But if you would like to use actions to try to snap somebody out of it, I will give them advantage on their con saving throws. Okay, so here's what I'm gonna do.

I, you don't need to try to save me. I, you, we, me here. Okay, the bright side of life, let's chip up, chip up, chip up. You know when you see, you know when you see a plant that's starting to die and you think, oh, you're past the point of saving with water, that's what I. Never once thought that. We just saw an eyeball go up to you and now you're freezing, what happened? I found out who I really.

Balmour, get her a sweater. Alright, hard on the chit-tern. I'm going to talk to you, my dwarf and daddies. Okay. Um, yeah, hey Hey guys you summon them The finally had to have time. Oh Crazy lady was working on these days. I'm gonna call you and we're gonna be a fucking hot top You all as hot tub today. Say hot tub. Yeah, then there's fight and hot tub this time Yeah, then there's fight and hot tub this time

Thorne lady much scarier than bear guy, right. I know this is the worst one. I'm such an ass Not a good one. I'm a total ass. You are not I know you a hot tub. I love you either at yep. I love you Fuck you. I will eat a rat. Uh, you gotta help me kill this blind ass queen. Okay, I could do that 20 to hit so you're so you got to do an action search or something because you that's an action Kill this blind-ass queen. Okay, I could do that. 20. To hit, so you gotta do an action surge or something, because you, that's an action. Oh, call your dwarves. God, oh shit, I wasn't gonna use my action surge to slap you. You can do that.

If you get close enough to moonshine, she was up in moonshine's business, so on her turn she will need to do saving throws. Oh, all right, cool. So I'm gonna, I'll tell my dwarven daddies, you guys just guard me real quick and then I'm going to kiss moonshine. Oh my god. But I'm going to put a piece of her hair across her upper lip.

It's amazing. Um, moonshine. You're feeling worthless, you're feeling like no one would ever love you. You just found out that the one thing that felt most important to you, your identity as a crick-of, is now in question, your your half high-elf, and then a hard one runs over and plans a big one on ya. Ha-ha. Uh-oh.

So on your turn, you will roll with advantage. You're beautiful. It is all I'm trying to say. That's Boundor's turn. So long as there's hair on the upper leg. Just a little bit. You don't need a lot. You know, I thought I wanted this

But no, I'm not so sure you see Balnor goes and goes this is fine You know we broke up hey broke up. Hey, we broke out. There's plenty of tuna in the river. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's good Balnor's gonna rush forward and he's gonna take a couple cracks. He actually hits he hits on the first hit I inspired Balnor swing on her eight damage, this is fine, I'm just attacking, because that's what you do. Does a bunch of damage, do her. Do not let that itineracle get anywhere in your Balnor. Misses the second attack.

She is going to take a legendary action. Oh, and she is going to make an attack, hard one, she looks at you, and she goes, oh, you think you can save her? I think she can save herself. That's so woke. You see, vines shoot out from her thorny crown.

That's a 20 to hit. That is going to hit, but I'm gonna also whip my hair up into a really tight man bun and use my hellish rebuke. Great. Yeah. Okay, let me roll my damage for her. You're about to get rebukeed.

27 damage, hard one. Cool. And then go ahead and do your Helish Rebuke. So she'll do a, I think she has to do a deck save. I'll say a deck save. I don't feel like looking it up right now. She fails. So go ahead and do 2D tens of damage.

And did she come into my zone? So she fills her out the my Dorf Daddy's? A. She is, yes. She is within the range of your dwarf daddy, she will take it at the beginning of her turn. Okay, so that's 15 damage to her on my health's, health's reviewed. Damn.

Wasn't the beginning of her turn, just, didn't, just have to. No, legendary action. That is Bev's turn. I have a quick question for y'all. Maybe I'm reports boring it. And I'm like, moonshine, chime in. If you feel up to it, hard one.

Should I hold the reaction to try and chop off those stocks when they come out? Ooh, I don't know. I think you got to just fucking smack. Okay. I'll do that Moonshine All right two votes of confidence for that plan Yep, everyone's on hard ones Everyone's on board and loving it. Okay. Thank you for your help.

You got to attack. You got to just beat him down. Just pour yourself into the work, Cal North. You got to stay focused. Okay. Alright. Everybody's kissing, but we got to fight, you know. Here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to cast protection from evil and good on hard one. Okay. And that protection grants benefits. One willing creature is protected against Faye. She is a Faye, yeah. Okay, so hard one gets protection against the Faye. Also cannot be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. Sweet. Wow, that's gonna come in handy as well.

And as a bonus action, I will activate my reroll sword. Great. Cool. Good turn. Okay, at the end of your turn though, she is going to use a legendary action to use her eyeball thing again. This time, she is going to target hard one.

Hard one. You see, does that protection not help at all? This is literally the flesh to stone spell with flavor. All right, so it's nothing. Untone by flavor once more. But she just fucking hit him for like 30 damage on an attack next time she'll roll with disadvantage. So it's not useless.

Okay, hard one, she's going to take a legendary action. She opens the other palm and the eye opens and shoots out. She makes eye contact with you. Yes, I have two. Hard one, you don't have anything to hide, right? I'm an open book. Hard one, this is all happening in a flash. Bevin Balanore probably don't even fully have a concept of what's going on because what happened to moonshine look like eyeball just saw her and then all of a sudden she's just like, what? Crying and then just like turning into frost.

So hard one, all in an instant you are paralyzed and you feel her start to go through your memories. That was long. Keep the walls up. Take down the walls. Take down these walls. First off, first off, this one seems particularly painful. You see, Gemma dead in your arms on the balcony in Frostwind. How fun with that one. A lot of good ammo there. Let's stick with this one.

You blame yourself for this one, but I suspect you're learning to forgive yourself. Yes, you see, she starts to flip through more memories. You see you and Gemma, she's the angel, her hands are pressed up against yours. Yes, yes. What else do we have here? Traumatic childhood. Everyone has a traumatic childhood. You see she flips through you, crying yourself to sleep at the orphanage, getting picked on by other children. I was the man. This is why you got a passcode and cryptophone. Finally, she stops on a deeply, deeply buried memory

of you as a baby. Oh. You don't even fully remember this. This is something that you haven't thought about in a long time. You're being held by your mother. You're looking up at her and she seems to be running from something. She's very concerned and stressed out and you as her baby in her arms are starting to like take on her emotions and you feel yourself starting to get upset.

But then she takes a moment, she gathers her breath, she looks down at you, she sees that you're concerned, that you're getting upset, and she smiles at you. And in that moment, you feel safe. And you hear Queen Ezra go, ah, there's something guilt. You see flashes of the widow fighting glad than other scenes of her being dragged away by the chosen from the tunnels from the Galatoron tunnels where she was hiding out when you guys accidentally

gave up her position when you guys got spied on by the scrying sword. You found a good one, I want a doozy. And obviously you never saw any of this stuff, so again, she's like pulling from what you have there and extrapolating, but on the whereas I is twitching, what do we do? Then suddenly you're back in your memories, you do remember doing this, you see yourself

chopping Galad's head off. Then she shows you what happened to your mother in that moment. You see she's bound by shackles and being guarded by chosen soldiers. And the moment you kill Galad, she shoots up with a jolt, single tear rolls down her cheek, and she disintegrates, and that appears again in Shadowfell this dark dreary place. The person who brought you into this world, and you sentenced her to an eternity of suffering. For what?

To punish Galadro's hell?zel? Let me tell you something. You failed. You think you took Galad's head. But all you did was place a crown atop it. You see sitting a top a throne of bones is an undead galad rose. No! Pale skin, his once blonde hair is now white. The Allah did not bring galad back to the material plane, but she is using him as her main lieutenant in Shadowfell. He rules there in her stead. You see covered in chains, head hanging low with black hair covering her face is the widow. She cries thick tears of black, suddenly glad yanks her chain and her body is shocked with necrotic energy and she lets out a terrible yell You are a bastard indeed Go ahead and roll a constitution saving throw

God you asked God you asked You couldn't have just done him wetting his bed or something But I don't feel like I deserve it cuz I'm shaken 22 you you feel your heart break and you feel the effects of the curse start to take you. And then you just get this overwhelming feeling, this confidence, looking at all your friends around you, looking at how far you've come, that you're going to save the widow, and you're going to take glad's head off again, and you break out of it, hell yeah.

You can't break what was already broken. That's so emo. That is thinking about writing a song. That is Bebs turn. There's nothing I can do against that eye. I'm almost like curious at this point. I guess I don't know what's happened to them. So I'm just like, what's going on?

Hey, did you do a magic trick that was really good? Yeah, what's happening? You guys seem rattled. Oh, I'm shook. Should I chop her hands off? Is that what I should do? Just killer. Oh, just fucking killer aim for me I'm gonna do shit it saved me the blow. No fucking kill me my mother gave me my life and all I did was dammit Hell kill me

Okay, you're fine. Don't kill me, man. She's blue for some reason. Oh, blue. I just thought on the outside. I was really, if you could just stop in the up for myself. Hard one is not immune to like the actual emotional trauma of everything you just went through. He's just not physically cursed. Can I, all right, as a bonus action,

can I like make Moon Shine some tea? Or some Moon Shine already is gonna have advantage on her role so you can't do much more. I know you can give her a plus four if you get up close if you get up next to her. I think he was already, I think I was already within her. He isn't attacked yet, so he's on the other side of the room. I gotta attack, but I'll try and get back as best I can.

I'll give you a target or not. I'm gonna... Moon back as best I can. I'll give you a target or no. I'm gonna shine. All right. I know what. I stuffed my ears with tuna so that I can't your moon shines dire please. I have to be going on with these two. That's good.

You're going no, bud. I think they got a little too much. I want, when you kiss me, you're trying to kill me, right? I think I fucking wish. You stay away from me. Everything I love turns to death. I think I got a little too hopped up on the Holy Juice. Oh boy.

I'm talking about this. But I kiss me back if you want to go to hell. Does 18 hit, 80 just hits. Okay, I'm gonna do a third level Divine Smite. Yeah. I don't know what you're doing to my friends or what you think you're doing with the light, but you are misusing it,

and it's a little more than a misdemeanor, my friend, and I'm afraid that Pelor's gonna have to put on his normal khakis, he's gonna have to take off his beach pants and come over there and teach you a dang lesson. 32 damage on the first attack. Nice. Fuck yeah, dude.

I don't like this. I don't like what you have done to my friends Next we'll come through you next. I don't like this is a bad goof All right, a goof us unceiligate goofs except for goblins I guess they like goofs. Yeah, they seem cool. They can hang 25 hits all right cool Yeah, let's just do another, I'll do a first level smite this time. Sweet. That's 12 more damage.

Nice. And do I have enough movement left to get close enough to moonshine? You're all up in the mix. Okay, great. You guys are all up next to her. Cool. I just try and get close and like provide body warmth.

Like when you are lost in the woods and you need to sleep next to your best friend. Great. I'll tell you the story sometime. Moonshine, that is your turn. You are restrained, so your speed is zero. Can I gas to spell? Creature speed becomes zero and it can't benefit from the bonus of speed. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage. Yes, you can cast spells actually. Okay. I'm gonna be honest,

I think we should take all the weapons out of our hands. I think as hard one kisses me, I say, I don't deserve you. And then I cast a fourth level enhanceability to give everyone bears endurance so everyone has advantage on constitution checks. That's what she's been doing, right? It's been constitution checks that we do against her.

She's going to cast counter spell. What level spell is your spell? Four. Oh, okay, she needs to roll for this. Because I'm doing four to do it on hard one, Beverly, and Baltimore. So the DC equals 10 plus the spells level. Okay, so she needs to beat a DC 14.

She gets a 24. Okay, so she needs to beat a DC-14. She gets a 24. So she counters your spell. You really don't deserve it. I know, I asked. Don't listen to her. Ha ha ha. Shut up.

That is now the end of your turn. Go ahead and roll to break the curse. I look to hard one in Beverly to see if they agree with what she just said. You can't see me because I'm hugging your leg, so I'm out of your line of sight. So I got 18, so I don't get it. That's just short of it.

So her voice echoes in my head, and I can't see anything in your faces. And you guys see. Just call the hard one. You guys see the frost continues to crawl up moon shine skin from her legs. I knew it was gonna fucking kiss her. What about pop off?

Oh, you see he, you see frost takes over pop off for. If I like grabbed him by the tail, would he be like a perfect little stick? You see Frost takes over, Pop-O's fur. If I grabbed him by the tail, would he be a perfect little stick? Yeah, his tail is completely frozen. That is her turn. She is going to, first off, need to make a saving throw to not get hurt by the spirit daddies. She saves, but she's gonna take half of this 3D8, hard one.

Cool. 12, so she takes six. She's starting to look a little messed up, but you can't totally tell because she looks messed up by default. She has thorns coming out of her eyes. Yeah. I'm already a little messed up. Yeah.

We're fine though. Okay, she on her turn, she's allowed to actually make one attack and cast a spell. She is going to first off dispel magic on the spirit daddies. You see them go. No. See if you're a fucking hot top party. You're a bad, they're fucking call us, man. I can't say this as moonshine because she's frozen, but I love them! Um, and then is going to take an attack against Beverly. Bring it on!

Come on! You seem to be the mentally strong one here at the moment. Oddly enough, actual natural one. She fucks up big time. How's that light for you? Where was that when I uh... plug in when she tried to counter spell me? Yeah that would have been nice. I tried I mean successful the counter spelled me. That is hard once turn. Okay. Um... Hey I deserve what you gave me but this one's for moonshine. I swing my ham router. I'll use a luck point cuz I rolled three This one's for pop-up. Where?

20 hits 14 damage Okay, and I'll swing a second time this one's for Bev Shout out to the two crew. Oh, wait. I'll use the luck point. Okay, I'll burn them all Shout out to the two crew. Oh wait, I'll use the luck point. Okay, burn them all. Shout out to the core four. Oh, keep it's around.

Keep it tight. At the end of your turn, she's going to use two legendary actions. Well that just seems like a lot. To use her little eyeball thing again, the eyeball thing costs two. So that's good. Okay, it's good that it takes two.

Yeah. And this time, she is going to direct it at Beverly. See the one that was focused on moonshine, she's still cursed, but it floats over and hovers in front of Bev. Look at that. You are paralyzed. Even evil eyeballs don't want to be near me.

And Bev, she begins combing through your memories. To your worst. You hear her go, oh, I don't have to go very far back for you. Who would have known that a boy of such faith could be so unfaithful. No, she pulls up the very recent matter of you kissing Taran. Then it shows Erlin in Hillhom, pulling a picture of you and him out from under his pillow.

He looks at it, and then he presses it against his chest. He lays on his back and he just stares at the ceiling. You'll be happy or horrified to know that he hasn't done the same to you. Of course he wouldn't. No, he's working hard to impress you. See, he feels useless. Like he can't help you. I can't imagine how useless he'll feel when he finds out. No, he's No, he's he's my light. He's my plurr. He always was. I strained. You see she continues to flip through your memories. I'm not sure done enough. She stops on an image of your dad. Oh, what's this? It would seem that being unfaithful runs in your family.

What led you to this path? Yes, I see. He is the cause of all of this. You know where this ends. He was our prisoner. You see your dad chained up. This big, femurian giant whips at his back. He's being questioned by a drow, but he won't say anything. Eventually, he passes out from the pain and is thrown in a deep hole with a grate over the top. He's bound by dimensional shackles, days pass. Every once in a while he's thrown some water, they

just like dump it over the cage and he just like opens his mouth up and hopes that he catches some. He's thrown some rotten food every once in a while. And then one day, the cage opens. The femurian guards outside have been killed. And a black gauntlet pulls your father out from the hole. He saw that the odds were stacked against you, that you couldn't beat the aah without some compromises. He did it so that you wouldn't have to, if you say it, you see Bev's senior shaking hands with Akarat.

This attack was coordinated. These devils attacking our tower are not here by accident. They are fighting for you, Beverly Togalt, enemy of the lights. You said it, and now there's only one path for you. I hope you're happy. You may have told me the truth, but it's led to your own death. And I'll take that, and I'll walk with it, and I'll have it, and I'll wear that guilt. I'll wear that guilt like a crown. And it will make me strong. And we'll get through this together.

If you don't freeze first, go ahead and roll a constitution, say, throw. 11. Go ahead and roll the constitution. Yeah, throw. 11. Beverly, your heart breaks as much as you try to put a brave face on your heart breaks. And you feel from your feet moving up to your shins and your knees, your legs, you begin freezing. It was because of me.

And you, because I wasn't strong. As you guys think back, Bev Senior has not been using any palette in spells. He has not lay hands on anyone. He has not cast cure wounds. He has not done any of these things. He got his hands dirty and he couldn't touch hands anymore. Honestly, who's clean?

Who's clean? That is... Blue looks good on you though. Thank you, that's very kind of you say. It's not something I've ever said. He's trying to keep it light. Anyways, I'm just gonna go stay in the corner. That is Balnor's turn. For everybody. Balnor's turn. For everybody. Balnor.

Curse. Oh, but I am. I'm gonna say, I'm full of you. Just so we don't have to do a ton of exposition and have people telling each other, all the same, you guys are sharing these things with each other.

So on Balnor's turn, Balnor is gonna use his action. He's gonna slap you across the face, Bev. And he goes, I don't know what this means, bud. Your dad might be gone for a while, but we're gonna save him. We're gonna save him all. Because you're strong, and I'm strong, and moonshine's strong, and hard ones strong, and pop us strong. And we're the band of boobs, baby. and pop us, and we're the band of boobs, baby. That's Mack, and he's laughing across the face. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, Beth, that is your turn. You are restrained.

You don't do your saving throw until the end of your turn, but in the meantime, you can attack with disadvantage or you can cast a spell. Yeah, I'll just attack with this advantage. Cool. I feel like I have nothing else. I kind of drag my sword along the floor. Even if it's true, you had no right to say it.

I only speak the truth. 14. You're just flail like. It's the floor. Can I take... Oh, just one attack? You can do it again. Attack again.

Shout out to the two crew. The most somber two crew. Can I reroll that? Yes! Ooh! Okay. Yeah, you do right that blade. 15.

Does not do it. Another flail. At the end of your turn, she is going to attack you. So she's going to attack you with advantage. You see, once again, the thorns and vines shoot out from her crown. That's a 27 to hit.

She's super hit. She's a big name, mommy. What? 25 damage, Bev. That is? Do I get to make a saving throw now? I'm so sorry. Yes, you get to make a saving throw

I you can make it with advantage because of Boundore Because of Balnor Thanks daddy Balnor 13 plus 417 plus 219 Bev you just bust out of your chest able to you emotionally you're still fucking distraught, but you're able to break the curse My daddy's a big devil. He's a big devil fan Yeah, those devils just

Clear the way for us, huh? I gotta be honest looking out there. I don't see devils and angels I don't see good. I don't see right and wrong. I don't see black and white. I just see gray and gray Hey, we just love the side of the devil on the way. And now it just wasn't a bit. That's all. That's my turn. We walked right into that one. All right. I mean, I know, Papa, I'm gonna get us somewhere. We can just, you know, get out the way. Keep everyone else safe. Take our tails between our legs. Before then, I guess I'm gonna try to do another. I'm gonna try and do a third level on hand's ability so that hard one and Bev have advantage

against constitution saving throws. Okay, she's going to cast counter spell. Then I suppose that is just, well, you know, I'm bleeding her over spelt slots. But what am I to expect? What do I have to offer? Munchan go ahead. She who was a druid and tried to pretend like she was a barbarian. What because she went into battle and she couldn't do the big fancy hits like everyone

else so she tried to mold the class. Moonshine, maybe your dad's cool. Maybe he's like the worst high elf. Maybe he's like a real shitty high elf. I have a really dirty high elf. Yeah, like real nasty. Like maybe he's got a bathtub outside. Beverly, it is the testament to your kindness

that you even wanna assuage the insecurities of a rat like me. Oh yeah. I'm much ahead of making your cry. I'm saving through. We're learning a lot about our dads today and it's not making me happy. I got it. Oh. I got it.

I think I did. I got 22 push. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. You got a nasty dad. Oh my god. My dad's dirty. I got a dirty dad. My dad's dirty. dad. Oh my god my dad's dirty

He got down with B ma he's gotta be dirty, right? He's gotta be a freak. He's gotta be a freak Gotta be a freak. And Masty Fah. You think Bima would just get down with some random ass hile? That's right. She's getting, she's getting dad with some dirty ass hile. Gotta be a freak. Stay kind of be a freak to get what you're in. Hulk, if you nasty, freaky father, you're out of hunky father.

Stop, stop learning confidence from each other. Hulk, Hulk, Hulk, stop it. That is her turn. She's going to Jesus. Oh my goodness. Okay. What's up, the nasty horn. We back boys.

Yeah, I start beat my chest. Yeah. Yeah. My dad's nasty. You got a dirty bad. What? Kiss Yeah. Yeah. My dad's nasty. You got a dirty bed. What? Kissing. Yeah.

My dad's nasty too, but it's less fun, honestly. I'm not gonna dwell on it. I'm into where your dad's at. Okay, we'll talk about that. Well, you know, I'm not with those insinuations. Okay. You see, she goes, Okay, enough with it.

Oh, and I spores her for fucking 12! I forgot! Yeah, I forgot to go to that freaky fungus! I'm being my chest, I'll loose up something freaky in there and I'll honk it on to her. Oh my god. Clean your horn out, honk honk your gums. You honk onto her. So I want to say it's like a little slushy, like a little bit like a 7-11 celebrity. Sure. Just because I was just frozen. Yeah. Big

gulp. Oh, it's like a coke slurvy. It's all brown. Yeah. That's a best part. Yeah. She is okay. All right. That's her turn. Like a blue rat. All right. That's enough tricky stuff. She just shoots a bunch of lightning at you guys. Chain lightning lightning Everybody give me a dexterity Wow Add four to that boys and girls 23 22 11 Bev you do not pass

Other guys take half damage from this I probably take like what like five damage It's just fucking quick 10-de-eight Five damage. It's just a fucking quick 10-D-A. Hahaha. Hahaha. 38 damage. Okay. So the rest of you guys take.

Cap. Yes. So the rest of you guys take 19. That is hard one's turn. Okay, I just got to get through this so I could get a second head from Galad Rosal. Hahaha. I think we need to have a night in. Yeah.

We gotta sit by around a campfire and just talk for a while. I got this TV show we could wash together. It's called The Fall on Netflix. Ha ha ha ha. Are you on that show or something? Why do you promote it so much? 2.2 million Anderson and a bikini. 17 to one piece.

17 does not hit. Oh wait, I'm gonna use luck point. Okay, last luck point. Wow, I love all the stops, yeah. Ooh. And I got a three. Please, luck points are not to it. I'll use my second attack.

Okay. Shout out to the two crew. Oh, so. You are, it's like you're not cursed, but you are being affected. Oh, yeah, definitely you're faltering. I'm affected. I'm affected I'm affected. I'm gonna use my second wind. Okay cool She is going to use a legendary action and she is going to Shoot her little vine crown at Beverly to shoot her little vine crown at Beverly.

That hits, that was a 21 to hit. Hits. It's very hard for her to miss. She has a lot of stuff, 25 damage, Bev. Whoo, that is. That's looking hurt. Bound or is turn. Bound or is just gonna charge forward and take some swings.

Misses on the first attack, misses on the second attack just like me Balnor Yeah worth listen, we damned our mothers to hell I couldn't save my family. I guess I feel sad I'm a piece of shit. Hey, thanks Balnor. Hey, no problem, man that is At the end of Balnor's turn You know what she's gonna cast Chain Lightning, use two legendary actions to cast this spell.

You know what, we knew we weren't perfect. Guys, go ahead and give me Dex saving throws. Okay. 14. 12. 19. Bev just saves. Moonshine, you're gonna take the full thing,

rest of you guys take half. I'm probably still. I ain't afraid, I ain't scared. 33 damage. Okay. So 16 to anybody who takes half. I'm down. Bev goes down. Okay. That is Bev's turn. Go ahead and give me a death save Bev. Ah, love to death save. Oh no. Oh, shut out to the two crew. That's one fail. Oh, Oh no. Oh shut up to the two crew. That's one fail. Moon shine. That's your turn. I'm gonna attack this bitch. Does it?

This is a 17 hit doesn't okay, then I'm gonna heal. I'm wearing my boy bad. Thank you. She is going up what level? I'm doing third level. She counterspellspells it how many fucking counter spells you got up your damn sleep bitch Hey show me your spell slots how many spells slots you have I'm not gonna show you that I'll show you after I'll save it for this short rest Does anyone have a fucking does anyone have a fucking potion? That is haven't seen a potion and... CURTURN! On her turn, she's gonna cast Chain Lightning again. Can't hit me if I'm dead. Everybody go head she could, but she's gonna hit Balnor instead.

Everybody go head and give me... Dex saving grace. Hey, I'll have to revive me because I forgot to- I got a Nat 20 bitch! Does that mean I jump in front of her and wanna save him? Does- I got a 20, so maybe Balnor. Damnmit. I jump in front of Balnor and save them. Let me see Balnor actually saved you guys all only take half. All right You guys take 21 damage each including Balnor that is hard ones turn I don't think I have anything for Bev

Can I shove his own amulet in this space? No. Okay, so I'm just gonna- Just run it on my gums. I'm just gonna try to swing my hammer out or then. Sweet. You killed my goddamn little brother. Well. 17.

Does not hit. I know it. Oh my god. I got a four. Yikes. Oh my God. I got a four. Oh, yikes. This is terrible. Yeah. She is going to use the legendary action.

Shoot her little vine whip thing at you, hard one. She hits. They should eyeball begin, just make it feel guilty. At least that doesn't hurt him. I think she's all that eyeballs. 23 damage, hard one. You okay? Yeah. Yeah. Oh that is. I pitched. Bound or turn. Bound or still pretty healthy. It's gonna charge at her. Mrs. on the first attack. Hits on the second attack. Crits on the second attack. Yes. Yes. Oh. This is bad.

This is bad. This this is bad, again. This is bad, this is really bad. Yeah, why do I fucking crit? I'm a fucking deck save, not- He does 16 damage to her. She's looking pretty messed up. Please revive me so I can use my true strike. Otherwise everyone will be mad at me.

At the end of Balnor's turn, she takes another attack on hard one. She hits. 21 damage, hard one. Okay, still up. Nice. That is Bev's turn. Bev, go ahead and give me a death save. Okay.

I waived to hard one's mom. Matt 20, Matt 20. Jesus Christ! Another two. Shout out to the tuk crew again. Oh dear me Oh dear dear dear dear dear me No Jesus no I have so much to do I have a a very full-docket

of a very full docket. Moonshine, that is your turn. Okay, I want to throw something out the window to distract her and then run over and healing word Bev. Oh, you want to do like a sleight of hand check or something to like throw an axe at her or something. So she like, yeah. Dot tries to dodge out of the way. Yes, okay.

I just want to distract her so she can't counter spell. Go ahead and roll a sleight of hand check against her perception. 13. 13. What do you have in your pack that you're going to toss at her? Throw the jar and then her flies back. Oh my God, that's so funny.

Jar Shatters, nanoflice, they're flying around the room. Oh, they're flats. What is this? Go ahead and cast your hero. I'm a hero. No, actually, I'm touching him, so I'm going to do a cure wound. You're going to do a cure wound.

Moonshab. Peak behind the screen. She's out of counter spells. Oh, fuck me. Okay. That is gonna be a 24. 24. 24, you're up there.

Come back. I pop back up. Stand up straight. Then instantly take a knee and bow. To my new queen. You are worth worshipping. I know what you did and I know the sacrifice it took. I may have decimated an entire species that I committed my life to propagate in.

This genocide is just an enterprise filling the room. This genocide will not be in vain. entire species that I committed my life to propagate in this genocide just nanorflies filling the room this genocide will not be in vain they're not dead they're just flying around you just like brought them to the to the winter body on your turn just like grab a few um this is her being a complete dickhead and I'm so sorry but how much she she has to do this legendary action whips at best Natural 17 she super hits wait 17 natural 17 she got like a 29 to hit I roll the 17 she has a plus 12. I got you. Okay 21 damage. Oh, thank God guys. I still standing still up still on his feet. That is her turn. She's starting to get frazzled Why won't you?

Nanner flies to say Nanner flies to send Does she take any damage from the Nanner flies no one damage? She takes one damage from the Nanner flies. Yeah She is going to take one attack against Bev. That is 22 to hit. No matter what, she takes it out. She knocks you back out. But your death saves a restarted,

so you're not gonna die. That's pretty beautiful, that's cool. That's a bad, it's great, honestly. You don't have to think. You don't have to dwell on stuff. I recommend. You do see she is going to cast, she does the eyeball thing to bowel nor. He's found her just, he's really good.

That's how this is such an open wound. He's kind of did a gentle version of this to him. He's like starting to be frozen. Oh no. That is your turn, hard one. Let's see if I can hit for fucking once. 19. Hit.

Yes. Dude, is that true? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. I'm not a fire. Jeez, I would've been way more excited. 19 damage. Hard one.

Finish yours. Yes. Oh! Good Lord. you little queen bitch. You showed us every bad thing we ever did, but what about you? You kidnapped a king, took over a court, made a deal with the fucking wannabe god, and then teased a little boy. You are a showed of everything of shit. I showed him the truth. Moonshine. Hit her with a nanorfly. I shoved the shards of nanorfly jar with a couple

nanorflies left down her fucking throat. Let's see if that won't reach. Jesus Christ. Yeah, you take... I said go, breathe in her gut. You take the shattered jar and you cut her with a piece of glass and you see the Nannerfly smell the blood and all go and fly her out. No, no, no. Yeah, we think you put a very reason. There, Melissa, as she is eaten alive by nanoflives. You see her crown begins rapidly expanding with more vines and thorns, essentially consuming her.

It rips her apart from the inside. You see it grows inside from behind her eyeballs. She lets out a horrible screech, and she just explodes as there is nothing left of her And then you see the vines retract and reform the crown and there's just this crown the crown of the winter court This crown of thorns lying on the ground Bellor Oh, you see let's use a real let's use a glove to pick that one up. You guys see King Lesterborn.

His crown stops shining as brightly. This crown that looked like it was burning him. It seems like Queen Ezra was perhaps exacerbating whatever was going on with him in addition to whatever Theolo was doing to him. He no longer appears to be in physical pain, but he still got the madness in his eyes, and he goes, what's up, you don't? Theolo will punish us for this.

She will punish us. God, it's forgive me. He begins running towards the window. Oh shit, we tackle him. Yeah. And that's where we're all. No. Ah! I'm still barbarian because that should,

the frozen shit didn't know we had to be in barbarian, right? No. I'm dead, so he trips on me. Doh. He's all, yeah. God, lot to discuss on the short side. Lots on packs. Lots.

What a, usually you just like hammer in on one of us, all three this time. Yeah, we were all punished. Like to beat on everybody, you know, I like moonshines What's perhaps the most jokie but the most hurtful? True to fine cuz she hates the high-offs so much. Yeah Mine is probably the one that just fucks us over the most, huh? Oh, yeah Yeah, oh, no, it's just it's just early and you guys will survive but then I was like oh no your dad

No, but I don't like, oh no, you're dad. You're dad. Let's do forget. No, but I don't know we got to hear him out. I mean sure we'll hear him out. We got on the doubt. And you know what else will hear out the short rest. Nice. No, to patreon.com slash nabod that's any DDP OD. Oh, I'm saying that. Guys, we got some things to plug. Watch hot data on Netflix, me and Emily Sketch show. You can also buy our book, Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call into Emergency Contact.

It's a satirical relationship advice book, you can get it on Amazon or on Audible. Call though what you got to plug. Ooh, you should check out Cartoon Hell on dropout, signup.dropout.tv slash nathpod, I believe. We'll take you there. Is that true? That is true.

Great. And it's a show that I made with Nathan Yaffe and some of my other friends, Jacob, Andrews and Julia Lepetit, a lot of fun drawing that we do on that show. And it's also on Hell but fun, unlike this show, which is in Hell and sad. Right.

And how do people send us stuff called wall? Ooh, you can do it at 19, 20, Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Feliz, California, 90027. Got some stuff that I need to plug on our next show because we've had some people send us stuff to the PO box and it's really nice and I wanna talk about it. So yeah, guys, if you have fan art, feel free to send it along and We'll hang it in the studio.

We got our friend, Danny, sent us some character portraits. We actually hung them a few weeks back, but forgot to shout it out. So thank you, Danny. They look fucking cherry. They look dope. Hard on what do you get to plug? You know what?

I'm going to plug Emily's music this week, because you have brought to my attention that you make all of the music for this podcast or next to all of it. It was just brought to your attention. I knew it, but the internet brought to my attention that not enough people know it. So more people should. And where can I hear the music that you make? Well, I put some stuff on Spotify under Emily Aksbury. I also have a secret Spotify name Sierra Needle. Sierra Needle. I wrote an album about breakfast a long time back.

It's dope. It's really good. That was one of my first ones I put on Spotify. Sierra Needle was a girl from my college that was banned from my college. Still a real person. Long live Sierra Needle. And so I took that on as a name. So yeah yeah, I don't know kind of put on the spot I wasn't prepared to plug this

I'm glad you like Sierra needle a Real person and a real band What did Sierra needle do? I don't know guys in Tyson Find out more on the short rest. Yeah, we'll definitely did we yeah, we're gonna record in like a week So yeah, we'll look her up on Facebook. I bet the school's in the wrong. Sweet guys, thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Twitter at CH Murf is me, at call these call-doll,

adiacs for disemily, at J. Kerr which is Jake, and tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's any DDPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are The youth of the nation, we are we are! Youth of the nation! Hello friends, called while here to shout out our benevolent council of elders. I'm doing it solo this time and I could not be happier, so let's go! Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven. Brad has to open the champagne for all his relatives because they're all scared of the

loud pop. J-Loma 72, aka Steelbreaker. Hard one's gym inspiration. Steelbreakers so committed, they have a weighted water bottle so their water breaks still get them gains. Dylan B, a sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times. Update, Dillon B slayed their blind date, as in accidentally killed them with a stray blade while going for a good night kiss.

Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf in age, currently going through a landscape phase and considering a residency in the Feywild. Tom P. Father the Realm and serenader of sleeping babies. Tom's skills are so sought after, stores have started selling, Tom Noise Machines. Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia like. Apparently inspired by Queen Ezra's icy rain, Spencer recently brought the chilled red wine trend to Bahumia. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch

Knight, an ex-owner of the Badgers Pine Inn. Also the owner of the Badgers Pine Inn, that's right they just bought a new tavern and named it after the first one. They turned it into a total shit hole though, in a long-con effort to sell you the Yelp rating of the first one so they can buy it back cheap. Beardman Dan. The longest beard in all of Humea. Their beard is so long it dips into Trinaville. Scott D., a high elf who, like most other glade home youngins, tried their first sip of the only slightly alcoholic, glade nectar when they were 45. Hermes W. The Bat King. Hermes has witnessed a rising class of bat venture capitalists

looking to make a play for their throne and throw the Bat King into a bat plutocracy. Spartas. Author of Spartnotes. The popular series of books that summarizes long novels into a few succinct re-rarrrarrrarrr. Very helpful. Adam R. The R-rated assassin. Unfortunately, Adam gets their adult rating less for their violence and more for the mature topics they cover, like divorce and drug addiction. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP.

Cassandra has so much HP that he was queen Ezra's melancholy freezing as cryotherapy. Danielle, the dastardly dameotherapy. Danielle the Dastardly Dame. Danielle is so dastardly that she keeps a femorian around just to change her light bulbs. QC aka Haldor Frostback. MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn, and Fuddle Longside, Elias and Red. Haldor is currently working on the QE2. That's the Queen Ezra cruise lines, and yes, the Rhinver Ruff Seas.

Mani the Mundane. accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach Divinity. When you get to a hotel early but the room's ready, that's Mani looking out for you. Daniel Yu, aka Multifor, the Mini Face Magician. They've got so many faces that they're actually super top-heavy. Truly, this magical lad is an absolute unit. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the Realm, recently spun a set of sad roadtrip jams and somehow got everyone to start a mosh pit to snow patrol. Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the Sword, and Slayer of the Sharkuterie Board.

Jeff S. Sharkuterie arrangements show a deep respect for prosciutto and smogguda alike. Cutter W. A high-elf-dandy turned-cric bark attack. After all the bush and shrub shenanigans with Queen Serilla, Cutter is contemplating branching out from just trees. John S. aka Shuberth the Mushroom has never once been cooked into a chicken marsala, never once. Ryan M. Another Frostwin Ram named Ryan that hard one didn't choose. Curly running so young and wild and free they actually inspired the 2011 Snoop Dogg Wiz

Khalifa collab by the very same name. Elena C. A Crick elf who stated the Crick after everyone else left. Still hasn't noticed. Just thinks everyone must have caught something in the timeout bag and is at home sleeping it off. Andrew Im, a mighty Qua Tua warrior. We haven't met any in this campaign yet, but rest assured, they're weird and cool. They probably all like bowling or something.

We'll figure it out later. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Manna Inn, recently created an Ulfgar themed cocktail that's just red, gatorade, and an entire handle of grain alcohol. It's served in a bathtub. Victor T, Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Luckily, Victor T was also recently transported

to another world. Unfortunately, it's just a slightly more steampunk version of Austria. Just an eye, a hob goblin who loves corn. That's right, Justin is the world's first hob goblin, and their only weakness is jiffy pop. Clayton M, the claymation delmation. Clayton recently started dating Annie S, the anime Sharpe, and things are going really well, paws crossed. The Poe Fashion All, the only lawyer to successfully beat Pop-A in litigation. But most well known for leading the case to successfully abolish private time-out sacks. Way to go, professional.

Jacob C, the Bohumi and Barrelmaker. Jacob actually made the barrel of Elvish wine hard one used to trick the chosen. Thank you Jacob, we owe you our life. Alaina M., a goblin tech entrepreneur who created a shareable scooter that's currently taken the Feywild by storm. Literally, they're powered by storms and are incredibly dangerous. McPucks, the amazing codemaster who programmed our website, it works great on all platforms, except for magical pools of ethereal water. McPucks can, can we get a fix for that? Earl and Kathleen L. A pair of druids who are each others' familiar.

Their love language is incredibly complex and they are making it work. Jive G. An asri scientist who created a strain of arcane that just melons you out and only occasionally makes you explode. Corbin A. the orb hoarder. Corbin is a deplorable orc who adores orbs, so I implore you to store your orb before Corbin murders you. And then takes it, Jostrich, the Joc Ostrich,

since they're not afraid of anything, the Jostrich spends their time shoving other nerds heads into holes that they make. Charo Arcadia's, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. It also has a stomach and an intestinal track of its own, which makes mealtime a freaking chore. Damio R. Ram Daniel's evil twin.

Damio recently made a deal with Akaram, the Ram Devil, and now they're the final boss of Bahumia. Watch out boobs. Nicholas R. AKA Saint Crickleys. Used to deliver gifts in a big bag, but youngins kept franching in it, so now they just bring gifts certificates. Jennifer V.

A popular vlogger who shows kids how to make their own super cute but incredibly dangerous gelatinous cubes. Destin C. A fart bard who wields their butt like a weapon. Their musical toots decimate even the strongest of foes. It'd be gross if it wasn't so damn effective. Devin B, the bodega lord, doesn't need to take short or long rest because they're open 24-7 baby, Michael L, a femurian with FOMO.

Seriously all their friends keep posting pics of them disemboweling commoners and Michael stuck at home studying for the L-set. That's rough, buddy. Sam H. A normal human and a party full of colorful heroes. Sam makes up for their lack of skills by being super rich and always paying for the hotel rooms. Kelvin Noodles. A pasta elemental.

Kelvin recently pledged themselves to a dark pasta demon, and now all their attacks are coated in a thick, delicious, squid ink. Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakuraiya de Sakwani, 7th of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio has been hitting the gym recently because they ate an entire cow and other armor just won't fit. Traylee the cray-fay, when Traylee was a baby she loved to play with clay and once made a cray-ash- ash tray for her,

Mom A. Aeron G. Master of the Banishment spell. Pops their blackheads by vanishing them from their pores. Sexy. Effective. Jory S. A jacked wizard who cast minor illusion on themselves to make them look a little weaker

so as not to embarrass the other wizards. Alu Card. A reverse Dracula. Alu Card doesn't suck blood. They spit extra into your neck. Baby doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C section also put on their own braces as a tween. Adam H, the Crick elf who spit the least time

in the time-out sack, but only cause they were off neckin' in the woods. Colin G, an iron dwarf with a heart of gold. Oh, er, not gold, coal. An iron dwarf with a heart of gold. Oh, or not gold, coal, an Iron Dwarf with a heart of coal. Like the others. Ryan, hard ones Ram, who just won the title of Pronking at their new Ram High School. Way to live your best life, Rye. Big Buck, pregnant Elk Moonshine, aka Moose Shines, Elk and Baby, who will probably be raised

by their father, a hell-dolphin living on an island. Richard F, an arcane dealer whose drug is actually a placebo for folks trying to kick their habit. No pull! John W.D. introduced the Crick-2, Espresso, needless to say, Thorelm, which they hadn't. Troy McCee, a rogue with a cold, having a very hard time sneaking and thieving with their sniffling and sneezing.

Cannibalist to Cthulhu is thinking about going vegan, but just accidentally ate their local Arugula farmer. Sam L, a GM answer who makes jars enchanted with sexy spells for nannter flies to pork inn. Dom R, a Murphulk that's half mermaid, half kinku, aka a bird-made, also aka a flying fish, which I just realized is a real thing. Josh S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Robo Josh can now deadlift more than hard one, but not squad!

That's important, remember that. Blitzprieg Demetri, owner of Dwarggers Big Borgher, just unveiled a new Chicken Sandwich, which no one wants because you go to Dwarggers for the Big Borgher. Come on! Caleb Storm, Cut Bearer, and Quartz Grade Hall. Quartz Cup is the size of a small SUV, so Caleb is strong as fuck. Andrew A. The new mayor of the Crick!

Unfortunately, all of their constituents have fled to Glade Home, but Andrew A. is using this opportunity to do a lot of infrastructure work. Subway could use some repair. Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohemia. Recently tried their hand at writing a role for themselves, and the rotten tomato scores are not great. Matt L. An Orchish Litharia with a very successful kissing booth, Mike H, the dragon-born Cintar, called the Hightower because they love clam baking the turret in their dad's castle and getting high. Kevin S, the Slider, Dreader, Rider, Glider, a drow aratnid who loves tiny sandwiches so

much they have recently taken one as their steed, and that steed is sprouted wings that can now soar above the clouds! Garrett M., a bar who invented Seattle-type garage band grunge music, a garage bar. Matthew E., one of the only cool green teens, hangs out with a gwayne in a pack called the green tweens. Samuel Albee, the most important member of the Cobb Squad, in charge of keeping the crew stocked with Crickwater. Be money, a religious rapper from Galatoron who totally struck gold when Theolytuck over. Till for G, a wizard who specializes in conjuring topus. According to Stunkbug, Tillford is the most powerful wizard in Bohumia, Guardian of Light, Zach H. Bohumia's only

Keyblade wielder and the only Bohumian besides Beverly to think Mickey Mouse is badass. Mitch D, an enlightened drunken master water genasi named Doc Alpha. Doc once tried Crickwater, then blacked out and woke up having liberated Galator on. Curtis S, a short skinny human who had a much harder time at the dwarf in itch than hard one, but was way less emo about it. Colton B, Mama's possum trainer who has turned into more of a friend since the possum queen was awakened. They meet up for drinks on Tuesday nights. Jin's Christian T, the social media influencer behind Jin's Lindell comedy, and thus Jin'sinslandel officials worst

enemy. Gage M. The fastest draw at the Cric. Not the most accurate, but the fastest. Many a stump have been defaced by gauges' stray bullets. Montana Monarch. A sentient butterfly who lives at the Cric. Montana doesn't need to ride a horse, but boy do they. T. Avinus Arroggan, an Atomar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath, but forgot what for.

They were visited by the god Bahamut and thought, oh hey, maybe I sworn oath to him, but felt too awkward to bring it up. Rayleigh PS, the only pixie farmer who pays taxes. Thanks for keeping the roads paved, Rayleigh. Aaron C, a goblin pilot who actually follows strict safety guidelines is mercilessly made fun of by the other Goblins. Dragon Sin Pie. The Dragon Sin Pie.

Cheaches dragons how to hoard gold and then sit on top of it, which is very uncomfortable and thus a lot harder than it looks. Hannah F. One of only 17,000 airship pilots who are more skilled than a hard one. That's a good one. Bradley E, a member of Balnor's Village who escaped the drought attack and survived behinding in a prickler bush and eating meonuts, known around the autumn court as the prince of the Pricks. Devon T, the new defense against the dark arts teacher at Ezri Magic Academy.

Devon is secretly evil and plotting to kill Tanaf and Tinkul. Fun! L&D! Hosted daytime talk show and go later on called Ellen. Unfortunately, all of the dancing has been banned since the show's in took over. Carbrow Chapel Hill FPV, a fellow horse who ran off with bow jangles after the band of boobs forgot that they had him. Chad A, a critter translator down at the creek, who is fluent in the possums native rare, and ye old meant to speak. Reese in S, an awakened possum who chooses to speak in rare rarens, as a tribute to their rich heritage. TJM, a creek bullywug who had dental surgery to go undercover as a swamp bullywug.

It's like that movie face off, but with a weird frogman with nice teeth. So actually just like that movie face-off. And that's all of our elders. Thank you all so much for listening. We really appreciate it and we will see you next week. Bye bye! Thank you.